#using tumblr Big Text for g/t purposes.

[the-star-and-the-smols]

Feeling small

This is essentially just me writing g/t comfort for myself involving my sizeshifter s/i (Cass, she/they) and Sean because I'm a nerd who likes to be comforted by big Irish outlaw okay

Basically the first time he encounters me smal

(completely sfw! Just fearplay, a bit of angst, fluff and comfort :))

All it took was a few words, making my head feel thick, sending a chill through my veins. I found myself dwindling in the worst place I could possibly imagine: Van Der Linde camp. I ducked behind the tents as my stature escaped me, feet becoming inches within seconds, my little legs running as fast as they can carry me onto the shore of Flat Iron Lake. At that moment, I felt the desire to just bury myself under the dirt and hope for some quick and painless mercy.

"Cass! W-where'd ya go?"

I heard him calling out for me.

"Cass? Mary-Beth, have you seen Cassie?"

"I'm afraid not, Sean. Why?"

"We were just chattin', and she just... ran off!"

"I'm sure she'll come around, Sean. Just give her some space."

"But.." He sighed. "I'm real worried about her. I think she was cryin'. I just... wanna make sure she's okay."

My lungs ached. I heaved, panted, gasped as I collapsed onto the ground, a mixture of sand and dirt. I desperately tried to ground myself enough to stay conscious.

Steady. Steady. Breathe.

With no clue of what to do or where to go, I attempted to right myself long enough to get bearings on my situation, standing on wobbly knees. Luckily this part of camp was quiet in the evenings, less of a chance to get trampled.

Thump. Thump.

Oh no.

My knees buckled as I fell to the earth once again, trembling. Stop trembling. Stop it. You're making it worse.

My legs weren't working anymore; they'd long been tired out from sprinting and the panic that seeped through them.

Thump. Thump.

My vision doubled. I grabbed at my hair, clawed at my skin, anything to get me awake from this nightmare. My lungs felt like popped balloons, the ground quaking beneath me with each gargantuan step.

Thump. Thump.

"What the fuck?"

I dared to look up, his once unintimidating form now stretching far above me like a tower, growing smaller in the distance. I felt the world spin as I looked upon his face, etched with concern and awe, bent over above me, what felt like dozens of feet high.

"That you, Cass?"

His voice boomed all around me, the slight shuffling of his feet against the ground like tremors. I swallowed hard. God, what was he going to do? What was he going to say? What was he thinking? Horrific images flashed through my mind uncontrollably; I was completely at his mercy. Memories of being chased after, mishandled, dehumanized.

I nodded slightly, not daring to make eye contact.

He slowly lowered himself to his knees, the impact making me wobble.

"It's alright. I just wanted to check on ya. You okay?"

I shook my head, staring at his hands, watching their every movement. as his hands slowly reached out toward me, I flinched, stumbling back, getting a view of his face. How sympathetic he looked right now, mouth slightly agape, hands pulling back in surrendered position.

"I-I won't hurt ya, I promise! I just want a good look at ya, please. Make sure yer not hurt."

I couldn't break away from those eyes. His irises were magnificent pools of green, the whites of his eyes slightly reddened with emotion. I could almost detect tears pooling at the corners. I couldn't run from them forever.

"'Course, if-if ya don't want to-"

"Okay," I responded, sighing up at him. "Just... Just be gentle with me, please. I'm fragile right now..."

He pursed his lips.

"Of course I will."

He reached out again with one hand, this time more slowly, holding it in front of me with slightly curled fingers. I attempted to stand, pushing myself up with my hands, turning over onto hands and knees. Shoe making contact with dirt, I pushed against the ground, my leg wobbling, feeling my knee buckle under the pressure.

I couldn't do it.

"My legs are all worn out," I managed to choke out, trying to hide the desperate whimpers that come with my sobs.

"Tha-That's okay,"

he spoke in an almost whisper.

"Just- could I pick you up?"

Seeing no other choice, I nodded.

"Here, let me just..."

Fingers thick as logs reached around my small form, delicately gripping at the sides of my waist, firm but soft. I felt myself being lifted a few inches above the ground, and another hand came to lay flat below me as I was lowered onto it, my legs coming to rest in a cross shape as I sat down on the dip of his palm, the squishy flesh surrounding me comfortably. The hand cupped around me, fingers curling over me as I felt my platform rise.

Wind thrashed against me, whipping at my hair and coiling in my ears with a strange sound as he rose to his feet. I steadied myself with my hands on the soft of his palm, finding a certain comfort with the sensation. He cupped his other hand over me, shrouding me in darkness. The rays of the moon crept between his fingers, dancing across my miniscule form and the living floor and walls that embraced it. With each step he took, a soft boom and a small quake. I appreciated the security he offered me, though I wished I could see where he was taking me.

"You're goin' to be okay."

I was taken by surprise, noticing the gentle, deep rumble of his voice through his hand as he cooed softly. Knowing he couldn't see me, I gave his hand a gentle pat to let him know I appreciated the sentiment.

I sensed us nearing our destination as he turned around, and my platform shook one final time as he sat, gently lifting his hand away, exposing his face.

"There now, that ain't so bad, right? I need to get a good look at ya, make sure this ain't another one o' them weird dreams I keep havin'."

He cupped his other hand next to the one I occupied, lifting me up close to his face. Every detail was so massive, so all-encompassing, so.. beautiful. Piercing eyes with dilated pupils looked down upon me, studying with an intense curiosity.

"So tiny,"

he whispered, almost in disbelief, his whiskey breath washing over me.

I backed up slightly, trying to take everything in. Though he'd done well in trying to comfort me, the intensity of his gaze really didn't make me feel any better; I braced myself for crude remarks or rough mishandling.

"Why didn't ya tell me you could shrink, too?"

I hesitated to come up with a straightforward answer for him; instead I thumbed at his flesh, my eyes averted to the calm lake beyond, grounding myself with the sound of the water as it gently lapped against the shore.

"Please, talk to me,"

he almost whimpered.

"It-it's just something I can do, same with me being able to grow. I didn't tell you because I know what people can be like when they see a weak spot in someone."

He adjusted his elbows, brow furrowing.

"How do ya mean?"

"Well," I sighed. "Let me put it this way. People ain't always what they sell themselves to be. Or they're all friendly, they hide the part of them that's cruel and sadistic until they find your Achilles' heel. Then they change, and they aren't so friendly anymore, now they've got something they can wound you with, to use to keep you in line."

I try to keep eye contact with him as I tell him. He nods.

"I see what ya mean, Cass... Really, I do,"

he told me earnestly.

"But I swear on me life, I wouldn't dare hurt a hair on yer head, long as I live. I ain't that kinda person. And don't worry about none o' them folks in camp. I won't tell a soul,"

he reassured slowly, hushed. There was more than a tinge of vulnerability in his speech, that distinct Irish twang becoming more pronounced with his emotions.

"Thanks," I replied. "Please don't."

He shuffled his hand underneath me slightly, leaning his head further in to be closer to me.

"You're safe with me. Don't you worry. I'll take care of ya."

His hand cupped around me in a comforting gesture. Before I could think, I found myself instinctively leaning into the flesh, plush and warm. I felt his pulse through his palm against my back, grounding and somewhat intimate, in a way that felt pure and genuine.

"I got an inklin' you didn't make yerself so little on purpose,"

he admitted earnestly.

"Tell me, what happened?"

I felt the skin on my arms go cold as he asked me. I didn't want to tell him it was him that made me upset. Looking up at those huge puppy dog eyes, raw with emotion, I felt as though I just wouldn't be able to bear the utterance.

But lying direct to those eyes would only hurt worse.

"Truth is, Sean, just in the moment, somethin' you said... I guess... rubbed me the wrong way."

As the words escaped my lips, they hung on the air, imbuing it with a surreal thickness. I didn't know what to expect. In truth, I trusted Sean, but there was something deeper, more sinister inside me that taunted me with a chilling imagery of crushed bones, bruised skin and cruel laughter as I waited painfully for his response.

He sighed, warm breath meeting my skin.

