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Bitty Surprise - Chapter 3 - Pov Nightmare
It is Sunday! and that means the weekly chapter update! We are back with the bitties <3
Third Chapter!
First Chapter: [Here] AO3 link: [Here]
*---------------------------------------------------*
Nightmare chuckles as he looks at the list Cross and Killer gave him.
Cross rubs his hands together as he stands by the exit “And remember slow movements. We have only just managed to get him to agree to some soft pets after all these weeks. And first the fruit! Only after he ate some fruit some cookies. And make sure to leave double the amount so he can put some aside for his friend and-”
Nightmare puts a hand on Cross’s shoulder and he immediately stops. Nightmare gives him a reassuring smile “I know Cross. I have helped set up the routine remember? And this is not the first time I visit him.”
Almost two months had passed and they had settled into a nice rhythm. Throughout the week Cross and Killer would manage to visit Axe, they had managed to come to an agreement for the nickname after about two weeks, at least once or twice a day. Sometimes the two go together and they then spend quite some time in the shop. Some days they can only manage a short visit. Other days they can’t go together and then one goes in the morning and the other near the end of the afternoon.
Nightmare wishes he could spend more time with their bitty but he has his work to help the balance still, not to forget his responsibilities for the universes he rules. Through ruling is a bit of an overstatement as he mainly just owns the property. Either way, usually the balance doesn’t need a lot of maintenance. Normally it goes well but some days it shifts into either direction. It helps that Dream is now also actually alert and aware and helps with the balance.
Even if Nightmare wishes Dream would stop looking at him with only regret in his soul. Even if he wishes Dream would just be willing to see his side instead of just believing himself to be correct as he is trying to increase positivity.
Well it isn’t something he can fix. Dream won’t ever be able to accept that this is who Nightmare is now and not that he is just some corruption from the apples. Nightmare has peace with it…
It doesn’t matter.
What matters now is his new… family. Cross and Killer are his family now and he is happy they decided to stay with him. Nightmare is honestly not sure what he would do with himself if they decided to leave.
Yes he knows it is slightly sad how dependent he is on the two but neither seem to mind and both seem to actually enjoy living with him.
But he is getting off topic. Today is an unusual day as it is Nightmare will be the one who visits the store alone. Nightmare had finished all of his work earlier this week and Cross and Killer had agreed to do the maintenance for their tenants. All just to enable Nightmare to spend some quality time with their bitty on his own.
He truly appreciates both of them more than he can express correctly into words.
Which means that today it will just be Nightmare and Axe. Nightmare is actually looking forwards to it. He has packed the food for Axe and a good book for himself.
He is going to spend some time interacting with the bitty and when it seems like Axe is done Nightmare will go to the park to read until it is late enough to try again with Axe.
Killer pulls on Cross’s arm “We are going to be late. It is fine. Boss got this, he kept us both alive after all.”
Cross blushes and sputters before shooting Killer a glare.
Nightmare chuckles “Have fun on your mission.” Then as an afterthought “If you find any interesting books please take them along.”
Killer grins brightly “Got it boss!” and he pulls Cross with him “Say hi to Axe for us! And tell us what he thought about the present!” and Killer tugs on Cross’s arm.
Cross huffs as he takes out his blade. He shoots Nightmare one more look but visibly relaxes when Nightmare nods at him. Cross makes a slice in the air and a portal opens. Nightmare watches them go through together and the portal mends itself shut again.
The castle is immediately too quiet.
Nightmare quickly grabs the bag he had prepared; holding the food, presents and his book, and leaves himself.
Nightmare arrives early in the neutral universe and he takes a breathe of relieve. Isolation isn’t as tempting and reassuring as it used to be.
It is very early still but Nightmare doesn’t mind. He quickly finds the same bakery as before and enters it. A quick conversation later and he managed to place an order for some fresh cinnamon rolls for Killer and some of those cube croissants for Cross. All of which Nightmare will be able to pick up later on his way home. Nightmare also takes a fresh assortment of macarons, he has taken an liking to them himself and Axe seems to enjoy them.
Nightmare is rather picky about his food. He does not enjoy the activity of chewing and most textures. These work as they are rather light but have strong flavours for him to enjoy.
With that done he makes his way to the park to read the first chapter of his book. It is an interesting tale about someone having lost their memories and going on a mission to retrieve them. Nightmare reads for some time until the sun has risen far enough to imply the store would be open.
Nightmare packs up his book and makes his way to where Axe lives. He hopes all has been going well for the bitty. There have been people in the store before that said rude things about the tall bitty and his wounds.
Nightmare can admit he is curious himself but aside from the first time that Axe pointed to the wound he hasn’t referred to it again. So none of them had mentioned it either. Nightmare knows how annoying the questions about his tendrils get and won’t subject Axe to similar questions. He will tell them when he wants to and that is fine.
