#update 1: emotional damage tag

[lara-cairncross]

masterpost weewoo ✨✨

general art tag general ask tag fanfic recommendations

🧚hidden hollow au / rottmnt fairy au stuff:

au tag fanart/fanwriting tag "ask mikey" tag

original designs (this is kinda outdated now lmao)

brief intro comic

april -> leo size comparison

mini lore comic 1

info about mikey's talent

general idea for wings + shell anatomy

mini lore comic 2

info about leo's talent

mini lore comic 2.5??? (not important just funny to me personally)

shelldon exists. kinda.

thingy about their fangs (good color ref)

TURTLE TOTS

usagi intro!

raph shell ref

mini lore comic 3

ref for donnie's markings (kinda)

big lore comic 1

ao3 fanfics (from most recently updated to oldest)

link to my Ao3 page

are you lonely yet?

-> 6/? chapters, 11k words, english, Donnie- and- Mikey-centric.

notes: uhhhhh mikey gets hurt in a very damaging way. donnie blames himself big-time. they both think the other is mad at them. emotional angst woo hoo, but also kinda fluffy i think? also pretty heavy on disaster twins stuff

now it's red, now it's dead, now it's--

-> 1/2 chapters, 5k words, english, Mikey-centric.

notes: set in the Bad Future timeline! follows mikey's slow ascent into becoming something Other. lots of angst-- depression, disassociation, suicidal ideation, major character death, etc etc. probably my favorite fic that i've written? idk I love writing OP mikey!

the sun is a dying star

-> 3/? chapters, 10k words, english, mikey-centric but bounces between POVs

notes: started off as a one-shot but i got too ambitious for my own good. mikey is not having a good time. blah blah blah turtle-gets-kidnapped-by-scientists-or-something, but i wanted to focus more on like, psychological damage than physical damage. not sure when/if this one will get an update.

pizza bagels, communication, and other life-changing novelties

-> 1/3 chapters, 3.4k words, english, Miles- and- Mikey-centric.

notes: SHELLSHOCKED FIC WOOHOO !! THE ONE AND ONLY TIME I WILL WILLINGLY WRITE ROMANCE! uhhhh two teenagers pining for each other and doing dumb shit together and angsting about being children with the weight of the world on their shoulders. IT'S FLUFFY AND CUTE I PROMISE

it's golden hour somewhere

-> 1/1 chapters (completed), 7.4k words, english, Mikey- and- Karai-centric.

notes: one-shot. Karai POV, but focuses on turtle tot Mikey. basically the Hamato Sacrifice isn't the only curse that plagues the clan, and Mikey is the most recent Hamato to come under fire. predetermined fate and all that shit. fluff and angst. this one's kinda weird ngl I remember nothing about writing it or getting inspiration for it lmao

the icarus complex

-> 2/2 chapters (completed), 10k words, english, Raph-centric (and also kinda Leo-centric in second chapter).

notes: deals with Raph's PTSD following the Kraang invasion, and one possible coping mechanism he could fall back on. spoiler alert it's NOT a healthy one lmao. definitely one of the more interesting fics I've written in my opinion; I did a lot of research for this one to make it as realistic and respectful as I could. another personal fav :)

equivalent exchange (and other things that give Leo a headache)

-> 1/? chapters, 2.5k words, english, Future!Leo- and- Mikey-centric.

notes: another Bad Future timeline fic, this time with Present Mikey accidentally ending up with Future Leo. follows the two of them trying to figure out how to get Mikey back to his timeline. I still love this concept, but idk when I'll get around to updating it tho lmao

that's where the blood's supposed to be!

-> 2/2 chapters (completed), english, Mikey-centric.

notes: Mikey gets hit hard during a fight but brushes it off, and it comes back to bite him later. takes place after the show, but before the movie-- right when the whole Leo vs Raph kerfuffle is at its peak. questionable medical information but I did my best lmao. this one's kinda old and cringey atp but whatever

other stuff

fanart for 3 months au tag

fanart for golden future au tag

glass turtle keychains example

College Fund (aka my Ko-fi page :>)

[nevernonline]

✧.* grow as we go; smau masterlist

synopsis: over the past ten years you've fallen in love many times. one day someone happens to stumble across your journal sitting out on your nightstand and started posting your entries online. after all of your secrets are leaked it's clear things would ever be the same again.

𐦍 paring: svt members x afab! reader.

𐦍 feat: non-idol! svt, (g)-idle minnie&soyeon, oc's

𐦍 genre/s: reader is super angsty low-key, fluffy, sexual themes.

𐦍 content: swearing, bullying, crazy ex's, mentions of sexual relations, some drinking& mary jane 🍃

𐦍 start date: october 2nd 2023

𐦍 updates: mainly mondays or thursdays.

𐦍 tag list - open

𐦍 note/s: a lot of what will be written is mainly as journal entries from the readers perspective!! in the beginning every other chapter or so will have a written entry. I'm mainly using ulzzang pictures for our main character. I'll be posting the profiles and introduction sometime tomorrow probably. the girlies love indie musicians & harry styles,srry.. I hope u enjoy, hehe. ily!

𐦍 chapters under the cut.

𐦍 profiles:

001 | 002 | 003

𐦍 journal entries:

part one;

00. introduction.

#1. super sleuths.

#2. the case of the cyberbullies.

#3. two robots fell in love.

#4 the fall of the empire.

#4.5 plan b?

#5. chronic memory keeper.

#6. quit!

#7 snake in the grass.

#8 not the bath mat.

#9 seeing red

#10 nerd heard?

#11 devil in disguise.

#12 stolen heart.

#13 gut feelings and emotional dealings.

#14 dressing for revenge.

#15 leave it to the cullens. (part 1)

#15 leave it to the cullens. (part 2)

#16 the part we play.

#17 happy trails

#18 damage control.

#19 anywhere you go.

#20 lost and found.

#21 we're so back.

#22 end it all.

#23 signing off for now.

#24 epilogue.

part 2; (coming soon)

[foodsies4me]

End of the Year Fic Recs!!!

thank you @echo-bleu for tagging me! <3

I adore this as a game because I love reccing fics (and really should do it more often because So. Much. Good.Fic). This is going to be all shadowhunters I'm afraid though because I am still very much in the shadowhunters brainrot stage and haven't read much of anything else. (Also, sorry to those I haven't left a comment for yet, I WILL, spoons have just been low this year...) Also, I'll try to keep it to one rec per author because there are so many wonderful authors, but definitely go check the other fics of these people (if you haven't already) they're all excellent.

Recommend up to 5 series or multi-chapter fics from 2023 that everyone should read (multi-year WIPs count, if the last update was in 2023).

Running from the Night by @to-the-stars-writing. My forever fic spouse and the fic I reread themost this year goes to the fantastic, angsty Alec goes to live in a small village to get away from the Clave because the poor dude is traumatized fic from to-the-stars. This fic is my fics spouse (yes I got @to-the-stars-writing's permission to marry this fic) and I love, love, love it so much.

Flames to Embers by @notcrypticbutcoy: teenage!Alec is poofed into the timeline of his older self and it is lovely, sad, and heartwarming all at the same time. Also, teenage Alec is delightfully grumpy and Adult Alec is even more delightfully Done with teenage!Alec's grumpiness.

starshine and moonlight by she_who_reads (all_fandoms_reader) A three +1 fic where Alec isn't enough until he finally is. This fic is angsty and delves into Alec's (not all that great) self-worth issues and it hurts. Might or might not have cried reading it.

The Warlock's Cat by @dreaming-marchling. I hesitated a while which one I should pick from Marchling, but I ended up choosing this one (that said PLEASE go read Bleed for Me as well it is so goooood). The Warlock's Cat is a delightful "Alec gets turned into a cat and ends up in Magnus's care" fic. I adore it, and while it has its angsty or whumpy spots, it's mostly a nice, feel-good read.

Magnus Bane: Menace by AceOnIce To give some reprieve from all of the angst in this list, here is a fic of pure, unabashed fluff. Starring: Warlock Alec and Shadowhunter Magnus, the latter of which writes some truly ridiculous mission reports to HOTI Ragnor's grief.

Recommend up to 5 single chapter fics/one-shots (long or short) from 2023 that everyone should read.

The river cannot go back by @lawsofchaos1. Alec being Alec and completely in love with Magnus which leads to him committing treason like it's nothing. It is a short, brilliant fic that had me screeching like any @lawsofchaos1 fic does.

I'm finding it hard to breath by Honey_Hued_Hermes This one is pretty heave, but it does have a Hopeful Ending. Alec never promised he would tell Magnus if things ever got that bad...and sadly they do. Diving into Alec's Suicidal Thoughts and his Self-Harm tendencies.

A Most Fundamental Truth by autisticalec A missing scene from 2X10 when Alec tells Magnus that he's never been as terrified as when he feared Magnus had died from the Soul Sword. This one-shot dives into the "Alec was really very not okay emotionally" in this scene, so go read it!

The Difficult Task by @dani-dabbles: Another Alec is going through it emotionally fic (there are quite a lot of these on this list I just realized, oops). Thankfully, Magnus is there to offer support when Alec needs it because Magnus is still the best boyfriend. (also the repeated "not good enough"is evil and I am suing for emotion damages, please and thank you very much)

come to me (in the night hours) by @moonlight-breeze-44 Izzy is a supportive sister and is there emotionally for Alec right before his wedding to Lydia. This fic left me feeling all sad and weepy. This fic is technically part of a series, but as no other parts have been posted yet I am posting this in the one-shot part.

Recommend up to 5 fics NOT from 2023 that everyone should read (oldies but goodies).

I've Always Dreamed of Meeting Someone Like You by ColorfulWarlock A non-magical Alternate Universe this time around. Single-dad, fashion designer, and CEO Magnus needs someone to draw his designs for him after a hit-and-run leaves him unable to draw for himself. Insert Alec, the wonderful babysitter, and game designer who seems to understand what Magnus envisions and draw them into reality!

Angelus ex Machina by BlueA The series starts with the sudden disappearance of demon activity and the way that lack of activity impacts the local Shadow World. I love the way the parabatai bond is portrayed in this fic (especially in the third installment).

through the fire and pain by alxndrlightwoods is another parabatai-bond deep-dive that goes deep into how a parabatai bond can change shadowhunters. It also explains why, if parabatai are so powerful, there aren't that many of them. Love this fic!

i cannot touch because they are too near by @faejilly nobody manages to write poetry without writing poetry quite like @faejilly for me, seriously the words are always so beautiful I am in awe. This fic has to be my absolute favorite though because deep-dives into the parabatai bond are interesting to begin with but the way Jilly decides to do so in this fic makes it go from interesting to absolutely brilliant.

Greater Love Hath No Man by @lawsofchaos1 Okay, I lied, here is a second Laws fic, but considering this fic led to the demise of my laptop, I felt that it deserved to be on the list. (No, that wasn't a joke). Dad!Alec is forced to send baby!Max away to a warlock orphanage when his magic grows too strong for him and leaves him injured. The pain is real and it is excruciating, tissues are advised.

Recommend up to 5 of your own fics (completed or WIP) from 2023 that everyone should read.

As much as I adore reccing fics, doing self-recs is awkward, so I'm going to keep this to one rec before I combust into flames.

All Was Golden (everyone has probably read that one already because it's my most-read fic which makes this slightly less awkward than reccing any other of my fics.) Anyway, soulmate AU with a kind of ugly meet that has some angst.

Tagging, without any kind of pressure, the authors I tagged in the rec-list (if they haven't participated already) as well as @miss-mouse.

