#ur first yaoi never leaves u

[veemercury]

Crazy how even 5 years after i initially got into it klance fanart never ceases to make me squeal and kick my feet in delight

[rmgkyle]

Omg sorry I’m SO late I was busy doing all the FANART for people and with work which made me really tired and sick. Yes, I’m really sick, my asthma is getting worse and my head has been hurting.

But I’m making this post for Christmas special for people I enjoy talking to/ hanging out with.

First is @smg-24

Man…you make so many art of RMG which I really appreciate by the way because you drew her A LOT, and that’s not all..I really enjoy ur company and helped me with stuff I was struggling with. You put a smile on my face every time I see you online or whenever we are on call. I love our friendship so much I never regret meeting you at all tbh, you make my day so much better because of ur personality and being around you makes everything better . I hope we stay best friends forever.🫶🏻💗

Next up is @mikchi8

Mikchi. How do I even start-

You are really funny in general and have good jokes, it makes me laugh every time. And also, you just are interesting too..I MEAN like you crazy and all but you still are a good person. Whenever I see u in the vc’s I join because you light up my mood, even when ur only in there. I like the way u act and I like ur style with ur ocs, it very classy and adorable.Im so glad I met you because you’re the most I talk to in the server. Your friendship has brought so much joy and positivity into my life.🫶🏻💗

Then is @knightedmares

Bro..YOU ARE SO FREAKIN COOL AND AWESOME I LOVE U MAN. I really adore you a lot and you are just WAY too cool in general.You are an amazing friend and buddy, like I literally want to be you so bad. You have good taste in music and fashion on your ocs.KNIGHTMARE I wish I could give u a big tight hug for being an awesome person to everyone, including me also.You should honestly be proud of yourself for being a chill dude. I love you man🫶🏻💗

Other is @neo91502

Hahaha…YOU..YOU SILLY SILLY LITTLE CREATURE..First, I just want to say that your yapping in the vc’s are like music to my ears, you yap about anything which is impressive if I’m going to be honest. In general, you make silly art of the silly meme Guardians and yaoi, makes me smile every time I see them.Jokes are funnier when YOU tell them because you’re just silly crazy, possibly insane.Literally everyone loves you if you think about it, we are going crazy of you.How do you make everyone laugh? 💗🫶🏻

More @libbytwq LORE!!

I get excited everytime I see you like I’ve been a fan since 2023 when you had those non-smg4 characters.You make really creative ocs and art I mean, you had so many cool ocs I just want to eat them one by one, Especially cee cee skies.Whenever you join the vc’s I spam ur name because i love when you’re hanging around! I gotta say, you grew more for the past months that I lowkey miss ur non-smg4 characters/silly anyways 🫶🏻💗

@nxva-blogz ( I know you can’t see this but ima send it to you on discord.)

Nova I just want to appreciate the fact you lighten my day and your jokes make me crack up everytime, they are really funny and the silly stuff with hexsy.I know u are a little goofy sometimes but idc, I can be goody with you😈. Anyways- I love when you joke around with hex3 or hex4 the “Tomm you should make a comic about hex3/hex4) it makes me laugh. The stupid quotes from hexsy is hilarious bro I can’t get it outta my head.💗🫶🏻

@moonlight12086

Oh my dear moon..my little silly crazy kitty..

YOU..!!!! YOU!!! YOU I LOVE U SM BRO UR SO COOL AND I LOVE UR STYLE SO MUCH!!! Your animated shit is so cool I swear like- I love you pookie, I’m so glad I met you because you’re not leaving me /j💗I REALLY hope we stay bffs forever and ever and I wish I could hug you rn I miss you. Your style is beautiful and delicious I just want to eat it right now because I bet it would taste like Cotten candy or biscuits, possibly caramel. You put a smile on my face every time we talk💗🫶🏻

@coralalala64

Girl... You're Hilarious with ur gifs and personally, makes me weeze all day 🤣. You are a nice and good person in general to begin with and I wanna say..ur art..doodles..anything..IS YUMMY I SWEAR ESPECIALLY THE ANGST AND LITTLE FETUSES YOU MAKE AGHHH. You literally slay all day queen /j but I also want to mention that YOU EAT CHIPS IN A BOWL🤣😭 nah girl same- anyways I want to give you a million hugs because you're the best :) 🫶

@tiredsmashbros

Well....well...well..what do we have here..

YOU SILLY SILLY BURGER GOOBER MAN I SWEAR-

YOU MAKE AMAZING DELICIOUS FOOD THAT I MUNCH ONE BY ONE. YOUR COMICS ARE SO DELICIOUS, EVEN THE BOWLUIGI ONE BECAUSE I LOVE THEM SMMMM😭😭 AND U JUST MAKE ME FEEL BETTER WHEN I TALK TO YOU CAUSE UR LITERALLY TOMM?!?? WHO WOULDN'T FEEL EXCITED AND NERVOUS?! I also want to say that ive been looking at your account for a while now and when you brought up 'discord server' I was nervous and excited to meet you for the first time. We both have same interests in fandoms which is surprising tbh😟 you make me smile when u talk to me because you are my top BIGGEST IDOL. 🫶

@kittykibbl

Hey kitty... 😈

Kitty you make really good angst of van and hexsy because its so scrumptious and tasty. You are a cool, chill dude in general, literally I swear- when you draw characters they look so cartoony and jiggly it looks amazing. Sometimes you peek in the vc's to Either scare us or see how we are doing. Just to let you know, you are the most important person in the server rn this second. 🫶

If I didn't ping you or make you fanart, I APOLOGIZE BECAUSE IM REALLY SICK SO I CANT THINK RN.

MERRY LATE CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!! LOVE YOU GUYS

[kanonavi]

hello tumblr user kanonavi who is 1/3rd of the reason i started rereading tgcf. i have come to collect my personal apology for the emotional damages inflicted upon me for the past 5 days. and i have also come with THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS (mostly feelings)

- icb i put off this reread so long hualian are so romance. theyre jsut Romance......... absolutely floored by every throwaway bit of dialogue they had....... in shambles forever....,

- sqx arc was not as painful as the first few times i read it bc i now stand with my cancelled wife (he xuan) I STILL LOVE SQX AND THEY DESERVE EVERYTHING GOOD. BUT HX WAS REAL FOR ALL OF THAT. i love revenge

- i wanna know your thoughts on ling wen bc u mentioned having mixed feelings on her but i loved her so bad all the way to the end so im curious ljdkdjf

- i am not immune to backstory arc pt2. read it last last (?) night at like 3am and cried myself to sleep its just so gutting every timeeeeeee.... the hc plot that builds in that arc is ofc one of my favorites in the entire novel though :')

- the chapter w the cave of statues took me like 2+ hours to get through because i was feeling so insane abt it

i feel bad dropping this block of text in ur askbox sorry. will leave it there for now LOL

Omg hiiiii tumblr user stardust-make-a-wish welcome back from the yaoi cocaine pit :3 I know you're here to collect emotional damages, but I must make it known that I'm not even remotely sorry <3

Also you should feel bad for yourself instead of for me because I can only respond to huge blocks of text with even bigger blocks of text, so (TGCF Spoilers Ahead) and also I am so sorry lmaooooo

UGH you're so right that hualian is the most romance forever they are just so *clenches fists and sobs*....... They're always there for each other and they're so in love and they've been through so much and I just want them to be able to rest because it's what they deserve.

I will never once say that Hu Xuan wasn't justified in everything he did cuz like. Shi Wudu had it coming what a piece of shit. But at the same time Qingxuan is my wife and I will not tolerate my wife being harmed. So like revenge slay yes but also I am still cancelling He Xuan and spraying him with the water bottle (even though he is already very very damp).

Yesyesyes Ling Wen. So my thought about Ling Wen is that she kinda girlbossed a little too close to the sun, but at the same time you look at her circumstances both past and present and have to understand why she did all of that. It already would have been hard enough for her to gain any kind of recognition as a woman, much less in the Heavenly Court, so her ruthlessness is completely understandable. But at the same time, I don't really think the Brocade Immortal deserved what she did to him nor was taking Bai Wuxiang's side in the final conflict a real cool thing of her to do. I can't fully be a hater though because her own thoughts about everything are clearly so nuanced (See: The final convo she had with Xie Lian about the Brocade Immortal, which I am still thinking so incredibly hard about to this day).

I think that Ling Wen is interesting in the same way that I find other characters like Mu Qing, He Xuan, and Yin Yu interesting. It's in the sense that even if I don't really agree with all of the actions that they took, it's very easy to look at them and come to an understanding of why they did what they did. And I have varying degrees of like for all of the characters I just listed, but that doesn't change the fact that they're all Compelling. So it's almost like a begrudging respect that I feel for Ling Wen, if I were to boil it down into simple terms.

aaaaaaaaaa The Horrors(tm) :sob: Even though I could talk about Xie Lian's arc through that part of his backstory for a million years, you're so right that Hua Cheng's arc through it is also so interesting to watch. It really goes to prove that Hua Cheng is different from everyone else in Xie Lian's life up until this point, because yes there's the very obvious throughline of Hua Cheng wanting to protect Xie Lian (rather than expecting his protection), but even more importantly that feeling never changes even when Xie Lian has his mini corruption arc.

Like, Hua Cheng fell in love with the pure and virtuous Crown Prince of Xianle but not for that quality. Instead of being ashamed and looking at Xie Lian with scorn when he was like "What if I kill everyone actually" Hua Cheng is like "Then let me be your sword". There's the element of not wanting Xie Lian to dirty himself that Hua Cheng carries for the entire story but the point is in that he is not a voice who would tell Xie Lian to stop having those thoughts if it's truly what he wants (Unlike what his parents or Feng Xin and Mu Qing would probably say).

I'm going to write an essay about their character dynamic one day istg I am chewing through the drywall

The cave statues chapter......... *passes away*. Like on one hand that chapter is so funny because yes Hua Cheng is just an absolute certified freak (POV my roommate telling me earlier on in my reading that HC is a porn addict and me being like "pssht noooo" but then getting to this chapter several months later and being like "O h.") but on the other hand THE CONFESSION??????? Like. All I can do is gesture wildly at the storyboard animatic that someone made of that scene on YouTube while absolutely fucking sobbing. There is a reason why the cover of volume 6 felt somehow more intimate than the cover of volume 4 where they're literally making out.

Anyway I'm patting Hua Cheng on the head like It's okay buddy Xie Lian loves you because you're a certified freak, he's seen too much of this world to be weirded out even a little bit. Which is why those two are perfect for each other <3

I'm glad you had so much fun on your reread, have fun with the brainworms :3

[vanchovvy]

sphereland movie photodump ya ya yaaaaa

hex kept her bow and that honestly makes me so sick in the head. something tells me that this was meant to resemble her being unable to get over her grandpa after he died and the ship with old arthur in it flying away was implied to be hex finally letting go. or maybe im overthinking it idk

me when i scare someone so bad it sends them into a state of incomprehensible existence

she does NAWTTTT want u bro

you think they throw tomatoes at him when no one else is around?/J/J

puncto is so stupid i hate her and i love her at the same time very much. is that even a thing if its a strong feeling??

