#upsetting lack of Andrés

[generalluxun]

I know it wasn't intended by the writers and even from a purely in universe perspective it was likely not a conscious decision but...

It really does feel like Andre was setting Chloe up for failure.

There's obviously letting doing Sabrina most of Chloe's labor for her thing.

But we also have that whole aspect where he taught her explicitly to cheat, extort, threaten and bribe her way to victory. A strategy that works for him because he's not doing that stuff to the people he wants to vote for him, but that ends up making Chloe hated by her peers.

Similarly, there's encouraging her Audrey impersonation, which even if we ignore the creep factor. Still means he is rewarding her for engaging in damaging and anti social behavior that only serves to make her miserable and more dependent on him.

His total tolerance for Audrey's overt cruelty towards her can also feel like it feeds into this. Again I don't think he is necessarily aware of or planning it, but this still serves to, A, not make Audrey upset with him, and B, mean he remains Chloe's primary source of affirmation and affection.

Add in him in season 1 being willing to act against her if she impacted 'him' negatively and it really does kind of feel like he, at least subconsciously, wanted Chloe to need to hang off of him forever and to generally lack other support networks or avenues of self sufficiency.

I mean, yes. There's a reason I'm very much on the 'Audrey's behavior is bad and abusive, but André's is worse' wagon.

Audrey is openly abusive to those around her, that is clear. She also wants absolutely nothing to do with kids. She removes herself from her daughters lives. She does it out of selfishness, but the net result is she she does not *make* herself a role model.

André on the other hand loves having a kid! They play great with the press. They make for awesome photo opportunities, and now and then he can play family just like in movies! What he doesn't like is *raising* a kid. He himself is horrible an self centered, so he doesn't think that maybe he needs to change his behaviors for the child, so he passes all of his Andreness on to them.

I know guys who were pretty useless until they had a kid, I know guys who are pretty useless with anything that *isn't their kid, but both groups still realize that *parenting* is something you have to do right, something worth changing or at least concealing your worst-self behaviors from. André can't even go that far.

André goes past 'oops haha silly me' or 'overworked parent' tropes too. The man is filthy rich. He could *make* time for his daughter if he wanted to. He also fails so completely on the very basics of parenting when *he has the resources to get help*. It shows he hasn't even really tried.

Well, he tries like a 4yr old tries when they don't want to do something. One half-hearted attempt, then they whine.

How do we have obvious proof, canonically, that this is on André? Look at Zoé. She had as much if not more contact with Audrey, and we are not giving her credit for being a *good* influence, are we? So then it comes down to the influence of the other parent, and what differences does canon show us there? Hmmm.

Look like André is a net negative in a child's life.

Oh and miss me anyone who claims children are just 'bad seeds'. That line of thinking can go jump in a wood chipper.

[wisecrackingeric-2]

Ok I’m FINALLY sitting down and collecting all my thoughts on the 2000’s Hallmark Don Quixote cuz. Oh my god it’s S O GOOD BDNBRNEHDNXJ EXCUSE MY RAMBLINGS I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS

First things first though actually the only reason I went out of my way to watch this movie before any others is cuz when I asked mister André Peña himself told me that that was the film he watched to get into Luis’ role and yeah. Yeeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhh king I can see EXACTLY what parts you took from it BCNHENEJDNSN

The best way I can describe this movie is that it feels like The Princess Bride?? Or a Knights Tale??? Or Ever After like???????? It’s a whimsical adventure following a pair of silly guys doing the best they can!!!!!!!!! It’s charming and the characters are super loveable and it feels like what a Don Quixote movie SHOULD be!!!!!!!!!!

It also has like??? A surprisingly deep message that I wasn’t expecting??????? Like the people around Alonso only ever care about him if they can tease/mock him or view him in a sexual light/want him for his body and that really upsets him and it’s like!!! God damn I wasn’t expecting that!!!!!!!!

Sancho and Don Quixote’s relationship is also really fun, they feel more like an old bickering married couple rather than a devoted/devotee and I swear to god. There were some points I was watching this movie and it felt EXACTLY like some dumb shit Leon and Luis would do and say to each other. AGAIN. I CAN SEE EXACTLY WHERE ANDRÉ GOT HIS INSPIRATION FROM IT WAS UNCANNY ALMOST

Also I really liked how Dulcinea (or at least Alonso’s vision of her) felt like a genuine driving force in the plot!!!!! She’s an actual character that’s cared for rather than The Woman Don Quixote Likes!!!!!! ALSO AGAIN SANCHO WAS SO FUN he’s so genuine and cares about his family and is an actually Caring Guy and his lack of wits feels like it compliments Don Quixote rather than be annoying!!!!!!!! Just in general they compliment each other so well they don’t even need to do any big speeches you can just FEEL how much they care for each other!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALSO OH MY GOD THE ACTION AND THE PRACTICAL EFFECTS. S O MUCH WAS DONE PRACTICALLY AND IT LOOKED S O FUCKING BEAUTIFUL AND THE ACTION WAS ALSO BEAUTIFUL IT WAS SO GOOD AGAIN IT FELT LIKE WATCHING THE PRINCESS BRIDE

But finally. FINALLY. The best part of the movie was EASILY this

CAPCOM/ANDRÉ/WHOEVER WHEN I GET YOU. WHEN I GET YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways here’s the full movie for free if you wanna watch it (WHICH YOU REALLY REALLY SHOULD) cuz this was S O hard to find wtf (THANK YOU SM @ 0039pf-third-blog-hooray !!!)

[starguardianniom]

Marinette the good Lila and Gabriel

Marinette is basically Lila and Gabriel if they were good and super heroes.

Lila and Gabriel basically Marinette if she was evil and a villain.

Lila is a manipulative liar who wants everyone to do stuff in her favors.

Gabriel is a huge control freak that needs to control everything and everyone.

Marinette also is a manipulative liar who lies and manipulate people to get what she wants or to go in her favor or her friend's, and needs to control everything too.

Heck, it seems lying, tricking, deceiving, controlling or manipulating people is the first response of Marinette to whatever problem she or her friends seems to have, and she'll do whatever she can to achieve her goals at times.

It's seriously concerning.

Heck half the time it doesn't even concern her identity as Ladybug, her secrets about it, or just trying to save the day, it just is the solution to either try to confess to Adrien, avoid embarassement, or get her way.

And yet, she hates Lila for her lying and manipulative nature, but she's almost on her level when it comes to lying and deceiving people and it's not even funny and she doesn't seem to be aware of it.

She hates how Gabriel is so controlling of Adrien, yet she keeps a very detailed schedule of his, gets mad when things doesn't go his schedule way, and also doesn't like some people that gets close to him and tries to get them away from him without him having a say about it.

It's been said around in the fandom that Marinette has low empathy.

It's not just that, it's also a glaring lack of self-awareness.

She just thinks something about someone, and then said something actually becomes the truth to her in her mind. She self-projects a lot of what she thinks people would/will do and takes it for the actual reality instead of actually asking/talking to the person.

It throws her on a loop everytime.

And she never learns her lessons.

Despite how many times Tikki and Alya disagree with her and tell her she exaggerates.

I mean, how little can she thinks of people's feelings until she sees first hand how upset and hurt they are after what she's done?

I swear if she would go what she puts them through, she would probably get all mad and furious and want nothing to do with them anymore.

She's lucky pretty much everyone but Lila and Chloé are so forgiving.

Probably why she doesn't learn, she just says sorry and all is good again.

And then she goes and do it again.

I swear to heaven, people complain about how André didn't raise Chloé properly at all, but then, what's Marinette's excuse for her behavior?

Don't tell me Sabine and Tom didn't raise her right, they did.

So why the fuck does Marinette acts like that in the show?

Why does she stalks intensively Adrien and violate his privacy but gets super mad anytime anyone tries to violate her privacy?

Why does she hates liars and manipulators like Lila so much when she lies so much and manipulate a lot of people around her all the same, half the time not even for her duty as Ladybug or even because of her love for Adrien?

How does she hates thieves, but has no problem stealing herself?

How can she says that Chloé and Lila think they're better than everyone else only for herself always think she knows best and people should just go along with what she says?

How can she speaks of freedom yet tries to control everything so she directs everything and everyone must follow her lead and orders?

She knows what's right and what's wrong, her parents taught her the difference, and when she sees feels like it for whatever the situation is at hand, what's wrong is right when SHE is the one doing it for whatever reason it might be at the time because she's a nice person and do it with good intentions in mind (when she's not trying to be self-serving or just plain selfish).

God does she looks and sounds so self-righteous at times.

Tom and Sabine certaintly didn't raise her like that.

I like to think that her becoming Ladybug probably went a bit too much to her head, I feel whatever crap she pulls as Ladybug she thinks it's alright if she pulls it off as Marinette too.

Except no, it doesn't, all it makes her look like is a hypocrite.

Another kind of people she hates, yet she's one of the most hypocritical of them all.

And yet, not aware of it yet it seems.

So now, imagine Marinette, but evil, like Lila and Gabriel.

She's basically them but as a "good guy".

Lila did everything Marinette did before too, lies to her classmates to look good, avoid punishment or embarassement, steal, pretends to be someone else, has way too much picture of the same person, do a lot of trouble to get rid of one person.

No really.

Marinette lied to everyone in Heroes Day because she was embarassed to just have macarons for the class instead of something more heroic like the rest of her classmates and felt the need to avoid embarassing herself after Chloé's jab at her heroic act. She lies a lot to avoid embarassing situations or looking embarassing to Adrien. Stole Adrien's phone in Copycat, the photograph's memory card of his camera in Reflekta, Juleka's bike in Oni-Chan. Pretended to be a guy in Party Crasher so she could get in an all boys party because Adrien was there and lying and ditching her friends to go to it, pretended to be a waiter to break into his house to retrieve Chloé's phone and delete a video of her, has too much pictures of Adrien, helped Chloé humiliate Kagami, later tried to sabotage Kagami in a game and not being fair to her at all, tried to prevent her from going to London with Adrien only to be shot down by her friends, among other things that some of them aren't even for protecting her identity as Ladybug or saving the city.

I swear to god she's the most problematic character in the whole show.

And she's the freaking protagonist of the show.

[a-chlolix-blog]

Scarabée and Kitty Claws AU

Dupli-Cat. The slanderous and smitten Kitten.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alix was on her way to Roller Derby practice at the Flying Wheels Arena roller rink while looking at the news on her phone.

At the Place des Vosges, a statue is about to be revealed.

Alix: It's only been a week since he was re-elected as Mayor of Paris and Mr. Bourgeois has already approved of a statue being built?

Tikki, on her shoulder: Do you think it's a Scarabée and Kitty Claws statue? That would be so excited!

Alix: Considering how we've saved Chloé quite a few times and she's a fan of us, the thought has crossed my mind.

Tikki, looking straight ahead: Aren't those two of your friends up ahead?

Alix, whispering: Shit! Quick Tikki, get in the duffel bag!

Nathaniel with his art bag over his shoulder and Luka walked up to Alix.

Alix: I thought you two would be at the statue reveal by now.

Luka: Everyone's gonna be posting about it when the statue's revealed anyway.

Nathaniel: We are going with you to roller derby practice! The Brutal Beauties need their leader after all.

After a rather quick walk, the three of them made it to the Flying Wheels Arena.

There were only three of the other members of the Brutal Beauties there.

Socqueline Wang, Ondine Fontaine, and Monica Bisset. Who were all in their derby team uniforms.

Monica, running up to Alix: Alix! You're here!! *quickly pulls her into a tight hug*

Alix: Hey Monica. Where's everyone else?

Socqueline: Probably at that soon-to-be statue reveal.

Ondine: Do you the rumors of it being a Scarabée and Kitty Claws statue are true?

Alix: Most likely. Now I'm gonna change into my uniform. Be on the rink by the time I get back.

~~~~~Abit later at Le Grand Paris~~~~~

Chloé and Sabrina were getting ready for the statue reveal when Chloé heard her phone vibrating.

When she picks it up and looks through the notifications, her face erupts into a deep red blush.

Sabrina: Chloé! What wrong?!

Chloé: *quickly gives Sabrina her phone while managing to blush even harder*

Sabrina, looking at the pictures: Oh...

Alix had posted pictures of herself in her roller derby uniform on Instagram.

Sabrina: If it helps... at least you finally got to see how the Brutal Beauties' uniform looks.

Chloé, whining still blushing: While she's there being the Brutal Beauty that she is, I gotta go to this statue reveal with my dad!

Sabrina: If it helps Adrien's gonna be at the statue reveal too...

Chloé: Hopefully this statue reveal will go by quickly.

André from outside the room: Chloé! Sabrina! Are you two ready to go?

Chloé, taking her phone from Sabrina and putting it back in her purse: Just a few more minutes.

Sabrina wasn't gonna let Chloé be upset today!

Sabrina: Hey! Since she went out of her way to get your number, it's only a matter of time before she asks you to watch her at roller derby practice!

Chloé, smiling: Thanks Sabrina.

Sabrina: No need to thank me.

After the two quickly get ready, they leave the Hotel with André and are driven to the Place des Vosges.

Which had people were waiting for Mayor Bourgeois and the Sculptor Théo Barbot.

Just as Chloé and Sabrina got out of the limousine, Adrien got out of the limousine he was driven in and runs up to the two girls.

Adrien: Hey Chloé! Hey Sabrina!

Sabrina: Hey Adrien! How does it feel knowing that your dad let you take a break from your MANY studies?

Adrien, rolling his eyes: Quite underwhelming considering that after this statue reveal I gotta get right back to studying.

Sabrina: My condolences for the lack of fun in your social life.

Noticing that Chloé's been surprisingly quiet, Adrien turns to her and sees that she's scrolling through something on her phone.

When he walks next to Chloé and looks over her shoulder, he smiles.

Adrien: Oh hey, It's Alix! Those must bee the Brutal Beauties I've heard around the school and nowhere else.

Adrien then sees a guy unfamiliar to him next to Alix and Nathaniel in one of the posts.

Adrien: Who's the guy with the blue hair? He's kinda cute.

Chloé: I... don't know. *internally* Alix has surrounded herself with such cool looking and mysterious people and I'M STILL HERE!!!

Sabrina: Guys, the statue's about to be revealed. I see Théo coming!

Théo Barbot then quickly runs up to Mayor Bourgeois, clearly out of breath.

Théo: Sorry I'm late, Mayor!

André: You're not late alot. Now let's reveal Paris' perfect masterpiece. *turns to the audience and speaks louder* It's only proper for Paris to pay homage to those who protect us from evil; *removes the cloth cover the statue* Scarabée and Kitty Claws!

Once Chloé Adrien Sabrina and everyone in th saw the statue, they all began to cheer loudly.

Alya was making sure to get as many photos as she could for the ScaraBlog and send some of the pics to her friends.

A girl unfamiliar to Alya was also taking her own pictures of the statue, more particularly at the Scarabée part of it.

???, whispering: Oh Scarabée...

After getting a good look at the Sculptor, Adrien realizes something.

Adrien, to Théo: Hey, do you go to Lycée Françoise Dupont by any chance?

Théo: Yes I do.

Sabrina: Your work on this statue is incredibly well done!

Théo: Thanks... it took me a few days, but I'm happy I got it done in time.

Adrien: Well you definitely earned it! You really got their features right. *turns to Chloé while smirking* What do you think of Scarabée's features, Chlo?

Chloé didn't bother to entertain her best friend's teasing with a response.

While Chloé was looking lovingly at the Scarabée part of the statue, she gets a notification on her phone.

When she pulls out her phone and looks at the notification, she almost crushes it in her hand.

A photo of Alix with her hand around Monica Bisset's shoulder was now on her screen.

At that point tons of VERY angry thoughts were going through her mind.

"Did it REALLY have to be Monica?!"

"She gets to see Alix's smiling face and hot muscles whenever sports are involved!"

"If I were there, Monica wouldn't even be within ten feet of Ally-Kins!"

Sabrina, noticing how upset she's getting: Chloé... how about we get some snacks on the way to your place?

Chloé, not looking away from her phone: I'll think about it.

The statue ceremony ends and people leave.

Once nearly everyone else is gone, the girl unfamiliar to Alya walks up to her.

???: You're Alya Césaire! I absolutely LOVE your ScaraBlog!

Alya: It's always great to meet a fan! What's your name?

Jolie: I am Jolie Gouin! With the work I finish from Fortuna Academy, the closer I get to becoming an incredible journalist!

Alya: You go to Fortuna Academy?! I heard that place is incredible!

Jolie: Incredible and challenging. But enough talk about school stuff, I wanna talk Superheroines.

Alya: Ah, a language I excel at. What do you wanna know?

Jolie, blushing: Well... how tall is Scarabée actually? What's her favorite colors? What's her favorite food? If she is a lycée student, do you know what school she goes to? Are her eyes naturally that cerulean blue?!

Alya was getting quite overwhelmed by her new friend's barrage of questions.

Alya, teasingly: Whoa there! Were you planning on slipping in a question about Kitty Claws anytime soon?

Jolie, blushing even harder: Sorry, it's just that... Scarabée's so cool and pretty.

When Chloé hears those last five words, her head snaps in the direction of where whose mouth they came from.

Alya: Too bad neither her and Kitty Claws showed up today...

Jolie: If she were here, I tell her how much I admire her! I hope we'd have so much in common if we were to talk. I drew a picture for her to sign. *takes the picture out of her pocket and shows it to Alya* Ignore the candy wrappers please.

Alya, looking at the picture: Whoa! Those Fortuna art classes are no joke.

A very jealous Chloé did NOT like what she was hearing.

Chloé: Adrien, Sabrina. You two can go back without me. I'll be there in a few.

Adrien: I gotta go study now. Hopefully next time. *walks off*

Sabrina, to Chloé: Are you sure?

Chloé, not looking away from Alya and Jolie: Very sure.

Once Adrien and Sabrina walk back to the limousine with André, Chloé quickly runs off to hide so she could transform.

Plagg: Oooooh! Your Itty-Bitty's quite popular with the ladies~

Chloé, getting even more angry: PLAGG, CLAWS OUT!

As Alya and Jolie exchanged numbers, Kitty Claws walks up to the two of them.

Alya, shocked: IT'S KITTY CLAWS!! *immediately starts recording her*

Jolie: Whoa... it is!

Kitty Claws, looking at Jolie: I heard that this little Journalist has a little crush on Scarabée.

Jolie, blushing while looking away from the heroine: Well-

Kitty Claws, with an obviously fake smile: Don't waste your time.

Jolie, shocked: W-wha-

Kitty Claws: You don't have a shot cause I'M Scarabée's type! Itty-Bitty won't waste her precious time with a wannabe Journalist when she has me.

Jolie holds her picture to her chest before running away.

Alya, stopping the recording and shouts angrily: What's your deal?!

Kitty Claws, shocked at Alya's anger: Just looking out for MY Itty-Bitty! *turns around and runs off*

When Alya realizes that Jolie was long gone, she tries to call her only for her call to be ignored.

Jolie, still running: What does Scarabée see in HER?!

Jolie slows down until she stops running and leans again a building.

Jolie, looking at her picture of Scarabée: You deserve someone WAY better than Kitty Claws. Why don't you see that?! I bet she's the type to think of love as some game to win! I would be the girlfriend you deserve...

Jolie rages about how Kitty Claws does not take love seriously and how she, not KC, deserves to be with Scarabée.

Hawkmoth: Disappointed by Scarabée's choice of partner and jealous of Kitty Claws. The perfect formula for disaster! Fly away my little akuma and evilize her.

Hawkmoth, sensing Jolie's jealousy and anger sends out an akuma. The akuma lands on the picture of Scarabée.

Hawkmoth: Hello Dupli-Cat, I'm Hawkmoth. Once you get rid of Kitty Claws, you can take her place. And Scarabée will be yours forever!

Jolie: The very thought makes me purr~

Jolie Gouin is then transformed into Dupli-Cat.

Dupli-Cat: Time to ruin Kitty Claws' reputation and win Scarabée over! The Louvre would be a great place to start.

After putting her drawing in her left pocket, Dupli-Cat transforms into an exact duplicate of Kitty Claws and jumping from rooftop to rooftop in the direction of the Louvre.

