#use from when i was writing it all in this one doc and wasn't sure what parts would make it into the final | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jirsungs · 3 months ago

Text

first halloween... gone wrong? | dms drabble #4

word count: 1.6k words

pairing: drummer!jisung x girlfriend!reader

synopsis: halloween was never your favorite. you would choose christmas over it in a heartbeat, but with your dorky drummer boyfriend who absolutely loves it never leaving your side, you might just tolerate the spooky holiday. (set in the drum me, stupid universe but can be read as a standalone!)

warnings: a knife is mentioned, the dms!couple is flirty and GROSS, but most of this is just fluff.

a/n: HIIII 😭 jirsungs nation, rise! it's been 2 weeks since any story related post has been uploaded, and i just want to deeply apologize for not being here ): i missed writing and putting my delusions down in a google doc. but i hope you guys enjoy this short drum me stupid drabble and missed these cutie patooties as much as i did ☹️ as always, feedback is ALWAYS loved and appreciated! happy reading <3

You were never fond of Halloween. Sure, you loved being able to go all out in costumes and go to Halloween parties with your friends, but you knew immediately that once those plans were over, you were left in your own accompaniment once again.

Some people would be joyful with spending the rest of their nights after parties and such alone, but you? You were used to the party scene and loved it when it never ended. Lucky for you, your dorky boyfriend of a few months, Park Jisung, always kept the party going.

“Hey, have you guys seen Ji?” You asked Ningning and her boyfriend, Jeno, after finally spotting them dancing together on the dance floor. Your voice was louder than usual due to Michael Jackson's Thriller bumping from the party speakers.

“No, we thought he was with you." Ning looks over to Jeno. “I thought he came with you and the guys.”

You both wait for Jeno's reply, but he just shrugs. “He was supposed to, but he was the last one to get ready. If anyone knows where he is, that's Chenle.”

You click your tongue. “I figured. I'm going to keep looking for him. Thanks, guys!”

Ning’s shout of “Good luck!” was the last thing you heard before you committed to walking through the crowd of musty bodies. You were surprised at how many people went all out on their Halloween costumes this year. Your surprise wasn't a bad thing though; if anything, you loved it.

You almost second-guessed your choice of costume. With you and Ning being the only girls in the group, you felt that it was right if the both of you matched. The angel costumes were cute; you were wearing a black tight dress while she wore white, but taking a look at the decided costumes this year, you began to feel basic.

Once you're out of the crowd, you spot Haechan, Mark, and Yeonjun in the corner. You take notice of Yeonjun trying his best to impress some girl while the two boys next to him silently judge, taking occasional sips out of their red solo cups.

Haechan, in his Pennywise makeup and attire, sees you walking towards them, tilting his head at your costume. “What are you supposed to be? A demonic angel?”

Mark snickers at his friend's comment, which you pout at. “No. I'm just an angel who happens to wear black. And says you, Pennywise, isn't your costume like... super basic?”

Haechan gasps, his hand on his chest for the dramatic effect. Mark rolls his eyes and answers your question instead.

“Every year, the Rockway guys do a group costume. This year, we somehow decided on iconic horror movie killers.”

“Ahhh… So, that explains your Leatherface mask.”

With a nod of his head, Mark replies with a “Yup.”

You glance back at the party, and the sudden remembrance of why you came up to them in the first place hits you. “Oh! By the way, have you guys seen Jisung? I literally can't find him anywhere.”

Your body physically sulks at their answers, telling you they haven't seen him in a while. With your hope slowly decreasing and the urge to ditch the party increasing, you decide to call him one last time. If he doesn’t answer, you’ll cut the party short and head home, unfortunately finding the comfort of your bed more enjoyable than being here. You loved the company of your friends, but it bummed you out that you haven’t seen your boyfriend all night after him telling you that he’ll be here.

After bidding your goodbyes to the group and giving Jeno the responsibility to get Ning home safely, you make your way to your car. It's late October with the breeze finally coming through, resulting in you rubbing your arms in hopes for warmth. As you walk, your ears pick up on the sounds of your heels clicking against the sidewalk cement until they pick up another pair of footsteps near you. At first, you don’t sweat it, already aware of the scattered groups outside of the frat.

But as you walk more down towards your car, the shuffling footsteps don’t leave you. Okay, you’ve had enough of this. Your slight irritation was slowly increasing due to this sudden interruption of your plans to waste the rest of your night away by changing out of this angel get-up and watching comfort films.

The only person you craved to see you in this costume was nowhere to be found, anyway. Finally turning around, you face the person but stay near your car for safety reasons.

“Who are you, and why do you keep following me?” You ask.

You didn’t mean to have your words come out sharply, but when you found out your culprit to be someone in a Ghostface costume, it only made you roll your eyes.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but if you’re just here to mess with me, is it okay if you can choose someone else? I really don’t have the energy for this.”

A beat passes and still no response from the person. It was almost as if their feet were stuck in the cement; you were starting to feel chills at the creepy mask staring back at you. But then, your brain starts to put the pieces together.

The replay of what Mark told you earlier back at the party plays in your head. “Every year, the Rockway guys do a group costume. This year, we somehow decided on iconic horror movie killers.” Would it be a coincidence that Jisung, who you haven’t seen all night, just happens to be right in front of you?

Your face softens at the thought of the mysterious Ghostface being your boyfriend. “Ji, baby, if that’s you, I’m going to smack you. Where have you been all night? I called you three times.”

Still no answer, but now they were slowly walking towards you, revealing what they were holding behind them to be a knife. From where you’re standing, you couldn’t tell if it’s real or a fake replica, but that doesn’t stop your grip on the driver seat handle tightening, ready to pull on it and get the hell out of here.

But you try one last time. “Okay, quit it. This isn't funny.”

By this point, the wondering thoughts of whether this was Jisung or not cloud your mind. You’re now close to each other, and the Ghostface still hasn’t said anything.

You know what? Fuck it! You’re not dying today!

You tug the car door open, ready to rush inside, but the masked John Doe shuts the door before you can. Their gloved hand doesn’t budge on the door, making their body lean against it and impossible for you to get inside.

The fact that they haven’t shoved the knife into your body by now has you suspicious and less frightened, but more agitated. Finally, they remove the mask from their face, revealing—

“Hi, pretty angel.”

Your stupid, cheekily smiling boyfriend.

He has no time to lean in and give you an apologetic kiss on the lips before you smack him on the chest and punch his arm. “You motherfucker!”

“Ow! What the hell was that for?”

Your eyes squint at him asking you that, resulting in another punch to his arm. “Don’t ‘what the hell was that for’ me! You scared the shit out of me!”

You’re about to smack his chest again, but Jisung’s reflex hits faster than yours. Not giving you another opportunity to hit him, he’s quick to take hold of both of your wrists, which you immediately try to get out of. You hate (love) how strong he’s been getting. With his constant drumming and going to the gym with the guys on the side, it became more and more difficult for you to get out of his grip.

With your hands unable to move, he takes the chance and plants quick kisses all over your face. Your face flusters quickly with you trying to move away from his lips. He knows he got you when your tugging to get out of his hands stops and you start giggling.

“Ji, stop it!” Your giggles only increase when his kisses do, leading him to drop your hands and place his on your waist instead.

“I missed you. I’m sorry I didn’t answer; I wanted to keep up the bit of scaring you.” He says after giving you a big cheek kiss and pulling you closer to his chest.

You can’t stop the giddy smile forming on your face. “It’s okay. Just never scare me like that again or I will—” you point your pointy finger on his chest, almost in warning, creating some space between you two, “cut your balls off.”

But he pays no mind to your threat, smiling down at you like a loser in love. “Yes, ma’am. Never again.”

You encircle your arms around his waist, looking up at him doe-eyed. “Now, can we please go home and watch comfort movies?”

“Can I first admire how fuckin’ gorgeous you look in this and then go home?”

Oh. You forgot you had this costume on.

Your cheeks heat up at his words. “Language, Park. You could’ve admired this all you wanted earlier if you didn’t leave me alone the whole night.”

He pouts, “Will I at least see this costume some other time, baby?”

"Hmm.” You pretend to think. “I guess, you just have to wait and see.”

“Why wait when I can see it on you tomorrow?” There's a glint in his eyes, and you know it can only mean trouble.

“Easy, drummer boy.”

Little did he know that his almost insulting prank on you sparked an idea in your head. But it’s best to save that for next year, right?

You guess, with Park Jisung by your side, you wouldn’t mind waiting another year to see what other Halloween pranks he has in store for you.

309 notes · View notes

vifilms · 8 months ago

Text

❝ DO YOU FEEL ASHAMED? ❞ ✶ ELLIE WILLIAMS !

★⠀warning y disclaimers — eighteen+, ex!ellie, heavy angst, cheating, heartbreak, moving on, reader going through it, no happy ending y'all, this one has a little kick, ellie is a bit of a dirtbag in this, next time i write for her it'll be the most fluff.

RAYNE RAMBLES ★ wrote this last year after getting cheated on and it's just been sitting in my docs, forever. enjoy my pain?? idk, possible abby x reader sequel

ex!ellie who avoids you for a very long time after the breakup. she wishes it could be amicable between the two of you too, but it can't be. it never will be. ellie made sure of it. all of her belongings are still littered across your apartment, though her scent is gone, you still see her everywhere. you can't bring yourself to remove the framed photos of the two of you hanging across your home. she was happy, or so you thought, and you were. but today was the day. you were letting all of it go and her with it. your roommate had taken it all down for you, the strength to remove the past three years of your life just couldn't be found.

ex!ellie who doesn't really want to think about the way you'll look at her. her emerald eyes were always your favorite, you used to go on about how much you love them. how soft they looked at you, the light shining beneath them whenever she said something stupid and ellie just waited for your giggle or a hint of it anyway. they used to be kind to you, careful, even calm but it didn't seam to be the case anymore. ellie knew you wouldn't be either — not after she’s hurt you. carelessly, abusing your kind-hearted spirit, turned you to something resembling unbridled rage with a large dosage of resentment.

ex!ellie who is met with your roommate instead of you, before the door is slammed in her face. she expects to be met with sharp behavior. there wasn't a shadow of a doubt she did. ellie just wished it wasn't your best friend who she fucking hated. ellie never liked them. they never liked her and now she didn't have to hide it. what ellie couldn't stand was that they were right about her. three years in and instead of doing the decent thing, ellie chose to betray you. those closest to you were going to protect you from the enemy at all costs. the only you trust the most and cut you the deepest. as much as she despised it, it was all true.

ex!ellie who eventually gets you, after you hear her voice carelessly arguing with your friend. you place a box at the entry in front of her feet, before you walk away. ellie peaks through one foot in the door, but then you're already back with the second box. ellie can see the tears in your eyes and you see the guilt in hers. almost shining brighter than the shame. she knows how much it hurts you, her being here, being so close but so unimaginably far away it makes you want to hurl.

ex!ellie who watches you breathe deeply, your hands clenched into fists. before you're rubbing them at drained eyes, dark circles underneath them. she's to blame for everything you're going through. if she had just been honest from the beginning, maybe the two of you could've been friends and just left your love there. you were nothing but good to ellie, pure like white snow, and now the blood from her hands fell over you, staining you a violent red. you would never be pure again. no. not like before. you wouldn't ever blindly trust anyone just because you simply fell in love. putting yourself out like this again? no, you couldn't do it.

ex!ellie who tries to speak with you, mouth open, but no words are able to come out. she tried her best to put off this moment, the confrontation of the aftermath, facing the fact she had treated you like an afterthought, but you were more than just a thought ellie had tried to push away. you were a person she had left abandoned. she had promised you the world and caved when the time came to give in. she become everything you feared she would be, tearing you in little shreds of yourself as you tried to piece back what she had broke.

"you look like you haven't slept." ellie states, not really a question, but she almost phrases it as one. she doesn't have a right to ask. the two of you know she's forfeited knowing you, your life, how you're doing — she's the one whose damned it all.

"i don't really. not right now at least." you look anywhere but her eyes, your eyes concentrating towards the freckles meticulously scattered along her shoulders, her cheeks, and along her button nose. “anyways, should be everything of yours. i’ll contact dina if anything else shows up.” your tone sharp, clearly cutting through.

there’s no malice when you utter her girlfriend’s name, but ellie senses you’ll reserve the tone of betrayal just for her. she’s the one who abandoned her commitment to you.

not dina.

“can we talk? please?” ellie flashes her beautiful puppy eyes at you, once would make you melt, now you feel like throwing up.

“ellie.” there is it is, ellie thinks, betrayal and brutality laced in the voice who promised her a future. there once had been one, house, kids, a ring. it seems so silly now. it’s a warning the way you speak to her. don’t push your luck, williams.

she’s with dina. why does she even care?

she’d never seen you so upset, so vengeful, so tired of her. you weren’t lying when you never said you never wanted to see her again. every single beat of your heart meant it, the emotion cut off when you spoke to her, how you looked at her with this cold look in your eyes. arms crossed over your chest as if looking at her is the most taxing task in the world.

ellie was supposed to not care. she couldn’t, yet it bothered her you clearly didn’t.

“i have nothing i want to say, especially to you.” you bark, for the first time, ellie fears there might be a bite.

“i-i know i fucked up, okay? i just can’t stand the thought of you fucking hating me.” ellie pleads, a longing look in her eyes.

“well, i never thought i would, so i guess we’re all evolving and changing into horrible people.” you roll your eyes at her, watching as she struggles to pick up the boxes laid at her feet.

you loath how much you want to help her, but don’t.

you can’t.

“you’re not horrible.”

“well, you are.” your insult slapped her right across the face, the burning sensation stung but what hurt more was knowing you meant every word.

“this isn’t fair, i know what i did was bad, but i told you the truth. i didn’t lie, i confessed. isn’t it worth for at least, i dont know, a little empathy? something?” ellie sighed deeply, shoulders tense from the altercation with you. “

“you didn’t tell me because you’re a honest person. it’s because i would have found out and you were scared.” you scoff. “fuck you. wanting brownie points for admitting you cheated? go to hell.”

“what else could i have done? it was already too late.” ellie admits, shame laced in her eyes. you hope she feels every bit of shame for all the hell she’s put you through.