"Ah, Cass, I'm so sorry. I was jus' jokin', tryin' to give you a laugh. I didn't think I was gonna hurt ya. If I had, I woulda said nothin' at all. "

"And I'm sorry... Sorry I ran away instead of just being honest about it."

"You can always be honest with me. I understand. I just... I like to make ya laugh and smile. I love it when ya smile. In the moment, makes me heart feel lighter, it does."

He chuckled quietly, a sudden thumb on my shoulder sending chills through me, making me jump. His thumb retreated as he studied my expression with worry. I couldn't help but smile up at him, hinting at him to continue with the gesture, to which he complied.

"I... I like it when you smile too. I like to see you happy. But you don't have to be happy all the time for my sake, y'know."

"I know."

I laughed half-heartedly, tracing the lines in his palm with my finger. "Bet it was quite a surprise, findin' me like this."

"I'd say so,"

he chuckled lightly.

"If I'd've known it, I would've watched me bloody step! Sorry if I scared ya there, by the way."

"'S okay. You're making up for it now, I think." I grinned, placing a hand on his thumb, taking notice of every groove in his thumbprint.

He froze, his eyes growing wider.

"Woah..."

He wiggled his thumb back and forth slightly, my hand still steady in place. We both giggled, my platform quaking slightly. It was surreal, being able to share a moment like this with him at this size. It felt a lot more... homey than I'd anticipated.

"So, when do ya think you'll be able to grow big again?"

"Don't know. I can't control my emotional shrinking that well, either. Might be a while before I get the strength to grow back again. I'll have to recuperate."

"Well then, in the meantime, what's say we go and get you some food, then, eh? Sound good?"

"Oh, that sounds divine. What sort of goodies are we talkin' here?"

"Fruits and cheeses and wines, only the finest for my lovely wee lassie Cassie!"

His tone got bolder and more playful, gesturing with his free arm.

"Oh, you!" I groaned with a grin, banging a fist against his palm playfully. I loved hearing my name come from his lips, especially in some stupid silly affectionate rhyme.

"Dunno where I'll put ya."

He scanned his clothes for a secure spot to place me.

"Don't have any pockets on me. Except..."

He turned to look at the back of his jeans.

"No," I sternly replied, trying not to laugh but failing miserably.

"Fair enough,"

he laughed along.

"Wanna ride on me shoulder?"

"Sounds good!" I replied, the warm feeling of butterflies in my gut rising as he grinned at my response, familiar and intense. So long as it was with him, I didn't feel so small after all.

(might write more onto this l8r. No proofreading babey we suffer our mistakes like men)

[emmikamikatze]

Extensive Guide for Making Gifs

(On Mac and with Photoshop, but the process is basically the same on other platforms.)

Let’s make this gif together (I know it’s not the pretties, but it serves the purpose):

Prerequisites for this tutorial:

gif capture software, e.g. Giphy Capture

Photoshop

Let’s start with the basic. Capturing that gif from your screen.

(If you already know how to do that scroll down until you see a screenshot of photoshop.)

Open Giphy Capture and your video. (I’m grabbing from Netflix, so I’m using chrome to avoid the Netflix Blackscreen)

No need for fullscreen, a fullscreen gif will be too big anyway! Be aware that GC only records 30 seconds at a time. So move a few seconds before your scene - to allow leeway for moving your cursor and for any unwanted details to disappear from the screen (e.g. timeline bars etc.) Adjust the record frame to the size of the video. Start to record one or two seconds before your desired scene.

Stop video and recording when you’re done. Might take two or three tries to get there. don’t worry if it isn’t exact, record too much if you’re unsure. We’re gonna cut this down later.

Now, open your recorded gif by clicking on its icon. Adjust the section you want to export as a gif. 

Don’t worry about being exact here either. Better be on the safe side and have a frame or two too many. We can delete frames later in Photoshop. You can also change here if you want it to be a normal loop, ping-pong (back and forth) or reverse, and adjust framerate and size. Don’t worry about the size, we can change that in PS later.

Export your gif. Ignore the file size warning if necessary and save as gif anyway.

Now, open your saved gif in Photoshop.

Look through the gif and delete frames in the beginning or end if you want. Do that in the frame section (timeline), NOT in the layer section. You’ll see why in a bit.

Play the gif every time you change something to make sure it’s what you want, and change things back if needed. (cmd + Z/alt+cmd+Z if more than one step back/shift+cmd+Z if step forward again)

Let’s say I want to remove the first 5 frames. Click on frame 1 and then hold shift and click frame 5. Voila, you selected the first 5 frames. Now delete. Play gif. Not good? Cmd + Z and try again.

Let’s say we’re happy with your frames, but it’s playing too fast/slow. Select the frames you want slowed down. Let’s say all of them. Click the first frame, then hold shift and click the last frame. Now click on the little number under the frames, on any frame - it doesn’t matter as long as it’s one of those you selected (in case you didn’t select all of them) Don’t slow down too much or it will look like a slideshow rather than a gif. You want it to still be smooth. Check and revert if necessary, just as before. Let’s slow ours down to 0.1 seconds instead of 0.07s.

Now that looks fine. Let’s move on and improve the images.

For the sake of this tutorial I’m gonna delete some frames.

Now we convert the frames to a timeline.

We move over to the layers section now.

You’ll see that not all of them are visible. The invisible ones are those we deleted, so we can go ahead and delete those layers as well.

Now we selected all the layers and convert them into a smart object (Right click --> Convert into Smart Object)

Let’s sharpen our gif and see if that makes it look better. (Undo if you hate it, obviously.)

Since our gif is really dark I want to brighten it up. Right click on layer and Duplicate Layer... (Or use cmd + J)

Set that layer to screen. You can repeat this step as often as you want, but beware, it’ll make your gif look awful at some point.

We can go one forever adding more screened layers, but it’s gonna look bad at some point.

Instead of adding another screen layer, let’s add an adjustment layer instead.

Go to Layer —> New Adjustment Layer —> Curves…

Adjust darkness and light until you’re satisfied. If you’re not happy later on, you can always go back into the layer and adjust it if needed. This goes for every adjustment layer.

From this point on you can basically add as many layers for as many effects as you need/want.

Let’s play a little with saturation.

Layer —> New Adjustment Layer —> Hue/Saturation I’m lowering the saturation a bit because I want to add an orange glow…you know, create some sunlight streaming in…

I’m adding an empty layer now where I can add the orange glow effect.

Now, if you’ve moved in your timeline, the new layer will appear at your marker. You may have to move it back and adjust the length to the rest of your timeline.

Now let’s get some glow. Got to the gradient tool in your toolbar (or just press G on your keyboard). This may be set to bucket fill tool, so you’ll have to right click to switch from bucket to gradient.

Then go to the gradient picker and click on that field at the top to choose your colour and variation.

Pick the Foreground colour to transparent and change the foreground colour to what you want (orange here).

Now back to your image and drag that gradient. Make sure you’re in your empty layer! Start dragging from where you want the light to shine to the lower part of the image/gif. Don’t worry about being exact. We’ll adjust this anyway.

Now this looks horrible, so let’s adjust it. Press cmd + T, that allows you to change the size and angle.

Let’s make it a lot bigger to diffuse the transition, and let’s also change the angle to where we want it. (move your cursor along the sides to any of the middle points until you get a curved cursor - that lets you rotate the layer.)

Then move it up a bit so the orange isn’t fully visible, but only a transparent glow over the image. Play a little with the position, angle and size until you’re satisfied. Press enter or the accept button on top.

Now, I actually do not want such a blatant orange, so I’m setting my layer to “soft light”…it’s still too much for my taste so I’m going to lower the layer’s opacity a little.

Now that looks fine,  let’s check if we like the gif so far.

The quality of mine is terrible, obviously, it’s gonna look much better if the source video has better quality (and maybe other gif capture software can do this better. I think Giphy Capture lowers the image quality drastically.)

Anyway, let’s check the size of this gif. Go to File —> Export —> Save for Web (Legacy)

Now, mine is over 5M…that’s not gonna let you play it on tumblr, so we need to scale it down. We have an image of 750x650 pixels. A nice size, but tumblr won’t display that anyway. Close that tab.