He gets to the bitty store and opens the front door.
Lambert, the child of the store’s owner and future owner, looks up from a list they are making. They smile brightly at Nightmare “Nightmare! It is great to see you again!” a curious look over his shoulder before their emotions turn hopeful “You… are alone today?”
Nightmare nods “Indeed I am. I was hoping to spend more time with Axe. I brought a few things we thought he might like.”
Lambert smiles brightly as they lay their list to the side and rush to his side “Of course! Honestly I am so surprised with how quickly you are bonding with him.” they walk towards the right cage together “It is amazing to see!” Lambert plays a bit with their wool as they keep glancing at Nightmare.
Nightmare still isn’t used to having others be… happy to see him. Much less the very specific interest Lambert feels near him. Nightmare tries not to encourage it, he isn’t interested in such things… At least not from Lambert.
They get to the right cage and Nightmare feels himself smile “Hello again Axe.”
Axe sits in his usual spot near the window but does fully turn around, still sitting cross legged as he stares at Nightmare. A small smile starts to grace his face but then Axe sees Lambert and Nightmare feels the familiar annoyance and irritations return.
Nightmare turns to Lambert “I got it from here, I wouldn’t want to keep you from your work. If I have any questions I know where to find you.”
Lambert stares before blushing and smiling “Of course! Yes! Obviously!” they wait a moment longer before pointing over their shoulder “I should… do my job… have fun!” they smile brightly at Axe “Have a good day and be good little guy!” and Lambert leaves.
Nightmare turns back to Axe and chuckles at the insulted look he aims at Lambert. “Do they still annoy you?”
Axe focusses on him and takes a moment before shrugging as he looks down. He is holding a small piece of very soft wood and an even smaller needle of some kind.
Nightmare pulls over the barstool they had moved into this corner and sits on it, it makes sure he is still on eye level with Axe but now he doesn’t have to stand “What are you doing?”
Axe blinks up and raises his two hands. Showing the wood and needle, or is it a very tiny knife? Nightmare studies it. It seems parts have been carved away, interesting.
Nightmare nods as he focuses on Axe “Are you wood carving?” Axe nods and Nightmare smiles “A present of your friend? Renegade?”
Renegade had been a name that Killer thought of for Axe’s mysterious partner in crime, as Cross called him. None of them had actually seen the second bitty but tiny presents kept being exchanged between the two and all the food was being eaten so they knew the other bitty was visiting. They had decided on the name Renegade because this bitty was someone wild and rejected the way things used to be for bitties. Or that is how Killer had explained it. Axe hadn’t shown any objection to the nickname for his bonded and so they kept it up.
Axe shoots him a look at his question but nods.
Nightmare smiles “That is very thoughtful of you. What are you making at the moment?”
Axe feels unsure and embarrassed for some reason but eventually pulls over an old looking cut out of a bunny. And now that Nightmare can see the reference he can see the ears starting to take shape. Nightmare nods and tells Axe as much.
Axe looks away and a tiny blush appears at the comment.
Nightmare frowns “Did no one compliment your carvings before?” the movement is practised and skilled. There is no way that Axe hasn’t done carvings before.
Axe shrugs and points to the window. Meaning that Renegade did.
Nightmare smiles “Well, I am sure that with Renegade liking them that is all the proof necessary to prove they are good.”
Axe dugs his skull even more and more embarrassment fills the air.
Nightmare can’t help but chuckle as he turns to his bag and searches it “Talking about you, your friend and presents.” He pulls out two tiny presents. Carefully packed by Cross. He turns back towards Axe. He raises his hand towards the cage opening and pauses “May I?”
Axe looks curious at the packages before nodding. Nightmare slowly opens the cage and lowers the two presents inside. Once the packages are down he returns his hand. He doesn’t lock the cage again as he is still planning on giving food and snacks later.
Axe keeps a careful eye on him until his hand is all the way back by his side before he rises to his feet and walks over to the two presents. Axe frowns at the packages before looking back up at Nightmare.
Nightmare smiles “The one with the red ribbon is yours. The one with blue is for Renegade but we all understand if you want to check his present beforehand.”
Axe frowns but grabs Renegade’s present first and opens it carefully. Taking great care to not rip the paper or the ribbon. He folds away the paper and sliders open the matchbox they had used to conceal the present.
Axe stares in shock as he pulls out the bright blue hoody. And afterwards some pants and a warm red scarf.
Nightmare makes sure to keep his voice quiet as he speaks “We weren’t sure what size your friend is so we went for the standard size. If it is too small please tell us so we can switch it. We also figured Renegade would like some clean clothes with him roughing it up outside.”
Axe rubs the soft cotton carefully before folding it back into the matchbox and closing it, after which he takes the time to fold the packing paper back around the present and tying the ribbon again. It isn’t the same quality as it was before but it is still damn good.
