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sukipershipper · 4 years

Note

Can you spill some of ur bugsnax hcs?

I assume you mean with the characters, in which case, Yes of course! Bear with me though that all of these are going to take place Post-Snaktooth Island. I might do some headcanons on what happened on the island but for now take these.

(SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE END OF THE GAME, I also apologize for it being so freaking long...I actually did not intend on that)

FILBO

They all lived in a small but very prosperous town, said town doesn’t have a name cause Mun isn’t creative enough to make one yet

After being elected Mayor, Filbo had learned to become more assertive with others. His role as Mayor of the small town involves him doing a few small tasks, like cleaning up the streets or helping with lessons at the schools

Other times however he is brought into meetings to plan celebrations, opening new buildings and ways they can develop the community.

His meeting council includes Floofty, who is always helping him out in terms of his decisions.

His office has all of the trinkets and maps from Liz’s adventures, as well as pictures of everything they did on Snaktooth and all the pictures she and Eggabelle have of each other.

Filbo constantly sends out letters in bottles to Snaktooth in the hopes that Liz and Egg will find it and write back. He is still waiting on a response from them

When he gets bored, he often just draws in a spare journal he has. He does this in meetings or when he’s at a lunch with the others

He had a statue of Liz and Egg made and placed in the center of the town to help remember them and what they stood for

WAMBUS/TRIFFANY

Wambus and Triffany live in a small country home just outside the town next to the beach and a small grotto.

The place has a large amount of land for Wambus to start a farm with all sorts of sauces. The beach they live next to has a big cave with all sorts of secrets that Triffany is willing to discover.

Reconnecting with their kids has been a challenge, seeing as they left quite abruptly. The kids did eventually start coming around though.

Wambus is a very good cook, lots of people headcanon it and I headcanon it too. The man can make a mean roast. Only reason he never did it on Snaktooth was because the food was already walking around so he had no need to.

Triffany may look like a stick but she’s actually quite strong. On the same levels as Wambus and Chandlo? Maybe not. But she has punted several people before.

She is also very unconventional in her methods, resulting in lots of Scars and broken bones. Wambus had tried bandaging her up before but after failing 15 times he just called Floofty.

Speaking of Floofty, the couple have a very good relationship with the scientist. Floofty often helps Triffany with collecting samples or attempting to help Wambus with growing crops, though those attempts often result in Wambus yelling and Triffany trying to calm her husband down.

FLOOFTY

Floofty now teaches at the towns school, they’re a very talented professor and many of the students they teach have delighted in their work. Though other teachers find the methods very...unconventional.

Though Floofty is still quite cold hearted to most of the grumpus’ they have learned to be more cheerful towards certain Grumps. One of which being Snorpy and the other being their students.

Many students ask how Floofty lost their leg, to which they reply: That information is irrelevant, but if you truly wish to know then speak with the Mayor

When Not teaching they’re usually helping Snorpy out with anything involving the Grumpinati. Though they aren’t really of much help considering their methods

They definitely are considered a cannibal, Floofty was once seen carrying an arm (no one knows if that was theirs) and took a little nibble of it...then spat it out and complained that it was too salt

They are always helping Filbo out in terms of his mayoral duties.

GRAMBLE/WIGGLE

Gramble and Wiggle share a small little two story home in the town. The house is decorated with all sorts of flowers and different patterns on the fence

While Wiggle is always busy touring, playing music, Gramble became the local veterinarian for the town. His experience with the Snax actually prepared him for the animals.

He also has a small little puppy, ten times better than any of the Snax he had

Gramble still does keep pictures of Sprout around his room, as much as he hated knowing he harbored a parasite in his home, he still missed the little guy. (I am fully convinced the one at the end though was Sprout)

He and Wiggle began dating right after they settled into the house together, believing that it was much needed change for the both of them.

Gramble knits sweaters for Wiggle since she goes out touring so much, he also knits plush versions of the Snax he kept back on Snaktooth. It was the biggest mistake he made, cause now he envisions them staring at him and wanting to murder him

Wiggle always tries to help him when it comes to his nightmares. Playing white noise or ASMR videos so he can go to sleep

Her songs are very well received and she has quite a lot of publicity. Do The Wiggle is still one of her best selling numbers, but she has some love for her other pieces too.

She is always asked to sing at events by Filbo, and of course she never says no. One of her favorite things to do is get one of the kids to come up and sing Do The Wiggle with her since it’s one of the best songs in their opinion

She has a ring box tucked away in her dresser, she’s waiting for the right moment to pull it out on Gramble and propose

CROMDO

Cromdo is doing much better in life, opening up a successful karaoke bar and gets quite a lot of business from some of the guys in town.

He also showed the less serious side of himself a lot more, and once he let down such a defensive guard he was able to get further in life, albeit he still has a long way to go

He and Beffica still don’t get along, but they’re on better terms than they were back on Snaktooth

He hasn’t completely dropped his ways though, he’s still a big old Scumbag (and we love him for it). Often he tries to make a profit off something miniscule like an old bottlecap.

Though Cromdo is still a scumbag, he helped Filbo and Buddy set up Filbo’s campaign to get him elected

Cromdo still tries stealing Triffany’s stuff and Wambus fucking yeets him all the way into town. How he has no broken bones from that is still a mystery to everyone.

BEFFICA

Beffica is now a photographer for the local newspaper, probably not a good choice in many of the Grumps opinions

She is however much better than she was on Snaktooth, and does have a small friend group outside of the Snaktooth Island group

Her old friend group has tried getting in touch with her but she’s very reluctant to talk to them again

Many of the older grumpus’ have basically adopted her because she’s still very shaky after everything, they didn’t expect her to be so shaky but life is surprising.

Her favorite person to go to though is Triffany, for the pure fact that she and Triffany just talk about guys and it’s the best chat ever

She and Filbo are on much better terms, and she may or may not have some feelings hidden for the new Mayor but we will never truly know

She and her ‘Bestie’ go out for Boba tea all the time, a truly fun experience for the both of them

CHANDLO/SNORPY

Chandlo takes Snorpy out on morning runs all the time, he’s proud that his bro is taking baby steps into letting the outside world embrace them

Oh, Snorpy is also He/They now, I honestly feel like it fits them

Snorpy and Chandlo moved to a small little apartment complex for now. The home is very quaint and the two have little designated areas for all the stuff they have.

They also had to make room for Floofty as the sibling insisted on staying with their brother for...reasons

Chandlo goes to library a lot to learn new techniques to help Snorpy, but he also secretly reads up on articles about the Grumpinati in the hopes to help Snorpy destroy them one day

He and Floofty have made a strong pact over the fact that Snorpy must be protected at all costs, no exceptions

Snorpy is a lot more open about what he does now, often asking for advice from Chandlo about his inventions and whatnot.

Neither of them are good cooks, they both try but both almost always burn the complex down so they just ask Floofty to do it

Snorpy actually bruises very easily, he is a literal tomato. So he doesn’t always participate in many physical activities but he does try his best

When Snorpy does bruise, Chandlo goes into full panic mode as he doesn’t know how to tend to wounds. No one ever told him that you can put ice to make it go down quicker

They are married, they have all the paperwork signed and the rings to prove it

SHELDA

She does still go by the name Shelda as people aren’t quite used to calling her Shellsy Woolbag

She actually took up dating when she encountered an old friend of hers, such friend does not have a name because as stated before, Mun is not creative

Shelda has a lot of books and meditation CD’s in her shelves, she also has a Tape Player so when she goes out on walks she can listen to some of the best audiobook readings

She and Floofty get a long a little better, sometimes Floofty will give her insight as to what the world is to THEM and Shelda shares a funny story in return, one that does manage to make Floofty laugh surprisingly.

People don’t often see her get out much, possibly because she’s always busy writing up her experiences and whatnot

She is Buddy’s comfort and the one that they room with currently, she is actually very good company believe it or not

She and Buddy also love writing little stories together as practice for her next book, and they also exchange drawings and doodles they’ve done over the course of the day.

And that’s pretty much it!

#bugsnax #the whole snaxcast #filbo fiddlepie #wambus troubleham #triffany lottablog #floofty fizzlebean #gramble gigglefunny #wiggle wigglebottom #cromdo face #beffica winklesnoot #chandlo funkbun #snorpy fizzlebean #shelda #shellsy wooldbag #headcanon #headcanon dump #really long #spoiler warning #sorry again for it being so lengthy

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queenofimagines · 4 years

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It’s Happened Before

Request: “heyy can you do one where y/n normally plays hard to get around guys but when she’s really drunk one guy won’t leave her alone and jj saves her. When he takes her home he’s super sweet and y/n is all over him, he likes it because he has a huge crush on her but then he feels bad bc he doesn’t want to take advantage. At some point y/n thinks that he will take advantage of her in her drunk mind and she says it’s happened before. ((Also love ur writing sm))💜” by @maybebanks

Warnings: Mentions of sexual assault

Notes: I’ve never written a fic with sexual assault before so I apologize if it’s inaccurate or insensitive in any way, I promise that is not my intention. If any of you find any discrepancies in my writing of it or find anything offending please let me know so I can fix it and so I can pay attention to it in the future. Thank you!

Also, this ended up being really long... sorry not sorry :)

You loved playing hard to get, and JJ loved that you never made it easy for him. He fell for your spit-fire attitude right away and since then had never stopped trying to make you his. If you were being honest, though, you liked this little game of cat and mouse that you and JJ had started when you met. You liked how he followed you around like a lost puppy, but you also took pride in the fact that you got the JJ Maybank, notorious for only ever having one night stands, to want you and only you.

Everyone knew of your little game, many already thinking of you as JJ’s girl and referring to you as such because of how inevitable it was that you two would end up together. You hoped they were right, and that you and JJ would end up in an actual relationship. You were young, you knew that you still needed to figure out exactly what you wanted out of life and where you wanted it to go, but to you, one thing was for certain: no matter what happened or where you went, you wanted JJ Maybank to be there. But you were scared, scared that he’d get bored of you, scared that he only liked you for the chase. You were by no means a thrill-seeker, often opting to go with the safer options when John B presented you guys with whatever adventurous scheme he had come up with. JJ, on the other hand, liked to run headfirst into danger without even so much as a plan, something that made you uneasy. You were sure that when the chase was over you’d have a few weeks of bliss before the realization that you weren’t actually what JJ wanted would hit him like a sucker punch and that he’d leave you like so many others had. What you didn’t know, though, was that JJ was by no means in it for the thrill of the chase.

JJ saw right through you. He knew that your quick wit was a way for you to cover up your fear and your pain. He knew that fear and pain caused you to lead him on this chase in the first place. And sure, he liked it when you played hard to get, but that wasn’t what drew him in. JJ fell in love with the way you cared about him and the other Pogues. He fell for the way you always seemed to have just enough time in your busy schedule to help Kiara clean up the litter that so many had carelessly left behind at keggers, how you always seemed to have just enough time to cook for John B when he wasn’t taking care of himself like he should have, how you always seemed to know exactly what to say to calm down Pope when he got anxious, how you always kept him out late enough so that he would just have to spend the night with you instead of going home, and how, when it was necessary for him to go home, you always seemed to “accidentally” leave your blankets in his room during winter when you knew it would be freezing. JJ fell in love with you because you cared about him in a way no one else had before, the chase you led him on was just part of the fun, but even without it JJ still would have stared at you as if you had hung the moon just for him.

It was the beginning of summer, and high time for you and the Pogues to throw yet another kegger to kick it off. You, for one, were more than happy to get uninhibitedly drunk to drown out the insecurities you had when it came to your maybe-relationship with JJ. You were on your fourth cup of beer by now, the party only having started less than an hour ago, and to say you were plastered was an understatement. You didn’t have a particularly high tolerance, you and the rest of the Pogues were very aware of that, but you didn’t care, you just wanted to get wasted and have fun. JJ knew something was up with you when you chugged your first beer right away as you weren’t the chugging type. All of the Pogues noticed your strange behavior too. They knew that you were the kind of person to sip your beer until you were buzzed and keep yourself in that state but never surpass it. JJ knew something was wrong and assured Kiara, John B, and Pope that he would keep an eye on you when they brought up that one of them should stay sober enough to make sure you didn’t do anything stupid. He reasoned with them, stating that since he was the only one of the four who hadn’t had at least three beers by this point that he would be the best bet to stay sober. The Pogues were confused, knowing JJ to be the first of them to get completely hammered, but they didn’t question him, instead agreeing and turning back to the party. What he neglected to tell them was that he had already made up his mind to stay sober and watch over you at the beginning of the party and that his decision to have only one beer, although it was more like half a beer since he was trying to be as completely sober as possible without it looking too suspicious, was purposely made before anyone else had even noticed how off you were acting.

You were unaware of the lingering eyes on you, you were also unaware that the eyes staring at your figure weren’t just JJ’s. A boy around your age, a Touron you guessed based on his sweatshirt which sported some college that you just knew wasn’t from anywhere near the Outer Banks, had seen you dancing with some old acquaintances of yours and decided it was time to approach you. You didn’t notice him coming up behind you, but JJ did, he didn’t dare make a move though, knowing you hated that macho bullshit and were perfectly capable of handling yourself, but he was still on edge when the boy placed his hands on your hips.

You thought the boy was JJ, really you did. But the second you pressed your back into him you knew you were sorely mistaken. You quickly turned around, eyeing the boy who had put his hands on you not mere seconds before, telling him to go away. You didn’t want him, you wanted JJ, and even your drunk self knew that you would never want to be dancing with anybody else.

“Come on, baby, let’s just have some fun,” the boy said, grabbing your hips again. But you resisted, pushing him away and beginning to walk away in the hopes that you could find said blondie.

“Hey! Don’t walk away from me,” the boy said, tightly grabbing onto your bicep. “Didn’t your parents ever teach you that it’s rude to ignore someone who’s talking to you?”

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you that you shouldn’t be grabbing girls like that?” JJ responded, having seen the interaction from where he stood near the keg and immediately making his way over to you.

“Listen, buddy, I wasn’t talking to you.” The boy stepped closer to JJ, pushing you out of the way and causing you to trip and fall onto the sand. That did it for JJ, who began throwing punches at the Touron who dared lay a hand on you. The Touron didn’t stand a chance against JJ and you quickly realized that you would have to stop him from killing the boy.

“JJ,” you said meekly, hoping that your voice was loud enough to hear. You didn’t want to talk much louder, your head already pounding from the sudden shift of your body when you fell. But he couldn’t hear you, not over the sound of the crowd egging on the fight.

“JJ!” You yelled, already regretting the decision when you felt the throbbing in your head get worse. JJ stopped, looking over at you with furrowed eyebrows. “Can we just go, please?”

JJ slowly nodded, letting go of the Touron and carefully picking you up to take you back to the Chateau. He sat you down on the couch, beginning to move away to turn the lights on, but your grip on his hand was vice-like.

“Y/N, let me turn on the lights, alright sweetheart?”

“No, stay.” JJ couldn’t fight you when you looked so sleepy and utterly adorable. He made his way next to you on the couch where you proceeded to practically fall into his lap. JJ moved so that you were lying comfortably against him, sure that you would probably just fall right asleep. But instead of hearing your soft snores, he felt your hand reach up into his hair and your lips gently trail across his neck. His heart rate sped up, loving the soft attention he was receiving and pulling you closer, running his hands along your sides, only stopping when he heard your breath hitch and felt your body tense.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He asked.

“N-nothing,” you responded.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” He said quickly, afraid that you thought he only wanted to have sex with you and feeling like he was taking advantage of your state of mind by not stopping you from delivering the physical affection he craved. You quickly sat up, staring at him with watery eyes full of disbelief.

“You-you’re not going to...?” You trailed off, not wanting to say it.

“Sweetheart, I’d never take advantage of you like that. Even if you wanted to I wouldn’t let you, you’re not in your right mind right now and I need you to be fully aware if we do this.” He said, thinking that the tears in your eyes and the look on your face were caused by disappointment. Before he knew it you had launched yourself at him, tightly hugging him to you while you sobbed into his shoulder. JJ was beyond confused at this point but he knew that he just needed to be here for you right now. He slowly wrapped his hands around you so as not to startle you.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

“For what?”

“For not taking advantage of me.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that, sweetheart, I’d never do that to you.” You sniffled, mumbling a response. He dearly hoped you didn’t say what he thought you said, but the waver in your voice at the words you spoke was unmistakable.

“It’s not like it hasn’t happened before.” JJ’s heart broke. Someone had taken advantage of you? He quickly pulled you away from him in order to look at you.

“Who?” He questioned. He was beyond angry, ready to fight the person who had made you feel like you needed to thank him for being a decent fucking human being. You shook your head.

“Some Touron a couple of months ago.” A couple of months ago? How did he not know? How could he have let that happen to you?

“We snuck away from the party, I thought he just wanted to talk but I was just being stupid. He was older and made me feel special so I followed along when he suggested we go somewhere else. H-he started touching me, I didn’t want him to. I told him to stop but he didn’t. He started kissing me and then we heard a gunshot. He bolted as soon as he heard it and I tried to come and find you guys.” You were sobbing at this point, not wanting to remember the moment having not fully processed the situation. JJ began crying too, angry that he didn’t protect you and angry that you had been struggling with this alone.

“No, no, no, that’s not your fault. You weren’t being stupid, okay? I’m sorry, sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say, what could he have said? What happened to you wasn’t okay and he wasn’t sure how to handle it either, so he pulled you close to him, letting you cry into his chest despite the pain it caused him to hear your broken sobs. Soon you fell asleep, the rest of the Pogues having come back to the Chateau not too long after, quietly asking JJ if you were alright. JJ shook his head, silently telling them that they’d have that conversation tomorrow. They all nodded, John B heading to his room and Pope and Kie heading to the spare room to give you guys some space.

As JJ lay in the dark, calmed by your steady breathing, he stroked his hand through your hair and promised you that he would protect you, no matter what.