~~~~~At a local chocolaterie~~~~~

Chloé was buying several pounds of chocolate for herself Adrien and Sabrina.

When she left the chocolaterie, Plagg flies out of her purse.

Plagg: I don't think it was the best idea to make that Journalist girl cry...

Chloé: Hey, I HAD to put her in her place! Besides, if she were to get akumatized, I'll handle her with the help of MY Scarabée.

Plagg: Human jealous and envy are such confusing emotions. How are you this upset about the thought of both Alix and Scarabée being around other girls when you AREN'T dating neither of them?

Chloé: Another word outta you and you're fuel source will be MY chocolate for a week. Now, let's get these chocolates back to Mt room.

~~~~~At Flying Wheels Arena~~~~~

The Brutal Beauties were taking a break when Nathaniel and Luka brought them drinks.

Nathaniel: Shame how Jalil couldn't make it to watch you practice.

Alix: It's cool. I told him it was okay for him to watch Ella and Etta for Alya after all.

Luka: Even how he was with us, he’s gonna be so protective of those two.

Monica, running up to them: Alix! *pushes Luka out the way* how are you sticker designs going?!

Alix: There going along. There aren't many people who would ask for commissions though. Speaking of stickers, there are a few a want you guys to see.

Alix then puts her hand into her duffel bag and pulls out the stickers she made.

One was Nathaniel's name in an artist and messy painting font, one was Luka's name in an elegantly colored algerian font, and the Brutal Beauties logo boldly colored in a britannic bold font.

Monica: So cool! Can I have the Brutal Beauties one?!

Alix: Of course! I made one for all of us after all.

Monica: Oh... *internally* Why can't they be OUR thing?!

Nathaniel: These are so cool! I'll put it on my new sketch book

Luka: Mine's going right on my guitar case.

Alix: I gave some to Jalil before I left. I bet Ella and Etta really like them too.

~~~~~At the Louvre~~~~~

Alya had just got to the Louvre to pick up the twins for Jalil.

What she didn't expect to see was her older sister's best friend covered in stickers.

Ella and Etta, running up to Alya: ALYA'S HERE!

Alya: Sorry if the twins were too much trouble Jalil.

Jalil: They weren't any trouble at all. They remind of Alix when she was their age.

Alya, taking out her phone: Just so you know, I'm taking a picture to send to Nora.

Jalil: I'd be shocked if you didn't.

After Alya takes the picture of Jalil, who everyone thought was Kitty Claws walks into the Louvre.

Ella: *gasps* Alya look!

Etta: It's Kitty Claws!

Alya, starts to frown: What's she doing here?

Jalil, noticing her sudden mood change: You okay?

While everyone else around the four took their phones out and started taking pictures, Kitty Claws(?) walks closer to the Mona Lisa and steps over the ribbon to get even closer.

Kitty Claws(?): Don't mind me, just stealing this painting. Just go about your business. *grabs the painting and causes the alarm to go off*

When the Security Guard tries to grab her, she kicks him into the wall across the room and she then poses for the cameras.

She then notices that Alya's there and turns to fully face her.

Kitty Claws(?): Make sure you get this for your ScaraBlog; Kitty Claws is the baddest cat in Paris now! *quickly leaves*

Jalil: I have in INCREDIBLY bad feeling about this...

Alya: You're not the only one.

Ella: Alya?

Etta: Is Kitty Claws bad now?

Alya: That's... a tough question to answer right now.

Jalil: Don't worry, girls! I'm sure that Scarabée can handle her cat being mean.

Ella and Etta: *giggles*

Alya, sighs in relief before looking at Jalil: Thanks.

Jalil: No problem.

Alya, frustrated: First the incident with Jolie and now THIS?! I gotta make a new ScaraBlog video!

Little did Alya know, Jalil was internally freaking out.

Jalil, internally: Alix, if you ARE Scarabée, how are you gonna fix a partner gone bad?!

Once the news of Kitty Claws stealing from the Louvre went life, Chloé and Alix had two VERY different reactions.

~~~~~At the Flying Wheels Arena~~~~~

Luka, watching the news on his phone: You guys may wanna check this out. *shows Alix and Nathaniel his phone*

Nathaniel: Is Kitty Claws REALLY stealing from the Louvre?! Mr. Kubdel's gotta be passed.

Alix, internally: There's NO WAY that this is Kitty Claws. It's an Akuma for sure.

Luka: Alix, you got really quiet.

Nathaniel: I know what you're thinking.

Alix, shocked: You do?!

Nathaniel, smirking: Realizing that you're into bad girls must be such a mental challenge.

Alix, quickly taking off one of her skates: I will hit you with this.

Luka: I don't think this is the time for joking or violence.

~~~~~At Le Grand Paris~~~~~

Sabrina, watching the news on her phone: There's NO WAY that Kitty Claws is a thief!

Chloé, internally: This HAS to be that Journalist that Césaire was hanging out earlier! She's trying to ruin my reputation!

Sabrina, looking over at Chloé: Are you okay? You're gripping your phone a little too hard.

Sabrina, hearing her ring tone: That must be one of the other officers my dad got to take me home. See you tomorrow, Chloé. *quickly leaves*

Plagg, after hearing the door close: *flies out of Chloé's purse* Whoa, you must have really gotten to that girl if she's trying to frame you for theft.

Chloé: Hey, it's not MY fault that she's a jealous little brat!

Plagg: *rolls his eyes* Projecting much?

Chloé: Plagg, Claws out!

~~~~~Back at Flying Wheels Arena~~~~~

Alix was on the phone with Alim making sure that he was alright.

Alix: And you, Jalil, Alya, and the twins aren't hurt?

Alim: No sweetie, she just took the Mona Lisa, kicked one of our Security Guards and left. He's alright though.

Alix: Great, I'll be there soon! Love you. *hangs up*

Ondine, walking up to Alix: Is your family okay?

Alix: Yeah, they're fine, but cops are surrounding the Louvre. It'll be for the best if we end practice for today.

Socqueline: Is Kitty Claws actually a thief now?

Monica: There's no way! Kitty Claws is too awesome!

Alix: I'm sure Scarabée will be there to clear up this incredibly abnormal situation.

After they all leave the roller rink, Nathaniel and Luka refuse to leave Alix's side.

Alix: Guys, I told you that my dad and Jalil are alright.

Nathaniel: With how unpredictable this day has been, we're NOT taking any chances.

Luka: I have to agree with Nate on this.

Alix, internally: DAMNIT YOU TWO! I HAVE TO TRANSFORM SO I CAN INVESTIGATE!!

After they begin fast walking, Alix gets a notification on her phone from the ScaraBlog.

She takes her headphones out of her duffel bag, contacts them to her phone, and watches the ScaraBlog's newest video while continuing to walk with Nathaniel and Luka.

After the three of them managed to quickly get to the Louvre, they saw Kitty Claws talking to Officer Raincomprix.

They also noticed that several other officers surrounded her.

Kitty Claws: For the LAST TIME, I didn't steal the Mona Lisa. I'm being framed!

Roger: And I'm telling you to take a quick look inside-

Kitty Claws: I KNOW that cop trick! When I go into the Louvre, you're gonna trap me inside.

Roger: Wha-

While Kitty Claws talked with ranted at Officer Raincomprix, Alim and Jalil saw Alix with Nathaniel and Luka.

Alim, running towards them: Alix! Boys!

Jalil, right behind Alim: Are you all alright!?

Alix: We came here to ask you two that!

Nathaniel: Where are Alya and the twins?

Alim: They went home. *turns in the direction of Kitty Claws and Roger* Speaking of clearly upset teens...

Kitty Claws: If you think that I'm not only dumb enough to steal the Mona Lisa, but to also come back to the scene of the crime as well, you MUST really be bad at your job!

Roger: Why you-

Kitty Claws: Magic is obviously real and you don't think that someone would MAGICALLY transform into me if they wanted my reputation to be ruined?!

Roger: I will NOT be disrespected-

Alim, walking to them: That's quite enough, Officer Raincomprix. I'll take it from here.

Roger hesitates before begrudgingly walking away with the surrounding officers following him.

Alim: Sorry about him, Kitty Claws. You'd think he'd act more like a father than a cop when speaking with teenagers.

Kitty Claws: It's okay...

Alix, Jalil, Nathaniel, and Luka then run up to the two of them.

Alix: Don't worry, Kitty Claws! We know you're not a thief.

Kitty Claws, internally: Ally-Kins' roller derby uniform looks even hotter in person!

Nathaniel, smirking: Just so you know, Alix ESPECIALLY didn't lose faith in you!

Kitty Claws, blushing: Oh...

Alix, blushing as well: You shut it! *punches Nathaniel's arm*

Nathaniel, rubbing his arm: Ow! I regret nothing!

Luka: Kitty Claws, does Scarabée know about this whole situation?

Kitty Claws: I don't know. I tried to call her, but she won't answer.

Luka: Why don't we all help you out until she gets here?

Alix: Hold on-

Jalil: Actually, me, Alix and dad WILL stay here in case that imposter comes back. Nate and Luka, you two will be helping out Scarabée!

Nathaniel: That's a great plan too!

Alix, internally: Thank you, Jalil! *speaks out loud* Before I go, I think I have something that might help Scarabée tell you two apart.

Alix then opens her duffel bag and pulls out another sticker she had made.

This one was Kitty Claws' name in green and black. Designed as to make it seem it was written in cat scratches.

Kitty Claws, taking the sticker: Whoa! This is REALLY cool.

Alix: I wanted to wait so I could give to both you and Scarabée at the same time, but clearly that won't happen for a couple of reasons .

Kitty Claws then quickly sticks the sticker on the side of her left thigh.

After the Kubdels go inside, Nathaniel and Luka discuss the situation with Kitty Claws.

Kitty Claws: The girl is some wannabe Journalist. And judging by the uniform I saw her in earlier, she goes to Fortuna Academy.

Luka: Do you know WHY this girl was akumatized?

Kitty Claws: ... That's classified information!

Luka, shocked: Okay...?

Kitty Claws: All I'm gonna tell you is that she has an utterly lame crush on Scarabée.

Nathaniel: Not much to go off on, but I can work with this. *takes a pencil and piece of paper out of his bag* Scarabée's gonna invite the bad cat on a date.

While Luka and Kitty Claws watched Nathaniel write what they believe is a love letter, Alix had just finished changing out of her roller derby uniform.

Alix, walking right pass Alim and Jalil: Dad! Jalil! I'm going to get the ingredients you need for dinner! *runs off*

After managing to leave the Louvre without Kitty Claws or the boys noticing her, Alix quickly hides away to transform.

Tikki, flying out of Alix's hair: Who would wanna frame Kitty Claws?

Alix: I think I have an idea. Tikki, Spots On!

After transforming, Scarabée quickly uses her yo-yo to check certain posts online.

Lots of people were posting about "Kitty Claws" trashing Sweet Paris Creperie & Café.

Scarabée, putting her yo-yo away: Got your location, faker. *jumps on top of the Louvre*

After Nathaniel finishes with the letter, Scarabée Landa in from of the three of them.

Kitty Claws, beaming: Itty-Bitty!

Scarabée: Sorry I'm late Kitty. Was doing so investigating on my own.

Luka: Did you find out anything?

Scarabée: Yeah, she currently at Sweet Paris Creperie & Café making a mess as people record her.

Kitty Claws, whining: NO! I like it there...

Scarabée: What have you guys got so far?

Nathaniel: Not much. Just that she’s crushing on you and wants to ruin Kitty Claws' reputation. Made a love letter for this plan we came up with though. *shows Scarabée the love letter*

Scarabée then takes the letter from Nathaniel and begins to read it.

"Kitty Claws, I'm not sure what's going on with you today, but I wanna be there for you and talk with you about whatever's got you so troubled. Meet me at the Flying Wheels Arena roller rink. We can eat pizza, drink some soda and hopefully talk about and fix this whole situation together."

"❤️Your loyal partner, Scarabée.🖤"

Nathaniel: And thanks to our friend Alix's awesome stickers, you won't be choosing the wrong Kitty Claws. It's on the side of her left thigh.

Luka: Me and Nathaniel are gonna take the letter to her, while you and Kitty Claws wait at the roller rink.

Scarabée: Great, me and KC could use the bit of alone time to talk about this anyway. *glances at Kitty Claws*

Kitty Claws: *looks away from Scarabée while pouting*

Nathaniel: There's one thing I don't get.

Luka: What's that?

Nathaniel: Since that faker is crushing on Scarabée, wouldn't have made more sense if she was akumatized into a villain that could take out Kitty Claws and NOT an exact duplicate of the heroine she wants Scarabée to hate?

Kitty Claws and Luka: ...

Scarabée, giving the letter back to Nathaniel: Shot in the dark, but what if she has a second form? One to ruin KC's reputation and the other to replace her as my partner?

Nathaniel: That... actually makes sense.

Kitty Claws: And adds another reason for us to be careful when she gets to the roller rink.

Luka: She should at least still be around the Café, let's go Nate!

Nathaniel, putting the letter in his bag: Right!

After Nathaniel and Luka in the direction of the Sweet Paris Creperie & Café, Scarabée and Kitty Claws jumped from rooftop to rooftop in the direction of the Flying Wheels Arena roller rink.

~~~~~At Sweet Paris Creperie & Café~~~~~

By the time Nathaniel and Luka got there, the phony feline heroine was throwing crepes against a wall while people recorded her with their phones.

Nathaniel: Good thing we managed to get here before Roger and the other cops.

Luka, shouting: Hey, Kitty Claws!

Kitty Claws(?): *quickly turns to face them*

Nathaniel: Scarabée sent us here to give you something! *quickly pulls the letter out of his bag*

Kitty Claws(?), quickly walking up to them: Oooh! Gimme! *snatches the letter from Nathaniel*

After quickly reading the letter, Kitty Claws(?) puts it in her pocket and immediately leaves the Café.