Axe stares for a long time at the present. He feels confused and Nightmare is unsure about what exactly. Axe then turns to the his own present and opens it. Again with the same careful and controlled movements.
It is strange to see someone this tiny move with the care that Axe is, as if he is afraid of breaking something.
Axe finishes unpacking his present and retrieves the outfit they had picked out for him. Nightmare had notices the Axe always wore the same dirty shirt. They wanted to give him a comfortable, warm and clean outfit. Something nice to wear.
They didn’t go for anything too complex or restricting. The jacket they picked for Axe is a neutral blue, matching with the one for Renegade but instead it was filled with pure white fluff to isolate the material and keep him warm.
Nightmare knows that a headwound messes with one’s ability to regulate their warmth and with it becoming autumn they just want to make sure Axe is warm.
Axe studies the new outfit before quickly disappearing into this small hideout. Nightmare watches him disappear inside before he turns to the food he brought along.
Nightmare takes out the cut strawberries and bananas. He takes care to carefully open the cage and leaves the offering inside before removing his hand. Best to give it now before Axe returns, this way Nightmare won’t stress him with moving his hand into Axe’s space again.
Axe returns wearing the new clothes and Nightmare smiles “It fits you very well, you are a very handsome bitty.”
Axe blushes again and hides his skull in his little hood now.
Nightmare chuckles “I am happy you like it. I brought strawberries and banana today. I also brought some macarons but only after your fruits.”
Axe pulls a face and rolls his eyes. Familiar annoyance but he walks over towards the food and starts to eat, only after he carefully separated the offering into two different portions.
Nightmare watches him for a moment and Axe just ignores him. Nightmare waits until Axe is finished before asking a question that has been nagging him “Does Renegade not find enough food outside?”
Axe pauses before shooting him a frown. He shakes his skull before tilting it. Clearly confused.
Nightmare frowns “It is just. You always make sure to have a portion for him ready. I was wondering if that was because you thought he wasn’t eating enough or afraid he didn’t get enough.”
Axe frowns as he looks down at the food he prepared. Then he shrugs. Probably unable or unwilling to answer the complex answer.
Nightmare watches him for a moment before smiling “It isn’t bad in anyway of course. It is sweet you try and help him and take care of him. I am sure he appreciates your efforts a lot. I was just worried myself, that is all.” he doesn’t want to accidentally make Axe doubts his actions.
Axe waits a moment before nodding again. Afterwards he gets up and starts moving the dish with fruits over to the window spot along with the present for Renegade.
Nightmare watches him work for a moment before pulling out his book and picking up his reading again. It is nice to just have someone living and moving nearby as he reads. It is why he loves having the other skeletons in the castle as he works.
Makes him feel less alone.
A small tap on the bars and Nightmare looks over to see Axe right by his side. Axe notices he has his attention and points at the book. Nightmare blinks as he looks at it “It is a new book I started. I am still early in the story. It is about a person who lost all their memories and is on a journey to reclaim them and learn who they were. They have found another person to travel with who is looking for history on a tragedy that happened to their hometown. They are now traveling towards a mysterious labyrinth that is supposed to hold the answers.”
Axe looks considered and nods before looking away.
Nightmare frowns “If you want to, you can read along.”
Axe looks up, thinks for a moment before nodding. The next move surprises Nightmare as Axe just scales the side of the cage and uses just arm strength to get to the cage opening. He hangs on one hand and arm and pushes his hand between the bars and unlocks the small locking mechanism from the inside before holding the bar with both hands. Next he swings back and forth and just kicks the door open and afterwards he swings himself through the hole and climbs out.
Axe stands next to Nightmare, on the outside of his own cage, looking at him and waiting.
Nightmare blinks “I… I didn’t realise you could do that.”
Axe blinks and looks back at the open cage before shrugging. He takes a few steps over and sits on the side of his cage, his little legs hanging off the side of it before looking curiously at the book and back at him. Just waiting.
Nightmare changes the hold on the book a bunch and waits until he gets some kind of sigh that Axe is comfortable reading. Nightmare ends up getting a thumbs up.
The two of them read like this for a while. Nightmare taking a long time before turning each page as Axe just gives a thumbs up each time he is done reading. Axe is a slow reader but Nightmare isn’t surprised. He doubts the bitty gets a lot of chances to read things as books are slightly too big to just have in his containment. Maybe Nightmare can get some kind of small reading tablet for the bitty. Make it easier for him to read in peace.
Nightmare makes a mental note of it.
It is nice-
“Oh no! Wait! No!” Lambert rushes over and grabs Axe. Axe hisses and immediately bites which Lambert ignores as they place Axe back into the cage and locks the mechanism.
Nightmare frowns “What was that for? He was comfortable.” He places the book to the side and looks Axe over.