“i wonder why it was too late?” your sarcasm slicing through the air. ellie finally managed to get a grasp on boxes in her shaky hands as she tried to not crumble under your death glare from hell. “i was the last one to show up at the party to your new fucking relationship. huh, guess i would be one not invited? some weird fucking placeholder until you found something better. right under my fucking nose.”

she deserves every bit of it.

painfully, you were met with silence. ellie couldn’t do anything, apologize in a way she hadn’t before, beg for forgiveness, grovel for your compassion.

you were too angry, too heated, too fucking hurt. there’s only a split second of it, ellie almost missed it, but she saw it clearly. the gloomy blues hidden beneath your beautiful eyes, slowly becoming more evident. you’re trying your best to hide it beneath anger, mask it from her, but she sees it.

tears building the more your voice escalates and ellie would truly hate herself if she made you cry in front of her, again. she’s can’t see you do it again. it’s the last thing she wants. she can’t keep hurting you.

dina, fuck. she has to protect her. ellie’s unsure if you’ll lash out on here. you haven’t yet, but breakups pull the worst out of you and she’s fearful for the women she does love.

“just…don’t take it out on dina, alright? if you wanna be mad, fine. as much as i wish i could fix it, i know nothing i can say or do will earn your trust back. okay?”

your heart breaks at her instinct to protect dina, how she used to do the same for you. it nearly splits you into an abyss, cracking your soul just where she had nicked it. almost seemed intentional at this point.

“i would never be mean to her. she didn’t promise me a future together, you did. hope you have lovely fucking life with her.”

ex!ellie who is met with the wooden door being slammed in her face, nearly kissing her chin. she stayed there long enough to hear you cry, sitting on the concrete to hear the consequences of loving someone else who wasn’t her girlfriend, well now ex. she craved to punch something, someone. you whined, a name quietly dropped from your perfect lips, abby, your fucking best friend. she would be the one to comfort you, pick up the pieces of the wreckage ellie had left you with. it scorned her, letting a flame loose on her skin, with the thought of you with her. but she didn’t get to have feelings, she couldn’t be upset with how you chose to reassemble your sanity. not when she’s the one who broke you. even if it’s with the woman she always feared you love more than a friend.

DAILY CLICK + DONT BUY TLOU + DONATE

#AHHHH PAIN ?#GO AWAY ???!!!?????#yeah ... </3 #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #tlou #the last of us #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams fanfiction #tlou2 #ellie williams angst

613 notes · View notes

kissmetwicekissmedeadly · 4 months ago

Text

MIDNIGHT CINDERELLA MEMORIAL POST

The Midnight Cinderella app will be closed on Monday August 26th, 2024 (5 PM JST). The English version was actively updated from 2014 to 2021 when Cybird announced the ceasing of operations for MidCin, but the app remained accessible until today. I'm sure I'm not the only one who mourns the loss of it even after all these years of discontinuation, so I wanted to put together a post to properly say goodbye to it. Trying my best not to make it all too sappy - I'd rather look at it as a show that reached its final episode. Some things might be left unresolved but in the end, you remember the cast and the emotions they made you feel more than the actual plot. Nowadays there arguably may be better titles by Cybird out there, but for me, the simplicity of MidCin was what made the details so memorable.

1. VIDEO - POV: You're playing Midnight Cinderella (for 10 minutes)

The 10-minute version (without sound) is accessible via the link above (opens in Google Docs) This one I was really excited about recording! It's just your normal day playing midcin, I'm sure many will find it nostalgic and comforting. You log in, claim your daily bonus (I used the chance to do a present box reveal, 90+ items, many of which you might recognize from route grace checks), play the garden gacha (in my case, I used up all the points I had accumulated, 7800 which equals 39 solos), do your princess lessons, change your avatar, greet your friends, read 1/5 of today's free story parts, check the ranking and your stats, look at your memories directory. The video has no sound, as the game wouldn't let me turn it on (you will see me try to do so throughout the video...) but later on I got it to work so I recorded a one-minute video (the one imported above) of me replenishing stamina just for those iconic sound effects that you either loved or absolutely couldn't stand the volume of, haha.

2. A Midnight Cinderella playlist (spotify link)

While I wasn't there for the early days of midcin, the songs I associated with the game almost always captured this very specifically nostalgic 90s-10s period, you'll see what I mean. Many of those are taken from 8track playlists dedicated to Midnight Cinderella, and if I'm not mistaken you can still look at what is left of them if you search them up. Others are just my very random interpretations of the route stories and the characters.

3. Fic recommendations

We have a lovely community of creatives and there are still so many works left behind which you can check out on the tags! But especially for fics I wanted to list some that truly touched me during the years (all links open in ao3) -

i'm on fire and its NSFW bonus scene bloodstream by a deleted user - words are not enough for this one. It's like it meant more than Nico's whole route for me at one point, and the songs are forever in my heart as Nico songs...

MidCin Works by DBMidCin (SoftSen) - ALL of these. This is my go-to collection of writings for midcin when I start to miss the game, it has a little bit of everything. The headcanon of Giles teaching his girls French for instance is one of the things I still remember reading like it was yesterday!

Bedroom Etiquette (NSFW) by RubyLeeRay - Because this is the dream. Doing something forbidden with your tutor Giles is the ultimate fantasy, I swear. I just love it.

And of course, many, many more. There are currently 166 works on the midcin tag in Ao3, and I'm sure there are a lot of hidden gems here on tumblr as well! Reminder that writers LOVE it when you interact with their old works, it's not weird, you shouldn't hesitate doing so if you find yourself enjoying any of them! <3

4. My own humble collection of MidCin writings on my writing blog @xxsycamore!

Maid, Butler, Chamberlain (NSFW) - Nico x MC with Giles joining them

Grabbles: 💋 Demand for a kiss, right here, right now (GILES); 👔 Stealing their clothes to cuddle when you miss them (BYRON); more coming soon as there are still some in my askbox and I plan on including midcin in future short writings request openings too.

Shared Moments (NSFW) - Nico x Reader - Secret relationship

Ice-cold heat (NSFW) - Byron x Reader - Temperature play

Double the Surprise - Alyn and Leo birthday fic

Leo Crawford having a misadventure with a cat (ao3 link) - crack fic featuring most of the suitors

5. Out of context Midnight Cinderella screenshots

This is a sideblog of mine dedicated to posting out-of-context funny screenshots that I took while playing the routes - @oocmidcin . If you have some of your own that are not on there, you're free to submit them and add to the archive!

6. The perfect MidCin song - The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives

When I first discovered this song back in 2020 I dreamed of making it into a midcin music video with simplistic art and animations... It ended up being just something you daydream in detail about while in the car, but that's alright. I could at least share my vision with you! Disclaimer, this is just an interpretation and obviously it can't fit all characters ideally - In the brackets, I explain how the lyric is related to them and usually it reveals their backstories. Some of the details I've already forgotten, sorry if it's inaccurate.)

Tell me once again

I could have been anyone, anyone else

Before you made the choice for me

(Giles - his family making the choice for him since birth and later disowning him once he failed to become a knight due to his illness)

My feet knew the path

We walked in the dark, in the dark

I never gave a single thought to where it might lead

(Nico - wandering the streets with his mother once they were thrown out of Stein castle because she was a commoner having an affair with Byron's father, the King)

All those empty rooms

We could have been anywhere, anywhere else

Instead I made a bed with apathy

(Robert - the empty rooms of the once flourishing palace of the country that Robert ruled and led to demise, nowadays becoming a mere court painter)

My heart knew the weight

Ten years' worth of dust and neglect

We made our peace with weariness and let it be

(Leo - the years in which Alyn didn't speak to him, after the death of their parents)

The moon will sing a song for me

I loved you like the sun

Bore the shadows that you made

With no light of my own

(Albert - loyally standing in king Byron's shadow)

Name your courage now

We could have had anything, anything else

Instead you hoarded all that's left of me

(Sid - his relationship with his fiance that he agreed upon just to find out more about his parents by getting close to her father)

Swallowing your doubt

Like swords to the pit of my belly

I want to feel the fire that you kept from me

(Alyn - searching for answers about the murder of his family and the fire that burnt down their home)

I shine only with the light you gave me

(I could have been anyone, anyone)

(Louis - being a nobody and MC being his sun)

7. It goes on

I went to read what I could of chapter 4 of Rayvis' route, using my last two chapter tickets as well, thinking it won't make me cry. And then I'm hit with those familiar things.

So let's close this with a word about the things that never change in the universe of Midnight Cinderella.

Stumbling down the grand staircase and right into the arms of somebody. Escaping the palace at midnight with Nico's help. Sitting at breakfast with Giles giving you your schedule for the day. Nico's teasing little smile as he accompanies you everywhere and listens to your relationship troubles. The way he's just a little suspicious at times. Finding Robert painting in the garden of Wysteria palace. Going to the room of your chosen suitor for the first time and meeting a pet there. Leo teaching you history and politics in his office. Dance lessons with Louis. Needing those dance lessons because King Byron is coming to Wysteria and a ball is going to take place. The bureaucrats being unhappy with you as a princess elect, no matter what. Galloping on a horse with Alyn who just protected you from an enemy attack. Getting information from a certain flirty merchant at a bar. Albert bickering with Nico, Sid teasing Louis. Being introduced to Archduke Herneit at Stein castle. King Byron appreciating the night sky. The sight of your yellow and orange princess elect room where on the large bed with its blue bedframe and tall see-through canopy you lie awake and think about the events of the day and how would a wise future Queen of Wysteria deal with the current situation. But ultimately you fall asleep, hearing the melancholically beautiful sounds of a violin coming from somewhere deep within your dream, and leave it all to the following day.

Thank you for everything, Midnight Cinderella!

08/26/2024

#midnight cinderella #midcin #midnight cinderella giles #midnight cinderella byron #midnight cinderella sid #cybird #otome #otome games #midnight cinderella nico #midnight cinderella alyn #midnight cinderella leo #midnight cinderella albert #midnight cinderella robert #midnight cinderella rayvis #Spotify

234 notes · View notes

eureka-its-zico · 1 year ago

Text

Happy Birthday, Zoro

Synopsis: Zoro wasn't much for birthday's until he met you.

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader

Genre: fluffy, friends to lovers, (Zoro and Doc)

Words: 2.5K

A/N: I had to write something for the birthday boy before the day is over. It is probably the shortest thing I've written in a hot minute, but I hope it is still enjoyable. Much love, Jenn.

He’d let it slip one night while you’d all been celebrating Nami’s birthday. Of course, she’d asked for fireworks and pretty gifts. She’d also asked to play poker, but that was something you and the rest of the crew weren’t willing to talk about.

There was no way someone won every single time.

Cheating aside, the one thing that Zoro could agree on was the booze. You’d both been sent out to pick it up. Who better than the resident alcoholic on the ship to know what a good brand was?

What you hadn’t expected was for him to basically pull you out of your reading nook in the galley. You could still feel the way his fingers had snaked around to grip the inside of your arm. Two seconds later, he was lifting you up and out of your spot with your book almost fumbling to the floor.

“Zoro-“

“Come on, Doc, you're coming with me.”

“You could’ve asked!” You huffed.

You were well aware that Zoro was still holding onto your arm. You were also well aware that he was much closer than usual making it hard for you to remember that you were mad at him. Big mad because you were just getting to the good part in your book.

“I am asking.”

Gods. He said it like a fact. His face was as smooth as stone and unblinking.

This was your Zoro. Master of having zero tact.

“Asking is with words, you ass.”

“Yeah, I don’t do that.”

“I’ve noticed.”

And with that, he took it as you conceded to go with him into town. In part, it was probably for the best. Zoro’s people skills were nonexistent and you and Sanji frequently had to apologize for him.

While the trip to town was enjoyable, what made it the best was the way Zoro changed around you. It wasn’t an astronomical change. He didn’t talk a whole lot more or say fewer things that reminded you he was an asshole (but he was your asshole so…) or be less broody. What he did was smile more.

They ranged from the small smirks he did when you were talking. Your animated hand movements with every other word as you weave a deep story for him or an excessive explanation on why using chopsticks for hair pins was an ingenious idea. You wondered if Zoro himself even realized he was doing it. But your all-time favorite?

It was when he smiled brighter than any star in the sky. His entire face lit up and chased back all the broody darkness he usually wore like armor. So, while you were upset to be torn from your book, you knew you would much rather be here in town with him.

When you arrived at the store Zoro immediately asked for samples. Two of everything. You thought he meant for himself, but felt complete terror widen your eyes when he slid one over to your place beside him at the bar. The only response you got was a raised brow and a smirk he quickly covered with the edge of his glass.

“What? Can steal a man’s glass from a dinner table but not an offered one?”

“Excuse me. I only did that because I knew you wanted it.”

“Hmmm. So, if I vocally say I don’t want you to drink with me, you’ll drink?”

You took a sniff of the amber liquid poured into the glass and felt your eyebrows curl up in retreat.

“This smells like regret,” you informed him with your eyes looking over the rim of the glass at his very striking figure.

This man was insane if he thought you were going to drink with him. You had no control over your mouth once you had one glass too many and you weren’t sure you could take responsibility for whatever your hands may, or may not, do. Especially since he was wearing another one of his gi’s, which suspiciously looked more untucked in the chest area than usual.

You were going to have to ask Nami if she might have spilled some secrets from a girls' night.

“There is no such thing as regret. Just a learning experience.”

“Yeah, no. That sounds like regret.”

He let out an annoyed sigh as he kicked back what was left inside the glass. The man didn’t even pull a face. He just casually swallowed it and placed the glass rim down first on the bar.

“That’s going to be a no.” He hummed to himself before he turned to look at you. “Look, Doc, I just want a second opinion on the booze. It’s for Nami’s special day or whatever.”

He had a point. You didn’t want Zoro picking something that was strong enough to melt the hair off a man’s chest, but you also didn’t want it growing any hair on anyone’s chest, either.

“Fair point.”

You took one last look at your glass before grabbing it and slamming back its contents. The regret was instant as it burned its way down your throat and boiled molten in your belly. You couldn’t keep from coughing as you tried to shoot daggers in his direction.

“You know what you learned there?” Zoro asked.

You were scared to ask but felt yourself coughing, “What?” regardless.

“You don’t like that one.”

Your hand lightly smacked him in the arm on a whim. You waited for him to turn and give you a death glare from the tap, but you were given a soft smile instead and was that- did Zoro just laugh?

