#using fics and silly scenarios to cope

[cant-think-to-save-my-life]

I don’t think I’ll ever be emotionally, physically, or mentally over JRWI Blood in the Bayou

[chishiyasleftnut]

Hi everyone ＼(٥⁀▽⁀ )／This is another fic I wrote in the middle of the night, but I couldn't get the scenario out of my head haha. It's not smutty at all, but I want to experiment a bit with different genres. I hope you'll all like it! (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

2+1

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 Genre: Fluff w/ mild angst. Warnings: Minor existential dread, mentioning of abortions. Pairing: Dad!Chishiya x fem!reader.

Plot: After a long day at work, dad!Chishiya contemplates about his new role as a father. Is he even cut out for the job?

1140 words. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Chishiya had never seen himself as the father type. Perhaps it was the subconscious fear of becoming like his own father - distant and uncaring - that kept him from wilfully pursuing that path. However, despite his best efforts to prevent it, you had managed to accidentally become pregnant and he had had to come to terms with the scary reality of fatherhood. 

It wasn’t as bad as he thought. Sure, the little creature was awfully noisy and smelly at times, but he had to admit that she was also kinda cute. Did the positives outweigh the negatives? He wasn’t sure. But he knew he didn’t completely hate being a parent as much as he originally feared.

Luckily, Chishiya was earning enough money to secure you a long maternity leave, allowing you to bond well with your baby in a way Chishiya never would. He had accepted that and somewhat found peace with the fact that he wasn’t expected to be as close to the tiny being as you were. It was easier to handle having to accept that he was the secondary caregiver and not the primary.

Another benefit of his job were the long hours, which gave him a much-needed break from dealing with home life. He had always used his work as a coping mechanism to deal with every small, negative thing life threw at him, but it was only after becoming a dad that he realised that that’s what his own father did too. It scared him to admit that he shared more than just blood with the man who had been so distant his entire childhood. However, he tried to shake the feeling and convinced himself that he was taking extra shifts to afford your maternity leave. Mh, yes. That was 100% why.

Despite desperately seeking a sanction from the reality of his newfound status as a dad, a part of him was always looking forward to coming home. And so he did this night, stepping into your shared apartment, which was only lit up by the moon shining luminously through the big and modern windows. The apartment, which long ago had been only sparsely decorated (just as he liked it), was now covered in proof of your child’s existence; no matter where he looked, he saw baby toys, neatly folded onesies, and an array of pacifiers in every colour possible.

Trying his best to ignore the way his once tidy apartment had changed, he walked with tired steps through the apartment until he got to the master bedroom. Slowly, he opened the door, mindful of the way it creaked so as not to disturb you or the little human sleeping safely in her comfortable crib next to your bed.

For a while, he stood still in the doorway, examining the way you and your baby’s breathing were synchronised, as if you had become one with one another. Although he would never admit it, he envied you - envied the way you so easily let this helpless child into your heart and how you so naturally took care of her every need in a way that Chishiya couldn’t make sense of.

It was those quiet moments that assured him that you made the right choice in keeping the child. Of course you had discussed the possibility of getting an abortion, but now that your daughter was in front of you - living, breathing, feeling - neither of you would want it any other way. How silly of you two to even consider any other option, he thought with a small smile creeping up on his lips.

With gentle steps, he walked into the bedroom, carefully closing the door behind him before approaching the bed. Despite how silent he was attempting to be, you regrettably woke up. He hated when he woke you up after a night shift - now more than ever. As a doctor, he was well aware of how desperately a new mother needed rest, and he hated taking that away from you for even a moment.

“Go back to sleep,” he whispered while climbing into bed next to you, still dressed in his hospital scrubs. “It’s just me.”

By instinct, you turned around to examine the small child, unable to fall back to sleep yourself until you had assured her that she was safely asleep. Luckily, she was, her chest rising and falling at just the right speed. He admired your natural dedication to ensuring your offspring’s safety and comfort. It always looked like second nature to you; like you were never, not even when asleep, not aware of how your daughter was doing.

Chishiya moved to embrace you, hugging you from behind and burrowing his face into your neck, taking in your scent. And that’s when he realised that work wasn’t his sanctuary; this was. It wouldn’t be easy for him to rearrange his mindset, but he knew he had to try. While you had never complained, he was well aware of how much being the prime caretaker of a newborn was taking a toll on you. You never got a full night’s rest anymore, surviving on napping throughout the day whenever the baby miraculously fell asleep.

That would have to change, and he knew it. No, he not only knew it; he wanted it to change. He wanted to be a better father and partner than his own dad was, and that started with reducing his work hours.

“I’m taking next week off,” he mumbled into the small hairs on your neck, unsure if you were even awake and listening to him. If he was honest, he wasn’t even sure if the comment was directed at you or if he just needed to say it aloud to believe it himself.

To his surprise, you hummed and scooted even closer to him, gently affirming to him that you were listening. Perhaps tomorrow, when he inevitably has to repeat the very same sentence, he will get a more enthusiastic response.

He could only hope that you were just as excited about the new change as he was. Still, he hoped you were without the deep fear that was echoing through his entire being - the fear of failure, of not being good enough for the sweet, innocent baby that was laying just half a metre away from the two of you.

In the last seconds before he slipped into unconsciousness, Chishiya, for the first time, found peace in his new role as a father, coming to terms with the fear of not being enough for the almost doll-like little girl that lay peacefully so close to him.

After all, very few great things were accomplished without fear and worry, and there was no doubt in his mind that this truly was a great thing. He could and would change. The two of you had turned into three, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

[frozenjokes]

Cubscarian but if they become alter egos...

Sculk!cub would just be those uncles that works in a black Market or something selling sculk and he's like "yuhhh come here and have a bag of sculk.... Yuhh spread th souls and spread the sculk" (worse case scenario it's vex anr just spreading vex magic with scar)

Grian is just WATCHING WATCHING WATCHING

I was going to draw a comic for this but 1) I am having a small wrist flare up and 2) I’m choosing kindness because it would have to be Long and I don’t care so instead you’re getting an elsa approved famous Long Answer 👍

This did make me have ideas. Skulk Cub (and Grian) already happened as skulk sickness is canon to the universe and acts a lot like a very contagious infection. If you’re interested in the specifics you can read Without Thorns where all this is explained, but the jist is this.

however

there have been no vex mentions or anything in any of the fics as it just hasn’t really come up, and given that scar and cub really only met properly when the fics begin, there would be no history. But this could certainly change! You can probably tell by the sheer amount of cubscar on my blog that I Like Convex. Cub and Scar can get a little possessed….. as a treat… me when the bestie and I find funny masks with an odd cryptic engraving above them so the first thing we do is put them on and kiss with tongue and uh oh. we aren’t alone in our bodies anymore! I actually am a huge fan of possession/losing control of your body as an angst thing but none of this would be angst it would be peak Silly because cub and scar are going to walk their asses home with their silly little wings and their silly little masks and their silly little maniacal laughs and scar will say hi Grian! I’ve developed a taste for human flesh! and Grian isn’t going to look up. but then cub and scar are going to start Evil Laughing at fucking nothing and Grian is going to:

wh. hey. wait one fucking second.

Grian had an extremely bad time during the duration of Cub’s skulk sickness. Not only was Cub galavanting across the countryside spreads sickness and generally just disappearing for hours-days at the time, he was super dying, and trying to stop someone who won’t listen to sense who is also super dying from skulk sickness is a bit of a stressful endeavor, really.

he won’t take this well. But as a new man with better coping skills, he is going to march his ass to Mumbo’s apartment and get support from his other friends like a stable and healthy adult 👍 that is. Until Mumbo makes a joke about Grian simply getting back at them by getting possessed himself. Then he gets the brain worms. Then NO ONE can stop him from doing something incredibly stupid! so mycelium, huh? how do we feel about mycelium.

cue two chaos causing maniacs (one of which is a MAJOR problem being that he is hOtgUy) feuding with one incredibly pissy shit stirrer (again, MAJOR ISSUE given that he is a celebrity) duking it out using the city as a playground, and if we’re being honest, probably having the time of their lives.

mumbo probably saves the day somehow. then they all kiss. cumscarian win or whatever.

all of this ends with a mother spore induced gender crisis and Grian starts using she/him pronouns as god fucking intended. happy hermitcrafting!

[tonydaddingham]

(last anon= me, was a bit anxious it might not go over well for some reason- off now bc changing the capitalization was a pain)

i agree on the human aus! love their flexibility, the sorta "yeah, may as well happen" you get clicking on something (with love) completely ridiculous. it's also so much fun to see what people do with crowley's eyes and his relationship to the glasses.

i'm very very early in planning this, but i want a&c to be as close to theirshow characterizations as i can possibly get them (book boys are amazing but i want the drama). i don't know that i'll do a very good job at justifying it with their backstories, but i'm gonna try. (idk. people have different opinions on personality being nature vs nurture. i can claim majority nature if it's more convenient)

i'm thinking here that crowley, personally, would have had to kill somebody or a couple somebodies, in an absolute (it at least appeared so, still does), life or death, them or him scenario (only his life saved). said somebody or somebodies would have attacked first, and out of desperation-- not totally their choice either. i'm assuming for the sake of the fic that he'd be able to do it at all, and then survive a couple decades after, so there's... something.

i just can't figure out exactly how he'd have coped with it, and whether he'd, later, think of it as justified, like how much guilt there would be. don't know what's even plausible.

my biggest problem is that framing him as 100% Good and Pure (and weirdly helpless?) like ppl do sometimes is literally my biggest fear writing this (huge mischaracterization in general). i don't want to go for the exact same indifference as in the show, for reasons you mentioned (and also that level of apathy would fuck up the entire rest of the fic), but not too far in the opposite direction, either.

tysm for the first response and considering a second, this seems a whole lot more solvable- and sorry if it's a lot to ask to go over all this (although your ability to hold a shit ton of information at once and then respond eloquently is impressive asf, looking at like every chain with LWA), i just drew a bit of a blank. also my bad if it's got a little heavy for your blog, just realized looking at the tags 😭

oh @aq-uatic you silly goose!!!✨ im absolutely fine with asks like that, please feel free to sling them my way anytime!!! ultimately tho, that's what the tw was for; just in case it was a bit heavy for someone else, but for me, personally? there's not a lot of themes that i feel uncomfortable discussing, almost all topics are welcome and i'll soon say if they aren't!!!💕

ooooh okay, so a self-defence angle!!! i think that that could be interesting to explore, because - well, you could take it from the perspective that crowley is initially very righteous in defending himself, rightly thinking that he deserved to protect himself, and the use of force was proportionate. he could initially come across as quite dispassionate and apathetic about it, "me vs. them? well of course it was going to be me!", and ultimately not want to address the whole concept of having committed murder because, on face value, it was justified. and maybe he privately doesn't want to examine it bc he's apprehensive about what he'd find?

but then as plot (and character) develops, turns out that because the whole thing was so fast, fuelled by adrenaline and the instinct to survive, crowley ends up... not being able to remember much of it? and as details start to come back, i think that's where the cognitive dissonance element would play - that he then has to reconcile himself as being someone who he feels is morally sound, 'would never harm another human being', a good person... but then is starting to remember his fear in the situation, confronting his own mortality, and what it says about him to be able to take another life with little thought other than his own self-preservation? as well as remember the specific physical details of what happened? the sounds, the smells? looks in the mirror afterwards and sees a different person looking back?

obviously without knowing the full motive of the person attacking him, who they are, what their story is etc.,... i think crowley could end up dealing with it in a way that he accepts that he cannot control others' actions, only his own. that that person chose to put him in the position of having to defend himself, and whilst, yes, that person may have had a family, friends, potential... when he's in a position of ensuring his own survival, he may have actually made the best decision he could have at the time. idk if you're planning to explore the attacker's circumstances in any depth, but if - for example - they were trying to rob him out of their own desperation (e.g. homelessness/austerity, fund addiction, peer pressured/gang context, mental health), maybe crowley would deal with that by exploring charitable work, or good causes, that seek to alleviate that very desperation? and that's how he heals from the experience?

again, hoping this might be some food for thought!!!✨💕 please do link me your fic when you've posted anything, i really admire how you're exploring this concept and it sounds really interesting and promising!!! i'll reiterate that i love getting asks, especially when they explore topics like this; i feel the LWA ones are a little bit of an anomaly, for being really analysis-heavy (which i love, let me clear), but getting to be a bit creative is exciting for me too!!!✨

[belltrigger]

You provide us with so much quality Blankshipping content, so I wanna spice it up a little and ask if there's something YOU would like to see more as content in this fandom. Any sort of fic you'd be dying to read? Stuff you want to see more in fanart? Something you want more headcanons on?

ohhhh gosh. Thanks for the compliment! (❁´◡`❁) I'm just trying to make the tag an enjoyable place for people to be is all.

