#using private tabs rn..

[reikane-enthusiast]

gonna make an au carrd for the sillies..

[readingwriter92]

My phone tabs situation is getting untenable again so I’m scrolling back thru fics I got open to see if there’s any I wanna finish

First thing I decide to open? Bsd your lie in April au. I left unread with three chapters left. And it’s so well fucking written but. Ooooof

[wisteria-bae]

THE FATU CHRONICLES - 1

Paring: Naomi x OC! (Deja) x Jimmy

Divider by @cafekitsune.

Summary: Porn, no plot. Used as practice for 3somes (2am ovulating hits hard).

A/N: I am so terrified rn, but as promised, here you go @charmed-dreamssss ! Now, there are two more scenes that I couldn't fit, so I may make a part 2 and 3, depends on my anxiety lmao. Speaking of, I'm gonna go log off for the rest of the week now, bye 🏃🏾‍♀️💨

SMUTTY ASF, MDNI

DEJA was flat on her back, writhing against soft white sheets, her thighs twitching with every flick of his wrist. Her brown eyes fluttered shut, then flew open again, only to fall closed once more - lost in the waves of pleasure crashing through her.

This was all her fault.

Had she remembered to switch back over from her private tab, they wouldn't have seen all the saved videos on there. They would've just looked up a restaurant on Google like planned, and been on their way. Hell, Deja could have even been knocked out by now, deep in La La Land.

But no, she fucked up and now she had to pay for it.

A wet slap echoed in the room, jolting her back from her spiraling thoughts. Her hips jerked upwards as a sudden sting prickled between her legs. Looking down, she locks eyes with Jimmy who stared up at her like a man starved - wild, dark-eyed, pupils blown wide with lust. He didn't break eye contact as he slowly pushed his two thick fingers back into her now slightly red and stinging pussy.

Deja arched from the mixture of pain and pleasure that was overwhelming her senses, gasping with a sharp breath, "Oh my God, yes!"

He was making music with her pussy; he flexed and scissored them slowly before curling deep with precision. The slick, obscene sounds filled the air, getting louder the more he skillfully moved his hand.

"I'm touching my pussy?" He asked, voice a deep rumble in his chest that made her wall clamp around him like a vice. “Hm? I’m all up in my pussy, ain’t I?”

“Yes, baby,” Deja moaned, slurring the words, “Ooo you all up in there, so fuckin’ deep.”

Jimmy gave a low hum of approval before glancing down at the floor, “Not as deep as my dick in her throat.”

Below him was Naomi, on all fours, leaned in close, lips sealed tight around his cock. She moaned in response to the praise, sucking harder, hollowing her cheeks. He rewarded her with a few quick, brutal thrusts, making her choke just enough to earn a gleam in his eyes.

He reached down with his free hand, grabbed Naomi by her hair, and pulled her mouth off his dick with a clean, filthy pop.

Taking the opportunity, Jimmy spit straight into her mouth. Naomi swallowed it eagerly, her tongue immediately sliding along his length again - slick with spit, warm, hungry. She didn’t miss a beat, swirling her tongue around the head before taking him deep again, all the way to the base.

Jimmy exhaled hard, his eyes fluttering shut. “Ohh, yeah. She’s takin’ it real deep. I’m talkin’ all the way, baby.”

He glanced over at Deja, who was already staring up at him, lips parted, chest rising quick, hanging onto his every word.

“You can take it all the way too, can’t you, Pretty Girl?”

Deja nodded with her bottom lip poked out, eyes full of heat and need. That look alone made his cock twitch hard; Naomi gagged again around him, but Jimmy was already shifting focus, leaning forward, spreading Deja’s thighs wider with one hand.

“Yeahhh,” he growled, “Let’s take it all the way.”

He shoved his fingers back into her with a speed that made her jerk, the sudden stretch dragging a loud cry from her throat. Deja’s pussy squelches and gushed at the action - slick, swollen, and so damn responsive. Puffy pink lips fluttered around his knuckles, struggling to keep him out, but already giving in. Juices were slowly trickling out and onto the bed, making a small wet spot.

Jimmy wanted to make that spot bigger. He wanted to make her squirt right then and there - he could have done so easily. But, then the memories of what Naomi found on Deja’s phone came flooding back and he had to close his eyes to pace himself. He could make her squirt in the morning, tonight they were fulfilling her desires one fuck at a time.

Jimmy’s fingers plunged in and out of her relentlessly, dragging over every sensitive ridge inside her. Deja’s moans came in broken, breathy bursts, her hips twitching with each stroke. Her curls stuck to her damp forehead, chest rising and falling like she’d just run a mile.

“Look at you,” he murmured, eyes locked on her soaked center. “So fuckin’ messy for me.”

Deja bit her bottom lip but couldn’t hold back the whimper that escaped when he twisted his fingers inside her, pressing up into that soft, spongy spot that made her toes curl. Her thighs tensed around his hand, and she reached down, blindly gripping at the sheets as if to ground herself.

“Jimmy,” she gasped, “I can’t- baby, I can’t-”

“Yes, you can,” he cut in, his voice firm but low, coaxing her toward that edge. “You gon’ come for me right here. All over my fingers. I feel it, shit, she’s fuckin’ creaming.”

Deja’s back arched again, her body betraying her best efforts to ignore pleasure just for a little longer. Her pussy clenched down hard, a desperate rhythm, fluttering around his fingers like it was trying to pull him in deeper.

He leaned over her, pressing soft and wet kisses all over her stomach and pussy mound. “Don’t hold back, baby,” he mumbled into her skin, “Let go. Daddy's got you.”

Deja’s breath hitched as she tried to hold on until she just couldn't.

Her whole body jolted: legs trembling, stomach tightening, and a high, desperate moan pouring from her throat as she came. Her pussy squeezed his fingers in pulsing waves, wetter than ever now, creamy slick dripping down the crease of her ass. Jimmy never slowed, working her through every second, pushing her through the aftershocks with more hot kisses until she was squirming and crying out again from oversensitivity.

He pulled his fingers slowly and gently, staring down at her wrecked body with pride.

“Look at you,” he said again, softer now. “My pretty girl.”

Deja lay limp, lips parted, breath shuddering. Her eyes fluttered open slowly, glossy and dazed, still caught in the afterglow. Jimmy looked back down at Naomi, his fingers still glistening with Deja’s slick. He offered them to her without a word.

Naomi’s eyes lit up. She opened her mouth and took them in, slow and deliberate, never breaking eye contact with him. Her tongue curled around each digit like she was savoring a treat meant just for her. When she pulled off with a soft pop, she hummed low in her throat.

“There you go, mamas,” he praised, dragging his wet fingers down her chin before turning his attention back to Deja.

She was still laid out, breathless and glowing, her thighs slightly parted like her body hadn’t figured out how to close again. Jimmy leaned over and kissed the inside of her knee, trailing soft kisses up the length of her calf, slow and reverent now.

“Came so hard for me, Pretty Girl,” he murmured, lips brushing over her skin. “But we not done with you yet.”

Naomi got off the floor and crawled up beside Deja, her naked body warm and close. One of Naomi’s hands slid gently up Deja’s neck, while the other was gripping her hair firmly, lifting her into a slow, open-mouthed kiss. Deja melted into it, tasting herself on Naomi’s lips, moaning softly into her mouth. Jimmy sat back for a second, watching them with a dark hunger in his eyes, stroking himself slowly.

Naomi’s lips migrated across Deja’s cheek and down her neck to her sternum, where she paused, feeling the frantic pulse beneath her skin. That made her smile - Deja was still riding the edge, breathless and dazed, already on the verge of unraveling again.

Naomi turned her head, dragged her tongue over the swell of Deja’s breast, then wrapped her lips around one nipple and sucked hard.

Deja cried out softly, arching into her mouth, the sudden heat making her hips roll instinctively. Naomi didn’t let up, she flicked her tongue in tight, teasing circles before switching to the other breast, kissing and sucking, leaving glistening trails behind. Her hand never left Deja’s hair, holding her steady, grounding her in the moment.

“Mmm,” Naomi hummed against her skin, her voice low and hungry. “You're still so sensitive…”

“Too sensitive,” Deja whispered, squirming, but there was no real protest in her voice. Her eyes fluttered open, finding Jimmy’s dark gaze still locked on her.

He was still on his knees on the floor, hand wrapped tight around his cock, stroking slow and steady. The muscles in his thighs were flexing, the veins in his forearm standing out as he watched her fall apart again under Naomi’s mouth. He couldn't help but mumble out soft moans as Naomi straddles Deja, breast still in mouth, and arches her back to where her glistening pussy presented itself to Jimmy.

Naomi didn't even have to ask. He immediately stood up - one foot on the floor, one knee bent on the bed - and spread Naomi's soft checks apart. He wasted no time in dragging his thick and hot tongue all over her pussy, swirling around eagerly trying to collect as much juices and slick as he could. And when he gathered all of that, he pushed his tongue deep inside Naomi, searching for more. Taken by surprise, Jimmy's actions caused Naomi to buckle forwards, removing the hand wrapped in Deja's hair to brace herself against the headboard. Moaning into her skin, Naomi sucks, licks, and nips at Deja's chest, making the two mounds glistening with a sinful mixture of spit and her own cum.

Deja could barely keep still now - Naomi's weight atop her, the heat of her mouth, and now the deep, rhythmic moans Jimmy let out between her thighs - it was all too much. Her breath hitched again, thighs trembling as Naomi’s teeth grazed her nipple just right.

"Fuck," Deja whimpered, arching into the contact, her back bowing prettily.

Naomi smiled against her skin, lips wet and slightly swollen. “That’s it, Pretty Girl. Stay right there for me.”

Behind her, Jimmy was devouring Naomi with the passion of a starved man. His fingers dug into her ass as he licked and fucked her with his mouth, tongue working in deep, filthy circles. When Naomi moaned loud against Deja’s chest, it vibrated through her ribcage, and Deja swore she could feel it all the way down to her pussy.

Naomi's hips rocked back into Jimmy’s face involuntarily, chasing his tongue, and he responded with a low, pleased grunt that only spurred her on more. She spread her legs wider, bracing herself fully, and looked down at Deja with flushed cheeks and hooded eyes.

"You wanna know what he's doing?" Naomi whispered breathlessly against Deja’s throat. “He’s eating my pussy while I suck on these big ass titties." She slapped Deja's left breast, causing it to jiggle and bounce slightly. "Mhm, we got him real fuckin' hungry tonight.”

Deja nodded, dizzy and dazed, lips parted as her hands gripped the sheets tight. Her body felt like it was floating - no thought, just heat and want and sensation.

Naomi tried to return to her assault on Deja’s breasts, but Jimmy was eating her pussy like he was trying to swallow her soul - his whole mouth engulfed her, full and lush beard rubbing hard against her clit and inner thighs. Naomi couldn’t help herself; she started grinding on his face, head thrown back in pleasure, moaning wildly as her breasts bounced right in front of Deja’s face.

