#update to the wip i posted like 4 weeks ago

[hoofpeet]

He's having a TERRIBLE time

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

All In 4

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, power imbalance, low self esteem, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: you meet a mysterious man on a night out with your sister. (petite!reader)

based on the winning option for this poll

Characters: casino owner!Bucky Barnes

Note: It's Rebecca Black day

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

As expected, your mother is waiting anxiously for your return. It’s not often you’re at the mercy of her disapproval but she has some choice words for both you and Roxie.

Why didn’t you call? You forgot to, everything was so chaotic. Why would you make me worry like that? You know how I am, it isn’t fair to not answer your phone. I was about to call the police. You’ve heard the same aimed at your sister dozens of times but it’s much different to be at the end of it. 

Once she’s done and you feel thoroughly guilty, you retreat to your room. That’s all you wanted. For the last day, all you wanted was to hide away. Yet, now that you’re safely behind familiar walls, you still feel unsettled. 

That’s enough excitement for a lifetime. How does Roxie think that is fun? It’s terrifying. 

You take out your laptop, your most prized possession, and sink back into your virtual cave. It’s safe there. The things you see on the internet are distant and often times fake. Fanfiction and streams and discussion boards. It’s all so menial and unimportant. It’s not finding a job and dragging your butt to work five days a week or disappointing your mother. 

Mm, well, you should check the job boards again. Something’s going to come up eventually. That’s what everyone says and those people have jobs. Even Roxie works, even if it is at a night club. It’s work and she brings home some impressive tips. When your mom asked her to get you a gig, she just laughed. 

You interviewed at Taco Bell a few weeks ago but you haven’t got a call. That’s probably not going to work out. Move on, try again and again and again. 

The computer doesn’t keep your focus as usual. Maybe it’s that you’re overtired or that your mom was so upset or everything that happened last night, but you just can’t rein it in. You close your laptop and lay flat on your bed. You close your eyes, exhaustion hot on your eyelids, but you can’t sleep. You’re no good at napping. What are you good at? 

You sigh and kick your feet. What are you going to do? You can’t spend another summer like this. You’re not like everyone else. You didn’t get into your school and you didn’t get some lofty job from your uncle’s company. As much as you can blame it on other’s luck, you have to acknowledge you’re own shortcoming. You procrastinate, you get nervous, and sometimes, you just avoid things altogether. 

You get up and grab your purse. The strap catches on your sweater and knocks it onto the floor. You search for your phone and pull it out. You bend to retrieve your cardigan and toss it with your purse back onto the dress. You look down as something flutters onto the carpet. 

You didn’t forget about the little note. It’s the weight that been on your shoulders. You take your phone and the paper and sit on the side of the bed. You can rip it up, crumple it and toss it in the bin, pretend nothing ever happened. You should. Just forget about the worst night of your life. 

You can’t. It’s not about your sister’s drunken display or your embarrassment. It’s about a job.  

You hang your head as your nose tingles. Your mom works her butt off and she’s so giving. You want to return the favour. Even if it’s small. Even if it’s just you paying for some of the groceries or a bill or giving her a few bucks. If you don’t try this time, you won’t be able to forget. You’ll always know that you are the reason you came up short. 

You unlock your phone and key in the number. You drop it and let the paper fall too as you stand. You pace around in circles until you’re dizzy. You hate making phone calls. The sound of your own voice is grating. Ugh.  

No, you have to do it. You can do this. It’s one phone call. What if that’s the job? What if you’re answering a phone? Get over yourself. Grow up! 

You pick up your phone and hit call. Your chest locks up. You can’t breathe. Oh god. If you can’t breathe you can’t speak. You hang up and squeak. Frig. No, don’t give up. 

You try again. This time, you force out an exhale and shakily hold the phone to your ear. There’s an answer after two rings. 

“Barnes,” a voice declares from the other end. 

“Erm, oh, Bucky? It’s... me,” you stutter out, giving your name as you realise he won’t recognise your voice. 

“Ah, hi, doll, give me a moment, one sec,” he says and you hear a scuffing on the other end and a muffled ‘excuse me’. His movement rustles and he clears his throat directly into the speaker, “there we are, doll, all yours. How are you?” 

“Uh, alright, I’m fine, er, oh... you?” You close your eyes, Just melt into a puddle and absorb into the carpet.  

“Doing great now, hearing from you,” he purrs, “I’m very happy you called.” 

“Mhm, well...” you put your hand to your neck. Your skin is burning. “I... was calling about the job. In the note.” 

“Of course, doll, so you’re interested?” 

Desperate, but you won’t tell him that. “Yes, please, I mean--” you cringe. You’re not ordering ice cream, “would... what would be... would there be an interview?” 

“Sure, doll,” he says. His tone is light and airy. Is he making fun of you or are you just self-conscious? Both, probably. “How about you come by the casino tomorrow at noon? Does that work for you?” 

“Yeah, uh, whenever,” you agree, “I can get a ride.” 

“Sounds like a plan. Can’t wait,” he coos. 

“Right, uh, okay, yeah, I’ll see you,” you babble dumbly. 

“Mm, yeah, see ya then, doll,” he intones. 

“Yep, er, bye.” 

“Bye--” 

You hang up in a half-panic. You did it. You made the call and you got an interview. You think. The conversation wasn’t what you expected but you think it went well.  

You blow out through your lips and grip your phone tight. Your heart hammers again. You march to the door and stop just before you can grip the knob. You’re excited but scared to tell your mom. 

You swing the door open and clammer through. You hear her in the kitchen doing dishes. It’s Roxie turn so of course your sister is sitting on the couch nursing another coffee. 

“Mom,” you slow and tap your phone against your leg as you stop by the counter, “I... I got an interview.” 

“An interview?” Her surprise is genuine, both in her expression and her voice as she looks at you. Her face blooms in a smile. “That’s wonderful. When?” 

“Tomorrow,” you utter. 

“Tomorrow?” She echoes. 

“At noon.” 

“Noon, okay, I can come home from work and drive you, but you’ll have to get a cab home. I should have enough for the fare.” 

“Ah, yeah, okay,” you clutch your phone in front of you and sway, “thanks.” 

“No problem,” she chimes, “where is it?” 

“What?” 

“The interview.” 

“Oh, at the casino.” 

“The casino?” She turns back to the sink and stares into the water as she scrubs, “hm, interesting. What will you be doing?” 

“Hm, I... don’t know yet. Maybe a cleaner.” 

“Oh, that’s not bad at all,” she says, “think I have a shirt you can wear. Maybe I could hem a pair of my pants for you tonight.” 

“Mom, you don’t have to--” 

“You should look nice,” she undercuts, “it’s not a big deal. Besides, it would be really good if you got a job.” 

You nod. You can hear the thinness in her voice. She tries to hide it but you know it’s not easy around here. You saw the red notice in the mail box and heard her on the phone with the landlord. The bough is close to breaking. 

“Thanks, I’ll... I’ll do my best.” 

“I know you will,” she trills. 

You smile and go back to your room. You shut the door and shudder. Great, now you’ve hurdled over the phone call, you can dread what comes next. Not just venturing out into the general public but going to an interview. It’s one thing after another. It feels like a lot after so long of nothing. 

🃏

Your mom lets you out in Lot 4. It’s far from the main entrance but she’s in a hurry to get back to work. You won’t keep her. You can walk a bit. 

The sun has you sweating along with the polyester trousers. The belt is pinned and the legs have been hastily hemmed. The blouse doesn’t breathe either but you managed to iron the wrinkle out of the sleeve. 

You come to the front doors and steel yourself. Your mascara sticks as you feel the perspiration around your eyes. Oof. You did your best to follow the tutorial with your sister's borrowed makeup but you skipped the eye liner; it only ever turns out smudgy. 

You enter and the air conditioning cools the heat in your cheeks and chest. The woman behind the counter greets you with a smile and a ‘how are you’ before asking if you’re checking in. You’re almost speechless at the sight of her. She’s so pretty and she can do the contour the way those girls on Youtube do. You wouldn’t be good for that job; not gorgeous like her. 

“Um, yeah, actually, I’m here for an interview,” you say. 

“An interview?” She tilts her head, “I didn’t see anything...” she clicks around with the slim mouse on the desk, “who were you interviewing with?” 

“Bucky, uh, Mr. Barnes,” you say. “Well, I spoke with him. Maybe I’m supposed to talk to someone else?” 

She says your name and glances from the screen to you. You nod, “yeah?” 

“Right, okay, I see,” she keeps her shining smile, “Mr. Barnes has a car waiting for you.” 

“A car?” Your brows pop up. “Alright.” 

“If you just want to head back out, it should be waiting there. You’ll see Merv, he has white hair.” 

“Okay, thanks,” you reply then gulp as you turn around. 