Stuff I would want to see as content, hm?

I'm always a sucker for them being domestic together. That's probably not too much of a surprise, I bet! Fics, headcanons, and pictures in this sort of theme will never cease to make me happy. I want to know silly things like "What do they eat for a normal, work-day breakfast?" and "do they share basic toiletries, or do they have separate preferences for scents/benefits?" But, domestic can also be "how does Emmet cope with their home being specifically designed for TWO when he's alone?"

Aside from the things that I already indulge in for my own stuff, there are a few things I'd like to see more of.

I'd like to see more of Ingo being the one to propose to Emmet. Put all of his forethought and idealistic thinking towards making it something special for his younger twin!

@glassesblu already knows this, but I love love love buff!Ingo picking Emmet up.

Emmet teasing Ingo until he can't be professional anymore, forced to drag Emmet off somewhere private (Either one can be top in this scenario, btw)

You've heard of battle gremlin Emmet, but what about battle gremlin Ingo? (In the comics, he flat out tells White "you must be ruthless in battle! I'll demonstrate how even the slightest careless mistake could lead to your defeat!" They end in a draw, which Emmet gleefully announces over the broadcast system, and repeats Ingo's 'demonstration' sentence with a 'hey did you know?' just to mess with him.) His trash talk is hidden in 'instruction' for better battling. He wants you to know that *he* knows what you should have done right.

That's what I can think of off the top of my head! Most of all, I just like watching people have a good time, and enjoy themselves!!

[scarlett-vixen]

so I'm starting a new job next week and I'm nervous as fuck because of it. I try not to think about it too much and just try to enjoy these last few days off.

today I literally spend all day in bed, listening to music and reading fics about the obey me boys, because reading about them just comforts me, you know?

but I can't help but feel bad spending so much time reading about fictional characters, even if it helps me feel better.

sorry for venting a bit here. I just had to let put some of my thoughts. I dont really have anyone to talk to about this and your blog seems like a judgment free zone. I hope that's not too weird ^^

Anon my love let me tell you this is 100% a judgement free zone💖 it’s not weird at all!

A new job can be very scary at first so it’s normal to be nervous, I spent 8 years at one job before leaving and even though I hated that job I was still scared to leave and start over. Now I love my job and have made lots of good friends! You’ll settle in eventually and the nerves will go away💖

Also…anon…my beloved, my dear sweet bean…there is absolutely NOTHING wrong in finding comfort in these silly little fictional men!! I guarantee most of my followers and moots use these guys as a way to cope or a comfort thing, you shouldn’t feel bad about it at all💖 I understand what you mean though, sometimes I feel bad about it too but I also remember that it’s my life, I’m an adult, and if I want to create silly little scenarios for silly little guys after working 10 hours then that’s absolutely fine!

I’ll also tell you a secret: sometimes, when life is kicking my butt and I want to give up, I remember that Mammon would be very upset that I was sad and Lucifer would be there to give me a motivational speech and I simply can not disappoint my first man nor do I want a lecture from the old man

In short don’t feel too bad about it, there are worse things you could find comfort in! And good luck at your new job!! I know you’ll do amazing 💖

[acatnamedpusheen]

Hi pretty! Can I request a GOT7 reaction to the reader crying because she is afraid that the boys will break up with her? Thank you 💫

Hello and thank you for your request! I thought I'd make this one a bit different from my previous. I'll have an initial scenario for all 7 of the boys and then each of them will have a different reaction. Ok the Jaebeom one came out so long it could be considered a fic of its own, but he's my ultimate bias and I had a nice idea. 🤭

[GOT7 reaction to you crying thinking that they'll break up with you]

Hate comments, too many of them, too many for you to handle the pressure anymore. The fandom was basically split in half at this point and it only seemed logical for him to break up with you in order to save his career and reputation. You were quietly but anxiously waiting for the moment he'd end your relationship and you both would have to become strangers again.

Jaebeom

"Y/N can you come here for a moment, I need to talk to you" you heard him call from the living room. Your blood instantly turned cold and you froze on your spot in the kitchen were you'd be peeling an apple.

The mere thought of a break up made your eyes watery and due to the pent up anxiety it was impossible for you to hold back the tears. You hesitantly walked to the living room, head down, silently crying.

"Y/N are you ok, what happened?" Jaebeom's voice was full of concern once he had seen you.

"Just say it, I knew it would be coming, so let's get this over with" you didn't have the strength to look at him as more tears rolled down your cheeks.

"Say what? What would be coming? Y/N you're scaring me, what's going on?" he was more confused than ever.

"You're going to break up with me because of all the hate. Your reputation matters the most and it's the only way to calm the fans down." you said between sobs. Was he making it that difficult on purpose?

"Y/N, Y/N! Now hold on there a second. Why would I ever break up with you? Did you really think now that I've finally found the love of my life, I could let her go that easily?" he came closer and wrapped his arms around your sobbing form.

"B-but your career? T-the company?" you raised your head to look at him through teary eyes.

"We're past the dating ban. People who are hating should not consider themselves fans. I'm not letting you go ok?" his reassuring expression helped you to gradually stop sobbing.

"Ok, but then why did you want to talk to me? You sounded serious." you remembered how it all initially started.

"It's about Nora." he let go of you, then continued "She's loosing too much fur and I think she's lost her appetite lately. I think we should take her to the vet, it's not normal." his words had you laughing a bit at first, at how silly you made yourself look, but you were quick to respond.

"I'll take her. I thought it was my idea that she's looking thinner lately." you searched around with your gaze to find her.

"Thank you Y/N. And please don't ever worry about us breaking up." he said before hugging you again.

Mark

He came out of the shower and heard you talking on the phone. What was unusual though was the fact that he could swear you were crying.

"I-I'm simply waiting for him to break up with me. I don't know how I'll be able to cope with it." Mark couldn't believe his ears as he walked closer to your bedroom.

"Y/N what are you saying? Who's going to break up with you? Because it's certainly not me." he didn't care if you were still on the phone he had to interrupt.

Startled, you quickly hung up and tried to wipe your tears. "Aren't you going to break up with me because of all the backlash?" you asked as he came to sit with you on the bed.

"No, of course not. Y/N, I love you more than anything. I can't afford to lose you over the hate of some toxic people." he held your hands in his and looked you in the eyes.

"Y-You're sure?" you were still worried.

"Yes, absolutely. Now call back that friend of yours and tell them that there's no break up happening any time soon." he kissed your cheek while you reached for your cellphone.

Jackson

He was barely through the front door when he saw you crying on the sofa. Once you'd noticed him you tried to wipe away your tears with your sleeve in an attempt to look fine but you couldn't fool anyone. Your red puffy eyes, glistening cheeks and uneven breath all indicated that you'd been crying for a while, since you happened to come across some hate comments.

"Baby what is it? Is everything ok?" he rushed towards you, with a worried expression.

"Just break up with me already. There's too much negativity from the fandom, you should have never dated me in the first place" you choked as more tears rolled down your cheeks.

"Break up with you? Why on earth would I want to do that, Y/N? You're all that matters to me. Negativity won't be enough to tear us apart." he cupped your face with his hands and kissed your temple.

Jinyoung

"What are you doing still in these clothes?" Jinyoung freaked out when he saw you coming out of your bedroom wearing your casual "at home" outfit while he had changed and was ready for the planned dinner with his parents.

"I don't want to go... What's the point? You're going to break up with me sooner or later." your voice broke as you finished your sentence. Tears were rolling down your cheeks, head hung low.

"Break up with you? Y/N if you're getting such ideas because you've been reading netizens' comments..." he stopped and sighed in frustration. "Listen, they are not going to interfere with my personal life, they are not going to make me break up with you." he took steady steps towards you. "I love you Y/N and I see a future with you. That's why I want you to meet my parents." he was inches away from you now as he gently held your hands in his.

Through teary eyes you looked up at him. His sweet smile was the reassurance you needed. "Jinyoung...I love you too, I don't want to lose you!" you cried in his chest while he soothingly stroked your back.

Youngjae

You woke up in the middle of the night after having had a nightmare. Well not everyone would characterize it as a nightmare, but for you it was the one thought that's been troubling you for the past few days: Youngjae breaking up with you.

Sitting up on the bed surrounded by the darkness, you could do nothing but cry, not caring if you'd wake up Youngjae, who was still sleeping right next to you.

It wasn't long, however, before he stirred awake and noticed you crying. "Y/N, what's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?" he sat up rubbing his eyes.

"Please tell me that you're not going to break up with me" you cried as you held your face in your hands.

"Y/N what are you talking about?" he run his fingers through his messy hair, sleepiness still evident in his voice.

"I know the hate has to stop but isn't there another way?" you turned to face him and more sobs shook your body violently.

"Of course there are other ways! The company will take legal action if needed, we will keep a low profile and eventually it will all die down." he placed his soft palm over your cheek. "Now let's go back to sleep and forget about it all, we have each other." he pulled you into his arms as he layed back down under the covers, making you feel safe at last.

BamBam

"Y/N, I've got something important to tell you!" he said excitedly when he came back from practice, but given that you were too anxious about a potential break up and the fact that you didn't see his bright smile because you were in the bathroom washing your hands, the tears came naturally. You were convinced that your relationship with BamBam was just seconds away from ending.

"Y/N are you in here?" he reluctantly approached the bathroom door since you didn't come at once. You tried to compose yourself but the sobs kept coming even harder and BamBam entered unnoticed until you heard him speak again.

"What's wrong Y/N? Do you want to talk about it?" he was more puzzled than worried about your sudden outburst.

"You're going to break up with me, aren't you? That's what you wanted to tell me." ashamed, you looked way from him once you'd finished your sentence.

"Where did that come from?" he was left dumbfounded by your question.

"Because of all the backlash, the hate. It's damaging your image." you still couldn't face him.

He sighed in relief upon hearing you elaborating. "No way I'd break up with you for such reason. And what I was going to tell you is that the company is finally taking legal action against the malicious comments." he lifted your chin and looked into your eyes. "So, stop worrying about all that, I'm here for you and always will be." he said and pecked your lips.

Yugyeom

Your DMs were flooding with messages from fans and you were currently in the process of deleting them, sat right across from Yugyeom in his studio. Randomly you chose to open some first, but it became too toxic as 9/10 were just hateful. The fandom was demanding you break up with Yugyeom and leave him alone because you didn't deserve him.

"Am I really not enough for you? Are you going to break up with me?" you glanced at him with tears welling in the corners of your eyes.

"What's gotten into you, Y/N? Why would you ever think you're not enough for me?" he got up and came to kneel in front of you, moving a strand of hair away from your face.

"Maybe they're right, you should find someone better than me." the tears were running freely down your cheeks.

"Hey, hey! Look at me." his bright big eyes were fixed on yours. "Don't ever doubt yourself and my feelings towards you because of some toxic people. You are the one for me and I'm the one for you, we both know that." he wiped a tear with his thumb, then pecked your cheek. "Ignore those messages, they're no good. Instead, let me put on a song I've been working on and tell me how you like it!" he grinned at you before getting back to his console.

[spockandawe]

BingYuan~

Ooh, interesting! I’m guessing this is distinct from bingqiu, since I already tackled that one. I assume it uses non-transmigration shen yuan? So I can tell you that the biggest downside is that I’ve put very minimal thought into this ship before now, but let’s see what we get!

Downsides: 

My lack of interest in this ship is... a lot drive by the fact that I’m rarely looking for an opportunity to have less fantasy in my stories, and most bingyuan I’ve seen takes place in a modern setting :X 

It’s not a dealbreaker, and like, for example Iove the yi city coffee shop au, but fantasy-story-with-less-fantasy is almost never something I will seek out, it’s something I have to be persuaded into trying. I do love the silly, questionably-constructed universe of PIDW, especially with the conceit that it was constructed by Shang Qinghua, which I can identify with as an author who is sometimes forced into worldbuilding. The modern world? I live there, I don’t dislike it, but it’s a very familiar environment, while ancient fantasy china is very novel to me.

And honestly, I get much less invested in binghe and shen qingqiu/shen yuan without that ‘oh boy, my teacher who i want to please more than anything stopped hating me and started loving me instead.’ Binghe’s damage and the way that his damage affects the way he interacts with the people in my life is one of my favorite, FAVORITE parts of svsss, and dropping a shen yuan into his life after those formative childhood years... it’s just not going to have the same OOMPH as the canon body stealing situation.