He was already on his fifth glass and maybe that was why he was being so damn cute. Yeah, that was it. Zoro instantly became a lightweight.

You knocked back the second one in record time. This time, it didn’t burn as much as the first, but it still didn’t taste much better.

“I never understood the big deal about birthdays.” Zoro’s voice was deep in thought, his eyes roaming the inside of the empty glass of his sixth drink. “It’s just a day.”

A “Tsk,” pushed past your lips as you leaned over towards him. Your cheek rested on his arm as you looked up at him. It felt like it was taking forever for him to even glance down at you. You were about to poke him in his side to finally make him move when dark eyes fell down on your face.

Gods, you really needed to remember to breathe.

“It’s not just a day! It’s the day you were born. It’s not just to celebrate but to be grateful that you’re here. I’m grateful you’re here.”

You watched his Adam’s Apple bob in his throat. The way his eyes flashed with something you weren’t used to seeing made a question form on your tongue but before you could ask it, Zoro looked away and back at the table. His hand wrapped around a new glass and quickly emptied its contents.

“Come on, we still have a lot of booze to get through.”

It wasn’t until the two of you were squeezed into a booth, all of the booze gone, and your head resting on his shoulder, with Zoro’s head resting on yours, that he mentioned it again.

“I don’t think I’ve ever celebrated my birthday before,” he hummed. His fingers were playing with the hem of the pocket on your cargo pants. “But if I did. I want it to be with you.”

It felt silly that just a few words could make your heart race like it did. It was the booze, you’d reminded yourself. You’d both drunk enough to tranquilize a sea beast. Zoro would never just mumble things like this to you, resting his head on yours like he did.

That day Zoro didn’t say more than that and you didn’t press him. Not that you could, anyways. You couldn’t even remember the walk back to the Merry. The night of Nami’s birthday, in the middle of the fireworks, you’d both been sitting on the deck. Your eyes cast up to the explosion of color that painted the sky.

“November.”

“What?”

A finger stroked the neck of the bottle he’d been nursing. His wrist found a comfortable spot on his knee as he leaned back on his palm. It was enough to look natural - enough to not bring attention to the fact this position easily put him shoulder-to-shoulder beside you.

“My birthday it’s…it’s in November. If you are curious.”

July came and went. August and September. You practically counted each day in each month and hated how it seemed to go so fast, but not fast enough. You’d planned and had every idea of how you were going to give him one of the best birthdays ever.

You’d already bought his favorite whiskey and gave it a cute little bow. You’d even asked Sanji to show you how to make a cake. You practiced tirelessly with Sanji watching you every step of the way. So, you couldn’t understand how or why your cake looked like a deflated balloon.

“Did you overbeat the flour?”

Sanji was leaning back against the counter. A hand covering his mouth because you knew he was either smiling or frowning or a mixture of both. The towel he’d used to clean up your earlier spill rested over his shoulder.

“I don’t know,” you groaned into your hands.

“It’s alright. It’s not the time to panic-“

“It is the perfect time to panic! I don’t have time to try and redo the cake, Sanji.”

The day was almost over. Zoro had spent the majority of it out with Luffy. You’d been waiting for them both to come back and when they did, it was night. You weren’t sure how many hours were left in the day for you to do this, but you knew you didn’t have a lot of time left.

“Can you hand me a cookie cutter?”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m gonna improvise.”

You used the cookie cutter to find the best part of the cake and cut out a piece. You slammed on maybe too much frosting and quickly went and grabbed your present from your room. It might have been a good idea to change since you were practically wearing most of the cake ingredients on your clothes.

It was too late to change anything. You were already in front of his door and with the tip of your boot knocked as gently as you could. You could hear the slightest sounds of Zoro moving around inside—a groan and what sounded like a few choice words grumbled right after.

You weren’t ready for what greeted you.

Zoro swung open the door and all your brain functions ceased. He was shirtless. The scars Mihawk had given him were fully on display along with every ridiculous muscle definition known to man. His hair was haphazard from sleep, eyes still struggling to focus, with pants hung low at his hips. You weren’t sure if you should be thankful or happy. One thing was for sure. You almost dropped your cake.

“Oh, hey Doc. What’s up?”

Fuck. Was his voice always so unnecessarily rich like this when he woke up? You weren’t sure why, but you panicked and practically shoved the items towards his face.

“Surprise!”

He looked from your would-be birthday cake and the bottle of whiskey with a bow and back to you.

“What is this for?”

“Your birthday, silly.”

That seemed to wake him up and not in a good way. He quickly reached out and pulled you inside. He shut the door behind you and if it weren’t for the bit of moonlight that showed through his window, you both would’ve been consumed by darkness.

Zoro moved forward and you remembered you were in a dimly lit room with him. With a tight smile on your face, you lifted the cake and repeated, “Surprise!”

“You said that already.”

“True but this time it didn’t result in you pulling me anywhere. I brought matches too so you could blow out the candle on your cake.”

Zoro took one look at your cake and all that grumpy energy he held from being woken up disappeared. It was replaced with a soft grin as he looked from the cake to you.

“Why is it in the shape of a Christmas tree?”

“Let's not focus on the details. Oh, and this is for you too!”

Yes, you were nervous. Yes, this was the first time you’d been inside his room like this, but everything was fine. It was fine. So, there wasn’t any real reason why you almost slammed the bottle into his chest. Zoro didn’t seem to mind the small impact as his eyes landed on the label.

“It’s my favorite one.”

“I know. It took me a while to find it. Come on. Come sit.”

You moved to sit on the edge of his bed. Your fingers went to dig the matchbox out of your pocket, and as soon as you got it out, strike one to light up the candle. You carefully lifted the plate back up in your hands as Zoro sat down beside you. The soft glow of the candle made all the hardness of his jaw and cheeks appear softer and the plushness of his lips more inviting. Everything about Zoro appeared different in the soft illumination of the candle and you wished you could draw it to memory.

A smile that was big and genuine lifted the corners of your mouth. Your hands held up the plate at the best angle between you as you softly said, “Happy Birthday, Zoro. Make a wish.”

Zoro tried to shake away the smirk that started to form before he leaned forward and blew out his candle. You turned to place the plate on the barrel beside the bed.

“Are you going to ask me what I wished for?”

You froze in place. Your heart suddenly beat wildly against your chest as you struggled to swallow past your racing pulse. You hoped when you turned back around to face him you didn’t look terrified.

“It’s usually bad luck to ask,” you replied.

“Ask.”

“What did you wish for, Zoro?”

“You.”

You weren’t prepared for Zoro to close the last few inches between you. For his hand to weave his fingers into your hair while his other gripped your waist. Those last few moments of sanity you had before he pressed his lips against yours evaporated the minute he touched you.

Maybe you’d been his true present all along.

-----------

As always, thank you for reading. Comments, reblogs, and likes are always appreciated.

__________

#roronoa zoro #zoro #one piece zoro #opla zoro #zoro roronoa x reader #roronoa zoro x reader #zoro x reader #opla zoro x reader #opla zoro x you #roronoa zoro x you #roronoa zoro x oc #one piece #one piece live action #op

922 notes · View notes

clanwarrior-tumbly · 7 months ago

Note

"You could have warned me!" With Harvey? 💛

Finally trying my hand at writing the doc <3

......

"There are monsters in the volcano that spit fire??? You could have warned me! Had I know you were going to venture there I-!"

"Harvey, honey, it wasn't that bad-"

"Then what's this second degree burn I am treating, hm?" The doctor simply gave you a semi-scolding look as he bandaged your bicep. You got a nasty burn from a mischievous Lava Lurker who caught you by surprise while exploring the volcano dungeon on Ginger Island.

You thought you deflected all of the beast's fireballs, but alas one managed to slip by your defenses and nearly scorch your skin off.

At the time it didn't hurt, although of course when your boyfriend asked if you were okay after leaving the dungeon....it began hurting like a bitch, and he had you rushed back to town to get it fully examined.

It made you feel a little bad, knowing Harvey just wanted to spend a relaxing day at the resort--even though you had to remind him that his worry over people stepping on glass or not applying sunscreen defeated the whole purpose of his "vacation."

You helped ground him, but at the same time became the reason he was gonna get a few extra grey hairs pretty soon. He learned you went to the volcano and found not only Slimes...but more monsters like flying fireballs, living mushrooms, and other creepy creatures.

He doesn't know how you could face any of them. He surely couldn't and wouldn't.

This was the first time you've come to his clinic with burns this severe.

"First the mines, then the skull caverns..and now this?" Harvey shuddered, overlooking your other injuries with profound worry. "And here I was..worried that you'd be coming out with heatstroke. What's in that volcano anyways?"

"A forge to enchant my weapons." You answered, gesturing to your weapon propped against the wall. "The dwarf living there told me all about it. I had to get past all ten floors to access the gate, slay some magma creatures for the guild, use my watering can to make bridges across the lava...oh, and I found a dragon tooth made of iridium among...."

"......"

"Harvey, I know that look..." Sighing, you brushed a hand over the bandages he placed on you, before gazing back at him. "I promise I don't let monsters go after me on purpose."

"[Y/n]. I just...I want you to be safe out there." He wringed his hands together, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. "All these injuries will add up...and they will take a toll on your body. And if it happens when you're in a bad place where I can't help you, then I...I-I just....I don't know what I'll-"

"Harvey."

You rested a hand on his knee, causing your poor boyfriend to jolt out of his ramblings in fright, seeing his wide-eyed stare and hints of tears gathering behind his glasses.

It made you feel all the more guilty for stressing him out this much. You honestly don't mean to.

"I know my limits better now thanks to you, and I always pack life elixirs before going into any monster-infested cave." You gave him a reassuring smile, taking his hands into yours. "I won't let anything bad happen to me, okay?"

"...okay, as long as you're keeping your word, I..I trust you." Harvey shakily returned the smile, his ahoulders relaxing. He was glad you were taking his advice.

Of course, he couldn't convince you to abandon spelunking and monster hunting altogether. He'd feel terrible for even suggesting that when it's been such a strong passion of yours since moving into the valley.

He only hopes that whatever you do in that scary dungeon, you carry it out with extreme caution.

Yoba only knows how devastated he'd be if you winded up in the emergency room again..in worse shape than last time.

#clanask #sdv x reader #stardew valley x reader #sdv harvey #sdv harvey x reader #harvey x reader #angst/horror prompt

162 notes · View notes

kale-of-the-forbidden-cities · 6 months ago

Text

Della Vacker post

I made this doodle of her while i was supposed to be working on artfight refs, but not to worry! i finished those just in time today :>

notice the Vacker registry pendant and prime sources chain. Notice how anxious she looks!

and now for the playlist which will make more sense after you've read the headcanons. You don't have to think it's perfect or in character, that's okay, it's just stuff i came up with

and now under the cut is my 15 page google doc thoughts of Della Vacker, from when she started dating Alden to Legacy-ish?? warning i think they get worse as they go, don't focus on the stuff after book 1 time, i'm not sure if i like it as much as i do the other as far as writing and wording goes and stuff

if you do take the time to read this, comment on it as much as you want!!! it feels good when people point out specific parts hehe

TW: mentions of eating disorders and ~uncomfortable age gaps~

Alden and Della had sort of an arranged marriage, with Alden on Della's match lists when she was sixteen, and her parents saw and were delighted to see a Vacker as her number one, but Della tried to argue, saying he’s a hundred years older, but by the time Alden got his next list she was nineteen and invited to his Winnowing Gala. Della was standing among all these girls who were mostly at least 30 years older than her, and she was terrified. She didn’t feel good enough to be there. She felt out of place. But Alden’s parents seemed to really like her, though she couldn’t tell if that was because they actually did or if it was just because she and Alden were each other’s top matches. She felt super weird about it, and he felt weird about it too, but despite the age gap, they were kind of pressured into getting together.

And at first it was sooooooo awkward. They didn’t feel comfortable around each other, and Della still felt like a kid next to him. Not to mention the sheer perfection of him, and the other Vackers. This is where some other headcanons start coming in, with Della not feeling perfect enough, and she began to develop an eating disorder.

This whole thing is so stressful for her, but her parents are happy, and Alden seems happy, who is she to ruin it? She was once an enjoyer of gossip, but now she's part of it, there were speculations about her from the very first date with alden, and she's not used to it! She's not used to being in the spotlight!

Della: (surprised) I'm... I'm in the news?

Alden: Oh... Yes, that happens.

Della: ... But I only just started dating you- is- is that even public yet?

Alden: No, but we did go out yesterday...

Della: ... but I'm not a Vacker... I can't... (trails off)

Alden: ...

Della goes for a walk in Atlantis and feels everyone watching her, and she can't take it, she feels like she's crumbling under the pressure (even though not that many people were actually looking or saying or thinking anything bad, but she saw a few people glance her way, someone pointed at her and whispered) and she breaks down, tears start to well up, and she tries to get somewhere to be alone, but it's Atlantis, she can't just leap away, she has to go back the way she came, and she's crying and she can't breathe and people are really staring now and really talking about her and someone tries to come help but she doesn't think that's what they're there to do, she runs away, she's running through crowded streets until she finally makes it out, and once her bubble thing lets her go she sits on the ground and sobs.

And of course people saw this whole thing, and they were talking about her all over again, but this time it wasn't just speculation about her relationship with Alden, this time it was people saying she wasn't fit to be a Vacker, that she was unstable and unpredictable and mentally ill for... crying? Well then, she can't let anyone see her cry ever again.

And at some points she wishes Alden would leave her or break up with her or something but after the stories and stuff about her were published he just hailed her and asked if she was okay. And this was before she'd read them. He seemed to care about her, and Della just thinks she's bringing shame on him, but he assures her that she isn't, and it's okay, and that it will blow over and that there's no reason to worry.

She becomes very familiar with that phrase, and learns to take it to heart. She's okay. He's okay. Everything is okay. even when she feels like dying, even when she realizes she hasn't eaten in three days and almost passes out in public and she feels terrified whenever she goes out with him and everything feels like too much and goddamnit why won't he leave her what does he still see in her why couldn't she have just enjoyed her after-foxfire years normally why why why???