"Unh, unh, unh, Jim-my! Fuck Daddy, that's right, eat my pussy. Eat my fucking pussy!"

While Naomi praised him, Deja had her own mission. She was playing fishhook with Naomi’s breasts, tongue out and mouth wide as she stretched her neck to catch one of her nipples. She missed once, twice, then finally locked her lips around the lucky one, sucking hard, flicking her tongue around like it was the only thing keeping her alive.

Naomi almost collapsed from the double-team. She whimpered, body shaking, hips pushing into Jimmy’s mouth while her hands flew to Deja’s head, cradling it close.

Loud moans and sloppy, wet smacks - like straight-up water - echoed from where Jimmy worked, his tongue thrusting deep while his palms gripped her ass, encouraging her to ride his face. He met every bounce with a matching thrust of his tongue, then smacked her cheeks twice, the sound sharp and filthy. “Ooo, y’all,” Naomi cried out, voice cracking, “Y’all got me leaking! Unh - holy shit, this feels so good. I’m gonna cum in a minute, oh my God!”

Fuck a minute, Deja and Jimmy thought at the same time.

Without a word, they both intensified their rhythm: Jimmy’s tongue pressing deeper, and Deja’s mouth sucking harder. Naomi didn’t stand a chance. She fell apart in less than twenty seconds, her body jerked as the first wave hit her - back arched, mouth parted in a silent scream before it cracked into a loud, guttural cry.

“FUCK, I’m-!” Her sentence broke off into a helpless sob as her thighs trembled and ass shook against Jimmy's face. She tensed up hard, the orgasm ripping through her like a shockwave, her pussy clenching against Jimmy’s tongue, slick gushing with no mercy.

Deja held her through it, arms locked tight around her waist, mouth never leaving her nipple. She sucked like she was trying to drink Naomi dry, her tongue flicking relentlessly, determined to ride that high with her. Naomi collapsed forward again, this time allowing herself to fall on top of Deja, burying her face into her neck with trembling kisses and broken gasps, mumbling incoherent praise against her damp skin.

Jimmy finally pulled back with a wet gasp of his own, face absolutely soaked, beard glistening with Naomi’s release. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, smirking, chest heaving.

“Yeah,” he chuckled darkly, admiring the view of Naomi shuddering on top of Deja. “Now that's how I like to eat.”

Naomi didn’t even have the strength to sass him. Her body was boneless, draped across Deja like a satisfied, sweaty blanket.

Deja giggled breathlessly, still licking her lips. “She said a minute,” she murmured, taunting, voice low and teasing. “Didn’t even last half of one.”

“I was set up,” Naomi panted, muffled against her neck. “Y’all some cheatin’ ass freaks.”

Jimmy leaned over and kissed Naomi’s spine, then licked a slow stripe up between her shoulder blades just to make her shiver.

“You love it though,” Jimmy murmured, voice low and rough. Then his gaze snapped over to Deja, eyes burning with that same hunger from before.

“My pussy need a longer break or what?”

He wasn’t really asking, he already knew the answer. Without waiting for confirmation, he gently shifted Naomi to the side, letting her catch her breath. Then he climbed fully onto the bed, settling between Deja’s thighs like he belonged there.

Her body was already trembling, cunt still glistening, lips parted, breath catching as her eyes locked on him. She looked starved for him - just as desperate as he was.

Deja reached for him, fingertips grazing his jaw. “Mm-mm. She ready, Big Daddy. She want it all. Don’t hold back.”

Jimmy growled low in his throat and grabbed her thighs, pushing them up until her knees kissed her chest, folding her open. “Is that what she said?” he asked, voice husk with lust. He dragged his middle finger through her folds, slow and deliberate, groaning at the creamy sound. “Mmm, she talking. Pretty ass pussy. I’m ‘bout to eat it.”

“Yeah,” Deja moaned, arching her hips, “Eat her, baby.”

Jimmy leaned in and gave her a long, filthy stripe up her pussy, then pulled back with a smirk and a click of his teeth. “Sweet ass pussy. Don’t make no fucking sense.”

He dove back in, this time swirling his tongue around her clit, teasing it with lazy, wet circles. Deja twitched, gasping, hips trying to chase his mouth.

“Mhm,” he hummed against her, licking again, deeper, messier. “Imma get my fill tonight. Y’all gon’ feed me today.”

Next

A/N: So that was the first part… as you can see this stuff is LONG 🤣 I’ll start editing the second part tmr, hope y��all enjoyed it! Any feedback is much appreciated!

Taglist:

@uceyliyahh @charmed-dreamssss @darkandlight00 @moxley99

[leapdayowo]

Redstone and Skulk OC time :3

Thought I’d turn my persona into a rns oc and give them a helsmet :3 I basically looked at my play style in Minecraft and took a few things from my own life and combined them to create these two! Short version about them below and a little story of their origins under that:

short version:

-Leapday_art (short version Leapday, she/he/they, the player) is afraid of losing important things in their life. He is very cautious about doing anything that could result in him dying and loosing everything in his inventory (sleeps through the night everytime to avoid monsters, barely visits the nether, strip mines, etc) +the cats next to Leapday are two of my darling kitties who unfortunately passed away irl, their names are Toby (left) and Toes (right)

-Nightfall_collections (short version Nightfall, all pronouns, the helsmet) was created from Leapday’s extreme fear of losing valuables and her grief from having lost valuables too many times. Xyr driving goal is to collect and preserve everything that xe can and to make sure there is always at least one copy

-other things about Nightfall: she is a magma cube hybrid while Leapday is a ??? hybrid player (if you read the story below this may make more sense👀). Nightfall can split into smaller duplicates which allows them to be in more places at once and thus more productive in their goal. She uses her goop-like body to write reminders on her clothes, then re-absorbs the goop later

-I think Nightfall would find himself as an organizer between lots of different parties/people in Hels due to being so dedicated to his goal + only being dedicated to this goal (his alignment is probably chaotic good because he’s loyal to his own goals and not to other people or outside rules. He does not take bribes or backstab). Also, Nightfall does not need to have possession of everything, but xe is trying to keep tabs on where everything that exist is at(this makes xem the go-to person for trying to obtain something in particular)

-I think Nightfall would become a sponsor (if that’s the right word?) for the Order of Remembrance because she greatly admires the work they do to preserve Hels’ history. She would also love Zedaph’s hall of all and definitely tries to work with private collectors to protect (and document/track) what they have (and she will keep what she knows a secret if it means protecting valuable things)

-Nightfall does not care about thieves unless they steal one of a kind things

-the doodles below were my earlier concepts, so Nightfall has green eyes before I realized it’s much more fitting for xem to have orange eyes

okay, okay, story time (because I realized the ‘short’ version was getting very extensive):

Maybe it had started in the very first world she spawned in. A brilliant blue sky that stretched over jagged, looming cliffs with forests scattered underneath. Trickling waterfalls and bubbling lava pits here and there. The natural beauty of the world left Leapday in awe and eager to explore what other wonders lay beyond the horizon.

It must have started with the first tree she broke, a squat little oak, one of hundreds in the forest. When the leaves of that little oak had all fallen, saplings littered the grassy floor. She should’ve been excited, feel triumphant even by taking down the tree, after all it’s how the journey had to start. Except, all that Leapday could see was the awkward gap in the canopy from the absence of the little oak. It felt like an itch unscratched, nagging and uncomfortable. Well that wouldn’t do.

They scooped up all the saplings littering the floor and planted one in the same dirt plot the little oak was uprooted from. Then they planted a few more just for good measure. The unease lingered, but planting the saplings felt good. It felt right. Now their adventure could truly begin!

——

In this world, Leapday’s only companions were the pigs and sheep that he passed on his journey, though he would argue, if there were someone to argue with, that the world itself brought him company enough. That the days and nights passing was a conversation between the universe and Leapday, and thus a consistent companion. And what gifts did the universe provide for him to find! Rushing rivers that fed into powerful oceans, plenty of trees to sleep in and collect, and mountains to climb with the best views of the sunset. Never a dull moment for him as there was always something new to experience and see.

However, despite all its gifts, the universe was slow to explain the finer mechanics of the world, such as health to Leapday. A week of traversing through thick forests and steep cliffs left them battered and bruised. They learned how to gauge the distance of a drop and how to place blocks to minimize the pain in their ankles from falls. A similar pain gnawed from the inside of their stomach, which they discovered was briefly satiated by devouring the apples that fell from the trees.

During one climb up a particularly harrowing cliff, Leapday learned about the unforgiving weight of sand by placing it under her feet in order to reach the next ledge. The block had crumbled in a near instant, sending her plummeting towards the ground. Instead of hitting the hard rocks below, she splashed into a stream from a nearby waterfall. When she had dragged herself onto land and her heart had steadied to a more familiar pace, she let out a fit of bewildered laughter that overwhelmed the panic from moments ago. She knew falls much shorter than this one could take days to recover from, so what kind of pain would she be in if she hadn’t gotten lucky and fallen in the stream? Something cold ran through her and sank to the pit of her stomach. Dread of what could have been, what could still be if she wasn’t more careful. She resolved to never find out what would happen. How unfortunate that her next fall would be into a pit of lava, the very one she had been camping at throughout the nights.

He was being careful, more so than he had been for the first week in this world anyways. That didn’t seem to matter because he had still slipped when placing the block before him and fallen. It was his first respawn, and it introduced him to a few new things like a punch to the face. The first revelation was the agony of burning to death, and death itself. He curled into himself, crying at the phantom feeling of the lava eating at his flesh. The intense heat and how the lava had trapped him in place and burned. It was a twisted version of the warmth of the sun, which was shining down on him and in comparison felt as cool as the air in caves. The second realization came slowly as the memory of fire ebbed. Their knuckles no longer popped and their joints no longer ached. The tightness in their muscles had vanished, leaving softer tissue on the bone and the emptiness in their stomach no longer hurt. They felt new and full of energy, ready to begin their journey again. How strange they had forgotten what this felt like. White scars from their oldest injuries and freckles from sun touched skin still littered their body. They had died, but now were in perfect health again. Leapday took in her surroundings, her face lighting up with delight at the sight of a familiar oak tree. It had grown into quite the study tree since the start of her adventure. Soon after her reunion, Leapday discovered her now empty inventory when she reached for blocks to place in order to climb the canopy. The absence of stacks of logs, dirt, and sand had her racing towards the lava pit before her mind could catch up. Panic pushed her feet to run faster and dodge every obstacle. She ignored nicks from branches in her way and the sting of sharp rocks on her bare feet. The timer was ticking down. Her items would be gone- she just had to- if she wasn’t fast enough-

She burst through the tree line and was greeted by the familiar heavy heat of the lava pit. The sight of it made her recoil out of fear of falling back in even from many blocks away. On shaky legs, she circled the perimeter and searched for her items. The timer was still ticking, but they were nowhere to be seen! She crept as close as she dared to the lava and swept her eyes across the surface of the pool. Then she darted into the surrounding trees looking high and low.

