#ur joking...
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bro i thought this series was like 4-5 books tops wtf is THIS
#shit self#ur joking...#guys tell me which ones i should read i have the first 3 now and obvs ill read the vampire armand#what else besides that#probably memnoch the devil too bc ive heard about her a lot but#yeah#help#i cant even finish thg series i will never read all of this
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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smoking with my ex's cat because he's chill like that
#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#the admiral#this is a joke drawing don't give ur cats cigarettes obviously
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Kids have it so right. Be weird without shame and cry about anything that so much as dares to inconvenience you
#I’m not even joking#My last layer of delusion is getting envious looking at kids playing outside today#There is NOTHING going through that diminutive head of urs. And I love that
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people on here interacting with neil gaiman is so. ur like this cannot possibly a real human being off anon!!! sitting down typing out an ask like that knowing the creator of the work will see it. and then ur like well dont be an asshole maybe it's just a 14 year old engaging in fandom for the first time! but then u click on the blog to see its a 35 year old actual real adult who went hello mister GAYman (hihihaha) thank u so much for making my coffeeshop au background relationship / rarepair endgame / slow burn true love sunshine sunshine protector dynamics of my dreams come true! u really had crowley say SMUT 👍🥳🤣🙌 but why was there conflict :/sometimes people argued and???? was that really necessary??? pls tell me rn that this is in fact a happy ending fic scenario otherwise I will have to kill myself immediately in exceedingly violent fashion and it will be ur fault (if michael sheen and david tennant don't kiss again in s3 u will feel my wrath. i know ur home address) anyways. are u aware of the omegaverse trope 😜 just blink twice if that is something we can look forward to in s3 😝😂🤭 also crowley wore different clothes during different episodes?? is that a continuity error?? or will that be explained in s3?
#good omens#txt.me#like. DIE. also i think u should all delete ao3 immediately no joke#viewing media thru this wrapped lense of fanfic exclusively is not good for ur brains fr#10k+
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bruh remember when they made one of the most beautiful love stories to ever exist and it was on the cw's supernatural...
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this image has been stuck in my head for days now
#doctor who#dw#twelfth doctor#clara oswald#twelveclara#my art#my beloved friend james put up with many raven flavoured vape jokes on our london trip#was gonna do motoe art i fear this is all ur getting
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staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%
grace image os i get to look at her
#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the#first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post#for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !!#bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny#EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically#also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am#anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things#also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode#i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep#and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves#also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc#id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever#it wld b fun !!!#oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically#a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday#ya !! :3#flappy rambles#inaccessible#ask to tag#(<- idk. just in case)
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Dan and Phil's TIT tour × Troye Sivan on SWEAT tour
2024, year of youtube twinks simulating gay sex on stage
bonus:
#photos not mine#this is a joke#but also not because why am i spending my hard earned cash to watch these men have sex on stage being an adult is so funny#also if someone wants to make a sister daniel one of ur girls edit plssss im begging u (or link if its already been done)#phan#dnp#tit spoilers#titspoilers#tit tour#dan and phil#terrible influence tour#dont want to put this in troye's tag or sweat tour tag tbh lol#amazingphil#daniel howell#phil lester
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RESIDENT EVIL BODY TYPES THE SEQUEL!
part one...!
#first day of the new year and im drawing shirtless men#ethan winters#karl heisenberg#leon kennedy#mia winters#THIS IS NO JOKE THE BEST MIA IVE EVER DRAWN#I COULDNT STO TELLING MY FRIENDS ABOUT HER#HEY GIRL...#i love u mia#i spent 15 minutes trying to draw ur nose and id do it all again#resident evil#resident evil fanart#rebhfun#resident evil village#resident evil 8#re8#i drew all of these using references of my own body#but im a 5'2 100 pound lanky asian girl#so i did have some trouble drawing karl#it bothers me when people draw leon as some slim tiny little baby#have u seen pictures of him#his bicep is literally the size of his head its almost absurd#GIVING EVERYONE FAT ROLLS BECAUSE I CAN!#THEY R ALL WELL FED AND HAPPY AND WARM AND CONTENT WITH LIFE!#dad bod ethan!!!!!#ethans body type is probably the hardest to draw accurately#because there isnt any really good refernce for him becuase he wears like THREE LAYERS#ethan is actually pretty thin in re7#but idganarf 3 years have passed and he had a kid he has a dad bod now its true#he has muscle defiently though i dont think hes as musclely like leon or chris that would be insane
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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peanut butter and jellyfish
contents ౨ৎ ⋆ h. shinsou x fem reader. 5k words — fluff. cursing. comforting insecurities. friends to secret lovers.