#obx #obx x reader #obx imagine #obx one shot #obx oneshot #outer banks #outer banks imagine #outer banks x reader #outer banks one shot #outer banks oneshot #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank oneshot #rudy pankow #rudy pankow imagine

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sanchoyo · 3 years

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danny phantom, season 3, episodes 7-13 thoughts! cannot believe im finishing this series so fast. ...cannot believe it ended like that...uh. one of the weirdest finales to a show I think I've seen, it really stood out against the rest of the series, and not in a good way, in my opinion. I paused to yell in caps lock...several times, I think, out of anger... BUT. ANYWAY, HERE WE GO.

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-the fentons putting the kids to Work in the lab, with NO SAFETY GEAR. AT ALL. THEY JUST GOT BACK FROM SCHOOL AND ARE TIRED!!! and when jack asked how danny his day was and danny tried to say it was bad jack cut him off :( for the 400th time, i am stealing these kids.

-maddie and jack IMMEDIATELY SELLING THEIR LAB AND WORK FOR A LOT OF MONEY. and danny cant get into the portal anymore, oh no!!! he could always just steal vlads I Guess.

-THEY ARE VLADS NEW NEIGHBOR. OH MY GOD. this is a sitcom format. a butler came with the new mansion. i would absolutely try a kiwi fudge milkshake, why is the butler disgusted.

-the..guys in white bought the lab to shoot a missile. into the ghost zone thru the portal. bro i hate these guys

-jazz straight up setting her new bedroom up in the library. i am very very jealous

-"RATED E, FOR ENTRAILS"

-I like how the 14 year olds very quickly realize if the giw destroy the ghost zone itll destroy OUR ZONE because its just. like. the other side of the quarter so to speak. and the giw, a fully funded government agency, didnt consider that...(or worse, are willing to risk that anyway...)

-a...graphic novel version of the constitution? what in the world have you been READING SAM

-'cool, I always wanted to be called a meddling kid!' scooby doo reference...

-can they keep the butler. I love him.

-ecto latte....I also want to try that. is ectoplasm edible...

-YESS I KNEW DANNY WOULD USE VLAD'S PORTAL. vindicated.

-DANNY WHY DIDNT YOU JUST ASK JOHNNY NICELY. STEALING HIS BIKE IS SO SO RUDE.

-youngblood is also into astronaut stuff, thats really cute. and him being like 'phantom, dude!! :D' ALL EXCITED. THATS ADORABLE.

-the slapstick comedy of the giw slipping and falling and running into shit in the lab. is funny, but also, because this lab has NOOO safety codes in practice. god its a wonder dannys the only one to have died here...

-JOHNNY, SKULKER AND YOUNGBLOOD HELPING DANNY!!! I keep saying it but the other ghosts helping him. is my fav thing in the world. and, it's a really good thing the missile in the real world was harmless...otherwise the fentons wouldn't have had a home/lab to come back to...

-WULF WANTED POSTER!!! we havent seen wulfy in so long :( very funny the box ghost is offended by how much these ghosts are wanted for. first off, what do ghosts even DO WITH MONEY. does the ghost zone have its own currency??? what are ghosts BUYING

-the box ghost is So Funny, im so glad hes still got his bubble wrap. u are VERY wanted in THIS house box ghost. you are SO scary king. dont give up on ur dreams

-this needs to be a meme format. I made a transparent version, very very messily, for future use.

-this is a Fellow and a Friend

-box ghost accidentally bringing lunch for everyone, and giving people at the mall free shoes. SHOES ARE SO EXPENSIVE, ID BE SO GRATEFUL. helpful king. i feel SO bad for him lmao, he's putting in SO much effort. he wants the evil aesthetic So bad but hes Just Too Silly. I understand your plight, box ghost....

-oh my god. pandoras BOX. 'THOSE OF US IN THE BOX TRADE' HOW MANY ARE IN THIS BOX TRADE. I WANT IN. pandora is a multi-armed ghost goddess and i love her.

-SKULKER WHY ARE YOU RUNNING FROM THE EVIL UNICORN?? YOURE A HUNTER!! JUST SHOOT IT!!!!!!! JUST HUNT IT!!!

-box ghost...where did you get the cowboy hat. I respect it, i just want to know

-JAZZ COMING IN WITH THE BAZOOKA TO FIGHT THE 10 HEADED DRAGON!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! and the rest of the fentons I Guess

-ignoring the sam/danny moments. I simple do not see them.

-...why doesnt danny just fly over the maze. or do the whole 'real world people act as ghosts in the ghost zone' and turn back!!! I know its just to show off the ghost greek monster designs. but STILL.

-danny being like. um. hi pandora. i found your box. >< polite...PANDORA IS SO GIANT. GIANT GHOST WOMAN. SHES GOING TO BEAT BOX GHOSTS ASS. another ghost thats nice to danny to add to the list :) and HER FORCING BOX GHOST TO APOLOGIZE. and having sandwiches with danny after making box ghost clean up. I LOVE HER.

-DANNYS 'BEWARE' AT THE END JAKHDJFKN

-okay, when dash pulled out danny's seat and was calling him buddy, for half a second I was like 'this is a prank, hes gonna pull it back' BUT THEN FRIGHT KNIGHT MY BELOVED IS BACK. AND EVERYONE STARTS CHANTING FOR DANNY TO BEAT HIS ASS WITH GHOST POWERS AND DANNY DOES WAY TOO EASILY, and im like, yup, this is a dream LMAO

-danny is getting an A+ in science :) my smart son

-DANNY WAKING UP FROM THE DREAM RIGHT BEFORE KISSING SAM AND BEING LIKE 'that was a dream...no, a NIGHTMARE!' same. not to be a hater but, shouldve been val. maybe I am a hater

-...danny running and checking the 'tapes'...why is his whole house constantly being recorded. hes been in ghost form/fights plenty of times in his house. does he have to run and wipe the tapes after?? every single time?? god

-letting this image speak for itself

-this is SO cursed

-NOCTURN'S DESIGN FUCKS SO HARD. the Venice mask vibes. also his space pattern not moving while the rest of his animation does is big chowder vibes. but this guy is basically the sandman but Evil, huh. I love dream plots. also, nocturn's design feels very similar to clockwork, like, red eyes and a scar over the same eye, but also just the purple, and the Cosmic Vibes. I want to see them fight. anyway nocturn's va was also avatar roku AND alfred in several batman cartoons.

-the 'sleepwalkers' designs were super cute in shape (kinda remind me of oogie boogie! pillow-cased shaped, which is appropriate for the 'king of dreams's minions) until I looked closer at their eyes. why do they look sewn shut!! (they open their eyes a few times, so they aren't, but they look like it...)

-I like how this show has been pretty consistent (with a few exceptions) about a Ghost Being Huge (or getting larger) = Very Powerful

-2 months of summer camping??? wtf, do camping things usually take that long?? I've never been to a camping...thing like that. but isnt that basically their entire summer??

-'the entirety of nature is your bathroom!' and thats why I do no camping despite loving nature LMAO.

-sam, at least TRY TO BE NICE TO THE OTHER GIRLS YOU'RE GOING TO BE SHARING A CABIN WITH. also, the amount of times people in this show have their SHOES ON THE BED!!! IM DISGUSTED

-swamp creature Is A Ghost. Big Foot is a Ghost. starting to think in this universe, every single cryptid or legend is a Ghost Actually

-paulina crying not only because star is missing, but because SHE FORGOT HER SUNBLOCK AND SHE BURNS SO EASILY!!!! okay girlfriends

-ghost cops are the real monsters at the camp. i.......I mean. fair. no one missed you walker

-WULF!!!!!!!!!!! WULF IS BACK!!!!!!!! MY FRIEND WULF :D MI AMAS VIN!!!!! kaj danny lernis Esperanto :)

-'relax kid, we arent here to do any harm' *immediately shoots danny* yeah. ghost cops. and also danny bringing walker 'wulf' and walker IMMEDIATELY SUCKING DANNY IN A THERMOS. FUCK OFF

-haha walker Bald. and haha walker Frozen Now

-the fenton thermos can...reverse its polarity to close portals? okay

-LIBERA MIA AMIKO. :")

-ohhh they end the ep with them star gazing, thats pretty cute...

-dani is back! ...with a new voice actress? wiki says AnnaSophia was in 3 diff movies in 2007 when this aired, so she was probably too busy... (including, bridge to terabithia aka the movie that ripped my heart out that I mentioned in the first ep Dani was in...kinda wanna rewatch it now)

-shes still scared of vlad, who's still being creepy and spying on her. 'shes hardly going to come home to daddy!' I WONDER WHY. also does vlad's cat look more evil than last time? love the concept of him going shopping for cats and being like 'give me your most EVILEST looking cat, please, so I can pet it in my spinny chair dramatically!' ...oh god white cat hair on his black suit. I have a black cat and her hair is still way too noticeable..

-vlad has a big 'valerie' button in his office. can he be pressing that button every episode, thanks

-'theres a GIRL called dani phantom?' yeah valerie. no relation, obviously, even with her looking EXACTLY like danny. so sad valerie just wants to help her dad and her get out of the place theyre in now and vlad using her. ill MAUL HIM

-dani having to STEAL FOOD. :( and valerie immediately being like oh poor kid :(( and trying to help her!!! and then dani immediately helping valerie!! this episode is starting SO well

-...and then valerie catching her. DAMN IT. and being surprised dani knew danny?? HELLO VALERIE I KNOW YOURE SMARTER THAN THIS. I AM SO SORRY THEY WROTE YOU THIS WAY. I STILL LOVE AND BELIEVE IN U !!!

-valerie lying her ASS off for a chance at gettin danny. ok <3 also 'they couldnt catch a ghost if it was living under their own roof' JSDHKJHNK

-danny. why dont you just tell valerie!! this would be so much easier if he was direct. there is NO way valerie would hurt danny (fenton) she'd be HORRIFIED. esp since she got on board helping dani!!

*is held* :)

-look at valerie and danny. flying together. about to go beat vlads ass together <333

-DANI SCREAMING AS VLAD IS MELTING HER. WHAT THE FUCCCK

-...fucking vlad convincing valerie hes a good dude with his stupid duplication. FUCK. DANNY JUST TELL H E R

-jesus christ how many times has danny had to watch loved ones die. even if she didnt stay perma-dead. glad they fixed her...

-valerie and dani pranking danny when he came out, oh :( cute...them havin fun and laughing together...babies

-BUT THEYRE JUST LETTING DANI LEAVE, AGAIN??? SHE WAS PREVIOUSLY STEALING FOOD. CHRIST GIVE HER A PLACE TO LIVE. OR A FAMILY. actually, I think it'd be really cute if, since danny isnt ready to out himself, dani went and lived with valerie?? dunno if her dad would have the money but,, it'd be a cute concept. big sis valerie...

-'tomorrow, it's game on!' 'and ill be ready to play!' THE FLIRTING....DANNY/VALERIE REAL

-oh my god,, valerie found out about vlad in the end. But he doesn’t know she knows!!! the DRAMA!!! HOLY SHIT THAT ENDING.

-this episode was. SO Much and probably one of my favorites out of s3. (I mean, there has been a gross lack of valerie this whole season, so thats not a hard choice to make...)

-FINALE EPISODE TIME.

-the title screen looks different! so no title card...

-vlad has his own fucked up satellite that looks like him?? okay. why does the animation look so different?? are they mixing cg in?? for what. anyway, vlad and the gang in SPACE. danny is 100% living his astronaut dreams rn

-'defeating frostbite' YOU BETTER NOT HAVE. YOU STOLE HIS COOL MAP. FUCK YOU VLAD

-wait oh my god. vlad is the final series boss, isn't he. I half expected a fake out, for another boss to show up midway, and for him to finally have to have a real truce with danny for this ep. ITS THE FINALE. VLAD FEELS SO UNDERWHELMING.

-And it's like-- his character isn't bad, i just feel like..he has more potential! they WANT him to seem like some smart super evil genius, but the way he's written makes that SO hard to believe...but the solid backstory and design is THERE and its FRUSTRATING.

-...DANNY CALLING VLAD OUT SAYING HE NEEDS THERAPY LMAOO THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING.

-my grandpa technus is in the finale too :) 'well look on the bright side, at least im not downloading them illegally!' he says while stealing dvds. feels like hes calling me out. im watching this series on a bootleg website lmao. anyway, him turning the tech into a transformer. love that

-mASters BLASters sTOp diSAsterS shut the fuck up. you will never be valerie or danny. bite chomp kill. violence

-like this if u crie everytiem

-my god the 3d/cgi mixed in looks SO BAD IT DIDNT AGE WELL AT ALL

-the white stripe in dannys hair kinda rules tho. did he just KILL HIS GHOST HALF??? 'revert his human half back to normal' UM. you ever unkill yourself. why are his friends/jazz so mad about it, he'll be in a lot less danger!! christ. they can still hunt ghosts!! as humans!! if they want to!! hes 14 if he wanted to be normal. let him. vlads stupid little team has things COVERED apparently. why are they acting like this. jazz would never act like this. is this fake whats going ON

-oh my god jack was in a college band. vlad was also in the band. what did instruments they play. i didnt need that headline to tell me they sucked, but i want to KNOW MORE REGARDLESS

-valerie was here for 0.3 seconds.

-sam calling danny selfish. the audacity. no one is stopping YOU from hunting ghosts, girl. valerie does it!!

-I'm halfway through the episode and incredibly underwhelmed so far.

-why would they send jack and 3 teens to space to destroy the asteroid. why not professional astronauts. not even the 3 teens that have already been to space this episode...

-jack getting beat up by teenagers. ON TV. IN SPACE. I GUESS. I GUESS EVERYONE AGREED TO SEND JACK BECAUSE..VLAD SAID SO? we know it was to embarrass jack, but why would everyone agree. why didnt any other space program Do More or whatever, they sent like, 3 rockets/missiles tops?? no way

-danny attempting to punch vlad in the face. i WISH HE WOULDVE LANDED THAT HIT.

-vlad outed himself on live tv, on purpose? and BLASTED AT THE TEENAGERS HE HIRED. LMAO. HES HOLDING THE WORLD HOSTAGE, MAKING THEM PAY HIM BILLIONS TO STOP THE STUPID ASTROID. THATS YOUR GRAND PLAN??? REALLY. REALLY. im like. lmfao

-jack just now, on the last episode GETTING TOLD HE MADE VLAD A GHOST. THIS SHOULDVE HAPPENED WAY SOONER. jack's reaction was one of the only times in this entire show hes seemed human. 'an old friend? no. you? yes.' GET HIS ASSSS ACTUALLY. HE STRAIGHT UP LEFT VLAD IN SPACE. GOD DAMN. that is a Murder! I mean, I guess vlad could fly back to earth, but...I mean, he'll have to, right? no food in space. (that we KNOW of...)

-'thE WHolE EArtH, INTangiBLe?!' oh my god.

-...the white strand of hair somehow still had ghost dna, I guess, and getting blasted turned him back into phantom. I GUESS. I GUESS.

-the fentons being the first to clap for danny despite not knowing hes phantom...that was sweet. and very sudden character development, not at all gradual over the course of time or episodes like it probably should have been...

-sam and danny kissing. IT SHOULDVE BEEN VALERIE, BUT OKAY, I GUESS. also, its a little underwhelming, considering theyve kissed already...

-ALL of the ghosts being ready to beat danny's ass? really. no they wouldn't, they've worked together before, and some of those ghosts are friendly!! cringe. why is the last ep written like this. I mean they came thru at the last minute but. was really cringing for a minute there, why did they write it like that

-valerie is there for another 0.3 seconds! ....she should've been more involved. dani is also there! for also like 0.3 seconds. almost fast enough to miss. (btw, I think shes still homeless at this point, are, we going to...do ANYTHING ABOUT THAT IN THE LAST 5 MINS OF THE SHOW)

-the cgi smoke or whatever it is. this whole post is me saying the cgi is bad, but IT IS.

-'danny or should we say. DAAANNNNY.' this is like the 3rd or 4th time hes been outed damn, but to the whole world, again. and valerie saw, and is just. an extra in the bg clapping. bro im so mad.

-TUCKER IS THE NEW MAYOR? WHAT THE FUCK?? HES 14.

-i think. this is still linked to the dream ep a few times ago. hes still dreaming. this is a plot a 14 year old would write. this feels like a bad fanfic. so much got rushed, and not tied up. vlad wasnt really even the villain this episode, a fucking. non-being asteroid was.

-they kiss again. ok. sure. whatever at this point.

-VLAD IS NOW A FREE-ROAMING SPACE NOMAD. I GUESS. THATS. SURE. WHATEVER. THE END, I GUESS. cannot believe I'm saying this, but: they did vlad dirty.

-IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE HIM A VILLAIN, MAKE HIM A VILLAIN!!! DON'T MAKE IT A METEOR!!! STOP BEING WISHY WASHY WHO WANTS TO SEE DANNY VS ASTEROID!!! I didnt even WANT vlad to be the final villain because his character is SO back and forth (esp this season.) but he has done some FUCKED UP SHIT AND I WANTED THE WRITERS TO DOUBLE DOWN, PERSONALLY, IF THEY HAD TO MAKE HIM THE FINAL BOSS. the cabin ep where he basically held danny and maddie hostage? FUCKED. THE DANI THING? FUCKED. FUCKING COMMIT AND MAKE HIM ACTUALLY SCARY OR HAVE HIM FUCK OFF AND AGREE TO A TRUCE!! WHAT IS THIS DYING IN SPACE NONSENSE. (and, he will (fully) die out there, right? still half human, still needs food and water. I imagine he'll like, slowly half-die but this time his human side is dying. will he come back 100% ghost? we dONT KNOW. WE DONT GET TO SEE, ITS PLAYED LIKE SOME FUNNY THING AT THE END, THEN THATS IT!!! WHAT!!!)