Nothing.

No logs. No saplings or dirt or anything!

This was their third lesson. You lose items after death, and lava destroys those items.

Don’t die, especially not in lava, and don’t lose your items.

Now they had to start over, and this time not dying proved to be harder than expected. More falls and similar accidents happened. Zombies began appearing, persistent in their pursuit of Leapday’s flesh. Then skeletons, creepers, and spiders appeared and introduced many more ways one could die. The pain from the deaths hurt, but they became mundane as weeks turned to months. Loosing items became more painful and frightening when Leapday discovered crafting. More time and resources were needed to start over after dying with crafted items, so they took to the world underground. They followed their instinct to craft pickaxes and torches, to chip away at the stone in search of more sturdy materials. They crafted their first stone pickaxe and found it to be superior to the wooden one.

Maybe it truly started with that wooden pickaxe. When she crafted the stone tools, the wooden pickaxe sat in her hotbar, still good for half a day’s work but now obsolete. It had served her well to progress her journey, a necessary step, but it felt wrong to simply set it aside. It felt like the gap in the canopy all over again, but she very well couldn’t plant the pickaxe in the ground and solve her unease. Not sure what else to do, she attached it to her hip and went on with her day. She wouldn’t destroy it or toss it, she would simply carry it with her until she found what she needed to do with it next. It became her new companion (it was her first crafted tool. It was the first and therefore the only one that would ever exist).

Now equipped with wood and stone blocks, Leapday built their base over their mine. The wooden pickaxe found its place over the doorway leading outside, marking the build as their home. It felt right, so they continued their expansions. Farms were planted along a nearby river and fences placed to corral cows and sheep. Torches were the one item they were generous with. They were thrown across their property liberally since their light would deter creepers spawning too close for comfort.

During a thunderstorm that had picked up abruptly one morning, Leapday poked around at their communicator. It was a lightweight device that had been attached to their forearm since first spawning into the world and never disappeared after dying. After lots of fiddling with the different menus and buttons on the screen, they came across YouCraft. It was an archive of videos made by other players scattered across the universe, documenting their own worlds and progress! With the storm still crashing down around Leapday’s base, they curled up in bed and began watching the first video that caught their eye. It turned out that he had lots more to learn about the universe! After waiting out the storm, and then the night, by watching these videos, he learned about other biomes and blocks still left to discover as well as potions, enchanting, and other dimensions! A dragon was where this journey led for most players, though some took their time getting to it. Above all, he realized he needed diamonds. Diamonds were what every player sought due to their strength, but they were rare and dangerous to collect being so deep underground. They were needed to further Leapday’s journey however, so collecting them became his top goal. Quickly he learned how impossible achieving this goal would be. Well, it seemed impossible after spending days underground chipping at the cold stone and coming up empty. Strange echoes rang through the tunnels and more than a few times paranoia of something (or someone. He had heard the legends of Herobrine) sneaking up on him was enough to make him hole up for hours. Grey, grey stone that went on for miles. Grey cobblestone trailed behind him when his inventory filled. Leapday found other minerals, but the sparkling teal of diamonds still lay buried elsewhere. He mined for so long he began to doubt that the rare mineral even generated in this world. That only grey existed. That was until he broke away the next layer of stone before him and found himself staring uncomprehending at the bits of teal poking through stone. Uncontainable joy broke through his shock like sunlight through parting storm clouds. They were real! Diamonds were real and right in front of him! Invigorated with new energy, Leapday got to work extracting the diamonds just as they had seen others do. The amount paled in comparison to the stacks other players had, but in that moment he didn’t care. It was enough to have found them and confirm they even existed in this world. That weeks of sore arms digging at indifferent stone and unsteady gravel caches falling finally amounted to their new prized possession.

By the time he arrived back at his base, the novelty of finding diamonds began to wear off. He had to admit it was a measly amount. Just barely enough for a diamond pickaxe. What good would a stronger pickaxe be with no enchantments or replacements for when it broke? It had taken so long to find just a few diamonds what were the chances of finding more? No, they wouldn’t craft anything with the rare mineral until they had enough for spares and back ups. So back to the mines they went, and excruciatingly slow they found more, and continued to reason that crafting them was a poor decision. What if an accident happened and they couldn’t get back to their stuff? If they were swallowed by a pit of lava? So much time would be spent only to be wasted. Almost like their thoughts and fears had manifested it, a freak lava incident happened not long after. Leapday had been feeling good that day, so good because their most recent mining trip had yielded 13 diamonds and another cluster just across a lava lake. As they bridged across the lake, plans of finally crafting their collection of diamonds began to form making them giddy. It was the type of giddy that made any obstacle feel like child’s play and beyond consequence. That they finally could start progressing on their journey once more. It was enough to distract Leapday from the crunch of gravel under their feet and for their pickaxe to swing off its mark into the unsteady floor. The ground gave way and sent her tumbling into the lava.

She woke up screaming in her bed. Screaming from agony of ghostly flames that ate flesh, and then from loss and frustration. It wasn’t fair! Her luck had just turned up for the best and now all of it was gone! Every plan to use the diamonds tossed out the window and into a burning pit of despair. How stupid of her to not notice the gravel! All that time for nothing! She should have called it a day and come up 13 diamonds richer with plenty of levels for enchanting. All her gear and tools and items from mineshafts would still be intact, but no. Her head was too far in the clouds and now it was gone. She hadn’t even had the foresight to mark the cave to return to, so sure of her victory. There would be no hope navigating the twisting and sprawling tunnels below, and even if she tried to go back, the sight of lava would probably be enough to make her hurl. Fat tears began dripping down her face as she cursed and wallowed. They blurred his vision, so with a few steadying breaths and a final gross sniffle, he wiped at his eyes. Then he went to swing his legs over the bed to pick up the pieces of his day and froze. On his hand, both hands actually, were thick black smudges of… of something. What was that? He reached up to his face and traced the wet tear tracks with a clean finger. It too came away covered in the strange goop. An incredulous laugh burst from him, which evolved into hysterical crying. More tears fell from his eyes and he let them. The tangled web of grief in his chest unraveling as he did so, and he felt the last of his energy drain away until-

Sunlight trickled through the curtains and roused Leapday from their sleep. Birds were chirping and the familiar sounds of the animals grazing and leaves rustling cradled their mind while the events of the previous day trickled back to them. They felt heavy and gross. Their eyes crusty and mouth dry as a desert were a sure sign of their emotional distress. Disappointment felt like stones being dropped on them when they pulled up their empty inventory. It really was all gone. They let their head flop back onto their pillow and took a steadying breath, trying to recount the reasons they should get out of bed. Maybe they would stick to the joys of the world above ground for a month or two. Take up weaving or painting. They had plenty of resources to finally build a barn and an expansion to the house. Maybe they would go with a grassy roof.

Yeah. That could be alright. With one final sigh, Leapday pushed themself up off their bed and dragged themself over to their cauldron to clean up. They could see from their reflection that only a few faint smudges remained on their face, which they gently wiped away. Crying black goop was probably not normal now that their mind was more stable to think it over. Or maybe it was normal? It had never happened before, but the players on YouCraft all had their own quirks that Lepaday lacked, so maybe it was normal for them?

It turned out the inky tears were a new normal. From that incident onward, whenever they experienced a great sense of loss the strange tears formed and sank into the ground. They appeared when Leapday lost their first wolf companion and when they accidentally deleted a creative world full of builds of an ambitious project.

Meanwhile…

in another world…

In Hels, black goop bubbled to the surface of a sea of lava. From a distance, the surface seemed its usual hungry self, shifting and popping as it patiently waited for Hels and its inhabitants to finally crumble in. The goop was not consumed by its hunger however. It stretched towards the netherrack shore like a snake in water. Once it had gathered all of itself onto more solid ground, it sat and waited for more of itself to arrive, bouncing and bubbling over the terrain in the meantime. They could only wait so long however, after all, there was much to collect and preserve and too little time to do so.

And it’s finished! Whew, I don’t typically write, so this was a lot to work on amidst all my finals projects (totally worth it tho! It was great practice). I wasn’t planning on writing so much about leapday, but then I realized the interesting potential of writing about players when they’re new to the world. If they are akin to gods, they still enter the world with a lot to learn. The goop at the end is Nightfall, who then went on to travel Hels and collect as many blocks and items as xe could before xe came across the city Evil X established. At first they were incredibly overwhelmed by the amount of stuff to preserve in the city and mostly stuck to collecting free scraps and garbage. It probably did something to gain the attention of a member of the Order of Remembrance, who taught Nightfall about their goals and a few things about how society/Hels worked. From there, Nightfall set off to establish a massive collection and documentation of anything and everything, working with people in the process but also quite an eccentric personality that can be quite a hermit when buried in paperwork (not many people are willing to do paperwork as diligently as Nightfall)

Also, YouCraft is YouTube in the Minecraft world :P I felt I needed to separate it from our version of mcyt because in this universe the characters are real and making videos about their lives rather than people playing a video game (at least that’s how I’m headcanoning it)

thank you @silverskye13 for providing some more lore about Hels and the Order of Remembrance (as well as Redstone and Skulk as a whole <3) as well as inspiring me to keep trying to improve my writing and thank you to @/yayforocs for inspiring me to finally make my own rns OCs and this post :3

[bernardsbendystraws]

OMG I BEAT THE SYSTEM GO ON A PRIVATE TAB ON SAFARI/CHROME AND GO ON THE WEBSITE VERSION OF TIKTOK IM USING IT RN

YOURE SO FUCKING SMART ILY EVERYONE SPREAD THE WORD SO WE CAN WATCH STURNIOLO EDITS!!!

[speakyskelly-1999]

Okay so the one peice live action is insane to me

I've never watched the anime nor really intended to as it's super long, for one, and for two, not the biggest fan of the art style, I know I'll get hate for that (it's in of the shows like JoJo that's I'll come to like the art style the more I watch it and get into the characters but it's too long to do so rn)

And so the trailer if the live action comes out and it looks funny as fun so I try it with two of my friends (the one who's seen like 80 episodes of one peice and the other one who eventually wants to try it)

Friend who likes one peice hates the fact that it's not accurate enough (which like tbf fair but like when as an accurate live action been good)

Friend who wants to try it is more accepting of it not being a shot for shot remake stating that how while the cowboy Bebop adaptation was good, she respected it for dong it's own story (which I also do)

(I also respect it for star trek reasons)

Now I on the other hand... I kind of love the live action. Let's be real it's not great. I have only seen one episode but erm you know. Some of the CGI could be better. I feel like the acting prowess varies from scene to scene. (I'm not shitting on them it's just a bit rough around the edges) (context I use to do acting) and nothing is gonna be able to achieve the hype that the first private if the Caribbean generated fist came out.