⭑ shenanigans with your not-so-secret boyfriend ft. sleepovers with eri, a cat eating pizza on you at 3am, your classmates being nosy, and an aquarium date.
note: your quirk is forensic sight! so ur gc name is the way it is bc ur eyes lol get it
You choke back a laugh as a very focused Eri puts yet another sticker on Hitoshi’s face.
Snacks and pillows are strewn around the inside of the blanket fort the three of you finished building moments before. Stiller than a rock, your calm best friend sits there cross-legged so that Eri can give him a makeover of unicorns, stars, and rainbows.
“Do you think he looks pretty yet?” Eri tilts her head at you.
“Like a real-life princess.” You giggle. “Good job, Eri!”
“Yay!” She happily high fives the hand you hold up for her. “Do you feel pretty yet, Hito-nii?”
“I feel so bonita.” Hitoshi deadpans, sending you two into another fit of giggles.
“You were pretty already, Toshi,” you coo, rubbing a thumb over the sticker of a cat making sushi on his cheekbone. Mr. Aizawa must have bought that one for her.
Hitoshi pretends to shyly gaze at you from under his long lashes. “Aw, really?”
His lips curve into a lazy smile, and a heat that you’re all too familiar with rises up your neck, you turn away–a little too quickly, to Hitoshi’s amusement.
“Nevermind you’re ugly.”
He laughs and the heat creeps up to your cheeks.
Such a simple sound, yet that soft, husky voice of his always manages to make your insides a mushy mess, even when you had painfully tripped over his cat, Celery, when he transferred and first moved into the dorms with your class.
The normally stoic, reserved purple-haired boy had doubled over with an uncontrollable wheeze, supporting himself on the sofa as your groaning self was sprawled across the floor.
God, they were lucky they were both cute.
Yet, you couldn’t help but smile as he reached a hand out to help you up, the other still covering his mouth.
That was the first time you made him laugh, and now, you’ve heard it so many times that you could finally stop counting on both your hands’ fingers but you still wanted more.
“Want me to paint your nails, Eri?” You ask, scooting over to your bedroom’s drawer.
You open it, your own light blue nails painted a color that reminds you of the sea against the pastel pink of the treasure box you take out. It had a heart-shaped diamond on the latch.
The heavy box was filled with a collection of nail polish the girls in your class usually used for their sleepovers as well, and new bottles, mostly varying shades of apple red, started mysteriously appearing the day after Eri said she had never gotten painted her nails before.
“Yes!” Eri’s eyes sparkle. “Can I please have matchy nails with Hito-nii?”
“Of course, sweetie.” You smile. She was adorable.
Hitoshi rubs the back of his neck. “You sure you want yours black this time, Eri?”
“Yes!” She huffs stubbornly. “Like dad’s clothes and those things under your eyes!”
“Hey!” He protests. She shares a mischievous look with you and you both giggle, catching the pillow Hitoshi gently throws at you.
“Oreo wouldn’t treat me like this.” Hitoshi reaches out to ruffle Eri’s hair and she squeals in protest, batting his hand away.
Eri holds up the oversized panda plushie he was talking about. It was comically bigger than her, and you had to bite back a laugh.
The moment you two spotted it in the claw machine outside Shinsou’s favorite cat cafe near campus, you knew you had to win it to add to her ever growing collection of stuffed animals.
With a grin, you remember the huge sigh of relief Shinsou let out when it finally fell into the chute.
“Duh he wouldn’t ‘cause you’re his twin!”
Hitoshi mock gasps. “Take that back.” And tickles her neck, barely dodging as you throw the pillow he threw earlier back at him.
“Woah!”
Except much, much harder.
“Don’t worry Eri, I'll protect you!” You grab another nearby pillow and throw it at him, which he easily catches in mid-air with one hand like it was a frisbee.
“Aw.” You pout. Mr. Aizawa was training him a little too good now.
Eri pats your arm to console you. “It’s okay I appre-shee—apree-shee—“
“Appreciate?” You offer, and her face brightens as she nods.