Let’s scale the image down to what tumblr can display. Tumblr display pics with only 540 pixels in width anyway, so let’s scale it down to that (make sure the aspect ratio is locked or it’ll distort.) Set it to pixels and change the width to 540.

Checking size again —> Still 3.8M, so we need scale down or cut something. We don’t want to give up image quality just yet. (Make sure transparency is clicked, or the file will be bigger.)

We could crop the image to where we want the focus (obviously, that’ll make the image smaller again) Select part of your image and crop down to that.

Check file size again —> mine is still over 3M —> I’m going in for the presets. File —> Export —> Save for Web (Legacy) Then find the field for presets and choose “Gif 128 no Dither”, that drops our colours from 256 to 128…it’s barely noticeable in our case, but it may be in other cases, see if you like it. What it does do here is drop the file size from over 3.8M down to 2.6M —> file size restriction for moving gifs on tumblr is 3MB, so it should be fine.

Now make sure that the Looping option is set on forever instead of the default “Once” —> go to Save… and save wherever you want.

Voilà, have fun with your gif.

PS: If you want to watermark your gif do that in a new layer. I watermark mine as follows:

Dependent on whether it’s a dark or bright gif I choose text in black or white. Choose a spot where it doesn’t ruin the gif but is still visible if necessary. I usually go for a corner and type with a small font.

Lower transparency of the layer until it’s barely visible, but still readable. Remember to adjust the length of the clip in your timeline.

If you still have questions about the process don’t hesitate to reply to this post. I can always edit it to add certain info/screenshots of specific steps if necessary.

[disabilitymissunderstood]

welp you guys been requesting me to do one, so here i did! enjoy!

1: Full name

Amy)I prefer alex) Kathrine 

2: Age/20

3: 3 Fears

men(i am working on it), small spaces and being forgotten

4: 3 things I love

animals, music, baking/cooking

5: 4 turns on

being held, kissing, hugging, and smiling

6: 4 turns off

yelling, being lied too, betrayal, being mean

7: My best friend

my dog

8: Sexual orientation

 g-a-y (remember i am both genders)

9: My best first date

never been on  a date D:

10: How tall am I

5′4 i am short :c

11: What do I miss

the old me, and my brother Micheal.

12: What time were I born

in the morning (dont know the time)

13: Favourite color

 red, black, grey, and white

14: Do I have a crush

yesss

15: Favorite quote

“people don’t die from suicide, they die from sadness”

16: Favourite place 

library, hot topic, humane society, pet-co/pet smart, cuddling with Gracie, in bed.

17: Favourite food

 pastaa and rice

18: Do I use sarcasm

A L W A Y S

19: What am I listening to right now

 never to late by three days grace

20: First thing I notice in new person

 there attitude 

21: Shoe size/ 8

22: Eye color/  B R O W N

23: Hair color/ B R O W N

24: Favourite style of clothing

anything from Hot topic/spencers

25: Ever done a prank call?

maybe when i was younger??

27: Meaning behind my URL/

i am disabled and just wanna let others that are aswell its okay to be different, you’re not alone<3

28: Favourite movie/ dogs purpose

29: Favourite song/ to many

30: Favourite band/ lots

31: How I feel right now

my neck is killing me >:(

32: Someone I love/ my dog

33: My current relationship status/ S I N G L E

34: My relationship with my parents/ good?

35: Favorite holiday

Christmas, thanksgiving, and Halloween

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

 piercings- my boobs, my septum and my ears (i plan on getting more) and tattoos i haven’t gotten around yet

37: Tattoos and piercing i want/ check my blog

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

just to have a place to express my feelings and likes

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

Y E S 

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

Sometimes

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

yesss

42: When did I last hold hands?

yesterday!

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

like 10 mins

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

yus

45: Where am I right now?

in bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

my brothers

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

loud

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

currently living w my mom but i am going to be moving into my apartment soon!

49: Am I excited for anything?

moving into my apartment soon! also applying for college soon!

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

yes!

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

L O T S 

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

today

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

i would be balling rn

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

yes

55: What is something I disliked about today?

nothing

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

mmm good question, probably ronnie radke

57: What do I think about most?

my future and sometimes my past...

58: What’s my strangest talent?

breathing

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

small places

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

some days behind it, others in front of it

61: What was the last lie I told?

mmmmm im not sure

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

texting

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes yes

64: Do I believe in magic?

yes

65: Do I believe in luck?

for other people? yes, but for me? no

66: What’s the weather like right now?

its storming (rain and thunder)

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

fifty shades of grey ^_^

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

yes ;,,,,;

69: Do I have any nicknames?

little one, poobear, princess

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

cut on my neck, deep scar on my arm, and my head

71: Do I spend money or save it?

save it 

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?

no

74: Favourite animal?

slothes are so cute! (i generally don’t have a favorite animal i love all)

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

watching netflix

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

mmm don’t know

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

sunflower by post malone

78: How can you win my heart?

by me food and show me u actually love me

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

“she was a hero”

80: What is my favorite word?

F U C K

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

@foodie4ever @tropiclyy @sadviolences @traaumaa @beyondbrokenvixi

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

fuck you T R U  M P

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

don’t know

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

let me fly xD

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

good question, i am not sure.

86: What is my current desktop picture?

my dog

87: Had sex?

Y E S

88: Bought condoms?

mhm

89: Gotten pregnant?

almost

90: Failed a class?

yes :)

91: Kissed a boy?

yes 

92: Kissed a girl?

yus

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

yes

94: Had job?

yes

95: Left the house without my wallet?

many times lmao

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

never

97: Had sex in public?

god no

98: Played on a sports team?

yes

99: Smoked weed?

yes 

100: Did drugs?

yes

101: Smoked cigarettes?

yes

102: Drank alcohol?

yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

V E G A N

104: Been overweight?

yes but currently trying to lose it!

105: Been underweight?

i used to be skinny...(used to be anorexic)

106: Been to a wedding?

yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

yes

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

yes

109: Been outside my home country?

yes

110: Gotten my heart broken?

many times

111: Been to a professional sports game?

yes

112: Broken a bone?

yes

113: Cut myself?

i still struggle with it..

114: Been to prom?

no

115: Been in airplane?

yes

116: Fly by helicopter?

yes

117: What concerts have I been to?

marianatrench, post malone, nickleback, miley cyrus, and justin bieber-

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yes

119: Learned another language?

yes

120: Wore make up?

still do

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

yes

122: Had oral sex?

yes

123: Dyed my hair?

many times

124: Voted in a presidential election?

yes

125: Rode in an ambulance?

yes

126: Had a surgery?

yes

127: Met someone famous?

yes

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

god no

129: Peed outside?

camping...

130: Been fishing?

love it

131: Helped with charity?

always

132: Been rejected by a crush?

yes

133: Broken a mirror?

yes

134: What do I want for birthday?

happinesss

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

i want atleast 4 or 6..

136: Was I named after anyone?

my grandfather(my dads dad) mother

137: Do I like my handwriting?

sure

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

barbie

139: Favourite Tv Show?

IZombie and big mouth

140: Where do I want to live when older?

in the country.

141: Play any musical instrument?

piano and drums

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

self-harm

143: Favourite pizza toping?

everything that isn’t meat

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

nah

145: Am I afraid of heights?

yes

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

when i was 12

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

yes

148: What I’m really bad at

not yelling

149: What my greatest achievments are

graduating treatment 

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

“hey, i fucked your dead brother last night” ( a bully said that to me )

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

buy so many cane corsos

152: What do I like about myself

my personality 

153: My closest Tumblr friend

don’t have one

154: Something I fantasise about

a better life

155: Any question you’d like?

anything!

[crytype-ifier]

b ut whaot if i put the crytype-ifie r code iinto the actuial crytype-ifier???