-I don't know how to articulate how FRUSTRATING THAT IS. having him basically out himself and ''hold the world hostage'' does not track at all in my brain. like. he's always been scary because he is HUMAN, TOO. like, if he was 100% ghost, he'd be LESS scary, but vlad MASTERS has more power and influence than vlad PLASMIUS because of his position as mayor, his money, too, and his (supposed, s3 made me doubt it) intelligence/manipulation skills, and his being in good graces with jack made it HARD FOR DANNY. him outing himself for,, money and to 'control the world' i guess?? MONEY WAS NEVER HIS LIKE, MAIN GOAL. yeah obv he likes money and is materialistic and values his Rich Life, but hes got billions, the end goal? 1. getting maddie (and or danny as his son, but to me he always treated that as secondary) 2. ruining jack. this feels like they wanted to say 'oh he just wants POWER' which is. HMM?? OKAY?? obv he /does/ want power (usually over certain ppl, tho), but seeing him try to get it like this FELT WEIRD SOMEHOW. weird like the ep where he tried and failed to take over various historical civilizations, because like,, how is that realistically going to do anything for him?? just, being in that time forever and never seeing maddie aka Goal #1 again?? HELLO??? this was like that, but worse

-this was such a weird ending to an entire show. why did season 3 only have 13 episodes?? why did it feel so weirdly paced?? WHY WAS THE ENDING LIKE THAT. I think. I am going to pretend I did not see that. fucked up, dudes. I'm like...hm. I shouldn't have watched that because now I'm mad. valerie sweetie im SO sorry you shouldve been more present. it felt like..if they knew this season was going to be short, and the last season, they should've spent more time wrapping up EVERYONE'S plot lines for the entire season. imagine how cool it wouldve been if every single ep of season 3 was working towards something, a big, nice wrap up at the end, with nothing feeling TOO rushed because they'd been heading towards the End for the whole season....

I will probably end up writing a follow up full series thoughts post. In a couple of days so I can sit with my thoughts. BUT. overall, I really liked the show! (ignoring the finale and some of the moments that aged pretty poorly...) it was charming and a fun concept and very fun to watch in general :) and I am pretending the finale didnt happen <3 and I’m gonna dive RIGHT into the dp tags and mix fanart and posts in my queue, very excited to run and look at that 🏃🏻 (and, of course, make more fanart myself hehe >:3)

#dp thoughts #danny phantom #sanchoyorambles

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aangfanclub · 4 years

Text

liveblog s2 ep1: the avatar state

this episode got us SCREAMING yall,, this show is gonna kill me

Ok i need yall to know that everytime we watch the intro levi says “chwater, chearth, chire, chair” and we yell at him

Sokka is onscreen. We applaud

Nooo WHATTTT why does baby keep having nightmares?? Let aang have nice dreams!!

Aang?? Buddy????? Are u good?? Oh no oh noooo!!

Look at those cute hammocks i want one

Sis: do you think zuko’s short for zucchini

Katara’s so cute even in her sleep!!! An angel truly

Oh aang u could never be scary ur so soft i luh u

Oh we gettin gifts?? This is like that narnia scene but like Avatar santa

TAKE CARE SON JDSJKKJSKLJDSKJLDD SOKKA DESERVES BETTER

[ an intermission in which we all yell at the screen abt how sokka deserves more]

Give sokka a gift!! Love and cherish sokka!!!!!

King bumi?? Hello?

Iroh said i been missing vibing naked, the height of luxury

Bro: Imagine waking up in the morning and saying ‘its time to rub an old mans back’

Oh zuko so MOODY THAT HAT OHHHH

Baby was THIRTEEN when he was banished??? Oh????? Everyday my outrage over zuko’s tragic backstory grows

Iroh i love u but gain one communication skill i beg you

[Bro: hold up why do the fire nation soldiers look like that

Sis: they’re fashionistas

Bro: they look like sumo wrestlers]

Sis: azula has NO RIGHT to be like this where is HER tragic backstory?? She just rlly is the worst person huh

Oooh...put some shoes on bubba that’s nasty

THATS RIGHT “mighty katara” u go girl

hes not a weapon hes a BABY!! Hes a CHILD stop putting that on him its not his FAULT

Bro she got lightning powers?? Lightning bender?? WHAT??????

We rlly thought zuko was the most dramatic in the family but hes only the most emo

HONEY NOOOOO DONT FIGHT THE FIRELORD someone protect him

katara dont yell at him hes doing his best!!!

Someone gave aang a 10 hour energy?? dfsjklsdkjl did they forget he was 12

Kjfdhgjksd sokka and momo pulling thru with the jokes we STAN

Yall rly said aang we need the avatar to defeat the all powerful firelord. Eat some dirt

ZU ZU ARE U KIDDING ! IM LOSING IT

Ohhhhh baby just wants to be loved,,, give zucchini a hug

Katara thank u for being the only one around here caring abt aang’s emotional state. Everytime i wish someone would say something to aang katara immediately says it and for that im forever in her debt

I can’t take this . i love aang too much why must this show make him sad

ZUKO JUST WANTS CARE I CARE HIM ohhhhhh kiddo

DONT yell at iroh.

STOP GIVING AANG NIGHTMARES CHALLENGE LET HIM SLEEP FOR ONCE CHALLENGE

Hair down sokka hello?????????????? EBOY SOKKA HELLO??

Zuko smiling?????? I CANT HANDLE IT

This is such a trap and i know zukos gonna get hurt and im so upset !

STOP HURTING AANG OMG THATS A CHILD I HATE THIS KING MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THIS ENTIRE SHOW

“Results” i hate you. I hate you

YES sokka go get ur baby brother

We hate azula. We hate azula in this household she has NO rights

Zuko just wants to go home,, he needs to realize that uncle iroh is his home :((((

Ohhhh yikes prisoners nooooo

These zuko/aang parallels are literally gonna kill me

Sis: give momo a gun. Give momo a gun

We love sokka’s boomerang

DO NOT ATTACK KATARA DO NOT

He made her water into mud????? Whoahhh earthbenders have rights actually

Oh baby is CRYING NOOOOOO

Hes gonna kill that guy. Aang is literally gonna kill him and honestly im ok with that

Sis: STOP TRAUMATIZING ZUKO CHALLENGE TRAT ZUKO LIKE A PERSON CHALLENGE DROWN ZUKOS SISTER CHALLENGE

Can all firebenders lightning bend????????

I hope aang kills this guy i rlly do

Bro: spirit world is he gonna see yueeee??? sis: shut UP

What????? The avatar can die??? WHATTTT

Wow i hope this guy dies. YES SOKKA KNOCK HIM OUT WE STAAAAAAN

Azula go jump in a river

#liveblog

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mistymark · 5 years

Text

nct + wayv as types of friends

this isn't ordered im so sorry

Johnny: the hot guy friend that you wish you had fallen for, you've been friends for absolute years, probably met you when you were still sporting middle school acne and braces, he knows exactly what you look like when you wake up with a hangover and last night’s makeup still on, you always have a shoulder to cry on and he’s always slinging an arm across your shoulders just cause youre the perfect height, likes driving you places, stressed if you drive

Taeil: the older brother friend that jokes around with you all the time out of love, your parents probably love him more than they love you, invites himself over for dinner a lot and pretends your parents invited him without you, gets really happy when they go along it, accompanies you on errands just to spend time with you, makes you buy things for him as a reward, ends up buying you more stuff

Taeyong: the how-are-you-even-friends-he’s-so-out-of-your-league friend that you’re genuinely still surprised he hasn’t abandoned you yet, he doesnt notice the stares from others when you hang out, holds your hand platonically, jokes about how if hes not married when hes 40 hes going to propose to you, gets flustered when you assure him hell be lucky to make it to 30 without being snatched up, wonders why you can't believe the same thing for yourself when you're the greatest person in the world to him

Yuta: the k-drama guy friend that used to make you question how you felt about him, treats you like a sister, invites you on family outings and trips with his fam, everyone thinks you’ve been harbouring secret feeling for each other, but youre honestly just very comfortable around each other, will 100% pick you up and carry you around like its nothing, doesn’t understand why other girls that he dates get jealous

Kun: the too-perfect friend that honestly just has everything under control, he’s excelling at everything it makes you feel like even more of a mess, but he’s always willing to help you out, laughs at you a lot but he really doesn’t mean to, wonders why he’s friends with you but spends 5 minutes in your company and realises how much he loves you, brings you souvenirs from countries he’s visited when he goes on holidays

Lucas: the boyfriend-but-we’re-not-dating friend that treats you like his girlfriend basically, looks at you like you’re his entire world, daydreams about moving in with you and travelling and exploring the world with you, brings you as his date to every fancy event, constantly says you deserve better than any guy you date, tries to set you up with "worthy guys" (his friends), gets offended when you ask if he means himself

Mark: the FaceTime friend that you don't always see because he's so busy, but he facetimes and calls and texts whenever he can, stays up late on FaceTime with you to keep you company while you study, always makes you laugh, invites you to do really fun and odd activities over the summer, texts you dumb memes during that day, asks to call you when it's late at night, likes to sit at a convenience store or cafe and just talking when you hang out, always gives you a really big hug before you leave

Jaehyun: the friend your parents wish you would date, sweet and charming and always brings something when he's invited over for dinner, laughs warmly when your parents ask for the millionth time why you're not together when you're both single, dedicates songs to you on the radio passive aggressively like "here's to the person who thinks Bohemian Rhapsody is by AC/DC", won't ever (intentionally) embarrass you, once said he wanted to spend every valentines with you and didn't realise the connotation until later

Jaemin: the friend that makes everyone else wish they had a friend like him, has his own shit but hides it so well everyone thinks he's perfect, brings a bag full of snacks whenever you hang out, texts you when he's away with sad faces saying he misses you, platonic PDA, says he wants to watch a movie but ends up talking through it, you end up sitting normally on opposite ends of the couches but suddenly one of you lying against the other and that's completely normal, you spend hours in each other's bedrooms alone and no one bats and eye

Doyoung: the friend you want to keep for the rest of your life, he somehow knew how to adult at like age fifteen, the one you call when your microwave breaks or you get a flat tire, you get called mom and dad by your other friends, except doyoung is mom and you're dad, you see him shirtless a lot, laughs when you throw clothes at him and yell at him to get dressed, probably has a box of his stuff at your place because he never leaves, likes going out at night with you

Renjun: probably the friend you had a crush on when you were a kid, grown up together but you weren’t particularly close back then, “weren’t you the one in fourth grade who-”, constantly steals your food but always offers you half of whatever he’s got, “it’s your turn to pay”, once accidentally stood up a date because you asked him to come over and he forgot he had somewhere else to be, falls asleep way later than you so when he stays over you always wake up to some new piece of art he did cause he was bored

Winwin: the savage friend who will not let you live, basically acts like he hates you, squirms away and looks disgusted when you cuddle him, rolls his eyes and hugs you back when you pout at him, buys you coffee a lot, likes it when you try and sneakily take pictures and videos of him because he looks good, complains that his parents like you more than they like him, actually doesn’t hate wearing matching clothes, happy to do whatever when you hang out

Jeno: basically Kun part two, he is just so good at everything you feel infinitely inferior, always trying to impress you by doing some cool new trick, likes going to the park or local playground with you, you act like children around each other, offers to buy you ice cream when youre sad, ends up eating half of it himself, tells you that youre pretty with only a little bit of blushing, regrets agreeing to go to the school dance as a group and wishes he’d just asked you to be his date

Donghyuck: the teasing friend, hes basically your annoying little brother, which you absolutely adore about your friendship, makes you feel like a queen because he wants your attention so much, asks you to come over to help him study so he can spend time with you, video game competitions are a must, lots of playful bets, he asks you to be his date to the school dance in a joking “ur alright I guess lol” way but hes also kinda shy about it

Chenle: the friend that used to have a crush on you, he got over it pretty quickly after you became friends, always doing dumb stuff so if youre not there to do it with him hes sending you photos and videos of him doing it by himself, tells you that you should come with him on family vacations and actually means it, sends you happy birthday texts at midnight so he can be the first one, interrupts FaceTime calls with “hold on I gotta take a shit”

Jisung: (you guessed it) the baby friend that you feel like you need to protect, he actually ends up protecting you most of the time, hes kind of a human shield, laughs when you hide behind him, frowns when you squish his cheeks, his favourite place to hang out is your house, likes walking to the convenience store for snacks but pretends he doesnt, lies on your bed dramatically and asks you to go without him, shocked when you pretend to leave without him

Hendery: your knight in shining armour, you first became friends as kids when a teacher was accusing you of something (you definitely did do) but he stuck up for you and got you out of trouble, has been doing it ever since, asks you why youre not in love with him yet, best moral support and study buddy, gets offended when you tell him hes not your first choice for a date to the dance, definitely is your first choice tho

Xiaojun: the platonic-or-romantic friend that you always wonder about, actually kind of romantic, plays songs for you, isn't afraid to sing for you, laughs when you mess up the lyrics of songs, lends you his jackets and hoodies, daydreams about what it would be like if you dated and wonders if it would be weird, neither of you are interested in that though, steals your coffee and screws his face up when its not what he normally gets, impromptu sleepovers

Yangyang: the childhood best friend, been your best friend for years and won't let you forget it, jokingly gets jealous when he feels like hes being ‘’’replaced’’’, likes going shopping with you, very blunt about what looks good and what doesn’t, gives you things to try on as a joke, probably has a good texting relationship with your mother, smiles with pride when his pets like you, has a list of places he wants to go with you saved on his phone

Ten: the friend that acts like a five year old, always makes you smile and laugh, tires you out sometimes because he just has so much energy, dances with you around your living room, smiles really wide when you tell him hes handsome, teases you that you should just confess that youre in love with him, makes fun of you a lot and its so funny that you laugh along too, your contact name in his phone switches between “love of my life <3″ and “bitch”

Jungwoo: the confident friend, hes not afraid to embarrass you in public, yells across stores and restaurants for you, shoves his camera in your face to get funny photos of you, likes spending time with you in parks and outdoors, complains about it though, laughs when you complain that he takes up too much room on your couch and slouches so that he takes up even more, uses you as a pillow

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solasan · 4 years

Text

otp tag.

tagged by @masonsfreckles and @impossible-rat-babies and like definitely also someone else but my activity is super clogged up so i cant find who I’m Sorry 🥺 but thank u remus and owen mwah tagging: @denerims @arlathen @lvllns @trvelyans @lavellane @chuckhansen @rosebarsoap @cheydinhaal @darksprawn @deepspeech @yennefre and anyone else who wants to do it tbh

DISAGREEMENTS.

who is more likely to raise their voice?

i mean both, probably? they’re both very passionate people

who threatens to leave but never actually does?

i’ll hesitantly say june but i dont think they’d reach that point

who actually keeps their word and leaves?

neither lmao

who trashes the house?

in day-to-day life, june; she’s very messy. in fights? neither bcos that’s messed up. the Most that’ll happen is adam cracking a piece of furniture in his fist by accident

do either of them get physical?

uhhh they’ll spar from time to time, but outside of that, never

how often do they argue/disagree?

in the beginning?? all the fucking time. every day. they butt heads like they were made to do it. further in, they argue much less, especially once june’s proved adam’s whole “humans are weak!!!” thing wrong

who is the first to apologize?

adam gets bullied into it by nate sometimes. june won’t apologise unless she’s absolutely certain she’s in the wrong, but it does happen. so i guess it depends on the argument

SEX.

who is on top? who is on bottom?

i hate applying the top/bottom thing to m/f ships but adam’s A Top i guess. june is 100% a bottom. but when it comes to actual positioning they’ll change; adam likes missionary a lot, but june likes sitting in his lap and riding him, so

any kinks?

adam is lowkey lowkey very lowkey into orgasm control/denial im calling it. he just likes taking control, but not in an explicit bdsm sense??? june’s into dirty talk and does have a praise kink. she has to coax adam into talking in the beginning but when he gets into the swing of things he loves it

june used to be into getting tied up, but the whole murphy situation kinda fucked that for her

who has the strangest desires?

june probably wins this just purely based on the fact that she wants adam to bite her lmao. he would find that strange. but he would also be into it so

who’s dominant in bed?

adam !!! again not in the traditional like bdsm dominant sense but he takes charge of things

is head ever in the equation?

uhhh, yeah ??? all the time

if so, who is better at performing it?

look. june is very good. she is. but adam has 900 years on her and also more enthusiasm / touch starvation / desperation. adam is a pussy eating KING

ever had sex in public?

the most public they’ve gotten is fucking in the tech lab at the warehouse, that’s it

who moans the most?

both moan, but june’s louder. she’s freer ??? with it ??? but adam grunts and gasps and pants a lot, and when he’s abt to come he’ll groan out her name or a french curse so

who leaves the most marks?

june’s the one that goes out of her way to make marks, just bcos shes a lil sad they fade so quickly. adam leaves the most just bcos june doesn’t heal in the same way

who is the more experienced of the two?

adam might be 900 years old but we all know he’s not had many relationships. june’s more experienced bcos she has one-night stands in college before her and bobby got together

do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

im so sorry but if u look at adam du mortain and think that he doesn’t make love 99% of the time, ur wrong. but sometimes they do get super passionate / desperate for each other, and then they’ll fuck

how long do they usually last?

in the beginning adam lasts like 2 seconds, no joke. that man sees even a hint of june’s coochie and he busts a nut. but further in he can last longer. unless june is being a shit and deliberately trying to get him to come, which she does do

rough or soft?

soft for the most part. if it ever is rough it’s like..... more bcos it’s intense, passionate, less bcos either of them is trying to make it rough. june has some sexual trauma too so really rough sex, like w choking for example, is out of the question (not that i think adam is into choking anyway)

is protection used?

it should be, and when they remember to they do use it. but also they forget a lot shdkshdkd does june look like the type of person to get pregnant on purpose??

