#up to some shenaningans

[satellite-blossom]

Happy Wednesday, Shadow nation !

[grimowled]

Skibidi Toilet is now an art piece in some museums here and in the mortal world.

"OH, HOW MARVELOUS! truly, what a glorious testament to the refined taste of modern artistry! my, how the mortals - and some of our own, apparently - never cease to redefine the boundaries of … well, absurdity."

[verifiablebot]

(crawls away from my computer where i have been working on a website for over five hours straight) whuh. buh. why is it dark

[pandora-writes-one-piece]

Hi Pandora!!! Happy birthday!! 🎉🎉🎉Thank you for deciding to share the celebrations with all of us 😊 You've really got me on a Law kick lately with the Meet Cute, so could I get Law with "I’ve never met anyone as infuriating as you, and I can’t stop thinking about you"? Maybe NSFW with fem!reader?

@froggiewrites Froggie, Froggie, Froggie... your time has come! 😂 First of, thank you so much for the lovely birthday wishes! And now... I had so much fun writing this prompt, I do hope you enjoy it! Thank you for participating! ❤️

Source for Pic

Rulebreaker

Word Count: 3036

Tags: Fem!Reader; Teasing; Edging; Power Dynamics; Fluff Ending; NSFW; MDNI;

Special Warning: English is not my first language, I apologise for any possible spelling or grammar mistakes.

Summary: Law, your captain, is tired of the shenaningans you pull whenever the Heart Pirates land on a new island, so he devises a way for you to follow his rules.

Notes: I couldn't hold on another day. I regret nothing. Though I supose the day will come when I'll leave you guys high and dry (fic-less) for some time 😅 Anyway, this is not that time, so please, enjoy this meal!

|Masterlist|

“For the umpteenth time, Law! I know! Now give me a break!�� Logic never has been your forte. Thinking on your feet, damn right! Making hard decisions under stress, bring’em, baby. Endurance, the best at it! But logic? No.

So is it logical to argue with your captain after having disobeyed his orders yet again? Not in the least. And damned if there aren’t more than one reason not to lose your patience with him, way more than one, actually. First, you are in his office, second, he’s your superior, third, he’s your boyfriend. But fourth, and the most important one, there’s no getting away from Law if you make him snap. Literally. He’d shambles you from anywhere. 

Still, despite the violence with which your heart is hammering in your chest, your bravado remains in place, as you hold the stare with which his amber eyes pin you, not even flinching. 

“You know?” His voice is clipped as he leans back in his chair, fingers entwined and resting beneath his chin. Fuck, he’s pissed. “You claim to already know, but as soon as we land on another island, the first thing you do is get into trouble.”

“I don’t go looking for trouble, trouble finds me!” You say, trademark smirk in place before the little voice in your head starts to whisper in your ear. You’re going to regret pissing him off…

“That’s cute.” Is it? Because he’s not even close to being amused. 

“I know, that’s how you found me. You were the trouble, and you were drawn to me.” There. That has to placate some of his anger, right?

He sighs and closes his eyes for a moment as if pondering his next move. Then, he reaches for one drawer of his desk and removes an envelope. Curiosity nips at you while you angle your head, trying to see what he’s holding, but instead of hiding it, Law gets up, hands you the envelope, and walks to the door. 

What the hell? You open it and reach for a piece of folded paper as you hear the distinct click of the door being locked. “Am I supposed to read this?”

“Yes.” Clipped, curt, cold. You really pissed him off. 

The scribbled handwriting is a dead giveaway that this was written by Law, but knowing him for over a year, and being involved for half of it, you’re quite familiar with it by now. The letters on top instantly turn your curious look into a scowl. “Rulebook?” 

Law sits again and smirks softly, a barely-there twitch of the upper lip. “Looks like you need one.” You scoff as you skim the first articles.

“I play by the rules!”

“Really? Then why have I had to mend your slashed leg today? Tell me that.” Your teeth clack together as you close your mouth and nearly growl at him. Your name in his lips sounds like a warning. “It’s an order. Answer it.”

“Because I didn’t obey you.” You manage to sputter the words between your teeth and each of them parting your lips hurts more than the sword cut you received from the marines stationed at the island. 

“Hence the rulebook. It’s not unwarranted. I’ve known you for a year and every time we encounter a new island, you run amok doing your own shit and come back slashed, bruised, cut, or bleeding. I’ve had enough.” You swallow the knot in your throat as Law gets up, circling the desk and leaning on it, right in front of you. “I’ve never met anyone as infuriating as you, and yet, I can’t stop thinking about you. So it’s time you make me stop worrying, before I drive myself insane.”

Aww…You’d actually think that’s a cute thing to say, if it wasn’t for the unhinged glint in Law’s eyes or the way that his smirk makes you tremble in anticipation. 

“You want me to follow this rulebook?” He gives you that annoying ‘what do you think?’ look and you scoff. “There’s like fifteen rules here! I’m not following this!” Your eyes skim the rules again. “Report back every hour? What the hell, Law?”

“You can use a DenDen for that.” He’s enjoying this. You were expecting punishment, but not this kind of punishment, this is unbearable. “I’ll tell you what, sweetheart.” His voice softens as you glare at him through hooded eyes. “I’ll make you a deal.”

What?

“If you read me all the items in that rulebook without stopping, you don’t have to follow it.” What the fuck? Your head cocks to the side as your eyes switch between the paper in your hands and the amused glare of your boyfriend.

“Just like that?”

“With a few more conditions.” He chuckles with that low vibrato in his voice and your knees tremble. 

“Which are?”

“Get up.” When you do, he unzips your boiler suit all the way down, revealing the top you have underneath. “Strip the rest.”

“Is this a kink, Law?” You tease, knowing you don’t mind at all. If reciting the items naked for him is what gets you your freedom, you’re game. So you take everything but your panties because he stops you when you were going to remove them. 

“Perfect.” He says.

“Okay, I’ll start.” You clear your throat and bend your legs to sit when Law’s tutting stops you. “What?”

“Bend over the desk for me, sweetheart.” Bend over? Heat starts to pool at your core because that position over that desk has already given you quite a few orgasms in the past months, and you have excellent muscle memory. 

“Law?”

“It’s up to you. If you don’t read them, you have to follow them.” He pushes off the table as his eyes devour you, inch by inch, making you inhale deeply just to gather your thoughts again. 