[aftgficrec]

hi besties! can i be a bit weird and ask for sick fics here? old/new/favorites, any will do! just some big ol’ hurt/ comfort, especially if combined with some emotional hurt/comfort 🥰

There’s nothing weird about this at all!  Apart from the fics below, there’s also our sickfic tag as well as our hurt/comfort tag for more (see our tag page under the heading ‘themes - injuries/illnesses/conditions’). - S

Previous recs:

cool andreil sick fics here

sick fics here

foxes with headaches/sick fics here

10k+ sick fics here

Andreil in hospital here

Neil with major injury here

Neil gets injured (post canon) here

Neil & car accidents here

accident-prone Neil here

Andreil with amnesia here

medical Andreil/Aaron & Neil here

Neil getting roofied here

Also see… 

‘we're one (there's nothing to be done)’ here

‘Just like that day’ here

‘head case (what to do with you)’ here

‘Such Stuff as Dreams are Made’ here

‘Neil Josten Is a Lucky Man’ here

‘Broken’ here

‘If Only I Were Enough’ (completed) here

‘I'll Come Back To You’ here

‘glass in the trees (objects in the rearview)’ here

‘Running Ragged’ here

‘To Love and Be Loved’ here

‘all that looking down’ here

‘next best thing’, keep telling me that it gets better (does it ever?)’ and ‘no matter when and where, we’ll be alright’ here

‘Can Nobody Hear Me (I cannot breathe)’, ‘I remeber tears streaming down your face (for me to wipe them away)’, ‘you crawled inside my head’, ‘living leaves so many holes in us’, ‘Ciggarette Smoke Cure’, ‘Breathless’, ‘i've done my time’ and ‘cats and close calls’ here

‘The Highs and Lows of Pre-med Majors' here (Aaron)

‘Hold My Hand?’ here

‘Echo’ here 

I’m More Than This Body of Mine by yall_send_help [Rated M, 88811 words, incomplete, last updated Jan 2024]

The doctor took a pause, which Nathaniel was able to use to ask, “what about my leg?” The two pigs had the audacity to look surprised. The doctor looked over at them with a hint of confusion. “You didn’t tell him?” Towns shook his head as Browning said, “you told us not to.” Dr. Byrd nodded her head in approval and turned back to the bed. “Nathaniel…” she trailed off, reevaluating her words. “Would you mind if I sit?” and only after his own nod did she. “The damage done to your leg… it was unlike what most of the staff at this hospital had ever seen. The surgeons tried to save it, but…” She looked down at where his legs were and Nathaniel did too, only to feel himself pale at what he found. “The surgery took about three hours,” Dr. Byrd continued. “The only reason why it took so long was because the surgeons really did try to save your leg. They did. Amputations usually take only half that time. Eventually, Dr. McCoy called it. Because of the damage done to your leg, we couldn’t wake you up to ask. It had to go. I’m sorry.” or - the one where neil goes to baltimore and comes back missing a leg

tw: torture, tw: amputation, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: panic attacks, tw: blood, tw: animal cruelty, tw: implied/referenced drug overdose

fireproof by mostly_maudlin [Rated T, 2097 words, complete, 2024]

Andrew gets his flu shot.

Things Always Gets Worse Before They Gets Better series by Renee_Walker_09 [Rated G, 40141 words, incomplete, 3 complete works, 2024]

Part 1: Beginnings & Endings (G, 1083 words)

It's 1:30 in the morning. The Foxes are celebrating their championship win against the Ravens the only way they know how to: booze, partying, and a little bit more booze. Nothing could possibly ruin this?

tw: car accident, tw: major character injury

Part 2: You Mean Everything To Me (G, 12767 words)

There are two crashed cars. There’s blood on the floor. Lights are flashing all around. Andrew is standing in the middle of the crash site with a blanket draped across his shoulders as he stares straight at Neil, lying on the floor.

tw: car accident, tw: major character injury, tw: (temporary) major character death, tw: suicide attempt, tw: drug overdose, tw: blood, tw: self harm

Part 3: Hours, Days, Weeks (G, 26299 words)

Andrew is lying in a coma following the accident. His condition is critical. And Neil and Aaron have to find a way to cope.  Neil and Aaron’s POVs of the crash and the past 6 weeks

tw: car accident, tw: blood, tw: major character injury, tw: (temporary) major character death, tw: self harm, tw: panic attacks, tw: seizures

NB: find art for the fics by the author here as well as embedded in the fics

Even goalkeepers can’t block sickness by BlowingYourMind [Rated G, 12768 words, complete, 2024]

“Rabbit,” Andrew peered up at him with half lidded eyes, “Yes or no?” “Yes ‘Drew,” Neil clasped his hands at Andrew’s elbows, “it’s always a yes, you know that.” “No ‘s not,” Andrew weakly argued as he took hold of Neil’s chest pad, using it to leverage himself upwards. It was awkward work of walking half-delirious Andrew back to the locker room, shielding him from the crowd while keeping him on his feet, but they managed. Or Andrew becomes very sick at an away game, and Neil and the foxes take care of him.

tw: vomit

the upswing by missgivings [Not Rated, 45569 words, incomplete, last updated Jan 2024]

The next universe over, life has gone a bit easier on Andrew. He’s gainfully employed as a nurse of all things, working beside his best friend Renee, and living in relative harmony with his brother, the recently graduated Dr. Aaron Minyard. Everything’s fine. It’s fine that he hasn’t spoken to Kevin in person for three years. It’s fine if Aaron’s leaving him to marry his stupid doctor girlfriend. It’s fine until the boy with the box-dyed hair stumbles into the ER and passes out at his feet, bringing a world of secrets and trouble with him. And Neil? Neil’s looking for any port in a storm.

tw: major character injury, tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced self harm

please (don't bite) by Major_816 [Rated M, 5478 words, complete, 2024]

Genioglossus. It’s a fan-shaped muscle and forms the bulk of the inferior part of the tongue. It stretches to the hyoid bone too. ~ Neil wakes up to a bad day and it just gets worse.

tw: blood, tw: self harm, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: nightmares, tw: flashbacks, tw: vomit

Will you love me for who I am, not for who I was? by something_boring [Rated T, 1580 words, complete, 2024]

Neil is sick on New Year's eve, wakes up to the fireworks, and continues to have a panic attack about his time on the run.

tw: nightmares, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced child abuse

Your Needs, My Needs by TogeMythia [Rated T, 1073 words, complete, 2023]

‘Neil.’ He whined, his face still buried under the blankets. ‘Hrmph?’ Neil responded with a confused noise from somewhere across the bed. ‘Do you feel as shit as you sound?’ - Or Neil and Andrew wake up sick on Christmas day.

tw: vomit

To be safe by HushedStars [Rated G, 2116 words, complete, 2023]

Neil is feeling unwell. He seeks comfort from Matt. It was late at night. Neil stood in the kitchen, deep in thought but still with one ear alert for any movement of his roommates. He shifted from foot to foot, hands digging into his sore neck

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: panic attacks

Safe with him by 1mNot4Hum4n [Not Rated, 2434 words, complete, 2023]

Neil is sick but doesn't want to admit it. He can't be sick. He can't be weak. Luckily Andrew is there to make sure his junkie is okay, and remind him that he has people around him who are willing to do anything to protect him.

'tis the season by moonix [Rated T, 5579 words, complete, 2023, locked]

Five holidays Andrew had to let Kevin take care of him and one time he got to return the favour.

i called your name ‘til the fever broke by cyanica [Rated T, 5632 words, incomplete, last updated Nov 2023]

Neil’s breath is hot and awful against Andrew’s thigh. “I can’t be sick on your birthday,” he says, like it’s that simple. “I can’t be sick on you on your birthday.” “How considerate,” Andrew’s voice is a bland murmur, and he is left watching Neil’s bloodless, wet lips, as he curls into Andrew’s lap. Neil gently pulls away after a moment, leaning back into Andrew’s hand on his neck. “Is me being sick still making you anxious?” he asks. Fever-stricken with dizzied-eyes and delirious thoughts, he knows Andrew without more than a moment beside him, a look into his eyes that makes Andrew feel undone, found. Or Neil is sick and Andrew isn’t coping well.

tw: vomit, tw: panic attacks, tw: dissociation, tw: anxiety

You Know I'm Good On My Own by sambutwithbooks [Rated G, 4568 words, complete, Aftg Then And Now 2023]

Andrew breaks his arm two games into the season and it feels a little bit like Neil’s world snaps with it. (A snapshot of Neil and Andrew between Andrew coming home from the hospital and going back home to Palmetto State.)

tw: major character injury

that's my line by sillyunicorn6154 [Rated G, 1291 words, complete, 2023]

Andrew is definitely not sick. But he is a little stubborn.

You're not fine, but you will be by karmenvi [Not Rated, 616 words, complete, 2023]

Neil is sick, so Andrew takes care of him. So it was supposed to be a sickfic, but it turned into 'Andrew stares at Neil and thinks his boyfriend is the prettiest boy in the world.' Anyway, enjoy some fluff.

I'll be okay if he's here by obsessivereader156 [Not Rated, 1673 words, complete, 2023]

“Thank you, Drew,” Neil says for the twentieth time, feeling so lucky to have someone take care of him. “Say it again and I will kill you.” “You’re just so nice to me,” Neil says a bit deliriously, “I’ve never had someone take care of me when I’m sick.”

If it means losing you, then no by LostMess_24 [Rated T, 6712 words, complete, 2023]

There was something against his hand, a pressure he knew too well, a hand that fit so perfectly against his, making Andrew’s presence known, making Neil’s entire body relax, slowing his breathing a bit. But before Neil could see the man at his side, it hit him. He was starting to feel it, all around him. Those white walls, the mattress he was in, the soft yet old sheets, the pressure on his arm. And finally, unmistakably, the regular and aggressive beeps, signs of a life that was his own. He was in a hospital bed. There’s an accident. Those idiots would do anything and everything to protect each other.

tw: major character injury, tw: car accidents

cause and effect by mistyrie [Rated M, 13107 words, complete, 2023]

"Andrew realized what he was seeing but he couldn’t comprehend it. He didn’t know how to help. There was no enemy to deal with – there was just Neil seizing on the floor and Andrew didn’t know what to do." Neil starts having seizures and Andrew tries to help.

tw: seizures (epilepsy)

how the foxes act when they're sick by @detectivebambam [tumblr, 2024]

headcanons on the foxes and illness

headcanons on Neil getting sick by @24-0z [tumblr, 2022]

Neil doesn't get sick very often, so when he finally catches the bug that had been going around campus, he's suddenly 8 years old again, sweating and trembling with fever

SICK!Neil for my soul. by @satan-in-a-v-neck [tumblr, 2021]

Neil is acting strange. Ask every fox and they'll tell you that for the past three days Neil Josten wasn't acting very Neil Josteny.

tw: vomit

illness/injuries as background event:

The Songs Around Us by doodlingstuff [Rated M, 80075 words, complete, 2022]

The mission was simple: Nathaniel would join Astral Foxes as Neil Josten and make them part of Moriyama Music. In reality, Neil became real, found a home, and fell in love despite his lies. When the Moriyamas send the Butcher to remind Neil of his mission and Andrew's life ends on the line, Neil will have to find a way to escape his fate and bring Andrew back. As he gets closer to losing the man he loves the most, Neil will realize that sometimes, music is the only answer, and others, truth is the only weapon he can use. Another Band!AU. This time extra angsty.

tw: torture, tw: car accident, tw: major character injury, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: panic attacks, tw: violence

NB: find art for this fic by @doodlingstuff here

[ollypopwrites]

From Depths Unknown ; Part 4

Part 1 ⚜ Part 2 ⚜ Part 3 ⚜ Ao3

Rolan x F!Tav (AFAB, she/her) *Tav is a Storm Sorcerer, but no actual reference to her appearance.

Rating: E

Tags & Warnings: [18+ MDNI] Language, Canon-typical violence (discussion of injuries), Discussions of Death & the afterlife, background Bloodweave.