“Appree-shee-ate. You. For trying.” She finishes shyly.
“Aw, thank you Eri. I appreciate you too.”
Hitoshi’s eyes soften at the sight of you two.
“What about me?”
You scowl. “You can go duck yourself, Toshi.”
“Love you too.”
Eri suddenly gasps.
“Dad says that to Uncle Zashi too!”
Despite already knowing the answer, Hitoshi and you turn to look at her suspiciously.
“…Which one?”
As if he knows you’re talking about him, Aizawa yells down the hallway.
“Eri, brats, pizza’s here!”
─────────
“Can I have another hug?” Hitoshi asks coyly after class one day.
The bell had just rung, and you roll your eyes at his leaning form on the wall of the almost empty hallway.
Everyone was leaving for lunch.
Except you two, but that was Hitoshi’s fault.
“I just gave you one!”
“Oh no.” He places a dramatic palm to his forehead. “I think I’m going to pass out because of someone if I don’t get a hug in the next five seconds.”
“Greedy ass.” You sigh, wrapping your arms around his waist.
He hides a grin, shuffling closer to close the gap between your bodies.
Hitoshi smells like fresh linen with hints of sunshine, probably from his daily bike ride he took around campus before class started, and the coffee he brewed this morning.
A sense of comfort settles into your bones as the familiar scent envelopes you, and you breathe it in.
He softly tucks your head under his chin as you nuzzle your face deeper into his chest, your headache from taking the quiz in Ectoplasm’s class earlier now long gone.
“Did you know that when cats see that it's raining outside a window, they go to another window in the same room to check if it's still raining outside?” Hitoshi randomly whispers.
“I did not know that.” You giggle. His lips feel ticklish on your hair. “Does Celery do that too?”
“All the time.” Hitoshi grins. “I have a video from yesterday’s storm, I’ll show you in the cafeteria.”
“Ooh okay!”
He straightens, and takes your hand, your fingers easily lacing through his as you both start to head in the direction of the dining hall.
When you trip over nothing, he snorts, already expecting it, and catches your waist before you take a fall that will be difficult for your ego and your knees to recover from.
“Careful,” he says as you clutch onto his school uniform in relief, and you swear that already deep, smooth voice of his drops an octave on purpose, almost sending you to the ground again.
Hitoshi’s thumb is still tracing small circles on the back of your hand as the both of you join the line for the traditional school lunch. You could try a different cuisine tomorrow. On today’s menu was miso seaweed soup with a side of grilled fish and a milk bread roll along with, of course, rice.
You feel a vibration on the side of your leg, and for the umpteenth time this school year you thank UA for adding pockets to the school uniform’s skirts as you slip your phone out. The jellyfish charm Hitoshi got for your birthday last year dangles from your case.
Surprise, surprise, it’s the class group chat.
-forklift uncertified -
it’s barbie bitch
guysss guess what i sawwww
invisi-girl
IS IT TODOROKI IN A PINK TUTU
pikachew
girl what
invisi-girl
u guys don’t get the vision
i saw it in a dream last night
the rock
nah i get it dude
that would be so manly
ice spice
I would not be completely opposed to the idea
invisi-girl
SEE
it’s barbie bitch
it’s even better >_<
it’s barbie bitch
hitoshituckingyourhair
behindearwithasoftsmile.png
mochi cheeks
OHMYGOD!?1?2?2
SOCUTEEEEETES
airpods with wires
i saw that
airpods with wires
can yall not flirt before lunch
next time i’m gonna throw
up before i get to eat
sue you
AWWWW OUR LITTLE BABYS ALL GROWN UP
forensic balls [you]
FUCK U GUYS IM 17
yaomomo
exactly
a Baby :)
forensic balls [you]
yaoyao ur supposed
to be on my side </3
yaomomo
sorry my love i cannot
deny the facts </3
pikachew
Nahhh only shinsou can call her that guys ;))))
airpods with wires
wah wah wah
forensic balls [you]
one more word and i’m gonna change the gc name to fornite jiggle physics
sue you
NO
yaomomo
No thank you
my chemical romance
what a mad banquet of darkness
it’s barbie bitch
babe look me in the
eyes this isn’t like you
forensic balls [you]
try me.