does it ever get boring?

nah they keep it fresh. plus they love each other so much it’s just always so good to have each other ???? like after So Long Pining it’s just good idk bro shdjsjdk

where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

idk probably the tech lab like i said above ??? i dont think they fuck in many weird places — not bcos i dont think june would be into it, but more bcos i figure if they ever start getting freaky adam gets them into a bed / somewhere private STAT

FAMILY.

do they plan on having children / do they have children?

yeah they vaguely want them in the future i guess. adam thinks abt june having his baby and has to lie down he 🥺 so hard

if so, how many children do they want/have?

their first kid — emma — is an accident born like a year after they get married, and then oliver comes along a year after that because june always said she didn’t want only one kid. she remembered how lonely she was as a kid :(((

AFFECTION.

who likes to cuddle?

both of them !!! adam is touch-starved and june is starved for affection !!! they cuddle all the time

who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

june 100% no question. WHORE. adam is so done with her but he does always drag her off somewhere to Ravish her so rly who’s winning here

who struggles to keep their hands to themself?

shdkshdkskd both of them. june slightly more so tho

how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

uhhh i dont think it’s rly a matter of one getting uncomfortable, bcos they do love it. probably it’s just as long as they can hold out before 1) june has to pee, or 2) adam resolves to be productive

what is their favourite non-sexual activity?

adam would never admit it but he loves watching movies with june purely bcos she gets so cuddly and ALSO she gets so into them. she’s the type of person to yell at the screen and ask questions all the time. sometimes they’ll compete to see who can work out the plot / twist / mystery of a film first

where is their favourite place to cuddle?

in bed !!!!! adam loves having her whole body pressed up against him, all small and soft and smelling like june, and june loves how he tucks her into his chest and makes her feel so safe and warm

SLEEPING.

who snores?

ahskhkdja june !!!

if both do, who snores the loudest?

adam doesn’t snore so june. but she doesn’t do it that loudly

do they share a bed or sleep separately?

they share a bed !!!! it’s adam’s way of making sure june does actually go to bed, for one, but also he doesn’t like to sleep without her

if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

cozy up together !!!!! adam’ll kiss her hair and tuck her head under his chin, and june’ll wrap her arms around his torso and kiss the hollow of his throat

what do they wear to bed?

june wears raggedy old band tees or oversized hoodies, boxer shorts, lots of comfy clothes. flannel pyjama trousers. sometimes she’ll sleep in adam’s shirts bcos they smell like him and she likes that, but when she does sleep in adam’s shirts they uhhh haha dont sleep for a while ;)))

are either of them insomniacs?

june is !!! i think around book 4, maybe 5, someone’s gonna talk her into seeing someone abt it — because she really doesn’t sleep a healthy amount, i’m talking 5-8 hours a week — and she’ll start taking sleeping pills, but for now she just drinks a fuckload of coffee and keeps herself busy.

adam’s not rly an insomniac per se, but he doesn’t sleep as much as humans do, obviously

can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

later in the series, yeah. i could see her being put on quetiapine bcos that’s what im on and that shit works

do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

wrap their limbs around each other !!!! june’s like a cuddly octopus shdksjdl but adam loves it, honestly. he’ll often wrap his arms around her and put on of his hands up her shirt, over her spine, so he can have some nice skin-on-skin contact. yknow....... as a treat

who wakes up with bed hair?

both !!!! june’s is probably a bit worse bcos it’s longer ????

who wakes up first?

eh, depends. i’d say adam, bcos he’s More Responsible, but june really doesn’t sleep much, so it could go either way

who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

neither ??? june doesn’t cook and adam’s not a good cook

what is their favourite sleeping position?

either adam on his back with june tucked into his chest, his arms around her, or both of them on their sides and adam spooning june. they love em !!!!

do they set an alarm each night?

they do. june has broken multiple alarm clocks, tho, so make of that what u will

who has nightmares?

both :((( june’s are more frequent, i think

can a television be found in their bedroom?

nah. adam wouldn’t want one, and june watches everything on her laptop

who has ridiculous dreams?

probably june. she’ll sleepily recount them to adam the next morning in bed and he’ll either hm? into her neck to show he’s listening or huff a laugh against her skin

who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

june. adam has learned to accept this fact about her. usually he’ll just position her so that they’re both comfier when she does it, but he has been woken by her elbowing his side before

who makes the bed?

adam. june cba with that shit. she’s just gonna get back in it anyways !!!!

what time is bed time?

adam pushes june to go to bed by 11. sorry u gotta take care of ur stupid energiser bunny girlfriend, buddy

any routines/rituals before bed?

eh nothing in particular i dont think ??? nothing out of the standard brush teeth / clean face / get into pjs thing anyway

who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

june is the GRUMPIEST. she’s not a morning person in the slightest

WORK.

who is the busiest?

hmmmmm. they’re both probably equally busy ??? i mean adam’s the head of the unit so he probs has work he has to do, but then june’s basically the head of the department bcos the captain’s never around, so she has a lot of work. and she has to balance that work with the agency. maybe june’s slightly busier ???

who rakes in the highest income?

eh they’re probs around the same ???

are any of them unemployed?

nope

who takes the most sick days?

june bcos adam doesn’t get sick. also sometimes she just wants A Personal Day and / or is hungover

what are their jobs?

he’s a commanding agent, she’s a liaison and also police detective

who sucks up to their boss?

haha adam’s technically june’s boss and she loves to suck badum tss

who is more likely to turn up late to work?

june shdjshdk girl is Bad at time management. sometimes tho they’ll both be late bcos a morning fuck went on too long. june is very smug on these days

who stresses the most?

uhhh both stress a lot ?? june has anxiety. but adam also is constantly on edge so ????

do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

yeah they enjoy them i guess. adam definitely enjoys his. june is..... complicated. she doesn’t trust the agency and she doesn’t rly wanna be a cop, but she doesn’t know what else she could do so ???

are they financially stable?

yeah for the most part. the agency has good salaries

HOME.

who does the washing?

i think maybe june does it more often just bcos as a human she....... probably ???? goes through more clothes ??? that makes sense to me ??? idk hsdk

who takes out the trash?

adam, usually. especially if it’s dark; june ain’t going nowhere at night

who does the ironing?

again, adam. just bcos he’s more likely to have clothes that need ironing. june has never touched an iron in her life

who does the cooking?

i mean june is notorious for not cooking but rather ordering takeout, so...... i mean i dont think adam is a bad cook but he can rly only cook rly bland, simple meals, and he obviously doesnt need to eat so. i guess if it’s one of them it’s june

who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

yeah june sdhskdhksdk she just has a very short attention span bro idk what to tell u

who is messier?

yep june no question. adam’s a lil bit of a neat freak im calling it

who leaves the toilet roll empty?

neither

who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

yeah june. sometimes adam if he’s had a long day tho. or like if theyre getting Freaky and leaving clothes everywhere. but in general, june’s more likely

who forgets to flush the toilet?

ew gross people do that ?? neither

who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

june shdjjsjdk

who answers the telephone?

uhh both ig ?? but they don’t have like a landline or anything they only have their cells

who mows the lawn?

adam, but only once they’ve moved out of june’s apartment after having the kids. june’s got a black thumb bro she’s not allowed near the garden on nate’s orders

who does the vacuuming?

both !!! they take turns

who does the groceries?

june 100% and she always ends up getting shit that wasn’t on the list shdjskdk. sometimes they’ll do it together tho

who takes the longest to shower?

uhhhh i mean. i think they shower together quite a lot so ???? both ???

who spends the most time in the bathroom?

like getting ready ???? uhh depends. if june’s doing makeup, her, but she doesn’t do it often

MISCELLANEOUS.

is money a problem?

nahhh the agency pays them well

how many cars do they own?

originally only june’s shitty little hatchback, but when the kids are born they get a second one. probably it is very pretty and fancy and expensive, because adam

what’s their song?

either dermot kennedy’s power over me, or fortress by bear’s den. like, seriously, look up the lyrics; they’re the ULTIMATE adamjune songs

do they live in the city or in the country?

does wayhaven count as a city, even if it’s like... a small town ??? idk

do they own their home or do they rent?

june’s renting her apartment currently, but when ollie and emma are born, they buy a place at the edge of town

do they enjoy their surroundings?

eh. neither of them are especially fond of wayhaven, but i think maybe it grows on them over time ??? june definitely in her current point in canon is only there bcos she doesn’t know where else to go

what do they do when they’re away from each other?

Yearn like fools. they miss each other shdjshdk they’ll call each other if adam is ever sent out on an assignment away from town or june has to take some kinda business trip. theyre always super happy to be reunited

where did they first meet?

at an abandoned warehouse in book 1. june shot him. it was great

who spends the most money when out shopping?

uhhhhhh bro i genuinely don’t know ??? adam and june both have terrible taste in clothes; he walks around in cargo pants half the time and she’s never not in something oversized and baggy and possibly falling apart ???

ig june spends a lot on technology ??? and on food ????

who’s more likely to flash their assets?

ok i mean adam has already in canon gotten shirtless and flashed his assets at june while convinced he feels nothing for her so. him. he’s a show-off we all know this

any mental issues?

yeah lmao. june already had ptsd before canon from being assaulted in college, and now it’s just worse bcos of everything with murphy and shit. she also has depression, because obviously, and anxiety. also adhd if that counts ??? it probably counts

i think adam’s got some ptsd too from that Terrible Fiery Scene Of Death we saw in the mirror from his past, and probably that’s compounded by experiences since he became a vampire too ??? possibly some depression as well just bcos i’m now considering his whole ‘numb for years’ thing and how that overlaps with depression ?? :/// idk

who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

adam doesn’t trip often but when he does june howls with laughter. usually if he’s tripping it’s bcos she’s done something Very Distracting. one time she took her shirt off in their living room when he wasnt expecting it and he walked into a wall

when june trips (which she often does) adam will sorta snort very quietly or his lips will twitch but he’ll always stabilise her quickly

who’s terrified of bugs?

yep june 100%

who kills the spiders around the house?

shsjdhskdjk ADAM. “june, it’s just an insect.” “um, untrue, it’s an arachnid, those are different fucking things—” “it’s miniscule. even more so than you are.” “okay, ha, ha, very funny, please kill it, adam i’m serious, kill it, it has eight legs, it’s waiting to murder me, fucking kill it!” “i’m killing it, calm down.”

do they have any fears for their future?

yeah. june’s worried she’s gonna get totally murdered lmao bcos odds are someone’s gonna try again. adam is also terrified abt this distinct possibility. he’s also scared that, like... she’ll live ??? as in ??? she won’t ever turn, she’ll stay mortal her whole life, and after waiting 900 years for her, he’ll only get a few decades with her before she dies.

that’s like not gonna happen she absolutely becomes a vampire after emma and ollie are born but still. he’s dramatic

their favourite place?

the warehouse, probably ??? it’s safe and secure and it’s comfortable ??? or else june’s apartment. i think june prefers her apartment just slightly

who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

adam ??? but it’s more likely that they’d go out to a fancy dinner, rather than him cook one

who pays the bills?

they split them

who’s the tallest?

sndjhskdjkd adam. june hates and loves this fact in equal measure. adam is very smug abt how teeny tiny his girlfriend is shdkshdk he finds it very funny. also very sweet he loves it

who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

both, honestly. theyre bad at keeping their hands off each other once they’re together. maybe june is ever so slightly more likely ?? idk

who wanders around in their underwear?

both. adam likes to distract june w his abs bro what can i say. june just is most comfortable walking around in a sports bra and briefs

who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

june !!! and she’ll lean into his face and sing right at him with this big dumb grin too. adam will refuse to make eye contact but he’ll have this tiny lil smile on his face

what do they tease each other about?

everything. june roasts adam on the daily. adam will very dryly retort back every time. they were made for each other im telling u.

june will sometimes bring up his whole humans are weak thing at the most ridiculous times. like, adam tries to get her to get out of bed in the morning and she’ll groan and start lamenting how weak and fragile she is, she couldn’t possibly get out of bed in this state, adam, i have glass bones and paper skin, don’t u love me ????

adam’s teasing is just dryly taking the piss out of dumb shit she says. she’ll talk abt a fight she had with someone and say she went “wa-pow!” when she hit them and he’ll just deadpan repeat, “wa-pow.” his face totally straight. i wuv themm

who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

i mean neither they both have bad fashion taste. but also june hates the fucking cargo pants bruh

who crushed first?

adam did shdkshdk even if he didn’t realise. june didn’t figure out she liked him until the time between book 1 and book 2, because she missed him and she couldn’t figure out why

any alcohol or substance related problems?

uhhh no not rly. june has a history of using recreational drugs but that was in college and she doesn’t touch most of that shit these days

who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

june probably shdjshdk she’ll have a girl’s night with farah, morgan, and tina, and just come home absolutely fucking twatted. adam always tucks her in

who swears the most?

yeah june. she swears in every other word. the first time she made adam curse is burned into her brain seriously she takes such pride in it

#bruh this meme is so fucking long i gotta go lie down ashsjdghjsjdk #as always im sorry if i forgot someone !!!! i do that a lot #pls do it anyway and say i tagged u #tag games #ch: june lovelace

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asherjhemmings · 4 years

Text

( MATTHEW DADDARIO + CISMALE ) — Have you seen ASHER HEMMINGS ? This TWENTY-EIGHT year old is a MUSIC PRODUCER who resides in BROOKLYN. HE has been living in NYC for TEN YEARS, and is known to be OUTGOING and ALLURING, but can also be ARROGANT and SELF SERVING, if you cross them. People tend to associate them with SCATTERED SHEET MUSIC ON A MARBLE FLOOR and GOLDEN BAR CARTS LITTERED WITH EXPENSIVE LIQUOR. — ( haley, 21, she/her, triggers: eating disorders & self harm, est )

hello all !! i’m haley and i’ve been roleplaying since i was like eleven but i just came back to tumblr rp a year ago and that just so happened to be with my baby asher, so happy anniversary to him being a muse <3

i’ve boiled his bio down into some bullet points because it used to be so fuckin long and i’m sure nobody read it so here it is condensed into just the basics

basics:

name: asher julien hemmings

nicknames: ash, aj

age: 28

hometown: cambridge, ma

currently living: brooklyn, ny

education: high school diploma, degree in music production from nyu

birthday: april 13th

zodiac: aries

sexual orientation: bisexual

tattoos: ** doesn’t have a neck tattoo like alec in shadow hunters lol but he has mad tattoos, two full sleeves

aesthetic: pinterest

before nyc (tw: alcoholism, abuse, prison)

asher was what some holier than would call a miracle or what other would more harshly call an accidental pregnancy.

his father owned a low-life club in the city, known for mistreating employees and sneaky business behind the scene. some speculated that the operation of the club was to simple launder drug money, however that is a far different story.

his mother began working at the club around her twenty-seventh birthday and took on a position as an exotic dancer. she never quite had a set career path, often working odd jobs until it lead her to the intimidating world of stripping.

asher’s father took a liking to her, in the same way he took a liking to most females that got hired at the establishment whether it be a guest or an employee. however, unlike the other, he got her pregnant.

their relationship was toxic from the beginning. seeing as the relationship was forced for the sake of their child, they didn’t get along great. cops were constantly called to their apartment during 2am screaming matches, a lot of nights spent with one of them on the couch. but it wasn’t bad enough for one of them to leave, but it wasn’t good enough for one of them to say i love you.

asher was born on a rainy day in the spring and came into the world with a smile on his face. the nurses even joked he looked like a young frank sinatra with the way he slyly smirked.

but the smile didn’t always stay on his face. as he grew up, he saw the repercussions of staying with someone out of convenience rather than love. while his mother fell in love with him and hand crafted her maternal instincts to excellency, his father developed a love for whisky and coming home late from work.

despite what they once thought, a child didn’t fix things. in his father’s worsening condition, he began to get violent. it started off aggressively verbal until it matured into a far more physical act. at first it was just asher’s mother taking the brunt of the abuse. but as asher began to get older, it wasn’t uncommon for him to a victim on the lashing too.

it wasn’t until child protective services got involved after asher in seventh grade came to school with bruises that anyone was even aware of what he was enduring. asher’s father was sentenced to twenty-five years in prison for domestic abuse & parental negligence.

the abuse had made asher timid moreso than it made him aggressive. so when he and his mother moved in with his grandparents, he was hesitant around his grandfather at first. his grandfather tried to form a relationship with him doing everything from playing board games to watching television or going mini-golfing. nothing seemed to be able to break through asher’s timid exterior.

this was until one day his grandfather caught him plucking at the keys on their grand piano and offered to teach a young asher how to play. music was the first thing they truly bonded over and within a year, asher was playing better than most people can in a lifetime.

once moving in with his grandparents, his mother wasn’t around much. she was always with her latest boyfriend or with her friends. asher didn’t mind though, he enjoyed cooking with his grandmother or strumming a guitar with his grandfather.

in high school, asher became a punk. he strived in all social groups due to his charisma. he excelled with the music kids, got in with the burnouts, even was cool enough to hang around with the popular kids. teachers loved him despite not being the best student. it was impossible to hate him.

his music teacher wrote him his letter of recommendation to study at nyu. he never saw himself going to college but he was excited to reinvent himself.

in nyc (tw: alcoholism)

during his years at nyu, asher began to reinvent himself. he was no long timid or the least bit shy. he was suave and slick, getting along with almost everyone he came into contact with.

unfortunately when some many people love you, after a while, it begins to get to your head. it was no surprise to people when asher began to get arrogant and cocky about his musical abilities. but one thing he had to fake confidence with was who he was as a person.

asher didn’t like himself, hence why new york was such a turning point for him. deep down, he believed he didn’t deserve love or his success. but when he started getting praise for his music producing abilites all of that changed.

classmates were intimidated by him and professors were undoubtedly impressed with the way in which he could perfect a beat or make a hit simply experimenting. asher liked the attention, lived for the applause he’d get at the end of a presentation. the love others had for him inflated his ego but also drove him to success.

