#update: i won ! they leaked !

[kathegoose]

go my mspaint

���⠀⠀bear..

cooked for the nation!

[heymeowmao]

2022.11.12 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324835300236198380

Finished up filming in the morning, came home to wait for the night scenes... I’ll just stream for a small bit~

LYN: Good afternoon, everyone. Bet you didn’t think that I would come in the afternoon, huh? It’s just been too long since I streamed last, so I had to do one in the afternoon. LYN: Yes, I’m wearing the in-ear today. You seem to find it quite new, that I’m wearing the in-ear instead of using headphones. It’s because there may be some stage performances coming up, so I have to get used to wearing it. I haven’t really been respecting my profession. As a singer, it’s already been about a year without having done a performance. I’ve already forgotten what it feels like to be on stage. So I have to wear the in-ear even what I’m at home to find that feeling again.

C: You look a little water swollen. LYN: Yes. You’re already so familiar with my face that you can’t possibly be any MORE familiar with it. Because a lot of you like to post up my unedited pictures. There are so many that you all have a keen understanding of my five senses- my eyes/nose/mouth and everything. I’m only just the slightest bit swollen AND I have the beauty filter on, and you can still tell. How much must you understand me? I really have to thank the people posting these pictures... so that you can know me so well.  LYN: I woke up a little early today- the crew wanted me in to hair/makeup at 5a. Why? Because I heard that there’s a marathon in Hengdian today and the roads would be closed, so if I went any later I probably would not have been able to make it in. If I wanted to get into hair/makeup by 5a, I had to get up at 4a- so I didn’t really sleep. You know what happened? I just got to the dressing room and they announced that the marathon was cancelled. Absolutely dumbfounding. I got up early for nothing. The roads weren’t closed either. They were afraid that I wouldn’t be able to make it in the morning, so they arranged to have me in by 5am. But the marathon ended up being cancelled, so what could I do? I went to the filming site and did my scene. I only had one (1) day scene, and the rest are all night scenes, so after the day scene was finished they told me to come back and sleep. Instead of coming home to sleep I decided to stream, since it’s been a long time. When night falls I’ll go back to work. I guess this counts as having gotten off work already, then. I woke up early, so my face is a bit swollen. Be generous. You’ve seen so many of my “ugly” pictures, I’m sure this is nothing. LYN: Right- I’m on the night shift today.

- it’s been so long since he’s done a stream that some talented fans are taking it upon themselves to record songs to get him to come (to the tune of Wujiapo: “My ge, Liu Yuning~ I’ve cried 18 days waiting for you~” LYN: You’re starting to sing, now. Did you think I could watch that and still not stream? I saw that video, I did. So that’s why... I know all the bad things you do. 

C: Have you eaten? LYN: No- Oh. I ate breakfast. I had some tofu pudding and some bread. I’m full now.

C: Ning-ge, you’re wearing eyeliner now? LYN: What do you mean? My eyes are small, and I can’t even wear eyeliner? I need to “find” a good proportion for me eyes. Also, it’s not like I have nothing better to do than to draw some eyeliner and then come here to stream for you. I have filming today- I even came in here in my wig, as you can see. I’m taking a break right now and so I’m still in makeup- you can’t see, because the beauty filter is on a little high, but I even have some some “death” colored eyeshadow. Not only do I have eyeliner, but I ALSO have shadow.

LYN: My throat hurts. :(

C: Ge, what do you have the wig on for? LYN: I’m cosplaying. Later I’m going to get in the car to go attend ComicCon. LYN: What am I doing with the wig on? I have filming to do! // I’m in a drama crew and I have filming to do. I’m not crazy, just spending wearing a wig at home for no reason. I mean, it’s not like I can’t put on some eyeliner and laze around the house- but I’m just not the type of person who would do that.

C: Where’s Daimi? LYN: She was sent to the groomer’s. She’s gotten too dirty.

C: Ning-ge, are you going to stream until nighttime? LYN: That’s too much. It’s about noon now so when it hits late afternoon I’ll probably go take a nap. I’ll nap and then go to work at night. Otherwise I don’t think I would be very alert. Let’s not stream until nightfall.

- was invited to an event but won’t go bc his filming schedule is pretty tight

C: If you take a nap in the afternoon are you not afraid to mess up the wig? LYN: There’s such a thing in this world called a comb. There’s another thing called hair spray/gel. Also a flat iron/hair straightener. If it gets messy all I have to do is comb it...

C: Ning-ge, why are you always on the night shift? LYN: I’m not really, because with filming a drama there’s no such thing as day/night. It just happens that “day” scenes need to be filmed during the day and “night” scenes at night. That’s just how the story develops. I don’t just do night scenes... I do them all. C: How much longer do you have to go? LYN: I think I’m about halfway through. I’m not really clear on how many scenes exactly.

C: When is BYOL airing? LYN: I don’t know. I only had around 200 or so scenes there. It’s not much- I only went to experience what it was like to shoot a modern drama, which was nice. It was my first time doing a modern drama, so I’m happy. It’s an extremely unforgettable experience for me. I really don’t know when it will air, though. With a lot of people nowadays, even though you acted in it, you really don’t have any clue when the drama will air. If I had to make a prediction- because we were chatting about this the other day- BYOL wants to air on tv and online. The thing about having something air on the television is that they need to first discuss with the broadcast company and also make sure that the airing schedule will fit. I’m guessing it would air by next year, though.

C: What about ALZ? LYN: ALZ- someone asks about it every time. I really don’t know when it will air. But if I had to make a guess... /long silence/ Why do I feel like a media/gossip account? C: Have you done the voice acting for it yet? LYN: See, I haven’t even done the voice acting for it. You tell me when you think it will air. So I don’t know when it will air, and you all can stop asking me. I haven’t even done the voice acting yet. LYN: Let’s just sit and wait. For those who like and are anticipating this drama, just know that it will air eventually. It’s already been filmed, after all. The production company’s money has already all gone into it- it’s going to have to air eventually. As viewers, what we have to focus on is our health. Alright? Let’s be healthy and exercise a little every day. Eat on time and sleep on time. Work well, live well. So that we can still be alive to see the day the drama airs. Let’s not worry when that will be, and just live our lives until that time comes. LYN: Of course, I will take this time to wish that whoever is watching my stream right now lives as long as the (Zhong)Nan Mountains. (寿比南山). And I hope the females in my stream right now can be as thin as they want. As thin as the (Zhong)Nan Mountains. (瘦比南山) *[寿(life) and 瘦(thin/skinny) are both pronounced “shòu”]

--- LYN’s All-Black Outfit, Long Legs

C: You went to Chengdu and bought a lot of clothes? LYN: Yes, I went to Chengdu and bought a fair amount of clothing. It’s rare to get out (shopping) so I bought some clothes so that I could wear them during my streams or for some event. But I don’t really have any events right now. I have nothing to do, how sad.

C: Ning-ge, you went to Chengdu and everyone saw your nice long legs~ LYN: They’re not nice and long. It’s just that I’m tall. I’m 189cm- so my legs... even if you call them short, they’re only short to a certain extent. It’s just that I’m tall. People even doubt my height- they think that I am only 178cm or so. I’ve seen comments like that, and I don’t really care. Because 189cm, so why should I care if someone thinks that I am a few to ten cm shorter than I am? It doesn’t matter.

LYN: That video you saw was, when I was leaving the shop I already saw someone brandishing their phone and knew they were trying to record me, so I ducked. With these types of stores usually the men’s clothing is on the second floor- so as I was coming down the stairs I looked towards the doors and saw them getting ready. I’ve seen all sorts of articles- that there are always people around Chengdu and Beijing, ready to record people. I saw them there and I was thinking I didn’t want to get caught. I tried my best not to get caught, because I might not necessarily want to work with this brand in the future. XD For example, if in the future Gucci or LV or Valentino want to collab with me, but then see this photo of me coming out of this particular brand’s shop, would that negatively impact their decision to work with me? I was considering that when I didn’t want anyone to catch me coming out of that store. I didn’t want it to affect my market value. So I saw them, and I thought I would try to avoid them, just a little. It didn’t help at all, but at least the sentiment was there. In the end I still couldn’t avoid it.

C: Ning-ge, your way of thinking is really comprehensive. LYN: I was just joking! How could I be thinking comprehensively? I was just thinking, “Don’t film me.” I just don’t really have a personal life anymore, right now. I have no life. It was rare for me to be able to shop around, and I still got caught on camera. I didn’t want to get caught but... there was just no avoiding it.

LYN: But the thing is inwardly, my thoughts were abundant. I didn’t want to get caught on camera because I was wearing an ugly outfit! /laughs at himself/ If I were wearing something more fashionable I probably wouldn’t have tried to avoid it so much. Well- it’s not that it was ugly. Earlier that morning I had shot another scene in Chengdu- it was the clothes that were arranged for me to attend a funeral. To respect the departed you wear black, right? So I had a black suit jacket, black top, black pants, and black shoes. But after the scene was over I just took the jacket off and went out. At that time I thought I was a little like a fool/moron (精神小伙). If you wore a suit out for a particular occasion, that’d be alright. But who goes out shopping in black top and pants? I felt like a fool... or like someone who just walked out from their job at a hair salon. That’s what I felt, so I didn’t want anyone to catch me on camera. Everyone else gets caught fashionably, but my outfit that day wasn’t very fashion. LYN: Honestly, it was just a black top and pants. But it felt very businesslike. Like some salaryman who would try to sell you insurance or a mobile phone. The outfit was too much like a uniform. But if we want to make it sound nice, we could say I was going for the “All Black” look.

---

C: You looked cool/handsome! LYN: Thank you. // Here’s the thing though, if you’re a fan of someone you’re going to think that your idol looks cool no matter what they do. They’ll be unparalleled, the best, coolest guy, with the best body, right? The most handsome, with fair skin~ Everyone thinks that (of their idol) but the thing is there is a difference in aesthetics in this world. There are people who think I’m ugly, and that’s very normal. But all my fans think I’m handsome. That’s the difference in aesthetics talking, and that’s why you were able to become my fans.

C: I’m not your fan, and I still think you’re handsome! LYN: These words leave me torn between laughing and crying. Laughing because you have acknowledged my visuals. You think I’m handsome. But crying because you’re not my fan- so I hope that one day you can actually become one. Now that you’ve come across me and are here, let’s not miss this opportunity- why don’t you buy 2kg? Like if you’re in the market and you see the potatoes and think, “Hey, these potatoes are pretty handsome”, so you stop to buy 2kg. When you get home, you’re not sure if you’re going to eat them or not, but you can still put them in your fridge.

C: My grandmother says you’re handsome. LYN: Thank you, grandmother. Thank you. I’m sure that when you were young, you were also very pretty. Really. LYN: Friends, it’s like this- there’s a line of reasoning that implies that whatever you lack in yourself in what you highlight in others. I’m sure there’s logic to this. For example, if someone has a lot of money they won’t look down on the people around them for not having any. Do you think the guy who has millions will laugh at a guy who makes thousands and call him poor? He wouldn’t, really. The more someone lacks in themselves is what they will highlight in others. [t/n: this is.. the beauty we see in others is what we lack in ourselves???] LYN: I believe that those who bring others up are wonderful people... and amazing people. LYN: Thank you for complimenting me.

- says that it’s rare for him to stream in the afternoon, so if you were able to catch and are watching his stream now, that means it was fate & to please subscribe to his weibo~ LYN: Today is Sunday, too. If it were Monday or Tuesday I probably wouldn’t have come to stream but Saturday/Sundays are okay. Because everyone is usually working during the weekday but on the weekends most people have the day off. I figured if I streamed at this time, you would have a better chance to catch the stream. C: I can’t even catch the streams at night. LYN: You slept too early. It’s good, though.

LYN: This drama doesn’t really leave me with a lot of time to sleep. I’m not getting enough sleep, but I’m happy because I like it when I am able to be busy. I’m really afraid of not having any work to do. I’m afraid of sitting at home picking at my feet. So I’m very happy to be able to have work to keep me busy, even if that means I will be a little tired. For the current drama, I do have quite a bit more scenes to shoot so... that means I am all the more tired for it. C: But that’s what you like? LYN: Yes! 

--- LYN: This question was a bit like an interview. Like... /puts on a sound effect/:

“MC”: LYN, hello. There is a friend here who asks, “You don’t have time to go play or relax, so is this the type of life you want?” LYN: Ah, what good question. Work is keeping me busy nowadays, and is it the life I wanted? I think the answer is “yes”. This is what I want. Because ever since I was little it’s been my dream to be a celebrity. I debuted when I was almost 30 years old- and all the years I spent before then were spent playing around. I was finally able to debut at thirty. I made it. Wouldn’t you say that this is what I wanted? It must be. It’s wonderful. It’s like I’ve won the lottery. LYN: I’m a very normal person. I grew up in a third-tier city- a small boy from a small city called Liaoning, Dandong. For me to be able to get to where I am today- with so many people who recognize me- and to participate in things I only dreamed of like acting and singing and standing on a stage, is my great honor. I also have so many fans who are always supporting me. All of this is exactly what I wanted, yes. What else is there? LYN: This is like someone who has won 5mil in the lottery, and they spend the money every day. Someone comes up and asks them if having this lavish life is how they wanted to spend the rest of their days. How do you think they would answer? “Is the life you’re living after you’ve won the lottery the life you want?” It must be. I’d like to thank this friend for their question.

“MC”: A friend here is asking, “LYN, have you confirmed your next drama or not?” They seem to care a lot about your career development. Have you confirmed your next drama yet? LYN: This friend really cares about me. Thanks for your concern. Now as to whether I have confirmed my next drama or not- what’s business is it of yours? Don’t ask around! You’ll know when it’s officially announced, won’t you? So don’t ask. C: Ning-ge, if you don’t reply then that means you already have one confirmed. LYN: No. Nothing’s not confirmed yet. If it were, I would have already shared it with you. You all know me- you know how I communicate with my fans, too. If something good has happened to me, there’s no way I can hide it from you. I have to spill the beans. So if I confirm something I would share it with you. Nothing’s confirmed yet. And what I mean by that is- as long as I haven’t signed the contract yet, nothing is set. I’ll wait until the contract is signed. Because before I would share good things with you before I signed the contract and then those jobs ended up falling through. I used to tell you about these things, like I would tell you I would be on a variety show and describe it to you a little, but in the end those jobs fell through. It was a disgrace. Then the fans would come back to me, asking “Didn’t you say you were going to participate in a variety show? What happened to it?” and I tell them it’s not convenient for me to answer. It’s really difficult to answer- because I had already told them that I would be doing a variety show, and around what time I expected to be there but they end up not seeing me. So people start speculating, that LYN was switched out with someone else. That LYN wasn’t good enough, so he was switched out. I don’t want to affect my market value, so I won’t say anything now. I’ll let you know when everything is confirmed.

C: Give your stage-fans some benefits this year. LYN: Wow, there are so many people who like me, but who are all separated into different species, is that it? I have visual-fans, song-fans, stage-fans, walking-fans... As for stage-fans, it’s because I’ve been stuck with the drama crew most of the time. There have been stages that have come to inquire about my availability, but there’s also the fact that it’s a bit complicated to get around these days. It’s difficult to make it back (to Hengdian). I don’t want to push the whole drama schedule because I went out once (and got sick). That’s why I’m trying not to go out if I can help it. Even with branding events, I try to have them done in Hengdian. I’m sure I will do a few stage performances, though. Since it IS the end of the year.

C: What about the New Year? LYN: Of course, I always go to New Year’s events. I know I’m always acting now, but I still don’t have any works to show for it. It’s a point of contention for everyone: “Why Liu Yuning? He doesn’t even have anything to show. Why does he deserve it?” So even though I’m acting, I’m still a singer! It’s not like I’ve left the (music) industry. I have to hold up my profession as a singer, so I will definitely do some stage performances. It happens every year, so when that time comes we’ll spend another new year together. C: Ning-ge, which broadcast stations will you be at? LYN: It’ll be announced later. Why would I reveal it myself. Then I’d lose out on the air of mystery. I already sit here for hours chatting my mouth off that I don’t have any more mystery to me- can’t I keep this one thing a secret?? You’ll find out later. The other way to look at it is, you’ll watch whatever station I end up on, won’t you? It’s not like you’ll find out which stations I will be at and purposely not watch, right? There’s no way. It’s the New Year, what did I do to deserve that? I believe that even if you’re one of my anti-fans- the ones who like to make their own trends and try to start trouble- you’ll be watching me at the New Year. I don’t believe they’ll find out what stations I’ll be at and purposely not watch those channels. I’m sure they’ll watch for me. C: They’re looking for things to hate on you for. LYN: That- They’re just.... What else can there be, on a stage? One- I look ugly. Two - I don’t sing well. I’m not afraid of people finding points of the performance to pick on me for, I’m just afraid that the performance will turn out to be something you have NOTHING to talk about. That means your stage is unmemorable. That’s the most regrettable thing. Even if my hair were ugly- so ugly it knows no bounds, so ugly it “explodes”- then that at least means I can make it into the trending topics. The worst thing is having nothing. LYN: Let’s say for example, on the day-of “Liu Yuning’s In-Ear Suddenly Explodes”- I’m sure that would make it into a trending topic. [t/n: why is he cursing himself like thissss]

C: Are you still going to dance? LYN: How about no. Regarding dancing, I’ve really... given up. I had a dream once of being a singer/dancer- I wanted to be able to do it all. But dancing, really... I don’t need it. If I had this capacity I’d rather spend it working hard on other aspects I could improve on. This is good enough. This is why after all these years I’ve never tried doing any side jobs. Other artists will, but I haven’t because I don’t have the skill. If I were to do it, I’d want to do it to the best of my ability- that’s the basic logic of any profession. So instead of focusing on branching out, I’d rather spend my efforts improving on things I am currently involved in. C: I’m sure “Liu Yuning Dancing” could make it into a trending topic. LYN: My dancing can’t get me trending- who do you think I am? I am very self-aware. You think “Liu Yuning Dancing” can get me a trending topic? There’s no way. No one cares, either. Who cares whether I dance or not? It’s weird. There’s nothing to see. You (my fans) can see it. LYN: If there were something that read “Liu Yuning Jumps into Water on New Year’s Performance” I’m sure people would want to see that. But “Dancing”? Who cares. If I were singing and suddenly jumped into the water- /gurgles into the mic/- if I sang under the water I’m sure people would be interested. That would definitely be worthy of a trending topic. No one cares about dancing, but they care about jumping into water.

- break #1 (to get some water) - [t/n: chat is suddenly talking about mahjong. not sure how they got to the topic, lol.] LYN: My stream can be strict. When I said “pung” and “kong”- if some anti were to get ahold of this and say that I was promoting gambling, what would happen? It’s terrifying. If they wanted to prove my guilt they would just show this clip. So let’s try to be strict with this, and you all can stop playing into it as well. 

