#ur nothing but a goddamned blessing

[trannyfaggotry]

shout out to hairy trans women n girls who consistently kill dykes within a 2 mile radius from them by being the embodiment of motherfucking aphrodite

[bisexualrapline]

i hate army twitter lmao someone remind me not to go on there ever

[pityslash]

eye for an eye.

rain beat against the windows of your home, rattling glass and you always wondered what you’d do if a storm broke through. you really should have gone grocery shopping last week. what day was it?

the weekend. bless all might, it goes by so fast. the sun had started to set and you hadn’t thought about dinner. your friend's birthday is next month, maybe you should start picking out a gift?

your screen lights up and you realize your phone has timed out. there’s new messages from the group chat, mentions from multiple people you didn’t know.

[6:03PM pinky sent a message: ONGG guys have you seen bakugo’s post????????]

your interest was piqued, katsuki? that must mean he was finally back from the mission overseas. he was never one for social media, he goes offline months at a time and was always the last to know of articles or trends— being in the public eye was exhausting.

[red riot sent a message: haha mina you’re always the first one to see

pinky: DUHHHH HE

pinky: HE VANISHES OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH IM SHOCKED HE POSTED RN

pinky: i SCREENSHOTTED IT Y/N WAKE UP YOUR MAN POSTED AND UR SO CUTE IN IT]

you left the chat on seen, checking his profile and there you find a new photo on his page. the caption was nothing but a single emoji, and you feel butterflies in your stomach the more you scroll through the photos, all but the last slide being him and random pictures with izuku and shoto.

no, the last one was you. a muted video from the last date you two went on, almost a month ago. you were busy slurping your favorite ramen and bakugo’s face was hardly visible, but from his eyes everyone and their mother could tell he was grinning.

your face is red as it plays once more, that bastard.

“babe, look.” your mouth is wide open when you look over, just to see yourself with that goddamn record button taunting your very existence. he lets out a laugh, brash and so recognizable throughout japan. “katsuki stop—!?”

the mighty hero throws an arm around your neck, heavy on your shoulders. so he pulls you closer, the smell of black pepper strong, and he gives you a big kiss on the lips. “nah, gotta show the world.”

liked by notalienqueen and 4,735,082 others greatexplosionmurdergo ☹️

“i’m home.” his voice was loud, but so different from how he was on live television. he always acted differently around you. you turn around, throw your phone onto the small table and see katsuki standing at the door, soaking wet.

he struggles to take off his boots. “oh my god.” you said. “i just mopped the floor this morning.”

but you can’t dwell on it when he’s finally back. “welcome home,” so you reach for his shoulders, leaning up to kiss the scar across his cheek to his jaw, skin sunken but it healed just fine, something you were more than grateful for. “i missed you, beautiful.”

katsuki returns the favor, eyes heavy and muscles sore. he lets out a deep breath, “gon’ shower.”

“okay..” the hero was already peeling his uniform off, dragging his feet to the bedroom.

birthmarks you’ve memorized dotted his arms and shoulders, and you catch the largest scar uncomfortably on his spine— “.. wash up and then you can tell me everything, i’ll warm up leftovers! your favorite.”

katsuki acknowledges with a hum and you’re left alone in the living room, heeding for the sound of running water.

[maincharacteryn added to their story.]

[mrcarmenile]

okay HI

MY THOUGHTS ON THE FINALE!!

HAZBIN HOTEL FINALE SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

holy fucking god do i have words to say

here’s some INCREDIBLY unorganized thoughts:

alastor losing his filter temporarily made my heart DROP dude. also is it just me or did he lose his accent too? like it just kind of sounded like amir to me lmao

angel with his “charlie said to live tonight however we wanted” JUMPSCARED ME and then when he said “so pour me a fresh one” i was like Oh

adam said some real knee slappers this episode i was laughing so hard. “SUCK MY HOLY LIGHT FUCKERS” “chill lute. fuck” “wow i didn’t see this giant fucking shield in front of me YOU DUMB BITCH NO SHIT” are my favorites

the whole “now i’m going to fuck you” gag had me ROLLING (angel’s little 🤨 and valentino’s “well this just got interesting” got me dude)

ALSO LUCIFER FUCKED EVE????? HUH?????

vox screaming at the tv also had me choking from laughter, especially the “NOOO FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!! PUSSY!!!” (that is absolutely me yelling at the tv ur not alone vox 🙏)

the “these fucking angels won’t stop coming” “HA!” scene was weirdly cute and i love it

ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT EVERYONE’S OUTFITS???? CHARLIE’S DRESS WAS FUCKING ADORABLE AND VAGGIE’S SUIT THING WAS BADASS AND ANGEL SERVED CUNT WITH THAT LOOK AND DON’T GET ME STARTED WITH CHERRI BOMB so many halloween costumes to choose from man

also lucifer’s hot

alastor and niffty was the cutest thing i love them so much why are they wholesome ☹️☹️ “i dub thee - king roach!!” and the little crown 🥺

LMAO THE SIR PENTIOUS AND CHERRI BOMB KISS WAS EPIC AND COMEDIC AS FUCK (“that was kinda hot..” had me rolling)

the last song nearly had me crying like i SCREECHED when lucifer started singing to the tune of happy day in hell and the fucking vox and val duet???? and velvette filming them dancing??? the vees are terrible fucking people why was that scene wholesome LET ME HATE THEM STOP GIVING VILLAINS DEPTH AND EMOTIONS AND REAL BONDS PLEASEEEE (/nsrs obviously well written villains are peak but I WANNA HATE THEM SO BAD) also alastor’s part gave me fr chills like. “great alastor, altruist, died for his friends” THE WAY AMIR TALAI SANG THAT LIKE HE WAS ON THE VERGE OF SNAPPING. ROUND OF FUCKING APPLAUSE. and the new hotel looks fucking fire i can’t wait to see the interior!!!

the end of the last song nearly brought me to tears it was such a perfect ending note

SPEAAAAKING OF SONGS. HOOLY SHIT. THE MORE THAN ANYTHING REPRISE??? shit made me shed a tear like. AND THE KISS???? finally we get the goddamn lesbians god bless 🙏🙏🙏

also can i just say vox and val making out with tongue at the end for 0.5 seconds SENT ME. i was caught so off guard that i laughed until i choked dude like that shit fr got me

“how’s mercy taste ya little bitch” is officially one of my favorite hazbin quotes cuz the way jeremy jordan said it was fucking hilarious

oh and the battle scenes were fucking crazy i can see where half the budget went lmfao the fight scenes ATE

also wtf lilith was in heaven this whole time? just chilling? idk what to think or say about thing honestly

and if lucifer fucked eve is she in hell too???? is SHE the one who has alastor on a leash?? what is her relation to lilith??? are they working together or are they enemies or is eve pretending to be lilith or do they have nothing to do with each other??? why did lilith leave hell??? why did they let her leave hell??? what did lute mean by “your deal is done”???? i need answers bro

ALSO I WONDER WHERE EVERYTHING’S GONNA GO NOW THAT PENTIOUS PROVED SOULS CAN BE REDEEMED. now that they’ve proved it is the main plot going to be actually redeeming people? or is heaven gonna hide it from them??? can angel dust be redeemed when valentino owns his soul??? does angel dust truly WANT to be redeemed? once they know that you have to die to be redeemed are they gonna be able to take that risk?? now that i think of it wtf will be the main focus of season 2?? we know the vees play a big role so maybe they’ll try to prevent souls from leaving (maybe valentino will make it really hard for angel to leave and that’ll be a big part?) idk i got a lot of questions man

and it seems like they’re setting alastor up to be the main villain at the end. it seems although his mysterious deal isn’t allowing him to unleash his full power, so when he’s free of the deal i can only imagine how feral he could go. (my guess is that he uses the favor charlie promised to help release him from the deal and then charlie regrets it later when he goes crazy)

anyways all in all the finale is crazy good and i will NOT be getting over it any time soon and i am not ready to wait another few years 🥲

[fraternum-momentum]

How do u draw so good. Like ur drawings feel so solid and juicy,,,,very curious how u draw bodies so well and not make the poses look awkward. I also like it when i see ur art i can tell u had fun in making it. Any tips?

be horny as shit, hope this helps 👍

lmao jk (i think) but one thing i did notice is that i hate drawing ppl just standing. Like doing absolutely nothing, not even walking or some shit. My knowledge in anatomy just goes out the window the moment a character is just standing there ominously. so idk make them do something interesting?? Also I avoid straight lines like the plague bc my hands are kinda shaky, but it helps in more dynamic stuff so.