Axe just sits on the ground of his cage looking very annoyed as he glares at the ram monster. He feels unhappy and annoyed but luckily he seems unharmed.
Nightmare glares at Lambert “What was that for?”
Lambert looks up and rubs their hands “It is just Bitey- sorry sorry Axe tends to scare some of the other bitties if he is out and about. Not to forget that he very quickly gets a headache if he strains his eye too much and that happens with reading. It is better if he just… doesn’t you know?”
Nightmare frowns and he feels disappointment and more frustration from Axe. Nightmare tilts his skull and makes sure to look unimpressed “I hardly see the issue. Axe is very capable and seemed to enjoy the light reading we had been doing. He was also still on his cage and not anywhere closer to the other bitties than he has been.” A glance confirms that Axe looks up hopefully at him.
Lambert frowns as they look over before rubbing their hands “It is just… okay. I think I need to share a few details about Axe.”
Axe freezes and glares at Lambert. Very very unhappy.
Lambert doesn’t seem to notice “It is… about his skull situation.”
Nightmare frowns “It seems rude to talk about someone else’s health. If Axe wishes to share what happened to him he can share it when he is ready. I am not in a hurry to learn.” He is not going to betray the fragile trust he, Killer and Cross had been building with Axe.
Lambert looks apologetic “Sorry but… well… my dad said you kind of have to know so… if you can just come with me please?” they rub their hands “I figured it could wait a bit longer but if you are going to remove him from his cage you need to know.”
Nightmare thinks about telling Lambert about the fact that Axe can get himself out but thinks better of it. If Lambert doesn’t know that it may be because Axe doesn’t let them know.
Nightmare looks over at Axe “I am sorry, I will be back real soon.” He puts down the bag on his stool “Do you mind keeping an eye out on my things while I go with them?”
Axe looks up and nods his acceptance.
Nightmare follows after Lambert and they go to the counter. Nightmare frowns at Lambert “Yes? What did you need to share?”
Lambert thinks for a moment before taking a deep breath “Axe isn’t from this facility originally. He, and we think his bonded, were from a terrible place. Some cops busted the place and freed about fifty bitties all in terrible health and conditions. The exact numbers didn’t match with the numbers we got but we always figured that some went to other safe houses and recovery centers.”
Nightmare frowns “I assume his skull got injured there?”
Lambert shakes their head “No… that came later… it is just… Axe was brought to us with about ten other bitties. To rehabilitate and heal from their abuse.”
Nightmare frowns “Then I don’t see the issue?” Axe was clearly healing and getting better. Especially if his past abuse was by humans or monsters and he was now willing to interact and be near Nightmare.
Lambert rubs their face “He was always… bitey and aggressive which we knew why. The thing is, he had always been locked away and alone. We thought he didn’t have a bonded.”
Nightmare blinks “Wait, his bonded wasn’t with him?” Renegade hadn’t been with Axe?
Lambert sighs “Even the police reports never spoke of having a bitty near Axe. We thought he wasn’t bonded and so, after some time to heal and relax we gently introduced him to other bitties as that is what normally has to be done. It had looked promising at first! Axe would mostly just… ignore other bitties. He just didn’t bother with interacting with other bitties. But…
He would hoard food.”
Nightmare frowns still not seeing the problem. Axe still did that.
Lambert sighs as they look down “The other bitties didn’t like it… we hadn’t… we thought it was fine. We just gave more food and all the bitties ate enough so we didn’t think it would be a problem that Axe had a small food pile he would defend. We figured he had been starved a lot and just wanted him to feel secure…”
Lambert looks into the direction of the larger cage with many bitties.
“There was one night, and there was a loud commotion. Bitties screaming and yelling.”
Nightmare frowns as he turns fully “But they hardly ever make noise?” Bitties would normally talk to normal sized monsters and people but Nightmare had noticed most of them preferred to be quiet. Past abuse would also explain why Axe was quiet, his past owners probably didn’t allow him to speak or communicate.
Lambert nods “It is how my dad and I knew something was horribly wrong. We rushed downstairs and found a horrible scene. Axe was on the ground of the bitty housing, his skull cracked and bleeding, a large needle stolen from somewhere in the store nearby. And… another bitty, one wearing a piece of cloth with a tie used to cloak the bitty. The bitty had been stabbing another bitty repeatedly in the chest, neck and head. The other bitty wasn’t moving anymore.”
Nightmare blinks but listens.
Lambert rubs their face “We immediately removed Axe to get him to a healer and tried to catch the wild bitty, but he was slippery and immediately managed to twist out of our grip and made a run for it. We never even got to confirm what type of bitty he is.”