You turn slowly and go back to the doors. What is going on? He said to meet him here but he isn’t here? He would be a busy man. You just hope you don’t blow it. 

You pull the doors open and come down the shallow steps. A man with white hair stands by a dark car. One more mountain to climb. 

“Uh, hello, are you... Merv?” 

“That’s me, miss,” he stands straight, “you must be the lady.” 

“I... guess.” 

“Come on then,” he turns and opens the door, “Mr. Barnes doesn’t like to wait.” 

“Okay, sorry,” you step off the curb and climb into the car.  

The door shuts and you buckle up. At least the interior is cool. You snap the belt into place as Merv gets in the front. He rests a hand on the wheel and points with the other. 

“You want this up or down?” He points to the barrier between the front and back. 

“Oh, I don’t... whatever you like,” you shrug. 

He chuckles, “miss, you’re a lot sweeter than the other ones.” 

Other ones? Of course there would be other candidates. You wonder if this is a test. If maybe Merv is going to tell Bucky that you’re too quiet. 

“Do you like Springsteen?” He asks as he slowly pulls out. 

“Don’t mind him,” you answer. Honestly, you don’t really know any of his music.  

Merv flips on the stereo, “I like you even more.” 

[irisintheafterglow]

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BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA

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[sunflowersandsapphires]

All This World Could Give Me

Of Oak and Ivy, Chapter 4

Series Masterlist           Next Chapter

pairing: Matt Murdock x fem!reader 

summary: In college, Matt Murdock had two best friends, Foggy Nelson and you. However, life had no intention of letting you graduate with him. When he reconnects with you in adulthood, he is troubled to see the hand God has dealt you and vows to use every tool at his disposal to save you from damnation.

warnings: swearing, possessive/slightly pervy Matt (he’s 18 y’all, cut him some slack), implied sexual activity, non-graphic descriptions of masturbation, religious conversations and catholic imagery

I’m ignoring canon a bit here and pretending Matt and Lantom were already close. Sue me.

a/n: I know it's been too long since I posted for this WIP and this is the last chapter I have finished writing so I'm posting it an hour early. But I'm going to try really hard to update this one more consistently because I know it's a fan favorite. As always, comments and reblogs are much appreciated! They give me fuel to write.

w/c: 3.7k (Next chapter is much longer, I promise)

Matt had known you for 11 weeks. Less than 80 days in his life and his heart had practically carved you an altar, ready to worship a new God. His devotion to you was ardent—and it terrified him. 

You deserved more than he could provide, that much was still true, but he couldn’t help the searing pain in his chest when you talked about your new boyfriend. Everett. Just mentioning his name sparked twin blooms of heat in your cheeks and waves of arousal to cloud around you. It was enough to make Matt nauseous. 

A few weeks ago, your new beau had been no more than an unknown peer to the three of you, but it had taken him all of three days to coil around you like a serpent–prying you from Matt’s undying grasp. The two of you had met at Oscar’s homecoming house party and had apparently “totally hit it off”. Two days after that, you’d excitedly reconnected at a Civil Procedure study session that he’d spearheaded with your own TA. After an hour of flirty glances and pointed compliments bouncing between the pair of you, he’d offered to take you out for a late dinner. Stupidly, Matt had assumed you’d invite him and Foggy along, like you had when your last suitor had asked you out, but you’d bid a hasty goodbye to your friends before letting Everett escort you to his favorite diner. 

In the 2 weeks since then, your friends had barely seen you. Dates with Everett had become so frequent that you’d been skipping or rescheduling your semi-weekly study sessions and miscellaneous hangouts were shorter than ever. Characteristically, Foggy had been much more understanding of the shift in your behavior. 

“Cut her some slack, Murdock. This is her first adult relationship. She’s excited!” The blond reasoned, nudging Matt’s slumped shoulder with a knowing smirk. 

“I don’t know, Fog. Something’s…off about him.” 

Snorting, Foggy rolled his eyes. “The only thing ‘off’ about it is that our little jitterbug is dating him instead of you.” His accusation was only a murmur, but the sentiment still hit Matt like a truck. 

Your involvement with someone should’ve been a blessing. An opportunity for him to get over his unrequited feelings and move on with his life without jeopardizing one of the two friendships he’d ever had. Still, he couldn’t shake the unease he felt around the guy. They’d only interacted once, when you’d introduced them during the study session, but one short conversation was all Matt’s conscience needed to condemn the man. 

Though he was well aware that you preferred to show your love through kind words and soft touches, the sound of your pulse skipping when you'd entangled your hand with Everett’s continued to haunt him. Your intentions were as sweet as ever, but he couldn’t help but worry about your counterpart. His senses were bombarded with pheromones whenever he was around you, and the majority of them were not yours. It was like the guy knew exactly how to get under Matt’s skin and had taken to coating you in his cologne before allowing you out of his sight.

If it was possible, his mind was more occupied with thoughts of you than ever. Being in the same room with you was torturous, every molecule in his body buzzing with indignation at the thought that someone else had claimed you. Every mention of your relationship had him biting his tongue until it bled. 

Amazingly, he’d been able to restrain his frustration at the beginning of your relationship, preventing himself from snapping at you. However, given that he was only human, his willpower could only withstand so much. The last straw was the fresh bruising on your neck that had appeared the morning after a “study date” with Everett. It couldn’t have taken much effort to disguise, but Matt could still feel the heat pooling in three mouth-shaped marks along your satiny skin. 

As you sat beside him at the bookstore counter, you absentmindedly ran a finger over the neckline of your shirt, your heart fluttering as a nail scraped over the highest of the imprints. If Matt hadn’t been so in tune with you and your body, he wouldn’t have thought twice about the tiny sigh that escaped your lips–but he knew you like the back of his own hand, and the sound nearly broke him. 

Noticing the way he stiffened, your brow furrowed. “You ok?” You asked kindly, shifting nearer to him. 

Normally, he savored the warmth of your proximity, but today the combination of your closeness and the metallic taste of blood emanating from your various hickeys ignited a fury within him.  

“Fine.” He muttered, turning the page of his book.

“Ok, let me rephrase. Did you want to talk about whatever is obviously bothering you?” You reached out to run a hand along his arm, wafting a cloud of spicy cologne towards him. 

Jerking away from your touch, and nearly careening out of his seat in the process, Matt shook his head. “No. I’m good, thanks.”

Your breathing stuttered, but you shook it off quickly. “Alright, let me know if you change your mind.” Matt desperately tried to ignore the twist in his gut at the hurt that flooded your tone, to no avail.

The two of you stewed in the silence, pretending to study until the bell chimed—signaling a new presence. Matt had been so tangled up in his own guilt and regret that he hadn't noticed the familiar man approaching the store. Surely, God was laughing at his misfortune about now—his bad luck had to be cosmic.

“Evs!” You squealed, rushing out from behind the counter to hug him. After exchanging a nauseatingly lengthy kiss, you wrapped an arm around his waist and gestured to the other boy, still sitting by the register. “You remember Matt, right?” 

“Uh yah. How's it goin', man?” Everett gave a rigid nod in Matt's direction, not diverting an ounce of his attention from where it rested on you. 

Plastering on his phoniest smile, Matt lifted his hand in a wave. “Not too bad. You?“

”Oh you know, same old.“ The older student brushed off Matt's polite question in favor of pulling you more tightly against him. With a giggle, you let him kiss you again, standing on your tiptoes to reach him. 

”What are you doing here?“ You chuckled, tilting your head to the side as his lips traveled over the bruises he'd left the night before. Matt's stomach rolled at the resulting haze of arousal around you.

”Came to see you. Missed you so much, baby.“ Everett murmured between pecks. 

“I missed you too. But I'm working for another two hours.” You pushed his chest, breaking the seal of his lips along your skin. 

“That's ok, I'm a very patient man.” Your paramour purred, stepping away to let you take your seat again. 

Giggling, you leaned forward on the counter. Everett, as classy as ever, didn't hide the way his eyes drifted straight to your cleavage. Didn't he know that you were more than an object for his use and pleasure?

“Want to sit with us? We're reading for Torts. I can get you a chair...“ You trailed off, craning your neck to find a spare stool for him. 

Clearing his throat, Matt stood. ”He can have mine. I forgot, I have plans tonight.“ 

You pursed your lips, studying your friend as he packed up his things. Unperturbed, Everett quickly slid in beside you. ”Thanks, bro.”

“No problem, bro.” Matt mimicked, shouldering his bag and tipping his head towards you. “See you tomorrow.”

“Um, ok. Have a good night, Matty.” You offered, relaxing slightly when he smiled back at you.

“You too, bug.” As he escaped the harrowing atmosphere, he heard Everett's seemingly innocent question.

“Bug?” The pure envy dripping from the word was enough to break Matt's face into a proud smirk. 