As for posing, study Gian Lorenzo Bernini's work ! His shit is OUGH it's so AUHGH it's fucking UAOHGHHHH

LOOK AT THAT. LOOOOK. WHAT THE FUCK ITS MAJESTIC?????????????? Everything looks like it's floaty and shit it's so magical to me. And look at the C L O T H. bro how???? HOW???? HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE CTRL+Z. That mf just carved that shit on marble what in the actual fuck.

'Il Ratto di Proserpina' is probably his most known work AND FOR GOOD REASON??????? THAT SHIT IS THE JUICIEST OF JUICES ITS SCRUMPTIOUS DELICIOUS. A WHOLE ASS (hah get it) BUFFET. BRO ATE THAT SHIT UP LICKED THE PLATE CLEAN AND ATE THE FUCKING PLATE IDK BUT YEA IT'S GOOD, ITS GREAT, IT'S COOL. Like you can feel how the skin and muscles react when a body part is being gripped, it's such a subtle thing but it adds SOOO much to it like it was already a 100 but that shit brings it to fucking 10000000000 idk dude its rlly rlly good.

Also don't tell me that this man was innocent. Bro was filthy. He was out there depicting gods and saints like this:

AND THE CHURCH JUST LET IT PASS. I mean I'm not complaining its great stuff but damn that nun is just nutting bro. and the best part is...

THERE'S ANOTHER ONE.

2 NUNS. 2 NUNS NUTTING.

I present to you 'Estasi di Santa Teresa D'Avila'.

I remember in class the teacher told us that she was receiving gods blessing or something idk I dont remember it much but the gist of it was that saint Teresa felt ecstasy during that moment. And yeah, she was recieving god's blessing alright, look at her, she passed out and everything. Goddamn, I want a piece of god's blessing too.

In conclusion, he knew what he was doing.

Also, this might be a hot take but Michelangelo's David? I dunno, kiiinda overhyped but Bernini's David??????????

OUHHHHH THE EXPRESSION. LOOK AT THAT POSE. YOU CAN FEEL THE WEIGHT OF IT OUGHHHHHHHH soooo good so fucking gooood.

And this man is the defenition of extra, look at this fucking chair that he made.

He did not need to go that hard on a chair but guess what? he fucking did. Gian Lorenzo Bernini NEVER missed.

[horsegirlalexkralie]

yEAH

They totally get off with the sneaking around, too. tim tells alex he'd love to keep this up, but only bc alex seemed to really enjoy himself and definitely not bc he's absolutely addicted to his cock at this point (nothing has been enough, he suddenly stops hooking up with random assholes bc none of them are good enough and he sends them off still needy and frustrated) and alex agrees bc he likes being able to finally break tim down and make him a mess

I say this idea gets 100 times better if tim and alex sneak off during filming and get caught fucking by brian and jay

real. so real. tim and alex still tsundereing at each other while theyre literally constantly sneaking away from work to fuck? so fucking real. constantly snipping at each other on set like everyone else cant see whats happening. 'calling for five' when they just got on set- like jay and brian won't notice. like they haven't seen alex taking tim aside night after night, the two of them arriving to rehearsal together, late, with flimsy excuses for why.

jay and brian cracking jokes every time the two of them are stuck alone on set abt what alex and tim must be up to that slowly turns into wondering and theorizing abt how hey, what if they are? they sure have been gone a while. wouldnt that be funny. it kinda works when you think about it, huh. h uh.

and theyre both Thinking About It (maybe sorta kinda talking abt it in a liiiittle too much detail to just be guys being dudes making jokes being bros and giving each other kinda sorta little bro handjobs and dudely manly kisses on the lips abt it) and then theyre on set and tims wearing what jay keeps calling his slut jeans and theyve been running the same goddamn scene for like an hour (six lines tim has six entire lines and hes said them more than brians gotten to open his mouth at all alex has to be banging him or doing weird psychosexual director shit with him this is like objectively silly) and jay sneaks out from behind the camera to whisper twenty bucks says alex tells us to take five in the next minute in brians ear and hes right.

and tim says hes going out for a cigarette all bitchy and huffy and alex snarks at him and stomps out the front door like it doesnt also lead outside and jays 👁👁 at brian w his big stupid eyes the entire time (not a subtle bone in that boys body bless his fucking heart) and he goes so we're gonna go after them right you wanna see if theyre actually doing it right . alex fucks guys in his car a lot cuz of the hatchback i bet theyre out there . like if theyre fucking . and brian caves "but only if we're not weird about it" just for them to stand there staring for a couple minutes too long and be obviously hard when brian (red, hands in his hoodie pocket so it hangs lower, averting his eyes) knocks on the window and coughs and goes uh, my neighbors are uh. home? and like up? and opening their bli- and they both scramble out and alex tries to ?? lecture them ?? like he has any right ?? (hes ?? hard ??? too ???? he blew off filming first ?????? is brian in the fucking twilight zone ????????) until somebody tim probably pipes up that maybe they do this conversation inside?

ends up being the right decision seeing as jay cant stop telling alex hes kind of hot and jay wasnt expecting him to top and does he still keep condoms in his car or was that like a slut era thing and he didnt know tim was his type man jays kinda jealous honestly are they like exclusive bc jay was totally thinking abt hitting th- alex shoves him against the wall when they get inside and asks if hes fucking kidding or what bc he doesnt have any right to be a shit abt this and jay just looks down at his dick and then back up like :3? and brian thinks ur cute together. just sayin lol. and alex short circuits when he puts all of that together at once

didnt mean for this to get like fic length whoops

[arsenalgbt]

ben taking care of his foster son b 🫶

https://twitter.com/nusenal/status/1754373421352513750?t=usFw55sASUB4Bvr2Vh0Udw&s=19

anon. tell me about it. no amount of my usual uppercase, keysmashing and !! can convey what I felt when I first saw it yesterday. nothing. he's just sooooooo. goddamn. really need him pregnant ngl??? he's that tender to a wholeass grown baby b. imagine him with an actual baby. eye................ eye can't.............

and shoutout to you. yes that's his foster son. cuz b's stepdad is Aaron and Aaron is Benjamin's best friend, therefore. yes. u get me anon. ur blessed. im blessed. thank you

[nats-revival]

the day millennials/older generations realize they’re just setting an example for how gen z wouldn’t raise their kids is the day i become mentally stable. first of all, the same mfs complaining abt the sephora girlies/ipad kids are the same one who were camping outside of target over a goddamn adult sippy cup, taking like six rolls of toilet paper when covid peaked, and are making their children illiterate. they’re also the same one who are raising children with bad attitudes and then saying it’s ’savage’ like no.. ur kids just an asshole that’s not cute. and also, the whole ‘ur not getting up from the table till you eat everything’ or forcing your child to eat is so harmful. like i remember once that my mom made me smth she knows i don’t eat and she made me try it and when i didn’t like it, she refused to make me something else so my sister made me some food (bless her soul.) like there’s nothing to learn from yall other than yall don’t know how to raise kids in a healthy environment. 😭

[lunapwrites]

when you get this ask you have to you could perhaps maybe bless us with 5 of ur fav songs (currently or of all time), and then send this ask to 5 of your moots who you think have good taste!

Hi hello yes this is one of my FAVORITE games to play. But please be prepared for some slight genre whiplash haha.

At heart, I am an angsty bitch. This song MOVES me like nothing else in this world, and is one I will absolutely belt out in the car if I'm by myself. But also - this is one of a small handful of songs I have always wanted to animate something for because it gives Remus-post-81 vibes but alas, my brain and hands continue to be on non-speaking terms.

Fun fact about me: I decoded the entire alphabet they'd used in the album art for this, and used to write notes to my ex in them so that teachers couldn't tell what I was writing. (S and R were also the same symbol, reversed, which is really funny in hindsight, even if at the time it fucked with my ADHD lol.) I have also done this with dwarven runes from LoTR, and also the entire Al Bhed language from FFX. Anyway this album saw a lot of play during my sophomore and junior years of high school, specifically, but this song has always been one of my favorites.

Tori my beloved!!!! This song goes so goddamn hard, and I have very strong memories of coming home from school and turning on "we have MTV at home" (which was in fact actually better than MTV bc they were JUST music videos, no fluff), and watching this woman marching barefoot through the woods, blindfolded and bound, and just !!!!! Choirgirl Hotel was one of the first CDs I ever purchased for myself for a reason.

This song has the distinction of inspiring the tone and tenor of my first ever poem when I was 12, which I had to submit as a school assignment, and which my teacher felt compelled to pull me aside and ask if I was okay about. Having to explain to said teacher that I was not in fact being imprisoned in my own home and that the poem was about our new puppy crying in his kennel was... an interesting experience lol. What can I say, angst is in my blood lmfao. Anyway, this is another one I like to sing along to a lot, and holds the distinction of containing both the lowest and highest notes I can reliably hit. (I know that Chris is a Baritone with a roughly 4 octave range, but as for what notes he's hitting in this song in particular? Fuck if I know.)