Lambert sighs “After returning from the healer we moved Axe into a solo container to not risk hurting him anymore and we looked at the security cams and found something shocking. Axe had been asleep and the bitty that had been killed had been the one to initiate the attack. She had climbed out of the cage and stolen a needle from our tools. Then she had climbed back in and gone straight to Axe and stabbed him through the skull.”
Lambert crosses their arms “The thing is… in the background, the whole time, you could see a tiny figure near the window, watching the other bitty go about the store. The second she got a weapon he had been working on unlocking the top window near the ceiling to get inside.”
“As she had stood over Axe he had gotten inside and went straight for the cage. He was only seconds too late to stop the attack.”
Silence around them.
Nightmare frowns “I don’t see the issue… Axe was attacked and his bonded tried to save him. Seems like rather good partner behaviour to me.”
Lambert raises their voice “A bitty was killed!”
Nightmare crosses his arms “It was a form of self-defence. Especially if they went through hell together and have been bonded since their last imprisonment. Or, Axe was only imprisoned and his bonded was still wild but still went to spend time with him.” a thought “Where were they originally from?”
Lambert thinks for a moment “A country over.”
Nightmare nods “So either, they were a bonded pair from the same hellish place… or, Axe’s bonded is a wild bitty originally from a completely different country, who willingly followed Axe all the way here to still be with him.” he tilts his skull “That are the two most likely options I see at this moment and to me that just tells me how much they care about one another.”
Lambert groans “Axe being out of his cage makes all the other bitties nervous! He caused the death of one of the bitties!”
Nightmare shakes his skull “No. The bitty who died attacked first. She started a fight with a sleeping unaggressive opponent.” He crosses his arms “She would have killed Axe if she had the chance.”
Lambert crosses their arms “I know it is just-”
Nightmare continues “And just because she was already popular in the bitty settlement and Axe wasn’t it would have gone over well. She would have probably not even received much punishment would she? It would have been seen or written off as her trying to defend her colony and community from a food scarce. All while ignoring she killed a hurt and traumatised bitty that should have not been thrown off the deep end or been left in a container with bitties that seemed to dislike him.”
More silence around them.
Nightmare stares Lambert down “I will continue to help Axe and make sure he is healthy. His health, both physical and mental is my concern foremost.” And he nods “Thank you for the information but it hardly changes anything.” And he turns away and walks back to Axe.
He gets to the cage and his stool and takes a seat. He doesn’t see Axe right away and that is fine. “I apologise for taking as long as I did.” He looks into his bag and concentrates on his magic. Axe feels insecure and ashamed. The poor guy no doubt heard most if not the full conversation.
But more curiously.
A curiosity not his own, from very high.
Nightmare keeps his face aimed downwards towards his bag but lets his eyesight find reflective surfaces.
He is very lucky.
Because he can see a very tiny cloaked figure near the top of the window. Near the ceiling window, a similar one to the one that Lambert had spoken about.
Nearby and guarding his partner it seems.
Nightmare thinks for a moment before taking his chance “Lambert told me how you got your wound.”
More shame and frustrations from Axe and clear worry from Renegade.
Nightmare makes sure to keep his voice calm “I am sorry that happened to you. That after you got to a seemingly safe space that you were hurt, especially after showing so much trust by sleeping and resting near them.” he considers his next move before going through with it as he feels his first set of words positively affect both bitties “And, I am happy to hear you have such a good bonded who immediately moved to defend you when you needed help. Those type of people can be rare to come by. I am happy you both have each other.”
That seemed to have been the right words as he feels disbelieve from two sources before Axe rushes out of his hiding hole and stares hard at him. Still distrusting and nervous and in shock but so hopeful.
Nightmare smiles “I mean it. I understand that you both are worried, especially after all that happened. But if either of you need something you can ask us and we will do our best to get it to you.”
Axe keeps frowning at him before nodding and disappearing back into his shelter. It seems like that was it for Axe for today. Nightmare risks another glance towards the ceiling window but it seems that Renegade wasn’t there anymore.
Nightmare ends up opening the cage to leave a few more macarons before rising to his feet “I will be gone for a little while but I will be back in the afternoon again.”
A small chirp answers him that he was heard and Nightmare walks out of the store for now.
Today had already been very successful.
--
“…”
“… Do you think he was serious?”
“I don’t know… He seems truthful…”
“…”
“I don’t like you being outside…”
“I don’t like being near big ones…”
“I know… sorry…”
“It isn’t your fault…”
“…”
“… I… I would understand…”
“…?”
“If you… wanted to be… with them…”
“Bunny…”
“I know… they would be good for you…”
“Bunny.”
“and they like you…”
“Bunny…”
“I just don’t want to… ruin this…”
“You won’t.”
“…I always do…”
“You won’t… please meet them?”
“…”
“Only if you want…”
“I don’t know… I just… I don’t know…”
“It is okay…”
“…”
“I love you…”
“love you more.”