Seemingly unaware of the budding rivalry, you laughed. 'It's a long story.“ 

Swiping his cane along the ground forcefully, Matt gulped in the chilly autumn air in an attempt to soothe his pounding heart. The scent of your and Everett’s combined arousal lingered on his coat, in his nose, across his tongue. Every inhale fueled his rage, and he needed to let it out. 

Thankfully, there was a place that could offer him solace despite the late hour. 

Plastic tapping along asphalt, he masterfully wove through the crowds and down the streets until reaching the musty building he'd been searching for. The door was ajar, propped open with a mop bucket. Steel hinges creaked as he pried open the door, stepping around the cleaning supplies and into the familiar space. 

Taking careful steps across the damp concrete, he let his eyes fall closed as the sounds of swinging chains and the ever-present scent of sweat brought him back to his childhood. Blurry images of men with comically red gloves and worn vinyl punching bags flashed through his mind, interspersed with a fading picture of his late father. Swallowing roughly, he continued his march into the empty space, running a hand over the eroded ropes in the center of the room. 

”Sorry kid, we're closed,“ A gruff voice broke through the silence. 

Shuffling away from the boxing ring, Matt raised a hand in apology. “Sorry, uh, it's been a while since I—“

“You're Battlin' Jack's boy, ain't ya?” The older man cut him off, stepping towards Matt and giving him a once over. 

Matt's jaw trembled with emotion, but he nodded slowly. “Uh, yes sir, I am.” 

“Been a long time since I've seen ya 'round, kid. Life been good to ya?“ The janitor asked, swiping the mop head across the floor and diverting his gaze from Matt. 

”It's been alright. The gym doing ok?“ Shifting from foot to foot, Matt suddenly felt exposed. It had been foolish to assume this place would welcome him back in the middle of the night.

”Not too bad, had to cut our hours though. Ya know how it is.“ 

Matt nodded politely. ”I understand. I'm sorry to intrude,“ Grasping his cane, he started for the door but the older man stopped him.

”Wait, wait. I ain't gonna kick ya out, kid. You're practically family, come here whenever ya'd like.“ 

”Are you sure? I don't want to impose.“ 

”Course I'm sure. I've gotta head home—just lock up for me, will ya?” 

Heavy steps shuffled closer to Matt, an outstretched hand offering a worn key. Accepting the jagged brass object, a bloom of warmth filled Matt's chest. “Oh I...I mean—”

The man laughed heartily. ”It ain't gonna bite ya. Just don't leave the lights on too long and we're golden.“ 

”I'm sure that won't be a problem.“ Matt snorted.

Chuckling deeply, the other man clapped him on the shoulder. ”Fair enough. Use the key whenever you'd like, kid. Don't be a stranger.“ 

”Thank you, um...“

”Ron, Ron Clark. Nice to see ya again.“ 

”Thank you, Ron. Have a good night.“

”You too.“ Another squeeze of Matt's shoulder and the other man headed out. 

Standing still for a moment, Matt turned the key over in his palm, savoring the swell of pride and gratitude before slipping the chunk of metal into his pocket and stripping out of his coat. 

It hadn't been too long since he'd trained, but he was definitely rusty. His muscles practically shrieked beneath his skin as he ran through some exercises Stick used to drill him with, stationed at a spare punching bag. The punches he threw were wobbly and his stance was crooked, but the repetitive motion still began to drain the tension from his shoulders. 

Adjusting his position, the corners of his mouth twitched upwards as he fell back into a familiar rhythm. The solid weight of the sand against his knuckles chipped away at the darkness that had been swirling around him for days. Each hit was deliberate and, telling himself it was just to work on his accuracy, he started envisioning Everett's face being pummeled by his fists. Though he'd never seen it, Matt was more than happy bombarding the vague idea of your boyfriend with precise hits. 

Everett. Evs. The boy who swept you off your feet before Matt could even work up the nerve to tell you how he felt. A man who simultaneously paid Matt no mind and was far too invested in the blind man's connection to you. Were his feelings for you so obvious that your boyfriend felt the need to drive a wedge between the pair of you? 

You never seemed to mind Matt's flirting and general touchiness, though he wasn't sure if you were aware that you drew that side of him out more often than anyone else. Everett seemed to know, given the way he had so easily marked your delicate skin. 

Growling, Matt drove his hands into the swinging cylinder with more force. Was Everett the only guy allowed to hangout with you? To hug you? To rest your head against his shoulder? He could mark you up all he wanted, it wouldn't stop Matt from holding your hand or kissing your cheek or thinking about kissing every goddamn inch of you as your heart pounded. 

Anger churned in his gut at the thought of the cocky 3rd year claiming every inch of you, drawing sounds out of you that Matt could only imagine. 

His cock twitched as he fantasized. What would it be like to claim you as his, have you wrapped around him—underneath him. Would you sound like any of the other girls he'd been with? There was no doubt you'd sound sweeter. Mewling at his touches, screaming his name when he inevitably made you climax. 

Panting breathlessly as phantom cries of pleasure ricocheted off the perimeter of his skull, Matt's logic and consideration flew out the window as he ripped off his tight jeans—all thoughts centered on your gorgeous figure and how you already responded to him. 

Your past relationships had been so underwhelming that a few hickeys got you riled up? Matt could blow that out of the water. He doubted Everett was a very giving partner, he'd have to make that up to you. Would you want him to please you? To taste you? Matt was sure you tasted divine.

His back arched off of the cool concrete as he came, hand unwittingly wrapped around his cock. As his arousal faded, guilt came crashing in. He couldn't help if thoughts of you slipped in when he touched himself in the comforts of his room but coming in public at the idea of tasting you? He needed help. 

Blushing furiously, he ran to the locker rooms to clean himself up.

Shaking her head at the sound of mischievous giggling, Maggie pinched out the last of the candles and began walking toward the double doors. “You know, this is your last chance to leave the chapel before the ghosts arrive.” She spoke calmly, not turning her head toward the two boys crouched behind a pew to her left.

A small, hesitant voice piped up. ”Ghosts?“ The other boy shushed the first, resulting in a small scuffle. 

Stifling a smile, she nodded gravely, pausing by an empty pew within eyesight of the troublemakers. “That's right. Darn building is full of them. Nasty little spirits who like to haunt little boys.”

“They what!!?” One of the boys asked, horrified. 

“Yep. They like to chase them around, pull out their hair, and force them to eat vegetables.”

Shrieking, the young boys darted out from behind the bench and ran quickly out the door towards the dormitory. 

Preening at her accomplishment, she was about to lock up when a new voice startled her. 

“Still using the ghost method, huh?”

Whirling around, she brought a hand up to rest on her heart when she recognized the young man before her. Huffing out an irritated breath, she greeted him. “Matthew.”

Nervously, he returned the curt nod she gave him. “Sister.”

“It's nice to see you, though I will be the first to tell you we do not have space to board grown men.”

Chuckling, Matt adjusted his grip on his cane. “Your faith in me is endless, Sister. I still have a place to live, I just came for confession.”

Crossing her arms, Maggie raised a brow. “It's a bit late for confession, Matthew. Come back tomorrow.”

”I know it's late, I just—“

“Matthew,” Father Lantom appeared in the entrance to the chapel, expression and tone much more appreciative of Matt's presence than Maggie seemed. “It's nice to see you, son. How is it out there?”

Smiling proudly, Matt leaned into the hand Lantom placed on his shoulder. “It's wonderful, Father. I'm sorry to have disturbed you, I'll come back tomorrow like Sister Maggie suggested.” The Father's grasp on his arm tightened marginally. 

”Nonsense. You are always welcome here. Did you want to sit in the Confessional, or can I offer you a cup of tea first?“ 

Jaw tightening as his ears rang with Maggie's incredulous scoff, he shook his head. “No, I shouldn't have come, I—“

“Maggie, would you mind lighting a few candles? Matthew, have a seat. I'll be back with something for you to drink. Is chamomile ok?”

Nodding apprehensively, Matt shuffled over to a bench and sat down, turning the foam handle of his cane in his palms as Lantom headed off. 

His pulse pounded in the tense silence as Maggie lit three of the lanterns closest to him. 

“I'm sorry, Sister, I wasn't thinking—” 

“You weren't. Though it seems the Father is still happy to indulge your whims, even if you aren't our responsibility any more.”

Ducking his head in embarrassment, Matt chewed the inside of his cheek, the Sister's scolding stoking his towering flames of guilt. “I can still leave.”

“I think the time for that has passed, Matthew.” Sitting at the opposite end of the pew, she sighed. “Is school everything you hoped for?”

The question was an obvious olive branch, and Matt accepted it gratefully. “It's a very different environment. Full of sin, you'd hate it.”

Maggie chuckled, weaving her fingers together and studying the boy. He looked well enough, apprehensive and ashamed, sure, but fed and rested. He'd clearly been taking decent care of himself, which is more than she could've asked for. 

