#urge surfing

[borderlinereminders]

Hey. If you’re trying to resist an urge/impulse right now and having a hard time, I just want to remind that you can do this. You can resist that urge/impulse.

Sometimes I tell myself, “you can do it later” instead of telling my brain “no” and it helps ease the discomfort of the urge. (And then later comes and it’s passed completely.)

Either way, just remember, this feeling is going to pass. This discomfort isn’t forever. You can do this.

[youdeserveanaward]

New achievement unlocked!

Not today!

Avoided giving into an urge!

[theemotionmachine]

Urge Surfing: A Mindful Approach to Overcoming Addictive Behaviors

“Urge surfing” is a unique tool that combines mindfulness with habit change. The key idea is to step back and observe your desires and cravings instead of acting on them impulsively without thinking.

Learn more here!

[idiotthewise]

Watch "DBT Expanded Edition - Bridge Burning: A Skill for Preventing Urges from Becoming Actions" on YouTube

Bridge Burning DBT skills

[constance-mcentee]

I don't have the mental energy to type image descriptions for this post.

So instead, I'll link to the WebMD article about Urge Surfing, which is what the above infographics describe.

PRACTICE URGE SURFING

[thinkingandthonking]

Everything I know about Cravings, Urges and Addictions and 5 ways to lessen or overcome them

A series of posts with some methods and explanations sourced from meditation, inquiry, psychology and therapy.

Note that this isn't a fully comprehensive guide, and that of course there's a big variety in addictions and cravings - some are wired much deeper into our body and would be harder to approach or work with without outside assistance. There's still always a possibility of at least a reduction in stress or compulsiveness.

All of these methods ARE safe and relatively easy to at least attempt on your own and see if they fit for you - but feel free to message me for clarification, or to research more about them from other sources!

Some pretext:

The fundamental tool here is Non-reaction, as with most things meditative. When we’re trapped in endlessly reacting to urges or any phenomena, there isn’t much space available for ANY kind of work or transformation - we’re enslaved, pushed forward on rails.

And yet, the difference between that kind of automatic behavior and freedom can be a millisecond of awareness and deeper presence. Any kind of method that uses non-reaction (and ideally, slowly deepens or extends it in some fashion) can reveal that.

An easy comparison to make is “muscle growth”, mental or emotional muscles that we “progressively overload” with bigger weights to get more resistant to urges… but be wary of having that be the primary interpretation of experience.

Resistance ITSELF is a reaction, it drains us and often reinforces the loop in the end. We may use SMALL amounts of willpower or resistance initially to kickstart the process, but ideally we want to transcend that into more powerful and intrinsic sources of “energy” that don’t run out as easily and leave us defenseless.

Insight, surrender, relaxation, and rewiring habits - ways that let go of our craving while still GIVING us energy, fulfilling some deeper need for freedom and release that the craving was an ineffective substitute for.

These methods aren’t meant to be stopgaps or momentary band-aid solutions. I would warn against going into this expecting each one to work immediately, work every time, and the moment they don’t you get frustrated and quit.

Each one of these methods is meant to counteract the SOURCE of the craving, to wither it from within until it NEVER bothers you again, no more than a slight itch that can be easily ignored.

And that may take some time.

Part 1: Urge Surfing

The simplest and most accessible method.

Urges and cravings lie to us - they pretend to be permanent and objective, that the only way to answer them and be free of them is to concede. “Do what I say, or I’ll torment you for life.”

It’s a bluff, they’re incapable of that, and deep down we know this. No sensation is capable of lasting forever, even if it fluctuates and grows and fades and returns over time.

Eventually though, and often very quickly, the craving just runs out of energy when not fulfilled. Yet in the moment they arise, feeling the discomfort they bring, we so often give in, or get burnt out in our resistance to it.

Urge surfing means “Fine, I’ll do that - but not yet”. Accept the urge, surrender to it to not create the friction of absolute refusal (and the inevitable struggle and exhaustion) - but delay!