pikachew
DO ITTTTTTT
forensic balls [you]
ok just bc u told me to
i won’t now
scotch tape
dayum rip denks
forensic balls [you]
also not my fault u guys
have early ass birthdays smh
shirt guy
Senior citizen core fr
forensic balls [you]
ily midoriya
shirt guy
ilyt pookie xx
kazoo-ki
Girl u aint slick
shirt guy
You’re so late omg
pikachew
bro has us on mute
kazoo-ki
shut up dunce face
kazoo-ki
How tf do I change my name
mochi cheeks
LMFAO
wiki-how
Bakugo it is fairly simple.
wiki-how
First you click on your profile, then your personal settings.
wiki-how
From there you press “Change Display Name” and you should be able to enter your name of preference.
kazoo-ki
K
better than you
Thanks glasses ig
wiki-how
You are very welcome.
kiri the rock
nice one dude!
sue you
wow egotistical much
better than you
You wish yours was as big as mine
pikachew
that’s what he said
it’s barbie bitch
omg it just hit me
it’s barbie bitch
the first person to
finally get bitches in our class
it’s barbie bitch
i’m so happy i could cry
pikachew
I GET BITCHES
sue you
yeah over the screen
we're talking irl
pikachew
leave me and my otome games alone
forensic balls [you]
real
forensic balls [you]
AND IM NOT DATING HITOSHI
it’s barbie bitch
HITOSHI????????
airpods with wires
first name basis is crazy
forensic balls [you]
fuck i mean *shinsou
scotch tape
y’all smell that
the rock
peeeyew
pikachew
smells like sum bullshiiii
kazoo-ki
Could’ve fooled me
yaomomo
You aren’t??? :(
yaomomo
But I wrote a reminder to wish
you two happy anniversary and
even bought tea to celebrate!
forensic balls [you]
….for what date
yaomomo
April 1st :(
forensic balls [you]
………………
airpods with wires
@ it’s barbie bitch we can see u
across the cafeteria u are BAWLING
eyebags
what the fuck
Hitoshi bites back a laugh as your widened eyes meet his, glancing up from your phone.
“Not dating, huh?” He grins.
You groan and pinch his arm. “I panicked okay! I didn’t know what to tell them.”
“Hmm, do you want me to?”
“I mean, only if you want to.” You shyly play with his fingers.
“I kind of like us being a secret from them for a little longer. It feels… nice.”
Hitoshi smiles. “I know what you mean.” He wrinkles his nose. “Though they’re so nosy it looks like they figured it out already.”
“Pffft, yeah.” Mina could definitely sniff out a relationship from miles away, no matter how much PDA you tried to sneakily do in empty hallways.
Hitoshi squeezes your hand in reassurance.
“I like it too.” He leans over, and your eyes are forced to meet the dark violet of his.
The side of Hitoshi’s soft-looking lips, courtesy of the strawberry chapstick he stole from you before class this morning, quirk up as he looks down at you with soft eyes, the ones he reserves for you and random cats he sees on the road.
“Chapstick thief,” you mutter.
“Oh, you want it back?” Hitoshi grins. “Kiss it off me then.”
Your cheeks grown warm. “Not here!”
“Good,” He smirks.
“I prefer keeping you all to myself, anyway.”
─────────
“What’s wrong?”
He’s crouching down so that your eyes have no choice but to meet his from your spot on the bean bag.
He gently pushes the switch in your hands down to your lap and pokes your thigh. You squirm away ticklishly.
“Tell me.”
“No.” You huff, picking your switch back up. “I just wanna play Stardew, leave me alone.”
“Darling.”
Your face flushes at the pet name, and he smirks. His secret weapon still works without fail. Hitoshi didn’t even need to activate his quirk to have you under his thumb.
“You’re not going to feel better if you keep it in. Tell me what’s wrong.”
His nails are still pink, you faintly notice, trying to distract yourself from your very attractive, very insistent boyfriend in front of you with his comforting hands placed on your thighs.
You painted his left hand, and Eri painted his right at the last sleepover you had together. She had insisted that he should match nails with her this time, since she matched with him last week.
It was already terrible and impressive that Hitoshi was a people-reader, even worse that he knew what to do to make you fold so easily and open up.
Curse you Hitoshi, you and your disposition for healthy communication.
You should have never recommended that therapist to him.
“I don’t know,” you finally mumble. He tilts his head, showing you that he’s listening.
“I just feel like I don’t deserve it.”
