#up-and-down symptoms | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

johnschneiderblog · 1 year ago

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Positively negative

Finally, after 12 days of positivity, a single red line came my way Saturday, freeing me to rejoin society.

Sharon, however, is still testing positive; she's a couple of days behind me, we suspect.

Meanwhile, our symptoms, though fairly mild, never followed the normal steady trajectory of improvement. They were up and down. Just when we thought they were gone for good, they would sneak back and ambush us.

I'll admit it - up until 12 days ago I was behaving as though COVID had disappeared. I think a lot of us are in for a harsh reminder this winter

#John Schneider #Sharon #COVID #positive and negative #up-and-down symptoms

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furiousgoldfish · 6 months ago

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me internally: I keep acting like everything is okay in front of others, and hiding my true feelings and state of mind. It's chafing on me and making me feel alone and frustrated at the lack of understanding. Maybe I should speak up and express myself more.

me: Hey, I know I act normal but in reality I am anxious and worried most of the time, and also in pain and re-living past memories and scared there won't be a future for me. I wasn't trying to hide it but I feel compulsed to act like everything is normal.

other people: stop thinking and feeling like that and be normal already. nobody wants to hear this

me: oh.

#struggle #ptsd #cptsd #hiding symptoms #mental illness #aftermath of trauma #life after trauma #i couldn't even tell you what i'm so stressed about right now #my adrenaline levels are up to the roof #it feels like i forgot a Great Danger and it will get me any second #but i have to make lunch and lie down and be calm

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shulkerbullets · 2 months ago

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ahhhh yes. mal du pays my beloved.

#isat #in stars and time #mal du pays #isat spoilers #technically #anyways this is a super specific thing to my thoughts but the basic idea is that i have a lot of headcanons about sif being a system #for a lotta reasons really. projection and source memories are a large one #ive named mal du pays lucius in my brain because its a common name in guadeloupe I THINK and well. thats the original insp for the island #its up to interpretation now buuuuuuut.....ya know. anyways i have many thoughts on sif system and lucius in particular #being what feels like a manifestation of all their negative emotions and symptoms #BUT BUT BUT #i also imagine theyre the first which is why their name is lucius to me. og host. sif is the split turned host. teehee #so naturally deep down they have a lot of their connection to the island #soooooooo. feelings ensue. yadda yadda i am typing too much #im so normal

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sangthael · 3 days ago

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when you say narcissist for jimmy you mean npd right .. just asking . nothing wrong with npd hcs i just wanted to know . some people rly hate npd jimmy but people need to realize that the *npd* doesn't make him bad it's *him* lol

yes i mean narcissistic personality disorder. i headcanon this not because of his shit from a butt actions but because of the way he reacts to stress & perceived condescension, and because he believes he deserves to be higher ranking and demands respect constantly from everyone, warranted respect or not. i would still hc him with NPD even if he wasn’t a bad person, it’s pretty woven into his character even if it’s not intentional

#personally i think it’s the “antagonistic” narcissism subtype #for the record i have NPD i don’t intend to be a dick in any of my narcissism portrayals #mostly just me seeing similar symptoms and pointing at it and jumping up and down like a monkey #i hate the way narcissists are portrayed in fiction so i try to be realistic when i shove npd onto a character #if you guys have criticism for the way im portraying it i’m all ears #mouthwashing #asks #anon

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themortaldraw · 6 months ago

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july is disability pride month, here's a skord link that Needs Salt

#so i have this salt wasting autoimmune condition #which is addisons slash APS type II #BUT symptom-wise it does have a big crossover with POTS #we both have. blood pressure. anyways. APS is uncommon; i don't think i'll find anyone else that has it here but that's fine. this is for M #me and people who enjoy claussen pickles #legend of zelda #link #skyward sword #art #shrimpdraws #happy disability pride month #i know several people with POTS in zelda so this one is also for you guys. together we stand up but not too fast and then we sit down after

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galedekarios · 6 months ago

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it's been a year and i still don't understand why ppl are deriding the astral sea version of gale's act 2 romance scene so much, trying to paint it as the "lesser" choice.

there's nothing even remotely practised or choreographed imo about baring your soul literally and figuratively to someone you're in love with.