Firm steps echoed in the cavernous building as Lantom returned, holding a carefully balanced tray of three ceramic cups. “Maggie, I assume you'll be joining us?” He gave her a pointed look and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes. 

“I'd love to.” She smiled, accepting one of the steaming cups. 

Matt smirked at her exaggerated apathy, accepting his own drink. “Thank you both. I'm sorry for my timing.” 

“Our doors are always open for you, Matthew. What did you feel the need to confess?”

Blushing at the reminder of his unholy actions, he sighed. “I've been...preoccupied as of late, with...impure thoughts. And I'm not quite sure how to reconcile that.” 

Listening to Maggie's heart stutter, it seemed she was equally uncomfortable with her presence in this conversation, yet she made no attempt to leave.

Father Lantom, on the other hand, nodded thoughtfully. “Sinful thoughts are different from sinful actions Matthew. Our minds cannot be controlled to the same degree.”

“I know that, it's just...” Scrubbing a hand over his face, Matt grit his teeth in frustration. “These thoughts, they're mostly about one girl. And they've become more frequent since she began dating someone else.” 

“You're close with this girl?” Lantom asked, tilting his head in brief understanding. 

Matt nodded mournfully, raking fingers through his hair. “Very. She's one of two friends I have and one of the best people I've ever known. But, lately, I can't even be in the same room as her without getting angry because...because she's not mine.” 

Maggie blew out an exasperated breath. “Women are not possessions, Matthew.” 

“I know that! I just mean,I—” Spluttering, Matt failed to find the words to justify his admission. God, he was just as bad as Everett.

“Take a breath, my child.” Father Lantom instructed. “Have you told this girl how you feel?” 

Shaking his head, eyes wide, Matt's words were more forceful than intended. “No, God no!”

“Language.” Maggie scolded. 

“Forgive me, Sister. I'm just...terrified that I'll lose her. And I feel like I can no longer control myself, which means I might lose her anyways.” Blinking rapidly to dry the tears forming in his eyes, Matt snapped his jaw shut before his emotions began to crack the steadiness of his voice. 

“Quite the predicament you've landed yourself in, poor boy.” Lantom squeezed Matt's forearm reassuringly, gazing upwards in thought. “As uncertain as it can seem, His plan for us is often for our own good, Matthew. Perhaps, your friend's involvement with another is a path for you to settle for the friendship you have, at least for the time being.”

“If that was his plan, then why does it feel like she's slipping away?” His words were quiet, dense with fear and shame. 

“Love makes people do stupid things, Matthew,” Maggie remarked. “Does she know that you think she's been distant?”

“No,” Matt admitted. 

“Tell her then, you ridiculous boy.” Maggie encouraged, voice softening as she added, “If she chooses to change her behavior, well, it's up to you how to proceed.”

Lantom nodded, “As for your own thoughts, that's a bit tricky. Speaking with her and focusing on a platonic relationship might help, it might not. Remember that God searches the heart and tests the mind, this might simply be a test of your connection to this woman or of your own patience.”

“He is definitely testing my patience.” Matt muttered, drawing laughs out of both Maggie and Lantom. “Thank you both for listening, and for your assistance. I'll get out of your hair now.” 

“It was lovely to see you, Matthew. We can discuss the outcome of your conversation the next time you attend Mass.” The pastor stood, allowing Matt to exit the pew. 

“Take care, Matthew.” Maggie lifted a hand in goodbye as the two watched the younger boy retreat.

Thank you for reading my lovelies!

Taglist: @eugene-emt-roe@abbyhaslongshorts@mrs-bellingham@abucketofweird@yeonalie@jadeunstablexx@spider-murdock@0ctober-writes@danzer8705

[pedrito-friskito]

I’m baaaaaaaaaaaack. 😇

friskito has returned!! didja miss me?

I never meant to disappear into the ether like I did, and I can’t guarantee this is me 100% back to where I was, but we are taking life as it comes, folks!

my darling @prolix-yuy tagged me in a wip game a few weeks ago, so I figured what better way to announce my return than to tell you what I’m working on and what’s coming soon! (also, just as a little note, I’m gonna start posting a lot more on ao3 as well!)

so, without further ado….

STRAWBERRY WINE: you didn’t think I was gonna leave this one unfinished, did you? I’ve got not 1, not 2, but 4 parts completed, ready to be edited and posted once the motivation grabs hold. part 32 will be up FEBRUARY 3RD (brace yourselves!)

DISOBEDIENCE (PART II): I said there’d be a part 2 when I posted part 1 back in….October, and it is officially in the works. no date, but we’re getting there.

BLACK BUTTERFLIES and DÉJÀ VU: the Soap Mactavish little sister AU nobody asked for…reader x Ghost, follows the timeline of the MWIII game (did I cry playing the game? yup. did I cry writing parts of this fic? also yup) - not complete but multiple parts, part 1 will be up FEBRUARY 5TH.

ONE PLUS ONE: for my calculated risks lovers! I truly cannot believe it’s been a year since I update this story, but one is on its way! a glimpse into their wedding night, and some well-deserved shenanigans…! this will be up FEBRUARY 14TH!

and I can’t really classify these at WIPs because have I started them? nope. do I really want to write them? uh YES.

CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS: I hinted at this one before - santi garcia x reader x frankie morales. based on the tswift song, prepare for angst and drama and a sprinkling of heat.

THE UNTITLED DIN DJARIN HOCKEY AU: I know there’s gonna be 4 parts (like 4 periods in a hockey game hahahaha) but is there a plot yet? nope. all I know so far is rink medic x hockey player din, modern setting, the rest has yet to come to me!

so there you have it! my inbox is open if anyone wants to say hi (or has thoughts about anything that’s on the horizon!) xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxo

and tagging a few potentially interested peeps (again i’m SORRY I LEFT FOR SO LONG 😭)

@iamskyereads @psychedelic-ink @inklore @winchestershiresauce @thevoiceinyourheadx @theradioactivespidergwen @wildemaven @amywritesthings @steadyasthe-flowers @undercoverpena @splendiferous-bitch @munsonownsmyass @alwritey-aphrodite @vermillionwinter @spacecowboyhotch @nothoughtsjustmeds @saintmurd0ck 💕

[joeloverture]

In the nicest possible way the constant teasers and announcements for your fics are a little overwhelming and clog up the joel/reader tags that are for fics when they're being recommended or posted! We follow the updates blog for a reason!

hi honey. so there’s a couple reasons why i do them, actually.

1. you can opt to block tags! i tag every one with #🫀vetty’s sneak peeks if it really does bother you.

2. they drive traction to my updates blog. i have gotten 8 more followers over there since posting the teaser last night.

3. i like people to know what im working on! people post their wip wednesdays under these tags. i wasn’t feeling too well wednesday so i posted my wip friday.

4. they are absolutely not constant lol. god savors the day i become healthy enough to post wips constantly. i posted my most recent fic teaser before this…two weeks ago!

5. the reception to them seems pretty strong and convinces me to keep going with the draft. everyone wants some motivation! people like it, i keep writing it. writing is extremely solitary — it’s not some communal thing. having a wall to bounce things off of and actually get responses like “woah this sounds so good” or “cant wait!” is a big component of my continued writing habit

again, i understand it might annoy you, but at the end of the day, it makes sense for me to post little teasers!! ive had people tell me how much they love them before, and if i don’t tag them, nobody will see them

[autisticlancemcclain]

thank u @zenstrike for the tag <333333333 i see ur mic and i'm elated about it

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

185! but i haven't updated in like a week and a half so we're probably closer to 190

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

556,104. i am very excited to watch it jump up when i finally finish my longfic teehee

3. what fandoms do you write for?

literally just voltron lol. well not counting baby me's wattpad lol. i started writing almost two years ago and just went ham basically. i've been intentionally avoiding things that i know i will get hyperfixated on bc i don't want to stop my writing obsession lol

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

ooooou i'm excited to check. i know it's changed quite a bit over time. i usually sort them by hits!

i will grind you to sand (beneath my louboutin heels) [voltron, 2573 words]: bamf lance fic where i give him a revolver and let him go ham basically

mr. snuggles [voltron, 1656 words]: one of my very earliest fics! lance, lover of weirdo animals, finds a demonic cat-sized spider and adopts it despite his friend's freakouts

he might not look like he gets bitches (but honey that dick was eleven inches) [voltron, 1136 words]: this one is so dorky lol but it's just secret relationship klance coming to light in the most embarrassing possible way

does anyone know where the love of god goes (when the waves turn the minutes to hours) [voltron, 4283]: a canon divergence au where lance is a seer and convinces the skeptics on his team of his abilities by ending the war

this is the part of me that you're never gonna ever get away) [voltron, 3262 words]: a lance & shiro hurt/comfort with a small autistic lance character study! i'm very proud of this one

5. do you respond to comments?

i definitely do on tumblr! it's one of the first things i do when i wake up actually. on ao3, though...i'm pretty sure i have about eight hundred unanswered comments sitting in my inbox 💀 it's an ongoing issue

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm almost sure it's this post-game show lance leaving fic, because i got comments and asks for weeks begging me to write a happy ending lol. but this fic from the hana universe, from when keith is little and shiro is fighting for custody and they haven't figured things out yet. that one is sad. this dream pov adashi fic is also sad and has no happy ending bc, you know. shiro is in space and adam thinks he's dead and everything. my loneliest series is also still in progress and as such there is no happy ending. and this is my earliest angsty-ending fic with MCD

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh god pretty much everything i write has a happy ending?? if i’m being serious?? frankly i don’t do a lot of linear plot. i just write Scenes that are vaguely connected. BUT my h2o fic had a plot that ended happily, as did my cowboy fic, but truly i’m more of a slice of life kinda gal. all my active wips are plot-driven, though, and i plan for all of them to end happily.