"ur a sphere!!!" Yes my beautiful theychild…… that is a Spher

he didnt even say sorry for leaving hex and arthur he just said "Curious…." british ass. id be pretty mad too if my new 2nd interdimensional yaoi grandfather left his boyfriend for saying something he thought was preposterous and never came back to us

THERE GOES MY BABYYYYYYYY

i just thought this part was funny.Me when i encounter the Evil Radioactive Fish Thing

the pointlanders are in the shape of a very badly drawn heart……<3

hex was so tiny as a kid. oh and also i just wanted to point out that little hexs lips were less visible and big hex doesnt have any lips. imo it makes the design like way better(ignoring big hexs blush)

Heh…..new rarepair?(rare as in not shipped(ignore the queen of the right shes not part of this sorry))

spherius just floated onto the screen in this part and didnt say anything

spherius rlly got SILENCED at this part. and STILL no apology(puncto getting all defensive as if he had anything to do with hex 20 years ago)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

(WHAT WAS HE SCREAMING FOR?????) (+ extra fail screenie)

go kylie go! youre doing good sweetie!!!/q

the way spherius said "differ" makes me feel funny. "i respectfully beg to DIFFAUH!!!!!!"

the resemblance is CRAZY

"YOU SUCK AT DRIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!"(also hex looks high)

the gasp here was random and unnecessary but hey anything for more screentime for hubble!

it mightve been because i was watching a low quality pirated copy on bilibili earlier but i never noticed that the oversphere was…..um…."cosplaying"?????(reflecting like a sentient mirror) hex.

is this why they turned more purple when speaking to spherius?

i think thats beautiful….i love u oversphere……

ilove how as soon as they found the portal

hex started flirting with the red masc nonbinary bisexual period clot and the hot topic booger nacho lesbill cipher

(i headcanon puncto as nonbinary because hex doesnt give off hetero vibes. trust me. i would know. yuri wins! (also, hex*puncto reminds me of sakaki x kaori azumanga daioh for some reason but it would be a bit confusing if i said a straight ship reminded me of a gay ship))

dr hubble wanted to take pics.. but wouldnt the camera he was searching for be 2 dimensional only? how is he supposed to take a picture in a place thats not the 2nd dimension im so lost

(hes not part of the polycrew *ba dum tss!* hes aro and hes not aero*ba dum tss!*)

how it feels to wake up to your alarm after you woke up 3 hours before it and fell asleep

The Oversphere

(IS THAT GOD?????/ref)

ALSO WHEN I FIRST SAW THIS PICTURE I STARTED LAUGHIGN SO HARD AND MY CHEST STILL HURTS

SHE LOOKS LIKE A FISH THAT DIED TO NO OXYGEN IN THE WATER BLESS HER SOUL (im making an aero*hex video out of this and i call dibs so no one else can)

EWWWWWW THEY HAVE NO FACESSSS

end of photodump ^_^ ^_^ ^_^

[kirkwallguy]

help... i BARELY know about the astarion stuff. but ive somehow run into the emmrich posts. i had no idea they were daddy dom'ing him. 😭 i've seen posts talking about how they'll only romance him as a woman out of spite (for calling him gay-coded which what but also WHAT) and another about getting pregnant and having his kids. like WHAT. what happened!!! i locked into his romance last save, and i am INSTANTLY regretting it....

i think i fucked up. i loved flirting w davrin, but he and my aldwir (dorians ex btw, hiii) had tense moments about weisshaupt. i really love the bellara/aldwir/davrin trio and been taking them w me everywhere. so their romance died down for me as they got closer and more serious about each other. i flirted w bellara too at first (playfully, i liked how it was complimenting her bc its TRUE girl), so i eventually focused on emmrich, again as a joke, then it actually turned intriguing 😂, i'm yapping now. the point is, i unfortunately caught feelings for this old man, and he didn't tell me he was married. 🙄 idk, idk. i learned about strife too. THAT was funny, bc that man chewed me out 5 minutes into the game, and emmrich is into him too?? i did not mean to steal ur man!! that one's not on me!! sigh. he's so messy. do u think he'll leave any of his fortune to me if he never dies? :/ he's got a wife and living kids now, etc., etc.

how did i end up as a side piece. AGAIN. i know who u really are emmrich. 😂 do u think dorian will take me back. 😭 went after his teacher and got played. 😂 i wish this game wasnt so final about the romances. maybe davrin deserves to laugh at me a little. did the devs ever think about that.

ive the romancing him as a woman to #own the faggots idea for astarion and gale and zevran and [insert any romancable bisexual man here]... because clearly gay people have had it too good for too long when it comes to video game romance

Honestly i think for every dav romance the flirting is the best part and then everything after is underwhelming. i cba to romance emmrich so i don't know about the wife thing, but i LOOOVE that he gets with strife. 🫶🏼 old man yaoi

[touchd0wn-boy]

ok first impressions while i'm still running on adrenaline:

- ouch my knees

- ouch my back

- single greatest concert of my life maybe holy shittt what the FUCK why did none of you guys tell me blink suddenly goes this hard WHAT THE FUCK

- THOMAS MATTHEW DELONGE!!!!!!! BACK WHERE YOU BELONG!!!!! PLEASE NEVER LEAVE AGAIN!!!;

- the entire last part of the show from wmaa to dammit was one continuous mosh pit. I was JUMPING and SWEATING and CRYING and SCREAMING

- special shout out to the guy dressed as boomer who was pulled from the crowd for crowdsurfing right in front of tom during first date not once not twice but three whole times. ur my hero i love u

- EDGING!!!!!! SONG OF ALL TIME!!!!!

- they stole cynical from me. this is a hate crime against me in particular

- MARK AND TOMMMMM!!!!!! TOM AND MARK!!!!!!! MY OLD MEN!!!! MY GUYS!!!!!!! I LOVE UUUUUU!!!!!!

- travis was there i think sorry i didn't look at him

- MARK ALLAN HOPPUS MAKING ME FUCKING CRY OVER ADAMS SONG EVEN THOUGH I KNEW IT WAS COMING

- the ol adams song gotd one two punch of death

- tom hip thrusting and dancing his little heart out

- everyone was so nice fr we were just chilling!!! hanging out!!

- tom? nuzzled mark's cheek? i think? or kissed his cheek? there was a lot going on. old man yaoi alive and well in blinkverse tho god bless

- WHERE ARE YEWWWWWW goes so hard the videos don't do it justice fr. my voice is GONE

- skye gave picks to someone right next to me and mark made it into a whole thing it was very funny

- she was also filming and dancing right in front of me I LOVE U SKYE!!!!

- i'm dead

[noona96n]

Just see this in twitter by someone :

"Why do people read shonen for subtextual doomed yaoi click bait when X exists and you don’t have to pretend?"

"I'm starting to think maybe people should read actual BL manga. perhaps considering manga written with actual gay characters in it in addition to shipping m x m from whatever battle shounen you're into."

Like because of those subtext, there can be fanfics and fanarts, right? And then I decided to read your fics and this blog of yours are the best...

okay, so... there are so many things in those tweets i have issues with lol

the first being the judgment and policing. both tweets u shared w/ me have those vibes and i h8 those the most, in fandom space AND irl. just... why? let ppl enjoy what they what. I'm all about recommendations but not w/ this sort of disdain and condescension... they're just unnecessary.

the second is kinda related to the first in that it's all about preferences and circumstances... should be more open-minded and consider that, maybe, ppl LIKE actions and mysteries and whatever and the shipping is a side gig... we just happen to like the relationship dynamics between some characters within these media and we ship them.

honestly, ppl really, really need to learn to just not be bothered by what other people like.

the third thing being NOT EVERYTHING WITH INTENSE SAME SEX FRIENDSHIP IS QUEERBAITING. there are nuances to relationships beyond the typical heteronormative, allonormative, and amatonormative ones.

ngl but i never really understood why ppl thought some anime or drama are queerbaiting when friendships and kinships are just as intense, maybe even MORE intense than romance. and not everything is romance either, jesus christ... just because a relationship or a dynamic doesn't neatly fit with their version of how relationships work doesn't mean the creators are queerbaiting... relationships are so saturated with cultural and traditional nuances, even languages! and they can be very situational as well. idk why ppl insist on examining relationships from such narrowed lenses.

well, sorry about that... i just get really upset when i see that sort of bullshit discourse ya know? hence why im not on twt anymore lol

anyway, i totally agree with what u say about the subtext leaving rooms for fanfics and fanarts!!!

personally, it's what's left unsaid that motivates me to create fanwork!! it's the potential we could play around with that's interesting <3

don't be bothered by those tweets (if u were, that is)... their judgement of ur preferences doesn't say anything about u but reflect WHO THEY ARE so just enjoy what ur like to ur fullest <3

[twinkskeletons]

I'm getting into FOB for the first time what are some insane facts about them to ponder

man.. idk where to start lol there are. a lot of fob insane moments. i guess the joetrick piss notes are a good place to begin though :]

many more piss related fob moments like pete playing piss roulette (its on youtube), and he used to pee in patrick/joes/both probably bathtub and it would be like. brown and corrosive :(

also these

joe bi moment in this one too happy pride ^_^

theres also release the bats which i havent seen bc i don’t hate myself that much but u can check that out for pete getting hard after being shot in the ass with a paintball gun, more piss, the consumption of various fluids, heychris eating a pie out of someones ass etc… (if any of this is inaccurate i did get it from reddit bc again im not doing that to myself lol)

speaking of rtb theres also this.. which comes right before him saying he’s never had a homosexual experience

think about this one a lot… like girl he has to sing that !! 😭 have more quotes like this but this post is getting long enough already

umm heres patrick talking abt the time he got arrested (for something like not getting a california license bc he didnt want to lose his chicago one idk i cant drive and im not american) and how he just played drums on the bench for hours

of course i could never forget the interview where pete gives his name as jason and the interviewer talks abt how much she loves yaoi…. the joetrick kiss interview from like 2004 + the follow up where joe says he cant remember it… uhh theres also one thats more recent where pete and patrick talk abt how during the recording of tttyg they didnt shower for a week and ended up spraying their armpits with air freshener..patrick eating nothing but popeyes and champagne for like a month or something after breaking up with his girlfriend

big fan of this one.. patrick saying he intentionally made the lyrics hard to make out to sound better lol (this article is also where he says its gross to watch ur dad sing bc its like watching him bone :/) theres also an article somewhere where he says he wrote i dont care and disloyal order in like 10 minutes completely out of spite bc he was mad at pete

as for pete + patrick fights there was one where pete choked him against a gas pump and another where pete pushed him into the bushes and then patrick tried to jump kick him and they had a fistfight outside taco cabana. those r like the main ones that get spoken about but theres a lot more like i think there was one where patrick punched pete in the face over a chord change or something like that i dont remember where i heard that though

could probably find a lot more but again this post is getting long so ill leave it there for now :]

[classybeardbluebird]

Ugh i am just tired of all this comments...really!!! Not depressed but really tired and leave that disappoint part and i did not have any expectations from the fandom anyway ( yuunoa shippers)

They r all shitting on me with arguments that on the rooftop scene bet yuu and shinoa interaction yuu asked shinoa 2 b there with him when he saves mika.....so they r like yuunoa is canon...i mean seriously...that's all with u r gonna come at me telling this scene reminds of the typical romantic scenes where the mc asked his love interest 2 follow him in his journey....i meean okok

So if even i am taking ur point as valid one then ig there can be arguments 2 this scene ..u see b4 he told shinoa this line ...he already asked mitsuba 4 her help 2 save mika ...look here👇

He already asked mitsuba's help b4 he asked shinoa ...i mean really if he asks shinoa then ig it should b obvious that the whole squad will b there....so what's the big thing anyway ....

See i am not bashing yuunoa i think it's a cute ship...it will b a quite adorable one but u also need reasons why they should b in a mutual relationship....they need chemistry 4 it 2 b believing which we still did not get in this manga but we might in the future but it seems quite unlikely given the state of the characters...and u see it seems like u r shipping yuunoa so that they can b in a bed together...i mean pls u ppl r the ones thinking ill of shinoa ...bcoz that's what the comments look like ...but i am not gonna post them bcoz i am a very civilized person who was taught good manners by her parents...