after graduating at twenty-two, asher moved to an apartment in brooklyn and immediately began interning at a record label. he didn’t necessarily like what he was doing, truly believing that he was too good to be there most days.

but even as an intern he excelled and at the age of twenty-five, he bought his own music production company that houses over twenty studio spaces for artists to record.

in three years, not much has changed. except his bank account has quadrupled, he’s moved from a shoebox to a villa.. oh, and he’s developed a bit of a drinking problem.

drinking started off a social thing for asher. a few beers at a college party here and there seemed to be the beginning of it. then it was shots, and then getting black out at parties and not remembering much of anything. being surrounded by famous artists in his career only made this habit worse. he was drinking to wake up in the morning, in the studio, before bed and repeat.

nobody knows much about his blossoming alcoholism but it’s quickly beginning to fester and consume him. but he’s pretty good at hiding behind the tortured artist facade.

personality:

asher is the epitome of smiling and rolling your eyes in the same instance. he’s charming and goofy in the same line and doesn’t miss a beat.

super flirty. will flirt w u. and ur friend. and ur friend’s significant other. that’s just how he is.

loves verbal sparring, the certified king of it

why is he always smoking a cigarette? nobody knows

can be an asshole, will most likely get you to yell at him and then laugh and tell you that you’re the one being ridiculous

Indecisive af

a ride or die for his friends, literally would kill for a buddy

wanted connections:

ex girlfriend or boyfriend: asher’s been in nyc for ten years so he’s definitely tried to get serious ab someone by now. their relationship was for sure super toxic. let’s plot.

college roommate: someone who went to nyu and has watched asher’s success absolutely blow up. someone who pulled him drunk out of parties and threw him their dorm’s cold shower. give me disappointed friends vibes or a strained relationship !! anything !!

half-brother: as far as asher knows, he’s an only child. his father was an alcoholic who often had affairs with the girls who worked at his clubs in boston or were in the city on business. it is no surprise that something came from his late night rendezvous. asher’s not the warmest person, especially when it comes to his negligent father. will anything come of the brothers sharing the city streets? or will they simply turn a cold shoulder to one another?

assistant: asher is a famous music producer with his own recording studio in manhattan. he and his personal assistant spend a lot of time together. this connection is pretty open ended so asher could be their mentor if they’re musically inclined but they could also be confidants, best friends, frenemies, potential love interest, fwb, up to you!!

ride or die: this man needs to have some friends who put him in his place plz, he’s a whole ass disaster

music friends: self explanatory

fwb/ex-flings: this man is so flirty if he hasn’t messed around w u he’s messed around w someone u know. give me angst. give me missed connections. give me unrequited. give me friendzone. give me anything.

#about #codintro

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wheelthefridge · 5 years

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in honor of last night having been my last ever shift dishwashing at the same restaurant i’ve been at for the past four years here’s an absurdly long list of random chaotic moments that literally no one asked for that i’ve been compiling since day one:

bj, with a half full gallon of orange juice: this expired two months ago. *pours down drain* that was a long time ago

sam: YOU! I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!! *carries on normally with no explanation* bj: smack that! that too! smack those vegetables! punch that burger in the nose! chop that bun! bob: no, flick the bun. you have to flick it.

*bad and boujee playing* bj: walks into kitchen, singing bj: you better know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run bj: walks out of kitchen, still singing

me: hey can you put the wet floor sign out for me dylan: sure dylan: *slips while putting the sign out* me:

sam: get this- i haven’t smoked pot in like three days and my brain is ready to roll! yeah!

joe: ha! oldest trick in the book i just started writing

dude @bar: ten percent of people are over 6'1" other dude: what about 6'2" dude 1: what? no. ten percent of people are OVER 6'1" - so that includes 6'2" dude 2: idk I know a lot of tall guys. taller than me dude 1: what? i’m saying- just- ten percent of everyone in the whole world- you know how many people there are in the world? 7 billion– dude 2: i thought it was six billion dude 1: no, 7 billion- ten percent of 7 billion—

joe, digging through the trash: i’m just gonna peruse through here,, aaaaannnd….. nope not here me: what’re u looking for Joe: …..a book

didi: is eating a pistachio katherine: is that sour cream

sam: some dirty whorebag wants two pickles

joe: sam she am. that’s right. dr seuss wrote a book about her

katherine: oh my goddd this song is always on i’m so tired of it joe: is it? i don’t think i’ve heard it before carolyn: eh it’s all just one long brazilian song to me

katherine: look at my straw i put it in the pencil sharpener

sam: i’m on crack cocaine. you heard it here

sam, aggressively putting silverware in the tray: just the way the cookie crumbles me: yeah? sam, fake crying: yes

adele: if you’re ready- sam: what if I’m not bob: too bad. she only cares if she’s ready

something: *breaks* sam: time for the mop. and by mop i mean… this thing *holds up dustpan*

mike: you should go on junior master chef…. and only make fries

sam, quietly as she speedwalks by me: panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic

sam, beginning of the night: my goal is to make at least forty bucks tonight. hopefully sixty sam, later that night: i’ve made five dollars

sam, pouring a drink into the trash right next to the sink: you know, im not sure why i poured that in the trash. i’ve had a very off day

katherine, after accidentally spraying salsa on herself: i just sprayed salsa all over myself bj: i feel like that too sometimes. i love salsa so much

sam: can you imagine if i did like hardcore drugs how messed up i would be- i’m messed up soberly

someone: what’re you supposed to feed twenty kids kerry: pizza bj: vodka

sam: will you let bob know there’s gonna be seven in the snug bj: seven in the snug? that’s my band name. we’re really good

edson: *spins cover on counter and stares at it for solid thirty seconds before putting his finger down to stop it* edson: good.

sam: what should i draw bj: you should draw casey, hanging from a cliff, with a pterodactyl flying towards them who is on fire, but, seems optimistic about it

bj: life is too short for low fat cheese. remember that.

sam, beginning of night, in a really good mood: guess what i’m drunk and high right now sam, later that night: i was just pouring a beer and i dropped it. like my hand just let go of it sam, end of night: i’m never doing this again

joe: you know who didn’t clock out yet?? i have two thumbs! joe: ……wait joe: you know who has two thumbs and hasn’t clocked out yet?? this guy!! me: there ya go buddy

bob: i’ve slept fifteen hours in the past four days me: that’s not good bob: yeah

edson: look edson: *holds out hand with top spinning in his palm* *giggles*

sam: i cannot wait for this day to be over me: it’s barely started sam: i took a shot before i got here. i have more in my car

bob: hi sam sam: hi bob didi: hi sam sam: fuck off

joe: her? oh yeah her name is sarah whitaker katherine: oh i think i know her joe: that’s funny because i just made that up. i’m willing to bet money that she’s nineteen tho me: why joe: bc i overheard her say that she’s nineteen

joe: i’m gonna send you a video but you can’t watch it now it’s needs full attention with headphones and the lights off

bj: if you lose your hand, don’t replace it with a fork. that would be a bad choice. i know it’s probably the cheapest option, right up there with stick, but just spend the money.

bj, on a different day: i think if you were to get your hands cut off, getting them replaced with plates would be a very bad idea. you can dig. and you can toss. but that’s about it. no playing the saxophone.

colby: *doesn’t show up to work* bj: maybe i should leave him a message of just me crying

katherine: i think an old man just asked me to live with him

sam: wait *pulls celery strings out of her mouth* that just came out of my throat

bob: i’m such a grump tonight. i’m in a good mood i’m just so grumpy. bob: maybe i’m not in a good mood…

bj, after sending christa downstairs to get liquor for the bar: i put a live cobra down there too so… if she comes back with it dead in her hands…. she’s a champ. and that’s that.

bj: i had a dog today did you have a dog? me: no bj: oh. well.

dylan, holding phone camera at joe: hey joe can you pull ur shirt down joe, pulling the collar of his shirt halfway down his chest: yeah like this? dylan, taking picture: yeah thanks

bj: HI-YAH carley: you’re a ninja!! bj: yes. don’t be alarmed. i only use my powers for good.

bj, with one bottle in each hand, pouring water in the sink, mimicking cow milking motions: it’s like a cow. mooooooeeeeeeuuuuuhhhhhhgggg aaaaaauuuuuueuejhshhsii. that’s what cows sound like right?

bj: we have a dog, and we’re getting chickens. i’m not really sure why were getting chickens. do i consider myself a farmer? not really.

bj: we should make a youtube channel of just me saying really random things to you and you not responding to me whatsoever me: mhmm

nancy: I’m sleeping

sam: *pours drink out on counter next to sink* sam: wHAT the FuCK was that!? why did i do that?? i’ve lost it! i’ve hit rock bottom!!

sam: *bends over* ughhhhhhhhhhhhh *straightens up* ok i’m fine

bj: yum! that’s how i rate the soup. two yums up!! *laughs for like a full minute*

sam: i got my motorcycle license over the weekend and now all everyone’s saying to me is “no don’t get a motorcycle they’re so dangerous” like shut the fuck up if i die i die it’s my choice

bj: i think if i were to be turned into some kind of commercial type of food, if i got turned into a nugget, i think i’d be indignant. i’ve lived my whole life and now i’m a nugget??? “oh i was a great roasted-“ i was a nugget. i was eaten with fries out of a box with a small soda.

bj: hello everybody. i have arrived. please remain calm. bob: *screams*

radio: the fastest lawn mower in the world goes up to 150 miles per hour! bob: …….why??

sam: i just meowed in scotty’s face and he was completely unfazed by it. like a full on Meow.

bob: lemme just touch these live wires with my wet hands bj: bob has gone offline

katherine: i totally forgot to put their order in for i don’t even know how long me: ……..i’m sure it’ll be fine katherine: i mean, nothing matters, right? right. nothing matters.

bj: hey did you guys hear that kate: yeah what was that bj: oh i was just yelling……….. about the soup kate: me: katherine: bj: i’ll try to keep it down next time

bob: you sleep a lot when you’re old. it’s just practice for death. getting ready for The Big Sleep. let’s see how do i wanna go out? on my back?? nah not for me. on my front babey!

didi: hi sam sam: SHUT UP didi, quieter: okay…… sam: i love you didi: no bj: so you’re a grownup now. that’s means you have to do grown up things, like, pay for dinner and stuff? me: uh huh bj: it’s all downhill from here

bj: pon pon the van poco. right? me: mhmm bj: probably. i mean. i’m no doctor, but

random woman @ bar: we are the matrix. We. Are. The Matrix.

bj, to the tune of frosty the snowman: clunkity clunk clunk clunkity clunk clunk look at all this stuff. clunkity clunk clunk clunkity clunk clunk making casey’s job tough! pretty good right?? i just made it up

bj: *walks into kitchen* YES! that’s all i have to say. that’s it. BOBS killing it. DIDIS killing it. casey MURDERED it. you’re welcome. *walks out of kitchen* bj: today is the second day in a row my dog has eaten my lunch. yesterday and then today. it’s my own fault really bob: well you know what they say about men who like floppy french fries. *doesn’t elaborate*

sam: there’s a toy baby in my section. like just a toy baby taking up a seat in my section. what do i do like do i move the bitch? do i leave her there??

bob, talking to himself: if you get sick tomorrow, just remember. it’s your own fault for eating food off the floor.

bob, to katherine: no, you don’t have to mop the carpet

bj: cheeeesy.

laura: if i get through tonight without a heart attack it’ll be incredible. if i do have a heart attack tho just let me go

caldo: *unintelligible yelling* SELLING my BODY for SEX *more unintelligible yelling*

bob: my fathers brother sent all his kids to australia. i guess he figured at least one of them would make it

caldo: i don’t trust people who go out to eat tuna fish

bob: can you make some more guacamole soon we’re running low laura: pulls five (5) avocados from her pockets

bob: he looks like jesus. well. he looks like what white people think jesus looked like

sam: yeah. Please. eat some more mother Fucking crackers.

bj: i feel like i gave birth to the eggplant stacks tonight. and honestly? if my child looked like that? i’d be proud. proud to have an eggplant child

bj: alright everybody let’s get the fuf out of here!! i said fuf not f- it’s safe. f u f starts and ends with soft letters no one gets hurt. any word that starts with a soft letter and ends with a hard letter is bad news… i feel like every time i come in here i annoy you guys. casey’s one dumbass comment away from killing me. “hey so what are your thoughts on grass?” “that’s it” *mimics shooting a gun*

ilia: -and the dogs gonna get diabetes- katherine, indignantly: i cleaned it really well!

mickey: i’ll tell you one thing. crack is good.

sam: some lady just rolled up to the bar, no bra, nipples beamin through the shirt- LETS GET IT!!!!

caldo: *speed walks into kitchen and shotguns a beer over the trash* ok i’m back. i should not have smoked this morning

dom: little kid just picked up a knife and went “oh cool i can stab someone” me, katherine, and sam in unison: good dom: yeah the dad took it away

sam: my friend was like “why is your go to dance move just to snap” and i was like “i don’t know, i’m white” *shrugs*

bj: someone just asked me if i’m having fun. am i having fun? i don’t know if i’m having fun. there are certainly other things i’d rather be doing right now, but i don’t know if i can definitively say that i’m Not having fun.

bj: some jobs require Only a ladle bj, thirty seconds later, after walking away and coming back: sometimes, also a funnel

bj, @ laura who’s eating cornbread: you cornbread eating chef!!! laura: bj: laura: bj: i’m just saying facts in a weird way. you know like you’re in trouble.

sam: *war cry* *spits out gum* *walks away*

bj: what kind of smoothie? Soup Smoothie!!

katherine: so this woman ordered some hot water so i gave it to her and her husband says you know what that’s for right and i’m like ….to drink? and he says nope! and doesn’t explain so i’m just like ………..okay! and walk away bc i don’t even want to know

bj: there’s no shame in it! A Grown Man Can Bathe In Yogurt!!!

bj, leaning down very close to to-go box: i love you

bob: anyone want a drink? brian: whatever’s your strongest bob: milk it is

guy at bar: sUE HIM?!?!??? oh i’d sue him yeah

sam: who orders something extra cold?? like, you need to Die now thanks.

sam: do you dare me to drink this buffalo sauce me: yes laura, walking by: snort it

sam: one more day. just one more day laura: of what sam: waking up

bob: *is trying to explain easter to jewish laura* laura: wait so he died… then he came back to life?? then he died Again??? bob: he died. then he came back just to tell people he was alive. then he said SEE YA and ascended to heaven

sam: i HATE margaritas. i don’t know why i just made myself one.

bob: wow. i have this overpowering urge to just go home.

bj, putting back a slotted spoon: this is a bad choice for dressing. a bad choice.

me: *catches a plate about to fall* bj: woah! smooth moves!! spider-man? maybe.

danny: so you know how at my other job everyone calls me daddy?

sam: *dumps out two full wine glasses* i fucked up. tell no one.

me: remember when we used to be able to leave early? bob: no. i think we imagined it.

danny: i didn’t realize we served DICK here -a few min later- danny: sorry i just got out of work and i’m all fired up

sam: my moms drunk and she won’t go home

bob: hey wasn’t that slang for mari- bj: cocaine.

bj: *kicks kitchen door open* YEE-HAW!!!!

danny: sorry casey me: what for danny: for having to deal with me me: yeah *shrugs* danny: they should pay you more me: yeah

didi: i kill you ilia: do it now didi: no ilia: do it i wanna die

danny, about a burger: we’ve got ourselves a squirter!!

sam: is that a chicken patty sydney: it’s my dog

sam, on my last night with her: lets get casey TRASHED tonight

sam: are you gonna go dancing in new york didi: yes laura: whore it up

#this is insanely long #feel free to scroll past but you might get a chuckle #mickeys is not a restaurant it’s a den of chaotic energy #also if ur curious bj is a bartender and basically a manager #bob is the head cook and kitchen manager #sam is a waitress and bartender (and lesbian)#didi (pronounced gigi) is the buffest man i know and also gay and brazilian #oh and he’s a cook lmao #i got too caught up in describing his buff and gayness i forgot to mention his role in the restaurant #and katherine’s my sister #i think that covers all the main people #my post #feel free to rb but i doubt anyone would want to????#things heard at mickeys

2 notes · View notes

bruciewayne · 6 years

Text

umarry mwe, noyt (marry me, tony)

ao3 (heavily reccomended if ur on mobile)

other works

the married version of -"i wasnt that drunk last night" -"you asked tony if he was single and cried when he said that he wasnt"

ft. steve rogers drunk off magic whiskey and momentarily forgot he was married to his husband

bird brain #1 tin can, we got ur boy DRUNK af on magic whiskey from thor. u aint gonna wanna miss it……...

Tony had been not so subtly checking his phone during the meeting, so when he’d gotten the text from Clint, he immediately jumped out of his chair and headed straight for the door in the middle of whatever the guy (he was pretty sure that he was an important guy or something), yelling something about a family emergency over his shoulder. He had faith that Pepper could handle whatever the Secretary of State (that’s who he was) was on about.

He, in the meantime, had a husband who was drunk for the first time in over seventy years. And not just drunk, completely and utterly fucking plastered, according to Clint, but he didn’t tell him anything more, the rest of his texts vague, blurry one second videos of someone yelling, well, slurring really, his name.

“Steven! I have a gift for you,” Thor wasted no time at all with greetings or any other menial things of that caliber when he strode into the kitchen, holding up a metal flask with intricate etchings swirling up the sides and small tendrils of blue steam leaking out from the seam between the lid and the body of the flask.

He pressed it into Steve’s hands after pulling him in for a rough bear hug. Steve looked confused to say the least, and a little worried, “Did I forget a special day or-”

“No no, don’t worry, I remembered that you mentioned you missed getting drunk and brought this back for you. It gets you as drunk as you want to be,” Thor explained as Steve widened in wonder in excitement. He pulled him down for a quick hug, squeezing tightly.