However, I absolutely love it. It's so gay and just silly and goofy and I will be watching all of it like the minute my friends go home

Now Tumblrs reaction. To get back to the point

So I don't remember if I found out about this show via the Netflix adverts like trailers for it or one of my friends texting me "why on earth is Luffy on my Tumblr feed?" And then for me to subsequently go onto my Tumblr I'm look up the little luffy tab and go omg that making a One Piece live action w"ell I have to see this."

Just slowly watching as each day Tumblr put up a different character to like slowly count down to when the show came out and then the show came out and you can see it was all just the Netflix posts about one piece on Tumblr which was insane to me when I looked at it this morning.

An obviously I didn't bother to tune in for when they put every single character up. I saw when Nami was put up and when Zoro was put up and that was about it.

So then to go on the hashtag on PS because it's like the top trending hashtag on Tumblr at the moment and for so many people to be complaining about the The clown buggy is hilarious to me because I've never had an issue with clowns personally and I know Japan doesn't have a fear of clowns at all and they do just occasionally put clowns in the media and then for Tumblr to be like weird and freaked out going "Get him off my dash use ad blocked to get him off my data right now" so so funny

Also while watching it my friend discribed buggy as hatsune miku jack Nicholson looking clown ass was very funny

[n3cr0tic-cvnt]

D☠️

Being angry at someone I finally blocked for the last time semi-recently.

TW: mention of traumatic experiences (rape, forced breeding/miscarriage, etc), me yelling at an abusive ex, mention of my own awful behavior. There’s so real rhyme or reason to it I’m just having a massive moment rn. Usually when I’m like this I would say this shit to him in text cause he’s dumb enough to keep going back and forth but I promised I wouldn’t do that shit anymore. I’ll do this diary like bullshit instead.

I don’t miss him I miss this feeling I don’t miss him I miss this feeling I don’t miss him I miss this feeling I DO NOT MISS HIM I MISS THIS.

Dear gods sometimes I need to be beat in the fucking skull with a sledgehammer.

I hate him so why do I still keep tabs? I hate him so why do I hear his voice sometimes? I hate him so why is he in my nightmares? Why can’t he just go away? Stop unblocking me and adding me again to apologize and love bomb, stop texting me about how much you want kids and asking about my health and fertility. stop telling me about how you’re leaving the country soon and “you know that’s what I’ve always wanted” and just go. You fucked me up more than anyone who isn’t family has. You put me through shit I never even understood. To this day you try to tell me you loved me and I will Never believe you.

You don’t get to talk to me about kids when you traumatized me and gave me a fear of pregnancy so intense I have thoughts of ripping my own uterus out, that makes me break down and think of suicide if a guy so much as mentions not pulling out with me. A guy mentioned it as a kink, during sex once more recently and I started to shake so violently and fight so hard we were both confused at the end. You tried so hard to trap me just to put me through blood and disaster not once but twice, you made me not wanna get off of a birth control that nearly gave me a stroke and then took advantage the second you found out I couldn’t be on it anymore. I WAS 17 THE FIRST TIME. I’m so fucking sick of you, I’m sick of hearing about new things you did to my friends. I’m disgusted when I think about how I used to cover for you, lie for you, defend you and enable you to hurt everyone around me the same ways you did to me. You raped my best friend and I was so fucked up and ruined that i sat there and blamed her when she’s just sat there and given me a word for word exact description of how you operate, known from intimate experience.

And I sat there and blamed her, made her think she was crazy, and stopped talking to her for having been in a room alone with you without my knowledge to begin with. I really just need to remind myself of this shit sometimes.

I came across texts the other day of me defending you and I felt sick.

Reminding myself how we met always does it for me though. I don’t understand why I attached the way I did.i was a freshman, and I Never should’ve joined JROTC but I fucking did to get out of gym class. And they never should’ve appointed you as our leader, forgive me for not remembering your rank but frankly you’re a fucking private now so it doesn’t matter. Even though I have no idea how you’re even still in the military after that video that got sent in. But whatever. I liked you yeah I’ll admit, I followed you around like a pet here and there. But you fucking tricked me. You used the fact that uniform checks where normal, overseeing us changing into our pt clothes sometimes. You always bitched at me for hiding in the stalls when we changed until you saw the blood on the inside of my pant legs and the box cutter in my backpack. You used that. You let me change early so I could get the bathroom to myself…and you entered the stall with me. I tried to leave the stall and you grabbed my arm to pull me back, pulled my hair and slammed my head into the wall. Idk when you closed the door but you did. I panicked and froze, and to this day you tell me that was consent. I cried on that disgusting fucking floor until the bell rung after you left. But you just kept acting like it was something fun we did together. You would text me like we were both in on it, like you were courting me. Then I’d fucking show up again. Why did I keep buying into your bullshit? Why did I keep believing the shit you said about liking me and you didn’t know it would hurt me and you wouldn’t do it again? I hate myself for that. Because it was you. I fucking hate you.

I hate that I didn’t leave until you almost killed me, I hate that I let you do this shit to me and I hate that I hallucinate your fucking voice. I hope you die in another fucking humvee accident.

The only comforting thought I have is that while I’m fucked up forever, you are too. You gave me the pleasure of knowing that our last phone call when you broke down crying cause I wasn’t buying it. Did it finally fucking click dipshit? I hope you die with me on your mind. I’m happy I got you back. Now stop looking for a way to go back and fucking go.

[fangmouf]

-

HE ARRIVED!!!!! im naming him Apollyon. beautiful red kramer lefty. i'm gonna draw all over him lmao

i need an amp, hoping to get one this weekend! im dogsitting so i'll be away from my guitar the whole weekend. i don't want anything more than it rn.

i had a whole playlist of songs and tabs i wanted to learn, and when i was feeling low a few months ago (poor as fuck and had to keep putting off getting an instrument, meanwhile it felt like everyone else around me kept GETTING instruments 😭😭) i deleted it. i remember being so mad and dramatic thinking it was just never gonna happen. i was so down, like so down. i love music, i wanted this so bad...!!

i have a side personal private youtube that i've kept for years just to document various things. i think im gonna start using it now, especially just to keep up with my learning. and my dnd games, i think!!

I GOT A GUITARRRR!!!!!!!!

and FURNITURE!!!!! and dnd dates AND a potential new player and friend at the table!!!!! life is WORTH LIVINGGG AGAINNNN

[lewsnumerounofan]

when in france (lh x reader)

summary: you bump into your ex, lewis, at a club in france. what’s the worst that could happen?

notes: nswf, ex-relationship, unprotected sex, oral (m/f receiving), little bit o’ angst, 4.6k words, not edited

+ check out other works here

+ switched the tense halfway thru again. but im too lazy to change it rn!!! sry!

---

“Lewis is here.”

You don’t hear your friend the first time she says it, the club’s music too loud in your ears. But she presses herself up against you the second time, puts her cheek alongside yours and you feel the shape of his name in her mouth as she yells.

Lewis.

You hadn’t expected him here. Sure, it was the night after a big victory -- a Mercedes two-three finish (not that you’d been watching) -- but from what you’d heard he wasn’t partying these days. He keeps to himself, were the words your mutual friend had used. You didn’t ask about him after that, didn’t want to remind yourself that you were no longer familiar with Lewis’ life, with the little things he did.

You pull your head up from the tight-packed dance floor and try to find him -- the tight braids, strong shoulders. And sure enough there is, being led up the wall-mounted staircase to the VIP area. Even from a distance you can see the heavy black cargos, the flimsy white tank top barely covering his shoulders, the dark press of his tattoos underneath.

“He’s so fine,” your friend murmurs. You turn, letting your shoulder shove into hers. Trying to slow your breathing, calm yourself. Lewis is here, in the same club as you. So close, and-

“He’s looking at you.”

“What?”

You whip back to your friend, but she’s suddenly busy dancing with a blue-haired girl, sending you a guilty kiss as the two move away. Some friend.

So it’s just you who has to turn back to where you know Lewis stands, remembering suddenly the time you surprised him by flying in for family Christmas. How his mother had grinned and shushed you at the front door, how he’d started smiling as soon as he’d seen you, how warm his hands had been wrapping under your stupid holiday sweater. You’re here, he’d said. But that had been months ago, before your promotion meant you could no longer spare weekends to watch his races, before he started calling you hammered from parties, other women's voices shrill in the background, before he stopped calling at all.

But when you look Lewis isn’t there. The stairs are empty, the glint of his jewellery nowhere to be found. Probably for the best, you think.

Probably for the best.

-

You manage to work back in with some people you’d met in line, joining them in another round of shots. By now everything is starting to feel a bit hazy, tingly, loose. A tall Frenchman presses at your back, his murmur low in your ear. You can’t hear him, laugh, continue dancing. Lewis is almost passed from your head. One more drink and you’re sure to be clear of him, one more… You part from your companions again, narrowly escaping the hands of your dance partner.

“I’m just gonna get another drink, be right back. Promise.”

Clumsily you make it to the bar, heave yourself onto the counter, admire the sea-glass collection of liquor bottles stacked along the shelves. Your head is slowing down a bit and your feet hurt. You order from the bartender and make to pull out your card when a thick British accent speaks from over your shoulder.

“Make it two. And you can add it to my tab, thanks.”

Lewis.

You let the heavy wood bar press into your back as you turned to face him. The same markings of facial hair at his jaw and above his lip, the same glittering stud in his nose. Same warm brown eyes, even the same chain at his neck -- the chain you’d given him after the horrible season end in Abu Dhabi. Still I Rise carved in small lettering on the private metal beside his neck.

“Hi. I was looking for you,” he says, easy, like the last time you saw each other wasn’t when you packed up your things and moved out of his apartment.

“You found me,” you say, because there’s nothing else to say and the club lighting is throwing soft shadows over his shoulders, his arms. He looks older than you remembered, more mature. You’re not sure how you get the words out -- your throat feels tight, your heart taking up all the room in your body.

Behind you the bartender sets down your drinks and you don’t give yourself time to think before offering one to Lewis, your outstretched arm as much a peace offering as you’re willing to make. Your hands brush as he takes it, nods. His eyes don’t leave yours. He says something to you but you’re too distracted by the shift in his throat as he swallows to hear. Or maybe it’s the music.

“What?”

He grins, flashing the tooth gap you’ve been thinking about for months, leans close enough for you to smell the alcohol on him, the cologne. Your heart is racing.

“Wanna go upstairs?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Another grin and he takes your hand. Laces your fingers together like it’s the easiest thing in the world. He leads you along the edge of the crowd, the dark skin of his shoulders shifting as he navigates alongside the wall. His rings are warm against your knuckles. You trail up the stairs behind him, know he’s going to stop in the dim landing of the alcove before he does.