- asked him to play the New Life Begins OST - 清晖 (Qing Hui); promotes the drama C: Who’s the male lead? LYN: You’d know if you go to watch the drama. It’s called 卿卿日常 (New Life Begins). You’ll know (who the male lead is) if you go watch. I won’t mention any names; but not because we don’t have a good relationship! Anyway, just watch the drama! Show it your support! That’s the end of that, alright? LYN: But this is- this is the OST that the male lead recommended me for. I’m very thankful to him. A lot of you already know the story- he asked the production if they could contract me to sing the OST, and then it happened. This is a job he essentially gave to me. It’s very nice. I’m thankful. Later I’ll have to... buy him something in return. C: Are you going to gift him shoes? LYN: Not shoes. I told you last time- I heard he likes shoes, so I’d give him some tools he can clean his shoes with. 授人以鱼不如授人以渔. (Giving a man a fish is not as good as teaching the man to fish.) You know that foaming cleanser and the brush- it’s very convenient. One use and the shoes will be white as new. Maybe some electric shoe scrubs- to get them nice and clean. There’s that saying: Gifting a man shoes is not as good as gifting a shoe brush. There’s an old saying like that. C: Who said it? LYN: ... Zhang Fei did. (military general who served under the warlord Liu Bei during late Eastern Han and early Three Kingdoms period in China)

- the in-ear is hurting him (sore), so he’s changing out to his earbuds. LYN: This is more comfortable. There’s not as much pressure on the ears.

C: I watch your streams while eating. LYN: Watching my streams helps you eat well? Your ability to eat well means that you CAN eat- what does that have to do with my stream?? What does your food intake have to do with me? Later, when you get fat, you’ll end up blaming me for it. “His streams made me eat so much!” Don’t put this on me, ok? LYN: But I guess this is an acknowledgement of me. It’s like saying that my stream is worth a meal. They could have gotten some take-out or are eating at home, but my stream counts as a dish, too. Even if it’s a small salted dish. Because of my stream, it’s enhanced the flavor of their meal. Is that it? On the other hand, if you watch my stream and STOP eating, that would be strange. Is LYN so disgusting you no longer have an appetite? That would be strange. So saying that I pair well with a meal is also a type of affirmation. C: Because you are my “dish (type)”~ LYN: This joke is so old, too old! It’s from five years ago, and you’re still using it?? 

C: Will you come to Macao for the New Year? LYN: If I said “yes” then you’d already know which stage performance I’m planning to be at. If I say “no” then you’d know that I am not attending that event. I can’t say. //  Because Jiangsu Satellite TV’s concert is always held in Macao. C: Will you go home? LYN: Probably not, but it’s hard to say. There’s always a lot to do at the end of the year. It’s highly likely that I will continue to work through it. We’ll see.

C: Your voice is so nice. LYN: ~Is it? You really think so? Ha Ha~ LYN: ~Honestly, my voice is just average. If you say it’s good, it’s not.If you say that’s it’s bad, you’re not entirely wrong either.~ - /a dorky laugh/

- someone’s roommate called him creepy(??) LYN: What sort of crappy roommate do you have?? What a strange roommate.

“MC”: Someone is asking, “Ning-ge, you just said you’d have stage performances at the end of the year. Is that true?” LYN: What nonsense. I have so much to do at the end of the year. Other than the New Year’s appearances there’s also Spring Night and other galas/events. Those are all stage shows, aren’t they? But I need to tell you- as long as you have a dream, anywhere’s a stage. There must be. My streaming room is also my stage. As long as I have talent, you’ll come. 

C: That sound effect earlier... LYN: What’s wrong with it? Is it weird? Friends, welcome to Masked Singer. When this effect is on it gives off the feeling from that show, doesn’t it? - /playing with the effect/ LYN: I can actually make myself a woman. Not “make” but change the sound so that it sounds like a female’s. How about this- today I sing a female’s song for you. I sang one many years ago- I’ll sing it for you again today. // I’ll find one that’s a male-female duet, and show off the voice changing function. Recommend me some songs, that are male-female duets. It’s better if they’re old songs, because I don’t really know the new ones. C: No Extravagance (Legend of Fei OST) LYN: Let’s not ruin my own song. LYN: How about  知心爱人? I remember that a lot of people were saying their grandmothers and mothers were watching my stream, so I’ll sing an older song. --  知心爱人 - /tries to adjust the voice levels, but his whole microphone cuts out instead/

LYN: H- Hello? Oh. I think the software broke. It scared me to death. It’s so rare that I stream in the afternoon and it was almost BBQ’d. Let’s try again. -- 知心爱人 (take 2) LYN: I don’t think this voice sounded like a woman but more like Minnie Mouse. Have you ever been to the Disney resort? Do you know that sound in the elevator? Every time I go there the voice in the elevator scares me. // I’m sure those of you who’ve been know what I’m talking about. LYN: Anyway, I’ve shown my hand. What you’ve just seen is a preview of what will happen at the New Year’s event I’ll be attending. I’ve spoiled it, but of course I won’t be singing this particular song. I’ll sing a different duet- with myself. No one has ever tried doing this during a New Year’s event, so I’ll be the first. I think it would be worth a trending topic. C: Stop tricking us! LYN: I don’t think there would be any broadcast station that would let me do it. I was just making a joke. I’ve already told you- just listen to the contents of my stream for entertainment. During this period of time you can choose to believe on 20% of what I say. The rest is a fart in the wind. Don’t take it seriously. C: 0% (Believe nothing) LYN: Not that low.

C: Ning-ge, can you change up your style? LYN: /sigh/ What type of style do you want? It’s actually pretty simple. I can make it so that my normal streaming style is like that of a late night radio, if you want. But I don’t think you’ll like it. Let me find some music that fits the mood, first. LYN: ~Welcome everyone, to my stream. Welcome. Today, the weather is cold. I don’t know if the temperature has dropped, where you are? When I woke up this morning, I felt distinctly cold... so I put on my thermals. Ever since I was small my family had always told me that you can’t wear just thermals, you also have to wear socks. I’ve always taken good care of my legs, because my grandmother told me I had to protect them. If you don’t keep them warm, when you get old they will hurt and will bend. So ever since I was small, I’ve liked wearing very thick socks. I wore thermals and thick cotton pants. When everyone else was still wearing shorts I already had my thermal; and when they started wearing thermals I was already wearing my cotton pants on top. And when people started wearing their cotton pants, I would have already added woolen pants. So I hope that everyone here can be like me, and have a warm winter. LYN: What do you think? Aren’t these small eyes so magnetic~? I don’t have any sort of image, as long as it’s not setting me back. I CAN speak Standard Mandarin, but I think that using my dialect and making the content funny lets you watch the stream in a more relaxed state. I also think about being cool, ~and I CAN be cool~ /laughs at himself/ That needs to be paired with music. If I want to be cool, I can: ~You ARE my DeSTinY~~~ /cheesing it up for the camera/ LYN: That’s enough of that.

C: Small eyes. LYN: What nonsense?! Who has small eyes??? Let me tell you- I have no other weaknesses. You can tell me I’m ugly and I can accept that, as long as you don’t go into detail. But as soon as someone says my eyes are small- the truth is laid out in front of my eyes, so I have no other choice but to be hurt by it. Who has small eyes?! I’m gonna tear this room apart. If you keep saying my eyes are small I’m going to get double-eyelid surgery as soon as this drama finishes up! I’ll make it start right under my eyebrows! If I open my eyes, all you’ll see is the double eyelid! LYN: I think someone else has described this perfectly. They said that my eyes are the same width as my eyebrows. I looked into the mirror, and that is exactly the case. What they said was the truth, and it’s like they even measured it.  LYN: Let me tell you- in this industry, there’s no lack of handsome men. Really. There are too many. But they lack uniqueness. Ey~ The thing that’s unique about me is that my eyes are small.  C: I like the small-eyed ones. LYN: See? Everyone has their own sense of beauty. If you like small eyes, come to me. If you like big eyes, you can go to ZSX.

C: Ning-ge, your beard grows so fast. LYN: Yes, it does grow quite quickly. I get up in the morning, wash my face and shave, then get into hair and makeup and jump into filming. Around the afternoon my beard’s already grown out. But I don’t really want to shave it on scene, because that would mean I have to remove the makeup. So one day... FYL sent me an instrument for freezing hair removal. I’ve been at home lately and I really want to try it out- I want to remove the beard. But I read the instructions and it seems a bit difficult to use. I don’t know how it works and I don’t dare to try! I guess one day if there’s a chance I can invite him to my house so he can do it for me. He sent me the instrument but I don’t know how it works. I’m afraid if I try something (and do it incorrectly) I’ll break my face. I’ll have him come over sometime. C: He’s not using it anymore? LYN: No, he bought two and gifted me with one of them. He’s a good kid. C: Don’t remove it- it will harm your skin. LYN: I already thought about that and with all the layers of makeup they put on me for filming, my skin’s already very harmed. They use alcohol adhesive to glue the wig on and sometimes I have a red ring here when it comes off that hurts. Some parts are so red and irritated it’s leaving lasting effects. So if it will harm my skin by laser removing the hair, then that ship has already left the port. C: Ning-ge, your pores will get bigger. LYN: What are you talking about? That’s really strange. Have you forgotten that I have a makeup spokesman-ship? Have you forgotten I have that collab? I don’t have pores or any skin problems. I’m VERY healthy. You can say I’m ugly, but you can’t hurt the brands I am working with. C: Ning-ge, what if you remove your beard and it never grows back? LYN: Is a beard something you NEED in life? If I don’t grow one... then I just won’t have one. Also, do you think that if I use that thing I will never grow hair again? There’s no way. It’ll only lessen the hairs, it’s not like it’ll be removing the follicles. I think this instrument will definitely thin the hairs- so that they are not as prominent- but it’s not going to destroy the roots. What do I need a beard for, anyway? Am I going to be a Daoist master, who needs a long beard? I don’t need it. If I need a beard for filming... it’ll grow out eventually.

C: Liu-ge, you’re filming? LYN: You called me “Liu-ge” so you must not be my fan. You’re asking me if I’ve been filming recently? No. I have this wig on because I’ll be attending ComicCon in a bit. I’m cosplaying... as BCF. When the time comes I’ll change into the costume and go. People will go take photos of me. I’m not filming- I’ve been sitting around at home, doing nothing. C: I like calling you “Liu-ge”! LYN: You can, I was just kidding. “Liu-ge”, “Ning-ge”, “Liu Yuning”- all is fine.

C: Are you going to sing a new song for the new year? LYN: No, I won’t. I was planning on releasing my second album this year, in 2022- but I haven’t finished the songs. I was thinking I would release the album when I’ve got 10 songs ready, but I’ve only finished a small portion. Last year I sang a new song, so I wanted to sing a new song for this year as well... but I thought about it and that didn’t work out so well for me. If we follow this logic, it’ll take me ten years to release my whole second album. Over the course of 10 New Year’s, I’ll sing a single new song from my album. That’s not worth it. So this year I won’t sing a new song, and probably sing something everyone is more familiar. Maybe it will be better this way, and people will actually watch my performance. - /starts humming Wujiapo/ C: New Year’s Song. LYN: I have a song called “New Year’s Song”, did you know? Those of you who are my fans probably know it. When it gets around the new year, all the supermarkets will start playing this song. You’ve probably even heard it, but just don’t know that it’s mine. I released this song because at the time I was working with Richie Ren, my Qi-ge, and he asked me if I had ever thought of releasing a holiday/seasonal song. And then it occurred to me that I should; and that’s right, because he has a lot of songs that can be played during the holidays and can be played for years to come. He suggested I should release a song in relation to the New Year, so I found the producer I work with often, Yu Tian. A lot of the songs on my album are his. I contacted his and asked to write me a New Year’s Song. It’s been two years since then. This year I’m planning to release another. A 2.0 version. You can listen to it during the New Year. C: The song title can be “New Year’s Second Song”. LYN: Sure, let’s call it that. The first is called “New Year’s Song” (过年的歌) and this one will be... “New Year’s Second Song” (过年第二首歌) is a little long. You have to consider whether people will be willing to search for this name or not. Let’s call it... “The Song You’re Still Listening to on New Year”- how’s that? Or- this song is called “New Year’s Song” (过年的歌), so the next one can be “The Song You Listen to on New Year’s” (过年听的歌), the third year I’ll release one called “The Song You Still Listen to on New Year’s” (过年还要听的歌). It is just that random. Whatever I think of, will become the name of the song. LYN: It’ll be called “The Song You Listen to on New Year’s” (过年听的歌). It’s currently being written, so when I finish recording it, I’ll release it for the New Year.

C: Chat about Givenchy! LYN: Givenchy... do you need me to introduce the products to you? I’ll need to show you how to use it? I’m sure you all know much better than I do how to use the lipstick, powder, and foundation. You can use them better than I can.

- /calls himself a well-versed salesperson, recommending you some products/

C: When will you finish streaming? LYN: Have you seen enough already? If you’ve seen enough, just tell it to me straight. You don’t need to push me.

C: Expensive-brother, Xiao Liu. LYN: This used to be my job- I used to be a shopper and a salesperson. When someone walked into the shop, I would recommend clothing and give my opinion. Someone would come in and ask to try something on, so I’d get it for them and when they wore it I would say, “Jie, you look so pretty in that. It’s so nice and makes you look slim. Also, you can look in the mirror. Go ahead, look. Doesn’t it make your complexion look so nice? Right? Oily and black**. (a joke) This type of article makes you look healthy, but there are other colors that can make you seem paler. You can take a look.” That was my job, and I was professional. It took so much for me to get into the entertainment circle and become an artist... and I’ve started to sell things again (by being brand spokesperson/ambassador). XD C: Ning-ge, if you really said that, would you get hit? LYN: How- How could I call someone dark**? There are techniques to selling clothing- well, not techniques- but you have to consider who you’re talking to and respect every individual. If someone comes into the shop and tries on some clothes, of course you’re going to compliment her. What else can you say? “It doesn’t look good. Take it off.”?? She tries it on and you say, “No, you’re ruining it. Take it off. Don’t impact our brand’s image.” There’s no way you’re going to say that, so of course you are going to compliment them. /laughs at the image/ You’re a salesperson and a girl comes in to try on some clothes. You say, “No, this wont do. Look at this. You’re already so dark and with these clothes you look darker.” “Look at your waist. This clothing was slimming, but with it on you’ve made a pool floaty out of it. Take it off. Don’t damage our brand’s image. My goodness.” I’m sure the shop owner would not beat this employee to death but also not stay in business for long. So you have to give compliments, and there are so many topics your can highlight. The first is: “You look thin.” Secondly, “You have a good color/complexion.”- but it depends on the situation. If they wear something and it makes them look dark, you have to say that it makes them look flushed and young. If they wear it and they look ruddy and red, you have to say it makes them look paler. Pale, thin, and a good figure. The fourth compliment you can give is telling them that only their stature/aura can pull it off. I’m sure these points can convince them into a purchase. Then, if they really do not look good in the clothes at all, but you can tell that they WANT to buy it, you can say, “Jie, maybe your makeup today doesn’t match. I think your lipstick color doesn’t suit this clothing. If you really like it, you can buy it home first. Change up your makeup and if you really don’t like it, then you can come return it or I can exchange it for you.” It doesn’t matter if she comes back later to return it, as long as you have record of the initial sale, you can continue to survive in the shop. Sales are the only thing that matters. C: What happens if she’s not wearing makeup? LYN: “Jie, this is- are you not wearing makeup today?” She replies that she’s not. “No makeup but you still look this pretty? Your skin is so good. Oh my goodness. In that case, you should buy this clothes home, and then when you go out you can apply some makeup and it will look even better.” LYN: If you have a good head on your shoulders or if you like learning, then you can survive in any industry. You have to take the time to do you research and consider all the factors. You have to think about it. Sales/Marketing is the hardest profession, in my opinion. Because you have to face people directly, and people come in all sorts. You never know who you’re going to face. C: You can talk the dead back to life. LYN: No, that’s unlikely. I’m just talking about the basic techniques, for the sales of smaller commercial items, like clothes, shoes, etc. Cheaper things like that. It doesn’t require a lot of skill. But if you’re selling houses- those people are impressive. 

C: Ning-ge, I only want to know what your next drama will be. LYN: What do you care, are you going to invest? Do you think I’m going to be a dark horse in the future, and you want to invest in me? Bet? Why are you asking me about my next drama- when it’s decided I’ll tell you all about it. LYN: I’ve told you about those accounts, haven’t I? Even if they mention me, like “OOO drama, LYN is cast”- I’m sure you’ve seen the posts. Regarding these things, from my perspective, it’s an acknowledgement. To a degree. That’s the only thing I can say. Because if someone mentions me and no one cares, then why would they even bother? Even if they’re mentioning me because they have NO faith in me, and they’re only doing it to gain attention because I have a lot of antis and they want the action it can bring, it’s still an acknowledgement. This way is also a viable method (of gaining attention). But the fact that they’ve mentioned me means that they’re taking me seriously in this industry, and I can continue to survive. At the very least I’m considered at all. LYN: On the other hand, I hope that it’s the case that I actually AM confirmed for the project and you don’t look highly on me, so you curse at me. But I haven’t even been confirmed yet- or it has nothing to do with me, even- and you’ve ALREADY started cursing at me. Now, that’s strange. Someone just said it offhandedly, “It’s possible that...”- and people are already cursing at me for the POSSIBILITY. If it turns out to be true, then I’ll get another round. I don’t mind being cursed at for something I am confirmed for, because I came to work and I got paid for it. But why are you cursing at me for something I haven’t even done?!? I see these things and it’s really strange. I look into the articles and see everyone cursing at me and I’m confused and angry. Why are they yelling at me? They have the right to do it if it were true, but it’s not, so why?? I really don’t mind if you curse at me for something I’ve done- but I’d appreciate that you don’t preemptively curse at me for something I haven’t even done yet. Thank you, everyone. C: They’re trying to piggyback off your popularity. LYN: What popularity?? I don’t have any. In any case, the system is... mysterious.

LYN: This industry, honestly- because I wasn’t recruited or trained by a traditional company- I didn’t go the long route. My method of debut is quite unusual- and all my fans and everyone who knows me even just a little all know. That’s why the things I say and do is quite unlike everyone else. Who else is going to come here and put on a stream, just to chat about everything and nothing for four hours? Also- the fact that I was doing alright as a singer, but decided to jump into acting. I don’t- or rarely- contract business proposals. Magazines- up until this day, I still haven’t done photoshoots. There’s no other artist out there who plays it like I do. I just like being different from everyone else. I’m a mysterious existence (in the entertainment industry). I don’t want to be the same. I’m not trying to say the “traditional” method is bad- I just don’t want to be like everyone else. I think it’s funner this way.

C: You can do some magazines... LYN: I don’t really want to- Well, first, the main thing is, I don’t have time. That’s the MAIN thing. /winks/ But if there were some dramas that I need to promote by doing some photoshoots, then I will do those. But normally I wouldn’t go... I just don’t have time. [t/n: Yeah, Ning-ge, blame it on the TIME. Anyway, he hates doing photoshoots and this is why literally the only magazine shoot out right now is the one he did for the Long Ballad. Heroes sort of counts, but not really because it was self-funded and he did it to play around with ZSX and YCY.