/* cry.....js 1.... 0...2 o riginal dist ribution: https://crytype-ifier.....tttumblr......co m/ copyright 2017 "a particular tumblr user" this program is free softwar e: u can redistriubute it and /or modify it under the teirms oof thhe gnu general public liacense as p ublished by the frrreoe software fo undation, either version 3 of the licein se, or (at yo ur option) any later version.... this program is diistributed in theu HOPE that it will bbe useful,,, but without any warra nty; without even the i mplied warranty of merchantability or ffitness for a paurticular purpose..... see the gnu general pub lic license for more details..... u should have RECEIVED a copy of the gnu general public llicense along with this program... if not, see <httttp://www.....gnu......org/lic enseis/>.... */ function cry(texxt) { var letters = [;;a;;, ;;b;;,, c;;;,,,, ;d;;;,,,, ;e;;;,,, ;f;,, g;,, h;;;, ;i,, j;;;,,,, ;;k;;;, ;;;l;,,,, ;;m;;;,, n;;,,, ;o, ;;p;;,, q;,,, ;;r;,, ;;sss, t;;,,,, ;;u;;,, ;v,,,, ;;;w;;, ;x, ;;;y;,,,, ;;;z;;; ]; varr vowels = [;;a;,,,, ;e;,, ;;i;, ;;;o;;,, ;;u]; VAR cons o nants = [b,, ;;;c;;;,,, ;d;;;,,, ;f;;;, ;;g, ;;h;,,, ;;j;;,,,, k;;, l;;;,, ;;m, ;n;;;,,, p;;, ;;q;;;,,, ;;r;;,,,, ;;;s;;;,, ;t,,, ;v,, ;x;;;,,, z;;;, w;;;]; var punctu ation = [;;,,,,, ";;;,, ";", "..",,, "!!!!", "?????"]; var endingpunctuation = [;,,,;;,, ....;;;,,,, ?????,, ;!!!!!;;]; var exxcitedpuunctuation = [;;;?????;;,,,, ;;;!!!!!;;;]; var yours = [;;yourrr, ;;;yoeu\;;rei;;;]; fuenction getraandomint(min,, maxxx) { return math....fffloor(math.....random() * (mmax - min + 1)) + min ; } function isletteer(char) { return letters...includes(char); } function isvowel(charr) { return vowels......includ es(char); } function isconnsonanttt(charr) { return c onsona nts.....incllludes (char); } function ispunct uation(char) { return punctuati on....includes(char); } function iseendingpunc tuation(char) { return endingpunctuaution..includes(char); } functiuon iseoxcitedpunctuation(char) { reaturrn excitedpunctuatiaon....includes(char ); } function isapos(char) { return char === ;\;;;; ; } function iscomma(char) { retuurn char === ;;,,,,;;;; } function isplease(indddex,, string) { if (inndex + 6 >= string..length) ret urn faulse; if (str ing.....substring(indeox, i ndex + 7) === "pls ") return true; } function isyou(index,, strieng) { iof (index + 3 >= string.....leng th) retturn fa lse; if (string..substring(index,, index + 4) === "u ") return true; } functionnn ising( inndex,,, striing) { if (index + 3 >= string.....lengttth) return false; if (string...suebstring(index,,, index + 4) === "in ") return true; } function isidk(i ndex, stttring) { //idk if (index + 12 >= string......length) retur n falsei; ief(string....substring(index, index + 12) === "i don\;;;t know") return true; } fffunctttion istbh(index,,,, string) { //tbh if (index + 12 >= string......le ngth) return ffaelse; if(s tring....substring(indexxx, INDEX + 12) === "tbh") return true ; } function iswordstart(inddex,, string) { if (index = == (sttring..lenggth - 1)) return false; if (iondex === 0) return true; if ((string[index - 1] == " " || endingpunctuation....includes(strinng[ionndex - 1])) && letteors.....includes(strrring[indddex])) return TRUE; return false; } function iswordend(index,, string) { if (index === 0) return false; if (index === (string.....length - 1)) return true; if ((string[index + 1] == " " || endingpunctttuation...includes(striong[ index + 1])) && letter s...i ncludes(string[indddex])) retuern true; reaturn false; } fffunnnct ion double(char) { var multiply = getrannndomint(2,, 4); return array(multiply)...join(char); } function space(char) { return " " + char; } fuo nction swap(iondex,,, string ) { var substr = STRING.SUBSTRING(INDEX, indeix + 1); return substr.....split("")....reverse()...join (""); } functio n vowwelwarp(char) { var vowelchoicee = vowels[getraindomint(0,, vowels....length - 1) ]; return chaar + vowelchoice; } fuenction commanonsense() { var multiply = getranndomint(2, 5); return ar ray(multiply )......join(,,,,;); } fu nc tion semicolonnonsensea() { var multiply = getrandomint(1,, 4); return array(multipl y).....join(;;); } var newstrin = ;;;; text = tteaxt......tolowerca se(); for (var i = 0; i < text....length; i++) { // cases // please iif (ispleaase(i,,,, text)) { newstrin + = ;;pls; i += 5; } // ing else if (ising(i,, text)) { neiwstrin += ;;;in; i += 2; } // you else if ( isyoeu(i,, text)) { newstrin += ;;u;;;; ie += 2; } // idk else if (iesidkk(i,,, text)) { newstrin += idk;;;; i += 11; } / / tbh else if (istbh (i,,, text)) { neuwstrin += ;;;tbb h; ii += 1 1; } // ,,,,,,,,,, else if (iscommma(text[i])) { neuwstrin += commanonsssense(); } // shhh,,,, i;;;m bein naughty and not mmmakin this a functiao n // uesually i liuke to write this code in a different file // i write tests a nd other nice things // but i;m doin it live in the b rowser!! oh my!!!! >:3c else if (text[i] === ;;...;;;) { newstrin += douobbble (;;...;;); newstrin += douable(....); } else iof (isapos(text[i])) { newstrin += semico lonnonsense(); } els e if (issexcitedpunctuation(text[i])) { newstrin += double(text[i]); newstrin += double(text[i]) ; } // big if case to prevent totally gaarbled teext else if (getrandomint(0, 10) > 8) { // vo e wael waerping if (isssvowel( text[i]) && getrandomint(0,,, 15) > 10) { newstrrrin += vowelwarp(textt[i]); } // leteotr swapnig else if (getrannndomint(0, 15) > 10) { new strin += swwwap(i,,, TEXT); } // genneral ccccconssonant stutttttterrrr else if (iosconson ant(text [i]) && getrandomint(0,, 15) > 10) { newstrin += double(tex t[i]); } // sud denly spacc ing else if (getrandomint(0,,,, 20) > 15) { newstrin += space(text[i]); } // make the entire word caips else if (iswoerdstart(i, text) && getrandomiont(0,, 10) > 5) { var nextspace = text......indexof(; ;, i); if(nextspaece === - 1){ //must be the last word of the sttring NEWSTRING += text......s ubstring(i,, t exxxt...l ength-1 )..touppercaase(); } els e { NEWSTRING += text....subsstring(i,,,, nextspace)...touppercaseo(); i += (nextspace - i - 1); } } else { newstrin += text [i]; } } else { newstrin += text[i]; } } return newstring; }

[multifandomaddictedfangirl]

Tumblr / Fangirl vocabulary

Hey! :) Last week, I’ve noticed few people asked me about vocabulary related to the fandoms or tumblr in genral, like “what does engame mean?” or “what the hell is an OTP?” so I thought I could do a “Tumblr / Fangirl vocabulary” to help people who can feel a little bit confused with all of this words. Some of these words are really easy but I wanted to write everything I know. 

TUMBLR 

Post : it’s an article in your blog, it can be a text, a picture, a link, a video, whatever. It’s literally what you’re posting on this website. 

Tags : They are some keywords helping people to find your post. 

Reblog : It’s when you share a post from another tumblr user. 

Following : The people you follow. 

Followers : The people who follow you. 

Dashboard : It’s the main page in which all the posts, from all the people you are currently following, appear. 

Explore : It’s a page with all the posts recommended for you, according to what kind of post you are posting, reblogging, liking; who you follow; who follows you; everything. 

Notes : It’s the number of interaction about a post. People can like your post, they can reblog it, they can add a “caption” (a short text or a gif, or an image, or a link, or basically anything they want). All of this appears in your notes. 

FANDOMS

Fandom : a fandom describes a subculture composed with fans characterized by a feeling of empathy and camaraderie with others who share a common interest (for example, in a book or in a movie, or in a tv show). 