#utmv#bittysurprise#bittysupriseau#nightmare sans#horror sans#Also in case it was confusing.#Axe/Horror is from a bitty fighting ring.#Dust/Renegade has always been a wild bitty#we good? :D#Bad Sans Poly#In the making and as endgoal :D
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sorry no update tomorrow guys, i got back from my week long trip for a family funeral and immediately got sick as shit. man it's certainly been. a Month.
i will be sleeping all weekend and can't finish it so the update will be next week <3
#foxy rambles#delete later#man ive been sick twice this month#this time is. bad.#but i am on the road to recovery and will be fine dont worry#just need another week for the update#the next 4-6 pages will be. intense. so i dont want to rush them
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For the sake of clarity, when I say “pages” I mean like this is two pages
#im considering the possibility of updating ride or die every week but with only a couple pages at a time#something more consistent… i update twice a month (13th and 27th) rn#polls
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YOU FINISHED THE NOTES BUT YOURE WITHHOLDING IT??? AND IT’S ENTERTAINING??? AND IT FEATURES MADDIE???????????
yeah okay i'm posting it soon. expect it within the hour. and yes to all three :)
#anon#asks#never change#you know i think this is why i should never be a fanfic writer. i'd be such a terribly inconsistent poster#“updates every sunday” “expect an update at least twice a month”#me as a fanfic writer would be all like i update for the first time in four months and then i update every day for a week then i go on a---#---year-long hiatus after which i consistently post weekly. then i drop off the face of the planet and return months later. i never finish#real life stria lore#<- sorta?#keefe would not like me and i don't like him#mine
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I miss my old coworkers!!! I miss having friends at work instead of passive aggressive assholes who don’t want to train me and then get annoyed when I don’t know things and act like my very existence irks them!!!!
#if this was part time I’d be able to handle it#but 9 hours a days day after day is genuinely putting me in the worst mindset I’ve had in months#like I go to my car during my break and sit there pushing tears back bc I feel alone and shunned!!!#and these are GROWN ASS WOMEN??#one of my old coworkers came in to pick up a medication the other day and when I saw her my entire body literally slumped with relief#like omg someone I know who doesn’t hate me!!!!#and we had a quick convo bc she was updating me on work tea and I was like wow I haven’t felt this happy since i started this job#almost 2 weeks ago and that was such a sad reality check lmfao#and like the only reason I got this job is bc I’m bilingual and they desperately needed that#and it’s like okay do you realize you need me?? bc I’m there most of the week the other bilingual girl is only there twice a week#and 99% of your clients don’t speak English so what’s gonna happen if I leave??#you’re going to have to find someone else and train THEM from the bottom just like me#you’re gonna be in the same position all over again!!!#this is all so infuriating
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spent too much time looking at the logistics of webcomic publishing this evening and now I feel. something.
#many things in fact#overwhelmed primarily. I was kind of trying to find some webcomics akin to the kind I want to do like artistically and also genre wise#and couldn't find anything like remotely similar. which I guess is cool bc mine is unique!#but it also means there's not rly existing models/examples of work to look to for guidance ig#especially art style wise waow a lot of these are uhhhhh homogenous. visually. which like stick with what works i guess!#not everything obviously I found some stuff with very lovely unique visuals#but also when I looked around at like webcomic rings and publishing options they were like please update 1-2 times a week. A WEEK?#I think maybe I'm startled by it bc I'm thinking in terms of print publishing like they want a page or 2 a week not full chapters.#but I'm operating on like comic clerk brain where we'd get a new issue of smth in once or twice a month#and those comics had whole teams behind them!! I'm one guy!!!#well. I've learned a lot tonight and I have time. not gonna panic no sir#it speaks
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i would write more if it weren’t for my health issues
#personal.txt#i just got over a month long infection that put me in the hospital twice#once for the night and once for multiple days#then i’m just really tired because of everything else that’s wrong with me unrelated to the infection i just recovered from#i want to update my fics and post new ones#but i can’t#maybe soon#but probably not tomorrow or even next week#not unless i’m lucky
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is atwmd updating soon?
hopefully before january ends
#ask#wfrau#tbf it’s only been like a month since the last ch….#ik i kinda shot myself in the foot by updating more regularly when i was first posting etc but. well i will reiterate#there is no longer a posting schedule my goal is just 2 get one ch out per month if possible#(<- guys who’s annoyed at the amt of comments they’ve been getting asking when the fic is gonna update)#(not ur fault anon just. there r a lot of people who seem 2 think it is normal 2 expect a ch every week etc)#(which again. perhaps shot myself in the foot by updating my other fics faster but i do try 2 communicate when i don’t have the time etc)#anyway that being said. i’m actually almost done w the next ch it’s just ~twice as long as normal#gonna try 2 finish the last scene tomorrow then send along 2 my beta reader <3
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Do you have an ao3 author that you really hate? A fic you wish would just disappear?