LYN: Friends, you already know what’s happening, right? Do you know what’s happening right now? Friends. Oh my goodness. Its the middle of the afternoon and my neighbors are fighting. At night it’s alright, but it’s the afternoon and they’re waging war. Wait for me a sec- they’re over here yelling. I’m going to go take a look. Wait for me, don’t leave. I’m going to go look- I can’t leave them like this. -- break #2

🤓🤓🤓

C: This érhuà pronunciation (rhotacization)... LYN: What? What’s wrong with it? I think it’s because us people from the North like to use it. - /gives an example with “这屋里什么味” (What smell is in this room?), and says it feels weird to say it without the érhuà/ LYN: I have a couple of colleagues from the crew- one of the friends is from the South. People from the South can’t really say the érhuà. I don’t know if any of you here are from southern regions?

- /shakes his hands, because he forgot to earlier (to prove he washed his hands after using the restroom)/ LYN: Sorry, I forgot. It’s been too long since I streamed last.

LYN: But- I don’t know if any one here is from the South, and they can’t say the érhuà? One of the lines in the script was “真是邪了门了!” (xie le me(n)’r le // it’s really evil!) But he’s from the South, and can’t really say the érhuà sound. His Standard Mandarin is very good- but even he thinks that his érhuà comes out sounding uncomfortable. /demonstrates how the colleague says the line: (xie le men er le)/ No matter how he said it, he felt uncomfortable, so we were discussing on how to change the line. I asked him what he’d change it to, and he said “真是见了鬼了!” (jian le gui le // met a ghost/damning) That works, too! 真是邪了门了! --> 真是见了鬼了!

C: My roommate tried it. LYN: Have them try another. In the Northeast we like to say that we’re “哥门” (ge’r me(n)’r //buddies). Try it. Can you say it? He and I are good “ge er men er”. XD This is my “哥门” and she is my “姐门”. You can’t pronounce it, huh? The érhuà is used a lot in the North, I think most everyone from there can say it. - /Another example: Northeast uses “胡同” (hutong’r / hu tong er (for those who can’t say it)) for alley, other places may use “巷子” (xiangzi)/

C: Liu Yuning’r. LYN: You can add it to the end of my name? Are you trying to take advantage of me?? Who adds the -er to the end of my name??! “Liu Yuning-er”. Are you taking advantage of me?? You dare call me “son (儿)”??

LYN: You all can’t say it? I don’t believe you. /goes back to the example earlier, with the smelly room; boils down to: 味+儿 vs 味道/ Oh, I’m sorry. It turns out it was a me problem. But I don’t believe that you don’t use this sound at all? Let me try to think of a word with the rhotacization that you HAVE to say, and that Northerners say as well. Do you use the expression “哥门”? You don’t use it? If you don’t call them your “哥门”, what do you say? Do you just say, “This person is my “gē mén”?” Is it said like that? C: We don’t use it, we say “兄弟 (xiōng dì)”. LYN: Ah, you’ve replaced it with another word.

LYN: Then, what if you want to eat a “冰棍 (bīng gùn” (popsicle; lit: ice rod)? /tries it out without the érhuà and laughs/ What happens? How are you supposed to say it?? “Boss, give me a “bīng gùn”- they’re gonna get a rod out and beat you. C: 冰棒 (bīng bàng) [popsicle]// 雪糕 (xuě gāo)/ 冰淇淋 (bīng qí lín) [ice cream] LYN: Oh. You don’t call it a “bīng gùn”. I know xuě gāo- it’s like the texture of the ice cream, but the shape of a popsicle. So what about the ones that are water based and frozen into a solid? Do you call it a 雪条 (xuě tiáo) [snow bar/strip]? // If you can’t say it, then you won’t buy it, is that it? You just won’t eat. Is it called a 棒冰 (bàng bīng)? LYN: Over here, we call a 冰棒 (bīng bàng) the type that’s a plastic tube that’s filled with liquid, frozen into a stick- and we break it in half and can eat from both sides. // It really is the case where if you can’t say the érhuà, you use a different word entirely! C: Just don’t call it by name. LYN: “Boss, I want this one.” Boss: “What’s it called?” and you can’t pronounce it, so you say “This one. I just want THIS one.” - /discovers people can’t say “根” with the érhuà either; tries it without./

LYN: Alright, let’s not talk about this anymore. - /continues to talk about it, this time with the word: 小孩 (xiǎo hái) [child], and learns a bunch of alternatives you can use to call said child./ -- 亲爱的小孩 (Dear Child) by Andy Lau LYN: I doesn’t seem like I can use it when I’m singing, though.

C: Ning-ge, you don’t look as bloated as you did this morning. LYN: I’ve already been streaming for a while. I’ve sweated and drunk water, so it should have lessened. I just woke a little early today. 

- /saw a passing comment/ LYN: What is “依兰爱情故事 (Ylang Ylang Love Story)”? Let me see if I’ve heard this song before. /plays it/ Oh, this is ENTIRELY using the érhuà! :D I think this song is suitable for Southerners to practice using the érhuà with. If you have this song down, then you won’t have any trouble with it. It’ll be nothing. A piece of cake. Let’s experience this song together. Let me see if I can sing it for you. -- 依兰爱情故事 (Ylang Ylang Love Story) LYN: This song is definitely worth practicing. - /fools around with the word 人 (rén) + and - the rhotacization/ LYN: Okay, forget it. Let’s not discuss this anymore. I only discovered this the other day, it’s been so many years and I only just realized. Because many of the crew for YNGS are from the South. I didn’t know they couldn’t say the érhuà. That was a piece of cold knowledge to me. That was the first I knew of it.

C: Ning-ge, I’m from Beijing’r! (北京儿人) LYN: Beijing... I don’t think you need to add the rhotacization there, do you? Even if you did, it would be after the 人 and not 北京! It’s supposed to be 北京人儿, not 北京儿人. You can’t just stick it in wherever! - /explaining how actually, you don’t stick the rhotic after 人 either, rather you change the pronunciation of the whole word./

C: Ning-ge, can you make the retroflex sound? (zh, ch, sh) LYN: Isn’t the word itself (翘舌 qiào shé) a retroflex? In the Dandong dialect we don’t differentiate between s- and sh-. /demonstrates with the word for snake (蛇 shé) C: Ning-ge, can you roll your tongue (roll your ‘r’s)? LYN: No. C: Ning-ge, do you differentiate between n/l? LYN: The problem is that Northeastern dialect is that we don’t differentiate the retroflex and we use a lot of rhotacization. Another thing is, our use manipulation of tones is pretty strange. They were grilling me about a word the other day: 休息 (xiū xí) [rest]. Usually it’s “xi” with the first tone, but we say it with the third tone. We change the tone a lot of the time. It’ll be first tone but we’ll change it to two, but most often use third tone. - /says he feels like it gives him more of a sense of authority/

LYN: Friends, we’re taking an online class here. Now we’re learning linguistics.

C: If a foreigner were listening to this they’d be confused. LYN: I’m sure they would be!

🤓🤓🤓

C: When will Zi Chuan air? LYN: I don’t know. It’s possible that it will air at the end of this year. Everything’s been finished for a while now. I think it’s possible it can air at the end of the year. Around December. But I don’t really have a lot of scenes in it. There were 48 episodes (for two seasons/parts) and I only have around 200 scenes. LYN: I was pretty ugly at the time. I looked worse because I was more puffy, and not as thin as I am now. Let me tell you, when you’re on camera, you really have to be thin. It’s not about being healthy or not, but once you’re on camera if you’re just a little bit on the chubby side, you’ll look bad. Of course, there’s some aspects of the ugliness that had nothing to do with my weight- that’s just natural. But if you are thinner then it really does looks a little better on camera.

C: ALZ? LYN: I already said through multiple streams that I haven’t even done the voice acting for it yet. Based on this information alone, you can infer that the drama won’t be airing anytime soon.

C: You look handsome! LYN: You’re all just looking at the reuters/spoilers online, right? Those are definitely edited. They’ve been edited to make me look better, let’s all admit it. If they didn’t I’m sure you’d all find me ugly. LYN: Speaking of which, there have been a lot of leaks for my current drama YNGS. I saw a few of you getting agitated, too, asking me if there was any way the crew could control people because there’s TOO MUCH content being leaked every day. “I’ve never seen a drama that’s been leaked so much!” Actually, it’s not that much, it’s just that you’re not paying attention to the other dramas. I have some friends whose dramas have been leaked FAR WORSE than mine has. The key to whether there are a lot of leaks or not really depends on the filming location/environment. If they’re shooting inside a tent, you’re going to see less because the location is closed off. You don’t see very many leaks of xianxia dramas because they’re mostly all filmed inside a tent. If you’re not filming in a closed location, then of course you will have a lot of leaks. There’s space in all directions with no way to control people. It’s not like there’s a wall or a screen. There’s really nothing you can do about it. There’s no avoiding it. We’re ALREADY hiding in the mountains. So you want someone to scour the mountain with a dog, searching for people recording? There’s no way that can happen, and there’s no avoiding it. There’s really no way to control the online spoilers.

C: Ning-ge, did it hurt when you fell into the water? LYN: Ah, the hot topic from BYOL? Did it hurt when I fell into the water (fountain)? I saw a lot of leaks of that, too. Did it hurt? YEAH IT DID. My knee still hurts. It wasn’t a serious pain though. I went back for the wrap party- I try to attend the wrap party of every drama I’ve participated in, because after spending 2-4 months with a group of people, you’re going to develop a connection. I originally went back to attend the wrap party. Our scriptwriter heard the news and asked, “Xiao Ning, you’re really coming back?” I said yes, and she said, “Great! Let me write you a few more scenes.” I.. that’s not... necessary? I only wanted to go back to attend the wrap party, but she said, “It’s alright! Don’t worry. I’ll write them for you. You’re not doing anything when you come back, anyway. You can shoot a couple more scenes and we can pad the story a little. It’ll be great.” She’s great, and we have a good relationship, so I said, “Ok, write it then.” And she let me fall into the water. It was supposed to be for comedic relief. Usually- like when doing guzhuang dramas- I would wear protective guards. For fight scenes we’d wear arm and leg guards. But for a modern drama, that’s very difficult. Because my jeans were too skinny. There was no way to fit any guards in there. So I thought, “Okay, I’ll fall.” It looks like a heavy fall but it really wasn’t too bad. My right knee did get a little hurt, though. C: The door fell again. LYN: The door fell into the water? LYN: I thought it wouldn’t hurt but who would have thought? 真是见了鬼了. (How damning.) LYN: I saw those videos, because there were a lot of people around filming, and they all ended up online. There were a lot of my friends on scene watching me act. I heard one of them cry after I fell. In the video, right after my fall she cried. She played a 心疼giegie (feel sorry for gege) on me. Well- she didn’t cry- but it sounded like, you know, she was worried for me. She thought that I would break. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, because she’s my friend. I’m sure that if one of your friends tripped and fell you’d be laughing. So you’re not a good person, either. But if you see your friend fall and are unable to go help them up, you’re probably going to feel bad and sorry for them. 心疼giegie. LYN: Anyway, it was in that recording and the others around her which were also recording, so the sound made it into a few different videos. There’s a space for comments when it was put up online some said, “You can hear the fans crying.” The passersby were very nice, and I think any normal person’s reaction would be to go “Wow! Someone just fell.” Or if it looked very funny, they might laugh but then show some concern since it looked like a bad fall. Even if they laughed it wouldn’t be from a place of ill-intent. But I always see comments that read like this, “If I could to make 1mil in a day, I’d go fall too. What’s there to feel sorry about?” I always see comments like this, under my videos or under anyone else’s. I don’t NEED you to feel sorry for me, but I also don’t think there’s any need (to make such comments). I don’t know if you’ve seen these types? It could be an artist or a singer who’s gotten hurt, and even if the person themselves say that they’re alright- they’re already being brave about it- they don’t consider it a big deal. People will say, “Oh, they got hurt” and there will always be the comments that say, “They make so much money, what do they have to be afraid of a small injury for? If I made that much money, I’d be willing to get hurt too. You can take my arm.” There are always these types of comments. LYN: I don’t think there’s any need. If you- if you think that you want to do this type of work, then come do it. If you want the opportunity to suffer an injury for what you think we make in a day, then come. Don’t just run your mouth, come on. You can work hard for the day you are the person in the video, and not the one just sitting around making baseless comments. I am just a very normal person who made my start by busking street in order to make it to where I am today. I know from experience what you’re trying to say. If you also want to live this type of life then you can keep working hard instead of running your mouth. LYN: I hope that people on the internet can be kinder, because you never know what words of yours can hurt someone else. I’m not saying that you’re harming anyone, but I don’t want you to harm anyone INTENTIONALLY. You have to be a good person.

C: Ning-ge, do you play games? LYN: I said that I used to play games during breaks on set, but this drama really doesn’t give you any time to play AT ALL. None. Not a single bit. So I can’t play. 

🐴🐴🐴

C: You look so handsome riding a horse now. LYN: Oh, I don’t deserve the praise. Have you ever heard of the phrase, “打死犟嘴的淹死会水的” (the stubborn will be beaten to death and swimmers will be drowned) That’s what my family always told me when I was little. What does it mean? It’s an old Northeastern saying, I guess. Usually children like to be stubborn, so they will be hit. If you’re not stubborn and quickly apologize for your wrongdoings, then you won’t be hit. And as for the second half, it means that the more you think that you can swim, the more likely you are to drown. For someone like me who can’t swim, if I see water I’ll stay far away from it, so I am less likely to encounter this danger. People who can’t swim normally won’t go near the water, unless they were thrown in- which is a different case entirely. That would be illegal. That’s not good. Riding a horse is the same. I don’t dare to say that I CAN ride because I’ve met too many people who said that they could, but have fallen off a horse.  LYN: In my last drama- I forget which it was- but someone was bragging about their horse-riding, and how they’ve shot so many scenes over the years and then? As soon as the shoot started they fell from the horse. I think this really gave me a wake up call. The first scene I ever shot for the Long Ballad I was kicked by the horse, too. Ever since then I have had a reverence for horses, and I don’t consider that a bad thing. Whenever I see a horse I feel a sense of awe. I need to respect them and love them, and consider them my friend. After I ride the horse I will always pat it and tell it “Thank You.” - /the first thing he does when he gets to set and has a horse scene that day is to give the horse a carrot or two. And now that the horse has eaten his offering, it owes it to him to be nice. XD/ C: Don’t pat it on the butt, though. LYN: Of course not. LYN: And, every time after I finish riding the horse I will always tell it “thank you”. I don’t know if it can understand, but at least it can feel my respect for it. C: Ning-ge, you’re good at “拍马屁”! [colloquially: to kiss up to someone; literally: patting a horse’s buttocks] LYN: Do I have a death wish? Have you ever heard the saying “an old horse’s buttocks are untouchable”? What you lack in life are these so called “old sayings” like this. C: Ning-ge, it’s supposed to be “tiger”. LYN: They’re all animals and you shouldn’t be touching any of their butts, whether that’s tiger, horse, goat, or cow. You can’t touch any of them. We switch out the animal depending on the situation. C: You can touch Daimi’s! C: Ning-ge, what about yours? LYN: 

LYN: If you can’t watch properly, get out. If you can’t continue watching and you find this stream uncomfortable, you can leave. Why do I feel like you’re trying to provoke me. I’m bringing you happiness, and you’re trying to provoke me?? AND you want to touch my butt???  LYN: Then, I will gift you with a saying, “Lao Liu’s butt is untouchable!” LYN: Friends, I’ve been cyber-bullied. I get the feeling those words were said just to cyber-bully me. LYN: So, I can ride a horse now. I saw that there were some pictures of me circulating online and I looked pretty cool. I can ride, but if you ask if I can ride at a gallop- if remember someone in the last stream asked such a question- well, it depends on how long. I think one minute would be okay, but I don’t think I can handle one hour. It depends on the horse, too. Horses are just like our automobiles nowadays- they all have their speed limits. - /gives some examples to the effect of: the car CAN go 100mph, but is it safe? No. So you drive at a safer speed of 30-40mph. It’s the same with horses./ LYN: My first guzhuang drama, the horse that kicked me on first meeting- it’s name was Little Nezha. I’ve remembered it. The horse I’m riding now is called, “One-Two-Three”. Yes, it’s just that random. A lot of the horses have names, and I’ve asked before. Because dogs definitely recognize their name when we call them and your cats do, too. But horses- at least the ones in Hengdian- don’t know their own names. After they’re bought, they’re already mature horses- it’s not like we are raising them from young, in which case they would know their own names. These horses are already mature, so basically you’re just giving them a label. We’re giving them artist names. My horse is called One-Two-Three.

LYN: ! I’ve fond some of you seem to have issues. I don’t like it when you play these jokes with me. Someone just commented that the reason I can’t ride a horse is because I have... “that”. I don’t have it! Don’t go around making rumors, saying useless stuff.  [t/n: I also want to know what “that” is... ]

LYN: I can ride a horse just fine, normally. But if you want me to fly, I can’t do it.

C: Is One-Two-Three aggressive? LYN: It’s not- actually it’s pretty timid, but those are the hardest to ride, I think. Sometimes with guzhuang dramas you need to ride in the rain- as soon as the artificial sprinklers turn on the horse will get scared and can’t be controlled, which makes it hard to shoot the scene. I think aggressive horses... they’re probably ok? I haven’t met any- most of mine are the timid ones. They’re more sensitive, so I guess that’s where the expression “马惊了!” (the horse is startled) came from. LYN: Nezha wasn’t aggressive, it was just too timid and hyper-vigilant. It felt danger when people approached, so it tried to make me get away from it. I told you- it kicked me because it wasn’t quite right in the head. It has some psychosis which couldn’t be cured, because it’s difficult to treat a horse. It usually shoots the action scenes, where it has to fall. It’s just fallen too many times that it’s created a trauma for the horse. It’s sad. I wanted to understand it, so I learned about its story, but after I did it just confirmed the fact that “可恨之马必有可怜之处” (a hateful horse must have sad beginnings). C: Give it extra carrots! LYN: I’ve never met it again. And I don’t want to meet it again. This horse and I are maintaining a “to each his own” relationship. I hope one day it gets its big break.

C: Have you ever met a horse get startled? LYN: I haven’t. But my last drama was also a guzhuang and there was a scene where the horse pulls a carriage and the horse got startled and started running. I wasn’t filming that day so I wasn’t on scene- it wasn’t my carriage. But it ended up taking the side mirrors off one of our crew’s new cars. The horse was pulling a carriage, right? So the horse ran past just fine, but the carriage didn’t make it.  LYN: There was another scene in my last drama, but I wasn’t in the carriage. I was riding in front, and the carriage in the back. The horse was walking along and then suddenly got scared. It could have been anything, but it got scared and ran straight into a ditch. There’s a road with two ditches on the sides, and the horse got scared and ran for the ditch. It doesn’t care, because it can get across just fine, but the problem is there’s a carriage with an actor in it attached! So.. /laughs/ the actor ended up in the ditch. Oh, I probably shouldn’t laugh. My merit just decreased one point. Thankfully it wasn’t a serious incident. No injuries, just a bit startled.

LYN: You probably see through the leaks I’ve been riding a black horse. That’s One-Two-Three.

🐴🐴🐴

C: Ning-ge, why can’t Daimi run in a straight line. LYN: Oh, you’ve found it out. XD Ever since she was little she hasn’t been able to run in a straight line. I think she might be a little disabled, but she walks just fine normally. It’s just that when she runs it seems like as soon as her feet hit the ground, her butt flies out. She runs sideways. I guess she has more power in her hind legs. But it could be because she’s chunky. 