Kitty Claws(?), running in the direction of Flying Wheels Arena: This is perfect! Once "Kitty Claws" ruins Scarabée's sweet little comfort date, Dupli-Cat will be there to comfort and love her.

~~~~~At the Flying Wheels Arena roller rink~~~~~

Realizing that Kitty Claws isn't really gonna explain the situation to her, Scarabée brings it up.

Scarabée, in a stern tone: Kitty?

Kitty Claws, obviouslyly nervous: Yes, my precious and understanding Itty-Bitty?

Scarabée: I've noticed that you've been quite upset regarding this particular Akuma.

Kitty Claws: I mean... ALL akuma upset me-

Scarabée, cutting her off: If it wasn't for the ScaraBlog, I wouldn't even know that you made quite the memorable appearance at the statue ceremony when it ended.

After walking closer to Kitty Claws, Scarabée then uses her yo-yo to play Alya's newest ScaraBlog video which she made and posted from the Louvre before taking the twins home.

Alya in the video: I know you all must be shocked by Kitty Claws' sudden act of stealing. But she's wasn't the best before that...

Kitty Claws' face becomes VERY pale as the video of her going off on Jolie plays.

Kitty Claws, muttering: Shit.

Scarabée: While it's clear that you didn't rob the Louvre, you DID upset that girl and cause her to get akumatized.

Kitty Claws, frowning: I'm sorry... it just that I wasn't having the best of days-

Scarabée, cutting her off again: TAKING OUT YOUR FRUSTRATIONS ON A CIVILIAN WAS THE WORST THING YOU COULD'VE DONE!

Kitty Claws was so caught off guard by Scarabée screaming at her, she couldn't respond.

Scarabée: After all of this whole situation is fixed, you ARE going to apologize to that girl and clear things up with Alya on the ScaraBlog.

Kitty Claws: Yes Ma'am.

Scarabée: Good. Now go hide, we don't need the our faker to immediately spot you.

Kitty Claws, pouting: The akuma is most likely in the picture she drew of you. It'll probably be in her costume's pocket.

Scarabée: Thanks for the tip. Now hide.

The thought of Scarabée being upset with with her nearly broke Kitty Claws' heart.

Kitty Claws, internally: I WILL make it up to you, Itty-Bitty. *hides behind the concession stand

Outside of the Flying Wheels Arena roller rink, Kitty Claws(?) was standing in front of the door.

Kitty Claws(?): I'm sorry for how rude I'm about to be, Scarabée...

The second Kitty Claws(?) walks through the door, Scarabée's yo-yo is immediately wrapped around her waist.

Before she could react, she quickly pulled right in front of Scarabée.

Kitty Claws(?) couldn't help by blush as she looked down at Scarabée.

Especially with how close the two of them were.

Scarabée, looking up at her: Kitty... I heard you weren't on your best behavior!~

Kitty Claws(?), blushing even harder: Hahahahaha...

Hawkmoth, communicating with her: YOUR HANDS AREN'T TRAPPED! GET HER MIRACULOUS NOW!

Kitty Claws(?): Damnit Hawkmoth! You blew my cover!

Scarabée was so cool to grabbing the paper from her left pocket.

Unfortunately for her, Kitty Claws noticed the glowing butterfly mask and decided to jump into action.

She jumps out from her hiding place, lands onto the fake KC which untied the yo-yo from around her waist, and pulls a piece of paper out of her right pocket.

Scarabée, noticing the white piece of paper: KC! NO!

Kitty Claws: Cataclysm! *quickly uses it on the paper and watches it turn to dust* Where's the Akuma?!

Scarabée: GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!

After kicking Kitty Claws off of her and into a wall, Dupli-Cat transforms back into her Dupli-Cat outfit.

Dupli-Cat: You would NOT believe how much I wanted to get out of that outfit! Scarabée, this between me and Kitty Claws. Cataclysm! *activates her own cataclysm* Unlike Kitty Claws', mine won't go to waist.

After getting back up, Kitty Claws then runs up next to Scarabée while getting her baton ready.

Kitty Claws: Itty-Bitty, I am so-

Scarabée: Apologize later, distract her! We gotta finish this fast before you transform back.

Kitty Claws then goes to fight Dupli-Cat while avoiding her cataclysm.

Dupli-Cat: Absolutely incredible! You don't need MY help to make Scarabée hate you.

Kitty Claws, obviouslyly angry: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

When Dupli-Cat dodges Kitty Claws scratch, the heroine ends up cutting the table behind her in half.

Dupli-Cat, with a smirk: Ooooh! Did I touch a nerve?

While those two continued their face throughout the roller rink, Scarabée uses her Lucky Charm and watches as roller blades fall into her hands.

When she uses her Lucky Vision, she spots Kitty Claws, a table near the two fighting cats, the roller blades, and her yo-yo.

She then begins to tightly strap the roller blades onto her yo-yo.

Scarabée, swinging around her roller bladed yo-yo: KC! Get rid of that cataclysm!

Kitty Claws, still dodging hits: On it!

After managing to dodge a couple more attempts of Dupli-Cat's attacks by cataclysm, Kitty Claws grabs Dupli-Cat's wrist and slams it into the table next to them which causes her to end up using her cataclysm to destroy it.

Quite upset, Dupli-Cat grabs Kitty Claws and throws them both down in the concession stand.

After a few seconds, two Kitty Clawses jumped out.

Kitty Claws(?): Scarabée, it's me. I'm the REAL Kitty Claws.

Scarabée: Okay, show me the side of your left thigh then.

Kitty Claws(?): Wait what-

Without hesitating, the real Kitty Claws turns to the side and shows Scarabée her sticker.

Scarabée then quickly flings her yo-yo around the fake Kitty Claws.

Once her elbows are tied to her sides, the roller blades end up smacking her in face, which sends her falling to the ground.

Kitty Claws then takes the akumatized item out of her pocket and rips it in half, freeing the akuma.

After unwrapping her yo-yo from Jolie, Scarabée immediately catches the butterfly with it, purifies it and sets it free.

When she uses her Miraculous Cure, everything is fixed and/or put back where it was before.

This includes the Mona Lisa going back to the Louvre and Sweet Paris Creperie & Café being fixed up.

When Jolie turns back to normal, she quickly gets up with an embarrassed look on her face.

Kitty Claws turns away from Scarabée and Jolie with a frown.

Before she goes to leave, Scarabée grabs her wrist.

Scarabée: Aren't you forgetting something?

Kitty Claws, blushing: O-oh!

Kitty Claws happily takes a quick selfie with Scarabée before turning to Jolie.

Kitty Claws: Call Alya, I'd like to apologize to you later.

Jolie, shocked: Oh! Okay. Where should we meet?

Kitty Claws: Sweet Paris Creperie & Café, of course! *quickly leaves the roller rink*

After noticing the drawing, Scarabée picks it up.

Scarabée: This is a great drawing of me.

Jolie: Thanks! Can you sign it?

Scarabée: Of course!

Scarabée then quickly pulls a pen out of her yo-yo and signs the drawing.

Jolie: Also... I am SO sorry I let my negative emotions get the better of me after Kitty Claws told me you two were dating.

Scarabée, confused: Wait, but we're not-

Scarabée's interrupted by the beeping of her earrings.

Scarabée: When you appear on the ScaraBlog with Kitty Claws, ask her about the dating thing. If she doesn't tell the truth, I WILL know! *quickly leaves the roller rink*

After Scarabée leaves, Jolie looks at her signed drawing of Scarabée before she calls Alya.

Jolie: Hey Alya, are you up for an interview with Kitty Claws at Sweet Paris Creperie & Café? Don't worry I will explain everything once we get there.

~~~~~Later that day~~~~~

After eating dinner with her family, Alix was watching the latest ScaraBlog video.

Alya, in the video: So let me get this straight, Jolie was the one who stole the Mona Lisa and trashed Sweet Paris... because she was akumatized due to Kitty Claws lying about her relationship status with Scarabée?

Kitty Claws, in the video: That's right. And I can't apologize enough for how I behaved today. It was messed up of me to take my bad day out on Jolie.

Jolie, in the video: For the LAST time Kitty Claws, it's okay! Not everyone is perfect, that involves Superheroines or Superheroes.

Alix, putting her phone in her pocket: I'm turning in for the night.

Alim and Jalil, in unison: Good night, Alix!

When Alix goes into her room, she closes and locks the door.

Tikki, flying towards her from the bed: You're not going to bed, are you?

Alix: Nope. Tikki, spots on!