“Fine.” Anything to not follow his stupid rules! You bend over his desk, which is conveniently the perfect height to line up your ass with his cock, as proven many times before, and push a few books to the side so you’re leaning on your elbows. You clear your throat again and begin reciting in a sing-song voice. “Rule number one: no wandering off alone! Sure, this one is simple, I usually go out with Ik– mmph, Law!”

Heat rushes to your cheeks as your body snaps with tension. Looking over your shoulder, you see your captain sitting in the chair you were in earlier, with his finger in your clothed cunt. 

“You stopped.” Fuck. “But I’ll give you that one, you weren’t prepared. Start over.” Your breath comes out in ragged gasps as you feel yourself already getting wet at the prospect of all the things Law is going to do to you. It kind of makes you want to throw the rules overboard and just beg him to take you right now.

“Fuck, Law. Okay, here we go: Rule number one: no wandering off alone!” A gasp leaves your lips and you close your eyes for a second as Law’s fingers tease your clit over the panties, the friction of the fabric increasing his touch. “Rule number two: Fuck, Law, like that.” You moan, closing your eyes again as he teases one finger inside the panties to see how wet you are. 

His tuts are unforgiving, and he removes his fingers altogether, earning him a grunt from you. “You stopped again, sweetheart.”

“Law!”

“The deal is: you read them all until the end without stopping, and you don’t have to follow them. Got it?” You groan and shake your head. That’s impossible. If he’s going to torture you  like this, it will be impossible to read the rules. 

“That’s unfair, Law.”

“Okay, then, you’re right. So how about this: you can pause three times during five seconds.” You nod. You can do that. Law’s hand caresses your buttcheeks as he talks, and every single rub makes you tingle.  “Moaning is encouraged, but keep reading. Oh, and when you pause,” Law removes his hands from you, “I pause. Keep that in mind.”

What? Now that’s cruel! You look at the rules again and feel angered. There’s no fucking way you’re going to follow them, you can do this! You can zone out. Let’s go!

“Fine! Okay, we’re doing this. Just know that you’re the infuriating one! Rule number two–”

“No, no, no. From the beginning.” Does this man want you angered or turned on? Because he’s doing both brilliantly. 

“Rule number one: no wandering off alone.” You cry out softly as his hand slaps your ass, leaving the most marvellous burning sensation behind, which he soothes with a caress. “Rule number two: report back every hour. Oh, my God.” You take a deep breath before reading the other one, trying to focus on the words instead of the slow way he’s pulling your pants down your legs and breathing against your cunt.

“Rule number three: no-... no-... my God, Law.” He’s using his tongue! He swipes up from your clit to your hole in a long upwards streak, then probes around the entrance with slow, teasing circles. He inches just the tip of his tongue inside as his hand reaches to brush against your swollen clit. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“One… Two…” His movements stop, and he starts counting the seconds you’re quiet against your cunt, making you shudder. The dry thud of your forehead against the wooden desk should ground you, but it’s impossible when he was working his fingers like that. “Three…Four…” One more second to regain focus, one deep breath to continue. “Five.”

Just as you open your mouth, so does he, tongue reaching inside you, twisting and curling to hit delicious spots as you cry out his name before your muddled brain repeats the same word over and over: read, read, read!

“Rule number three: no unauthorized fucking fights!” An unbridled moan parts your lips as Law switches up and two of his fingers go where his tongue was and his tongue sucks on your clit. “FUCK. Rule number four: ah, Law, ah! No reckless stunts! That was one time! One–... ahhh!” You suck in three deep breaths and punch the table as his fingers curl and his teeth nibble gently, just the way he knows you like.

God, you’re so close. Your legs numb and tense up as heat spreads throughout your veins. The pressure in your abdomen threatens to release at any given moment and you can’t stop right now. 

“Rule number five: don’t stop, Law! Don’t… ah!” You cry out his name as wave upon wave of pleasure washes over you, taking your sanity with it and blurring your vision until tiny white dots are all you can see. Sweat drips from your temples, and your elbows give out as you squeeze your breasts against the table. Your hands find purchase against anything to help you ride this high, and there’s now a book on Law’s desk with very crumpled pages. 

You’re still breathing hard, trying to regain focus when the buzzing in your ears subsides, and you hear Law’s voice again. “Four…” Fuck, fuck, the list! You open your eyes with a deep exhale and focus back on the now crumpled paper, just as Law finishes his count. You’re now down to one more pause. Crap.

“Rule number five: do not interact with suspicious strangers.” You hear Law unbuckling his belt and start to read faster, even though the aftershocks of your orgasm are still making you shudder and gasp. “Rule number six: do not go to bars without me.” Well, that one is warranted. You pretty much fuck everything up when you’re wasted. The zipper, hurry up! “Rule number seven: obey curfew.” 

A lone whimper leaves your lips as you feel Law rubbing the tip of his cock against your slit, up and down, touching your oversensitive clit before teasing your entrance but not entering. You’re going to fail if you don’t hurry. 

“Rule number ei–...” You gasp and cry out the loudest moan yet as Law sheathes himself inside of you, immediately bottoming out. The feeling of fullness, the tip hitting your cervix, and the burn of the stretching is so intense that it takes your breath away for a second. 

“Breathe, sweetheart, I’m giving you this one for free.” He rubs soothing circles on your back and doesn’t move until you relax around him. “Now continue, or I’ll start the break time.”

You heave in a few sharp breaths, already too winded to speak, but you have no other choice. 

“Rule number eight: hmm… ah…” Law pulls back, his hands firmly planted against your hips and you brace yourself for what’s next. “You’re forbidden to act as ba–... ahngh! Fuck! Bait!” He slams into you and the desk skids forward with the force. The pleasure of his thrust and the pain of the desk biting into your hips shoots warmth through your core and down your legs and you focus again on the words in front of you.

On the very blurry words in front of you. Tears of pleasure gather at the corner of your eyes as your mouth hangs open and Law keeps thrusting harder and harder.

“Rule number– just like that, more! Nine: Always carry a, fuck, weapon!” Almost there. Both at the end of the list and on the next wave of bliss that’s already cresting and forming as the coil winds tight in your stomach. 

“Rule–... ngh… rule–” You’re about to break and cry out or tap out, anything. You can’t think about anything other than the pure perfection that is your bodies conjoined. The lewd sounds of his cock filling you and the soft grunts he’s releasing behind you. 

“Go on, love, you got this.” He urges, thrusting even harder. 

But you don’t ‘got this’, at all. Your hair is damp against your forehead, and all that escapes your lips are ragged moans and broken pleas. You’re there, you’re right there. A few more thrusts and you’ll be–...