Chapter Summary:

Rolan pulled Tav back into him, face buried in her hair and his tail wrapped around her leg as many times as it could. Perhaps it was the weakness she still felt, but she leaned into him, and he could feel her stuttering breaths with her pressed against his chest. She was crying. His own eyes had been stinging since she looked over at him for the first time in two days, clenched shut every time he thought they might spill over. He was so grateful he could hardly find words. 

Notes: Fuck it lets update two days in a row. This series will end at Part 6, I've decided. Thanks for going on this journey with me so far.

The last thing Tav remembered was pain.

The sun came up, and Lae’zel flew off astride a dragon into its bright glow. When she had faded away into the distance, Tav remembered staring at the spot where Karlach and Wyll had stepped through a portal to the hells. Someone had said something about the sun, and then the trail of deep gashes in her torso throbbed with mind numbing pain. Everything was blank after that. 

In the back of her mind in the fugue plane, she knew she was dead. It was nothingness, all senses and concepts slipped away. But her mind seemed to drift in a state of waiting for something to happen. What it was she could not remember. Flashes of faces were fuzzy, and the emotions they elicited were whispers. Time was unknowable, this state of absence could have been decades or seconds and Tav would not be able to tell the difference. 

Something pulled, tugging at the edges of whatever was left of her. 

First was amber colored warmth that seemed to seep into the center of the nebulous state of her, it beckoned: come back to me. She wanted to, letting the sensation fill her and start the spark of life. Tav felt her spirit be cupped in soft cooling hands, not diminishing the warmth, but an additional soothing touch, the color of silver wrapping around the amber glow.

 A sharp white shock of lightning spread through the shape of a body she forgot she had - a deep rumbling in her newly found chest, and the cool wash of rain on her face. They were separate entities, but she could not quite tell what or who they were. She trusted them, letting them pull her until  the combined efforts made the nebulous shapes she could see become clear. Faces. 

Rolan’s scarlet skin, freckles hiding under dirt and ash, with his dark hair slipping out of its neat tie at the back of his head. His eyes were wide, the yellow glow against the darkness of his sclera was a lovely sight. And Shadowheart, frowning with intense focus, her pretty green eyes bright and watery. Jaheira’s even stare was just over Shadowheart’s shoulder, and Halsin’s brow tipped in concern towering above both of the women. 

As if she was underwater, the familiar need to breach a surface and breathe overtook her. 

Her whole body had been a livewire of sensation when the air hit her lungs. Most of them were unpleasant: pain and nausea and exhaustion. Tav hardly comprehended what she said and saw, she just remembered being told she could finally rest and then everything went black again. 

Consciousness came to her slowly. But this was different than before. She was just waking up, like every other day in her life.

“Coming back from the dead, being suddenly tadpole free, the physical damage — these things are hard on the body on their own,” she heard a familiar rumbling voice. Halsin. “She’s been fully healed, but she needs rest.” 

“Are we certain there’s no lasting damage?” Another familiar voice. Deep, crisply accented and comforting despite the shortness of tone. Rolan. “That I didn’t… didn’t do the resurrection wrong?”

Her eyes opened. Above her was the canopy of an ostentatious four post bed, her eyes took in a painting of a celestial sky framed by gold filigrees. It smelled of magic, rosewater and sage, and something else — something familiar but unnameable. As her mind came to her, she felt the need to move her fingers,taking in the sensation of her touch on the soft fabric of velvet blankets. Beneath her body was a plush, comfortable, mattress. 

She ached. There was an absence in her psyche that at first was confusing — it was just her. No Emperor, no companions, no pounding resonation of the Elder Brain. 

“Tav?” 

Rolan’s face hovered over her. He looked as intense as ever, but it was softened by his eyes. Just as before, wide and comforting in their warmth. Her lips cracked, a slight sting accompanying the leisurely smile that took over her face. 

“Hi,” she whispered.

“Hello,” he smiled a little. 

“Is it over?” It’s all she could think to say, voice rough and dry.

“Yes,” he breathed. “Yes, you did it.” 

“What happened?”

“You —“ he swallowed, his smile dropping instantly. Whatever it was he couldn’t seem to say. 

“What can you remember?” Halsin asked, making look over to the foot of the bed where he stood. 

Tav wracked her brain. They were falling, they were in the water, they were on the dock. Lae’zel flew off on a red dragon, and named Tav liberator. Karlach’s heart almost gave out, but Wyll and her jumped into a portal before it could happen. Tav remembered frantically begging her to keep living, promising they would find a way to bring them back. Astarion… oh gods, Astarion. 

He didn’t have the tadpole. He was out in the sun. 

“Astarion — “ she asked Halsin, “is he okay?”

“He ran into the shadows,” Halsin said evenly, “wherever he is, Gale is with him.”

“But where are they?”

“We haven’t seen them,” Halsin’s brow furrowed. 

“Shadowheart?” Tav asked, eyes clenched shut. 

“Downstairs with the healers.” Rolan assured her.

Tav let out a shuddering breath. “And —“

“Jaheira and Minsc are helping to organize the rebuilding efforts,” Halsin informed her. “You gave us quite the scare,” he smiled a little at her. “You should have mentioned your wounds.”

That’s right. Throughout the adrenaline fueled panic to just keep everyone alive at the very end, Tav had forgotten an intellect devourer had nearly disemboweled her. She had taken quite a few hits besides that as well, shrugged off in the heat of battle. The onslaught of the Netherbrain’s psionic powers had made her brain feel like it would leak out of her ears. All in all, she had been truly fucked up by the end of it all.

“I died.”

Halsin nodded. 

Tav licked her lips, but her tongue was just as dry as her lips. Only a few of their party had to be resuscitated on the road. Withers was there for exactly that, and she never worried too much about it, saving all their resurrection scrolls for allies that Withers had deemed not necessary to maintain in the fight. Only their core group were tied to the ultimate fate, and after that was finished she imagined he had to maintain the balance of life and death. 

“I remember  something pulling me,” she closed her eyes. “Pulling me out of — water? No… it was nothing.”

“A resurrection scroll,” Rolan finally spoke. “I used a resurrection scroll to bring you back.” 

Tav looked over at him, wanting to ease the worry that creased his handsome face. “My hero.”

He closed his eyes, a smile twitching at his lips as he exhaled a breath that might have been a laugh. Her heart felt fit to burst.  “You’re an idiot.”

Tav sat up, a wave of dizziness overcoming her so she toppled to the side. Rolan had a hand on her shoulder, and an arm at her back. Nausea flooded her, and she took a deep breath. 

“It may take some time for you to get your bearings.” Halsin told her. “You were lost to us for quite some time, your body needs to adjust to the shifting states.”

“Not to mention the side effects from the tadpoles being removed,” Rolan added. “Shadowheart’s been struggling with headaches, and fatigue. You need to rest.”

“Can I see her?” 

“She will want to know you’re awake.” Halsin said with a nod and left the room. 

“Where are we? The tower?”

“Yes,” Rolan was trying to ease her down but she wanted to will herself to feel better. 

With a truly pathetic shove she managed to sling her legs over and out of the covers. Her feet slowly met the plush rug that covered the stone floor, and she stood. Well she tried to: she got up to her feet and then felt her legs give out. Rolan grunted as he grabbed her around the waist, tugging her against him to keep her from falling.

“Please, Tav, lay down,” he insisted. 

“I want to see the city,” she pleaded. 

There was an open door to the terrace right there, she could see the clear blue sky of an afternoon. Rolan folded with a sharp sigh and helped steady her as she took a step, then another, weakly and slowly but she was not going to be denied the chance to see it. 

At the railing of the terrace, she gripped it with weak hands, Rolan just behind her with an arm firmly wrapped around her waist. He wasn’t letting her get too close to the edge. The city was in a bad state, many buildings in the lower half were destroyed, and the upper city was near unrecognizable. The tower was tall, but she could see people below. Carrying lumber and stones, running back and forth with supplies, building and walking around. 

“We did it.” She breathed. “We did it.” 

Rolan pulled Tav back into him, face buried in her hair and his tail wrapped around her leg as many times as it could. Perhaps it was the weakness she still felt, but she leaned into him, and he could feel her stuttering breaths with her pressed against his chest. She was crying. His own eyes had been stinging since she looked over at him for the first time in two days, clenched shut every time he thought they might spill over. 

He was so grateful he could hardly find words. 

“You should be laying down,” he ground out past the lump in his throat after a few moments. 

“Okay.” 

But neither of them moved. 

“Can we sit out here ? Just for a little bit?”

Rolan heaved a sigh, more for show than out of true irritation. He helped her maneuver into a chair, and she seemed grateful to be off of her feet. There was only one chair on the terrace, and Rolan found himself standing by it, ready to steady her if needed, afraid to wander too far. Tav took in the feeling of the sun, the sounds of the city below and took a few deep breaths. Rolan could only watch her. 

Her dead gaze had stuck with him, so he tried to replace it with the current view of her eyes scanning the city below. He had  found himself constantly checking that her chest had been moving with breaths while she rested, he was clinging to the proof she was alive and moving around now. Rolan’s tail wrapped around her ankle again, and she leaned over to look at it with a small laugh.

“What are you two lovebirds up to?” 

The new voice had him jumping out of his skin in shock. As if he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t, his face flushed a deeper red, his tail unraveling from its grip. 

Shadowheart was in the doorway, a bright grin betraying her teasing tone. “Five months on the road,” she said to Tav, “and you die on me at the last second.”

“Gotta keep you on your toes,” Tav replied. 

“Apology accepted,” Shadowheart rolled her eyes. 

This was a far different reaction to when Tav had been brought into the tower. The reality of the situation was made clear by the true panic in the cleric’s normally calm and detached demeanor. They looked at each other for a moment as if in some silent conversation. After a while Tav ducked her head. 

“Feels strange, not having you bouncing around in my brain,” she said. 

“It’s both a relief and… a loss, somehow. I never thought I’d miss anything about the tadpoles.”

“Guess we just have to talk to each other like normal people, eh?”

Rolan felt he was intruding and went back into the bedroom, taking a moment to recollect himself. Halsin was there, a nod of understanding offered in his direction. Neither of them truly knew the experience of sharing a consciousness, not in that way. It seemed to be something that Gale, Karlach, Wyll, Astarion, Shadowheart, Lae’zel and Tav would always have to bind them.

“Jaheira tells me you’ll be relocating some of the orphaned children near Reithwin,” Rolan cleared his throat. 

“It’s a peaceful place now that the curse has been lifted, and there’s plenty of space for them to grow,” he nodded. “As the Grove was for you, I hope to build a place of refuge for anyone who wishes to leave the city.”

“Whatever you may need for the journey, you need only ask.” 

Halsin thanked him with a nod. “It suits you, this position. Archmage of Baldur’s Gate ,” he smiled a little, “the title should go to someone who has overcome adversity. Someone who knows the value of what he has.”

Rolan was not so certain. “I’m not an archmage yet,” he said. “I still have much to learn.” 

“As you say,” Halsin smiled. 

Rolan looked over his shoulder, out at the terrace where Shadowheart and Tav were still deep in conversation. Rolan knew that whatever they were discussing, was meant for them alone to hear. “The tower has an impressive greenhouse, but I’d like to get an expert's opinion on how to improve it.”

Halsin smiled tiredly, all at once looking like a man who had lived centuries. “Any glimpse of nature  you have to offer would be quite the solace to me.”

“So Selune did hear me,” Shadowheart said quietly, eyes averted. “I had no magic left. I had revivify prepared for this reason but — “ she shook her head. “I prayed she would give me some way to save you.”

“Her and something else certainly heard you,” Tav leaned back. “I almost… don’t know what to do now.” 