- /checking how long he’s been streaming for, bc if it’s been long enough he’ll go rest and take a nap. current time is 2:40. says he’ll keep streaming until 3 full hours. doesn’t know when the next time he’ll stream is./

- /is okay with the night scenes because they’re more action than fight lately. just for show./ LYN: I think YNGS... will be a really good drama. The script and everything is very good. I hope everyone- at least my fans- can keep it in mind. I hope that it airs well.  LYN: I’ve also seen that people are getting agitated at the amount of leaks, and are trying to argue with people to stop posting them. They’re trying to scold people, which I think is within their right, but also the fact of the matter is that even if you scold people it’s no use. They’re going to post what they want. I don’t think you need to rebuke people so fiercely, and in turn it makes us look bad. The best thing we can do is not to circulate the contents, and that’s enough. You don’t need to start any fights, because no matter what you do it’s going through deaf ears anyway. If they really listen to reason and stop posting, that would be ok. But in the majority, that’s not going to be he case and it’s not as if you’re going to find where they live and go beat them. That’s not worthwhile. The best we can do is not circulate the content and not make a problem for the drama crew. That’s enough. LYN: It’s okay to be be more mild about it. Because this is a drama, and not a target on me personally. It’s about the whole drama group, so we (lyn’s fans) don’t have to get too worked up about it. Another things is, please DO NOT start fights with others. Please. I’ve already said- I’ve only just debuted, but I am old enough. If antis or strangers want to ridicule and curse at me a bit, let them. You can debate with them, but don’t attack. If you really can’t bear it, you can debate; but don’t attack others. Then we would just turn into the same type of people they are. Let’s be harmonious. - /people asking things they shouldn’t and getting scolded/ LYN: Let’s try to protect this drama a little, and wait for it to air. I mean, it hasn’t even FINISHED FILMING yet, you know- there’s no need. I trust that when it comes out it will be a really excellent product. Let’s just anticipate it, and leave it at that. I said earlier, didn’t I? A lot of people asking when this or that drama is going to air- and I told them to just live healthily. We have to stay alive until the day the drama airs. We’ll all see it eventually. So we have to live, happy and healthy, and with a passion for life. 

C: What about your next drama? LYN: Can I tell you? I can’t. It hasn’t even been confirmed yet, if it were I would tell you. Once I sign the contract I’ll tell you. Why would I tell you when it isn’t even official yet? This is like your coworker asking you how much you make- would you tell them? Do you think they would tell you theirs? Say today’s payday and you both get off work, and you ask you coworker how much they got paid. Do you think they would tell you? Never. They don’t want to know, either. Because 1. if they make more than you, you’re going to be jealous of them, or 2. if they make less than you, they’re going to have a breakdown. This is an unspoken agreement between friends. Us actors don’t ask each other how much a drama pays them. I don’t go up to ZSX and ask him how much he gets paid for a drama. I’ve never asked such a question. Don’t ask these questions. Just like with asking your coworker’s salary, you don’t ask an actor what their next drama will be. People just don’t do that.  C: Ning-ge, I’ll tell you. I make 1,800. LYN: Wh- What are you telling me for? Now I’m jealous of you. You can’t just tell people this, friend. Be more subtle. Who knows how you make that money. Don’t get too ahead of yourself. You’ll get a big head. You can’t make yourself out to be someone with so much money- you DO have money- but you can’t be too arrogant or else people will hate you. Remember this, alright? C: I make 10k a month. LYN: See, I was jealous of that person, but now I hate you. Why do you deserve it? We’re all people with one head and four legs- wait- one head and two legs, why do you get 10k a month? I hate you now. You definitely should not announce how much wealth you have. Don’t assume that the internet is such a safe place, and that people can’t find you. You’re online now and people can definitely find your IPA and location. This is dangerous. Not only online, don’t ever reveal your assets in any situation. There are unlawful people on the internet who use underhanded tactics to can find your information and scam or steal away your money. Let’s not look for bad luck, alright? When you go out just tell people you make 50RMB a month. Trick them into feeling sorry for you and giving you 20k instead. Don’t reveal your assets, no matter what. 

LYN: I saw a saying online, that I’ll share with you. It seems like it makes sense, but at the end you’ll think it doesn’t make any. There’s some reason in the nonsense. “If you use all your time to work, then you won’t have time to make money.” I don’t know if you’ve heard this before? After I heard it I thought it made a little sense. But I was also thinking, “If I don’t work, how will I make money??” I haven’t slept for three days, thinking about this saying. I can’t figure out what it means. C: Superfluous Literature (the art of saying nothing) LYN: I don’t think it is. There must be something behind this, but maybe it’s something only people with a higher level of understanding can make sense of. It’’s just... if you don’t work then where does the money come from? I’m guessing the person who said this must be well-off to begin with. They don’t want/need to work because their family gives them money to make their own businesses? There could be this type of logic behind it. I don’t know who said this to begin with, someone abroad I think. For me, my family didn’t have the money to give me to pursue my dreams so the only thing I could do to make money was to work.  C: Working and making money are two different things. LYN: That’s probably what they meant. Working and Making Money are different. Yes. But if you don’t work then how do you make money? It’s dumbfounding. Ning-ge needs to think on this and mature and maybe after another few years I’ll probably figure out what it means.  C: Working is just for “dead wages”. LYN: Not necessarily! - /talks about how, when he was working in the boutique he got 1200 a month, which is why he was jealous of that person earlier who said they make 1800. But on top of this, there is bonus gained from commission, quota, etc./ LYN: You can still make money from working. When you don’t have any other choice... I-... Forget it. /thinks/ No, I can say this. Just to share. Because I’ve met a lot of people who have a dream, something they want to do. Something they are really passionate about pursuing. If someone likes drawing, they’ll want to be an artist. But the problem is they’re close to starving, and then they count on their family for money to get food to eat.They pester their mom for money and only want to be an artist, and won’t consider anything else. I don’t know if this is the right thing to do or not. If it were me, I’d find some work and make sure I have the means to take care of myself first. There’s no point in pursuing your dreams if you can’t even support yourself. Get a job first. If you can’t even take responsibility for yourself and be independent of your family, how do you expect to accomplish anything? Get your affairs in order first, so that you can have the opportunity to make money later. Just don’t consider yourself above “small money” and stay static and waste away. If there’s work to do, just do it first. Please remember this. A lot of you may be getting ready to graduate college and enter society and are thinking that some jobs are belittling and you don’t want to take them. The problem is that the job you want may not want you. You have to make do with what’s available now. When you have better choices, you can move on to do better things. You just need to have stable footing first. Don’t expect to get anywhere when your feet aren’t on stable ground. It’s hard to make it to the top at the start. Make sure you have stable footing first. LYN: I was the same. I wanted to be a singer. I wanted to be a celebrity and never thought I would end up going to cooking school. I didn’t want to be a singer AFTER I was a cook, I’ve always wanted to be one. So why didn’t I stay at home and make a fuss, saying “I want to be a singer. I don’t want to be a cook or a waiter, and I don’t want to sell clothes.” Why didn’t I do that? Because I knew I couldn’t survive without it.

C: Ning-ge, can I be a part of your company? LYN: Oh, I see. Then our basic requirements for our employees are... I’m going to start interviewing you now. What are you expecting to make? If it’s over $10 then we don’t need to discuss any further. Our principle is that we let people who have just entered society come to our company so that they can learn things. I think young people aren’t afraid to waste time and are willing to try out in a variety of different industries, not afraid to fail. You can learn all sorts of things here and at some point when you have enough experience, your assets will follow. C: Is there food and living expenses? LYN: Let me tell anyone who has come with interest in the company some requirements. Please don’t think I’m a bad boss, this is just a matter of choice. If you can’t accept the terms, you can choose not to work here, but don’t call me dark. The first condition is that LYN Co. workers do not get paid a salary. You come here to learn, purely based on your own liking. If you want to come, come. If you don’t want to, then forget it. Secondly, we don’t have an office. You all work from home. There’s no opportunity to come to work, you just stay at home. // There’s no chance to see the boss and we don’t have any year-end gatherings or bonuses. You’re just here to learn. C: Our title? LYN: Your title is just “staff”; there are no positions. If you want to be security, you can call yourself security. If you want to make comments during my streams, you can call yourself a "comment-er”. If you share my new song with your friends, you’re a “sharer”. You choose what you want to do. C: Who would go if there’s no salary. LYN: Yeah, so then... don’t come. We’re not lacking in people right now anyway. It’s entirely up to you. C: Turns out I was already a part of it. LYN: See? You’re a part of my company and no one ever told you. It’s very simple to become part of my company, as long as you’re my fan, you’re in. Because I don’t have a company. C: Ning-ge, I want to go be the boss’ wife. LYN: Don’t say these things to scare me. If you keep with it, I’m going to dissolve the company. I’ll quit, too. Don’t use these words to scare me, please. I can’t take it. I’ll dissolve the company and run. Don’t be like this. Even if I have the sin of killing your father, it’s not worth such a form of payback. How much must you hate me, to want to be the boss’ wife? LYN: I said I would dissolve the company and run and I saw someone say, “ You want to elope with me?”

LYN: I know we have a low qualification requirement, but we still have basic mental health requirements. If you... have a mental illness, let’s not enter the company. We can’t take the responsibility, and it’s dangerous for the workers. We’re not accepting anyone who has mythomania, hallucinations, or violent tendencies. Why? Because it’s quite scary. I suggest you look into another company. Go ask around what other artists’ companies are lacking workers. C: People who don’t want to become the boss’ wife don’t make good employees. LYN: Don’t go around spreading this sort of false morality. You’ll influence a generation of young people. We have a lot of young girls who are in college here right now. When they graduate and get into a company, do you want them to be thinking about how to pursue their boss?? That’s really strange. What’s your worth, then? You spent three or four years in school, and for what? What sort of nonsense is “people who don’t want to become the boss’ wife don’t make good employees”??? Do you think this is an idol drama? The domineering CEO starts to love a normal employee? They don’t think anything of the arranged marriage their parents have set up for them with a well-off and good looking girl, but fall for the normal salary worker in their company? Love is love. It’s just that inexplicable. The employee liked to throw water in their face all the time, but love is love. Do you think your real life is like a drama? There’s no way.  LYN: Have you never heard of that drama called “Don’t Fall in Love With the Boss (Legally Romance)”? Have you not seen it? This is exactly the story line we’re talking about. 

C: Ning-ge, I can tell you’ve watched a lot of idol dramas. LYN: I have. I watched a lot when I was younger, but when I grew up I pretty much stopped. Let me tell you which ones I’ve watched- other than my own- I’ve seen You Who Came From Stars. LYN: Someone typed a bunch of question marks into the chat and asked, “You act in idol dramas?” There was a question mark after these five words. Friends, let’s... let’s examine this. They typed this into the chat. /puts it up on screen/ Let’s examine why they would ask this question in such a way. There’s a couple ways we could in interpret this: The first is “Ning-ge, you’re willing to act in an idol drama? You would go for it? I thought you wanted to act in more manlier roles/dramas.” This is from an acting perspective. They second you already know without me needing to spell it out, right? The second is, /in disbelief/ “YOU act in idol dramas? Huh? You. In an idol drama. You, as an idol... in a drama?” See? Every space you put between the words gives it a different meaning, but no matter which way you cut it it’s full of skepticism. /sigh/

LYN: I almost forgot. I released another song recently, called 爱是不放手 (Love is to Not Let Go, Almost Lover OST). Wait- why do I look so dumb? Look at this- What’s wrong with this expression? My face is so round. This expression here is showing three words: “I am sad.”

LYN: Why? Why is it like this? This picture is alright. I look like a normal human being. A lively young man.

LYN: This one is a little too fake. This was taken before one of my concerts.

LYN:  Every time I see pictures of myself from back then I want to thank the fans I had who followed me from then until now. They truly didn’t look at appearances. They were completely drawn in by my talents alone. When I see myself I think I looked like a “pig-faced mountain”. 

C: Ning-ge, I am completely one of your song-fans through and through. LYN: Thank you. But I hope that when my drama airs, you can take a look at it too.

C: Bai Choufei won an award. LYN: I actually think that’s a rare/uncommon occurrence. Because BCF isn’t a character who would have fans- he’s a villain, but not one that garners fans. They all say that “If the man is not bad, women won’t like him.” But I don’t think it’s proper to use this expression on BCF. I think that if you became a fan of me through BCF, then your taste is on the higher side; you saw into BCF’s soul. People rarely get that and if you can, then I’m sure you are a person who is not wary of others. LYN: I think, even if you are just a supporting character, to be remembered and liked by the audience is something that makes me very happy. I mean remembering the role, and not the actor. Even though the actor IS LYN. As an actor, I only have four dramas out. If we’re going to pick out which drama aired the best and which brought me the most fans, it’s going to be Hao Du. I know a lot of people got to know me through Hei Yanjing, but they didn’t necessarily like me, and even could have hated me. This role didn’t really attract a lot of fans. So Hao Du brought me the most fans, but it’s already been two years since The Long Ballad has aired. So for me, having been known for only one good work in these two years, it’s normal that people still don’t acknowledge me and my acting. When people question me and think I don’t deserve it, I can understand where they’re coming from. Because I’ve only got four dramas that have aired.  LYN: I’m already lucky. The role of Hei Yanjing was because the character and base novel is already very amazing, which people to get to know me. But The Long Ballad was only my third drama, and already people got to know me from it. I’m very lucky. How many actors out there have been acting for YEARS and still don’t have that breakout role? It’s hard. Hao Du gave me a lot, and a lot of people got to know me through him. LYN: So I totally understand when people question and refuse to acknowledge me. They don’t acknowledge me, but I acknowledge them. I agree with them, because I only have four dramas out and in those four I was only just a supporting character. I wanted to play supporting roles because I wanted my career as an actor to be a long one. I could have directly signed onto a main lead role if I wanted to, if it were a smaller project. But I think that would be irresponsible of me, and irresponsible to the viewers. I had to start with supporting roles, so I had a clue what acting was all about first. Take it one step at a time.  LYN: I understand when people can’t or won’t acknowledge me and I can agree with their thinking. My fans know that, including YNGS, I have only fie dramas waiting to air and in them I’m mostly supporting. YNGS is almost over, and when I enter my next drama I’ll have six dramas in the waiting. These few years I’ve always been working, non-stop. They’re all supporting roles, but they still take three-four months all the same.

C: Then.. I hope they air soon. LYN: Honestly, I’m not in a rush for them to air. I want them to wait.. and then air seven in a single year. I wouldn’t be the main lead in all of them, but think about it: seven dramas in one year and they all feature LYN. How terrifying would that be? C: Ning-ge, if that’s the case then you can cameo in a lot more dramas. LYN: What you mean by that is that I should get in contact with every open crew and ask them if I could go cameo? That way each year I can feature in tens of dramas. That’s a little... unnecessary. I only go to cameo in dramas because I am very good friends with the actors/director/producer. Otherwise.. I already have my own work to do, why would I go cameo?

C: Ning-ge, being a supporting actor is also very good. LYN: ... Are you trying to convince me? Are you even my fan?? Even if that were the truth, you shouldn’t be telling that to me NOW. As someone just starting out in this industry, isn’t it a good thing to set your sights higher? Just like my fans earlier who wanted to be LYN’s company’s boss’ wife. Isn’t that also setting your sights high? Is it unrealistic? I don’t want to only play supporting roles- I also wish the day would come where I stand at the front of the stage as a main lead. Is it wrong? No, right? LYN: Friends, I’m just a child in his tens (x3). I JUST finished acting as the male lead in a guzhuang drama, and someone told me it’s find if I keep playing supporting roles. Do you know how much that hurts?! /fake cries/ LYN: /sighs/ How painful. Actually everyone who lives in the jianghu one day dreams of becoming a general. I am no exception. I believe that there will come a day, I will be... Oh, no. I shouldn’t mess around with this. I can’t get it out. That’s not important. LYN: Is there something wrong with calling myself a “child in his tens”, friends? C: Ning-ge, don’t cry. Your makeup will run. LYN: Why would I cry? Why would I cry, when I don’t even have the time to be happy? I went through so much to get to this point in my life and someone told me I’d be better off acting in supporting roles. I want to tell this person- the only feeling I have towards this, which is- Heh. How damning. Those words are really evil. C: A broadcast drama. LYN: No, I don’t dare to. These lines are just basic. Please don’t go out and praise my recitation of lines or my acting. Just don’t praise me at all. Everyone knows I am a singer who’s gone into acting, so they don’t hold much expectation for me. This is my opportunity to surprise them so that they think I’m not actually too bad at it. But if you praise me too much and then they see me, I will have failed to meet their expectations. Please don’t go around praising my acting or my lines. My lines... are really just basic and I hope that all my good friends can remember this. LYN: No, really. Don’t go around praising me/pushing me on people. I don’t think there’s any meaning in doing that. The viewers aren’t blind- they can all see. If you say “Ning-ge’s Northeastern dialect is so good” then that’s fine and I can live up to that. But I can’t live up to “Ning-ge’s says his lines so well” so you don’t need to praise me for it. 

C: LYN, do you use inversion when you speak? LYN: Sometimes, but it’s not a construction I am used to using.

C: When will you leave to film? LYN: In Hengdian it gets dark around 5:30p, so I just need to get to set by then.

C: Ning-ge, as long as we have an interesting topic, we can chat for hours. LYN: Yeah, that’s how it works.

C: Shandong people like to use inversion. LYN: Do they? I very rarely meet people from Shandong. But my ancestors are from Shandong, that’s why I’m so tall. // But I’m a Liaoning, Dandong person.

C: Have you eaten? LYN: I are breakfast but not lunch. I’ll probably order some takeout and then have a nap and I’ll be ready to work at night. 

C: From where in Shandong? LYN: I forget. It’s not important. We’re all from Shandong, and that’s good enough. 

C: What’s on the chair? LYN: This chair? What’s it to you? I need to tell you all about my house furnishings? It has nothing to do with you, so don’t ask.  LYN: No, I bought a vest. I had wanted to wear it, but I don’t think I can, now. It’s like those bulletproof vests you wear when playing games. It was cheap and I bought it to wear during games but ... yeah. // I can wear it during a stream at some point.

LYN: The last time I came to stream I was wearing a white wig, do you remember? Most of the time after I finish up with work I don’t have the time to come home and make myself presentable. So I think wearing a wig is quite nice. I went online and bought four more, just about the same style as the white one. I bought four different colors. Later when I stream and I’m not wearing the drama wig like this, I’ll put on one of those wigs. I’ll have one for four different streams and then rotate. It’s too cool. I bought a pink one. I’ll be a handsome young kid. Very fashionable. I bought a pink one, a red one, and two other colors but I forget.  C: Green? LYN: No, there were colors that weren’t too positive, so I didn’t buy them. - /suddenly breaks into song/ LYN: This song is very non-mainstream, isn’t it. Honestly- who wasn’t? I want to know, those of you around my age, didn’t we all have that phase? I was like that too, once. I also kept long hair. C: This song had a Chinese version? LYN: Yeah! There was a song called “Lonely”, have you heard of it? It was one word, repeated.