Guren and mahiru were the only ones officially declared lovers but i really doubt that becoz i hardly saw any chemistry bet them ...u can't judge little guren and mahiru they were like 5 that time and when he came in contact with shinya and squad he put friendship 1st as a priority than romance......just becoz they had sex does not mean they were really into each other but if they were it is quite twisted....

And stop using the word yaoi 4 every single show where there r 2 males invested in each other becoz yaoi is used 4 tags in hentai vedios and when the focal point is boys romance ( more physically tbh) but that's not the case with ons and if it bcomes shounen ai then that should not b quite a surprise bcoz this series is quite focused on mental or emotional strength rather than physical and love is a very big part of the series shounen ai does not make it less shounen and guren never said i love you 2 mahiru like mahiru did , he put friendship first and i don't think yuu will b any different....so ppl get ur facts straight

I got like more than 30 messages regarding this yuunoa canon and yaoi insults in my inbox ....i am just so tired...

[dreammutual-remade]

high school!mark

request: highschool!mark if u love me plspls

 word count: 5.5k

a/n: lucky that I love u anon hehehehe !!!!! also wOW I didnt mean to make this so god damn long itS REALLY JUST THESE GOD DAMN HIGH SCHOOL AUS IM WEAK FOR THEM OKAY. look at this cutie hOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO RESIST

mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung

warnings: the usual intermittent cussing and probably an inappropriate joke or two

this au is my Ultimate Weakness it makes me soft as hell alright

………………….

LETS DIVE IN

okay so your mom has a job that forces your family to move around….. A LOT

and while you’ve gotten used to it for the most part it still sucks having to leave people behind and make completely new friends once every couple of years

this time you’re moving to a new school for your SENIOR YEAR and you’re livid

bc like ??? it’s senior year and you have exactly zero (0) friends since you’re new,,, yet again

you Threw A Fit when you found out but your mom was like shut up you ingrate soon you’ll be in college and won’t even have to worry about it

so you, an ingrate, shut up :/

you move in a month before school starts and the house is nice and your room is cute so that’s a plus !!!!!

you hang up some pictures and organize all your cute little trinkets you’ve collected over the years aw

you’ve even got a lil succulent garden growing on your windowsill

ITS CUTE AS HELL OKAY

alright so you’re gonna go explore around town because you , don’t know where anything is and you wanna find some good spots to hang

you take the bus into the middle of town because who tf is tryna drive themselves amirite ladies

support ur local bus driver

anywhom this isn’t a HUGE town but it’s one of those cute towns where you can pretty much walk anywhere you need to go

(god i wish that were me)

so you spend all day just, walkin

you find a library and pick up some books …….

both for decoration and reading okay

and you find a couple of restaurants and write them down to try later along with some coffee shops and whatnot

eventually you’re tired and prolly a lil sweaty bc it’s summer and you’re outside and ugh

so you find a nice big park and a tree and sit down at the base of it to read and mindlessly sketch things in the margins of your book

whEN OUT OF NOWHERE

someone shouts

“HEY WATCH OUT”

and you look up just in time to dodge a sOCCER BALL HURTLING TOWARDS YOUR FACE

it bounces off the tree and rolls a couple feet away

“uhhhh holy shit” - you

you just kind of sit there astonished for 5 seconds before you get up to get the ball and look around for who saved your LIFE

and there’s boy jogging toward you looking extremely embarrassed

you meet him halfway to hand him the ball and he’s like

“oh mY GOD i’m so sorry i told them to settle down but they never listen to me and jisung just ??? doesn’t know how to not take everything seriously and he lost and got pissed and kicked it and we didn’t even kNOW you were over here and also i’m so sorry”

you smile and tell him it’s fine and hand him the ball

you go to get back to your tree and he’s like hey uh you there uh wait up

god he’s awkward

and you turn around to face him with an expectant look

“so um, what’s your name? i haven’t seen you around here before and like in case i ever gotta make this up to you you know ??”

cute

you tell him your name and stick out your hand to shake and he grabs it very hesitantly and tells you his name is mark

he has , very warm hands and they’re only slightly bigger than yours but that’s still cUTE

MARK HAS BABY HANDS I DARE U TO SAY HE DOESNT

he says he hopes you enjoy your book and he’ll make sure the boys don’t disturb you anymore than they already have

you wave as he goes and he gives you a smile over his shoulder and his cheeks are tinged pink and wOw this boy is a cutie patootie

you go back to your reading but now instead of doodling you’re just writing his name or drawing his big doe eyes or his smooth hands

(((((let’s pretend we’re all good at drawing okay god knows i can’t do much more than a stick figure)))))

the boys leave after an hour or two and you leave pretty soon after then because the sun is setting and you gotta be home for dinner

basically your mom wants to make sure you aren’t kidnapped and/or lost in a new town

which, to be fair, is not that unlikely

you have your headphones in and you’re leaned against the bus window half asleep as you go

bitch wake up youRE GONNA MISS YOUR STOP

it’s the same bus driver who saw you get on and honestly there aren’t a lot of people on the bus so he makes sure you get off

“hey you, girl back there, hEY! this is your stop girly”

you thank him profusely and tip him because uhhhh u gotta get home and like Not Lost

you skip home with your bag of books and miscellaneous items you found at the thrift store!!!

you bought a little figurine of a dragon and she’s beautiful her name is saraphina because why not

that’s completely irrelevant i’m so sorry

i have ADHD

anywhom

you walk in and you’re all like hey momma !!! how goes it !!:3

and your mom is Sus™️ because why are you in such a good mood

and you’re like !!! cause i had a good day okay love u bye i’m going to my rOOM

don’t let her question anymore or else she’ll dig out that you met a Cute Boy

you go to your room and get out all your purchases and organize them while you still have the motivation to do so

and yeah

you use one of the blank notes to start like a lil drawing diary of sorts ???? like just to draw stuff in whenever you’re inspired or you see something pretty

and you definitely saw smth pretty today ;))))))))

hint: ITS MARK

you try to draw him from memory but it doesn’t look quite right and like :(((((( how sad is that what if you don’t even see him again

the rest of the month passes pretty quickly in the same fashion

by now you’ve befriended the bus driver and he tells you all the cool secret nooks and crannies of town for you to go find

he’s also your bff pretty much he always tells you about his daughter and all the cute things she does and you just talk about your life in general and he gives you advice

congrats you’ve unlocked Wise Uncle

he gives you directions to this teeny TINY flower shop where you befriend the old lady who works there by bringing a muffin everytime you go by

she trades you for a seasonal flower and makes a big deal out of tucking it behind your ear herself

basically you find all the cute old people in town and make them your friend because.

THATS CUTE

ADDED BONUS OF LIKE 17 PARENT FIGURES TO GIVE YOU ADVICE

this is accidentally straying into art hoe territory i hope y’all are okay w/ that

school is starting really soon and you’re nervous but also used to this so it doesn’t affect you as bad as normally

also you did meet some people so you aren’t going in with no friends but like, pretty close to no friends

on the first day of school you ride the bus and you see ???? mark ????? on your bus ????????

so you get on and do your daily greeting of the bus driver

his daughter lost her first tooth AW

you fake cry and he says “mood” and you lose it because you’re pushing internet culture onto this unsuspecting middle aged man skdkdkkd

you pat him on the shoulder as you walk back to find a seat but there are none because for some reason the bus is busy this early in the morning ????

you wouldn’t know lmao summer sleep schedule had you up at 10 at the earliest

so you go to stand and hold onto one of the poles in the center

(nearby our boy mark LEE)

mark looks up from his phone

these god damn millennials always on that damn phone

and he sees you and he’s like wHOA what’s up uhhh Soccer Ball Girl

and nice you remembered his name bUT HE DIDNT REMEMBER YOURS

but then he’s like nahhhh just kidding i remember ur name hey y/n !!!

you talk otw to school and find out you’re both seniors at the same school and how you’re excited for sports games and like, GRADUATING

mark keeps trying to offer you his seat but you refuse and he pouts everytime you say no :((((

good god just take the seat look at the sad baby boy :((((((((((((

there is an, occurrence

at one point the bus goes over a bump and you stumble a little and mark reaches up to catch you before you literally fall on him

his hands fly out and grab you by the hips to steady you since he’s sitting and you’re standing and he can’t exactly reach your shoulders sO YEA

or at least that’s his explanation in his head huehuehuehe

his hands linger for MAYBE 10 seconds before he whips them back into his pockets and blushes while you thank him

you: are also blushing

the bus driver: completely did that on purpose

when you get off the bus your Second Dad tells you good luck and pats you on the head and mark is like ???? do you know him

and you’re like yeah that’s my man maurice we’re buds

and he’s like ???? i’ve rode that bus all my life to school and i’m not buds with him wtf :/

“srry you’re not as lovable as me!! jealousy is a disease <3”

and he laughs his dorky laugh

you highkey are smiling so big because this boy is so cute and he’s walking close enough that your shoulders brush every once in a while and he has a silly laugh and AW

as you walk into the school marks group of Boys starts waving him over excitedly and he turns in their direction but then stops when he sees you aren’t following

“hey whatcha doin???”

“well uhhh those are Your Boys you know and i’m, i don’t, really, uh they don’t know me”

“aw cmon they’ll love you!!! look ill just introduce you and if they’re terrible and annoying you can leave”

“........ i gue-“

but he’s already grabbed your hand and is pulling you over to them

“sup fellas this is y/n and she just moved here this year so don’t be too overwhelming.”

the smaller one with the highish voice chimes in

“aww but overwhelming is my only setting”

“then just don’t be yourself, chenle”

“heYYY it’s that girl i almost killed in the park !!! so sorry about that by the way”

he introduces them to you one by one and they all shake your hand

jisung is the one with the big ass yaoi hands and also the one who almost ended your young life

jaemin is the one with pretty smile

jeno is the one with the squishy eyes

renjun is the Art Hoe of the group you can just tell

he’s wearing some got damn overalls you gotta befriend him immediately

donghyuck is the one with beautiful skin and a v high voice you’re highkey like hey but can you dROP THE SKINCARE ROUTINE and he’s like “i just wash my face every day xoxo :*”

you quickly learn who is a piece of shit and who isn’t

you figure out who has classes with you and then set off for the day !!

mark has gym and economics with you but those are after lunch :(((

he squeezes your shoulder before he leaves and says good luck though so you’ll survive

you have art with renjun first and this boy is your bestie already

he’s such a sarcastic shit and he too likes drawing random things and vandalizing school textbooks with artistically correct memes

he also has the AUDACITY

“so, you and mark already ;););)(;);)))”

“i uh don’t know what you mean by that”

“you SO do!!!!! you guys walked into school together everyone probably already thinks you’re a thing”

“oh shit really??? ah i feel so bad”

“is that a bad thing???”

“i mean yeah i’m not tryna Tarnish mark’s reputation”

“that is some self hatred bs he would be lucky to have you !!!!”