But then as Alden cares for her and he doesn't leave her and he smiles for real, his smile is so unlike all the pictures she's seen, it's so soft and small and hesitant and his eyes look so gentle and happy and oh prime sources, after three years she's really falling for him and oh no this is awful, she feels so conflicted. She wanted him to leave her but now she doesn't want to leave him.

After four years they finally share their first kiss, and it's... real.

It's by no means a long kiss, but it feels like forever, time slows as thoughts race through Della’s mind and she thinks oh no. And then they pull apart, and she's tearing up, and mentally beating herself up for it, which only makes her need to cry more, and she can't breathe but Alden doesn't seem to get it, he's confused, he looks hurt, he asks whats wrong, so she chokes it down and tells him she's okay, just... really happy. I get emotional, she says with a forced laugh.

And she accepts her fate.

She’s trapped.

Unless Alden ever has a sudden change of heart, she can't go anywhere.

Della was raised religious, but it wasn't nearly as strict as the Vackers. That's another thing she has to get used to - she has to carefully learn every ritual, all the history she might need to know, she doesn't want them to think she's not good enough. She has to fit into this family, and if she's a square in a circle hole, then she'll just have to cut off her own corners to fit.

She didn't really expect it to go this long - she had three boyfriends when she was in Foxfire, but they all went by super fast, obviously. And they were never serious. But Alden was serious. Her parents wanted her to be serious. the Vackers were serious.

Alden and Della obviously took things very very slowly, mostly due to the age gap and how uncomfortable they used to be around each other. They'd kissed twice after five years of dating, and it still feels so... new. They're careful in public, Della isn't herself anymore. She used to be so much happier. Now she's an empty shell, and sometimes life doesn't feel worth living.... but she's okay, she's okay, she's okay. There’s no reason to worry. Everything is perfect! She learns how to force a smile when people begin speculating about her mental health again... and she's not eating. She doesn't feel perfect enough. She hates her body, her face, her hair, she hates how ugly she feels standing next to Alden, her boyfriend, though that word feels wrong on her tongue. Even after a decade, she still messes up, says the wrong things and gets weird looks and she feels like the world could swallow her up, she could get murdered and it would be her fault.

Alden of course notices this, because, duh, he's not blind, but he doesn't know what to do. He waits for a few months, trying to let it pass because he's not good with words and... maybe if he pretends she's okay, she'll be okay. he just has to believe it and treat her as he has been - he does care, he just doesn't know what to do. He's trying to believe, but it's getting so hard to pretend because oh god she just collapsed in the middle of the room and she's not waking up and he's not very strong but he can pick her up easily and take her to the couch and he sits by her as he waits for a physician and he's trying so hard not to cry, but maybe she's worth crying over, he's so scared for her. Pretending everything was okay wasn't what she needed at all. He should have done something.

Della obviously ends up fine, but she doesn't talk to Alden about it. He apologizes and asks if she's okay, and she assures him he is, she says sorry, she promises to do better.

And she’s okay.

She takes a deep breath and forces herself to eat.

To prove she’s okay.

She even hides the scale from herself for a few months. She's okay.

Well, now that she knows her limits she can be even better than before.

Time flies by, and Alden and Della are closer than ever. They're not as close as the average couple that has been dating for a year, even though they've been together for ten, twenty, thirty. They love and care about each other, but there's.... something. Della gets better! She makes friends with some of Alden's friends, Grady and Edaline. They're also much older than her, but she's older now, too, so age shouldn't matter like it did when she was nineteen. Still, she feels the need to be polite in the same way she is to Alden's family. Despite that, it's... nice to be around them. To have conversations with Edaline while Alden is out, to have friends! She hasn't had those since the world started to judge her! Nobody wanted to be caught up in that kind of drama. She meets Edaline's sister, and they get along even better! Until she runs into her in the street and they talk for a while, and then the next day there's a picture of them in the news! Juline is a bad match, how could Della forget how could she mess up so badly how could she be so selfish to want anything for herself, how could she have slipped up like that!!!

She apologizes to Alden as soon as she sees him, then stops talking to Juline. Edaline has seen the article, and while this kind of thing doesn't matter to her, she understands why it would matter to Della. She's observant. She can tell that Della isn't okay. She and Juline talk, and they agree to let her go without asking questions. She clearly doesn't need more stress. Della is anxious to talk to Grady and Edaline for a bit after that, but when she does, they don't even bring up her suddenly cutting Juline off. Della wonders if she should bring it up, but she doesn't want to start trouble. So she pretends everything is fine and resists the urge to ask Eda how her sister is doing.

This would be the time where Della would start visiting the Forbidden Cities and learning how to defend herself - going to the human world is freeing, but it comes with its risks. She's cautious not to get caught, and she's careful not to get hurt while she's there. In the Forbidden Cities, nobody knows her. She learns both how to hold her Vanishing for a long time, but also how to resist the light passing through her with each step she takes. Humans definitely don't blink in and out of sight as they walk. She learns a human language (in my headcanon it's Spanish, which she later teaches to her kids, while Alden teaches them English). She’s interested in human culture.

Luzia gifts Everglen to Alden, and he has it rebuilt, because the pressure to make things permanent with Della is starting to grow - he's been in relationships before, and they've all gone by so fast compared to this one. He feels differently about Della, he's actually gotten to know her, he thinks he's seen her at her worst. Della hears the whispers about marriage and gets terrified. She could really be Radelle Vacker. It's not the name she tried on at thirteen, fantasizing about marrying into the family, just for fun. It's an actual possibility.

Della had been living in an apartment since her twenties, she never felt like she could handle getting attached to a house the way most elves do. Besides, she liked the limited space - there was less to do with it, less options, but so many ways to decorate and make it hers. Unlike everything else in her life. Just because she appreciates beauty and fancy things, well, it doesn't have to be big to be beautiful. That was her place of peace. But then... Alden suggested she move into Everglen with him, after it gets rebuilt. And how could she say no? She can't. She hasn't said no to Alden once in all these decades. Not like he was too sure of what to do, either. Their relationship was the best pace it could have been for the two of them. And so Della moves into Everglen, and... gives up her apartment. And Everglen is big. It makes her feel small and anxious. But she'll get used to it. One time she had to cross the house to get a cup of water in the middle of the night - it was so eerie. She kept a cup by her bed from then on.

Another thing she gave up was her trips to the Forbidden Cities. She still wanted to go, and definitely could have, but she just stopped being able to find the time to visit as frequently, and eventually stopped going altogether.

Now that they were living together, of course, people found out and started saying things and making more assumptions about Alden and Della's relationship, things that Della did not even feel nearly ready for - and they're not even married! They don't even share a room, let alone a bed! She feels kind of gross when she thinks about it for too long. but she's okay. She's getting good at this.

Until, to "celebrate" or whatever, Alden's parents suggest a family gathering at Everglen. Of course, Della is there. She already felt uncomfortable around Alden's parents, so she didn't expect it to go that well, but she wasn't expecting the sheer number of fancy intimidating and perfect Vackers that were there - she felt like scum next to them. And with the way some of them looked at her, she might as well have been. She made herself eat so they wouldn't go making assumptions about her health or mental well being, but after dinner, she excused herself and threw it all up in the bathroom. It wasn't even on purpose, she just felt that nauseous. She couldn't stay away for too long, though, because this was Alden's house, and being Alden's girlfriend, she'd surely be missed. So she gathers herself and returns for dessert, which she isn't able to stomach much of. She didn't notice until that night, but Alden seems so... stiff. And unnatural. Around the rest of his family. He's smiling, but that's not his smile. Della knows his smile! And she starts to wonder if Alden ever feels like she does. Despite how much he truly seems to belong here. Unlike she does.... she's not good enough.

And then Alden stands up and says he'd like to announce something, and he talks for a bit, then he mentions Della and she's forced to focus and listen and she doesn't even remember what he said, just that he wasn't looking at her, he was looking at his parents, while talking about her, and then he reached into his cape and turned around and kneeled down and

“Della, will you marry me?”

And she freezes up and everything stops and her heart pounds in her ears and she feels like she might throw up again and then she chokes up and looks Alden in the eyes and the tears come before she can stop them, but she doesn't stop them because.... people cry at proposals all the time. It's normal. It's... an emotional moment. That's why she's crying. She's just. so. happy.

So she covers her mouth with her hands and says what she knows she has to say.

“Yes.”

Except it's muffled and squeaky and choked so she nods to get her point across, she slowly stands up and steps towards Alden, and something in his eyes changes as he wraps his arms around her. Understanding, maybe? He's just as trapped as she is, isn’t he?

She cries into his chest, but they're definitely not happy tears. She can force a smile and pretend they are, but that doesn't make it any better. For a moment all she hears is herself sobbing and Alden's heartbeat, pounding much too hard for someone who could be truly at peace. Then the applause starts, and she cries harder, making herself feel even sicker. But this is the first time she's let tears fall in - no, has it really been a year? Has it been more? Less? She doesn't know. But it's been a while. And it's all coming out at once and the rush of hands clapping is taking over but she has to breathe. breathe. breathe. Alden rubs her back, and she focuses on that, she focuses on his smell.

And she breathes.

In, out.

She’s okay.

She’s crying, but she’s happy, right?

How could she be anything but happy?

She’s… engaged.

To Alden Vacker.

So many people would give anything for this. People would crash weddings for a chance at marrying Alden Vacker. The world envies her. She even loves Alden! And she knows she does!

So why isn’t she happy???

Where’s the feeling she’s been missing for so long?

She stands by the door as the Vackers leave, squeezing Alden's hand as she nods and smiles at each of the Vackers leaving. She's never even seen most of them. She recognizes Alden's parents, and of course Luzia Vacker, Fallon Vacker, Orem Vacker, and a few others she's read about in elvin history. She really is a part of them now.

But she doesn’t feel good enough.

Her smile falls as soon as the last ones leave, and Alden isn't looking at her, and they need to talk about what to do, they need to talk about what happened, they need to celebrate, they need to...

Alden speaks up first.

And he says,

“I’m sorry.”

And he walks away.

Della stares after him, feeling the light pass through her. She doesn't know how to feel. Alden just apologized... for proposing to her? She should feel hurt, but... she gets it. She's sorry, too.

She goes back over to the table to clean up all the plates left there, with the intent of getting her mind off of things, but... it's a giant table. It's overwhelming. She sits down and takes a half empty glass of wine that isn't even hers. She takes a deep breath and releases it in a long, slow, sigh.

She doesn't even finish the glass, but she feels sick like she's had five or ten. Or, she feels like what she thinks it'd be like? She's never actually gotten drunk, but she knows it can make you throw up. In any case, she knows she will not be getting drunk tonight. She needs to keep it together. She's okay.

The next morning, they act like they normally do, but they both know of the unspoken tension, the hurt and guilt and shame because of that disaster of a proposal that neither of them wanted to do yet. Especially not like that, in front of the Vackers. Della used to fantasize about her dream proposal - it would have been somewhere beautiful, maybe under the stars, remote and quiet. Certainly not in a well-lit room with every Vacker looking at her. She imagined tears, but she also imagined being happy. She imagined looking into her lover's eyes and smiling softly, and kissing them. Not whatever happened last night.

But who is she to complain...

For a week, they try to pretend everything is like it was, like it has been... But then they both realize that it will never go back. They can’t go back. So they start planning the wedding. And we all know how that went.

If you look closely in pictures taken when Alina was trying to get Alden to run away with her, you might see a glimmer of hope and desperation in Della's eyes, mixed with the shock and anxiety that was there already. For a moment Alden looked like he was about to leave and go with her - but then he snapped out of it. He was being beguiled.

Of course, it could have just been the angle of the picture that painted that look on Della's face.

The Vackers are all freaking out after the wedding, but most pin the blame on Alina alone, and most are pleased with the end result of it - and they almost seem genuine when they smile at Della now. For once she's done something right? Do they think she handled it well?

And honestly? Della is much happier in the week following the wedding - it's their "honeymoon period," in which they mostly just stay in Everglen where it's quiet and the world can't get to them. They invite Grady and Edaline over for tea, but that's the extent of their social interaction. For a short while. Then they're expected to go back to normal. They have to go out to work, they have to talk to people, and of course endure the speculation on what other things they could have been doing during that time.

Now Alden and Della aren't great at communication but at this point with all the rumors and expectations to continue the Vacker family line, they do have to talk about it at some point. They just.... might procrastinate a bit.

Until finally, Della is the one to bring it up.

She asks if he wants kids and he blinks, then says he doesn't know. He asks if she does, because if she does, he'll go along with it, of course. But she says she doesn't know either. They sit there at the table for a few minutes, neither looking at the other. They're not used to talking or making decisions together. Most of their decisions had been made for them until now.

So they wait a bit longer, until the pressure from their families and society becomes too much and they agree that they do want kids, even though they're still not sure. Except they've never even slept in the same bed... so they start there. And it's nice, actually. They no longer feel awkward just being around each other, and sometimes they cuddle, without saying anything. They'll lay down, and by morning Della is curled up in his arms and they're sharing a blanket. It's nice.

But they know they have to take it a step further eventually... and there's a big difference between cuddling fully clothed and... having a child. The last time Della had ever done anything remotely sexual was when she was a teenager, and Alden has even less experience. They don't even feel comfortable changing with the other there. They don't know how they're going to do this.

Okay, so they think, "well, Grady and Edaline have a kid, maybe we should talk to them.” And so they do! Which is like, really big for them, opening up and communicating and talking about their relationship with someone else - it's big. And scary. But... they're in the same boat. They're in this together. And soon, almost a year after they said they would... They have a child.

Both of them are really scared, because they didn't exactly have the best relationship with their own parents or the best childhood, and when Della finds out she's pregnant, she tells Alden immediately, and... he cries. He tries to pretend he's just happy, but Della has pulled that trick too many times for it to work on her. She sits by him, takes his hand, closes her eyes, and quietly admits that she's terrified. She tells him her fears about not being a good parent, and Alden is nodding along. He feels the same. He takes her hand, kisses her forehead, and promises that they'll do this together. But they have to talk about things, just like they're talking now. Della touches his cheek, wiping off a tear, and says, "I like it when we talk like this. It feels good." she leans on him, and he holds her.