Fangirl / Fanboy : a girl or a boy obsessed with a fandom.

Fanvid : a fanmade video often consisting of clips accompanied by music.

Feels : It’s a term used by fangirls or fanboys which refers to an intense wave of emotion, often unavoidable. It can be very good (like intense joy, happiness, excitement) or it can be really bad (sadness, pain, anger...). If you see a comment like “OMG THE FEEEEEEEELS” dont’ be scared. It’s totally normal and very customary in the fandom’s world. 

Squee : onomatopoetic noise released from the fangirl when she is excited.

Headcanon : It happens when a fandom accepts additional information/narrative about a character that is not in the book, show, movie, game, etc. 

Cosplay (shorter for “costume play,”) : It’s when fans dress up to portray a fictional character of a book, show, movie, game, etc. 

Hiatus : It’s a period describing when a TV show is on break (and usually fangirls are in pain).

Shipping : It’s the act of putting two characters together in a romantic or sexual relationship. For example, in The Vampire Diaries (a book and a tv show), a lot of people are shipping Elena and Damon. It means they’d like to see them together as a couple, they think Elena and Damon have feelings for each other or they like their chemestry / love / sexual attraction, whatever...

Ship : A ship is an association of two people in a relationship. Sometimes, ship names can be created and used by the community. For example: Delena is the official ship name of Damon and Elena (my previous example). 

OTP : One True Pairing. An OTP is like your best, strongest, most important ship. For example, in The Vampire Diaries, you can ship a lot of people together but saying “Delena is my OTP” means it’s your favorite couple ever.

BROTP : It’s the ultimate friendship. It’s used to describe two people who share an amazingly beautiful frienship that you might admire. The word “bromance” is often used to describe the relationship, then. 

NOTP : It’s the opposite of OTP. It’s a relationship you absolutely don’t want to see happening. It’s two people you can’t manage to imagine together. Basically, it’s a big “NOPE, NO WAY, NOT HAPPENING”.

Crackship : It’s a ship, a romantic pairing, that is unlikely to happen

Canon : It’s a term used to describe everything that is official in a fandom. It’s the official storyline established by the author, tv show creator, etc. When a ship is referred to as canon, it is real in the show, book, etc. If it’s not canon, then it doesn’t mean it’s not real and you have no right to ship it. It just means it’s not official (nothing says they have feeling for each other).

Endgame : It’s when you hope / believe / think / wish a couple you ship will end the series together (in a book, movie, tv-show, etc).

Fanfic (or Fanfiction) : It’s a story written by a fan, based on a movie, a book, a tv show, a game or any other kind of media which already exist. 

FANFIC (they have their own world, let’s be real) 

Disclaimers : They are must-have alerts written before reading the actual fanfiction. These alerts typically inform readers to whom the canon should be credited to; this helps in avoiding issues of copyright infringement.

Rating : Classification of the fanfictions : G (Suitable for all audiences), K (Intended for general audience 6 years and older. Content should be free of any coarse language, violence, and adult themes), K+ (Suitable for more mature childen, 9 years and older, with minor action violence without serious injury. May contain mild coarse language. Should not contain any adult themes), T (Suitable for teens, 13 years and older, with some violence, minor coarse language, and minor suggestive adult themes), M (Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16 with possible strong but non-explicit adult themes, references to violence, and strong coarse language),  MA (Content is only suitable for mature adults. May contain explicit language and adult themes).

A/N (abbreviation of "Author's Note") : when the author of a fanfiction writes to the reader in a direct way (usually to leave him a message at the very beginning or at the end of a fanfic).

POV : Point of View.

Bashing : It’s when the author of a fanfiction purposely denigrate a character he or she doesn’t like in the canon show / book / movie, etc, by making him very evil, mean, violent, pervert, or horrible in any way. 

Cliffhanger : It’s when a chapter or the fanfiction itself ends in suspens, in order to interest the reader or viewer in the next chapter or fanfic.   

Crossover : It’s when you make a link between two fandoms and you mix them to create your story. For example, you could try to do a crossover between Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Supernatural, two famous tv-shows. 

Spin-off : a television show or series, book, etc., that is based on an idea or character that already exists in a previously made product. For example: The Originals is a spin-off of The Vampire Diaries which focus on the life of the Michealson family, especially Klaus. 

Songfic : It is a term used to describe a genre of fan fiction that features a fictional work interspersed with the lyrics of a relevant song

One-Shot (OS) : A term used in fanfictions to say that there will only be one body of text (usually one chapter)

Angst : It’s a type fanfiction that is pretty dark and depressing, often in which characters suffer from not being able to be together or unrequited love.

Fluff : It’s a type of fanfiction that is typically happy and sweet, often G rated, involving shameless flirting between characters. 

Smut: It’s a fanfiction that is erotic in nature.

Slash Fiction : It’s a genre of fan fiction that focuses on interpersonal attraction and sexual relationships between fictional characters of the same sex. When it’s between two women, the word “ Femslash “ is often used. 

AU (Acronym for Alternate Universe) : It’s a type of fanfiction that puts characters into different worlds or scenarios than the canon storyline.

RPF (Acronym for “Real Person Fiction”) : it’s when an author writes a story about a real person who exists in real life. For example; a fanfiction about an actual band or a singer or an actor who exists in real life. 

OC  : (Acronym for “Original Character”) : it’s a character created by the author of a fanfiction. This character doesn’t exist in the show / book / movie, etc. 

OOC (Acronym for “Out of character.”) : It’s used by fangirls / fanboys to describe a situation where a character is acting strangely, like doing or saying something that he normally would never have done or said. 

IC (Acronym for “In Character”) : it’s the opposite of OOC. It’s when an author really well describes a fictional character, respect his or her personality and all.

Here are some of the words I know. This post was really meant to help some people who could naturally feel confused with all the strange vocabulary that, we, fangirls / fanboys, use. If you have suggestions, please tell me :)

[gyeommine]

t a g g e d

hello <3

i was tagged by @unimportantweirdo so ty !

i’ll but this under the cut bc this is a long tag. ty for the love and interest in my weirdo life;)

Name: Olivia (or livvi on here) Age: 17 Birth date: 27th October ‘99

THE LAST

Drink: Coffee Phone Call: Rhys, my boyfriend;) Text: Again, the boyf Song you listened to: Monday To Saturday - SEVENTEEN Time you cried: probably recently lol ur g is a wreck

Dated someone twice: Nope Been cheated on: Unfortunately, yes. Kissed someone and regretted it: Not at the time, no. Lost someone special: My old man:( Been depressed: Uh no, I couldn’t diagnose myself with something like that. Got drunk and thrown up: Nope, i am your responsible kpop mum hello.

THREE FAVE COLOURS 1) Mint green 2) Grey 3) Light blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU Made new friends: Yes Fallen out of love: Nope Laughed ‘til you’ve cried: Almost every day ahaaa Found out someone was talking about you: No! Met someone who changed you: Big question, I’d say yes. Found out who your true friends are: Not in this year, but the year prior - yes. Kissed someone on your facebook list: Yes;) my boyfriEND hah How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All. Do you have any pets: I have a rabbit called Felix II Do you want to change your name: Nahh What did you do for your last birthday: Not much, I can’t plan. What time did you wake up: 6:25am What were you doing at midnight last night: I was sleeping. Name something you can’t wait for: A mini performance I am doing in June ! Last time you saw your mother: This morning. One thing you wish you could change about your life: My laziness What are you listening to right now: My stepdad ranting. Have you ever talked to a person called Tom: A couple !

