#usually being near friends cheers me up but today it only made me wanna cry

[tortademaracuya]

Everyday feels exactly the same and it makes me wonder if there's even a reason to do anything

[letarasstuff]

Showing the Bird

(A/N): This was requested by an anon, I hope you have fun reading it!

Summary: Spencer's daughter always is quick to pick things up she shoudn't do, this includes a certain gesture with her hand and middle fínger.

Warnings: A kid showing her middle finger

Wordcount: 1.6k

✨Masterlist✨ _____________________________

Spencer is a technophobe. That’s why (Y/N) has limited access to any kind of electronics, which is a good thing for a three year old. The only sort she is allowed to use is the TV in the living room and even there her choices are limited to the several DVDs the little family owns and cable TV. Emily is in the process of persuading him to get a subscription to a streaming service for (Y/N)’s sake.

“Ok, Sweetheart. One hour of TV today before eating dinner and getting ready for bed, like we negotiated”, Spencer reminds his daughter before turning it on a kid’s channel. She nods, already engrossed by Peppa Pig hanging up on that sheep for being able to whistle.

Earlier the two Reids made a deal: If (Y/N) got all the states and their capitals right, she is allowed one hour of television. This may sound like he forced her to learn this information, but it’s really just a way to stimulate her brain and the toddler is eager to learn. Spencer only has to make it look like she has a gain in it.

The young doctor doesn’t like to leave his kid alone while watching TV. It’s not because he can’t leave her on her own for a few minutes. Spencer wants full control over what (Y/N) sees and what not. Especially he can tell what effects something has on a child and he doesn’t want her exposed to things she shouldn’t be subjected to at her age.

“Daddy, why are the animals talking to each other? I know they are translating all languages to us, but a pig speaks not sheep language.” Spencer is slightly baffled at her question. It’s mostly cute that she explains most things to herself in such a plausible way.

“Uhm, well Sweetheart. You have to-” Saved by the bell. Or more like the ring of his cellphone. Still he hesitates to get it. It’s Morgan, who probably calls because the team needs help with the case.

Spencer had to stay behind for this one, because he planned on taking his vacation days with (Y/N) to fly up to Las Vegas to visit her grandma. But Diana spontaneously took the opportunity to go on a trip with the sanctorium. Now the two do all the things they don’t have the time for in their regular day.

They already were at the aquarium, visited three different museums and even went to the movies once to watch the latest disney movie. Spencer really had to keep himself from pointing out the inaccuracies to not spoil (Y/N)’s fun.

Now the father debates taking the call. He doesn’t want to leave his daughter alone while the TV is on, but also doesn’t want to talk about a case right in front of her. The option of turning the TV off is also from the table, because this would be just plain mean.

So he answers it, afraid that the voicemail will turn on. “Hey Morgan, wait a second, I’ll have to leave the room”, then he puts his hand over the speaker and turns to the toddler. “Sweetheart, I have to talk to your Uncle Derek real quick. I’ll be right back.” She nods and goes back to her cartoon.

But while her father is in the room next door, the audio gets awfully quiet. Frustrated, because she isn’t able to understand properly what they are saying, (Y/N) looks for the remote. And there it is, waiting patiently for her and her little toddler hands.

But instead of turning the volume up, she accidentally changes the channel to an old cop movie. Curious about what is happening on the screen, the girl leaves it on for a few seconds. Upon entering a room, another man greets him with his middle finger raised. (Y/N) looks at her own and tries to copy that movement. On the third try she kind of gets it.

Getting bored of not knowing what the plot of the movie is, she turns it back on the cartoon she watched earlier and settles back down on her little chair next to the table full of books (Spencer put it there to avoid her sitting too close to the TV and straining her eyes while watching her shows, the distance is perfectly measured).

Just as (Y/N) sits down Spencer re-enters the living room, feeling relieved because he was able to help his team. “Hey Sweetie, is everything alright?” Happily she nods, showing him the bird.

Spencer’s face? Just imagine the shook Pikachu. “(Y/N)! You don’t do that! This is really mean!” He tells her in a stern voice. Where did she learn that from? He doesn’t know it, but the genius is almost a 100% sure she saw someone on the street doing it, (Y/N) always was quick to pick things like these up.

The toddler looks at him with a sad face, close to tears. “I-i-i didn’t know. I’m sor-sorry”, she says, beginning to cry. Oh no, this is not what Spencer was aiming for. “No no no, don’t cry. It’s alright. I’m not mad at you. You just don’t do this, people can get really hurt by your gesture.”

After calming her down, he thinks of something they can do outside of their apartment, to forget the little incident. “Do you wanna go to the office with me? All your aunts and uncles are going to get there soon and maybe we can go eat dinner with them?” Excited by the thought of seeing her family, (Y/N) nods and jumps up to get her own little go bag.

It’s a bright pre-packed backpack with small coloring books, normal books, pencils and other knick knacks she might need when she goes out with her father. The only thing that they have to put in is her favorite stuffed animal of the day. They call it like Spencer’s work bag, because the toddler once overheard the word at the office and refused to call it something different than his.

“Hey, look at who decided to give us a little visit!” Penelope exclaims as soon as the team leaves the elevator. (Y/N) tries to keep up with her preppy step, desperately holding onto her hand to not lose her.

As they finally come to a halt in front of everybody, the little girl smiles sweetly at them. “Hi”, she says in the most adorable voice. But instead of doing her usual wave, she raises her small hand with her middle finger standing out.

You just hear a faint “NOO!” and a crashing noise before Spencer comes along in a jog. He scoops his daughter up, looking her into the eyes. He takes a few steps away from where the team is standing.

“(Y/N), what did we say about this gesture”, he asks her in a serious tone. Instantly tears start to form in her eyes again, but Spencer knows he has to be strong now. “(Y/N), you have to stop doing it. It can really hurt people. Do you remember when Jason made fun of the braids Auntie Penelope put your hair in?” She nods.

Meanwhile the team stands awkwardly in the background, not knowing what to do. They never really witnessed the genius reprimanding his daughter in front of them. Though it’s not directly in front them.

“You were hurt by his words. The same is with the gesture you just made. We don’t do this to people, we don’t want to make them feel bad. Now, I don’t want to punish you, because you didn’t really know the meaning. Just apologize to your Aunties and Uncles. Next time you do it, there will be a hard no on TV for a week.”

Quickly wiping her eyes, the toddler mutters a small “Ok Daddy.” Spencer’s heart hurts a little at that, but he needed to be stern in this one.

She wiggles out of his grasp and slowly makes her way over to the others. (Y/N) gives each of them a hug, apologizing individually to them.

“So, who wants to see the new pictures of Sergio I got on my desk?” Emily asks in a cheerful tone to break the awkward tension. Immediately the girl takes upon that offer and bounces off to the desk with her godmother in tow.

Spencer still stands near the elevator, watching the interaction going down through the glass doors. Hotch pats him on the shoulder. “I know it’s difficult to be mad at them or strict even, but you did the right thing”, he reassures him briefly before making his way to his office. The genius smiles, as a parent you seldom get encouraging words about how you raise your child. It kind of feels like walking down a path with closed eyes. But on both sides are deep rivers with piranhas in them.

Derek takes a place beside his best friend. “You know, as serious as this is, it’s also as funny. I mean how she just smiled sweetly as a cupcake and deadass pulled her middle finger up like nobody’s business? My man, in your case I would keep a close eye on her during (Y/N)’s teen years.” Both laugh at the bizarre situation.

But luckily the toddler learned her lesson from this and stopped showing people the bird as a greeting. This is until she learns the next inappropriate thing, she should rather not do.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962

Spencer Reid x child!reader:

@ilovetaquitosmmmm

[idy-ll-ique]

One And Only.

Pairing: Mob Boss!Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut

Warnings: s*x

Requested: nope

Summary: Their marriage is for business purposes only but they fall in love. Until Y/N starts having a doubt... does Steve Rogers have a mistress? It's all a misunderstanding...

Author's Note: Hiya peeps, iw!Steve in this one. Enjoy!

---

"Hey, you doing okay?" Y/N turned away from the mirror and smiled at Natasha and Wanda. "As well as a bride could be minutes before her wedding," she jabbed, making the ladies chuckle. "It's going to be fine, Y/N, Steve will treat you well. We've been friends with him for years, one thing we know about him is that he never treats women wrong."

"I don't doubt that, it's just that— I met him a week ago. One time. I don't even know him, anything about him, other than the fact that he leads the most feared crime gang in the entire country," Y/N muttered, tugging at the sapphire necklace she was wearing. Something blue. "You will get to know him soon enough, though. Come on now, everyone is waiting."

Her father stood outside the door, a soft smile on his face. "You look lovely, honey," he cooed, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead as the two ladies sauntered past them into the Hall with their partners. "Thank you, papa." The two people walked into the Hall and everyone stood up to greet the bride. At the end of the aisle stood Steve, tall and proud, a huge smile on his face.

Y/N couldn't help but smile back. As soon as she reached near him her father let go, but not before pressing a kiss to her cheek. Steve took her hand and brought it to his lips when she stood in front of him. The priest standing next to them began his usual recitations; Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today… Y/N didn't really pay attention to his speech.

She was busy staring at Steve, who looked magnificent in an all black suit, his dirty blond hair and full beard making her feel all sorts of things. His smile softened a bit, also not listening to the priest. He was observing her. It was supposed to be purely transactional, the marriage, but he knew it wasn't gonna end like one. It would be a proper marriage.

Happily married.

She looked wonderful. He met her a week ago; a bit wary at the concept of merging two mobs by marriage but the moment he saw her, he knew he had to have her. She was his, no one else's. The two quickly exchanged their vows as the ring bearers came forward with the rings. The bride and the groom took the rings with smiles and turned to face each other.

"Steve Rogers, do you take Y/N Y/L/N to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?" The priest turned to Steve expectantly.

"I do," Steve spoke, loud and clear, as he slipped the ring on Y/N's finger. Y/N had to admit, she felt a bit giddy when those words left his mouth.

"Y/N Y/L/N, do you take Steve Rogers to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health and forsaking all others, be faithful only to him so long as you both shall live?" Y/N smiled shyly at Steve. "I do."

Steve grinned widely when she neatly placed the ring on his finger. "You may now kiss the bride." And the whole room erupted into stentorian cheering as Steve gathered his wife in his arms, pressing his lips to hers in a deep kiss. Only when he heard a wolf-whistle coming from the crowd did Steve stop, pulling away to look at his out-of-breath wife.

"Mrs Rogers," he spoke fondly and she giggled. "Mr Rogers," she teased as they turned to the crowd, Y/N clutching Steve's arm as they smiled widely. Not many people had attended the impromptu wedding; just Steve's close friends and Y/N's father. Her bridesmaids were Natasha and Sharon, with Wanda being her maid-of-honor.

Steve's groomsmen were Sam and Tony, with Bucky being his best man. "Well, the first dance goes to the bride and her father, I'd say," Clint called out, already helping himself to a bottle of beer as music started playing. Steve reluctantly handed his wife over to her father, bidding her with a sweet kiss on her cheek.

"I hope you know why I had to do this, honey," her father sighed as they danced in the middle of the Hall. "I know, papa. Don't feel bad, I think I'm starting to like Steve. He seems friendly enough and Nat and Wan told me he's good to women." Her dad chuckled. "Well, he doesn't have the label of promiscuity that other leaders do." He was right.

Steve Rogers never really had time for dating, too busy leading the salient mafia. Also, the thought of having women just for a night or two didn't sit right with him, so he never went in that direction. "Can I have this dance now?" As soon as the song changed Steve appeared on her side, holding his hand out. She smiled and took his hand.

He easily slid an arm around her waist as the music slowed. One hand around her waist and the other holding her hand in classic ballroom dancing position, he pulled her closer. She rested her head on his chest, the arm which was around his neck lowering to his middle. "I'll treat you well," Steve whispered as they languidly swayed in the middle of the room.

"I know. If it's not much, um, I think I'd like to take things slow…" she hinted, hoping he'd notice. And he did. "Of course, of course, we can do that. I don't want to make you uncomfortable in any way," he assured her. "Thank you, Mr Rogers," she mumbled. "My pleasure, Mrs Rogers." The rest of the ceremony was enjoyable to say the least.

---

10 months had passed since the wedding.

Steve and Y/N were still taking things slow, against their own wishes.

It was a misunderstanding.

They loved each other; they really did, but they couldn't bring themselves to say the words to the other. Steve was purposely not making the first move, in fear that his wife would think he was rushing things. Y/N, on the other hand, had started severely doubting herself because 10 months have passed, does he not want to be with me anymore?

She was expecting him to make the first move, and he was expecting her to give him the permission first. It was annoying, to say the least. They were still friendly with each other, so Steve didn't pay much attention to the anxiety his wife was feeling. Y/N was beside herself with worry that had increased tenfold since... well, 15 minutes ago. She had overheard a conversation.

"So, how's Smith treating ya?"

"Same old, ya know. He has like 3 bitches as mistresses, thinks I don't know about 'em. Which mob man doesn't have a mistress in today's world, ha?"

"Preach, sister. I'd think even Rogers has one, heard somewhere that he and his little wife haven't even consummated their marriage. Probably doesn't even wanna be with her, he did marry her for the business."

"Mmhm, I agree. What about you, Lin?"

"Oh, Danny? Probably out there sleeping with Denise."

She didn't mean to eavesdrop on their personal conversation, but she couldn't help it. Mistress? She was familiar with the term, but what she was not familiar with was the fact that nearly all married mobsters had one. And when they mentioned Steve, she was done for. Crying, she had gone back to her room, collapsing on the bed, sobbing.

In her crying state, she failed to notice Steve also in the room as she raked her brain, thinking about all the times Steve had come home from work. He had given her no reason to believe that he had another woman, but what if he was just that good at hiding it? "Sweetheart? My love, why are you crying?" The bed dipped next to her.

Steve had just stepped out of the shower when his wife had thrown the door of their shared suite open, falling on the bed with a nerve-wracking sob. Why was she crying? "S-Steve…" she stammered and he pulled her on his lap, rocking her back and forth, getting her to calm down. It worked as Y/N's heart rate slowed down.

"Y/N, tell me, what happened? Who hurt you, tell me their names." Steve suddenly saw red at the prospect of someone hurting his wife. "N-No one hurt me, I just… I accidentally overheard a conversation I shouldn't have and—" She trailed off when her breath hitched. Steve soothingly rubbed her back, pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

"What were they talking about?"

"Mistresses. One of the ladies said that nearly all mob men had mistresses and I— We haven't even consummated our marriage, haven't done anything besides kissing so I just thought— Do you have a mistress?" Her question shocked him. Him? Keeping a mistress when he had a wife he was head-over-heels for? "My darling, I love you."

She looked up at his words. "You do?" she mumbled, taking a deep breath. "Of course I do. The only reason I didn't say anything was because you told me, on the day of our wedding, that you wanted to take things slow. Before doing something, I needed your permission and that's why I haven't made a move on you." Y/N felt very silly all of a sudden.

"I'm so sorry for accusing you—"

He chuckled and shook his head. "Don't apologize to me, princess. Come here." He hugged her tightly, cradling the back of her head as she buried her face in the crook of his neck. "Do you know how many of my colleagues have asked me the same question?" She gently shook her head. "One too many. Do you know what I say to them each time?"

"No…"

"I say, why would I have a mistress when my wife makes me the happiest person on the planet? Why would I have a mistress when my wife is an angel personified? You guys are just jealous that she's mine and not yours." Y/N's skin burnt at his praise and she burrowed closer to him. "Steve," she muttered bashfully and felt him chuckle underneath her.

"Will you allow me to show you just how much I love you?"

"Yes."

He gently lowered her on the bed and hovered above her, one large hand coming to rest on her cheek. Then he made quick work of their clothes until they were bare in front of each other; Steve's eyes went wide with awe when he saw her body. "You are perfect," he declared, his warm hands grabbing every bit of skin it came in contact with as his lips touched her neck.

Y/N mewled underneath him when he shamelessly groped both her breasts, groaning. "So perfect. So beautiful. Only mine, my one and only," he whispered, pressing his lips to hers in a chaste kiss as he felt his shaft harden. "I love you," she blurted out as one of his hands found her core, his fingers scissoring her open, getting her ready for penetration.

"I love you too, my sweet," he smiled at her before lining his shaft against her core. He pushed in inch-by-inch, giving her some time to adjust to his size. He was bigger than anyone she had previously been with, much bigger. Y/N bit her lip to stifle a moan as he bottomed out inside her, grunting. "None of that," he rasped, "I want to hear you."

Y/N groaned when he lazily rotated his hips, not holding back, just like he asked. "That's it, baby girl. Just like that." He sped up inside her, grabbing the headboard of the bed, each snap of his hips sending waves of pleasure washing over Y/N. "Oh, Steve," she whimpered, her hands balling into fists around the bedsheets she was clutching, moving weightlessly against him.

"Are you close, my dear?" he growled when her walls clenched around him. She meekly nodded, throwing her head back as she tried to hold in. "Only one moment, love, I'm close too." His thrusts soon got sloppier. "Cum with me," he ground out before letting go, shooting his load inside her. Y/N came just moments later, her arms wrapping around Steve's shoulders when he slumped on her.

"There we go, our marriage is sealed," he joked and she laughed tiredly, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Steve rolled off of her, smiling gently when he saw her drifting in and out of consciousness. "Go to sleep, I'm right here. I'll take care of you." He got up and walked to the closet, taking out a spare towel. Running it under some hot water, he sat next to her and cleaned her up.

Then he cleaned himself up, put on a pair of pyjama pants and lay down next to his sleeping wife, an automatic smile blooming on his face. He'd dreamed that their first time would be unforgettable, and it was, but he also wished it was… longer. God knew he was an insatiable man; but he also didn't want to pressure the woman he had grown to love.

There's always a next time, anyway.

"Sleep tight, my dear."

---

A/N: Leave a like if you enjoyed, thanks for reading!

[giorno-plays-piano]

Vicious

Part IV

Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, all characters are adults.

Words: 1880.

Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.

Part I

Part II

Part III

_________

After you came back to your room, you got a message from Steve about changing the locks on both you door and your locker. You were so taken aback by today's conversation in the student council room that you had completely forgotten about it. Apparently, Steve had already requested the change of locks on your behalf through email, and you were really grateful to him for that: you dreaded coming back to the room that had been forced open. Of course, tonight you would have to move your dresser to the door so that nobody could enter when you'd be sleeping.

Shit. It was absolutely crazy.

"I'm not sure about all this, Steve." You texted him while laying on your bed and staring at your phone in the darkness of the room. "It doesn't seem right."

Naturally, you meant the fake dating thing. It felt horrible thinking of what others would think after seeing you with five different guys. Would they be calling you a whore in the open? Make some nasty jokes behind your back? Report you to the school administration for immoral behavior? Remembering those bigots from the student office, you cringed at the thought.

Besides, it still didn't make sense to you why you had to date all five. Sure, if they were around you at all times like your friends, these unhinged bastards who stole your things wouldn't do anything funny again, but it wasn't like that. What could one guy do against a group of other students?

"Listen, I didn't want to talk about it in class, but I'm worried it won't end with a stolen lingerie."

You didn't like his message.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. They might attempt something much worse than a theft."

Oh no. Was he talking about rape? Seriously? Did he anticipate others were so crazy they would do something like that?

But then again, girls were being raped in colleges even if it weren't the all-boys schools. A shiver ran down your spine.

"But if several people attack me, just one of you won't be enough." You typed with your shaky fingers, trembling beneath your blanket.

"It's not about the pure force. Each of us has a certain reputation, and others wouldn't want to cross us over because of it."

Wait, this was interesting. What on Earth did he mean? What kind of reputation was that to prevent people from messing with them?

"Thor is a good athlete and a great leader, his basketball team is ready to beat people to death for him."

"Loki's father is one of academy’s main sponsors, and he can have this school turned upside down if he wants to."

"Bucky is a threat by himself, but he also have a company of loyal friends."

"I don't think Peter is serious enough to scare anyone, but with his computer skills he could easily blackmail others, I’ve already seen him doing it. Students would be wary to cross him over just like any of us."

Steve was writing you a bunch of messages with a terrifying speed, and you could barely read the first when he was already sending you the second. It felt absolutely insane. Did he choose every guy because the more powerful admirers you have, the less others would intervene? Well, at least in case of Bucky and Thor who could beat people to near death, it was wise. You preferred not to think of Peter - you had no idea someone as sweet and caring as him did something as disgusting as a blackmail.

“But what others will think? 5 boyfriends? Others will think you are dating-” you paused, chewing your lips to bit, “- a whore. Nobody gonna stood up for me.”

"Imagine if each of us tells our friends that other four guys were just asked to watch over you, but you date only one.”

Oh. Yes, this was slightly better. Then you wouldn’t have to do something as bold as kissing every guy in public, instead maintaining the mystery who you were really dating. 

Damn, how Steve even came up with this plan? Why was everything so complicated?

“It’s getting late. Good night.” Your phone vibrated again, and you huffed with irritation. You hoped you could ask him a bit more - about what you were going to do with the thieves Steve found, for example - but he was probably getting tired with all your questions. It was better to ask him tomorrow.

___________________

The next morning you were restless: since you were starting to going out with guys, you felt like you needed to look better than you usually were, so you spent your morning working on your hair and makeup. It was like fake dating, right? You had to pretend you wanted to look pretty for them.

What else did you have to do? Cook something sweet for them? Yeah, probably, but not at the start of your relationship. Going to cafe together? Helping each other study? Loki also mentioned the cinema...

You felt dumb. Of course, you dated guys before, but now you realized you had no idea how to act not to cause any suspicion. Oh boy, it was going to be a tough day.

Thor nocked at you door thirty minutes before your first session, but you woke up so early you were more than ready to go. As you opened the door, first moving the dresser back to its place, the guy looked at you with a puzzled expression on his face.

"Hey, what was that?"

"The dresser. I can't leave the door just like that until the lock is changed."

He blinked at you, watching the door and then probably remembering somebody forced the lock open to steal your underwear.

"These guys are batshit crazy." He mumbled and nodded you to go with him, putting his hand on your shoulder. "Don't worry, they won't do it again."

You wanted to argue they definitely would, but, seeing his warm smile, you thought Thor simply wanted to cheer you up and smiled at him in return. In the end, he was here only to make you feel safer: you didn't doubt he was very popular with the girls every time he went out to the city.

"You look great today!" He said sheepishly, walking in the dorm's corridor while other students were staring at him silently, obviously surprised to see you two together. "I mean, not that you looked bad yesterday, I just..."

Watching his face suddenly getting crimson red, you couldn't help but giggle at his expression. You could never think Thor was actually bashful around girls. Yeah, at your old place he'd definitely be one of the most popular guys around.

It was lunch time when you two could actually talk, sitting together at the same table and being watched by everyone around. Strangely, with Thor constantly talking and often rubbing your hand with his, it didn't feel suffocating, and you held your head high: regardless whether those pricks were looking at you, you weren't going to run away to your room and cry there like a little girl. Loki was right: you weren't a silly little sheep, scared of your own shadow. You wouldn't let anyone spoil your time in the academy you dreamt studying in.

Funny enough, Thor turned out to be a talkative type when he was speaking about basketball and his team in particular. He loved sports: while you were more into hockey, the way he talked was so enthusiastic it made you listen to him with a genuine interest. Thor's love for basketball was infectious.

He seemed a simple man, this giant bag of muscles who was laughing so loud people around him flinched; Thor wasn't the exact type of a guy you would encounter on your own, but he seemed nice, sincere, and surprisingly softhearted. You felt at ease talking to him, and soon you too acted like you'd known each other for long.

It was a pity you'd only met under this circumstances. It felt like you two could became friends.

But then when Thor absent-mindedly put his arm around your shoulders, you remembered Loki's warning: they would try to gain your favors. Was it the reason Thor was so nice to someone he just met? Wasn't it suspicious of him? You couldn't let your guard down after just one lunch together. In fact, you knew nothing of the man sitting in front of you.

"I knew something like would happen." Some guy to your left sighed loudly, catching your attention. "They were fucking crazy."

"I'm not surprised either. I just wanna know who they got in a fight with to be beaten like that. Have you heard they broke Gray's both legs?"

"Woah, both? That's brutal, man."

You shivered, trying not to listen to them.

"It'd happen sooner or later anyway. They were completely wild."

A word caught your attention right away: that was what Steve called those students who were stealing your things. Could it be a coincidence? Surely, in an all-boys school the students were fighting each other constantly.

But to the point of breaking both legs of someone? Really?

As you sent Thor a nervous look, he gently patted your shoulder, lowering his voice so no one would hear him, "I'm sure it's nothing to do with you. These things happen here from time to time because the guys have no idea what to do with all that testosterone."

You hoped he was right.

The rest of the day went as usual aside from Thor walking the corridors with you and chatting about sports: he managed to convince you to come see the game next month when they would be having a tournament. You were grateful to him for helping to ease your mind because the news of guys being sent to the ambulance made you shook. Steve also mentioned something about his and other's friends ready to beat anyone to death, right?

By the middle of your last class you couldn't think of it any longer and quickly typed a message to Loki. Of all people, right now he seemed the most sincere to you.

"Hi. Are the guys who were beaten last night are the ones who stole my things?"

Waiting was a special torture when you held the phone in your arms beneath your desk, hoping to see your screen lighting up with a message. In five minutes you got your reply.

"Yes." The message said simply, but it was enough for you to stare at your phone with horror, wishing you didn't ask Loki anything.

Oh shit. It wasn't a coincidence, right? It's impossible. Somebody did it on purpose. But who of the five?

"Do you know who did it?"

Next time he answered pretty fast, "No."

A part of you felt relieved. Maybe it wasn't related, finally. Maybe they got beaten by somebody who was fed up with their attitude because they were crazy as the guys in the cafeteria said.

But what if it weren't true?

"Who's the most brutal among you five?"

Biting your lips, you started rocking in your chair a little, making the guy on your left to roll his eyes in irritation.

The phone's screen flashed again.

"Barnes."

Part V

_________

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[dadsbongos]

Katsuki Bakugou having an airhead gf for about 1130 words

Movie/Game/Show: My Hero Academia Dynamic: Katsuki Bakugou/Reader Warnings: airhead shit ig, I just got diagnosed, so I gave you ADHD because :D Summary: Katsuki never thought he’d be a fan of airheads, but here he was - holding one in his arms like he’d lose her anytime. ~~~

“Why the wide smile, dork?” Katsuki side-eyed his girlfriend.

“Because,” (Y/n) giggled, squeezing tighter at her boyfriend’s - admittedly sweaty - hand, “you came with me! You don’t usually do that.”

“Whatever,” he gruffed, “I just wanted to spend time with my girlfriend, that a damn crime?”

“No! You should do it more often,” the girl smiled, “Like all the time.”

“Maybe you’ll start training with me, hah?” the blond teased.

“No way,” (Y/n) immediately pouted as the couple walked down the street from their dorms, “Your training’s crazy! I think I'd die…”

“You wouldn’t die, dumbass,” Katsuki huffed, “I didn’t date you just to kill you.”

“I’d hope so,” the girl mumbled quietly.

~~

Tracing over the hand laid against her stomach, (Y/n) closed her eyes with a small smile as Katsuki pressed his cheek to her shoulder. Fresh slivers of golden sunlight peeked through the boy’s blinds as morning arose to wake the couple. Katsuki, for as much as he wanted to deny it, found it hard to sleep without (Y/n) - without her warmth and comfort. Something in the body he could hold so close to his was inexplicably soothing.

Neither party was asleep anymore, simply basking in the glow of morning as soft sheets spread over their lackadaisical bodies. (Y/n) turned the hand over her midsection to face palm-up and began gently running her fingers over the firm flesh there as well.

“You have pretty soft hands, Kacchan.”

“It’s some shit with my Quirk, I don’t get it,” he mumbled, “Don’t get me started on the suppository shit, that made me so pissed to find out.”

“What’s the suppository stuff about?” (Y/n) quirked a brow, looking to her boyfriend despite his eyes being closed.

“Anal fissure rectification,” Katsuki pressed his lips into a thin line, knowing he’d have to rephrase or his girlfriend wouldn’t understand, “Tears in your asshole get healed with nitroglycerin and since my sweat’s so similar, I bet it’d work too.”

“Gross,” the girl fake gagged, still drawing circles in her boyfriend’s palm, “That sucks. I’m sorry you had to learn that.”

“Helps with chest pain too, so it’s not complete shit,” Katsuki huffed, shifting so he was even closer to his girlfriend, “But that was horsecock to find out.”

“I love the way you phrase things.”

“I try.”

~~

“Man, Bakugou,” Denki murmured, watching as (Y/n) and Momo battled on the other side of the gym, “I didn’t know (L/n) was so strong. Kind of inspiring, now I wanna be more like her.”

Katsuki’s brows furrowed, he loved (Y/n) - dearly - but, “I saw her drop a pizza and cry about it for thirty minutes last night.”

~~

“If I illegally download a movie in the Bahamas, does that make me a pirate in the Caribbean?” (Y/n) suddenly asked as Katsuki was doing his homework.

Pausing, the blond turned in his chair to look his lover in the eyes, blinking at her twice before sighing, “Did you take your Adderall today?”

“...maybe…”

~~

“I hope I get run over,” Katsuki grumbled, reading off the pairings for the newest team-building exercise.

“Aw, don’t say that!” (Y/n) cheered, patting her beau’s back, “Kaminari isn’t all bad, he’s super nice!”

“You’re just lucky you got Ponytail, she’s the only useful extra here,” the boy huffed.

“Hey,” (Y/n) puffed out her cheeks.

“Stop whining,” Katsuki rolled his eyes, ignoring the calls of his name from a certain electric blond, “You’re not an extra, I don’t see why you’re pissed.”

“I’m not?!”

“Fuck no, I wouldn’t date a nobody.”

~~

“If a whole zoo escaped, what would be your top priority?” Mina suddenly blurted out.

Just as (Y/n) went to say ‘ducks’, Katsuki answered, “Tigers and lions, duh.”

“Right,” the girl nervously chuckled, “Obviously.”

~~

“Katsuki?”

“What?” the boy turned to his girlfriend, slightly disturbed as she never called him by his proper legal name since realizing she didn't have to.

“I’m scared,” (Y/n) fiddled with her fingers, “I threw a boomerang a few years ago and it didn’t come back, what if it hits me and knocks me out while I’m in class? Or while I’m on a mission?”

Katsuki’s face dropped into a deadpan, “Are you joking?”

“No.”