“You aren’t doing anything,” Shadowheart admonished. “At least another day or two of rest, then you can think about the future.”

“You’re rested,” Tav smiled. “What will you do?”

“Help around here for a bit longer,” Shadowheart looked over the city. “After that, maybe follow Halsin. He wants to head back towards the mountain pass, taking some refugees with him, I could settle there or… explore.”

“Exploring suits you,”  Tav smiled, “selfishly, I’d wish you wouldn’t go far but… my little Selunite has to spread her wings.”

After a while the afternoon shifted into night, and the two of them sent a quiet prayer of thanks to Selune as the moon rose into the sky. Tav had never been the religious type and their journey had only solidified her resolve to respect the gods from afar. The entire mess of the Absolute had been designed for The Dead Three, Mystra’s involvement had not quite inspired awe in her given that it required one of her best friends killing himself, and everything with Shar spoke for itself. But she appreciated Selune’s more distant approach to aiding them; it certainly had caused them less strife.

Arm looped in Shadowheart’s for sake of steadiness (Tav had an inkling her friend was feeling affectionate but would not admit it) Tav had met with the small group gathered for dinner. Cal barely maintained his composure while he gave her a gentle hug, Lia lingered a little in her arms, while Halsin smiled on. Rolan was hovering nearby, and looked ready to scold his siblings. 

“Don’t crowd her,” he insisted. 

“I don’t mind,” she smiled, patting Lia on the back of the head. “It’s been a rough journey to get here, yeah?” She looked at the tiefling in her embrace who was a bit misty eyed. “But we’re fine! And I’m starving. Being dead works up quite the appetite.”

Everyone but Rolan seemed to find the joke at least a little funny, but she was used to him looking bothered by her. She was happy to see his eye twitch in the face of her jokes. Despite her appetite, after filling her stomach and drinking nearly an entire pitcher of water to herself she was quite sleepy. But there was some business she had to see to. 

“Has anyone looked for Gale and Astarion?”

“There’s been a lot of healing work to do,” Shadowheart said, “wherever they are I’m sure they’re fine.”

“I’d like to see it for myself,” Tav said seriously. “They’re the only ones left, Shadowheart, I want to know they’re okay.”

Shadowheart shook her head a little. “I can start a search party, but I wouldn’t know where to start.”

Tav didn’t like this answer. “If it were us —“

“No,” Shadowheart cut her off. “You died. It was just me, Halsin, Jaheira and Minsc. They know there’s only so many places we could be — and they still haven’t turned up.”

It hurt to hear it said out loud. Tav was trying not to be selfish, but Shadowheart was right. It did feel a bit like the two had abandoned them. At least Karlach, Wyll and Lae’zel had an excuse for leaving moments after their victory. The sun went down every night, Astarion and Gale could have made their way back days ago. 

Shadowheart specifically must have felt slighted. The late arrival of Halsin, Jaheira and Minsc did not make them any less a part of the team but Astarion and Gale were the first they had met after the nautiloid crash. The four of them had been together since day one of the nightmare. For them to just go missing on her when she needed them most had to sting. 

Aware of the tension in the room, Tav offered a tired smile, not wanting to drag the conversation out any longer. “Alright.”

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” Shadowheart frowned. 

“I’m not in charge anymore,” Tav sighed as she rubbed at her eyes, “and I’m too tired to argue right now. When I’m all rested, I’ll figure something out.”

For a minute, it looked like Shadowheart was trying to concentrate on something, brow furrowing with the attempt. And then blinked a few times as if she caught herself. 

“There’s no more tadpoles, Shadowheart,” Tav found herself laughing a bit, “can’t poke around in each other's heads anymore.”

“I know — I forgot,” she shook her head. 

“I think,” Halsin said, “it’s time for you to rest, Tav. You’re still —“

“Recovering, yeah, I know.” She stood up from the table. 

A loud scraping sound happened the moment she got to her feet as Rolan rose from his chair suddenly, nearly knocking it over. “I’ll walk you.”

“Thank you.” Tav said with raised eyebrows, seeing Lia cover her face and Cal grin out of the corner of her eye. “Goodnight, everyone.”

Rolan did not ask, but simply placed her arm in the crook of his elbow as he led her out. The tower was big, and as the halls went on she was more and more looking forward to laying down in a bed. Her strength felt sapped still, her legs a bit wobbly after sitting for so long. The food in her stomach satiated her, but it brought with it the desire to close her eyes. 

“I can’t wait to feel normal again,” she said. 

“No need to rush,” he replied. 

“There’s a lot to do,” Tav insisted. “And I’m useless.”

“Gods forbid the Savior of the Gate stop for once.”

“That title has a nice ring to it, when did you come up with that?”

“I didn’t,” he smiled, “it’s what everyone is calling you and your friends. The Saviors of the Gate.”

“Oh.”

They certainly had received a lot of thanks and praises over the last few months. For everyone in such a big city to know her name, to be discussing the journey she and her friends had been on was odd. She was not quite sure how she felt about being so… known. 

As he led her into the same room she had woken in, she slid onto the bed with a groan. She shuffled until she was under the covers, taking deep contented breaths as she buried her face in the pillows. This bed was more heavenly than even her own back home, and she was so grateful for it.

“Are all the beds in the tower this comfy?”

“Knowing Lorroakan, he probably saved the best for himself,” Rolan said.

“That must be your new bed,” Tav turned over to look at him. “Is it heaven? Just a big magical cloud of relaxation?”

“Erm,” Rolan shifted on his feet. “It is, yes, but —“ he cleared his throat, “but you’ll have to tell me. You’ve been sleeping in it.”

Tav was confused. “This is your bed?”

“It is.”

“You gave up your bed for me?” Tav asked, “why?”

Rolan stood somewhat awkwardly, hands at his sides. “I wanted you to be comfortable.”

“That’s sweet,” Tav smiled. “Are you sure you’re not a doppleganger? Did some straggling Bhaalists get to you?”

He eased up at the teasing, looking more comfortable. “I’ll remember not to show you any consideration in the future. Such a lack of gratitude.” He was smiling. 

“You’re one to talk about lacking gratitude,” she smiled back, eyes closed now. She was so tired. “I can never win with you.”

“And yet here you are in my bed, while I toss and turn in a guest room.”

“Poor Rolan,” she replied. “So very put out by his little hero.”

“Indeed.”

He was shutting off again, she could tell by the closed tone. “I am sorry,” she replied, eyes opening, “I honestly do feel like I’ve put everyone out.”

“You saved the city,” he looked befuddled. “You died saving it.”

“Could have done better,” she muttered. Her thoughts going to Karlach and Wyll, and to Astarion now confined to the shadows. 

“We both know that’s far from the truth,” he said softly. “I — I thought it wouldn’t work — the resurrection.”

“I worried you.” 

Part of her knew in the back of her mind that was true, but he was such a hard puzzle to figure out. Sometimes she was sure he thought of her the same way she did of him. But he always was at arms length, never giving more than a hint and then closing off immediately after. ‘You’ll come back to me,’ he had told her in the high hall. As if she was his. 

“Worried,” he repeated, a half laugh in amazement. “Yes, I would rather say you did.”

“Sorry.” 

“Stop apologizing, go to sleep,” he insisted. 

“Will you stay? Just for a little bit?”

The thought of being left alone was overwhelming, she had not spent a night alone in months. Rolan searched her face for a moment, then sat on the bed, turned towards her. For a moment he looked unsure what to do with his hands, before deciding to fold them in his lap, his tail flicking gently behind him on the covers. Thanking him quietly, she let herself drift off, eyes closed so she couldn’t see his unwavering gaze on her. 

Tav was bouncing back quickly, he was pleased to see. She had gone from only being able to draft a letter to her mother before needing to lay down for the rest of the day to walking around the upper levels of the tower on her own.  But she was starting to get restless after a day or two. Now that she could stand on her own two feet without someone’s support, she was hard to contain. She had been blocked off from the bottom floor of the tower, since no one trusted her not to get roped into some rebuilding effort before she was ready. 

Rolan was busier than ever. He only had a handful of staff to assist him, and all of them were running around the city to help the recovery efforts. Despite the circumstances and the less than gentle way Jaheira had put it, Rolan realized quickly she had been right about taking on the duty of the city’s Archmage. The tower was a central point in the city, the main source of magical wares and a trove of information.

Rolan didn’t want it to be a museum, he wanted it to be a resource. 

At the end of the day, he would dine with Tav, his siblings and Shadowheart. Halsin joined them every once in a while, but he had given his word to assess just how many orphans were running unattended in the ruined city streets. He was also the only one Yenna would come out of the Elfsong suite for, and he had to make sure she was looked after and fed. After dinner and a healthy amount of wine amongst the small group, Tav had asked him if he had anything that could help get her to the hells. 

Alarm bells rang off in his mind. “We can look into it.” He offered as diplomatically as he knew how. 

“Her engine won’t last here,” Shadowheart reminded Tav. 

There was a stubborn look on Tav’s face, and she replied. “I just want to look into it.”

That night Rolan poured over the library with her.There were portals, an easy enough thing to figure out, but Tav wanted a solution for Karlach’s engine. Infernal engineering was hardly his expertise, and Dammon was up to his horns in work. Rolan also already knew that the blacksmith had exhausted his knowledge to make it so Karlach could touch people once more, making the engine stable in the material plane was, as far as he knew, not possible. 

“I don’t understand any of this,” Tav muttered. 

“Your many talents don’t include infernal engineering?”

“Not yet,” she arched a brow at the book in her hands. 

“Perhaps after things settle down,” Rolan offered, “Dammon could look further into it.” 

It was a poor attempt to make her let it go, even temporarily. And she saw straight through it. 

“You’re trying to placate me,” she narrowed her eyes at him. “You don’t think I can do it.”

“What I think you're capable of is irrelevant. You are not a smithy of any kind, and have no firsthand knowledge of the hells let alone the machinery built specifically to withstand its atmosphere,” Rolan said evenly. “I understand the pressure you feel, but you’re one person —“

“No, you don’t understand,” she snapped. “I wasn’t just one person, I was seven. You don’t know what it’s like to feel someone else’s fear as if it were your own, their sadness and joy — to experience their darkest memories, as if you’ve lived them yourself. They trusted me, they looked to me to keep them safe, to keep us on the right path — “ she stopped to take a deep breath, eyes closing as a shaky exhale forced its way out and gave away how affected she was. “Karlach and Wyll should be here.”

Rolan felt the sting of her words deeper than he wanted to admit. An ugly jealousy reared its head; all but one of the six had left her and he was right there and that still wasn’t enough. He never seemed to be up to the task. The urge to lash out was strong; helpless against the scratching in his chest he felt himself get angry. 

“I’ll leave you to your research,” he said shortly. 

The silence was only filled by his footsteps on the tile floor as he made his way out. He passed Shadowheart in the hall as she made her way to her room for the night, offering only a curt nod in her direction as he picked up his pace to avoid conversation. His temper was quickly slipping, and he was sure he’d snap at the next person who would make eye contact with him. He made it to his borrowed room and slammed the door shut behind him. His tail flicked back and forth in sharp, angry movements, hitting the wood of the door with heavy thumps. He needed a distraction. 

Rolan sat at the desk in the small guest room which he had taken to since insisting Tav take the master suite. He grabbed his spell book, dug into the desk drawer for a quill and some ink and opened to his most recent page. Unfinished notes about a telekinesis spell, something he wanted to try to modify to control the trajectory of an object rather than just send it flying backwards. 

A thin chain was nestled in the gutter of the book, carefully attached to his ribbon place marker. The dangling pearl hung over the edge. When she had asked him to keep it safe he knew it needed to be with the one thing he always had with him, and took the greatest care of. His finger ran over the pearl and he winced. 