He keeps both hands over yours, like he’s scared you’re going to try run away. Between the dancefloor and the speakers of the VIP lounge is quieter. You think you can hear Lewis’ heartbeat.

“I just- I wanted to say I’m sorry for how things ended. Between us,” he says, and his eyes are crinkled and you knew he really cares.

“S’okay, Lewis. It’s okay.”

Hope. That’s the little gleam in his eye as he lets his tongue push out into his cheek.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

And then his hand is cupping your neck, the tips of his fingers already curling through your hair and you can’t help but smile back, rub your face into the soft skin of his palm.

“Wanna get drunk with me?” he whispers, like you’re teenagers again, like this is your shared secret plan.

Yeah. Yeah, you do.

-

You promised yourself you’d call an Uber home but Lewis doesn’t let you. He pulls your phone away and you’re too inebriated and slow to get it back. Too happy and giggly to care. He dangles it just out of reach and you let yourself play, pressing your body against his, stretching until you feel the hot fan of his breath on your neck. His hands settling on your hips, his lips on your neck. Come home with me, he’s saying, and you’re nodding into the crook of his shoulder, breathing him in.

In the car he slides closed the privacy screen between the driver and the backseat. Doesn’t even let you get all the way in before he’s pulling you onto his lap, hands framing your face, teeth biting at your lower lip. When you pull away his eyes are sleepy and wholly black, his mouth quirked up at one side, red from kissing. You want him in your mouth then, want to see if he tastes the same as you remember.

You’d done this once before on the way to some fancy event. There had been no time in the hotel beforehand, and Lewis’ cropped outfit had been irresistible. Hidden between his legs, careful not to disturb the fine fabric of his pants, you’d let him hit the back of your throat every time the car went over a bump. The way he whimpered as you kitten licked him, ringed thumb feeling his own cock through the skin of your cheek. You’d barely finished swallowing and tucking him back into his pants when you’d arrived. He’d kissed you real hard hidden in the privacy of the car. Kept looking over at you during the event speeches. Smiling, looking down, shaking his head. You’d squeeze his hand or shove him. He returned the favour in one of the bathrooms, slight scuff marks on the knees of his suit the only hint as you two returned for dessert.

But this time is different. Lewis doesn’t pick up on what you’re doing at first, whining when you break away from him. His hands are grasping at your shirt but you push him off, shaking your head, grinning.

“Wanna touch you,” he says, and his voice is rough and low. You almost abandon your plans. Almost. Instead you move your legs from around his hips to between them, dropping to the floor of the car. You pull your hair up too, knowing that Lewis will pull at it anyways.

“Oh.”

You give him one more wicked smile before finding the button of his pants, tugging his zipper down. Already Lewis is impatient, muscled thigh bouncing up and down lightly in your peripheral. You slide your hand along it, soothing turning brazen as you continue your path to trace the hard shape of him through his briefs.

He curses, jerking under your featherlight touch. You can see his clenched fists pressed on either side of the seat in a desperate attempt not to grab for you. Not to upset the odd balance that somehow found you at the same club, on the same night, and now on your knees before him.

“You can touch me, Lewis,” you joke, but it comes out slow, sounds sanded down by your inebriation.

His fingers find your hair, tucking back stray strands so he can see your mouth. Quickly, hands fumbling slightly, you pull him out of his boxers. Quiet, pressing kisses to the head of him, the shaft, the sensitive skin of his pelvis. You let the short hair there scratch at your cheek before you lick an unbroken strip up. Above you, Lewis’ chest heaves, tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. He’s always been transfixed by this, by watching you. So you look up at him, at his sleepy hooded eyes, as you take him into the back of your throat. He makes a desperate hurting sound, his hand gripping harder at your hair. You hold him there for a moment, letting water collect at your lash line, letting your gag reflex kick in, before humming once and pulling up, spitting into your fist, stroking him.

Lewis is everywhere — his laboured breathe in your ear, the musky taste of him in your mouth, his smell.

Stupid of you to think your memories could be fonder than reality, that the velvet of his skin couldn’t be as all-consuming as you recollected. He is beautiful before you, his powerful thighs and wide, strong torso. The gentle stroke of his fingers at your scalp. You had missed this, missed him. You swipe at his precum with your tongue, savouring the hot smooth skin there, the way he moans under the small gentle touches of your mouth.

The car comes to a stop before you can take him into your throat again, and Lewis doesn’t even bother fully zipping up his pants as he leads you out of the car. His kisses on your neck, shoulder, cheek, murmuring that he’d missed your mouth, that you looked so pretty on your knees. You blush -- not minutes after sucking him off in the back of a car you’re blushing at his praise.

He takes your hand as you hurry through the hotel lobby and over to the elevators. You shush each other, both frantically pressing at the up button and laughing at the fullness of the moment. You’re drunk off Lewis.

As soon as the elevator doors open he’s on you, pressing you back to the mirrored glass wall, licking into your mouth, your teeth. His hands are all over, hiking up your dress, pushing back your hair, grasping and tilting your face to where he wants it.

“Lew-”

He hums into you, reaching between your legs to cup your core. It’s so brazen, so claiming that your legs feel weak. You let your arms fall around his neck, let yourself take everything he gives you.

The elevator pings, the doors open. Lewis pulls off your mouth, forehead pressed to yours so your breathe mingles. His brow furrows and for a second you’re terrified this has all been some misunderstanding. That the next sentence out of his mouth will be this was a mistake. That this was all some horrible attempt to cushion your feelings or not make you feel stupid. 

“It might be a little messy in my room-”

You laugh and blow right by him, ducking under his reaching arms.

“Hey,” he calls, but you’ve already made it to his door and are in the middle of an attempt to take off your heels, catching desperately at the wall for balance.

“Hey what,” you echo back, pulling your head up to find him real close now. Watching you. This is how it felt when we were first falling in love, you think. You want to hide it, keep this precious idea lingering in your subconscious for a little longer but there it is, glaring, almost, in the little smile playing across Lewis’ lips, the crinkle at his eyes.

“Just hey,” and this time he says it onto your mouth as kisses you, spins you around, lets you squeal into his cheek as the carpet and the lights twirl.

Behind you the click of his keycard and then he’s crowding you into the dark hotel suite. You feel up at his face, push your palms flat to his cheeks, stroke first his brow then his full lips with the pad of your thumb. He barely breathes as you move, only watching you from under his long, soft eyelashes.

“So beautiful, Lew.”

You don’t mean to say it, stopping your fingers when you hear your own words. So loud in the new space. But it’s dark too, and Lewis lets his head drop to kiss you again -- slow this time. First your temple, then each closed eyelid, your cheekbones, the tip of your nose. You sigh into him when he slots over your lips, when he traces his tongue over your front teeth.

“Lewis.”

“I know, I know baby,” he practically coos it into your mouth, big hands holding your face.

Then you’re scrambling to find the bed, tripping over suitcases and couches. Lewis wasn’t a messy person -- this weekend must’ve been hectic for him to be leaving his place like this. Or maybe he just doesn’t have anyone to keep it clean for anymore, a voice somewhere in the back of your mind adds. You push the thought away, focus instead on the dim shapes of the wall, the inky black patches that must be doors. You’re stumbling, but Lewis’ hands catch you, forearms banding over your middle. At your back, pressing up against you, kissing into your neck.

“I got you. I got you,” he murmurs, and the husky timbre of his voice has your thighs pressing together.

“Lewis,” you whine again, desperate for his fingers, his tongue, his cock.

Shuffling, hand out, Lewis leads you through the door and to the bed, spinning you round to face him before he’s pushing you back onto the soft sheets. With his help you lift and discard your dress and shoes. Already you’re itching to do the same to him, but Lewis only sinks to his knees and pulls you to the very edge of the bed. Such a familiar strength as he tugs at the back of your knees. Easy. Gentle. You could get used to this.

You prop yourself up on your elbows, trying to keep your head silent from now on. But the thought lingers as Lewis mouths slowly at your calf, kissing to your knee, your thigh, licks into the crease of your hip. You jump, watching him hide his smile against the soft skin of your stomach.

“Shut up.”

You let a hand fall lazily to shove at his cheek. He turns, catches your palm instantly -- fast, sometimes you forget how fast he is -- bites at your fingers. You squeak but let him hold you there, considering the flesh and bone. You catch the dangerous glint in his eye immediately.

“Lewis..”

He shushes you, his predatory focus on your fingers indivertable.

“Trust me sweetheart,” he says, and you know there’s no use fighting it. Slowly, as if still thinking the idea over, Lewis turns your hand over, pressing it towards your own core.

“Lewis, I don’t know-”

But already you can feel your pointer and ring finger pressing where you’re overheating, and Lewis is gazing between your legs like there’s something beautiful there.

“Let me do this,” and his voice is practically begging. Cheeks aflame, you can’t watch as Lewis guide your fingers in, in, in. You moan at the same time he does, squirming at the need for more, at the knowledge that Lewis is practically hypnotized watching you finger fuck yourself for him. He guides your digits out with a full tug at your wrist, and then bares them back again, letting the wet sound you make travel up to you.

“Lewis-”

No longer hesitant now, you’re needy for more, for him. But Lewis doesn’t heed any of your whining, only pushing your fingers back and forth at that same excruciating pace, practically eating you with his hungry eyes. He knows the slight humiliation of getting yourself off in front of him keeps you docile so he pushes it -- pushes you -- until you’re practically writhing beneath him. Until you surrender to him like a fever, until he is the only thing, the only shape your mouth can form. Then he relents, pulls your fingers out fully, lets you flutter in their absence, sucks the digits clean, grunts at the taste of you.

You sob his name again and then he’s locking your thighs open and licking you in one long stripe. You’re frenzied after that, breaking quickly into a white washed orgasm, bucking as he works you into you into an oversensitive mess.

“S’okay, I got you,” he’s whispering, moving up your body to handle your limp figure, letting you curl up boneless in his lap. He kisses out constellations on your shoulders, says: you did so good for me baby, so proud of you.

You don’t move for a while, eventually coming to trace the lines of the tattoos on his collar bones. The hotel heater kicks on, huffing quietly across the room.

“I always loved how you’d do that,” he says. Your orgasm has left you cold and you press further into the steady heat of him, the small patches of skin open to you through his clothes.

“Missed you, Lew. Really missed you.”

It’s all you’ll let yourself admit back to him, but he takes your face between his hands, enveloping you, hiding you from the rest of the world and kisses you so gently you think you’ll break.

“Lewis.”

The moon shines through the window and Lewis’ eyes are bright with it.

“Yeah.”

“Have sex with me.”

He sighs, slow and long because he knows this will change things. Then he’s kissing you again, lips delicate on yours, sliding over your jaw, searching out the sensitive spots on your neck. You’re gasping and Lewis is tugging off his shirt.