Upsides: 

Now, you can get some really fascinating aus working with this situation, ones that had plain never occurred to me until someone presented it as a bingyuan scenario. Portal fantasies for binghe to show up in the modern world are fine, but don’t grip me as much of some of the more inventive ones. Two specific fics that pop out off the top of my head are feynite’s homemaker au one-shot (binghe exists in the modern world.... as well as his extended demon family, which interferes with his desire to be a nice quiet house husband), and pandaflower’s great and terrible oz series (binghe has been ruling the world for a very time, and is not terribly.... balanced, then shen yuan is born into the world, and binghe thinks he recognizes his old shizun reincarnated)

Those are both wild! I never would have thought of them myself, because honestly, aus are not typically my forte, but they are delicious. WIth the feynite one-shot, you get a bingyuan dynamic with a very bingmei flavor to it, and in the pandaflower series, binghe is very bingge, and it’s delicious and tense. Not having shen yuan as a fish out of water trying to integrate himself into a new place does take away some things that I like a lot about the original canon, but it introduces some really lovely new character dynamics to play with, and gives you a lot of room to explore.

And... oh........

Anon, I may have accidentally lied to you.

‘I’ve put very minimal thought into this ship’, I type, as I alt+tab over to my writing window, where I returned to working on (one of) my bingyuan wip(s) this morning.

Okay, yeah, I’ve got... 3.5 bingyuan aus (in one of them it’s not a good situation, but his original marriage was with a bingge, which went..... badly). Now, most of these are aus-of-aus situations, and explaining them is probably more words than I want to put into this ask meme, but like..... ‘I’ve put very minimal thought into this ship’ jfc

My main priority in these is that I love shen jiu, deeply, despite his many, many flaws, and his death breaks my heart. First au! Qijiu is a thing, Shen Yuan shows up mysteriously, lost and sick, dressed in modern clothing, and looking very much like Xiao Jiu as a child. He’s adopted into their family despite Strong protests from Shen Jiu, and then Shen Jiu gets attached. Second au! Binghe (bingge lite) is working on building his harem, and one of his new husbands is a certain Sha Yuan, who transmigrated into Sha Hualing’s younger brother at a very young age and basically (re)grew up in the PIDW world. 2.5th au! Binghe (true bingge) married Sha Yuan, things were.... Not Good, and anyways, Bingge died(?), the harem fell apart, and now Sha Yuan is kind of on the run with Mobei-jun and..... Xue Yang. I swear it makes sense, but what if i... don’t explain.

And, final au, what if Liu Mingyan and Liu Qingge were swapped, and she grows up to be the Bai Zhan Peak Lord and Shen Jiu copes less badly with her than her brother because [men] are a lowkey trigger for him, doesn’t spitefully recruit Luo Binghe to Qing Jing Peak, and little Liu Qingge drags Luo Binghe off to go train with his sister. Then........ also Shen Yuan as Shen Qingqiu’s little mini-me protege. All of these are technically bingliuyuan aus (except the 2.5th one) because I love Liu Qingge and can’t stand to see him sad or heartbroken, but yes, apparently I have spent a lot of time thinking about bingyuan and love it very much :V

[fangirl-on-bitches]

Bittersweet

Javier Peña x Female!Reader.

Word Count: 4k approximately.

Summary: You and Javier have a particular way of saying goodbye, so particular you get a surprise when you get back to the US.

Warning: a lot of cursing, a bit of pregnancy shenanigans, a lot of dialogue and a little messy plot and timelines lol.

A/N: Okay, listen before you continue. When I was younger I used to write, maybe not with the best grammar or the best plot, but sure as hell with a lot of creativity. Now I just can’t be that creative to write a complete fic or hc, so if you find this boring or a waste of time I’m really sorry. If you like this, I appreciate it as I really made an effort to finish it (a crapy ending anyways). I’ll be sincere, I had this idea and couldn’t get it out of my head so I wrote it. I feel like the scenarios aren’t realistic to what could happen in real life (I feel like they are forced or way too dramatic) I really hope I don’t waste your time. (and yes, I chose the name in honor of Pedro’s role in triple frontier)

-----------------------------------------------------------

You were cursed. Definitely.

You were back in the states, had been for a few weeks, enjoying the warmest sun Miami had to offer along with Connie. You loved relaxing by a peaceful beach after years of chasing after Escobar with your life on the line every hour of every day.

That day you were really excited to wake up and meet Connie to go to the beach, it had been so long since you saw her and little Olivia. You felt at the same time a little uncomfortable with your body that day, bloated and kind of heavy, like there was extra gravity, but the excitement overwhelmed whatever other feeling you might be having.

The beach had some people because it was a nice day, so you lounged along Connie and baby Olivia, eating fried fish with chips as it was beach food. You were laughing at something Connie said about Steve, something about being a pain in the ass, which you agreed with. It was all fun and games until you felt horrible nausea and a pushing need to vomit. Connie, being observant noticed immediately.

“What’s wrong?” before you could answer you ran to the restaurant’s bathroom, puking whatever food you had that day. Connie came close behind you. She gave you a paper towel so you could wipe your mouth.

“Okay, I might be sick.” you admitted flushing the toilet.

Of course, your mood just plummeted to the ground when you were sitting in a private room in the hospital. Connie couldn’t check you, but she was looking for her friend on-call, meanwhile, you looked as baby Liv (as you called Olivia) slept peacefully by your side.

You didn’t like hospitals. They reminded you of your time in Colombia, and although you weren’t shot, your compañeros might have been shot multiple times. There had been too many close calls and so many lives lost, you just got the creeps whenever you heard a gurney moving.

Soon, Connie came back and carried Olivia outside, leaving you with her friend. She presented herself, and asked routine questions. How are you feeling? What happened? Does something hurt? Is your period late? Did you fall and hit your head? Do you have any diseases? Or do you take any medication?

“I do have nausea and I threw up after eating.” She nodded as she took your blood pressure. Then you started thinking. You were thinking really hard.

Your period was late, you didn’t remember how late, but it was late. Two months ago, Steve and you caught Escobar. Steve went straight back home and you had to stay, to finish completing paperwork. Then Javier was back in Colombia to follow the Cali Cartel, but you were assigned back to Miami and couldn’t stay.

To be fair, you were glad to be back home, but you really missed Javier. When shit went down with Los Pepes you were pissed off at Javier. You knew he usually overstepped the line to get intel, but this time he had stepped so far off the line, he wouldn’t be able to see the line.

The night before he left you decided you would drink your consciousness off because you hated to even think that Javier Peña was living in Colombia; after a glass of a really strong Rum and Cola you decided against it and knocked on Javier’s door.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, suggesting that he wasn’t up to listening to more of your nagging. Your head had a million thoughts racing, you wanted to tell him so many things varying from ‘you are an idiot’ to ‘why the fuck did you do this?’ but the only thing you articulate was something like ‘I don’t want you to go’

Javier’s face softened, although you cast down eyes couldn’t actually look at his face, he had stepped aside and invited you inside. “Do you want something to drink?” you shook your head, looking around the apartment. It was almost empty, but it has been pretty empty since the beginning. You sat on the floor, Javier following with a beer in his hand.

“Will you come back?” you asked him, but you already knew the answer.

“I don’t think so, it depends on the higher ups in the states” you nodded, looking at him. You were really going to miss him. “Look, it’s not like we won’t see each other anymore, when you guys catch Escobar-” you laughed humorlessly. How long would that be? Months, another year perhaps? 

Both of you stayed in silence for a while. “I should go.” you told him, standing up, he stood up as well.

“You shouldn’t go.” He told you, squeezing your shoulder tenderly, a familiar touch. You looked at his sweet dark brown eyes, a silly small smile playing on the corners of your lips.

“What do you mean? You have a plane to catch tomorrow.” you remind him, wondering if he was drunk, he clearly wasn’t. His hand, which was still on your shoulder, moved to cup your face. For a second, you were lost and didn’t understand what was happening, until you looked at his eyes again and understood. You didn’t wait for him to lean down, you just wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him.

You would lie if you have never felt curious as to why every informant in Colombia gave Javier the intel he wanted. After that night you understood why. He was passionate, attentive and a really generous lover. You might have even believed him if he had blurted out an ‘I love you’.

The only reason why you let this happen was because Javier was supposed to stay in the US, officially he wasn’t your (or Steve’s) compañero anymore. And that was true, even when he came back.

“Okay, so your results are in. After you told me you’ve been missing your period for quite a while, I drew some blood to analyze it.”

“Yeah, it must be stress. You know, I worked in Colombia with Connie’s husband and moving back here plus all the work I have to do was really stressful. Also, I had a UTI back in Colombia, I wasn’t drinking enough water and I read that the strain might move my period a little.” you started rambling. For some reason, you felt jittery, almost anxious at the look on the Doctor’s face. She had a grin in her face, really big and excited.

“That may delay your period for two weeks, but it won't magically make it disappear, dear.” She read the results once more and nodded to herself. “As I suspected, you are pregnant.”

“W-w-what?” you mumbled. “But I didn’t pee on the stick.” clearly, your brain had short-circuited.

“I have some pregnancy tests if you wish to take them yourself, but the blood analysis is pretty accurate.” she offered with a nice smile. You nodded and took the box going to the bathroom, trying to focus on reading the instructions.

The stick said you were pregnant. And you knew exactly who was the father.

You sighed at the papers you were reading, the office already empty, way past dinner time. Since catching Escobar, hours were cut short, but to you they were really slow. Steve wasn’t there, he had left a few weeks ago, Javier obviously wasn’t there. It was just you, some files and occasionally some booze to help you relax before sleeping. Thankfully, you would be leaving shortly.

On your way back to the apartment complex you stopped by a grocery store. You needed ice cream, and lots of chocolate, and some chips. Probably some booze too. You had bought a flask of whisky that reminded you of Javier, although whisky might not be your first choice of booze.

That same flask almost fell to the ground when you saw goddam Javier Peña entering his apartment, a big suitcase by his side.

He also noticed you, the dark bags under your eyes and messy hair evidence of your hard work. 

“Oh my god” you whispered, unbelieving. You walked and hugged him, relieved to see him again. “You are back?” you stupidly asked.

“Yeah, they want my intel and help to track down the Cali Cartel.” he answered.

“Well, that’s weird.”

“What?”

“My orders are to finish paperwork and return to Miami. They didn’t tell me to stay to help.”

“Well, it’s a different operation this time, more discreet.” he tried to hint you that it wasn’t just DEA business anymore, it was more a CIA kind of work. You invited him to your apartment, that had two boxes of things you were going to give to charity, you didn’t need all this stuff back home, you already had them.

He explained his situation while you shared the flask of whisky and bid good night like the old times, no kisses or sex, or nothing like that. Which was fine.

Everything was fine for the next few days. Javier even helped you pack your stuff and sort it out. The night before returning home he offered to go to the bar you always went to with Steve and him on Friday’s or Saturday’s (sometimes even a Monday)

Both of you drank like you always had, but instead of bidding goodnight and going to bed separately, you both had sex. Again. It was probably a coping mechanism, the way both of you said goodbye to each other. Such a complicated method.

So, so complex that now you were pregnant.

With a child.

Javier's child.

It had to be his, you only had sex with him within the last 3 months. Since Colombia you hadn’t have sex.

This was bad. It was complicated. You didn’t plan for a child; working at the DEA (chasing after Escobar) left you almost no time to think about dating, much more less building a fucking family. 

Could you do this? Hell yeah, you are an awesome strong woman.

What you couldn’t do was tell Javier.

When you came out the private room, you were fidgeting with your hands, Connie came and took them. “I’m pregnant.” you blurted out. Connie looked at you shocked; then you noticed little baby Olivia wasn’t on her arms.

Steve, in all his blonde mustache glory stood with his daughter on his arms, looking as shocked as Connie. “What?” he asked.

“Who is the father?” Connie inquired.

“What are you doing here?” You asked Steve.

“I came to pick up my wife and daughter for dinner. Why don’t you come with us and tell us more about this?” You nodded out of inertia, but you looked at your hands while walking, Connie hooking her arm with one of yours.

As you sat on traffic, you tentatively touched your belly. It was... normal. No kicking, no large or really hard belly. It was like there was nothing there.

You would have declined dinner if you knew the questionnaire that would come from the Murphy’s. Well, questionnaire would be an exaggeration, but you didn’t really like the single question they were asking.