#imo it's a symptom of ppl trying to be go down the 'you're more than your magic' route and taking it too far by trying to entirely separate #gale and magic #he literally spells it out to the player that to him sex is just a facet to show love #he doesn't just want one facet #he wants it all #in the night he believes to be his last #also i will never forget the devnote that's like 'bowing to the player's wishes' if the 'old ways' option is picked #it's literally him accomodating the protag #not the other way around #ch: gale dekarios #vg: baldur's gate 3 #series: baldur's gate #text: personal #fandom critical #not really tbh #just thinking out loud #since it's smth i've noticed popping up again and again

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thedreadvampy · 8 months ago

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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

#red said #recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis #like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes #and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not #for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening #i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine #as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital #as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin #ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes #some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am #bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me #like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD #there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife #but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't #tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us #like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well #i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point #anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also #been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them #i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it #most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables #honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk #is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry

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spaciebabie · 6 months ago

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part of growing up undiagnosed autistic is my mom talking about stereotypical autism traits that my diagnosed autistic brother definitely did not have but i did have

#spacie spoinks #like very specifically the aversion ta crowds #i would always wonder why i would get so nervous and want ta leave asap and my brother would. literally be chilling #my mom‚ literally just pretending my brother was experiencing symptoms: hey dont freak out!! whatever you do calm down!! we're leaving!!#my bro‚ chilling: aight #me: ohhh momtty i dont feel good aoooo ohhhh why is it so loud im realy scared for some reason rn #my mother: idgaf! pussy up rn!

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seithr · 10 months ago

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#sticks my hand out of the ground to give a thumbs up.#sorry a lot came down on me and I've been more than out of it and needed to stick my head in the freezer.#probably better I not say More but buhgh. still fuzzy. its been a long week. i always come back to dimitri. i guess hes a comfort character #whenever I get stressed to physical symptoms i end up with a big block of photos in my phone...lockscreen... pfp...dumb but. it works. agh.#pass the mitri...#armour clanking #fe3h #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #is it weird to put my tag-admission of life in a character tag? probably but i'm half-aware at best. i wish other dimitri fans a very mitri

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isbergillustration · 10 months ago

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I feel like absolute garbage today so no new art (sorry to the peeps whose commissions i promised to do today) but here is an update on this thing. Amputated part of its waist which is good, glued its legs on back to front which is. Unfortunate.

#n3783457 #my art #combination bad headache and fucked up my meds so ive been been seconds from throwing up for two hours straight #bleh #going to lay down and see if not having a cat stomping on my stomach helps the nausea #been taking my meds again like a good person for like six days but the very physical anxiety symptom that used to drive me to alcoholism is #still here. anyway. that's two years worth of oversharing for the art account. good night.#someone put what i think is a homestuck tag on this already and i consider that an act of aggression #go back to misidentifying my original art as welcome to nightvale or magnus archives if you must but homestuck?

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antxnous · 3 months ago

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Erm

#uh. my city is fucked up.#I literally do not know what to do #I just moved all my shit back into my room and ignored the rest of everything else #so much debris and flooding and the power is extremely spotty and there’s a tree leaning on one of the power lines 😭#baby gator has returned as well. so maybe it’s a good sign. tho she was chirping a lot #like the streets r fucking TRASHED #roads straight blocked and lights and signs down. roofs torn #ok… I’ll maybe delete later bc it’s kinda heavy stuff I guess #but also i still have lingering concussion symptoms?? 😭😭 but the clinic is closed?#maybe it’s stress??

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thousandyearphantombunker · 1 month ago

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I could've put any disorder but people seem to really hate people with down syndrome

Like I don't know how the autism community who fights autism speaks for trying to perform eugenics can ignore this- as soon as the disorder is downs or some intellectual/cognitive issue or has a physical look.

I'm so done.