“I’m gonna get fucking bent,” he declared, unscrewing the top and downing the entire thing, ears deaf to Thor’s warnings to take it easy, memories of him and Bucky sneaking a half empty bottle of rum up on to the roof of their apartment at 15, the sweet, smooth liquor sliding down his throat.

It tasted familiar and homely, a strange mix of cold nights in his apartment in the ‘30s and the warmth and the camaraderie of the fire from the campsites during the war and exhausted nights and slow mornings with Tony, all condensed into a sweet, sweet flavour that he’d definitely never had before, but it made him want to find Tony and hug him and hold him.

He loved him so, so, so, so much. He was great. No. Greater. Than everything, all the things. Even Lucky Charms. The best.

He should marry him someday. It’s legal now.

Somehow, sometime, Thor had moved him into the living room and onto the couch. The rest of the team, sans Tony, so really just a bunch of people with powers, were surrounding him. “How do you feel Steve?” Bruce asked, slightly concerned. It wasn't that he didn't trust his boyfriend’s planet’s culture’s magic whiskey, he just-- no. He lied. He didn't trust magic whiskey of any kind. Not after that night with Strange.

Steve squinted up at him for a good five seconds and then pitched into a monologue.

“‘m g’d Dr. Mr. Squish’Sci’n. S’what T’ny calls th’ bi-ol-o-gee. He’s’a funny guy. An’ an’ an’ he’s great. D’y think he’s great, Dr. Mr. Bi?” Steve barely paused a second before rambling on, “C’se I do. ‘n tha’s the truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuth,” he lolled his head back on the couch when he dragged out the ‘u’, staying quiet for barely a second again before giggling to himself, shoulders shaking and tears gathering into the corners of his eyes.

“Guys!” He said, straightening up again with the urgency as if he had the cure for cancer. “Toe-knee,” he delivered, eyes wide and began giggling again. And then stopped when everyone else was silent, staring back at him. “Guys,” he whined, slumping, “Toe-knee,” he said again, with more emphasis, rolling his eyes when no-one got it.

He blinked up at them for a few more seconds and then flopped over on his side so he was lying in the fetal position on the couch, hugging a pillow, half his face buried in it. “You ok buddy?” Clint asked, slipping his phone into his pocket. Steve made a whiny, sort of distressed noise into the pillow.

“No,” he said, almost-- definitely petulantly, “I miss Tony,” he mumbled morosely, eyes big and sad and lined with tears, “I love him so, so, so, so, so much, an’ his super super smart an’ funny an’ really f’ckin’ hot an’ his ass is the best an’ I love him an’ I miss him an-”

“What horrible things has your magic whiskey done to our capsicle?” Tony (Tony!!!!) said, walking into the living room to see everyone surrounding the couch.

“TONY!!” An adorably messy head of hair shooting up into view, yelling his name in a ridiculously happy way that made a warmth spread across his chest (he was fairly sure that it wasn’t the arc reactor) because yes they’d been married a year (a whole fucking year) and a couple weeks and they’d been dating for four years on top of that, but he would bet Dum-e that they’d both be old and grayer and the most stereotypical old married couple ever and the warmth in his chest and teenager-giddiness he felt whenever Steve seemed excited or happy just to see him, would never fade.

Tony walked over to the back of the couch, running a hand through his hair, kissing his forehead when he made a very content noise in the back of his throat, which was definitely a purr - Steve Rogers was a cat disguised as a Super-Soldier, he’d been saying it for years.

“You almost gave me a heart attack there, buddy,” he teased, hand still in Steve’s hair, playing with it with the tips of his fingers. His words had an immediate effect on Steve, ‘Guilty-Mother-Hen’ mode fully engaged, “‘m s’ry T’ny, I n’vr’ wan’ hurt’y’. I l’ve y’t’much. D’y need’a bandaid?” Jesus, whatever Thor had given him was good.

“I’m fine, honey,” he reassured him. Steve squinted up at him for a few seconds and then seemingly decided that he wasn’t actively dying or in need of dire assistance, because he nodded, affirmatively, and then launched into a speil of how much he loved Tony, for the second time, he deduced from everyone’s eyerolls.

Tony knew all of it already, Steve had told him (sober) at their wedding, when he proposed, whispered during thousands of mornings and nights spent together, too many times in hospitals straight out of the ICU, but hearing it, from such a carefree, innocent manner, in a way he hadn’t seen on Steve in, well, ever was something new entirely that made his heart do funny things for many different reasons he didn't have any time to unpack right now.

Because Steve was pawing clumsily at his chest, fumbling with his shirt buttons, batting his tie out of the way. “-an’, an’ he’s’m’ li’-ni. Ni’li’t.” he frowned, adorably, sticking his tongue out and carefully saying ‘night light’, hands still pawing at Tony's chest.

“He keep’s’all th’ ni’mares faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar’away. C’se I don’ like th’ dark an’ he’s’m’ night-light,” he continued conversationally, looking up from Tony’s chest to his eyes, “he’s s’s’s’s’s’s’s’s’ good t’me, an’ he’s’a good guy, an’ I l’ve him.”

Tony swallowed past a lump in his throat, which was ridiculous because Steve was drunk off his ass and had no clue what he was saying or doing, a drunk man’s actions, sober man’s thoughts, floating to the front of his mind, and kissed Steve’s forehead again. “You’re good to me too, sweetheart,” he murmured against the crown of his head. Steve was positively beaming when he pulled away. He could power the fucking sun with that smile.

He gasped excitedly, back straightening up and pawing at Tony’s hands until he held them, “T’ny, T’ny, T’ny. Can’y’ marry me? I think we’d be good t’g’ther an’ I pr’mise t’be the bestest husband for you!”

Tony chuckled, along with the rest of the team, who were all recording them. “Steve,” he said gently, considering his next words, he couldn’t pass this up and his husband had forgotten that they were married, after all.

“Honey, I’m already married,” he said, a small smile playing on his lips as he held up his left hand, showing him a simple gold ring.

“Oh.”

Steve dropped like a puppet with it’s strings cut, hand sliding out Tony’s, drooping over the back of the couch, like a dejected golden retriever, eyes welling up with tears.

He looked heartbroken.

Tony was practically a criminal now. But before he could reassure him (and/or turn himself in to the NYPD), Steve looked up at him, tears slipping down his face, “‘m s’ry T’ny. I hope- I hope that whoev- whoe’ver y’ married to is th’ best. C’se y’ deserve the best, T’ny, c’se, c’se y’ greater.”

“Steve, honey,” Tony said, thickly, dropping to his knees and reaching up to brush away his tears, “I have the best, baby, I’m married to you,” he picked up Steve’s left hand and pressed a kiss to his ring, and then gently tugging it off, showing him the inscription on the inside, I’m not half as good at anything as I am when I’m doing it next to you. He slipped it back on his finger when Steve had finished reading it and was staring at Tony in nothing short of wonderment, and wound his fingers through his.

Tony leaned forwards and kissed Steve on the lips, slow and gentle, trying to pour every bit of emotion he felt towards him into the kiss, with every swipe of his tongue he tried to convey how much he meant to him. Steve tasted of honey and apple and home.

When they finally pulled away, the sheer joy, happiness and pure love on his face was unrivalled by anything Tony had ever seen. Forget powering the sun, he was bright enough for the entire fucking universe.

“Do I make you happy?” he whispered, reverently, gazing up at Tony, hand winding clumsily, but gentle, through his hair Tony kissed the corner of his mouth “Steven Grant Rogers, you make me happier than I’ve ever been.”

“How are you not hungover?” Tony grumbled, incredulously, walking into the kitchen and wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist from behind, hindering his breakfast-cooking, and he pressed an absent minded kiss to his back, letting his forehead fall forwards to rest in between his shoulder blades and slipping his eyes shut.

Steve flipped the last pancake, then shut off the hob and turned around to hug Tony properly, kissing his forehead as a good morning greeting. They stood hugging for a couple minutes as the rest of the team trickled in, including Sam and Bucky who were ‘out of town’ yesterday. They broke apart when Clint started throwing Cheerios at them, for being too sickly sweet and domestic too early in the day. Tony flipped him off and tugged a stack of pancakes towards him, drowning in them in syrup.

He mused silently, flicking through something on a StarkPad while digging through his pancakes. He turned to face Steve, “Wait, wait, Steve, how are you not hungover?” Steve gave him an odd look, “Tony, honey, I don’t think I was that drunk.”

Around them the rest of the Avengers hid various degrees of laughter behind food and cups of coffee, “What?” Steve asked, looking around, confused. Yeah, he couldn’t remember what had happened past pounding Thor’s magic whiskey, but that didn’t mean he was that drunk, right?

“Steve…” Natasha started, lowering her fork, “you asked Tony to marry you.”

“So what, we’re married,” Steve said, smiling at Tony. He didn’t think he’d ever get over the fact that he was married to the incredible man sitting next to him.

“Tony said that he was already married and you cried,” Natasha finished, taking a sip of her coffee.

The back of Steve’s neck heated up in embarrassment and he turned to Tony, betrayed. Tony, in return, shrugged and said, “You did forget that we were married.” When Steve just back stared at him, he kissed his cheek in apology, “You were a very sweet drunk.”

Later, when they were lying in bed, Steve flicking through a book and Tony running through a couple schematics on a StarkPad, when Steve suddenly turned to Tony, shutting his book and putting it on his nightstand, “You have a video of me when I was drunk right?”

Tony looked up at him, “Yeah, JARVIS had it saved to my Steve folder.”

“Can I watch it?”

…

“You know,” Steve began, when the video shut of, curling an arm around Tony’s shoulders and kissing his cheek, “all’a that’s true, you’re my best guy.” Tony blushed, a dark flush spreading over his cheeks, “You fucking meatball,” he mumbled, hiding his face in Steve’s shirt. They’d been together for half a decade he shouldn’t still be blushing over lines from the fucking forties.

“Yeah,” Steve conceded, pulling Tony closer, “but you married me.”

“Yeah,” Tony said, softer than than he intended, “I did,” he pulled back a little to kiss Steve, unhurried and gentle, warm, soft lips sliding against each other, the slightest hint of tongue slipping in.

“I love you, even if you did forget that we were married,” Tony said, against Steve’s lips when they pulled away, breathing a little hard. “Won’t happen again,” Steve murmured, far too distracted by Tony’s reddening lips, kissing him in between words, “promise.”

The next time Steve got drunk, a few months later, on his birthday, Tony wrote ‘PROPERTY OF STARK INDUSTRIES’ on his forehead, to make sure he stayed true to his promise.

Steve was grinning uncontrollably for the entire night after he saw his reflection.

#steve rogers #tony stark #stevetony #stony #stony fic rec #fan fic #fluff #stevetony fluff #stony fluff #marvel fanfic

34 notes · View notes

echy-hexi · 5 years

Text

Me:You let a pyro have a match... What did you think she was going to do? Just light her cigarette?

My dad, almost having his eyebrows singed off:Yes

Me:...I'm disappointed

My dad:As you should be.

///

King:hey I gots a question

Me:Nani?

King:What happens when a girl takes a penis enlargement pill?

Me:...I- what?

///

Me:You're too sober Faith, go get a beer.

///

JJ:Bruh why the fuck are the staff at this funeral home crying?

Celo:Because they work at a fucking funeral home

King:But they should be used to it

Me:No mom

JJ:Yea but you'd think they'd be desensitized to it.

Me:they're paid to cry

Celo:People have emotions unlike you. Not everyone is an emotionless piece of shit.

King:Sympathy

JJ:I'm not an emotionless piece of shit, you're confusing me with Faith

Me:lmao

///

JJ:It looks like Satan's cock

Me:Wtf

Celo:It does

Me:How would you kn-... Nvm

King:Satan, did you just send a dick pic? [Context:They all call me "Satan"]

Me:No wtf

JJ:Trap

King:Don't lie

Fai:oh

Me:I'm literally bleeding from my twat and you assume I just sent a dick pic

King:TF is a twat?

Celo:Pussy

King:o

Me:I regret life decisions

///

JJ:Lei are these still your notes for us?

"My brother said he is a explosive potato"

"Oofity scoop"

"I mad I wasted 4 years at LCA"

"ok listen here failed abortion im tired of trying to be nice so fuck off you ugly lonely ugly cunt and good night"

"Drink coffee it doesn't stunt ur growth although u don't have growth"

"lmao I got kicked out of 2 friend groups bc i said tiddies in Japanese"

"This is why you're not allowed to have a kid"

///

JJ:Isen wants to speak to your manager lmfao

///

Me:We're great friends here at Chaotic Evil™ the Group Chat HQ

JJ:Move I'm gay

Fai:Oh great

Me:We know

///

Masky:I don't know JJ I just want to kill someone so I can eat *vibrates eyes*

Me:o h l o r d

Me:gEt ThE hOlY wAtEr MoThErFuCkErS

Masky:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Masky:NOT THAT!

JJ:*sprays with holy water*

Me:XD

Masky:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

JJ:*spritz spritz bitch*

///

JJ:Everytime somebody says some dumbass shit I have a split decision between saying: "fuckin pardon?" or "come again *****??"

Fai:Why not both

Fai:Mix them together

JJ:Pardon again *****? Fuckin come again??

///

JJ:Anyway I'll be sleeping w multiple soft n fluffy pillows like the trashy hoe i am and y'all will just have to deal, g'night

///

Me:My sister wants to send a bird and some grass to China

///

Fai:i'll just stab him in the dick. No more kids for you buddy

///

Me:Reasons I don't need to discuss you butt taco

///

Jeffo:That goddamn bever exposed my twitter

///

JJ:Don't fuck rachel gardner tf y'all are both underage

///

Celo:Concern is futile

///

Su:You're literally talking to someone who read Danny x Rachel fanfiction at 5 in the morning

///

King:How y'all doing

Fai:Dying

///

Me:*recites the entire script of "history of the entire world, i guess" in chat*

///

JJ:YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT ANYBODY BEING A BOTTOM CELO

JJ:I PUSHED YOU AND YOU LITERALLY FUCKING MOANED

Su:w o a h t h e r e

///

Me:"My parents are going to beat me" kinky

///

Me:Last year:King being accused of raping JJ

///

Me:ur mum gae

///

Me:SHE WAS LOOKING AT LEVI'S DICK-

Su:And I oop-

Fai:Stop. Halt. Halt. Stop.

///

Me:EVERYONE IS GAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Fai:No lei

King:Nope

Me:GO BACK TO YOUR CLOSET

///

Me:lets rape africa

Fai:lets not???

Me:they scrambled to see who could rape africa the fastest

///

Me:let's blame the maine on spain

///

JJ:Cactus dildo

///

Me:the holes just appear over night and magically get white stuff in them-

Fai:Alright

Su:I-

///

Me:FBI OPEN UP MOTHERFUCKERS

///

Me:michigan's a 4-year-old basic moody bitch wearing crocs and socks drinking some fucking starbucks and breaking down in the corner of america while everyone else gets high and drunk af and ignores him to cry. except ohio

ohio is michigan's not alone buddy

///

Me:kim kardashian is a boy?

///

Me:levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith

Fai:halt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halt

///

Me:all i heard was big. what-

Fai:don't worry bout it

///

JJ:You ask your broke ass friends if they have money

///

Me:my sister has a girlfriend apparently-

Fai:Her hand

Me:no

King:Jeffo

Fai:ye

Me:This chick she met in a game

JJ:When's the wedding

Me:Lmao

///

"You can't legally stab children"

"Not on purpose anyways"

///

Me:TIL my dad's boss lives near Jeffo and my sister's into punky skaters

JJ:TODAY I LEARNED THAT CELO'S MOM KNOWS MY MOM WHAT THE FUCK

Me:so kids what lesson did we learn

Fai/JJ:Nothing

JJ:Jynx

Fai:This is horrible

///

Celo:unholy tutu screeching intensifies

///

Me:im seriously crying by saying "im a weiner dog"

Me:i am the weiner dog

Me:the holy weiner dog

Su:w h e e z e

Me:im the all-mighty weiner dog

Celo:I can't breathe

Su:c r y i n g

Celo:And I'm ashamed

Me:im crying-

Me:im not

Me:im probably contact-high

///

Su:The question is not are you choking, its what are you choking on?

///

JJ:"Go jerk off to your fictional waifus, you horny fucking weeb"

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JJ:I speak English not oui oui baguette motherfucker

///

King:i just had a flashback of when Destiny Powell started to have nicknames and called Nini tater tot.

King:then christoff just yelled, TATER TOT SHE'S A THOT

JJ:I don't remember Destiny saying that but i definitely remember Christoff saying that

///

Me:hi and welcome to college! you want fresh air? WELL IT CANT FUCKIN HAPPEN! BECAUSE WE'RE TOO AFRAID YOU'RE GONNA COMMIT SUICIDE! SO THIS IS ALL YA GET. A SMALL CRACK IN THE WINDOW!

///

Me:i enjoy the fact that none of us can actually bother correcting shit after sending unless someone points it out or we notice and it pisses us off.

///

Me:i read that as "my new seat in meth is great"

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JJ:stop flirting some of us are trying to spill some tea

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Celo:Squidward thicc af 😏

Me:I- Cel why-

Cel:Aren't you the bitch that likes fell

Me:fuck you dont use this to your advantedge

///

Cel:Also, how does that explain why Skyler doesn't even have a dick

///

Me, using something from Tumblr:

Cel:There's a fight going on down the block. Wanna go see?

JJ:What-

Lei:Wh- what the fuck- why?

Fai throws Jeffo and Kint down the hallway to their right yelling “FUCK YOU!"

Sounds of things smashing

Lei:I could use some air and time out of the house. Sure why not-

Est:Take me with you I've been stuck in here for *counting on fingers* 50 years-

Lei:You're only 21-

Est:It only looks like I'm 21

Lei:What the fuck-

---

JJ:Did Cal just tell me he loves me for the first time?