And Della learns to take better care of herself, because it's not just her. She's actually eating every day, especially since Elwin noticed that she was a bit underweight when he first checked her. She grows more and more anxious the more time passes, and is constantly hailing Edaline to ask if x thing is normal for pregnancy. Edaline helps calm her by telling her baby stories about Jolie. She even gives her some of Jolie's old baby things, and Della is very grateful. Alden is just as stressed, and spends lots of time taking care of Della and figuring out what to prepare. When it was too early in the pregnancy to really start setting up a room yet, he tried to baby proof the entirety of Everglen, which is obviously impossible with all the wide staircases and tile floors and fancy crystal and sharp corners. But he tried. He settled for baby proofing the part of the house where Alvar's room was going to be, right by Alden and Della's room, then adding a baby gate in the hallway. This was not his idea, he was still trying to do the whole house when Edaline had to stop him.

Grady and Edaline bring Jolie over a lot and she tells them all about all the stuff that used to be hers, and when they knew Alvar's gender they let her help choose names. Being a brutally honest child (I think like 9 or 10, correct me if I'm wrong) she made a face at one of the names Alden suggested.

Of course, preparing for Alvar wasn't the only thing stressing Della out. They tried to keep it on the down low for a while, but of course the world found out about Della being pregnant. And there were so many predictions and speculation and people were even bringing up her "mental health struggles" (not that she doesn't have those, but they literally just saw her crying in public once) and wondering how she could be a good parent and how her child would turn out as an adult. Edaline saw how this was getting to her and told her to stop reading them so she wasn't as stressed, and finally convinced her by saying it'd be better for the baby if she could like. chill out a bit.

And then Alvar is born, and everyone cries, and yes, Della is stressed and anxious and scared but they are happy tears! She can't help but smile as she looks at Alvar, so small and fragile and she wants to shield him from the harsh reality of the world. Alden seems almost scared to hold him, like he's afraid he'll break him if he messes up or does something wrong. He sits down by Della so she can help him make sure he does it right. Grady, Edaline, and Elwin are there to help if needed. Jolie is at Brant's house (I believe they’ve met by now). Della closes her eyes and breathes, and the moment is so... perfect. really, truly, perfect.

For a long time, things are great! they really couldn't be better... Alden and Della aren't perfect at parenting, but they're doing their best. They're managing a balance between their work and family fairly well. Like I said, they're not perfect. They do mess up. A lot. And they're super hard on themselves. But... they're trying. Alvar is growing up fairly happy, and when Jolie is old enough, she (and sometimes Brant) babysit him sometimes. Alden and Della are closer than ever with Grady and Eda, and Jolie, too. For the Vackers, the Ruewens are the first example of a healthy family that they've gotten to see.

Now, they say all good things must come to an end.

Della is the happiest she’s been. Ever.

And then Jolie dies.

Everything fell apart then. the Ruewens were like family to Della and Alden, and Jolie was almost like a daughter or niece to them. And for Alvar? She had been a part of his life before he was even born. His special stuffie belonged to her, and he couldn't even fully grasp the concept of death yet. He kept asking where Jolie was, and Della couldn't explain it to him. Alden couldn't either, he'd never been good with words. Della had to keep telling him that she went away and she's not coming back, trying to explain death while still reeling from the shock of the news herself. At one point she got up and locked herself in the bathroom for a while, away from Alvar's questions and away from everything. Alden spent most of his days in his office, working. Della, on the other hand, had to take a break from work for a while. She knew the moment she left Everglen, she would be judged for grieving, grieving wrong, not grieving enough - whatever she did, it would be wrong. And it wasn't even her child who died. She wanted to comfort or help Edaline and Grady somehow, but she couldn't. She couldn't even get out of bed for a while. Alden didn’t really know this, because he'd been sleeping in his office.

All of this really affects Alvar's little child brain, but we can talk about his trauma another time. The planting happens, and the Vackers are right at the front. Alvar has finally gone quiet, and he seems to realize that she's really not coming back. He tries to go over to Brant after the proceedings, but he's kinda... unstable. Alden tells him it's time to go, so Alvar gives Brant a hug and goes back to his parents.

Even though they got that bit of closure, they're still broken. There's a wound that cannot be healed. A hole that cannot be filled. Della's mental health plummets, and for a bit, there is nobody taking care of Alvar. He plays alone in his room until he gets bored and goes to his parents room, where Della is usually curled up in bed, thinking too much and not thinking at the same time. Alden comes in one night and lays down next to her, reaching out his hand like they did when they were still figuring out how to be comfortable together. Della places her hand on top of his, and they sit there for a long time. Alvar comes in and crawls between them, placing his tiny hand on top of Della's. The three of them fall asleep there.

Slowly, they recover. In a year they're seemingly okay again. But nothing is the same. Della and Alden are more distant from both each other and Alvar. And the wound never healed, only scarred over.

And whether that feeling of something missing affected their decision to have another child is up to speculation, but they did have another child. Part of it was also because Della felt like she had failed Alvar, that she had let him down when Jolie died, and she didn't know how to talk to him or fix things. He wasn't doing bad in Foxfire, he was actually doing better than Della had. But Alden didn't seem to think it was good enough. Or rather, his parents didn't. Alden didn't really seem all that bothered by anything Alvar was doing. He had a habit of getting too wrapped up in work, especially after Jolie died. But Alden's parents sometimes hailed him or came over, mostly to tell him how disappointed they were in how he was raising Alvar. And Della heard them blaming her, a few times. But she didn't know how to fix it. And he was still a level one - surely he had time to turn out okay?

They end up having Fitzroy Alden Fallon Avery Vacker, whose initials they did not think through (Jolie would have thought about it). But this time they feel like they're having this child alone. sure, it's their second one, but there's still no one to just... be with them. Help them. Della is still anxious, but she has no one to stop her from looking at the news, no baby stories to look back on except Alvar's, though even his have turned sad. Jolie was there for so many of them...

Over time, they become a lot stricter with Alvar. And as Fitz (and Biana) grow older, both Alden and Della begin trying to force them into perfection. Alvar is so different and so unwilling to fit into what their family is supposed to be that Alden and Della have all but given up on him. And for Alvar, well it obviously doesn't feel great to be given up on, which really only makes him further apart from the others. He feels out of place everywhere. At home he isn't perfect enough, he has too much of an attitude, he's placed last in priority. At school, he's a Vacker. He can't escape it. It's who he is.

Prentice's mind break (if I'm mathing correctly) happened while Della was pregnant with Biana. And Alden was never really the same after it. He'd never been very talkative, but he became more distant than ever. He barely left his office, kept forgetting to eat or drink water or sleep. He got better over time, but he still smiles much less than he used to.

When Biana is born, the public doesn't really know how to feel about her. Two children is fine, but three? Isn't that pushing it a bit? So Biana grows up with people asking everything of her, but half expecting nothing. She was so scared she wasn't even going to manifest (which is a bit unrealistic but with the way things were exaggerated, she thought being talentless was very likely. Della was also very afraid of this possibility).

The happiest years for anyone in this family were from when Alvar was born to when Jolie died. Things don't seem like they'll ever be better.

Alden is forcing Fitz and Biana to be perfect to protect the family legacy. Della is forcing them to be perfect to protect them. She knows how cruel the world can be. But her “protection” doesn't come across in the best way. At home, she subtly brings attention to all their little flaws, and when they go out, she makes sure they hide them all. When they cry, she gently tells them not to, that it's okay, that they're okay, everything is okay.

After Alden recovered from the mind break, he suddenly started talking to Alvar (who was struggling a lot with Neverseen stuff and depression and an eating disorder at the time) more. And he wouldn't let Della know what they were talking about. Della stopped trusting Alden. Not that she ever truly had, but this was different.

And Alden and Della grew further apart. Nobody would know, of course, since when they're out in public or when others are around, they act as in love as ever. But sometimes they go all day without talking to each other. Della spends time with Fitz and Biana, takes them places, teaches them how to survive in this family. She teaches them how to be the best version of themselves. They are 3 and 5. Alvar is at school most of the day, and out doing... whatever until nearly sunset. Della could ask, but Alden seems like he has it covered, so it doesn't really matter. She knows she's starting to be apathetic again, and she doesn't want to be, especially when it comes to her kids, but it's so hard not to.

But then Alvar enters the elite levels, and Alden starts spending more time with Fitz. He keeps him in his office all day, but then Della goes in once and Alden is alone. Where is Fitz? She asks him, and he informs her that he's at a friend's house. Where did Fitz get friends? She should be happy for him, but something about all of this feels so wrong. But she doesn't press further. If she shows that she doesn't trust Alden, will people use that against her too? So she doesn't even question it, and instead works on becoming closer with Biana, so Alden can't take her away, too. Maybe she's being overdramatic about it, but that wrong feeling hasn't gone away. Maybe it's just anxiety. Maybe she's fine. No, she is fine. It's not a maybe. She's okay. Their family is okay.

This also creates a divide between Fitz and Biana, who used to be close as little kids. But now Fitz is disappearing every day, and Della is keeping Biana away from him and Alden, and Alvar never comes home, except briefly during breaks and weekends, but then he goes to stay stars know where. Fitz and Biana have vastly different personalities. Biana has learned to be confident and defensive, while Fitz... well, he doesn't know how to act around people. He's learned to depend only on Alden, because nobody else trusts him and he can't trust anyone else. The golden years of this corner of the family are far behind them, and now all they have is perfectionism, distrust, and a facade.

Della thinks that by bringing attention to all Fitz and Biana’s little flaws and imperfections, by pointing them out in subtle ways, she thinks that will give them a chance to "fix" them before the world notices and attacks them for it. She tells herself she wishes someone had done this to her before she had to learn for herself to be perfect.

Fitz started going to foxfire, and Della can tell he's not really okay. Did they ever get him enrolled in tutor sessions? Maybe that's where he's been going off to? She hasn't been paying enough attention. They used to have dinner together as a family every night, but then Alden got busy, Fitz started bringing his food up to his room when he started school and became swamped with way more homework than what can be good and normal for an eleven year old. So Della usually ended up sitting at the table with Biana after making some food. She figures this is a good meal to skip. Two meals a day is more than enough.

Suddenly, everything changes. Suddenly, Sophie is there, and Fitz seems so much less tired. He seems less stressed. He joins Biana and Della for dinner, and sometimes even Alden sits and eats with them as well. Things are far from perfect, but Alden is smiling genuinely again. Only sometimes, but it's there. Della decides she likes this change. But she also realizes something...

Fitz was always either away or sick, Sophie was in the forbidden cities, where there are lots of human illnesses (she knows from experience). Alden never told her why he had Fitz get up so early to talk to him alone, Alden never talks to her anymore, goddamnit- what was Fitz doing? Alden couldn't have found Sophie. He couldn't have, she knows for a fact he never leaves! He was meeting with the council right before Sophie arrived with Fitz, in her strange human clothes, and Fitz was wearing human clothes and prime sources, she's thinking about this too much and she can't breathe - this has been going on for so long?? How could she not have seen?

No, she needs to stay calm. She... needs to talk to Alden about this. He's been busy today, but she takes two plates of food to his office in the evening, gently opens the door, and sits by him. Alden clearly thinks this is unusual, but she can't tell if it's in a positive or negative way. But that's not important. They need to talk. After a few bites of food, she prepares the question. Were you sending Fitz to the Forbidden Cities? she prepares it in her mind, has it on the tip of her tongue, she opens her mouth to speak, but what comes out instead is...

“How was your day?”

Alden blinks, like that's not what he was expecting. It's not what Della was expecting either. But she's not ready to confront his lies, she's not ready to face the reality of the danger Fitz was in for quite possibly eight years? And that's how Alden and Della end up sitting in Alden's office for hours, having the longest, most normal conversation they've had in years. They sit together and watch the sun set. Della leans on him. She missed having someone to hold her. Alden missed the feeling of being loved.

Alden and Della sort of work on mending their relationship after this, but they don't really talk about Fitz and what Alden had him do. Della never feels ready to bring it up, and eventually she puts the whole thing out of her mind. After all, Fitz is fine, it's like it never happened. But it did happen, and she doesn't notice the ways this affected Fitz because she's too busy pretending everything is fine and forcing him to do the same! Sometimes it's less pretending and more just. lying to herself. Trying to trick herself into believing. One of the ways she's done this for herself these past decades is telling herself that other people have it worse. If someone is suffering more than her, her pain doesn't matter. going to the Forbidden Cities kind of ingrained this in her brain more, as she saw people who were literally starving to death on the street, and here she was, living in this fancy mansion with a good husband - after all, he's not abusive or anything, and she really loves him. Things are just… weird, sometimes. And she sort of ends up passing this mentality down to Biana and Fitz? There's a time in Flashback where Fitz says it's only fair that all this is happening - because everyone else in the friend group had a really hard time at least at one point in their life, and usually over a long time - he's fine! He's had it good. How could he complain?

Alden went to Exile with Sophie in book 2, but nobody knew about it. Well, nobody was supposed to know, until Sophie transmitted to Fitz and got him all freaked out. All Della really knows is that he got hurt on a mission from the Council, and he really didn’t seem to want to talk about it. When she tried to ask, he used the “no reason to worry” phrase three different times in that conversation. He was clearly stressed and upset about something, but he convinced her to drop it. He ended up falling asleep in his office that night, but that happens sometimes. Everything was looking bright for everyone else, until the Opening Ceremonies. You all know what happened there, so i’m not gonna go into it, but when Alden’s mind broke, Della was devastated. As far as everyone knew, he wasn’t coming back. He was dead, they had a planting for him. She didn’t eat for days. Alvar was basically taking care of the whole family, because Alden was gone and Della spent most of her time by Alden’s side, trying to bring him back. Alvar tried to convince her to leave every day, until one day he snapped and yelled at her, he’s gone and he’s not coming back, stop hoping. It was the same kind of thing she had told him when they lost Jolie.

But unlike Jolie, Alden did come back, and the Vackers tried to erase the phase of their life where he was gone. They wanted to pretend that Keefe was right, that everything had gone back to perfection in Vacker Land. But this kind of thing leaves a lasting effect. They were afraid to even talk about what had happened with Alden, for fear that he’d break from the guilt of being gone and affecting them like that. Della still visits his Wanderling sometimes, not to mourn, but... for some other reason. There’s something surreal about looking at the tree, knowing full well Alden is okay at home.