“Alright, come here, I’ll tell you a secret,” he waited for her to come closer, “I destroyed the boomerang,” at (Y/n)’s shocked face, he nodded solemnly, “It came in while you were sleeping a few weeks ago, I didn’t say anything cuz I knew you’d flip the fuck out.”

“Wow!” (Y/n) smiled brightly, taking her boyfriend into a tight hug, “You’re so cool, Kacchan!”

“I know.”

~~~

Looking over her study guide for the upcoming economics unit, (Y/n)’s brows furrowed, “Inflation? Isn’t that like… a kink?”

Katsuki’s head snapped over to his girlfriend as she sat at her desk, “Tell me you’re joking right now.”

~~

“If I was hiding from a killer, I’d just hide in the pantry!” (Y/n) beamed, “That way, I could eat while hiding, it’s simple.”

“Yeah, then the killer could hear you opening loudass chip bags, it’s genius,” Katsuki sighed.

~~

“I hate everyone in this school,” Katsuki grunted.

(Y/n) frowned, “Even me?”

“I said everyone, (Y/n), not every ten.”

~~

“Someone’s gotta talk to Denki about the birds and the bees,” Hanta shook his head, “Not gonna be me.”

“Huh?” Denki queried a brow, “A talk about what and who?”

“I’ll teach you about the birds and bees,” (Y/n) nodded sadly, placing a hand on her friend’s shoulder, “They’re disappearing at an alarming rate.”

~~

“The recipe says to beat three eggs,” (Y/n) read off the box of brownies.

“At what?” Katsuki snorted, “Hand-to-hand combat?”

“Has to be,” his girlfriend seriously replied, “Aizawa banned Quirks in the kitchen.”

~~

“Wanna hear a sad joke, Kacchan?”

“Why fuckin’ sad?”

“Oh, autocorrect, I meant dad.”

Katsuki’s eyes narrowed at (Y/n), “This is a verbal conversation.”

~~

(Y/n) looked up from the bed sheets in the nurse's room, “You can call it a near-death experience, Recovery Girl, but I call it a vibe check from God.”

Katsuki immediately shook his head, “Stop… please stop.”

~~

“Stress is not good for the baby!” (Y/n) shouted, gripping at the sides of her head.

Katsuki looked over, “What baby?!”

“Me!” the girl sniffled slightly, looking on the verge of tears with her study guide and notes spread out on her desk, “I’m the baby.”

Awkwardly looking away, Katsuki clenched his eyes shut before throwing his arms open and wrapping them tightly around his anxious girlfriend, “Tell me when the stress levels are down, you big baby.”

“Thanks, Kacchan.”

“Whatever, nerd.”

~~

“Hey, does it smell like gas in here?”

(Y/n) pat herself down before pulling out a lighter and igniting it, “Nah.”

Katsuki’s eyes widened as his girlfriend casually placed the lighter back in her coat pocket, “Oh my fucking God.”

~~

“Careful with my emotional baggage,” (Y/n) reminded Eijiro as he loaded her things into the trunk, “It’s designer.”

“He knows,” Katsuki rubbed at the bridge of his nose, “You say it every time.”

(Y/n) nodded, as if her boyfriend was stupid, “Because it’s funny every time, Kacchan.”

[thanxxskz]

I just saw your post about requests and I was wondering if you could write an enemies to lovers fic, angst with a happy ending for Minho?

hi! i don't usually write angst because i suck at it hsshs but i hope i did well and that it was what you expected and you like it! sorry for the wait too.

misunderstanding - l.mh

minho and you had been enemies since you met in high school, it kept going till you graduated and continued in university, because that was your luck, he seemed to follow you everywhere.

you didn't even remember why or how this enemy thing started. at one point, you were ready to end it, but minho was an asshole - to you - and then you decided that if he wanted war, he would have it. you were no damn coward.

on the other hand, minho hated you - or strongly disliked you - and every time you asked him why, he would roll his eyes and say "tsk, as if you don't remember" but you really didn't.

one day, you were in the cafe near your university. you had a free hour, so you and your best friend, sook, went there. your morning hadn't been the best, so you were kinda in a bad mood.

"cheer up, y/n, the day will get better"

you looked at her "it definitely won't" you said, as you saw minho entering the cafe. he went to the counter and ordered and you were praying to whoever was up there that he didn't look at you.

you sighed when he looked at you and smirked.

"oh, y/n, whatcha doing here?"

"please leave me alone, minho, today's not a good day"

"as if" he snorted and left.

your friend looked at you, and you couldn't believe that, for once, he left you alone. yeah, he laughed at you but he left.

---

it was the afternoon, you were still at your university because you had homework left and a few projects that you wanted to finish.

the door opened and when you looked up, you saw minho. you rolled your eyes and kept working on everything. he sat in the table in front of you, you could see his back.

again, you found yourself thinking of what did you ever do to him for him to treat you like this. before he got mad at you and started being an ass, you were friends. not the best friends kinda friends, but you were on good terms. it happened so long ago, but it still bothered you.

"can i know what did i ever do to you?" you said "i can't stop thinking about what you said, and the more i think, more confused i am"

minho turned to you "are you being serious right now? you don't really remember what you did? wow"

you shook your head "we were on good terms, and you were nice to me, why would i ever not treat you well?"

he looked at the wall "remember when rumors spread that i was going to confess to you before the end of second year?" you nodded "they were true, i was going to confess. i even told your best friend of the time, areum, so she could help me. but then, later that day, i passed by the bathrooms and hear her speak with other girls, without you. the conversation was about me and you, apparently she had told you that i was going to confess and your reaction wasn't the best-"

"that's why you make my life hell sometimes?!"

"let me finish. your reaction wasn't the best and you supposedly said that you were my friend out of pity and that it was disgusting that someone like me even thought that had any chance with you. i didn't want to believe it, but days later, you started to avoid me"

you looked at him, without saying a word. you got up from your seat "you know, i know you were stupid, but not to this extent. back then, i thought you knew me, but i just realised you didn't. at all. don't talk to me, pretend i don't exist. if you still are in contact with areum, i'd recommend to ask her about this"

you left, leaving with a loud bang.

"fuck her, fuck him, and fuck everyone"

---

minho didn't want to talk to areum about this. is not like he was still in contact with her, but there was a little friendship between the both of them. minho finally decided to call her.

"yes, minho? it's weird for you to call" she said

"hm... i wanted to ask you about y/n. i had a small argument with her today, about our past and-"

"lee minho! for how long are you going to be like this? this happened ages ago. she was a bitch to you. yes, you didn't find out in the best way, but you needed to know. i've been here since then, when are you gonna acknowledge me?"

she hung up. minho thought her reaction was weird, but well, she had always been like this.

---

for the next days, you ignored minho. if he waved at you, if he approached you, if he even sat near you... after his little confesion, you were beyond mad.

you told sook what happened, and even her thought that everything was messed up. you had cut ties with areum in your third year of high-school. she started spreading rumors about you, and you ended the friendship. but you didn't know or even think that she could have said something to minho.

truth is, when minho told you he was going to confess back then, your heart skipped a bit. areum never told you anything about it, and you didn't understand why she would say such things or even talk about them with other girls. and casualty, minho was passing by. there was no other option: she knew minho was passing by at the time.

as mad as you were, you wanted to clear up things with minho. your university life had been hell just because he decided to be stupid.

"doesn't matter how the conversation ends, it's the best you can do, y/n" sook told you

you didn't have minho's number, so you left a note in his locker, to meet you in one of the classes. of course, you didn't say in the note that it was you because you knew he wouldn't come then.

at five o'clock, you were waiting in the class. you decided to hide behind the open door. when minho entered, he saw no one. you then closed the door "sit there, we're gonna talk. i don't care if you don't, you'll hear me anyways" you locked the door and kept the key in your pockets.

he looked at you "i never knew that you were going to confess. never. i don't care what that areum bitch said. she must've know back then that you were passing by the bathrooms. i wasn't avoiding you, i actually went through something but it wasn't my intention to avoid you, sorry about that" you said all at once "you could've talk to me about it, stupid boy"

you were about to pick up your things and leave, but he held your wrist "i should be the one saying sorry. yesterday i called areum and she had a really weird reaction. that made me think that maybe you didn't know anything and she just played with my feeling as she pleased. i understand that you don't want to talk to me again, i just wanted to apologise"

you nodded at him "not everything's lost... maybe we can go step by step, if you want"

you left him in the classroom, thinking how he'd be able to repair the damages in your old friendship. he still liked you, and he really wanted you back.

---

minho made his mission to be friends, at least. you found him waiting for you in front of your classes, inviting you for lunch and even introducing his close friends to you.

"...so this is chan hyung, then there's changbin, hyunjin, jisung, felix, seungmin and our dear youngest, jeongin"

"nice to meet you all, i'm y/n, old friend of-"

"we know, we know" jisung said "he hasn't stopped talking about you since your small reconciliation, we know even your favourite color"

you blushed and looked at minho, who was sending glares to his friend while the rest laughed

"i have to get to know ya, then? it's only fair" you smiled

after a while, you knew what their majors were. chan, changbin and jisung were majoring in music production; felix and hyunjin were majoring in dancing, just like you and minho, but were a grade below you and minho. you remember seeing them. seungmin was majoring in veterinary medicine and jeongin in early childhood education; you all had lots of topics to talk about.

---

a few months passed, and your relationship with minho was only growing stronger. he had stopped being stupid and whatever happened in the past, you both decided to keep it there.

"do you wanna come over to my house?" he asked "we can order delivery, my treat, and watch a movie. you can also meet my cats"

he was fiddling with the ends of his shirt, so you knew he was nervous.

"is it a date?"

he looked at you "n-no. i mean, y-yes? if you want it to be?"

you laughed and held his hand, something you both liked to do even if you were just friends "i'd love that"

a few hours later, you were at his house, he told you to sit in the sofa, where his cats were. you ended up sitting on the floor not to bother his cats.

"what are you doing there?" he said

"i didn't want to bother them. they're sleeping so peacefully..." you said, smiling while looking at them.

minho swears in that moment his heart did a backflip and he stopped breathing for a second. he couldn't stop smiling at you.

"let's order?" he asked, and you nodded.

half an hour later, the food arrived and you decided to play a movie. you ended up watching one that minho chose. in the middle of the movie, you started to feel sleepy, so you put your head on his shoulder. feeling brave, he put your hair behind your ear and held your hand.

"are you tired? i can turn off the movie"

"hm. let's cuddle, i want to cuddle with you"

he wasn't someone that liked hugs, but hugging with you was something that he had been waiting for a long time to do.

after a while, he decided to speak, but you were first.

"i like you, minho. and i don't know if you like me back or not. but these past few months we've been doing this small acts, holding hands, cuddling, meeting up without the rest... i like being like this, cuddling with you and enjoy being like this. i really like you, no empty feelings"

minho stayed quiet and he felt like he was about to cry "i like you to, y/n, always have always will"

he put his hand on your cheek, and tilted his head so he could kiss you.

you felt something explode inside of you, it felt like you reached infinite happiness. you kissed him back, obviously, and started fidgeting with his hair.

"you're mine, and i'm yours"

you smiled "of course, baby"

---

[writers-block246]

Can I have a smut shot of kyoya tamaki hikaru and kaoru?? :3

Ahhh, my favorite boys. Yes, yes you can, anon :)

Tamaki Suoh

It was another Friday afternoon, meaning your boyfriend was still at Ouran Academy. He was hosting, as per usual, which left you waiting for him for hours. You practically flopped on the bed once you got back to Tamaki’s house, pulling out your laptop to watch Netflix to pass the time. You pick out a new movie called Only.

About an hour passes, and you hear a door squeak open from downstairs. Tamaki. You smiled to yourself, knowing your boyfriend would be up soon.

The bedroom door opened fairly quickly, your eyes darting to the handsome blonde in front of you. Although, he wasn’t being his usual cheerful and bubbly self.

“Hey, baby, how was your d—” you began to say softly, being cut off by Tamaki’s body colliding on your own. You wrap your arms around him as his head nuzzled into the space between your neck and left shoulder.

“Horrible,” he sighed solemnly. You ran your hands over his back.

“What happened?”

“Just… those shady twins,” he grumbled. “They embarrassed me in front of everyone today.”

“Aw, baby, I’m sorry,” you softly spoke. He then sat up, causing you to lean back against the headboard, “do you wanna talk about it?”

He shook his head.

“No, but thank you, my love.”

You two sat quietly for a few moments before a great idea popped into your head. You sat up slightly, putting your hand on Tamaki’s thigh.

“Why don’t I cheer you up?” you smirked as you saw Tamaki look down at your hand, a blush forming across his cheeks.

“I-uh—oh,” he stuttered as your hand moved up his leg and to his dress pants, your fingers toying with his belt.

“Shhh, baby... let me help you...”

“Um... oh, okay,” he mumbled.

Deciding not to tease him, you undid his belt and removed him from his pants. Taking him in your hand, you began to stroke his shaft. It wasn’t long before you felt him harden in your hand, making you smirk.

“Princess,” he groaned.

You gave him a coy look from underneath your lashes.

“Yes, daddy?” You questioned.

At that, his hips stuttered. You could tell his resolve was beginning to weaken. I just want him to relax, he’s had such a hard day.

“Fuck, tu es tout pour moi,” he groaned.

Oh, you thought. I have no idea what he’s saying, but it’s so sexy when he speaks French.

Giving a slight moan at the grumble of his voice, you began placing kittenish licks on his shaft. Teasingly, you ran your tongue along his ridge. Not long after, a hand found its way into your hair. Becoming impatient, Tamaki gave a gentle tug, encouraging you to take him into your mouth. Making eye contact with him once more, you take him all the way down to the base. From above you, you heard him release a deep groan.

“Fuck, my beautiful girl. Just like that.”

The rumble of his voice shot heat straight to your core. Filled with a new sense of determination, you began to bob your head up and down. His pleased whines and groans floating down to you did nothing but encourage you. You swirled your tongue around him, and, reflexively, his hips jerked. Tears welled in your eyes, and Tamaki began to panic. “I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to. Are you okay?” The worry in his voice made your heart melt. He is so sweet, you thought. Smiling at him comfortingly, you took him back into your mouth, sucking him with vigor. Soon, you felt him relax once more. It wasn’t long before the hand in your hair tightened, and you could tell he was nearing his release.

You doubled your efforts, desperate to make him come. He whined, muttering praises under his breath. His hips jerked, and you felt hot bursts of come fill your mouth. Swallowing, you rose on your knees to be face to face with Tamaki.

“How was that, daddy?” You asked coyly.

Panting, he gave a satisfied smile.

“Thank you, darling. I really needed that.”

“Of course baby,” you replied. “I hate seeing you upset.”

“Your turn?,” he questioned, looking a little hopeful.

You laughed. “No sweetheart, tonight was about you.”

He looked conflicted. “Are you sure, because I don’t mind, I swear. You know I love taking care of you.”

God, what a sweet boy. “Yes, I’m sure, honey,” you murmured with a lovesick smile.

He cupped your face and gave you a loving kiss.

“Je t'aime, angel,” he murmured with an adoring smile on his face.

Giggling, you replied: “Je t'aime, my prince.”

Kyoya Ootori

You sighed as you kicked off your heels at the door, it felt great to be home after a long night out with your friends, and now you just wanted to go to sleep with your loving boyfriend, Kyoya.

You quietly walk upstairs, just in case he is already asleep. Upon opening the door, you see the silhouette of Kyoya in front of the bright laptop screen.

“Goddamn it,” you heard him grumble under his breath, “how did he go over our budget again?”

Tamaki, you thought. You knew how reckless he could be with the Host Club’s money.

“Another budget issue?” You quietly asked, wrapping your arms across Kyoya’s shoulders.

He was still tense even at your touch.

“Yeah,” he muttered as his fingers were typing away at the keyboard, “the damn idiot went overboard yet again, and I’m the one who has to resolve the issue.”

“I mean, you could always sell more promotional items, right? I’m sure girls would love to pay for that.”

“Yes, but that means drawing money out of the school’s budget.

“Oh... right.”

He sighed out of frustration and slammed his laptop shut, turning his chair in order to look at you. You were still in your tight, low V-necked dress. He ran his hands down your sides until they landed on your waist.

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes? Where did you head off to?”

You blushed slightly. Kyoya didn’t normally show much affection, but when he did, it had a huge effect on you.

“Didn’t I tell you I went out with some friends? We went to this new club downtown to dance.”

He bit his lip, his grip on your waist tightening slightly as he guided you to sit on his lap, faces just inches apart.

“So, you’re telling me other people saw you like this? I thought that body was only to be shown off to me, Y/N...”

You blushed. “I’m sorry, sir.”

“Hmmm, I think it’s time I showed you who you belong to.”

His deep voice had your knees weakening.

“What, what do you mean, sir?” You nervously replied.

Instead of responding, you felt his large and warm hand settle on your upper thigh.

“O-oh,” you stuttered.

“Sh, baby. I’m taking what’s mine.”

His hand spread your legs and lifted up your dress. He teased your inner thighs with his fingers, and then began rubbing circles on your clothed pussy. You gave a low moan, and he chuckled in response.

“Please sir.”

“Please what, babygirl. Use your words,” he smirked.

You whined, “sir, please. I need more.”

“Need more what? Come on baby, you can do better than that.”

Your resolve faded away, and you moaned. “More of you, sir. Please, give me your fingers.”

Kyoya chuckled once more. “I guess that can be arranged, baby girl.”

His fingers moved up your thigh and pulled your panties aside. You whined and wriggled your hips, desperate for some pressure. He moaned at your eagerness, and finally gave in, running his fingers up and down your slit. You groaned and pushed yourself down against him. Sliding in a finger, he moaned at your wetness.

“Look at you, baby. So wet already. What would your friends think if they knew how much of a slut you are?”

You couldn’t help but moan at his words. His deep voice and dirty talk never failed to make you tremble. At your response, he began to finger you roughly in his frustration, causing you to cry out. You gripped the arms of the chair tightly, turning your knuckles white. He added another finger, and you moaned helplessly.

“That’s it, my little slut, moaning so prettily for me.” His voice had dropped an octave, and it made your thighs clench.

Determined to make you scream his name, he began to speed up his movements. You squealed in response, and pushed your hips down onto his hand. It wasn’t long before you felt yourself tighten around his fingers, and Kyoya gave a deep groan at the feeling.

“That’s it, baby. Come for me. Come for your daddy,” he murmured into your ear.

At his words, you gave one last loud moan and came, clenching his fingers tightly. As you came down from your high, Kyoya stroked you softly, helping you along.

When you finally came, you opened your eyes and met his beautiful ones. You cuddled into him, sighing softly.

“Oh, babygirl. Did you really think we were done?”

Hikaru Hitachiin

You had two hours before you had to pick up Hikaru, your boyfriend, from the airport. So, you decide to do what any normal girlfriend would do: send him some revealing pictures.

You quickly undress out of your T-shirt and sweatpants, and rush to your dresser. You pull out a red, lacy, strappy lingerie, which happened to be Hikaru’s favorite.

Once you put on some light makeup and do your hair, you pull out your phone to take a couple of photos. The picture you select to send to him, however, is a simple mirror shot  with your hand slightly in your underwear.

*Attachment: 1 Image*

You: I wish you were the one touching me ;)

About an hour passed, and by that time you had changed into proper clothes. You are walking out to your car when you hear your phone buzz.

Hikaru: Fucking hell Y/N, you better be ready for me.

You smirk, knowing you have him exactly where you want him.

You finally reach your destination, heading for the gate where his brother told you he would be. You sit down in a nearby row of chairs, browsing through your phone for a few minutes until a pair of feet come into your point of view. You look up to see none other than your boyfriend.

“Oh hey, babe, how was your flight?”

He looks flustered, a slight blush rising on his cheeks.

“My flight?!” He near-whispers, “we’ve got a bigger issue to worry about other than my flight!”

You chuckle, your eyes darting to his pants.

“Oh really? What is the bigger issue?”

He rolls his eyes before kneeling down to your level, whispering a little more quietly.

“Did you not see the issue? I had to take off my sweatshirt to cover myself during whole flight, and it was freezing on that plane!”

You look back down at your phone with a smirk on your face.

“Huh, I don’t know what you’re talking about,”

You say playfully.

He grabs your hand, quickly pulling you to your feet.

“Fine,” he starts pacing before he drags you along, “then I guess I have to show you what I’m talking about, yeah?”

You giggle as Hikaru mutters curses under his breath, looking around as if he was searching for some place to go.

“Finally! Christ!” he shouts, dragging you into a unisex bathroom and into one of the stalls.

A mischievous look settles on your face.

“Oh, Hikaru... a bathroom? We need to solve this issue in the bathroom?”  

He rolls his eyes.

“Yes, Y/N, you’re the one who caused the issue for me with that tease of a picture.”

“Uh huh,” you start, moving your hands to his waist as you toy with the elastic of his sweatpants, “I was only showing you how much I missed your touches, and now I want to pay that forward.”

One hand remains on Hikaru’s waist as the other makes its way to his face to cup his cheek. You pull him into a kiss, at which one point Hikaru nips your bottom lip in hopes for entrance. You happily oblige. Your left hand slowly makes its way under his sweatpants and into his boxers.

Taking him into your hand, you begin to expertly stroke his shaft, hearing him give a low moan at your motions. This encouraged you to speed up, making him putty in your hands.

After a few minutes, his groans grow louder and he begins to tense. Knowing he is about to come, you drop to your knees and take him into your mouth. With one last shout, he grabs your hair and comes into your mouth.

Swallowing, you look up at him. He gives you an amused glance.

“What? I was trying to contain the mess. We are in public after all.”

Kaoru Hitachiin

The bouncing of Kaoru’s leg definitely does not help him focus on the teacher in front of him. His mind is running a mile a minute due to the scandalous little rendezvous you and him shared last night. In fact, the memories are still clear in his mind as his fingers brush against his collarbone.

Flashback

“Hikaru,” Kaoru near-whispered, “keep still! I don’t want to fall!”

“I’m trying! Tell Y/N to hurry up and open the door, or else I’m gonna drop you. My shoulders can’t take this forever!”

Kaoru rolled his eyes as he hoisted himself up onto your balcony and peered into your room. You were brushing your hair when you suddenly saw your boyfriend’s reflection in your vanity’s mirror.

You rushed over to your sliding glass door, letting Kaoru in. You stifled a giggle as you two sat on the bed.

“Kaoru! When you texted me you were gonna come over, I didn’t think you actually meant it!”

“Well, I mean, your place is on the way,” he nervously replied.

You smiled at him adoringly. “The way? And where exactly were you headed at two in the morning?”

He gave an embarrassed cough, averting his eyes from yours. “I just really missed you, okay?”

You placed your hand on his, running your thumb back and forth across it.

“I missed you too, baby,” you murmured.

Kaoru’s cheeks tinted pink as he made eye contact with you once again. Your faces gradually moved closer, as if something was pushing you both.

Your lips finally interlocked, while Kaoru’s hands landed on your waist, pulling you closer. Your arms draped across his shoulders. Your tongue barely touched his bottom lip, begging for entrance, which you were granted. You felt Kaoru pull you close to his chest as he laid against the headboard. You giggled against his lips before you slowly pulled away.

He gave you a confused look, to which you replied with a smirk. Your lips went to the side of his neck, pressing soft kisses as you trailed down to his collarbone. Kaoru let out a hum, and you knew you found his sweet spot.

You took the skin in between your lips and gently sucked, hearing him softly moan at the touch. You took this opportunity to nip the area a couple of times, quickly running your tongue over it as your saliva relieved the pain.

End of Flashback

“Mr. Hitachiin, do we need to have a chat after class?”

Kaoru looks up and quickly shakes his head.

“No sir! All good here!”

3:00 comes quickly, and instead of heading to Music Room 3 as he normally does, Kaoru heads directly out of the doors of Ouran Academy.

The next thing he knows, he is at your front door, frantically knocking until you finally open it and let him inside.

“Kaoru? Aren’t you supposed to be—“

He cuts you off with his lips meeting yours, and almost immediately you feel his hands run through your hair. You feel him gently push you until your back is against the door.

“I’ve been thinking about this all day, sweetheart,” you hear him mumble under his breath. “I wanna try something if that’s okay with you?”

You quickly nod, knowing words would take too long to describe how much you want him.

And with that, Kaoru drops to his knees, giving you a smirk before lifting up your dress to your knees. You giggle softly as you feel his teeth pull at the elastic of your underwear, which slowly drop to your feet.

“You sure you’re okay with this Y/N?” You hear ask as his fingers begin to tease your inner thighs.

“Yes. Please, Kaoru. I need you.”

He doesn’t hesitate for much longer before his tongue licks a stripe up your pussy, making you shudder at his touch. He speeds up his movements as his fingers work circles on your clit, earning him a soft moan. This isn’t enough motivation for him though, so his tongue begins to fixate on your clit. His lips start to suck gently, and you can feel your orgasm coming quickly.

“K-Kaoru...I’m gonna...”

You hear him hum against your clit, the vibration shooting through you as your orgasm almost peaks.

You immediately hike up your dress with one hand, your eyes finally coming into view of the top of his head. The other hand gently grasps his auburn hair, to which Kaoru lets out a low moan. It isn’t long before you come, spilling your juices into Kaoru’s mouth. He looks up at you and licks his lips, but his face is quickly overtaken with a nervous look.

“D-did I do alright?”

You chuckle.

“Oh, you did more than alright.”

-Admin Maddie 

[hoebii]

The one with the snake

Pairing : Snake Hybrid!Kim Taehyung x CEO!Min Yoongi (MXM)

Genre : Fluff

Warning : Shitty customers, use of curse words, these two get it on at the end lmao 

Wc : 1961

Rating : PG13

A/N : Thank you @taegularities​ for being my beta ily. Hope you guys like this fic, if you have any idea/promt/req send ‘em my way~<3

-------------

Taehyung woke up to an empty bed, no sight of his boyfriend, and what made it worse was the fact that he’d had a nightmare. With the day already feeling like it was ruined, Taehyung left the bed and went to get ready. It seemed that life hated him though, of all the days, today had to be the day that the geyser had to break. 

After the insanely cold shower, Taehyung’s mood had worsened even more. Frowning, Taehyung walked to the kitchen after changing - where he couldn’t find his favourite jacket, so he had to wear a completely different outfit than he had planned originally - to find the toaster broken too. 

Taehyung groaned, throwing his head back in frustration. He grumbled as he walked to the fridge and opened it, annoyance rising even more when he found it empty, save for some coffee that he didn’t even like. Slamming it shut, he walked out of the kitchen and went to grab his things to leave for the day. He could get some food on the way or have Jin hyung make him some.

-----

Standing in the parking lot, Taehyung stared at his car, or well, the spot where his car was supposed to be but wasn’t. Mouth agape in shock, Taehyung slowly raised his phone to his mouth, “Hey Siri, call Min Dickin on speaker.” 

“Calling Min Dickin iPhone on speaker.” 

Taehyung stood there waiting for Yoongi to pick up, trying to figure out where his damn car went. “Hello?” A voice rang out from his phone. “Hey uh, where the hell is my car?” Taehyung asked.

“What do you mean where’s your car? It’s in the parking lot.” Trying to keep the creeping headache at bay, Taehyung rubbed his face, stress levels increasing with each passing second, “It’s not there, smartass.”

“What do you mean it’s not there?”

“What the fuck do you think it means?”

There was a pause after that in which none of them said anything, though Taehyung could hear muffled sounds of Yoongi moving around and talking to someone else. 

“Oh! Babe don’t worry, Namjoon took it to the repair shop apparently,” Yoongi spoke up after a while. Taehyung closed his eyes and took in a deep breath at that before saying in the sweetest voice he could muster, “Well then, baby. How am I supposed to get to work today?”

“....Ta..ke the bike?”

“Jungkook and Jimin crashed it last week, remember?”

“...I could send a car to pick you up?”

“Yoongi, your office is an hour away from here and I need to be there in,” Taehyung pulled his phone back to check the time, “7 minutes ago, great.”

“Call Jin hyung and let him know you’re gonna be late, I’m sure he’ll understand.” 

Before Taehyung could reply, however, his phone beeped once and then shut off. Taehyung tried turning it on, but the screen only displayed an empty battery symbol. He swore to himself as he glared down at the dead phone, he wanted to chuck that thing into the ocean.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, Taehyung walked out of the building to catch a bus and finally get to work. Jin was gonna have his head.

-------------

The first thing that Taehyung had heard when he stepped into the kitchen was Jin’s booming voice screaming at him. “Yah! You’re so lucky you have me as a boss! Not only am I the most handsome boss, I am also benevolent. This is the third time you came late for your shift, you’re lucky I don't just fire you sometime! I know not everyone can be perfect, but really.” 

See, if this had been any other day, Taehyung would’ve joked around and said something funny as a reply, but it wasn’t any other day. Taehyung wanted to cry from the headache and this did not help at all. Taehyung contemplated if he could run back home and burrow but decided against it. Life may be a bitch but it won’t make Taehyung it’s bitch today. 

Not saying anything besides whispering a soft sorry, Taehyung walked past Jin to the staff room to change into his uniform, leaving Jin shocked at the normally cheerful man’s somber mood. 

------------

The day felt as if it would never end. The headache that had never left Taehyung, rather it kept getting worse as time went by but he still pushed on. Jin had asked Taehyung what was wrong when he came out of the staff’s room, but Taehyung had brushed him off without a word earlier.

Now nearing the end of his shift, Taehyung was praying to any deity above to not make this day any worse. The day was already a bad one, from the way it started to how it kept progressing. Someone had spilled their food right in the middle of the restaurant and Taehyung had to clean it up - now that wouldn’t have been so bad if while doing so another colleague of his hadn’t bumped into him and spilled even more food on the floor for Taehyung to clean up. Taehyung could only give the other person a tight lipped smile. He was just one more incident away from screaming, life really was testing him today.

It was proved yet again that life hated him though, because just as he was about to leave to change, a lady had cornered him and demanded to speak to his manager. Taehyung had stared at her in bewilderment, not having noticed her approach him in the first place before he quickly put on his ‘I might seem like I’m extremely happy to serve you, but I’m dying inside’ smile, “Is there something wrong, ma’am?”

“I demand to talk to your manager!” the woman shouted, now starting to attract others’ attention. Tongue flicking out to lick his lips, Taehyung asked, “Ma’am, please calm down. I could try to assist you in any way I can?” 

It was clear this woman would not calm down from how she started shouting even louder. Taehyung scrambled to try calm her for the sake of other customers and his headache to no success. 

“What’s going on?” Jin strided out of the kitchen at the commotion. The woman whipped towards Jin before speed walking to him, making Jin step back slightly from how aggressively she approached him. “Are you the manager here?” she asked, well, more like demanded.

Jin raised one perfect eyebrow at her, “I’m the owner of this establishment, what’s the matter, ma’am?” 

“Your waiter here has been staring at me the wrong way for the last five minutes! Who even hires a snake? They’re evil!” 

Taehyung stared at the woman in incredulity. What was she on about? He hadn’t even seen her before she’d rudely approached him! He was literally staring off into space till the- oh. Did she think he was staring at her cause of that? Taehyung almost snorted at the thought of how conceited someone can be.

Jin stared at her with mild amusement, “He was what?”

“Staring at me the wrong way!” “So not only are you saying that one of my staff members is evil, but also that Kim Taehyung was staring at you the… wrong way?”

“Yes!”

Not being able to hold back anymore, Jin laughed out loud at the absurdity of the woman in front of him. This wasn’t anything new to Jin, these kinds of customers were more common than he would’ve liked to admit. But someone saying Taehyung, the guy who was so in love with his best friend that he wouldn’t spare anyone a glance was ‘staring the wrong way’ at someone, much less a lady, was simply too amusing.