LYN:  午夜电台? What’s that? Is it this song? - C: Ning-ge, weren’t you born after the 00′s? LYN: Yeah, and? A “child in his tens”, that’s me.  -  LYN: I don’t think this is the right song. There used to be one called 午夜DJ, have you heard of it? --  午夜DJ (Late Night DJ) C: How silly. LYN: What are you saying? This song is so nice. It’s the music we all grew up on back then. People shouldn’t forget their beginnings, friends. C: Ning-ge, I’m not connected to the speakers, play it. LYN: What do you mean? I played that song and you didn’t want others to hear what was playing on your phone? This song is that embarrassing? That’s unwarranted, isn’t it? No, right?? C: Ning-ge, if that’s the case, play something even more humbling. LYN: No, not a more humbling song, but a song that can make THEM feel even more embarrassed. It’s not that the music itself is bad. I really like this music. What should I play? --  2002年的第一场雪 (The First Snow of 2002) LYN: No, this one isn’t right. Something that can make them feel embarrassed... this one. -- 皇上吉祥 (Emperor’s Favour) LYN: Let me see if there’s an accompaniment and I can sing it myself. LYN: How is it? Is it good enough? Do you enjoy this type of music? Doesn’t it have that feeling? Is it captivating enough? Huh? I’m hyped. No matter who hears this song, they’ll be dumbfounded. [t/n: it’s a song abt earning the emperor’s favor and becoming his seventh wife.]

LYN: Alright, that’s about enough friends. If you still haven’t subscribed to my weibo, please do so. When I have the chance to stream again, you’ll be able to come watch. Thanks for all your company and support today. I still have filming to do at night so I’m going to eat a little something and then take a nap and continue to work.  LYN: This afternoon you  all have given me company and I hope I was able to keep you company as well, and give you a little bit of happiness. I want you all to be happy. I hope you had a relaxing and wonderful weekend. I am happy to have had you today and hope the rest of your day goes well. Let’s meet again in the next stream. Goodnight, everyone.

-- /closes out with  意气趁年少/ LYN: I might have a performance in a few days where I’m going to sing this song. I’m testing out if I can still sing it.  LYN: Alright, goodnight everyone. Bye bye.

[latinokaeya-moving]

actually speaking of now that i’m home i can finally post this. check it out. heh 😏

[whosblackcat]

mini thread abt how to help riize & seunghan + info 🩷🫧

note & warning: please don’t engage with ANY content of riize, for example don’t comment in their tiktoks saying “riize is 7” even if your intention is good, it breaks the purpose of the boycott!!

mass report sm's US office!! you can report using the template in the link attached in the tweet or via email!! email: hrus@smtown.com

riize boycott version (mv, songs, shows, etc.)

reporting to korea’s human rights foundation site: koreahumanrights.org

sm will pull fake scandals to distract our attention from the matter, for example as they did with sungchan yesterday! don’t believe anything, exols warned us

tweet the trending tags on twitter!! big official fan accounts always share which ones we have to use

don't buy or watch anything related to riize & sm, we’re boycotting

don’t interact with any post of sm and riize even if it’s to use the tags or supporting the boys, we’re boycotting

all the info of what did one of the persons who sent the death wreaths

ot6 are complaining to the police & government abt the displays and flowers for seunghan in front of the sm building, and according to this person now it's not possible to put them in commercial facilities

sm is buying followers and likes due to the impact of the boycott

ot6 are monitoring every movement and project in every language and reporting them. @/RIIZEUSACENTRE kofi was reported because of them while raising trucks money

seunghan's leaked photo with his girlfriend was leaked by hybe

riize is seven movement schedule. day 1 october 28th

mass review 1 star to all sm facilities on google maps (note: they’re deleting the bad reviews but we have to keep going)

hybes’s ceo lee jae sang issues apology letter for the ‘music industry report’ document (a sorry is not enough after destroying hsh life & career)

seunghan town will be removed due to ot6 reports and company that they reported the project, causing making hard getting the needed permits

pineapple manager passed in front of the protest today, he def saw the protest

manager passed in front of the protest again, they know what’s going on

manager passed in front of the protest for the third time, and tomorrow is the meeting

riize is seven movement schedule november 6th

there’s a very popular lawyer who has won a case against sm before that right now is representing fans

riize doesn't have any schedule, comeback or tour for the first quarter of 2025. the boycott is working, keep going!

riize lost 200k monthly listeners on spotify

this is all the info i found and i wanted to spread it here too, so thanks and credits to all the ppl on twitter!! if i find more relevant info i’ll keep updating this post. please share it 🫶🏻 (note: english isn't my first language, sorry for any mistakes in my grammar)

little motivation and some twitter accounts that organize projects/give info below the cut! 🩷

— some good info twitter accs:

@/RIIZEUSACENTRE @/SEVENRIIZE @/RIIZE_EUROPE @/PROTECT_RIIZE @/Seunghan_USA

— little motivation:

kbriize are holding face to face protests and fanbases hired an attorney. boycott properly if you don't want all the effort to be wasted! remember, boycotting takes time

"The group nearly disbanded in September of 2001, after Park Joon-hyung was discovered to be in a relationship. Their management announced, without informing him or the members, that he was to leave the group and they'd continue as 4, but it was met with strong objection from fans, who repeatedly signed petitions and threatened to boycott concerts and the company. Danny, Kyesang, Hoyoung and Taewoo held their own press conference, without the knowledge of their management, to show their support for Joon. After two months of disagreements, their company eventually backed down and allowed Joon to be in the group." if joon returned to the group after two months of protests, complains and boycott, we can bring back seunghan!! the key is persistence. please don't give up and keep fighting for his rights and justice!!

[sensitive-neuvi-enthusiast]

You're his favorite show (2)

Choso is determined to win that one on one with you. Even going as far as to deny his own pleasure.

Divider: @rookthornesartistry

Content: fem!reader, reader is a camgirl, self pleasure (choso, reader), overstim (Choso), denial mentioned (also choso), pretties (readers name for followers) sex toys(vibrator, faux cock), lots of cum, parasocial behavior forming

Wc: 1.2k

Part one, Part Three

His stomach muscles tensed, another load of cum landing on his tummy as he watched you. Keeping one finger on the heart button, spamming them as quickly as he could. He needed to win. He had to. His finger was cramping, screaming from the awkward position he had it in, but he ignored all pain, all discomfort. Choso had told himself, after your announcement, that he was going to ignore his cock. Even if it was hard, leaking, the tip a flushed red. He would ignore it. And he had, his sole focus was pressing that heart over and over again. He would win if he did this, he was sure of it.

“Gonna make a pretty mess for me?” He heard you purr, your form leaning back in the chair as you held a small bullet vibrator to your clit. He felt like you were speaking directly to him and he'd never deny you. A glob of saliva was immediately spit onto his hand, wrapping around his length. Which is how he ended up coming four times, his hand still stroking his soft cock as he watched you. Twitching with sensitivity.

Fuck. He'd never forgive himself if he lost his one chance to talk to you in private because he couldn't resist you.

Even so, he never stopped pressing the heart. And he continued until your back arched, your arousal coating the toy. Funny how he started to harbor hatred and jealousy towards that little thing. He watched your naked chest rise and fall, a thin layer of sweat covering your skin. Subconsciously, he licked his lips. “Mmm…”you hummed, thumb searching for the button to turn off the toy. And when you pulled it away, he audibly groaned. Watching as a string of slick still connected you to the head of the vibrator. “I see lots of hearts here, pretties. You're gonna make it difficult to choose a winner.” you giggled, sitting forward a little as you scrolled. He held his breath as he awaited the verdict, his dick lying limp against his stomach. He'd clean himself up later.

“Hmmm, it seems that three of you spent and sent the same amount. Megadaddy00, callmepapa, and princ3charming.” His heart thumped when you addressed him but it clenched too, they'd all sent the same amount?

“Guess I'll have to choose,” you gave a pout to your lips. “Sorry pretties, I didn't expect three people to spend..” you looked at the amount, “$1,000 each.” Had he really spent that much? Choso was paying little attention. It's okay, he'd just take extra shifts. “How about this, give me three days mmkay? I'll announce the winner then.”

He would wait. For eternity if he had to, for you.

The next three days passed painfully slow. Especially since longer hours at work meant less time checking your social media. Your website. Anything for an update. He knew you said three days but, isn't he the obvious choice? He didn't want to wait anymore. So when he got home that day, he quickly made his way into his room. Not even bothering to take note of the ‘late rent’ note on the door. You were doing another show tonight. The answer had to come now.

He shrugged off his clothes, settling into bed, pulling out his laptop. As soon as he joined, so did you, your pretty face appearing on his screen.

“Hello, pretties. Thank you for being so patient. I know how much you wanna know who won.” Millions of messages popped up in the corner but he was too focused on you. He couldn't even bring himself away enough to tell you how pretty you looked again today. “I won't draw it out for much longer, the winner is….princ3charming!” You giggled, resting your elbows (and tits) on the table's surface. Did you just say…he won? All the blood drained from his face. His hands shook. Was this really happening?

“I'll call you privately after today's show to set up a time.”

Choso didn't think his heart could beat any louder than what it was currently doing. Thumping harshly against his chest.

Once more, Choso was left panting and sweaty. A mess of cum sitting on his tummy as his hazy eyes watched you. Even more excited now that he knew he'd get to see you. One on one. Talk to you, watch you. A show only for him. Fuck, the thought alone was enough to make him hard again. His spit covered palm slid up and down his length, leaving a mess clinging to his balls. You came too, your pretty pussy spasming around the faux cock you'd been thrusting in and out of you. A shiny sheen of liquid coated the toy when you slipped it out. You hummed, bringing it to your lips. Licking your own arousal off the toy.

“Fuck…fuck…” He whispered, stroking his dick even though it protested, leaving him to come very little. Choso was surprised his balls weren't completely drained yet.

“Thank you for joining, Pretties. And princ3charming? I'll be contacting you soon.” You gave your signature blow kiss before ending it. Choso was left with his mess, eyes glued to the screen as he waited. He wanted to clean up, but what if he missed your call while he did that? Choso couldn't risk it. So he sat in an uncomfortable mess of cum. A small chime came from his laptop, your small picture popping up in the middle.

Holy shit. He looked around nervously, teeth sinking into his lip as he pressed accept. It was just a voice call but fuck, he felt like he could pass out.

“Hello, princ3charming,” you cooed. And he didn't know how it was possible but his dick gave an excited twitch. “Hi…” God his voice sounded rough, scratchy. “Congratulations on your big win! When would you like to accept your prize?” More than anything, he wanted to say right now. To get to watch you lose yourself again. Making a mess that only he could see. But with one look at his poor, trying its best to harden dick, he thought against it. “Tomorrow…?”

“Tomorrow is perfect, around 8 work for you?” He nodded then mentally slapped himself since he knew you couldn't see him. “Yes…it's fine.”

“Wonderful, I'll see you then pretty.” His face heated and his dick jumped, again. And he could feel that you were going to hang up. “Wait!” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I made a mess…like you wanted.” Please be proud of him. Praise him. He loves you so much. You chuckled, “Did you now? You can show me firsthand tomorrow.” He heard a click before the call disconnected. Fuck. It was starting to get painful now, how badly his erection wanted to rise with need. But he couldn't, his poor cock was overused.

This wouldn't do. He needed to be ready for you. To show you, like you'd asked. Which means he'll have to hold off on touching himself until eight. No morning jerk offs to your video or imagining you riding him until you made a mess of him instead of those lackluster toys.

Tomorrow? He'd truly make you notice him.

Taglist: @adanfore, @matchafroggies724, @sabo-has-my-heart

[multbasa]

If you've gotten a game early illegally, then don't post about it online.

Not only is it annoying for people who are waiting until the official release to see leaks and spoilers, it puts emulators at risk as what happened to Yuzu.

Emulation is built on shaky legal ground and it continues to exist because of legal arguments such as aging hardware and software are no longer supported or sold by the company that produced them. This argument doesn't exist for new or unreleased hardware or software which is why Nintendo absolutely nuked Yuzu from orbit because they were profiting off of an unreleased brand new title, sharing the ROMs on Discord and selling an updated version of the emulator specifically to pirate that new game.

The bottom line is:

Stop giving companies legal grounds to sue emulation developers

Emulation is great for preserving old games because the official hardware and physical software breaks down over time. I WANT emulation to exist so I have the ability to continue to play old games that I loved, but people who pirate new games and especially unreleased games put emulation at risk. They paint a target on the back of emulation and give large companies like Nintendo legal grounds to attack that emulator.

Got a game early? Pirating it through an emulator? Keep your mouth shut.

I don't care how much you hate Nintendo or any other company, you're just shooting yourself in the foot by drawing their attention to things that are barely considered legal.

There used to be a ROM site for DS games which Nintendo got taken down because they were using Nintendo's official artwork on the site. Yuzu was profiting off of pirating TotK before it even released and all the kiddies online were bragging and making shots at Nintendo before Nintendo sued the Yuzu team for millions and even had their other DS emulator shut down by association.

Why don't people fight Nintendo in court instead of settle? Because Nintendo had legal grounds to sue and legitimate proof of damages and profit by Yuzu. Not to mention the lawsuit would have put emulation in a worse legal position if Nintendo won and they likely would have won in that case.

People are so short-minded and ignorant these days that they have no idea how anything works yet they continue to poke the bear. You can't hide behind the legal argument that emulation preserves old software that companies no longer produce while also bragging about pirating games from day one or earlier.

Suck up the arrogance and go incognito. It's better for the community who haven't gotten to play the game yet, and it's better for the emulation scene because companies like Nintendo will have less concrete grounds to sue.

Also don't publicly boast about pirating in Discord chats especially if you're part of an emulation team. They're not private. I can't believe people these days don't understand that. Very few places online are truly private if there are any at all, so don't incriminate yourself. Don't profit off of new or unreleased software especially so publicly, and get off the high horse, it is made of hay and twigs and can barely stand upright.

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 44

Synopsis : Em and reader talk about the possibility of him retiring.

Author’s Note : hi guys 🌟. It’s been a while since I last updated Recovery. Here is a new chapter. I hope you guys like it ❤️.

You looked at Marshall, completely flabbergasted. You expected him to tell you it was a joke, that he wasn’t seriously thinking about retirement, but he looked awfully serious.

- You… you want to retire ?! You asked carefully.

- I’m thinking about it, he said. Look, babe… I’ve achieved everything I wanted when I first started. I gained respect. I worked with the people I admire most. I put out great music, I’ve toured the world, I’ve won awards… I made a fuck ton of money, that my grandchildren and even their children will benefit from. And let’s be honest : I’m fifty-two. It’s not stupid to think about retirement.

You looked at him intently, taking in everything he said. Sure, it made sense, on some level. But it also felt wrong. And weird. The man you met and fell in love with put music first and foremost, was a workaholic and would never have thought of retirement as an option. He had often joked about it, sure, especially in moments of frustration, but never in earnest. You sighed and held his hand.

- I know it makes sense, you said softly. But I know music is everything to you. And I know that you’re in a shitty situation right now, but maybe there are changes you could make ? Adjustments ?

- Sounds like something Paul would say, he chuckled. I don’t know. I’m just considering it. I often toy with the idea of disappearing from the public. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone forgot about me ? Like, not my music, but just me ? I’d be able to go places, enjoy life.

- I’m sure we can still do that, you said.

- You know, if I retired, it could benefit you as well, he pointed out. I’d have more time. Maybe be less of a grumpy asshole.

- I can’t imagine you not making music, you said.

- I’ll always have ideas, he said. It’s in my DNA at this point. But I don’t know… maybe be more of a producer ? Again, I’m just thinking, here.

- Whatever you decide, I’ll support you, you said. I love you no matter what. I just want you to be happy.

- As long as I have you, I’ll be happy, he assured you.

He pulled you to him and kissed you lovingly. You enjoyed the sunset for a minute and drove back to the house. You were about to watch a movie when you heard a knock on the door. It was Paul.

- What are you doing here ? Marshall greeted him curtly.

- Checking in on you, the manager said. You’re not answering anyone’s calls. How are you doing ?

- You know how I’m doing, he replied dryly.

- Still mad at me ? Paul asked.

- Yeah. Let me in so we can talk ?

Marshall let him in silently and sat on the couch and Paul greeted you. You were not too sure why Marshall was mad at him, though. As far as you knew, the manager hadn’t done anything wrong. You weren’t his biggest fan but you secretly hoped he would talk some sense into your boyfriend. You meant every word when you said you would be there for him no matter what, but you couldn’t imagine him retiring. Not when it came from a place of frustration and disappointment. Had he told you his inspiration had run dry, things would have been different, but this wasn’t the case and you knew it.

- I know what Tracy did is hard to swallow, Paul said tentatively.

- It’s not about Tracy, Marshall said. I mean, it is. But a full severance package… Really ?! She fucked me over, Paul. Not only me but Y/N, too. And you as well.

- You might want to let me explain, the manager said calmly.

- Yeah, your boyfriend scoffed. I’d love to know why you let her leave Shady Records with a fuckton of money and benefits for a whole year.

- She threatened to sue, his friend said.

- Sue who ? Marshall said heatedly. Us ? She’s the one who leaked the track ! She’s the one who put my career and my relationship in jeopardy ! Why the fuck would she sue us ?!?!

- Not us, Paul hummed. Y/N.

- Me ?! You asked in shock.

You were taken aback. First of all, Marshall hadn’t mentioned Paul affording Tracy tons of benefits when letting her go. Though, now that you thought about it, it further explained his bad mood. And second of all… threatening to sue you ?! That woman had some nerve. Yes, you had « broken her nose » (as far as you thought, it was just a punch) but suing… really ?

- That’s ridiculous, you scoffed.

- Is it ? Paul hummed. You did assault her !

- Don’t talk to her like that, Marshall said defensively as he protectively wrapped an arm around you.

- Merely stating facts, Paul shrugged. I understand the anger, Y/N. As I understand yours, Marshall. But the thing is, Tracy threatened to sue and I had to make the best decision. For the business and for you personally. Both of you. It’s better to lose a couple of hundred of thousands of dollars than to have to deal with unwanted media attention.

- Thank you, Paul, you said with genuine gratefulness.

- Thanks, man, Marshall said more calmly.

- I’m as pissed as you are, Paul said. But now we have to move forward. We’ll find a replacement eventually. It will probably take two people, but we’ll make it work.

- Did she do that much ? You asked.

- She did, Marshall said. Both as my assistant and Paul’s right hand.

- I have already contacted a head-hunter, we will soon have profiles to review, the manager said. In the meantime, I’m handling things.

- You can hire someone to assist you, but I’m not getting a personal assistant, Marshall declared.

The way he said it definitely seemed solemn and definitive. His manager looked at him calmly, much like a parent looks at a stubborn child.

- You don’t exactly have a choice, Paul tried to reason. You need someone to help you. I can’t do it all.

- I don’t care, Marshall groaned. You really think I’m going to let someone in again ? Have them around my house ? My kids ? Y/N ?! No way, bro. I’d rather manage my schedule myself. If there’s one to manage, that is.