This song. Has such a GORGEOUS buildup - there's a hypnotic rhythm to it also that is fairly common with Tool songs, but just... really really shines in this one. Also it's a song about his mother dying, and about his complicated relationship with faith (and hers.) Like... my god. I know everyone likes Vicarious and The Pot, and they're great songs, but like....

COME ON.

Anyway, honorable mentions go out to "Orion" by Metallica and "Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town" by Pearl Jam and the combination of "Reset" and "Homecoming" by Misery Signals off of their absolutely stunning and literally flawless album Controller, and yes they do need to be in there together. I did also have "5 Dollars" by Christine and the Queens on here originally, but while that song is the epitome of queer joy to me, the impact of it largely comes from the video (being my enby awakening.)

Thanks for the ask! This was really hard to narrow down hahahaha.

[mllebabushkat]

☀️ Warrior Nun S2E6 🌙

PSA: i didn't survive this ep lakdsj;gjaskjda

haha my whiplash from Confusion to OH OH YOUNG SUZANNE

AND SHANNON

(wow i missed her and i barely knew her T^T)

so either shannon's older than i expected or superion is younger than i expected???

but more importantly

superion's halo is SO POWERFUL?????

she's got that a) touch of death palm technique Lite Version AND b) nifty overwatch lookin shield scuse me ava when will you

once again OST SLAPS

SHE IS SO BADASS!!,!,!,’cbnncbdbdbfj also cocky hahaha i love her

this fight's fave move: double neck skewer!

firstly, halo rejecting looks GNARLY

secondly, w h y (grief? fully drained? it somehow knew she failed to protect someone due to her own ego? severity of her own moral failing? i want. answers)

The PRIDE in bea’s look as ava talks 🤩 i am hanging on to every single avatrice interaction for my liFE

cam trying to summon the boogeyman is the horror trope i didn't know i needed ahahaha

MICHAEL'S GOT A NUKE tony stark lookin ass

"we are not both dying over some interdimensional power grab" u tell em!!!!1 (such a frustrating and common trope, why must the hero always be the sacrificial lamb for some lofty goal?)

yo that is one DIRTY look bea gave him tho lmfao

on today's episode of bullying william: "foster" what a dumb name L u delusional little shit

cut to vincent el bastardo

"and we shall contact god by text" the ABSURDITY PFFF

*what's in the box voice* what did adriel sayyyyyy????

obligatory fuck off adriel

picking out tmrws outfit slay boyo 🤡💁‍♀️is it me or does he look like Hugh Jackman with that new beard

back to the blessed blorbos!

team super cam aw <3

OH NO U DONT TOUCH HER GIRL LIKE THAT

protective!bea i'm swooningg

journalist!yasmine is so cuteeee

CAMILLA UR CHASTITY HAHAHAHAHHAA

clutching my pearls but also yes girliE GET SOMEEEEEEEE

is that the fuckin,, lalisa sonf? v hype but ngl doesn't fuuully fit the scene But i'll let it slide :)

“well then warrior nun, see you on the other side” 😍😍

you tell me that won't be one of her affectionate nicknames once they settle down and have their happily ever after i DARE you-

“do you know how i know that adriel isn't god, vincent? because he chose to speak to you” OUCHHHHHHHHHH

ok i'm calling it now that pointy cross is hanging Very Ominously over the stage,.,,

adriel choosing to mimic the medici’s bastardised image of Jesus the irony is not lost on me :)

so uhhhhhh why does the halo only sputter out at plot relevant moments? *shakes writers in frustration*

LILITHS TEETH VAGINA COSTUME

i'm so sorry but lilith girl they did u so fucking dirty wtf is this shitty look costumes dept u were doing so wellllll TAT

oh dear ava 🥺

yall there’s nothing that hurts me more than a well laid plan going wrong

lilith hurtling off the roof - HAHAHAHAHA YEET BITCH

where tf was ava hiding her helmet???? up her-?

kristian: “let it go” ah ofc they planned for this

insert it’s a trap !!!!!!!! meme

i can’t watch thissssssddsddd

oh boy the cross tip hanging ever lower like the sword of Damocles

I CALLED IT

nooooo rest in pieces duretti shdhdhajahgdhd

jesus that's brutal,, gnarly counter: 2

michael: "god isn’t real" maybe the true message all along was atheism :)

CAMILLA AND HER GUNNNNNN BIG BRAINNNNNN

AVA DESCENDING LIKE THE REAL ANGEL SHE IS

vincent seeing her-

lilith ex machina swooping in-

OK MICHAEL GOT A STAB IN gnarly counter: 3 (once again loving the gore this season !)

BOTH ava and michael choosing to sacrifice themselves in that moment PLS NO

ooh love the millisecond yellow sheen on adriels eyes

sister ARMS- sorry- i meant sister dora HELLO THERE

“come on pretty boy” ahahshdhdksjagahaha bea ily

back at base

ok fess up who's the goddamn snitch

(small eyeroll at the 'oops i destroyed the macguffin detonator' trope)

SUPERION NO

NO

NO

(did she die ????)

never has a cross been so hateful as the one drawn in blood fuck you william u little dipshit

SUPERION NO 😭😭😭😭

did lilith just save ava by teleporting her

jahdkclcpsjsxnxoxmxnsiskncc

this episode took my heart and shredded it in a meat grinder

superion has shot up my favourites list this season and for her to end like that-

and duretti!

but mostly superion TAT i'm suing for her And mary >:(((

ANYWAY

not keeping calm and carrying on-

[z3nitsusgf]

I've been here, I've done this all before

albedo + xiao + reader 

cw: afab femreader, threesome, overstim, size kink, jealously, degradation, throat fucking, cucking (?) albedo is ur boyfie but lets xiao pound ur puss, biting, spit, messy rough sex, double pen (eiffel tower), condescending dom albedo, mean xiao, lmk if i forgot anything!

note: i wrote this in 2 hours and im in the middle of finals so if its trash im sorry </3 

albedo will never admit it to him, but he thinks you look best like this. drooling and moaning and bouncing on xiao’s cock till you feel your brain turn to mush and you can only babble out pleases and more. "you got yourself a whore of a girlfriend albedo." xiao spits, yanking you by your neck so he can observe your ruined cunt. you hiss out a groan, smacking at xiao's shoulder and whining, "mean- you're mean. bedo he's being mean," albedo giggles at the way it flows out of your mouth like honey, tongue practically cement in your mouth.

"shut up, you like it, goddamn attention slut. can't keep your hands to yourself can ya? one cocks not enough for your pretty little cunt?" xiao mocks before albedo can say anything, smacking n pinching at your thighs while he picks you up and drops you on his length. your pussy being stuffed full of your tutor’s fat cock, while your boyfriend simply watches - and albedo is leaking and dripping in his boxers. slit practically drooling pre as he observes how the older boy grips your thighs and humps up into you like it’s the only thing he knows how to do. your legs have gone numb over his thighs, and your calf’s tingle up your spine as your body shivers in delight at the feeling of your pulpy walls sucking along xiao’s cock.

xiao is sucking at your skin, slobbering down your neck till it’s soaked in his spit and marked in his hot bruises, lip ring dragging across your jaw as he nips at your flesh till you yelp. and every rut makes you whine and gush down his cock. “take it, fucking take it.” he pants across your ear, sliding his palms to grip your ass so he can haul you down harder on his thick shaft, and you whine at the feeling of xiao punching that gummy spot in your cunt that makes you mewl.

albedo watches the sticky slick connect where xiao pounds into you, and xiao is glaring with slitted teal eyes, “tell him who fucks you better,” he grumbles, and albedo smiles as xiao push your hips down to grind up into you. and you wail, knowing either answer will get you in trouble. you nuzzle your head into xiao’s neck, squeezing your eyes shut.

your boyfriend comes up from behind and tilts your head back, caressing your cheeks before leaning down to kiss your slobbery spit-soaked lips, “so pretty, my pretty pretty little baby.” he mumbles across your mouth, and you loll your tongue out for him. all pink, nice n shiny with saliva and cum, and he cups your head as he licks flatly across your tongue. "bedo," you bemoan into his throat and xiao rolling his eyes at your affection. and he doubles his efforts, bouncing you on his cock like it’s nothing. and the wet smacks are squelching messily in the dorm room. every thrust pulling out coated with thick translucent cream, sticky and messy.