8. do you get hate on fics?

oh god yeah. i get it on brown eyed lance, autistic lance, adhd keith, allura just in general (are you sensing a pattern), my refusal to use readmores, and lately just some demands for me to write differently/more?? most of it is just funny so i post it to goof on it lol, but some of it i just delete and pout about until i forget about it 💀

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes and it’s nasty and i will literally never ever post it. although i guess i’ve written some softer stuff that’s more allusion than anything, like in my loneliest series.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not anymore, but i did when i was a kid?? i think i wrote a pjo/hoo/divergent/the mortal instruments/homestuck/a bunch of other shit fic when i was 13. i’ve successfully blocked that era out of my mind tho so i’m not sure. i do a lot of insane aus, tho. i wrote a fic based off a country song written in the sixties. so.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i’ve had people write continuations of my wips?? which i didn’t rly like. i just ignored it.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

someone has asked me about translating a fic before! haven’t heard anything since tho.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have tried. i’m not very good at it. i have very Specific ideas about things and can be very controlling, so it’s honestly better that i don’t lol.

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

klance, easy. been in the trenches of this goddamn fandom since i was 13 years of age. it’s been a Journey.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

god, the butterfly effect. i get people asking me to update all the time and i genuinely feel bad, because i have absolutely no ideas or plans for it. i might try to come up with an ending of some kind?? but i wrote that like two years ago, so i have changed a LOT about my writing since then.

16. what are your writing strengths?

dialogue and humour, i think. and sometimes writing lack of emotional communication (if that makes sense — i like to try and write around an emotion).

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i over explain a lot. and i overuse dialog ur tags sometimes. i have a Very Specific scene playing out in my head and i want everyone else to see it like i’m seeing it, which is my downfall a lot. i’ve been trying to work on implicit stage directions.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i think sometimes it’s necessary? it can be a good tool for humour, like with cussing that can’t be achieved in english. but while i understand and read several languages i have always always struggled to speak or write in them. it’s very frustrating so i often avoid the subject entirely lol.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

i’ve been writing fanfic in my head since before i knew what it was, but i started typing things at around 11 when i used to homestuck roleplay with my friends lol. messy messy times.

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?

oh i am my own target audience. i have several.

i need a man (who’s patient and kind): keith-centric post canon (divergence) fic where lance takes him to his family and keith is good with kids and just keith being loved is the whole point. always.

what if i lose it all: an alternate universe where lance, as a baby, loses both his parents, and then is raised by his oldest siblings. in luis’ pov.

when does a ripple become a tidal wave (when does the reason become the flame): brogane fight & angst canon divergence post season 6; covering shiro’s guilt complex and keith’s unwavering loyalty

he’s into superstitions (black cats and voodoo dolls): halloween verse with witch lance and vampire keith! i have barely spoken about this au on here but rest assured i’m thinking about it all the fucking time

the applebee’s universe: modern au with young keith and lance learning how to love each other

ceilings (plaster): non-linear dream-like fic that’s just so trippy and strange i’m obsessed with it

if the sky comes falling down (for you) there’s nothing in this world i wouldn’t do: a keith character study about how the biggest bleeding heart in the universe loves

the hana universe: brogane-centric universe as their family starts rocky and grows

thank u again for the tag zen <33 open offer for anyone else who would like to hop on!!

[you-remind-me-of-the-babe]

An ask game for writers to procrastinate working on your WIPs

Thank you for tagging me @ic3-que3n @theearlgreymage @wellbelesbian @shrekgogurt @orange-peony @youarenevertooold @whatevertheweather @thewholelemon @cutestkilla @aristocratic-otter @monbons @emeryhall @valeffelees (wow everyone is out here playing huh?)

🦈Tell us the name of your / one of your WIP(s)

As of right now, I’m going with Back and Back and Back but that may change.

🍄Decscribe your wip / one of your wips in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

Past flashbacks in which Baz grows up being visited by an older Simon in the woods outside his house in Hampshire + current 7th year Simon suddenly finds himself traveling back in time to visit young Baz = both Simon and Baz trying to figure out what’s happening in the present, resulting in them falling in love in a mesh of past and present

🌍What tags or warnings will your / one of your wip(s) need if you intend to share it?

Soulmates, time travel, canon divergent, Watford-era, angst with a happy ending, kid!Baz, lightly inspired by Time Traveler’s Wife.

🧭An alternative title to your / one of your WIP(s)?

I mentioned this last week, but I quite like Start at the End, even though I don’t think it technically is accurate or describes the fic.

⚠️Which wip you’re most likely to finish or update next?

Idk, this one will be quite long, but everything else in my WIP folder are just attempts at starting a premise I liked, but none of them have gotten much traction, so probably this one? Hopefully?

💾What is your document of your wip / a wip called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as)

Time Travel AU

🖍Post Any sentence from your wip

He whistles, looking around and finally taking the time to fully appreciate the tree house.

“Did you make this?”

“With help,” I explain. “Some from Father. Mostly from you.”

His eyebrows raise in surprise. That’s one thing I’ve yet to figure out, why he forgets. Sometimes, he remembers our past visits with more detail than I do. As if they’d just happened the day before instead of years ago. Other times, he can’t remember something as big as building a treehouse with me. He reminds me of my grandmother, when her dementia had its grips on her. She’d recall something from her childhood so clearly, and the next minute, she’d forget my name.

Father didn’t want me to call attention to it in front of her. He said it would only make her more confused. So I don’t mention it to him, either. We just sort of…dance around it, without mentioning it outright. (He’d fit right in with my family, honestly.) I just clarify things and then we move on.

♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP

I was thinking about having the Humdrum be a time traveling younger Simon, or something like that, in addition to current Simon being a time traveler. Like, they discover there’s another version of him traveling, but I thought that would be too confusing. So instead, he’s just the regular ol’ Humdrum.

🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

I have a lil Drabble in my head about Baz being sad while his wedding ring is getting fixed by the jewelers for a week so Simon has to cheer him up. (It me. Rubbing my empty ring finger all week while it’s getting fixed and I hate it not being there.)

🤡How many Wips are you actively working on?

Actively? I think just this one right now. There are about 4 other half starts from earlier this year when I was just throwing spaghetti noodles at the wall to see what stuck. Some of them I may come back to if I get a burst of inspiration or something.

🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

(One of) the big reveals because the scene carries a lot of emotional weight, and I want to do it right.

❤️Not a question, just a second kudos to send.

And kudos to anyone who read this far!

Anyone else want to play? @facewithoutheart @hushed-chorus @iamamythologicalcreature @ileadacharmedlife @blackberrysummerblog @run-for-chamo-miles @mooncello @angelsfalling16 @artsyunderstudy and anyone else interested! 💜

[panelshowsource]

masterpost update... 🥹

hi guys it's been a minute 🥹 as i mentioned, i was working on updating the masterpost this past week, moving a large bulk of content onto my panelshowsource googledrive account, because i think everything stored there will be easily accessible and safe long term :)

the masterpost is the same original link it's been since it was established over 5 years ago! always bookmark the original post, not a reblog and not this post, so you have access to the most updated version & its links!