#down syndrome #eugenics #ableism #You guys keep hating on people who use the term Asperger's but not understanding why #I swear to God #Aspie supremacists are bad not just because the label may or may not be anti semetic (all the resources seem contradictory)#It's also bad because we threw people who had intellectual disabilities under the bus #amongst other things #Honestly when we talk about disability we tend to focus on mental illness or ADHD/autism with a few aesthetic physical disabilities throwni #Physical disabilities that aren't aesthetic and learning/intellectual disabilities get ignored #Which is bad because our disabilities overlap more than people think and I'm not just talking comorbidities #I'm talking symptoms and the bullshit we get served #But if we mention that we are similar in any capacity then our community freaks out and gets insulted/thinks it will drag our progress back #As if failing to stand up for people similar to us doesn't fail our community in the long run #It just hurts the group we othered and those within our community that are similar #Also if you think someone should take an IQ test so they can vote then go get fucked #If you aren't ready to have a kid with down syndrome then your not ready for children- maybe one day you but if you fear having a disabilit #You can't test for autism or dyslexia or whatever plus your kid might get disabled later on in life

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stillgotscars · 5 months ago

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.

#my doctor put me on antibiotics because she thinks my kidney pain is the result of an infection #and it’s cleared up all the other symptoms i had of an infection #but my kidney pain is becoming more and more severe with every passing day #the fact that it’s the kidney i had to have reconstructive surgery on is just making me even more concerned and nervous #i’m guessing i will be sent for scans #but the thought of having to live with another kidney issue on top of all the chronic issues i have already has me feeling down and defeated #anyway #i know i’ll get through this #but i could really use a hug right now though #personal

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osamucide · 1 month ago

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chronic pain vent in tags feel free 2 ignore

#EVERY time i flare up #i go down a rabbit hole of fibro comorbidities and remember i have literally all of them #almost every single tender point and textbook symptom #per the american college of rheumatology or whatever #panic disorder and migraine and mdd and a cocktail of other shit #every single one #can’t afford a doctor #anyone in a financial position to help me get a diagnosis/treatment doesn’t gaf #mom thinks all my problems are because i’m lazy unmotivated on my phone etc etc #i get treated like a dumb kid whining for attention anytime i mention my chronic pain #i’m so miserable #and then what do i do because im in pain! i relapse 🥰#i relapse over and over and over again 🥰🥰🥰#this shit is so stupid it’s almost funny #it hurts to breathe it hurts to move it hurts to lay down #gary i need a salary #tw vent #tw chronic pain #tw relaspe

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ellcrys · 4 days ago

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so without going into details my body was really fucked up yesterday evening and all throughout the night and i really thought i was going to have a stroke or something lmao. obviously, that didn't help my anxiety so i'm lying in bed trying to fall asleep feeling like i'm going to have a panic attack and wondering what's real and what's my brain conjuring up symptoms due to runaway anxiety. what feels like hours pass and i'm still wide awake, brain racing, heart pounding, limbs kinda jittery and i'm reflecting on my day like was it something i fucking ate? and then i remembered the fucking milk tea at that lunch spot we went to and bruh i'm never intaking caffeine ever again

#as soon as i was like it's probably the fucking TEA my body immediately calmed down #it still took me like an hour to fall asleep after the fact but at least i didn't feel like i was actively dying anymore #all you coffee addicts out there laughing but i'm sensitive and i cut all caffeinated drinks out of my life years ago except #for matcha and green tea i hate it here #looked up 'too much caffeine' symptoms this morning like welp #milk tea doesn't usually fuck me up like this tho like what the FUCK was in that tea i'm crying

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vestaldestroyer · 1 year ago

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ok I wonder if there's someone out there who has this too

I don't get crushes or fall in love. instead, I become obsessed with people. I feel absolute loyalty and devotion to them. I'd do anything they ask without question. it's instinctive and automatic, I don't even think about it. I become their servant and follow them around like a puppy. every minimal attention from them gives me infinite joy.

this is always one sided and everyone eventually gets creeped out or annoyed and leaves. it breaks me every time. yet I can't stop it from happening. I try to hold back but it's almost impossible.

not that I would wish this on anybody, but please tell me I'm not the only one

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