“go on baby, tell him,” albedo softy smiles down at you, your eyes glazed over and teary. “maybe i’ll even let you cum this time,” he whispers and you whimper out a moan, gripping xiao’s shoulders and curling into him as albedo chuckles. this is just as exciting for him as it is for you. xiao stares at you with a raised brow, and you clamp down on his cock with a whine. you know it’s a trap, you know that albedo is pretending to be your savior, a blessing in disguise. when in reality, he’s waiting for you to slip up too - and yet you still fall for it.  

you swallow your pride and you rock your hips harder against xiao's thrusts, “you fuck me better xiao, pleasepleaseplease let me cum,” you beg, the faint embarrassment bubbling in your tummy when xiao smugly sneers and kisses you sloppily on your lips. pecking you on the mouth where your boyfriend had fucked your throat just a few minutes prior,

“of course princess, when you ask so nicely- how can i say no?” and you’re being brutally pounded again, the thick mushroom head ramming into your cervix and making you cross-eyed and drooly, and you slip out warbled thank you’s. and you’re already thrumming in overstimulation, already stuffed and shaking until you feel extra of hands cup your sticky tits from behind and tweak and pinch your perked buds till your forming a nasty arch into xiao. you can feel his cock rub against your back, wet and leaky and seeping with pre as he smears it across your lower back as he plays with your tits.

“bedo- hah, can’t, please baby-“ you moan and pant and albedo is shushing you and sliding his hands down your plush hips and to your puffy slicked up clit that’s twitchy and budded. you can’t even shuffle away from either of them, sandwiched between your tutor and your boyfriend. “come on pretty, cum for him good and hard like a good girl.” albedo kisses along your sweaty and bitten shoulder, and presses two pads against your stiff clit and circles harshly. it makes you jolt and yelp and twist on xiao’s lap as you clamp with a gushing slick on his cock and tumble into his chest. the coil is lightning hot and burning down your spine and through your legs, it makes the tips of your fingers tingle and toes curl as you clamp down like a vice on the two-toned boy's cock.

“oh-fuck,” xiao stutters his thrusts as he feels your pretty pussy suck and clenches around him, and he’s rolling his eyes back into his skull and feeling himself about to cum inside your cunt when it all gets ripped away from him and he’s snapping his eyes open in shock. “the fuck albedo?!” he growls, damn near ready to snatch you back into his lap when albedo clicks his tongue against his teeth.

“tsk, i told you not to get your nasty cum inside her pussy.” albedo chastises, holding you by to your trembling thighs, you can hardly stand on your own. your pretty boyfriend hugging your waist and kissing down your neck as he waits for you to come down from your high before he nudges you onto your knees so you can kneel in front of the boy. xiao panting and about to fucking cry it seems, glittery wet eyes glaring holes at the soft blonde boy.

“go on baby, let xiao use your throat, please.” your boyfriend coos, petting your head, and you nod. trembling thighs that are painted with dripping slick, folds pulsing in aftershocks of your orgasm and you pump xiao’s cock in your palm, wrapping your lips around the hot red tip that’s drenched in cum and slick. lapping your tongue around the slit as you bob your head until you swallow around him, and xiao is grunting and grabbing at your head to get you to go faster. throwing his head back, black and dark teal tresses sticking down his neck, mouth parted as he bucks his hips into your throat.

while you suck xiao's cock, albedo is parting your sticky puffy folds with lithe fingers. examining the twitchy pulsing hole that drools in clear cum and makes you tremble when he blows air on it. "look at you gorgeous, all for us too," he sighs, parting your walls with two fingers as you mewl, drooling down xiao's balls.

"fucking lovesick freak." xiao huffs, trying to look away from the scene and focus on how you slobber and choke on his dick - but albedo is pulling himself out of his boxers, and he's bigger than xiao expected him to be. pretty cock for a pretty boy, it's fitting really, all pale with a flushed almost hot pink tip that blushes down the shaft and has a thick vein running along the underside. "yeah, I am, but at least I get to cum in her." albedo smiles, lips up softly as he pushes his hand on your lower back to form a curve in your spine, ass out and presenting just for him.

albedo uses his other hand to push the leaking head through your fluttering pussy and watches as you suck him in greedily, eyebrows drawing up as he groans and grabs the fat of your ass to hold himself back. and xiao is already on the verge of cumming down your throat while he watches. the blonde bottoming out quickly as you choke on xiao's cock from how deep he is, gripping onto his thighs for support. 

"there we go sweetheart, knew you'd come back to me," albedo coos, smoothing his hands up to grab your plushy hips, he hears your muffled garbles and whimpers and drags his cock out before snapping back in. it pushes you forward and down xiao's length, and xiao is moaning at the feeling of your throat tightening around him, using your mouth as his own personal onahole till he can shoot his cum down your palate and see you swallow it.

you're unbearably full. stuffed down your throat and what feels like your tummy as your pretty boyfriend uses you like a fuckdoll, and you feel your gut tightening again. xiao cums first this time, his palm coming up to grip your neck and shove you to the base of his dick, and he bucks into your throat and cums down it, not letting you savor the taste on your tongue. "fuck fuck fuck-" he pants, and it blends in with the wet smacking of albedo's hips meeting your ass as he bullies his way into your cushiony walls.

tip kissing your cervix and making you more lightheaded than you already are. xiao yanks you off his throbbing cock, stringy webs of shimmery spit and cum connecting you to him, and you let loose your moans. you cum next, gushing down albedo's cock again as you spray his abdomen and cry into xiao's lap. 

"just a little more kitty, 'm almost there," albedo's eyes roll back into his skull as he wraps his arms around your waist and curls over you to hump your pussy as he pumps you full. thick milky white spills from you and drips down your thighs and onto the carpet, and xiao can't help the twitch in his sensitive cock at the sight.

the three of you huff and pant into the room, your trembling twitchy body covered in cum and hickies. albedo is kissing down your neck, and xiao sits in the chair with his usual bored expression, though he won't admit the deep-rooted ache at the sight of you two. "well Mr. tutor, same time next week?" albedo hums, and xiao nods. "same time next week."

[baeshijima]

𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫!𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐲/𝐧

A/N : i have nothing to say other than the fact there will be an excessive amount of twitch slang bc why tf not + just,,, heavy streamer!albedo brainrot ;-;

masterlist

AIGHT

streamer albedo

…

pog—

so before we get into him being whipped for u, let’s go over the type of strimmer mr Kreideprinz is

fun fact that’s his twitch name—

albedo would be the type to do lots of variety streams of different games, but also the occasional art one if he wants to have a chill stream with his chat !!

speaking of chat… they’re an odd mix of wholesome supporters, KAPPA + POGGERS + catJAM (bc he always has some bangers on in the bg like yes u bless our ears my guy) + KEKW + EZ Clap + his own emotes spammers, mr albedo’s very own shrimps (me, ahEm—), and ppl who just appreciate his voice + gameplay

if there’s a troll he just bans them OMEGALUL

omg he has lots of emotes (which he made in some of his art streams so his viewers could choose some) for every scenario but we’ll get into the popular ones in a bit 👁👁

he’s most definitely one of the bigger, well-known streamers but with a smaller group of friends

his discord server has,,, a lot of ppl,,, 70k+ ppl big,,, rip notifs if ur in it ;-;

he has it muted tho 🐥 like, sir, that’s ur server pay the goddamn price smh

wait i forgot to mention this but he has his webcam on when streaming

so u can bet ur chickens that when ppl come to visit his stream bc of whatever category he has on, they stay for his visuals and voice <33

his twt 🤡 mans gets 1k+ likes, rts, comments within the first 5-10 mins

omg he gets soft when he receives sm support from his community 🥺🥺

gifts so many subs when hitting milestones, chat is wholesome or just whenever really HJKSDHKL 

also doesn’t swear much unless he gets played by his own game and/or someone is being incredibly annoying <//3

he also just,,, eats on stream

albedo straight up takes his webcam with him to show him cooking if his viewers ask for it

or he just orders food then and there and eats while chatting to everyone or watching youtube with his chat 🥺

nOW ONTO HIM BEING WHIPPED FOR U AS A GENSHIN STREAMER

this AR55 man 👩‍🦯

he can literally produce content from anything

from artifact farming, to spiral abyss, to running around mindlessly, to building characters he would normally never build, to him seeing how high up is considered too high to dive

and everyone eats it up bc it’s albedo <3

also !! he’s the type who includes the story quests in his streams so his reaction and thoughts on everything is just,,, there

now when u were first introduced in the prologue (yes ur one of the ogs + involved in the dvalin fight <33) he blanked and all his viewers could see was u on screen with him staring blankly in the bottom right of the screen

this man straight up saw u in a cutscene for one second and fell in love

his chat went wild omfg

he immediately made an emote for u and that’s his most popular one 😌

but i kid u not, the moment u appeared in that cutscene (one in which he will forever treasure in the crevices of his heart) was the moment he asked this exact question ;

“ so (y/n) banner when? ” 

and mihoyo heard his pleas and answered with ur event banner 

except it was like,, 4 months later 

at least ur finally here tho :’)

now he can have his lil science-y moments with ur voicelines ;-;

yes, ur the chief alchemist but ✨ 𝒅𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕 ✨

. . .

shut up

n e who

when he saw the notification from mihoyo’s official forums that u will be a playable character in the new update — along with new characters, region, events & a domain — i shit u not he did a rt, his own tweet, an announcement on the community feature on youtube, and made constant reminders to his viewers on twitch abt how he will be a (y/n) haver no matter what

he even added future (y/n) haver in his twt display name

what a shrimp—

the 1.2 update stream 🐥 he was there waiting for it to go live with like,,, 19k viewers spamming his chat abt predictions and obv ur official release + showcase

and when i say this man fell even more in love while watching ur trailer and character showcase 🥺 he wouldn’t stop smiling or being in awe bc ur just??? so stunning???

mihoyo clearly has a favourite child and it’s u

chat was spamming ur exclusive emote like crazy oml

u can bet it was also flooded with lots of POGs and POGGERS 

overall it was a very fun, chaotic stream filled with lots of (y/n) appreciation and love <33

also a very memorable stream for all his viewers bc of the side of albedo they rarely see unless ur involved

the day ur banner was to go live tho 🐥

the streams leading up to the fateful day consisted of him farming ur mats 

that’s it

boss runs, local specialties, hero wits, talent books, the mats needed for ur weapon he was inevitably going to pull for (only the best for the best, afterall) and many domain runs

many painful domain runs

all of it was worth it tho bc ur worth everything :’)

an actual quote said by him—

at least he can get u and ur weapon to lvl 90 right off the bat with all the artifacts tailored for u ;-;

and get u to that point he did HJSDKJF

once ur banner dropped? immediately started wishing

2 multis in and he gets u 😣

albedo nearly cried and was the literal embodiment of head in hands

wHEN I SAY HIS CHAT BLEW TF UP AND HIS MODS JOINED IN

modCheck has left the chat

everyone’s rooting for him :’)

pulled for ur weapon and got it in 1 multi

sir give me ur luck pls and ty

but yes he nearly choked on the gASP he let out while chat screamed even more

he blanked for a bit, i won’t lie ;-;

but when he realised this was real, he immediately went to his party set up and put u in

can we all get an f in the chat for his lvl 10 tartaglia 😔💔👊

his chat usually rages at him to build him but if he’s being honest, he cba

ur vl when he put u in the party tho <333

now he’s just spent half an hour running around with u, letting u do ur idle animations (will always be grateful for mihoyo creating u like this), reading ur very limited (for now—) character story and going through ur voicelines 

ur morning & about us (when he unlocks it) voiceline >>>>> his heart be running laps rn i swear

eventually he does begin to build u after much admiration on his end and at lvl 1 with lvl 20 artifacts, u already have 1.6k atk 🐥

now after he levels u and ur weapon to lvl 90, u have 2.8k atk 🐥

rip mobs <//3

he now plays u as his main dps 😌

the kit initially designed for u is meant to be more for support?? kinda like the whole ganyu or zhongli debate abt them being a dps or a support/sub dps ;-;

except ur more utility like venti or bennett

and even though the majority said at the beginning (aka, mihoyo, pretty much any other streamer and the larger part of the fanbase) that ur meant for support, he said fuck that and built u as his main dps

and i won’t lie, u do more damage than any of his characters, and ppl who co op with him

ur his pride and joy :’)

he went to take a look at ur consts to see if they were worth the rng suffering and, lo-and-behold,

they were

so now he’s using all his saved primos for u to try and get ur c6 const, along with making ur weapon r5 :’)

his chat gets a free view of him internally suffering when the gold light doesn’t come, and his external suffering when he loses the 50/50

in the end, he decided to whale for u <33

after nearly an hour, he has u to c6 and ur weapon to r5 ;-;

now all he’s been doing the whole stream is running around with u in open world, doing his daily farming, doing more domain and boss runs, exploring the new region (dragonspine) + ur story quest

he’s saving the event quest for another stream bc ✨content✨ 

in ur quest, he had multiple heart attacks and now has many, many screenshots <3

he now has a zoomed in pic of ur face as his twt pfp <33

okay so i also feel like he’s not all that bothered abt getting characters to friendship level 10 immediately and would rather let it happen through time

but obv ur not any other character *proceeds to debby ryan at u*

even if ur not fit for a particular domain or boss, he still puts u in the party so when collecting the blossom/rewards, u can get the friendship exp ;-;

he just wants ur name card so he can show off okay 🥺

when he lets his viewers pick out the playlist, 98% of the songs are from ur character demo theme 

they just know him so well 😩

they also just wanna see the way he smiles when he hears it play but shhhhhh

now he just has his in-game avatar as u, and ur namecard too <33

also his signature is just ;

“ (y/n)’s favourite streamer ”

[hornime]

home workout | bokuto koutarou x gn!reader

“i’d let you do- do anything. anything you wan’ to me. i’m yours. all- all,” his voice raised a few octaves as the inside of your thighs brushed past his cockhead, “yours. all yours.”

warnings: 18+, sub!bokuto, jealous!reader (i mean who wouldn’t be when bokuto, your goddamn boyfriend, is perceived by other people the fuck), also lowkey possessive!reader, lotsa licking and sucking, nipple play, some praise (from reader) and some begging, brief mention of dacryphilia, kinda soft at the end

w/c: 1.5k sheesh

a/n: bokuto brainrot has me in literal tears. him being completely clueless to people flirting w him cus he doesn’t recognize romance from anyone but you has me so soft. i luv this man w my whole heart !!!!! ALSO THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE ON THE BAKUGO FIC I JUST ABOUT SHIT MY PANTS WOOWWOWO

you weren’t an idiot. you knew that your boyfriend was attractive in literally every aspect of the word. he was sweet, patient, and kind, and what he lacked in academic smarts was made up tenfold in his emotional maturity and ability to read people. big and beefy, bokuto was all yours and all you wanted to stay trapped within his arms forever. unfortunately, to maintain the figure you adored so much and stay in shape for the volleyball season, he had to leave the four walls of your shared bedroom far more than you liked, having a daily obligation to spend a few hours at the gym.

once again, you weren’t an idiot. the few times that your work schedule and his training schedule aligned, you’d been able to work out together. and despite your knowledge of just how good-looking bokuto was and the fact that other people could perceive him (much to your chagrin) you were shocked at just how much people shamelessly flirted with him. 

cute girls with matching leggings and sports bras practically clung to his biceps, gushing about how strong he was and how he could probably pick them up with just one hand. their incessant giggling, mesmerizing hair twirling, and teasing touches pissed you off to no end, and you’d tug your boyfriend away before their breasts got too close to him for your liking.

something else you noticed was that, no matter how blatantly obvious the girls seemed to be, the guys were somehow worse, flirting through terms you couldn’t even understand. they compared deadlift weights, bicep curls, hip thrusts; you gritted your teeth thinking about whether they’d ever compared cock sizes in the locker room—you wouldn’t put it past those thirsty gym rats. sneaky bastards.

and bokuto, of course, was oblivious to it all. how could you blame him—he was so used to being adored! you knew that, to him, all of their praises paled in comparison to yours, but you couldn’t help but feel jealous. he was all yours—should be all yours—and you hated sharing him with the world.

you woke up saturday morning with a ringing in your ears, hand smacking the nightstand trying to turn off that god-awful alarm noise, bleary eyes barely able to focus on the text notification from your boyfriend.

[5:33 AM] kou: gm babe!!!! i didnt wanna wake u up cus u looked so peaceful! im heading to the gym rn. text me when ur up! love uu

[5:34 AM] kou: should be home around 9!! gym bud wants to show me something so i might be a little late for breakfast.

just to reiterate, you weren’t an idiot. for all the annoying flirting you noticed when you were with bokuto, there was no doubt in your mind that there must be a lot more when he was at the gym alone, which, unluckily for you, was most of the time since he was a freakin’ pro athlete and all.

you couldn’t prevent the pool of envy from swirling in your gut. gym bud? are you serious? who could that be? the girl with the arm tat or the dude with the dreads? no, maybe its that yoga instructor with the ass—

you shook your head, clearing your brain. you’d be here for hours if you went through everyone at that stupid gym that had ever shown interest in bokuto. the clock read 9:53 AM and the green flame in your body only burned brighter. just as you were about to call him and ask where he was, the front door slammed open.

“babe! i’m home!”

you silently put your phone down, teeth still clenching in jealousy. for some reason, hearing his voice only exacerbated the tension in your shoulders. you needed him. now.