—

i had to do some reorganising of the post because of tumblr's latest round of post restrictions:

i'm not able to provide many alternative links because i'm nearly at the link limit as it is, but i think what's provided is reliable and you can always send an ask if a link needs updating!

since i can no longer give every series its own photo header, everything is organised by bolded text and bullet points, which will look and read best on desktop opposed to mobile (mobile seems to despise indentation)

—

a few notes regarding specific titles:

i did add all of taskmaster to my drive due to overwhelming requests, but only s1–4+15 are in 1080p, so i will begin updating the 720p files to 1080p over the next couple of weeks. thanks for your patience! in the meantime, you can watch them in hd on youtube ofc! i'll also update hypothetical as i get those locked down

i...i wanna say something so honest... i really don't care about a league of their own and most of you don't seem to either. it's a huge hassle organising the episodes because — not to say this for the third time in two sentences — but most people don't care much about it and haven't made the effort to keep it archived. we haven't seen a source for a complete series 6 in, like, 8 years. i'm not going to be making an effort to log that title for the time being. sorry if that's an inconvenience, but feel free to use the resources linked in my faq for your own research!

i added all of travel man (720p) and bridget christie's the change (1080p) to the misc watch links post (link below). i'll work on finishing upstart crow and then adding the rest of as yet untitled, game face, man down, and the cleaner!

i will continue uploading as-hd-as-possible versions of cats does countdown to my youtube channel and will eventually get them all on drive, but that's a slow process; i don't spend much time on youtube because half the commenters are tossers and deleting their negativity to keep it a fun space doesn't always leave me in a good mood 😡😡😡

i know a ton of celeb juice is on youtube but i haven't gotten around to organising it into a playlist (at least), but it's on my to-do list!

—

if you want to contribute to the post, i'm currently seeking these!

ask rhod gilbert

breaking the news (mostly looking for the tv version)

the news quiz (s97–current...i might have a source but it's a slow wip...)

there's something about movies

mel giedroyc unforgivable s03

—

➭ PANEL SHOW MASTERPOST

woooooooo

➭ ADDITIONAL WATCH LINKS

more wooooooooo

—

i'm going to tentatively open my requests (for watch links & gifs) so feel free to send a polite ask for something you may be seeking. it's much easier for me to keep track of asks than dms, if you don't mind sending there :)

okay friends enjoy! ヽ(゜∇゜)ノ

—

WATCH LINKS MASTERPOST / FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[wellbelesbian]

an ask game for writers to procrastinate working on your WIP(s)

thanks for tagging me @theearlgreymage!

1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s):

comfortable coats, calico cats, and collapsible canes. i just liked the alliteration.

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

artist + nude model = flustered

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it?

oof, there's one that might need a major character death warning. but haven't fully made up my mind yet.

4. 🧭An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)?

the very last thing i do is title a fic, so none of them have alternative titles.

5. ⚠️Which WIP your most likely to finish or update next?

my first sapphic week fic, for the prompts moonlight and reflect.

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as)

my trojan war novel ones are all titled Part One Astyanax, Part Two Briseis, Part Three Hermione, and so on.

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP.

“Where’s your hat?”

“Crowley, I think I left it at the cafe!” I realise with a start, and we both dissolve into giggles.

“I’ll buy you a new one.” Simon offers.

“It cost £60.”

“It did not!” He looks at me incredulously.

“It’s designer!”

“I will buy you a cheaper replacement.”

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP.

i scrapped the idea of Natasha and Malcolm having marital problems in blow on the tinder, it ended up feeling unnecessary and just slowing down the plot.

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

a few years ago i toyed with the idea of a Carry On Once Upon A Time In Space AU, and i've started thinking over it again, but haven't made a start.

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on?

at least 10, which is a lot more than i usually have at one time.

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

i'm struggling to get Margaret and Blue's voices right, i need to reread their chapters in WS.

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send.

thank you!

tagging my fellow writers so they can procrastinate too: @forabeatofadrum @j-nipper-95 @artsyunderstudy @that-disabled-princess @prettygoododds @confused-bi-queer @imagineacoolusername @ic3-que3n @aristocratic-otter @larkral @hushed-chorus @ivelovedhimthroughworse @shemakesmeforget @fatalfangirl @ebbpettier @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @cutestkilla @youarenevertooold @alexalexinii @shrekgogurt @bookish-bogwitch @thewholelemon @supercutedinosaurs @shutup-andletme-go @ileadacharmedlife @alleycat0306 @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @comesitintheclover @blackberrysummerblog and @orange-peony

[nerdieforpedro]

Wednesday WIP

It's hump day people! So that means it's time to find out what everyone is working on! 😎 As for your girl Nerdie, I have a few things in the works: two Dieter fics, two Marcus Pike fics, and Dave/Santi.

@iamasaddie Popped out a dark Valentine's Day prompt and past Nerdie said sure! Thus we're going to have a different version of Marcus Pike. (Not “Daddy” I made a slight edit to the prompt). He might be a bit manipulative, but it's for your benefit. Not odd at all. It's still in bullet points and some of them may change I gave @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin a preview so have to ask her if it makes any sense. 😄 (The above gif is how I picture this Marcus. Like he looks so sweet, but sir, SIR! But also we're okay with it, maybe.)

@magpiepills gave me an excellent idea for meeting Marcus Pike at a motel based off a Tag game we did a week or two ago. I've thought of three parts for the thing. I just gotta write it. That will be the Marcus fluff we know and love. 💕

@angelofsmalldeath-codeine Sweetly asked if there was an update on my chapter Dieter series "Weddings 101 with Dieter." I am working on chapter 4, I just have to work out the details. The devil is there and he is mocking me. 😈 The Horny Delegation's High Chancellor has high expectations. Maybe I should have written it a little worse. 🤗

Dave/Santi have their bullet points mostly. I did start on them. Maybe February @for-a-longlongtime It needs a lot more meat, lube, cargo pants and zip ties. There may be a preview of that next week along with some Santiago smut. The Santi x reader smut will be @rhoorl (she started it with her ask) and @legendary-pink-dot fault who sent me one journalist's investigative piece on Oscar's Dune beard. 🤣 I also blame Pinterest. You search “Oscar Isaac beard” one time. Sheesh. 😒

I finished my addition to the PMAMC 2024 challenge organized by the talented @wannab-urs and, well, it's done and out there. 👀 Read the other ones and come back to mine, if you think about it. This week is everyone is posting so there will be a masterlist up later with everyone who participated.

I'll end with a small preview of my Dieter Brovo one-shot:

God he needs to feel you, the pocket pussy he has is alright but he needs your full weight on him. You mewling at him, giving him silent direction as he tries to make you vocalize more. Dieter’s aware he’s often loud enough for the both of you and he finds that hearing the few moans that you will give him, fill him with a sense of accomplishment. He remembered that you’d told him that it was difficult to climax sometimes and actually you’ve reached your peak so much more often with him than other partners, because he cared to find out where your spots are, what makes you feel good. Your hushed noises weren’t an indication that he wasn’t doing well, you just weren't used to making sounds during sex. Since the two of you met at a club where you had misplaced your shoes and Dieter let you borrow his crocs, you’d been seeing each other when you could. It was one of the few stable relationships Dieter had outside of his business team.

So that’s all I have this week. 🤗 See you next week!

No pressure tags: @fhatbhabie @trulybetty @morallyinept @maggiemayhemnj @pedroshotwifey @megamindsecretlair @i-own-loki @secretelephanttattoo @goodwithcheese @ladybess-a03 @laurfilijames @musings-of-a-rose @undercoverpena @avastrasposts @chronically-ghosted @gwendibleywrites

[lavendelhummel]

20 Questions about writing 2.0

One year ago @lilolilyr tagged me in this ask game and I answered it. I thought it might be fun to take the questions again and see what has changed and what hasn’t (probably most of it), since this past year I have actually interacted with fandom and not just been shy in my corner. Here is what I said last year (it was a year and a week ago, okay, but this last week was interesting because I had something huge that kept me from writing the past few months happen the week before and I am now trying to recover and wrap my head about the fact that my life changed quite drastically), let’s see what I’m saying now:

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

16 ;) quite a few more than last years 7, but most of the new ones are one-shots, only one finished multichapter and one multichaptered WIP (Jump).

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

209,412 words. Last year it was 125k and seeing as there are quite a few WIPs waiting in my folders for a while I thought I’d actually end up writing 100k words of fic this year, but seeing as I moved 4 times during that time and kind of finished a degree (hi I am a doctor now, someone remind me to delete this, I don’t want to doxx myself but need to repeat it so I can actually believe it), I think it’s kind of okay to only have written what I have and I am a it vexed that I did let this self-set number stress me in addition to the pretty big stress I had anyway. I think I wrote some nice things and certainly developed as a writer! (As well as as a… ah best not say it twice in one paragraph)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Last year I said Moiraine and Siuan from The Wheel of time here, which I wrote less for this past year but I’d still count, I have 1 1/2 wips for them and updated one of my fics in that fandom last spring. I also have one fic in the WoT verse with different characters (exciting)! I also said that I once wrote for I Care A Lot, and well, it’s still true that that was my entry to posting fic, but also I’m not going back (nope, not happening). This past year I wrote mostly Bering and Wells from Warehouse 13! That was great fun! I am also playing with a few ideas for Star Trek: deep space 9 at the moment, but haven’t yet written anything. 