“Deserve what, sweetheart?” He asks. The softness in his voice is unbearable and what you've been bottling up for weeks finally spills out.
“I feel like I don’t deserve it when good things happen to me.”
Hitoshi blinks, then lets out a snort. Which turns into a full blown laugh coming from his chest.
You shove his face away and he falls on his butt, still chuckling.
“You’re making fun of me!” You say indignantly.
“Sorry, sorry, I just–” He coughs, and takes a breath to recollect himself.
“You say a lot of dumb shit and I think that's the worst thing I’ve heard you say.”
You pout. “I’m feeling very invalidated right now.” Hitoshi rolls his eyes, and his hands reclaim their spot on your skin, except this time he’s gently cupping your face in his hands.
He’s not used to comforting people, but you can see that he’s trying.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, and you inhale sharply. “You’re kind, you’re intelligent, and I see you try so hard everyday. You always do a good job when you set your sights on something. Why don’t you deserve good things?”
“I don’t know.” Your gaze is numbly pinned to the silver chain around his neck, the one with a little crescent moon on it that he wears everyday, not even taking it off when he goes to sleep. The one you gave to him.
“That’s okay.”
His thumbs caress your cheeks, and you think you can breathe a little easier.
“Let's think of it this way,” Hitoshi says, still cupping your cheeks, grounding you. “It’s not about whether you deserve it or not. Do you want it?”
You finally meet his eyes, and answer with a voice shakier than you’d like it to be.
“I do. I want good things for myself.”
“Atta girl,” Hitoshi says with a proud quirk of his lips.
You stare at him, your heart suspended in your chest, feeling better but still looking a bit unsure.
Hitoshi notices this from the way you start biting the inside of your cheek, and he leans his forehead against yours. You freeze.
He smells like fruit, like freshly washed blueberries and those ripe strawberries in the kitchen in the dorm’s fridge. “That’s more than enough. We can work from there.”
There’s still a worried furrow between your eyebrows.
“Come on, sweetheart. We can go to the aquarium you love this weekend.”
He smirks as you perk up at that, drinking up the rare, shy expression suddenly on your face again, and leans down to your ear.
“You’re so easy,” Hitoshi whispers.
You grumble, you could hear that stupid grin in his voice.
“Sorry, I can't hear you with your face in my chest.”
You raise your head to glare at him and his heart soars. There was his girl.
God, his smug face was starting to irritate you more and more. "I said that if you were my husband I'd poison your tea!"
“If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
─────────
-thot pockets -
it's barbie bitch
omg guess who i just saw
cuddling in front of the tv
it's barbie bitch
youwrappedlikeaburritoinhitoshisarms.png
dating allegation #1
MINA WTF DELETE THAT
dating allegation #1
WHY R U STALKING US
[dating allegation #2 saved an image]
dating allegation #1
BRO WHOS SIDE ARE YOU ON
dating allegation #1
PURPLE MINION LOOKING BITCH
dating allegation #2
ok forensic penis
dating allegation #2
who changed my user
pikachew
me
cuz u guys are NOT beating
them :laughcry::laughcry:
ice spice
I am just confused as to why
you two are sitting on each other
ice spice
When the rest of the couch
appears to be unoccupied
ice spice
Perhaps this is a new
procreation method?
mochi cheeks
TODORKIWHATHAHVDHSHA
pikachew
LMDFAOOOOOOOOO
ice spice
?
dating allegation #1
WHATTHEFUKC
the rock
never change bro
sue you
IACTAULKYLCANT BREATHE HELP
it’s barbie bitch
ME NEITEHHR
dating allegation #2
Whenever my eyebags get darker
dating allegation #2
Just know I blame it on all of you
─────────
“Celery?” You mutter, rubbing your bleary eyes. “What are you doing?”
“Mrow.” The cat continues eating the slice of… pizza? On your chest.
It looks like the one that you and Hitoshi ordered earlier after quizzing each other for Present Mic’s exam.
“I love you so much but I am so confused.”