“renjun you don’t even know me that well yet”

“i know enOUGH”

you just uhh change the subject which renjun def notices but like

who cares

renjun apparently also goes to the same flower shop as you !!!

you find out because you see him drawing the front of it and you’re like heY i’ve been there my girl edna works there !!!!! she insist i call her grandma tho

and he’s all oh sHIT that’s my girl too !!!!!!

long story short edna is now your shared grandmother

now THAT is some uwu shit

you go about your day and it’s lunchtime and yOU uh don’t know where to sit :(

you see a girl that you met who works at the little coffee shop you like so you set off in her direction and you’re almost there when jeno and jaemin walk up and sling an arm around your shoulder from either side

“hEY BUDDY” -jeno

“SUP SQUIRT” -jaemin

and they start steering you in another direction towards their own table

“god of all nicknames you had to give me sQUIRT”

“yes it’s because you’re cute and small like squirtle”

“that’s a god damn reach if i’ve ever seen one but okay”

you get there and they practically TOSS you into the seat next to mark

he winces and gives you and apologetic pat on the back before starting the conversation

“alright so who actually did the summer reading”

as the table bursts into Absolute Ruckus you just kind of sit back and watch

mark notices you being quiet and while renjun and chenle are arm wrestling he leans over to quietly be like

“hey you doin okay over there? are they too much”

“oh not at all i’m just takin it in lmao”

“yeah that’s understandable. they’re easily the most entertaining group of people you’ll ever meet but also i’ve wanted to strangle every single one of them at least once”

“what are you 30??? you talk about them like you’re their mom”

“i mean someone’s gotta do it”

you and mark talk all throughout lunch and head to gym together since that’s next

exercising right after eating ??? sounds like a GREAT plan thanks so much public school system !!!!

you go to pull out your bag of gym clothes but ??? all you’ve got is shorts ?????

S H I T

you start whining because you’re like aWW i’m gonna get in trouble :(((((

and he’s like here i have like 12 shirts in here because i always bring too many and then leave some when i got soccer practice i gotchu

(he gives you the clean shirt that hasn’t been sitting in his locker <3333 what a guy)

you thank him proFUSELY and then go to the girls locker room to change

the shirt is too big and you don’t wanna look like a Bag so you tie a lil knot in it in the front

you don’t look like a thot tho you just look Cute As Fuck

some girl in the locker room lets you borrow a hair tie and off we go !!!

it’s the first day so everyone literally just stretches and sits around talking

you’ve hashtag LOST mark and you don’t have any friends yet so you’re just chillin talking to the girl who gave you a hair tie because she seems nice and you got nothin better to do

you’re explaining to her how to take care of a succulent /properly/ when mark catches a basketball that was headed right for you yelling a watch it !!!! over his shoulder

he turns to you and giggles a little, nudging your foot with his

“you’re just a danger magnet aren’t you”

“i mean danger is my middle name so”

“uGH get your ass over here away from all those freshman hoodlums who think they can play”

you wave bye to your friend because there’s literal fear in her eyes at the sight of mark ??

you ask her what’s wrong later and she’s like oh it’s not him i just have a crippling fear of boys

(that’s a mood)

you and mark pass a volleyball back and forth and fuck around pretty much all period

this is actually the one (1) sport he isn’t good at thank GOD you were worried he had no flaws

at the end of the class you ask him if he wants his shirt back and he says, and i quote,

“nah you and your thot knot can keep it, looks cuter on you anyways”

you smack his arm for calling you a thot but then thank him anyways for the shirt and for calling you cute :))))))))

econ passes the same way except normal clothing and no sports

although mark does throw a wadded up piece of paper on you that says u want 2 hang w the boys n me after school ? if yes then breathe if no do a backflip

this headass boy

you throw it back so it bounces off his forehead and then nod to confirm you will

you don’t have any of the boys in your last class and you don’t where to meet up so you just kind of loiter by your locker since jeno’s is pretty close to yours and maybe they’ll meet here ????

luckily jisung spots you and is like hey what r u doin here aren’t u hanging with us after school??? cmon

you follow him out to the parking lot where they’re all gathered around jeno and jaemins vehicles because apparently they’re the only ones with actual cars

rip

they start waving too excitedly when they see you and mark smiles all big

wooOOO baby boy already has a crush on you :3

they’ve apparently already decided to go to chenles house because apparently he’s fuckin loaded

you don’t believe that for a sECOND because he’s wearing crocs and an old ass polo shirt but

we’ll see

you mark and renjun ride with jaemin while the Babies ride with jeno since he is able to ignore them being crackheads in the backseat and drive his vehicle without crashing

apparently they’ve cause multiple vehicular accidents ??? possibly the reason renjun doesn’t have a car ???????

who knows

y’all have a blast in jaemins car tho playing tokyo drift from the third fast and furious movie if u haven’t heard that shit plEASE GO LISTEN WHAT A SONG HEHEHHEHHEHE

you pull into this BIG ASS house and you’re like no fucking way dude

and everyone else in the car simultaneously says

“i know right ???”

y’all pull in and go inside and it’s real nice holy SHIT

chenle comes in cackling followed closely be jisung and more sedately by jeno who looks ready to fckin die

you pat him on the shoulder and go you did well, soldier

he salutes solemnly before breaking out into the smile

y’all know the one

you UWU right there on the spot but hold yourself back from poking his cheek and cooing

chenle then SCREECHES and yells

“WHO IS TRYNA PLAY JUST DANCE”

and everyone crowds into his living room

somehow the couch is big enough to fit all of you comfortably that’s fckin impressive

you play just dance for 3 whole ass hours and now you’re Tired and Ready To Go Home

there’s a bus stop nearby and you insist upon walking since jaemin already have you a ride here and you didn’t even have gas money to give him :(((

mark goes to since you have to catch the same bus

you hum as you skip around the sidewalk and he walks behind you smiling fondly while you twirl around

he recognizes the song and whistles along and wow !!!!

Harmony™️

when you get to the stop you’re like 5 mins early

so to entertain yourselves you play rock paper scissors and each time the winner gets to flick the loser on the forehead

mark is a sweet boy so he flicks softly but you go all out

wouldn’t be surprised if he had a bruise tmrw girly u need to chill

you sit on the bus together when it arrives since there’s actually room now and he slumps down low until his head is pretty much rested on your shoulder

(our man maurice sees and is like GET IT GIRL but only so you notice and you make threatening hand motions at him)

you’re not sure if he’s asleep so you stay extra still just in case

and no one needs to know you rested your cheek on top of his head

but when it gets to your stop you’re like mark? mark lee??? mork ???? wake up ??? and you nudge him a little with your shoulder and he sits up and rubs his eyes aW

he slow blinks at you and goes

“hm?”

and you’re like i uh gotta go now

and he’s like :/// okay i’ll see you tomorrow and stands up and gives you a half hug before you go

maurice is DYING in the front you’re going to kill him

you walk home with a smile on your face and again your mom is suspicious of your good mood but you’re like aw it’s nothin just had a good day at school made lots of friends !!!!!!

as summer turns into fall you make more friends but you mostly hang out with the boys because they’re funny and nice to you and also Mark is there and we love our boy

you guys all attend football games together and go absolutely ALL OUT for whatever the theme is

for example: the theme was halloween and you all dressed as god damn SMURFS

it was legendary there was not one bit of you all that wasn’t covered in blue paint

jisung almost fought some girl who thought he was from the movie Avatar until everyone was like jisung cHILL OUT ITS NOT HER FAULT YOURE VERY TALL AND COMPLETELY BLUE

and well

can’t argue with that

it gets chillier though so you all bring blankets and cuddle most of the games

all of the boys suspiciously aren’t cold at first until you and mark share a blanket

they’re so obvious GOD

with each time y’all share you get more relaxed around each other until eventually mark has one arm slung around you and your legs are hooked over one of his thighs while y’all Snuggle

renjun waggles his eyebrows at you every five minutes and you discreetly give him the finger every time

little ASSHOLE

college applications are due like. right now

you all apply to a nice university close by as a backup/safe place and then apply to more brazy places just to see if you can get in

everyone’s been real stressed lately so you’re like !!!!! hey imma throw a friendsgiving party !!! yeehaw !!!!!!!!!

and you invite all of them over

“everyone bring smth and i’ll bake a ham or smth,,, i swear to GOD if all of you show up with store-bought pumpkin pie. i will kill you and then myself”

“what’s with you and pumpkin pie?”

“jUST. don’t”

((((srry i’m projecting my hatred of pumpkin pie onto u reader heheehehheh))))

everyone comes over and it’s really chilly so you have a fire in the fireplace and you have a couple of your gal pals over too

your mom is nice enough to leave y’all alone for the night and she’s not hurt since it’s not real thanksgiving

we stan moms

you bring out the ham and someone has brought green beans and mark ,,,, tHAT ANGEL he brought cornbread stuffing do y’all know what i’m talking abt

OOO THAT STUFF IS GOOD

and there’s sweet potatoes and apple pie and all the Thanksgiving Essentials

jisung wanted to be a dick so he brought cranberry jelly

“why don’t you have some:) cranberry preserves:) , jisung” -you, every 30 seconds

everyone sits down to eat and it’s LOUD so you’re like shut UP !!!!!!!!!!

“every1 say smth ur thankful for :3333”

“my family !!!!”

“you guys <3”

“awW BOOO” - everyone, while throwing things at jaemin

“my life !!”

“that i’m happy”

“gay” -chenle

“minecraft”

anyways no one took it seriously until it got to mark

“i’m grateful y/n moved here :))))))”

everyone goes KSKDDIDI and you blush and you’re like okay ily mark JSKKD

everyone EATS A LOT and then you go sit in a pile in the living room

you go to make hot chocolate for everyone and when you come back it’s , interesting how there’s only room for you next to mark . hm

you pass out the hot chocolate and everyone reaches Maximum Sleepytime

at this point you’re too tired to give a fuck and you just flop onto the couch next to mark and curl up into his side

he puts his arm around you to pull you close and this mf presses a tiny barely there kiss to your temple

you look up and like talk with your eyes

did u just

i did

oh

yeah

and then you just settle back down

it’s too crowded in here for any Moves to be Made

bUT YALL BEST BELIEVE WHEN ALL THESE YOUNGINS GET OUT UR HOUSE

you’ve got the karate kid on bc ??? who doesn’t love the karate kid and all of your cutie friends are asleep in various places

but once it gets super late you start waking people up and going hey i love you but your mom called mine like 8 times you gotta gO

you make sure everyone is awake fully if they’re driving and to text you when they got home safe

at long last

you’re alone

in your house

with mark

actually where is mark

mark has disappeared ?????

you start looking around for him and find him in your room ???

“you snoopin thru my things ??!?!??”

he jumps and is like uHH but you’re like nah you’re fine idc

so he continues and he was really just lookin at what kind of books you have and the little drawings and paintings and knick knacks everywhere

you just sit on your bed and observe him

let’s be real he’s nice to look at and you’d be perfectly fine doing this for uhhh the rest of your life

he pulls a book off your shelf and starts flipping through it until he pauses at a page

and his face blooms into this big smile and he looks hella giddy

and you’re like uhh hey whatcha lookin at there bud

and he just keep smiling and it’s a little smug now wtf

“when were you reading this?”

“oh uh i don’t know i got it this summer at that cute little bookshop”

“was it, by chance, the day we met?”

“i mean maybe??? why ????”

and he shows you the page and it’s tHAT oNE WHERE YOU WERE DOODLING BITS OF HIM AND WRITING HIS NAME ALL OVER IT

FUCK !!!!!!!

you immediately turn tomato red and snatch the book in to hold it tightly to your chest

“uhhh i do that with uhhhh eVerYONE I MEET”

“aw i thought i was special:((((”

he’s creeping closer to you this whole time until he’s INCHES AWAY

he gently pulls the book out of your hands and places it aside before grabbing your wrists and uncrossing your arms

“personally, i think it’s really cute”

you blush even more this man knows what he’s doing

you mumble a thanks with your eyes trained on his fuzzy socks what a dork

he releases one of your wrists to push your chin up so he can look you in the eyes

“do you really do that with everyone you meet?”