Gods, I’m a fool, he thought as he flipped to another page. 

Despite the fact that the very mention of her group had sent him into a jealous fervor, and that he was really rather irritated with her, he knew immediately what might cheer her up. And he was not going to stop the impulse to do it. He never did. It felt like insanity. He tried and tried to be exactly what he thought she wanted and never felt it was enough. Time and time again, he went against every instinct of self-preservation he had clung to so desperately his entire life to try and let himself fall further for her. 

Rolan carefully read his notes, going over the incantation, double checking his components, and practicing the hand movements. Once he was more confident he knew what to do, he cast Sending for the first time in his life, thinking hard on the recipient. The rush of the weave molding to his whim sparked the usual comfort, this time punctuated by the hum of the spell awaiting his message. 

“Gale, it’s Rolan. Where the bloody hells have you two been? We are awaiting your hasty return. Tav and Shadowheart are currently at the tower.”

He let some of his irritation bleed into the message. If anyone deserved a bit of his ire, it was those two. Then he waited. The hum of the spell still resonated in his mind as the connection stayed and awaited the reply. 

“Ah, Sending! Clever.” Gale’s downright chipper voice broke through. “Astarion and I were simply working on a solution to — ow! My love, please, I only have twenty-five words! Now, Rolan we —“

The spell cut out, Gale having used a good chunk of his limited verbiage to scold Astarion. Rolan felt a throb in his temple, and rubbed at it. Gale was thus far the most admirable and well-learned wizard he knew. He respected the man more than he could say, but even he was prone to making Rolan question the sanity of Tav’s entire operation. To think the world had been in their hands, only they were truly crazy enough to pull it off, he believed. At the very least he could assure Tav the two were alive and well. 

A gentle humming of weave wrapped around him, and in his ear as if the man was right in front of him, Rolan heard Gale’s voice. 

“Apologies! Astarion and I will make our way to the tower shortly, we have much to discuss. Expect us tomorrow! How are Tav and Shadowheart?”

Rolan clenched his teeth, and spoke out loud. “They’re both safe now, no thanks to you. Forewarning, neither are pleased with you two. You’d better come up with a good excuse. Good evening.”

There was not another message. Rolan felt a sense of satisfaction in letting them sweat in the knowledge that their friends were waiting on them. It had been hard to see Shadowheart struggle with being the last of the original six on her feet, and the two had been one of the first things Tav had asked about when she finally awoke. 

It had been nearly a week with no word. He was certain Tav would not have been so harsh with him earlier were her friends there with her. The ache of jealousy still settled in his chest, he wanted nothing more than to go back to the study and be near her but pride was preventing him from walking out of the door. 

He went back to his spell book, ready to make more notes on the new discoveries from the sending spell and finish working on his telekinesis alterations. Whenever he paused to think or stopped to read over his notes, his thumb  gently rubbed over the pearl still dangling there.

Tav felt horrible about what she said. After Rolan left her alone in the study, she tried to read more about infernal steelwork through tear blurred eyes. Another thing to add to her pile of failures, festering in the pool of guilt that seemed permanently settled in her stomach. 

Immediately she wanted to apologize. Her temper could be quick but she knew when she was wrong. Tav went to the door, looking out into the hallway, but it was empty. She had no idea what room he was staying in, since he insisted she kept using his for the time being. Unable to do anything else, she went back to the book she had found and read it until her eyes ached. 

The next day Rolan was not at breakfast. Everyone had stopped their hovering, after a few days of rest and recovery from the battle and her return from death, Tav felt almost entirely back to her old self. When she came down into the shop section of the tower for the first time, she was surprised to see it set up as a sort of healing center. Shadowheart informed her that compared to the night after battle the place was much less crowded. 

 Shadowheart joined as Jaheira walked Tav through the city, discussing the rebuilding efforts. As before the attack, the upper city was closed off, the efforts to salvage the destroyed streets had apparently been well underway before anyone official besides Florrick paid attention to the lower city. 

A good chunk of the patriars and nobles had been murdered at Gortash’s coronation. Their heirs were all banded together to be the new saviors of the city, buying first the love of the richest by repairing their streets first. It was clear that the new favorites in the lower city were the Harper’s, Florick and even the new master of Ramazith’s Tower. 

She was told of his efforts to keep open the doors of his home as a refuge, and even some stories of him running around the morning after the battle to help wherever he could. Pride welled up in her, even if he was not speaking to her currently, she was so pleased to hear him praised that she could hardly keep from smiling. 

Despite Shadowheart’s hesitance, Tav volunteered to immediately start getting to work. It felt good to do something besides force herself to walk around the tower until she got too tired to continue. Shadowheart had taken on a lot while Tav was recovering, including informing a grieved Duke Ravenguard about the whereabouts of his son. Tav felt the need to make up for it. 

Outside of the shop in the square, Tav decided to try using some magic to fix up a broken wall. Stoneshape was a hard spell, but it felt good to use her magic. Once the exhaustion wore off it bubbled inside of her, crackling to be used, or to find a way out of her. On the road the tadpole often kept it under better control than she ever had alone and it had countless opportunities to lash out given all the fighting they had done. 

Gale had always been kind about it, but he mentioned more than once a bit of wizarding education to keep it under control would not hurt. She knew better than anyone he was right. Even with his help she still felt it crack and pull at her when she was particularly upset. 

The only thing that ever controlled it was to exhaust it. Use it all up until there was only the vague hum beneath her veins. She had gotten used to using pointless little spells in her everyday life to satiate its crackling need to fly out of her. Stone shaping buildings back together was a quite useful thing, she thought, given how deeply she was feeling guilt. 

An earth myrmidon came up next to her, its faceless head turned to help her with her task. She looked over her shoulder, trying to find its summoner. Her eyes caught black and amber, Rolan standing not too far off, but he quickly looked away. She kept watching, more of his summoned elementals were clearing rubble, an animated set of armor carrying new building materials to groups of people hammering away. All under his focused gaze as he waved his hands and used his magic to clean up her mess. 

Unable to stop herself, she came over to inspect his work. Arms crossed over her chest in a show of consideration as she tilted her head. 

“Master Rolan, you are making quite a name for yourself in this city,” she teased lightly. “How charitable, and generally decent of you to offer your services in this trying time.”

“How benevolent of you to notice,” he replied dryly. “Quite the compliment from the Savior of the Gate. I’ve been rather busy while you’ve been lazing away in the tower.”

“Well, I can’t be outdone,” she smiled. “I have a reputation as a hero, you know.”

“I do know,” Rolan’s lip twitched, fighting a smile. “All too well.”

“Rolan —“

“Astarion! What the hells are you doing?” 

Tav turned quickly at Shadowheart’s panicked voice. There in the street was Astarion, next to a grinning Gale, in broad daylight. Her heart nearly stopped at the sight and she was running towards them, Shadowheart having the same idea. There had to be something she could cast, something to block him from the sun, but her mind was coming up short. 

But as she approached, he wasn’t burning. There was no ashen haze over his face, his eyes were bright and… blue. 

“Don’t make a scene, darling,” Astarion said, but he seemed very nearly bashful. 

In fact, a soft pink blush was rising on his cheeks. His skin, though still pale, had a  glow to it. She’d grown so used to the marble like pallor of his skin, the undertones of pink made her feel like she was looking at a stranger. 

“You’re — how?”

“True resurrection!” Gale supplied gleefully at his side. “One of the only known cures for vampirism.” 

“How in the hells did you manage that?” Shadowheart was looking wide eyed at Astarion, while Tav touched his warm cheek. 

“Due to the nature of the orb, I acquired a scroll very early on in my isolation,” Gale explained, animated as ever. “As I pose no risk to any surrounding cities any longer, I found a much better use for it.”

“I’ve been so worried about you two,” Tav frowned. 

“You had a resurrection scroll this entire time?” Shadowheart snapped. 

“Well, yes —“ Gale’s mouth shut tight at Shadowheart’s blazing gaze. He looked to Tav confusedly. 

“I had some pretty bad wounds —“

“She died.” Shadowheart cut her off. “Bled out right on the dock after you two ran off, and I had no magic left. If Rolan hadn’t had a scroll at the tower —“

“But he did,” Tav interrupted, at the stricken look on Gale’s face. “It's okay, I’m fine.”

“It’s my fault,” Astarion said, a frown on his face as he refused to meet their eyes. Since he was not usually one to come close to apologizing, it made both Shadowheart and Tav give their full attention.  “I was… well, I thought I lost my time in the sun.” 

“Even if I didn’t come back,” Tav said, “I couldn't be angry at you for this.” She sniffled a little, “welcome back to mortality. You don’t look a day over 200.”

“Stop, you’ll make me blush,” Astarion preened. “Which is still the oddest sensation, all that warmth.” He touched his face.

“Given how long you two were gone I imagine you’ve rediscovered just how warm you can get,” Tav teased. 

“I’m so sorry,” Gale said, wincing. “I’d assumed we were all in the clear.”

There was a silence and Astarion’s new eyes looked to Tav and then Shadowheart. “It’s really just us now, isn’t it?”

“For now,” Tav smiled sadly. “Quiet, isn’t it?”

“Odd. And… well, I won’t say I miss you all in the back of my mind but,” he frowned a little, “it was something, wasn’t it?”

She didn’t need the tadpole to know they all understood. Tav yanked Astarion into a hug, but it took a few moments for him to return the gesture. She flailed her hand around to find Gale’s sleeve and pulled him in too. Shadowheart looked like she was going to stubbornly ignore Gale’s outstretched arm but Astarion rolled his eyes. 

“If we are doing group hugs you can’t make me endure it alone,” he said to her. 

Shadowheart gave in, and no one mentioned the tears rolling down her cheek. Astarion’s heartbeat was in her ear, Gale’s hair tickled her face, and Shadowheart was smashed against her side with a desperate grip on her shirt. The fact they were all in each other’s head had made their time together intimate regardless of whether they wanted it to be or not. In the absence of it, Tav was ready to claim whatever closeness to them she could. 

“Can we get a victory drink now?”

There had been a small celebration at the Elfsong after the emotional reunion in the square. Rolan gave them their space. On the outside of her life, as he always seemed to be. A bittersweet contentment was living in his chest, to see her so happy and feeling that he had no place in her celebration. 

But he was not going to be the one who brought down the mood of the evening. He, afterall, had much to be grateful for as he spent the night drinking with his siblings, Alfira and Lakrissa. Some of the others from the caravan had even come out. By the end of the night, he made sure the very drunk heroes made it up to their suite and returned to the tower. 

Now that she was settled in with her friends, he had his bedroom back. When he laid down, his pillows still smelled of her. He loved it. He loved her. For so many days he had avoided calling it what it was, even in his own mind. He would admit to himself that she was as dear to him as his siblings, he would admit that he wanted her - sometimes so badly it felt like he was being burned alive, but calling it love seemed to be a nail in a coffin. 

Because Tav obviously wanted him in some way. She trusted him with her most prized possession, she asked him on a date before running off to save the world, and she was always looking for ways to bother him. But be it an Elderbrain, death itself, or some slip of the tongue that nearly started an argument it never seemed to come to anything. 

Rolan drifted off to sleep that night trying to figure out why. 

In the morning, he busied himself in the tower. There was still so much to do, and he had spent most of the past week running around the city. Eventually, the Sorcerer’s Sundries would have to reopen, and he had a lot to change around the upper levels of the tower. It saved his pride to be away from questions about Tav, and it was a temporary distraction. 

“There you are,” Cal came up sheepishly. “I know you said not to bother you — “

“And yet here you are.”

“There’s a lady down stairs,” Cal began. “She won’t go away, and she keeps asking for Tav.”