After transforming yet again, Scarabée grabs a bunch of her stickers out of the duffel back before leaving out of her opened window.

~~~~~At Le Grand Paris~~~~~

Chloé was eating a crepe outside by the pool while Plagg ate his camembert cheese.

Plagg: That was cool of you to apologize to that girl AND donate lots of euros to that Café.

Chloé: I just wish I could apologize to Itty-Bitty. I wonder where she is?

Scarabée: *swings pass the hotel while looking straight ahead*

Chloé: ...

Plagg: Found her-

Chloé: Plagg, Claws Out!

After Scarabée lands on the Eiffel Tower, she slaps her final sticker onto a part of it.

Scarabée: And that's the last one!

Kitty Claws, landing behind her: Hey there, Itty-Bitty!

Scarabée: Oh hey, KC.

Kitty Claws then noticed the pink red and black Scarabée sticker in an action like font.

Kitty Claws: That sticker...

Scarabée: I liked the one that Alix gave you so much, I just HAD to get mine from her and put'em all around Paris. That's why I'm here though. What are you doing here?

Kitty Claws: I actually came to apologize for my shitty behavior earlier. You did say apologize later all.

Scarabée: *chuckles* That I did... saw your video on the ScaraBlog, good work!

Kitty Claws, blushing: Thank you, Itty-Bitty!~

Scarabée then surprises Kitty Claws by using her yo-yo to pull her closer.

Scarabée, whispering: Don't let something like this happen again, please?

Kitty Claws, blushing even harder: O-of course I won't, Itty-Bitty! I promise!

Scarabée: Good.

After unwrapping her yo-yo from around Kitty Claws, Scarabée jumps off the Eiffel Tower and graceful swings away while Kitty Claws watched in awe.

Kitty Claws, shouting: MY ITTY-BITTY'S SO COOL!

Inspired by: @emdoddles @princess-of-the-corner @muggle-born-princess @dcschart @justanotherpersonsuniverse @symphonic-scream

[yesterdaysanswers]

Mauro Pagani - The interview (Mucchio Selvaggio n. 307, 26 May/1 June 1998)

Musician, producer and a thousand other things, Mauro Pagani is one of the most serious and significant figures of Italian rock (and beyond) of the last twenty five years: from activism in the former Premiata Forneria Marconi to the various collaborations with Demetrio Stratos and Fabrizio De André, from research in the world music field (well before this had become a fad) to the soundtracks, the multi-instrumentalist and singer was undoubtedly the most authoritative of the possible candidates for the difficult role of Musical Director of 1º Maggio. It is precisely in this capacity that we interviewed him, asking him for information on the workings and intrigues that govern the event

How did you get this artistic direction?

I think that the appointment is due to my friendship with Fabrizio De André, who mentioned my name to Riccardo Corato, the producer of the concert. There was a need to put some order into a chaos due to pressure from record companies to include anyone, to the television that wanted to have their say, to the technical madness caused by too many guests... but I'm sure they also chose me because they hoped that I would be able to convince Fabrizio to come… 

Being a musician, I take it that you were first concerned with technical issues.

Exactly. Having ascertained that it was not possible to obtain two stages, not due to problems of space, but due to the declared unavailability of RAI to double up on equipment and personnel, I convinced the organization to build a revolving stage, in order to reduce dead times to a minimum and avoid having to equip the stage in front of the audience. The one in San Giovanni is a large atypical concert, made extremely complicated by the needs of each artist and by the presence of the TV.

To what extent does RAI intervene on the concert?

The truth is that the TV, slave as it is to audience ratings, has become incapable of being a mere spectator and tends by its culture to "televise" anything, as the Sanremo Festival clearly demonstrates. At RAI they did not want to accept the idea of ​​leaving 1º Maggio the possibility of being itself, that is, a musical review with a political meaning behind it and not just a television event: they proposed Fiorello as presenter, and when they spoke of "inviting others, invite different ones”, they were referring to Cugini di Campagna. For them, starting off with Almamegretta in prime time was blasphemy, they would have liked someone who sang "O sole mio". Luckily the whole Network (the company that manages the concert, N.d.l.) has earned and defended the decisions taken: it was a courageous act, considering that TV still acts as a "timepiece" of what is happening in San Giovanni and serves as a commodity exchange to negotiate the availability of their artists with record companies.

Are you somehow responsible for the TV broadcast idea on one network?

Absolutely not. I don't know why they changed the system, maybe they understood that the old one was too cumbersome. Even so, however, problems were not lacking, given that it was a question of upsetting the schedule of a network for about seven hours, with all its journalistic and advertising needs. Perhaps all these complications also explain why we were denied a connection with C.S.I., who had already made arrangements to perform in Reggio Emilia and therefore could not be physically present in Rome as we would have liked.

How did you move, on the contrary, in terms of artistic choices?

A complicated matter, because in any case the chosen ones would have thought that it was up to them and that I hadn't done anything special except to notice their merits, while I would have had to explain to all the others the reasons for an exclusion that they wouldn’t have willingly accepted anyway; what's more, I also suffered from the handicap of the previous editions, for example the disheveled willingness of the Network to accept everything and to submit to a series of give-and-take games. At the beginning, adopting an almost terrorist tactic, I announced my intention to halve attendance, hoping - as it later happened - to limit them to 60/70% compared to last year: this is not only because of stage changes, but also to ensure that each participant could offer two or three songs and not just the classic "promotional" piece that usually makes it to Sanremo and Festivalbar. As a basic principle I have tried to avoid pop, not out of racism towards the genre but because those who play pop still have many opportunities to appear, while at 1º Maggio - which is not the same as the Festivalbar, whatever enemies and cynical trombones may say marketed like Luzzatto Fegiz - it should be the concert of others, of those who struggle to find spaces outside the specialized circuit. Then I decided to favor groups, and not only because the first two months I was hammered with offers from young soloists, more or less singer-songwriters: groups know how to better protect themselves from the deliberate or unconscious conditioning of record companies, there are more people who keep the job alive and they sow each other's souls. They are like a laboratory, and therefore usually bring more elaborate proposals. I sincerely believe these musicians deserve more official exposure.

I don't think this modus operandi made you very popular.

I know, but what can I do? There was a line to carry and I did it all the way, there was a choice and I chose. The bad thing was having to say no to some friends for whom participation could be important, such as Massimo Bubola: we've known each other for years, we've worked together, but for reasons of coherence with the project I preferred to invite Almmegretta, Subsonica or Afterhours.

In addition to being petitioned, have you also been subjected to bribery attempts?

No, not at all. The only time they offered me money was a few years ago, when I was part of the youth jury for Sanremo. However, I've been subjected to less pressure than I expected, perhaps because of my reputation as a grouch, or because when you always speak your mind people have a harder time breaking your balls.

In the end, those who should have been on your side broke your balls: RAI, Cofferati who wanted songwriters…

The controversy of the songwriters was born fake: Cofferati was afraid that the lack of "big names" could keep the public away, and therefore in good faith he almost decided to say not to "give up" on 1º Maggio because it was something more of a concert anyway. In reality, San Giovanni, beyond the fact that there are those who want to participate for strong personal reasons and those who are less touched by the implications that are not strictly artistic, it is a maxi-musical event with television broadcasting, and the reason why we are talking about it is because it brings fights, altercations, discussions. If it were just the union party in the piazza, no one would worry too much about it, at most you'd read a few reviews in the newspapers.

Do you think you have sown something important for the future?

I hope so. And I hope next year’s artistic director realizes that a new principle has been established which at least has made the participants more protected from a technical and organizational point of view.

You assume it won't be you again.

Since they were all very happy, except perhaps Freccero, they have already asked me if I was interested in repeating. I am very honored and proud of it, but I am a little afraid of being institutionalized as "the one of 1º Maggio". But if I decided to say yes, I'd start working on it as early as September, in order to be sure of having truly exceptional foreign guests and not having to accept what little or much that has finally arrived, also thanks to the bureaucratic delays of the recording world. Furthermore, I would try to open up television prospects at a European level, and perhaps reserve a half hour for five or six "brand new” particularly promising acts.

[dogtccth]

Who else would come to this crap other than the bourgeois ? He doesn't have an answer so he doesn't respond , though he's not sure André was really even looking for one at the moment . Roman can't really tell , the other was difficult to read in moments like this -- which made things harder .

" It only looked that way because you were getting upset about my questions . " Just like his parents did when he questioned them . He's surprised André hasn't lashed out on him physically like they had as well . But lack of answer might as well be a smack to the face . Just what ?! Just what ?! Just what ?! It's all his mind can rotate as he watches the other get dressed and grab joint . And he's glad he'd taken lighter previously in that moment .

Arms cross in a pout as he remains on bed watching the other until he's beckoned over , and he knows exactly what for and eyes fall on pants where lighter sits in pocket . And he considers getting completely dressed and just leaving without a word . But as he looks over to balcony there's a defeated sigh knowing that'd only make things worse . So instead he fishes through drawers for headphones , turning on the noise cancelling before digging through pockets for lighter . A robe's then grabbed and put on along with house shoes before finally heading outside .

Gesture's made at headphones so the other knows he can't be heard before stepping toward him . " You know I hate when you smoke that crap . " Still , lighter's handed off then . " C'mere , " spoken softly as hands cup at face to bring the other down into a deep kiss . " Before you taste like weed -- " explained with a hungry once over and bite of his lip but he steps away . Spinning on balls of feet to lean almost fully over balcony instead . " They're not so bad when I can't hear them chattering and laughing ... " It always felt like they were gossiping and laughing at him after all .

Head turns back around with furrowed brow , space quickly closed between them once more . And headphones are removed and placed in pockets of robe as he focuses attention on André . Arms rest over shoulders only to move down chest while he toys with the other's collar as he speaks . " Come back inside . I want you . Please . I'm sorry . W-we can have another party -- just to premiere ! And not behind masks ! It'd be better that way . They'd really have to look at us then , and I wont leave your side ! If I do just grab me and remind me , 'kay ? "

HEAD TURNS WHEN HE SEES SHIFT UNDER SHEET . Head pops up and features soften at the sight of Roman returning from his hidden shroud . There he is . Heavy inhale and exhale as head settles onto lap , his own body shifting so palms are planted on mattress when sitting back slightly . " Who do you expect me to invite ? " And as much as he would rather cater future festivities to Roman's liking , he fears that would never be the case .

Single hand lifts from bed to run fingers through chestnut strands . " You were questioning me in front of everyone , Roman . I can't have that . " a beat , hesitating in following up but he does regardless , " It was beginning to look like we were having a spat . " Eyes dart to door when Roman mentions it , though . " Not mad , just ... " and he waits for lover to move so he can stand , obliging to request , but not before pulling on slacks and smoke jacket and shifting through vanity to fish out a pre-rolled joint .

" I'll be back , love . " assured as he steps to balcony , closing glass door behind him . Steps are taken to barrier to take in the live band across the lawn and the populous enjoying the music . Everyone but Roman . Another sigh and he reaches for lighter that's supposed to be set beside ashtray on table stand nearby , as joint is pulled to lips . Eyes roll when he realizes it just so happened to have disappeared and he narrows gaze to focus on culprit responsible , finger crooking to call him over .

[ichayalovesyou]

El Hotel De Los Secretos Ep. 11 Reaction

Well, Julio is unsurprisingly getting his ass beat for having no chill when confronting Genaro about his dealings with Cristina. Oooh shit they beat him unconscious, good thing Dagoberto and Atala were already there.

The journey of finding Serapio Ayala even more endearing continues. Dagoberto woke Julio’s ass up with cold water and Ayala’s like “what the hell man you could’ve been way nicer about that!” I really do like him fr fr.

Ok Ayala is starting to have more and more grandpa energy by being surprisingly kind and patient w/ Julio. He DID notice Julio’s got a little crescent moon tattoo on his bicep that gave him pause!! I wonder what the significance of that is! (Other than being excellent fuel for my Vampire/Werewolf fanfic idea).

OK, Benjamin (the head butler) having a son he wishes he could visit much more often absolutely tracks with how fondly he treats Andrés. Of course Teresa is rude about it 🙄. Mercedes continuing to be ridiculously awesome and endearing and leaving Felipe in the dust like “bitch I’m a military brat you think I don’t know how to ride a horse?! Watch me!” I love her!!

GOD you know what I do actually feel bad for Alfredo, he’s not totally innocent but it’s not like he intentionally knocked Sofía down the stairs. His biggest crime so far has been ignorance. All he wants to do is well by his wife and future child, the remorse is very real. But Sofía is fully under her mother’s thumb and almost just as scared of Alfredo’s mother as she is of her own.

Noooo 😭 not Isabel and Andrés frantically asking each other “where’s Julio?” at the same time goddddd. They’re seriously so alike, pobrecito Andrés is like “he didn’t come back last night 🥺” I’m normal I am NORMAL I promise I’m normal!

It’s so weird when you can’t stand a character but love to see how she’ll be awful next and not even like a fun villain way but in a “oh god what is she up to NOW?” way. Literally all Ángela did was ask Natalia if Belén had dated anyone else and Belén is all “I’m feeling SO bullied rn” and tries to sick Teresa on her??? Like, girl, really?! Teresa only wants your baby, she doesn’t care about your ass!

Matilde is here! She really went “surprise bitch, let’s go to the pool Isabel bby! 😎” meanwhile Jacinto out here swallowing his tongue because he ain’t got the guts to tell Isabel what Diego has ordered him to do.

Sooooo 😤 Teresa is making Belén Ángela’s new assistant in order to keep her from going after her and DAMN that “we punish others for the mistakes we can’t forgive ourselves for.” Line is so RAW. Teresa is such an intriguing character, she’s awful but she acts unusually human around Ángela, it’s fascinating. And as much as Ángela is on the money about Belén being Extremely Awful, Teresa is also RIGHT, ugggggh 😍

Aw! Hell yeah, Jacinto sticking his neck out and going to search for Julio personally since Isabel and Matilde can’t take the car. Guess it’s time for poor Isabel to get dragged into Sofia and Alfredo’s marital disputes, maybe she can talk a little sense (maybe even strength) into Sofia… or not 😬 but you know what? Isabel is being a good sister anyway even tho she’s really worried about Julio. Matilde is like “girl you are out here giving too much of yourself.” I KNEW I was gonna frickin like her!!

Ah I see, it’s time to replace Dr. Santamaría since Teresa kicked him out for trying to be honest. Oh of COURSE promoting Belén gets her a raise, honestly that’s probably what Señorita García was looking for in the first place when she went to Teresa, she’s a sly vixen for sure. Ooh! Nice fake out but I still don’t think Teresa knows Diego is Belén’s baby daddy but knowing her she’ll probably find out soon 👀

OHHHH okay! The little moon tat is an anti-Profieran thing ok ok ok ok. Ayala is letting Julio off with a warning but THIS type of thing must’ve been what the actors/show runners were talking about when they said o e of the unique changes they made from the original Spanish Gran Hotel was adapting the story to Mexico’s history at that time. Oh my goddd the little historian in my brain is eating this shit up!! I have so much to look up later!

Matilde smacking Isabel upside the head with logic like “lemme get this straight, you’re engaged to that asshole Montejo, so how are you gonna juggle that and going back to school AND this lil’ crush you got” MAN Isabel NEEDED somebody who isn’t out to get something from her who’s like, on her level! This is gonna be such a good character dynamic I was getting sooo bored of the only other decent person she got to banter with being Julio. And like, Andrés a little but Andrés has all that internalized classism shit going on and won’t speak with her like she’s his equal (at least not yet).

?!?!?? Ok ok ok SOMEBODY just paid the telegram guy for information (reporting Teresa and Diego’s appearance in town and the telegrams they sent) we don’t get to see their face or hear their voice and Pascual is dead OMFG what if it’s CRISTINA?!?!???!

Okayyyy, new character just got introduced that makes my blood run cold about things that I know happen later. We’ve got our new doctor and I’m making some new, disquieting connections in my head. Never trust anyone directly on Teresa’s payroll, not ever 🤐 Dr. Lazaro has quite an iconic voice tho, I feel like I’ve heard him somewhere else. Okay so Doc Lazaro recognizes Diego’s last name and Diego’s hackles went up. So many shady motherfuckers up in here! 👀

Okay so we’re getting some implications that Jacinto miiiiiiiiiiiight be Violeta’s baby daddy?? I don’t think so though considering he didn’t behave as though he recogiese her in the market a few episodes ago. Regardless, his weird possessiveness of her when he doesn’t know her is starting to verge from tragic to creepy and I hope some stuff happens to make it Not That. Julio has returned to do thing the more reasonable way. Genaro’s information on his sister… for more fighting *SIGH*

And according to Genaro, Cristina stole raw materials from the hotel to sell to him and that she did indeed get fired for stealing but even if that is true I have the sneaking suspicion that isn’t the whole story or Genaro has good reason to fuck with him.

Oh WOW we are already implying Matilde has a thing for old men I had HEARD she and Serapio are a thing but that side comment about Doc Lazaro being handsome is amazing foreshadowing if true.

Isabel is so relieved Julio is back and Andrés is doing the whole “I’m gonna be mad about something else but really I’m angry with you for scaring me” thing. Aaaand yet again we have resident porcupine Julio taking out his fear for his sister onto Isabel, the only totally innocent Alarcón in this entire god dang family because, and I can’t emphasize this enough, he’s an idiot (affectionate and derogatory).

[miraculouswolf99]

Akumatized: Valid Or Not

This is basically a list of every akumatized that has appeared so far. There will be four types of categories that they will be put into that say whether or not their reason for being akumatized was valid or not.

Categories:

1. Valid- The reason they were akumatized is completely understandable and could happen to anyone.

2. Semi-Valid- It is still understandable, but for things that are relatively normal. Like losing a contest, being rejected by a crush, or failing a test.

3. You Brought This On Yourself- Akumatized over something that was basically their fault to begin with and is not valid at all.

4. What The Hell- An akumaization that makes no sense at all and most likely not really much of a reason to be akumatized in the first place.

Season One:

Nino Lahiffe- Bubbler: Valid. Gabriel is a jerk that would not let his son's best friend throw him a birthday party.

Xavier Ramier- Mr. Pigeon: Semi-Valid. Was just trying to feed the pigeons, but had been aware that there was a rule/law against it.

Aurore Beauréal- Stormy Weather: Semi-Valid. Lost a contest, but almost had it rubbed in her face when she was told that she lost by a lot.

Alix Kubdel- Timebreaker: Valid. Had her family heirloom destroyed not even an hour after she got it because other people did not put a pocket watch in their pocket when she asked them to hold it during her race.

Théo Barbot- Copycat: Semi-Valid. Believed that the girl he had a crush on was dating someone else, but was treating the situation more that she was an object that he could take if he wanted to.

Jalil Kubdel- Pharaoh: Valid. While it is never a good idea to try and resurrect the dead, his father rejected his theory about the spell even when they were in a city of magical heroes and villains.