Clearing his throat and composing himself, Jin spoke up, “Ma’am I can assure you our staff would never do that, much less him.”

“Yeah? Well he was! Fire him right this instant or I’m never coming back to this place!” the lady threatened.

Taehyung watched in fascination as Jin, unbothered as ever, pointed at the exit and asked her to ‘leave if you wish to’ without any hesitation, gaze hardening into a glare. The lady flushed in anger and roughly poked at Jin’s chest, exclaiming as she did so, “This isn’t over! I will sue you!” before turning and leaving the place.

The only running through Taehyung’s mind as he watched her leave was how much she reminded him of a chubby little elephant stomping away. He kinda felt bad comparing a magnificent creature like an elephant to whatever hell spawn she was though. “Sorry Hobi hyung, didn’t mean to compare her to you.” He had whispered to himself.

Taehyung waited for Jin to scold him or talk to him, but Jin had just winked at him before returning to the kitchen. He let out a breath of relief before he too left to go finally change out of his uniform and go home, low-key convinced someone had put a curse on him or something.

--------------

Yoongi left the office earlier than he usually would, one of the perks of being the CEO, after getting a call from Jin about Taehyung not feeling the best today. Yoongi had rushed out of his office as soon as it was 5pm to reach home and set about preparing Taehyung’s favourite food and taking out all of his favourite movies, so they could cuddle and watch them.

Yoongi was going to make this day better for Taehyung, no matter what!

-----------

It was 8pm, but there was still no sign of Taehyung; he should’ve been back by 7pm. Yoongi sat on the couch, trying to call Taehyung, but the call never went through.

Yoongi decided to wait five more minutes before he would go out to look for Taehyung. Meanwhile he would go reheat the food to make sure if Taehyung did return by then, he’d get warm food.

Yoongi was about to leave the house when a soaking wet Taehyung walked in. Yoongi gasped in shock and rushed to his side, “Oh my god what happened?! Why are you so wet? Are you okay?” 

Taehyung dropped his sopping jacket on the ground and pulled Yoongi in for a hug, hiding his face in Yoongi’s neck, grip tightening. Yoongi hugged Taehyung back, not caring about how he was getting wet, too concerned about the crying man in his arms. 

“Baby what happened?” Yoongi asked, running his hand through Taehyung’s hair to calm him down.

“Don’t wanna talk about it,” Taehyung's muffled reply came as he nuzzled closer to Yoongi, desperate for comfort.

Yoongi decided not to say anything, just let Taehyung get it all out. After a while Yoongi had finally decided to step away and send Taehyung away to go freshen up while he would get the food so they could eat it while watching movies. 

------------

Yoongi had just set down the food on the coffee table when he was suddenly grabbed and pulled into a kiss. Yoongi stiffened at first but soon melted into it, hands raising to trace the scattered patches of scales on Taehyung’s body, making him shiver. 

Still kissing, Taehyung started backing Yoongi till they reached the couch. Yoongi fell on the couch as Taehyung moved to straddle him. He groaned as he felt Taehyung’s forked tongue lick at his lips, asking for entrance. Parting his lips, the two battled for dominance, Taehyung winning at the end. 

After a while, Yoongi moved back to break the kiss - Taehyung chasing after his lips, not wanting to stop - while panting slightly, “W-what about the food?”

Taehyung smirked, his pupils contracting into slits and his fangs showing, “I wanna have dessert first.”

Well then, Yoongi couldn’t say no to that.

[jamestrmtx]

Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Twelve | Danger Mystery (Part 2 of 2)

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

To those who read the previous chapter part before I fixed an issue with it:

I forgot to change the title from Chapter Eleven | Premonition to Chapter Twelve | Danger Mystery (Part 1 of 2) when copy-pasting the header format, and didn't notice until an hour of posting.

Apologies for any confusion I might've caused with that!

• • •

"Cool braids," Jerry says, smiling at Frisk. "Did you make them yourself?"

The one questioned seems less than enthused by him, though there's no denying how their face lights up at the compliment. "Toriel made them for me," they sign, going back to their bored expression afterwards. Their attitude is distant and shows how they aren’t ready to confront the past yet. They stand up and look away from him, a frown etched deep in their expression all the while. "I have to finish my homework now."

"Bring it here." Jerry tries to be cheerful, but fails horribly, smile and tone both coming off forced and awkward as he tries to hype up the situation as best as he can. "I can help you!"

Though they try to hide it from everyone else in the room, Sans can see how Frisk rolls their eyes, pouts, and then mutters something under their breath. "It's fine. I don't need any help with what's left."

They almost mimic (Y/N) in character and tone, acting just as stern and cold, if not more with how hard it is for them to pretend the opposite.

"I'd still like to know how you're doing in school." Jerry's tone changes, paired up with his expression: eyebrows creased, eyes glaring, and smile gone. "You're... You're the only one left who can tell me how things are going lately, now that (Y/N) won't answer my messages anymore."

"Why don't you ask that guy, then? You're friends, as far as I know."

Their angry gaze points at Sans as they sign the words: "Why are you friends with him?" with the most annoyed gestures possible, and quick enough for Jerry not to notice what they're doing or saying. Then, they look at their father again, seemingly running thin and out of patience with the way they look at him, a look so frigid it could put an ice skating rink to shame. "You haven't answered my question yet."

"Believe me, Frisk." Jerry huffs. "I've tried, but he refuses to tell me anything -- says it's not in his place to tell me about you and all that stuff."

"Cool," is Frisk's only reaction as they spare a look at their surroundings. "It's better that way."

The child sighs and walks away, not once looking back -- and not even as their father calls out for them by their full name.

"Come back here," he demands, standing up and glaring at the hallway Frisk passes through. "Or I'll have to ask why you've got such awful manners today. What's (Y/N) been teaching you these days, huh? You've never been like this before!"

"People change," they snap, stopping for a second to look at him. "So…" Their voice trembles as they take a second to ball their hands and direct their angry look at the floor. "So stop blaming (mom/dad) for everything, if you really want to talk to me."

They're gone for good after that, giving Jerry no chance to talk or ask questions any longer.

He's left fuming, and when he catches Sans's gaze, his anger augments.

"What the hell have you taught Frisk since I was gone? They- They were never like this with me before!”

"Never?" Sans asks, facing up at Jerry when he joins his side. "Hadn't you seen them since last Christmas before today? Ten months are enough for someone to grow and change."

"That's still too big of a change." He scoffs. "Now tell me what you did -- I deserve that much, at least."

"Nothin'." He pauses, shrugging to ignore the glare Jerry continues to direct at him. "We've been here for only two months -- three, at most. You've been gone ten."

Appearing caught in a dead-end, he sees Jerry's eyes wander from Toriel preparing some documents and Papyrus helping her out, to the hallway Frisk had walked through, and -- finally -- to the kitchen, where the clinking of cutlery’s heard as (Y/N) sets up the dinner table, while Undyne keeps an eye out for the stove and Alphys holds out a fire extinguisher near the scene. Sans has a hunch as to what Jerry's planning simply by the dour look on his face alone, so he holds the man back by the arm, saying, "Don't bring 'em into this." He's faced with a sharper glare, though he doesn't brush his hand away. "The kid's mad at you by default. Nobody else's told 'em to treat you that way."

"And how would you know?" Jerry shoves him off. "You're just some guy with a crush on someone else's spouse!"

"Ex-spouse." Sans sneers. "They aren't tied to you anymore."

"But they still have a kid to be responsible for."

"So do you."

Jerry tries to say something back, yet he falls short and stutters before giving up. "I- I'm gonna go help them out, then."

He sees the man look back to the kitchen again, longing visible in his eyes. 

"Knock yourself out, bud. Just don't go pressurin' 'em too much." The two spare a look at each other, a silent battle forming in Jerry's gaze while the monster remains stern but nonchalant. "You know what happened back at that bus. They need their time to rest."

A more empathic look softens up Jerry's visage as he nods, finally cracking a smile with it. "I know." He sighs. "But I have no clue how I didn't notice it was them you liked with how many damn comments there were about it on those videos."

"That's 'cuz we were barely gettin' to know each other back then." His confession's abrupt and appears to catch Jerry by surprise. "Wasn't until some time later that I realized what I was feelin' whenever they were around."

Jerry keeps quiet for what has to be a solid minute; it's a miracle based on how much he's wanted to communicate today, and in so short of a time. He sighs and his glare fades. A more serene look replaces his anger as he then relaxes his posture, completing a calmer self, much more refreshing to see in comparison to his previous attitude. "I promise I won't bother them too much today, but I still need to talk."

"Today only?" Sans remarks, quirking an eye socket. "So you're goin' back to zero after that?"

"Don't be stupid. I just mean I won't be as persistent today -- I know they need to rest."

The monster decides to let it go, aware he's going nowhere with how much more obstinate Jerry is. 

He sees him enter the kitchen and immediately seek after their ex, an attitude that makes him appear similar to that of a rambunctious puppy still looking for attention even after being told to back off. Sans chuckles at that thought and shakes his head, surprising even himself with how much he's becoming concerned with matters that weren't exactly his own. It’s knowing (Y/N) was tied to the situation along with Frisk what makes him want to try and intervene a bit more, though he knows better than that, taking into account how strained his relationship with the both of them still is. It's a miracle he even managed to befriend Jerry with how obnoxious and insistent he could be at certain times -- even more than Sans was himself.

...Was that why (Y/N) hadn't outright rejected him yet?

Did he resemble Jerry in attitude, somewhat?

Sans brushes that thought aside and proceeds to walk off to the hallway; the faint sounds of someone crying are heard nearby, prompting him to search for who it is.

He passes by a bedroom, a mini office, then a bathroom, until reaching the middle of the hallway. The person's crying sounds louder when he reaches Toriel's bedroom, though based on how young the voice is and that Toriel's still working with some documents back in the living room, he discards her as a possibility. He hears a few sniffles before the crying controls itself a bit more, making it seem as if the one behind that door heard his footsteps and chose not to be found out. Still, they carry on crying after some time, sniffles changing into sobs and sobs changing into loud and shuddering hiccups.

"...Frisk?" he calls out, knocking on the door twice.

The crying stops almost abruptly.

"Who's there?" they ask.

Weren't this such a pressing situation, he wouldn't hesitate so much in responding as he usually did to that type of question. He sighs and rests a hand against the door, drumming his fingers until he replies with, "Sans."

"...Sans who?"

"Sans ta permission, je ne peux pas passer."

He can't avoid the chuckle that follows when he hears them huff -- dramatically so. Soft footsteps and a click are the two sounds that lead before the door opens, revealing a tired Frisk with puffy, red eyes and an equally reddish, runny nose. Their hair's a messy bob, and the hair ties and ribbons Toriel used to keep the braids in place are no longer being worn.

"What do you want?"

"I wanna talk."

"No."

They almost shut the door right on his face, though he backs away on time, and -- as if seeming to trigger an unlisted superpower in (Y/N) -- they appear behind him, nearly giving him a soul attack.

"What's wrong?" they ask, peering over his shoulder. It's an evident, purposeful act on their part to tease him further and pay back at him, as they're already aware of how far his crush on them's gone. Still, they know their personal space and step back after that, leading him to turn his back on the door and face them instead. "...Was that Frisk? Wh- Why are they crying? And why are their braids gone? I swear if Jerry did something I-"

"He didn't say anything about that," Sans intervenes, calming them down by pulling them along with him next to the door and lowering his voice for only them to hear. "He, uh... tried to talk with Frisk, but they're still angry at him -- understandably. But they still don't wanna talk about it."

"Let me try, then," they say, sighing. "I think it's about time they told me at least something about what's bothering them -- Not just hide away like this every chance they get."

"So they always do that?"

They nod. "Whenever I try to talk about Jerry, mostly.” A subtle scowl accompanies the frustration in their tone. “But when it's about them telling me what happened to them at the Underground, they ignore my question by doing pretty much anything else that doesn't have to do with that." A tremble shows in their body as they take a second to breathe. "But today needs to be a different story -- They can’t keep running from this."

"No!"

Sans sees (Y/N)'s patience fade from their eyes at that sound, somewhat muffled by the door, but still an evident shout from Frisk.

"Sans is friends with Jerry, and- And now you're talking with him like that means nothing to you!"

The human narrows their eyes at the door as they stand in front of it. "Sans and Jerry being friends has nothing to do with any of this." They huff. "Did you really think they would be enemies right from the start?"

"Yes! Just like how Prince Charmin Ultra Strong gets defeated by Shrenk!"

Surprisingly, they don't get any angrier and -- on the contrary -- smile at that comparison. They bite their lip to hold it back, though they still fail when they reply with, "Does that suggest Jerry's mom is gonna be a bigger villain later?"

Some silence passes. "I mean, yeah. Don't you remember how sad and angry she was when Jerry tried proposing again, but then you rejected him?"

At that, the monster's grin shows up and he finds himself blurting out, "He tried it again?"

"Yes." The moment they spare to answer his question ends as they look back at the door and say, "Of course, I remember, but you still shouldn't have those expectations, dear. This isn't a good versus evil situation -- There's a lot more to it than that." They bump their forehead against the door, seemingly giving up their strong and stern facade as they press their lips tight and try to suck up some sadness by sniffling and looking at the floor. "You- You must've realized that, too, right? Some of your new friends hurt you at one point, didn't they? And then you still try to defend me despite all the bad choices I've made in the past. I… I know Jerry screwed up-"

"-a lot," they interrupt, making (Y/N) sigh.

"-but that still doesn't mean you should compare like that."

"But what if he's a villain in my eyes, (mom/dad)?" they ask, though it's more of a statement than the former. "The only good thing he's done today is compliment my hair -- That's it! And I'm pretty sure you haven't even used any of that support money he gives you, so it's not like we really owe him anything, either."

"How do you know that?"

"I'm not dumb. That's the reason why you worked so much in the past, isn't it? You... You just sent that child support money back to him, and kept some only for emergencies."

"That-"

"You tell me not to see him as a bad guy, but you still do that by refusing any help and doing everything by yourself."

"That still doesn't mean you'll owe him any of those funds, dear. In the end, we chose to (have/adopt) you, so you'll never owe us any of that money we provide for raising you."

"So why did you reject his part of the responsibility, then?"

The kid could be a lawyer with how quickly that question corners (Y/N) in place. Their once firm, narrowed eyes turn wide and a guilty look makes their forehead wrinkle and mouth form a grimace. They don't say anything as they reach out for the doorknob and try to turn it around. "Open the door. We can't keep talking like this."

"Answer my question first," Frisk says, voice faltering midway. "Please?"

(Y/N) gives in with an exhale, chest shuddering in the process. "I…” They clench their hand and hesitate. “I didn't want to owe him anything." They rest their forehead against the door again, looking more defeated than before when they close their eyes and fight their frown away. "That's why."

Quiet remains after their response.

The door doesn't click or budge, signaling for the one waiting outside to give up for now. They walk back to the monster's side and sit on the floor; their gaze looks left and right, observing the hallway with a distinctive boredom only sadness can bring upon someone. They're almost a mirror of Frisk back when he caught the two of them dancing: knees pressed right to their chest as they hug themselves tight.

Though it takes him a while to do anything, Sans soon settles on the thought that doing something is much better than nothing right now, so he tries to accompany them by the floor. He sits next to them and offers a literal shoulder for them to lay on, the softness of his jacket helping numb the hardness of his bones. They rest their head there and close their eyes, breaths steadying the longer they stay that way. "You kinda smell like Old Spicy," they comment, chuckling. "Like my aunt's new boyfriend’s cologne." They sniff a few times and scooch a bit closer to his side. "...Sorry. That was weird."

He laughs. "Guess I'll have to try a different kind next ti-"

Click.

Followed by the door being unlocked is Frisk opening it and leaving the room. They then look at him and (Y/N) with the most appalled expression possible, similar to a scrungy cat. "You two are mushier than a bag of marshmallows left under the sun.”

Saying that, they turn around and take their leave, adding, “I’m gonna go talk with Jerry now,” before their other parent can say anything as an objection.

“Still not gonna call him dad?” they ask, though it comes off more teasing than demanding.

“Not until he earns it.” Frisk looks at the skeleton with sharp, judging eyes. “Because right now, even Skeletor’s brother is a better candidate for that.”

They’re gone in a flash after that comment, leaving Sans to process the heavy weight of those words and for the human next to him to stand up, gape, and look to where their child ran off to.

“W- Watch your words Frisk (L/N),” they shout at the empty hallway, voice masking their embarrassment by being loud. "You're on thin ice!"

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[star-spangled-steve]

His New Partner

Chapter 41: The Bargaining

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: 2736

Warnings: Mentions of sex, mentions of the Reader’s period, fluff, light angst, grieving, light cussing.

A/N: Not much to say this time, just thank you to everyone who’s waited patiently for these updates!

The passage of time has always been a funny thing. Some moments, usually the ones that you want to last, go by so quickly. One moment you’re falling into the arms of the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, the next he’s asking you out, and the next you’re getting married. Though other moments, usually the ones that you want to pass as quickly as possible, tend to linger. Dreadfully. Like the time when your son gets turned into ashes, or when you find out that there’s no hope of getting him back. Those moments are the worst.

It had been a little over three years since the snap. Two years since Steve and Y/N had decided to get a house away from the Compound. One year since the woman had found her husband brutally hitting his punching bag after having a nightmare about Thanos; though, that had definitely happened more than once. The time was going by slowly, that was for sure. But they were handling it. As best as they could, at least.

Tonight was the night of their Sixth Wedding Anniversary; September 12th, 2021. It seemed like just yesterday they were in 2015, reciting their vows and saying their ‘I Dos’ in front of all their friends and family. Though at the same time, it had felt like a million years ago.

“After you, m’lady.” Steve playfully spoke as he opened up the front door to their home, allowing Y/N to walk in ahead of him.

“Why thank you, kind sir.” She quipped back, grinning at his cheesiness as she walked inside.

The couple had spent the night at a high-class restaurant in the city, luckily not disturbed by any fans or paparazzi. Y/N had worn a stunning lavender coloured dress and Steve wore a stylish navy blue suit. They had looked like they were straight out of a fairytale. And for one of the first nights in a while, they had felt like they were straight out of a fairytale too.

Everything had gone perfectly, from the food, to the gifts, to the smooth ride home, and their night was only getting started.

“Stevie!” The young woman squealed out, covering her backside with her hand. Just upon entering the threshold, her husband had sent a teasing smack to her butt, and she couldn’t help but giggle. “What was that for?”

“Are you kidding?” The man smirked. “I’ve been waiting to do that all night.” He watched as his wife blushed and wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her close to his chest. “That dress just hugs your ass so perfe-”

“Uh... language.” Y/N interrupted him with a grin.

Steve shook his head and couldn’t help but chuckle. “Oh you little...” Within a second he had spun them around and pinned her against the door, looking down at her with a certain desire in his eyes. “What game are you trying to play here tonight, babydoll?”

The woman instantly sighed, beginning to frown a little. “Unfortunately, none.” She rested her head against the door, looking annoyed as ever. “I started my period today.”

The man’s face instantly fell, and he let out a loud groan. “Seriously?” His wife nodded and he pointed a stern finger down at her nether regions. “You need to stop coming at the worst of times.” He chastised, making Y/N laugh.

“Believe me, honey, I’ve been telling it that for many years.”

Steve took a couple steps back, finding no use in keeping her pressed against the door if it was going to go nowhere. He noticed that his wife looked slightly guilty.

“I’m sorry that I ruined the mood.” She spoke disappointedly.

“No, no, no.” The man shook his head, taking her hand in his own and leading her farther into their house. “You did no such thing. It’s not like you can control your cycle.”

“I guess.” Y/N said, taking off the high-heel shoes that were just killing her feet by this time of night. “So what do you wanna’ do now?”

“I’ll tell you what,” Steve began, “you go upstairs, change into something more comfortable, and I’ll set us up some blankets outside. We can lay back and watch the sunset together. How does that sound?” He proposed, seeing a large smile start to form on his girl’s beautiful face.

“That sounds awesome, Stevie.” She stepped on her tippy toes to press a soft kiss to his lips before heading up the stairs, her husband staring at her form as she ascended and feeling like the luckiest man in the world.

Y/N took off her bodycon dress and replaced it for a pair of comfy pink pyjamas, taking off her makeup and putting her hair up in a high ponytail. Though after she put her shawl and stilettos away in the closet of their bedroom, her eyes fell upon a box that she and Steve could have a lot of fun looking through tonight.

*****

“Now what do you got there, sweetheart?” Her husband, now stripped of his suit jacket and tie, asked her as soon as she walked outside on the pool deck.

He had made their backyard up quite nicely, multiple layers of blankets on the grass and a couple throw pillows to accompany. There was also a couple bowls of Y/N’s favourite snacks, and the woman felt so grateful that he had put this together for her so quickly.

“Steve, this looks great.” She practically melted, heading down the stairs until she could reach him, bare feet on the grass. She put the box down next to the blankets before giving him a big hug, pressing a couple kisses to his clothed chest. “You always spoil me on our anniversary. Actually, you spoil me every day.”

Steve grinned, resting his chin on her head, stroking up and down her back. “Don’t give me too much credit. I just like making you happy.” He felt her nuzzle her head even further into his embrace, and his heart swelled with love. “So what’s in the box?” He asked again, realizing that she still hadn’t given him an answer.

Y/N separated from his embrace, going over to the box and taking the lid off. “See for yourself.” She stated before sitting down on the blankets, making herself comfortable.

Steve picked up the box and sat down next to her, placing it in between them and looking inside. “Our scrapbooks!” He exclaimed.

“Yup!” The woman grinned. “I figured we could look through these together. I don’t know, it’s kinda’ fun.”

“Absolutely.” Her husband chuckled before pulling one of the four out of the box.

“Our wedding!” Y/N cheered. “Oh, I love this one. So beautiful.” She marvelled, running her fingers down the silky white cover.

“I know.” Steve agreed. He moved the box out of the way so that they could snuggle closer, wrapping his arm around her waist.

She opened the book and they began flipping through, reminiscing about how wonderful that night was.

“Tony.” Y/N snorted, pointing to the picture of Stark holding her lacy white thigh garter. They had played the wedding game where the groom takes off the brides garter with his teeth in front of everybody, before throwing it into the crowd of unmarried men to indicate who would next be married. And well, Tony was the lucky guy who had caught it. “He started freaking out. Remember? Funny because he’s happily married now.”

Steve chuckled at the memory. “Didn’t you take it back from him and put it back on, though?”

“Yeah.” Y/N spoke sheepishly. “I wanted to keep it as a memory. And he was being weird with it anyways.”

What they saw on the next page made the both of them audibly laugh out loud, looking at a funny picture of Thor with cake all around his mouth.

“He ate like four pieces of that cake!” The woman giggled, remembering just how loud the burp he had let out was.

“Actually it was five.” Her husband corrected, making her laugh even harder. Steve enjoyed watching her be so carefree like this. It was rare for her these days.

The couple had continued to flip through their wedding book for a while, looking back at memories such as Sam’s Best Man speech, Natasha’s Maid of Honour speech, their delicious menu, and the many pictures of them dancing the night away.

Soon they had moved on to a couple other books, such as their honeymoon photos one and the one filled with a whole bunch of photos from when they were dating. There was another scrapbook inside the house, the A.J. scrapbook, but Y/N hadn’t looked at it in years. She just couldn’t bring herself to.

The books were beautifully made by a woman Y/N had hired, knowing that she could probably never put together something that crafty on her own. She had only made one of them; the one that she had given Steve for the Two Year Anniversary of them dating, the same night that he had proposed. It looked nowhere near as professional as the others, but just knowing that it was his precious wife who had put it together made it Steve’s favourite one.

It was the last one in the box, and the man had just pulled it out.

“Look at this one.” He whistled and Y/N blushed, seeing her own artwork.

“I haven’t seen this in forever.” She stated, running her fingers over the title ‘Steve Rogers’ Memories’.

Steve smirked. “I have.”

“You have?”

He nodded. “I look at this one all the time.” He placed the book in her lap, opening up the cover. “I might have even added a few things.”

Y/N raised her eyebrows. “Really?”

Her husband just nudged his chin towards the book, urging her to keep flipping.

She made her way through many pages, looking at all of the adorable pictures of Steve from when he was growing up. It wasn’t until she got to the last quarter of the book when she stopped flipping, looking up at her man lovingly. “These weren’t here before.” She softly pointed out, referring to the several photos of Steve and herself that lined the pages.

“I added them.” He told her, fondly staring at the pictures of them together. “The book is called ‘Steve Rogers’ Memories’. You think that you, the most important aspect of my life, wouldn’t be in there?”

The woman gulped, giving him a teary-eyed smile. “Aww, Stevie.”

“You’re crying?” He chuckled, bringing a hand up to her face to cradle it.

She shrugged, letting out a little laugh of her own. “Hormones.”

Steve placed a chaste peck on her lips, followed by another and another before pulling away. “You’re so cute.”

They turned back to the book and looked through all of the things that he had added, astonished at how quickly a lot of that time had gone by.

It was then, in that intimate, sunset-filled moment when Y/N realized something. So many of the photos in that album had been taken over 80 years ago. Taken in a time where Steve never even expected to see the twenty-first century, being so sickly and all. Taken in a time where the heroes and villains of today were things that couldn’t even have been dreamed of. It made her realize that truly, anything could happen in their future. Even the wildest of things could be possible.

“Steve.” She spoke in a sudden serious tone, making his ears perk up.

“Yeah? What’s wrong?”

The woman closed the scrapbook, placing it back in the box with the others. “I just had a thought. Don’t call me crazy, but-”

��I would never call you crazy.” The man told her, causing her to peer up at him.

She took a deep breath. “Okay, uhm, I know that we’ve discussed how... uh, A.J. isn’t going to be coming back.”

He nodded his head. “Yeah.”

“But listen, just hear me out. I think there’s still hope.”

Steve sighed. “Sweetie,” he took her hands in his own, “please don’t do this to yourself again.”

“I’m serious.” Y/N insisted. “Just think about it. Think about... everything that’s ever happened to you. Everything in our lives, your life especially, has been a series of almost impossible events falling into place.”

“Y/N-”

“You waking up after everybody thought that you had died. You surviving the Battle of New York; meeting me in the Battle of New York. Winning the Battle of Washington, D.C., the Battle of Sokovia. Both of us surviving the snap.” She listed on and on, the words coming out of her mouth before her brain could even catch up. “It all seems like it would be impossible, but it happened.”

The man sighed again. “N/N, a lot of that is the result of me having the super soldier serum.”

“Once again!” She exclaimed. “The fact that you were the one he chose for the serum… it all led to here.” The woman took a shaky breath, trying to make him see where she was coming from. “If you compare it to everything else, A.J. coming back doesn’t seem too crazy.”

Steve internally began to worry. He hated seeing her give herself false hope like this. “Baby,” he began, “not that you don’t have a point, because you do, but I think that you should try and stop thinking that way. I don’t want you to get your hopes up for nothing, sweetheart.”

“But what if it’s not for nothing? What if-”

“That’s exactly what you shouldn’t be thinking. ‘What if’ is only going to take you so far. ‘What if’ very rarely becomes a reality.” He watched as her shoulders slumped and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. “I love your optimistic way of thinking. One of my favourite things about you is how you’re like a little ray of sunshine. But Y/N, you’re bargaining with yourself right now. And I’d hate to see you get even more hurt in the end.”

His wife let out a small sigh, beginning to tear up again. “Shit. You’re right.” She hung her head, avoiding eye contact. “I’m sorry for bringing all this up. I sound like a lunatic and I ruined the mood again.”

The man shook his head. “No you don’t and no you didn’t. Remember what you told me? It’s healthy to express your emotions.”

Y/N shrugged. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.”

“Hey, look at me.” Steve instructed, smiling when she looked up at him hesitantly. “This is the most important thing that you have to remember: no matter what, if he does come back somehow or he doesn’t, we will be okay. You will be okay. I know how hard it is, but life will continue on and you will find other things to be happy about. Alright?”

She nodded her head. “Alright. You’re right, once again.” She shifted so that she was straddling his lap and gave him a big hug, tucking her face in his shoulder. “Thank you, Stevie. You always make me feel better.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” He quipped, running his hands up and down her back comfortingly. “You always make me feel better too.” Steve felt her smile into the crook of his neck and grinned to himself. “I love you, baby girl.”

Y/N hugged him even tighter, not wanting to let go. “I love you too.”

The man laid them down so that she was still straddling him, wrapped around him like a koala bear. They stayed like that until she fell asleep and then he carried her upstairs, tucking her in their bed before going back outside to clean up.

Later, as he was putting the scrapbook box back in their closet, he turned around to his sleeping wife and thought to himself about how beautiful she was. And then, for the tenth time that day and the millionth time since he’d met her, Steve looked up at the ceiling, thanking whatever God or Gods were up there for giving him the gift that was Y/N.

They had been through a lot in all of the years that they had known each other, and the man was certain of one thing. Whatever they went through in the future, they would always have each other’s backs, and they would always come out of it stronger than they were before. He would make sure of it.

Next Chapter

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[canumoveurseatup-no]

dark room

summary: grow through what you go through.

(please read warnings and author’s note before continuing to read)

wc: 10.5k

pairings: dad!sam x black!reader

warnings: this gets real okay... it contains drug use, alcohol abuse, mental illness, parental abuse, mentions of suicide- it’s dark, it’s raw, it’s real so please read with caution. reader has fluid sexuality, light smut

a/n: my 20th birthday passed months ago (this was supposed to be out on my birthday, back in august) and i know that doesn’t seem like a big deal to other people but it’s a big deal to me, especially coming from someone who has tried to end their lives multiple times, someone who had battled mental illness for years, someone who used substances to numb any sort of pain. It’s been a long time coming. And I’m still fighting every single day but I am here so this is mainly for me but also for anyone who is struggling with anything in their lives. Keep. Pushing.

———————

You wanted to feel like you were dancing on the ceiling. You wanted to do your own little lonely dance like no one was watching. The room was hot, the smell stale, hair sticking to your forehead, nothing was real. You were a mere atom prancing across a screen of color. You didn’t notice the phones out recording you while you experienced one of the best trips of your life. They weren’t making fun of you, they were cheering you on but their cheers fell on deaf ears as it felt like you had cotton stuffed in your own.