“,,,,,,, no it’s just you”

“alright cool”

and then he wraps his arms around your waist to pull you close til you’re pressed together chest to chest AW

he nudges his nose against yours and you close your eyes because your god daMN HEART IS POUNDING AND YOU CANT LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THOSE BIG PUPPY EYES

he presses the sweetest and gentlest of kisses to each cheek and then to the top of your nose

he presses one last lingering kiss on your forehead before he tilts his chin down to press your lips together

it’s so soft and innocent wow i’m going to SHED TEARS WRITING THIS

and he pulls away and you press your face into his neck in embarrassment

he chuckles a lil and rubs your back, leaning his cheek against your head

“hey, you down there”

you say “yeah?” but your voice is muffled by his neck and it’s more like eh ???

“my girlfriend y/n will you be ???”

what the fuck

you pull your head back so you can look at his face which is turning steadily redder

“uh what”

“shIT uh i meant will you uh bemygirlfriend”

your confused expression turns into a shit eating grin and you’re like

“what was that :)))) i didn’t hear you :)))))”

he groans and rests his forehead on your shoulder and pitifully whines out

“please be my girlfriend :(((((“

you pick his face up and hold it between your palms and he pouts playfully

“well how could i say no to that face”

and you smooch him right on those lil pouted lips

“yes i’ll be your girlfriend”

he smiles real big and smooshes you against him aw

wow so now you’re mark lee’s gf

LUCKY BITCH

lowkey you get a few threats but as soon as mark catches wind of that he stands on the statue in front of the school and announces that if anyone has a problem with you they’ve got a problem with him !!!!

and he looks like: ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

you drag him down while apologizing to everyone in the general vicinity

mark is. veRY CLINGY NOW

i mean no complaints here it’s just

wow

you’ll be standing at your locker when BAM mark is wrapped around you from behind and you get a hey baby how’s ur day right in your ear

in gym class he restrains himself since the coaches are always like LEE KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF

but he always whines after and is like

:((((( but you look so cute in my shirt i wanna squish you

whenever mark comes over you force him to let you draw him at least once

each time it gets easier since you’ve started to memorize the details of his face and the knuckles of his hands and the shape of his shoulders

a lot of times he just comes over to watch movies and talk

he’s not an eloquent guy

(“you all look like pretty grass :)))” - mark lee)

but he gets what he needs to say out and he enjoys listening to you talk about whatever’s on your mind

you’ve started a glow in the dark star sticker collection to put on your ceiling and each time he comes over you put a constellation up there

so you’ll lay in bed and turn off the lights and just stare at the ceiling and try to name them all

soon you’ll just get sleepy though and press your face into his chest

he uwu’s every time :((((

after he’s done being astonished by his Baby™️ he’ll wrap his arms around you and stroke a hand up and down your spine wow

Real Relaxation Hours

your mom will come home and find y’all asleep and then SHE uwu’s and it’s just one big cute MESS

he loves to kiss you right as he’s leaving like he’ll lay one on you then RUN to the bus stop

p.s. maurice is on y’all every day saying he called it AY

his other favorite kisses are when he catches you off guard and just turns you around and kisses you and you’re like

I’m Confused But I Like This

lots of sweet pecks throughout the day and then longer slower stuff when you’re home and alone and relaxing

leaves hickeys on your neck literally just to be annoying

it’s oKAY THO DONT TELL HIM YOU LIKE IT

months pass and youve said your first “i love you’s” to each other and renjun is always like so when y’all gettin married huh

you both SMACK him simultaneously

but lowkey you would marry mark he’s the best and you love him so wHY NOT

but it’s early and you know that and you’re happy with what you have now :))))))

pls love and support our hardworking baby mark lee he is doing his best and i love him goodnight

[danfanciesphil]

Give Me A Try (New Chapter)

Gay Instagram Model/Bartender Phan AU Part 3

(Part One)

(Part Two)

(Read on Ao3!)

Dan’s in the middle of his break, scrolling through his phone, when a text notification appears at the top of his screen. He drops his bagel into his lap, cursing.

The text is from Phil. He doesn’t know any other Phil’s, so it has to be AmazingPhil, texting him, inexplicably.

He clicks the notification, eyes wide, simultaneously scooping up the bagel bits that have fallen onto his knees.

From: Phil To: Dan im in makeup for a weird photoshoot for some korean clothing brand and they just put loads of silver goo in my hair to make it chromey

As Dan is reading the message, searching between the lines for a reason Phil might be telling him this information, another text pings through.

From: Phil To: Dan whoops, i kinda meant to send that to PJ. but hey, if you’re interested, here’s a pic of me with ‘Kpop Idol Silver Hair Paste’ in lol xx

From: Phil To: Dan [image]

The phone slips from Dan’s fingers, clattering through his legs to the floor of the staff room. Phil has sent him a selfie. An un-edited, un-Instagrammed photo of his breathtaking face, up close. Sure, there’s a weird silvery goop in his usually raven hair, but still. Gingerly, Dan retrieves the phone, a small, strangled sound escaping from his throat as he surveys the image in front of him.

It makes a little more sense now that Phil has informed him that he had actually mistakenly texted the original message, but did the guy really have to follow up with a photo? He must, surely, be aware of Dan’s crush. He witnessed the brunt of Dan’s obsessive stalking in person on his phone, after all.

Bagel entirely forgotten, Dan just stares down into the pixelated blue of Phil Lester’s eyes, wondering how to respond, and if he even should. Deciding eventually that it would be rude not to, Dan shakily types out something he hopes is vaguely witty.

From: Dan To: Phil hahaha wow :’) kpop? more like kpoop. (it looks like bird poop, sorry dude.) x

From: Phil To: Dan hahaha it does ur so right. and if you think thats bad you should see the outfits… xx

Settling back into his chair, Dan bites his lip. As he thinks of a potential response, his eyes wander over to the spot, just to the right of him, where he and Phil had stood not long ago, when it had seemed like maybe, possibly, Phil might’ve…

But obviously that’s absurd. 

Dan’s wishful thinking had clearly driven him to the point of hallucination, because the very notion that Phil Lester, AmazingPhil, the famous Instagram model, would ever have looked at Dan as anything more than a random bartender, is laughable.

Dan sighs to himself, then smirks. Well, just because he has no chance, doesn’t mean he can’t utilise his semi-connection to the celebrity to get some behind-the-scenes footage of his fave.

From: Dan To: Phil well now i have to see x

There’s a noticeable pause, and Dan wonders, panicking vaguely, if he may have pushed too far. Is it a little much to ask this of Phil? Maybe he just won’t respond, and Dan will have to quit his job forever, or maybe just spend his shifts on red alert that Phil will wander into the bar, and hide from him if he does-

He texts back.

From: Phil To: Dan [image]

From: Phil To: Dan hot, right? xx

For two long, uninterrupted minutes, Dan is frozen. Then, he lets out a muffled groan of frustration. The photo Phil sent is a full body shot taken by someone else; he’s dressed in an asymmetrical long white t-shirt with several long rips through the chest, some bright pink camouflage trousers, and a shiny silver puffer jacket with a black fur-lined hood. The outfit is a complete disaster, but it doesn’t matter in the slightest. His chest is visible through the slits in the tee; having seen it twice now IRL, Dan is drawn to the slivers he can see. The trousers make his eyes pop, and the jacket matches the silver streaked through his hair.

His pose is casual, feet apart, smirking at the camera, with his hands gesturing to his body as if to say ‘see what i mean?’. If he’d posted this on his Instagram, Dan gets the feeling he’d have saved it to his camera roll anyway, maybe even made it his phone background.

Dan’s done that with a few of his favourite photos of Phil in the past. He won’t even dwell on the time when Phil posted a photo of himself in the bath and Dan, in a semi-sleep-deprived fit of insanity, printed the photo out and stuck it on his wall.

Tyler came over once, weeks later, saw the photo taped above Dan’s bed, and tore the thing down. He’d told Dan, quite rightly, to stop being such a creep and keep his crazed obsessive behaviour to social media like everyone else.

“Who even has physical photos these days?? You’re like a fucking serial killer!”

Dan chuckles at this memory. He’s glad for Tyler, sometimes, even if he’s only good for keeping Dan’s stalkerish behaviour within the realms of normalcy.

Belatedly, he realises it’s been over five minutes and he still hasn’t responded to Phil. Also, his break is close to being over.

From: Dan To: Phil woww. please, phil of the future, tell me what life is like in 2087 x

From: Phil To: Dan stawwp. i keep laughing out loud at what ur saying and now the designer is sending me death glares :’’’D xx

Trying hard to ignore the fact that his dorky jokes are apparently literally making Phil ‘lol’, Dan checks the time, and sighs, typing out another message.

From: Dan To: Phil is the designer a martian? or maybe secretly one of those reptile-people? maybe skin him just to be safe. also my break is over so i gtg. have fun on set of NASA’s moonlanding recreation x

From: Phil To: Dan aww ur at work too? that sux. i forgot that u work at night lol. hope u stay dry this evening ;) xx

From: Dan To: Phil speaking of… why are u at work? isnt it kind of late for a photoshoot? x

From: Phil To: Dan well its 8am here so no haha xx

From: Dan To: Phil where are you? x

From: Phil To: Dan seoul :) hence the… unusual fashion lol xx

Dan’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead. He stands from his chair, throws his half eaten bagel in the trash, and looks around himself. He’s in the staff room - a small, dusty space with a row of falling apart lockers, a couple of chairs and a small table. There’s a hook on the wall which holds a load of unused aprons, and a rusty heater for when it’s especially cold.

He’s about to go back out to serve a load of rowdy customers some overpriced cocktails, then mop a dancefloor sticky with sweat, alcohol, and whatever other liquids might have found their way there. Then, he’s going to go back to his crummy flat way across in Kemptown, unfold his sofabed, and fall asleep to Netflix.

Phil, on the other side of the world in Korea, is having his hair, makeup and wardrobe done by professionals. He’s being treated like a celebrity, no doubt, and pampered excessively. Later, he’ll receive high-definition, professional photographs of himself looking gorgeous, and post them to his Instagram, where millions of people will tell him how stunning he looks.

Dan sighs to himself. How the other half lives.

*

The following day, Dan wakes up to find that Phil has updated his Instagram story, and posted the photo with the silver goo in his hair. The same one he’d sent to Dan. The caption reads:

Not sure silver hair was a good idea! The designer was going for Kpop, but ended up with Kpoop… can’t wait to show you guys the photos from this shoot! xx

Two things cross Dan’s mind.

First, Dan can now officially state that he had a sneak-peek at an official AmazingPhil photo before it was posted.

Second, the bitch totally stole his joke.

He smiles to himself ruefully, then decides to leave a comment. There’s no way that Phil will even see it - he’s never seen any of Dan’s others, or at least Dan sincerely hopes he hasn’t, as they’re mostly things like ‘choke me’ or ‘slap me round the face with your yaoi hands dad’.

Okay, maybe he tends to leave those sorts of comments when he’s less than sober.

This time, Dan just taps out a simple:

danisnotonfire: joke stealing is a low form of theft phil smh ;)

Still smiling to himself, Dan rolls over onto his side, and settles in to watch Phil’s story. The stories are usually long, silly, and full of adorable clips of Phil being clumsy and cute. As expected, this one is no exception. It’s a tour of Phil’s hotel room in Seoul, which is very posh.

Phil exclaims over the origami hand towels on his bed, the robe provided for him in the wardrobe, and the multiple options on the ‘disco shower’ as he calls it. Just as Dan is marvelling at the panoramic shot Phil has filmed of his view from the balcony, a notification pings at the top of his screen.

amazingphil replied to your comment: joke stealing is…

Dan sits bolt upright in bed, the sheets falling off him. He runs a hand through his messy hair, eyes wide. He clicks the notification before it disappears, heart pounding.