Alya Césaire- Lady Wifi: Semi-Valid. Was wrongly suspended because Chloe was being a brat. She may have been taking pictures of Chloe's locker, but the door was open and Chloe had accused her of breaking into it.

Nathaniel Kurtzberg- The Evillustrator: Valid. Was embarrassed by having his crush revealed by a bully and humiliated when the drawings of his crush were revealed to everyone.

Roger Raincomprix- Rogercop: Semi-Valid. Was wrongfully fired for not arresting a girl that the mayor's daughter accused of theft even without proof, but had not done any sort of investigation at all about the missing bracelet.

Lê Chiến Kim- Dark Cupid: Valid. May have been rejected by his crush but had his heart broken on Valentine's day and humiliated by the girl he had a crush on.

Mylène Haprèle- Horrificator: Semi-Valid. We all get scared and she was trying to be brave for the film, but she was also the one that purposely signed up to be the lead in a horror movie.

Armand D'Argencourt- Darkblade: Semi-Valid. Lost the mayoral election, but was also running because he thought that he should reclaim his family's lost seat of power from back in medieval times. It's been hundreds of years, man. Get over it.

Fred Haprèle- Mime: Valid. Was wrongfully fired from his job because a co-worker had sabotaged him to gain the lost job for himself.

Jean Duparc- Magician of Misfortune: What The Hell. We were never even given a reason for why he was akumatized in the first place.

Rose Lavillant- Princess Fragrance: Valid. Simply wanted to give a letter to a prince to thank him for all the charity work he does, but the letter was destroyed by a bully.

Ivan Bruel- Stoneheart: Valid. Believed that his crush rejected him while also being bullied/teased over the crush in the first place. Was also bullied over being akumatized in the first place and called a monster.

Otis Césaire- Animan: What The Hell. So, he was akumatized because a teenage boy thought that he could out-run a panther. Even for a zookeeper, is that really something to be upset about?

Simón Grimault- Simon Says: Valid. May have lost a contest, but was basically cheated out of a win because Gabriel did not even really seem like he was going to participate in the first place and he was not even given the chance to try his act.

Vincent Aza- Pixelator: You Brought This On Yourself. A creepy stalker that wants a picture of his favorite rock star and will try anything to get it. "Yicks" is all I have to say.

Jagged Stone- Guitar Villain: Valid. Was told that he had to change his look and music to the complete opposite of his own just because his manager liked a teenage pop star more than him.

Wang Cheng- Kung Food: Valid. He lost a contest, but that was only because Chloe was a brat that sabotaged him.

Max Kanté- Gamer: Semi-Valid. He lost a chance to be in a video game contest but was more upset over losing his chance because he lost to a girl.

Juleka Couffaine- Reflekta: Valid. She was trying to break her "photo curse" but lost her chance because Chloe had her locked in the bathroom so she could stand next to her crush/obsession.

Manon Chamack- Puppeteer: Valid. She is a little girl that was simply trying to win a game and did not really see why having a doll that was given to her was wrong.

Sabrina Raincomprix- Vanisher: Valid. Had a fight with her best friend and then said best friend also pretended that she was invisible because she was a brat.

Chloé Bourgeois- Antibug: You Brought This On Yourself. She was a brat that was called out for lying about being the reason for an akumaization by the hero that she admired.

Lila Rossi- Volpina: You Brought This On Yourself. She was called out for lying about being best friends with a superhero and trying to claim that she was also a hero with a fake miraculous. Karma will always come back to bite you, Liar Rossi.

Season 2:

Santa Claus- Santa Claws: Valid. Was trying to be a good samaritan, but was instead accused of kidnapping by a superhero.

Gabriel Agreste- Collector: You Brought This On Yourself. Gabriel is Hawkmoth and he akumatized himself. Need I say more.

Nadja Chamack- Prime Queen: You Brought This On Yourself. Her job may have been on the line, but she was willing to leave out information and use a picture taken out of context as her "proof" that the heroes were a couple.

Jean- Despair Bear: You Brought This On Yourself. Was trying to use humiliation to try and make a spoiled brat change her ways and was doing it in front of her class.

Kagami Tsurugi- Riposte: Valid. Thought that a single loss against a formidable opponent meant that she had lost her honor because of an over strict mother.

Gina Dupain- Befana: Semi-Valid. Had a hard time realizing that her grandaughter was growing up, but all grandparents feel that way.

Markov- Robostus: Valid. Even as a robot, he still had feelings, but was told he was just a toy and locked away like an object.

Mr. Damocles- Dark Owl: You Brought This On Yourself. If you are a high school principal with no reason or skill to become a hero, don't try and be one while exhausting the real heroes in the process because they keep having to save you.

August- Gigantitan: Valid. He's a literal baby.

André- Glaciator: Semi-Valid. Was told that the special "soulmate" ice cream that he believed in was not magical, but it was still only one girl that did not want that ice cream.

Ella and Etta Césaire- Sapotis: You Brought This On Yourself. They may be young girls, but they had repeatedly been told to go to bed and were rightfully punished for their bad behavior.

Adrien's bodyguard/The Gorilla- Gorizilla: Valid. He was just trying to do his job and was having an extra stressful day with his charge running off and disappearing with almost half of Paris looking for him.

Anarka Couffaine- Captain Hardrock: Valid. Roger was a jerk to her, telling her that her loud music could not be played during the festival instead of simply telling her to turn it down a little.

Clara Nightingale- Frightningale: Valid. Was told that she could not perform or shoot her music video in France anymore because Chloe was being a brat over not being the star in the music video.

Ondine- Syren: Semi-Valid. She believed that she was rejected by her crush, but there had actually not been any real rejected on Kim's part.

Caline Bustier- Zombizou: Semi-Valid. While she took the akuma to protect her student, the akuma was only there because she made her student believe that she was in trouble for being a victim of bullying

Philippe- Frozer: Valid. He is close to losing his business because of the lack of customers.

Audrey Bourgeois- Style Queen: You Brought This On Yourself. She is a grown woman throwing a temper tantrum because she had to sit in the second row of a fashion show.

Penny Rolling- Troublemaker: Valid. Give the woman a bloody break. She deserves it for putting up with you crazy people and a freaking crocodile every day.

Queen Bee/Chloe Bourgeois-Queen Wasp: You Brought This On Yourself. While she had been trying to impress the mother she thought would never love her, she still stole a miraculous, almost caused a train to crash, and used her powers selfishly.

Marc Anciel-Reverser: Valid. He had his notebook destroyed and confidence ruined after trying to put himself out there for the first time because of a big misunderstanding between himself, Nathaniel, and Marinette.

Nora Césaire- Anansi: Semi-Valid. She was trying to protect her sister, but was being super overprotective and did not have faith in actual superheroes.

André Bourgeois- Malediktator: Valid. He was trying to keep his family happy and together but was faced against a brat of a daughter and a controlling wife where neither respected him.

Boy- Sandboy: Semi-Valid. He was a little boy that had a frightening nightmare, but nightmares are pretty common and normal in life.

Lila Rossi- Volpina: You Brought This On Yourself. She wanted to be akumatized and gladly welcomed the chance to be a villain again.

Nathalie Sancoeur- Catalyst: You Brough This On Yourself. She was willingly akumatized. Nothing more needs to be said.

Rena Rouge/Alya Cesair- Rena Rage: Valid. Took a negative emotions arrow for her boyfriend and had all her love put in reverse and turned into rage.

Carapace/Nino Lahiffe- Shell Shock: Valid. Just saw his superhero girlfriend be akumatized and was both losing hope and was hit by a negative emotions arrow.

Heroes' Day Villains: Valid. They all believed that one of their town heroes had been killed by the akumatized form of their other main hero. They had lost hope.

Season 3:

Lila Rossi- Chameleon: You Brought This On Yourself. She literally grabbed the akuma out of the air purposely got akumatized to try and ruin Adrien's friendships and get another shot at defeating Ladybug.

Thomas Astruc- Animaestro: What The Hell. So, he was akumatized because no one recognized him as a director of an animation movie. I did not really understand it. He was a director of an animation movie. Why would anyone recognize him if they had not seen the movie credits and know who the director was in the first place?

Rolland Dupain- Bakerix: What The Hell. I'm still confused over him. Was he akumatized because Marinette lied about who she was or was it because he was upset over modern baking techniques outshining his own? I did not get it.

Marianne Lenoir- Backwarder: Valid. She had been waiting a long time for the person that she loved, only to believe that he no longer cared for her.

Max Kanté- Gamer 2.0: Semi-Valid. He could not find a person to test out the game that he had made and was told no by a lot of people. A person can only take rejection for so long.

Tom Dupain- Weredad: Valid. He wanted to protect his daughter from heartbreak and was a victim of a lie gone way out of hand.

Luka Couffaine- Silencer: Valid. The song, look, and music that he and his friends created was stolen and his friend had been threatened when they tried to get their music back.

Kagami Tsurugi- Oni-Сhan: Valid. She might have been jealous, but that was only because Liar Rossi lied her way into her friend's home, kissed him without his permission, and claimed that the two were a couple even when he was obviously uncomfortable with her kissing him.

Sabrina Raincomprix- Miraculer: Semi-Valid. She was yelled at by her friend even though she was simply trying to help her after she fought off being akumatized.

Alya Césaire & Nino Lahiffe- Oblivio: What The Hell. They were akumatized over being caught playing a silly video game. That is a very stupid reason.

Wayhem- Party Crasher: Valid. He thought that his friend lied to him about not being able to have friends over and was then rejected at the door of his friend's house when he thought that there was a party there he could attend.

Chris Lahiffe- Christmaster: Semi-Valid. He was upset over not being able to get his presents early, but what kid wouldn't be upset over that.

Manon Chamack- Puppeteer: Semi-Valid. Wanted to play with the big kids and felt ignored by them all day. But that is pretty common for little kids to feel, especially when older siblings and their friends are involved.

Aurore Beauréal- Stormy Weather: Valid. Not only were her grades slipping, but she was also ridiculed by a bully, bullied by her saying 'once a villain always a villain.'

Ms. Mendeleiev- Kwamibuster: Semi-Valid. She was humiliated on live television when trying to prove herself as a great scientist, but she had not even bothered to look at the footage she had before going on the show.

Dormant Sentimonster- Feast: What The Hell. An akumatized sentimonster. I have officially seen it all now.

Juleka Couffaine- Reflekta/Reflectdoll: Valid. She was trying to start her dream of being a model but was basically chased out because Alya was pushing her matchmaking over her friend's dream.

Tomoe Tsurugi- Ikari Gozen: Semi-Valid. Her daughter had disobeyed her to play a game that she did not think was worth the time, but she was still an overly strict mother that was trying to control her daughter's every move.

Vivica- Desperada: Valid. She was fired for a completely ridiculous reason and her boss was quick to try and find a replacement for her.

Claudie Kanté- Startrain: Valid. She was a nervous wreck over if she was close to achieving her dream of being an astronaut while also being a worried mother about having to leave her son if she did get accepted into training.

Xavier Ramier- Mr. Pigeon: You Brought This On Yourself/What The Hell. This guy had been akumatized about 24 times. Enough said.

Future Chris Lahiffe- Timetagger: What The Hell. We are never even given a reason why he was akumatized in the first place.

Cat Noir- Cat Blanc: Valid. He had just found out that his father is the supervillain that has been terrorizing Paris for years and that the mother that disappeared has been under his house the entire time in a coma.

Alya Césaire/Rose Lavillant/Juleka Couffaine- Lady Wifi/Princess Fragrance/Reflekta: Valid. They believed that their friend had sent a horrible message to them in return for their heartfelt messages about them supporting him in his time of pain.

Nathalie Sancoeur- Catalyst: You Brought This On Yourself. She was willingly akumatized again, nothing more and nothing less.

André & Audrey Bourgeois- Heart Hunter: Semi-Valid. They had been fighting and not as in-love as they probably had been once upon a time, but they had never thought about a marriage counselor before.

Queen Bee/Chloe Bourgeois- Miracle Queen: You Brought This On Yourself. Even after being told that she will not get the bee miraculous back, she still tries getting it from Ladybug multiple times. And then she willingly works with Hawkmoth.

[casadepalermo]

Hi! First of all. YOU LIKED MY FIC♥️♥️♥️.

This is me rightnow:

😁

Okay but now seriously what I came to bother you for.

So I asked for your meta for Martín and it was *chef's kiss* 😙. Really so good, I'm really interested in your vision of the characters.

Soooooo, meta for Andrés, please?🥺

I can’t wait to read more! It’s the strangest thing bc I want to read fic so bad but then I’m like I want to write something at the same time lol

Andrés is tough because he’s such a great character— he has a lot of different facets because he’s so eccentric, narcissistic, but then he also has this capability for great emotion and he just radiates crazy passion; with just about everything he does, he does it with poise and grace but also with an edge of a slightly demented cult leader because it’s almost like he has a god complex when dealing with the hostages.

Andrés has an OCD concerning his appearance and about what other people think of him. Yes he’s an egotistical maniac as well but his self assuredness of his greatness comes from the way he has perfected this perfect polished image of himself. Berlin is so upset when accused of sex trafficking on the news, upset on a level that has everything to do with his pride. He might be a thief but he has his own sense of morals. He goes to extreme lengths to secure an interview with the press during the mint heist because he wanted the dignity of his character sustained. During the interview he performs like he’s in this great Shakespearean act. But essentially he is controlling the narrative of himself so he is seen just as he wants himself to be depicted to the outside world and media. Given how much he seems to care about what the world thinks of him, it makes sense that he would have another curated image of himself-tweaked just so that the people around him also perceive him in the way he wants. For example, he purposely hides the fact that he is ill bc indubitably that doesn’t mesh with how he wants to be viewed by his friends.

He’s been married and remarried and married again. For whatever reason, each of these women evidently don’t live up to his expectations or don’t fit with his perfected persona.

I don’t think Andrés goes to bed without at least mentally considering his outfit for the next day— the scarves, fedora, extravagant dressing gowns— it’s all over the top! He’s obviously so obsessive about his clothes and we aren’t really given a reason why other than to create an obvious contrast with Sergio’s lack of any particular fashion sense at all so we can only guess.

I think it’s really interesting that Andrés somehow almost forces Martin’s role in life to help boost his image. Martin dresses pretty normal usually aside from the time he want all Trent Reznor with his black suit and black tie. Berlin dresses far more fancier and posh which I always thought was kind of funny because I initially expected Palermo to be really into his outfits after he starts chanting about homosexual sex during the dinner because he was all slapping his but with his perfectly tailored leather jacket and the waistband strap or whatever (I don’t even know what it’s called ) I figured he must have some other colorful outfits (and he does) but it’s obvious he doesn’t care about fashion and perfecting his appearance the way Andres does. Berlin’s entire wedding was basically in uniform which goes along with the idea of needing to control his image. I don’t know why he let Martin get away with that hot pink shirt except that it just seems that Andrés makes exceptions for Martin. I wouldn’t be surprised if Berlin bought Palermo some of his nicer outfits (like the one with the vest and then the jacket) because Martin seemed fine running around like Steve Irwin at one point with that stupid tan shirt.

But even with Martin Andrés is careful to leave him in the background just enough so he can parade around with his expensive women and whatnot, controlling the narrative, keeping him at a distance and I think he takes Martin’s loyalty a bit for granted. He doesn’t introduce or include Martin in the heist with his son and there’s no indication that this was during the time when the two of them had their falling out, so why not involve Martin? And I think the answer to that is that Andrés cares so much about his image and Palermo is a wild card so he excludes him on purpose.

Andrés can be quite mean obviously but I think he really cares about his son. Despite all the things he says to Rafael “you were a nuclear warhead!” I think we can also really tell how excited and animated Andrés is that scene. The man stopped to play follow the finger with lobsters!- he was having a good time despite the fact that the two of them are clearly estranged to some extent and he also had his own interior motives. But the look Berlin gives Rafael after their heist, he’s beaming with pride and glowing like a pregnant woman when that suitcase pops back up and Rafael has this huge smile. And Berlin is proud that he has taught his son something he feels is worthy.

I think the flashbacks show us that Berlin would have probably enjoyed being a father. All the shit he says to Rafael is basically bluff; he just wants appear like the most ideal father with the prettiest wife, most money, who is stern and commanding, etc because that’s what Andrés seems to think a man should be according to the way he presents himself.

If the show had gone a different way, I think what we would eventually see in Berlin’s character arch would have a lot to do with the breaking apart of that image he had made of himself. Berlin would have more time spent with his son and Rafael has already showed that he has his own way of operating as an individual with a different moral code. I think Berlin would eventually let go of that image because he would have to if he wanted to keep his son in his life.

I think the same would happen with his relationship with Martin. Berlin is divorced again, his image is crumbling but he’s also willingly letting it happen and I think he would eventually incorporate Martin back into his life where they would remain close platonically or romantically with the end result being that Martin gets more attention and wouldn’t be left on the back burner as much so to speak because as Berlin grows as an individual so would his idea of the image of himself that he wants to have and project to the world and I think he would find that he wants his family and friends as something associated with his legacy in the end

[into-september]

Sole Crusher

 Some clip running on autoplay had what looked like André trying to console Zoé and honestly those two finding each other would make everything worth it.

SPOILERS BELOW THIS POINT

- WHO ARE YOU, DISEMBODIED PERSONAL TOUR GUIDE LADY

- Marinette once again demonstrates her utter ignorance of the concept of “bad parents”, and “the people you love” shall for Zoé then be ~friends~. Which I don’t usually have a problem with except the implications that these friends will be Kitty Section and while I don’t mind the individual members I, uh. Really wish Kitty Section would just break up already.

- This is a meet cute

- Marinette… has a thing for befriending the friendless, but the only one of them who has gotten even close to being being friendless because they are genuinely socially incompetent has been Marc, and even he was just adorably shy. Kagami should count but the story frames her loneliness as the result of her mother, not her massive awkwardness (it suddenly strikes me re. “Mr Pidgeon 72”, but Kagami has been shown to hang out with Kitty Section a number of times now, and with Marinette’s friends on the insta. Are you SURE you’re her only friend, Marinette?)

- Marinette displays the universal notebook of the easily distracted

- No favouritism going on with mother of the year at least, though not very surprising. Zoé has also clearly been taught to play the part of pleasing her, though not internalised it.

- “Oh Chloé, never change,” I kind of want to say, but the way this show is going she WILL probably have to change some way or the other and if that’s the case I’d rather it be the other way

- Heyyyy is that the kid who was unmasked as Cat Noir at the pool

- oh my god Sabrina

- one day I might talk about Sabrina, and the fact that Chloé is still in her photo in the OP, and the fact that they’re both still in the good guy corner in THAT regard because I’m pretty sure Lila is not there. Boy howdy is Sabrina a conflicted case for me.

- “Cockroaches in her locker” sounds like the dumb man’s version of “Operation: Anthy is a weirdo who keeps a snail in her pencil box”