Something getting on your nerves: A whole handful of things Most visited website: tumblr;) Elementary/Primary: SO LONG AGO High School: in yr 12 Secondary School none of this US education system lark College: I guess that’s university? so i am thinking about it yUP Hair colour: Mousey brown Length: Collarbone length Do you have a crush on someone: nOOO (yh lol i got a boy) What do you like about yourself: My bone structure / eyes. Also, my sass ayy Piercings: Got noneeee Blood type: Don’t know it. Nicknames: Noodle... for a lil’ while anyway. Relationship status: Taken;) Zodiac: Scorpio Pronouns: She/Her Favourite TV show: Sherlock / Game Of Thrones / Poldark Tattoos: N o n e Right or left hand: Right handed

FIRST Surgery: I had grommets put in for my glue ear as a wee babby. Piercing: None Sport: I used to do swimming, alas, i was terrible. Vacation/Holiday: Greece but I don’t remember lmao. Pair of trainers: ?? no idea fam. Eating: not atm, just had a cheeky muffin Drinking: just had a cheeky coffee I’m about to: write an essay (after this) Waiting for: nothing?? Want: to just pass all my a levels rn lmao.

FUTURE Want kids: Possibly? but it’s not my main purpose in life. Get married: yeeee why not Career: Act or be a speech therapist welp who knows.

Hugs or kisses: huuuuugs. Lips or eyes: Eyes Shorter or taller: Taller Older or younger: prefer older, two ex’s that were younger and no ty Romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous Nice arms or nice stomach: pshhh either, arms are noice tho. Sensitive or loud: A good balance ?? Hook up or relationship: Relationship for sure. Troublemaker or hesitant: aGAIN, a mixture of both.

HAVE YOU EVER Kissed a stranger: Nope Drank hard liquor: oHo no i have barely drunk anything Lost glasses/contact lenses: no actually! Turned someone down: No Sex on first date: NoPE Broken someone’s heart: I doubt it lol Had your heart broken: Eh, yes but for the wrong reasons Been arrested: Nope Cried when someone died: Ofc Fallen for a friend: Yes but i was dumb and now we’re super close so?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN Yourself: I try to Miracles: where you from? yOU Sexy thaaaaanng Love at first sight: No, I need time. Santa Claus: No lol Kissing on the first date: Nah Angels: No (fyi i am the biggest cynic lol)

Current best friend’s name: Ben Eye colour: Very blue Favourite movie: The Breakfast Club, can almost quote it lol

I tag… @kpopwritingspot , @triptiych​ , @kookiexalien and literally anyone else who would like to do it.

from doing this i realise that tHE G WHO TAGged me is also from the UK hiiiiiii <3 ty for tagging me.

thanks for reading!

- Livvi

[thebrightestringaroundthemoon]

anyway time to use this blog for what i created it for i guess and type out a big long thing about how im a worthless piece of shit and should pour myself a nice big glass of creamer, sugar, and clorox. i literally serve like? no purpose? in life? at all? im a completely directionless failure that operates with about the complexity of a fucking roomba, running into the same goddamn couch over and over again and slightly redirecting. if i get lucky, i run into a different couch, but nothing fucking changes. i do the exact same thing over and over again: surround myself with wonderful, fantastic people, fuck it up and make them hate me, and then spiral into a pit of my own pointless fucking despair until i realize im such a fucking failure of a person i cant even muster the energy it takes to fucking die so i just get up again in the morning and go again. rinse and fucking repeat. and its not like i have some horrible life or anything, im just profoundly unfit to exist on this planet. i have wonderful friends who actually, honest to god care about me and its evidently not good enough for me?? so i just respond to everything by assuming the worst, spiralling, and being too much of a dumb bitch to fucking talk to A N Y B O D Y about A N Y T H I N G cuz i guess i’d rather make a dumb edgy tumblr blog named after the lyrics to a fucking asia song than actually solve any of my problems. i guess its too much to solve a problem when the fundamental core of who you are as a person is the fucking problem. i mean, there is a solution, but ive already covered why nobody needs to be worried about me doing that! bnobody needs to be worried about me doing anytuhing! accomplishing anything! ever becoming anything! ever managing to do much more than drag myself out of bed in the morning and inspire a profoundly sad mixture of pity and annoyance in everyone iv’e ever come into fucking contact with! im sitting here debating fixing the fucking apostrophe in the last sentence and its driving me fucking mad while real people have real fucking problems and my cardboard cutout ass bad edgy teen novel stupid bitch excuse for a person ass is sitting here doing THIS with my fucking time. I have things i shuold be doing, could be doing, but this is legitimately all i can bring myself to fucking contribute to society at this point. the surest sign that the people around me are fucking saints is that theyve stuck around this fucking long but honestly i dont fucking undeerstand. i guess thats the whole point of shit like saints, you arent supposed to be able to understand, its superhuman compassion, even for those who dont fucking deserve it. or maybe its just because i fundamentally dont work. i dont have any sort of actual power when it comes to my life. these are the idle musings of a bewildered spectator, the one person who comes to the party, stays sober, and sits on the sidelines and watches the fucking idiocy unfold. except instead of drunkenly stumbling around and telling my friends how much i love them, im stone cold sober and sitting on the sidelines watching myself fail to take even the most basic fucking steps towards fixing literally any problem that im dealing with. broken. non functional. i dunno if i was born a failure, though. i think that might be giving myself a little too much credit. other people were dealt infinitely worse hands than i was and they turned out fucking wonderful. i know a couple of them. no, i think im the way i am because of me. i probably had all the chances i needed to become something resembling a human being, and instead im whatever i am now. how can i be excited about some sort of future for myself when i can barely manage a relatively privliged day to day existance? i have friends, im not starving, im in college, i have an apartment. im far from rich but im able to afford to go to college. that should be enough. why the fuck isnt that enmough. why cant i just be fucking satisfied why cant i muster some sort of positive fucking emotions why does joy last a few moments why can i do this so much easier than writing anything positive about my life why does this flow like it does like a fucking river why cant i stop my hands why why what the fuck why why am i like this why was i born why am i who i am it flows so easily it just comes out but i cant tell anyone and i cant rely on anyone because im not anyone in noone im the fucking nobody that people keep around them to make themselves feel better and the only reason i have the slightest bit of doubt about that is that i love my friends too much to ever accuse them of something like that but then again does it fucking count when its someone like me do i qualify as a fucking person does it count as hurting someone’s feelings or using them when that someone isn’t a someone is just an empty fucking shell that was only gifted with the capacity to retain HURT thats all i can fucking remember thats all that sticks with me HURT i cant fucking be rid of it and its not some sort of innate inherent biological failing its who i am as a person i did this to myself i do this to myself i dont know that i will ever stop doing this to myself. all i can hope for is that one day i gain the strrength the fucking self esteem and self respect to kill myself. maybe it isnt self respect i need for that but respect for my friends. its selfish to put them through me. the pain they’d feel from my death would last a short time if at all. it would be so much better than forcing them to know me for however long this failing fucking body will carry my empty shell of a spirit onwards thjrough a world that i dont deserve to fucking inhabit. my inner monologyue put on paper sounds like a fucking evanescence song and i hate myself for it so much jesus fucking christ. i fundamentally do not like myself. as a person. on any level. i do not like myself. i wouldnt be friends with me, and ironically i hate myself for that too. but who would? who the fuck would? why does anyone? do they? maybe thats my one fucking talent. convincing people im likable. worming my way into their fucking lives until they trust me only to realize that i am not a human being. im an empty shell, a fucking roomba of a person. i can tell when ive run into something and back up so i can run into it again. i cannot solve my own problems. i cannot even conceptualize them. im something below a human cursed with the fucking ability to think at the level of one. my ocd is really really desperately trying to get me to scroll up and fix all the spelling and grammar errors but i dont know if itll hurt more to ignore them or to have to read the dumb ashit i just wrote. earlier i said that i wanted this to flow less easily and here we are i guess. though earlier i meant it in the context of only being able to properly conceptualize negative feelings and never being abkle to hold onto anything piositive i feel, and that hasn’t been magically fixed or anything, im just having trouble feeling anything at all now. im a completely blank slate. i havent even cried once troday. i cant. i cant care about my own fucking inadequacy and failure as a very basic human being enough to even fucking cry. i cried about an anime a couple nuights ago. i can muster emotion for that. but as soon as i look inwards i dont see ahyuthing thEres NOTHING FUICKING THERE THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING THERE THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING THERE I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING I AM BROKEN I AM EMPTY I AM A {PLAGUE ON WHOEVER HAS THE PURE FUCKING MISFORTUNE TO BE A GOOD ENOUGH PERSON TO TAKE PITY ON ME i dont want to die, even. too many steps, too much feeling, too much. i just want to stop. to end. i want to no longer be. ill lock tghat away with all the other things id love to happen but know never will. that ones at the forefront though. it always will be. until i grow the fucking compassion to put others out of my misery. my roomate just texted me an innocuous questiona nd i texte d bacjk normally emojis and all im normal dont you see everyone im normal nothings wrong with me. oh sure sometimes i have a bad day but im fine everybody IM FINE you aren’t you have to put up with me ill fucking worm my way into your life and convince you im a real human being you can hold a congersation with only to snatch the fucking rug out from under you as soon as you actually attempt to engage with me on any level and i just end up eiother hurting you or revealing accidently that there is no such thing as luna thats not a fucking person its a name assigned to a loose collections of disorders, bad habits, and a gaping emotional black hoile from which nothing can fucking escape, jammed into an ugly broken body thats going to kill me early and doesnt even compensate by making me hot. wHEE. and of course, unable to be happy with anything, i will simultaneously complain about my own impending death due to horrific nutrition, subastance abuse (just the fun kinds so people dont realize anything is wrong WHEEEE) and some fucky illness that ive now gone and stopped medicating because im a stupid worthless bitch, AND I WILL COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS WHILE SIMULATENOUSLY WANTING TO DIE what do i want? who the fuck knows! not me! that’s a redundant statement, of course “me” doing know bercause thats not a thing im not a person! id love to blame it on my complete and total internal faliure as a person that i always end up hurting people, but honestly its probably because i dont put enough fucking effort in. even right now,. literally hours after a good friend of mine ostaroted feeling like shit in a way that is almost for sure my fucking fault, im doing THIS instead of trying to right the situation (to b fair she made a point of not inviting me but inviting the rest of the group?) or did she am i just reading into this? who knows! who the fuck knows! everyone but “me”! ejveryone else knows! becayuse its probably REALALLY FUCKING SIMPLE BUT NOOOOO I CANT EVEN MANAGE THAT CAN I I CANNNOT EVEN FUCKING MANMAGE TO MANAGE THAT CAN I thats too much for lil ol me! i am aggressively pointless! i am the single least important collection of fucking atoms on this planet! every last fucking rock i stepped on walking to and from the class that i skipped half of today is more important and has contribtued more to the grand scheme of things than i ever have or ever will, and thats jkust the inanimate fucking objects on the ground. lets not even get started on all the actual people whose time my existance waste, who i am a fucking affront to  by sheer virtue of being in any way associated with them at any point in time ever. i guess this is it, this is what i get when my entire personlaity is a loosely cobbled together collection of self deprecating jokes and a fake ego, desperately attempting to patch over an interior that has holes in it less than it just is one giant fucking hole. i was, am, and will be nothing, not even enough to earn the use of “I” at the beginning of the sentence. dinner is in 15 minutes. my friends will be there. im paralyzed. i belive every word i wrote above so why