“One…Two…” He stopped. He fucking stopped! A desperate whine leaves your lips as you wiggle your hips against him because you were just there! “Three…” He won’t move until five or until you start to read again.

This has to be torture for him too!

“Four…” Deep breaths, focus. You can do this, it’s as simple as reading a supermarket list. If you were being railed against the dairy section. Damn. New kink unlocked. “Five…”

“Rule number–...” Where the fuck was I? Blank. There’s nothing there. And then there’s Law and another deep thrust clicking your brain into place. “Rule number ten: fuck me harder, Law!”

He can’t help but chuckle as he reaches forward, his back sprawling over you and you feel the way his sweat clings to your back. “That’s not written there, love, carry on.”

“Don’t leave the ship without permission.” You moan out the rule, but you said it. There are five more rules and one big impediment. You don’t have more timeouts, and your orgasm is approaching fast. There’s no way in hell you’ll be able to read while you're in ecstasy. 

Spit them all out, now.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Rule number eleven: stay out of off-limit areas; rule number twelve: stay inside the sub if you’re hurt.” Intelligible. Everything you’re saying comes out in ragged breaths, gasps, and moans, but you’re reading. And Law ups his game.

He slithers a hand around your waist, lifting your body against him, grabbing your leg and hoisting your knee over the desk. His cock slides deeper with each thrust as he breathes heavily into your ear.

God, you won’t make it. 

“Rule number thirteen: ah… Law… I’m… nghh. Absolutely no secrets.” Two more, just two more rules, but you can feel the coil tightening, almost, almost snapping. The way Law holds your body against his, as sweat drenches both of you, his mouth on the curve of your neck, the way he’s digging his teeth in… it’s too much.

“Rule number fourteen: follow my medical advice.” One more. 

Law’s fingers reach down to press your clit, circling it with expert precision, and his next deep thrust makes you lose it. 

Your release hits you like a truck, and you arch your back, nails digging into Law’s forearm as he expertly works his fingers to squeeze every bit of pleasure out of you. Your cry mingles with his low grunt as he spills his seed inside you, riding his pleasure with a few more ragged thrusts. 

The world is reduced to just the two of you and this moment. Nothing else matters but the way he whispers ‘I love you’ in your ear in a breathless whisper. You nod back at him, too addled, hazed, and tired to give him an adequate response, knowing you’ll do so after a brief moment of reprieve.

Law pulls himself out of you and brings you both into the chair, cradling you against his chest as his fingers caress your hair, and he kisses your nose affectionately. “Are you all right?”

Another nod. Too early to speak yet. 

“You almost did it, love. You had one more rule.” He chuckles, and you laugh along with him. 

“This is an impossible challenge, Law. You’re terrible. But I love you.” You lift the crumpled paper to glimpse at the last rule. “Rule number fifteen: follow the chain of command.” You scoff. “Got it, Captain. I’ll obey every damn, stupid, silly rule. You won.”

You’re not even pissed at him anymore. This was fucking hot. 

“Check the addendum.” You lift your head from his chest to meet his amber gaze in curiosity before looking back at the paper, confused. “Turn it.” He says, so you do.

“Addendum: the following of this rulebook can be challenged at any given time, under the same rules.” A smirk forms on your lips at the implications of the addendum, you can have a repeat of this little game anytime you want. You’ll find a way to beat the rules, eventually. Chuckling, you snuggle back into that cosy spot in the curve of Law’s neck, where your head fits perfectly. “Give me half an hour and we’ll try again.”

Tag List: @rosidaze @beachaddict48 @armiliadawn @jintaka-hane @sprinkklz @baby5555 @hopelesslover06 @mars-mizuko @sleepykittycx @nerium-lil @eustasscapitankid @ren-ni @jqperi @lycoriskalmia @walmartmihawk

[chronic-claire-universe]

Tokyo Revengers: Daddy's Girls And Their Nicknames

Hello dust bunnies. I came up with this little headcanons, the dads are back and they're the softest ever. Here for you, dads with the prettiest nickname for their daughter

Characthers: Hajime Kokonoi, Ran Haitani, Shuji Hanma

Warnings: None, Fluff, Daddy's Girl, Pregnancy

Hajime Kokonoi calls his daughter Hiname jewel. There's nothing that values more than his little girl, something that money couldn't ever buy in a lifetime: the love and then the physical embodiment of your love for each other, crafted in a 4 years old blackhaired girl with her father'eyes shape and your e/c and your smile. Sometimes she can be the spoiled and most sassy little girl ever but to Koko, she will always be his valued jewel that he can be proud of and show her off even after saying the most degrading comment about her nanny, "Is this how you came out of your apartment to come here for me? Let me ask daddy if we can do online shopping for you Miss Nami", Koko proudly nod and gives the nanny his black card "That's my jewel, show her how to do shopping", he says before waving goodbye holding your hand, leaving a clueless nanny, confused by your daughter behaviour and her father casually giving her his black card just to do some shopping, money is not as important as his jewel's happiness.

Ren Haitani is yours and Ran's perfect miracle, highly desired by the man, your daughter had her nickname even before being born: water lily. The man secretly wanted from the start of the relationship to be father of a pretty girl that inherited his blond hair and violet eyes and this what happened after years together. The newborn is the sweetest, but just like her father she gets really cranky if she doesn't have her proper sleep when she needs it. It's still weird for you to see how she calms down only when her father's hold her and start pronouncing her nickname instantly calming the baby down "Water lily? My my you need your beauty sleep if you want to grow up as pretty and strong like your mommy and daddy" Ren blinks her eyes and seize her whimpers as soon as she hears the nickname and soon she cooes her tiny fist into her father's chest falling asleep leaving you flabbergasted on how easily it was for Ran to calm her down, he sure knows how to handle your daughter but you're not sure how this is the possible by just pronouncing his nickname for her.

Shuji Hanma plays with fire, everything was unplanned with Emiko, since her conceivement to her gender. Hanma got you pregnant accidentaly but you decided to welcome this as soon as you've seen his best effort into taking responsabilities. At one point Hanma kept bragging on how he felt you were going to have a son since your baby kicked so hard in your belly that it couldn’t be a "frail little girl". Boy was he wrong, his little pumpkin is the sweetest thing ever just like you but sometimes she can show her hidden side just like a pumpkin does with the right ingredient. The toddler is learning to walk and she's the brightest one ever, coeeing and walking everywhere, gripping into her fathers pants from the floor and let them fall, and soon pouting to be held by her tall father and lean to him as she didn't cause shenaningans just one minute before all over the living room.