You reach for your phone to text Hitoshi, your still-asleep hands fumbling a bit on the nightstand.
toshi <3 [12 hrs ago]
us
you [12 hrs ago]
literally us <3
toshi <3 [12 hrs ago]
want to order takeout and
watch ouran highschool after
we study for tmrws exam
you [12 hrs ago]
yes please omg
you [now – 03:24]
hey
can u explain why ur daughter
is eating pizza on my boobs
at 3am
toshi [03:30]
whar
?
toshi [03:31]
OHfMGOD
CELERU
Not even five minutes later, he’s knocking on the door to your room. You open it, and the sight of a very sleepy looking Hitoshi greets you. His already unruly bedhead is even messier than usual and you’re pretty sure he’s wearing his shirt backwards. Did he put it on before coming over?
Wait.
You blink, long and hard, banishing the thoughts of a groggy, very shirtless Hitoshi lying in his bed, with the light of his phone screen illuminating his handsome features as he replies to your text. Those four hours of sleep must finally be hitting you.
Hitoshi sees you blinking, and takes it as a sign you’re still in shock at the pizza monster in your lap.
He gives an awkward pat to your shoulder in reassurance.
“I think this is just how she shows affection.” Hitoshi stares down at Celery fondly.
The way you stroke her fur so softly makes his chest feel warm and tingly.
“Does she eat leftover pizza off your chest at three in the morning?”
“...No.”
“Hah. She said she likes me better. ” You smirk victoriously. “Isn’t that right sweetie?”
The calico cat purrs as you scratch her ears, a bit of tomato sauce under her chin. Hitoshi exaggeratedly puts his hand over his heart at this scene of betrayal.
“Seriously? Celery, I took you off those streets and raised you like I was the one pregnant with you for nine months.”
“Mrow.” She bumps her head against your hand.
“Pfft, give it up Toshi. It’s time for you to hand over the adoption papers.”
Hitoshi rubs the back of his neck. “Or we could just share custody.”
“What?” Your cheeks grow warm. “You want me to be her mom?”
“I mean you kind of already are. Look at her,” he says, eyes softening as he looks at the two of you.
Celery has her paw on your arm. After eating until her little tummy was full, she was already starting to doze off.
“She takes after me.”
You let out a derisive snort.
“Yeah you looked just like that after our binge marathon today too."
“Not in that way.”
He smirks at your confused reaction.
“Then what do you mean–”
At that moment, Celery decides it’s the perfect time to snuggle into your tank top, smearing what’s left of the pizza on her face all over it.
Hitoshi’s eyes widen. He laughs, covering his mouth.
You’ve never been so glad you chose to wear black to sleep.
─────────
“Trouble child, you’re here.”
“Hi Mr. Aizawa.” You roll your eyes. “When are you going to stop calling me that, it’s getting old.”
“When you stop getting into trouble.”
“Okay, that’s fair.”
“The kid’s almost ready.” He snorts. “About damn time. Been up since six.”
“He has?” Your eyes widen. “For what?”
Your teacher smirks. “Nerves. Isn’t this his, what, tenth time taking you out though?”
A flustered Hitoshi suddenly appears from behind him with a light pink dusting his cheeks and steers Aizawa back to the door. “O-okay dad that’s enough.”
He’s cutely dressed in a soft-looking grey cardigan over a white shirt and black wide-legged pants.
This had to be the most boyfriend he’s looked, ever, and he looked very boyfriend all of the time.
“Hitoshi?” You do a little twirl for him in your own outfit. “Fire or nah?”
He looks up from his phone, where he’s googling the bus route to the aquarium, except his eyes linger. Without skipping a beat, he responds.
“Fire.”
“Toshi, you’re staring.”
“Of course I’m staring.” He says it with a tone like 'what else would I be doing?'
You shyly fidget with the edge of your shorts. “Why?”
“Because you’re beautiful.”
Hitoshi reaches out a hand, like he hasn't just casually left you breathless, and his own eyes soften as he notices your starry-eyed look.
“Let’s go, you crybaby.”
“Damn. I was going to say you look handsome too, but I don’t remember being the one who sobbed my eyes out watching Your Name last night.”
The tips of his ears turn red.
“Shut up.”
“Was like our fifth rewatch too.”
“Shut up before I kiss you.”
"Is that a threat or a promise?"
"Both."
‧₊˚ 🐚 ✩ ₊˚ 🌊 ⊹ 𓇼
Hitoshi’s lips twitch as he sees your eyes light up at the sight of the sign pointing in the jellyfish exhibit’s direction. “You’re adorable.”
“Thanks.” You grin. “You’re slow.”
You take him by the arm, your brain faintly registering how muscular his bicep is despite holding it so many times, and drag him along.