“Who’s the father?” 

“I- I can’t tell you.”

“Why? We don’t know him?” you sighed and reassigned. You knew they would ask forever.

“Please, please, please you have to promise me you won’t tell anybody. Both of you.” you looked pointedly at Steve. He nodded but held your gaze, trying to figure out what you were really trying to say. A second later he muttered something.

“Jesus fucking christ.”

“What?” Connie asked but soon realized. “Oh, no way. Javier?”

“It’s Javier.” you confirm their suspicions.

“Are you certain?” Connie asked.

“Of course.” you paused and then added. “You can’t tell him Steve.”

“What? Why?” he sounded slightly offended.

“I should tell him first. He should hear it from me.”

“I can’t believe this. The minute I come back home you two just pound at each other.”

“It wasn’t like that, and technically you were still in Colombia the first time.”

“The first time?” he asked with a chuckle, he looked very happy.

“The second time I was the one leaving!” you paused, moving the food around your plate. “How the fuck am I going to tell him? I can’t just call him and be like, ‘hey I’m pregnant and you are the father. How’s the Cali stuff going?’. This kind of news aren’t told over a call.”

“But it’s different, it’s not a normal situation. Javier could be in Colombia for years.” Steve reminded you.

“It wouldn’t make a difference. He can’t come back until his work is done.” You rolled your eyes, there was no good alternative.

“So you plan to just hide this from him?” Connie asked, her look full of pity, if it was for you or Javier, you didn't know.

“Only until I know he’s coming back. I’ll check on him every once in a while. I’ll need you to call him too, Steve. I don’t want him to suspect me.” He sighed but nodded nonetheless. You sighed as well, a million thoughts racing through your head.

You called Javier that same week. Of course, it was unexpected for him but really welcome. Colombia was not rainbows and sunshine. “So how’s the Cartel treating you?”

“It’s a fucking nightmare, but hopefully it won’t take long. I can't talk too much over the phone about this, who knows who might be listening.” he sighed, sounding really 

“Yeah, you are right.” for a minute, you thought about telling him. Then you decided. “Please take care and be careful.”

“Of course compañera.” he assured, you could practically hear the smirk in his lips. After ending the call, you pressed the heels of your palms in your eyes. How in the world were you going to tell him?

–––––– 

A month turned into two, and then five months flew by in the blink of an eye. Javier was not coming back for the time being and your belly was starting to pop. Your head was still working on how in the world were you going to tell Javier, which was the only problem you had right now. It wasn’t even a big problem, if Javier wanted an out of fatherhood he was free to go, but you had been so happy since day two (day one was a full shock) that you honestly didn’t care.

You were getting way too ahead of yourself. Maybe Javi wanted to be a father and he would be really happy with the little baby. But that wasn’t the Javier you knew, and that’s why you were so afraid to tell him. 

Today looked like the best day to tell him. You were going to probably get to know if the little baby was a girl or a boy. You were waiting patiently for him to pick up the call in the hospital public phone. After a while, he picked up.

“Hello?” his voice sounded gruff and stressed.

“Hi, compañero. How are you?” you asked, a hand on your belly.

“As fine as I can be here,” he answered. “What did you want?” he asked abruptly, almost tired of talking to you. It stinged a little.

“I just called to check in…” you lied, maybe it wasn’t the best time to tell him after all.

“I’m going to be as clear as I can. Don’t call me, unless you are fucking dying.” you felt a piercing pain in your throat, a tight knot forming, making it really difficult to talk.

“Fine.” you hissed and hanged the phone, tears slipping down your cheeks. Fucking hormones. Fucking Javier. 

Connie, who was waiting for you anxiously to come back, hugged you. “It’s okay sweetie, it’s okay.” you nodded and wiped your tears.

“I’m okay. I just need to focus on my baby and myself right now.” you told her and rubbed your belly.

“Of course honey.”

––––––– 

It had been a really smooth and sweet pregnancy, you were really happy with your 5th month old baby boy Francisco. He was really sweet, but he had so, so much of his father, the resemblance was uncanny. Deep brown sweet eyes, and a mop of soft brown hair.

Javier had not called you since that horrible last call. You knew he called Steve every once in a while, but you asked Steve please not to tell you anything about him. Both Murphy’s just assumed you had told Javier about the pregnancy and that he had not taken it well.

This was a lie. Javier had no idea you were pregnant, much more less with his child. But he was still in Colombia, so unless you told him he would not hear it from anyone. 

It hurted you deeply, not being able to tell your son who his father was. However, all around your house there were pictures of Steve, Javi and yourself from Colombia. Connie and Olivia were there too, even Carillo. 

Anyways, the baby was too young to notice the absence of his father. Maybe by the time Francisco starts wondering about daddy, Javier would be around the USA to talk.

Your son cooed and asked to be held up, it was time for his nap. Just in time, you thought, Steve was coming over to pick him up as you were going to meet your best friend in an hour or so. Your baby boy soon fell asleep, you held him in against your chest, rocking him gently.

Then the doorbell rang.

“Steve, you are early. Fran just fell asleep.” you told Steve. But it wasn’t Steve. Javier fucking Peña stood in the door way, his eyes looking at your son. You frowned and tried to hide Francisco’s face sneakily from him. “What are you doing here?”

“Hello to you too, compañera.” he said, but his mind was not entirely focused on whatever he was saying. His mind was in the baby, and about how quickly you had moved on.

“Don’t compañera me.” you hissed, in a hushed tone, the baby in your arms sleeping soundly. “Come in.” you told him, as you turned around to leave your baby on his cradle. 

Javier looked around, looking for any sign of the baby’s father. But he only found pictures of you, Steve, Connie, baby Olivia and other people he knew. Then he started thinking, what if the baby was his child?

No, that’s not possible. 

“So?” you asked, really anxious. You had no idea he would be here. You were not prepared for this. But really, would you ever be prepared?

“I came to apologize.” Javier simply said, his hands on his hips.

“Took you a little long.” you said, rubbing your hands together. “If you apologized sooner I could have…”

“Could have what?” you exhaled and sighed, trying not to cry. 

“You are not supposed to be here.” you whisper, your voice cracking softly as you sit on your sofa. Javier sat by your side and you felt the weight of your decisions constrict your chest, making it harder to breath.

You were a horrible, horrible person. How could you deny him knowing he was a father? That he had a child? It didn’t matter how angry you felt, or how much of an asshole he had been. The baby was made by both of you. He had the right to know.

“I’m sorry.” he was not sure why, but he really was sorry. You shook your head, and started to tell him that you were sorry, repeating like a prayer. “Hey, hey” he tried to calm you down, rubbing his hands up and down your back. “Breath, baby. Breath.” you complied, breathing deeply. After a minute of silence you took his rough big hand and held it, squeezing it slightly.

“Javier, I got news for you.” you started, and felt his hand tense. “The baby boy, Francisco, he’s your son, our son.” He looked at you, his eyes wide, looking like a deer in the headlights. “That time I called you, I was pregnant, and I wanted to tell you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me after?”

“You told me not to call you unless I was fucking dying.” you exhaled and stood up. “Look you don’t have to be involved if you don’t want to, I had Francisco because I wanted to, but I didn't expect anything from you.”

“Not getting involved? What are you talking about?” he asked offended.

“I’m sorry, and I mean no offense, but you don't strike as the kind of guy who would want a family, or children.”

“And what the fuck do you know?” he raised his voice a little, making you cringe a little.

“I’m sorry, and I can’t do anything to return back time.” you told him sincerely. A loud whine was heard from your room, where the crib was. You sighed and went to your room, to calm Francisco down. Unbeknownst to you, Javier followed you looking how you delicately held him and rocked him. The baby’s eyes were still closed, he was just a little disturbed.

You looked at the door frame, Javier stood there, looking at the child. You walked to him, your intentions clear. “Do you want to hold him?” you asked your voice soft and soothing. Javier gulped, feeling suddenly nervous, he didn’t know how to hold a baby, what if he dropped him? “Don’t worry, I’ll help.” you offered, a kind smile in your face.

Javier extended his arms and you walked closer, softly passing your son to Javier’s big arms. Francisco whined a little and Javier’s face cringed, making you smile. “Hold him against you,” you helped, gently pushing his arms, closer to his chest. Francisco was fast asleep again. Javier just looked at him, marveled. You guide him to the sofa, making him sit there with your son. “I’ll be right back.” you tell him, and at the panicked face he made, you had to quiet your laugh. “You’ll be fine.”

You called your best friend, telling her you wouldn’t be able to meet her. When you stepped back on the living room, someone knocked on the door, it must be Steve. You opened the door and gestured to him to be quiet, pointing at the couch, were Javi sat (finally) relaxed.

Steve did not enter the house as you promised to call later. You returned to the living room and sat beside them, contemplating how peaceful they looked. Javier had moved your son, laying him against his broad chest. You caressed the baby’s hair, looking at him with doe eyes.

“Want to stay for dinner?” you asked standing up. Javier nodded and then lay his head on the back of the couch, closing his eyes. You smiled and entered your bedroom to change your clothes into something more comfortable.

You had nothing figured out, but you were happy knowing your son had a loving father to grow up with. You’ll figure your relationship out (if there was going to be one).

After some minutes, you heard some gurgles coming from the living room. Javi fell asleep, and Francisco was wide awake, looking at his father curiously, moving his little hands. You took the baby from him, kissing his chubby face. “Your daddy is sleeping, baby. C’mon, let’s give you some mashed banana.” you told him, caressing Javier’s hair back.

You spent some long 20 minutes feeding and nursing your baby boy while you also checked dinner. Javier, still fast asleep on the couch, woke up with a start, touching his chest, as if missing something. “Where’s the baby?” he asked, looking around.

“He’s here, Javier.” you told him from the kitchen, a silly smile on your face. Javier sat by the table, feeling self conscious at the baby’s gaze over him. His son’s arms moved up and down, talking unintelligible gibberish. “He likes you.” you commented, cleaning his chubby face. Javier held his hand out and Francisco took one of his fingers, squeezing with his baby strength. Javi’s heart skipped a beat.

Eating together was really weird, but at the same time it felt right. You noticed Javier’s tired face and wondered if he came straight from the airport. So you asked, sparking some conversation. You talked about what finally happened with the Cali Cartel.

“You got a place to stay?” you asked, but you knew the answer. “You can stay here if you want. Hotel’s are really expensive right now.”

“You sure?” you nodded. You forgot how well you clicked with Javier, it was a nice reminder.

He helped you with the dishes, and then went to shower, getting his suitcase for clean clothes. You prepared Francisco for bed, giving him his formula bottle after changing his diapers.

You saw Javier getting out of the bathroom, and thankfully had the decency to wear full pajamas, you would have fainted at the view of his bare chest.

“So, I’ll go to the couch, do you have a blanket?”

“What are you talking about?” you asked. “I was going to tell you to sleep in the bed with me. We already shared a bed before, so I don’t see a problem. Plus, I could use the help if Francisco wakes up.” you commented with a cocky smirk. You usually wore just a t-shirt to bed, but today you had to use full pajamas, like Javi did.

“Okay.” Javier said, not really convinced. Francisco was asleep already, his father caressed his little hand with his finger. You were already under the covers, ready to hit the bed, Javier looked tired too.

He laid down, under the covers as well, looking at the ceiling. He moved looking at you, you were both face to face, generous space between both of you. “I’m sorry.” You shook your head, and took his hands on yours.

“Sleep Javi, you look tired.” you kissed the back of his hands and closed your eyes, sleep getting the best of you. Javi smiled, his face soft, getting a little closer, leaving his hand on yours, then he shut his eyes. He had never felt more at home. 

[ferusaurelius]

Day Eighteen

For @the-wip-project #100DaysOfWriting Challenge

Prompt: What ideas came to you recently from daydreaming?

Well. Ideas? But not exactly the ideas you’d expect.

My day job occupies most of my thoughts, and since I’m (likely) on the spectrum, I’ve learned to cope by using my tendency to hyperfixate to tackle my professional challenges on multiple simultaneous channels.

As an undergraduate in English, this tendency to default to multi-channel processing turned into eerily connected essays with unlikely juxtapositions as a source of meaning. It’s heavily artistic. I enjoy the process, but it’s not efficient? I had to learn over the years to document the whole thing or risk being unable to describe the path I’d taken to a particular conclusion.

Writing papers was fun.

From a practical standpoint, I actually rely on a continuously-updating web of  contextual linkages to determine what is important in solving a problem. 