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@megumischubbycheeks ​ @ebiharachan @strawberrysanzu ​ @10-jiku ​ @kkkramba ​ @nanamis-wifey-reye ​ @my-tasteful-muses ​ @ajaviary ​ @arminaneka ​ @anahryal ​  @savantsoulfinders ​ @tamaki-jiki ​ @mochi-mika ​ @ailowvyu ​ @whosarlet ​ @outthev01d ​ @jotatetsuken ​ @musings-and-moans ​ @thisbich ​ @chloee0x0 ​ @jmmore ​  @stygianoir ​ @littleoanh ​ @ranscutedoll ​  @kiiwiipie ​ @thebrownemo ​​ @suyacho ​ @minnie-cherii @fuyuswifey

[mirandyficlists]

what are the nastiest, most toe-curling mirandy smut fics can you recommend?

Hey Nonnie

Uhh well we do have some hot and steamy fics out there in all shapes and flavours.  So there are several lists that will throw some of these up and I’ll link them below.  But for raunch or super hot sweaty snugglebunnies….

Basic Black by Beachbum https://archiveofourown.org/works/29045490

The sex scenes in It’s All Relative by Hawkbehere https://archiveofourown.org/works/5884348/chapters/13561771  And the later vignette

Taking one for the Team  https://archiveofourown.org/works/5866264

The X Ingredient by Telanu  https://archiveofourown.org/works/779927

The Devil in Ms Sachs (hot and hilarious) http://ralst.com/DevilMsSachs.HTM

Also there is some majorly hot shenaningans in two deleted fics (and I do have them, pm me if you want them)

Womanizer by 2dementedMuses 

Working Title by Pin_drop

I also understand that this author explores some hot and heavy dynamics  https://archiveofourown.org/users/StupidSexyCopShows/pseuds/StupidSexyCopShows/works?fandom_id=54476

And you can read through the following lists as well.

All the breast

Xvnot15

PWP 

(Might be either Plot? What Plot?  Or Porn with plot.  Basically hot sweaty snugglebunnies)

#34 by f_femslash  drabble -fic deleted but I have it.

5 Drabbles about Andy's Favorite Sex Toys by jaws_of_fenrir - afro_dyte?  Deleted but I have it.

12 Minutes by Zos  https://archiveofourown.org/works/17422376

17th Floor Going Down by worstliarever  https://worst-liar-ever.livejournal.com/1722.html

A Clean Break by Fictorium https://archiveofourown.org/works/250612

A Fly on the Wall by Pantone462 https://archiveofourown.org/works/8706967

A Minor Setback by Ubiquitousmixie https://archiveofourown.org/works/1616144

A Novel Idea by Ubiquitousmixie https://archiveofourown.org/works/1616096

A Slip of the Wrist by Scarlettscribble https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4462691/1/A_Slip_of_The_Wrist

Adjustments by thefutilitarian  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5874963/1/Adjustments

All Work and no Play by Elder_queer https://archiveofourown.org/works/584628

Angry by Elfjet  https://archiveofourown.org/works/14391420

Anything by Shyboots  Deleted but I have it.

B is for Bitch and Birken by quencher https://queencher.livejournal.com/945.html

Bedroom Confidential by Grdnofevrything https://grdnofevrythng.livejournal.com/196690.html

Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered by Blue eyed Devil https://blue-eyed-devil.livejournal.com/18444.html#cutid1

Call Me Andy by GrrrIliketigers https://archiveofourown.org/works/746194

Christmas Fic Exchange by air_one 23 https://air-one-23.livejournal.com/

Collision Course by Fictorium https://dvlwears-prada.livejournal.com/1913519.html#cutid1

Come Andrea by Colleen  Deleted but I have the fic.

Common Reaction by Gardnofevrything https://grdnofevrythng.livejournal.com/195241.html

Dare by lady orleans  https://dvlwears-prada.livejournal.com/1796475.html#cutid1

Degrees of Naked by ficburd https://ficburd.livejournal.com/1923.html

Fedora by chillyflame  https://archiveofourown.org/works/5675290

Foodfight  by miconi  Deleted but I have the fic.

Heat  by Fembuck  Deleted but I have the fic.

Hidden Talents by Chillyflame https://archiveofourown.org/works/2673134

Hot Hot Heat by Mira Cohen  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4548739/1/%3Cb%3EHot%3C_b%3E_%3Cb%3EHot%3C_b%3E_%3Cb%3EHeat%3C_b%3E

How Miranda Likes to Game by Skeeter451 https://archiveofourown.org/works/515560

I Said No Foam  by bellavita  Deleted but I have the fic.

Improvisations by Ubiquitousmixie  https://archiveofourown.org/works/1649000

In Front of the Fire by kosmos8 https://kosmos8.livejournal.com/3058.html

Kissable Lips by Grdnofevrything https://grdnofevrythng.livejournal.com/184278.html

  2. I’ll Be Yours by Grdnofevrything  https://grdnofevrythng.livejournal.com/185442.html

Long Hot Summer by pinguissexy https://pinguissexy.livejournal.com/2848.html#cutid1

Lost in Delaware by Sporkmetender  https://archiveofourown.org/works/1915359

Love is in the Air by Pandora007 https://dvlwears-prada.livejournal.com/146697.html#cutid1

Lunchbreak by CrazybeCat https://archiveofourown.org/works/14911949

Lust by MirandaMeryl  https://mirandameryl.livejournal.com/19431.html

Melting the Ice Queen by Blue-eyed Devil  https://dvlwears-prada.livejournal.com/206231.html#cutid1

Merry Christmas by Mercurichita by pinquissexy https://pinguissexy.livejournal.com/3695.html#cutid1

Midnight Desire by Pureecstasy6 https://dvlwears-prada.livejournal.com/1646085.html#cutid1

On a Tear at the Beach by Quiethearted  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6861897/1/On-A-Tear-At-The-Beach

Pillow Talk by Eshusplayground  https://archiveofourown.org/works/16843723

Pining by Outuendo  https://dvlwears-prada.livejournal.com/523809.html#cutid1

Plaything by fanchiction  https://fanchiction.livejournal.com/7256.html#cutid1

Possession by Loganwolfe http://www.ralst.com/PossessionDWP.HTM

Pushing Desire by frenchflotus  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5839911/1/Pushing_Desire