Oh no, oh no, oh no. Dan hadn’t intended for him to actually see. What if Phil thinks he’s being rude? He doesn’t actually mind Phil stealing his stupid joke about the hair goo. It’s an honour, if anything, that Phil finds his dumb joke good enough to post as a caption millions of people will read.

Heart thrumming, Dan finds the response Phil left.

danisnotonfire: joke stealing is a low form of theft phil smh ;)

amazingphil: @danisnotonfire aha i was kinda hoping you wouldn’t see ;D

Another notification pings at the top of his screen.

amazingphil started following you

“Holy shit,” Dan says to nobody.

amazingphil liked your photo

“Fuck,” Dan squeaks, clutching his pillow for support. “Stop it Phil, I’m gonna have a heart attack.”

Curious, Dan clicks the last notification, wondering which photo it was that Phil pressed the little heart for. To his surprise, it’s a selfie, one he took at work around a month ago. He took it during a lull between serving, if he remembers correctly. The lighting hadn’t been awful when he was doing his hourly fringe check in his phone camera, so he’d snapped a pic. It’s nothing special, just a moody expression and a wash of pink lighting across one half of his face.

amazingphil commented on your photo

amazingphil: nice pout ;) xx

Dan falls back into the pillows, mind obliterating itself into a thousand, tiny pieces.

*

Over the next few weeks, Dan has several text conversations with Phil. They’re usually started by Phil himself, who will - out of what Dan assumes is boredom - sometimes send him a random meme, a musing about his surroundings, or a selfie. For obvious reasons, Dan prefers the latter.

No matter how many times Phil reaches out via text, the surreality of it never fails to send Dan’s mind freewheeling. It always knocks the wind out of his lungs, it always makes him stop dead in his tracks, and it always leaves him struggling to recover for the next few hours. Whenever this happens at work, Tyler never fails to tease him mercilessly.

“Whoops! Please excuse him, sir, his mind has been blended by a single text from his crush,” Tyler tells a customer the fifth time Dan drops a glass behind the bar.

Dan scowls at his friend, but doesn’t try to defend himself. It’s true, after all. One text from Phil has him behaving like a moron. He becomes physically inept, unable to make the simplest drink.

One night, after the bar has closed, Dan and Tyler are cleaning up.

“So when’s he gonna stop torturing you over text and come sweep you off your beer-drenched tootsies?”

Dan rolls his eyes at this. “He’s not, Ty. He’s a rich and famous superstar, and I’m clearing up puke for the third day in a row.”

Dan wrinkles his nose as he continues mopping up the patch of vomit. He’s suspicious at this point; three days in a row is unusual. Is the same person coming in each night and spewing their guts all over the dance floor out of spite? Perhaps it’s some sort of hate crime.

“It’s like a Cinderella story!” Ty exclaims, pirouetting around his broom. “Except it’s gay, which makes it even better.”

Dan scoffs at him. “I’m pretty sure fairytales don’t involve stalking someone over social media and having them find out. He’s just taking pity on me because he saw that first night that I’m a fan.” Dan dunks the mop back in the bucket, turning to Tyler. “Besides, I’m pretty sure he has a boyfriend.”

Tyler sucks in a scandalised breath. “What! Who?”

Dragging the mop back to the supply closet, Dan laughs. “Remember the drunk guy he came with? The one who gave me a lovely Rainforest shower?”

“Him?”

Dan sighs, locks the cupboard, and nods. He digs into his pocket for his phone, and brings it over to show Tyler the photo of Phil and Charlie kissing. Matt, the security guard wanders over to see as well, letting out a low whistle.

“He’s a nonce if he thinks that guy’s behaviour was attractive,” Matt says. “He puked ‘soon as I got him out the door that night. All over the pavement.”

Dan looks at Matt, tilting his head in interest. “He did?”

Tyler plucks the phone out of Dan’s hand, zooming into the photo to have a better look, a frown on his face.

“Yep, your friend there came out, called him an Uber and sent him off,” Matt says. “Doubt pukey there would’ve made it home without him.”

“Nice guy,” Dan mutters, cheeks warm.

“This is staged,” Tyler announces abruptly.

“What?”

“Look,” he says, bringing the phone back over for Dan to see.

He zooms in on the crux of the kiss, right onto Phil’s face. Dan grimaces.

“Ty, I don’t want to see-”

“Shut up and look at his face,” Tyler interrupts, grabbing Dan’s chin and angling it towards the phone. “See how his lips are puckered? All stiff and pointed, like he’s kissing his grandma. And his eyes are open.”

“He’s looking at the camera!”

“Nah, Tyler’s right mate,” Matt says. The gum he’s chewing is making gross squishy sounds right in Dan’s ear as he leans over to look. “He looks awkward as hell.”

Dan narrows his eyes at the photo, trying to see what the others see.

“Besides, didn’t you say he hated that guy?” Tyler asks, clicking off the photo.

Dan tuts, snatching his phone back. “Well, apparently he was just being nice to compensate for the fact his kissing buddy covered me in sugary cocktail.”

He makes the smart decision to step away from this preposterous conversation before he does something stupid. Like allow either of these morons to give him hope that Phil is actually single.

Not that Phil being single would even matter.

“Or he was making it clear that he’s available!” Tyler calls after him as Dan stalks over to the staff room. “He whipped his shirt off for you twice and gave you his number. Do you think he’d do that if he had a boyfriend?”

“Drop it, Ty!” Dan calls back, shutting the staff room door behind him.

He will not let himself fall into the trap of daring to believe he could get someone as gorgeous, as hilarious, as pure and… amazing, as Phil Lester. 

He won’t.

*

This is a good philosophy, in theory.

In practise, it turns out to be a lot more difficult. Dan finds this out to his cost when Phil strolls into Habenero the following Friday with Charlie Hickory at his side. Dan’s stomach sinks as soon as he sees the pair, the butterflies that appear each time Phil so much as acknowledges exploding into dust the moment he registers who Phil is here with.

Phil makes a beeline for the bar, a big smile on his face as he sees Dan. Warily, Dan smiles back, very aware that he is not exactly Charlie’s biggest fan.

“Dan!” Phil sings, chipper as ever.

Blushing already, Dan waves an awkward hand. He will never, he’s sure, get used to hearing his name on Phil Lester’s lips. “Hi. You’re back.”

“Of course! This is my local hangout now,” Phil says, winking. “Great cocktails, cute bar staff, crazy Bingo nights… this place has got it all.”

“Some people might not agree with you about the cocktails,” Dan can’t help himself saying, glancing at Charlie.

Charlie shuffles awkwardly on the spot. “Right,” he says, casting a look at Phil. They share a look that seems loaded with something Dan is not privy to, and then Charlie sighs, turning to Dan. “I wanted to, uh, apologise. About last time. Totally not cool of me to… tell you off like that. I was wasted.”

For an awkward moment, Dan waits for the actual word ‘sorry’ to leave Charlie’s mouth. It becomes obvious fairly swiftly that the dude feels he’s already said enough, so Dan just gives him a tight smile, and clears his throat.

“Oh, yeah man,” he says. “Let’s just… move on, I guess.”

If Charlie won’t say sorry, then Dan’s sure as hell not going to say he forgives him.

“So, drinks?” Phil asks, seeming to sense the taut atmosphere. “Maybe not cocktails?”

Dan can’t help the splutter of laughter, but Charlie shoots a dagger-like glare Phil’s way. It makes Dan’s lip curl; how could anyone be angry with Phil, of all people?

“Maybe some beers?” Dan suggests, teeth clenched. “We have a load of craft beers, or if you’re more into spirits I could make you guys a-”

“I’ll have a vodka and light tonic, no ice,” Charlie interrupts. “A double. If you use regular tonic, I will know.”

“Charlie,” Phil hisses under his breath.

They exchange another loaded look, and again Charlie sighs, turning to Dan with a fake smile. “Please.”

Swallowing the urge to roll his eyes, Dan nods, then gladly turns his attention to Phil. “And for you?”

“Oh,” Phil says, like it’s only just occurred to him that he needs to order as well. “God, I’m so bad at deciding, err…”

As he’s dithering, Charlie sighs. “Are you cool to get these, Phil? I’m gonna go find us a table.”

“You don’t wanna dance?”

“Not in the mood.”

Phil nods, obviously disappointed. “Okay, yeah, I’ll meet you in the back.”

With that, Charlie is gone, slipping into the crowd. The look of distaste must be more evident on Dan’s face than he thinks, because Phil laughs at it.

“I know,” Phil says. “But he does have a few… marginally amiable qualities.”

‘Why have you chosen to be with someone that’s marginally amiable when you’re so great,’ is what Dan wants to ask. Instead, he simply shrugs, deciding to change the subject.

“Have you decided on a drink yet? I’d better get on with making his low-cal dishwater.”

Phil laughs a little, then leans forwards, his smile deepening as he leans across the bar. “Surprise me.”

Something sparks a roman candle in Dan’s stomach, and his skin prickles with the heat it creates. He drags his eyes free of Phil’s with some difficulty, nodding, and turns to make the drinks.

He prepares Phil a ‘PopQueen’ cocktail, which is one of their most popular. It’s inspired by popcorn, along with the trio of Pop Queens that rule the gay music scene: Gaga, RiRi, and Bey. The moscato vodka base is made from Italian grapes to represent Gaga’s heritage, the spiced rum is a shoutout to Bey’s favourite drink, and Riri comes in in the form of a smoky splash of passion fruit bitter. The rest is topped up with popcorn syrup, lemonade, a sprinkle of caramel popcorn kernels, and as many sparkly cocktail sticks as Dan can fit in.

He explains the whole concoction to Phil as he presents it, a little smug because he knows this is an impressive looking cocktail. It’s probably his favourite one to make; the Viniq shimmery moscato vodka makes the drink swirl and shimmer - always exceptionally pretty.

Sure enough, Phil’s mouth drops open at the sight of it. “Okay wow,” Phil says, chuckling. “I’m gonna get drunk tonight, aren’t I?”

“If that’s your plan, this should definitely help you on your way,” Dan says, laughing too. “I wouldn’t recommend having a second if you want to remember your evening.”

Phil leans forwards to take a sip of the PopQueen, moaning around the straw, much to Dan’s dismay. He plucks one of the popcorn pieces off and eats it, eyes closed. In related news, Dan struggles not to fall to the floor. “Dan, you are an artiste,” Phil says. “Popcorn is my all time favourite food.”

“Oh, wow, that’s... lucky, I guess,” Dan stammers, a swell of pride surging up into his chest. “Glad you like it.”

“So, how much?”

“Oh, on the house.” Dan smiles, sliding the cocktail across the bar along with Charlie’s vodka tonic. “I feel bad for not letting you in on the forfeit for Bingo last time.”

The look on Phil’s face softens into something so sweet Dan can taste sugar on his tongue. 

“You don’t have to do that,” Phil says softly.

“It’s fine, really,” Dan assures him, all but sliding his elbows across the bar towards him. “I insist.”

A twitch in the corner of Phil’s mouth, and then he’s leaning across the bar. It happens slowly, but Dan still manages to be caught off guard. One moment, he’s watching, bemused, as Phil inches towards him, and the next there’s a light press of paper-soft lips to his cheek. A scratch of stubble grazes over Dan’s skin as Phil leans away.

“Thanks,” Phil tells him, smiling. “You’re sweet, Dan.”

And then he’s turning away, drinks in hand, slipping into the mass of people.

*

For the next few hours, Dan hopes for Phil to return to the bar for another round. He waits, eagerly, for this moment to come. Instead, Charlie is the one who brings his and Phil’s glasses back over, and waves to flag down Dan’s attention.