“babe?” his voice creeped closer as he tread through the hallway towards the room. “you up?”

you peeked your head out of the doorframe, cheery voice masking your devilish intentions, “kou!"

his eyes brightened as he made eye contact with you and flashed his trademark smile. “hey! what’s u-” he took in the mischievous glint in your eyes “-p?”

you grabbed his burly forearm, yanking him behind you and walking towards him, forcing him to stumble and fall back on the bed. “wait! i’m all gross and sweaty,” he said, “gym showers were broke-”

“i don’t care. take off your shirt.”

“wow, someone’s eager. missed me that much?”

“watch it,” you glared. “i’m not in the mood, kou.”

he gulped at the dominance radiating from your voice, scrambling to take off the t-shirt that stretched between his pecs perfectly. with the fabric off and throw haphazardly to the side, he looked to you expectantly, the epitome of innocence.

your eyes wandered over his sculpted chest, the remnants of a soft sheen of sweat from his workout making it shine in the sunlight pouring through the blinds. your heart stuttered in your chest—he looked like an angel. coupled with the way with his bottom lip was tucked under his front teeth and the wide, anticipating look in his eyes, fuck. you almost smiled how blessed you felt in that moment, to see him in such a raw, alluring position, before a jarring thought caused your lips to twitch back into a frown.

everyone else can see him, too.

your eyes hardened. maybe they can see him all big and strong, you thought, but they’ll never get to see him like this: submissive.

and so fucking sensitive.

within an instant, your lips were latched on the soft spot above his collarbone, causing him to whimper in pleasure. you continued to travel along his throat, slowly working your way to the other side of his neck and crossing back to nibble at his adam’s apple.

you unexpectedly pulled away, drawing a short whine from him, before repositioning yourself so that you were straddling his outstretched legs. slowly, starting from the hem of his shorts, you dragged your tongue between the ridges of his abs, moving up towards his pecs, tasting the saltiness of his sweat and feeling the muscles tense underneath.

“fuck,” he groaned. as your lips puckered around one of his peaked nipples, he uncontrollably jerked his hips up, inadvertently rubbing his sensitive cock between your legs. overwhelmed by the sensation, he moaned. “fuck.”

“you taste good,” you muttered, grazing your teeth over his other nipple. “just wanna taste you all the time. you’d let me, right?”

thoughts muddled by just how good everything felt, he nodded mindlessly. “i’d let you do- do anything. anything you wan’ to me. i’m yours. all- all,” his voice raised a few octaves as the inside of your thighs brushed past his cockhead, “yours. all yours.”

you paused. raising your head from his chest, you made eye contact with him, so intense he almost closed his eyes to shield himself from the blaze burning in your dilated pupils. “why’d you stop,” he begged, “i want more. feels so good and i wan’ mor-”

“say it again,” you demanded. “tell me that you’re mine.”

his eyes, glossed over and prickled with tears precariously close to falling, squeezed tightly as he spoke, unable to control the growing volume of his voice. “’m all yours. always. all yo- yours.” he gasped as you resumed your movements, pinching the sensitive skin around his v-line while fervently leaving sloppy kisses on his chest. 

“good boy.”

he keened at your praise. another light touch to his cock combined with the passage of your mouth had him trembling, and his breath hitched as he cried out in warning, tears now flowing freely over his flushed cheeks. “m’ gonna cum, ‘m gonna, gonna cum.”

“yeah?” you whispered, lips brushing against his strained abs. “go ahead then.”

“fuck!” he whined, blabbering as you sat back and watched in awe of the beauty before you, a big strong man like him reduced to nothing more than a moaning mess. “fuck, fuck—you always make me feel so, s-so go-od, fuck i love you.”

with soaked shorts and an exhausted sigh, he dropped his head back onto the plush comforter of the bed. you flattened your palms on his quivering body, reeling from the aftershocks of his orgasm. he panted, running his fingers through your hair before nudging your face to look at him, staring at you with an expression of pure bliss and adoration. he studied you for a bit before declaring with a soft smile, “you’re the best. so fuckin’ happy that i’m yours.”

driven by affection, he sat up and reached his arms around your waist, snuggling his chin over your shoulder and mashing your chests, yours clothed and his naked, together. “kou wait!” you shrieked. “you’re all sweaty again! it’s gross!”

he chuckled. as if you hadn’t been spoiling him by licking it up just a few minutes ago. “you’re right. i‘m probably sweating more now than i was after my workout.”

at that, your ears perked up. “well maybe you should do home workouts more often then,” you teased.

“you’re right,” he repeated with a grin, “maybe i should.” if it meant more mornings like these, he’d forego the gym in a heartbeat. 

that night, he canceled his gym membership. after all, he reasoned, it’s offseason anyway.

© property of hornime 2021. do not plagiarize any of my writing and do not repost/copy my writing onto any other sites.

[anne-i-write]

moriarty the patriot headcannons pt. 1

| requested by anon: Can you write about all male characters in moriarty has a same look of their  children and hpw many children they want? |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader; sebastian x reader; fred x reader

word count: 2397

pt. 2: 221b boys

a/n: I DONT KNOW WHY I DIDNT WRITE THIS EARLIER IM SO SORRY THIS REQUEST HAS LITERALLY BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS

william: 487 words

with his whole plan to clean the world of the filthy nobles, william never really stopped to think about having children

well, until he met you

you both were in town one day and he saw you fondly watching a child speak with her mother

“i think two children would be nice”

“i didn’t even ask”

“i know, but the look you gave that mother was telling enough”

n e ways he is a simp and he did eventually give you what you wanted

fast forward a few years, you have two children: a boy and a girl

and they look exactly like their father

like,, it lowkey pains you how much they physically take after their father

you wanted to be like “oh they have your personality, but they look just like me!”

no

granted, your son took after you in an emotional sense but your daughter was a daddy’s girl through and through

like she looks like him, she acts like him, speaks like him, she even EATS like him

ok but the men w your children

fred is a freaking sweetheart ok

like he’ll watch over the kids when no one has the time and they love him too so they’ll help out in the garden which you are SO thankful for

tbh they only like uncle albert bc he brings them lil trinkets from when he gets back from london LMAO

louis doesn’t show it, but he absolutely adores your children and makes extra snacks for them at tea time

you caught onto this at one point bc for some REASON your kids would not stop bouncing off of the walls before bed and they told you uncle louis gave them chocolate

and sebastian loves messing w your kids bc,,, sebastian

but he accidentally made your son cry ONCE and he was at the mercy of every adult in the moriarty estate including the boy’s younger sister

needless to say, he watched his actions and words around your children after that

now, william

i’m just gonna say this straight out: most of the men never really thought about having kids (save john and albert)

but when you finally had kids, william had a different outlook on life

like fr,, this man works overtime now trying to get rid of the filth that is called nobles

he doesn’t want his kids to be raised in a world where just because you have more money than another means you get to look down on them

you still instill in them those good morals ofc

he also tries to be very present in their lives since he and his brother were raised as orphans

when he was younger, he didn’t mind it all much

but now that he had this small family and a brighter future, he did everything in his power to make sure they’re happy and grow up in a cleaner and kinder world

louis: 320 words

it took you a week to get him to at LEAST humor you

“if you could, how many kids do you want?”

“none”

like, this guy is so dedicated to his brother and his cause it is a WONDER you somehow wormed your way into his heart

but you did and honestly, the brothers are actually very happy that you’re with them

william especially

louis rarely emotes but when you came into their lives, you got louis pissed at one point and everyone was like,,,, wtf?? he has emotions???

anyways, his answer is one kid LMAO

and when you get that one kid, he looks just like louis

yall already KNOW that he’s ready to die for that child as soon as louis holds him in his arms

the only kid sebastian wouldnt even try to mess with

he can deal with william’s albert’s or fred’s kids but louis lowkey intimidates him so he’s as nice as he can be

that being said, louis teaches his kid how to properly handle stuff around the house

you want to cry bc ur son is just so??? the little kid just loves helping out no matter how small the task and he’s just so cute it hurts

even sebastian’s kinda like,, “aight he’s the only kid i will tolerate”

louis grew up with only his brothers so he also wants to give his son a shot at a normal family

is actually aware at how he thinks he’s indispensable for william’s cause and he doesn’t want his son to end up like him

he also teaches his son some badass fighting moves

oh and louis smiles a lot more too

cried bc his son saw the scar he got on his cheek, rubbed some dirt on his lil face and said “i have daddy’s cool scar now”

all in all his son is the best thing to happen to all of you

albert: 505 words

same as louis in the fact that it takes him a week to answer

“you know you haven’t even answered my question”

“i’m sorry, what did you say?”

“how many kids do you want?”

genuinely takes time to ponder that question

he hadn’t thought of that since his family adopted william and louis

but with you?

“i think two darling girls who take after their mother is enough for me”

pls he’d be so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

you two end up having a girl and a boy, who look just like their father

and tbh, you’re not even mad

you love them so much so when albert comes back north, the three of you are ecstatic

the happiness was short lived for albert tho

he found his son spending time with william and there’s nothing bad right????