In their tanks, the glow of the moon jellies fills the darkness in front of them as other visitors murmur around you two in awe. Blue light reflects off the water and through the glass, illuminating your boyfriend’s dreamy features and you can’t help but admire how pretty he looks.
Hitoshi turns from watching the jellyfish to face you, fingers now lacing through yours. You don’t look away.
A soft smile flickers across his face when he catches you staring at him.
“This reminds me of when we first met.”
You smile. You remember. He was the one Mina relentlessly teased you for staring at, which you completely denied at the time.
“Why’re you so thirsty?” You remember her whispering into your ear at the Sports Festival in your first year. The both of you were sitting in your class’s designated spots in the stands.
Your eyes had widened, scandalized.
“I am not!”
“Please. You’re totally staring at him.”
“Who?”
“Shinsou Hitoshi.” She grinned. “Cute, right?”
Of course she paid attention when they announced his name specifically.
You could never remember anyone’s, and she probably saw you looking at his picture for a little too long when it appeared on the Jumbotron’s screen, announcing that his match with Oijiro was about to begin.
“Not really,” you lied, a bad attempt at feigning disinterest.
Like your eyes hadn’t been trailing down his lean figure the moment his next match started.
Or noticing how attractive it was the way he casually folded his arms when he taunted Midoriya, or wondering in your mind if his perpetual bed-head was as soft as it looks.
Mina turned to you, smirking at your slightly dazed expression.
“Really? Then you wouldn’t mind if I told him you had some questions about his quirk and wanted to talk about it after this, riiight?”
“What?” You shake your head furiously. “I mean his quirk is really interesting but–ugh Mina, no!”
“For the plot!” She waggled her eyebrows.
You nudged her knee with a huff. “I’m breaking up with you.”
“Nooo, I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Mina eyed you cheekily. “I won’t call him over.”
“Oh thank god.”
“But only if you admit he’s your type.”
You groan. “Okay fine. I think he’s hot, happy?”
“Very.” Your best friend laughs, pure happiness indeed written all over her face. You can see the matchmaking gears already turning in her head. “I just know you too well, babe.”
You roll your eyes. “Sometimes I really wish you didn’t.”
“Come on, you guys would be so cute together though.” She sighs dreamily. “Forensic sight and mind-control? Plus you’re both hot as fuck? Talk about a power couple.”
“....I think I’m going to go sit with Yaomomo instead.”
Recalling the memory, you laugh. “I know, we kept accidentally making eye contact after your second match because our seats were right across from each other.”
“That awkward prolonged eye contact in the stands might’ve been how I started crushing on you.”
You smirk. “You had a crush on me? That's so embarrassing.”
“I know.” He rolls his eyes, softly tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “Worst decision of my life.”
You hold Hitoshi’s hand tighter as you step closer to his side to get a better view of the tank.
“Glad the feeling is mutual.”
You spot it before he does.
“Oh my god Toshi. We need to get this for Eri.”
He spins around from the collection of the aquarium’s official shirts for sale, a shirt with a print of a whale shark in his hands.
“Wha–oh my god.”
Hitoshi stares at the giant penguin plushie you’re holding in front of you.
It was bigger than you–no, bigger than him even.
“Not sure if it’s going to fit on the train home, but we’ll make it work.”
─────────
"Can you teach me how to draw a unicorn too, Eri?" Hitoshi asks.
You had already asked Eri before him seconds ago so you stick your tongue out at Hitoshi, mouthing ‘copycat,’ and he tilts his head down to quickly kiss your neck, making you giggle.
He still has a pink bow wrapped around his bicep from when you three played dress up an hour ago, and you fight the urge to laugh again at how silly he looks.
Eri is too focused on her drawings to care about either of you, and after she scribbles around a little more, she turns to face her older brother.
“Yeah!” She hands him a red crayon. “Okay, so first you draw half of a circle.”
Hitoshi follows Eri’s instructions.
He lifts his hand, which nearly covers the paper, to reveal a red ‘C’ that looks like it got run over by a truck.
“No, no not like that! Erase it.” She frowns disapprovingly, hands on her hips. “You’re really bad at this Hito-nii.”
“Please Eri-sensei. I'm trying my best.”
“Try harder!” She turns away with a huff, then peers over at your paper.