He goes for his pants but halts under your tracing hands. First the lion snarling, then you’re thumbing over the compass, the hard press of his solar plexus. You kiss him there once, twice, right at the center of him. Like you’re marking him, saying I was here. He shudders and shifts you off his lap to fully strip out of his cargos and briefs. He’s leaking and red, standing out from his stomach.

“Poor baby’s been so neglected,” you coo and he pushes you back into the mountain of pillows at the headboard. You’re joking, maybe. You can never tell with Lewis. He’s sizing you up too, one knee propped on the bed, hand absentmindedly stroking himself.

“Why don’t you do something about it then?”

He’s so much bigger than you, stronger than you, when he talks like this. Reminds you of him in the car, the crude way he’d sometimes talk to the other men in the garage. Your heart rate kicks up, just a bit.

“C’mere.”

He obliges, covering your body and face in shadow as he holds himself level with you. One hand on his bicep --- so solid, so heavy under your hand -- the other to the hot length of him. His mouth open and brow furrowed as he watches you notch him at your entrance. And then just you and him, watching.

“You’re sure?” he asks.

You look again at the tired warmth of his eyes, the smile lines you’d been lucky enough to frequent for years at a time. Lewis and you played around it, letting yourselves get distracted by the petty everyday stress of relationships, dating, fame, but here you were. Back in his bed, back in his arms, back in the same club. You and Lewis were just that: you and Lewis. You were destined to orbit around each other. Perhaps this time you could get away with colliding.

You kiss him, all the answer he needs to start pushing into you. You keep your lips connected until the stretch of him, the size of him, is too much, has you gasping into his shoulder. You’d forgotten the press of him between your legs, in your head, until he was shoving everything else out, only Lewis. Too tight, too big. Your breathing is ragged, tears finding their way past your clenched eyes.

“You can take it baby,” he says as he keeps baring into you, kissing at your tears. You leave red lines down his back. You feel dumb on his cock, on the way it takes up every space in your head. He kisses your temple when he bottoms out, shaking above you. Maybe you are too, but when you open your eyes Lewis is staring at you like he’s seeing you for the very first time, eyes wide. He leans down to kiss you, keeps his eyes closed as he whispers, “I love you.”

And then he’s pulling out, almost to the tip, not letting you reply before thrusting back in. The power in his hips knocks your breath away, only able to claw at his back as he hikes up one of your legs. The angle has you seeing stars with each new push of him, eyes near rolling back into your head as he pants over you. His chain -- the chain you’d given him -- dangles above you. Funny, you think dimly. Even with everything a part of you was with him always. It hurts your heart a little, but then Lewis is shifting, pining your hips down, forcing you to take even more of him and you think you’re tearing apart.

“Lewis, Lewis,” you’re crying his name, desperate as you cling to him, clench around him.

He’s murmuring something at your ear but you can hardly hear him over the growing crush in your ears, twin to the ever-tightening climax knotting in your core. Then: Lewis’ hand, coaxing at your cheek. He tips your face up ‘till you’re looking at him, eyes wide, vulnerable. For you, only for you. One arm is wrapped over his shoulders, the other coming up to hold him, to push back two braids working themselves loose. He’s mumbling it, I love you, over and over, so you kiss him to make him stop, to try slow down this beautiful spinning wheel you two have found yourselves riding.

You’re too hot below him, the heat of his body covering you, pressing at you. He slips his thumb down to circle your clit and you can’t help but buck into his calloused finger. Everything is too much -- Lewis urging you forward a frenzied peak, the stretch of him between your legs, the quiet way he moans into you.

The warm lick of his tongue through your mouth, the way he licks over your mouth like he owns it has you breaking. Finally you’re crumpling over his cock, crying out as Lewis fucks you through it. Eyes closed, you let yourself burrow into him as your senses mute, vision white. Each raw drag of him has you whimpering, keening into the over-stimulation.

“Can I-” he starts to ask and you nod, lock your legs behind him. Something pained flashes over his expression, something you want to kiss away, but then he’s cumming, so hard he stops breathing. You coax him through it. Kiss at his hairline, brow. He slumps into you, letting his whole weight bore you into the mattress. Pressed to the underside of his arm you just hold him, this beautiful creature you’ve found again. He lies there until his breathing settles and you think he's fallen asleep when he rolls enough to eye you -- one drowsy brown shape watching beneath his messy braids.

“Hi Lewis.”

He whispers back, gentle into the sheets.

“Hi.”

You’re smiling at each other softly, like this could be the start of something, like this might not be the end after all.

Slowly, like it’s the greatest effort of his life, Lewis heaves himself onto his back, rolling you with him. His cock is still inside you, but you know his cum will be leaking out soon, a dirty little reminder of what you let him do.

“Have to get up,” you tell him.

His arm tightens at your side, face suddenly closed off in a way you hadn’t seen all night.

“You gonna come back?” he asks.

You kiss the corner of his mouth, heart hurting at the question, how young he sounds saying it.

“Yeah Lew, I’ll come back.”

-

When you return from the bathroom he’s sleeping, chest rising under the thick hotel sheet.

You pad out to the kitchen, marble tiles cold against your feet. You try your best to find a glass without waking him, shuffling quietly through cupboards until you get the right one. Wincing at how loud the sink sounds in the high-ceilinged room. I love you, he’d said. Pushed the words onto your lips reverently, gifted them to you because he couldn’t keep them to himself. Oh, Lewis.

You watch out the high skyline of the apartment as the sun begins to colour the sky, sipping occasionally at your water, thinking.

Your legs are getting cold when Lewis comes out of the bedroom, eyes dark. He doesn’t notice you at first, only breathing hard in the open space of the hotel. He looks -- devastated.

“Lewis?” He starts at your voice, only staring at you for a moment before releasing a hard sigh, starting towards you and stopping abruptly at the edge of the kitchen.

“I thought-”

His voice catches and you cringe at the question in his speech, how his voice wavers.

“I thought you left.” His eyes, searching, scanning yours as you put down your water, trace around the kitchen counter to him. Stand before him, close, almost touching. You take his hand, look at the easy way your fingers connect.

“No, Lewis, I’m not leaving.”

Hope. It was what you’d seen earlier at the club and you knew if you found Lewis’ eyes you would see it again now. You’d made your decision -- made it when you first took his hand at the bar. You catch his gaze then, smile, just for him.

“Couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

He’s smiling too, just the beginnings of it, eyes bright again. Over his shoulder the sun breaks the horizon, golden light washing the hotel.

“Couldn’t because I love you, Lew.”

[catgirlforkaeya]

kaeya relationship hcs

kaeya x gn!reader

little bit of everything (fluff, hurt/comfort, crack, little bit of angst)

also kinda a modern au ig idk tvs exist

warnings: not proofread + all lowercase

a/n: i’m procrastinating requests and sleep rn so take these. there’s no specific theme just random hcs my sleep deprived brain thought of. i’ll add onto this randomly probably but feel free to comment hcs in the comments/ send to dms or ask box i would love to hear them (pls i am desperate)

!! also spoilers for kaeya’s lore, if u don’t know it i recommend looking it up before u read this !!

ok i’m gonna start with the obvious stuff here: i see a lot of people saying “oh kaeya would manipulate his s/o and cheat on them blah blah blah” then continues to say stuff that makes him seem like an ass (if you’ve ever said this dni /hj). the poor guy has lost sm people in his life & more than likely has abandonment issues so why would he purposely do something to drive his s/o away/hurt them? plus it’s canon that he really only is manipulative when it comes to getting information out of people which is normal in that line of work ig

more utc!!

i feel like he’d be possessive over you but not in a creepy insane way more of a “i don’t want to lose you so i do my best to keep tabs on you to make sure you’re safe” (a caring way ig)

very touchy. he doesn’t go all out in public (just a half on the waist, holding hands, sharing kisses, small acts like that) but in private my god he cannot keep his hands off of you. constantly is cuddling with you, runs his hands up and down your body during makeout sessions, playing with your hair while you two sit on the couch/lay in bed watching tv. literally does everything he can to constantly be touching you

NECK KISSES. kaeya would 100% love neck kisses (giving and receiving). sometimes his neck kisses are soft and other times they’re rougher. he def leaves a hickey on you at least once or twice a week. and when you give him a kiss on the neck he’d melt on the spot

isn’t very open with you at first but once you two get further into your relationship & you prove that he can trust you he’ll open up about stuff. it’ll be a slow process because he’s never really shared any of this with people & he’s scared what you’ll think of him after you learn about his past

def rarely ever cries. you always remind him that it’s okay to cry but hes gotten so used to bottling up emotions he just doesn’t know how to cry whenever he wants. when he does finally break though it’s basically non-stop for a few hours. weeks, months, even years of emotions are bottled up in his body so a lot comes out when he breaks. you are always there for him no matter what. holding him in ur arms as he cries into your shoulder, giving advice the best you can, giving small reminders that you love him in between kisses

insomnia. this man has been through so much shit i feel like he just has frequent nightmares of stuff. those nightmares cause him to be scared to sleep for a day or two because he doesn’t want to experience it again. you do your best to stay up w him to keep company but you usually crash around 3-4am

hates storms. his lore mentioned there was a bad storm when his father left him & the night crepus died and that whole fiasco afterwards so it’d make sense. tries his best to hide it at first but eventually gives up. usually just turns the tv up high and buries his head into your chest

drinks a lot (which is obvious) even at home. whenever he starts having problems mentally he drowns it with alcohol. it’s never a problem because he honestly is just a sad drunk and usually ends up venting about stuff randomly but it just concerns you. probably stopped drinking as much since you came into his life tho

has scars/burn marks that he’s insecure about but when you trace them/give them kisses all those insecurities fade away

overworks himself. ik he’s seen as lazy and stuff but i feel like he’d purposely just drown himself in work as a distraction from life to the point you have to go and drag him out of his office

ok back to happy stuff, he definitely likes it when you play with his hair. most likely is very touch starved so that small action is like heaven to him

his love language is a mix of all of them but prob mostly touch, words of affirmation, or acts of service

uses a lot of pet names for you but mostly uses darling, sweetheart, hun, babe, or love

when he works late shifts and you fall asleep before he gets home he will probably feel awful (even tho you’ve reminded him that it’s okay & you understand). crawls into bed and holds you in his arms while whisper sweet nothings even if you’re dead asleep. does his best to not wake you but sometimes does just to let you know he’s home safe

takes you stargazing. i feel like kaeya likes the stars bc he finds peace in them somehow. will 100% take you onto rooftops in mondstadt at random hours to lay up there and look at the sky. would say some cheesy comment like “out of all of these stars you light up my night the most”

loves taking showers/baths together. even if you don’t actually shower he enjoys it either way. half the time you can never get anything done because he’s just giving a bunch of kisses and teasing you

absolutely loves seeing you in his clothes. he finds it adorable and if the shirt is oversized on you that’s even better for him

he will paint your nails. i’m not going into detail here he would just simply paint them i’m not taking any arguments

the last like hour before you two go to bed he just constantly reminds you how much he loves you, how much you mean to him, how he wants to have a future with you, etc while he holds you close in his arms

you don’t have to fight over blankets since he sleeps so close to you it doesn’t matter you two have plenty of blanket space

prefers being the big spoon but doesn’t mind being the little spoon occasionally. when he’s the big spoon he feels like he can protect you more

has you sleep on his side where his eyepatch isn’t at (i can’t remember what side it’s on i’m sorry it’s 4am rn). at first you didn’t really understand but he later explained that he just feels he can protect you better (when he gets comfortable enough to take it off it doesn’t matter what side)

as i’ve mentioned in these past few points kaeya is VERY protective of you. again not in a weird way he just doesn’t want you to get ripped away from him. if u mention somebody fucked with you he’d “talk to them in private” and then they’d never mess with you again

i feel like he’s a good cook idk he just has that energy, it’s not something he talks about but is good at it and really only ever cooks for the two of you

will take care of you the best he can when you’re sick. you scold him saying he’s going to get sick too but he doesn’t listen

absolutely LOVES books and reads in his freetime. it’s kinda a guilty pleasure for him but he constantly shares it with you and sometimes even has you read it with him

takes you ice skating in the winter, he’s prob a pro at it and loves teaching you how to skate

cold ass hands. i mean he’s a cryo user what would you expect. it’s helpful in the summer though

barely ever wears a shirt on around the house, even if it’s cold as hell he just doesn’t put one on. you don’t mind seeing him shirtless but u are always so lost on how he doesn’t get cold at all

gets you a lot of random gifts— half the time you don’t even expect them but you love and cherish them because they came from kaeya