“where’s your sister?”

“she’s with mr. moran”

his heart DROPPED

out of all the people in the manor

HIM

he sees the two running around the garden

it all happened as soon as albert’s daughter went up to sebastian and said “you’re very pretty! you’re my knight now!”

he decided to “adopt” the little girl and now he’s lowkey whipped

you found albert staring at sebastian playing with his daughter and updated him about everything going on

“but him??”

“he’s just a big softie for her let it go”

isn’t really surprised when he finds out they can fight a little

actually glad that they can hold their own, God forbid anything happens to them

otherwise mi6 has to deal w family matters lmao

“albert, she only tripped”

“you shouldve seen the fear in her eyes as she fell”

“IT WAS A STRAY COBBLESTONE”

would raise hell if anyone even THOUGHT ill of his kids

william and louis are the doting uncles

william more so than louis bc your kids have never seen louis smile

now they’re on a mission to make uncle louis smile

louis was on child duty one day and they managed to slip away

omyGOD he was stressed but also,, extremely worried

so when he found them he had the most genuine smile on his face

your daughter was like (・∀・)

she loves uncle louis

ofc your son adores his dad like,,, who else wouldn't feel awesome at the age of 10 if you found out your dad was a high ranking general

feels superior to sebastian bc of his dad

lmao this 4’5 kid thinks he can rule sebastian for some odd reason

the house is always dirty bc him and sebastian always prank each other

your daughter is trying to catch a butterfly but she can’t so fred helps

instantly loves fred

“is that what heartbreak is”

“i guess that’s what happens when you try to get close to my kids colonel”

albert is kind of afraid of turning into his dad but he has you and everyone else to remind him that: no you are not your father, you are so much better than him

loves your family with his entire being

sebastian: 844 words

“i see you looking at those kids and the answer is none”

lmao you’ll get so pouty around him bc you want kids dammit

that and he spoils you to no end so that's why you’re pouty lol

“fine we’ll only do one kid and bc one kid is all i can tolerate”

bruh

this man gives you three in four years LMFAO

two boys a year apart and a girl in the fourth year

you wanted to smack sebastian

when the two boys grew up, it was obvious they were already taking after their father in the physical sense

it was terrifying

they genuinely look like mini sebastians and you know everyone in the manor is afraid that you two birthed satan

and the satan was your eldest one

he’s just a feral sebastian moran in a tiny body

your second son, god bless him, looked just like his father but with fred’s temperament

and see, you were fine with your sons looking like their father

it was FINE right

you prayed to God that your third child would have at least some physical resemblance to you

your daughter was birthed, she grew up

and you cried

“HOW DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE YOU”

“i’ve got some strong genetics, baby”

you sulk for a lil bit

but you accept it anyway because you love your goddamn kids

thankfully, your second and youngest child are both soft spoken and it's only your husband and his tiny clone bringing hell to earth

smacking sebastian bc all of your children suddenly started swearing up a storm at each other

“WHYD YOU HIT ME”

“YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO SWEARS AROUND THE KIDS”

finally sitting down and trying to convince them to stop swearing

“father does it!”

“your father’s stupid”

speaking of your daughter

she’s his little princess and no he will not take criticism

spoils her more than he spoils you

did she glance at a toy at a passing store?

he buys more toys than he should from said store

you have to physically hide some of his money bc there is only so much you can buy

and her older brothers are so caring you want to sob

if a person accidentally shoved her over bc she was tiny and they couldn’t see her

oh boy

get ready to restrain them like chihuahuas

“little sister will be protected at all costs”

since his second son is so different from him, sebastian actively makes time to talk about what the little boy is doing and what he’s getting from it

doesn’t want to be pushy and suffocating like his dad was so when his younger kid does want to be left alone to his devices, sebastian does so

but honestly loves that your second son is so literate

lddhsajdsfk what yall dont know is that they’re all in cahoots

kinda funny to see them all together bc they all take after their father so much it's like having three tiny sebastians go around town

anyways,,,, yall know the promised neverland right

you got ray, norman, and emma

granted one of them wasn’t as smart as ray but he definitely knew what stealth was

regular sibling rivalry was still a thing but if they could smell the pudding from the kitchen, they know they have to work together

sebastian caught his eldest smuggling biscuits into a small bag

he had half a mind to scold him

but then he ended up giving tips TO ALL HIS CHILDREN on how not to get caught next time—

bc of this they beg him to tell them some stories from afghanistan bc “there’s no way a man as old as dad knows this many stealth tactics”

louis is so fed up lmao

albert is in london most of the time so he just thanks the lord that he doesn’t have to deal w the propaganda that sebastian feeds his children about how “mr. albert is a bad man”

william is fine w it as long as they don’t trash the library

your younger ones love the library so they would cry at the thought of one of the books losing any of the pages

your second and your daughter are definitely the moriartys’ favorites

they don’t show it, but you just KNOW

your eldest could care less about that though

as long as you and his father still love him

and of course you both do

and fred is definitely your youngers favorite

they like to hang out in the garden

ok they still fight all the time though

just because your second child is soft spoken doesn't mean he’s afraid to throw hands

their sister likes to join in for the hell of it

but if someone wrongs any of the children

just because the younger ones are the moriartys’ favorite, doesn’t mean that they’re not gonna hunt someone down if they even think about trying to hurt the eldest too

yeah,,, good luck to them and their families

they got the entire moriarty estate coming after them

fred: 241 words

cmon yall are like,, young

but you did ask him bc you were curious if he thought about it

he wants one

and when yall do have the kid, you guys actually do have one kid and its a girl

since you both are young, you can immediately see a resemblance between her and her father

everyone who meets her would die for her

ABSOLUTE CUTIE

especially when she walks around the garden w her hand in her dad’s and he’s showing her all the plants and telling her how to take care of them

needless to say she grows up loving plants

any type of plant

the boys love giving her flowers or anything from bc she has the biggest smile every single time

no matter if it’s just a single rose or a rock

this was found out one time when sebastian gave her a rock bc everyone else had given her like,, two roses each

was afraid she was gonna cry

“thank you so much mr. moran! i will treasure this until i get old!”

she was like 4 at the time

and had the widest smile you’ve ever seen on her

guys u don’t understand she smiles a lot but this was like,, genuine happiness

but everyone was just,, i will destroy the world and myself if anything happens to her

fr it’s just sunshines and rainbows every single time she’s around

everyone just loves her ok

moriarty the patriot general taglist: @zoehanji

[angelsaxis]

the longer im on twitter the more i value what little privacy i can build for myself on here, all the things i can do to put distance between myself and potential problems (people who live to fight and cause strife). i just saw a tweet from someone who was complaining that twitter lets anyone see both your likes and the comments you leave on other tweets (the second one im a bit confused about regarding a potential alternate function, but I get the spirit)

who you're following, who's following you--public. the number of followers you have is used as a valid argumentation point. your following/follower ratio ive also seen used as a valid argumentation point. you can limit comments, but not retweets or quote reteweets. twitter kind of exists in an extreme of either haing everything public or having to make an entirely new account where everything is private (and ppl will still screenshot and spread what you post if they really want to)

i like being able to turn off reblogs. i like that my likes aren't out (there's nothing insidious in there lol, but still). i like that i can choose to expose/hide who im following. i like that people can't use my (unknown) number of followers to arbitrarily determine whether what im saying is of any particular import. I can turn off DMs, reblogs, asks, and replies for my blog. hell, I can even make private posts on my public blog, although I've never tried it. password protected blogs. tumblr lets you just hide your entire blog from google searches and the main site search (without necessarily having to flag ur blog as nsfw).

sometimes the inability to search a blog 99% of the time is a blessing. people dont let things die. they dont care if you've clearly got one set of values now, they assume that that means nothing in face of you being 15 and stupid. or just having been a worse person but a better one now. every action is scrutinized.

this post is long so ill stop here but goddamn, not to sound like an old person but i want peace and i want quiet and i want privacy.

[idontblushsrry]

Itadori Yuuji Boyfriend Headcanons

A/N: Reader is from America and a black female. Idk why i decided to write this but I think that Yuuji would be a fun boyfriend lmao. I don’t entirely know what the reader’s cursed technique should be so lmk if you have any ideas. Until then enjoy Yuuji and reader being 2 idiots in love. Spoilers for all the eps of jujutsu kaisen up to about episode 11, nothing past that though as I want to finish the show first before reading the manga, so please be respectful of spoilers and label them (and tag if necessary) in the comments. Also srry if this cuts off abruptly bcus of the point the show is at. This is also like, all over the place but whatever.