Fear not, with our "Allie's bad luck" service your dreams can now become reality!! 💖✨
We only need a title! Allie will take a look at the unfinished fic, think "oh wow, sounds amazing!", bookmark it.. and the fic will never be updated again.
Not. Even. Once.
#C'MON MAN#i've literally bookmarked fics that have been updated regularly twice a week for MONTHS and are like 2 chapters away from being completed#and as soon as i bookmark them#oops 🤭 the author decided to just ditch modern technology!! they'll never write again!#it's a curse i swear#it makes me cry a lot#some of the best summaries i've ever read and now i'll never read those stories 😭#I DON'T READ UNFINISHED FICS OKAY? I CAN'T HANDLE IT#and it wouldn't be the same anyway#fanfic#fic#ao3 update#ao3 author#archive of our own#ao3#bnha#mha#steddie#steve harrington#spn#destiel#merthur#hannigram#nbc hannigram#stranger things#kinnporsche the series#malec#bookmark#mdzs#wangxian
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I'm officially six months to 30 time to start trying to bike a 30mile solo ride!
#Status Update#that's my fucking goal I've only ever gotten to like 25 miles#but that was when I was riding twice a week and was like 20lbs lighter so WE'LL SEE HOW IT GOES#but that's the Before 30 goal at least because I can't think of anything else#I don't think I'm reading 28 more books in the next six months at least#WISH ME LUCK Y'ALL
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day 49 / #otasuneweek23 day 5 - supernatural! not the biggest au guy so I opted for some costumes (otacon is vampire hatsune miku)
#im not gonna bother taking the twitter tag out of the caption#bc see i post on mobile; but I haven’t updated the app in months#so I can’t see what I type in the caption#it’s just black#this is all in the workings of a true otasunehead#otasune every day#otasune week 2023#otasune#snotacon#hatsune miku#autocorrected to ‘hatsune Mikey’ twice lol#halloween
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yes im going to shameless self promo i have more followers here than i have kudos on ITNL and i think that's a damn shame
ITNL is much more put together than i ever am on here lmao
#speculation nation#not to say i dont want ppl following me here. obviously i do#but i am going to do what i can to siphon my influence here to the project i ACTUALLY care about#like any self-respecting fanfic writer would#ykno i really should start doing official update posts#blehhhhhhh it's so hard tho.#im not used to getting more attention here than on ao3 :p#discacc has so many hits... 65k... and not a lick of self-promo...#but ITNL has a measly 5k hits... with plenty of self-promo...#yea yea discacc is the 2 and a half year old fanfic with nearly 500k words while ITNL has only been around for 3 months & 63k words#BUT SENTIDO HAS OVER TWICE THE KUDOS OF ITNL STILL... i want That to be fixed at the very least#come onnnn give my darling child the attention it deserves. pay no attention to its scrappy older sibling.#Sighhhhhh yes ok Sentido deserves some attention too i guess. still wish ITNL had more than it tho. minor injustices in the world...#ITNL has more comments than Sentido tho by a Long shot hehe#i do hope ITNL readers are looking forward to my comeback. im planning on it being this week. if i can. i hope.#I'm Gonna Try. i think i can. i will. im manifesting.
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Hello, I have problem, I can't read your story, demon on your shoulder, after chapter 13, it won't let me read the others, the update of chapter 14 and 15 doesn't appear, why? I love the story
Hey, there! I appreciate that you love the story, but I'm afraid unless you got yourself a working time machine, you are going to have a problem with that!
The story has currently only 13 chapters and neither chapter 14 or 15 have been written or posted yet. You can't read what doesn't exist. ^^°
I'm afraid you'll have to be patient and wait for them. ;)
#Fic: Demon on Your Shoulder#Shadowhunters#Malace#Reader Appreciation#though chapter 14 _was_ supposed to come out today#but well. I have been dealing with being sick#for essentially the whole past month. so updates#have been pushed back twice already last month#and I'm still kinda behind sooo this one will be too#gotta admit I'm peeved that I HAVE pushed back twice already#so I worked on it today and I wanna work on it tomorrow#and if I have a good day tomorrow I may break the Saturday rule#and update on a Sunday instead. but if I don't get it done#it will be pushed back to Saturday next week I'm afraid
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the way that I have regretted getting this health insurance from literally day one. it's expensive (a little under 200/month) basically doesn't cover anything and the fucking idiot who filed everything copied my goddamn birthday wrong and of course it's a different company for each thing so I've gotta call 3 different places to tell them no, my birthday is not in march, can you please let me make an account now
I mean my only other option was to just not have any insurance but I mean. the deductible is four thousand dollars. what difference does it really make.