You fell in a chair, seeing various pills splayed out on the table. So many to choose from, they were so pretty but then the sight of little white lines caught your attention, you weighed your options. You had enough nose candy before you even got here. You pre-gamed so hard you came to the party two hours late from falling out.

You wanted to touch the ends of the universe so you snatched another tab off the table and pressed it on your tongue like a fruit roll up with tongue tattoos on it. The dancing bodies in front of you distorted as you grabbed a heavy liquor bottle and stumbled from standing up too fast... or maybe it was the drugs? You felt your face smile and your body go numb as you fell back on a bunch of clouds.

You found a guy eyeing you from the other side of the room or at least it seemed like it, his face was an absolute blur. But soon he was right in front of you and you could see specs of yellow in his brown irises. They were almost like sunflowers.

“Wanna have a good time?,” he opens the palm of his hands and you see a pretty blue pill.

“What’s it do?,” you don’t notice the slurring, you don’t notice the left side of your body going numb... you stopped breathing for a minute and as fearsome as it sounds... you welcomed it. It’s all you’ve been craving since you were nine years old... to just. stop. breathing. But your chest opened up again, hugging the air tight in its lungs to keep your body alive.

“However you’re feeling now? Multiply that times ten... it makes you feel like your third eye is opening. You can taste colors, see tastes... it’s unreal,”

“How much for it?,” the words flew past your lips faster than your mind could understand.

“It’s on me,”

—————

You don’t remember how you made it home, maybe you walked again- maybe you made the right choice and called an Uber.

You only remember mumbling a “bye, daddy” to the guy who gave you the blue pill, sending you off with more for the future. You felt like God was holding you in his hands and blessing you with the best life right now.

You weren’t aware of your little brother’s door being cracked open and him waiting up for you as you tried to quietly get to the bathroom.

“Oops,” you laughed to yourself. It was a sight your little brother saw often- you didn’t know that, your dad didn’t know that. Keith never knew how to tell anyone he was worried for his sister. He was 12- he didn’t know what was wrong with you. But he didn’t hesitate to scream when he found you in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet with throw up all over yourself.

“Y/N!!,” he tried to shake you awake but your eyes were dull and half lidded, “Y/N stop! Wake up, wake up, wake up!!,” he even slapped you. Nothing worked.

“Dad!! Daaaaddd!,” Keith ran down the hallway to your dad’s room. Sam woke in a frenzy and looked at Keith with worry

“Something’s wrong with Y/N! She won’t wake up!,” the 12 year old sobbed and Sam booked it out of his room to find your body limp on the toilet. Underwear mid thigh, as if you passed out while trying to pull them down to pee. Throw up all in your lap, body dripping with cold sweat.

“Keith, Call 911!”

—————

He always watched you now... he always had appointments set up at the doctors to test your urine but it didn’t stop you from using. There were always ways around passing drug tests. Often times you’d ask a friend to pee in a cup then pour it in a ziploc baggie and hide it in your sports bra to keep it warmed up. You knew how to beat the system.

Pour a little in the toilet so it makes it look like you peed, they always check afterwards. Then pour it in the cup to the line they mark. You ‘pass’ each time.

“You’re coming on the trip,”

“I’ve earned your trust,” your mouth felt dry, the edible you took before 6th period still hasn’t worn off yet and you were trying to keep calm- there’s no way he was going to ruin your high.

“You’ve earned yourself suicide watch and consistent drug tests. My trust for you disappeared when I found you damn near dead and had to watch them hook you up to machines and put you on temporary dialysis amongst other things to save your life,”

He was still bitter. It happened a month ago. He should be over it, you were.

“Fuck you, Dad,” you stormed off to your room and slammed the door

“Don’t you talk to me like that in my house!,” he yelled from the other side of your door. He should have taken it off the hinges like he planned.

You didn’t want to go on some stupid resort. Something about channeling your inner peace and looking at the bigger picture. Everyone was going, even his old team members, a family you didn’t feel a part of, he thought it’d be a good idea to surround yourself with good company.

You scream out and begin throwing clothes into a bag knowing he wasn’t letting up.

You see the glimmer of a small plastic baggy under your mattress and pull it out, seeing an array of candy. Maybe you could survive this trip?

You stuff the baggy in a pair of socks and smile, hoping to get a sense of familiarity.

You were gonna survive this trip.

—————

You shouldn’t have worn shorts today. That stupid health class intern saw the marks on your thigh and told the school nurse and now your found yourself in the car with your dad yelling at you.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Do you not realize you have a main artery in your thigh! Had you gone deep enough you would have been gone, Y/N! What the fuck is wrong with you,”

You figured if a parent found their 11 year old was cutting themselves they’d do something other than yell... they’d do something other than tell the entire family and have them call at you just to yell at you as well.

“Nothing in life is that bad for you to do that to yourself!!,”

“That’s stupid, Y/N! Who in their right mind would do that to themselves?!,”

You heard it all. You cried when you got home, and hugged your little brother, not knowing if you’d ever get the chance to again because you were on the verge of ending it all. 11 years old... wanting to end it... you weren’t sure what was wrong with you. You just woke up every day hating yourself, woke up everyday wondering what life would be like for your family had you not been born.

Your older sister didn’t know how to help.. and your little brother was sure he was going to lose his sister.

You believed you were a by-product of a bad relationship. So your self-hatred started young. Watching your parents argue everyday- watching your mom cry because your dad kicked all of you out on Christmas Eve and you had to stay with your grandparents... watching the ugly divorce and how he became an alcoholic and she became emotionally unavailable.. even having to talk to the cops because your dad left bruises on your legs, from beating you because you were calling out for him due to being afraid to sleep in your own room when you usually sleep in his...

But he had a lady friend over that night....

The meds the psychiatrist put you on gave you chest pains... you went from using a pair scissors to hurt yourself to watching YouTube videos on how to get a blade out of a shaving razor. You skipped meals just to be a little skinnier like everyone else in your family.

You wrote notes.. you wore black sweatshirts, even in the prime of summer, to cover your arms when you ran out of space on your thighs and ankles and hips. You were a mess and no one came close to understanding. You don’t know how or why you turned out this way.

You felt like your mom hated you, you felt like your dad wasn’t your dad, like he was just there... you were stuck in a place where you felt like you didn’t belong and it made your heart skip beats. It had you crying almost every night.

And everyday you struggled. Waiting for the day that you snap and off yourself.

————-

“Y/N! Y/N!,” you felt your sister, Savannah, nudge you in your rib cage, “Uncle Buck was talking to you, snap out of it,”

You felt everyone hug you and it felt unfamiliar. You felt out of place. All these bright green trees looked fake- the air was too clean- the water in the cups too pure.

You craved to be surrounded by drugged, dancing bodies, feeling the beat of the music vibrating every single nerve in your body. You wanted to feel like you were on the edge of death just to feel alive. You wanted to be surrounded by guys and girls who gave you the slightest bit of attention and took you home. You wanted to feel loved even if it were for a few hours out of the night.

You didn’t want to be here- you wanted to feel the burn of alcohol run down your throat. You wanted to see auras around everyone as you blinked. You wanted to hide in the bathroom and stumble against the walls, laughing as you struggled to get your pants down to pee. You wanted to numb every single thought, you wanted to get so blacked out you couldn’t remember anything that ha-

“Y/N, lets go unpack,” Natasha’s hand grasped around yours and you let her drag you to one of the resort rooms. Your bag tight around your shoulder, you looked around the room and hated to be in it. It was too bright, too colorful... you wanted to be in a dark room under a guy as he choked you out and you felt him deep in your stomach. You wanted to be in a dark room, feeling a someone’s lips on you, replicating what you expect love to be like.

Everything was too fucking bright... too bright compared to the dark rooms you’d be in at night, intoxicated, crying, while getting your brains fucked out because you just wanted to feel affection... even if it was fake.

“How have you been feeling?” She sits on the bed as you stand at the door, frowning at everything in the room, “You can be honest with me- I won’t tell Sam. I know it’s hard not having anyone to talk to-,”

“Is there a town close by?,” you snap your eyes towards her. It might be a dumb question but you zoned out the whole three hour ride here.

“Ugh yeah, about 20 minutes out, why?”

“C-can you get me? S-something? I- I need to... I just need to ebb the feelings away,”

“I want to help you, b-but I can’t do that for you,” she knew what you meant but no way in hell would she advocate for you continuing to tear yourself down.

“So why lie and say I can be honest if you can’t give me the one thing I need?!,” you felt the walls closing in. You focused too much on one thing and you found yourself stumbling.

“Y/N, it’s okay, I’m here, calm down, calm down,”

“Get out!!,” you felt your hands shaking, you had no control over anything, “I want to be alone! Get the fuck out!,”

“I can’t leave you alone like this!,”

You take your bag and storm off to the bathroom to lock the door. You wasted no time in digging in the bag for the sock with the little baggy of pills, popping three in your mouth and swallowing them dry. You don’t remember what kind of drug it was... you were just hoping it made you feel good.

—————

You were on autopilot. You forgot how to walk but your muscle memory helped propel you to the dining hall and there they had a sermon about trusting life’s forces and welcoming traumas to push through triggering times. You felt like it was a bunch of bull crap but you were interested because you were high off your ass.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,”

Your dad eyed you closely but worried less when he actually saw you head to the bathroom.

You paced the bathroom until a girl walked in and eyed you closely.

“Your family drag you here too?,” she eyed you up and down. She knew your behavior all too well. You were on the verge of a withdrawal break down.

“You from around here?,” you wanted to get out of here. You wanted to have fun, you wanted to get hammered.

“Yeah why?,”

“Know any parties? Like- with tons of alcohol a-and stuff? I can’t sit around here and listen to this circle of life bullshit! I. Need. Sweat and hookups and to not remember anything,” you rambled and rambled until the girl calmed you down.

“Dude, chill out,” she placed her hands on your shoulder and shook you to calm you down, “Meet me by the ugly ass evergreen tree by the entrance- midnight. I’m about to lose my cool in this place too,”

She could really be a murderer, you don’t know this girl, nor a name, nothing. But it was worth a try. Not like you’d end up being best friends.

—————

It was easy. Savannah was out cold after the dinner- she loved to eat but, it never stuck. You wish you were like that but no... it stuck everywhere, it always did.

Your dad did his last check on you at 10 so it was easy to leave. The girl waited for you in her little Prius and you went about your way.

“I’m Eve by the way,”

“Y/N,”

You didn’t want to converse. You wanted chemicals coursing through your veins to shut off every single thought, every voice, every vision in your head.

“So what’s your story? You know this resort- It’s supposed to be some pseudoscience rehab,”

“Listen, Eve,” you sighed, “I’m not one for talking, now, get some alcohol in me and then you can get in my head, hell maybe even my pants, but until then, I don’t like to talk,”

“My parents found me with a needle in my arm,” she admitted, you cursed under your breath and realized she was gonna ramble anyway. But maybe this was good for her, someone her age, someone she could relate to, “It was laced but... God it was something great and I... I never wanted it to end,” she talked as if it was a dream.

“They told me I flatlined a couple times- I couldn’t tell though but... maybe I did because I felt like I was in heaven,”

She kept talking about her experiences until you pulled up to a house with a bunch of cars out front, you didn’t even wait for her to fully stop the car before jumping out and running inside.

You saw a bunch of tangled, kissing bodies, slumped, passed out bodies, people candy flipping, people snorting lines. You weren’t sure which poison to pick.

You walked up to a girl passing small baggies around, “What’s this?,”

“Its a new street drug called angel wings, wanna try it?,”

“Will it make me feel better than lsd?,”

“Way better, dude,”

“How much can 50 bucks buy?,”

“2 baggies. Five pills come in each,”

You slapped the fifty in her hands and snatched two from her, damn near ripping one of the baggies open, to pop a single periwinkle pill in your mouth and snatching someone’s cup to swallow it down. You spotted Eve looking around for you and rushed over to her, grabbing her hand.

“Wanna dance?,”

“Did you take something already?,”

“Yeah man, you wanted to talk? I’m drugged up enough to talk,”

————

Not much talking happened. You felt yourself crying until she held your face to wipe the tears away and you found yourself in her lap, kissing her with all your might.

“Y/N you don’t want to slow down? We don’t have to do this,”

You took almost a whole baggy of angel wings and felt like you were flying, every single touch she placed on your body made the hairs on your skin stand up.

“Wanna forget, everything,” you slurred, “y-you don’t have to because... someone else will but... I trust you- to take care of me,”

Eve felt her heart swell at your words. She squeezed your thighs in her hands. Your skin was soft just like her ex’s. The one Eve lost due to her addiction driving her away. You gave her a sense of familiarity, so she kissed you back with just as much urgency. Eve had her own drug of choice running through her own bloodstream and every time you touched her had her body vibrating with tingles. She flipped you over and removed any piece of clothing that got in her way.

“Love me...,” you pleaded, your eyes found hers in the dark room. The dark room you’ve been craving just so no one could see you, they can feel you and maybe see your silhouette but the can’t see... you. You felt tears come to your eyes and you were thankful she couldn’t really see them.

“Even though it’s fake.. just... just love me how you would love someone else,”

Teeth clashed, toes curled, muscles tensed, backs arched, it was invigorating. It might have been the drugs, it might have been the fact that Eve seemed to know you like her favorite song. The both of your fingers were soaked and sticky. Skin bruised with love bites and dented with nail impressions. Throats raw from moaning and begging.

You were close and once you hit the big O, you understood the meaning behind the drug name. You heard the beating of wings and saw the bright light. You were an angel ascending and the gates of heaven opened for you just as you let out that final scream of Eve’s name. Eve... first of God’s creation.

You felt her lips on your cheek as she came with you, she held you tight and you stared up at the ceiling, letting your body tremors calm as your mind shut down with the rest of you.

—————

Eve sobered up but you made sure to drink half a bottle of cheap scotch before heading back to face the wrath of your dad.

You saw the big ugly evergreen and grumbled to yourself. Eve held your hand the whole drive and you cringed at any contact. You felt bad that you felt repulsed by her touch but you were too sober for any interaction of the sort.

She parked the car and kissed your cheek, you let her, before getting out and mumbling a thank you and goodbye and heading back in the direction of your room. You slightly stumbled and didn’t notice everyone waiting for you outside. You sniffled and felt your nose hurt, you don’t even remember snorting anything. Don’t remember what pill you popped, what drug you sniffed or what drink you took to the head and that’s how you liked it.

“Where the hell have you been?,”

Your dad’s voice was muffled and all you could do was flutter your eyes at him.

“You’re drugged up right now aren’t you?!”

You simply walked around him in what felt like slow motion, you ignored everyone eyeing you like a helpless puppy and went in the resort room to go to the bathroom.

“Don’t walk away from me, Y/N! What is it going to take for you to get better?! To stop this shit?! You’re killing yourself and don’t even realize it!,”

“Oh I realize it,” you crawl in the bathtub and just sit there. You don’t turn on any water, you just sit there

“I just don’t care enough”

——————

You woke up to a splitting headache, still lying in the tub. You groan as you pick yourself up and head out to the room to see Savannah sitting at the foot of the bed, waiting for you to sober up.

“Why can’t you be normal?,” her eyes were red like she’d been crying, Keith was out cold, he fell asleep waiting for you to wake up, “You’re putting dad through so much. You’re traumatizing Keith. Get a fucking grip and sober up!,” she gritted through her teeth.

“I didn’t ask to be this way. I didn’t ask to be born, Savannah. I’m sorry I’m not perfect and pretty and popular like you or a kid genius like Keith. I’m sorry I’m a junkie with no future. You were there when I was in therapy. You were there when they diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder a-and bipolar disorder and an addictive personality... you were there... I didn’t ask to be this way. Want me to be normal? Well rewire everything in my fucking head to do it,”

She wiped her face and shook her head, “Listen, I’m sorry. I’m just worried about you,”

“Well don’t. If I’m not worried you shouldn’t be,” you undress and wrap yourself in a towel for a shower, “I’m too far gone for worrying,”

—————

The next day there were multiple families at one of the sermon meeting thingies and it just so happened to be set up like a fucking AA meeting.

“I’m not doing this bullshit,” It was your turn to speak and you scoff, getting ready to get up and leave until Sav stopped you. You heard everyone else’s story and it didn’t inspire you to get better, it didn't move you. You didn’t give a shit about any of this.

“Do this for me... for Keith,”

You saw Keith practically pleading you and you sat back down to introduce yourself.

“I’m Y/N,”

“Welcome, Y/N,” everyone said around the room.

“I’m only here because I was forced to,” You laugh to yourself, “I don’t believe I can get better, I mean I haven’t been anyway. I’ve been faking my drug tests to pass, I’m still using, still drinking,”

You could feel Sam burning holes in the side of your head at your admission.

“Last night I snuck out and got so high I felt like I was flying,” you sighed happily, “I don’t remember when I started using but I uh- it might have been when I was trading my anxiety meds for stronger pills like ecstasy then I jumped to lsd just to run away from my fucked up reality,”

You catch Tony’s eyes, then Steve then Nat and Wanda and Bucky and so on and they all looked at you with fucking pity, it made you sick.

“I don’t believe in this shit okay? I don’t believe in praying away all these fucking chemical imbalances in my head!,” you felt your stomach churn and you felt your eyes sting, “I think I’m okay! I’m fine!,” you yelled, you were angry now, you hated being forced to talk about it.

“I’m doing a lot better with drugs and alcohol than I am without,” you were really trying to convince yourself, you weren’t fooling anyone, “When I’m high I experience the highest of highs! I- I can stay up for days and not need a wink of sleep,” You animated your gestures and looked around in hopes someone would understand.

“I can finally eat without throwing it back up because then I don’t hate myself so fucking much!,” You pound your thighs and felt the shakes come back, “I can finally eat- I can finally give myself the basic things a human needs without hating myself for it” you felt tears pool in your eyes and you hated yourself for crying but you blamed it on the 24 hours of sobriety.

“When I’m high, I don’t feel the extreme lows of my disorders. I finally break out of my shell and meet new people. I talk! I- I meet guys and they show me affection even if it’s for an hour or two and I finally feel loved in my life!,”

You felt Savannah rest her hand on your arm until you jerk away.

“When I’m high- I’m waaaay up and and... and I’m happy! I don’t feel depressed I don’t feel anxious. Being high or drunk shuts up that stupid voice in my head and no one gets it! I am better inebriated! Why can’t you see that!!,” you look to Sam for an answer and all you can see is tears in his eyes.

“And if I die? Hell! It’d be best for everyone! You wouldn’t have to worry anymore! You w-wouldn’t have to waste money on doctors visits just for me to pour someone else’s piss in a fucking cup! No suicide watch! No more not trusting me. No more me faking to be happy.. if this kills me?? Everyone would get what they wanted,”

“What do you think everyone wants, Y/N?,” the woman running the session finally speaks up. Everyone around the room seemed worried for you. You truly didn’t understand why.

You look to Savannah and shake your head.

“Peace,” you shrug and angrily wipe your eyes,

“A normal life”

—————

Once you got back to the room you scream, you screamed so loud and cried and pulled at your roots, you saw yourself in the mirror and threw it off the wall just so you wouldn’t have to look at yourself

“Be normal!,” you screamed at yourself. You felt like a noose was around your neck and the ground beneath you opened up leaving you hanging, feet kicking, desperate for air.

“Why can’t I b-be norm-mal?,” you choked on your words and clawed at your throat. Everything was upside down and spinning.

You didn’t hear the door open, you didn’t know anyone was in the room until your dad picked you up and dragged you outside.

The cool air rushed its way into your nasal passages and your chest opened up with a gasp. You couldn’t see your dad because of the tears, you could barely hear him.

“N-norm-mal... I wanna be normal,” You kept repeating over and over until your body gave out succumbed to your meltdown. Sam hugged your body and rocked you back and forth, despite people watching from their own rooms or passing by.

“We’re gonna get you help,”

“I don’t want he-help. I want it to end! I want black out from all the shit I take a-and not wake up!,”

Sam didn’t know what to do. He knows the trauma he caused you was a part of the reason you’re in this spot and mindset.

“I ruin everything I touch... I... I just..,” out of all the things you could have become- you had to become an addict. At first you didn’t want to acknowledge it because you were functioning just fine, that is until you couldn’t wake up and go about your day without it, you couldn’t do basic daily tasks without popping a perc here and there, until you couldn’t go to sleep without taking something, “I want it to stop but then- then again I don’t b-because I love it- it’s disgusting,”

“It’s going to be okay,”

“But it’s not. Nothing is okay a-and you need to get comfortable with the idea of this killing me because- because it’s going to happen,”

———

“I don’t think drinking is going to help, Sam”

Tony took the cup from Sam and he lost it, “I’m gonna lose my daughter and it’s all my fault,”

Tony didn’t know how to talk about this kind of thing- what can be said?

“It’s no one’s fault, Sam. Life doesn’t always hand us the best cards,”

Sam sniffled and shook his head, lost, frustrated, angry, upset, “What can I do? I’m losing hope,”

“I don’t think you’re going to like my answer but it seems to be her best option,”

Sam looked hopeful- anything will do as long as it gave you a chance to get clean and stay alive

“What is it?,”

———

“Inpatient rehab?!,”

He dropped the bombshell when you all got back home. Dropped it right in front of everyone- maybe he expected you to welcome the idea with open arms but you know what goes on behind those closed doors.

“You’re fucking kidding!,” you had dark circles under your eyes and your lips were dry- your dad had literally kept you on lock down the remainder of the trip, you didn’t even have in person contact with Eve but you did however end up with her number to hit her up whenever.

“You admitted you had a problem, honey. This could be good for you,” Bucky spoke up and you scoffed loudly.

“I’m not going!,” You tugged on the sleeves of your maroon sweater and paced the room, “They’re just going to lock me in a room to the point where I have cold sweats and screaming for more morphine to make the pain, itches and delusions stop!,”

Nat tried to take your hand in hers but you slapped her hand away.

“Y/N!,” Keith stomped his foot and you stared at his small stature. Tears glistening in his eyes, bottom lip quivering, “You need help!! Stop it!,”

You scowled and turned away from your baby brother. Your body trembled as you tried to keep the sobs in.

“When do I go?,”

You weren’t prepared for the answer, but you should have expected it yet your stomach still dropped.

“They’ll be here to pick you up in an hour,”

—————

“Nothing is real,” you mumbled to yourself as you stare at yourself in the mirror. Your face was dull, eyes boring and empty, hair thinning, appetite decreasing. You’d think being here for 60 days so far would do you some good but no...

You barely slept. The first 30 days you cried and screamed to be saved but now you barely even speak. You sat back on your bed just to turn to the wall.

“Wilson- you have visitors,” the nurse came into your room and saw you sitting facing the wall. You were now eligible to have visitors and spend time with family and friends.

“Don’t want visitors,” you cleared your throat and stared at the pale yellow paint on the wall, judging the job of the painters for leaving so many air bubbles in the paint.

“This could do you some good,” your nurse shuts the door behind her and sits with you on your bed, “Your family loves and misses you. Seeing them could motivate you to finish this strong,”

That made you laugh, genuinely. Your body shook with an animated belly laugh.

“They fucking locked me away in here,” you frowned, feeling sick to your stomach, “They let those people drag me away and lock me in here. Fuck their love, it’s not real!,”

She sighed and nodded knowing nothing she said would change how you feel. She’s seen it plenty of times before. She’s seen people recover completely yet still resent their families and loved ones for sending them here.

“I’m always able to contact them if you ever change your mind,”

“Fat chance,”

——

The nurse walked to the family area to see the hopeful faces of your family and loved ones. They hadn’t seen you in 60 something days.

“I’m sorry but Y/N isn’t feeling well enough to have visitors,” the nurse plays with her watch band and hates to see the way everyone’s faces drops.

“I want to see my sister!,” Keith tugged on Sam.

“What do you mean she’s not feeling well? She should be feeling at least a little fine in this stage right?,”

She sighs and shakes her head, “The stages in recovery are subjective. Chemical dependency is a hard thing to battle- some days she’s fine and some days like today she’s angry at everything and everyone. As much as I would like for her to see everyone, we can not force her,”

Steve stands up and sets a hand on Sam’s shoulder, “On a day, that she’s feeling better, will you call us?,”

“Of course,”

———

“I know she’s still angry,” Sam sent Savannah and Keith to their rooms while he stayed up with everyone else, “She’s my daughter, I know how she is. She holds grudges a-and she’s still upset,”

“Maybe, but she’ll see this was something she needed,” Bruce tried to make things better but nothing would be better until you were.

“How did things get this bad?,” he slammed his glass on the table and startled everyone.

“I know it’s hard right now but just- just calm down, Sam,” Bucky worried about his friend. He could only imagine how much he was losing his mind and hope on the inside.

“Calm down?,” Sam asked incredulously, “Calm the fuck down?! How can I calm down when I don’t even know if I’m going to see my daughter again, man?,” the legs of the chair screeched against the floor as he stood up in a rush.

Wanda rested a hand on his arm to try and soothe him but he wasn’t having it, “We get it, Sam. We know you’re hurting-,”

“But you don’t!,” he shouted, “You weren’t there when I got a phone call at work from her school nurse saying she had cuts all on the inside of her thigh! You didn’t see it! It looked like fucking grid paper and crosshatching! You weren’t there when I had to sit there in therapy and listen to the way she talks about herself and her life and me- my daughter hates herself and genuinely thinks I hate her and she believes everything that goes wrong is her fault- you didn’t hear the way she talked about herself!,”

For longest time Sam kept quiet about all of this, just wanting to push through it until it got better but it was time he faced the music.

“You weren’t there when she screamed at me, telling me she wished she was never born and I just stood there calling her ungrateful, selfish and dramatic! I didn’t listen to her, I only paid attention to Savannah and Keith and left her feeling unloved. You weren’t there when I caught her sneaking out and she was drunk, you weren’t there when I ignored everything the psychiatrist said about her having an addictive personality and excused all the signs she started to display until I fucking found her blacked out with throw up all over her!,”

He realized he couldn’t just pin it all on you. You were suffering and he hated himself for not realizing it until he was.

No one knew what to say- they were only outsiders, sure they were family but they didn’t get an inside scoop until a few months ago when they got a phone call from Sam saying you were in the hospital. They still didn’t know how to handle it. They could fight bad guys and fucking aliens all day but addiction of a loved one? That was new and left them stumped.

“But damn you were there when she talked about being okay with it if this just killed her. No one wants to hear a loved one say that- especially their child!,” he ran a hand over his face to get rid of the tears, he felt like he didn’t have a right to cry, “I did a lot of wrong as her father and I didn’t even think how my shitty actions contributed to where she is now. Now my daughter could be dying while trying to recover,”

Tony stood up and pulled Sam in a hug, grateful that Sam was seeing everything from a different perspective than his own. He was grateful that Sam was a father trying to right his wrongs and do better.

“It’s not too late,”

————

Your nurse came a few times a week letting you know that you had visitors but you turned them away each time.

The cold sweats happened less, you ate more, your skin started to warm up again and you could finally sleep throughout the night but you still wouldn’t see them. It’d probably bring back a ton of memories that would trigger you to relapse.

You earned yourself time out of the facility but only with supervision. Your nurse, Brielle, accompanied you to trips to the park and lunches.

“Y/N?,”

You looked in the direction of the voice and saw Savannah smiling at seeing you but fear just filled you.

She looked different, she cut her hair and dyed it, her make up was softer and her style was more... indie?

“I’ve missed you so much,” she moved in for a hug but you moved away only to see her smile drop, “Y/N, don’t do that. I’m your sister,”

“I’m recovering from substance abuse not amnesia,” You scowled. You turned to Brielle and asked her to go.

“Why can’t you just be normal?,”

Savannah’s voice echoed in your head and you felt a band around your head tightening yet again, it was your body’s reaction to let you know that you need to get out of the situation or else you’d fall subject to a mental break.

“Brielle, we gotta go,” You scooted out of the booth, past Savannah and tugged Brielle out of the restaurant- forgetting that you were even ordering.

“Y/N please! Talk to me! Talk to Keith, Dad! We miss you,”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!!,” you covered your ears and dropped down against the car, feeling dizzy, feeling every swirl around you as you tried to grasp onto reality.

“Grow through what you go through, grow through what you go through, grow through what you go through,”

You repeated the mantra over and over again. It’s a mantra designed specifically for you. Every patient gets their own mantra for when they feel like they’re losing. Yours is to help you remind yourself that nothing is ever easy but that doesn’t mean give up... life and it’s struggles will always be there but that doesn’t mean stunt your growth and efforts. Grow through what you go through.

“That’s right, you’re doing great,” Brielle whispered, she looked at Savannah over her shoulder and shook her head, “I know it’s hard not seeing her but it’s in Y/N’s best interest that she be willing to see you or anyone else on her own terms,”

Savannah hated to see you crouched on the ground, shaking and mumbling to yourself. She mumbled a sorry before rushing over to her car and crying to herself as she drove home and bursting through the doors, clearly upset to everyone else.

“Dad what’s wrong with, Vanna?,”

Sam looked up to see Savannah cursing to herself, and crying. She wasn’t upset with anyone but herself.

“She looked so scared of me!,”

Sam’s stomach dropped, he didn’t even have to ask who ‘she’ was.

“You saw her?,” Sam didn’t trust his voice and there was a reason for it.

“She was out with her nurse. She looks so much better a-and she looks healthy, she’s eating again. She doesn’t look she’s dying!,”

Savannah was rambling and frustrated that she triggered you like that, “I saw her, I spoke to her but I scared her so bad she fell to the ground and covered her ears so she wouldn’t hear me talking, I- what if she relapses and it’s all my fault?,”

Sam pulled his sobbing daughter into his arms and calmed her down as best as he could, “She’s your sister, anyone in that situation would have done what you did, you miss her and that’s valid,”

It mad him feel good that you seemed to be getting better, that you looked healthy and lively. He just hoped you would be willing to see everyone soon.

------

“You have visitors today but I can send them aw-,”

“I’ll be out in a minute,” it’s been another 30 days and you figured it’s time to face the music, face everyone and maybe get the supposed closure everyone was saying you needed,

You missed her initial shock from your response but she nodded and waited for you anyway. You slipped on your cardigan and slippers, then let Brielle lead you to the visiting area.

Everyone expected to be turned away again but when they saw a second body behind Brielle, they all stood up ready to greet you but she held her hands up in caution

“It’s best to not overwhelm her and to let her initiate any contact,”

Sam just wanted to hug his daughter and let her know how sorry he was but he knew she was right. 