He nods in acknowledgement, finishing up the drinks order he’s in the middle of, and sidling over to Charlie. He forces a strained smile.

“Same again?”

“Yeah,” Charlie says, digging out his phone. “And a couple of vodka shots.”

He says nothing else, eyes glued to his phone screen. Dan waits for a moment before moving off, eyes stuck to Charlie’s face. He’s the kind of gorgeous that shouldn’t exist in real life. Unblemished, tanned skin. Clean, dark stubble, lacing his perfect, razorblade jawline. His hair is a swoop of glossy mahogany; even the cut of it looks expensive.

Charlie’s eyes flick up to Dan’s, obviously questioning why he’s staring, so Dan nods, embarrassed, and hurries to make the drinks. From a superficial standpoint, it’s obvious why Phil is with Charlie. Obviously, in Dan’s eyes, Phil is the most attractive man on the planet, but that’s just because he’s Dan’s type. Even he can tell that Charlie is objectively a beautiful human being.

It’s just a shame about everything below the surface level.

Dan pours the two shots Charlie ordered. “All together it’s twenty pounds, please.”

Charlie snorts, then pockets his phone at last. “Figures you’d give Phil the discount.”

He pulls out a twenty and slaps it on the counter.

“Sorry, I can’t give you guys free drinks all night.”

Charlie just stares back at him, a faint, knowing smile caught on his dusty pink lips. One of this thick eyebrows is slightly quirked, sliding an irritation under Dan’s skin. “Listen, Danny, is it?”

“Dan,” he grits.

“Dan,” Charlie says, leaning across the bar. “A little advice, yeah? Don’t be so transparent. It just comes across as pathetic.”

He downs both the shots in quick succession, baffling Dan, who is frozen, mortified, to the spot. Before his brain can thaw enough to stammer out some witty rebuttal, Charlie has swept the drinks off the counter, and is moving away.

Cheeks burning, Dan turns around, trying to calm his boiling blood. He squeezes his fists together, counting to ten, the way he makes himself after all encounters with dickhead customers.

“Hey, sweetcheeks, can we get some drinks over here, please?”

With a deep sigh, Dan unclenches his fists, and turns to the next customer.

*

At around one in the morning, Dan runs to the bathroom for a minute, and on his way, he sees Charlie. He’s against the wall of the club, near the DJ booth. There’s a muscular, dark-skinned man pressing him there; their faces are close. Dan can’t stop, he’s left Tyler and Dodie to the mercy of the drunks in their worst state - things get rowdy an hour before closing - and he needs to get back there. So, instead, he simply tucks the image away in his mind, to think about later on.

That man, leant against Charlie in a less-than-innocent seeming stance, was certainly not Phil, after all. As he exits the bathroom, he notices that Charlie is gone, as is whoever was with him.

*

At 1:55am, the lights come on. As usual, an enormous groan chants out of the crowd of patrons on the dance floor, followed by a few pairs awkwardly stepping out of the shadows, some squinting and eye-covering, and the slow, jelly-legged walk to the coat-check area.

“I think I just saw some guy getting up off his knees in the corner,” Tyler says despondently. “Shotgun not mopping the floor tonight.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Dan sighs. “On the dance floor? Really? Why can’t they suck each other off in the bathroom like normal people?”

“Oh, there were definitely people doing that in one of the stalls about an hour ago,” someone says to Dan’s right. The voice, for some reason, sends the hairs up on the back of Dan’s neck.

He turns, wondering when Matt’s voice got so low, only to find that Phil has perched himself on one of the bar stools, the dregs of his cocktail still in a glass in front of him. For a moment, Dan is too stunned at the sight of him to reply. Then, he registers that the lights are on, and cringes, knowing he likely looks frightful. Phil, of course, looks radiant as ever even under the harsh fluorescents, apart from a faint tiredness, visible in the dark circles underneath his eyes.

“You’re still here,” Dan comments. “I thought you guys had gone.”

“Charlie left,” Phil says, looking away from Dan. “Or I assume he did.”

Out of sight, Tyler catches Dan’s eye, making an obscene gesture with his hands before snickering and running off in the direction of the supply closet. Dan just glares after him, pink-cheeked, and turns back to Phil.

“Wait, he left without telling you?”

One of Phil’s shoulders moves towards his neck, then falls. “He does that.”

“Wow that’s… kind of shitty.”

As soon as the words are out, Dan regrets them. He can’t help but think of Charlie’s comment from earlier; it rings in his ears as if the guy had screamed it at him.

Don’t be so transparent. It just comes across as pathetic.

He was right, probably, though Dan had hated hearing it. He should stop being such a suck-up. It must be awkward and cringey for Phil to see Dan so obviously smitten.

Still, Phil throws him a faint smile. “It’s cool. He’s just a flaky guy. A bit of a princess. He grew up rich, so he’s always been a bit superficial. I’m trying to wring the bourgeoisie out of his blue blood.”

Dan snorts with laughter. “In my experience, you can’t filter the dickishness out of people very easily.”

There’s a silence, then. Phil regards him with a faintly curious expression.

“Maybe I’m wrong,” Dan says once the silence gets too uncomfortable. He shrugs, grabbing the rag from his back pocket and starting to wipe down the bar. “I don’t know the guy, really. I’ve just had a couple of unfortunate experiences with him.”

“Oh no,” Phil says, face falling. “What did he do this time?”

Dan laughs, bitterly. “Don’t worry about it. He’s just a little mouthy, is all.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

“So, when do you get to leave this place?” Phil asks, playing with his glass. He still hasn’t drunk the remainder of his cocktail. “Or do you sleep here?”

“On weekdays, the bar closes at two, so I get out of here at around two-thirty.”

“Christ,” Phil mutters. “And I thought my job was long hours.”

A laugh bursts out of Dan’s throat, but he covers it as best he can with a cough, turning away. Busying himself with ‘dusting’ some liquor bottles, Dan tries to compose a straight face. Is Phil honestly going to try and argue that his job is difficult? When was the last time that guy ever grabbed a broom, or handled someone’s sticky change?

In a minute, Dan is going to go into the corner of the dance floor, get down on his knees, and clean up some randomer’s come. A few weeks ago he saw Phil swanning about a five-star hotel in Korea. If AmazingPhil’s worst complaint is that he had to have a few questionable outfit choices put on him, and some silvery goo in his hair, then he needs a reality check.

Nevertheless, Dan knows that he can’t say any of this. Not only would he never dream of insulting Phil Lester, but it’s pointless to try and explain the differences between classes to someone in a privileged position. They’ve usually forgotten how to understand.

“Are you close by, at least?” Phil asks, interrupting Dan’s thoughts.

Dan turns back to him. “Kemptown. It’s half an hour’s walk, more or less.”

“You walk?” Phil asks, eyebrows skyrocketing towards his quiff. “At two in the morning?”

“Five in the morning on weekends,” Dan confirms, hiding a smile at Phil’s surprise. “It’s okay, you get used to it. Besides, it’s mostly just drunk idiots chugging cans of cider and threatening to run into the sea. Not too scary.”

Despite Dan’s reassurance, the look of pity and concern on Phil’s face doesn’t subside. After a while, Dan turns from it, feeling awkward. He busies himself with clearing away the last of the empty glasses, yawning into the crook of his elbow. Tonight was rough.

“You should crash at mine,” Phil blurts.

Sure he must have misheard, Dan faces Phil slowly. “Um, what?”

“If you’re exhausted, I mean.” Phil fidgets, fingers tapping against his glass. “Like, on the nights you can’t face walking all the way home, you can totally just sleep on my sofa.”

Speechless, Dan simply stares.

“The couch is pretty comfy,” Phil continues in a ramble, not meeting Dan’s eye. “And my flat is just up the road, literally like a minute away. I’m not saying, y’know, come over every night, ‘cause obviously… that might be an issue, but you can absolutely stay round on, say, Saturday nights when you finish later. That wouldn’t be a problem.”

He’s just being nice. That’s Dan’s only explanation. Phil Lester is a sweetheart of a person, and he got so worried about the hypothetical danger involved in Dan’s walks home, that he offered something big, even though he didn’t really mean it.

Dan is a stranger to him. He needs to decline the polite offer, and let Phil off the hook he accidentally created to string himself up on.

So, Dan forces out a small chuckle, and says: “Oh, no, it’s really fine. Thanks for the offer, that’s really good of you, but I quite like the walk. It’s a nice come down after a busy night.”

Phil nods, chewing his lip. He looks unconvinced. “I’m not just saying it, though.” His voice has dropped to a lower tone. “Like tonight… you’re so tired, I can see it. Just grab some sleep at mine before you head back across town.”

As soon as Phil mentions it, the quilt of his own exhaustion flops around his shoulders, dragging Dan’s bones towards the floor. He tries to picture the stumble back to his crummy flat in Kemptown, loathing each imaginary step.

“You barely know me,” Dan says - one last attempt at refusal.

Sensing he’s won, Phil smiles very slightly, then downs the rest of his cocktail at last. “I don’t know if it’s just me, Dan, but I have this feeling that we’re going to be good friends.”

(Part 4!)

[orangejuicex3-mieoi]

What is the craziest/rudest thing a follower has said/done to you, that your still raw about

gosh rudest is so hard to pin point bc so many followers have been like cussy rude to me before but like this wasnt evenn like that like they never  cussed. this is the first thing that comes to mind with rudeness bc it was recent but i had this like, not even a follower, message me BEGGGING for a shoutout for their insta. and i was like lmao.....like i dont mind shouting ppl out its just diff if u ask and u dont even follow me and ur name is “yaoisex” or some shit like... im good... and then i was like lolololo if i did that what would i get? yknow humoring it bc like im not gonig to do it but im curious and they go “wed shout u out too!” i checked and they had 2 followers at the time so i just LMAOOOO 

i left it alone right? then they text me again around like a month or so later with the same “PLEASE SHOUT US OUT!” this time they have 1k so i thought they mustve begged a lot of people or something with the only content on their insta being like reposts of yaoi drawings.. so i say “you dont even follow me im good” THEN THEY GO “so if we do follow you will you?” and i say “no’ and i checked and LMAOAOO THEY RLY STARTED FOLLOWING ME JUST FOR THIS DAMN SHOUTOUT IM GOOODDDDDDDDDDDDD

and as far as crazy goes theres like 3 incidents that stick out

one was when a dude WHO I MUSTVE TALKED TO LIKE ONCE sent me a picture of a like a pornstar or something that was like a transdude right? alREADY ITS FUCKING WEIRD TO SEND PEOPLE WHO U DONT REALLY KNOW PORN BUT WHATEVER and i kinda humoredit bc the content i do put out doesnt reek of like sfw so i humored it and was like “LOL” BUT THEN THEY PISSED ME OFF THEY WERE LIKE “too bad they have a pussy! thought i was gay and never really into girls but he could make me go straight.” and i was like “good thing hes not a girl then because youre still gay after liking him!” and he said something like “kinda.... they have a pussy tho.” AND THEN I GOT LIKE... IRRITATED AND i forgot how it ended but i ended up blocking him for the transphobic shit like im not one to rly give a fuck but like dont come to me wit ur transphobic humor like its not rly funny lmaoo

and then another incident was when a guy messaged me like daily, not even a bad artist either, and drew like porn of my characters. LIKE I HONESTLY WOULDNT MIND IF PPL DREW NSFW OF MY CHARACTERS LIKE I ODNT CARE BUT LIKE THis DUDE MADE IT CREEPY!!! he would none stop message me 

and last incident i cant even tell if they were a follower or not but thE DAMN DEDICATION THEY PUT INTO PAYING ATTENTION TO ME they might as well have been. so one day on a stream i had a very base sketch down, and if yall know what thats like for me its super sloppy LMAOOO i dont do clean sketches, so this person comes in and is like “my friend told me to check u out because they like ur art.” and then they go “but im disappointed ill leave now bye! :)” or some shit like that so me and skylar r like LMAOHIGFIFH joking around about it like how this dude gave me a trauma like it was whatever id never rly experienced a passive aggressively rude person like that on a stream LMAOOO

so i thought it was done right? after that theyd show up EVERY SINGLE STREAM and they did this in a row for probably about 5 streams. theyd come in and just say some like weak insults like “I HOPE U IMPROVE!!! U NEVER IMPROVE WOW UR ART IS GROSS IT SUCKS” like lmaooooo id just block them after humoring them a wittle bit for the funn and they mustve followed me to keep track of my stream updates it was just kinda funny