Another quick thing I want to touch on is in book 3 when Alden and Fitz went to help with Fintan’s mind healing. Della and Biana spent the afternoon and evening together, trying to do fun things to take their mind off of things. But then they heard about the fire and saw pictures before Alden and Fitz had even come home, and they understandably freaked out. The fire had consumed half of Eternalia, how could they have gotten out? How could they be okay? But they were, and both Vackers were strangled with hugs as soon as they got back.

Della went with Fitz and Biana to join the Black Swan, partially because she wanted to, partially because she felt she should keep an eye on them and keep them at least semi in line, and partially because she wanted to escape the world and their pressing stares. And Everglen, a little bit. Juline was there, of course, but Della didn’t really know it was her.

When Squall wasn't busy and didn't need to rush home, Della actually ended up talking to her a bit. Della was a little more honest (key word a little) with her because she obviously wasn't like the general public - she's a Black Swan member. At one point Squall actually thinks Della is about to call her out on being Juline when Della tells her she reminds her of someone she used to know, and hey, she's a Froster, too! But Della seems genuinely unaware as she sort of explains what happened with this old friend of hers - she's a bad match, and Della was seen talking with her... and she felt like she had no choice but to cut her off. Squall listens, but only half processes it because she's waiting for the "you're Juline aren't you?" But it never comes.

After Alvar’s betrayal, Della knew a lot of people blamed her for how he ended up. After all, how could Alden Vacker have gone wrong? It was clearly Della’s influence that caused this. And she blames herself, too. She gave up on him. She didn’t talk to him enough. This whole thing also made the distrust in the Vacker family a lot worse - either Fitz or Biana said in Lodestar that it was like their parents wanted to know everything they’re doing, every place they go. They didn’t trust them. Fitz and Biana were growing closer after everything that had happened the past few years, but Della and Alden didn’t trust them, didn’t trust each other. This led to a lot of arguments between them and the kids, maybe not screaming matches, but raised voices and slammed fists and fighting back tears. When Keefe joined the Neverseen, Fitz shut himself in his room until school started again. He got quieter, and started to feel like he couldn’t trust anyone, even his sister, who he’d been taught to keep secrets from at a very young age. Della wanted to fix this somehow, she didn’t want to lose them like she’d lost Alvar - She wouldn’t give up on them. But she ended up just becoming overbearing and seemingly nosy. She thought she was helping.

If I remember correctly, the others got told that Squall is Juline in Lodestar when they came to pick up their kids from Rimeshire. Juline gathers everyone and says she has to tell them something, and when she reveals it, Della's smile drops faster than it ever has and she feels blood drain from her face. Juline never looks directly at her, and Della is panicking, thinking about how Juline must hate her. She wonders if she should try to push her away more, but... at this point what does it matter? Fitz and Biana already spend lots of time with Dex, and they just slept over at the Dizznees- she joined an illegal organization with them for stars’ sake! So... it's fine. It's okay for her to be here, at rimeshire, talking to Juline. The world is changing, and people have bigger things to talk about than Alden Vacker’s wife sharing a conversation with Juline Dizznee. As they leave Rimeshire, Juline meets her eyes and offers a small smile. Della nods in return.

When Alvar had his memories wiped and returned to Everglen, Della was determined to help him. She had this second chance, she wasn’t going to ruin it. She wanted to really believe he’d changed. But then Alvar got his memories back, and in front of the whole world at the celestial festival, he told everyone how his parents had given up on him. Della and Alden were watching that entire thing, as the world watched them, and Della couldn’t breathe. She watched Fitz threaten to kill Alvar, and for a few horrifying moments she thought she was about to lose both of them. And it was her fault, wasn’t it? That’s what everyone said. They blamed her. Alvar blamed her. She wouldn’t be surprised if Fitz and Biana blamed her, too.

Ever since what the world has canonically deemed the “Scandal at Everglen,” things in the Vacker family have not gotten better. Alden had been talking to Fitz about matchmaking for a while, encouraging him to pursue Sophie as a romantic interest. Eventually they do get together. Della tries to be happy for him, but she still sees this and thinks, maybe give them time. If she could go back, she would have wanted to enjoy her life before committing to the Match forever. She’s almost relieved when Sophie and Fitz don’t work out. She thinks it’ll be better for Fitz in the end. She knows he’s been isolating himself from his family, from the world after the Scandal at Everglen, which is understandable. They all seem to think he’s crazy. He’s seventeen, and he almost killed his own brother, right there. But Della was watching, too, and she saw that it was Gethen doing the manipulating. Using the right words, would they make Fitz turn out like Alvar? The thought still chills her to this day.

I don’t really have a good way to wrap it up other than I don’t think anything good will be happening to the Vackers anytime soon (except Biana, she seems to be doing relatively good compared to the rest). But yeah those are my Della thoughts :)

Lastly, art tags:

@cutebisexualmess @void-kill @lemon-girl-in-devil-town @keefe--sencen @tastetherainbow290

@myfairkatiecat @awful-amateur @aspenaspenaspenaspenaspen @necromycologist @cosmxc-ars3hol3

96 notes · View notes

tovesaiko · 6 months ago

Text

what's in a name

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet

They’re eating dinner when Osha asks the question. She’s sitting on the stone steps in their cave, cradling a bowl of soup in her hands. She looks relaxed, one leg propped on the step, the other curled under her.

“I still can't believe I never heard of you back at the temple. You're not that old,” there's mischief in her eyes as she adds that last part. Surprised, Qimir drops his spoon into his soup.

He wonders if she minds, if she would prefer they were closer in age. Imagines how it would be if he knew her before. What it would be like to train together as padawans and share their first experiences. Imagines sneaking out of the Jedi temple with her to lie in a meadow, young and innocent. Kissing for the first time, surrounded by flowers and sunlight and life.

It makes him think about his time as Vernestra's padawan. The years he spent training under her were nothing like the vision he just conjured. He had a different name then, already half-forgotten and alien to him. It belonged to a different person – a person he hasn't been for a long time. Even if she heard of him, she wouldn't know it, she wouldn’t recognise that other name. And who's to say what lies Vernestra spun when she returned to Coruscant without her padawan? He knows her well enough to know she would never let the story of his fall to the dark side see the light of day. Would never let the world learn how she maimed him and left him half-dead for the local predators to finish the job for her. No, she would make sure to control the narrative. He has a feeling even he wouldn’t recognise the version of the story she presented to the Jedi.

Would he still be the boy he used to be if he knew Osha back then? Would having her by his side keep him in the light? He thinks it’s more likely it would make him fall sooner. Because try as he might, he can’t imagine having Osha in his life and not loving her with a burning passion. Having her in his life and meekly adhering to the ridiculously strict tenets of the Jedi code.

Qimir may not be the name given to him by his parents, but he only spent a few years with them, barely remembers life before he was taken by the Jedi anyway, so does it even matter? This is the name he chose for himself. As a cover at first, yes, but then – then it was the name Osha knew him by. Just like his bumbling alter ego, it holds fragments of his true self. Even if the name wasn't his originally, he wants to be Qimir. Osha's Qimir.

This is now also on ao3 along with my other fic!

what's in a name

walking away from all you know

By popular demand, and by 'popular demand' I mean literally one person, I'm sharing my writing for the first time in years😅 Please be gentle.

I've been turning the issue of Qimir's name in my head over and over again. Pondering the significance of name vs. identity, and whether his real name is actually important when he must have changed so much ever since he became the Stranger, like a magical orb. Last night I couldn't sleep until I got this out of my head and on paper (well, on a google doc but, you know). I have two notebook pages of bullet points of things I'd like to see explored in a continuation of Osha and Qimir's story and the name reveal, or lack thereof, is one of them. Who knows, maybe now that I got this one out I'll latch onto another and cook something up to be read by me and exactly one other person.

@septemberlikeastorm thanks for being an excellent hypeman and getting my rusty writing gears going again by inspiring me with your lovely fic. Everyone go read cascade ocean wave blues come on ao3, it's the best thing since sliced bread 👌

#oshamir #the acolyte #the acolyte spoilers #i wouldn't be myself if i didn't add a little pretentious shakespeare quote

57 notes · View notes

cotl-flower-crown · 6 months ago

Text

My experience with Fang

My story in all of this is not that important, it's mostly just a petty drama between me and Fang. Please aim your support towards @catatombi and others mentioned in the original doc in their post: https://www.tumblr.com/catatombi/756286505510666240?source=share

I suppose since I'm somewhat involved in this and the other side seems to misinterpret my issue with fang, I feel compelled to explain myself. It might be a bit jumbled up, because I'm writing this in the middle of the night and I'm a bit sleepy.

cw: mentions of self harm and suicide

So me and Fanged met in a discord server that we were both in for a while. We and a few other wonderful individuals were hanging out, loving each other's art, talking and other stuff. We weren't exactly close, but we enjoyed each other's company.

One day I decided to share a story I wrote for my beloved Red District au (aka Gang au) which included an abuse scene between Grinder and Lambert. I have represented the two before as them having at least a sexual relationship (to be honest I do not remember if I ever depicted them as specifically romantic, I may have, but I cannot tell) and at the time I was toying with the idea of dipping into the dark side of the pairing. I was not trying to make it look like it was an romantic act (which that's what romanticizing means by the way), it was a scene straight up from a thriller. I left appropriate content warnings above the story. Fang saw them and read the story knowing that it would make him upset, he told us as much (sadly I do not have the screenshot to prove it, I don't know if that server still exists tbh). I felt really bad for him afterwards and it made me question myself. He later on appeared in my pms and from my perspective insinuated that I romanticize abuse, which I do not believe I did. The pms in question: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1zYN84ZT1xIAsxrQ8WvdwSlwUviT7InoB I admit it's not the best look to draw nsfw art of an abusive couple, though I would like to make it clear, the dive into the dark side begun after I was already made those drawings, I did not made them with the potential abuse in mind. With the story, I was just experimenting with how realistic can this relationship become. The au had barely any debt at the time and I wanted to make something deep. I was never really given an opportunity to elaborate on that. At the moment of the pms, I was scared for Fang, because he reacted very strongly to that story and I was worried for him and ended up backing out completely from the direction I wanted to take. Him telling me that he had 4 panic attacks over my story didn't help in the slightest. It just made me want to agree with him more, so he would feel more comfortable. I don't want to hang this over his head, because in the end it was my decision to change things in my au to fit his preferences. It could be a lot darker than what I have now, but what I have now is also good, you know. However, I'm not sure how else to describe it, but I wish I was told at the moment "hey, it's ok, you don't have to feel compelled to change YOUR story to fit MY preferences, because it's not my story, it's yours and if I'm not comfortable with this, then I shouldn't get involved". But he didn't, instead he encouraged me to keep it "clean", because he thinks that Grinder is hot and therefore he can't be an abuser apparently (sarcasm). So... whoops. It's not something that breaks a friendship tbh. I just want to let everyone know that I wasn't romanticizing abuse, because Fang's friend in their responce insinuate that I do. I don't. It was Fang who implied it. I don't romanticize abuse, I don't condone it, I despise it. But at the same time I'm not gonna say that abuse doesn't have the highs that make the victim stay by his abuser. It can be about money, it can be about security, it can be about sex and romance too. Back then for Lambert it was for all of those reasons. It was because when there were no bad days, there were the good days, great days even. Days that would make him question his own sanity, make him think that "this isn't so bad" before reality hit him in the face with a crash. Sometimes I wish I could tell that story instead of the misunderstood cat boy and a wolf in sheep's clothing. The thing is that I wasn't doing anything wrong and Fang made me think I did. I guess it happens sometimes and I don't really hate him for it, tho I wish he didn't pm me that night. I hope he gets help he desperately needs and avoids the spaces that make him uncomfortable if he can.

What really broke off out friendship was the situation on Itaku. I was following him there because I thought of him as a friend and he makes lovely artwork. I knew that he made gore artwort, but I don't hate gore, so the fact that he was drawing it in general wasn't an issue. One day I scroll through the feed and BOOM, a graphic piece "assaults" my eyes. Made me squirm a little. Very well made artwork, but fuck, I sure wish I could consent to that view. There was very clearly no content warning, because if there was, I would be allowed to make a choice on whether or not I want to see gore. So I leave him a friendly comment, something like "Nice artwork, wish there was a content warning tho" and I thought that would be it. But instead it turned into a debate that ended with him blocking me on Itaku. The debate in question can be read here: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1z0rC4gxUOzfI_qUu9BRcThOufc_uF9np I was confused and angry when I learned about it, because I ended the discussion with "agreeing to disagree" and yet he still blocked me. And admittedly in the petty glory I decided to block him back on all my social medias. I wanted to unblock him the next day, once my emotions cool down, and propose a compromise. Anyway, I log on to see that Fang left me a message in the one place I forgot to block him at that left a poor taste in my mouth and made me think "this man is full of shit and I don't want to deal with him". He tried to love-bomb me at first, specifically mentions that he wants to be unblocked on my nsfw account, doesn't really mention the other places, really showing where his priorities lay. Then he tries to excuse himself, saying that the PSA he made wasn't about me, but it appeared directly after our debate, how am I supposed to not take that as vague posting? So that was the first lie. He then mentions my art again, saying that he's gonna miss it, not me, a friend, tho I guess, I feel very valued by that, thanks (sarcasm). He makes excuses again, he "warns" me that there are a lot of medias does the same thing he does, including cotl itself, which isn't true, because most do actually have content warnings these days, including cotl. Besides, semi-realistic gore and cartoony gore don't exactly hit the same way. So that's another attempt to deflect. He then talks about how he doesn't know what he did wrong, which I straight up just don't believe him. I didn't know about the vents yet, but most of the conclusions could be deduced from the discussion itself.