You hated the way you felt their eyes burning into you, you couldn't bear to look at them, not yet, so your eyes focused on getting your foot directly in the center of each tile on floor. Brielle sat you down across from them and told you she’d be right outside if you needed anything.

Then there you all were. Face to face.

“It’s been so long,” Keith whimpered, “I missed you so much,”

You played with a stray string in your cardigan and sighed.

“It’s been a long four months, sweetie. I missed you so much,” Sam just wanted you to look at him. Your hair was getting thick again, you skin shone under the sun, your lips were moisturized with color instead of grey and chapped. He could see you were doing better

“Four months, 17 days, 3 hours, 44 minutes and” You cut your attention to the clock on the wall, “12 seconds,” your voice was hoarse and you cursed yourself for it, “That's how long it’s really been,” you wrapped your arms around yourself as a comforting gesture.

“I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to push you to that point, baby. I should have been better,”

“Life is too short to feel sorry for ourselves,” you looked up at the ceiling light and shrugged, “This place is all about being philosophical. Don’t be sorry, be better. That’s all they fucking say,” you grit through your teeth.

“Like oh, don't feel sorry for yourself- no one forced you to drink so much, no one told you to roll up that dollar bill, no one held a gun to your head and told you to take those pretty pills with cool names that look like candy,” you smiled and laughed at yourself, the nervous tick you’ve developed to keep from crying.

“No one told you to be ungrateful and hate the gift of life that was given to you, so don't feel sorry for yourself, be better,” you used a mocking voice and rolled your eyes, “There’s no need to blame yourself, the common variable is me, I have to be accountable for my actions,” 

Everyone was worried about how scripted this sounded but they dubbed it down to you being a little upset about being forced here, still.

“I still should have been a better, dad,”

“We aaalll make mistakes, Sammy,” he didn’t miss that you didn’t call him dad. Everyone caught it, “But not every dad kicks their family out on Christmas eve with nowhere to go in the freezing cold,”

His heart stopped, he’s never forgiven himself for that drunken mistake. The marriage problems between him and your mom drove him to develop a drinking problem and due to his little problem, it caused him to mess up a lot of things up. 

“Why was it me? Like why did Savannah and Keith get to move past all of this and I’m the one stuck? I’m the one suffering even while recovering?”

No one could answer that.

“Why did I have to be the one to talk to the cops because you sent me back to mom with bruises on my legs, huh? I didn’t want to- I didn’t want them to go after you because you were still my dad- I still loved you after yelling at me at dinner, I still loved you after sending me back to mom early when you couldn’t stand to be around me- I still loved you when you moved away and missed big chunks in my life but you kept Sav and Keith. What did I do? Tell me, please, maybe I can fix it, maybe I can be better. I just want my dad to love me,”

“I do love you Y/N! And I’ll never forgive myself for-,

“Don't be sorry! Be better!,” you shouted over him. Angry with yourself that you began crying.

No one knew what to say. Everyone else was here for support but this was clearly a father and daughter situation.

“Did you ever love me?,”

A question a child should never have to ask their parent.

“When I got the call that your mother was in labor with you on my birthday the world stopped,” Sam sat with his elbows on his knees, looking dead at you but you still wouldn’t look at him, “You were the best gift I could have ever asked for.. ever. After we had you, I can’t tell you what went wrong because I don’t know,”

“It’s my fault,” You sobbed, “Say it! It’s my fault. Had I not been born, everyone’s life would be better!,”

You finally looked at him and everyone could see the fire in your eyes, wild and couldn’t be tamed, your trauma being the fuel.

“It’s not your fault at all. I have failed you as a father and I... I let it go on for far too long without acknowledging it and apologizing for it before it got too late,”

“If I could go back in time to make things better I would. I never wanted you to feel unloved or that life would be better without you,”

He hated to be sitting across from you, your mind dead set on him hating you. He just screwed up a lot in his life.

“I let you down so much. I love you more than you could ever know. I just fucked up a lot as your dad,”

“Y/N, sweetie, I know this is hard,” Tony chimed, “But this could be a new beginning for you both. You’re recovering and he’s trying to right his wrongs before it’s too late. It’s not going to be easy and I know everything hurts and it’s going to take time but you know what they say.. grow through what you go through,”

You didn’t have time to ask how he knew your mantra, but it made sense eventually.

“I forgave you a long time ago, dad,” you pulled your cardigan sleeves down, and used them to wipe your eyes, “I didn’t think it’d matter if I became Falcon’s candy flipping daughter or not, I just wanted to make everything stop. I- I just wanted to be numb so I didn’t feel bad about any and everything,”

Sam didn’t take into account how much you were actually battling in day to day life. He didn’t believe anything the psychiatrist was saying when you were 10, if only he did, all of this could have been avoided.

“I’m still fighting my want to just relapse in anyway I can but... I can’t bring myself to do it because I know if I do, that might be it and I don’t want it to be that way dad,” 

He reached out to grab your hands and could have sobbed when you didn’t move away

“It doesn't have to be,“

------

180 days is a long time, it might not seem like it, but it is a long ass time for someone to go without something that they believe made them better. Someone who took multiple substances at a time just to shut down their mind so they don’t remember things, so they don’t feel things.

“You gonna be ok watching Keith? We need Sav on this,”

“I got him, dad. Just be safe,”

Sam hated to admit it but he was still worried to leave you alone. He made Tony put away all of his alcohol and set up a security code so no one could get in it.

“I won’t have anyone over, I don’t know the code to the cellar. I’m not going to put Keith through that again, dad. Have a bit more trust in me,”

He watched the way your eyes twinkled and nodded before kissing your cheek and heading out with the team.

“Can we play mancala? No one else likes to play it with me,“

“Sure thing, bud. Let’s go,”

You two played mancala for multiple rounds, just for him to beat you almost every time. You two watched Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader for hours while eating shitty kraft mac and cheese before getting him ready for bed.

“Can you stay with me? So I know you’re safe,” 

“Did dad put you up to that?,“

“I just miss my big sister, Y/N,” He sat up and played with his blanket, “I almost saw you dead... you wouldn’t talk to us for forever, I just missed my big sister,” you didn’t mean to make him cry.

“Hey, hey, I’m right here buddy, I’ll stay, okay?,”

You crawled under his blanket and held him tight and he held you even tighter, not wanting you to leave. 

----

You don’t know what triggered the nightmare but you woke up in your own room, right on the floor, sweaty and panting. You never sleep walk. You felt something stick to your sweaty palm and look down to see a small plastic baggie with those pretty blue pills from the night you blacked out. 

You threw it across the room and curled up against the side of your bed whimpering your mantra to yourself.

“Would you like me to call for help?,” Friday spoke overhead.

“I'm okay,” you clenched your eyes shut and did what you could to muster up the strength to just get up and flush them. It should have been a relief to do it but you felt a pang in your chest. You should have been proud of yourself for having the strength to not break sobriety. 

“I thought you said you were gonna be okay?,” Keith’s voice scared the hell out of you, “If you were going to be okay then you wouldn’t look so upset as you flushed them,“

“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Keith. Go back to bed,“

“I’m telling dad,”

“Tell him what?,” you snapped your neck to him, eyes narrowing, “What? that I’m still fucking struggling? Yeah, I’ll tell him myself, bud,”

“He’s gonna send you back,” Keith didn’t mean to scare you, he was just worried and his words weren’t coming out right.

“I’d rather shit in my hands and clap,” you threw the baggie away and walked past him to sit on your bed to just try and calm down.

“Do I need to call him,”

“No,”

“Then what needs to happen?,”

“I need you to just be quiet!,” you hated raising your voice at him, but the rambling and patronizing was not helping.

“I’m calling dad,”

--------------

It was past midnight when they were all headed back and Sam got the phone call from Keith.

“Hey, son,”

“Y/N was walking while she was asleep and then woke up with a bag of pills in her hands,”

“What? she didn’t take any did she?,” Sam’s tone had everyone turning to him with expressions of worry.

“No but she looked sad when she flushed them,”

Sam sighed happily when he heard you’d flushed them. But for you to seem sad while doing so?  that couldn’t be a good thing.

“She’s mad that I called you but you need to know, she locked herself in her room after yelling at me. I can hear her crying and talking to herself. I didn’t mean to make her mad, dad,”

Sam sighed and sat back down beside Savannah who was waiting for her dad to hang up so she could know what was happening.

“She’s going to be okay, bud. You have to understand that what she went through was not easy. She might be out of hat place but she’s fighting everyday  to continue to get better and get her mind far away from that stuff as best as she can. We have to be patient, okay?,”

You had been pacing in your room. You knew all of this would put you so many steps back with your dad and his trust. You flinched at the sound of knocking at your door and his voice.

“Sweetie, open up,” 

You didn’t want to face him right now. You didn’t want to talk about it, nothing. You didn’t need anyone scolding you as you were already scolding yourself. You hadn’t stopped beating yourself up about it.

Sam didn’t want to freak out when you didn’t reply. He didn’t want to admit that he thought the worst, “Honey, please,”

“Dad, I am fine. Get some rest,” another step back. You were doing good not shutting anyone out but the moment something goes down, you forget all your effort.

“Y/N, I am not here to be mad at you. I am here to make sure you’re okay and to let you know I am here. You just gotta let me in,”

You cursed to yourself before walking over to the door to unlock it and let him in. He didn’t hesitate to pull you into a tight hug. 

“I didn’t take anything,”

“I know... even if you did- I wouldn’t be mad at you, disappointed yes, but mad? No. Relapse sometimes comes with recovery,”

You don’t know that Sam had been attending seminars for parents that have kids battling different things such as addiction. Multiple lessons were learned as well as communication pointers. 

“I didn’t mean to do that while Keith was here. I understand if you don’t trust me anymore,”

“I still trust you, Y/N. You don’t need to be beating yourself up right now. You did the right thing in flushing whatever you had, even if it did make you a little sad and made you feel like you needed it in that moment. Be proud of yourself. You took a big step forward by doing that, be proud,”

“How can I be proud when I hate myself for flushing them?,” you had to be honest. You wouldn’t be feeling this if you weren’t presented with them. It made you feel weak. You should be able to look at these things and be able to say no with no guilt.

“Because you flushed them regardless. This takes time, Y/N. I’m being patient with you now, so you have to learn to be patient with yourself. Rome wasn’t built in a day,”

“Yeah well the people who built it up weren’t highed up on something now were they?,” 

“Don’t be self-deprecating. You’re still going strong. Be proud even if you feel like there isn’t a reason to be,”

You knew he was right. Whether you were sad about flushing them, you still got the guts to do it and that’s commendable, you should be proud. You were kicking your ass when you should be happy and feel relief. You shouldn’t be feeling this weight, you shouldn’t be feeling guilty.

You’re growing through what you go through and that deserves a pat on the back.

---------------

You don’t know how you got here. You went back to school and shit came crumbling down. You were going strong but the weight of responsibility and insecurity became too much. Walking down the fucking halls everyday, comparing yourself to every girl that looked like barbie then going to the bathroom to stare at your reflection and pick yourself apart until the voices became too loud for you to handle so you went to the school plug and slapped money in his hand

“Anything will do,”

After school he came back and handed you a black plastic bag with cheap alcohol in it. You hid in an empty class room and barely drank a quarter of the bottle before you felt sick, like your body was rejecting what you were trying to force down into it. 

Your fingers moved faster than your mind, grabbing for your phone and dialing away.

“Hello?,”

You sniffled and held the bottle close to your chest, “Uncle Tony? I- I...,” you hiccuped and hugged the bottle close to your chest, “Uncle Tony, I messed up,”

-----

He was there for you in no time. He knew you wouldn’t want to talk about it but he knew your dad would have to find out about this. 

“I don’t wanna go back. I’m done growing through what I grow through, its a crock of shit,”  you stared out the window, eyes heavy.

“I know the fight becomes annoying,” Tony sighed, “But from the looks of it, your body has already made a decision for you,” 

He was right, a few sips and your body was angry with you. You should be thankful because it didn’t always work like that with other people who were fighting this like you. Others bodies often welcomed such a thing back easily, the bodies of some couldn’t even continue the fight without it before giving out.

“Plus you let someone know, as soon as it happened. Everyone can see your efforts. You may be tired of growing through it but it’s become natural for you and you don’t even realize it, though I can’t blame you. I was the same way,”

He sprinkled that last bit in there like it was a dash of parsley to complete a dish and it had your neck snapping to look at him. “Excuse me?,”

He chuckled and raised his eyebrows all while mumbling “well,” he pulled to a stop light and looked over at you, “I wasn’t always the polished hero I am now,”

He patted your leg in a hopeful manner, “In my days of college, getting drugs was as easy as buying cola from the corner store. Trying to run a company that my dad didn’t really want me to have in the first place to staying up all day everyday to make it through college was bound to get me in some trouble,” the light turned green and he lightly put his foot on the gas to continue the peaceful rid home, “I’d snort some coke to keep me away and focus long enough to study, I thought it was normal because the other students were doing it, until it wasn’t about trying to focus on school anymore. It was about  how high I could get and how good I could feel to the point I couldn’t walk out my dorm in the morning for class without rubbing a little on my gums or cutting up a quick line,”

“How’d you kick it?,” You never would have thought he batted such a thing, he changed for the better and picked himself up.

“The nose bleeds. The doctor told me if I didn’t stop I wouldn’t see the day I graduated. Told me I’d never see the day where I became the man I deserved as a role model as a kid. I wanted to be better than him. In a moment of weakness, my recovery was fueled by spite,” 

“I guess everyone’s come-to-Jesus meeting is a bit different,” you give a small smile and shrug, “Mine was when Keith practically slapped some sense into me. He’s a kid, who wants their little sibling walking around knowing their older sibling is a fucking fiend?,” you give a harsh scoff and roll your eyes as you feel tears coming, “He didn’t deserve to see me like that, that night- in and out of consciousness, watching them pump me full of coal and other shit to keep me alive, that screwed up his head and he’s barely hit puberty yet,”

Tony could almost hear the tears in your voice, you had your head turned to look out the window, he didn’t need to see your face to know.

“He’s your ticket out of the dark room,”

-----

Your dad didn’t put you back in the rehabilitation center because you owned up to knowing you messed up, because you called someone for help, knowing the slight possibility that you might have gotten a few people upset.

It was all trial and error, a constant fight, day and night even in your moments of shut eye. 

It was a learning experience for Sam, it taught him how to be a better dad, taught him that although he can’t go back and change things, he still has now to break habits and form healthy ones and make them the foundation of a healthy relationship between father and child.

He was in your corner and that helped keep your head above water.

Addiction and mental illness were never cut and dry. There’d always be doubts and close calls of near relapse but it was a fight you’d be willing to put up with 24/7. 

You never wanted to be back in that dark room of addiction. Driving yourself insane trying to find the next fix so you feel “normal”- but there was nothing normal about forcing yourself to be numb, there was nothing normal about denying you need help. Nothing normal whatsoever about forcing chemicals that could kill you into your body just to be happy. 

This, this right here was normal. Feeling pain, fighting, crying, trials, everything that you’re feeling now. Feeling is normal, even if it hurts sometimes.

You’d never stop growing through what you go through, but the fight.. that effort you put in.. it’ll always be worth it.

---------------------

this took so long to write because I was never satisfied with it. I kept editing and erasing and adding more. And here is the finished product. It doesn’t have to resonate with you but here it is. Thank you for the love and support you guys always gift me.

REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS ENCOURAGED AND APPRECIATED>

tags: @vozit @blackreaders-assemble @retroxvailles @champangebucky @sambucky8 @princess-toshii @sebbyslut @titty-teetee @ilovefanfic86 @valkyriesnymph @dumbchick @mbaku-babygirl​ @veryhellshdia @persephones24 @here-for-your-bullshit @mokacoconut @spideys-wife @xye-weirdo @chonisberonica @disaster-rose @micki-smiles @valentinevirgo @yournonlocalpoc​ @warmchick​ @hisxblackxqueen​

[nishikuroo]

home.

/həʊm/

in which Daichi and Suga figure out the true meaning of home. 

[TW : mentions of s*lf h*rm, bl00d and su*c*de !!!! read at your own risk; below the page break]

Daichi chuckled as he heard Suga groan and drop his head onto his textbook again. “Careful Suga-san. If you keep doing that, you might not have a brain anymore,” he joked. He realised that Suga had been exceptionally quiet and exhausted lately, but he knew that if he wasn’t feeling well, he’d let Daichi know. After all, they are best friends. 

Daichi’s smile fell a little when Suga picked his head up to look at him. The dark circles under his eyes were more prominent and his skin was paler than he remembered. ‘Maybe he really is going through something,’ Daichi thought. Suga let out a soft laugh and stifled a yawn.

“Suga-san, are you okay?” Daichi questioned. His concern for his grey-haired best friend only grew when Suga brushed it off. “Yeah, yeah. I haven’t been able to sleep well recently, but don’t worry about me! I’ll be fine!” he flashed Daichi his signature, pearly-white smile and gave him a thumbs-up. 

Before Daichi could interrogate any further, his best friend jumped up and pointed out that it was time to head to the gym for volleyball practice. The two made their way to the club room to change out of their school uniforms. The weather was warmer today, which confused Daichi even more when he turned around and saw Suga wearing the Karasuno jacket zipped all the way up. They barely left the room before Daichi felt himself starting to sweat a bit.

“Suga-san, aren’t you uncomfortable? It’s really warm outside,” he asked as they made their way down the stairs. Suga stuffed his hands into his pockets and tried to pull his sleeves down further. ‘If he finds out, it would break him,’ Suga thought. ‘But he deserves to know.’ 

‘Crap. I’m not ready to tell him yet. What do I say?’ Suga started to panic and blurted out the first excuse he could think of. “I’m anemic.” Daichi paused and stared at him, processing what he just said. ‘Maybe that explains the dark circles and pale skin,’ Daichi thought. “We’ve been best friends since first year, Suga-san. Why are you only saying this now? Are you sure you can still play?” Worry was written all over his face.

Suga looked away, his guilt immediately consuming him. ‘Damn it, why did I say that? Why didn’t I tell him the truth?’ He took a deep breath before turning back to face Daichi and shooting him another signature Sugawara smile. “Yeah of course! I wouldn’t play if I couldn’t handle it,” he reassured.

Before any of them could say something, a loud voice cried out from behind them. They turned around to see Tanaka running towards them. “Daichi! Suga!” he screeched in excitement. Suga giggled and he didn’t even need to turn to the captain beside him to know his expression. 

“Oi, stop being so noisy!” Daichi chided when Tanaka finally reached them. “Ahh, don’t be like that, captain! I know you missed me,” Tanaka smirked, throwing his arms over the seniors. The three continued to make their way to the gym, all secretly wishing for the same thing. Daichi slid open the doors, already knowing what they’d see, or who they wouldn’t see.

No Asahi, no Nishinoya.

The three all slumped their shoulders at this realisation, but suddenly got distracted by two other voices. They whipped their heads to the foreign voices, but somewhat familiar faces.

Tobio Kageyama.

Shoyo Hinata.

They were both arguing, completely oblivious to the seniors watching them. Suga continued observing with an amused expression as Daichi nicely tried to break up the argument. When that didn’t work, Tanaka jumped in.

Well, this should be interesting.

_____________________

It was finally the qualifiers. 

Their first match against Tokonami High was about to begin. Everyone was completely nervous. Suga was shaking, even though he was wearing his jacket. He rubbed the bandages wrapping his forearms, thankfully hidden by the sleeves. No one had found out the real reason yet, not even Daichi. The guilt was starting to eat at him, so he made a promise that he would tell him soon.

Hinata was the first to ask about his bandages, but Suga managed to convince him it was because he fell and scraped his forearms on a run.

Coach Ukai and Mr. Takeda gave their pep talks, leaving Daichi to speak last. He turned to the rest of the team, his smile radiating confidence. Suga couldn’t help but smile as he watched him. He thought about how far they’ve come ever since joining the club as freshmen. 

The whistle blew, and the team gathered in a circle. Suga watched each of his teammates’ faces, before shifting his focus to Daichi. The confident smile he wore never faltered. 

As Suga watched the captain of the team, his best friend, he had never felt more proud.

‘Karasuno, fight!’

_____________________

Karasuno lost to Aoba Johsai in the third round.

The entire team ate their dinner in silence, with tears streaming down their faces. Nobody knew what to say. Daichi and Suga looked at each other with solemn expressions. Even after all that, Suga still managed to give Daichi a soft smile before turning back to his food.

Daichi felt at peace whenever he was with Suga. Even through all the bad times. They were always by each other’s side no matter what. He continued to stare at Suga a little longer, taking in everything about him.

The way there was always a soft smile on his lips, the way his eyes sparkled, the way his hair was somehow always perfect, the little mole below his eye.

He always knew he had feelings for Suga, but he was too scared to admit it.

Daichi and Suga made their way home when everyone was done with their meal. They walked in silence for a couple minutes before Suga spoke up. “Hey, do you wanna take the long way home? The route we used to walk back in first year?” 

Daichi smiled and nodded his head. He knew it was Suga’s favourite route because of the garden that had the swings, but they stopped walking there because of how tired they were after practice. They continued to walk in silence as they walked straight instead of taking the usual right turn. Daichi looked at Suga only to find him staring up at the stars, his hands stuffed in his pockets as usual. 

It was then that Daichi realised he rarely saw Suga without outerwear anymore. In school, his sleeves would be rolled down instead of up to his elbows, and during practice, he would wear the beige sweater or his Karasuno jacket. 

‘Maybe he just gets cold easily because of his anemia,’ he thought. Just as he was about to ask Suga about it, his voice cut the silence first.

“Hey Daichi, what does ‘home’ mean to you?” he asked softly. Daichi stopped and watched Suga’s back as he continued to make his way to the swings in the middle of the garden. Suga may be the nicest and the mother of the team, but it was usually Daichi asking the deep questions whenever they talked.

“Oi, are you just gonna stand there and wait for a red carpet?” Suga joked. Daichi shook his head and laughed as he sat on the swing beside Suga. 

‘What does home mean to me?’

Daichi thought about it for a while before answering. “Well, to me, home is wherever my family is. Wherever my comfort zone and safe space is. Wherever I’m happy,” he looked at Suga, realising that he was looking at what he just described.

He opened his mouth to continue, but immediately stopped when he registered Suga’s appearance. He was shaking despite the air being still, his jacket suddenly looked more oversized on him, his skin was almost snow-like, the dark circles under his eyes were getting worse, but what broke his heart was seeing Suga trying to hold back tears as he continued looking up at the stars.

“Koushi…” Daichi had never called him by his first name before, but Suga couldn’t ignore the butterflies. “What does home mean to you?” Daichi continued, keeping his voice soft. Despite being best friends for three years, he had rarely seen Suga cry other than losing a match.

Suga let out an empty laugh as he finally let the tears fall. He closed his eyes for a few seconds before taking a breath and smiling sadly at Daichi.

“I don’t know. I’ve never felt it before.”

Daichi was absolutely heartbroken. It hurt him seeing his best friend like that. Suga was always so positive and light hearted, always encouraging the team no matter what. Hell, Suga was even proud of Kageyama instead of getting mad. To Daichi, Suga had the purest soul in the world who didn’t deserve hurt or sadness.

As he followed his instinct to hug and comfort Suga, he noticed something. Tiny red stains at the bottom of Suga’s white shirt, near the side. They were barely noticeable, but he still managed to catch a glimpse before pulling Suga in. As Daichi embraced him, everything started to click in his mind.

The dark circles, the pale skin, losing weight, always covering his arms.

He decided not to address it because he trusted that Suga would tell him when he was ready, but he hugged him tighter and whispered, “hey, you know I’m always here for you no matter what. If you need someone to talk to, just come to me. Just come home.”

_____________________

After that day, Daichi became more observant towards Suga. Whenever they walked to school together, he always made sure to bring bread for Suga in case he hadn’t eaten breakfast. He would constantly check up on him and try his best to cheer him up.

Suga was slowly opening up to Daichi about how he was feeling, which he was thankful for. But whenever they parted ways, Daichi’s mind would linger with Suga. He was starting to get frustrated because he didn’t know how to help him. He didn’t know how to make him feel better.

He felt like a useless best friend.

That night, as he was about to fall asleep, Daichi’s phone buzzed.

Suga [11:42pm] : hey, you awake?

Daichi [11:42pm] : yeah, what’s wrong?

A minute passed by and still no answer. Daichi started to get worried, and all possibility of falling asleep disappeared. 

Did something happen to Suga? Is he okay? Does he need help?

Daichi’s mind was running wild with questions and possibilities when his phone buzzed again. 

Suga [11:45pm] : can you meet me at the swings in 10 minutes?

Daichi [11:45pm] : yeah of course. I’ll see you there. Stay safe alright?

Suga [11.45pm] : thank you, daichi. I will, and you too.

It took Suga 3 minutes to reply, but Daichi felt like it had been hours. He quickly got up and threw a jacket over his pajamas before quietly slipping out of the house. He wore his shoes and made his way to Suga’s favourite garden. On the way, he started to remember the memories they made there.

It was nicknamed as ‘The Garden of Hope’, because every time they went there feeling down, they would always leave feeling happier. Suga came up with the name after they found the place. It was after their seniors had lost their last match.

That day, they spent hours just talking on the swings, laying on the grass, admiring all the flowers surrounding them. They talked about their future, about how Suga wanted to be a teacher and how Daichi wanted to be a policeman. They talked about how amazing it would be to play at Nationals, or how much ramen Daichi could eat in one sitting. By the time they had to leave, they felt a new sense of hope; like things would get better soon.

It wasn’t long before he reached the garden and saw Suga already sitting on the swings with his knees up to his chest. When Daichi got closer, Suga suddenly shot up and whipped his head around. His eyes had an alarmed look, but he relaxed the moment he realised it was just Daichi. 

Suga gave him a tired smile after he got comfortable on the swing. They sat in silence for a minute before Suga turned to him again and said, “Thank you Daichi, it really means alot to me.”

“Hey, when I said I’m here for you, I mean it,” he replied. The silence surrounded them once more. Daichi didn’t know what to say or do. Suga could feel his worry and frustration. He felt horrible because he knew Daichi wanted to help, but Suga also wasn't letting him in.

[TRIGGER WARNING]

He finally turned to Daichi and removed his sweater. Suga looked him in the eyes, trying to hold back tears, as he said, “I’m three days clean.”

That was when Daichi finally saw them. Suga’s arms. They were filled with lines. Some short, some long, some healed, some fresh, some thin, some thick. Daichi felt a stab to his heart as he looked at each scar.

“Suga…” Daichi was speechless. For each scar, Suga went through something horrible alone. Tears threatened to fall from Daichi’s eyes, but he held them back. ‘I have to be strong. For Suga.’

He didn’t say anything, but instead pulled Suga into a hug so tight, he hoped all of Suga’s broken pieces would come together. At that moment, Daichi made a promise to the both of them. 

He promised that Suga would never feel like he’s alone, no matter what. 

Neither of them wanted to let go. They stayed in each other’s arms, even when Suga broke down crying. He gripped Daichi’s arms, silently begging him. 

‘Please, please don’t leave me’ 

And for the first time in years, Daichi said a silent prayer.

‘Please, I’m begging you, please take his pain away.’

_____________________

Ever since that night at the garden, Daichi suddenly felt hatred towards the world and everything beyond. He couldn’t explain why, but he refused to notice how beautiful the world was around him. 

It’s just a cruel place that’s unfair to the most kindhearted people.

It had only been two weeks. Daichi noticed Suga falling asleep in class more often, neglecting his studies more, and losing weight rapidly. The only time he ever saw Suga lively was during practice. 

He knew that Suga was only putting on an act in front of the juniors and freshmen, and so far, it was working. Nobody questioned his use of jackets and sweaters, or whenever he went to the toilet to change instead of the club room. 

Daichi checked Suga’s arms whenever they walked to school together. He felt like an asshole whenever he saw Suga reluctantly roll up his sleeves. It was difficult for Suga at first, but he gave in because he trusted Daichi. He promised himself that he would try his best to stop, because seeing Daichi’s expression that night broke his heart.

After practice, the pair walked to the garden again. This time, Daichi noticed something different. Suga’s eyes were sparkling, and they weren’t the stars reflected in them. They were genuinely sparkling. 

A tiny smile appeared on his face as he nudged Suga. “You seem to be in a better mood today,” he pointed out. Suga chuckled and Daichi felt his heart leap. He always loved hearing his laugh. 

“Yeah, I actually feel okay. It’s been forever since I felt this way,” Suga kicked a pebble as they crossed the road. Suddenly, he turned to face Daichi with a grin. Oh, that smile. It could melt even the coldest heart. 

“Race you there!” Suga sprinted ahead, leaving Daichi stunned as he processed what happened. “Oi, dumbass! Don’t cry if you fall down!” He jokingly called after Suga as he chased him. 

When they finally reached their hideaway, they both plopped onto the grass as they caught their breath. After a couple minutes of calming down, they made eye contact and burst out laughing.

Neither of them knew why, but that was the moment that Suga realised he only felt genuine happiness with Daichi, especially when they were playing volleyball together. 

They laid down on the grass and stared up at the stars in silence. Suga’s voice was soft, barely above a whisper, “the world is so beautiful.”

Daichi turned to look at him, studying his expression. Suga looked peaceful for once. The way his chest rose and fell steadily comforted Daichi. He was ready to retort with his hatred for the world, but stopped himself as he continued resting his eyes on Suga’s figure. 

‘He’s still here. Thank you for still holding on. I know it’s tough, but you’re the strongest person I know.’

He switched his position so he was fully facing Suga. “Why do you think so?” he questioned him instead. Daichi had never said it, but he loved the way Suga’s mind worked. He loved hearing his thoughts, good or bad. He felt like Suga saw the world differently, that even at his lowest, he could still find silver linings. 

They spent hours talking again. From the moon and sun to aliens to volleyball to their insecurities. By the time they ran out of things to talk about, it was past midnight. 

As they got ready to make their way home, Suga turned to Daichi. “I promise I’ll stop, for you.” Daichi was shocked. ‘He… He would do that for me?’ He knew that it wouldn’t be easy for Suga, but he was willing to stay by his side every step of the way. “Koushi, you don’t have to promise me. I know it’s difficult,” he replied. 

Suga smiled at him once more. “As long as I’m with you, I can get through anything.”

Daichi knew that healing and recovery was never easy, but he didn’t expect everything to go downhill so quickly.

_____________________

A week before the Tokyo training camp, the entire team was in high spirits, even Suga. He was getting more rest and he started to eat more each day. His skin was starting to gain more colour and he slowly stopped using his jacket. Both Daichi and Suga felt like he was making good progress.

Suga was 27 days clean.

Daichi had been so supportive, always checking up on Suga. He always gave Suga space whenever he needed it, but he never left his side. Everyday, Daichi never failed to let him know how proud he was.