Pushing Her Buttons by Telanu  https://archiveofourown.org/works/750421

Ravenous  by ellenm https://archiveofourown.org/works/319392

Risky Business by Elder_queer  https://archiveofourown.org/works/1373971

Seven and a Half Minutes by The Raven https://archiveofourown.org/works/25689700

Smart Little Mouth  by ubiquitousmixie  https://archiveofourown.org/works/1616072

Stalling the Inevitable by Schwanenkoenigen  https://archiveofourown.org/works/49796446/chapters/125700463

Sweet Like Chocolate by Scarlettscribble  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4553399/1/

Too Hot To Handle  by Polgaria  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12052056/1/Too-Hot-To-Handle

Uninvited by Ubiquitousmixie  https://archiveofourown.org/works/1616192

Untitled by Helebette https://helebette.livejournal.com/3970.html#cutid1

When You Whistle by chillyflame  https://archiveofourown.org/works/5675191

Winning the War by Sporkmetender  https://archiveofourown.org/works/1916313

Yes You Make Me Wet by Wiser_dacshund  https://dvlwears-prada.livejournal.com/1107831.html#cutid1

You Give Me Fever by Sydney Redfield  Deleted but I have it.

[itsnathateasy]

Armin Week | Day 6 | SFW Prompts | Bunny Armin OR Cadet Corps Shenaningans

word count: 863 warnings: none author’s note: there are a few shenanigans in there, i promise!

@armin-week-2024

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

i couldn’t resist writing some headcanons about cadet!armin and you dating!

cadet!armin DEFINITELY stays up late with you. you casually plan these dates during supper, then pretend to go to bed, only to sneak out a couple of hours later hehe

these dates are mostly reserved for snogging

and you literally always get caught by eren and mikasa who share your not-so-secret plan

cadet!armin is the cutest by always waiting for you to be done with your food and walks with you to the kitchen where you leave your empty plates and glasses

cadet!armin also makes sure you’re together for cleaning and kitchen duties, armin is so meticulous, but you keep distracting him, making up choreos with sasha and putting on the funniest of shows and connie always joins in the dancing

but captain levi is never satisfied with your cleaning, and even less with your terrible dance moves someone pls write a hc where levi joins in a broomstick and mop/bucket dance off to sum up, your cleaning duties tend to last quite longer than they should

cadet!armin isn’t the best at hand to hand combat but the fact that you practice together all the time has helped him greatly improve and has also filled his head with nasty thoughts

cadet!armin is very protective over you and gets kinda possessive (in a cute way) when you’re not allowed to pair up for tasks because why should you be allowed to gather apples with jean just the two of you when he’s stuck with mikasa?

and no, secretly saving him a few apples to snack on when you’re sneaking out didn’t really help, but no apples were left and armin was much calmer and confident about you hanging out with the other guys from then on

cadet!armin makes sure you study together, teaching each other the material you find most difficult to understand. you even expand those study dates to invite the rest of the group, which you both regret because no studying was done BUT you both find great joy in spending time with your friends, these study dates somehow make your alone time feel even more special

also, cadet!armin used to tutor eren and connie when they needed help, but he found out they only asked for help so that they could secretly plot their pranks and needed armin’s intel

cadet!armin takes AGES to properly confess to you and ask you out even though you two have been practically an item for who knows how long

“armin, we’ve been dating for months, what are you talking about?”

“i mean uh, we’ve never really- i mean it’s official now! we never properly discussed are relationship status before”

“have you been seeing anyone else besides me?”

armin is now PROFUSELY blushing and stutters at your remark “YOU KNOW THIS ISN’T WHAT I MEANT, I LOVE YOU”

“he has been seeing eren behind your back y/n”, a comment from jean which only earned him a glare from you and a punch from eren

“this was unnecessary” armin says to eren

“punching jean is never unnecessary armin, trust me” he said and rubbed his fist against his palm

cadet!armin is the one to pour you your tea in the mornings while you and the other cadets are still having breakfast, only to mess up and spill it all on you, him and whoever is sitting beside you because you kept talking to him and looking at him with those eyes “and this is how you waste an entire kettle of fine black tea cadets” a snear remark from captain levi

levi didn’t even bother putting armin, sasha and you on cleaning duty again, he knows this battle is long lost

cadet!armin pretends to have such a hard time getting his odm straps on once in a while, so he can come to you for help, only to see you tying all these straps and knots and have you touch him, he’s cunning like that

cadet!armin was often scared because he wasn’t as strong and skilled as his classmates, but he was never afraid to admit his fear or back down, he was particularly afraid the first time you tried your odm gear and he practically smashed himself flat on the wall, the incident was a running joke in your year

connie would always make fun of the incident and he even tried to imitate armin’s face when they took him down, “it’s not even funny anymore connie, just drop it” eren would step up for his friend

“yeah, remember that time captain caught you trying to cook when the fire was out? THAT was funny” said jean and pulled armin closer with one arm, ruffling his hair

“th- thanks jean. was my face really that funny?”

“yes, it was, but it’s been 6 months, connie should entertain himself with a new joke”

the blush on armin’s face was beyond words

“maybe we’d all be funnier if we were foods, right?” sasha asked, looking at you, then at mikasa

“drop it potato girl” reiner exclaimed in a pissed off way

“NOW THIS JOKE IS EVEN OLDER THAN ARMIN’S!” sasha screamed as she started chasing reiner around

[youroriginalsublimecupcakestuff]

The ADA end up in debt to kunikida despair either because they end up in a lawsuit ( for exemple it's because someone older tried to hit on naomi or insulted her but jun'ichiro and yosano we're here the problem is that they're was a journalist nearby or others reason that put the agency in legal trouble ( someone can also sue ranpo in defamation for exemple) or kunikida, the clercs, yosano and kyouka we're away from the agency from a week when they come back ranpo and dazai tried to cook and the dorm is on fire and the agency have to pay the reperation, the agency is also put in charge of repaying dazai debt .

A string of bad Luck after back luck happen again and again and trouble keep following the agency ( turn out that one of dazai ex hired a foreigner known to be able to curse anyone that he want to called lemony snicket to kunikida annoyance who have to be stopped to commit a murder by atsushi as even nullifying the ability didn't erase the debt.)

By the end of this cursed week several agency members are temporary homeless and they have to stay with several peoples that they know still troubles keep following and it was in a last recourse as even poe couldn't help them anymore that kunikida ended up trusting dazai with their housing plan .