The more a theme is repeated or reinforced, the more it registers to me as an essential or significant component of any proposed answer. The less something is repeated, the less its context is linked to another.

Yeah I know - It’s a miracle I can function at all.

Daydreaming, for me, is a helpful organizational technique in deciding which angle to pursue and in what order. It’s a nice opportunity to do some intuitive sorting without looking too closely at any one idea. It feels unforced.

My outlining method is heavily based on daydreaming! 

I like to scratch out little character conversations and dialogues and see where they go. It helps me rapidly explore plot ideas and events without committing to them too heavily up front.

Most of ‘This will have no bearing on your evaluation.’ was the result of a passing daydream where my brain went ‘Wouldn’t it be funny if--’. 

And then spun out a(n) (un)likely scenario where Nihlus accidentally tried to pick up his Spectre mentor in a bar.

Sorta by request and encouragement, and the sheer ‘voice-y-ness’ of the character renditions in that fic, I’ve been daydreaming more about what the relative training experience would be like post-induction ceremony. 

Nihlus’s exasperation at the end of the original fic/vignette is real!

Part of me wants to find out what happened there and listen to him complain some more. Silly snarky Nihlus trying to recover his professionalism.

It doesn’t help that Saren is genuinely funny in a way that only Nihlus seems to catch...

Nihlus in the background on repeat like ‘stay professional.’ 

While internally losing his shit and trying very hard not to let his running mental commentary become an external liability. 

[bangtanxm]

Bookclub; April Highlight

This month’s theme is “Fluff, Fluffier, Bangtan!” asking for our bookclub members to find the most fluffiest stories to recommend for this month. These are our our monthly fanfic recommendations from our bangtanxm; bookclub!

In the following you find a list of fics we recommend and reviewed this month. Please support these amazing authors! Happy Reading!

PS. Next month will be a ‘break’. We will be back with a new concept for the bookclub! Please watch out for the official announcement!

BOOKCLUB; recommendations

HOME written by @cassiavioletblue & @softjeon

» Series; Namjoon x Yoongi (Platonic) » Summary; Namjoon watched Yoongi strutting after him over his shoulder and sighed. He couldn’t believe he’s really done it; paying too much money for a hybrid that would bite him if given the chance when all he had wanted was a cute, little - very much harmless - kitten to begin with. » Disclaimer; anxiety, insomnia

bookclub; review

“Ahhh, so cute. I love the idea of Yoongi as a fox, such a perfectly fitting hybrid choice for him. His fear and insecurities really showed through in a realistic way, but were dealt with so sweetly by Namjoon (and vice versa once they warmed up to one another). I really loved Jungkook’s character as well, always the bunny boy; such a sweet soul who’s just happy for friends. It’s so true to his personality as we know him. And the ending was perfect. I was so scared it was going to end bittersweet in some way, but it was just adorable with him trying to be all cute and sneaky coming back into the home. Loved it.”

“if you want a fic that makes you cry because it is so soft, then this is the one to go to! my heart still hurts so much until this day! what an amazing story!”

UNEXPECTED COMPANY written by @yoongified

» One-Shot; Yoongi x Jungkook (Platonic) » Summary; In which Yoongi is terribly afraid of spiders. Luckily, Jungkook isn’t. » Disclaimer; spiders 

bookclub; review

“the sweetest cutest little fic ever; i literally want to know more about how little kook saves his hyung! it was so sweetly written and their relationship is very clear which although it's just a little short fluff makes it a deeper story”

“AAAAHHHH! I've been seeing this fic everywhere and I know I've reblogged it once or twice and I finally got the chance to read it! I definitely relate to Yoongi with the spider, even reading it made my skin CRAWL I wish I had Jungkook to take care stuff like that for me OOF this was so adorably written I love it when writers show Yoongis softer side in stories I just burst so many uwus this was very well done!” [flowerwrites06]

THE GARDEN WALL written by @chimknj​

>>One-Shot; Namjoon x Fairy!Jimin >>Summary; The window in the garden wall has been boarded up forever, but tonight a dull, violet light pulses in the cracks.. >>Disclaimer; None

bookclub; review

“The Garden Wall is a short and sweet prompt-inspired fic perfect for lovers of whimsy, gardens, flowers, fairies, Kim Namjoon, Park Jimin, or all of the above. It is an enchanting glimpse into a land ripe with possibilities for expansion. The beautifully crafted imagery transports you into Namjoon’s world and his chance encounter with the fae leaves you wishing that you, too, can journey beyond the wall.” @ourownwings 

"You really need a certain amount of talent to be able to sketch and colour a world in less than 1k words and Gina definitely did exactly that! In a small piece I could already see the world before my eyes and it leaves me wanting more and more. Also fairy Jimin is a downright CLASSIC THAT TROPE SHOULD NEVER DIE fjfgfjgjn a really good piece!!” [flowerwrites06]

“Gina has an amazing way of telling a story and filling up a whole scenario within just a couple of words. A sweet drabble for a sweet afternoon, when you enjoy your cup of tea.”

KISS ME QUIETLY written by @cassiavioletblue & @softjeon

» Series; Yoongi x Jungkook » Summary; Yoongi always said what was on his mind, while Jungkook was shy, fearful and just like a wallflower he was quickly overseen. Yoongi wore leather jackets, had tattoos while Jungkook wore soft, baby blue sweaters with sleeves that were way too long. Yoongi was everything he wasn’t. Not that he cared, but men like Yoongi didn’t care about boys like Jungkook. That’s just how it always been like until… » Disclaimer; mentioning of alcohol, selective mutism, tooth rotting fluff

bookclub; review

“This fic was such tooth rotting fluff, my goodness. And such an interesting premise, I can’t even begin. I feel like it really was written in a good, kind way so that those with things like selective mutism and the like wouldn’t be offended. Yoongi was so beautifully kind and tolerant, going out of his way to make sure Jungkook felt welcomed and safe even though he ‘couldn’t’ talk. And of course the twinge of angst made their makeup and happy ending so much more special. Such a perfect fic.”

“THIS IS IT! THIS WAS IT! THIS WILL FOREVER BE IT. I just want to know more. What’s their first date going to be like? Will they find a way to communicate without words whenever Jungkook gets to shy? Will their love truly conquer? ahhhhhh this was the sweetest!”

“This is the perfect fluff fic!”

“Im absolutely in awe at how sweet and lovely this fic was! I don't think I've felt this soft in a while and I couldn't help getting so invested in Yoongi and Kookie's relationship. It's like the perfect "opposite attract" and the bluntness vs. the shyness just worked so well!”

SWEETER THAN SWEET written by @yoongified

» Series; Yoongi x Hoseok » Summary; In his second year, Hoseok discovers dance, befriends Jungkook and his silly friends — and makes the mistake of falling head over heels for Park Jimin’s boyfriend. » Disclaimer; mentions of smut, implied smut, alcohol, swearing, toxic relationships (from the past)

bookclub; review

“This is such a promising start to this fic. Though a wip, the author really was able to capture Hoseok as a character - his insecurities and worries, as well as giving the readers just enough information to really be intrigued about him and his backstory. The other characters are great as well, endearing, sweet, and a little infuriating, and each one really fits bts as we know them in a way - Namjoon’s attention to work and Jin’s and Jungkook’s friendliness, etc. An excellent start and I’m quite curious where the rest of the fic will go!”

“I’M HOOKED! Hoseok is such a different character that here from what I’m used to read. I already love it a lot and I can’t wait to see what’s upcoming and how he will cope with falling in love with Yoongi.”

WOLFSBANE written by @cassiavioletblue & @softjeon

» Series; Wolf!Yoongi x Wolf!Jungkook » Summary; For a a few short hopeful minutes he thought that maybe he could just have Jungkook here at his place for a little while longer, maybe it would take the others a few days to find him, maybe they were busy with something else - but he was fooling himself, he knew that and when he could hear the sound of paws drumming on earth he knew that this little adventure of Jungkook’s was already over. » Disclaimer; mention of violence, light graphic content, smut

bookclub; review

“Such a great story. Really a spectacular mix of both angst and fluff, with the ups and downs of a truly well written piece. The emotional shifts and growth with all of the characters, not just Jungkook and Yoongi, were excellently played and so moving. And of course the end, the happy satisfaction that Yoongi was finally happy, Jungkook found his home, and that things may begin to change for the better. I loved the other members as well, Namjoon and Taehyung were adorably written and such vital characters for Jungkook’s development. Great work.”

“Amazing plot and story-telling. I was hooked from the first word until the last! Within a few chapters, these two manage to suck you into a whole new world!”

PAGE BY PAGE written by @sujigguk

» One-Shot; Yoongi x Jimin » Summary; Bookworm and frequent bookstore dweller, Park Jimin, has been harbouring a crush on Yoongi, the assistant at his favourite establishment, for months now. Min Yoongi, heir to his father’s beloved bookshop, has been dropping subtle hints that he’s into Jimin, waiting for him to realise that the novels he offers as recommendations aren’t simply a coincidence.

bookclub; review

“Page by Page is a warm hug, a fresh cup of tea, an afternoon curled up under a blanket with your favorite book. Its atmosphere is crafted as lovingly as the characters, thoughtful bookworm Jimin and clever store clerk Yoongi, and I promise you will fall in love with all three (or four, including Jimin’s daring best friend, Taehyung). Bibliophiles and lovers of book shops or libraries will find a sanctuary in the charming aisles of Sugar and Spice. A gentle romance blossoms from shy glances through the stacks and secret messages sent via books. I could not stop smiling while rooting for Jimin and Yoongi to solve each other’s mysteries. All stories must end, but like in my favorite books, I found the ending bittersweet because I wanted to keep living in these pages.” [ourownwings]

“She has a way of telling a story so uniquely that you just fall in love with their love. It is just sooooooo sweet!”

SING ME TO SLEEP written by remi_niscent

» One-Shot; Yoongi x Jungkook, Jimin x Taehyung » Summary; When Yoongi finally pulled himself out of his bedroom and fell asleep on the park bench during a rainstorm, he never expected to wake up to a world full of colours. Jungkook never thought that he would meet his soulmate in a park during the rain, but he could suddenly see the colours from the light across the road. Neither of them thought that a conversation could be held on your arm with pens, but they chatted until there was no skin left to write on. So what happens when one of them is ready to take things a step further but the other is still figuring himself out? » Disclaimer; mentioning of alcohol

bookclub; review

“I usually don't read a lot of Soulmate AU's but this was so freaking adorable!! I really loved Yoonkooks friends trying to be matchmakers throughout the whole thing it was hilarious and when Yoongi thanked Jungkook for the colours I ALMOST STARTED UGLY SOBBING THAT WAS DANGEROUS TO MY HEART OKAY hear me when I say I'm not an adamant fluff reader but this was such a heartwarmer!!” I loved everything about it!! [flowerwrites06]

“AMAZING! SHOWSTOPPING AND SO GOD DAMN ADORABLE!”

WASTE IT ON ME written by @yoongified

» One-Shot; Taehyung x Jungkook » Summary; A troubled artist, in search of inspiration, stumbles into a bar and finds everything he’s been looking for. » Disclaimer; casual drinking

bookclub; review

“WOW. So this fic was unbelievable. The first thing I have to comment on is just the beauty of the prose. It felt like a painting in itself. So much detail and flowery (but appropriate) descriptions that just flowed along the page. I feel like the author really was able to capture the painter’s spirit within Taehyung and it came out so forcefully within this writing. It’s absolutely stunning. And of course the descriptions of the characters and their own personalities – mysterious and just as artistic and flowing as Tae’s own paintings. It really felt like everything was told from his painter’s vision and that was such a unique and gorgeous way to tell the story, and so fulfilling to read.”

“What an unique piece of a story! At first you think...okay this might be your typical drunk stumbling into a bar troubled artist - au but it’s not....it is wonderful!”