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

 The first three are the same as last year (the I care a lot - one shot collection, Siuaraine medical school AU, other AU for them). The other two are the the first door for last years B&W advent calendar (coolest project ever, see below), and my coolest fic: mermaid B&W AU (only Helena is a mermaid. She arrives in Myka’s apartment above her bookstore via her old-new washing machine from Pete’s laundromat. Bathtubes are not very comfortable to live in.)

I should add that neither of these two has many kudos, none of my fics apart from hat ical one has, which shows that it’s extremely fandom dependent because that one is by far worse than my newer ones - just in a fandom with very little fic. 

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

YES! Why?! Because I like talking to people! And getting a comment is the best so I want to tell people that they are the best! Also I like talking and talking and try to make me shut up, it’s harder than you think! (Last year I had a screenshot for the weirdest comment I ever got here, from a guest who named themself „weird ass“ and said nothing but „tea snob“, I still don’t know if they meant me or Moiraine, so I asked them. So yeah I reply. Even to the weird asses)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Most of what I write has a happy ending, yeah I am boring like that. But for Laundry Day, afore mentioned Mermaid AU, I left two possible endings, one in which Helena learns to live with what she’s lost, but it is clear that there is grief, that she is still a fish out of water and that while they make it work, it is not easy going. And then, because I wanted to wrap the mystery fantasy part up and needed the satisfaction of bundling up all loose threads I added an epilogue, a sugary, ‚happiest ending of them all’ epilogue… so yeah. Other than that I only have the one I mentioned last year about Helena dealing with her grief by reading Jacques Prévert’s poetry, which also ends on a soothing note but, I mean it’s Helena, and it’s Prévert. Let’s be honest, we all know why I absolutely adore Prévert, oh god, make me shut up now before I start (do you want to know which cool rare books of his I found?)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Well. Happ*iest*. I did just mention that the epilogue of Laundry Day is the happiest ending of them all, right? I also think Pretty Picture has a pretty fluffy cozy ending (winter, go read it now ;)) ending. Flower crowns is just pure fluff, so that doesn’t count as *ending*, it’s just happy in its entirety. 

The medical school AU: would have been nice to get them all the way through it so they could celebrate at the end right? Though I had plans to make it go on after the ending of uni so Lan could come in and after a time jump the ef5 as well, so not the actual ending but a *moment*. Anyway that didn’t work out, and the ending they have is very nice and rather happy as well. Think about it, that is a much happier ending than I am feeling having actually finished medical school now (but let’s not talk about my inability to celebrate myself, nor my exhaustion). 

8. Do you get hate on fic?

I did already mention "weird ass", right? Yeah also mentioned last year how the very first comment I got was pretty discouraging. But I wouldn’t call it hate, no. I mostly get very, very, little reaction to my fics anyway, so missing the positive kind but not the negative kind. 

9. Do you write smut?

No. Not because I don’t like reading it, but because I am incapable of it. Sad, but it is what it is. I did get closer than ever, in Fly Me To The Moon! Everyone gasping, yes scandalous look how close I am alluding to it!!! But yeah, still nothing happening, if anyone ever wants to pick up where I left off, feel free, that’d be fun! (I also have a few other fade to black scenes, but this is *different*… kinkier? in a not on page happing way?) 

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nope, also don’t read them. It’s simply something that doesn’t interest me. 

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No. Or at least, not as far as I know. 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. My fics are not very well known, so someone wanting to base a work on it/translate would be surprising. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! One with @lilolilyr , which was super cool, but mostly we did the advent calendar last year!!!! That was super duper duper duper fun! Seriously guys, I enjoyed it so much and wish it had worked out again (I did have a cool idea for it, as I laid out on discord, but in the end it was simply not possible for me to do anything writing/fandom related (or basically anything but survive) in November and even now in December I do not know yet if I’ll be able to. Depends on how well this resting thing I’m trying out works, because at the moment my brain is still fried. Even writing this is giving me a headache right *sad emoji*)

But yes, writing that together was amazing.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I’ll just name the same ones, Moiraine/Siuan, Myka/Helena and recently I’ve come to like Kiradax, but that’s obviously not all-time material yet, since, well 'recently'. 

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Hmm, I do hope (and think!) I’ll finish all those that I once worked on seriously. Wait, the Helena reads Astrid Lindgren one, I’m not sure… There is also one super short Siuaine one, but that was never serious. 

Hm, maybe I also won’t make the Nyneave&Semirhage one??! I do hope so, but it is a bit out of my league… HMMM

Mostly there are some fun ideas that I thought I’d write, a lot actually, but what I seriously wanted to do was Siuraine Mermaid AU, and B&W MRI AU, and I don’t think they’ll happen, alongside a few others. But that’s life! 

Last year I mentioned the Uni-AU here, and I do consider that one finished now, not as I envisioned originally but it has an ending that makes sense and is an ending and I probably won’t write more (never say never). 

16. What are your writing strengths?

Urghh that question. Someone important (professionally, not personally to me) said „Why not simply believe in yourself?“ To me the other day. Well I couldn’t very well tell him about my incessant selfdoubt across a conference table with 3 other very important, and three somewhat less important people, watching, could I? So I will try this again and also try to say something else here than last year. 

…

@rinari7 said my dialogue feels alive! I think I am also able to get into the heads of people and write thought-strands pretty realistically. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think those thought-strands sometimes can get too much, and I loose myself in them. In general my sentences are way too long, for that I blame Cicero, who was a very forming influence to twelve year old wannabe-writer me. 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

 Haha. Yeah. Yeah. It’s good. We are talking other language than English right? I love making my characters speak French. I also love adding German puns. It’s what’s happening in my head! I’ve been thinking disturbingly much in English last year, but at the core that’s it, my brain is wired in Frallemand (Freutsch just doesn’t work, we all agree, right?) and I cut most of it out because I want other people to be able to read it but, speaking multiple languages is very normal for me. I have friends with whom I speak certain languages and others others, and who have yet others with each other. I am rather limited with only my three fluent ones, but only one? Yeah, no, that’s very unnatural to me. So I won’t overuse it in fic for the sake of readability but I do appreciate it when it comes my way.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

As I said I care a lot. You will notice that it was my first right away and… don’t maybe. I have nicer newer ones. 

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Ouhhhhh. Pretty picture? One of my most recent ones, so maybe I’m biased. 

Laundry day!!! Yes, that was incredible fun! 

I also want to mention the Prévert fic (The earth that spins and spins and spins) again because I still like it and not a lot of people did. 

And I also have a Siuaraine Mermaid fic and it’s fun and weird and thus my fav for that fandom (not even AU, somehow?!)  

I am just gonna go ahead and tag people even though I took this ask game out of its original setting: @lilolilyr if you want to reflect on the past year as well, @trollocks-in-my-bollocks @lakeofsilverpike @purlturtle @cozcat @onaperduamedee @anandabrat @thatordinaryoddity maybe you have fun with this, if not there obviously is no pressure to do it!

[entityupdates]

December 2024 General Update Post: Break Recap and Plans for 2025

I said I was going to take a fanfic break back in September and I was expecting it to be two weeks, maybe a month max, but instead it was like 4 months. I started a new job that I was expecting to kick my ass but nope. It was a class. I was consumed like I have never been consumed before.

Other stuff happened too and I was kind of going through it but I survived so it's fanfic time again.

I decided to end my break about halfway through December and immediately wrote two Creature Commandos fics:

Artificial Souls Don't Make Artificial Families is a platonic soulfamily AU oneshot where soulmarks appear on first touch with your soulmates. It's mostly Rick freaking out that he's soulmates with a bunch of monsters.

Artificial Souls Still Feel Pain is a queerplatonic polyamorous soulmate AU twoshot with the pain sharing soulmate trope. The first chapter shows Rick through the years feeling the Commandos' pain, with some focus on their mutations/transformations, and the second chapter is more Rick freaking out that he's soulmates with a bunch of monsters.

These will probably be posted this week. They’re all edited and everything. I just want to wait until the good posting hours but I have been sleeping through them unfortunately.

The painsharing fic idea came from my IRL friend who was originally a client of mine then I very unprofessionally became friends with and turns out she'd read one of my fics before meeting me. Crazy coincidence.

Anyway, she's got my DC obsession going again so expect more DC fics maybe but I lost motivation for the two I was working on (a wingfic AU and a SuperLantern thing)

My other WIPS are the stepdad Magneto adoption fic and that monster au Submas fic that I've talked a little about but haven't posted.

He Died Loving You (stepdad Magneto fic) has one arc written that needs editing and two more outlined. Someone wrote a fic of the fic which gave me some inspo for more family-oriented stuff so look forward to that.

Idk what's going on with my Pokemon one. Love the idea but I started writing it like a year and a half ago and it's barely started. Might just be one of those ones I work on forever because it'll probably end up being a long one.