You expected the manager to have some sort of big reaction but he didn’t. In fact, he didn’t even seemed phased by the possibility that Marshall considered retirement as a serious option after all the events that had unfolded.

- It’s only been a week, Paul finally said after a few seconds of silence.

- I know, Marshall replied. But after what happened… maybe it’s a sign. You know as much as i do that we need people we can trust.

- And you know as much as I do that you can’t decide to stop everything right now, the manager replied. Look… if you need to take a step back, that’s fine. But we still have obligations. Both towards artists you’re collaborating with, as well as promoting the album. The music video shoot at the bare minimum.

- Right, Marshall said. When is that again ?

- Late January, Paul said. Look… here’s what we’re going to do : you’re going to take some rest, enjoy the holidays. I’m cancelling your scheduled studio sessions until January. And I’m not adding anything to your schedule either. But we have to proceed with what’s been planned already.

- I guess, Marshall replied gloomily. Thanks, man.

They spent a couple of minutes talking about the aforementioned music video. You hadn’t heard about the plans to film one previously but, apparently, Track 12 - the song Marshall had written for you - having turned into a fan favorite quickly after the album release, his team had suggested making a music video. The whole plan had been made since before his tour, with a script already being finalized, casting being done and everything. In truth, the whole thing made you uneasy. People might not connect the dots and associate that song to you but the most recent events made you a bit nervous. You loved the track, it was beautiful. But you also knew that him making a music video would give the song and his personal life that much more attention.

- Are you ok ? Marshall asked as he grabbed your hand. You look like you zoned out for a minute.

- I’m thinking, that’s all, you hummed.

- About what ? Marshall asked.

- Obviously, it’s not my place to tell you what to do, but… do you really want to do this ? You shyly asked. I know people love this song. God knows I love it too but… it’s personal business.

- I know, he said softly. But I’m proud of this track. I think it’s one of the best I’ve ever made. So… if I have to make one last music video, it might as well be this one. Plus, we’ve had the script for ages. I can swear it is tasteful and it’s going to be great.

- Not to mention that we’ve already spent a lot of money on making this happen, Paul hummed.

- Yeah, that too, Marshall shrugged.

- Right, you said flatly.

- I’ll show you the script, your boyfriend offered. And since it might be my last-

- Nothing’s set in stone yet, the manager recalled. You take a break and we’ll see then.

- Whatever, Marshall said. All I’m saying is… I’ll make sure it’s perfect. You can even come on set with me.

- We’ll see, you said nervously.

He nodded and pressed a kiss to your temple before going back to his conversation with Paul. They discussed some plans that had been made for the beginning of the upcoming year, some work trips, collaborations. And even though the manager understood Marshall’s wish of possibly taking a step back, he was adamant that they hire an assistant.

- We won’t need one if it’s for six months, Marshall hummed.

- I don’t think you realize everything that needs to be done, Paul groaned. I won’t have the time to assist you in everything. And last time I checked, you needed a lot of help in managing your schedule. I’m your manager and business partner, I don’t have time to be your mother, Marshall.

- Don’t treat me like a kid, man.

- Then don’t act like a bratty one, Paul said. You need someone to help you and you know it.

- No I don’t !

- The arrangements for your upcoming trips to NYC and Hawaii didn’t plan themselves, the manager argued. Neither did your medical appointments in the last twenty years. Or any of your work meetings. And don’t get me started in everything that needs to be done when you’re on a set.

- Whatever, Marshall groaned. The only people I would trust besides my immediate family are in this room : me, you, and Y/N. I’m not hiring a fucking stranger.

- For all I care, you could hire Y/N, Paul snapped. My point is : we have work to do, and I’m not letting Tracy’s departure ruin it. Neither should you.

Marshall groaned and mumbled something. His stance was defensive and he clearly didn’t want to be having this conversation. Months ago, you wouldn’t have expected to see eye to eye with Paul on anything, but there you were. Until Paul brought your name in the conversation, that is.

- Maybe you could step up to the plate, Y/N, Paul said.

- I don’t know how to say this but… no, you said. Don’t get me wrong, I want you guys to succeed. But find someone else.

- Look, it’s not a very hard job-, Paul started.

- With all due respect, Paul, I’m a scholar, you said. I’ve worked hard for my degree and, though I understand you mean well, the perspective of making coffee and appointments for Marshall is below me.

- Fine, Paul sighed. I’ll send you some profile of possible candidates, Marshall. And if you don’t choose someone by early January, I will.

- Great, Marshall said.

- Until then, I have handled your travel arrangements for next week and Christmas, he added. You’re welcome.

- Thanks man, your boyfriend said. I appreciate it.

Paul got up and grabbed his jacket, preparing to leave. Before crossing the threshold, he turned to you.

- Take care of him, will you ?

- I will, you said with a smile. Thanks, Paul.

- Good luck with him, he added with a chuckle.

As he left, you felt Marshall’s arms wrap around you and he buried his face in your neck.

- He’s annoying, he said.

- So are you, you hummed.

- Really ? He asked.

- You’re stubborn.

- It’s my life, I can do whatev-

- He cares about you, you said.

- Since when do you defend Paul ? He asked with a groan.

- Since I agree with him, you said as you ran your fingers through his hair. You shouldn’t let Tracy ruin things for you. Besides, I’m grateful he avoided a lawsuit.

- She wouldn’t have, Marshall shrugged. Simply wanted more money, I guess.

- Anyway… you didn’t tell me you planned on traveling, you hummed as you changed the subject.

- Because baldy ruined the surprise, Marshall said. I made plans for us to spend a couple of days in New York next week. To do some Christmas shopping. And after Christmas, we’re flying to Hawaii. Spending New Year’s Eve just the two of us.

- Really ?! You asked. Oh my God, you’re the best !

You turned and engulfed him in a hug. He gave you a smile and kissed you lovingly.

- I figured you’d enjoy it, he said with a grin.

- Christmas shopping in New York ! You shrieked. Do you do this every year ?

- Absolutely not, he chuckled. But you’re always watching these corny movies, so I thought you’d enjoy it. Plus, seeing as my kids think I’m a monster… I should probably suck up to them with presents.

- They don’t think you’re a monster, you argued. They love you.

- You should have seen the intervention when that track leaked, he sighed. I know they love me but I can tell they’re disappointed. I really want to make it up to them for the holidays.

You nodded and kissed him, promising that your first Christmas together with his family would be great. You wanted nothing more than for him to have a good time and, hopefully, he would go back to work in a few weeks feeling more like himself and energized.

A FEW DAYS LATER - MARSHALL’S POV

They had spend the next days planning their first holidays together. Christmas was approaching and they wanted to make it count. Marshall could tell Y/N wanted to cheer him up and, as for him, he could feel that not being on talking terms with her Dad was getting to her. Whether it was with his family or just the two of them, he wanted to make sure she would have the perfect Christmas she deserved. And if it meant putting up with his girl humming All I Want For Christmas and watching countless crappy movies, so be it. Same for decorating the house. He was usually a bit grumpy around the holidays, what with his childhood and everything. If it weren’t for his loved ones, he probably wouldn’t make a fuss about it but as long as they were happy, he didn’t mind putting up with the whole folklore. And the perspective of seeing his girl all giddy and excited when she’d admire the Christmas lights in NYC was pretty nice. He was packing his bag for the next day when he received a call from Kim, who asked if she could swing by his place to talk. He thought she wanted to coordinate with him for their daughters’ presents, but she specified that they needed to be alone. It was a little suspicious but he told her to come by anyway, since Y/N was spending the day with Talia and Jamal.

- What’s up, Kim? He asked as she entered the house. Everything alright ?

- All good, she said with a smile. I came to give you your Christmas present.

- You haven’t given me a present in fifteen years, he stated matter-of-factly. Also… it’s not Christmas yet.

- I couldn’t give it to you with other people around.

He raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to elaborate. She just smiled and handed him an envelope.

- What’s this ? He asked.

- You’ve looked out for me since we were fifteen, she said. This is me looking out for you.

He frowned, not exactly seeing what she was getting at. He opened the envelope and, much to his surprise, he found divorce papers.

- What’s that ? He asked.

- Your passport to freedom, she said with a smile. I saw how happy you are with Y/N, at Thanksgiving. She’s good for you. You even told me she’s the love of your life.

- She is, he nodded. She really is. I don’t know how she does it, but she manages to put up with my shit. And she makes me happy.

- So we agree that it doesn’t make sense to stay married to me, she simply stated. I knew you’d never ask me for a divorce, so I’m doing it. I don’t want you to have regrets.

- I’ll never regret marrying you a third time, he hummed. I did what I had to do for you and the kids. You needed me.

- And now you need to think about yourself, she said with a smile. And we both know you can’t be fully happy with her if you’re still secretly married to me.

- I guess you’re right, he agreed. Are you sure, though ?

- I’m good, she assured him. I’m not going to lie, it’s weird. But I’m sober. I’m healthy. I don’t need your help anymore. And as soon as you sign these papers, you’re free. I mean, there’s still a procedure but… it’s our third divorce, so you know how it works.

He chuckled and nodded before looking at the divorce papers again. He was touched by Kim’s kindness. She really was looking out for him. Still, it was bittersweet. Keeping this secret from everyone in his life had been tough but, on some level, it was hard to let go. She seemed to pick up on it right away.

- You know you’ll still have to put up with me, right, old man ? She joked.

- Yeah, I know, he said with a smile. It’s weird, that’s all.

- I was a lousy wife anyway, she chuckled. You won’t miss it.

- And I was a bad husband, he continued.

- Not the third time around, she remarked. This marriage has been pretty peaceful.

- For you, yeah, he grinned. I still put you through rehab and lost sleep over you for a while.

- Shut up, she giggled as she rolled her eyes. I’m trying to be a good wife, here.

- You are, he said emotionally as he brought her into a hug. It’s the nicest thing you’ve done for me.

They hugged each other tightly. It was clearly emotional for the both of them. She was right : he never would have asked for a divorce, but he was grateful that she did. He kissed her cheek and went to put the papers in his office.

- I’ll get you a good divorce settlement, he said. It’s the least I can do.

- You’ve done enough, she said. But thanks.

- Promise me you’ll take care ?

- Promise, she said with a smile. Promise me you won’t fuck it up ?

- Promise, he said. Enough fuck ups. I really though I’d lost her when that track leaked, you know ?

- I bet, she said. But I was happy for you when Hailie told me she came back and forgave you.

- Yeah. We’re working through it but we’re good. She deserves an award for supporting me and putting up with everything I’ve done, Marshall said.

- I think there’s one, she chuckled. It’s called an engagement ring.

[lvngdnxgallifrey]

[3.8 leaks]

I really won life with this 3.8 update, bless

[komitomi]

Fateful Encounter. // Prologue.

Neteyam × F!reader

based on this idea || chapter i || chapter ii || chapter iii || chapter iv || chapter v

Synopsis: You and few others humans were sent on a mission to find Jake sully and get his help, and possibly resolve the issues between navi and the humans, which were caused by the unethical procedures of the RDA. Will you be successful?

A/N: neteyam has won the poll so he will be chosen as the main lead, this will be a "x reader" fanfic, kinda follows avatar 1 plotline except it's reader and neteyam instead of jake and neytiri, RDA is obvs the villain, idk how many chapters this story will have but it's gonna be a ride for sure, so buckle up peeps!

After the first great war between the Na'vi and the Humans, conflicts rose back on Earth as the unethical procedures issued by RDA on Pandora got leaked to the public eye.

There were many protests, petitions signed to stop RDA's project, humans sympathizing with the Na'vi, they didn't want the same fate as Earth and Humans occur to Pandora and it's living beings.

This led to a new organization being formed, now competing with RDA, called Space and Earth Resources Organization, SERO for short, they had the same idea as RDA but much less violence and battle equipment involved.

Y/n was the daughter of the scientist who worked in SERO, her avatar body was in progress, as the organization decided she and few others will be sent out to Pandora, they all will be sent to separate locations to look for jake sully.

Ever since she was young she had always dreamt of being a scientist, her curiosity to learn and obtain knowledge was one of the main driving reasons, but on a unfortunate night, her mom was killed in a gang encounter, they were unable to defend themselves having no fighting skill or a gun, after that she started training, she wasn't officially a soldier but trained just like them, she had both decent battle skills and knowledge which is what made SERO become interested in her.

Obviously she isn't perfect since she was only 18, but she was able to stand out, showing mediocre but consistent results.

As technology further advanced back on Earth, SERO accidentally figured out a way to travel faster to Pandora, it used to take 5 years, but now it only takes 3, due to the flaws of RDA's operation in the past, when SERO first sent out the very first batch of scientists they implemented a information system, where any information can travel faster through a communication device, it takes 2 - 3 days, but that's still better than 3 years of delayed information.

Their main goal was to reestablish good relations between the Humans and the Na'vi, while also simultaneously contributing to Earth, SERO has managed to bring back few of the extinct flora and fauna from DNA cloning, which resulted in positive reactions from both the Humans and Government.

This all led to the moment now, you said your goodbyes to your family, your dad and your siblings, giving them a hug, “I'll miss you, child.” your dad says while giving you a headpat and you pout “Dad! I'm not a child anymore.” you say, he smiles at you before reaching for something in his bag.

He pulls out a medium size box before handing it to you, you open it and gasp, it was filled with few polaroid photos of your family and a necklace of your mom.

“I know you'll miss us too even if you don't say it, so we decided to send you a few things that will remind you of us.” he says and you smile, tears filling your eyes and your dad looks at you with a soft smile before pulling you in for a hug.

“Thank you dad.” you say while sniffing and crying onto his shoulders, your siblings also start crying and you all have a nice family hug before you had to say your final goodbye for now.

“Goodbye everyone, I'll keep you updated through the communication device.” you say the last part to your dad who nods at you.

You look back once again before boarding onto the spaceship, “miss, come this way” you heard a a voice say, you follow them, leading you into a room where you see bunch of other humans, you go up to them and introduce yourself, they do the same.

3 years later

you had finally arrived to pandora after 3 whole years, your spaceship landed in a beautiful spot, it was so vibrant and filled with various plants, SERO decided to build around the flora on pandora rather than destroying it, which led to this vibrant and peaceful looking place, you put on your oxygen mask before stepping down from the spaceship and taking in the beauty of the planet.

“yo! welcome.” you and your group were greeted by this friendly lady with a smile, she looked like she was in her 30s, you greet her back with a smile too.

“come ill take you guys to the scientist camp, its not far from here but it is quite the trek.” she says brightly and you guys nod before following her, you gasp as you notice creatures of pandora flying over the area, they were so mystical, “btw i never told you my name, its Aria, Aria stone.” the lady says and you smile at her “nice to meet you miss stone.” you tell her.

“the animals here seem comfortable with flying over this area.” you point out which makes Aria look over to you “you noticed huh? we tried our best to build around the flora and not destroy the homes of many creatures living here, it was difficult at first but we figured it out and the animals dont mind us existing here, rather, it seems they actually like us but we cant get too cocky now.” she says with a wink which makes you chuckle.

you guys finally reach the scientist camp, you guys go inside and remove your oxygen masks as the air inside is machine based and pumps oxygen needed for humans, as you guys go further inside you notice a bunch of avatars sleeping with masks as few humans scurry around them.

“those are your vessels.” Aria says noticing you studying them, you look at her and give her a nod “they we're originally stored in liquid to preserve their body but since you guys are here, we bought them out, soooo are you guys ready?” she asks and you all say yes in unison, “perfect, but let's go freshen up first” she says and you guys scurry off to freshen up and come back in a few minutes, bodies more relaxed than before and faces glowing brighter, she then leads you guys to the room full of link units.

“this is where you'll be connecting with your avatar, you'll be training a bit in your avatar body, learning to hunt and survive how the na'vi people do, but based on the locations you're sent to, things will vary, but these are the basics” Aria finishes and leads everyone to their respective link unit, you lay down, excited for what to come, she closes the top and you close your eyes.

Your mind goes blank as you enter into a different world, visions of tree roots and everything passing by before you open your eyes in your avatar.

“hello? can you hear me?” you are questioned as soon as they saw you open your eyes, and you nod, getting up slowly, moving your hands and legs, wiggling your fingers and toes. “Motor control looks perfect, can you stand up?” they ask and you nod before following what they said, as soon as you stand up you notice how tiny they are next to you, you take some time to balance yourself and adjust to your new body.

“are you able to walk?” they ask and you try doing so, it takes a couple of steps before you can get used to the body and start walking normally, “everything looks perfect miss stone.” they talk into the communication device.

You are examining your body, you noticed that your senses have heightened than your normal human body, you're able to see, feel and hear better, “alright miss, everything looks perfect, you can change before going outside.” they say and hand you over human like clothes that were made to fit the Na'vi body.

You quickly remove the patient typa gown before getting in your normal clothes making your way to the exit, you open the door and close it before stepping outside to a beautiful garden with crops and a volleyball court made from tree branches and roots.

You breathe in the fresh air on Pandora, feeling euphoric, oxygen on earth isn't that great, you can't go outside without a mask sometimes due to the heavy pollution but here, the air is so fresh.

You go further into the garden and run around, feeling excited, the rest of your avatar peers are in their own world too, taking in Pandora's air and beauty, wishing earth could be like this too.

“Alright everyone! gather up here.” you hear a familiar voice say and you turn the direction where it's coming from, it's Miss stone, in her avatar form, her avatar form is just as beautiful as her, you quickly join the crowd who are gathering up in front of her.

She clears are throat before proceeding.

“I think we're all aware of what mission we're here for, is to fix the relations between the Humans and the Na'vi, and coming to an agreement with them, we have already managed to convince few of the clans taking help from the humans who were allowed to stay here, who partnered with us to this cause, but the main issue at hand is RDA.”

“I'm sure everyone is aware that RDA doesn't have good intentions anymore, they used to, they are trying to find a man named jake sully through a seperate mission and god knows what will happen if they do but before they find him, we need to find him first and ask his help, RDA is continuously destroying the neutral stance other clans have of Humans and robbing this planet, our mission is to prevent that.” she continues on with a serious face.

“For that, we will need to train first, learn to hunt and live the Na'vi way, I'm sure you guys have learnt the language in the past 3 years, but if you didn't fully grasp it you can still do it now, and after that you will be sent out to find Jake sully, RDA still doesn't seem to have successfully found him, he apparently left the original clan, and we have to find him first and fast, our team have been trying their best to distract them from their mission and it's working, you will be training for 3 months before being sent out, individually or just 2 people.” she says, the last sentence makes the other gasps

“That's too dangerous! It's better to go in groups.” one of the people say and Aria sighs “I know it is, but sending in groups will cause panic and confusion, other clans do not know that we exist and might confuse us for RDA and attack us, which we don't want to happen, and we have to be as less threatening as possible, if we go in groups then it's like walking right into the fire.” she says while looking down, the avatars are still not okay with this but everyone can understand what Aria means.

Silence falls as everyone is looking down before y/n speaks out “i'm ready.” she says making everyone look at her in shock but after seeing her serious face, everyone suddenly gets the motivation and encouraged by the aura, they all look up to Aria and say “We are too.” with pride lacing in their voice.

Aria gives a bright smile before nodding her head in acknowledgement.

“Let the training commence.”