(also sorry this was posted later than usual oops)

Word Count:  1943

This dork-

He is so sweet and kind and considerate 

But also a dumbass but also like he’s your dumbass

You and Yuuji are both equally stupid like bless yalls hearts

You and Yuuji met during his time at the Tokyo Academy when you transferred from America

The moment this man saw you walk up with Gojo-sensei he was smitten

Like your skin was glowing??? how???

And you had a slight accent but like he loved it too

And when you came up to greet him and shake hands you smelled so good and your skin was so soft

((He would later come to find out that the root of that was the shea cocoa butter lotion you used))

But yea mans was smitten and he is fully in love with you lmao

Will do literally anything you ask

You hungry? He’s prepared a 5 course, michelin star meal

Want new clothes? He’s been training for the day he could hold your bags for you

Ran out of hair products?? He’s already back with a special box of your products that he had imported from America

To this day you don’t know how he was able to get those products so quickly

He is loves when you tell him things about you from your day, to your times in america, to how your cursed energy works

Yall are the couple that does stupid shit together

Like one time you showed Yuuji one of those life hack videos and he was like 

“We should totally do that” 

And you were like “Bet”

Needless to say Fushiguro was very confused at the sight of bandaids on both of your fingers the next morning

“???What happened?”

“Well you see, I told Yuuji that I should use the glue gun because he didn’t even know where to put the glue stick. And he said nah, I got it and um yea so I fell and the glue gun was plugged in and then he tripped over me and so now we look like this.”

Gojo and Kugisaki thought that this was hilarious while Fushiguro decided that he’d store your guys’ glue gun in his shadows from now on

How yall manage to get through missions you go on together alive is a miracle

Speaking of missions, you eventually ask Yuuji what’s his deal because you feel a powerful aura coming from him but he never uses cursed energy, always cursed weapons

Cue Sukuna’s mouth popping up on the side of his face like “Hey mamas”

(You can’t tell me that Sukuna isn’t the type of guy to ask where his hug at)

“YUUJI WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!”

“Oh, I guess you haven’t met Sukuna yet, huh?”

So he sits you down and explains how he ate Sukuna’s finger and you're sitting there like ‘mhm mhm mhm, sorry you what?’

For like 3 days after he told you that you couldn’t bring yourself to kiss him just because you were processing the fact that Yuuji ate someone’s nasty old ass finger and would have to eat 19 more

And the fact that he’s the vessel of like the worst curse known to man 

During those 3 days, Yuuji’s pouting because he’s like ‘I fucked up, now she doesn’t wanna kiss me let alone talk to me because of this monster inside of me :(’

Meanwhile you’re just like ‘why would anyone eat some random mummified finger?’

Eventually you get wind of Yuuji’s bad mood and immediately, you rush to smooth things over with him.

You knock on his door and hear blankets rustling before he goes, “I’m not in the mood to play fight right now Kugisaki’

“Can I come in baby?”

You immediately hear the most comical almost cartoonish amount of noise ranging from a cup falling over, sheets falling off the bed, and what sounds like Yuuji falling flat on his ass before he opens the door

When he does, you’re laughing and it’s like the sky is no longer grey and the world is filled with color

You smile at each other before your moment is interrupted with Sukuna going “Finally, full offense, his whining was getting annoying”

You step inside his room and apologize for ignoring him, explaining that you just needed time to process things, explaining that you should’ve told him that before dipping

He just grabbed you in a bear hug and lifted you of the ground and spinning you around laughing happily, after all he wasn’t even upset with you, he just missed you

And thus begins the honeymoon phase of your guys’ relationship

Fushiguro is actually really happy for you guys and is the most supportive of your relationship but if anyone asked him to admit that out loud he’d actually apparate to the nearest marooned ship

Nobura doesn’t hate you guys but she thinks all couples are disgusting, so while it’s nothing personal, she does gag when you and Yuuji do so much as make goo goo eyes at each other

Gojo is actually like the main cheerleader of your relationship. 

He is the teacher that changes the seating chart to put students he ships together

He was always pairing you and Yuuji up on missions and placing you as sparring partners like ur not slick

If Gojo is the cheerleader, Sukuna is an actual antagonist

Like the man goes out of his way to CHOOSE violence

Like on time you kissed Yuuji’s cheek on a date and when you pulled back, your lip was bleeding and Sukuna’s mouth was smirking at you

Another thing he likes to do is tell you all of Yuuji’s simp^tm thoughts

Like all of them

Now Yuuji isn’t ashamed of how much he loves you and is in fact very open with it, but he doesn’t need Sukuna telling you that the only reason he bought x mouthwash was because it made your breath smell like “sunshine” and he had to see if it would work on him

Speaking of dates, good luck

Now I stand by the fact that Yuuji would never half-ass a date and things with him are certainly never boring

But he’s also like a country boy in the city and his tourist tendencies tend to get the best of him

Like you’ll be trying to find a spot to eat and when you look back Yuuji’s gone

((Prolly to buy another I <3 Tokyo shirt so you can both match))

He always catches up with you ad you eventually learn that but like the first few times be havin you ready to put up a lost child signal on the loudspeaker

He’s very sweet and this is where his thoughtfulness shines through

You and Yuuji plan dates in the same way one plays bingo

Like because you never know where you’re going to be r when exactly you’ll both be free (especially with Gojo-sensei and his bare minimum ass information) you two tend to go ‘ok well if we’re here we’ll go here and if we’re here, we’ll go here’ and so on and so forth

But Yuuji always remembers such little one-off details about you that make your dates.

Like you mention wanting to try a sushi train and he’s already scrolled through multiple yelp reviews and watched every youtube restaurant review like 9 times

But every high has a low and Yuuji and your’s low comes suddenly and it brings you crashing to the ground with no warning and nothing to slow your descent

When your class of first years were sent to exorcise the special grade cursed womb

When Yuuji’s hand got blown off and he told you to run you froze, your mind racing faster than your legs could even start

“(Y/N) RUN!” Yuuji’s voice broke you out of your fear-based trance

“I- I...can’t...I can’t leave you!” you cried out all your rational senses screamed at you to go, run, he had Sukuna and you were barely a grade 2 sorcerer. But your intuition told you if you left him you wouldn’t see him alive again.

You were trapped in a paralysis of indecision but the choice was made for you when a sticky tongue wrapped around your midriff and you were gulped into the mouth of one of Fushiguro’s frogs

“Goddamn it Fushiguro! Let me go! I need to... save... him.” You were outside the building before you could even finish arguing.

You glared up at Fushiguro but your eyes softened some when you saw how beat up Kugisaki looked.

He gave you this look that said he did what he had to do and he didn’t care what you had to say about it 

You and him waited in the rain for Yuuji or Sukuna to exit the building

You tried to focus yourself and save your negative emotions for your cursed attack

When Sukuna inevitably appeared, one finger stronger, you were fully prepared to fight him

However, he didn’t seem interested in fighting you and more engaged in fighting with Megumi

You tried to urge Fushiguro to wait it out, eventually Sukuna would lose control, but when Sukuna took Yuuji’s heart hostage, you both knew you’d have to fight

You and Fushiguro gave it your all but when Yuuji came back he still died 

It took all your strength to not completely fall apart after his death and the support from the second years as well as Kugisaki and Fushiguro helped

You’d tried to visit him at the morgue but Shoko only told you that she didn’t think it’d be a good idea.

You still slept in his sweaters and the things that smelled like him from time to time, trying to make the idea of him last, but after a month, the smell of him had started to fade

Everything about Yuuji’s memory seemed to become leached away with time, from his smell, to the wear present on things he’d given to you

You couldn’t help but feel resentful towards yourself but also to Sukuna, he’d taken Yuuji from you with the same care that one would throw litter on the ground

The pain in your chest didn’t wane either, it only became ignorable to a degree as training for the exchange with the Kyoto students became more intense

Fushiguro is a comfort to you as well, aside from you, him and Yuuji were the closest to each other and so he gets a lot of what you’re going through and doesn’t push when you become more withdrawn

He also lets you pet his demon dog too but when you ask him why he’s letting you pet it he just says ‘because no one would believe you if you told them’ lies

The bastard really just does it because he knows you’re sad and he doesn’t want you to be sad

Speaking of the Kyoto students, Zenin Mai and Toudou Aoi are permanently on your shit list

You’re relieved that Panda, Maki, and Inumaki came to your guys’ aid but like if you had your way Mai wouldn’t even exist

Anyways Maki has Panda physically restrain you while she tries to calm you down 

“(Y/N), you can kick her ass at the exchange!”

When you calm down, Panda puts you down and even though Mai’s long gone with Todou to go get his handshake, you make a promise that carries through the wind

‘Zenin Mai, pray that the next time you run across me I’m feeling kind, because if not-’, the last word is lost as the wind picks up but Mai feels a shiver rack through her body that more than ensures your message.