#like. sometimes a 3 could look like an 8 sure#but like. when has an 8 ever looked like a 3#bitch that is two circles!!!#and I actually had to call blue cross twice bc 1st time she said ok we'll change it could take up to 5 days to update etc etc#a week later it still didn't work. called again and she got it fixed for me within an hour. like what are we doing#and I'm paying almost 200 a month for this
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It's been a week already....we have 2 people out sick at work for the rest of the week my first major essay is due Friday. Have readings and assignments I need to do on top of that. Plus I'm basically working like 40 hours which i know is like supposed to be a typical work week but like i normally get 30 if im lucky so the added hours is throwing me off😅 I promise I'll update my William boldwood fic asap I have the chapter almost completely edited but this is why the delay.
#jen talks#oh and did i mention had a family member pass?#i didnt know them super well#hence why its in the tags#but dads pressuring me to go to the funeral thatll be some point this week#and its like i spoke to him maybe twice#ugh#oh and its about to be that time of the month#so my emotions and moods are everywhere#but anyways#im going to try to finish editing chapter 3 on my breaks at work#and maybe post it later today#so im not far off my weekly update promise
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“sunflowers or peonies?”
“awe, nanami! i’m flattered—”
“they’re not for you,” nanami says flatly. “you can buy your own.”
shoko squints down at the man lying on her exam table, arm held up and behind his head. “i’m quite literally stitching you back together, you know.”
the blond thinks bitterly on what had landed him in her infirmary in the first place, injured and likely having to reschedule dinner tonight. it’s already well past the time he’d planned on picking you up, and the table he’d reserved at the new restaurant in roppongi has likely been given away.
he’s dreading calling to tell you, his heart already twinging at the idea of letting you down.
shoko stitches him up neatly, cleaning and covering it up with a layer of bandages. she offers him a hand to help him sit up, but he bypasses it to plant his palm against the cot, pushing himself up with a groan.
she rolls her eyes, peeling her gloves off and pulling her mask down, tossing them both into the trash. “clean and dress it at least twice a day. no sudden movements of strenuous activity for at least a week. if you ruin my work, i’ll put you on bedrest.”
she digs through her cabinets as he awkwardly pulls his shirt back on. his mind drifts to you as he does so. he’d lost his phone in the fight, so he hadn’t been able to tell you about cancelling.
he wonders if the pout on your lips is painted your lips that shade of red you’d been wearing when he’d first met you. wonders if you’re waiting wearing the dress he’d gifted you last week.
he’d really wanted to see you in that dress.
nanami sighs heavily as he does up the buttons, prompting shoko to glance over her shoulder at him.
“what’s wrong with you?” she asks, setting a small bottle of painkillers on the tray table next to him.
“i’m missing an important dinner,” he grumbles, wondering if just a bundle sunflowers or peonies from the small stall outside is enough. he should order you a proper bouquet from a shop. perhaps he can also book you a massage or—
a knock at the door interrupts his spiralling.
“oh!” shoko suddenly gasps. she reaches up, brushing a few stray hairs from his forehead and fixing it as best she can.
“what are you doing?” he asks, genuinely confused in this moment.
“you’ll see,” she simply grins, sending him a wink. then, “come in!”
the door to the infirmary opens to reveal…you.
“kento,” you breathe, the quiet click of your heels echoing through the empty room as you quickly walk towards him.
he’s shocked, but lets you carefully wrap your arms around him, cradling his head against your chest.
but before he knows it he’s holding onto you too, breathing in the deep, sweet scent of your perfume and focusing on the steady beat of your heart.
“what are you doing here?” he asks once you finally release him, taking your hands in his.
“shoko called me,” you tell him. “apparently…apparently i’m your emergency contact.”
his face is suddenly hot with embarrassment. he’d honestly forgotten about that. he hadn’t even realized he’d done it when yaga had asked him to update his information with the school. your name had been the first and only name to pop into his mind.
“sorry,” he apologizes quickly, dropping your hands. he jumped the gun, didn’t he? you’ve only been dating for six months… “i should have asked you first but—”
but no one knows me better than you.
a soft sigh slips from your lips as you sit next to him, with a gaze so reverent that it strips him to the bone. “i love you, kento. i will be your emergency contact as long as you want me to be.”
he whispers the words back to you, suddenly shy.
sometimes nanami lets himself slip a little too far into his own head, overthinking and a little insecure. but you’re always there, ready to coax him back into the light.
“you look beautiful,” he murmurs, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to your knuckles. he’s seen you in a lot of dresses, each one making him weak in the knees. but this dress…this one makes it a little hard for him to breathe.
“well, you still owe me a date,” you tell him, helping him up off the cot. “we could go to the ramen place across from my apartment.”
he wraps an arm around your shoulders, and you reach up to intertwine your fingers with his. “i’d go anywhere with you.”
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