Refearing to the vent posts now (they're in the link above) I never told him to censor his art. Itaku has an option to put a content warning, which basically covers up the piece with "warning" written on top and the reasons that the author can add manually. Clearly the tags are not enough, so why not use that? The only reason why Fang wouldn't want to use that tool that he was given, is that it would most likely lower his views. The line "I'm not going to de-boost my content" confirms it. I did not want to block the whole gore tag because I don't hate gore, it doesn't give me PTSD or anything, and it can be cool and beautiful when done right. Gore tag includes a lot of variety and blocking it ALL would feel like a waste. But also if your art makes me - someone who can take the blood and guts pretty well - imagine some random person, who cannot take the gore and has no idea about blocking the tags, stumbling onto your art and being met with an image of a bloody spinal cord. If there is a tool that allows you to warn your viewers that "hey, this one is a bit graphic", if I click on it anyway, that's on me. It's my choice to view it and I can't blame Fang for it. Fang, by refusing to put up a content warning, strips me and other viewers of that choice. A tag is not gonna fix it. I'm sure that those who wanted to follow Fanged for his other artwort, would appreciate the content warning as well. I said as much in the comments. Looking at it from the other side, remember that story I wrote about earlier? What if I decided not to put up content warnings? Bet Fang wouldn't be very happy about it either. So it's fine for ME to get disturbed without my consent, but when it's Fang that sees something graphic by his own volition, then he's allowed to be upset and come to me with a critique? But when I do it, then I get hit with a block? Very classy. The killjoy thing is so stupid, self-depricating humor is a thing and I was aware that my comment might be taken as less than fun, so I was trying to make a joke about it, to break the tension. It wasn't supposed to be hostile in any way. He complains that I don't appreciate him bringing his panic attacks into the discussion which are not related to the topic. If that's not guilt-tripping then what is it? Also the tweet does confirm that he blocked me because he got mad about it. So yeah, sure, PSA not being about me, my ass.

What I took from all this is that Fang wants everyone to respect his boundaries, but he's not gonna respect boundaries of others for his own gains and he will try to deflect blame, because he can't handle criticism. I don't need that toxicity in my life, so I just kept him blocked. One would assume that's what he would want as well, since he blocked me first. The nerve taken to try and wiggle his way into my graces for my nsfw doodles baffles me. I didn't hate him though, not being able to take criticism is not really an evil quality. But I tried to get through to him in the most polite way I could manage and he didn't take it. If that's too much then I can't do better unless I say "You're right and I'm wrong". If I can't express my true thoughts without him taking it as a threat to his safe space, then I'm not going to sacrifice mine for him.

And that was it for me for a while. I wasn't going to talk about this situation at all, unless asked, and people did ask. Because guess what, Fang can say all he wants about how his vent account is private, but that's bullshit. If people can see it, then it's not REALLY private. If you want to have a private space to vent, get yourself a diary. The internet is not a private space, no matter how private you try to make it. But yeah, I learned that Fang was talking shit about me, which was funny at first, until a few months later I learned from Cata about what he did to them and the others. I learned that I was one of the people he cut himself for. He cut himself. Because of this. I can be snarky and passive aggressive all around through this post, but I cannot laugh this off. This is not healthy. This isn't something to laugh about or ignore. It's not about me, it's about what Cata and the others had to go through. Learning about the self harming thing didn't feel good at all and I can only imagine how they felt through out his abuse.

Even now I don't want to hate him. That's not to say that I don't think he's not dangerous. If you've read Catatombi's call out, you know about the suicide pacts, pushing boundaries and just hurting people around him in general. He's definitelly a danger to himself as well as the people he surrounds himself with. But even then, I can get mad and sad about it, but I can't really hate him. This callout is not to hate on him, but warn others against his destructive behavior. In the end what he really needs is to get off the internet, get proffessional help and touch grass. I'm not sure whether or not Fang is actually taking steps to take care of his issues, I really do hope that he does and I cheer him on for it, even if we can't be friends anymore.

And for those who ended up being his victims, even if it wasn't intentional, I hope they can find their peace as well. That is all I really want in the end.

Now excuse me, it's almost 5 am and I need sleep. Goodnight.

#cw mention of self harm #cw mention of suicide #my experiences #cult of the lamb #ffangedd

63 notes · View notes

cupidsloove · 2 years ago

Text

•MICHAEL KAISER BF HEADCANONS•

Just Kaiser being Kaiser

[Fun fact I'm interested in blue lock and besides the Itoshi brothers & sibling!reader angst in my Google docs, I decided to write some bf headcanons of this lovable asshole called Kaiser]

Tags: fluff, Kaiser being kinda clingy and annoying, mentions of Kaiser's morning routine(dick and ass too) very unorganized hcs,

★You being in a relationship with Kaiser was a shock for everyone in your life. The surprise on your parent's face when they saw you introduced him was still memorized in your brain somewhere in the back. It was an interesting family dinner afterwards, but at least they approved of the relationship.

“Kaiser…still wondering how my father approved of you”

“Maybe because I'm really that lovable~”

“Shut up”

・⁠。⁠・

★ He is REALLY into physical affection, quality time and words of affirmation. Since he needs to travel because of his matches, every moment with you is important to him especially if Kaiser needs to leave for long periods of time and can't feel your touch through the screen of his phone. When he returns… be prepared for alot of hugging, kisses and many dates.

Also Kaiser is going to shower you in praises, and encouragement and makes sure you are feeling better.

“Engel where are we going tonight?” said your boyfriend while hugging you from behind

“Michi, we went out last night, calm down a little with those dates” you sighed while you put the washed plate back on the shelf.

“Engel you don't know if tomorrow is again one of those days where I have to leave the country for how many weeks again” said Kaiser in his clingy sweet voice.

“How about watching a movie instead of going out?”

・⁠。⁠・

★ Calls you nicknames all the time, maybe not so much in the public but in private….well, it's a literal shower of nicknames.

Some of the nicknames are: Engel(Angel), Liebling(Darling),Schnucki(Sweetie pie) and many, MANY more.

“Kaiser you seemed very distracted today”

“Shh, texting my Schnucki is much more important than dealing with those half-baked asses”

“???”

・⁠。⁠・

★If you are living with him, well…good luck waking up and the first thing you see is your boyfriend in all his naked glory looking in the mirror for you don't know how many minutes. Convincing him to cover himself is much more of a issue

“What,there is a problem with my ass or with my dick”

“OH MY GOD MICHAEL, JUST COVER YOURSELF FOR FUCK'S SAKE”

・⁠。⁠・

★If your relationship isn't already public, you and Kaiser have some sort of discussion about making it actually know to the media. Even if he is still an ass, Kaiser still has a caring side for people he loves. He knows that stans on different social media apps can be absolutely ruthless and in general, dating a famous person is very life sucking.

“(Name) are you really sure about that?”

“Michi, I'm sure about this”

・⁠。⁠・

★ Meeting his teammates was something. It wasn't really bad just they look at you strangely. I mean in the "How this asshole pulled someone like this" type of way. Some of them asked for tips to deal with him

“Can you give us tips how to deal with your boyfriend?” says one of them while holding a notebook

“Fine, to deal with him is to know how to pique his interest”

“Then how you do it”

“I don't know”

#blue lock #blue lock headcanons #blue lock x reader #bllk #blue lock x you #bllk headcanons #michael kaiser #michael kaiser x reader #bllk x reader #bllk x you

434 notes · View notes

blu3-ja3 · 2 months ago

Text

It's time for my forgotten baby boy Roach! Please know that while I truly try to keep the 141 in character, I may go a bit OOC. I didn't put this in Soap's post but all of these will have 5 short stories.

1) A Rule O'Connor put in place for the boy

2) The boys first time seeing O'Connor's scar properly

3) O'Connor and Price have a chat

4) Boy learns a little more about O'Connor's Son

5) Something O'Connor learns from the boy after a moment of vulnerability.

!TRIGGER WARNING! Collapsing, Blood, Self Imposed Exhaustion, Dehydration

1) Strung Up

Roach is chaos incarnate, I see him in my office more than anyone else when we're on base. He constantly has a new scrape or bruises that Gaz or Soap drag him into be seen. They both have a standing rule that if they see Roach hurt they have to bring him into my office. Roach is creative with his boredom, one of his favorite hobbies to pass the time is to climb as high as possible. If Roach finds a spot he'll stay there, only coming down to do the essentials like eating at the mess. If he can, Roach would sleep in his little perch.

It was a quiet day at Bastion. I was sat in my office doing nothing in particular when Gaz appeared in my office door. He looked around very frantically.

"Cig? What're you looking for?"

"Have you seen Roach? I've not seen him since yesterday when we got back."

"Not even for breakfast we had muffins."

"No! It's why I'm looking for him, Soap saved him two muffins."

"Well where have you looked, it's a large base."

It took everyone an hour to finally catch a glimpse of Roach, he was tucked into a random corner at the very top of the hanger hidden behind a half wall. Ghost spotted the young man's boot, it could only be seen from a certain angle. Roach wasn't responding to anyone and it was getting nerve wracking.

"Does anyone see a way to get up there? I'm not sure we have a ladder tall enough to get up there."

"I think I have an idea. Price can you see about clearing out this hanger. Gaz go, get the climbing equipment and two body harnesses, they should be in the left closet of the rec room. Ghost go, into my barracks and grab the bag that's closest to the bed. Soap I need you to find something that's heavy but we're able to throw over those rafters." I rushed into my office and grabbed my stethoscope, blood pressure gauge, and some liquid Pedialyte.

I reappeared to the same spot at about the same time as most everyone else, Ghost was the last to come , carrying my bag. Everyone immediately started getting to work. We decided it would be best for Gaz to go up and rig Roach, they're both light and it would be easy for me and Ghost to heighten and lower the two.

Roach was up all night, not able to sleep and found the first spot he couldn't be disturbed. How he got up there even he doesn't know. I told him that for now on he has to check and make sure at least one of the 141 could get up there as well. He was also given a map of all the bases and buildings and was told to write down every spot he has.

2) Carrie

I'm on a semi-undercover operation with Roach, we've made our way into a butchery that has the potential to be a front for some not so savory activities. This was a last minute lead but it's our only lead for the missing General so here we are. Neither of us have our typical gear so I'm a little on edge checking every room before entering. We know there's likely no one here as Ghost and Soap are enacting a distraction plan. But we had to make this quick.

Roach moves ahead of me and pushes open the door. I hear it and move before processing what's happening. Diving forward I shoved Roach through the door as liquid spilled onto my head and down my back. The smell of iron and acrid, a smell I know all too well. Blood, I was covered in blood and who knows what else.

"Doc? Shit we've got to get you cleaned up! What the bloodly hell was that?"

I felt a hand grab me, before I pulled myself away. "DON'T! Don't touch me! Roach we don't know what is in this! We have to get out and quickly can you radio Price?" I grab my shirt and pull it off, wiping off my head and face while Roach finishes calling Price.

"Do you want my hoodie?"

"Keep it we need to slip out quickly, we'll deal with all of this once at the safe house." I grab a nearby butcher's smok and ran. The whole time I feel like there's eyes on me, staring at my scar. It puts me even more on edge as we move through the streets.

Once back at the safe house I pushed past quickly and made my way towards the shower. I kept it cold and drenched myself quickly, removing what clothes I could salvage. I did my best to wash away the blood in my hair and on my skin. I was lucky that it only seems to be blood and nothing else. But only time will tell, here's hoping.

"Um Doc?"

"Yes Roach, I'm okay!"

"Well my hoodie is hanging on the doorknob... Since your shirt is ruined!"

I poke my head out and grab the hoodie before slipping it on. Its fit was slightly baggie on my frame, because despite the fact that I'm taller than Roach he was definitely bigger than me. I left my hair down to dry easier and thankfully my shirt was the only article of clothes covered in the blood.

"Thank you for the hoodie, Bug."

"There's an extra set of clothes here but the shirt is a short sleeve. I know you like to keep covered up because of the ya'know scars... OH! Not to say that you should keep covered up I just meant-"

I hold up my hand with a soft smile.

"It's fine Bug, it's a creature comfort. I really do appreciate it."

"Yeah! I like that, creature comfort."

The conversation continued until Soap and Ghost returned and we all made our way to extraction. After going through the quarantine protocols and being cleared I made my way to Roach and returned his hoodie.

3) Playful Pup

"Are you positive he can handle this kind of responsibility. I love Roach but the boy forgets to take care of himself when we're on base, do you really think he can handle a dog?"

"Yes, I think he'll take better care of himself with the dog. Trust me John, I saw how he looked at the pup. He was enthralled and so focused."

" If he can't handle it you'll be the one to take the dog away? I'm not breaking that boy's heart."

"I promise, if Roach can't handle the dog I'll be the one to be mean. But I know it won't come to that. I really do think this will be the best thing for Roach."

4) A Face To The Name

I step into my office only to notice a figure sitting in my chair. They're hunched forwards staring at something in their lap so it takes me a moment to realize who's in my office.

"How's she cuttin' Bug?"

I see the young man jump a bit before whipping his head towards me, his mouth, nose, and neck covered by one of his masks. Freckles cheeks stained by tears, his dark brown eyes welling up with fresh tears. I rush towards the young man before crouching down next to him.

"Roach! What's wrong lad?" I let go of his hands as he begins frantically signing.

'I didn't mean to go through your desk but your office is always so quiet, I needed a place to calm down! Then I got bored!'

I look down at what Roach has in his lap. My heart jumps to my throat. A small framed picture of a young man smiling into the camera, he's wearing a simple blue shirt that makes his curly ginger hair almost glow. He's smiling, there's a healthy blush on his freckled cheeks. His blue and brown eyes have a spark of pure glee and life.

Tears begin well up in my eyes, it has been a little too long since I've seen my son. I forgot I even had this here. I take a deep breath and reach to rub the tears from my eyes.

'Is this him? William?'

I nod to Roach. I don't trust my voice right now and I can't seem to get my hands move, so I can't sign back to Roach.

'Yes, this is the last photo he took before...' I vaguely gestured.

I pick up the framed picture and stand up. I take a deep breath as I walk to a shelf behind my desk and find a spot to place the picture of my son.

I turn back to Roach and eventually we make our way to the mess hall. I chatted with Roach, answering every question he has about William.

5) A Little More Trust

I stand outside with Soap as we watch the rest of the 141 comes of the Boeing. I'm still recovering from several fractured ribs and Soap's currently waiting for his broken arm to heal. They've all arrived from an op near Urzikstan, I didn't get many details from Price or Laswell. I'm happy to see most everyone back in one piece, Price was helping Kyle off the Boeing.

I learned that about mid-way through their op Gaz took a lovely little tumble tweaking his knee. After getting Gaz check out everyone meets up in the cantina and chatting. Roach isn't here yet so we wait for a bit, the cantina clears out. Its an empty room aside from our little table, Gaz and Soap are chatting together while Ghost has a very cuddly Soap at his side. Gaz is leaning back against Price with his leg propped up on the bench.