Maybe a minute at first. Maybe 5 minutes. Whatever seems FEASIBLE, not straining. Eventually this can become the new norm - and each moment or minute you add, it gives you more time to desensitize to the urge, to explore it, experiment with it, see what other options are available besides the automatic action it demands.

Most importantly, it proves to you bit by bit that it’s bluffing, it’s not so unstoppable as it claims it is… And then you can try some of the more advanced methods, or progress with this one.

Our thinking about habits, cravings and urges can often become incredibly rigid without noticing. We may eventually come to assume that there's no point in prolonging the "inevitable", why feel this discomfort now if I'll give into it later anyway, why make things worse?

But it's not really all or nothing, and to really understand that we have to feel it.

When urge surfing is practiced long enough, you'll quickly come to see cravings as a WAVEFORM rather than a rigid object. Sometimes, if you practice in a very structured and specific way, it'll even completely alter the way a craving expresses -

Like it will get used to appearing as a warning, disappearing or lessening for a bit on its own, then reappearing more strongly later on (Or even not reappearing for a while at all, if something else has become your focus or method for venting in the meanwhile!)

In a sense it can feel like training your cravings rather than them training you, and that alone gives you a much bigger sense of freedom and agency than before.

Suddenly there's room to play here, ways to change things on a fundamental level! And it doesn't HAVE to come through immense misery and effort. Just a little bit at a time, consistently.

Will post more methods in a while, but feel free to respond, expand on this if you can, share your experiences with it or ask questions.

[insignificantimpressionism]

i wanna put the gayest nastisest shit in your inbox

[euclydya]

every ngih t i go to sleep like aaaAAAAAA!!!!!!! AAAAAA!!!!! AA A AA A !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and every morning i wake up like hehe YAAAAAY YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!! WAHOOO!!!!!!! (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mckitterick]

Urge Surfing - what a powerful concept!

no wonder I'm such a fan of caffeine (and probably why all those coke fans of the 80s got so much done)

it's like lubricant for putting ideas into motion. just ride the wave!

had a genuine revelation in therapy that made me burst out laughing, been a while since I had one of those

[floripire]

welcome to: am i talking myself into it or out of it? anyway, if i were to write s/tefanie s/alvatore as mentioned in l/egacies, but, like, tessa edition tm, she would: look like this, be the child of divorced parents, be a total mama's girl in every sense of the word, have inherited her dad's looks, have very complicated feelings in regards to her dad, would definitely prefer her uncle, would not go to the s/alvaschool despite being a walking-talking vampire cure.

[borderlinereminders]

It kind of falls under the urge surfing skill I talk about a lot, but I know that it can be overwhelming to learn a new skill or read an article about one. So my main tips for dealing with urges:

Tell yourself "later" instead of "no." Sometimes I find by not directly telling my urges "no", I can ignore them in less discomfort.

Remind yourself that you are in control. While you may be having urges, you are in control of how you respond to that.

This urge is temporary. It may not feel like it will pass if you don't act on it, but I promise it will pass, regardless of whether you act on it or not. You can ride this out.

Focus on distractions, like playing a game, talking to a friend, or watching something you enjoy.

There's a lot more detail in the article if you're up to reading it, but if you aren't, those are my quick tips!

[petrichorvoices]

For almost a week now we've been meaning to play VtM: Bloodlines, but we keep just... not. It's right there. The executable is *right there*. Yet here we are, about to go to bed after another night spent just scrolling Tumblr, having not played VtM.

[lifblogs]

I skipped Scary Hour today because I got a cortisone injection in each elbow, and I hadn’t known that was going to happen. That’s all the scary adulting I’m up for today.

[heelcody]

i could really use a cigarette right now I'm still smoking hemps but it's obviously not the same at all on any level ugh

[videostak]

V happy cause ive been in a beach boys mood as of recent and was worried cause its rly been forver i just binged all their shit and like was worried i wouldng like it as much especially after my classic rock stones phase but nope pet sounds still greatest album of the 60s and probs greatest pop/rock album ever and love you is so perfect its so perfect!

[waywardvagabonds]

I put on a nature documentary to distract myself from my own awful brain and she is enthralled.