© all rights reserved to catgirlforkaeya. reposting, plagiarizing, modifying, and translating is NOT allowed.

[asmr-analyst]

Hi! I saw your gavin post and thank you so much for posting it!!! I've never used that site before and am alittle confused on it

If you don't mind me asking, do you think it has Adam or better yet Fred's story on it?

Thank you so much for your time!!

hi!!! sorry it too me so long to respond! i’ve tried to three times now and keep accidentally exiting the tab and losing the post 😭😭😭

i’ll answer your second question first: i was actually about to look for adams videos so I’ll probably have them up on my page in like… less than an hour. because they’re all 1+ years old, I assume they’ll all be archived. I’ll @ you when I find them :)

About Fred and Bright’s series, I actually did a spur-of-the-moment search for it like… three months ago? I didn’t get any luck (i tried 3 videos, 2 weren’t saved at all and 1 had the description downloaded but not the actual video 😔). I assume people have been passing around their first video on tumblr, but I’m not really in the know about that, so I can’t tell you who you should ask for it. I might try to find their stuff again now that I know how to use the wayback machine better, but I won’t do that until tomorrow (it’s 11pm where i am rn lol)

About the Wayback Machine comment, I made a quick little tutorial for you on how to search and find a video on it, using gavin’s confession as an example:

this page might look slightly different on mobile, but just put your link in the search bar. The best place to find links is the discord video-announcement tab if you don’t already have the link to the video you want to find:

that should take you to a page like this. the calendar shows the exact date someone saved the video to the website. this one was saved 4 times on June 30th, as it says on top.

It’ll probably be best to click on the most recent save (before the video was privated). Wayback machine can show you privated videos if they were saved before they were privated, but not deleted ones.

(The Solaire Clan series (fred and bright) is privated, not deleted, so you could possibly find it this way, Ill check again tomorrow!)

Click the lit up day on the calendar and then the most recent snapshot, and it should take you right to the video! That should be all you need to do to find something, so hope that helps!

(Also, i wanted to say thank you for being my first ask. I’ve been lurking in the fandom a long time and It’s so crazy getting to actually interact 🥰)

[llalloyd]

i downloaded iOS 16 and macOS ventura on my phone and macbook respectively, so im here to share about some of the cool stuff!

ios:

the lockscreen is POGGERS, but i still have no idea how to put people in front of the font and stuff. i'll probably figure that out later, but i'm happy with this rn. the font options go from nice and aesthetic to slightly deranged, with weird numbers and all. the widgets were a good idea.

music player!!

the music player has two modes. one more compressed and compact:

and one more bigger zoomed-in version of the album art!

this is a really nice touch for people who are into album art and like seeing them, and the compact method works with those who want to be a little more private about what theyre listening to. theres also a little equaliser on the top right of the progress bar right next to the song title, which i think is pretty neat!

other stuffystuff:

overall, the animations seem a lot more natural, and i really like that. it makes me feel more comfortable using my phone, and it feels as if it's brand new. this just shows how much software affects the experience, and apple outdid themselves this time. although, there are a few slight animation errors that i've already informed them about, so hopefully they do something soon.

the scrolling on the home page is almost the same as iOS15, but instead the dots at the bottom have a search function when the phone is still. i think for small handed people like me would be okay to use it, but i'm not really sure this function is needed since all we can do is just swipe down for spotlight.

but when we DO swipe down, there's a new animation that makes the search button at the bottom of the screen come up to be the search bar itself. pretty cool ngl

the fixed app row at the bottom of the homescreen seems even closer to the edge, either that or my eyes are failing me. there's no battery percentage yet, but hopefully the actually update has it :')

the hold picture thing isn't working for me as for now, but that's maybe bc i'm on an older phone. can beta testers who use newer phones tell me if it works on yours?

the fitness app was a good thing i feel. im always super unmotivated to exercise, so i think seeing the rings themselves can help me force myself to exercise everyday :D

that's all for iOS! onto macOS!

ok first things first, ventura is BIG. like big BIG update. 12gb???? my computer was having a difficult time to download everything, but i eventually got it downloaded. and the biggest thing in this update:

stage manager!

(dont mind the ayato wallpaper thanks 💀)

stage manager actually boosted my productivity in class, a LOT. my moots know that we use our computers a lot in class, and stage manager helped me not only focus, but do my work more efficiently. i used to be a very everything-full-screen person. i would put all of my windows in full screen mode and travelling between them was a little bit torturous. but stage manager somewhat found a middleground for people who love full screen and minimised windows. they made it so that your current window was big enough to feel like it's full screen, but you still have the stage manager at the side for you to switch your windows whenever you want to.

however, it was a little difficult to navigate at first. i kept opening windows that i wasnt supposed to and i had no idea how to group tabs and separate them. hopefully the feedback i gave to apple will allow them to give more direct instructions on how to use the stage manager.

oh. that's pretty much everything. well for me at least, most of the update was an aesthetic upgrade, but self performance could also be boosted! i'm not sure about other features, but these few are the ones that really stuck with me!

[motleyfam]

I had too much to say to fit into a single comment, plus I decided I didn't especially want to get roasted if people don't like my browsing habits, so I hope you're cool with me rambling about how I use AO3! Feel free to ignore (⁠๑⁠•⁠﹏⁠•⁠)

So, here's the thing: I hate getting emails. They stress me out, so I've gotta REALLY like a fic to subscribe. I also worry about whether unsubscribing could make the author sad, especially since usually the reasons I stop actively reading a fic aren't because I think it's suddenly terrible. It's usually one or a combination of the following:

- My life got busier again and I have to cut back how much I'm reading, or stop entirely for a while

- I've switched blorbos and only want to consume content of the current one (I'll cycle back eventually)

- I've forgotten what happens in that particular fic and don't have the time and/or energy to re-read it yet

- I am just. Not mood for that one rn. Vibes are not aligned

Anyway, since I basically never unsubscribe from anything, I'm very picky about what I DO subscribe to. Enter history, which conveniently tells you if you've read the latest version!

Basically, I'll browse like normal, and when I'm interested in a fic I open it in a private tab where I'm not signed in so it doesn't show up in my AO3 history. If I like it, I'll open it again in a normal, signed-in tab. If I REALLY like it, I'll also hit the subscribe button! I try to remember to give kudos in both situations.

This makes the first several pages of my history fics that I'm currently interested in. It's like an easter egg hunt to scroll through them to see if there are updates. It's a nice feeling to find an update when I'm browsing my history, like— it's a fun thing to do when you're bored and want a hit but don't have updates from email. You might find one! Or even several!!

It's a little clunky and imperfect, but it works just fine for me. The biggest issue is the rare accidental hitting of a fic's "delete from history" button. There's no check for confirmation or undo and if I didn't see what it was, it vanishes too quickly to figure it out.

.

I live in terror of the 'clear history' button.

Not gonna lie, this is a little unhinged, buddy, but you know what? You do you.

[bogkeep]

hmmmmmmmmmm maybe i’ll write an Introspective Musing Post about my relationship to religion and their depiction in stories because i’ve pondering about this topic lately