“You can tell her that the Saviors of Baldur's gate aren’t at the beck and call of any civilian who fancies meeting them,” Rolan grumbled, “and the Master of Ramazith’s Tower is not their secretary.”

“Rolan,” Cal called for his attention seriously. “She says she’s Tav’s mother.”

Thank you for reading!

NEXT CHAPTER

[ladyescapism]

fractured bonds - part 4

summary: Rhys' little sister has always been nothing but loyal to her brother and court. however, the cauldron chooses the most inconvenient male as her mate: Eris Vanserra. will Ryn accept the heir of autumn as her mate? will her family?

part 1 -- part 2-- part 3

a/n: there will be one or two more parts to this, I just need to decide if there will be a confrontation with Azriel and Cassian as well or just a conversation between Eris and Ryn.

anyways, hope you enjoy and let me know if you want to be tagged!

warnings: emotions

wc: 2,000

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rhys POV

“Mate,” Cassian snapped in disbelief. 

“I saw them, brother,” Rhys sighed. “It seemed like a mate bond to me.” 

He could scarcely believe it himself.

“But mates are supposed to be equals,” Cassian interjected. “Eris is a snake and well…” he trailed off. Rhys knew what he meant. And Ryn was their sister. Their baby sister. 

“We can’t focus on that now,” Feyre added, trying to be a voice of reason. “What we know for certain is that Ryn is healing, and that’s a good thing.” 

“You’re right, Feyre,” Cassian said. “But the thought of his hands on her.” 

Rhys saw Cassian’s hands clench and the siphons topping them glare. He glanced to Mor, who was suspiciously quiet about this whole situation. She looked up and met his eye. 

He could see it all there. All the questions. How long did Ryn know about the bond? Had she formed a relationship beyond it with Eris? What was her future going to look like? 

Holding eye contact for a moment longer, Mor rose, and showed herself out of the tent. Azriel’s eyes followed her form out, shame still clouding his features for Ryn’s state. 

“You didn’t know, Az,” Rhys said before Az disappeared. “You did what you could with the information you had.” 

Rhys knew it didn’t matter. No amount of absolution from himself, or Ryn, or any of them would make Azriel forgive himself. 

“Let’s all get some rest,” Feyre soothed. “It’s been a long day.” 

Leaving Azriel, Cassian, and Feyre to mutter about their shock at the revelation, Rhys trailed after Mor, knowing where she went. 

When he arrived at the healing tent, Mor was sitting outside on an overturned bucket. Rhys stopped a few feet from her. 

“I almost went in,” she said to the ground. “But I don’t want to put any more stress on her trying to send Eris away if she is hallucinating that she needs him.” 

Before Rhys could try and comfort her, Madja came through the tent flaps. “I was just about to come looking for you. I have some updates about Kathryn.” 

Mor rose to her feet. 

“There is minimal l damage to her body from the poison. My prognosis that she will make a full recovery in three days maximum holds.” 

Rhys heard the sigh of relief that came from Mor. 

“She is still dehydrated and exhausted. She had not been able to keep down any food, but I awake and talking.” 

Mor’s body lurched for the tent flaps but halted herself. 

“He has been by her side this entire time. I haven’t told him anything other than that she will be fine,” Madja said, looking at Mor’s conflicted face. 

“Thank you,” Rhys said, dipping his head in her direction in a silent dismissal. 

Ryn’s POV 

Everything was a blur. Ryn’s entire body felt like it had been used in place of a sparring dummy. And her head felt like an Illyrian legion trampled over it. She needed water. 

She peeled her eyes open, the desperation for water driving her. As her vision became focused, she was surprised to find the fire-headed male before her. Eris had stayed with her. 

Ryn could not speak. Her throat was too dry. And she would have no idea what to say to him. 

Thanks for saving my life, I guess. I still can’t bring myself to accept that were mates though. Hopefully my family doesn’t kill you before I can think about this a little more. 

She gently smacked her lips together, hoping Eris got the point. He did, and promptly brought over the glass of water someone left in the tent. Ryn worked her way up onto her elbows, every movement sending pain lashing through her body. Once she was propped on one elbow, she reached a shaky hand for it, but Eris said nothing as he lifted the glass to her lips for her and tilted it so she could sip. 

“Thank you, Eris,” she said after a few mouthfuls. “For everything and the water.” He set the glass on the ground. 

He didn’t reply, but his chest heaved with a sigh at her words. His head fell into his hands. With only them in the tent, she felt comfortable enough to reach her hand out to touch his forearm. 

His skin was warm. Ryn could feel the corded muscle there, powerful and taught. If she was well, she would have imagined how those arms could hold her. Either lovingly or passionately. She felt what it could have been like between them during that moment in the corridor. 

Eris lifted his head but did not move his arm from her reach as he stared at where their skin connected. As if he too was seeing the few inches of skin that connected in that moment but felt what that would feel like all over his body. 

He finally looked her in the eyes, his rich amber meeting her icy cobalt, and she saw everything there. The concern. The worry. The relief. The anger. 

“Eris,” was all she managed to whisper before movement at the tent flaps caught her attention and she dropped Eris’ forearm. 

“Ryn,” Mor breathed out. Her eyes darted from Ryn to Eris, and at the hand that Ryn dropped but not quickly enough that Mor didn’t see. The betrayal that lingered in her cousin’s eyes made Ryn want to crawl into her own skin and never come out. 

Rhys came in behind Mor and gave Ryn the same look he had been giving her for centuries. The combination of disappointment and resignation that always made her feel so small. She could handle being tortured for a few hours, but having both of them giving her the look was going to make her have a break down. 

Not wanting to cry in front of Eris, Ryn asked, “Can you excuse us? I need time with my family.” 

Eris agreed, wishing her well on his way out. He didn’t bother to say anything to Rhys or Mor. Either from anger at being pushed out or knowing that nothing he said made this situation any better. 

As soon as he left the tent, Mor rushed to Ryn’s side. Immediately, she pushed the sweat slicked hair from her face and fussed that she was too hot, and the fever clearly hadn’t broken. 

“I’m fine, Mor,” Ryn insisted. “Madja said that I should make a full recovery in a few days.” 

“Yeah, she told us too.” 

Both females looked into each other’s eyes. Mor had always been more like a sister than a cousin. Ryn had a sister once, but barely remembered her along with her mother. But Mor had always been in her life. Amren was there too, of course. However, Mor was the one who took her to get her first corset, talked her through her first cycle, defended her to Rhys when she went on her first date. It was Mor who had done so much for her and yet she was holding the hand of the male who had hurt her deeply. 

“By that look, I am assuming you know,” Ryn whispered to the bed sheets, noting the questions flickering in her eyes. 

“Rhys suspected when you came in together and he was acting like that.” Mor looked at her and took her hand, brown eyes pleading. “Tell me everything.” 

Ryn shook her head but before she could plead with Mor to not force her to break her heart, Mor insisted. 

“We tell each other everything!” Mor shouted, standing up from the chair. “Did I do something that made you think that you couldn’t tell me?” Mor gestured to her heart with her hand as her face twisted with anger. 

“I didn’t want this,” Ryn’s voice cracked as she explained. “I can’t stand that you’re mad at me, and Rhys giving me the I’m disappointed in you look.” Ryn couldn’t control when her own face twisted, and tears rolled down her face. 

“Why would I be mad about something you have no control over?” 

“Because he hurt you,” her voice broke. “He hurt you and yet… I feel things for him.” 

“I am not mad at you, baby,” Mor let out an exasperated sigh. “I am terrified for you.” 

Ryn stilled at the admission. 

“I am terrified that he will hurt you. I am scared that his father will get his hands on you. I am horrified that you will go into the court of snakes and not thrive,” Mor let every emotion show in her face. “And I am scared that you will leave this court and never come back to me.” 

“What makes you think that any force on heaven or earth could keep me from you?” Ryn felt the hot tears pouring down her face. “Eris has been my mate for two months,” she sucked in a breath, “You have been my everything since forever.” 

They stared at each other again, and Mor’s face contorted, and a sob shook her chest. 

Rhys went over to her, took her shoulders in his hands, and pulled her to his chest. She shook with silent sobs for a moment while Ryn looked on. 

After a moment, Mor stilled herself. Wiping away her tears, she moved to sit back down in the chair. Mor gave her a short smiled, picking up and ringing Ryn’s hand in her own. 

“Tell me how it happened,” Mor said. “Tell me everything.” 

“I don’t want to make you feel any worse.” 

“I need to know,” she insisted. “I think it will make it better if I am kept informed.” 

“Only if you’re sure.” 

Her golden hair reflected with the fae lights as she nodded her head. 

Ryn sucked in a deep breath, the expansion of her lungs burning a bit. Goddess on Earth she hated being injured. “Remember when Rhys sprung Eris and Keir on you at the Court of Nightmares? That night I went back to see if I could catch him doing anything suspicious. I followed him using the tunnel network you told me about.” 

“Clever girl,” Mor praised, and Ryn felt the smirk raise at the corner of her mouth before she could stop it.

Rhys moved and sat on the other side of the bed.  

“He caught me looking at him from behind a tapestry in the guest wing. I ran, but he followed me, cornered me, and…” 

Ryn trailed off, not wanted to share that she kissed him. 

“Well, when did the bond snap?” Mor’s eye filled with questioning. 

“He cornered me, and it was a heat of the moment, didn’t think it through, kiss.” Ryn lifted her shoulders towards her ears, feeling the blush rising there. “And that’s when it clicked.” 

“He didn’t force himself on you, did he,” Rhys questioned from where he sat. 

Ryn snapped her head to her brother. “No, you ass.” 

She huffed, turning back to look at Mor. “Listen, I love you but I am tired and somehow hungry and nauseous at the same time. Can I recover a bit more before we get deeper into this conversation?” 

“Already on it,” Cassian said, coming up behind Rhys, a steaming bowl of broth cradled in his hands. “I got one of the camp mothers to warm you up some clear broth.” 

Cassian lowered his large body onto the small bed, the frame dipping with his weight. Ryn sat up a little straighter and reached for the bowl. Cassian pulled it from her reach. 

“Sick babies get spoon fed,” he chided. 

Rhys stood, the bed getting a little too crowded. 

“What is with people not letting me eat or drink for myself tonight,” she exclaimed. The three of them looked confused before Ryn added, “Never mind. Just give me the damn soup.” 

Cassian laughed as he handed over the soup and everyone watched her take a few spoonsful. 

“So, Eris hunh?” 

Ryn peered up from him under her lashes, making direct eye contact as she took an obnoxiously loud slurp of soup. “Yep.”  

Cassian looked at her expectantly. “Have you figured out if the carpet matches the drapes?” 

Rhys reached out and swatted the back of his head. 

The males began bickering. But all their noise faded to the background when Ryn again looked to Mor and found her cousin staring at her with love and affection on her face, not a wink of betrayal in her eyes. 