[striddums]

I'm mostly concerned on you reblogging posts that silence abuse victims and overlook how they feel just because you guys want to ship your yaois. Please reread the one post you reblogged. I understand your happiness for bakudeku (idc for bnha so idk the discourse behind it) but a post telling people to get over their personal feelings as abuse victims JUST so they can leave u guys to ship ur yaoiz alone is. So Fucked Up. Also OP of that post is a fujoshi who says "antis" unironically

are you talking about this post?

i’m not sure if you are but if so i don’t really get where u got the ‘silencing’ part from…? they seem very respectful towards abuse victims, telling them their feelings are valid and important. saying they’re definitely never obliged to forgive their past abusers and stuff like that, and absolutely NOT telling people to “get over their personal feelings”! the only point they’re trying to make is that it’s not right for someone to attack others for liking a ship that they project their past on… cause those characters are not them

and that’s the thing - no one is saying people can’t be uncomfortable with the ship for their own personal reasons. heck, no one is even saying u can’t outright hate it for whatever reason u have! the problem lies with how vicious some people can truly act towards others in this fandom for liking a certain ship… outright attacking them and stuff. it’s not nice

that’s what the OP meant and what my reasoning behind reblogging it was - sorry if it came off as wrong. i never want to make light of or belittle the feelings of people who have suffered from abuse, or still are. their feelings & problems are so much more important than an anime; a work of fiction. all we’re saying is that those two things aren’t directly linked, so we’d prefer if people stopped acting as if they are.it’s not about diminishing a persons feelings and past experiences so we can “ship our yaoiz”, it’s pointing out that those two things should be kept separate.

katsudeku is a very controversional and delicate ship so there’s a LOT of discourse around it. like a lot a lot - i’ve never been a fan of a couple that made me feel like walking on egg shells quite as much as this one, haha! so i understand if you saw that one post as an outsider it might rub you the wrong way, wondering why people would throw abuse victims into this, but it’s all part of a very long debate that’s been going on on tumblr since before i even joined the bnha fandom. people who dislike the ship were the first to mention ‘abuse’.

though i… slightly… doubt you truly don’t care about bnha and the discourse, since you called them “bakudeku” while on my blog i’ve only been calling them “katsudeku” as of late, and to use that other shipname i kinda feel u know more about the matter… since that’s what all the people who hate the couple & find them abusive call it… but i shouldn’t jump to conclusions. i’m so sorry if i’m wrong.

also again - katsudeku isn’t yaoi.

it feels kinda dirty to pull this card but… please stop reducing m/m couples (including from anime) to yaoi

also yeah when people use “antis” unironically it makes my toes curl too, but doing that doesn’t automatically make them a fujoshi either. listen i know there’s some people in this fandom who ship the couple but are basically only interested in a hot, sexual relationship between them - and i steer as clear away from those people as possible. they make up about only 2% of all the shippers

[sadspottedpanda]

Swipe Right for Awkwardness (FFXV FANFIC) - Ch 1

It's been a long day for Noctis Caelum. He's serious about finishing his education and getting a degree, but he just can't deal with all those long, boring lectures given in consistently monotnous tones by disintersted, bespectacled professors. Aside from that, he has to deal with other students constantly trying to "befriend" him even though they're more interested in his status and money rather than actually getting to know him. Well, except one. "Hey, Noct!" A friendly voice belonging to a handsome, blond, freckled boy with an eccentric hairstyle resembling a chocobo's behind calls out to him. The sight of him brings a smile to Noct's lips. "C'mon, let's get out of here! It's time for our date!" Noctis mouths a quick "sorry" to the group of girls surrounding him as he's pulled away by Prompto Argentum, his best friend and the guy fangirls keep pairing him with like some wishful yaoi OTP. It's not like he minds though, since Prompto's been the only person who sees him as him and not as some privileged rich kid. He feels comfortable with Prompto and their friendship has only grown and deepened since they first met in high school. "Thanks for getting me out of there. You're the best, Prom." Noct says with a grateful sigh. "Couldn't just stand and watch you get mobbed. Last time that happened, I think you almost died!" "Yeah...almost." "Anyway, let's go grab something to eat. We're on a date after all!" "Oh, are we now?" Noctis rolls his eyes and laughs. It's not the first time he and Prompto's gone out on a "date" and he thought nothing more of it than his best friend's way of saying "hey, let's hang out." In all honesty, he thought it was endearing. Prompto never had any real friends either growing up, just like him, and when they first met, they clung to each other through thick and thin. Noctis was just hoping they wouldn't end up drunk and shamelessly displaying their questionable singing abilities on the streets of Insomnia like last time. "Wait, where are you taking me, Prom? Please don't tell me it's another one of those seedy bars you found on Moogle or that overpriced cafe by the station." Noctis groans. "Even better!" Prompto seemed to be very excited, worrying Noctis. His friend had a penchant for finding establishments of debatable quality. "We're almost there!" As Noctis began thinking of possible ways to get him and Prompto out fast if they end up being maligned by some punks in some backstreet pub, Prompto stops and practically squeals. "Isn't it beautiful?!" Noct looks around. They're on the promenade with great views of the ocean. The sun has begun to set and the sky's turning a fiery orange. Noctis thinks, "This isn't too bad. Open skies, a nice breeze, great view, and -" "CUP NOODLE TRUCK!" Prompto's excitied exclamation breaks Noctis' train of thought. "Wait, what?" Noctis is helpless as Prompto drags him to the vehicle reeking of the aroma of seafood, beef, and steam. "This is your idea of a date? That's it, I'm breaking up with you." "Aww, c'mon Noct..." Prompto gives him the most adorable pout ever and Noctis caves in. He has a weakness for cute faces, and Prompto makes the cutest ones. It's unfair. They order two steaming cups and take their places on the edge of a pier. It's a quiet day on the shore and they have the whole pier to themselves. Prompto's busily slurping on his noodles while Noctis takes his time picking out the little bits of vegetables on his. "Hey Prom, this is nice for a change." "What do you mean for a change?!" Prompto looks hurt. "I mean, it's nice not to be drunk for once." Noctis chuckles. "It's just you, me, and...cup noodles." Prompto leans on Noctis. "Romantic, isn't it?" Noctis wraps his arm around his best friend's shoulders. "I guess. We do make a pretty good couple." They sit there quietly watching the sunset as Noctis contemplates on what he just said. He can't deny that he and Prompto could get really intimate at times and it felt natural. Hell, it made him feel good and warm inside. He can't quite explain it, but when Prompto's around, he feels complete and happy. If only he had the courage to tell him he might have a small crush on him, but he pushes the idea to the side. After all, Prompto might not even be interested in him that way. "Hey, Noct. Watcha thinking?" "Huh?" Noctis mind returns to reality and sees Prompto looking at him. "Oh, nothing. I'm just enjoying this thing we're doing." "Same, dude. Never thought I'd actually have a friend like you." "That makes two of us." The sun finally takes its leave for the day, leaving the two illuminated by a dim light from an overhead lightpost. Noctis pokes Prompto, who looks like he's just about to give in to the creeping feeling of sleepiness. "Hey, we better get back. The sun's already down." Prompto groans. "Do we have to? You're like the most comfortable pillow ever." "C'mon" Noctis laughs and playfuly punches Prompto. "I'm not sleeping on the pier tonight, but you're welcome to do that." Noctis pulls Prompto up and they start walking back to the apartment they shared. It was a big, fancy loft occupying the top floors of a nice residential building Regis Caelum - Noctis' dad and the ever-busy president of Lucis Industries - got for him for his 18th birthday. The two boys kick their shoes off in the entryway and Noctis immediately heads for the wide, comfy couch in the living room. Most of the time, he ends up sleeping here even though his room was right up the flight of stairs because he was too lazy to drag himself up. Prompto, on the other hand, either slept in his room or on the floor when he got drunk. Noctis whips out his phone and checks his messages. Nothing much to see except some texts from his dad and Ignis that shared the same topics. Cleaning, laundry, and school. He sighs and locks his phone. Moments later, there's a notification "Hey. Looks like ur close. Wanna do something naughty 2night? ;)" Noctis glances at the stairs before opening the message. It's from a guy on a dating app he uses when he gets...lonely. Hands just don't really work anymore after a few days, so hooks up every now and then with a cute dude. Normally, he does the swiping, but this guy beat him to it. Noctis opens the guy's profile and checks the info. The profile pic is headless, but the slim, lean body that greets him makes his cock stir. It's completely smooth, except for a thin line of blond pubes leading to a significsnt bulge hiding behind a towel. "Maybe. What's under the towel?" The guy replies quickly. "Nothing much." Seconds later, it's followed by a pic of a gorgeous, curved cock. It's been way too long since he's had one of those and he bites his lip. "Can't wait to ride it." Noctis sends a pic of his own gorgeous dick and gets a reply almost immediately. "Damn. Tell u what. I'll ride u if u ride me. Deal?" "Deal. Meet up at the old motel at Ulrich and 12th?" "Cool. How much we splitting?" "I got it. Just show up. Txt u the room number when I get in." "Right. Cya. Will wait for ur txt." Noctis sighs happily and heads to his room to change into something a bit more comfortable. He knocks on Prompto's door and lets him know he's going out. "Hey, Prom. I'm heading out for a bit. Don't wait up for me." The door opens slightly and Prompto's face peeks out from behind. He has a wide grin on his face. "You look happy..." "Got a date. Just waiting for hi - erm - her to reply. Yeah!" Noct raises his eyebrow and laughs. "Did you just tell me you're cheating on me? Haha. Fine. Don't get her pregnant, aryt?" "Hey! It's nothing like that!" "Whatever. Enjoy yourself." Noctis waves at Prompto and leaves for the motel. It's not much to look at from outside, effectively masking its true purpose as a pace where trysts of every kind happen. Noctis opts for just a regular, air-conditioned room though he had choices of themed suites. One of them was a chocobo-themed one and he remembered Prompto. The idea of fucking his best friend suddenly infiltrates his mind and he ends up stiff and wanting. He wasn't opposed to the idea and it's not the first time he's imagined him and Prompto naked and fooling around in bed. "Hey. Still there?" "Yeah. U in already?" "Room 702. Just head on up. Lights out and no talking, ok?" "Y, u scared? Lol." "Nah. I just like it dark. Just slip into bed with me when u get here." "Fine. Be there in 10 mins." Noctis throws off his clothes and settles in under the thin blanket. The AC was doing a damn good job of keeping the room cold, but he won't be cold for long. Just like the guy said, he shows up 10 minutes later. Noct could hear the door open and close followed by the sound of clothes being dropped to the floor. The spot next to him gets warmer as the guy slides in next to him. They lie there awkwardly for a good five minutes before Noctis feels the guy squeezing his thigh gently. "Theres no turning back now..." Noctis thinks to himself before turning towards the guy beside him, feeling him up, and engaging the guy's tongue in a wet, noisy battle with his own.