so for those who are reading this and DON’T know what’s been going on...  there’s this webcomic i fell in love with some years ago, about six years actually, that depicts a post-apocalyptic fantasy/horror adventure set in the nordic countries. it had, and has still, some very uncomfortable flaws regarding racial representation, and the creator has historically not dealt very well with criticism towards it. it’s a whole Thing. my relationship with this comic has fluctuated a lot, since there are a lot of elements in it i DO love and i still feel very nostalgic about, and like idk i felt like i trust my skills in critical thinking enough to keep reading. aaand then the creator went a teensy bit off the deep end created a whole minicomic which is like... a lukewarm social media dystopia where christians are oppressed (and also everyone is a cute bunny, including our lord and saviour jesus christ). which is already tonedeaf enough considering there are religious people who DO get prosecuted for their faith, like, that’s an actual reality for a lot of people - but as far as i can tell, usually not christians. and then there’s an afterword that’s like, “anyway i got recently converted and realized i’m a disgusting human being full of sin who doesn’t deserve redemption but jesus loves me so i’ll be fine!! remember to repent for your sins xoxo” and a bunch of other stuff and IT’S KIND OF REALLY CONCERNING i have, uh, been habitually looking at the reactions to and discussions around this, maybe it’s not very self care of me but there’s a lot of overwhelming things rn and it’s fantastically distracting, yknow? like, overall this situation is fairly reminiscent of the whole jkr thing. creator of a series that is Fairly Beloved, does something hurtful, handles backlash in a weird way, a lot of people start taking distance from Beloved Series or find ways to enjoy it on their own terms, creator later reveals to have been fully radicalized and releases a whole manifesto, and any and all criticism gets framed as harassment and proving them right. of course, one of them is a super rich person with a LOT of media power and a topic that is a lot more destructive in our current zeitgeist, and the other is an independent webcomic creator, so it’s  not the same situation. just similar vibez ya feel as a result of this, i have been Thinking. and just this feels like some sort of defeat like god dammit she got me i AM thinking about the topic she wrote about!!! i should dismiss the whole thing!!! but thinking about topics is probably a good thing so hey lets go. me, i’m agnostic. i understand that this is a ‘lazy’ position to take, but it’s what works for me. i simply do not vibe with organized religion, personally. (i had the wikipedia page for ‘chaos magic’ open in a tab for several weeks, if that helps.) i was raised by atheists in a majorly atheist culture. christian atheist, i should specify. norway has been mostly and historically lutheran, and religion has usually been a private and personal thing. it turns out the teacher i had in 7th grade was mormon, but i ONLY found out because he showed up in a tv series discussing religious groups in norway later, and he was honestly one of the best teachers i have ever had - he reignited the whole class’ interest in science, math, and dungeons and dragons. it was a real “wait WHAT” moment for my teenage self. i think i was briefly converted to christianity by my friend when i was like 7, who grew up in a christian family (i visited them a couple times and always forgot they do prayers before dinner. oops!), but like, she ALSO made me believe she was the guardian of a secret magic orb that controls the entire world and if i told anybody the world would burn down in 3 seconds. i only suspected something was off when one day the Orb ran on batteries, and another day the Orb had to be plugged in to charge. in my defense i really wanted to be part of a cool fantasy plot. i had no idea how to be a christian beyond “uuuuh believe in god i guess” so it just faded away on its own. when i met this friend several years later, she was no longer christian. i think every childhood friend of mine who grew up in a christian family, was no longer christian when they grew up. most notably my closest internet friend whose family was catholic - she had several siblings, and each of them took a wildly different path, from hippie treehugger to laveyan satanist or something in that area. (i joined them for a sermon in a church when they visited my town. my phone went off during it because i had forgotten to silence it. oops!) ((i also really liked their mother’s interpretation of purgatory. she explained it as a bath, not fire. i like that.)) i have never had any personal negative experiences with christianity, despite being openly queer/gay/trans. the only time someone has directly told me i’m going to hell was some guy who saw me wearing a hoodie on norway’s constitution day. yeah i still remember that you bastard i’ve sworn to be spiteful about it till the day i die!! i’ve actually had much more insufferable interactions with the obnoxious kind of atheists - like yes yes i agree with you on a lot but that doesn’t diminish your ability to be an absolute hypocrite, it turns out? i remember going to see the movie ‘noah’ with a friend who had recently discovered reddit atheism and it was just really exhausting to discuss it with her. one of these Obnoxious Atheists is my Own Mother. which is a little strange, honestly, because she LOVES visiting churches for the Aesthetic and Architecture. we cannot go anywhere without having to stop by a pretty church to Admire and Explore. I’VE BEEN IN SO MANY CHURCHES FOR AN ATHEIST RAISED NON-CHRISTIAN. i’ve been to the vatican TWICE (i genuinely don’t even know how much of my extended family is christian. up north in the tiny village i come from, i believe my uncle is the churchkeeper, and it’s the only building in the area that did not get burnt down by the the nazis during ww2 - mostly because soldiers needed a place to sleep. still don’t know whether or not said uncle believes or not, because hey, it’s Personal) i think my biggest personal relationship to religion, and christianity specifically, has been academic. yeah, we learned a brief synopsis of world religions at school (and i remember the class used to be called ‘christianity, religion, and ethics’ and got changed to ‘religion, beliefs, and ethics’ which is cool. it was probably a big discourse but i was a teen who didnt care), but also my bachelor degree is in art history, specifically western art history because it’s a vast sprawling topic and they had to distill it as best they could SIGHS. western art history is deeply entangled with the history of the church, and i think the most i’ve ever learnt about christianity is through these classes (one of my professors wrote an article about how jesus can be interpreted as queer which i Deeply Appreciate). i also specifically tried to diversify my academic input by picking classes such as ‘depiction of muslims and jewish people in western medieval art’ and ‘art and religion’ when i was an exchange student in canada, along with 101 classes in anthropology and archaeology. because i think human diversity and culture is very cool and i want to absorb that knowledge as best as i can. i think my exchange semester in canada was the most religiously diverse space have ever been in, to be honest. now as an adult i have more christian friends again, but friends who chose it for themselves, and who practice in ways that sound good and healthy, like a place of solace and community for them. the vast majority of my friends are queer too, yknow?? i’ve known too many people who have seen these identities as fated opposites, but they aren’t, they’re just parts of who people are. it’s like... i genuinely love people having their faiths and beliefs so much. i love people finding that space where they belong and feel safe in. i love people having communities and heritages and connections. i deeply respect and admire opening up that space for faith within any other communities, like... if i’m going to listen to a podcast about scepticism and cults, i am not going to listen to it if it’s just an excuse to bash religion. i think the search for truth needs to be compassionate, always. you can acknowledge that crystals are cool and make people happy AND that multi level marketing schemes are deeply harmful and prey on people in vulnerable situaitons. YOU KNOW???? so now’s when i bring up Apocalypse Comic again. one of the things i really did like about it was, ironically, how it handled religion. in its setting, people have returned to old gods, and their magic drew power from their religion. characters from different regions had different beliefs and sources. in the first arc, they meet the spirit of a lutheran pastor, who ends up helping them with her powers. it was treated as, in the creators own words, ‘just another mythology’. and honestly? i love that. it was one of the nicest depictions i’ve seen of christianity in fiction, and as something that could coexist with other faiths. I Vibe With That. and then, uh, then... bunny dystopia comic. it just... it just straight up tells you christianity is literally the only way to..?? be a good person??? i guess?? i’m still kind of struggling to parse what exactly it wanted to say. the evil social media overlord bird tells you the bible makes you a DANGEROUS FREETHINKER, but the comic also treats rewriting the bible or finding your own way to faith as something,, Bad. The Bible Must Remain Unsullied. Never Criticize The Bible. also, doing good things just for social media clout is bad and selfish. you should do good things so you don’t burn in hell instead. is that the message? it reads a lot like the comic creator already had the idea for the comic, but only got the urge to make it after she was converted and needed to spread the good word. you do you i guess!! i understand that she’s new to this and probably Going Through Something, and this is just a step on her journey. but the absolute self-loathing she described in her afterword... it does not sound good. i’m just some agnostic kid so what do i know, but i do not think that kind of self-flagellating is a kind faith to have for yourself. i might not ever have been properly religious, but you know what i AM familiar with? a brain wired for ocd and intrusive thoughts. for a lot of my life i’ve struggled with my own kind of purity complex. i’ve had this really strange sensitivity for things that felt ‘tainted’. i’ve experienced having to remove more and more words from my vocabulary because they were Bad and i did not want to sully my sentences. it stacked, too - if a word turned out to be an euphemism for something, i could never feel comfortable saying it again. i still struggle a bit with these things, but i have confronted these things within myself. i’ve had to make myself comfortable with imperfection and ‘tainted’ things and accept that these are just, arbitrary categories my mind made up. maybe that’s the reason i can’t do organized religion even if i found one that fit for me - just like diets can trigger disordered eating, i think it would carve some bad brainpaths for me. so yeah i’m worried i guess! i’m worried when people think it’s so good that she finally found the correct faith even if it’s causing all this self-hate. is there really not a better way? or are they just trusting she’ll find it? and yeah it’s none of my concern, it’s like, i worry for jkr too but i do not want her within miles of my trans self thANKS. so like, i DO enjoy media that explores faith and what it means for you. my favourite band is the oh hellos, which DOES draw on faith and the songwriter’s experience with it. because of my religious iliteracy most of it has flown over my head for years and i’m like “oh hey this is gay” and then only later realize it was about god all along Probably. i like what they’ve done with the place. also, stormlight archive - i had NO idea sanderson was mormon, the way he writes his characters, many of whom actively discuss religion and their relationship to it. i love that about the books, honestly. Media That Explores Religion In A Complex And Compassionate Way... we like that i’ve been thinking about my own stories too, and how i might want to explore faith in them. most of my settings are based on magic and it’s like, what role does religion have in a world where gods are real and makes u magic. in sparrow spellcaster’s story, xe creates? summons? an old god - brings them to life out of the idea of them. it’s a story about hubris, mostly. then there’s iphimery, the story where i am actively fleshing out a pantheon. there’s no doubt the gods are real in the fantasy version of iphimery, they are the source of magic and sustain themselves on slivers of humanity in exchange. but in the modern version, where they are mostly forgotten? that’s some room for me to explore, i think. especially the character of timian, who comes from a smaller town and moves to a large and diverse city. in the fantasy story, the guardian deity chooses his sister as a vessel. in the modern setting, that does not happen, and i don’t yet know what does, but i really want timian to be someone who struggles with his identity - his faith, his sexuality, the expectations cast upon him by his hometown... i’m sure it’s a cliché story retold through a million gay characters but i want to do it too okay. i want to see him carve out his own way of existing within the world because i care him and want to see him thrive!!! alrighty i THINK that’s all i wanted to write. thanks if you read all of this, and if you didn’t that’s super cool have a nice day !

[wellthatschaotic]

Anon-of-the-system, if you want to share stuff anonymously on y'all's blog you could open a private tab (so you'll be logged out of tumblr on there) and send an ask to it which will be on anon? (Tho browsers still have an ask character limit. Opening and using submissions is another option.)

xer not here rn but i'll give xem the suggestion! thx! /gen

[srlkiller]

Made a new tumblr that I use more often on a personal level type shit.. I guess kinda like a finsta but the tumblr version? Switching from this one to the new one for writings and the venting ect bc that was never intended to be for this tumblr page anyways... and I’ve all ive been for months it seems on here is just writing n writing or using this blog as a fucking Twitter page smh... I haven’t been present on here at all which made me question what has changed about that.. I used to come on here every night to relax and post pictures and type small lil things and laugh at memes and dumb ass posts but now.. im never ever present and on the rare instances I am present on here.. I deadass just end up either writing huge paragraphs either stressing out or complaining, ranting about negative shit in my life or chronic tweet posting little ass shit like a true dumbass and it makes my page/blog look like a dam mess not to mention.. it shows how unstable and frazzled I am mentally to over 2k people + the ghost followers who stay keeping tabs on me. I absolutely hate that this is what a tumblr I’ve had since i was in the 8th(ish) grade has turned into since it used to be my little happy place and a form of positive escapism from all the bs in my real life... but lately I’ve noticed I have brought all that negative shit straight here which has then kicked in my instinct of avoidance and disconnect. Making this new private tumblr I think I’ve found a way to seperate the two n still keep an on the go online journal to have when I need it and that is important to me bc I really need that mentally so i love that I’m able to do that. I won’t be sharing this new tumblrs url and tbh i don’t see myself doing so in the near future either.. so please don’t ask for it and I hope you can respect where I’m coming from abs understand why I’m doing this - it’s set to private anyways so only i can view it but im very proud of the url name bc a great url name is sooo hard to come by these days... but i got the exact one in the first try! im obsessed w it n i wanna start slowly integrating this new name into some new projects and ventures in the future if possible. But for now tho, the tumblr side of things for it, is 100% set to private n i Intend to keep it that way for my own sanity n mental clarity rn. Thankuuuuuu for reading if u even did.