The tall figure of Roach appears beside the table, he's pale with heavy bags under his eyes and a bit of sweat on his temples. I open my mouth to ask him if he's feeling alright before the boy collapses next to the table. Ghost is quick enough to grab him before he falls completely to the floor but not fast enough to prevent the sergeant from knocking his head against the table.

"Shit! Gary? Lad!"

Price moves to the other side of Roach's collapsed form. Everyone begins to move to check on their friend and help get him to my office. He's carried to the cot on the far side of the room and set down. I shooed everyone back while I work to remove unnecessary articles of clothing. He's wearing tons of layers so I remove enough for me to check everything, I feel bad removing the boys mask so I don't. I work the best I can and check everything I can to find out the cause for Roach's collapse is. I tell everyone to go eat and I'll come get them once Roach wakes.

I'm sat writing a baseline report of Roach's condition and what could likely be the culprit. He seems to have severe dehydration and a heavy lack of sleep. He over worked himself while on op and got very little sleep. The dehydration was a bit extreme even with the climate they were in, so it's likely that Roach has been wearing the multiple layers while in the field. Eventually Roach wakes up, I moved towards handing him a water bottle and an apple.

"Roach darling? Are you okay?"

"M'fine, gotta a bloody pounding in my head."

I nod before pushing "Roach, you collapsed. You've been out for a few hours and you're severely dehydrated."

"You know where we were sent, yeah? Everyone's a little lackin' Doc."

"Roach, I'm trying to be nice. What's with all the layers lad? I could tell by the smell you've not taken them off for a bit ya?"

Roach nods "Not feeling very comfortable in my own skin, the layers helped. Brought some comfort, kept eyes off of me. The more layers felt better, it was hot but I could handle the heat."

"But the only eyes were the boys, none are going to judge you Roach."

"Then why do you still wear your long sleeves around them? We've all seen your arm and neck but you still wear your long sleeves Doc... Bit hypocritical isn't it?"

" A little but I haven't collapsed."

"Yet."

I sighed "Go to the mess, get some food then get to the rec everyone will meet you there."

I make my way into my barracks after escorting Roach out of my office. Once inside I pull off the turtle neck long sleeve and go to my trunk, I dig to the very bottom grabbing a tank top, then my hoodie, and put both on. I walk into the rec room to find everyone there.

"How's she cuttin' boys?"

I walk over and sit down on the couch next to Ghost, Soap is next to him in a cushioned chair. Roach is across from him with Gaz and Price taking the smaller couch. On the table in the middle is a game of Uno. After the round ends I join in as well. We got about half through when I set my card face down and stood up. I pulled off my hoodie and sat back down.

"You're sleeves looking good Maevis, see you finally got the skeleton."

"Nice new canvas for you to color on Johnny, nice for it not to be me for a change."

I smiled towards Roach and gave him a small nod. I sign 'No Pressure but they won't judge us'

He nods and takes off his hoodie as well leaving in a grey shirt but he keeps his mask on. We continued our game chatting about everything from what my next tattoo would be, to what Ghost might to get tattooed next, to Price cheating somehow. This continued into the night before we called it and turned in for the night.

COD Master List

30 notes · View notes

bravelyartbooking · 10 months ago

Text

little known bravely default series facts

I noticed a couple of comments about the Bravely Series on Twitter last night that made me realize some folks didn't know some of what I consider common knowledge of the series (like why the ba'al theme wasn't on the Bravely Default soundtrack).

Contains spoilers for all three games. Also this got longer than I thought, thanks in advance if you make it to the end and find something you didn't know! I'm sure most of this seems obvious to long timefans.

Here is a compilation of what I know that may or may not be common knowledge to newcomers?

I had to split this into three parts because of Tumblr's character limit and I'm honestly too tired to fix the numbering. A much more readable version can be found on Google Docs here.

First part:

The version of Bravely Default that was received in the West is the second version of the original Bravely Default game, released in Japan in Dec 2013. This version, called "Bravely Default: For the Sequel" came with a massive (80ish) amount of improvements based on player feedback, such as: additional sidequests for the Asterisk Holders in later parts of the game, difficulty and encounter settings sliders, battle speed, redrawing the cities, and the Bravely Second mechanic itself.

This means some tie-ins to Bravely Second didn't exist with the first version - the Adventurer being green when you first encounter her, the end AR movie with Magnolia, the Ba'als and their theme. All this was added later.

The Japanese version does include different languages, including English, so if you can't understand Japanese you can still easily play this version of the game on a hacked or Japanese 3DS!

The first release in Oct 2012 was called "Bravely Default: Flying Fairy" and a lot of JP folks still use BDFF to refer to it.

While BDFTS and BD: Where the Fairy Flies (the Western release) are functionally identical, some changes between JP and West include but are not limited to:

Costumes were censored (such as the Vampire having a bodysuit under the belts and the Bravo Bikini)

The ages of Agnes, Tiz, Edea, Alternis and the Venus sisters was bumped up 3 years in their journal entries (or anyone whose age is written out instead of written as numerals).

Japan had merchandise that had codes for the extra costumes. The extra costumes made it into the Western version of the released game for in-game currency with the exception of Tiz's Dimensional Officer, Edea's Military Cadet, Agnes's Bravo Bunny, and Ringabel's Wakoku Warrior.

You can summon friends from Japanese versions and those costumes will be visible EXCEPT the Bravo Bunny is censored (the cut-out is covered) and Wakoku Warrior is replaced with Freelancer.

These codes expired after like 2 years.

There are 4 novels called "Pocketbook of R" (2 books) and "Pocketbook of R Second" (2 books). I'm including all the translation information I currently have.

Pocketbook of R is a first person journal from Ringabel in what is commonly dubbed "Infinity World" between the events of Bravely Default and Bravely Second.

Ellen translated the first book here (note that she did largely 'summary' translations as she hated the writing in the novel).

Bill translated most of the second book (page 70+) here. (Bill's native language is French and while I did some proofreading, there may be some clunkiness of translating from a third language into a fourth.)

Ellen started translating the third book here. This and the fourth book take place at the same time as Second, for the most part.

No solid English translations of the fourth book currently exist though I know the gist of it thanks to an older Tumblr fan who gave me the rundown. I'm sure RNT will make a video.

Second Part:

There are an additional 2 novels that are based on two of the spinoff games.

One is "Bravely Default - 200 years later" based on Praying Brage that was released in the Japanese Bravely Second collector's edition ONLY.

One is "Bravely Default Fairy's Effect - Rinne's Miracle" based on Fairy's Effect that was released as a standalone novel.

Very little information has been released about both. One day we'll have a summary/translation.

There are (currently) 4 spinoff games, all currently shut down.

Praying Brage (Nov 2012 - Apr 2017) was a browser game and was based on the premise of Edea going 200 years into the future to save Agnes. RedNovaTyrant has a great video on it here!

Bravely Archive: D's Report (Jan 2015 - Oct 2017) was a mobile game that centered around an alternate/future Luxendarc with crystal memories and a new main character who is revealed to be Deneb

It released in Australia for about 6 months in 2018

Bravely Archive Fairy's Effect (Mar 2017 - Aug 2020) was a mobile game released after Bravely Second that took place simultaneously 8000 years in the future and between the events of Bravely Default 1 and Bravely Second. There's a lot of lore for both games in FE that can be seen in various videos on the internet (such as info on the Kaiser/Glanz Empire and Agnes's transition into Pope, Ominas having a role in saving Mahzer and the newborn Edea from Eternia during Braev's coup), but Bill translated some of the remaining website summary here.

Bravely Default Brilliant Lights (Jan 2022 - Feb 2023) was a crossover mobile game in a new world that combined Luxendarc and Excillant characters and setting. It lasted 13 months and I archived as much video as I could on Youtube but as of now, first person "reports" can be found here that summarize each board of each story.

It explains why "First Born" Ba'al was a thing in Bravely Second.

An 'offline' version was released but pulled from the app stores in July 2023.

There are 2 audio dramas for the first game!

First one is called "Festival of Reunion" and a translation of all four tracks can be found here.

Second one is called something like "Bracelets of Eternity" and so far no English translation seems to exist (though I know the gist of the first track).

The Ba'al theme was released with the first audio drama.

There's a Luxendarc / Linked Horizons concert that took place in Japan in 2013, you can find video of it on Youtube and Amazon Prime Video, and they released music CDs specific to it.

Square released an X-mas Collections Music CD that has wintery remixes of some of the Bravely Default music.

There is a Bravely Default 4 volume manga that's a retelling of the first game. Red made a video about it here. You can find scans online and most of the translations were done by Ellen.

There is also a manga anthology that serves to tie together Bravely Default and Bravely Second (released around the same time as Second, if not earlier). Red also made a video about it here. Ellen scanslated the third story in the anthology, I reuploaded it here after her imgur account got nuked.

Bravely Second was changed between the JP and Western releases based on feedback from Japanese players:

Sidequests were streamlined so that players could get a "good ending" based on their decision even if they chose the opposite Asterisk after the time reset

The Black Mage/ Ranger sidequest had its endings completely rewritten, as the Japanese version ends with either Bahamut being eaten or the wounded NPC dying depending on who you sided with.

Some costumes that were DLC were added to be bought with in-game currency (same as Default)

Fort Lune was made more easily available instead of being locked behind a SE Member account (along with some other things like costumes).

Some of the writing was tweaked as there were complaints about the memey/modern references/references to other media like Dragonball.

Aimee/Hawkeye costume was changed (there was also minor censoring of other costumes, like adding a bra to Ranger for Magnolia).

The fox companion was moved to different locations instead of sitting next to the Adventurer, lessening some complaints of "mood whiplash" between tent scenes and serious story events.

Some JP preorder-exclusive weapons were excluded (as far as I can tell, some weapons were just very hard to get).

The controversial apology for Bravely Second was in regard to the large amount of negative feedback the team received from the JP fans in regard to Second (though some Western fans also had a lot of negative things to say, it was largely only because of the costume censorship to the point at least one mod was released).

Third Part:

Magnolia and Pope!Agnes had large plushie prototypes made of them that were never released.

There's an official MMD figure of Agnes from Second.

2 types of large Edea plushies were released, one with closed eyes and one with open eyes.

Only 200 of the open-eyed Edeas were made/released but now there apparently there's only 199 in existence because I tried to buy one and the seller told me she was damaged in by a wild animal getting into the warehouse, rip Edea...

Large plushies were released of Edea, Ringabel, Agnes, and Tiz based on their Default appearance. Tiz's plush had an unfortunate hair style in the prototype that they changed in the final version. Images of this bowl cut have been lost forever.

Gloria got a smaller plushie that's in the JP SE Store.

A set of even smaller Default 1 cast plushies, among other things, are in the 10th anniversary set.

The European Collector's Edition of Bravely Default Where the Fairy Flies included this unfortunate figure of Agnes.

The Bravely Second artbook has three versions:

Original Japanese version, scans of it exist online

Bravely Second (Western) collectors edition version, which removed several images - sketches/concept art of Agnes tied up in the ribbon and a couple of images of Geist as well. This version had translated captions but any text on the images was not translated.

The fully English translated version which also restores the images removed from the CE.

Sales data has indicated that the Bravely Series reached 3 mil in Nov 2021. No word on 4 mil or 5 mil, but maybe we'll find out this year?

Bravely Default 1 (all versions) hit 1 million in July 2014 (21 months from initial BDFF release)

Bravely Second (all versions) hit 700k in April 2017 (2 years from BSEL release)

Bravely Default II (all versions) hit 1 mil in Dec 2021 (10 months from BDII release)

So much JP only merch was released through the years, especially in the years before Second.

Some through the SE Cafe collab with BDII

Some through Artnia (here's Default and Second's collabs)

10th anniversary stores with Hakabanogarou in person and online (now closed)

10th anniversary collab with Super Groupies for watches, Agnes's pendant, a stole with Airy's pendant.

Stuff on the SE JP store

Limited edition rubber stamp sets for Default and Second

Linked Horizon branded BD merch was released with the concert like pins.

Magnolia figure.

Official D's Journal

The messaging Line app released Bravely Default/Bravely Second stickers drawn by a fanartist made official artist named Satokivi! I think they were like 3 dollars per set.

She also drew the mini series of 4koma called "Praying for Miko" for Praying Brage

Physical versions of these stickers are on the JP SE Store.

There's a vinyl record

Pop-up Parade figurines of the main four were released in 2023 for the 10th anniversary of Bravely Default.

Bravely Default II had two demos, the first one specifically made difficult to get feedback from the fans. They implemented some feedback to change the final version of the game (but not everything). This was the first time they have asked for feedback from the West instead of just Japan.

Team Asano has released Lunar New Year art every year except 2016 with Bravely characters and the zodiac animal

They do Christmas cards every year, and it seems that this year they included a special card for a special fan with an extra character in the dragon art. If you know you know.

The woman on the cover of Bravely Default II isn't Gloria.

Bravely Default II has several secrets in the names of Chapter 5, 6, and 7. Spoilers for BDII below:

Twin AGES refers to both the first initials of the known Heroes of Light (Adelle/Gloria/Elvis/Seth and Aileen/Godric/Emma/Sloan) as well as the repetition across the two eras of Heroes. Also, you’ll notice that the initials are shared between the folks who inherited the same blessing from the crystal (assuming Emma got the Earth Crystal and Godric the Water Crystal). This is most noticeable in the final fight against the Night’s Nexus when the spirit of the old Hero of Light is standing behind the new to help them. - Adelle/Aileen - Gloria/Godric - Elvis/Emma - Seth/Sloan

Twin CAGES refers to the ‘cage’ that Adelle locks herself into, and the ‘cage’ that Elvis is forced into without her

Twin PAGES references back to the twin eras of the known Heroes of Light, but now with the Player - whose help is needed for the cycle to end. This is why “P” is the last letter to fade in the ending credits when the player is thanked.

I'm sure there's a lot more I'm forgetting, and this isn't even including the Bravely Default original concepts that were revealed in a booklet in the 10th anniversary exhibitions.

If you made it to the end, I applaud you, and I hope there was at least one or two things you didn't know!

Also one day I'll finish the video on the English fan survey.

#bravely default #bravely second #bravely default ii #bravely default 2 #spoilers

83 notes · View notes