- things I did not expect out of this episode: The answer to which “A. Bourgeois” made that film with Adrien’s mum. Anyway holy fuck the one thing I wanted out of this episode really happened. Jesus. I did not dare hope but I got it anyway.

- Also: Beneath Emilie’s portrait is that of a woman with Kagami’s face and longer hair and does this mean that André, of all people, is the link between Gabriel, Audrey and Tomoe

- So Gabriel, are these feelings of “being rejected by your family” anything you’ve picked up closer to home? Like, say, the back of your mansion?

- Anyway, welcome to Paris. Be like a native and get akumatised.

- Of all the places Chloé would chose to hide, but hey I’m not complaining

- Either the kwamis all know Cat Noir’s identity, or they can instinctively find each other. Either way I liiiike that we’re getting to see their powers go haywire.

- This is a kind of interesting three-way battle between Marinette, Hawkie, and Chloé.

- Also her telling CN to shut up while she’s giving her civilian friendship speech

- “Please don’t tell my wife about this” oh god the red flags in millions and the fact that I still can’t tell whether this show recognises abuse as abuse because it’s still ~funny~ that Sabrina is doing Chloé’s homework in the closet

- I mean, it IS funny, but only because like all of Chloé (as this episode well illustrates) is so caricatured. Audrey is just… not caricatured enough, some times. Chloé is ridiculous and that’s why we laugh at her, but I’ve known people uncomfortably close to Audrey.

- the irony of Ladybug’s new charms being shaped off of their akuma form

- Once again Adrien is at Kitty Section practice. No Kagami though.

- Zoé’s great big speech o’loneliness is a lesson for us all in telling vs showing and this ending is, for lack of a better word, mawkish. But I like seeing Ivan do something, because I don’t think he HAS ever since. Well. “Origins”

End takeaway: The best thing to happen this episode was André Bourgeois and I ain’t complaining about that. But Zoé is… well. Interesting as someone uncomfortable as the social chameleon? A commentary on Adrien and Lila? Clearly set apart from Chloé who isn’t acting?

Attempts at fitting in with her toxic family aside, she’s just another nice kid who is Marinette’s friend, but this show already has a good dozen other nice kids who is Marinette’s friend. What makes Zoé interesting isn’t anything at all about her as a person, but how she relates to her family.

Which, speaking of, illustrates one peculiar aspect here: The Chloé-Audrey synthesis. The two were introduced by their separation which Chloé desperately wanted to bridge. The separation was bridged - by Marinette of all people - by telling Audrey that Chloé was a horrible, horrible person. After that, Audrey’s appearances have mostly been to act in tandem with Chloé, which she still does at the end of this episode. Does she want to send Zoé away because she’s genuinely cares what the girl does? Is she genuinely upset because of who Zoé’s friends are? Her early interactions with Chloé did not suggest that she’s someone to care enough to pay attention to what her offspring is up to and who they friends were. Yet in both “Maledictator” and here, she’s used as little more than the adult extension on Chloé’s demands. Before Audrey returned to Paris, André would occasionally put his foot down; now, Chloé gets her will by drumming up her mother’s support, because André does not oppose his wife. This is a weird continuation of the beginning where Chloé was struggling to emulate her so as to get her attention. The implication seems to be that Audrey changed her mind about Zoé because Chloé changed her mind about Zoé, and that is a strange inversion of how the Chloé-Audrey relationship was first introduced.

I’m not holding my breath for any more Zoé-André bonding, since the episode also ends with pretty clearly placing Zoé outside the family to which André is still inside. She seems set to be the Harry Potter to the upper class Dursleys. The moral, as it stands after her first episode, is that Zoé exists to be what Chloé should have been. Here’s to hoping that she’ll be something more than the blunt vessel of making a point that never needed to be made in the first place.  

[oblivionhold]

I saw a post from someone I follow talking about current WIPs and asking people to send them asks about it. So I decided to do the same because I want to talk about my current WIPs!

Sister Study is my current 'most finished' WIP, in that I've actually written the first couple of chapters. The primary focus on the story is exploring Chloé's and Zoé's relationship as sisters, focusing on Zoé's attempts to redeem Chloé and why Zoé would go so far for someone who has only ever shown her hatred and disgust. There's also some other Zoé stuff in there, such as her having a one-sided crush on Marinette that she doesn't expect to get reciprocated because of how much Marinette cares for Adrien and her wanting to make friends with and redeem Sabrina as well. I basically started writing this because I realized that I should probably write something about Zoé instead of just ignoring her.

Tanzsprache is also a Chloé redemption story, diverging in Frightingale. André has more backbone, and refuses to back down to Chloé's threat to call Audrey. So Chloé goes through with that call, but it doesn't end like she hopes. Audrey just dismisses her and claims that it's not her fault that Chloé is too unexceptional to win a contest, causing Chloé to get akumatized into Ladybird, who is basically Copycat but for Ladybug (and instead of wanting to make Ladybug look bad, she just wants to prove that she can be a good Ladybug). This fic primarily came from my distaste at how the lead up to Frightingale's akumatization played out, so it's kind of salty, but I don't think it's any worse than, say, Tomoe Gozen.

My current WIP Title for the next fic is The Adventures of Volpina and Queen Bee, which is pretty obvious from the title what it is. Lila shows up at the beginning of season 1, Fu gives her the fox and Chloé the bee, and it's kind of a rewrite from there, though things diverse significantly at the end of 'season 1' (the Antibug episode equivalent, specifically). This is kind of a kitchen sink fic, exploring concepts like:

What would happen if our heroes didn't have the Ladybug miraculous to use?

A different kind of love square from canon, where the heroines are mutually interested in superhero form (but aren't dating due to identity rules) and hate each other in civilian form?

How would Fu deal with a superheroine who not only despises the secret identity rule but also gets very upset that she's being kept in the dark? How would Lila deal with simultaneously wanting to make her superheroine partner happy while still maintaining a level of control over her due to knowing more than her?

How would a Marinette who doesn't know Lila is lying and a Lila who has no reason to go after Marinette interact?

What is up with Sabrina?

And much more. This is my biggest project, which also means it's the furthest away from completion, unfortunately.

I've also got plans for a Maribat fic, but the twist is that the 'bat' involved is the 1966 Adam West Batman TV show. I do genuinely enjoy that show, so it's not just a pisstake on the entire Maribat formula, but it is also kind of that. My current plan is a two chapter fic, harkening back to the TV show''s formula, primarily so I can make a 'same Bat-day, same Bat-website!" joke at the end of the first chapter. Still the least developed, if the lack of title wasn't a clue.

I have a couple of ideas for other fics, but nothing concrete, and given my writing speed, I'm not gonna be writing any other fic for a while, assuming the show doesn't make any of the current ones obsolete. So, yeah, if you want to know anything else about the fics, just ask.

[queenamongthorns]

Daminette December Day 1 - Just A Friend

The twins were basically modern day royalty. Sure, the Wayne family was the richest, the Agreste family the most famous, but the twins were something better. Marinette Dupain-Cheng, and her identical twin sister Starrette, belonged to two long lines of important families. The Dupain family has been important bakers for over eleven generations while the Cheng family was a prestigious family to rival Kagami’s Tsurugi family back in China. The Cheng family are direct descendants of the late Emperor Wu of Han, Liu Che.

Adrien Agreste was a little over a year older than the twins, and this made them ideal playmates. Gabriel Agreste, along with his wife Emilie Agreste, would often invite themselves over to the Dupain-Cheng bakery to have the children play. Of course, Gabriel would try to goad Sabine into business discussions and Emilie would have baking lessons with Tom while the children played.

This continued until the children turned 5. At this time, Paris was granted a new mayor who happened to have a daughter the same age. At this time, a fourth family joined the seemingly ever expanding category, the Bourgeois family, also known worldwide in the fashion industry. While Tom, Sabine, and Emilie were more than happy to accept the new couple into their ranks, Gabriel was none too pleased with the addition of André and Audrey Bourgeois. Their daughter joined the frequent play dates.

Chloe Bourgeois was fine as a child, but as the four friends grew, so did her entitlement and cruelty. The twins were painfully aware of her familial situation while Adrien remained blissfully ignorant.

When they started school, Marinette and Starrette never intended to hide who they were, people just didn’t seem to connect the dots. Although they were sure that they would know if there was another Dupain-Cheng family, but the girls shrugged and let it go. After begging Chloe to leave it alone, the three girl slowly integrated into their new surroundings. Chloe made friends with a quiet, mousy girl named Sabrina and the twins made friends with everyone else.

Chloe frequently complained to her parents about her friends fraternizing with those beneath them, but the Bourgeois couple knew which family had more power and wisely kept this to themselves. While not afraid to duke it out with the Agreste’s, and vice versa, everyone in their circle knew better than to cross the Dupain-Cheng’s.

The world felt shock when Emilie mysteriously disappeared. Gabriel used the event to excuse himself back into his dark and dreary shell of a mansion, while Adrien was left to emotionally fend for himself. The four friends were separated, unless it was for work.

At this time, the Agreste brand started using Adrien as a model who quickly became the very face of their brand. Chloe would sometimes model for her mother’s brand, but when Emilie disappeared, Audrey decided that Paris was ridiculous, utterly ridiculous, and moved to New York. Leaving behind a devastated Chloe and a spineless André who tried to numb his princess’s pain with bought affection.

Across the sea, in New York, Audrey Bourgeois has finally run into the Wayne family. At the time, a 34 year old Bruce Wayne is accompanied by his two sons, 14 year old Dick Grayson-Wayne and 13 year old Jason Todd-Wayne. She is unable to wiggle herself into the Wayne’s good graces, but is successful in making the Bourgeois name important in America.

Audrey is unaware that Bruce was already more than aware of Paris’ important families. More than aware of the Bourgeois, Agreste, and Dupain-Cheng families than anyone would expect. However, what else would anyone expect of Batman? The only reason he had yet to approach the families was the lack of a reasonable excuse. Unlike the other families, whose children were 8 or 9 years old, his were teenagers and too old for “play dates”.

Chloe and the twins slowly begin to drift apart as Chloe becomes crueler and unreasonable. Starrette is the twin who is able to keep a relationship with Chloe. Marinette wants nothing to do with her if she is going to act in this manner. Starrette and Marinette’s relationship becomes strained due to the difference in morals, which is odd considering that the two are currently 9 1/2.

Not long after, a new Robin appears, along with 11 year old Tim Drake-Wayne. Now that Bruce has a son within an acceptable age range of the Parisian children, he begins to organize a trip to introduce himself to the three other prominent families. This is derailed when his blood son, 10 year old Damian Wayne, is dropped off at his doorstep a couple months later, not but a few days before departure. The trip is postponed due to his lack of... social skills.

Starrette and Marinette are closer than ever, with Chloe integrating back into their friendship. This is due to Marinette being chosen to bare the Ladybug Miraculous. Starrette was not given a miraculous, instead she is being taught to become the next master of the Miraculous box. While Marinette has an affinity to being a miraculous holder, Starrette is gifted with an affinity to miraculous magic. Quickly learning the different spells and Kwami healing techniques from Master Fu, the current holder of the Miraculous Box, she is now being taught to use each miraculous. Before she can be entrusted with the Miraculous Box, Starrette must bind with each Kwami. For how can she match a Kwami and their chosen without understanding the Kwami.

The childhood four are once again reunited with the new school year, Adrien finally joining them at school. The four all start Collège Françoise Dupont at the same time. While Miss Bustier is quite obviously wishy-washy in her beliefs, her teaching is sound and much more appreciated than Miss Mendeleiev’s. As the next Guardian of the Miraculous Box, Starrette is very much aware of Adrien being Chat Noir, and painfully disapproving of his constant flirting with her twin, but there’s not much she can do. Luckily the four friends are not plagued with romantic infighting and are able to peacefully coexist. During particularly hard weeks at school, the four friends (yes, that includes Adrien) will go to Chloe’s suite and have a major spa day; complete with hot stone massages, facial masks, and mani-pedi’s.

It is during one of these spa days that they are interrupted by a knock on Chloe’s door. Adrien, being the only one without a facial mask on yet, is the one to open the door. He is surprised to see their parents outside. His father looks ready to kill someone, Chloe’s father looks ready to pass out, and the Dupain-Cheng’s are just smiling at him pleasantly without a care in the world. Before he can ask what is happening, they bath into the room. Sabine helps the confused girls sadly take off their fresh masks while Gabriel rummages through their clothes to try and find them suitable outfits. Tom is trying to calm down André while simultaneously trying to explain to the four teens what is going on. The four are shocked to discover that Chloe’s mother, Audrey, is busy downstairs stalling Bruce Wayne and his four sons while they get them. Apparently Bruce showed up at the hotel, claiming to have a meeting with the four parents (and André is going to fire someone!), and the four children had better hurry up and get dressed!

Once groomed to perfection, thanks to Gabriel Agreste who is sure to take credit of any compliments thrown their way, they make their way over to the meeting room the Wayne’s and Audrey are currently speaking in. When the doors open, whatever Audrey was saying gets cut off by the uncomfortable silence that follows.

It is Starrette who makes the first move, introducing herself and Marinette to the Wayne’s before moving on to introduce her parents and friends. She is not presumptuous enough to introduce the three adults who, while they might be close family friends, with snap her in half before she shows them up in front of such important guests. After the Bourgeois couple and Gabriel introduce themselves, the Wayne’s proceed to return the favor, Bruce introducing himself then his four sons. The four Parisian friends are pleasantly surprised to find out Damian and Tim are their age. Bruce quickly suggest that the eight of them “go play,” which is met with a few eye rolls and some grumbling before they comply and shuffle out the door.

Jason is quick to make twin jokes. This does not bother Marinette and Starrette. When they continue not to be goaded, he moves on to blonde jokes and picks fun at Adrien while Dick tries to defuse the situation he is causing. Chloe and Tim are already in a deep conversation about how immature her classmates/his brothers are and how they deserve better. Marinette and Starrette turn to each other and laugh until they realize that leaves one more brother. Damian has sat down in one of the luxurious armchairs lining the hallway.

Damian, who is currently on his phone, sees them approach and tries to shut it down. He’s not here to make friends and tells them as much. Instead of becoming upset or emotional as he expected of the twins, they sit down on each side of him and get on their phones as well. Most girls would be indignant at being ignored and snapped at by such an important person, these girls acted like it didn’t even matter!

At the look on his face, shock with an angry undertone, Jason and Dick were amazed. Damian wasn’t the type for this kind of interaction. Adrien wasn’t surprised that the twins weren’t impressed by his attitude. They were (close) friends with Chloe after all. Speaking of Chloe, Chloe and Tim has moved on from their previous topic to a new one. They were now discussing their siblings, Tim’s adopted and Chloe’s honorary. While Tim was explaining his sibling’s situations to Chloe, who, for once, was actually listening, when he looked over at Damian and saw the situation. Chloe didn’t see the big deal. If Damian was snubbing the twins, they should snub him right back! The three brothers laughed at Damian amongst themselves while Chloe and Adrien looked on.

The day ended with the parents having several new connections, including each other’s, and the children having new friends. Damian has yet to come around, but the twins had forcibly put their numbers into his phone while stealing his own number for themselves. He would break, and so he did within the month. Their constant memes, well wishes, and thoughtful conversations brought him over to their side.

The original four friends world became bigger by two, Tim and Damian, while the older brothers were just that, honorary older brothers. The closest of them all, however, were Marinette and Damian. Over the years, Marinette began to think of Damian as more than just one of her childhood friends, but she worried that he wouldn’t reciprocate. When Star asked her twin why she felt this, Marinette lamented, “Because Star! To him, I’m just a friend...”

@daminette-december2019

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 35 Review: In Which Matt Calls Out Jean Paul

{ Not available on YouTube }

{ Synopses: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

{ Screencaps }

Welcome back to Maljardin, the beautiful tropical “paradise” that is, in reality, a deadly prison for the guests of Jean Paul Desmond and his demonic lookalike ancestor Jacques Eloi des Mondes. Tensions mount as more and more characters realize that the island’s multimillionaire owner god refuses to let them escape and pushes for a séance in order to contact his late wife. One, Reverend Matthew Dawson, ex-minister and current stalker of one Holly Marshall, has reached the breaking point and now dares challenge Jean Paul.

Now, I know that I briefly compared and contrasted Matt with Reverend Trask (specifically, the second Reverend Trask) from Dark Shadows in my Episode 10 review last year. There are a handful of similarities--including both running boarding schools of questionable ethics (which I forgot to list in that review)--but they remain characters with fundamentally different personalities at their cores. In spite of this, Matt does share one of the favorite hobbies of the men of the Trask family: YELLING in an exaggerated Mid-Atlantic accent in long and emotional speeches! That’s what happens for a good portion of the episode, and I can’t deny that I find this sort of soap opera shouting match highly entertaining.

We open with Jean Paul descending the Great Hall’s staircase while wearing the Blue Suit of Sexiness, which he will continue to wear for the next few episodes. He sees Matt staring at the portrait of THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES and asks him if he’s “mesmerized by” him. (How could anyone not be, I wonder, before reminding myself that Matt is straight.)

“It seems everyone is, or at least the evil Raxl fears he’s spreading,” is the Reverend’s response.

“And you?”

“There is evil here, Mr. Desmond, but I don't believe in devils. I attribute it more realistically to a live, active human being.”

And then they exchange pissy faces to dramatic music.

I’ve noted before that I didn’t expect a minister like Matt (especially one who believes in other supernatural phenomena) to admit that he doesn’t believe in devils. Still, even if he did, that’s no guarantee that he would make a distinction between Jean Paul and Jacques or think anything of his sudden switches of personality beyond grief and/or mental illness.

The first shot of the glass-top table set up for the séance. Kind of odd that Jean Paul just happens to have a table with astrological symbols on it just lying around.

Just then, Raxl and Quito enter, and the former announces to Jean Paul, “It is foretold that the Conjure Woman one day will find death on Maljardin!” Jean Paul ignores this and tells Vangie (who also conveniently just entered) that she must hold the séance and he must speak to Erica.

Some Jean Paul crazy eyes. Shades of Gérard “Crazy Eyes” Berner, discussed in this entry.

“Master! In the Temple of the Serpent, the Conjure Woman was told that this séance must not take place! The spirits have spoken!” Raxl protests, but he ignores her. Remember, this is a man who announced three episodes ago that he is willing even to perform blood sacrifices to get his Erica back. He is crazy in love--literally. His obsession with Erica makes Matt’s decision to quit his ministry to stalk Holly seem sane.