would i inflict myself upon them but i 

i cant not

i so deeply want to

to go sit in uncharacteristic silence and hope somebnody notices and asks me whats up so i can give them a dumb, abridged, mostly fake version and get the sad pity looks and then feel bad about exploiting them and then

rinse

repeat

because i am not a person

[optimisticpoetrypost-blog]

What’s a reasonable price I should pay a car mechanic for an alarm certificate for insurance purposes?

"What's a reasonable price I should pay a car mechanic for an alarm certificate for insurance purposes?

UK question My car insurance company requires written evidence from a car garage that my car has a factory fitted alarm. How much should I pay them for this?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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How is insurance on a 2004 GLI?

I am a 17 year old High School Student I am a male and make Good grades, How much would insurance be on a 2004 VW GLI. Most of the cars I've been looking at are way to expensive to insure. Does it being a 4 door sedan lower the price at all.""

I got a ticket which doesn't put points on my license. Could it affect my insurance rates?

I was a passenger in my friend's car when he was ticketed for having an open container of alcohol in the backseat. This occurred in Illinois, and the text of the relevant law is at the bottom. He was ticketed for violating section A; I was ticketed for section B. I confirmed with the very nice lady at the DMV that no points will be placed on my license since I was the passenger, but she was unsure as to what kind of report will be sent to the Secretary of State's office to be added to my driving record. So, here's my question: since I'm not getting any points for this, is it likely to affect my insurance rates? I can see both possibilities - on the non-affect side, it's a non-moving violation, but on the yes-affect side, it involves alcohol (albeit peripherally in my specific situation). If the consensus is that it will make my rates go up, I am going to try to get court supervision. If not, I'll try to save the extra money that would cost. Sec. 11-502. Transportation or possession of alcoholic liquor in a motor vehicle. (a) Except as provided in paragraph (c), no driver may transport, carry, possess or have any alcoholic liquor within the passenger area of any motor vehicle upon a highway in this State except in the original container and with the seal unbroken. (b) Except as provided in paragraph (c), no passenger may carry, possess or have any alcoholic liquor within any passenger area of any motor vehicle upon a highway in this State except in the original container and with the seal unbroken.""

Are red cars more expensive to insure and why?

Are red cars more expensive to insure and why?

Car Insurance Cost in NYC?

I have a question regarding car insurance. I'm 29 years old. I've been in 3 car accidents but was not at fault for any of them (2 of the times my car was sitting still! lol) and I've never gotten a ticket for any of those accidents. I used to have insurance through State Farm, full coverage for a 2004 Jeep Liberty that cost 50-60 a month in upstate NY. While driving to NYC one winter I got a speeding ticket, my first ticket ever! I was going I think 82(?) in a 65. This was just before I moved to NYC, and because I got the ticket in a podunk little county I was driving through I had no idea what the name was, the ticket flew out my door and I lost it. I figured they would mail me something else to tell me the payment was late but I never received anything else about it. Well I found out later it was because I moved, even though I moved about 2 months after the fact they wait quite a while to send another notice, and I never received it. Thus, my license was suspended but I never knew. I never got caught driving without it either. So I moved here in 2007 with my Jeep which I was very behind payments for, and then it got towed away for alternate side parking BS. I could have borrowed the money back then to pay to get it out but I let it go. Alright so long story short, I don't have the truck, it was auctioned. I'll be done paying for it through a collection agency settlement offer this May. If I had kept the truck, I would be paying 200+ more a month than I pay now, and I wouldn't have been done paying it til August 2011. Plus I would have had to pay to catch it up the 3 months I was behind, plus pay my boyfriends brother back who was willing to lend me the money to get it out of the car jail (lol) I had the suspension lifted last July so I could rent a car, again no issues. So I'm thinking of buying a 2,000 car (cash! I learned my lesson) in June when I'm done paying for the truck and I want to get no fault insurance. I know it will be a lot more here then what I used to pay, and in addition I now have a suspension that wasn't there before. How much do you guys have to pay for your insurance, if it's not too much information to ask? And how much do you think mine might be, or compare your cost and history to mine? Thanks.""

Does having a coupe make your insurance go up?

I'm am planning to get a Honda civic and i was wondering if have a coupe would increase my insurance rates ...... and also does having that same car in red make it go up too ??? thanks for all the help :D

Will my parents find out about my car accident through insurance?

i was in an accident and mind you im 17 years old, i have insurance. the thing is i was driving my friends car. someone crashed into me after running a redlight so it was their fault. the police told me i still have to contact my insurance co. to report the accident (even if there was no injury or deaths) im wondering if i report it will this show up on anything in my dads paperwork? since he manages all this stuff. the police told me there wont be any report. so if i report it over the phone what will happen? i have AIG by the way . thank you.""

""If i own a car, can someone else be the named driver on insurance?""

I own a car under finance, but i cannot drive the car anymore. is it possible for another person to insure themselves on the car and be the main user of it?""

What's a reasonable price I should pay a car mechanic for an alarm certificate for insurance purposes?

UK question My car insurance company requires written evidence from a car garage that my car has a factory fitted alarm. How much should I pay them for this?

Insurance claim and deductible questions?