The Masking series is being moved out of my WIP folder. I know people would like to see more but I am feeling unmotivated about the ideas I was excited for, and I know the stuff I wanted to write wasn't the stuff people were really interested in seeing. A sequel/seeing Zoroark Ingo back in the modern world just isn't interesting to me.

I have a folder that just has loose ideas/outlines that I always think I'm going to write immediately but I know I'm not going to. Lmk if you're interested in any of these and that might motivate me to write them but otherwise they're getting tossed into the old idea bin:

Dreaming of Sunshine fic where Shikako and Sasuke escort the film crew from the Land of Snow movie to the Land of Rain to film the Utterly Gusty Ninja movie and instead find Pein (it is a real plot point in DOS that they never got to)

HalBarry fic where Hal thinks someone is impersonating the Flash on dating apps so he schedules a date with them but actually Barry just likes eating with people. Obviously turns into real dating lol

Submas fic in a world without Pokemon where Emmet becomes a Pokemon TCG player or streamer or something after Ingo disappears but Ingo is 100% convinced he got isekai'd to the Pokemon world when he comes back so Emmet has to give up Pokemon because he believes all his pokemon stuff is harming his brother's recovery

Submas fic where Ingo is an opera singer. That's it basically.

X-Men 97 fic about Morph deciding to use his real face because reasons

My long term hiatused things:

MCU/Miraculous crossover after the Snap. I wrote the beginning and outlined the rest of it but lost motivation. Not posted.

Young Justice/Naruto crossover focused on a Green Lantern Sai. I started working on it since 2019 and it's been restarted so many times. Not posted.

Ben 10/Sanders Sides crossover where the Sides are aliens. Wrote it in 2020 and lost motivation to keep updating.

My current abandoned fics are a Ben 10 Halloween fic also from 2019 and a TMNT fic from 2018. Pretty good record in my opinion.

My 2025 goals are to keep working on the stepdad Magneto adoption fic, ideally writing those next two arcs, and making progress on that Submas monster au. Maybe also do more oneshots? I always make plans at the beginning of the year and don't stick to them. I want to chase my whims more and not have bigger WIPs so I don't stop myself from writing when an idea hits and I am ready to obsess.

If you want to see/see more of any of the fics I mentioned, feel free to let me know.

[chayscribbles]

chayscribbles’ monthly writing update ☆ june 2023

☆ STATISTICS.

words written: 13 022

projects worked on: Andromeda Rogue mostly but i've been swatting at Shiny New Ideas left and right with a tennis racket. also i thought about Gemini Heist really really hard and i think that counts for something

proudest accomplishment: AR1 draft 2 is done!!!!!!

books read: After Atlas by Emma Newman; Everyone In My Family Has Killed Someone by Benjamin Stevenson; Exit Strategy (Murderbot Diaries #4) by Martha Wells. all excellent reads. (sidenote two out of three of these books involve murder investigations and the third has murder in the title. i'm sensing a theme in my reading.)

☆ GENERAL COMMENTS.

i am still terrible at being consistent at writeblr-ing. i guess this is just my life now.

i'm debating using camp nano to actually hunker my ass down and get some writing done on gemini heist, but between work and apartment hunting and a possible move by the end of the month i don't know how feasible that's gonna be :') we'll see.

and no i'm not glossing over the fact that i have a finished second draft. i'm just saving my screaming for below the cut.

more specific wip-related comments + featured excerpt below.

☆ COMMENTS: ANDROMEDA ROGUE (draft 2)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(i wasn't kidding about the screaming.)

so this draft now sits at 85.7K, which is about 11.8K added from the first, and although it is still faaar from perfect it is definitely... better than the draft i finished 2 years ago. it's insane how much my writing has improved, between all the reading i've been doing and first drafting the two sequels of the trilogy.

that being said there still are a lot of things i know need to be fixed, but i'm at the point where if i try to fix them on my own i'll be stuck on them forever.

enter the betas!!! i'm planning on doing an ~official~ beta call next week but honestly if you're interested in beta-ing this book feel free to hmu right away!! ultimately i want to self-pub this thing (which is quite overwhelming to think about hhhhh) but one thing at a time :')

☆ FEATURED EXCERPT.

i really couldn't decide what snippet to post so this was admittedly chosen a bit at random lmao. this is from when the gang is approaching their destination for their expedition.

On the external display, Mohani loomed ahead, growing larger every second. The planet was almost entirely a deep blue, except for some white spots at its poles. It reminded Finneas of his final glimpse of Ghillairde when he was leaving it behind for the last time. For a disorienting second, it almost felt like he was returning to his birth planet. But soon, the ship was close enough to see the sandy outline of the continents. The blue wasn’t all ocean. Some of it was trees. He directed the ship towards the landing coordinates just as Petra arrived in the bridge, clutching several barf bags. “Good to see you’ve come prepared, Lacroye,” he commented. “You’re already looking green, and we haven’t even entered the atmosphere yet.” She grumbled something unintelligible in response as she took her place in the copilot’s chair.

one of my editing notes for draft 2 was to make Petra's starsickness worse😆

☆ TAGLISTS. let me know if you want to be added/removed to any of them.

general taglist:

@nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @onomatopiya @quilloftheclouds @ashen-crest @writeblrfantasy @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @extra-magichours @avi-why @lefttigerobservation @chazzawrites @bardolatrycore @innocentlymacabre

andromeda trilogy taglist:

@bebewrites @nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @onomatopiya @akindofmagictoo @quilloftheclouds @nora-theteawriter @ashen-crest @corpsepng @writeblrfantasy @toboldlywrite @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @cheerfulmelancholies @extra-magichours @writeouswriter @cilly-the-writer @lefttigerobservation @rose-bookblood @drowsy-quill @chazzawrites @cynic-and-chief @enchanted-lightning-aes @aesa @outpost51

[goingferalapparently]

silly things trying to do animatics have taught me: fuck wings.

sorry q!jaiden. i simply do not have the energy to do that for every frame. same for whatever usual design hcs i have for the others (4 spider legs + 6 extra eyes on q!roier, etc)

i do like both of these frames of very different wips tho. the sole reason why i havent completed the first one (started. a month??. ago) is because i. cannot. draw. q!quackity. the reason for the second one is because its long.

-

1 week later update because i queued this post and it still hasnt published so why not:

still about the second animatic, 35 images (or 28 unique drawings, the others being in-between images for cohesiveness, etc) in and guess how much time those images cover in total?

33 seconds.

bobby has appeared in five times and i have forgotten his horns twice but to save space on my files i fused all layers down to 1 per image and thus cannot (easily) change it

(i love these little guys actually)

[friendlyloner]

I missed the last couple wipwednesday's because well, The Horrors I suppose. I think enough is being said about the American election results by people much smarter and less Canadian than I, so I will leave it at this: I'm so so very sorry to everyone who voted Democrat hoping for a better future than the one they've been given. My heart goes out to every person who will suffer due the casual dismissal of their humanity by the people who should have been their peers. Please do everything you can to survive and thrive in spite of, and to spite them fuckers. I love you and good luck to us all.

I definitely was self soothing by starting even more new WIPs in the last couple weeks. I also may have done some Etsy pattern retail therapy including browsing through my saved patterns and finding this floral X-box remote, which I am now making for my husband for Christmas. I can only work on it when he's not around but it's still coming along quickly.

I don't have any particular reason for making this cats as phases of the moon project other than I thought it would look cool on the space fabric. I started out just using 2 strands since that worked fine on the Space Cat and Space Girl stitches respectively but the coverage just looked patchy and untidy with just the black and white floss. It's not super evident in this picture but on the second of the two incomplete sets I switched over to 3 strands and realized I liked it better enough that I would want to unpick and redo the rest of it that way. The cats are now in a time out till the holiday hiatus at the soonest.

I still managed to get some progress in on the Lisa Frank Fuck though it's slowed way down as I'm prioritizing intended gifts. Still love how bright and colorful it is and am looking forward to getting it back underway.

Speaking of intended gifts. This motherfucker right here! All the cross stitches are done and now it's just down to the back stitching. I don't think I've ever disliked a project as much as this one and still maintained my commitment to actually finishing it so in a twisted way I'm also a little proud of the damn thing. Ugh. Terrible. Cannot wait to get it out of my life.

And lastly a new start and finish, because I paid for lifetime site access to Daily Cross Stitch a decade ago and every now and then it comes in clutch. They posted two patterns recently that were the exact kind of soft sweet coziness vibes that I needed so badly it practically yanked the stitches out of my body. This fox has a companion squirrel that I don't have a picture of yet because it's barely more than 4 rows of grey but I expect it will be done soon.

I'm honestly so tired and want to make this post and go to bed asap so I'm bailing on linking all the pattern sources. If you stumbled on this post and managed to actually read this far and are interested, let me know and I'll happily update with links etc. Except for the Autobot.

Fuckin Autobot

Be good to one another