All works:

@feysandzoyalailover @fanfictioniseverything @humanpersonlasttimeichecked @marina468 @singhillada

Fractured bonds:

@a-mexican-waffle @cafe-inaaa @feiwelinchen @theviewfromtheotherside @chasing-autumns-chill @mineymak712 @hells-sluttiest-new-arrival @the-sweet-psycho @impossibelle @nanamihokage98 @theviewfromtheotherside

[lauronk]

wip ask game

rules: list the names/titles of docs in your wip folder & open your inbox to questions about them (and i will share snips where able!)

thanks for the tag @two-birds-alone-together

and uhhhh buckle up y'all, it's a LIST. i tried to keep it a little organized

works that actually have words in them:

bank robbery - answered joel owns a bar - answered plane crash - answered & answered turn the page bthb/whumptober - bleeding out/friendly fire bthb/whumptober - appendicitis/surgery - answered bthb - comatose - answered bthb - hiding an illness - answered gthb - naps classes the sunshine of my lifetime (emotional damage pt 1) emotional damage pt 2 foster - answered & answered if you can wait till i get home - answered jelly 2 camping boogaloo joel gets sick - answered maria pov - answered near miss - tommy & ellie - answered piece by piece - answered separated stabby - answered take me to the lakes - answered

works that don't have words but have ideas/bullet points/a random sentence:

whumptober - hallucination w - sunburn w - not realizing they're injured w - blow to the head w - seeing double w - starvation - answered w - childhood trauma - answered w - nowhere else to go w - blood trail w - regret bthb/whumptober - mistaken identity/emotional angst - answered b/w - missing & presumed dead/race against the clock ghost pretty much any and all bthb except the ones listed above (the card for reference) corn harvest - answered ellie gets in a fight first snow joel the fixer leave ellie at state house pizza post-making of cure sarah's mom in jackson sigh - regency fic (for rocky & steph) [that's actually what that one's called lol]

also if you requested a ficlet feel free to ask for an update on that, i have a couple completed and a couple i'm still working on.

but i think that's all of them

[toxic-mothers-tourney]

Toxic fictional mothers tournament!

About

this bracket is focused on finding the WORST unhinged woman inflicting psychological damage to the people around them, especially their families/kids

no real people or OCs

this poll is not meant to glorify or romanticize abusive behavior. be safe and use your best judgement for yourself

a note on content warnings: obviously every entry here will involve some degree of emotional abuse, manipulation, etc. and physical abuse is also common for many of the characters. for cases that include further CWs am adding a content warning at the beginning of each character-specific propaganda in the poll. as stated earlier, I will not be including any character whose nomination is due to sexual violence or abuse. PLEASE let me know if you'd like anything else warned for

mod: bi, uses she/her, and is pro-choice I love abortion and trans rights 💪 also I hate proshippers get a life

Other info

all art is either official, a screenshot/panel of the media, a stock image, or from the wiki page

bracket will be 32 characters and rounds will run for one week each

updates may be slow as I work fulltime but I will try to run each character poll, starting on saturday, for 1 week, and post a new one the day after it finishes

Propaganda: tag me or reblog with your propaganda to ensure I see it. I will reblog propaganda replies if I see them

I may be an atheist but it is the official stance of this blog that God is a woman and uses she/her pronouns

[slutsareteacherstoo]

Haunt Pt 1 of 2

Im letting something out yall.

I apologize in advance, this will not be proofread. Im typing this in my notes app. Like will update with more/better warnings and tags later

Its def a lot of angst, cussing, yelling. Its all hurt; no comfort 🙅🏿‍♀️. This IS a one-shot (lmaoo there will ONLY be a part 2 cuz im still in my feelings but need to sleep but I found a good stopping point).

This is my contribution to spooky season (in the sense that feelings are scary and sometimes the scariest things are facing the consequences of your actions and the ghosts of your past coming back to haunt you)

Gender neutral /gender expansive!OC Lee x Terry Richmond

Lee was sitting on the couch watching TV. Their legs were drawn up, feet touching the arm rest. They were covered by a golden honey blanket. The pumpkin jack-o-lantern plushie their friend, Tania had gifted them, served as a source of comfort during the film they were watching.

It was some thriller Tania recommended. The protagonist found themselves in an archive of sorts. Phone in hand as flashlight, they were combing the files looking for proof of some sort in the dim room. She grabbed each thick folder and flipped them open. Photos and documents were paper clipped and stapled together. They were thumbing through the items. The camera caught on key words like “discarded” “records not found” “fate unknown” “missing teen” “missing child” “missing woman” “missing man”.

And suddenly a phone rang.

Lee was on the edge of their seat, excited to see what would happen next. Would the phone call our protagonist received distract her time-limited search? Would it help her or hurt her?

And then it rang again. Lee looked at the screen with a slight frown. The protagonist was still combing through the files, gathering whatever evidence she needed.

Damn, maybe this was a call that might actually be helpful for ol’ girl but something is about to happen to her in a minute.

Lee’s thoughts were cut off by the shrill sound of ringing AGAIN. Realizing they weren’t from the screen, but rather Lee’s own phone. After fumbling under the blanket for the remote, they quickly pressed pause. Using their other hand, Lee went to pick up their phone.

Who could be calling at this time of night? The phone was set on “do not disturb”. Do people not understand the meaning of that purple, crescent moon?

Maybe it was their mama or their uncle. Those were the only two people on one hand who could get through on Do Not Disturb. But they had specific ringtones. The one that came from Lee’s was the one that matched the film’s. Flipping their phone over and seeing the contact name, it made Lee want to scream. To cry. To throw up. A fury of emotions ran through them at once.

👁️👄👁️

mobile

It stopped ringing. And all Lee could do was stare at the phone in a state of anxiety, like it was a cursed thing. This could not be happening right now. Breathing a long sigh, they tentatively reached for the phone and glanced at the call log. The same contact name appeared 3 times. Had he really called them 3 times?

Lee forgot it was a privilege they gave him so long ago. That he of very few people would be able to stop whatever Lee was doing and they’d be sure to pick up.

I mean, was this really happening right now? It had to be a terrible dream. Because there was no way in hell that this man ——

One

Two

Three low, hard knocks sounded on the wood of their apartment door.

Lee swiped sweat from their brow they weren’t aware they’d built up. Their breathing was low and slow, but still staggering and shaking like the rest of their body. Their eyes scanned the room for something, something that they could use to defend themselves and inflict damage if need be. But all they could see was a pen. A sharp one with great ergonomic grip. Lee would stab whoever the fucker was.

I mean was it him anyways? It could be coincidental that there was a knock after the phone call just ended. Because there was no way that the person who Lee thought had called, would even show up like this. Not after how he left things. How he left them.

Two sharp raps into the hollow of the wood frame brought Lee out of their thoughts.

No, it had to be him. Those last knocks were his signature. That made the pit in Lee’s stomach to grow deeper.

Lee waited for a moment before grabbing the ergonomic pen and creep slowly to the door.

He wouldn’t knock again.

—————————

Okay pt 1 of my one-shot. That’s it. Going to bed now. If shit seems fucked, it probably was. I’ll fix it

Hope you enjoyed <3 :)

[danpuff-ao3]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag @lizzy0305! 😘

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

118 altogether. Some old Marvel fics, some meta...107 of them are HP fics.

2. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently only Harry Potter, though I've got some old Marvel ones up.

3. Top five fics by kudos:

Oh hey! It's changed since I last checked...my Top 5 used to be all from the Yes, Daddy series, but a couple of others broke through! Now we have...

Daddy's Boy

Obscene

Daddy Knows Best

Breed Me, Daddy

Contempt

4. What’s your total ao3 word count?

749,120 as of now!

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do my best to! I've had a hard time keeping up with it lately, but my goal is to get to them all eventually...I want all of my commenters to know how very much I appreciate them!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Haha...haha...huh. Idk. I write too much angst 😭 How am I supposed to pick? I think either A Matter of Time or In My Veins (In My Blood) are probably the worst 2, maybe?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

...do I write happy endings? Jk, jk...Oh yeah! The Curse of Anteros for sure has a happy ending. A well earned one at that!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Sometimes! Collateral Damage got some hate for a certain twist 👀 Most of my dead doves get weird comments, because I don't pull my punches. The odd weird or rude comment scattered elsewhere. I try to handle it with grace, but honestly I'm a big ole sensitive baby so...🥲

9. Do you write smut?

Oh hell yeah 😈

10. Craziest crossover?

No crossovers really, though I want to write a HP + PJO crossover one day...

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, and may it stay that way.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep! And I'm super honored by it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not yet! But I'd like to one day.

14. All time favourite ship?

Snarry 4 life.

15. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably old ones from my earlier days, but anything I've posted within the past few years I fully intend on finishing. Even if smile with sweet surprise only gets 1 update a year 🤣

16. What are your writing strengths?

idk 🥲 umm...I write emotions pretty well I think. I write angst pretty well especially. I really care about the characters and portraying them as honestly as I can, and as real as I can, accepting all of their humanity, good and bad.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Hmm. I don't think I could write fluff to save my life...I've made some attempts but 😂 I struggle a lot with my work for various reasons, none of them easy to put a name to. I do have a hard time balancing the idea of...wanting to leave a lot to implication, but trying not to be so subtle people don't actually have a hope of catching on at all. (Thank god for beta readers.)

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I like it, but I worry about Google Translate failing me 😭

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Harry Potter!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

For sure it's Contempt, and its counterpart Devotion. Truly the story of my soul. All of my feelings about Snarry poured into it. 20+ years of passion and devotion to this pairing! I'm not sure I could love anything more or be prouder of anything more. (Though I do think The Curse of Anteros is my best work, but Contempt/Devotion will always have my heart!)

Tagging: @perverse-idyll, @writcraft, @ac1d6urn, @loneamaryllis, @fleetingdesires, @greenmegsnoham, @lqtraintracks, @somnwritessometimes, @aeternumregina, @broomsticks, @thistlecatfics, @maesterchill, @wolfpants, @mintawasalreadytaken, @saintsenara, @the-paper-monkey, @ashesandhackles, and anyone else who wants to play!

[acetone4veins]

About me and links to my writing and hcs!!

Andi, she/her, 20

Latina - fluent in English and Spanish

Currently studying Behavioral and Cognitive Neuroscience

This blog is primarily for all iterations of mean girls

Will also probably post anything related to Reneé, including slocg

You can find me on my main blog here where I mainly reblog random text posts or things for other fandoms I'm in

Multishipper!!! You'll see me reblogging posts for a variety of mg ships because I love all of them

Always willing to talk so feel free to send me messages or asks or prompts about anything!!!

Click read more for an updated list of my works and hcs!

Navigational tags

#andi speaks for text posts #andi writes for fics #andi answers for responses to asks

was i born with this longing inside me? (will it ever go away?)

30k word Regina character study about her relationship with touch over a span of 10 years, no ships but explores her relationships with her parents, little sister, Janis, and the plastics, lots of angst and hurt/comfort but happy ending

all i want is her to get lost in

Regina/Janis established relationship, 4k oneshot, fluff and minor hurt/comfort, scenes of them and the five love languages plus a bonus at the end, this is literally so soft

feel the music more (when i’m with you)

Regina/Cady, multichapter au, cady’s a dedicated student who has to learn how to dance in order to get into her dream college, regina’s a former prodigy who’s been missing from the dance scene ever since an injury, based off the movie Work It on netflix

someday i'll be falling without caution

Regina/Gretchen, 1.9k words where they talk about what they mean to each other before senior year, hurt/comfort with a hopeful ending

Cadina Week Works

that's what scares me the most (knowing that you could just let me go)

Regina/Cady, 7.2k oneshot, day 1: tutoring/jealousy, fluff and hurt/comfort, cady starts tutoring a mathlete girl during senior year and regina doesn't take it well

so sweet with a mean streak (nearly brought me to my knees)

Regina/Cady, 5.9k oneshot, day 2: college, fluff, academic rivalry, regina's rivalry with a girl in her chemistry lecture escalated beyond just a rivalry

as if i'm not what you're waiting for (like i'm not in your ending)

Regina/Cady, 8.8k oneshot, day 3: bed sharing/reunion, emotional hurt/comfort, regina shares a hotel room with cady after not seeing her for eight years and old emotions resurface

i'm the wreckage and all of the damage

Regina/Cady, 5.4k oneshot, day 5: hurt comfort/scars, post bus fic where cady can't help but fixate on the new scars regina has

i'll meet judgement by the hounds

Regina/Cady, 1.8k oneshot, day 6: au/touch, short introduction and set up for a medieval au in which regina is a princess and cady is the assassin sent to kill her

Headcanon posts

Regina angst Regina fluff Gen Regina hcs Regina's chronic pain Gretchen's anxiety ADHD Regina Autistic Cady Rejanis Autistic Regina More autistic Regina Enby Regina Gen Gretchen hcs Autistic Gretchen Gretchen + giving people nicknames in Spanish

Characters/Relationships + quotes I relate them to

Part 1 Part 2

I'm always happy to accept requests and prompts, or even just asks about hcs for certain characters or ships - and like I mentioned before I am a multishipper! Willing to write for pretty much any combination of the female characters (including poly ships!!), especially any Regina ships since I find it easiest to write from her pov. Also willing to take asks about slocg! If you're wondering whether I'd write for a certain ship - go ahead and send it and I will tell you!!