Lei:Yes.

JJ:And did I just do finger guns back?

Lei:Yes. Yes you did.

---

Cel:Hello-

Fai, grabbing through the bars:*Starts to choke him*

Lei: Faith! Faith! Hold on let him explain!

Fai:He’s selling us out!

Lei:Let. Him. Explain.

Cel:*Coughs* Thank you, Leila.

Cel:I’m selling you out.

Lei:*Angry screaming*

Cel:*Choking noises*

---

Cel:Why are you smiling?

Jeffi:Can’t I just smile? Maybe something good happened and I’m happy!

JJ:Faith tripped and fell in the parking lot.

King:Did she die?

JJ:No

///

Me:you force fed me pizza when i was a baby i remember the future

///

Me:all these quotes from the internet, family members, or friends. then there's "ahem You can't be bisexual if you're sansexual. You get to live with this information now, bye"

///

Some random discord shit

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holydepths-blog · 5 years

Note

✩ watergate :3

this took too fucking long

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? i feel like emma cos she’s more angry dramatic and he’s more emo dramatic but i was also gonna say he probably should to accomodate for his heightWho threatens to leave but never actually does? neither of them, they’ve both left one another repeatedly. Who actually keeps their word and leaves? both of them, see above. Who trashes the house? i don’t think either of them … i can’t see him ever doing it but if he did she would kick his ass things need to be NEAT Do either of them get physical? basement gate tease ! but no … it’s soft …. that’s been erased from my memory … they’re emo not violent How often do they argue/disagree? all the time but about #dumb shit nowadays … used to be more serious but now? you like chocolate ice cream better? … idiot Who is the first to apologise? if they had a penny for every time mickey has apologised to her both of them could quit their low salary jobs and move to france

Sex:

Who is on top? bold of u to assume they aren’t both switches Who is on the bottom? ^Who has the strangest desires? Any kinks? mind ur fucking business … snuggling is a kink Who’s dominant in bed? i don’t think dominant has ever been in either of their vocabulary where’s the john mulaney gif abt soup in the lap … regaurdless … probably he has to be she’s babyIs head ever in the equation? she suck the dick for free and mickey is a good boy, he knows how to go down on a womf If so, who is better at performing it? i don’t know how sex works is it easier to eat thrussy or suck a dick … they both try the only thing that matters is that once he said she was better at sex than [ redacted ] Ever had sex in public? private public … like not dressing room public but like, romantic lookout in a car public … hope no coppers come 2 shine their flashlight Who moans the most? idk if this is my sexism or my lesbian but women should, legally, be required to moan more than menWho leaves the most marks? he better swallow his masculinity and get used to concealer but i feel like that wld not be an issue for him, king ! he can’t borrow hers though it won’t match Who screams the loudest? WHO YELLSWho is the more experienced of the two? mickey. fucking duh. Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? they make love :3Rough or soft? soft … unlike his penis How long do they usually last? haha 8 seconds joe goldberg tease? idk how long sex even lasts in general …. solidly average is my guess Is protection used? he better wrap it before he taps it my girl cannot afford plan b . so yesDoes it ever get boring? not …. boring but ….. consistent. when emma gets too drunk she asks odette for sex advice bc she doesn’t want to bore ickey Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? nowhere is strange if ur brave enough.

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? …. yes ….If so, how many children do your muses want/have? she wants 27 children actually but literally anything from 1-30 will suffice …. they need a lot of help on his inevitable farm Who is the favorite parent? mickey is the fun parent so u already know who it is Who is the authoritative parent? REMEMBER the clip i sent u from the marky mark movie … she’s always the bad guy until he gets #fedup and he has to remind her that she’s not doing it this time AJSDKF Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? honeslty both of them unless emma hoards all the candy … selfish Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? both of them they make fucking SIGNS …. its a little league game u dont need to paint the football stripes on ur faceWho goes to parent teacher interviews? they both go but mickey is better at them because emma always goes into teacher mode and tries to talk about Who changes the diapers? mickey does he’s a NURSE he is not grossed out , she is . baby poop is rank Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? where tf is that gifset from prison break when u need it … she does but only because she hates diapers and it’s only fair to pop a tiddie out every night for ur kid in exchangeWho spends the most time with the children? ummmm FAMILY FUN NIGHT x Who packs their lunch boxes?Who gives their children ‘the talk’? mickey he is obligated as a medical professional she don’t teach sex ed …. Who cleans up after the kids? emma but only because she’s a neat freak Who worries the most? both of them try to pretend they’re VERY cool and nonchalant and this is actually very easy until one of them cracks (probably her) and they both worry together constantly . solidarity babey ! ….. moreso her tho u cannot change my mind Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? auntie odette change my mind we said FUCK watergate lives , emdette rise

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? both of them …. constntly …. disgusting Who is the little spoon? [ jake peralta vc ] everyone likes to be the little spoon, it makes them feel safe ! LOOK HERE buddy …. he is and i dont take questions , even when he was 10 ft Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? can he fucking keep his hands AWF …. thats coming from me not emma she appreciates it Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? both of them …. its CONSTANT … hand on the shoulder , touching someone’s back as u walk past …. SOFT ! n then the one gif u sent from superstore where amy slaps jonah’s ass that’s emma How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? they actually fall asleep cuddling and wake up complaining abt falling asleep in a uncomfortable position… shut up abt ur back pain ur not 80 Who gives the most kisses? KISS kisses …. he. but know … she’s always kissing him on the cheek What is their favourite non-sexual activity? this is gonna sound g*y as hell but stay with me here ………. just being in the same place , even when they’re doing diff stuff . TOGETHERNESS …. vomit time Where is their favourite place to cuddle? the couch , i retract my statement about them not being 80 they actually fall asleep watching tv Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? casually ? she … to actually initiate eye emoji ? he How often do they get time to themselves? all the time , they know 2 other people

Sleeping:

Who snores? he does im hcing this for ur own character If both do, who snores the loudest? she doesn’t SNORE she’s a lady Do they share a bed or sleep separately? they’ve been in 200 different stages of relationship ……. OTHER than depending on that , she sleeps better w him there :3If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? they start far apart cos she’s a blanket hog but she always ends up next 2 him Who talks in their sleep? she mumbles sometimes ….. its nothing coherent What do they wear to bed? she owns 47 different stupid size xxxxxxxl shirts that were 2 bucks from walmart and wears only that . i bet mickey owns a bathrobe, bourgeois pig … Are either of your muses insomniacs? idk she reads a chapter of whatever dumb shit she’s reading and has tea or wine and conks out ….. idk his business Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? idk abt taking them and ik its not the point but shes anal retentive abt keeping medicine in the medicine cabinet so THERE BETTER NOT BE Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? AS I SAID … they start out on opposite sides of the beg and end up more tangled than tangled (20whatever) Who wakes up with bed hair? his hair is floofy ,,,, Who wakes up first? i feel like that depends on his shifts …. she wakes up at the same damn time every week day …. weekends though she sleeps in for 10 yrs so him Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? emma tries and he has to leave bed anyway because the fire alarm goes off What is their favourite sleeping position? she prefers it when she has all the blankets Who hogs the sheets? she does Do they set an alarm each night? they have JOBS does she look like pippa to u Can a television be found in their bedroom? yes so she can cry over dumb rom coms over somewhere other than the couch …… he’s invested in them , change my mind Who has nightmares? i already know ur about to say he does so im calling the cops on u end of story Who has ridiculous dreams? all of emma’s dreams are indistinguishable from bad acid trips Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? she sleeps in the fetal position he seems like a sprawler …..Who makes the bed? emma …. its gotta be CLEAN and if he ever says “why make it we’re just gonna sleep there again” its on SIGHT What time is bed time? whenever she passes out , always before midnight , considering they’re 72Any routines/rituals before bed? i bet they brush their teeth at the same time to see who can do it faster like they’re five year olds …. or that gifset from new girl where he’s like “ u read my walking dead fanfic ? ”Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? emma takes three cups of coffee to be able to be her CHIPPER self ….

Work:

Who is the busiest? she has like a 6 hour work day so he for sure Who rakes in the highest income? i just googled nurses versus preschool teachers and he makes twice what she does …. laughs nervously …. glad she’s going back 2 school but elementary teachers STILL make less …. mr talbot got COIN ! Are any of your muses unemployed? no , freeloading is ILLEGAL Who takes the most sick days? i feel like the two worst jobs to go into sick are a literal hospital with immunocompromised people and a preschool with toddlers who dont wash their hands …. equal maybe Who is more likely to turn up late to work? despite her original beef with odette in the apocalypse verse emma is NEVER late to work Who sucks up to their boss? she cooks dinner , a nice LASAGNA for whoever to heat up and mickey has to break it to her that making whoever her superior is eat what tastes like glue will in fact , damage their relationship What are their jobs? hes a nursey boy …. shes a teacher Who stresses the most? about life in general? her. about work? probably him. he’s dealing with LIVES she’s got the alphabet Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? they better they aren’t getting paid enough to hate it Are your muses financially stable? they’re not rich but they’re not dying and that’s what matters

Home:

Who does the washing? emma because it relaxes her Who takes out the trash? he better , she does not like to LOOK at things once they are thrown out … its smelly Who does the ironing? neither of them have ironed anything in their lives Who does the cooking? HE HAS TO IDC if he isn’t fuckign gordon ramsay she’ll kill them Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? emma Who is messier? if he leaves a single sock on the floor he is automatically messier than her Who leaves the toilet roll empty? that’s satanic neither of them Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? he does …. its just not REALISTIC that she does Who forgets to flush the toilet? that’s gross ……hopefully neither ….. DISGOSTEING.mp4Who is the prankster around the house? anything STUPID is hers and hers alone but i feel like he’d do something relatively innocent and it would go HORRIBLY wrong like , hey emma come get y’all juice ….Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? despite being organized in every other aspect of her life emma has never kept track of keys in her life its a disease Who mows the lawn? he does , he shld do it shirtless so she can objectify him Who answers the telephone? mickey, she truly stares at it hoping it’ll go away Who does the vacuuming? emmaWho does the groceries? she would make HORRIBLE decisions ,,, he shld make the list and she shld get it Who takes the longest to shower? no sexism but she’s a girl Who spends the most time in the bathroom? see above

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? yES like … they can afford groceries , make rent , but for literally every american except jeff bezos money is a problem in some area . this isn’t a hc just a capitalist hellscape How many cars do they own? two …. neither of them are very nice cars Do they own their home or do they rent? rent unless/until he gets the farm of his dreams Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? countryside thats where FARMS are … but like rn , coast cos there’s the ocean in town Do they live in the city or in the country? see above bbgDo they enjoy their surroundings? the goats of the future and the noisy neighbors of the current and past eras both leave something to be desired , but in general yes What’s their song? not to go all modern au but remember when stereo hearts was on their 2011 mixtape AJSKDF …. issa bop and its arguably the most cutesy singable on the playlist What do they do when they’re away from each other? bitch idk ? exist as human beings ?Where did they first meet? idk she probably met him for coffee or sum before moving in together to make sure he wasn’t a serial killer How did they first meet? they were roommates … oh my god they were roommates …. she prolly put an ad in the paper very lucky she did not get murdered x Who spends the most money when out shopping? i feel like neither of them are big spenders but her sticker and colored pen budget is larger than it should be Who’s more likely to flash their assets? i thought this was talking about tits for a second but im assuming mone ? they keep it humble Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? they both do , bullying one another is a bonding experience Any mental issues? more than you know my guy Who’s terrified of bugs? if she sees a SPIDER she floors it , but she releases most other bugs …. he better kill anything w 8 legs tho Who kills the spiders around the house? mickey , as described above wow im psychic Their favourite place? they can make any place work together … gay but true , just like me Who pays the bills? she has a special binder just for taxes Do they have any fears for their future? all the fears actually Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? she cannot cook but she has 10/10 ordered takeout , put it on plates and been like :the happy version of the pensive emoji yk the one: i cooked it while the reciept is still on the counter Who uses up all of the hot water? thats very selfish she wld never but she also showers first bc she doesn’t trust him not to ….. Who’s the tallest? they , in american , are the SAME HEIGHT ,,, fuck centimeters Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?Who wanders around in their underwear? clothes are oppressive let them both do it coward Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? it probably turns into a competition until they’re both singing at the top of their lungs …. omg watergate you’re gonna burst a vocal cord oh my god they can’t hear us they have airpods in What do they tease each other about? literally everything …. one of them BREAHTES wrong and the other is like “ ah didnt realise the asthma express was in town “ Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? mickey literally dresses like the fresh prince so u already answered that for me Do they have mutual friends? can the real jack detler please stand up Who crushed first? she ……. did not immediately fall in love with him let me tell u , it took her some solid MONTHS to realise she was in deep for his bitch ass Any alcohol or substance related problems? i wld hope not , #stubie twWho is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? them , together , for getting kicked out of the bar for singing Who swears the most? neither ?

#vampiresmiled #004. emma / phillips » all posts.#006. emma / phillips » featuring mikhail.

2 notes · View notes

spntvdhunger · 6 years

Text

Lost Souls 2: Dean Winchester

Summary: Dean Winchester had been in Y/N for as long as she can remember, her dad and John were friends and frequent hunter buddies and she got used to hang out with the Winchester boys. While they grew up, Y/N slowly developed a crush for the older brother… But Dean Winchester broke her heart, not only once, but three times; the first time when she was fifteen, then when she turned twenty-one and later when she was twenty-three. That night she promised herself that not only she will keep Dean away from her heart, but she will make him feel the same pain she felt. That was the plan, but will Y/N be capable of keeping her promise or she will fall in love again?

Warnings: Implied smut, cursing… Lots of angst GIF NOT MINE CREDIT TO OWNER/CREATOR

Characters: Dean Winchester, Young!Dean, SoulessSam Winchester, Young! Sam, John Winchester, Castiel, Bobby Singer, OC! Rixon Carter, Female! Reader.

Chapters: 8-10 chapters. Chapter one

A/N: All mistakes are mine, feedback is appreciated. Please let me now if you want to be tagged! Italics are flashbacks.

Tags: @shut-ur-face-and-get-in-the-car @theashofwkm @strawberryjuiceboxxx DEAN’S TAGS: @belparons @hufflepuff4everandeverandev-blog @justalwaystired @sisterwinchesterwriter Lost Souls tags: @choosemyname @bobasheebabyficlibrary @missnvncy @smalltowndivaj @tatertot1097

Y/N had to take a few minutes to let all that information sink in… She knew something happened the last year, she saw the craziness with her own eyes, but she never thought it was because of the apocalypse. She somehow felt hurt again, that they didn’t call her for help back then… “We didn’t want to drag you into a fight that wasn’t yours.” Dean explained to her. Of course, the fucking world was ending, and it was only Winchester’s business.

“So… Sam held Lucifer and then went to hell.” She resumed, Dean swallowed. “Then…Somehow, he is back, but without his soul.” She knew weird, hell she was weird but that… That was something that her mind couldn’t imagine. “And he’s been like that for a year now?” Both men nodded. “And what the hell you were doing that you didn’t know your brother was back?” She spat. She cared of Sam Winchester, and she was surprised, to say the least, that his own brother was doing something until now. Dean’s mouth opened, pain reflected in his eyes.

“I… I got out.” He admitted. “I was with somebody.” She hated herself for feeling something in her guts when his words filled her ears. Dean Winchester didn’t care of her, one more time life was showing her that and yet, she managed to feel something for him.

Suddenly a sound interrupted them, someone knocking at the door. The three hunters exchanged weirded looks. “You were waiting for somebody?” Dean asked Bobby and he shook his head. There was the knock again and Y/N was the first to stood up, taking her gun out. Another knock. She opened the door and…

“Sam…” She gasped. It was like looking him through a mirror, a reflection of the boy she once knew. The last time she saw him, he was twenty-one, a very thin and tall guy but now his shoulders were bigger, his hair was longer, and his eyes were darker. “Y/N?” She wanted to hug him so bad, even though it wasn’t the Sam she missed. “Well… If you are here it means my brother told you, didn’t he?” Sam looked away and entered the house, giving a look to his brother and his adoptive father.

“What are you doing here?” Dean growled. “Relax, I just need something… Bobby, I’m hunting a banshee, I believe you have something I can use to kill her.” The man nodded. “Perfect, I’m gonna need it.” Bobby rolled his eyes and left the room followed by Sam.

“We definitely need to get his soul back… That guy is creepy.” She said to Dean, taking a sip of her liquor. “Why don’t you call your angel friend?” Dean looked at her and felt a little relieved, now he wasn’t the target of her rage. “Castiel? Nah… He is not answering. You see why I had to call you.”

“Yeah… But I don’t even know where to… Wait a minute, I think I have an idea.” She stopped her words as Sam and Bobby appeared back. “Y/N don’t listen to my brother, I’m hunting better than ever. I think you could go back hating him now.” Sam said, with a creepy ass smile in his face. “Or do whatever you want, I don’t really care… And thanks for the knife, Bobby.” He waved him. “Whatever.” And as fast as he came, he left.

“You were saying?” The older Winchester said, Y/N eyes going back at him. “Ugh… Well, it’s kinda stupid but it may work.”

Two hours later Y/N was in Baby’s seat again. Her plan was running, no time to waste. It was weird, being in the same space as Dean Winchester again, even if Bobby Singer was with them at the back seat. “Y/N…” Dean started, lowering his voice. “Look… I know you hate me and I know that I deserve It but…”

“Don’t” She interrupted him. “I’m doing this for Sam. Whatever happened between us don’t matter know.” He agreed, his green eyes going back at the road while a little smirk made it way to his face. Why he was smiling? He asked himself when he felt his heart filling, he only felt that when Y/N was around, not even Lisa had that effect on him and now he realized that.