Friday night, Daichi was studying, but none of the material was entering his brain. He felt like something was off. He had an uneasy feeling in his stomach. ‘Maybe it was something I ate earlier,’ he reassured himself.

His mind then wandered to Suga. ‘I wonder if he…’ He didn’t finish his thought before mentally scolding himself. ‘No! Don’t think that way, Sawamura. It’s like you don’t trust him. He’s okay. If he wasn’t, he would’ve texted me,’ he continued to reassure himself.

As if the world was mocking him, his phone buzzed. He grabbed it and as his eyes scanned the message, his heart stopped.

Suga [1:04am] : Daivhi.. hrlp

He didn’t hesitate before jumping up and running out of the house. He didn’t even think to wear his shoes or a jacket. All he thought about was Suga.

‘No no no no no. Please be okay, please be okay!’

He ignored the cold wind biting his exposed arms. He ignored the gravel digging into his feet. He pulled out his phone and tried calling Suga. 

It went straight to voicemail.

‘I’m almost there. Hold on Suga, I’m coming.’

After what seemed like forever, Daichi finally saw the familiar house. He forced his legs to keep going. He burst through the front door and called out Suga’s name.

No reply.

He ran around the house frantically until he finally found him in his bed. Daichi continued to walk into Suga’s bedroom, but he just laid motionless.

[TRIGGER WARNING]

His eyes scanned the room until he saw the tissues on the floor and scattered on the blanket. They were all red. He immediately rushed to Suga, checking his pulse. ‘It’s weak, it’s barely there. But it’s still there. I can still save him,’ it was taking all of him not to break down.

He shook Suga, begging him to wake up. When he didn’t respond, Daichi looked at Suga’s arms. The bleeding hadn’t stopped. Tears fell as he took off his shirt and put pressure on his arms. He prayed again that it would stop, that Suga would wake up.

‘I can’t lose you. I know it’s selfish, but you keep me going too. So please, please give me a sign that you’re still here. Please come back to me,’ he silently begged.

Nothing. After 5 minutes, there was still nothing.

Daichi couldn’t hold it in anymore. He let the tears continue falling as he loosened his grip on the shirt around Suga’s arm. 

At the same time, Suga was slipping in and out of consciousness. He felt cold despite the thick blanket covering the rest of his body. He could hear Daichi, and he felt his heart break.

‘I’m sorry, Sawamura. You don’t deserve this,’ he thought.

He wanted so badly to call out to Daichi, to wipe his tears away and hug him. He felt guilty that Daichi had to go through the pain of seeing his best friend in this state. Suga never meant for this to happen. He thought he was getting better, he really did. He wanted to make Daichi proud, but some things just get heavier the longer you carry them. 

He knew he should’ve talked to Daichi when it got too much, but he didn’t want to burden his best friend. At that moment, he thought about how selfish he was really being. He constantly pushed his best friend away despite him always waiting with open arms, waiting for him to come back home.

Home.

Suga tried one last time to open his eyes, move a finger, let out a whisper, to do anything to let Daichi know he was still there.

And Daichi felt Suga squeeze his hand.

He shot up from the floor and he saw Suga slowly cracking open his eyes.

‘You’re still here, thank God you’re still here.’

Suga’s voice broke, “I’m sorry.” Daichi smiled through his tears and didn’t say anything as he hugged Suga tightly. “There’s no need to be sorry, I understand.”

Suga’s heart ached. ‘He’s not mad… Even after I broke my promise, he’s not angry, he’s not blaming me.’

Just then, Suga felt everything at once. The cold wind coming in from the window, the pain in his arm, the tears from Daichi wetting his shoulder, Daichi’s heartbeat against his own. His body started shaking and he started crying as well.

After a few minutes, Daichi helped Suga clean and wrap his arms up and get rid of the tissues around the floor. Once all that was done, Suga weakly tugged at Daichi’s shirt. “Sawamura, can you stay?”

Daichi smiled as he got into bed beside Suga. “Of course. I’d never leave you.”

He wrapped his arm around Daichi’s torso and laid his head on his chest. Suga could still hear Daichi’s rapid heartbeat. 

“I’m sor-” Daichi cut him off. “If you apologise again, I will push you off your own bed.”

The both of them let out soft chuckles and Daichi tightened his grip on Suga.

‘I broke my promise. I’m sorry Suga. I’m sorry if you felt alone again.’

“You don’t have to apologise, Koushi. I understand that it’s not easy recovering and staying clean. I can’t say I know how you feel, because I don’t. I can’t even imagine what you’re feeling now. But I just want to remind you that I’m always here for you no matter what,” Daichi whispered as he played with Suga’s hair. “You don’t have to tell me why you did it if you don’t want to. I’ll stay for as long as you need me to.”

After that, they laid in silence, and eventually, they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

_____________________

Suga stayed home for the entire weekend with Daichi by his side. They watched movies, ate their favourite food, stargazed on Suga’s roof, and just talked.

By the time they reached the school Sunday evening to go to Tokyo, Suga had begun to feel better, but Daichi was still wary and continued to keep an eye on him. Coach Ukai, Mr. Takeda and Kiyoko were already waiting by the bus.

As the Karasuno team made their way to Tokyo, the bus was full of noise instead of silence. Obviously, Nishinoya and Tanaka were the loudest. Daichi would shout at them a little here and there, but gave up when Suga joined in on the banter.

“Stop being such a strict dad and loosen up,” Suga jokingly nudged his shoulder. 

Daichi couldn’t help but notice the way Suga’s eyes crinkled whenever he laughed, how it sounded like the most comforting thing in the world, how being beside him just felt so right. 

After a couple hours, the bus fell silent as the noisy duo succumbed to their exhaustion. Suga was sleeping on Daichi’s shoulder, soft snores escaping his slightly open mouth. 

“I hope you’re at least having a good dream,” Daichi murmured as he rested his head on top of Suga’s. He listened to the sound of their heart beats slowly syncing with each other until it was just one sound. 

No matter how hard he tried, Daichi couldn’t stop thinking about how he could help Suga. He didn’t want to push his boundaries, but he also didn’t want to just sit back and watch Suga slowly break down. 

He then tried to remember the things they did together; things that could calm Suga down, things that brought a genuine smile to his face. 

Thinking about Suga smiling brought a smile to Daichi’s own face. He chuckled lightly as he played with Suga’s hair, thinking of the stupid things they did as freshmen. 

And in that moment, Daichi made a promise to always be there for Suga, no matter what. 

During the training camp, Suga was way more positive than usual; complimenting and motivating the team even more. 

Despite losing the majority of the practice matches, Suga’s optimism never failed to boost the team’s morale. He constantly praised everyone’s efforts, especially Kageyama’s. 

Daichi saw this as a good sign, or so he thought. 

He finally found out the real reason a week before the Spring Inter-High. 

_____________________

The pair had agreed to meet for an all-nighter at a cafe to study. When Daichi reached, there was no sign of his chaotic yet soft best friend. There wasn’t a text, either. 

He thought that Suga was just running late or his phone had died, but as the seconds ticked by, an uncomfortable feeling started spreading in his chest to his stomach. It was all too familiar, and all too alarming.

‘The last time I felt this… It was before he messaged me for help. Please be okay,’ he thought to himself as he pulled his phone out, as if another text for help would pop up. 

He glanced at the time. 

10.45pm. 

Suga was 45 minutes late. And he was almost never late.

Daichi’s instincts told him to run. To run all the way to Suga’s house. Because Suga wasn’t okay, because he needed help. 

So that’s what he did.

He ignored the stares from others around him as he grabbed his stuff and rushed out of the cafe. The only thing he could hear was his heartbeat syncing with his feet hitting the ground. He ran faster than he ever did.

He tried to call Suga’s phone while trying to figure out the fastest way to get to him.

When his calls were sent straight to voicemail for the third time in a row, he felt his heart threatening to jump out of his mouth. He continued sprinting towards a familiar house that wasn’t his, not being able to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach.

As he burst through Suga’s front door, he felt a sense of deja vu, and the house had suddenly become colder. Pushing the memory aside, he made a beeline to Suga’s room, praying that it wouldn’t be a repeat of last time; that maybe Suga just fell asleep from exhaustion and that’s why he wasn't picking up the phone. 

[TRIGGER WARNING]

As he cracked open his bedroom door, Daichi tried to prepare for the worst. But nothing could prepare him for what he saw next. 

Suga was on his bed, but no sign of red tissues. Just a pool below the arm hanging off the edge of the bed.

Daichi felt his heart stop. He couldn't move. He couldn’t process the scene in front of him.

He wanted to call out his name, to beg him to wake up, but his voice was caught in his throat. He wanted so badly to hold Suga in his arms, to shake him, to see his eyes open and hear his laugh again, but he was just frozen at the doorway.

Daichi didn’t feel the tears running down his face, he didn’t feel his legs give up, he didn’t feel his knees hit the floor, or the shouts leaving his mouth.

All he could think about was that Suga was gone.

He crawled to his lifeless body, taking his hand in his. Daichi let his head fall onto Suga’s unmoving shoulder, letting the realisation hit him.

Suga’s gone.

His home was gone.

He didn’t get to say goodbye.

He didn’t live up to his promise, about how he made sure that Suga would never feel alone again.

It might’ve been minutes, even hours since Daichi had his head on Suga’s shoulder, his knees to his chest, the love of his life’s hand in his. He didn’t care how long it had been, he didn’t want to leave Suga’s side even if he left Daichi’s long ago. 

Through the tears, he noticed a small piece of paper at the foot of the bed. It was small, but still big enough to look out of place.

Without letting go, he reached over and grabbed the thin piece of paper. It was an envelope, addressed to him.

His heart stopped as he took in Suga’s familiar handwriting. Every stroke, every line, every curve. 

After a few minutes, Daichi finally got the courage to carefully open it. His mind was racing with a million questions. Was this going to be a letter full of hatred? Sadness? Hurt?

He couldn’t stop his hands from shaking as he tore open the letter carefully, trying his best to avoid creating the jagged tears. He swore his heart stopped beating as he pulled out the folded piece of paper. 

He noticed the small, wet splotches scattered here and there. 

Suga cried while writing this letter to him. 

Despite all the memories the pair had made over the past 3 years, Daichi felt like this was truly the only thing from Suga he had. He knew he would never let it go. 

He drew in a shaky breath as he prepared to read Suga’s last words. 

Dear Daichi,

Stop crying! If I was there, I’d definitely hit you while screaming ‘negativity begone!’. I can’t say I understand how you’re feeling. Mad? Upset? Hurt? Maybe even betrayed? But whatever you’re feeling, I hope you don’t blame yourself. None of this is your fault. I know you did your best to be there for me, even at my lowest; and for that, I’m forever grateful. You stood by me through the good and bad. You never once gave up on me. When I said I wanted to quit, it was because of your faith in me. Faith that I could actually get through this. Faith that I was stronger than I thought I was. I never understood what home meant until that night. All my life, I thought home was a place with four walls. A place where you live, and whenever you’d leave, you’d have someone waiting for you. I finally realised that home doesn’t have to be a place; because your arms weren’t four walls. Your arms would always be there waiting for me to come back if I ever left. So Sawamura Daichi, thank you for being my home; my lifeline. I never meant for this to happen, for you to go through this, but I finally decided that there’s another home that I want to go back to. I’m sorry Daichi, I got tired and I wanted to rest. I want to thank you and everyone else for making my last week so amazing. Seeing you guys grow at such an incredible pace assured me that you’d all be fine without me. Thank you for always being there for me, for loving me when I couldn’t even love myself, for always being a reminder that life was worth living. Don’t worry, I’ll always be watching over you and the team, and I’ll always be cheering you guys on no matter what. Please, make it to the nationals; not for me, but for yourself and Asahi. 

I love you, Sawamura Daichi. 

Koushi Sugawara 

The last line was the final straw; the final punch to the gut. It registered that he’d never be able to say those three words to Suga, nor would he ever be able to hear the same words from him. 

Daichi thought back to all the chances he had, but never took. All those nights at the garden, walking back home, the all-nighters at the cafe, the study sessions at the library. 

If he could go back in time, he would take all those chances to look Suga in the eyes and say “I love you”. He would create more chances for the both of them to utter those three words. He would spend as much time as he could, and hold him as close and as long as he could. He would run his fingers through Suga’s hair and spend countless nights falling asleep together. He would find a way to go to space and capture all the stars just for Suga. 

It was probably a few more hours before Daichi finally decided to get up and clean the mess before doing whatever else was necessary. 

As he watched the love of his life get taken away on a stretcher, he made one last promise to Suga; they were going to nationals even if it’s the last thing they do. 

_____________________

Daichi mentally prepared himself before entering the gym. He had no idea how the team would react to the news. Once more, he hoped for the best but prepared for the worst as he slid open the doors. 

The noise and banter immediately halted as the rest of the team took note of their captain’s red, puffy eyes and defeated demeanour. They also noticed the lack of his other half trailing in beside him. 

Five. 

They counted five seconds of silence and no Suga. 

Five seconds and no chaotic energy. 

Five seconds before Daichi’s weak voice echoed throughout the gym. 

“Suga… He… He’s gone.”

Five more seconds passed. 

One ; Daichi’s words bounced off the walls. 

Two ; The words entered everyone else’s ears. 

Three ; They tried to comprehend it. 

Four ; It finally registered. 

Five ; That’s when it hit them, all of them, all at once. 

Asahi was speechless. The juniors broke down in tears. The freshmen were stunned, not knowing how to react. It was clear on Kageyama’s face, but before he could blame himself for being one of the reasons, Daichi gave him a look. 

A look that said, “it wasn’t your fault, if anything, he was extremely proud of you.”

That was all it took for Kageyama to let his pride crumble and finally let his emotions take over. He couldn’t help but feel like he was one of the causes why. He still couldn’t help but blame himself.

No one said anything as their cries echoed throughout the gym. 

They knew that nothing would be the same again.

_____________________

Karasuno finally made it to the nationals.

As the whistle sounded signifying the end of the Karasuno and Shiratorizawa, both Daichi and Asahi hugged each other in tears.

‘We did it, we made it to nationals for you, Suga. I hope you’re proud of us.’

Ever since the team received the news on Suga, they collectively made a pact to continue fighting for him.

As Daichi and Asahi continued hugging, they swore they felt one more person joining the duo.

And they knew he was watching over them, no doubt having his proud, motherly smile occupying his lips.

Before each and every match of the Spring Interhigh Qualifiers, the team would take a moment to honour Suga.

And as soon as it was time to start the match, Daichi would let his voice and his words be heard by the audience.

“Karasuno, fight! For Suga!”

_____________________

It was the end of the first day of nationals. Daichi sighed as he glanced at the barely visible clock hanging on the wall. His eyes could barely make out the hands pointing to 12:03. He turned to his teammates who were sleeping peacefully despite the uncertainty that the next day would bring.

Giving in to his impulsive mind, he got up soundlessly and threw on his jacket and slippers before sliding out the door, being careful not to wake anyone up. He decided that a walk would be able to clear his head and help him fall asleep faster.

As he started to pace aimlessly, his mind brought him back to Suga. Would things be different if he were here? Would everyone still be on edge even with Suga calming them down? Would Coach Ukai have been able to think of different strategies with Suga’s help? 

Daichi felt like he was walking for a good few minutes, but as he took in his surroundings, he realised he was lost. He was so consumed by his thoughts that he hadn’t realised that he probably made a wrong turn.

He let out a huff as he started to think of retracing his steps when a tiny garden caught his eye. He contemplated for a few moments before he felt himself slowly grow closer. Maybe it was because he missed the Garden of Hope, but he knew no other garden could replace it. 

Either way, he took a seat on one of the benches and continued to reminisce his fondest moments at the Garden with Suga.

Daichi plucked a flower that Suga was busy admiring. Too busy admiring to even listen to what Daichi was ranting about. The moment the delicate object was removed from Suga’s eyesight, he gasped and looked at Daichi with a playful pout.

The latter just laughed as he tucked the flower behind his best friend’s ear as a joke. “Suga, what a pretty boy you are,” he joked as Suga’s pout remained. Right after that, Suga chided Daichi on how he was killing flowers and how ‘heartless’ he could be to the flower’s family members.

At that moment, all Daichi could think about was how truly pretty Suga looked.

“If you were a flower, I’d kill you first because the prettiest always get plucked first,” he’d laugh.

And he wanted to freeze time when he saw Suga blush and stutter. It was the first time Daichi had finally seen some colour in his partner’s face after weeks.

If only he told him he loves him instead of saying that.

“Well, all I know is that flowers can cheer anyone up, no matter who they’re from. I mean if I got flowers from my worst enemy, I’d still hate them, don’t get me wrong. But it would definitely make me feel better somehow,” Suga trailed off as he laid back down on the grass.

Daichi hadn’t realised that Suga was already talking about something else other than ‘killing flowers’.

‘Only you could turn something so ugly into something beautiful,’ he thought as he continued staring at the figure laying beside him, eyes twinkling from the stars.

Daichi was taken back to reality as he felt the salty tears rolling down his cheeks and falling onto his fingers.

Fuck. Why was the world so unfair?

He didn’t hold back as he finally let his pain and anger out. He shouted at the moon, seemingly mocking him.

The same moon they used to gaze up at.

The same moon he talked to about Suga.

The same moon who knew the words that Suga never got to hear.

The same moon right in the middle of the stars.

The stars that Suga joined.

Daichi felt his heart ache as he continued to question the world. Why did it have to take Suga away from him so soon? What did he do to deserve this? Was it because he wasn’t doing enough to help him? Was it because he didn’t deserve to have so amazing beside him?

And it finally hit him that he never got to tell Suga that he loves him. He knew it all along, but he only comprehended it now. He felt his heart tear even more as he gripped the edge of the bench, trying to pull himself back to reality.

He felt overwhelmed, like he needed to get it out of his system, so he shouted into the dark that he loves Suga; that he’s sorry.

He shouted until his voice gave out, until his throat burned and begged for water, until his vision went blurry. He shouted as loud as he could, hoping the moon and stars would hear him one last time, hoping that one of the stars was Suga listening.

As his voice quieted to soft sobs interrupted by hiccups, Daichi felt the wind around him pick up. The cold he initially felt was replaced by warmth. The same warmth that Suga’s hugs brought. 

The same warmth that felt like home.

The same hugs that felt like home.

He continued sitting there, trying to remember the way the warmth wrapped around him, silently reassuring him that things would be okay. 

Once he’d finally calmed down, he made his way back to his room at the accommodation. He silently slipped in once again, avoiding all the creaks and unstable boards. 

Before he could get past the first few beds, he noticed something sitting on the desk by the door. As he tiptoed closer, he realised it was a bunch of flowers arranged neatly, with a folded card right in the middle. He didn’t have to open it to figure out who it came from.

His eyes welled up with tears as he slowly made his way to the desk, his hand shaking as he picked up and opened the card. After his eyes scanned over it, he couldn’t hold back the tears once more and let them fall freely.

‘Good job for making it past the first day, my love. It only gets harder from here, but I believe in the team, especially you, captain :). Thank you for fighting for me, now get some rest and prepare for tomorrow; I bet you’re exhausted. I love you Daichi, and good luck <3 - Suga’

What Daichi or the rest of the team didn’t know was that before he left, Suga had a feeling they would make it to Nationals. So he went to the florist in advance and arranged for certain bouquets of flowers with corresponding cards at the end of each day.

As he clutched the card in his trembling hands, Daichi finally realised what home truly was.

Home is where you feel safe; happy. Home is where you feel love, healing, comfort. Home can be a person, or place, or thing. Home doesn’t have to be four walls. Home doesn’t have to be the place you live in. 

And so Daichi softly smiles as he accepts the fact that Suga was truly home because he wasn’t suffering anymore.

That even though Daichi lost his home, he knew he’d be okay because at least Suga finally knows what home truly feels like.

[eskalations]

It wasn't until nearly a month after the birth of their second daughter that Roy and Riza began questioning if they had bitten off more than they could chew.

A series of oneshots documenting the life and times of the Amestrian First Family.

A/N: I REALLY struggled with writing this chapter. I don't know WHAT it was but I was seriously dragging my feet with this one. Regardless, I hope you enjoy it. I try to keep Roy and Riza as in character as possible, but with two children added into their dynamic, I feel like things just inevitably end up changing.

Please let me know what you thought of this chapter! Comments and kudos truly make my day!

~

It wasn't until nearly a month after the birth of their second daughter that Roy and Riza began questioning if they had bitten off more than they could chew.

Winter was still in full swing in Central. With the solstice only a few days away, children littered the streets with wide eyes and mittens, skipping to the park as if unaffected by the dreadful chill. Their parents followed closely behind them, sharing grins at the youth's enthusiasm in the face of the bitter cold. It was a delightful sight.

Despite this, Roy Mustang couldn't help but scowl at the scene as it played out from beyond the windows of his home.

Usually the solstice was a time of great cheer in their house. Once Elizabeth had made an appearance in their lives, Roy and Riza found themselves enjoying the festivities that surrounded the holiday season. With a child now in their home, they had taken to decorating the house and purchasing small gifts to celebrate the day of cheer – something they had never done before in the entirety of their relationship. With another daughter now brought into the world, they figured these celebrations were only going to become livelier.

That was until the flu struck their house.

After the birth of her sister, Elizabeth had returned to daycare for a short time. With Roy gone back to work and Riza working from home, the parents simply could not juggle both a near toddler and newborn baby during the day. They thought this would be a good idea, since this would keep Elizabeth on schedule, and she would get to enjoy the winter season with her friends. However, they were wrong – very wrong.

Upon being picked up on her last day of daycare before the break for the solstice holiday, Elizabeth came down with a slight sniffle. Neither Roy or Riza thought much of it, noting the cold temperatures outside and theorizing that possibly the chilly weather had just caused her nose to run.

Then the fever started.

By the time Roy was able to take Elizabeth to the doctor, it was painfully obvious that the young girl had come down with the flu – and a rather nasty case of it, too. The doctor had warned them to be sure to keep the two sisters apart, but the damage had already been done.

Once Mae started sniffling, they knew they were in trouble.

Lucky for them, Mae's case was not as severe as Elizabeth's. However, having two young children ill at the same time, was putting their parenting skills to the ultimate test.

With Roy still having to work during the day, Riza was mostly on her own with the two girls. The dark bags under her eyes and pallor of her skin was proof enough that she was starting to feel a bit overwhelmed. That's why, upon his arrival home in the afternoon, Roy immediately jumped into action.

"Elizabeth's fever is up again." Riza bounced Mae up and down in her arms, trying to get the infant to stop crying. The young girl's cheeks were flushed with fever. "Mae's is also higher than it has been for the past few days."

Roy gave his wife a sympathetic look, watching as she shushed the baby in her arms. "You look like you haven't gotten much rest today."

Riza huffed, the sound imitating a weak laugh. "Well, I certainly didn't get any work done. Neither of the girls took naps so I've been back and forth all day."

Roy could tell his wife was beginning to feel out of her element. The hair she usually styled carefully every morning, poured out of a clip settled behind her head in a frizzy, blonde mess. She hadn't even bothered to change out of loungewear before starting her day. She was still wearing the long sleeve cotton shirt and pajama pants that she had been wearing when they had gone to bed the night before.

Noting the look of exhaustion on her features, the man stepped forward to give her a kiss on the forehead, careful not to disturb the screaming infant. Riza melted into his embrace, resting her tired body against his sturdy frame. Roy nuzzled his nose into her hair and inhaled before stepping back, his warm palms firm on her upper arms.

"I'm going to fix up some broth for Elizabeth and something light for you and I." Roy's hand came up to brush a few errant strands of blonde hair away from her face. "Let me take Mae while I cook and you can stay with Elizabeth."

Since their daughter hadn't greeted him upon his entrance into the home, the man assumed she was still bed bound as she had been when he had left earlier that morning.

Roy expected Riza to fight against the arrangement. Ever since Mae had been born, mother and daughter had been inseparable. It was quite different from when Elizabeth had first come home, but Roy figured it was because Mae was more colicky than Elizabeth had ever been.

Grateful for any help she could get, Riza passed the warm bundle of blankets to her husband. "I just fed and burped her but she didn't keep much down. Let me know when she starts fussing, so I can try to get her to nurse again."

Roy nodded, giving his wife a mock salute. "Yes sir!"

The woman rolled her eyes at the Fuhrer's actions. "Thank you, Roy."

Her husband simply smiled in response.

Dinner was much more difficult than it usually was. Between a squirming Mae, howling in her mother's arms and a fussy Elizabeth, who still refused to eat her meals, the two parents were about ready to call it quits. Luckily, Elizabeth was able to take a few spoonful's of broth in the end, but still gagged while swallowing them.

With the girls' temperatures, up so high, Riza suggested giving them both a cold bath. While the medicine the doctor had given them to battle the illness was supposed to fight the other symptoms, the one thing it wasn't helping with was the fever. Thus, why the physician had suggested the cold bath option when the girls' temperatures got too high.

Roy decided that said physician had never been tasked with getting two very sick girls into a very cold bath. You would have thought a war had broken out in their bathroom from the shrieks the two children were letting out. Roy sincerely worried that the two bodyguards who were on duty that night were going to report them if they kept screaming so loudly.

"No! No!" Elizabeth kept repeating as Roy attempted to lower her feet into the water, her small toes barely grazing the top of its surface. Her fingernails dug into the fabric of his button down as she fought to hold on to him. "Too cold, Daddy! Too cold!"

Roy sighed, holding her to his chest once more. "Lizzie, I know it's cold – but you're fever's too high. After this, you'll be able to sleep better."

"No…" The young girl whined, her sweet voice raspy by the stuffiness of her nose and the swollen glands of her throat. "It's too cold."

"It has to be cold, Lizzie. It's going to make you feel better."

While Roy argued with their five-year-old, Riza fought her own battle with their newborn daughter.

With a basin in the bath to better situate the baby, Riza had lowered the young girl into the cold water only to be met with flailing limbs and frustrated squeaks. Kneeling on the floor beside the porcelain tub, Riza carefully maneuvered herself over the side to hold on to the squirming infant.

Mae's squeaks soon turned into full on sobs as her mother took a wash rag and dripped the cold water over her heaving stomach. Riza tried to comfort the child, but it only seemed to make things worse. "It's okay, Mae. I know it doesn't feel good."

At the sound of her sister's cries, Elizabeth's cries seemed to get louder as well.

"Lizzie," Roy was still arguing with Elizabeth next to his wife, trying his best to pry her legs from around his waist. "The quicker you get in, the quicker you can get out."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!" Roy was finally able to loosen her grip from around his waist. "Lizzie, no more arguing. You have to take a bath."

With that, the father set her feet into the tub with her hands still hanging on tightly to his shoulders. For a sick child, she had quite a grip on her.

"No, Daddy!" She continued to howl as her father worked to pry her fingers from his shirt. Within a few moments, he was able to free himself from her death-hold. "I don't wanna!"

Gripping the girl's wrists gently, Roy forced the her to sit down in the cold water. At such treatment, Elizabeth began to mimic her sister's actions and started to flail her arms, sending water flying out of the confines of the tub. Riza, as quick thinking as she was, placed her hand out as a barrier to keep the water from hitting Mae.

"Elizabeth!" Roy's voice echoed off the bathroom tile. He rarely used such an authoritative tone on his daughter, but his frustration was reaching an all-time high. Elizabeth, at the sound of her name coming from her father's lips, froze in the middle of her tantrum. "Do not splash while your sister is in the bath! You don't want to hurt her, do you?"

The five-year-old stared up at the man for a few moments before turning to look at her little sister, almost as though she had forgotten she was even there.

Roy breathed a sigh of relief, settling himself on his knees beside the tub.

Then, Elizabeth released a loud sob.

"I'm so sorry Mae Mae!" The girl wailed, her hands coming up to cover her eyes, the cold temperature of the water forgotten. "I didn't mean to hurt you!"

Riza hurried to placate her daughter. "You didn't hurt the baby, Elizabeth. Daddy just didn't want you splashing her and getting her upset." She didn't bother to mention that Mae had rarely had a moment that day where she wasn't crying, so the splashing of the water really wasn't going to make much difference.

Elizabeth, as sensitive as she was, continued to wail.

"I don't want to make her sad!"

Roy sighed. "Lizzie, stop crying. No one is sad."

"Mae Mae is!" She pointed at her sister, who was still sat crying in the basin as her mother poured water over her fine blonde hair.

"She's not sad, she just doesn't like the cold." Roy, following Riza's lead, grabbed a small cup on the side of the bath and ran the water over Elizabeth's long dark hair.

As if remembering where she was, Elizabeth looked down at the water surrounding her.

Then the cries started again.

"Daddy, it's too cold!"

Roy groaned. It was going to be a long night.

~

Once the girls' were out of the bath, their parents were eager to check their temperatures once more. With Elizabeth now bundled in a fluffy towel, Roy held out the thermometer for her to place under her tongue. Still shivering even after drying off, Elizabeth complied.

While he was waiting on Elizabeth's temperature, Riza busied herself with Mae. After resting in the water for awhile, the infant had finally calmed long enough for her mother to wash her. Now, cozy within the confines of her own towel, the newborn cooed as her mother placed a thermometer under her arm.

Roy sat Elizabeth down in the nursery rocking chair so that he could check the red liquid within the glass. Upon reading the number, he released a frustrated groan.

"Riza," He picked up Elizabeth once more, the young girl going willingly into his arms, now tired from both her bath and her lingering fever. "Her temperature is still up."

"Give her one last dose of medicine for the night." The mother advised, reading the thermometer under the infant's arm. Obviously, her results were better than her sister's, since Riza breathed a sigh of relief at the number. "Elizabeth can have one more dose than Mae."

Roy nodded, following his wife's instructions.

"I don't want any more," Elizabeth moaned into her father's shoulder, clinging tightly to him. Her little fingers pulled at the dark hair on the back of his neck, causing him to wince in slight pain as he unscrewed the cap of the medicine. "It tastes gross."

The Fuhrer sighed, quite unused to having to argue with his child. Elizabeth was usually so well-behaved, albeit emotional, but anytime she was sick, her willful nature seemed to creep forward. Roy knew it was from not feeling well and being exhausted – however, it was no less tiring for him to have to deal with it.

"Lizzie, this is what's going to help you get better faster." Roy held her close to his chest, resting his back against the kitchen counter. "Even Mae has taken her medicine today."

"I did, too!" Elizabeth insisted, resting her warm forehead against the fabric of his chest. Roy placed one hand on the back of her head, comforting her as well as he could.

"I know, but you have to take one more dose since you're bigger than Mae." The young girl moaned once more in despair, her misery causing her father's heart to break a bit more. Placing a kiss on her forehead, Roy gently nudged the side of her face to get her to look at him. "Please, one more and then we can go put our pajamas on and go to bed."