SAMHAINS BLESSING written by @cassiavioletblue​ & @softjeon​

» One-Shot; Witch!Yoongi x Vampire!Taehyung » Summary; How little vampire Tae found his way to Yoongi. » Disclaimer; mentioning of blood

bookclub; review

“If you prefer your Halloween celebrations sweet rather than spooky, then Samhain’s Blessing is the treat for you! Adapting to his new vampire abilities is not going well for the hopelessly adorable Taehyung, until he falls—quite literally—into the life of Yoongi, an adept witch with a soft spot for animals. The tale that unfolds has many moments with “bat eating banana” levels of cuteness (look it up, you won’t regret it), as well as my new favorite appearance of a sieve in any work of fiction. Of course, the story by this prolific writing duo can be enjoyed year-round, no Halloween required. I only wish I had found it sooner! Now if you’ll excuse me, some cute bat videos are calling…”[ourownwings]

“This fic was so SO CUTE. I really liked that Taehyung wasn’t a perfect, sexy, badass vampire. This is often the case with vampires in fics, but he was rather a misfit and just sweet and cute. I think it really worked for Taeyung’s personality, as well as for the fic itself, letting the two bond in a really adorable way. “I’m Taehyung and I suck at being a vampire.” Cracked me up so much. Also the imagery of Tae in his bat form is just too good; I love bats anyway and him as a sweet little hoppity-bat not wanting to hurt anyone and just being generally fluffy and adorable is too precious. And the really soft, happy ending was great, the knowledge that they’ll figure it out one way or another is just A+; working things out and making an overall amazing couple.”

A SONG OF FIRE AND FRUIT SMOOTHIES written by teecysh

» One-Shot; Dragon!Namjoon x Jimin » Summary; Namjoon is part dragon, and to his complete and utter embarassment, he can’t stop collecting cute things for his hoard. Which would be fine except Jimin is the cutest person he’s ever seen and it’s becoming a real struggle not to collect him too…

bookclub; review

“omg this is one of my favorite little minjoon stories! how sweet jimin is towards the dragon?? omg can i shout about it all day? i love how intrigued namjoon is and how he slowly gets closer until he finally takes jimin with him haha such a fun concept!”

“The title alone hooked me haha, but to then see what it was about made me squeal. Namjoon just loving cute things and Jimin being one of those cute things is the best minjoon thing. It's made better by the fact that he's a dragon who has a love for adorable things <3 It was also really well written and paced so that it didn't seem to be going to fast or too slow. Both of them are so good together, and I love how Jimin reacted to Namjoon. It seemed so real haha”

“The premise of this story had me lining up to read it as quickly as Jimin’s smoothie truck customers, and by the time I finished, I was absolutely smitten. The characters really shine, as the author is faithful to their established personalities. Namjoon is curious yet painfully shy, with a penchant for taking advice a little too literally. Jimin is a hard-working sweetheart who sees past his new observer’s unusual social etiquette as well as the small detail that he is, in fact, a dragon. The tale that unfolds is humorous and heart-warming as Namjoon navigates how to invite Jimin to join his horde of “cute things,” with some delightful appearances of Yoongi and Hoseok in supporting roles. A Song of Fire and Fruit Smoothies is as sweet and refreshing as Jimin’s titular treats.” [ourownwings]

— Join the Bookclub here! — official post — faq

[permian-tropos]

after much deliberation i settled on the fact that I wish you would write a fic in which Leia Organa and Rae Sloane drink tea and politely hate each other

Oh that’s a very good fic idea. Or just a scene really... I don’t think I’m the best at these kinds of tense politicking scenarios unless I take a long ass time with it because I feel like it needs focus and I’m so easily distracted and need new shiny things to play with but let’s give it a shot. Let’s make this set in the Journey to TRoS...

-

Back when Leia hated Rae Sloane for keeping the Empire alive on fumes of spite and prolonging the war, she was happy to have a clearer moral high ground. Leia hates Sloane for two petty reasons now, for looking and sounding no older than Leia herself despite being twenty years senior, and for being right when she has no right to be. 

“How does it feel to be mother to the Supreme Leader?” Sloane asks. She has a gold-tipped cane across her lap and is leaning her head against a fist.

“Sloane, I’m not here to bicker. You called me here saying you knew of a powerful weapon that could sway the tide against the Order.”

“I do.” Sloane stirs cream into her tea. Her hand is shaking, but the implanted metal exoskeleton around it is counterbalancing the tremors. “We’ll get to that.”

“Bad. It feels bad, Sloane,” Leia says. She reaches for a sugar cube with the tiny tongs and delicately adds it to her tea. “If you think you can goad me like this, remember, I was publicly the daughter of Darth Vader.” 

“But then they feared you. Now they pity you.” 

Leia adds another cube of sugar, because at that, her mouth tastes bitter. 

“I don’t,” Sloane adds. “I am tired of the excuses for why you never dealt with Snoke, nor with Ben Solo.”

Quirking a brow, Leia sips her tea. “I don’t recall you ever asking the New Republic for aid.”

“If I had, Snoke would have ousted me sooner as a coward and appeaser. It should have been obvious to you that Snoke would be more than the First Order’s problem. Now billions are dead.”

Leia remains cordial, warmth in her creaking voice. “I did it the New Republic’s way. The people’s way. They preferred nonintervention. What was I going to do, send Jedi assassins to kill a foreign national because he had the Force?”

“And then he stole your son.” Sloane raises her cup to her lips.

“I’ve been coming to terms with the possibility that Ben would have chosen Darkness one way or another.” 

“Why’s that?” 

Steam curls off the surface of Leia’s tea. She gulps it this time and it’s especially hot, going down like a mouthful of lava. “Because he’s a lot like me.”

"Ah, yes. A treasure to be stolen by the enemy, to be rescued for glory. He would have been taken one way or another. But unlike you he had to go willingly.”

Leia blinks and sets her teacup down. “Excuse me?”

“Admit it, Leia. You’re the Imperator.” Sloane shrugs. “If you’re properly captured, your side loses. So the other pieces go down first. Your Craft, your Dowager, your Counselor, your Knight...” 

Leia sees the Raddus with Holdo aboard, she sees Han, she sees Ackbar, she sees Luke. 

“Strategic play requires sacrifices. Of course Ben knows that. He’s sacrificed everything, too. But he’s been a much better player, because those sacrifices have made him much, much more powerful. You haven’t been sacrificing, just losing.” 

“I don’t plan on making any more sacrifices,” Leia says, firm. 

“Then why are you letting my little namesake play Jedi hero?”

“She is most certainly not your namesake.”

“I’m pretty sure she is, but that’s beside the point. Why are you letting that girl risk her life and soul over your mistakes?” 

It’s a silly question. “Rey is more powerful than me.” Leia doesn’t stop to think how her answer doesn’t sound like the sort of thing she’d usually say. 

“Is she really, daughter of Vader, mother of Kylo Ren?”

Leia feels all-consuming darkness crash over her like a storm surge. Sloane is still right, and Leia still hates her. 

“When Darkness rises, Light meets it; that’s what Snoke said, as I recall. You could make your side so much stronger.” 

“By doing what, exactly?” Leia demands.

“I said you had a weapon,” Sloane says impatiently. “And it’s you. Obviously. You are weapon enough.” Her features are clouded for a moment and then she shrugs it off. “Your Rey may be tempted soon. She’s young and brash and still naive, and she comes from such a troubled place. You have no idea. So do what you have to, Organa. Stop letting other people take the fall for you.” 

“You’re wrong,” says Leia. “Not using my power is the only way I could empower everyone else. If I took it all in my own hands I’d be a tyrant.” 

“That’s not true,” Sloane snaps. “That’s what aristocrats always tell themselves. That’s what chess, excuse me, shah-tezh is about. The royal piece always waits behind a wall of underlings, empowering them, supposedly. Pfah!” She spits. “You think tyranny is about one person forcing their will on everyone else. Real tyranny is when everyone works together to hold up a symbol, something that feels like empowerment. That’s what I used to do, with the Empire. Now I know better. If you have power, use it.”

“And how is that any different from the Empire way?”

“The Empire was not run by the Emperor’s wanton abuse of power. It was run by millions of people who followed orders.” Sloane’s face twists enough that it finally looks old, very old. “People like you never get it. I had to learn the hard way that leaders don’t do anything. So my advice is to stop leading and do something.”

Leia’s anger dissipates. She feels sorry for Sloane, this woman who copes with her failures as a leader by blaming everything on systems and structures. Maybe there’s a grain of truth to what she’s saying, but it’s not enough to poison Leia’s mind. 

“Thank you for the tea,” she says, gracefully rising.

“God damn it,” says Sloane, sinking back into her chair and broodingly tapping her cane. “Yes, all right. You’re welcome. Any time.” 

[mootmuse]

So I have a little pet peeve when it comes to the setup of some post-game fics in the Detroit: Become Human fandom. It’s a pet peeve that maybe says more about me than that setup itself, but I thought my perspective on Hank and his issues might be useful, or at least interesting. 

Discussion of Hank’s issues follows, particularly his desire to self harm and a maybe less obvious way that can manifest (specifically, Hank’s eating habits). This also briefly mentions his suicide attempt. Proceed with that in mind. 

So! Hank's alcoholism comes at least partly from a desire to hurt himself. That much, according to the scene in the park, is canon. Personally I mentally extend that into his eating habits, because I remember feeling that way about food myself - like, eating badly might do the harm to me that I couldn't bring myself to do in a more direct way. That part is headcanon but there's also the fact that, even drunk enough to have lowered inhibitions, Hank's suicide attempt (except the one later in the game, which was in sort of exceptional circumstances) takes the form of russian roulette, where he can tell himself he's not doing it directly. He even says he doesn't 'have the guts to pull the trigger' which is an aspect of his character I bring my (much much lighter) experience into, where like, you want to do shit to yourself because you feel like you deserve it, but you feel like you're too 'cowardly' to actually do it.

So when Hank says he doesn't 'have the guts' to pull the trigger I can't help but interpret that line by applying my own version of that feeling to it. And to have a complete picture of that feeling we can’t only consider deep dark violent stuff like hank's drinking or hank's worrying level of comfort with that gun of his - to get a complete picture of what I understand that feeling to be we’d have to consider how that feeling would permeate his life, even in ways that seem relatively innocent and small.

So: food. people yell all the time about eating healthy, about how unhealthy eating will kill you, so I imagine Hank's eating habits satisfy his drive to self harm in two ways:

- the physical, where when he eats bad shit he thinks it's going to give him a heart attack or whatever some day, which satisfies his drive to self harm without being so direct that it puts on alert that part of him which wants to live/is afraid to die.

- And it satisfies the urge to self harm in an emotional way, where in general our society ridicules and thinks less of people who don't make any attempt to eat well. So if Hank doesn't eat well it helps him think things like 'i'm a shitty person for eating this hamburger' - which isn't something he'd think consciously, and would probably rant about if someone actually said to him, but like I said, that feeling would permeate even small parts of the way he interacts with the world so eating badly feeds, in a small way, his self hatred, which satisfies the urge to self harm.

Food is also, like the alcohol, a substance that helps him feel better in the short term, with even fewer obvious negative side effects. It briefly, in a small way, quiets his urge to self harm in a way he doesn’t have to fight himself to achieve, and it actively boosts his mood. Comfort eating is a powerful fucking thing, especially in a situation like the one I imagine Hank’s in. 

So when I open up a story - and I’m not talking about any story in particular, I haven’t read every dbh fic there is but from what I’ve seen this is pretty common - When I open up a story and one of the first things it says is that Hank’s on a diet now, and the audience didn’t see any work getting put into that, it’s just assumed that it’s happening now, it grates on me. Stories tend to say that it’s happening because Connor lovingly nagged Hank into healthier eating, sometimes even limiting Hank’s alcohol consumption, and the first thing that gets to me is the fact that it always feels like Connor’s the person pushing that change. When those coping mechanisms tie so closely into Hank’s issues, Hank would have to be the one to decide to change those habits. 

Fics that have Hank eating better because Connor pressure him into it mean well, and I do like what they’re trying. They’re trying for a post game world where Hank is recovering, where he has a family and is treating himself better, and I love that! It’s a worthy goal and definitely a good thing to frame as A Happy Ending. But his habits come from his issues, and the assumption that someone else nagging him is what solved all that - and the assumption that this happened before the fic even started, that the process of Hank beginning to treat himself better is so much of a non-process that it’s not even worth writing or reading, that it’s just how things are when the real story starts - sometimes gets to me. I WANT to see Hank eat better - but I want to see that because I want to see the slow painful process of Hank coming to want it himself - and wanting better for yourself is its own struggle, one that I’d love to see given more attention in fics with Hank in them - and I want to see the long process of him trying to construct alternate healthier avenues to channel his issues into. Because that would be necessary too. 

Honestly I am interested in the idea of seeing a scenario explored where Connor worries at him to drink less and eat better until Hank agrees without understanding why he eats badly, without addressing the root issue behind that behavior and without constructing alternate coping mechanisms. I don’t think the attempt would go well. 