Meanwhile Y/N tried to think in anything but Dean, but just by seeing his smile she remembered old feelings. Like when she was fifteen and she saw Dean with other eyes… That mysterious vibe around him, and how he changed when she was around. She knew he was attractive, but she didn’t know how much until that night.

That seventeen-year-old Dean Winchester, mocking around with his brother, while Y/N was staring at him. The three of them were left alone by John and Rixon. “A very dangerous hunt.” They said, and decided it was a good idea to leave two and a half teenagers in Y/N’s small house.

“Hey Y/N, coming or what? Or are you afraid your boyfriend will come and see us?” Dean yelled. Y/N frowned, that didn’t make sense at all. She shook her head and walked down the porch to get closer to the boys. “You are incredibly dumb, you know?” He smiled, his perfect white teeth showing up. “And I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Why not? You are not a popular girl in that little high school of yours?” She rolled her eyes, she was anything but the popular girl. Even though she and her father had a house they were barely there, always living on the road, jumping from school to school. “Oh, and you for sure are popular with girls.” She said back. But well, it was friggin Dean Winchester, he was extremely hot, and she was sure that if she could see that, others could see it too. Slim but fit, a smile that would light an entire room, two pair of green eyes brighter than emeralds.

“Yeah, where? In bars? Dad don’t let him go…” Little Sam step closer, making fun of his brother. “Girls think he’s a creep.” The older brother looked down at Sam, piercing through his soul, making Y/N laugh. “Yeah, thanks, Sammy.”

It was almost midnight, Y/N with a bottle of beer on her hand, sitting at the porch simply watching the stars when Dean found her. “What are you doing?” He asked, pointing the bottle. “You are not supposed to drink that you know?” She looked at him and smiled. “Dean c’mon my father is not here.” He got closer and took the beer off her hand, but he took a sip too. For a single second Y/N fantasized about his lips being in the same place hers touched. “How is that you don’t have any boyfriend?”

“What?” She let out a nervous laugh. What she didn’t know and probably never did was that something happened to Dean, the same way it happened to her. The way Dean looked at her changed, she was no longer that little awkward girl that could kill a vampire by her own. Her body was changing, the same way his did and she moved as a woman, making his eyes roam all over her body. “You have pretty eyes, you know?” He said, softly, giving her back the beer.

“Dean, I think you are drunk…” He could be seventeen, but he could drink the same as a grown man. “Well, at least tell me you’ve been kissed.” She frowned and laughed again. “Yeah, why? You haven’t?” She didn’t notice, but Dean was so close he could smell the beer in her breath. “Nothing worth remembering…” He purred. And before any of them could know what has happening, their lips found each other, needy hands touching each other.

“Dean…” She sighed. “Have you done before?” His lips left her neck and kissed hers once more. “No… But I want to do it with you.” She took his face in her hands while she smiled. “Me too.”

That night they lose their virginity to each other, even though it was his first time, it made her feel loved, in a way that no one else had ever done before and a way no one else would. She asked herself multiple times how somebody as Dean was virgin, and why he decided to lose his virginity with her… A question that will hunt her for years.

In her still innocent mind, she thought that something changed between Dean and her, that was the beginning of a cheesy love story. But the very next day he made it clear. While they were in an arcade with Sammy, Dean suddenly disappeared, and Y/N left Sam playing a videogame to look for him.

She ended up in the restrooms, the door slightly open. She peered inside and what she saw broke her heart for the first time. A redhaired girl sitting on the sink, her skirt pulled up, her mouth opened, and her eyes closed while Dean’s lips kissed her neck the same way he did to Y/N the night before. Y/N heard his belt flying opened and she ran away, tears falling down her face.

Of course, Dean Winchester only used her just to have sex, so he could do it whenever he wanted. He used her, he didn’t care about her.

Y/N looked her reflection in the window. Yeah, being around of Dean Winchester wasn’t being easy, already making her remember of everything he did to her. She looked at him once more. He was a man and he was, undeniably handsome. And something came to her mind, something mean… Maybe.

If Dean used her before, she could use him too. Yeah, saving Sam Winchester was her priority but if she could break Dean’s heart in the process she will do it. She wasn’t the same fifteen-year-old that believed his lies, she was different, and she would make him feel the same she felt.

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madridcampeon · 8 years

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boyyyyyyyyy i miss my nt .... so damn much

#there's still two months to go till the next international break #i'm like itching to see Cris happy and content and at ease in his life again #surrounded by all his childhood friends wtf #also i need joao mario in my screen again..................#he scored yesterday and i saw a pic and deadass cried #i can't believe how much i miss him #and i need him near his old buddies and i need cedric there too #and i need to be free to love the players from benfica and porto and that only happens during international break #like lemme adore danilo without feeling guilty i got slightly happy he scored a goal #also i miss eder wtf #i just miss them all AND WANT THEM BACK #also u can bet ur ass im gonna stalk the hell out of them when they're in lisbon #anyways this is a rant because i saw a pic of my babies on ig and got punched in the throat #and also because i've been yelling i want them back for like a month now

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asexualzoro · 7 years

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list of reasons I find zoro ridiculous

after my similarly titled mihawk post took off I decided to make a zoro post, since he’s my second favorite character and also arguably the most ridiculous character in all of One Piece. here we go

- I know what you’re all thinking. i’m gonna open this list with how he wields three swords, right? no. no, Zoro has done so much ridiculous bullshit, this doesn’t even seem weird anymore. i don’t even bat my eye at this. this is nothing. now that i’ve got that out of the way, let’s begin

- this dude has like, an obsession with cutting off his own limbs? and MAYBE i can understand trying to cut his feet off when they were stuck in wax—you’re trying to save your friends, i get it—but what about when he was sword shopping in loguetown? who’s first response when buying a cursed sword and testing if it’s really cursed is “i’ll toss it in the air n see if I get amputated lol.” plus there’s that old filler where luffy gets his finger stuck in a bottle and, when he asks zoro for help getting it out, zoro tries to CUT IT OFF. im convinced he lost that left eye of his bc he got dust or something in it and then tried to stab it out

- there’s like, several occasions where Zoro has been directed to head up a staircase and gone some other direction. it happened in enies lobby and in dressrosa? like, what’s the dude got against stai—... oh, wait

- his reintroduction post timeskip. get on the wrong boat? just cut it in half! who even cares! how’d you even end up on the wrong boat? you had to walk towards that boat, which means looking at the boat. that boat looked nothing like the sunny, wouldn’t zoro have noticed that? he also has to make an effort to climb on, which means, you guessed it, looking at the boat! he probably sees the crew members, maybe even gets helped up by one or a few. how did he not at any point in time notice that wasn’t his boat?

- also when they landed on sabaody the first time and zoro was like “i’m gonna go take a walk!” and both Sanji and Usopp tried to stop him, talking to him like concerned parents of a troublemaking toddler, like “Zoro you can’t go out there you’ll get lost!” to which Zoro replies “yeah but the grottos are numbered, I can find my way back if I just remember the number!” and Sanji and Usopp are like “okay, solid logic, even YOURE not dumb enough to mess that up” and what does Zoro do? what does he fucking do?

- I want to emphasize he messes it up because a bubble covers the 4 in “Grotto 41” so he thinks it’s grotto 1. BUBBLES. ARE. TRANSPARENT

- “sorry, I don’t pray to god” fuckin edgelord

- Zoro’s epithet is “Pirate Hunter” and it’s super lame. he could’ve been “Demon of the East Blue” but they went with pirate hunter, even though he became a pirate. even Chopper’s is better than his lbr

- THERES A SCENE WHERE SANJI THREATENS TO PUT RAZOR BLADES IN ZOROS FOOD N ZOROS LIKE “do it u won’t” SO SANJI DOES AND ZORO JUST EATS THEM? ODA EVEN GOT ASKED ABOUT IT IN AN SBS AND CONFIRMED YES, ZORO DID IN FACT EAT RAZOR BLADES. THIS 2EDGY4U BITCH JUST. STRAIGHT UP. ATE RAZOR BLADES

- in film gold he wears that black jacket under the white one. mind you he had no way of knowing he would be trapped in gold by tesoro or that they’d all have a dramatic coordinated outfit change once he was free so what the fuck was he doing? why did he wear that? who wears two jackets for no reason?

- “if i’m gonna be a statue I want it to be in this pose” “i’m glad I struck a pose”

- remember when zoro fought mr. 1 in alabasta and mr. 1 dropped a stone building on him and he was just like “this is a rocky day” or smth equally awful? i hate him

- the tarzan yell in skypiea

- actually, the goggles too.

- didn’t he try to convince someone he was fighting they were sunglasses bc they had some blinding light-based attack? I feel like he did but I don’t remember skypiea well enough to be sure

- Zoro vs the bird in skypiea. spent a fair amount of the damn arc running around skypiea getting messed w by a bird (which, according to Luffy, was more evolved than Zoro bc it had developed a sense of direction. burned by ur own captain)

- when asked why Zoro was able to speak with a sword in his mouth, oda said “IT’S HIS HEART SPEAKING”

- that colorspread Zoro where he reads a book about weightlifting while balancing a weight on top

- when Zoro fights that masochist guy in film gold (I think his name was dice?) and said some cocky ass one liner after the guy fell unconscious that went something like “What's wrong? Didn't it feel good? Aren't you gonna scream in pleasure?" awful

- Zoro almost gets murdered by Mihawk and then, later that day, tries to take on fishmen underwater. others r like “you cannot handle this, you will literally die” and Zoro doesn’t even care bc Luffy is in trouble

- he was sailing bc he left home to find mihawk and then couldn’t figure out how to get back

- remember that filler where Zoro taught Luffy how to skate but then forgot to teach him how to turn. I love both that this happened and the implication that Zoro is a person who knows how to roller skate and therefore has spent time roller skating. Zoro roller skating backstory when?

- when Zoro was fighting oz, a 500 year old corpse, he licked his sword. now, on top of licking his sword being ridiculous as hell because, listen, there’s NOTHING cool about licking your sword. you just look like a loser. but a sword that just came out of a 500 year old corpse? really? i know it was preserved by the cold and all but there’s no way it didn’t rot at all. that’s a rotted, frozen corpse. Zoro what in the HELL were you thinking. I hope you get sick

- i’m sure it probably wasn’t even the first time he licked his sword in a fight but I will say with absolute confidence he looked like a loser every single time

- I feel like he licked his sword while facing mr 1 but I can’t remember. if he did, that’s honestly iconic. stare down a dude that’s made of swords while licking yours? power move. only decent time to kick your sword

- Zoro, joining Luffy: “if you stand in the way of my dream i’ll kill you!” Zoro, a day later: “of course i’ll carry my captain in this heavy cage on my back to safety. oh this gaping wound in my side? nothing. who cares about bleeding to death, my captain needs me!”

- all those big weights he’s got. all of them.

- especially that time he was lifting weights post thriller bark after barely surviving kuma, still heavily injuries, complaining about how weak he is. buddy...

- that time in drum island where he decided to train by going swimming in the freezing ice-country water, then when he got out he got lost in the snowy mountains until he wandered into a random battle and took out some guy just to steal his coat

- this isn’t the only time he steals some random dude’s coat

- the chimney.

- that filler in smiles lobby where he gets, like, abducted by a bunch of children for a day and integrated into their family?

- Roronoa Zoro went fursuiting in dressrosa and that’s a canon fact you all must acknowledge

- speaking of being a furry anyone remember mugiwara theater?

- THE FUCKING MUGIWARA THEATER NAMES. mugiwara theater is a gift, alright? here’s some: nakamura hanzorou. zobear. ZOROMILK

- I FORGOT TO MENTION. THAT TIME ZORO N USOPP WERE HANDCUFFED TOGETHER AND ZORO TRIED TO CONVINCE USOPP TO PLAY ROCK PAPER SCISSORS WITH HIM TO SEE WHICH ONE OF THEM WOULD HAVE TO CUT THEIR HAND OFF

- also the fact that his logic was “it’ll be fine cuz chopper can just sew it back on”

- can we also talk abt how later that fight he uses Usopp as a sword because holy shit Zoro

- this isn’t technically zoro’s fault but the guy who sold him his sword to him in loguetown has a giant version of bounty image up above his bath, which........

- barto asked for zoro’s autograph and Zoro just wrote “sword”

- the grave of the rumbar pirates was finished right around when Zoro woke up from his coma post thriller bark and Zoro decided to walk over while Brook is sitting there mourning almost everyone he ever loved and just. plops his sword—an inanimate object—in the dirt by the grave of BROOKS ENTIRE CREW like “hey i’m gonna bury this here u don’t mind tho right? cool”

- he’s lucky Brook is such a cool dude cuz if I was mourning the death of MY crew and some fuck decided to plant a rusty sword there i’d just fuckin kill em

- in Zou they were talking abt whatever and Luffy mentioned how Sanji was as strong as one thousand men and Zoro, clearly jealous that Sanji got praised by Luffy, butt in with a stuttery objection on how HE was stronger than Sanji and worth TWO THOUSAND men, which luffy ignored, and Nami had to reassure him that yes, Zoro, we know you’re strong. toddler

- this is also not technically zoro’s fault but one time someone asked oda in an sbs which strawhats would eat ice in their drink and oda answered who would n wouldn’t (Luffy, Chopper, Brook, Usopp, and Robin would, if ur wondering). Zoro was on the wouldn’t list, and some fan sent oda a letter informing him of a panel where Zoro was shown eating ice to disprove this. someone pulled zoro ice eating receipts on oda and that’s a fact we all have to live with

- the first time Zoro meets mihawk—the strongest man in the world, the man he wants to defeat someday, and incredibly powerful and impressive dude—he cries like a baby

- zoro’s been crucified like 4 times now. once in his introduction than in three movies (6, gold, nebulandia). idk why this keeps happening but honestly? keep it up

- when Brook joined the crew, Zoro said he was sorry for Brooks bad luck as if one of the first things Brook ever saw Zoro do wasn’t to try and die for the crew via Giant Paw Ball of Pain

- speaking of, i’m pretty sure half the reason zoro DIDNT die in thriller bark is because if he died via smth as silly as a giant paw ball his injured pride would kill him again

- I was going to make fun of Zoro for wearing only a suit and a fake mustache in dressrosa as a disguise but then I realized, like, given how absolutely shredded Zoro was in Punk Hazard and how that suit somehow managed to squish it all down without zoro ripping the sleeves off? solid disguise

- when merry was burning and everyone’s bawling and remembering great memories on the ship and Zoro was standing there, 100% stoic, remembering a nap

- Zoro saw marines (Garp) coming to Water 7 while Luffy was still unconscious and ran off to warn the others but couldn’t find his way back to the hotel

- that G8 filler where he falls off a cliff in pursuit of his swords

- speaking of fillers, remember that amnesia one? (ha). highlights include Zoro trying to physically fight a small sea horse (plus Usopp doing a bad lip-syncing) and Zoro swimming through the Grand Line with his swords tied to his head by his bandana

- meets a dragon, eats the dragon

- it got mentioned once that Sanji and Nami canonly help Zoro and the other guys get dressed. so every time Zoro wears something absolutely ridiculous (which is often), it’s probably Sanjis doing

- “I can’t believe I cut a freaking booger!!”

- speaking of, remember that time Luffy flicked a booger into Zoro’s drink at the Baratie and Zoro tried to force him to drink it?? remember that?? I hate them both

- that time Zoro was trying to find the Right Eye in Skypiea, said that (though the path to get there was STRAIGHT AHEAD) all he had to do to find the right eye was just keep going right (even though that would just lead him in circles!). and then after that do you know what direction he went?? do you know?? he fucking went left

- the time Zoro got lost walking on a straight path in a filler.

- Zoro lost to a guy in a fight and just fucking let the dude cut him in half. like, yes, the baratie scene was all cool as all hell and I love it but Zoro did in fact basically invite a dude to cut him in half

- when they were hit by negative hollows and everyone else said stuff that was kinda funny but Zoro went straight up “I don’t deserve to exist” please honey talk to someone

- he was fighting Kaku and kept engaging in Kaku’s devil fruit bs and then berating himself for being uncool as if he wasn’t already fighting a giant giraffe

- to end this list, I want to get to Zoro’s absolute worst offense. remember when Zoro fought Kaku and he did that asura form thing? where he straight up grew four extra arms and two extra heads, all wielding swords? what the FUCK was that? and don’t tell me “fighting spirit” alright. that’s bull. people don’t just GROW EXTRA SWORD-WIELDING BODY PARTS because they’re just REALLY INTO a FIGHT. like I know this is One Piece and shit’s ridiculous all this time but this? this is too much. even for One Piece this is too much. this is so ridiculous. there has to be a line, even in One Piece, with what these guys are allowed to get away with. I can accept haki so good you can see the future. I can accept spinning so fast you set your leg on fire. I can accept being made of springs. I can accept booger bombs. I can accept all that and more, but this? this is where i take my stand. Roronoa Zoro cannot keep getting away with this! fighting spirit is just not an explanation. and the worst part? the absolute worst part?

- Zoro makes four extra limbs and two extra heads, all armed with swords, MATERIALIZE out of THIN AIR with absolutely NO REAL EXPLANATION and then pretty much NEVER DOES IT AGAIN! he did it once in sabaody (and once in strong world) and then hasn’t done it since! everyone else uses the power ups they got in enies lobby all the time but Zoro, somewhere out there, knows how fuckin sick this attack is (bc yeah it’s ridiculous as hell but like I still enjoy it) and he just won’t do it again. not once post timeskip has he used it at all. Roronoa Zoro knows what he’s doing and he is out there, right now, laughing

- roronoa zoro is one of my top three favorite one piece characters and I make this list entirely out of love. (feel free to add on more moments I may have missed and i’ll add them)

#One Piece #roronoa zoro #Zoro #im making a tag for these lists and it is:#ridiculous lists #I love this man. hes awful and I love him #I also want you all to know ive had this list in my notes for like a month and ive been adding to it this whole time #roronoa Zoro is a piece of work #my posts

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