Atsushi have a bad feeling about it he fear that dazai will lead them to akutagawa appartment ( so much that he nearly accepted kyouka offer to stay with her to ozaki kouyou)

Which he regretted when dazai took them to a building in a district that the mafia control, they had to escape from dogs, traps amongst others security systems.

Then when they finally could enter kunikida was ready to leave , they had enough legal trouble for a year they're no way that dazai know someone who live in one of the most luxurious building in the city even if he was in the mafia.

Still they enter ( with some of them weighting the pro and con of staying with yosano or the tanizaki siblings) only to be faced with the one and only nakahara who somehow managed to be menacing with fish slipper and a long shirt with a mackerel and a crab drawing.

After solving a misunderstanding ( and silencing dazai who was make it more troublesome) , he agree to let them stay with him while they try to pay back all their debt as he find it fun to see all the way that dazai would have to work to repay the money as he was bored in his forced vacation.

Everyone work hard with their commission ( even chuuya as ranpo , dazai and yosano and naomi all make him join in their shenaningan to his loud protests) , they even accept commission from the mafia ( beggars can't be chosers as they say and the offers from the mafia is too good to refuse but it's carefully veted so that nothing is illegal) , with detective work they also become handyman doing several work ( even dazai's suggestions of a host club to kunikida despair ( he swear that he only proposed that to annoy both him and nakahara).

They discovered some surprising things like what do you say dazai and nakahara are married ? What do you mean the akutagawa siblings are in their family registry ? ( at that revelation and to a smug akutagawa ryuunosuke who appeared out of nowhere nakajima atsushi promptly denied being jealous) . More importantly dazai can work properly when motivated without being lazy ? ( At that kunikida cried when he saw the miracle of all the paperwork that dazai accumulated since joining the ADA being properly filled by dazai and he tearfully welcomed a surprised chuuya to the family), he know the concept of domestic work ? He can cook ??? How ????

After hard work, numerous shenaningan and plenty of bonding as well of mating rituals but soukoku editions, all debt we're paid to kunikida reliefs and chuuya even got a lawyer who accepted to work with them as a favor to him.

Now they just have join ozaki kouyou and Paul Verlaine efforts to convaince dazai and nakahara to have a proper wedding ceremony ( those two are still mad that they got married while Verlaine was attacking the mafia with only oda sakunosuke, shirase bushido ( to dazai protest) , a detective named Adam , the akutagawa siblings,the flags, a detective called murase and a disaproving ango sakaguchi being here (16th is too young to be married dazai).

( dazai had to run for their wrath to save his precious family jewel ( his excuses that it was just a bet didn't work as they got married and divorced so many times but never had a proper wedding ( some guest changed they're was chuuya friends from the dragon head conflict in one of the wedding , some guest stayed the same) , some wedding didn't have guest like the one in Vegas which was just between Elvis Presley and them but one things is sure they never stayed divorced too longs.

Even dazai left the mafia and even if this marriage may or may not be illegal in so many way , it doesn't change that they have each others .

[buckbuckleybegins]

tell it to my heart

buddie (?) . 1.2k words . buck pov

tags: buck&hen friendship, post 8x06, firefam shenaningans

summary: freshly dumped Buck tries to make sense of a relationship he just spent the last 6 months in and Hen tries to help him with it. meanwhile, someone is looking at him in ways they didn’t before.

“Why did you talk to him like he threw the first brick at Stonewall?!” Buck’s cheeks go red as the ridiculousness of his own words hits him. He stammers a few “be-because”s, trying to explain why it had seemed reasonable at the time, before the truth finally dawns on him. “It’s—it’s because of Josh Russo!” he blurts out, feeling the blush spread down his neck and up to his ears. “He said some crap about pre-Glee and post-Glee or—or whatever, and—and—I never even watched Glee!” “What?!” Hen yells, before collapsing into laughter again, tears forming in her eyes. He really hates it here.

[insideliascrazyhead]

Sannoh Rengokai´s instagram shenaningans remix Sleepy Lion is actually a baby snake?!

Sooo I will keep the explenation short.I got a request to do some social media au for my fic.So here it is!Enjoy<3

Ice:Yo slutz!Take a fucking guess what I found?!

Sara:That party was legendary

Jesse:Hey,my husband!I gotta clutch my pearls at that shock....

Ice:Nah,bro.He loves me more.

Jesse:Whatever go fuck yourself as the only one Cobra fucks is me.

Dan:I still nearly vomit at the thought of that nasty ass hangover.

Yamaro:You´re weak.

Cobra:That was hilarious.

Dan:Yeah,you laugh Cobra!At least I learned a lesson that night! Cobra:Entertain me? Naomi:Us all please I need a god laugh...

Dan:That I´m a emotional people pleaser.More exactly a woman pleaser.

Cobra:No Dan.I´m a woman pleaser,you´re a lonely guy that was full of vomit.

Tetsu:You got Jesse though?

Jesse:Open relationship.At least when it comes to the sexual stuff

Yasushi:Hey Tsukasa guess what? Tsukasa:Yasushi I swear take your nasty paws away from my father or I will kill you dead!

Hyuga:So you and Cobra whore around

Rocky:No slut shaming only slut encouraging,but yeah

Jesse:Tsukasa log out.

Jesse:When I would do all the hella kinky shit Cobra´s into I would be dead...

Yasushi;Oh how I love this shit.Tsukasa I swear I´m gonna be your step dad soon.

Fujio:You got Kiyoshi.

Kiyoshi:So,Yasushi and your dad´s could easily use a fortht!

Sara:Heart eyes motherfuckers.

Cobra:Where on earth do you get those?

Sara:I´m a hoarder for media evidence.

Tsukasa:Why do they look like they went to a fucking LMFAO concert?

Yamasto:Drugs.

Cobra:Yamato!

Jesse:Stop it you fucking prick. Yamato:I´m sorry I mean PartySmarties,DiscoMints etc....

Rocky:Where did yall put Tsukasa then? Jesse:Granny´s house for the weekend.He get´s spoiled.We get fucked up on a rave.

Murayama:Cobra-chan and techno? Tetsu:Fuck yeah when he´s wasted enough he can listen to everything.

Naomi:I saw him poledance to Taylor Swift

Yamato:Hah.Weak.I saw him twerk to orchestra!

Rocky:I will pay you whatever you want for that video

Hyuga:Whatever Discoboy is bidding I double it!

Jesse:„Take that fucking thing outta my face or I will choke you till you´re dead!“

Tetsu:Cobra.Not in the mood.