Also I have to be honest, the idea of someone nagging anyone to eat better is inherently a little infuriating to me. I know not everyone resents being told to do shit as much as I do but I can’t help but bring that into it XD But mostly I just want to see this aspect of Hank’s issues treated as one head of a labyrinthine hydra of issues (shush, the mixed metaphor works - you cut off the bad-eating-habits head without struggling to navigate the rest of the hydra’s complex and toxic innards, just shut down one aspect of it without dealing with with the beast as a whole, and that one head just grows back angrier), because that is more meaningful and inspiring to me than seeing it assumed - or so goes the impression I get when I see Hank’s quick change in eating habits put in the story as a tiny, seemingly unimportant detail - that being better is just a switch Hank can flip and now he eats better because this one person is around, and that change was simple and easy and not really worth incorporating into the rest of the story. 

Feeling as Hank does about himself would take a lot of long term work to come back from. It would take him a lot of long term work before he even wanted to come back from it, and until he starts doing all that work his issues are going to bleed into maybe-unexpected facets of his life. It just gets to me a little when I feel like that’s been overlooked or treated as a quicker, simpler matter than it is in real life. Hank’s shitty eating is important to me. It feels silly to say, but there are deep reasons behind it. 

[siverwrites]

Chocobox Letter 2019

AO3 - Siver

Thank you dear author and thank you for taking one of these up! Anything listed here is ideas and general prompts. Some mix of things or something else inspired from anything I talk about here is great. If you have another idea entirely, cool! I hope something here is fun for you.

I have several possible requests and while some are longer than others they are all equally welcome!

All requests are fic or art. Art: Interactions of some sort: emoting at each other, talking, sharing some activity, taking a walk, hugs are always welcome, whatever suits the pair/group!

Likes: fluff, hurt/comfort, comfort, missing scenes, friendships, long-term friendships, close relationships of any sort whether romantic or platonic, found family, sickfic, AUs, fandom crossovers or fusions, angst with a happy end, bonding, cuddling/hugs/holding, mutual care and support, emotional bonding, pre-canon, post-canon, reuniting

DNW: NSFW, non-con, dub-con, unrequested ships, angst without a happy ending, infidelity, gore

Dragon Quest XI

Sylvando & Hendrik

Sylvando & Serena

General Note: I haven't finished the post-game stuff yet, so unless otherwise noted please keep to the main game timeline; stuff post-final boss but before going back is good too! Thank you!

Missing scenes are always great. All those campfires are ripe for interactions. Other characters are welcome to make appearances if desired.

Sylvando & Hendrik: I'm interested in interactions between them in main-game time or just post with their shared backgrounds in mind. I love their contrast--Sylv's flamboyance and Hendrik's stoicism... until he gets flustered. More interaction during game is always welcome! Campfires, traveling shenanigans. Or maybe something in Puerto Valor while the party is there? Any other town is ripe for opportunity as well.

Could talk backgrounds, what Sylvando was doing after he left. Hendrik’s experiences in Heliodor. Or if you want to go on some kind of comfort route maybe something to do with Hendrik having been used by Mordegan against the Luminary or Jasper’s betrayal?

My one rule break on post-game: could also do something related to their Chivalry and Don Rodrigo sending them on that quest. Something during or after it.

Serena & Sylvando: Serena had a tough time after the tree fell, but who better to do some cheering up than the knight in smiling armour himself? Campfire spots are a great opportunity or something in one of the towns. We don’t see these two interact much, so anything would be great.

Ghost Trick

Cabanela/Jowd 

Alma/Cabanela/Jowd 

Jowd/Alma & Cabanela 

Cabanela & Jowd 

Cabanela & Pigeon Man 

Alma/Jowd 

Alma & Cabanela 

Sissel & Alma 

Jowd & Pigeon Man 

Jowd & Sissel 

Cabanela & Sissel

I love this game and these characters ever so much. I’ve also been having a great time with AUs, crossovers and fandom fusions. Anything from my Yuletide Letter is still game as well as anything listed here!

Cabanela/Jowd: No infidelity please. So, this could be a no-reset scenario, something during the game events--ch.9 and ch.15 stuff is always great. Or on a less angsty route, it is the ot3 or some kind of happy V. but Alma’s simply not involved if they’re at work, she’s at work, or a trip or she’s on a trip, etc, so the focus is on their end.  Fluff, bonding, banter, travel, domestic stuff, on-the-job antics either at the station or out on a case.

Alma/Cabanela/Jowd: Post-game. All the polyamory fluff! Domestic fluff, travel fluff, vacation fluff, road trip, picnics, beach trips, train trip? etc. Go for a date whatever a date might entail for these three. Hugs, snuggles, and love.

Jowd/Alma & Cabanela: The platonic route of the above on Cabanela’s front. As long as they’re close in some way I’m happy. Found family galore! This couple and their stray greyhound.

Cabanela & Jowd: The closest of friends and work partners/rivals. In-game moments--post Ch.9 never gets old. Ch.15 stuff never gets old. Post-game. Coping with memories on Jowd’s front and repeated events. Prior knowledge of cases thanks to previous timeline during the first five years and either that’s a big hint or Cabs already knows and there’s something else to be done there. Or casefic. Day to day life. Friendship anything.

Cabanela & Pigeon Man: I love these two’s friendship. And snark. And banter. And equivalent willingness to believe the weirder explanations for things. Their joint goal for saving Jowd. Anything during the year they worked together is great. Anything post-game is full of great potential. Meeting again. Figuring out how a friendship would work without Jowd in peril.

Alma/Jowd: Marriage fluff, domestic fluff, or pre-game how they got together, what did it look like for Jowd and someone interested in Jowd to get together? Their own brand of ‘courtship’. One sided flirting on Alma’s part? Nothing of the sort and they made their own ways? Wedding proposals? Who proposed to who and how?

Alma & Cabanela: All the close friendship. Early days, future days, banter, a day on the town shopping, out having a ball dancing? Some other activity entirely? Story sharing, hobby sharing that one of the two just can’t quite get? Anything fun goes!

Sissel & Alma: Cat bonding! I don’t have anything else to say really. Anything goes whether Alma knows the truth, finds out the truth, or doesn’t know yet. Cute fluff in all senses.

Jowd & Pigeon Man: Pre-game friendship when PM was still medical examiner. Post-game friendship. Pre-game Jowd leaving his coat with PM. Clearly they are important to each other but we don’t get to see much of anything with the two of them, so anything goes!

Jowd & Sissel: Post-game. The detective and his ghost cat and all the antics that might entail at work or at home. Their ability to communicate silently through the ghost world. Another anything goes.

Cabanela & Sissel: I just love what these two could get up to. Post-game working together either on actual job work, or some other thing--a surprise for someone in the family? Cabanela needing a helping paw with something (those ghost powers are useful!). Sissel needing height and a helping hand? (those ghost powers are limited, plus paws, plus lack of reading). Buddy times!

The Last Guardian

The Boy & Trico

Give me all the cat-dog-bird fluff/shenanigans/playfulness/warmth/coziness. Anything while they’re together. Barrel feeding, snuggle time, riding, flying. Sweet or silly (Trico has his moments for sure) or something else. I adore Trico. I adore the boy and Trico’s companionship.

Alternatively something in the future. The boy grown up reuniting with Trico. A flight with Trico. A temporary willing return to the nest. Meeting Trico babies!

Final Fantasy X

Auron & Braska & Jecht

Auron & Yuna

Auron & Kimahri Ronso

Auron & Lulu

Lulu & Yuna

First game only please

Missing scenes during game, scenes before, scenes post-game when returned to Besaid (Lulu and Yuna).

Auron & Braska & Jecht:  Always interested in past stuff with Braska, Auron and Jecht. How did friendships develop? What kind of trouble did this diverse trio get into? Or what were their thoughts on the summoner's sacrifice? What did Auron think before they got the truth? What did Jecht think as an outsider? What’s an event that happened during their pilgrimage of some importance or something minor that’s bound to happen while traveling? (always room for chocobo antics!)

Auron & Yuna: A quiet moment during the pilgrimage? This is Auron’s second pilgrimage--what might get talked about? Or what might Yuna ask about Braska or their pilgrimage? Does she have fears or insecurities of her own in relation to being Braska’s daughter? Just something with these two.

Auron & Kimahri Ronso: Kimahri and Auron friendship! Or Auron making the request for Kimahri to take Yuna to Besaid for him. Kimahri is more aware of Auron’s state. Good with anything for these two.

Auron & Lulu: This isn’t the first pilgrimage for either of them. I feel like they would have things to talk about in relation to their past pilgrimages, or things to talk about in relation to the shenanigans of this party. Tired Guardians.

Lulu & Yuna: Summoner and Guardian. Sister-like bonds. Moments during the game. Or events before the game as Yuna prepares for becoming the summoner? Or post-game with Lulu being there for Yuna? Or Yuna being there for Lulu over something pre, during main, or post? If post-game, nothing related to X-2 please, thank you!

Final Fantasy VI

Mog & Terra Branford

Terra Branford & Edgar Roni Figaro

Terra Branford & Celes Chere

Gogo & Cyan Garamonde

Scenes in game, during world of balance, world of ruin, or scenes after the game in a slowly recovering world?

Mog & Terra: A dancing moogle and a half Esper! Anything sweet/cute would be welcome for these two. A quiet moment to hang out? Or protecting each other? Mog dancing for Terra? Making something nice in the World of Ruin? Just ideas.

Terra & Edgar: I have a soft spot for some kind of friendship between these two. They both took on burdens of duty and while the whole world is more than a kingdom there’s still a point of connection there. Something at the castle? Or something while traveling? Terra being curious about the castle’s mechanics? Moving castle, who wouldn’t think that’s cool?

Terra & Celes: Former Empire people both of them, but one not by choice. The half esper and the magitek knight. Bonding, getting to know each other. Celes seeing the real Terra.

Gogo & Cyan: They’re both neat. Something involving the both of them is just a cool image. Gogo is neat, Gogo’s mimicry is neat. Cyan is cool though tragic. Something with Gogo’s mimicry perhaps, in combat. Not quite a lone samurai. Taking a quiet moment away from the party chaos? I only ask that Gogo’s identity is kept a mystery. (not picky about pronoun usage, I tend toward they/them)

The Legend of Heroes: Sora no Kiseki | Trails in the Sky

Estelle Bright & Anelace Elfead

Estelle Bright & Tita Russell

Olivier Reise Arnor & Cassius Bright

Olivier Reise Arnor & Mueller Vander

Olivier Reise Arnor/Mueller Vander

Anything in any of the three Sky games or something in between them. Missing scenes, scene extensions, travel along the roads, airship travel times, etc. Ample opportunity for anything in the Garden in 3rd.

Estelle & Anelace: Friends and friendly rivals. Some fun scene while they’re in Le Locle? Training? Sparring? Evening rest? Alternatively maybe they get a little time before Estelle sets off with Joshua post-SC? Or any moment during 3rd in the Garden.

Estelle & Tita: Sisters! Found family! Estelle caring for her while bemused by orbal talk. Any time during FC, SC, 3rd or anything in between is up for grabs. Cute fluff is great.

Olivier & Cassius: They worked together in secret in SC in preparation for Erebonia’s “help” (invasion). I’d be curious to see some kind of interaction between them during that. Mutual updates on the state of Erebonia after Cassius’s return and Olivier’s plans as they stood then maybe? Maybe a meeting before Olivier and Mueller go back to Erebonia? Just really interested in seeing something between these two.

Olivier & Mueller, Olivier/Mueller: Gen or romance slant. I’m good with either. I enjoy Mueller and Olivier's closeness and how they contrast each other. Olivier's more eccentric and flamboyant nature, but also his more serious side. And Mueller's regular exasperation with him, but also his care for him. Being there for each other. I’m fond of the little things like how Mueller always calls him Olivier even after his identity is revealed. Anything during Liberl travels, or in 3rd. I loved Olivier’s Star Door in 3rd, so something related to that would be cool too. Or their growing fondness for Liberl but knowing they have to get back to Erebonia. Or just some goofy town antics at some point before Olivier takes off without Mueller.

The Legend of Heroes: Sen no Kiseki | Trails of Cold Steel

DNWs: Spoilers for Sen 3 and 4, spoilers for Crossbell arc that aren't already spoiled by Sen 1 and 2

First two games are ripe for the picking, whether it’s stuff during field studies (where applicable), at Thors, in one of the towns, on the Courageous or in a town during CS2 etc.