[screampied]

okay here me out, vegas... juno by sabrina carpenter but nanami and choso.. the fact that the song is about being so down bad for your man that you're willing to carry their child and then.. we all know nanami and choso has a breeding kink cuz theyre a family man.. and would totally be so obsessed with your breasts lactating..

(also update: i totally crushed my test court exam in uni on my saturday class yeyuuhh test court class is basically a major exam here in my uni where you actually defend a pretend client from court and ur judge is the professor and i had to defend a client that had her nudes leaked and yuh i won that case so yuh,, im rewarding myself tonite with self care with ur fics yuhhh!!!) - 🐰

do you read my mind i’ve literally had this in the vault since aug 26. HELPPP ??? i don’t even have words man i just like layouting fics and abondeninf them for months . i should stop that . . oh stop nanami + breeding kink you want me to die. NANAMI IS SUCH A FAMILY MAN 😞😞😞😞 maybe i won’t drop this fic bc it’s just been rotting away i forgot ab it until you said this so THANKYOU BUNNY

and omg !!!! im so proud of you <3 good for you and i hope your client’s doing okay !! THANKYOUUU AGAIN, ENJOY XXX

[kittyball23]

Mission Accomplished (a Trolls fanfic)

Summary: The brothers are able to break Floyd free from the diamond… but are they still too late?

A/N:  Okay, okay, I know I said the previous one would be my last update for now, but how could I NOT write about that new scene that came out?? FYI, spoilers sort of, so if you’re not down for that don’t read

__________________________________________

The brothers’ song still lingered in the air even long after they’d finished singing it, sparkles resulting from the musical notes that they’d hit so harmoniously. The Family Harmony had been accomplished, and the wanna-be popstar twins were off somewhere in the river below them, more than likely flailing around helplessly with their thin, limby arms and legs.

Smiles and cheers had followed from the jubilant group. The Trolls had won!

“You did it!” Poppy cried, hugging Branch

“We did it!” he corrected. He readily cupped her cheek, overcome with a sudden urge to sweep her in for a heart-stopping kiss, when a weight suddenly fell onto his side, unbalancing him. He gasped when he realized that it was Floyd.

The magenta Troll, having been cheering alongside them, fell over, unstable on his legs. He groaned as he hit the ground, far too weakened to even attempt to push himself back up.

“Dude!” John Dory cried, hurrying to one side of him. Branch, Clay, and Spruce were quick to follow, surrounding their brother in a semicircle. Poppy and Viva stood off to one side, watching with wide eyes and giving the guys their space.

Branch felt his eyebrows crease with worry. Floyd had used the last bit of musical lifeforce inside of him to help add on to the harmony and break himself free, and it seemed to be having its effects on him now. He was hardly able to breath, each intake and release of air labored, and the last of his telltale magenta color was disappearing.

“Oh my gosh…” Clay murmured. “What do we do?”

“I… d-don’t think that any…thing can be d-done…” Floyd managed to say, albeit strained.

“What?” John Dory sounded appalled. “What are you saying, Floyd? That you should just die?!”

“No way,” Spruce pitched in. “We came here to break you free from that diamond!”

“A-and you did…” Floyd said. “I couldn’t be any more grateful. I knew you guys could do it. And I thank you for it, more than you could ever imagine…” He paused, glancing up at each one of them and feeling his eyes water. Suddenly, a little laugh escaped him. “Heh… look at us… We’re all together again…. I want you to know that you’re my b-bestest friends in the whole… wide… world… I couldn’t ask for any other brothers… I l-love you guys so… so… much…”

It was a little difficult for Floyd, but he managed to lift his hand just enough in Branch’s direction. Branch saw this and, meeting him halfway, gripped it. Floyd looked up into his eyes, and though he spoke no more, Branch could still read the intense emotion coming from him. Floyd was his favorite brother, and Branch was Floyd’s favorite as well. And it was the blue Troll who he continued to look at, all the way until his eyes fluttered shut and his hand went limp.

Branch felt his heart clench terribly. “Floyd?” he whispered, feeling his voice break. He felt tears pool into his eyes. “Oh, goodness no…”

“Floyd, wake up, bro,” Spruce urged, “Wake up!” He grabbed onto his leg and shook him, but the Troll was still deadweight.

John Dory slumped, covering his face with his hands. “This is my fault,” he whimpered. “If I would’ve just been faster…”

“No, bro, this is my fault,” Clay said, “If I hadn’t given y’all a hard time trying to come in the frst place…”

“Uh-uh,” Spruce said. “This is my fault. If I would’ve - “

But he had stopped himself from finishing his sentence at the sound of Branch bursting out with a sob. The blue Troll leaned over his brother’s body, pressing his forehead against Floyd’s and clutching onto him tightly.  Tears leaked down his cheeks in large, messy drops as he came to terms with what had just happened.

We tried... We tried but we were still too late. Now Floyd is gone.

Another family member gone, just like their Grandmother.

He felt his other brothers come to surround him, all putting one of their arms around each other, and the other arm on Floyd. Each of them silently mourned the loss of the magenta-haired Troll.

Suddenly, some humming began. John Dory looked up, as did Spruce and Clay, and they found that it had actually been Branch. And in listening closely, they recognized the song. It was the song they’d sang for the Family Harmony, a slower rendition of it, as Branch paid homage to its songwriter with the somber tune.

His brothers easily joined in, humming along and pushing past the pain. It was the least they could do. There seemed to be nothing else…

Until…

Branch could sense a glow emanating, and he forced his eyelids open, lifting his head slightly from where it had rested on his brother’s. He gasped. Was he really seeing what he was seeing?

It seemed like he wasn’t, because his brothers saw it too when they opened their eyes. There was a colorful glow that ran from each of their arms from where they were on top of Floyd, as if they were supplying him with their talent. Floyd’s body glowed, his arms regaining that blueish skintone and his hair regaining some of that rich magenta color it had been.

Suddenly, he looked nearly completely normal.

But, is he actually… alive? Branch wondered.

“Floyd?” he asked, shaking him gently.

There was silence…

But then…

The magenta Troll gasped, blinking awake all at once. JD, Spruce, Clay and Branch all gaped at him. He stared back at them.

"Am I... I mean, did I... die?"

He squeaked in surprise when all four of the brothers replied with a scream of "FLOYD!" and was subsequently crushed by arms squeezing him in a tight hug.

"You're alive!"

"Oh, thank goodness!"

"We thought you were a goner for good!"

The three elder brothers bombarded him with phrases of relief. Branch in the meantime remained clung at his side, not wanting to let go, making sure that this was real.

"I'm so glad you're okay," he told him genuinely.

Floyd grinned at him, sweetly ruffling the blue-haired crop of hair atop of head. "Hey, um guys?" he asked the brothers. They immediately perked and listened in. "Do you think we could be a family again?"

Branch exchanged a look with the others. They knew just what he was thinking, so he spoke up for all of them. "Floyd, we ARE a family." And with that he went back and hugged him again.

Viva and Poppy, overcome with emotion, hugged each other as well. "Mission accomplished, sis?" the Putt Putt Queen asked.

Poppy winked. "Mission accomplished!"

[aettuddae]

welcome to another episode of business matter updates with chiro !

fair warning, the episode may not be as entusiastic as the others cuz ur favouring host is sick and tired : <

LETS START STRONG WITH OUR FIRAT UPDATE FOR THE DAY

taylor swift was seen asking about idol serim from oe during her tour. fans suspect that its either a collab or a dating announcement is going to be launched soon

idol serim was seen following karina of sm around inkigayo like a lost puppy, funs suspect a love triangle between swift, jang and yu.

minji of new skirts was seen talking to serim who was then dragged by her rumoured girlfriend karina. a heated glaring session went on between the new skirt and suppernora leaders.

kpop fans all over twitter came together to express concern and shock over how serim is so bitchfull yet so bitchless at the same time.

serim was seen playing games on ningning's phone. the cute interaction left knetz in awe. (its me, im knetz)

the rumour of minnie dating a man got solidified as another dm between the idol and her mystery man got leaked. minnie was seen acting like a 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴.

karina was seen having mental breakdowns atleast five different times in the duration of a day which lead to mys sending protest trucks to sm.

a weird woman was seen crying outside the jyp buliding while talking about a manhwa?? local police issued another warning and instructed local public to not come near the jyp building at night.

rumours have been spreading all around the kpop scene about karina and serim actually being a married couple who are going through a divorce. this rumour has been getting backed up by the n number of clips of karina glaring at serim.

last but not the least, local woman was seen having a breakdown and vrying while reading the last chapter. she reported that she felt a strong violent urges towards karina and that her wife serim deserves better. (im local woman)

can we appreciate chiro doing this every single update, truly another level of dedication, love u chiro 🫂 also, hope you get better, sweetheart, take care of yourself !!

NOT SERIM PULLING TAYLOR SWIFT TOO ?? sagittarius sweethearts. shut up, this is the most unexpected love triangle to come out of business matter (or is it?) and i totally support it

who won the new skirts vs suppernora staring contest make your bets

never have i ever seen a woman pull so many women and scare them away so fastly, it's truly admirable

chiro you have too many jobs what do u mean you're a knet now

she's a certified FREAK, she likes bald men

red velvet members, the two exos remaining, some ncts going into sm building and seeing a bunch of protest trucks that read "why is karina acting insane AGAIN? don't know what you did, but i know it's your fault, sm" and just thinking it's normal

ryujin take your things and runaway, the cops are coming

my favorite marriage in crisis 🥰

NOW YOU'RE ALSO LOCAL WOMAN? HOW MANY PERSONALITIES DO YOU HAVE?

[snickerdoodlepie]

When Christmas Goes Delightfully Wrong

Christmas is a time of laughter, love, and cheer, urging families to prepare for its celebration weeks ahead. But how would it be if what was planned isn't what is due?

Christmas had always been one of the most anticipated seasons of the year for me. The memories I’d build each time with my family and friends never failed to be unforgettable. But there was one particular December that changed everything, the kind of day you could look back on and feel it alter something deep in you—a day that will forever hold a special place in my heart.

The day before Christmas of 2022 had an unhurried, lazy feel, like a typical weekend without a single plan or task due. I was sprawled out on the floor, aimlessly browsing the internet and wondering how I’d spend the remaining hours of the day. Then it struck me—why not reconnect with my love for drawing in a way that challenged me? I then dabbled in sketching here and there, but something about today made me feel like going further, diving back into an old passion. With this idea in mind, I planned to create an animatic as a Christmas gift for a special friend of mine. These so called animatics involve digitally drawn storyboards with lyrical music set in the background to aid the narrative's storytelling element. Energized by this goal, I spent the entire day creating and perfecting every detail, even having enough time to create digital Christmas cards for my family and other friends.

As night began to settle, I heard my mom call from downstairs, asking me to come down to talk with her about something important. I slid down the stairs to meet her, curiosity sparking as I saw her waiting expectantly.

“Ewel,” she began, “we’re doing something different tonight. Instead of having dinner at your grandparents’ place, like we always do, we’re going to McDonald’s in Valencia City.”

I blinked, surprised. “All of a sudden? Why?” I asked, my curiosity piqued.

“Well, Luke won a McDonald’s coupon from an event at his school,” she explained. “He said he wanted to use it for a family dinner tonight.”

A smile broke across my face, excitement bubbling at this unexpected change. Luke had never won anything in a contest before, so it felt like a mini celebration for him too. I rushed back to my room to get ready for the evening, brushing my hair, putting on a bit of makeup, and grabbing my favorite jacket. The more I thought about it, a huge array of possibilities for the night began to fill my mind with warmth and anticipation.

Soon enough, my mom called for me again, and I hurried downstairs, ready for the short drive. We stopped by my grandparents’ house to pick them up, where Luke’s older brother Hobe suddenly begged our grandma to ride in a different car so he could sit next to me. She sighed but agreed, and soon Hobe and I were chatting up a storm in the backseat. We discussed plot leaks from upcoming animes like Demon Slayer and Attack on Titan, adding in some talk about the latest updates in Genshin Impact, from new character releases to theories about upcoming game lore. I could hardly keep up with Hobe’s enthusiasm, and yet, it filled me with a sense of comfort and nostalgia—a simple, familiar joy.

As we drove along, I caught glimpses of the soft, peaceful scenery passing by outside, giving me a moment to appreciate the calm night surrounding us. Once we arrived at McDonald’s, though, the peace was replaced by the lively, bustling chaos of the holiday crowd. The restaurant was packed to the brim, with people lined up and some even filing complaints about their orders. My mom glanced at me with a thoughtful look, clearly weighing out her options.

“Mom, should we really eat here?” I whispered, tugging gently on her sleeve.

She sighed, “Well, we came all this way, and we don’t want to waste Luke’s coupon. We’ll make it work. Just wait outside, okay? I’ll call you if I manage to find a table.” I nodded, trying to keep a poker face as I stepped outside into the cool December air. The chill hit my face, a comforting reminder of the season’s specialness. “What a beautiful night,” I murmured, taking a deep breath and feeling grateful for the little things.

My younger cousin, Luke, suddenly tapped me on the shoulder. “Ate, can I see the drawing you told me about?” he asked eagerly. Smiling, I pulled up the animatic I’d been working on earlier that day, sharing it with him as we waited.

Minutes passed with our family gathered in the parking lot, while my mom and my aunt continued to wait in line. Soon enough, the familiar smell of fries and nuggets filled the air. “Food’s here!” Hobe shouted in excitement.

My dad looked at my mom and asked, “Why’d you get takeout?”

She shrugged, “The place is packed, not a table open anywhere. We’d be standing there forever. So, it’s dinner in the cars.”

I froze for a second, processing the reality—just hours before Christmas, and we were about to have a family dinner in a McDonald’s parking lot. The idea was so bizarre, yet it excited my heart, bringing with it a comforting sense of simplicity.

With everyone gathering, we split up, with all the kids piling into my aunt’s car, awaiting our share of food. As my aunt handed out the meals, she laughed awkwardly. “Oh, by the way, they ran out of utensils. So, you’ll have to get a little creative.”

“What?” I exclaimed dramatically, but in truth, the weirdness made it all the more memorable. Eating without utensils? The night was turning out to be more eccentric than expected.

As I looked around, I noticed everyone improvising their own ways to eat. With no hand sanitizer on hand and no chance to wash up, I ended up digging right into the food, hands-free, face-first into my nuggets. From the corner of my eye, I saw Luke using his baby brother’s food bowl, while my aunt fashioned a makeshift glove from a plastic bag. My grandparents, the only ones with utensils, smiled at us, probably thinking about how unusual and funny this whole setup was.

We continued eating, and just as we were finishing up, a group of children carolers came by our car. Being the season of giving, we gave them some money—and even shared some untouched nuggets with them. It reminded me that Christmas was about more than just receiving; it was about spreading kindness and love, sharing what we had, no matter how simple, and behaving like how Our Heavenly Father wanted us to. Glorifying Him with our choices, words, and actions.

As we cleaned up, my mom suggested we visit the nearby plaza. Enthralled by the sparkling lights and the festive music, we all agreed. Walking into the plaza, I felt a sense of peace, like being home. I took a moment to reflect, thinking maybe this was what life was all about—enjoying the gift of the present. People get so caught up in perfection and planning that they sometimes miss the charm of spontaneity.

Just then, I noticed colorful lights shimmering from the corner of my eye. Grabbing my cousins’ hands, I led them toward the plaza’s famous dancing fountain. The vibrant lights and the kids playing around the fountain captivated me. I felt my heart light up with childlike excitement. As I debated the idea of joining them and facing the consequences of being soaked, my mom appeared behind me.

“Do you want to take a bath?” she asked knowingly.

“I do…” I quietly admitted.

She then smiled softly. “Go ahead.” And with her permission, it felt as if any future worry was nothing but trivial. My cousins quickly got approval from their own mom, and the three of us raced toward the fountain, our laughter mingling with the festive atmosphere.

Dodging the jets of water, we found ourselves among other kids, playing, laughing, and just living. For the first time since lockdown, I felt truly free. The night felt like a celebration of life, a reminder of all the beautiful moments I’d missed during those confined days. Families gathered around, watching as we enjoyed the spectacle of lights and water, unknowingly creating memories that would stick with us for years.

After a while, the cold began to settle in, and we wrapped ourselves in blankets, ready to head home. Even though I was chilled from the dampness, a sense of warmth filled me, my heart brimming with contentment.

When we got back, I thought the night was winding down, but I decided to log onto Genshin Impact to complete my daily missions. Scrolling through my friend list, I noticed someone online—a friend from school with whom I’d been chatting more often, one I’d come to realize I might have a crush on. We’d never met in person, but we connected so naturally over random late-night conversations on Messenger.

I felt a rush of excitement as I clicked Join World. Watching the loading screen, my anticipation grew, and when it finally loaded, I was over the moon to see he’d accepted. We spent hours together, fighting monsters and gathering resources, helping each other out to level our characters and weapons. The cutest part is that we even took pictures at the game's prettiest places during our gameplay! You could say that I was constantly kicking my feet in glee the whole time we played.

As midnight drew near, our messages drifted from the game to Messenger's personal chat. Then, as the clock struck twelve, “Merry Christmas!” messages flooded my phone. I dashed downstairs to greet my parents and texted holiday greetings to family and friends. As I checked my inbox, I realized I hadn’t yet messaged him.

“Merry Christmas (^∀^)!” I typed to him.

“Merry Christmas to you too :D.” he replied.

Just when I thought our chat would end, he sparked a new topic, and we kept talking, sharing stories and laughter as the hours slipped by. Time passed almost unnoticed, until we suddenly realized it was nearly four in the morning.

“I can’t believe it’s 4 AM, haha.” I typed, half-laughing at the absurdity of staying up so late.

"Yeah, i just realized too, LOL." he expressed casually.

There was a pause, the kind that feels both comfortable and charged. My heart raced, realizing I was sharing this quiet, magical moment with someone who felt like they really understood me. It was silly, maybe, and a little unexpected, but I felt a warmth that I couldn't quite explain, and that I hadn't felt in a long time.

After a few more messages, he finally typed, "Alright, I should probably sleep now, haha. Merry Christmas again:)."

"Yeah, thank you for your time. I really enjoyed it. Merry Christmas, and goodnight!" I sent back, smiling at the screen like an idiot.

As I finally closed my phone and sank back into bed, I felt content in a way I hadn’t felt in years. There was something so pure about the night—no fancy dinners, no elaborate plans, just family, laughter, a bit of mischief, and a quiet, late-night chat with someone special. It was far from the perfect holiday I’d pictured, but maybe that’s why it meant so much.

That Christmas wasn’t just memorable; it became a reminder that the best moments are often the unplanned ones. And as I drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face, I knew that this Christmas would be the one I’d cherish most, a story to tell again and again, like a melodious song replaying in my mind.

THANK YOU FOR READING!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS & GOD BLESS!

[blkchainsaws]

way way back in the 1980s

modern au!hanatengu clones and their high school experience.

content warning: brat's dumbass headcanons, drabble, mentions of fighting, a bit suggestive on the first part?, mentions of cheating, karaku is a manwhore

i may(MAYBE) update this as time goes on

brat's says...title from the clone high theme cause, clones, high school, get it?

a group of quadruplets. they're extremely popular in their school.