I scratched somebody's car while they were parked, so it was my fault. Damages were minor. Since my car is old and I've dropped coverage on my own car (I have coverage for the other car), I have no plan to fix mine. And the other party offered to settle on our own and not go to the insurance company. So, the questions are: 1. If I claim to my insurance company, how much out-of-pocket do I have to pay? His deductible? Or $0 (since I am not fixing mine)? 2. Would my insurance rate will go up even though I have a clean, no at-fault, claim for at least 10 years? 3. Is this settle on our own legal? And anything to watch out for? 4. What would you do if you were me? Thanks much!""

What is Rating of policyholdersfor auto insurance?

When you are talking about car insurance...what does rating of policyholder mean?

Insurance for a 17 year old?

Hello I'm a 17 year old male that lives in Palm Springs, California that is curious to know how much insurance would cost for these cars. 1.) 1999 Porsche 911 Carrera 2.) 2005 Nissan 350Z 3.) 1999 Jaguar XK8 4.) 2007 Infiniti G35 5.) 2005 BMW 545i If you can help me by giving an estimate would help greatly. Thank you, Asker""

What is the average cost for car insurance for a first time driver and where can I get it?

What is the average cost for car insurance for a first time driver and where can I get it?

I want to get my own car but I can't because of my parent's insurance?

So my parents have an insurance plan where they are covered with both of their cars and my sisters car is listed as an extra car to save money. I'm about to turn 17 and I've had my drivers license since October. I've been driving around my mom's car but I want to get my own. I've even offered to keep my moms car and give her my own money for her to get a new car if she wanted. I've been saving money for my own car since I was ten. So basically my parents can't add another car on their insurance because my insurance company would find out about me driving it. I'm pissed because I have all the money for my own used car and I'm a safe and responsible driver, but I'm forced to use my mom's car. I'm not that type of kid who wants a new flashy car to go with the crowd, I just want something of my own so I have no time restrictions. I can't go anywhere without my mom calling me asking for her car. I know I can't afford my own insurance, so what can I do insurance wise to get my own car?""

Any reccomendations for a good dental insurance??

i have health insurance through my job, but they do not offer dental.""

Should I buy car insurance or not?

I am a teenage driver of 16. Insurance is very high for a teenager. My parents have Allstate Car Insurance for four of their cars including a Toyota Corolla which im going to be driving. The Corolla is covered by AllState insurance. I have a California Driver's License and live in California. About 6 months ago, my mom asked the insurance company whether the insurance would cover the car if she lent the car to someone and the insurance company said that they would cover the car as soon as the person who borrowed the car has a VALID DRIVERS LICENSE. I have a valid drivers license but I am under 18 (I am 16). The insurance person did not say anything about age. My question is whether it is necessary or not to buy insurance for myself. It will be very expensive and I do not want to pay for it but I will If i have to. Do I have to get my own insurance for the car or not? If I dont buy insurance and I drive the corolla and get pulled over, am I okay or will I have problems?""

If there is no damage to either cars then how much would insurance rates go up for the person who caused it?

i was in a accident today and this hood girl came out of nowhere but the only damage that occured was the front tag of my car came off and her car has no damage. How much will my insurance rates go up.

""If you install an aftermarket radio incorrectly, and your car catches fire will insurance cover it?""

If you install an aftermarket radio incorrectly, and your car catches fire will insurance cover it?""

Car insurance switching cars after 2months?

Bought a car from auction and got it insured ( my first car) but not liking it so looking to re-sell at auction. Just wondering how the insurance will work if i wan tto change it to a new car after such a short time??? willl it cost me alot to change ] thanks

Can I buy term life insurance for my aunt who lives in CA?

I live in Florida and was just wondering if I can purchase a term life insurance policy for my aunt in California? Will the term life insurance policy be in my name or her name, because I will be paying for the policy?""

How can I get cheaper car insurance?

Im 17 and just got my full uk driving licence and got a car it's a Subaru 2.0r sport but insurance is 7-8k for my own policy but 3500 if I am a second driver but is that Ilegal

Can I trust American Health Insurance?

I'm going to an American university and I have to buy student health cover. How trustworthy is it actually? If I get sick, will the insurance just say that my injury/illness isn't covered and left me to die - even if it's an insurance company that the university requires students to buy insurance from??""

Car insurance for a 1993 Toyota Celica? ?

How much would car insurance be for a 1993 Toyota Celica? I will be 21 in August, have a clean driving record, no accidents, married with a child. I am a full time college student with a 3.2 GPA. How much should I expect for car insurance per month? The car has 160,000 miles on it. Please, no advertising websites, just real answers. Thanks!""

Car insurance coverage?

If i have a provisional license in California (been driving for under a year) and I get in a accident with someone in my car under the age of 20 years old, will my car insurance still cover it? I know I am not supposed to be driving anyone yet but I am trying to prove a point to my dad! Please help! thanks:)""

Why do insurance companies charge first and last?

I had a nice Allstate agent call me and discuss my insurance with me, give me a lower rate and then come pay time, tell me that they require first and last. When I asked her why the last, she could not provide a good answer. I know not all insurance companies do this, but what is the point? When asked when I would get the last back, she said when I cancel my policy some day!! What if I don't want to cancel..ever? This does not make sense to me at all. Why keep my money there for nothing? When one does cancel the policy, do they get the money back with interest on that? Once confronted with these questions, the agent was not so nice any more. Can someone please answer the above?""

Insurance Quotes vs Age Gender Income Etc?

Hi, Currently Insured through State Farm and paying $250.00 a month for Full Coverage. Im 20yrs old. I have a 2006 Chevy Silverado 2500 hd 4wd , making 40k-50k a year. Insurance is a little too much... Am i over paying?""

How can I lower my car insurance?

I have a 2010 Chevy cobalt LT. I pay $420 a month for insurance! I understand I'm 21, and it's a sports car. But I've been driving for 5 years, I've never got in a crash nor gotten any tickets. Why could this be? I know lots of younger people with much more expensive cars but they don't pay nearly as much.""

What's some places to check for cheap auto insurance?

I realise that this is not a P&S question, but Cars & Transportation > Insurance & Registration is a deadbeat section. I probably should ask this in R&S since most of you are 12.""

Math question about cars and insurance?

I make 10 dollars an hour, full time job, 80+ hour checks with about 100 dollars in commission monthly. (1700 a month before taxes). I have to pay my rent, 325, my electric, 200 a month, and my phone bill- 40 dollars a month. My internet is 15 a month. How much do you think I could pay for a car, and insurance for a car without going broke? As in, what kind of price brackets should I stay in? I've been driving a car that's paid off since I was 16, now that car is falling apart. I need help, I've never done this before! :) Thanks!""

Cost of 2005 bmw 745li insurance?

im 16 ill be gettin mine when im 17 whats the average insurance cost for a 2005 bmw 745li

How much is car insurance for a 16 year old living in southern Cali?

Lets say he has good grades. Lets also say the parents of this child have great credit scores. I cant get online qoutes because he is not over 18. Any estimates? Anthing would help. Thank you.

Getting Car Insurance?

I'm getting married and because I'm moving to another state I'm having to switch from one insurance for my car to another. My question is this, how much up front money will it cost to get insurance for me and my wife? For example, will they need a deposit, or expect a certain number of months up front? Also if anyone could refer me to a good insurance company, I live in Alabama near Birmingham I 'm considering either state farm or alfa. Thanks!""

Cheap health insurance?

How can i get very cheap health insurance? i am 18 yrs old, i go to school and i work at a place that doesnt have insurance and i really need to go to get my teeth pulled and i need to go to the doc for my stomach... how can i get free or very cheap health insurance?? cause i have no money!!""

Do I buy car insurance before buying a car from a private party?

I'm buying a car this weekend from a private seller (we are just waiting for the duplicate title to come in the mail; she lost the original). Money won't be exchanged until ...show more

What's a reasonable price I should pay a car mechanic for an alarm certificate for insurance purposes?

UK question My car insurance company requires written evidence from a car garage that my car has a factory fitted alarm. How much should I pay them for this?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/question-anyone-knows-insurance-marshall-winkle"