[psychologeek]

Psy's masterpost

Like my writing? Came here for a prompt and wants more? (update: 06.05.24/

I HAVE AO3! PsycholoGeek feel free to look. (I love comments. Just saying 😜)

Writing Tags:

"my additions" (adding to others)

"my writing" (og/long adds)

"my poems" (poems)

Not all my writing is there, of course.

Fic Recs (personal favourites)

Who am I (to disappear) - DC, Cass-centric, 22k words. Who am I (to disappear) - David Cain tried to create a weapon. Weapon forge themself into something new. (Many names, they\them Cass). Ft. Kid!Jason, Mayan mythology, and the many forms of communication. It also has an extended version. I highly recommend reading the fic first, and THEN going for.the EV, as it contains spoilers and lose the emotional damage and delight you may get.

Witwat and the Jin - Batman, 2,245 words. Damian had a brother, once. (H/C. Happy ending.)

Grave Promises - Batman, 2,111 words. Healing and recovery and disability isn't a tragedy.

Sing Me To Sleep - DP*DC 19k words. Tws in tags. Tim and healing (it gets worse before it gets better. But it gets better.)

A list of my fics (complete and WIPs) undercut:

Completed one-shot:

Who am I (to disappear) - David Cain tried to create a weapon. Weapon forge themself into something new. (Many names, they\them Cass). Ft. Kid!Jason Todd, Mayan mythology, and sign language. (Stand alone, technically prequel to "Sweet Dreams", but no need to read.)

Grave Promises (Batman, 2,111 words) - very important to me. Life, recovery, and disability is not a tragedy. Barbara kill the Joker, but it isn't the focus.(Barbara Gordon focused.)

Do You Understand?  ( Encanto, 330 words).c

Witwat and the Jin (Batman, 2,245 words) - Dami-being-Dami and slowly understandings.

Just short of a fairy tale (I told myself that I wouldn't be scared) (Batman, 770 words) - urban fantasy. Jason Todd centric.

Sing Me To Sleep - DP*DC (19k words). After fired from Robin, Tim had enough. He's done with life. Clockwork said "not today, bitch" and got some good old ectoshot. Ft. Jazz Fenton as an older sister TM and the 3Ds as their usual chaotic selves. (I wrote the second half, chapters 2-6. A bit heavy, but I hope I did well with the subject.)

Hold Them Close -DP*DC (12k words). I wrote the first chapter+Fanart. Danny escaped Vlad and his experiments with bb!Ellie, and flew straight up-up-and above. In the watchtower, our heroes sees a monster and (what they think is) a child in distress. Misunderstandings and whump, with the last quarter of the fic as comfort and fluff :)

Main serieses:

Sweet Dreams - (DC, 3 works, 1 complete. ~17k words). Reverse Robins + Badman verse (inspired by @byrambles fic). Batboy's younger brothers were taken by the Batman who defeated his father. Trying to protect them, he promise his loyalty to the newcomer. But even though he assure him he is perfectly trained, and can properly punish the kids to surrender, the man isn't impressed. In which there's Misunderstandings and sadness (first fic). The series deals with trauma and the ongoing issues it causes, and shows how it changes you. TW: Include suicidality+mention of kid's suicidality, flashbacks, mentioned past child sexual abuse, dissociations, Whump and angst with eventual comfort. I don't go in details about their past, but it's important to notice that the first 2 fics contains HEAVY (but non graphic) themes.

Liminal Skills for the Living Dead - also known as "therapy verse". DP x DC xover. AKA Anger Management! Fake dating for fun and profit. Enter family, friends, and Wikipedia explanations of some necessary skills as titles. Jazz is her autistic with anxiety self. Jason is a crime lord with anger management issues.

Or: in which THERE'S THERAPY!! (6 works - 4 are complete. ~30k words)

Lost and Found (if this wings could fly) - also known as "FF AU". DP x DC xover. Jazz and Jason as childhood mutuals. (4 complete works, ~10k in total. more to come)

(also some other things. Feel free to look, ask and comment!)

[firstprince-ao3feed]

i love you it's ruining my life (and yrs).

by marvelouslysherlockedhunter It had been one kiss. Five years of friendship and a lone kiss, marking a moment frozen in time. Alex could still taste the sharp tang of vodka lingering on Henry's lips, pressed against the grime-covered door of a dingy bathroom stall. The lingering sensation of Henry's fingertips trailing under Alex's shirt remained palpable, a phantom sensation imprinted on his skin and seared into his memory. At that moment, Alex should have stopped him; should have mustered the strength to push Henry away—then and there. The fear of abandonment and the lingering wounds from his parents' divorce have erected a protective shield around Alex's heart. He struggles with the dilemma of letting Henry break through this barrier without succumbing to the fear of losing him forever. Though he tries to push Henry away, Alex finds himself torn by the relentless yearning of his heart for him. He hopes that there's still time to repair the damage caused by his actions and salvage what remains of their relationship. COMPLETELY WRITTEN. UPDATES ON THURSDAY AND SUNDAY Words: 3992, Chapters: 1/3, Language: English Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Alex Claremont-Diaz, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Nora Holleran, Original Male Character(s), Percy "Pez" Okonjo Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor/Original Male Character(s) Additional Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Second Chances, Explicit Sexual Content, Alex Claremont-Diaz Has Abandonment Issues, Alex Claremont-Diaz Needs a Hug, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Loves Alex Claremont-Diaz, Alex Claremont-Diaz Loves Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Needs a Hug, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Abusive Relationships, One Night Stands, Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, brief henry and original character mentioned, Alternate Universe via https://ift.tt/x5uTnXL

[achaotichuman]

I'm on an angst kick, so I decided to put my angsty oneshots on AO3.

Fandom- A Court of Thorns and Roses

Archive Warnings- Major Character Death

Rating- Mature

Categories- F/M, M/M

Relationships- Elain Archeron/Lucien Vanserra, Tamlin/Lucien Vanserra, Elain Archeron/Azriel, Jurian/Vassa (A Court of Thorns and Roses)

Characters- Eris Vanserra, Lady of the Autumn Court (A Court of Thorns and Roses), Beron Vanserra, Lucien Vanserra, Elain Archeron, Tamlin (A Court of Thorns and Roses), The Inner Circle (A Court of Thorns and Roses), The Band of Exiles (A Court of Thorns and Roses) - Character

Tags- Heavy Angst, Suicide, Angst and Tragedy, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Eating Disorders

Tags will be updated as new oneshots are posted. I am not to be held liable for any emotional damage sustained by reading these.

[much-vexed-glowy-mimic]

Got both my fics updated!

Chaos Engine (4344 words) by GlowyMimic Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Batman - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Batman/Joker Characters: Bruce Wayne, Joker (DCU), Mr.Freeze, Riddler, The Riddler, Edward Nygma Additional Tags: Batjokes, Established Relationship, Bruce is just in denial, Cryopod, arkham city, AU, Harley basically tries to injure Joker all the time in my verse, They are very broken up and everybody is happy about it, Possessive Behavior, Hallucinations, Gotham City - Freeform, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships Series: Part 2 of Spyder AU Summary: Bruce makes a choice, possibly for the right reason. Possibly. Order needs Chaos, after all.

-------

Prophecies and the chaos they bring (108954 words) by GlowyMimic Chapters: 28/? Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Batman - All Media Types, Midsomer Murders - All Media Types, Hogwarts Legacy (Video Game) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage Relationships: Batman/Joker, Luna Lovegood & Harry Potter, Past Harry Potter/George Weasley, Past Cedric Diggory/Harry Potter - Relationship, Joker (DCU) & Harry Potter, Joker (DCU) & Riddler, has shades of Joker/Riddler Characters: Harry Potter, Joker (DCU), Batman, Robin, Richard Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Rogues Gallery (Batman), Albus Dumbledore, Voldemort (Harry Potter), Luna Lovegood, Edward Nygma, Riddler, Poppy Pomfrey, Cornelius Fudge, Sirius Black, Hermione Granger, Severus Snape, Original Female Character of Color - Character, Original Male Character, Arthur Weasley, Molly Weasley, Bill Weasley, Ron Weasley, Petunia Dursley, Vernon Dursley, Dudley Dursley, Superman, Archie the Clown (DCU), Rita Skeeter, Florean Fortescue, Garrick Ollivander, Waylon Jones, Rogues (The Flash) Additional Tags: Harry has enough, Magic unleashed, Immense distrust issues, Harry's a bit fucked up to begin with, Harry isn't well, Harry Needs a Hug, Harry Gets A Hug, magical damages, Violence, Emotional Hurt, Past Child Abuse, Trauma, So much trauma, Wandless Magic (Harry Potter), Betrayal, trust lost, horcrux, AU, no beta we die like sirius black, no beta we die like robins, some OCs!, Batjokes, motives are put into question, Time Discrepancy, Spying, not voyeurism!, time abnormality, Harry fakes his death, Harry gets to recover, violence against Rita Skeeter, the mentioned underage is very consensual Series: Part 1 of Spyder AU Summary: Voldemort goes too far on the night of his rebirth and the saviour of the wizarding world, who has already had a hellish year filled with abuse, bullying from housemates who just don't believe him and neglect, snaps. Harry comes back with a magic limiter about to shatter and absolute hell breaks loose from there, as Fudge becomes dead set on keeping the truth buried. Chaos unfolds and the rings in the water reach all the way to the darkest of cities, Gotham. And Gotham does so enjoy chaos.

[ao3feed-bnha-rarepair]

One More Time

One more time by Nightly Stories

Midoriya Izuku is stuck in a time loop. And he hate it. Each time he died, or was close to, he would miraculously wake up after All Might gave him OFA. The first few times, Izuku had been hopeful to avoid the war, but it kepy happening. Often worse than last time.

But last time, Izuku had almost did it! This time, Izuku won't fail. And in his veins, he can feel OFA purrs in excitement.

Words: 639, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: M/M

Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Kirishima Eijirou, Bakugou Katsuki, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Sensei | All For One, Class 1-A

Relationships: Kirishima Eijirou/Midoriya Izuku

Additional Tags: Time Loop, KiriDeku forever, Feral Midoriya Izuku, BAMF Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku Needs A Hug, Midoriya Izuku Has One for All Quirk, Hurt Midoriya Izuku, Kirishima Eijirou is a Good Friend, Kirishima Eijirou is a Ray of Sunshine, Protective Kirishima Eijirou, Kirishima Eijirou is a Dork, Insecure Kirishima Eijirou, Kirishima Eijirou Needs a Hug, Pining Kirishima Eijirou, Suicidal Midoriya Izuku, Parental Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Yagi Toshinori | All Might is a Bad Teacher, but he is trying his best, Yagi Toshinori | All Might Being an Idiot, Rare Pairings, Slow To Update, Izuku being a menace to society, Sassy Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku Has PTSD, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Bakugou Katsuki Needs a Hug, No bashing on Bakugou but my boy is up for a ride, Buckle your belt, we are up for an emotional roller-coaster, Emotional Damage, War, Sensei | All For One is Midoriya Izuku's Parent

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43951920