Alfin Reise Arnor & Olivert Reise Arnor

Olivert Reise Arnor/Mueller Vander

Olivert Reise Arnor & Mueller Vander

Alisa Reinford & George Nome

Laura S. Arseid & Machias Regnitz

Towa Herschel & Sara Valestein

Towa Herschel & Emma Millstein

Towa Herschel & Rean Schwarzer

Alfin & Olivier: Alfin is truly Olivert’s half-sister. Something fun with them in Heimdallr before or during CS1. Reuniting on his return from Liberl? Music playing/singing. City strolling. Brother and sister times. Or a quiet talk by screen while she’s on the Courageous in CS2? They could probably both use each other’s company and reassurance.

Olivert & Mueller, Olivert/Mueller: Gen or romance slant. I’m good with either. I enjoy Mueller and Olivier's closeness and how they contrast each other. Olivier's more eccentric and flamboyant nature, but also his more serious side. And Mueller's regular exasperation with him, but also his care for him. Being there for each other. I’m fond of the little things like how Mueller always calls him Olivier even in Erebonia when Olivert’s identity is known and public. Heimdallr fun or trouble (Olivier...). Planning against Osborne. Look after a tired Olivert? Something during the civil war when they’re in the west?

Alisa & George: The techies of their respective groups! They have plenty to talk about with that alone, plus George being a former apprentice to Professor Schmidt while Alisa is a Reinford. Orbment talk, Valimar talk, orbal bike talk, Roer talk? Anything goes. Could be in the engineering building or maybe even over coffee in Trista. Let George into town sometimes!

Laura & Machias: They don’t get to interact much but with a rocky beginning and Laura being a noble and Machias’s views of nobles at first, they feel like an interesting pair for interactions. Laura’s no nonsense. Machias is easily flustered. Or something later when Machias has improved in his views. Something between them in a field study, at the academy, or a moment in CS2.

Towa & Sara: The ever helpful, maybe overly helpful sometimes student council president and... Sara. We know Towa helped with Class VII’s school packages and generally helped a lot with Class VII stuff. They’d see each other a lot but we don’t get to see them together much. Towa was also a former student of Sara’s as the prototype class vii, so they have a connection already from that as well.

Towa & Emma: The student council president and Class VII’s president. They’re another pair that would likely interact quite a bit, but we don’t get to see it. It’d be interesting to see something between them. (Celine is welcome too).

Towa & Rean: I’m fond of their friendship and their helping/looking out for each other. I enjoy their friendship. Anything could go whether it’s during the school year or the civil war. Fluffy or something more bittersweet with angst from the stuff they have to go through, particularly in Sen 2. Two souls who care for everyone else but aren’t so good at tending to their own needs. They can make up where the other is lacking. Head pats and lectures and shared coffee around.

Twin Peaks

Dale Cooper/Albert Rosenfield/Harry Truman

Albert Rosenfield/Harry Truman

Dale Cooper/Albert Rosenfield

Dale Cooper/Harry Truman

Tamara "Tammy" Preston & Albert Rosenfield

I'm not in deep with this fandom having only watched the original and return and unfamiliar with the supplemental stuff, however I enjoy these characters and relations. References to other stuff is fine too.

Dale/Albert/Harry, Albert/Harry, Dale/Albert, Dale/Harry: Listing these four groupings all together because my wants are basically the same for all three. Please give them some peace and warmth. Reconnecting? Already established? Something fluffy or something more serious. Albert snark required always. Hints of the surreal or supernatural are of course welcome here.

Tammy & Albert: I like their interactions. Experienced Blue Rose member and newer Blue Rose member. A conversation, a shared drink, in transit by car or flight. Searching, researching. Something with these two I’m not picky.

[teefa85]

So...in organization, much like what I did with Wild ARMs 3, here’s how my La Pucelle fics of old stand up to my own new and updated canons.  Not talking about Nippon Ichi’s canon...the whole place is a multiverse and some versions of characters seem to come from different paths or endings (even if there is usually one that is consistent).  But my own writing...

Under cut since most people probably don’t give a shit!

So, the big change is with the character, Dominique.  She actually was created spur of the moment during the writing of Child of Light and Darkness rather than being planned out like other OCs  Francoise and Jacques.  I gave her a role there that flew into the sequels I’d written out, but it has changed over time.  While her origin story is mostly the same, instead of being kidnapped and raised by a pair of grieving demon parents, she’s adopted by a clan of traveling performers.  All the trauma (and the loss of her own sister, who fought a demon at five-years-old just so she could get to safety) causes her to suppress memories of her past and believe they are her real family.  Which they accept since they heard her story and figure it helps her cope.  In the end, they’re killed in the Mayonnaise Harbor Massacre by Normande, and she’s left the only survivor again!  This time, however, she goes to join La Pucelle in hopes of protecting others from demons in her family’s memory.

With this out of the way...the actual level of canonicity of the fics (and any possible rewrites).

The Days Go By:  This was mostly a post-game piece showing what happened between the final fight with the Dark Prince’s Essence and the ending, so all of that stuff is still intact by my modern ideas.  Only Chapter 3 is SLIGHTLY retconned, and that’s only because Dominique joins up with Prier and Culotte alongside Francoise.

Child of Light and Darkness/Legend of the Holy Child:  Both were possible ways Prier and Croix could have reunited during a battle with angry demons.  As Dominique is going by her original cannon in the former (since she was designed mid-fic...some time after her first “appearance” as Javalot), it’s definitely out.  And the latter...she should be with La Pucelle at that point so she wouldn’t have been taken prisoner to use as a human sacrifice (which, honestly, was just a way to put her in the fic and get her to meet the cast, since I’d yet to write her actual story).

The Royal Wedding:  There’s nothing too specific here that needs to be here.  It’s canon with a little rewording.  And honestly...the stupid jokes in it with Marjorly were too good to retcon!  Especially her summoning a monster so weak that a three-year-old could take it out in one shot!

Three Princesses:  Stupid Title aside because of bad refs, it’s decently usable.  Except for Ciel and Tonerre’s reincarnations.  They might still be the same characters, but would have no connection to Dominique and thus no deep connection towards her son, Pierre, either.  So...could work but with some major edits.

Bloody Hands, Healing Arms:  Honestly, they were just a collection of shorts that my awesome Creative Writing Professor (who has sadly since passed away) let me submit for the class portfolio!  None of them take place at a point beyond Chapter 6 of La Pucelle since I didn’t want to get too confusing, so they probably all stand.

Fatiman Memories:  It’s...Croix’s childhood anecdotes.  Really, this wouldn’t be affected at all by Dominique’s changed canon!

All My Silly One-Shots:  They’re usually non-specific enough that it doesn’t matter that one minor OC changed her backstory.  Except Wishing on Father’s Day (which is a side story to Child of Light and Darkness and borrows heavily from it) and The Great Baby Debate (which was a joke fic anyway...it’s mostly that I don’t know if I want Souer to reveal certain backstory elements or decide to let things go on as they have).

I do currently have plans to figure out a few new “What If” scenarios for the Prier and Croix reunion that take Dominique into account.  Might rewrite the next generation fic (with a possibly better name).  Other than that...not much on the fic idea front.  But hey, at least it’s not another silly Destiny world swap, or more of Defenders of Terrakyu which I feel little motivation to finish other than getting to the end of the current Arc.

[hawkland]

soul-2-soul exchange letter

Hello and thanks for writing for me! Soulmate/soulbonding stories are some of my favorite aus in fanfic so I’m very excited about this exchange. 

Please feel free to use (and/or combine) the tags as all the prompts you may need - in fact in some cases I don’t have a whole lot else to add, but if I have some more specific ideas/possibilities related to a specific tags I’ll include them below.

General Do Not Wants:

A/B/O dynamics, mating heats.

animal abuse/death

pregnancy/childbirth

formalized BDSM relationships

scat/watersports

unrequested alternative-universe scenarios such as high school/mundane/genderswap/coffee shop/fantasy/etc.

permanent character death or injury that isn’t part of canon

Supernatural: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Accidental soulbond when bringing someone back from the dead

Accidental soulbond when attempting magic together

Only characters with souls have soulmarks

Resurrection Spell Creates a Soulbond

Soulbonding is the only way for A to save B

Immortal/invulnerable character becomes mortal/vulnerable; soulmark(s) appear on them

Distance just after soulbond takes place is painful for both parties

Characters can use each other's magic/superpowers after soulbond

Character without soulmate gets one after dying and coming back to life

Soulbond allows all parties to feel what the others are feeling

Sharing Physical Pleasure Through Soul Bond

Touching your soulmate for the first time leaves mark of their skin

Touches from soulmates causes intense pleasure

Soulmates are recognized by touch

So, so many different things I’d love to see explored here with these two. Feel free to pick and choose/combine prompts as you wish or feel fit. 

Some ideas:

What if Cas’s “crack in his chassis” was the fact that he was an angel accidentally created with a soul? Angels aren’t supposed to have souls, after all, but Cas does and that’s always made him different. Maybe he/no one else even knew he had a soul until the day he touched Dean’s in Hell and raised him from perdition (and the handprint is the “mark on his skin” left by that first touch?)

I also love the alternative idea that Cas doesn’t have a soul until he becomes mortal at the end of season 8/season 9.  And once he has a soul, he gets a soulmark that matches Dean’s/they recognize that’s why they’ve had such a strong connection all of this time. (So in a way they always were soulmates in waiting, but it could never happen until Cas lost his angelic grace.)

Some of these other tags would also be great for a 15x18 fix-it fic, obviously, with soulbonding being necessary for Dean to rescue Cas from the Empty. Plus they’ve both died and been resurrected so many times, at any point in canon they could suddenly have come back with the realization they now were bonded/soulmates.

I’d also just be great with smutty fic where Dean has to cope with experiencing the intensity of trueform!Cas via soulbonding (and sex, of course). Would the soulbond protect him from being harmed when exposed to Cas’s true form?

Law & Order: SVU: John Munch/Odafin "Fin" Tutuola

Character doesn't believe in soulmates/soulbonding; ends up with soulmark

How Soulmates Affect Society Worldbuilding

Work partners to soulmates – doesn’t develop until completely trusted by partners

Sexuality questioned for the first time by meeting your soulmate

Telepathy Between Soulmates Only When Mortal Danger

Doctor explains that character's new "rash" is soulmark

Reluctant Soulmates

Secret Soulbond

I could see both John and Fin being very cynical about the whole idea of soulmates until the other comes along and they realize they have a special bond, despite their very different personalities.  That, and/or they have to keep the extent/nature of their relationship a secret for work-related reasons (soulmates/soulbonded people aren’t allowed to work together on the force, because it might be considered detrimental to their ability to put others first, and not each other?) 

I’m also just curious how the existence of soulmates/soulbonds could affect the kind of cases they’d see on their job at SVU. So some kind of casefic would be great, as a way that causes them to either discover or reflect upon their own relationship/bond and what they mean to each other.

Supernatural RPF: Jensen Ackles/Misha Collins

Soulmates - Distance is Painful

Friends before Soulmates

Sexual Contact Between Soulmates Relieves Pain From Being Apart

Always had to hide being soulmates – now they show the world

Mishap - Extra Sensitive Newly Soulbonded Character Orgasms Every Time Their Bonded Say Their Name

Secret Soulbond

Some people have more than one soulmate/soulbond

I could go with either something angsty and a little sad with this one, or very silly and fluffy. For the former: distance apart after the end of SPN, maybe not realizing they would be apart as long as they were (thanks to everything that happened in this past year or so.) For the latter: trying to keep the nature/intensity of their relationship quiet on the set, but Misha (the king of fuck around and find out) just can’t help but tease and want to see just how crazy he can make Jensen with their new bond? 

The Police: Stewart Copeland/Sting, Stewart Copeland/Sting/Andy Summers

Oh my god I can't stand you why are we soulbonded

Oh my god I can't stand you why are we soulmates

Character doesn't believe in soulmates/soulbonding; ends up with soulmark

Polyamory - A Group of Soulmates

Char A+B meet up after a long time to break soulbond and Char A realises they don't want to

Estranged Soulmate Is Nonetheless Caught Off-Guard When They Feel The Bond Breaking

A is thrilled about accidental bond; B wants to break it ASAP

Reluctant Soulmates

This is the one fandom/ships where I wouldn’t mind some serious angst/even a sad ending. The push-pull between Sting & Stewart has always made them one of my most beloved and fascinating ships. I’d love something set around/involving the reunion tour of 2007-2008 - maybe that’s when they realize why they are always drawn back to each other and why their connection is so strong, despite all their personality differences? Or, something following the original break-up of the band for the “bond breaking” prompts and how that makes them feel. 

I also love the idea of the three of them all being some kind of uniquely soulbonded group—Andy perhaps being the key to balance between Sting & Stewart’s extremes.