Cobra:Fucking stalker

Jesse:Yeah,you´re fucking your stalker

Yasushi:Then whack your weasle from now on,I will marry Cobra.

Cobra:Not even in my worst nightmare.But the crazy kid is right,you´re whacking your weasle from now on.

Tsukasa:Yasushi,go and touch some fucking grass

Noboru:Cobra doesn´t have a crazy people fetish.

Yamato:No.He´s the crazy one in this relationship.

Chiharu:No.Really???

Yamato:Once when someone tried to rob the gas station Cobra dowsed both of them in gasoline.Took out a cigarette and told that guy he should run,if he doesn´t want Cobra to blow the entire gas station up.

Hyuga:That´s hilarious.

Fujio:Something Yasushi would do.

Shidaken:No way!That´s insanely suicidal.

Yasushi:Nah,I´m not suicidal.The world would be a better place without me and that´s exactly why I have to keep on living.

Fujio:Weirdly motivational

Jesse:Sleeping beauty.

Murayama:Now that´s what I come here for!

Hyuga:That´s borderline pornographic

Jesse:What?I didn´t even upload our sex tape! Yamato…. Ice:Exmotherfuckingscuseme?!

Sara:He´s showing chesticals for locals in heat.

Yasushi:This man so hot I´m pissing steam bitch

Cobra:Im not sleeping im dead leave flowers then go fuck yourself

Jesse:a dead person wouldn´t kick me outta the bed four fucking times with the way u move in ur sleep

Cobra:at least i don´t snore as loud as a chainsaw

Jesse:I don´t.You´re mean!Meanie Mouse!

Tsukasa:My bed vibrates fromn ur snoring old man

Jesse:grounded

Fujiio:You do though.I once thought it´s an earthquake

Jesse:Fujio you´re grounded too.

Fujio:You can do that?He can´t.Right?Cobra-san!

Murayama:Skipped to Itokan to visit Cobra-chan and look who I found!Sleepy-Lion/Baby snake! Leopard fur and cupcakes!That´s such a adorable remix of Cobra-chan and * ewww * Jesse

Fujio:Gotta go and buy a wedding ring!

Jesse:*clutching my pearls and dramatically wiping away a tear* Yasushi:Why he so relaxed tho?!Sannoh Stoner Squad?

Tsukasa:No.I´m just relaxed when you´re not around to force my will to live to jump from Oya´s roof.

Murayama:No Sleepy Lion No Rude Boying down the roof!

Kiyoshi:What´re you gonna do bout it old man? Shibaman:Lean over the railing and scream Tsukasa come back!

Rocky:I get that Cobra wants his genetics out there,looking like he does.But why Jesse?! Hyuga:How you know the kid won´t turn out ugly like Jesse tho?Made with love and not a quick nut?!Jesse probably takes two minutes in bed and I´m being generous here.

Kizzy:Rocky´s right tho.Cobra?Sexy.Jesse?Not so much.Cobra?Beautiful!Jesse low key ugly.

Ice:it´s crazy that Jesse didn´t scare baby Tsukasa to death with his ugly mug

Yamato:Okay can we move on now.I got it.Jesse looks so ugly that he should hide his face till halloween so he gonna scare the kids better.

Jesse:Low blow bro! Sara:The only one that´s blowing´s Cobra.

Noboru:most kids should be swallowed and not concived anyways.Not Tsukasa tho,he´s an angel and we´re thrilled to have him.

Naomi:Cobra´s treat now that he goes to therapy!Text wouldn´t fit on a cupcake. Cobra:Gonna take em anti sad bitch skittles like candy now.

Ice:Swollowing pills like candy will keep your grippy sock vaccation away!

Hyuga:Or cause him to loose the last marble and send him straight to the nut house! Chiharu:We´re gonna miss you Cobra-san.

Tetsu:Don´t forget us in there with your new friends.

Dan:What friends his hand he´s gonna start talking to? Cobra:Relax you drama queens.I ain´t gonna go to the nut house before I killed all three of you too avoid going to jail:)

Yamato:Hey,at least Noboru studied law for like two minutes!He can recommand a lawyer!

Yasushi:You know what they say about crazy guys,they´re the best in bed!

Hyuga:Yeah wait and see Cobra in the padded cell making boats outta popsicle sticks

Rocky:Miss thing....Too much.Hyuga,too much.

Cobra:It´s crazy i don´t snort glue around yall crazy bastards.

Yamato:You´re grumpy today.What´s the matter? Sara:Easy.Didn´t get laid in a while.

Yasushi:I´m available.

Murayama:I´m not gonna say I´m judging.All I say is I understand.

Tsukasa:I am judging tho.Heavily.Fuck you Yasushi.

Cobra:Had a beautiful trip to Oya today!Guess what I found!Murayama!Wanna explain what fun game yall where playing? Dan:of course first time Cobra posts anything it´s to cause drama

Tetsu:Or a gang war!

Murayama:Cobra-chan nooooo

Murayama:also to my defence i never heard of part time stakes...

Todoroki:Cobra never said the name of the game.

Fujio:Woah!What´s that?And why am I not on it? Nakaoka:Better question.Why do yall bid on the Yasu-kiyo jerks? Furuya:Cause they´re crazy enough to fight a crackhead and stab him with his own spoon

Yasushi:When Kiyoshi the bitch that he is got stabbed by a chick

Kiyoshi:Most beautiful day of my life.

Hyuga:That Yasushi kid is my kinda bitch.A bone to pick and not a fucking care in the world.?Oh yeah.Oya!That kids Daruma now.

Tsukasa:That was when all the factions fought er who will take over the full timers Fujio.

Shibaman:Also why does every photo taken look good as fuck.Even Yasushi.And that almost had me gagging.Exept Kiyoshi...

Yasushi:You can stop gagging when you don´t deep throat Todoroki´s dick! Tsuji:Kiyoshi kinda looks like he´s yerking his chicken.

Fujio:Murachi!Long story short the others will kill you...

Todoroki:Guys we´re not that ghetto.We´re not gonna kill anyone. Yasushi:Speak for yourself,sugar tits.The night´s still young and I´m craving violence.

Cobra:Man you gotta be the wet dream of every psychiatrist who enjoys a challenge huh?

Tsukasa:That treassure is hanging in Yamato´s garage.Thought I share this beauty with the world.

Fujio:I love this!Noboru looks ready to tap out as soon as Yamato looses conciousness.