"Can I sleep with you and mommy?"

"Yes," Roy replied without hesitation. "But you need to take your medicine first."

At the promise of getting to cuddle with her mother and father, Elizabeth was much more compliant. Without much more than a grimace and gag, the young child accepted the spoonful of medicine and hurriedly drank a cup of milk to rid herself of the taste.

As Roy helped her change into her pajamas, it occurred to him that perhaps the reason she was acting out so severely while sick was because of the amount of attention her new sibling was getting.

While Elizabeth loved on her sister constantly and begged for cuddles upon her return from school in the afternoons, both Roy and Riza had noticed that the girl had become a bit more difficult when it came to meal time and bedtime. It was almost as if she felt like when she came home from school, it was her time to get the attention rather than Mae's.

Riza had tried to explain to the girl that babies needed more attention when they were as little as Mae, but to Elizabeth, this reasoning held very little logic. All she knew was that, where she had once gotten all the attention, she now only received a part of it.

Roy knew that letting her sleep with them for the night was probably only going to add fuel to the fire, but he didn't really care at the moment. He would rather have a peaceful night with both his daughters by his side, then have them crying loudly from the nursery down the hall.

The tug of a little hand broke Roy from his thoughts. Elizabeth gazed up at him in expectantly.

"Daddy?" She asked sweetly, her little hand tugging at his still damp shirt. That was the last time he was helping out with bath time in his nice clothes. "Can I wear my pink pajamas?"

Roy looked down at the long sleeve shirt in his hands. It was blue - just like the matching bottoms that he had already helped her put on.

"But you already have the blue ones on – " Roy thought better of arguing with the young child as her lip began to wobble. Resigned to his fate, he set the blue shirt down. "Of course, you can wear the pink ones."

Although he was exhausted from a long day of Xing trade talks, Elizabeth's sweet smile at his words had a grin growing on his face as well.

Oh, how he loved his girls.

Once Elizabeth was changed into her pink pajamas, Roy carried her into the master suite where Riza was already in bed. With her back resting against the headboard, the woman cradled her youngest child close as she suckled at her breast. Even from his spot at the door, he could hear the stuffy breaths escaping from the small infant's nose.

"Mommy!" Elizabeth wiggled out of her father's arms. Once her feet were on the ground, the young girl ran to her mother's side of the bed. Coming up behind her, Roy lifted her on to the mattress, far from the suckling baby.

"Hi Elizabeth." The woman looked up from Mae to glance over at her husband as he walked into the closet to get ready for bed, frustration evident in her eyes. "Are you going to be joining us tonight?"

"Yes!" Elizabeth nodded excitedly, scooting closer to her mother. The girl's dark eyes danced as she looked down at her little sister. "Daddy said I could since I took my medicine!"

At the look of love on the girl's still flushed face, Riza couldn't bring herself to argue. "Alright, but you have to promise to go to sleep. Daddy has work tomorrow, so we have to make sure to be quiet so he can rest."

Elizabeth nodded, settling her head against her mother's shoulder so she could continue to watch the baby. Riza turned her head towards her, lips grazing the young girl's forehead. The mother was happy to note that, at the moment, the girl felt a bit cooler to the touch.

Roy exited the closet, wearing a robe paired with a loose-fitting shirt and pajama pants. Crossing over to his side of the bed, he removed his robe before laying it across one of the reading chairs. Finally, ready to turn down for the night, the man comically fell on to the mattress, prompting a giggle from Elizabeth and a small smile from Riza.

When Riza looked backed towards Mae, the infant had released her breast and was close to snoozing against the warmth of her mother's skin. The woman pulled down her night shirt, before laying the baby over her shoulder, patting her back to see if she could coax forth one more burp.

"Daddy?" Elizabeth drew Roy's attention away from his wife, her wide eyes shiny from the still lingering fever. "I'm cold."

The girl had been suffering from chills for the past few days and there was only one thing that she knew would warm her up.

Roy opened his arms, inviting Elizabeth to crawl on to his chest and snuggle into his warmth. The girl eagerly obliged, sighing contently against the fabric of his shirt as he pulled the covers over the both of them.

On the other side of the bed, Riza had just finished burping Mae and was carefully placing her into the bassinet that they had temporarily moved into the room. With Mae having both colic and the flu, the two parents found it easier to keep her by their side in the dark hours of night rather than in the nursery down the hall.

With Mae tucked in snuggly, Riza turned back to the rest of her family that lay in the bed. Seeing their expectant looks, she released a short laugh before switching off the light beside her. Roy soon followed suit with the light that lay on his side.

For a few moments, with the moon as their only witness, the family relaxed and enjoyed the peace that had finally descended over their household. With Mae already snoozing and her temperature down, the only thing they had to worry about disturbing their sleep was Elizabeth.

However, when Roy looked down at her pale face, snuggled deep into his chest, he began to think that even she may be able to make it through the night. Already, in the warmth of her father's arms, her shivers had stopped and hopefully within a few hours the sweats would begin.

"Roy?"

The man in question glanced up from his daughter's features to instead look at his wife. He was surprised to find a sad look on her face.

"What's wrong?"

Riza chuckled dryly at his question. "What's not wrong?"

The woman turned on her side, propping herself up on to an elbow. Reaching out, her slender fingers began to play with a dark strand of Elizabeth's hair. Roy watched as an array of emotions played across her features – guilt, sadness, fear, uncertainty – they were all there, just as if he were watching a film.

"Do you think we can do this?" Riza asked quietly, eyes still focused in on Elizabeth.

Roy's brow rose. "What do you mean?"

"Parenting."

Roy smirked at the word. "You're about five years too late on that question."

Had Elizabeth not been resting on his chest, Riza would have swatted at him. The cheeky look on his face was enough to have her rolling her eyes. The man just never changed.

"No." Riza glanced back at where Mae slept, cocooned in her own little bed. "I mean parenting the two of them."

Roy gave her a sideways glance. "At this point – we really don't have a choice."

Again, Riza gave him an exasperated look. The woman looked so different from the former sniper he had once knew that it was hard not to chuckle at the sight. However, his amusement soon ended when Elizabeth made a low noise of discontent, before turning her face in the opposite direction.

Roy patted the young girl's back until he felt like she had settled again. Turning his attention back to Riza, he noticed the shiny look of sadness still lingered in her eyes.

"Riza," Roy made sure to keep his voice quiet, aware of the two sleeping girls that were currently sharing the room. "Kids get sick. This isn't the first time Elizabeth has been sick and it probably won't be the last. We just have to get through it as best as we can."

"I just feel guilty." The woman ran a gentle hand over her daughter's back, warm fingertips searching for those of her husband. Together, their hands lay clasped over the girl's back. "Ever since Mae's been born; I feel like Elizabeth is feeling left out."

"She knows babies need more attention." Roy reasoned, his thumb massaging the skin of the back of his wife's hand. "It's an adjustment."

Riza was silent for a moment and Roy could tell that she was debating whether to share what else was on her mind. Knowing his wife, she had been burying something within herself for so long, that finally – under the stress of taking care of two sick children – she was about ready to burst.

"I just never thought I was going to be a mother." Riza admitted, her gaze never leaving their joined hands.

Roy waited in silence, encouraging her to continue.

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing it right at all." She looked up at her husband, her light amber eyes shining with no longer repressed emotions. "I don't think I was made to be a mother and that's why I never know what to do."

Roy couldn't believe what he was hearing. He wanted her to speak her thoughts, but he never wanted her to think that he agreed with them.

"You're an amazing mother, Riza." The man argued, trying hard to keep his voice down. "I've never thought any differently. Just because you're stressed from having two sick kids, doesn't make you a bad parent. Everyone goes through this."

"I had to call Gracia for advice today." Riza admitted, as though she hadn't heard anything of what he said. "I didn't know how to get Mae to stop throwing up every time I fed her and finally I just had to ask someone else."

Roy stared at her incredulously.

"Riza," He spoke slowly, squeezing her hand tightly in his, demanding that she meet his gaze as he spoke. "It's okay to ask for help. You don't have to know those things automatically. You didn't act like this when Elizabeth was sick the first few times – what's bringing this on now?"

"I don't know," The woman muttered sadly, sinking further into her pillows. At such an uncharacteristic sight, Roy could feel his heart break. "I just – I don't know. I was fine asking for help the first time, but now I get so upset with myself over it. Maybe it's the hormones."

This concerned Roy greatly. "Have you spoken to the doctor about this?"

"No…"

"Riza!" Roy wanted to yell, but held himself back in case it woke their two slumbering children. "This isn't something you keep to yourself."

"It's just not like me, Roy." The woman buried her face in her pillow, the movement causing her messy, blonde bangs to frizz further. "I just don't feel like myself and I'm scared it's going to affect the way I parent."

Roy reached an arm out to his wife, gesturing for her to snuggle into his side. After a moment's hesitation, she finally scooted forward, careful to not disturb their sleeping daughter who still lay on her father's chest. With one hand still holding tightly to her's, Roy pulled her close and wrapped a strong arm around her.

"I spoke with Dr. Knox when we first found out you were pregnant with Mae." Roy admitted quietly, tangling his free hand into his wife's hair. Her usually brushed locks were tangled in several different places, deepening the concern he had felt building for her over the past few days. This just wasn't like her. "His wife had their son late in life and he warned me that you might suffer from strange moods after the birth. He told me to watch you and to always ask if you were doing okay. I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner."

"Roy," Riza released a long sigh, nestling her face into the area between his shoulder and his neck. "You're busy. You have the trade arrangements with Xing to worry about and a couple hundred more things that you need to stay focused on. I don't want you worrying about me. I'm fine."

"You're obviously not."

"But I am." Riza insisted, tilting her head up so she could meet his worried gaze. "I'm sorry to have brought any of this up. I guess talking to Gracia today and then dealing with the nightmare that was bath time – it just has me stressed."

Roy didn't look convinced. "It didn't sound like those were just spur of the moment thoughts. Please, talk to me."

The woman shook her head, pulling away from her husband. "Roy, you have work tomorrow and need your rest. I'll call the doctor in the morning and tell her how I'm feeling."

Sensing that his wife was beginning to close off from him, Roy drew her back to his side. "I didn't mean to upset you; I just want to help you. I don't want you thinking you're a bad mother when you're most certainly not."

Riza fought against his hold for a moment, before finally giving in and letting him settle her against his chest.

"The Madam never expected that she would become a mother." Roy's comment had Riza looking up, surprise written across her features. The man continued with a small smile. "But she was the best mother I could have ever asked for."

Riza had to admit, he had a point. "Yes, she was."

"So, why do you have to be the perfect mother in order to be the best mother to our daughters?"

Riza hated to admit when Roy began to make sense, but still she couldn't fight off the lingering doubt that still lay within her chest.

"I guess…" Riza trailed off, not quite sure how to answer her husband's question. "I guess, I don't have to be."

Roy smiled. "No you don't. No one's perfect – except me."

The comment had his wife rolling her eyes. "Yeah, that's what you think."

The man chuckled at her dry response, drawing her in closer so that he could nuzzle his nose in her hair. Mae would be due for a feed in a few hours, so he was going to enjoy this time he had snuggled up to his wife before the baby's cries had the woman leaving the comfort of his embrace.

"I may still call the doctor though."

Roy smiled, his lips brushing the skin of her forehead in the form of a soft kiss. He knew Riza hated sharing her emotions with anyone, so for her to share these feelings with a doctor would be a huge step in the right direction.

"I think that's a good idea."

The room went silent for a few minutes and Roy could have sworn his wife had fallen asleep – that was until he heard her quiet voice whisper in his ear.

"Roy?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

The man could feel a sleepy smile bloom across his features.

"You're welcome."

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.8

Shopping with Shiro was god awkward. Being a local, everyone was too damn cheerful as they did polite thing and say hello, some asking who Shiro was, and another pondering the question which would lead to rumours at a later date. Lance didn’t like to brag, but he was pretty well known in Garrison for making a “haunted house” his home. There weren’t any ghosts there, only the long dead skeletons of rats and mice, and the occasional spot of mould. He was also well known as being a bit “odd”, 26 with no partner struck some of the older community as a bit strange, as did the fact that he’d live in such a large home alone. Still, Lance blended himself in as seamlessly as he could. Earlier in the year he’d thought about picking up a few shifts at a local bar, only to change his mind over the fear of somehow cutting him and cursing the local drunks. Plus, people really sucked when they were drunk. He was more than likely to blow a fuse if he had to be flirted with every single damn shift simply because he looked at the peak of his youth.

Sticking to his usual routine of picking random things that he knew he could make a meal from, he found himself schooling Shiro in the ways of bulk savings, and discount brands. Shiro didn’t know how to process that he was a vampire who ate garlic... other foods in general. He really wasn’t living up to his role as a vampire at all, yet, despite how hard he tried not to, part of him decided it had to go and like Shiro as a person, despite the fact he’d clearly vandalised his own car and lied through his teeth when they’d met. Buying way too much food, the dude at the check out pretty much had bug eyes when it came to loading up the belt, because Lance never brought as much he was right then, then paying for it as Shiro insisted on placing the bags back in the trolley, as it was “the least he could do, all things considered”. Lance kept trying to consider him a pain, but now he was actually wondering if this had been how his family felt when he’d suddenly come back home different to the rest of them. He wanted to ring his Mami and ask her advice over the whole matter, but the idea of her baby boy living with two men who kill vampires for a living would send into a fit of hysterics over his safety.

Taking his keys from him, Shiro was good at insisting things. Insisting he needed his rest, and that he should cover his face so the sun’s rays wouldn’t burn up his skin. Shiro was fast feeling like a big brother that Lance had desperately wanted, but denied he needed. The fact that Shiro didn’t seem to want to murder him left him with all kinds of conflicted feelings that were too muddled to sort out. He was a vampire, Shiro was a hunter, that was the black and white of it, those damn shades of grey in between were making all of this far more difficult than it needed to be.

A tad too proud of an inanimate object, his bronco was a good girl, not starting for Shiro until the third time he tried to turn over the engine. Not used to the closeness of the H on the clutch, Shiro ground the gears more than once, then proceeded to bunny hop over that damn ditch in Lance’s driveway. Forget Shiro being the older brother, he was giving Lance’s younger self a run for his money, though his problem had been that even at accelerated speeds things seemed slower than the normal speed limit. His glasses helped with that, as had keeping the one car for his adult life. Bunny hopping to a stop in front of Lance’s house, Shiro shot him an embarrassed look, Lance quick to reassure him he wasn’t about to tell anyone over the mistreatment of his beloved girl.

Getting the shopping inside was a whole other drama as he wasn’t allowed to help with that either. Sent to his living room, he found Shiro had made himself at home, cleaning up the trashed remains into something more put together yet nowhere near Lance’s high standards. He still needed a new coffee table, provided he’d be living long enough to enjoy it. With that room not needing dire attention, Lance found himself in his kitchen, not trusting Shiro to be near any open fire unsupervised. The clock already read 4:30pm, a little, lot, later than he would have liked the time to be. Lugging the last of the shopping bags in, Shiro hefted a sigh of relief before dropping himself down in the first available dining chair. Boy, if the man thought things ended there, he was in for a tough ride.

Waiting all of thirty second for Shiro to start relaxing, Lance clapped his hands, earning himself a groan

“What are you doing sitting down?”

“Wha...?”

“The real work starts now that we’re home. We’ve got a dinner party to cook for, and don’t think your lack of kitchen prowess is getting you out of it. You’re staying under my roof, which means you’re helping out. Besides, “Sleeping Beauty”, is gonna wanna eat sometime before he expires of old age”

Shiro sighed as he rose to his feet

“You’re right. You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?”

“If you’re asking if I’m serious about my friends enjoying themselves, then yes I am. If you’re asking about Keith, he’s got a nice enough face, but that’s as far as it goes. He won’t eat what I cook, unless you want to lie to him about it. So, you’re helping, that way you can tell him the nasty blood sucker didn’t taint his precious food”

“That comment... it, um, it really got under your skin, didn’t it?”

“It’d be like me slandering all you hunters as wild beast killing Barbarians. I’ve come across them before, it’s kind of hard not to when you’ve been around a while, they usually prefer to be more direct with their kills”

Shiro nodded, his left hand moving to grab above his elbow on his right arm, as if Lance’s words had triggered him to remember some deep self-conscience secret

“I guess it is. But for the most part we are”

“Touché. I don’t want to admit this, but I don’t think I hate you as much as I should”

“For a vampire you’re not that bad”

“I could have told you that. Now, what does Keith like eating?”

“Something quick and easy”

“Thanks for that. Let’s put it this way, is there anything he’s allergic too?”

“He’s a bit iffy when it comes to milk... I was going to try make him some soup”

Lance couldn’t count the number of ways that could have gone wrong

“I can do soup. I got chicken today, so we’ll do chicken and vegetable for “Madam Dramatics”. You’ll be in charge of slicing things. I assume you’re skilled with a blade enough to know not to stab the vampire with pointy end”

“I’ve been around a blade or two”

“Good. Wash your hands then wash the vegetable”

Shiro stared at him blankly, Lance groaning

“Okay. I’ll wash the vegetables. You can work a peeler right?”

“I don’t know...”

Lance cast Shiro a serious frown. Vegetable peelers had come a long way since Lance was a child, but there were now easier than ever. Noticing the minute movements of Shiro’s lips, Lance wanted to smack him, yet instead he did the adult thing and used his words

“You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?”

“Maybe a little”

“You know what, I take it all back. You’re not like an older brother, you’re like a dead beat father. Get to work on the vegetables while I start on the rest”

Having Shiro in the kitchen nearly ruined the joy of cooking forever. Lance didn’t really enjoy cooking the way Hunk did, but giving up on human food wasn’t an option when he was just another normal human being. He felt he’d be giving into his curse to give it up completely, and if he had the money, why not spoil his friends with some really good food? Asking Shiro to use the bones to make a chicken broth resulted in the bones being burnt. Then Shiro left the tea towel a fraction too close to the stove top and that started to smoulder. By the time the clock struck five, and that big beautiful best friend of his, also known as Hunk, walked through the kitchen door, Lance was nearly crying tears of frustration. He’d tasted Shiro’s soup, then promptly rushed to the kitchen sink to throw up, tiny flecks of metal stared up at him and Lance cursed Keith again. Walking up to Hunk, Lance wrapped his arms around him

“Thank god, you’re here”

Patting Lance’s back, Hunk laughed nervously

“Um, thanks, man. Hello, Shiro. Nice to, um, see you again”

“Keith left his camera behind, he’s bad in the morning without his caffeine. Lance offered to let us stay for dinner. We came to collect it. You know how it is”

Hunk knew how unhappy Lance was about house guests. His friends knew that staying in his house wasn’t an invite just any old random got, unless it came from Pidge

“Man, it’s lucky that you left it here and not somewhere else. Not everyone is as kind hearted as Lance”

With his face so close to Hunk’s neck, Lance could hear Hunk’s heartbeat. He could see the veins that carried that fresh blood to and from Hunk’s brain. He’d never feed from him, but Lance was definitely having control issues. He needed blood, he needed to bring himself back under control. His body felt like he was wearing the meat suit of a stranger

“Man, are you okay? You’re totally bundled up”

“I’m fine, Hunkeroo. Just a bit of a sniffle, probably from that window breaking. Shiro’s volunteered to be your sous chef for the evening, thought I wouldn’t trust him with anything other than the chicken soup”

Hunk nodded, Lance stepping back out of his hold. Thank god he was so thickly padded Hunk couldn’t feel him shivering

“Wait, if Shiro’s here, where’s Keith?”

Lance opened his mouth, but it was Shiro’s voice that piped up

“Keith doesn’t like to admit it, but he gets pretty bad car sickness. He needed a nap before dinner to sleep it off”

Hunk nodded sympathetically

“I get that too. It’s horrible. I’ve got this new medication I’m on that really seems to help, I can give him the name if it’ll help”

“I don’t see the harm”

Shiro lied so naturally that Lance wondered if Keith did get car sick. Keith’s bad arse image was in tatters now. The next time the idiot tried to pick a fight him, Lance wasn’t going to hesitate in teaching his ego a lesson

“Right, well. Shiro’s here to help, he can’t be left unwatched. This one has the skill of burning water in an off kettle. I need to check my work phone, and I want to check in with Miriam”

Shiro questioned

“Miriam?”

Hunk nodded, already slipping into chef mode

“That’s his grandmother. Sure, dude. Take your time, but you know, not too much time...”

Hunk was taking a leap of faith, taking Lance’s “trust” of Shiro to mean he could take those tentative steps too. Hunk’s naturally loveable and huge hearted self didn’t need much of an excuse to love somebody. He prayed that whatever happened, Shiro would spare Hunk the pain of a broken friendship.

The door to Lance’s office had been left ajar. Making the most of it, Blue was curled up on his office chair, Lance softening immediately at the sight of his princess

“Blue... hey, baby girl”

Blue let out a “rowrr”, rolling over and stretching herself out in the chair, her head turning his way as it bobbed a little, like she couldn’t quite focus. With her precious little toes reaching towards him, Lance smiled down at his girl, not wanting to lift her off the chair where she was so comfortable. Walking over, he knelt down, scratching between Blue’s ears as she nudged up into the pats

“So this is where you’ve been? Daddy’s sorry. I left you all alone, my baby”

Laying his cheek on Blue, her fur tickled his nose, still too hypersensitive, but finding peace in Blue’s strong heartbeat. What was happening to him? All of this was strange, all of these heightened senses were scary. Disgruntled over being reduced to his pillow, Blue moved from beneath him, sticking her butt in his face in a half kind of squat as she licked her back, an accusing glare cast in his direction

“You’re the one who moved. I didn’t want to disturb you”

He swore Blue understood every word, his girl quick to jump off the chair and strut away out the door.

Sighing as he was left alone, Lance hadn’t actually wanted to call his Mami. He didn’t want her knowing he was sick or stressed, but his list of go to people were short. With his body changing, he figured he should reach out to Coran for answers, but was scared off at the idea that Shiro or Keith might have bugged his office. Vatican sanctioned hunters were no joke. God’s love was found in the light, while his species were seen as unworthy night freaks that should be decapitated at the first opportune moment. It wasn’t like him to be so depressed, he needed to get his shit together and keep strong, so why was he letting himself spiral like this? He’d met hunters before, forced to flee long ago and barely in his late 20’s. He thought he’d done such a good job of blending in, of being likeable to everyone. Now he was just too damn scared to think of his next move. A truce between him and Shiro could surely not last longer than tonight. Shiro only agreed not to kill him due to his human friends. It wasn’t fair. He didn’t want to drink Keith’s blood in the first place, so why did he have to be punished when he’d pretty much saved Keith from himself.

“Freeze, bloodsucker”

What happened to Keith being in bed? So weak he needed his big brother to fend for him? Turning his head, he rested his other cheek on the chair as he looked to Keith. Keith looked sleepy, yet unamazingly alive. A proper nap would fix up much of his appearance, as would a series of face masks to help with the whole “black bag panda” look he was rocking. Pointing a gun in his direction, Lance couldn’t even be surprised by it

“Just so you know, Shiro and I have a truce at the moment because there’s a human in the house”

“You think I care? You fucking turned me”

Lance moved his head again, flipping back to the other cheek and staring at his desk

“You’re not a vampire”

“I am too! You bit me”

“You punched me in the teeth”

“You still turned me!”

“Keith, fuck off. You’re not a vampire”

“I am! I received a vampire’s bite”

“Nope”

“I’m turning. I can feel it. My body feels different”

“That’s because you’re a dumbarse. Relax, you’re still human”

“I’m not! You ruined my life, the least you can do is die!”

Before Keith could react, Lance was standing in front of him. Grabbing the muzzle of the gun, he held it up to his chest in line with his undead heart

“You’re not a vampire. Fucking shoot me if you want to, but I never fucking turned you”

It was interesting to hear Keith’s heart begin to race with fear. His eyes were something else, Lance staring him dead in the eyes, feeling like those eyes could steal his very soul

“You turned me”

“I didn’t turn you. Now, either you shoot me right here, or you go back to bed like a good little boy. Shiro’s worried enough about you as it is”

“You have no right...”

“I have no right mentioning his name? Is that it? Sorry to break it to you, but until tomorrow morning, and my friends have all gone home safely, your stupid arse is stuck here. Now, I’m going to have a bite to drink while you go back to bed. Neither of us are going to tell Shiro you pulled a gun on me while a human was in the house, and you’re going to get through you think mullet covered head, you are not a vampire”

Letting the gun go, Lance turned and walked back to his desk, making a show of calmly pulling down a wine glass and opening his safe. His blood supply had been fucking halved, probably by Keith, and Lance kind of hoped that the idiot would have taken a sip by now and see he was still the stupid human he’d always been. Feeling Keith’s eyes remain on him, Lance sighed

“Can’t a man get a moment of privacy in his own home?”

“How can I trust you? How do I know you aren’t planning on pulling out your own gun”

“Because you fucking tossed my office already. If there a gun in here, your dumbarse would have found it. Now, shoo”

Keith did not “shoo”, either the whole encounter had taken so long Shiro got worried, or Hunk had mentioned Lance was headed to his office, whatever it was, Shiro didn’t take long to interrupt the one sided staring match

“Keith! What are you doing out of bed?”

With Shiro finally there to break the tension, Lance poured himself out a third of the blood bag

“I’m not human any more, Shiro...”

“Keith. I get that this change is hard for you, but we’re going to get through this together. Lance has people over tonight, we can’t make a move until they’ve left”

“He’s a vampire and he fucking turned me!”

All Keith needed to was start stomping his feet and he’d have impersonating a cranky toddler down pact

“Keith, please. Whatever he’s done to you, I won’t rest until we have a cure. Right now, Lance is only source of information. I know it hard, but you need your rest”

Lance’s opinion of Shiro’s intelligence dropped. He’d told Shiro that Keith wasn’t a vampire. Yet there Shiro was, assuring Keith they’d find a cure. The only cure was death. The whole “kill the sire” thing didn’t work, the two who’d sired Lance had to have been killed off by now... unless they were born into the vampire way of life. Lance actually hadn’t the first clue about how a vampire was “born” and not from being bitten and turned. Perhaps blood in the infants milk? That was the only reasoning he could some up with. Maybe if he hadn’t clung to his human roots, he would have ventured out to learn more about the beast he was.

“Fine. Tonight, and only tonight, I’ll let you off, but come tomorrow, you better tell me everything I need to know before I kill you”

Whooo hoo. One last dinner, at least it’d be with his friends. Keith’s carrying ons were enough to make his headache increase tenfold, bitter as he muttered

“Go away already”

[btstimestamps]

Mine [Ch.1]

Pairing(s): maknae line x fem!reader [hybrid!au] [college!au]

Genre(s): fluff, tiny amount of angst, lots of smut 😜

Summary: Having three of your best friends as cat hybrids was quite chaotic especially when their heat hits them all at the same time.

-----------------------------------------------

"I'm home~"

You glanced up from your textbook for a moment to acknowledge your friends presence before focusing back on your task. It was the usual evening with Taehyung showing up to your shared apartment first after finishing his classes, your other two friends arriving after from their club activites.

"Have you eaten?" You asked as you wrote down a note next to a highlighted paragraph.

"Nope. I'm hungry." Taehyung slumped next to you and pouted making you smile.

You removed your reading glasses and placed your items on the oak table before going over to the kitchen to heat up some kimchi pancakes your mother had brought over when she came to visit during the day.

"Oh! I love your mother's cooking." Taehyung wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder as he smiled adorably, his tail swaying side to side in a quick pace.

Being used to the skinship, you simply hummed in response as you placed the delicious food on a plate.

"Eat up before it gets cold."

"Yes mom."

You softly laughed at his words as you headed back to your spot on the cushion sofa.

"There's a party tommorow at Seokjin-hyung's house. Wanna come with us?" Taehyung asked after he had his first bite.

"I have to study for the upcoming test. You know how important it is to me." You sent him an apologetic look but he shook his head, refusing your rejection.

"I'll only take a yes."

You sighed and sent the boy a nod making him cheer. In that moment, Jungkook and Jimin entered the apartment in a tired fashion.

"What with the celebrating?" Jimin asked but immediately caught the smell of food, his body automatically taking him to the source.

"Hey! These are mine!" Taehyung complained as Jimin mercilessly took a huge bite out of the pancake.

"Hyung, [F/N]-noona already heated up our food." Jungkook nodded towards the other plates you setted on the side and Jimin smiles in glee.

"Thanks [F/N]! You're the best~"

The trio sat by the table and chatted as they ate while you continued with your studying. It wasn't until they finished that you stood up and cleaned the table, ushering the boys to rest on the sofa while you cleaned up.

"Can we watch that movie today, noona?" Jungkook's voice startled you that you almost dropped the plate that was in your hands.

He reached out in time, placing his hand over yours and you both stood still trying to comprehend the current situation. Jungkook's cheeks turned a dark shade of red and he retracted his hand causing you to almost drop the plate again.

"That was close." You placed a hand over your heart while Jungkook came out of his daze, forcing a chuckle to leave his lips.

You were obviously not fazed by the contact, more concerned for the plate to even think about it but the younger boy strangely could not stop thinking about how your soft hand felt against his. If only he could feel more of your skin underneath those clothes and-

"Jungkook?"

His eyes widened as he realised where his mind was going and he took a step back.

"Are you ok?" You asked as you tried approaching him but he turned away and stormed off to his room.

The door slamming made you wince and you glanced over to your roommates who both shared a looking of understanding.

"Don't worry about Jungkook. He'll be fine in the morning." That didn't take away your concern but you sent them a nod, deciding it was best to drop the subject.

"I'm heading off to bed then. Goodnight." You took a step towards your room but you were called once more.

"Can't you sleep in my room tonight?" Jimin questioned and you blinked in confusion.

"I can but why do you want me to? Did you have a nightmare last night?" You said back with a tinge of worry but Jimin's smile that he directed towards you indicated that you were wrong.

"I just want to be close to you and cuddle and kiss-" Taehyung lightly elbowed Jimin in the stomach before he could finish.

"Go to bed, [F/N]. We'll see you in the morning." He told with a warm smile.

You returned it as you bid them farewell once more and soon entered your room. Taehyung's smile immediately dropped and he turned to glare at his friend who raised his hands while feigning an innocent expression.

"We are all friends, remember?" He emphasised the most important word making Jimin groan and slump against the sofa.

"I know but I can't help it." He sighed, closing his eyes as an image of your pretty form appeared in his mind.

"You're heat can't but you can. Control it for the next week." Taehyung told making the older boy huff.