“On Maljardin, only I speak!” Jean Paul declares, eyes wide and burning like the blue flames on a gas stove. He uses his “on this island, I am God” tone of voice, but sadly Jacques isn’t cheering him on this time. Speaking of Jacques, he immediately storms over to the portrait and shouts, “I must have contact with my darling!” as though he thinks that Jacques will willingly provide that. Oh, Jean Paul, my sweet summer child, if only you knew that he has no intention of resurrecting your dear, sweet Erica.

Alison arrives just in time to overhear him tell Matt that, as an “undesirable element that would ensure its failure,” he shouldn’t take part in the séance. He starts to ask Alison to join him, but then decides he would rather make a passive-aggressive comment about how Matt probably doesn’t believe in souls (WTF?), which triggers the following argument:

Jean Paul: "And the theologian, not because he believes in the soul, but because..."   Matt: "Because he is tolerant, Mr. Desmond!" Jean Paul: "Tolerant of what? My madness, perhaps?" Matt: "I did not say that!" Jean Paul: "Are you prepared to face the dead?"

He tries to get Vangie to let him choose who will participate in the séance, but she refuses because she understands spiritualist matters better than he does. (Also, she can teleport to and from Maljardin, so it’s not like she’s trapped on the island like the other guests. This means that she can stand up to Jean Paul without the risk of him imprisoning her.)

Raxl brings up the missing notes about Erica. Alison demands to know how she knows about them, and she claims that she knows because of how often she and Dan discussed them. Raxl accuses Alison of trying to hide the notes in the cove (but why would she store them so far from the lab?). Matt has a point when he says the following line:

I am accused of pushing Holly Marshall down the stairs, Dan Forrest is accused of tampering with the cryonics capsule, Mrs. Marshall is accused of trying to kill her own daughter, and you are accused of concealing Dr. Menkin’s notes that might bring Erica Desmond to life again!...Now, a séance. Who knows what new accusations we will hear and against whom, and I wonder who will make them?

Raxl, Vangie, and Quito visit the temple to pray for the protection of everyone during the séance. This is probably the point where Tarasca would have appeared and vanished for the first time in the original draft, but we may never know for sure. Meanwhile, Jean Paul brags both to Jacques’ portrait and to my hysterical laughter that he is now in full control of himself. Sure, Jan Jean.

I really like this shot of Jean Paul with his arms outstretched in front of Jacques' portrait. Taken out of context, it looks like he’s trying to hug Jacques. "Caressing" evil, indeed.

Matt approaches the stairway to the crypt, but Jean Paul stops him. Matt then remembers that he threatened to kill anyone who trespassed into the crypt, which shocks Alison. “Does it upset you that I want to protect your sister’s return?” he asks her, and this triggers a second, much longer argument between Jean Paul and Matt. As usual with long conversations on this show, I will only include the highlights and summarize the rest.

It starts out with Matt repeating that everyone on Maljardin is Jean Paul’s prisoner. He accuses him of making them all suspect each other as a deliberate act of divide-and-conquer. I think that, in order for that to be true, it would require Jean Paul to be both omniscient and omnipotent, neither of which he is. (Even his hidden camera system only covers certain rooms.) Matt also accuses Raxl and Vangie of “seeking guidance for further accusations,” whatever the hell that means.

“Do you fear to face your judgment day?” Jean Paul asks him, which momentarily shuts him up. He stares at Jean Paul, stunned at the thinly-veiled threat.

Meanwhile in the temple, Raxl and Vangie decide who should and shouldn’t attend the séance. In short, neither Holly nor Dan should attend, but Quito should.

When Raxl asks if Jean Paul should attend, Vangie faints onto the temple floor!

When Matt recovers, he makes a whole list of over-the-top accusations against Jean Paul: "Hear me! Be a little god on your insane Island, manipulate our lives, play games with our reason! Be both judge and jailer! Yes, raise the dead, walk on water! That will be next. Crucify yourself, but remember, you, too, will be judged!"

Matt trying to look intimidating.

Jean Paul (thinking): “Please. When I said I was God on this island, I didn’t mean it in that way.”

You know, Jean Paul’s behavior this week reminds me of someone--and no, I’m not referring to whom you probably think I’m going to. I’m thinking instead of Jerry Layton, the show’s co-creator, producer, and “so-called production expert” who apparently shared some notable personality traits with early Jean Paul. According to the show’s floor director, Bob Wilson:

To be honest with you I always thought, and I’m not the only one who thought this, that the Jean Paul Desmond character was really Jerry Layton.  Oh yes.  He was mad.  He was crazy.  He would rant and rave about the simplest thing.  And we would all stand around and wait until he did his little thing.  And it was almost like an actor taking his lines and just running amok with them.  I recall that--it was very easy to be intimidated by this character.   I remember [technical producer André “Andy” Moujean] and I coming away from that dinner and saying to each other--What are we getting ourselves into?[1]

According to StrangeParadise.net, Layton insisted on running the show on next to no budget, which earned him the nickname “Mickey Mouse” among the production team. There’s a hilarious photo on there of Colin Fox with a Mickey Mouse pin pinned on one of Jean Paul’s dressing gowns and a mischievous smile on his face. There’s also this one in the website’s archive of the wall where John Pashley, one of the cameramen, wrote the comment “While my prose will not compare with Proust, thank f.....g Christ for Mickey Mouse.”[2] Notable examples of Layton’s mismanagement of the show include the lack of air conditioning in the studio while filming in August (as noted in this quote on Fox’s IMDb page) and the grueling schedule for the cast and crew, which Wilson also mentioned in his interview:

We all put in horrendous hours, not only in the production, but in getting the thing together.  ...  There were an awful lot of people who stayed [in Chelsea, at Crawley studios] overnight.  I was not one of them, but I can remember the sound guys staying overnight, trying to meet deadlines, with their effects.  I can remember the lighting guys staying overnight, trying to get the right look on a particular scene. [...] The bus would deliver, say, 25 people, and at night, maybe 17 would go back, because the other people were staying overnight to try to make deadlines.[3]

Despite these similarities, however, I doubt that Jean Paul is based on Jerry Layton. First, there is no evidence that Ian Martin actually ever visited the set, despite his position as headwriter. In fact, according to Wilson, he never did:

SRS: I was curious whether you ever met Ian Martin--he was the guy who wrote the first seven or eight weeks.

BW: I did not. To the best of my knowledge, I don’t believe--which is an unbelievable statement to make, but I’m pretty sure I’m right in saying this--I do not believe that any of the writers ever attended a production meeting, when we were at the studio. Now if Ian Martin was there, it would have been fleetingly, and he was the initial writer. The reason I’m even bringing this up is it was the bane of the actors’ existence that this didn’t happen. Many times they would say, “How can this guy continue writing [the show]--he hasn’t even been here to see, to get the feel of the set, of the ambience...”

SRS: He was writing it, but you were taping at that point well in advance of the broadcast--I see on this plan [of the set, which BW had] here, there’s a date--”August 11, ’69, programs number 2 and 3”--I’m taking from this that the original production of the actual show began in August of ’69. I don’t believe it began running on Canadian television until October of ’69.

BW: That would be correct.

SRS: So Mr. Martin is happily writing his scripts, but he’s not viewing any of the episodes... So he’s just spinning it off in his little room.

BW: Which was a sin, because we could feel the way it should have gone, we could feel where it could go--we weren’t writers, and when I say “we” I include cast and crew, because we were a family, we were very much a family.  ... Had any one of the writers, Ian Martin or any one of the writers after that come out and even just spent some time, it would have paid so many dividends. As I say, I stand to be corrected, but to the best of my knowledge, that never took place.[4]

Second, such megalomaniacal types tend not to have a sense of humor regarding their own shortcomings. If Layton had even suspected that Jean Paul was supposed to represent him (assuming that he behaved as Wilson claims he did), I think that he would have insisted on changing his characterization earlier on. Most likely, Jean Paul’s characterization derives from the archetype of the Byronic lord of the manor, an extremely popular character trope in Gothic literature. Examples include Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre, Nicholas van Ryn from Dragonwyck, and (eventually) Richard Morgan from Martin’s 1979 novel Shadow Over Seventh Heaven. Despite this, I have to wonder if, when the actors were rehearsing this script, they were thinking of Mickey Mouse and his own so-called production expertise and putting their feelings about him into it.

Some delicious Raxl scenery-chewing in the Not-So-Hidden Temple after Vangie faints. “It is the prophecy,” she recalls in reference to Vangie’s prediction that she will die on Maljardin. “MUST IT BE NOW?”

Returning to our recap, Alison tries to shut Matt up because “Jean Paul is under a strain,” but he won’t have it. He proceeds to criticize Jean Paul to his face, and one has to wonder if some of these lines reminded Dan MacDonald of Mickey Mouse:

Why is it that no one’s feelings are to be considered, only his? There is no one, it seems, in all the world that has ever suffered except Jean Paul Desmond! No one has ever lost a loved one, only Jean Paul Desmond and his unique sorrow for his beloved Erica!

Colin Fox doing some literal backacting.

Jean Paul getting pissy.

We wondered whether we had seen him change into another man, one man one moment, another man the next! Now we are seeing the real man…A man who ignores the suffering of others, who is indifferent to the pain he inflicts upon them, who is willing to imprison them for all their lives for the sake of an impossible experiment in bringing back the dead, in getting what he wants because he suffers, because he is willing to punish the whole world in order to get what he wants out of blind selfishness masquerading as strength, this selfish thing! So great is his love of himself, which he calls love for his dear Erica!

 For the most part, he’s right about Jean Paul, save for the part about him being indifferent to others’ suffering. He’s indifferent to the detained guests’ wishes to escape the island, yes, but not to Alison’s mourning of her sister or Holly’s of her father. He just doesn’t want the tabloid press to find out about the cryonics situation and spread scandalous rumors (or, perhaps, a scandalous truth) about him and Erica. Matt thinks that the whole cryonics experiment is just as blasphemous and ridiculous as Jean Paul’s insistence that he is God on his island.

Jean Paul’s anger is so intense that it’s starting to mess up his shellacked hairdo.

Now it’s Jean Paul’s turn to fling accusations at him: "I did not pursue a young girl in the name of God and good works. I did not beset and harass a mere child out of a sick desire. And I did not strike the girl unseen and secretly fling her down the stairs because she knew, knew what you were!" A reminder: Holly is almost twenty-one, and yet Jean Paul refers to her as not just a child, but a young one. The way the characters keep talking about Holly like she’s seventeen is just baffling. Like I’ve said before, Matt’s attraction to Holly is already creepy enough without those kinds of implications, simply because of the former captor/former captive power dynamics involved.

Just after Jean Paul says that he is responsible for everyone on the island, Quito arrives, carrying Vangie. “Your responsibilities grow,” Matt tells him. “Now you have the soul [line flub for “blood?”] of Evangeline Abbott on your hands.” However, it turns out he spoke too soon, for Vangie soon recovers, albeit with a vision of death!

“Jean Paul, I saw death!” she says upon recovering. “The death I saw was not my own ending. A figure--it wasn’t clear.” And then she points to Jacques’ portrait and shouts, “That man! The Devil!”

This leads Alison to beg Jean Paul to cancel the séance. Jean Paul is surprised that "now the scientist believes in the devil." Jean Paul, being extremely stubborn, insists again on going through with the séance. But what unholy death and destruction will this séance wreak on Maljardin?

Jean Paul sitting down at the séance table during the credits.

Coming up next: The séance and a return to the YouTube episodes. (Am I the only one who’s been missing the ridiculous automatic captions? I hope not.) Shortly after that, the next part of my review of Shadow Over Seventh Heaven, which I would have posted before this one, but I was so much farther along with this one that I decided to post it first.

{<- Previous: Episode 34   ||   Next: Episode 36 ->}

Notes

[1] Bob Wilson, interview with S. R. Shutt, Ottawa, October 15, 2002. Wilson is also the one who called Layton the “so-called production expert,” which reminds me of David Benioff, the “so-called production expert” behind Game of Thrones whose mismanagement of that series is well-documented on the YouTube channel The Dragon Demands. In a sense, Benioff and Weiss wrote it like a soap opera, changing characterizations and “subverting expectations” at will with random plot twists--which is fine until you remember that they were running a high-budget adaptation of an unfinished book series.

[2] Another funny photo of the wall can be found here, On this one, someone dubbed the show “Canada’s own all-American T.V. series!” and used the Mark of Death (from a future storyline--not saying any more about it until later) as an unofficial logo.

[3] Wilson.

[4] Ibid.

[gataclism]

Parent swap AU

[Adrien isn't Gabriel's son, he's the son of the Mayor Bourgeois and the famous fashion designer Audrey Bourgeois. Chloe isn't the mayor's daughter, she's the face of the Agreste brand and the cause of her father's migraines.]

Adrien Bourgeois.

This does not change their personalities, Adrien is still a passive and polite boy. Who until recently, lived in New York with his mother.

After Emelie's death, Audrey closed off and left him in Paris for André to take care of him.

In this AU they're not together anymore, but for the sake of André's campaign they haven't formalized their divorce.

Where Audrey ignored and left Adrien on his own, André makes everything he can to spoil his son. Ecstatic for having him back. Adrien, still sad for his mom, but never one to told grudges, focuses on his relationship with his dad and in little time learns a bit about leadership.

Adrien still insists to André the over the top gifts are unnecessary, but still appreciate them.

André is still not present enough, although he doesn't mind Adrien hanging out on this office as long as he doesn't have guests. And actually tries to spend time with him when he can.

Adrien went to school in New York, but was home schooled for one year before deciding he wanted to go to public school, André was hyped his son actually asked for something.

Adrien begged Chloe to go to with him, he didn't want to be alone, and after pestering her enough, he convinced her to give it a try.

Chloe Agreste.

You can imagine how that goes. Losing her mom was really hard for Chloe, who considered Emelie her best friend. Not having his father’s support doesn't make her sad, it makes her angry.

She often challenges Gabriel, actually she challenges him on everything. Nor Gabriel nor Natalie know where that personality came from but there's little they can do.

More often than not, Chloe gets what she wants, although it always ends up with a big argument and headbutting with Gabe.

Gabriel is lowkey proud her daughter can stand on her own.

Chloe is a model for the Agreste brand, and is a little presumptuous because of it. Adrien and her are still childhood friends (and she keeps trying to convince him to model with her, Adrien's self steem issues get in the way tho).

Besides being a rich model brat, Chloe hates abuse/abusive people, mostly because Gabriel’s neglect counts as it (and she is happy to remind him that very often) and because she has seen first hand how the way Audrey treated (and keeps treating) Adrien has affected him. So she is a little shit sometimes but when it comes to it she is the first to point out an injustice.

When she agreed to go to school to get Adrien to shut up, she didn't though it was going to be so difficult. For once, her father had completely shut her up and told her she was being ridiculous. No daughter of him was going to attend a public school.

Well guess what daddy boo, I don't give a s***.

Black Cat

Her meeting with Fu happens almost like Adrien's in canon, but this time she is upset Natalie and Gorilla (who were closer, didn't help the old man) she gave up the school that day to help him. Sighing and looking at the school and whispering 'I'm sorry, Adrien' that only Fu heard.

Chloe received the cat miraculous (master Fu would learn to regret this decision but who just gives the power of destruction to a girl he just met?) Chloe learns tho, and becomes a good hero.

Chloe doesn't fall for Ladybug. (but she still gushes about her with Adrien when they hang out.) She probably develops a little crush but won’t do anything about it.

At the beginning she was annoyed by Ladybug’s lack of confidence but later, after being proven wrong, she starts respecting her.

Ladybug/Kitty Noir interactions are a bit weird. They come up with plans together and comunicate more, mostly because Chloe won't let anyone tell her what to do (which was a problem at the beginning) if she doesn't add to the plan.

Ladybug thinks Kitty Noir is an amazing hero and wants her civil identity to be more like her. They still fight a lot but they also have nice moments.

When Chloe finally gets to school Marinette is already friends with Adrien, and notices him slowly developing a crush on her. Chloe, of course, doesn't like it. And makes it her personal duty to get those two as far from eachother as she can. 

She is a bit mean to Marinette, but not in the canon way. She just wants to protect her friend. 

After a while she realizes Marinette is not that bad (probably after bonding over outing Lila) and lets her be. However she is NOT going to help that relationship to develop. 

She makes 'friends' with Sabrina and is constantly making her stand for herself and respect herself more. She helps the ginger a lot but if you ask her, she'll deny it.

Eventual Chlobrina

Lila gets rekt by Chloe and Marinette (they bond over making her life miserable). While Adrien facepalms in the background with Sabrina.)

Since Adrien wasn't a hero when Lila appears he believes her about the Volpina thing until Kitty Noir comes in and demands for her to transform.

Bee

The Bee miraculous wasn't given on accident this time. Ladybug doesn't lose it.

While Chloe is a golden statue he goes straight to the figure of leadership she trust the most.

Adrien has showed this skill not only in his fencing club but also helping her on her class president duties. When she asked why he didn't try it himself he confessed he was in no way capable of doing something like that and was also too shy. Marinette frowned at that but let it be. They where doing wonders together.

So Ladybug goes straight to find Adrien, who was really upset about his mother making his friend a gold statue! Chloe was never going to forgive him!

He accepts the miraculous and helps ladybug save the day.

Ladybug asking for his help on ocassions really helps him. He gets more confident and talks more. He never had trouble leading when it was necessary but now it really shows who his father is.

Kitty Noir dislikes Bee!Adrien because he tends to try and 'control' the situation and the only one who she'll listen to is Ladybug.

Adrien soon learned to do subtle 'suggestions' to Kitty Noir instead of actually telling her what to do.

They start to get along better after they both came out with a plan and succeed without the help of ladybug or lucky charm.

They look at eachother in surprise while ladybug purifies the akuma and yell WE DID IT and proceed to hi five and jump around celebrating like idiots.

Ladybug shakes her head.

Marinette falls for Bee!Adrien, who is kind, smart, confident and isn't afraid to talk and defend his point of view. She isn’t sure about dating because of her duty as a superhero.

She tries to help Adrien realized he is the same confident boy behind the mask. She is slowly making progress.

. Based on a discord combo with @littlespaceboii as all my au’s are. Aparently, you’re my muse Bobby *shrugs*

[brotundsalz]

Call Me by Your Name: Is it better to speak or to die?

Original text by Hristiana Hinova

Illustration: elysieeh

A ten-minute ovation follows the film’s screening at Sundance. Director Luca Guadagnino opens Twitter and reads about people jumping and dancing on the streets after having seen his film. It is one of those rarely made films which produce an incredible sense of euphoria that lasts for months to come. Last year that place was held by American Honey. Both films are a spectacle for the senses—gentle monsters whose visuals are electrifying and the feeling they leave behind is truly truer than the truth we witness every day. Call Me by Your Name is a film about Love, the kind that turns life into an event, and emitting such an emotional charge life itself becomes an event. 