All four of them are extremely popular with the girls, but there is a ranking list between the girls at their high school. It goes, Aizetsu, Karaku, Urogi and Sekido. All the girls like Aizetsu due to his timid, sensitive nature. He is unaware of this and all his brothers are mad that he doesn't realize it.

Karaku is second, he is rated highly for his looks and his flirty personality. However, with this, he is seen as very easy and alot of girls only want one thing from him, which he doesn't mind.

Urogi is third cause while he is hot and funny, he is extremely loud and quite annoying. He doesn't realize this and if we're being honest, he wouldn't care.

Sekido. He's ranked last cause he's literally angry and snappy to everyone. When the girls ranking list got leaked, everyone was afraid he would lash out at being ranked last. He was more mad that his brothers one upped him on the rankings than everyone else, so most of his anger was directed towards them. The brothers rub it in any chance they get.

worst boyfriends ever

Sekido or Karaku are Heartbreakers. Do not trust these men with your heart they will crush it and step on it.

Sekido has a reputation of being distant and cold to his partners, or dumping them randomly. All girls avoid him after his last breakup ended with his ex moving away to avoid him.

Karaku is notorious for messy breakups. The only girls that will date him are either from other high schools or new girls that come to his school. The messiest breakup he was in involved him cheating for 3 months, on his girlfriend of 5 months. Both girls got into a fight in which one pulled out a knife. When he was confronted all he said was "My bad."

Aizetsu and Urogi haven't had any long-term relationships. They can't make it out the talking stage.

WORLDSTARRRR

Sekido. Straight up. There's countless videos of him fighting at school. He's won every fight. He also fights his brothers, but that's more of a play fighting type of deal.

He will fight for his brothers. You got an issue with one of his brothers, you got an issue with him.

"party at our place! ladies get in free, guys gotta pay."

insane. house. parties.

Urogi and Karaku love to host parties and invite anyone who is anyone. Every party has ended with the cops being called due to noise complaints or everyone running cause the cops showed up.

Their parents haven't caught on yet.

speaking of parents...

They have a super nice foster mother. she adopted all four of them along with their little brother Zohakuten. She's a hard working nurse that loves her boys so much and they love her as well. She wants the best for her boys and always encourages them to do their best.

let me see that report card.

Sekido and Aizetsu are top of their classes. Aizetsu was acknowledged as the top student at his school. When called for his reward he accepted it awkwardly and started purposefully failing so he wouldn't be the center of attention anymore.

Sekido is smart and calculated, but he tends to get frustrated when he cannot understand certain questions or lectures, he refuses to be tutored. His last tutor was Aizetsu but they got into a disagreement over a question that ended with a huge fight and a hole in their shared room.

Urogi and Karaku are...troubled. Urogi makes the worst grades, and Karaku doesn't even try.

athletic af

These boys are athletic. Every sport they try they dominate.

Sekido does football, Karaku does basketball, Urogi does track, and Aizetsu doesn't participate in school sports, but he is amazing at basketball.

These boys are the reason their school is on the map for their school teams.

pranksters and interviews

Urogi and Karaku.

You know those youtubers that walk up to you and interview you? "What's the freakiest thing you did?" They do shit like this to get a reaction out of people. They have been reported many times for it.

They're the reason students get routine bag checks. They once pulled a prank with a homemade stink bomb in a closed class room. No one found it funny, not even them.

what does everyone truly think?

euthanize all of them except for aizetsu

[666soulz]

LUA

(that king!ellie fic that i talked about making twelve years ago is finally here.)

you stand on the balcony looking at the full moon as you rubbed your pregnant belly. you were due any moment now and not what you’d do to have a partner with you. you had been prolonging this pregnancy for as long as you could. the English have just won a war against france and she’s be back anytime soon now. she never wanted to leave you here alone, especially knowing she’d miss the majority of your pregnancy. she never even got to see you get all swole and full because she left after one month after finding out you were with child. 

you couldn’t send her letters cause she was much too far. couldn’t see her face, all you could do was write updates for her in your journal and talk to the stars and moon hoping that she heard your whispers of love. 

you sigh, caressing your tummy, “alright little one time for bed.” you smile looking at the moon once more. 

“goodnight my king.” you whisper before walking back inside of the shared bedroom. 

ellie sits in the carriage barely able to sit still knowing that she was just a few minutes away from her wife. god she couldn’t wait to see you. she wondered if you had finally given birth. she wouldn’t know since it was suggested not to share any letter between you two. the risk of information being leaked to france was much too high. god she couldn’t imagine if they found out you were pregnant. 

ellie legs bounces as she looks up at the moon. she had a feeling that you were probably doing the same. the promise to always look at the moon every night even if there was a time difference. it kept you two from losing your minds while being away from each other. 

“how much longer?”

“around five minutes your majesty.”

ellie groans as her advisor dina chuckled, “eager?”

“don’t pretend you aren’t either.” ellie said, glancing at dina. she knew that she craved to be finally reunited with her lover jessie. it was all she talked about. 

“i am.” dina shook her head, “but you are feral.”

“maybe i am.” ellie mumble leaning her cheek against her palm. 

when the carriage finally came to a halt ellie practically ran into the palace. rushing to the bedroom that she shared with you she carefully pushed the door open.  

the room was dimly lit with fragranced candles that helped relax you at night. you had got them so you could stop stressing over ellie instead of sleeping. they worked like a charm. 

you layed in bed in your white see through curled up into a little ball with one of your hands resting on your tummy. ellie let out a breath that she felt like she was holding in forever. god you looked so beautiful. even while sleeping the pregnancy glow was still evident. it like pregnancy emphasized your beauty. you looked like an angel. 

ellie slowly crept towards you and swept your curly hair from your face she looks down at your swollen stomach and places one hand on your tummy, grinning ear to ear. 

“hi, my little knight.” ellie said rubbing your stomach. her eyes widen when she feels a strong kick underneath her hand. “wow you’re a strong one aren’t you? strong little knight.” ellie laughs sitting on her knees beside the bed, feeling the constant kicks.  not even seeing the look of discomfort on your face as get awaken from your sleep. 

who the hell was touching your stomach without your consent?

“you give your mom a hard time?” 

your eyes snap open when you hear the familiar voice of your wife. your king. 

“ellie?” you whisper looking at her. ellie head snaps hearing your voice. too induced in the baby in your stomach she didn’t even see you waking up. 

“my queen..” ellie breathes out standing up. “ellie!” you jump in her arms nearly knocking her back. she laughs squeezing her eyes shut as she holds you tightly in her arms. 

“oh my god. the gods have answered my prayers!” you cry out ellie kisses my forehead tgen sets me down on my feet so she could give you a proper kiss. 

ellie kisses your lips with so much need and longing that it nearly knocks the wind out of me. i moan feeling her tongue clash with mine. you had missed the taste her and the pregnancy hormones had you ready to pounce on her. she pulls away to say, “fuck, i’ve missed you so much my love.”

i grin tucking a piece of hair behind her hair, “and i you. let’s get you out of these clothes. you must’ve had a long trip.” you smile taking the heavy robe off of her shoulders and all of her other clothes till she was in her sports bra and boxers. 

the moon shines brightly on ellie’s pale skin. showing off the cuts and bruises ellie accumulated over the past 8 months. 

“god ellie..” you said touching the jagged pink scar on her back with shaky hands. the results of a brutal battle between two kings. ellie definitely put up a better fight which is why she only had cuts and bruises while the king of france was dead. he was no match for her from the beginning and since she was a women he underestimated her, which resulted in his death. 

“i’m okay,” ellie grabs my hand kissing the back of it. “let’s go to bed. i know you have plenty of bedtime stories to tell me.”

“indeed i do.”

ellie listened to you talk about your pregnancy, all the cravings you had, the days where you could only lie in bed because your morning sickness was doing it worst on you. she listened to it all till you were dozing off trying to stay awake to continue to talk to her. 

“you’re tired. go to sleep love. i’ll be here when you wake. i promise.” ellie said, caressing your cheek. you hum closing your eyes finally getting the well needed rest you deserved. 

the next month ellie didn’t miss a chance to make up for the days she missed with you. picnic dates in the garden, dinner on the balcony, making love to you in the bedroom. 

you were due any day now so ellie was a bit overbearing, but since she was gone for so long you let her be. 

you hum to yourself walking through the garden waiting for ellie to come see you. she had told you come meet her in the garden at twelve and of course she was late. 

you pause feeling a cramp in your stomach. you breathe sitting down on the closest bench. lately you’ve been having the worst braxton hicks. usually breathing methods did the trick but today it was on a different level. 

“mmph!” you whimper holding your stomach, “y/n..what’s going on? are you okay?” ellie rushes to you seeing your face contorted into pain and discomfort. 

“braxton hicks, i-“ you feel something trickle down your legs making both you and ellie look down. 

“did your..”

“my water broke!” you gasp, grabbing ellie’s hand in disbelief. “oh god. we must get the doctor right away. come on!” ellie said panicking while you laughed 

“ellie relax. just help me to the room then go get the doctor okay?”

“alright, alright, come on my love.” she grabs my hand helping me inside. she leads me to the bedroom making sure i was comfortable before running off to get the doctors. 

you made sure to write how far apart your contractions were as you waited and waited. finally your lover, the doctor, and a few maids walk in getting you comfortable as you writhered in pain. 

the doctored and maids tried to make you feel as good as possible but nothing could get in the way of the terrible contractions. ellie patted your head with a cold cloth as you cringed in pain. hours passed of you hollorinh in pain, seeing how dilated you were, and ellie making sure your every need was met. 

it was dawn and the moon was shining bright outside when you finally felt the urge…

“i have to push! i have to push!” you cry out grabbing ellie’s hand. “deep breath then push your majesty.”

you take his advice and push as hard as you could. every push you felt a hot searing pain between your legs. it was probably the most painful thing you’ve ever felt, but you did your best to push through the pain just so you could finally see your baby after nine long months. 

“one last push baby,” ellie said as you grip her hand as you pushed and pushed till you finally heard your baby wails. 

you lie back in bed completely exhausted as you watch the doctor hand the baby to ellie. “it’s a boy!” ellie says looking at me. ellie coos as he cries his little lungs out. 

“lungs of steel. let me see him baby,” you say holding your arms out for him. ellie lays him on your chest making his cries come to an instant stop. 

“oh wow. i see who the favorite parent is already.” ellie pouts as you giggled. “hi my baby boy. hi,” you sniffle as tears stream down your face. you feel like you’ve been waiting for this moment forever. “my little prince.” you coo. 

“ellie! he has your eyes look!” you giggle as your son opens his eyes looking around, “welcome to earth little one.”

“he does,” ellie grins, “we have to name him. let’s think of one while they clean him up!” you said handling the baby to the doctor. as a safety precaution some of the gaurds followed him to make sure nothing happened to your newborn. 

“do you have anything in mind?” ellie asks caressing my hand. “after carrying and birthing him i think the right to name him is yours.”

“i was thinking..lua? it’s means moon in portuguese.” you tell her she smiles kissing the back of my hand. “that’s perfect. our little moon boy.”

“thank you for this my love. this is a moment we’ll remember forever.” ellie said kissing your sweaty forehead. 

“i wouldn’t have wanted to do it with anyone else.” 

[mlobsters]

supernatural s1e5 bloody mary (teleplay: ron milbauer, terri hughes burton; story: eric kripke)

(this is a rewatch, so spoilers abound)

today's update from the first watch - in fact maybe playing bloody mary as a very sensitive and nervous kid still gives me particular nightmares 30+ years later!

i like that they actually show us sam's nightmare about jess and it's conveniently just the pilot fire footage but blue. but it's effective! and the way they use a clip of his other nightmare where he's visiting her grave (before we get the cheap jumpscare of arms grabbing him from the ground), i always forget that that's all from a nightmare. dunno if it's supposed to also be like, representation of him actually going to her funeral (they did stay a week, i think they mentioned)

SAM I take it I was having a nightmare. DEAN Yeah, another one. SAM Hey, at least I got some sleep. DEAN You know, sooner or later we're gonna have to talk about this.

and they say dean doesn't want to talk about things!

listen, you know i like first season lighting. but this lighting in an office of the morgue is out of pocket lol the eye strain!!

DEAN Dude, I earned that money. SAM You won it in a poker game.

still counts!

s1e5 chelan simmons as jill / hannibal s1e2 as gretchen speck / her little flouncy skirt for some reason is what i remember most

i thought she looked familiar but then i think that about a lot of pretty blonde haired young women in the early seasons of this show.. but she actually is! in my favorite hannibal rando murderer episodes, mushroom maannn (god the music while getting this hannibal screenshot, yeah it's wacky being so discordant and all but it's also SO GOOD at setting the tone and it's just so unique and special 🥺 link to my hannibal music masterpost)

someone got to have a lot of fun getting creative with all these hallway mirrors (peter ellis directed - he did this and 1x15 the benders and that's it)

smooth, dean-o. very normal response. got the doubletake jaw clench combo from sam lol (gifs i reblogged with pretty much the same comments, i am nothing if not consistent)

dramatic skylight on sam what is happening at this library

such a simple horror trope but so freaky every time

oh, sam.

SAM Why'd you let me fall asleep? DEAN Cause I'm an awesome brother. So what did you dream about? SAM Lollipops and candy canes. DEAN Yeah, sure.

very distinct visual style going here. it's just like, so blurry in the background of sam's shot and he's kind of soft focus himself.. feels like someone was having a moment with padalecki this episode instead of jackles hogging all the beauty shots :p and looking at her face i'm just appreciating how smooth the matte makeup looks under her eyes and is holding up to crying (which partially is just having young skin but also kudos to the makeup artist)

funny seeing the different supernatural-hunting techniques and gear that never went anywhere beyond this season

oh man, that feels like a lifetime ago. weird days of celebrity via leaked sex tape

casually printing out photos in their motel room. do they keep a printer with them in the trunk too? 😂

some of the score has got a very mark snow xfiles vibe, thanks to christopher lennertz (video down further because i ~needed~ to get the car chat too)

also trying to ignore the not-great green screen driving moments. i know they sort that out sooner rather than later. i think mainly by driving at night with their very cool practical effects lighting setup that simulates passing street lights/other cars etc - this interview with the director of photography serge ladouceur has all sorts of really interesting information and there's a video included about how they did the night driving effects.

So how did shooting in the car evolve? Clearly some of it was on the road, some of it is Poor Man’s Process in the studio, and a small portion of it is greenscreen.  We didn’t do much greenscreen with the Impala. The scenes we did that way were in Season 1 — sending a crew to film plate shots and compositing in post. We went through that process for some episodes, but because of the visual effects costs with outside vendors, the production went another way. Since Season 2, we have had a full-on visual effects department that’s part of the production, so every visual effect is done in-house. It was very convenient to have the visual effect department right here by our stages, so if last-minute questions arose, our VFX supervisor, Mark Meloche, is close by to answer these questions and guide us into the process, on top of having a VFX department representative on set for the days we deal with those shots. Mark was a great asset on Supernatural, having been on the show for its whole duration. He started with the team as the lead artist and then became the VFX supervisor in Season 8, after the departure of Ivan Hayden. 

oh i forgot about this part... i posted about this actually back when i watched it.

CHARLIE I had this boyfriend. I loved him. But he kind of scared me too, you know? And one night, at his house, we got in this fight. Then I broke up with him, and he got upset, and he said he needed me and he loved me, and he said "Charlie, if you walk out that door right now, I'm gonna kill myself." And you know what I said? I said "Go ahead." And I left. How could I say that? How could I leave him like that? I just…I didn't believe him, you know? I should have.

so this one hit really close to home for me, from my linked post above:

i was watching the bloody mary episode of supernatural, and yadda yadda people have secrets and someone is dead. and then we get to the final woman and her secret is her boyfriend killed himself after they had a fight. i was just internally screaming at sam and dean, and this is the part where you tell her it wasn't her fault ...!!!! because that's also one of the things i'm carrying around too, that i still need reminding that it wasn't my fault. had a fight, i knew he was suicidal, but i thought he was just mad. i was mad too, for the first time with him. i could have called, i could have asked for a wellness check, i could have could have could have... anyway. it's not our fault. i appreciated they told her that, finally, at the end. it's been 15 years now since it happened but it is still heavy on my heart.

the sam parallel finally coming to a head with his guilt about jess, so they get to have their talk. and a little crispy R for posterity's sake on "secret" from padalecki. i think i've narrowed it down to really soft barely there Rs on the ends of words, and very articulated Rs in the middle of words?

xfiles-y score / it's not your fault

DEAN You know what, that's it. This is about Jessica, isn't it? You think that's your dirty little secret that you killed her somehow? Sam, this has got to stop, man. I mean, the nightmares and calling her name out in the middle of the night—it's gonna kill you. Now listen to me—It wasn't your fault. If you wanna blame something, then blame the thing that killed her. Or hell, why don't you take a swing at me? I mean I'm the one that dragged you away from her in the first place. SAM I don't blame you. DEAN Well you shouldn't blame yourself, because there's nothing you could've done.

we know especially later that even if he warned her, there was no way it would have helped. the wheels in motion were so far beyond their control. literal forces of hell and heaven working against them.

MIRROR!SAM You never told her the truth—who you really were. {SAM is now falling towards the ground.} But it's more than that, isn't it? Those nightmares you've been having of Jessica dying, screaming, burning—You had them for days before she died. Didn't you!?! You were so desperate to ignore them, to believe they were just dreams. How could you ignore them like that? How could you leave her alone to die!?! You dreamt it would happen!!!

and these would be my 5th and 6th screenshots of my original viewing. also long slated to paint at some point

DEAN Sammy. Sammy! SAM It's Sam.

forever grateful that dean is stubborn and continues to call him sammy. love a nickname, especially when dean's the only one allowed to call him that

dean getting the ultra blurred out soft focus treatment now, with a side of extra saturation

SAM Charlie? Your boyfriend's death...you really should try to forgive yourself. No matter what you did, you probably couldn't have stopped it. Sometimes bad things just happen. DEAN That's good advice.

good but hard to internalize all the same

DEAN Now that this is all over, I want you to tell me what that secret is. SAM Look...you're my brother and I'd die for you, but there are some things I need to keep to myself.

not quite sure why sam's smiling about this. not to mention how his visions become extremely plot relevant in the future. would think that would be more angsty, not lighthearted

s1e5 / true detective s1e1

i don't know if this is the first time the show made me cry? but the shot of jess on the sidewalk really got me this time around. also reminds me of a shot in true detective s1 that i used in my hannibal / true detective edit.

i've thought about doing some comparative gifs but i do think it's also kind of a common trope. but not like that means it's not worth doing! just selection of the trope from shows i have Feelings about

the song was replaced yet again on netflix, this scene originally had laugh, i nearly died by the rolling stones and they used bones into dust by fred haring instead and it was a good enough sub that it hit me in the feelings, rarity. i don't know what part of the rolling stones song they used but i might actually prefer the vibe a little bit of the substitute?? it's more straight bittersweet melancholy

via the wiki

Dean began to bleed from his eyes when confronted by Mary Worthington, denoting he had a dark secret which creator Eric Kripke claimed would be addressed at a later date. However, the plotline would quickly be dropped and never mentioned again.

lol

so much for these not all being excessively long posts 🤪