"Tell that to Jungkook. He will be the worst out of us three."

Taehyung glanced at Jungkook's door already knowing what the male was up to and released a sigh.

"I'll talk to him in the morning."

The two decided to call it a night and head to their rooms.

---------------------------------------------

"N-Noona..."

Jungkook bit his swollen lip as he aggressively pumped his thick member with his longer slender fingers wrapped around it.

He imagined you with your ass up in the air as you bend over to take his throbbing cock in your mouth. Your lust filled gaze never leaves his and it drives him insane.

Jungkook almost rips off his sleeve once he bites into it to hold in his cry. Cum shoots out and his body shakes as he rides his orgasm, his eyes rolling to back of his head due to the pleasure. He breathed heavily, trying to calm down from his high before he grabbed some tissues from his side draw and cleaned up. Jungkook soon settled in his bed, glad that he had released a bit of the stress that he was suffering from but he knew it was only going to get worse as the week went by.

---------------------------------------------

"Good morning!"

The three cat hybrids shuffled out of their rooms, looking equally tired as the other but as they smelt the delicious aroma coming from the kitchen, they perked up.

"Did you sleep well?"

Jungkook had sat down with his friends and began eating, not realising you had directed the question to him until Jimin nudged him.

"I did...sorry about last night, noona." a tinge of pink dusted his cheeks as he ducked his head in shame.

"It's alright! Don't feel bad." You patted his back in comfort and Jungkook almost purred, his cat ears twitching.

"Calm down, you're making it obvious." Taehyung whispered and the male jumped in a startled manner.

You had gone away at that point to grab your bag, not hearing the interaction between the two which was a relief.

"I'm off then. I'll see you all at the party!" You put your shoes on and sent the three a wave before you headed out of the apartment.

"I don't want noona to go to the party..." Jungkook mumbled with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Jimin had to agree with the younger boy, a small frown settling onto his handsome features.

"I might go crazy if I see any other boy look at what's mine." He hissed, his cat ears stretching back as anger hit him.

Taehyung rolled up the magazine that you had left on the table earlier and lightly smacked each of them on the head.

"Control yourselves."

Jimin glanced at the taller boy and rolled his eyes, his lips forming into a small smirk.

"You should be telling yourself that."

Taehyung glanced up and saw his reflection through the mirror, hanging on the wall. His normally brown eyes were now glowing amber as his irises had become thin, his canines sharpening also.

He cursed under his breath and turned away, closing his eyes but as he did, images of the dream he had last night played around in his mind.

"Make me yours, Taehyung." You were lying underneath the shirtless male, your hands reaching out to bring him down.

He bit his lip and lowered himself, tilting his head to be able to share a kiss with you.

"Fuck." He muttered in annoyance before he hastily walked back to his room.

He threw on a random shirt with black skinny jeans, brushed his black locks into a decent style before wearing his favourite pair of shoes. Placing the strap of his bag on his shoulder, he released a huff and nodded to himself.

"Be strong, Taehyung. Be strong."

-----------------------------------------------

"Have all three of you bonded with [F/N] or something?"

Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook simultaneously looked to their right to see their dog hybrid friend Namjoon who raised a brow at their behaviour which they had made quite obvious.

"What do you mean?" Jimin decided to ask for the three of them but Namjoon simply rolled his eyes.

"You all look like you want to incinerate every male that is even thirty centimetres near her." He looked over to see your cheery self chatting with a few other people as you took sips of your juice.

"[F/N]! Don't be so boring and have a few drinks!" A male classmate approached you as he offered you alcohol but you shook your head, pointing towards your own drink.

"No thanks. I would rather not have a headache the next day." You smiled politely but he dismissed your words with a wave of his hand.

Your roommates watched from afar, growing tense as they saw the male grab your hand and drag you to his circle of friends.

"Uh oh. This does not look good..." Namjoon muttered as he sank into the sofa to make his presence less known.

You were trying to stop them from making you drink, being as polite as possible but it only annoyed your classmate, him having the nerve to throw a drink at you and soak your clothes.

"If you don't want to then why be here in the first place. It's a party, you stupid-"

A fist came in contact with his cheek and it sent him flying onto the table. A gasp left a majority of the students including you who gazed at your friend in shock.

"T-Taehyung..."

Jimin and Jungkook were out of their seats ready to fight but the so called calmest out of the three had beaten them to it. Taehyung bared his sharp teeth, his ears perking up while his tail swished aggressively. He stepped forward to grab the male but you quickly intervened, wrapping your arms around his waist.

"Stop!"

His amber eyes moved onto your trembling form that clung onto him and they immediately returned to their normal colour.

"I knew I shouldn't have invited you."

Seokjin entered the scene, his eyebrows knitted together as he expressed his anger towards the male who was struggling to get up. He glanced over to Taehyung and sent him a small smile before speaking up.

"Take her home. I'll sort this out."

They exchanged a nod and you glanced down as Taehyung entwined your hands before he took you away, Jimin and Jungkook following behind.

"Here, noona." Jungkook had covered you with his jacket before you stepped outside and you gave him your thanks.

It was quiet as you all walked back to your apartment but as soon as you stepped in, closed the door and settled onto your sofa, you were the first to speak up.

"You all have been acting strange recently. Do you want to tell me why?"

Jimin looked at the younger two before deciding to speak up.

"It's actually-"

"Nothing, we're fine. Exams are coming up and we're just stressed."

Taehyung had cut Jimin off who raised a brow in his direction. You didn't buy his excuse and stood up, shrugging of Jungkook's jacket in the process.

"If you don't want to tell me, fine." You bit back at them and Jungkook's ears turned flat as he saw how hurt you became.

Taehyung was unfazed and waved his hand towards you in a careless manner. You bit you lip to hold back saying anything else before turning away and marching to your room. As soon as the door shut, Taehyung's expression matched Jungkook's causing Jimin to look at him in disbelief.

"What was that?"

The black haired boy slumped back into the sofa and sighed.

"The first time I went through my heat with [F/N] around, she was way too awkward with me. She even offered to leave our apartment for a week. That's why I always told you two to be away from [F/N] whenever it happens but now that it hit us three at the same time, we can't all just dissappear without telling her." Taehyung informed and the two finally understood.

"I'll deal with it on my own. Don't worry, hyung." Jungkook said making his friend smile.

Jimin agreed too before letting out a yawn.

"I'm going then. See you tomorrow."

It was the next day and it was you day off so you proceeded to be lazy and have a bit of time to yourself. You weren't alone in the apartment, Jungkook being their too but he had locked himself in his room claiming he had a stomach bug and didn't want you to catch it. You were worried sick at first but last night's conversation reminded you that you were not talking to any of them especially Taehyung so you proceeded to ignore your friend and let him deal with his sickness himself. Although, a small part of you still wanted to go out and buy him medicine.

"Noona..." You had walked past Jungkook's room to go into your own but paused as you heard him call you.

"Kookie? Are you ok?" You called him with concern laced in you voice.

"I need help." He weakly answered and you immediately turned the knob to his door which you were sure was locked.

You stumbled inside, your lips parting to speak but your mouth turned dry at the sight before you. Jungkook was shirtless with his boxers pulled down while his hand was wrapped around his cock.

You were speechless. Is this the reason why your friends were acting strange? Did that mean...

"You're all on your heat? At the same time?" You asked in disbelief and Jungkook groaned in frustration.

"Please, just help me, noona." He begged and you flushed, your cheeks turning red.

"I-uh-um-vagshsvzh-ok." You stumbled over your words as you shuffled towards him.

Once you were an arm length away, Jungkook grabbed your hand and placed it on his throbbing cock.

"Stroke it." He ordered and you horribly blushed at his straightforward words.

You did but it still wasn't enough making him hiss.

"Come here." He yanked you forward and you fell on his lap.

He leaned forward, your lips almost touching but he fought back his instinct and asked for your permission.

"Can I kiss you?"

You gulped, too embarrassed to even nod but the look in your eyes indicated that you were allowing him. He immediately kisses you and you were tense at first until he moved his lips and guided you to follow his movements. A shiver ran down your spine making you relax. You didn't know where to to put your hands so you settled them on his shoulder, squeezing them here and there whenever the kiss became intense. Jungkook guided your hand back to his hard member and you stroked it at a slow pace making him moan in the kiss. You parted from the kiss and watched as he leaned his head back, breathing heavily as you pleased him.

You couldn't help but admire the way he expressed his pleasure so you experimented by giving his cock a light squeeze. A strangled moan was heard after and you bit your lip, liking his reaction.

"Should I do that again?" You asked and Jungkook almost melted at the flicker of dominance that appeared in your eyes.

"Yes, please. Please do it again. I love it."

You honestly didn't know where this confidence was coming from but you loved it just as much as you loved Jungkook submitting to you.

Picking up your pace, Jungkook's breathing pattern quickened as he felt his high coming and you leaned down, showering his neck with kisses. You harshly sucked on his sweet spot and his grip on his bedsheets tightened.

"I-I'm gonna cum." He stuttered and you slowed down your strokes making his eyes widen.

"Noona, make me cum, please!" He begged and you licked your lips.

"Don't worry, baby." You assured and Jungkook felt his heart flutter over the pet name.

It wasn't long before his hot seed sperted out and landed on his lean stomach. You grabbed a few tissues and helped the younger boy who was trying to calm down. You planned on getting up after he pulled up his boxers but Jungkook was fast and wrapped his arms around your waist. He dragged you back down, and you made a startled noise as you fell on your side.

"Stay with me." He whispered and you glanced up, closing your eyes for a second as he placed a kiss on your forehead.

You leaned your head against his bare chest and sighed.

"Are you feeling better now?" You asked and Jungkook hummed in response.

You didn't realise when you fell asleep but you definitely did when you felt someone yank Jungkook away from you.

The male landed roughly on the floor and he winced before looking up to glare at whoever disturbed his peaceful sleep. His expression changed to fear and guilt as he saw who it was exactly.

"Hyung..."

"Is this how your dealing with it because, I don't see you doing it on your own." Taehyung looked over to you but you weren't scared, you were calm.

"You should have told me you were going through your heat." You got off the bed and helped Jungkook stand who then stood behind you, his cat ears pointing down as he kept his gaze on the floor.

"We're friends, [F/N]. If we do this, I don't know where our relationship will stand after this." He countered but you shook your head.

"I love you all and I care for you all. So, if I have to help you, Jungkook and Jimin go through this heat then I don't care about our relationship. I'm not the same awkward turtle I was two years ago. I will help you this time." You declared.

Taehyung's canines grew sharp as his coloured orbs changed into a beautiful shade of Amber. He leaned forward and lightly hissed but you stood your ground.

"Don't start complaining when you're unable to walk."

[musicanddancingthroughlife]

Langst/Klance -- Pierrot

Okay guys, I know I forgot to upload something last week but this is like. My longest chapter yet, I guess. It is Klance, which I haven’t written in a while, and it’s probably super rough cause I hate myself and won’t go back and edit, but hey, have. Other than that, I hate myself and that sums up a lot of aspects of my life right now.

------------------------------- 

“Hunk? Hunk, where’d you go? All right, so Coran isn’t as good of a cook as you are, but I think by now we should be used to that, there’s no need to run from it.”

              Lance stopped short when he heard loud sobs and that too quick breathing that signaled Hunk’s anxiety attacks. Lance didn’t hesitate, though. “Hey, Hunk? Can I touch you, buddy?” His friend shifted under his mess of blankets, shivering and shaking. Lance swept him up into a hug, holding close for a few minutes before he grasped one of Hunks’ larger hands in one of his own. He settled their joined hands on Lance’s chest, Hunk instantly using lance’s heartbeat to steady his gasping breath.

              It took several minutes, but Lance sat patiently, whispering reassurance and comfort in both English and Spanish. Once he was sure Hunk was calmed down, he pulled back into a tight hug, letting Hunk weep into his neck, uncaring of how the tears were dampening his clothes and making him uncomfortable. “Wanna talk?” Hunk nodded, but it was still a while before he said anything. And when he did, Lance felt his heart stop.

              “Lance, what am I doing here? I’m not a pilot like you guys; I don’t even like flying. How can I save the universe if I can’t even do basic flight exercises like today’s?” And with that, he burst into a fresh wave of tears.

              Lance contented himself with rubbing Hunk’s back, letting him cry out his insecurities and frustration, but he didn’t let that stop him from trying to assuage those fears. “Come on, man, you’re one of the two smartest people on our team! 50% of our brain power! Maybe something like 33% if we’re really gonna count Coran, but let’s also keep in mind that you’re the reason we’re not dying of starvation or too much exposure to goo, so at the very least, you deserve more credit than that. And you’ve come so far! Yellow is lucky to have you as her pilot! And you’ve got some of the top skills in the training rooms, don’t you? You’re just behind Shiro and Keith!

              “And come on, it’s not like you’re the only making mistakes! Remember last week when I accidentally used those weird pellet gun things and shot Shiro in the ass? And what about when I was racing Keith and wound up making both of us crash into the ground? Was that stupid, or what?” Lance belted out a laugh, cringing inwardly when it sounded just a little too loud, but thankfully Hunk didn’t seem to notice. He just let out a weak giggle, but Lance could see that there were still tears in his eyes. That was fine. He had plenty of stories to entertain Hunk with.

              Keith was annoyed. Why was he always the one having to track down Lance when he wandered off? It’s not like Keith was his keeper or anything. Hell, he didn’t even like Lance!

              …Okay, maybe that was a lie, because what wasn’t to like? Honestly, Keith was just as infatuated as he was irritated, even at that moment, which was impressive because at that moment, Keith felt more horrified at what he was hearing. First, the very idea that Hunk was doubting his worth on the team, was ridiculous, and he wished that he knew what to say in order to make him feel better, but at least Lance was handling that okay. Keith just wished it wasn’t at Lance’s own expense.

              At first, he was just surprised at hearing Lance recount those stories, stories which made Lance look like an idiot who can’t do anything right. He was pleased to hear that Hunk was seeming to cheer up, but he also knew that Lance’s laughter wasn’t completely honest. There was a tinge of pain to it. Lance normally tried to avoid reminders of those moments, and here he was, voluntarily sharing them, just to help a friend.

              More laughter spilled from the room, and Keith bit his lip. Lance’s laughter was sounding more and more broken as he continued sharing stories. Thankfully he had begun reminding Hunk of all the good he had done, both before and after Voltron, but the tears in Lance’s voice were starting to hurt him. Thankfully, it was really only a couple minutes later when Hunk and Lance stepped out of Hunk’s room, arms slung over each other’s shoulders. Keith felt a pang in his chest.

              “Keith!” Hunk’s eyes were rimmed with red, but the beaming smile he gave Keith told him that Lance had succeeded in making his friend feel better. “Did you need something?”

              “Coran and Allura wanted me to tell you guys that we’re ready to have dinner, if you want to join us.” His eyes drifted over to Lance, and found himself amazed by how Lance was able to mask the pain in his eyes. Sure, Keith could still tell, because he was actively looking for it, but no one else would have any idea. How did he do that? Why would he do that?

              Hunk quickly ducked under Lance’s arm to clasp a large hand on Keith’s shoulder. “Well, let’s get to it, man, I’m starving!” And Hunk began to drag Keith away, leaving Lance behind to follow. Keith glanced back, but when he did, he just saw Lance flash a wide grin at him, and then Hunk was pulling him around a corner.

              The next time he saw Lance was a few minutes after he and Hunk had seated themselves, when he quietly slipped into the dining hall. He was just a little too quiet while they ate, but nobody else seemed to notice, and that’s when Keith resolved to keep a closer eye on his sharpshooter.

                “Lance! You’re not nearly fast enough!” Lance’s concentration broken, Pidge managed to catch his foot with her katar. Startled at the unexpected catch, she accidentally shocked him, and Lance yelped in pain, crashing to the ground.

              “Oh my god, Lance, I am so sorry!” Pidge started to rush over, but Allura stopped her before she could.

              “Lance!” she snapped impatiently, “get up, now, and try again!” Lance was amazed. She wanted him to what? He just got shocked with who knows how much electricity! Hunk and Keith stared in shock, first looking at Allura in disbelief, then at Lance, still on the ground, trying to breathe through the pain coursing through him, and finally at Shiro, begging him to do something. He stepped forward.

              “Allura, come on, we’ve all been training for hours. We’re exhausted.”

              “You guys are fine. Go get some rest. Lance still has a lot of work he needs to do, and he’s never going to improve if he doesn’t stop wasting our time!” These last words were focused on Lance, who squeezed his eyes shut, shooting hand rhythmically flexing and relaxing. He felt a stab of shame in his chest. Of course, she was right. He was the weak link. He was behind everybody else in hand-to-hand, hell, even Pidge just took him down! They were never going to get anywhere with him being such a baby about training.

              “Allura—” Shiro began, but Lance cut him off.

              “No, she’s right.” Lance shakily got to his feet, small gasps and grunts escaping him as he forced his wobbly legs to support his weight. “I can do better, just let me go again.”

              Shiro looked less than impressed. “Lance, you can barely stand. Let’s just call it a day and we can hit it hard in the morning.” And hell, Lance wanted nothing more than to be able to take a break. He wasn’t positive how long they had been going so far, but he knew it was at least a couple of hours – usually they train hand-to-hand for two, taking turn so everyone could rest, and so that they could each practice with varying styles and techniques. Then they would take an extra hour in the shooting range, and then move on to team building exercises before finishing for the day. Briefly, he wondered how long Allura wanted him to continue practicing.

              “There, you see? He gets it, at least.” Oh, he got it all right. He was a failure, as usual, and he needed to work harder to catch up, to not bring his friends down. People could die if he wasn’t good enough. Lance gritted his teeth, preparing himself to go again. “Come on, Pidge, I won’t make it as easy on you this time.”

              “Actually, I believe Coran needed both Pidge and Hunk for a project today, so if you two would go get showered and then meet with him, that would be fantastic.” Allura’s face was set, decisive. Pidge and Hunk were done for the day. Lance blinked.

              “Okay… Shiro, will you run through it with me again? I know I can get it.” He really didn’t, but he wasn’t going to stop until he did, so it wasn’t like he had any other choice.

              “Lance, I need Shiro so we can plan our next course of action. Got that, Shiro?” Her voice was hard and unforgiving, but still, Shiro hesitated, looking back at Lance almost questioningly. Lance shook his head. “It’s fine, Shiro, I’m sure Keith will help me?” Keith stepped forward, but Allura spoke up again.

              “Honestly, Lance! Keith spends too much time training as is. You are the only one who needs the extra practice, stop trying to guilt the others into staying behind to help you. Keith, I don’t want to see you anywhere near the training room until tomorrow, when we are in fact scheduled to train.” The look in her eyes dared Keith to argue, and Lance knew him well enough to know that he needed to step in.

              “Don’t worry, Princess, I can do it on my own. More fun to have company, but you’re right. Keith deserves a break.” Lance couldn’t look them in the eye. Not only was he going to struggle with the training itself, but now he was going to be isolated from his friends for who knows how long. What a day.

                Keith clenched his fists, anger rushing through him. Lance was trying just as hard as any of them! In fact, he was trying harder than most of them! This was ridiculous, and he had no idea why Allura was acting the way she was. Like Lance needed a punishment or something! But with Lance agreeing with her, Keith couldn’t see how he could stay behind to help him with the combination.

              “Lance, if you need to see the combo again – though you really shouldn’t, seeing as Shiro and Keith demonstrated it numerous times for you and you would have it if you had been paying attention – you can recall it on the databases here in the training room. You will practice until you get the combo, and until either Shiro or myself can confirm that you know it.” And without another word, she swept out of the room, calling to the other paladins on her way out.

              Slowly, hesitantly, Pidge and Hunk wished Lance good luck, before they left to find Coran. Shiro look sympathetic, but ultimately, there wasn’t much they could do. Especially where Lance was willing to just put in the extra time. Already, he was gulping down some water, shuffling and shifting to allow his feet to find the beginning stance. Keith wanted nothing more than to stay behind, to offer some help or advice or dammit, even just some company! Lance needed people, and to cut him off from everyone like this was unnecessarily cruel. But before he could even offer any encouraging words, Lance was moving his way through the combination, slowly mapping out each step. Keith sighed, but then he followed the rest of their friends out of the training room.

              Hopefully Lance would be okay.

              Of course, none of them saw Lance again until way after dinner. The other paladins had long since headed to bed, but Keith had been unable to sleep and was in the middle of debating whether it was safe to go to the training room or not when Lance came stumbling out of it. Trailing behind Allura, he looked beaten and exhausted. His hair and clothes were soaked through with sweat and Keith suspected he was favoring his leg. Meanwhile Allura looked smug, pleased with the knowledge that her slowest paladin was improving, that they were that much closer to defeating Zarkon. Lance slowly shuffled towards the kitchen, but Allura stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

              “What are you doing?” she questioned.

              Lance frowned. “I haven’t eaten yet…”

              “It’s far too late to be making another mess in the kitchen,” she looked at him disapprovingly, and Keith felt anger rising to the surface. “It’d be best if you slept instead. Eat in the morning.” Keith gaped at her, but he was unnoticed by the two of them. Really, that just meant that once Allura had turned Lance towards the direction of their bedrooms, Keith was in the perfect position to see the pained resignation cross Lance’s face.

              Before he even realized it, Keith had retrieved some light food from the kitchen and was knocking on Lance’s door. He left the foot on the floor, where Lance would hopefully see it, and then scurried around the corner as quickly and quietly as he could. He heard the door open, there was a few seconds of silence and then some rustling before the door shut again. When Keith peeked around the corner, the food was gone.

                Only a couple days later, and Keith was again frustrated about Lance. It looked like he still hadn’t recovered fully from that long night in the training room, and he couldn’t understand why. Shiro had been really careful in making sure that nothing like that happened again, but that didn’t stop Allura from pushing Lance’s limits as hard as she could get away with when Shiro wasn’t looking. But despite this, Lance still looked so tired all the time.

              That night, at dinner, Keith kept a close eye on Lance. He seemed normal, though tired, and it wasn’t until after dinner that he realized Lance wasn’t retiring to his room like most of the rest of the paladins were. Instead, he headed to the training room. Keith camped out outside, bored out of his mind, but more determined to find out if Lance was really okay or not. Lance logged a good three hours before he finally came out of the locker room exit. He was breathing heavily, gasping for air, and muscles loose and trembling, but otherwise seemed unharmed. Keith forced himself to relax as he followed Lance down the hallway from a distance. Lance gulped down a water pouch, and then set off to the Lion Hangar, where Pidge was still absorbed in her latest project.

              “Pidge.” It was quiet, and the reaction was slight, but Keith still recognized how Pidge flinched and her shoulders shot up to her ears. “When are you going to go to bed?”

              “None of your business!” Pidge spat, and Keith was more than surprised at the venom in the girl’s voice. Lance only sighed.

              “Pidge. You need to sleep. Please.” Was this why he was so tired? He was trying to make sure Pidge was getting to bed? Keith looked at Pidge critically. If that was the case, he really wasn’t doing a good job. But, he realized with a pang, that wasn’t his fault. No one else was trying to get Pidge to sleep at all, and it was obvious she desperately needed the rest.

              “Fuck off, Lance, I don’t need a babysitter.” Lance flinched, but refused to back down. “Come on, just one night. You haven’t slept more than a couple of hours in who knows how many days.”

              Pidge narrowed her eyes. “Have you been keeping tabs on me?”

              “I’m worried about you.”

              “Well no one else is and the only people who really care are who knows where and I’m trying to find them, so leave me alone.”

              There were a few moments of silence where Keith wondered if he should intervene. Before he could, Lance spoke up again. “I know you have nightmares, Pidge.” Pidge froze. “Come on, did you really think I wouldn’t notice, kid? You’re pushing yourself too far. Keep it up and you won’t control when you collapse from exhaustion. You’ve gotta sleep at some point. At least this way, you’ll have more control over when and how.”

              Pidge shook her head, but even Keith could tell that her eyes were glazing with tears. “Pidge, come on. I’ll stay with you. You don’t have to worry about nightmares. I chase nightmares for my siblings all the time.” Lance’s hands fisted briefly, then relaxed again. Pidge looked up at Lance pleadingly. “Would you really stay?” she asked hesitantly.

              Lance bent down without another word, scooping her up into his arms. “Of course I will. If Matt can’t be here to do it for you, then I’ll gladly fill in for him until he can, don’t worry.”

              When Keith saw them the next morning, Lance looked even more exhausted than before, but Pidge was obviously more relaxed and clearheaded.

              Everyone expressed their joy at Pidge getting rest, and they praised her for finally taking some time to herself.

              She didn’t mention a single word about how Lance basically had to force her to finally get some sleep, or that he was the whole reason she felt comfortable for doing so in the first place.

              And no one else seemed to notice how Lance was so tired he could barely keep a handle on his emotions during training that day.

                In fact, Keith suspects it was because of that loose grip on his emotions that the disaster that was training really occurred.

              “Lance, come on, really try here! Everyone else is working so hard, and they’re doing great, just try a little harder for us! We’re a team, and we can’t be that if we have to drag you along on missions.”

              Keith knew, okay, he knew that Shiro was under a lot of stress. He was still young, only a little older than them, and he’d suffered a lot of trauma that no one should ever have to go through. But, really? Lance was so tired, and he was trying so hard, and he was doing so much for all of them. He didn’t deserve this.

              Lance, though, merely looked up at Shiro from where he was laying on the floor, eyes bleary and unfocused. Shiro clenched his jaw, visibly willing himself to dredge up some of that incredible patience he’s always preaching at Keith about. “Lance, if you won’t take this seriously, then we have no reason to keep you on as a paladin. I’ve been trying to defend you from Allura, but honestly? She’s right. You need to work harder and take this more seriously, and if you can’t even do that then I don’t know why you’re bothering to stick around.”

              Keith glanced around for help from Pidge and Hunk, but they were far on the other side of the training room, and hadn’t noticed what was happening yet. Keith slowly stepped forward. “Shiro, maybe we should…” Shiro barely glanced at him when he walked past, all but racing out of the training room, leaving Lance an overtired and emotional mess on the floor. At first, they both just sat there in silence, but then Lance visibly steeled himself, taking a deep breath and choking back tears. And when he finally staggered to his feet, wiping his eyes clear of any moisture, Keith felt like his heart might break.

              “He’s right, it’s fine. I’m going to go take a breather, and I’ll come back to try again after dinner, I think. I need to get this right.” For a moment, Keith couldn’t breathe, his heart and soul ached so much for this sad, lost boy in front of him, but before he could gather his thoughts enough to speak, Lance had taken off.

              He didn’t see him again until very late in the night, or early in the morning, depending on your perspective. Keith had been heading to the kitchen to get a water pouch, but instead barely managed to stop himself from walking into Shiro having a panic attack. Keith was more surprised by that than by the fact Lance was talking him down from it. He had Shiro’s hand clutched against his own chest, helping him to time his breaths, and he was gently chattering away about his family, joking with Shiro as if it wasn’t a one-sided conversation during which the other participant was having a full-scale attack. It was impressive, but when you looked closely, it wasn’t hard to see that Lance’s hands were trembling, and there were tears in his eyes.

              Some time later, it was evident that Shiro was too tired to notice any of those things, as he instead broke down into tears once he’d calmed down enough. Lance stayed with him the entire time, and Keith kept a silent vigil over his friend. The two of them didn’t retire until the day castle had begun shifting into its day cycle. And if anyone else noticed that Lance was starting to look a little less vibrant, a little less happy, a little less excited about life, they didn’t say anything. Lance appeared to wish to just brush it off, and Keith was content to bide his time.

                But that wasn’t going to last too long.

                “I don’t know how to help you, okay!” The quiet that followed that outburst was just as loud. Keith couldn’t bear it. Lance should never look this depressed, this dejected. “Lance.”

              There was silence, Lance refused to glance up and acknowledge Keith, so he tried again.

              “Lance. Please. Look at me.” Another few seconds of silence before Lance shook his head weakly. Feeling the pain in his chest tighten, Keith tried again. He had a vision of Lance comforting and coaching Hunk through a panic attack, Lance running himself ragged training for Allura’s peace of mind, Lance’s willingness to sacrifice his own sleep to ensure Pidge slept, the trust and faith he placed in Shiro, despite consistently feeling that Shiro didn’t even like him, forget about trusting him.

              “Just.  Please. I just want you to be honest. Be you. Please, just be selfish for a few minutes. I promise, I’ll still be here. I don’t… I don’t need you to be anything but yourself. Please.” Still silence. “You’ve done so much for all of us, and I need you to know that even if you didn’t stretch yourself so thin for all of us, we would all still love you. We would still value you. You’re our friend. None of us knew what we were getting into, but we do all know that none of us would be here without you. We wouldn’t have even found Blue, we would’ve give up, I don’t know what exactly, I just know that we wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you, and that we can’t do this without you!” Keith’s voice went soft, and Lance stood frozen, looking back at Keith with a shocked expression. “I can’t do this without you, Lance, and I can’t stand to watch you push yourself so hard and get no credit or appreciation or even a thank you. You’re worth more than that to me, and I know you’re worth more than that to the others, too.”

              Lance’s lower lip trembled. “I can’t not help them, Keith.”

              Keith stepped forward, placed gentle hands on Lance’s shoulders, carefully pulled him into a hug. “I know, Lance, I know,” This close, he knew to keep his voice quiet, murmuring directly into Lance’s ear. “I love you for that, but you can’t push too hard too fast. You deserve better, and we want more than that for you. I promise. Just talk to us, we can be there for you, just like you’re there for us. I’ll be there for you, if you’ll let me.” Keith felt his face flush, but he forced himself to stay put. Lance needed him more, right then.

              They stood there for several minutes, no sound save for Lance’s quiet sobs and Keith’s hushed reassurances and promises.

              “I’ll try.”