The 24-year-old American student Oliver is completing an internship at professor Perlman’s (his Jewish-American archeology professor with French and Italian roots; played by Michael Schulber, whose Oscar nomination hopefully becomes a fact soon) villa in the north of Italy. The atmosphere of the house is idyllic. The Perlmans are a dream family—highly educated, beautiful people who speak freely about philosophy, history and linguistics and kiss and hug whenever they pass each other on the corridors of the house. Elio, the professor’s son (an impressive debut starring Timothée Chalamet) is a 17-year-old spiritual and talented boy; he spends his days studying classical music, reading books, cycling and going out to bars in the evenings. 

Call Me by Your Name starts straight off with the conflicting event: Oliver's arrival. Oliver is an imposingly handsome and confident guy; the ancient Greeks have a word for it—kalokagathia: a Platonic ideal consisting of the harmonious combination of bodily, moral and spiritual virtues. During the first few minutes of the film, he is the object of adoration by every one of the characters (apart from the Perlmans, there are also minor characters, the most prominent of who is Elio's girlfriend, the French Marcia, played by Esther Garrel).

What happens next is magic: Elio's love for Oliver goes through several recognisable stages, which are translated on screen with a masterful ease of the camera: it glides among the characters effortlessly, like a puff of wind. (Behind the camera was Thai Sayombhu Mukdeeprom, who has also worked with Apichatpong Weerasethakul on the dreamy, mysterious and visually perfect Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives, awarded with the Golden Palm at the 2010 Cannes Film Festival.) Director Luca Guadagnino had the following to say in this regard: "We had a Buddhist behind the lens. And you can see it in every frame." 

In order to convey my thoughts in a more organised way, I will divide the text into 5 parts. These 5 parts correspond to the 5 states of mind the main character Elio goes through during the 3 weeks in which the love between him and Oliver develops. This is an attempt to decode the power of the film, which I believe is rooted in the absolutely brilliant journey through the universal emotions of love. Call Me by Your Name wonderfully visualises the inner world of a person in love and the most elated, most intense states of mind that his enchanted soul can go through. I will include a few quotes from Roland Barthes’ A Lover's Discourse: Fragments which to me is the most poetic and refined translation of the love emotion into words. Not to show off but to present you the pleasure that is Barthes’ work. This film is the same kind of translation, slightly more accessible—but no less subtle and emotional.

For at least a year I hadn’t seen a love story that could move me so much with its genuineness. One of the best qualities of the film is its script: it lacks an antagonist and a conflict. According to textbooks, this is not how you write a script. It is risky—some might say even wrong. Since it doesn’t have the stereotypical Romeo and Julietesque problem where an external force interferes with the love of the two, nor is there a serious hesitation in some of the characters. Nobody dies. Nobody is less fortunate than the other, no one is whiter or darker than the other. We witness two people fall in love and thus create paradise, and—trust me—this is one of the most exciting stories to tell.

Desire This is the third and final instalment in Luca Guadagnino's thematic "Desire Trilogy”. The previous two being I Am Love (2009) and A Bigger Splash (2015). According to the director, the first one is a tragedy, the second—a farce, and the third one—a dream. While in both previous films there is some tragicomic element which works as a warning following the desire, Call Me by Your Name does not have one. Here, loving does not lead to anything bad. The pain after the loss is not harmful.

The film starts off with a half-naked Elio who must quickly vacate his room for it is to be occupied by the guest Oliver. Elio’s house is a spacious and cozy one (with doors open all the time and delicious meals being prepared in the kitchen); whichever room you enter, it is full with books you can read under the huge windows that let in the generous afternoon sun. Everyday life is a wasteful delight. The viewer sees this and sinks into his seat light-headed, dreaming of a similar life. Call Me by Your Name manages to strike a chord in us that is rarely touched; the melancholy for a paradise not yet lived, one ripen by the caress of the graceful nature, kissed by the sky, hidden from the dusty, sore city eye.

The sexual desire is not stated immediately. The scene in which Elio and Oliver meet for the first time, for example, is filmed in a rather unconventional way for this type of narrative. Typically, love at first sight is alluded at by showing the reaction of the main character, the one who is to fall in love first, in a medium shot or a close-up. Here, however, the scene is as follows: through a half-open door Elio and Oliver shake hands. Elio is showing us his back. On Oliver’s face we can read a polite smile tired from the long ride. BAM! Nothing special. No escalating music, nor an entertaining frame. Simple.

There is a reason for this. The story is based on a novel (written by André Aciman and adapted by James Avery). The novel is told in the first person, from Elio’s perspective. Therefore, by default, this is a story that comes from the inner world of the main character, ie. we would expect less eventful and more reflective storytelling. The director wanted to keep it as is in the book and translate it on screen. Hence, Elio’s ’slow’ falling in love (expressed at a later stage in the film with the regretful words: "We wasted so much time"). The ‘slow’ in question is really nothing more than a developing character, a man who grows before the eyes of the viewer, a man who loves and is loved for the first time.

Elio’s desire for Oliver is shown with his long glances directed at Oliver from the distance: Elio watches from his widow how the object of his desire walks, goes for a bike ride, dances, hugs and kisses a woman. Elio experiences a moment of frustration: on the one hand, he knows what is going on inside him, but his body doesn’t know how to react. The boy seems to be overcome by a fever. This is why when Oliver touches him for the first time to massage his shoulder, Elio pulls himself to the side confused. Desire causes ambivalence: often, instead of pulling us towards the object of our desire, it pushes us away from it; and this reaction is a defence mechanism: “Do not enter the beast’s mouth, because there is no way out.”

Elio falls in love with Oliver also through the eyes of others. He knows that this is a man who his father, the professor, likes and respects. This is also a body that others talk about; watching him play volleyball, the girls whisper to one another that he is “more handsome than the guy from last year.” This is what Roland Barthes has to say on the subject: 

The body which will be loved is in advance selected and manipulated by the lens, subjected to a kind of zoom effect which magnifies it, brings it closer, and leads the subject to press his nose to the glass: is it not the scintillating object which a skilful hand causes to shimmer before me and will hypnotise me, capture me? This “affective contagion,” this induction, proceeds from others, from the language, from books, from friends: no love is original. (Mass culture is a machine for showing desire: here is what must interest you, it says, as if it guessed that men are incapable of finding what to desire by themselves.) The difficulty of the amorous project is in this: “Just show me whom to desire, but then get out of the way!”

Anxiety When we cannot own something, we become obsessed with a fragment of it. After Elio becomes aware that he is in love with Oliver, he starts missing him. Oliver grabs his bike and disappears for a whole day. Elio is alone in the house. He goes back to his room and examines the beast’s dwelling. This is his very room, but changed forever—soaked in the presence of the one who is absent now. There are one or two marvellous shots where the camera focuses on Oliver’s swimming shorts hanging from the faucets in the bathroom. Elio grabs a pair of them, lies down on his bed and thrusts his head inside. This is the only thing he can possess. Just a fragment, and it isn’t even from Oliver’s real body. It upsets and scares him, but at the same time brings him incomparable pleasure. When else is pleasure confusing? Love is maddening: it tears you away from your own self and hands you over into the possession of something abstract like a Thought, Scent or Idea. Elio is lost in the labyrinth of the Other. And for the first time we can hear Sufjan Stevens’ amazing music in a moment of culminating anxiety. It is an exceptional scene: Elio’s face is blurred and it seems as though a film reel is passing through it. Elio is not a part of his own life—he is a projection of the collective, centuries old face of the One in Love: the one who has fallen victim to a spell. 

The following scene: Elio is together with his parents and the three of them are sitting on a couch. He is resting his head on his mother’s lap. She is reading to them the story of a princess and a knight from some French romance; the knight is so much in love with the princess that he doesn’t know what to do about it. The horror that he experiences in regard to his feelings escalates in the lines: “Is it better to speak or to die?” This startles Elio, who realises that his choice is indeed ultimate. The scene represents a key dramatic situation. The one in love is faced with a moat: on the one side stands he himself, like a boy, bent with a frightened look over the abyss, on the other side stands a tall, noble man. Can he overcome the moat?

Heroism According to Joseph Campbell, in every story with a prominent protagonist there is a moment of initiation, i.e. the moment in which the boy takes on a challenge and thus embarks on a path towards maturity. For Harry Potter, for example, this is his departure to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In our Bulgarian folklore, on the other hand, the hero kills the three-headed snake which usually brings him great fame and the love of the greatest beauty. 

What does Elio do to become a man?

Elio decides to speak. In spite of all the horror this action brings – putting yourself in a weak position, risking being misunderstood and humiliated, Elio exhibits courage and decides to confess. Courage, because confession is self-assertion and this is one of the manliest things to do: “I am here and this is how I feel. How about you?" As all the readers probably know, telling someone that you love them without knowing how they will respond to your feelings is a hard and painful thing to do. It can cost a lot of nerves, especially if one was brought up in the spirit of high classical values.

And Elio speaks. God, how good this scene is. I may even like it more than the last 10 minutes of the film. The scene is brilliantly conceived and filmed: Elio and Oliver are walking on the opposite sides of a monument commemorating the victims of the First World War. They are talking about history and Oliver is surprised by Elio’s vast knowledge. Then Elio, having gathered up the courage, says that he knows nothing. At least not about the things that matter. “What things that matter?” demands Oliver. “You know what things,” replies Elio after a thoughtful pause. He tells him everything by not telling him anything. Between them lies history – the stone monument, a symbol of suffering and heroism – and inside of them rages an equally important event: the Conversation.

Unity The fourth part of Call Me by Your Name shows the real relationship of the two after love has been established as a fact. It feels the longest. And this is how it is supposed to be, bearing in mind that this is a romantic film that is not specified by the genre restriction of either comedy or drama. The title of the film refers to exactly this part. Call me by your name are the words which Oliver gifts Elio and which actually carry all the charge of their relationship: true merging is when you don't differentiate yourself from the other, being so much in love that you’re sinking into the other. This is the moment of culmination: you are one with your Desire and your Desire is one with you. There is no conflict nor drama. The world is just a prolonged touch. Everything is simple and the pleasure is inexhaustible. A quote from A Lover's Discourse: Fragments:

Definition of the total union: that is “the one and only pleasure” (according to Aristotle), “joy without blemish and without impurity, the perfection of dreams, the limit of all hopes” (Ibn Hazm), “the divine splendor” (Novalis), this is: the inseparable peace. (…)

Dream of total union: everyone says this dream is impossible, and yet it persists. I do not abandon it. "On the Athenian steles, instead of the heroicization of death, scenes of farewell in which one of the spouses takes leave of the other, hand in hand, at the end of a contract which only a third force can break, thus it is mourning which achieves its expression here . . . I am no longer myself without you." It is in represented mourning that we find the proof of my dream; I can believe in it, since it is mortal (the only impossible thing is immortality). SYMPOSIUM: Quotation from the Iliad, Book X.FRANÇOIS WAHL: "Chute.”

Conclusion The fifth and last part, the one when Oliver leaves, has an almost instructive function. The father has the role of a sage, a teacher (figuratively and literally). He is supposed to evaluate the situation and interpret its meaning. He is the one who has studied art and the human nature throughout the centuries, the way in which humanity asserts itself. And yet, he is the man who admits that he has never been so close to the perfection of human relationships as his 17-year-old son has. The father’s revelation is striking: in the absence of love, one wears out. In the absence of courage to love, one withers away. Once again, this brilliant monologue deserves an Oscar nomination.

There are films that are magical. Do not doubt that Call Me by Your Name is one of them. And to put out the swollen pathos, I will tell you that the peach scene has been tested (in real life) both by Luca and by Timothée Chalamet. Seems like one can have fun in the most unexpected places!

[johnnymundano]

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich (2018)

Directed by Sonny Laguna and Tommy Wiklund

Screenplay by S. Craig Zahler

Music by Fabio Frizzi

Country: United States

Running time: 90 minutes

CAST

Thomas Lennon as Edgar Easton

Jenny Pellicer as Ashley Summers

Nelson Franklin as Markowitz

Charlyne Yi as Nerissa

Michael Pare as Detective Brown

Alex Beh as Howie

Matthias Hues as Strommelson

Skeeta Jenkins as Cuddly Bear

Barbara Crampton as Carol Doreski

Udo Kier as André Toulon

Serafin Falcon as Richard

Kennedy Summers as Goldie

David Burkhart as Brian

All images taken from IMDB.

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich is ostensibly an attempt to reboot the wholly terrible, yet unarguably endearing Puppet Master franchise. Mostly though it is concerned with getting a rise out of the audience. It’s kind of the cinematic equivalent of a teenager repeatedly saying “fuck” at the Christmas dinner table and sculpting a cock and balls out of some sprouts and a carrot on grandma’s plate when she slips into a senile doze. Yet, since Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich never once pretends to be Schindler’s List, but is instead about a bunch of homicidal Nazi puppets killing the “un-Aryan” and “mongrel races”  in a series of outrageously unpleasant ways, this brusquely adolescent approach works, I admit, pretty well.

It would have worked a whole lot better if the script and direction had been a bit tighter, but I guess that might be asking a bit much from a movie about homicidal Nazi puppets. Also, the script is by S. Craig Zahler, whose star is currently somewhat in the ascendant. His earlier weird Western movie Bone Tomahawk (2015) was itself impressive despite some infelicities in the script (Oh, c’mon, the guy with the wounded leg does all that? Really Seriously? No, give over). I’ve not seen his last two as they sound hilariously butch; obviously I will see them as I enjoy hilariously butch movies but, y’know, it’s not a priority. I guess what I’m saying is I hope their scripts are substantially less slack than the two S. Craig Zahler scripts I have sat through, highly enjoyable hokum though they both were. After all no one wants to suggest the “S” in S Craig Zahler stands for “Sloppy”. The less buzzworthy pairing of Laguna and Wiklund direct with a lack of clarity in the action scenes and a lack of interest in the inaction scenes, but it’ll do. Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich’s multiple rough edges could even (maybe?) be taken as a further loving call-back to the ‘80s schlock it so dearly yearns to ape.

Such technical folderol barely matters though as Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich can weather a little sloppiness since it is genuinely pretty funny, and heroically eye rollingly grotesque. I’m not proud; that kind of thang buys a lot of goodwill chez Mundano. Also, it’s clearly anti-Nazi so that’s good, because I’m all about being anti-Nazi. Other than the overall and pervasive (and correctly so) anti-Nazi business Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich takes very little seriously. It even starts like a joke when…”A Nazi walks into a bar…” This particular Nazi is an aged Andre Toulon (cinema legend Udo kier) and the bar is in Texas in the 1980s. Upset when the barmaid rebuffs his creepy and, frankly, rather vulgar advances, Toulon is incandescent with rage to learn she is a lesbian and later sets his puppets on her and her lover. (The puppets? It’s a long story; they tell it, don’t worry.) The police follow a series of tiny footprints from the crime scene and Toulon is shot dead by the police. Following this muddled and poorly paced opening, we fast forward to 2018 and find freshly divorced man-child, comic book store employee and comic creator Edgar Easton (a deadpan Thomas Lennon) moving back into his parents’ home. Apparently his brother died years ago in a  horrific accident (this might be  a reference to an earlier Puppet Master opus; I don’t care) so Edgar decides to auction off his brother’s disquieting Toulon “Blade” (no, not Wesley Snipes) puppet at a conveniently imminent and conveniently nearby Toulon convention.

In the least believable event in a movie replete with unbelievable events, Edgar, the newly divorced man-child, comic book shop employee who has just moved back in with his parents, immediately cops off with his hot neighbour. And yes, that is less likely than an undead Nazi controlling an army of puppets from within his tomb, which is just next to his house in defiance of all zoning laws known to man. Anyway, Edgar and Ashley set off for the convention along with Edgar’s  irascible schmuck of a boss Markowitz (a movie stealing Nelson Franklin). What with their hotel being full of convention guests, most of whom have brought a Toulon puppet to sell, it is to be fervently hoped an undead Nazi doesn’t take control of the army of puppets from within his tomb which is just next to his house in defiance of all zoning laws known to man. Oy vey, I should cocoa!

There then follows a series of inventively gross death scenes as the Nazi controlled puppets lay siege to the guests within the hotel cum killing ground. It would be pretty poor show to spoil any of these kills as they are the meat of the meal here, but I did at least twice wonder how they had got away with what I had just witnessed. So, y’know, maybe not a date movie? Certainly not a movie for people hot on plot. Or even characterisation; although the bulk of the characters are well done, that’s largely down to the performances. Thomas Lennon is drily amusing as the lead and Jenny Pellicer as Ashley, the neighbour with unfeasible taste in men, is better than her underwritten role deserves. Nelson Franklin pretty much makes the movie his with a hilarious performance as a strangely vulnerable bundle of offensiveness. If people wrote theses about Puppet Master movies one might be written about how his vulnerability and offensiveness embody the movie in microcosm. But a world in which people penned theses about Puppet Master movies would be a pretty dumb one, so scratch that thought. Everyone else portrays quirky cannon fodder, and while some are, uh, substantially less than good at the whole “acting” thing, luckily they are the ones who get dispatched fastest. The best ones are the ones you wish would make it. Like Cuddly Bear, a ridiculously entertaining turn by Skeeta Jenkins, and Charlyn Yi as Nerissa, an anime lover who you will dearly wish had better eyesight. And of course there must be a special mention for Genre Legend Barbara Crampton, who here displays her knack for comedy as the lightly disdainful ex-cop cum Toulon Tour guide.

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich is a movie built around scenes of ridiculously unpleasant gore, and they are ridiculously unpleasant indeed, so it scores highly there. It’s also heavily reliant on offensive humour but it’s really more amusing than it is offensive. I certainly laughed a lot, but y’know, I’m nearly 50 and I’m watching a movie called Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich entirely of my own volition. So bear that in mind at all times. The best joke might not even have been intentional, because in Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich after the fall of The Third Reich the world is so full of the kinds of people the Nazis tried to eradicate that it’s like the Nazis never existed. For all its Sturm und Drang, for all its Edginess, for all its attempts to play the Bad Boy card, Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich laughs longest and hardest at the Nazis. Because, as any fule kno, that’s all the Nazis are worth. Unlike the Nazis, Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich, however, is worth your time even if only for the scene involving an irate Nelson Franklin, a certain “Baby Hitler” and an oven. Shalom, motherfuckers! Shaaaaloooooooom!