“Ooh yours looks so good!” Eri claps, and you smile proudly.
“It’s all thanks to you, Eri.” You reach out to fix her pigtail that was starting to slip out of the cat-patterned scrunchie, and she giggles, holding still for you.
Hitoshi grumbles. “This smells like favoritism.”
“That’s ‘cause your unicorn looks Celery’s poop!” Eri chirps. Then she runs away to the kitchen right before you double over in laughter at Hitoshi’s extremely offended face, clutching onto his broad shoulders for support.
“She said your drawing looks like shit!” You snort, and he groans.
Celery’s ears perk up in Hitoshi’s lap and she meows, looking in your direction. You hold out your arms. “Celery, you want uppies?”
She ignores them and decides to sit in your lap instead, purring softly.
“Mrow.”
“Yeah? And then what?” You coo, gently rubbing her fuzzy forehead, and her eyes close in contentment.
She mewls again, pawing at your sock and you laugh.
“Okay, okay I’ll tell him.”
Looking up at Hitoshi, he tilts his head the same way Celery does when you talk to her.
You bite back a laugh, you’re not sure who’s the cat in the room at this point.
“What did she say?” He asks you curiously.
All you do is blink slowly at him in response.
Hitoshi’s brows knit in confusion.
Then his eyes widen, a soft pink starting to color his cheeks.
Shyly, he slowly blinks back.
Suddenly, the gray-haired girl comes back from the kitchen, apples Aizawa sliced like rabbits for her on a plate in her hands.
You’re still slowly blinking at each other as she walks through the door.
Eri looks at the both of you weirdly.
“What are you two doing?”
“Mrow.”
teehee hitoshi’s the pb to ur jelly(fish) get it
#shinsou lovers pls find my acc i love u ur so sexy#i think it’s funny bc u like fish and hitoshi likes cats so he jokes abt eating u LOL#i wanted to give it like a shoujo-y skip and loafer kinda title :3#fellow shinsou enjoyers i hope u like it#hitoshi shinsou x reader#shinsou x reader#hitoshi shinso x reader#mha x reader#mha oneshot#shinsou fluff#mha fluff#bnha x reader#ALSO ik it's a very common hc but shinsou would not use lavender scented products bc they're toxic to cats!!! HE WOULDNT RISK IT#would also not use a diffuser for his sleep sorry bc the oils from it can harm cats and their fur :/#he just thugs it out and drinks chamomile tea or smth#takes a melatonin every night#stop the shinsou smells like lavender allegations#bffr he would hate lavender purely for the fact that it’s poisonous to cats#I think shinsou would enjoy bath and body works scents#tho
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also don't let ur friends/society/tumblr posts/whatever convince u to start smoking or drinking or whatever if u don't want to. there are health risks there are social and financial aspects to consider and it's totally fine and normal to not want to. there's no moral aspect to it you can drink and do drugs or whatever if u want and that's chill but u should know what ur doing and do research and if u decide u dont want to that's chill and anyone who tries to shame u for it can go fuck themselves
#text#DORRY FOR ALL THE POSTING THIS MORNING this isnt even super related ifve just been thinking abt it a lot#bc the new thing is posting about how smoking is hot. Dont start smoking kids. genuinely#u r GOING to fuck up ur life and ur health and ur lungs and ur bank account probably. dont start smoking#like all jokes aside. do not. or at least know the risks and know what ur getting into#u r not immune to addiction u r not immune to health risks u r not immune to additional financial strain
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HD remaster of this drawing from my re8 zine
#re8#resident evil village#its lame to laugh at ur own jokes but whenever i make eye contact w the second one...#hes just no thoughts head empty look at him#i cant cope
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i only like couples where they are both just losers. like absolutely pathetically embarrassing. they are sooo lucky they found each other bc everyone else on the planet would rather be shot than be shackled to either of them
#GUYS THIS IS A JOKE PLS. THIS IS NOT AN INSULT TO UR FAVS!!! IM CALLING THEM PATHETIC AS IN PATHETICALLY IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER#mizuena#lumity#bumbleby#andreil#hannigram#mocaran#soukoku#akitoya#ruikasa#jjpope#vanoe#buddie#gureshin#mitsunoa#mitsukou#style sp#creek sp#reddie#destiel#renga#iwaoi#akiangel#kit x ty#percabeth#solangelo#judecardan#bokuaka#zukka
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