Yamato:I was only attacked by this feral squirrel you call a father when I was seated.Other wise that garden gnome would´ve needed a ladder to even have eye contact with me.

Cobra:Seated because you we´re eating.If you continue Naomi´s gotta feed you with a pitchfork.

Yamato:At least I eat like a normal human being!Not only cupcakes and tequila.

Jesse:I saw him once eat fruitloops,with marshmallows,candy and beer cause we we´re outta milk

Noboru:That´s nasty man

Kiyoshi:Hey!Yasushi does that with energy drinks! Yasushi:I also use energy drinks instead of water for coffee.Your point. Todoroki:That explains everything

Rocky:I love how Cobra and Jesse are in a relationship for years and have a kid together when this photo exists and is a year old

Jesse:Foreplay.

Cobra:Jesse!

Jesse:Oh yeah,my mistake.Foreplay would be a lot rougher.

Cobra:At least I didn´t loose my shoe mid fight like fucking cinderella.

Jesse:All I hear is that I´m a princess and I agree.

Ice:*wiping tears*remember in your early relationship?When you destroyed Jesses bed,couch and kitched table to the point of no repair?Good times.

Sara:They had a good time.I fucking wish I would be deaf.

Yamato:At least you´re not living two houses down.I heard that once.

Dan:Why does Cobra get so much action anyways and then there´s me.

Tetsu:Overworked and underfucked.Got it.

Naomi:Oh calm down you big baby.

Tetsu:Partying hard just like his fathers! Jesse:*le gasp* Zebra!Traitor.

Cobra:You dramatic little bitch.Stop crying.

Ice:Grown up so quickly.

Rocky:Oh yeah where where you when your son got wasted`? Cobra:Nowhere with no one doing nothing with nobody.

Noboru:It wasn´t even in Club Heaven...

Yamato:That´s it!Innocent!Lawyers decision! Naomi:He´s not a lawyer dumbass. Chiharu:Half a lawyer then!Congratulations he´s half innocent! Tsukasa:Relax,fun police.I was only slightly tipsy. Fujio:You tried to go to Jamuo in the middle of the night with a highlighter,cause he´s important.

Jamuo:At least you´re not Yasushi.I sleep with a knife under my pillow and a emergency sedative in a syringe near by bed strong enough to knock out a horse! Yasushi:Wow.Lovely.Fuck you you little woodland creature.

[margoteve]

The Normandy Album 2

Parentage

Pairing: Shakarian

Rating: eh PG?

Summary: Joker tries to prank Garrus with tactical use of Grunt.

Enjoy! The chapter is also on AO3. Inspired by an art of @thatwildwolfart

"Hey, Grunt!"

"Yeah?" Grunt looked up from his meal and squinted at the approaching human. The pilot. Joker. It wasn't often the brittle human would leave his station in the cockpit. "What is it?" The young krogan noted the lack of EDI, the AI in her robotic body often served as asistance to the man.

Joker carefully sat down by the mess table. "You know how Shepard is kind of like your dad?"

Grunt frowned. "Shepard is my Battlemaster, not my father."

"Yeaah but like she takes you out like shooting and gifted you that new shotgun and didn't she bail you from C-Sec, again, last time we were on Citadel? That's kinda like prime dad behaviour," Joker argued his case.

"Where are you getting with this human?" Grunt tilted his head, smelling some sort of trick.

"Nowhere, really, just food for thought," Joker said. "It just makes you think how she you, and Garrus make for a very disfunctional family. So I was you know, trying to organize the dynamics."

"Heh," Grunt grinned. "Don't worry, you too are in my krant. Despite your squishiness."

"Right, thanks Grunt. Anywhoo!" Joker slowly stood up. "I should go, the Normandy won't fly itself."

"It is flying itself, though," Grunt noted but Joker waved his hand and limped away to the elevator.

Grunt returned to his meal but his mind was slowly churring the conversation. Then he paused, looked in the direction of Joker. "Heheheh."

"Team Reunion Friday" was the best idea that Kasumi and Tali came up with. The old squadmate crew of Shepard all together for a night of drinks and shenaningans in Shepard's apartment post-war. Everyone was in high spirits. Shepard was sitting at the top of the table, in her wheelchair raising a toast. "To Normandy!"

"Here, here!" Everyone responded.

Just as they were downing the drink Grunt turned to Commander. "Shepard."

"Grunt?"

"You have been the closest a tank bred could have to a father," he said with a grin.

"Aww, thank you Grunt."

"Does this make Vakarian my mother?"

The bomb was dropped, most guests started to choke on their drinks, some stared, Joker grinned like it was Christmas.

"Well..." Shepard looked at Garrus.

"Now, hold on Shepard-" the turian started.

Among the sputtering a loud laughter boomed among the crew, much to the embarrassement of one Garrus Vakarian. Grunt grinned. Later when the jokes and jabs at Shepard's boyfriend ceased Grunt stopped by Joker.

"You owe me a bottle of ryncol."

"I'll make it two, buddy," Joker replied grinning at the recording. It would strike him gold on the extranet.

"Good, hehehe."

[medra-gonbites]

BG3 Masterlist

Hereby find a list of my writing (revolving exclusively around Baldur's Gate 3 because I have brainrot).

If you feel like it I'd be more than happy to receive prompt to work with (however I am quite slow just so you know ^^)!

Disclaimer: Most NSFW pieces are not posted on this platform in their entirety and will relay a link to the full version on AO3. This allows the reader to consult the full list of tags and CW before interacting with any potential triggering scenario. NSFW does not necessarily means smut: it can also indicate violence or possible triggering themes.

Head Canon Blobs

Companions Filmmaker Edition - What roles would the BG3 characters be taking on a film set?

Companions Party Edition - Who brings what to Tav birthday party?

Companions Music Edition - Which instruments do the Tadfools Band (and others) play and why?

Companions Pokemon Edition - Which Pokemon would the companions choose

Companions Disney Animation Edition - Which Disney Animation are their favourite?

One Shot Fictions

The Contemplations and Conclusions of Minsc of Rashemen - SFW - A stream of consciousness following Minsc's (and Boo's) reading of their new (and old) comrades.

A Night to Remember - SFW - The drunken shenaningans of two tadfools out in Baldur's Gate. (Astarion/Shadowheart (platonic))

And Thus The Moon Shall Glow - SFW - Shadowheart pines for Tav after the rescue of Dame Aylin and her repudiation of Shar. (Shadowheart/Unnamed Fem!Tav)

A Modicum of Decorum - SFW - An old friend attempts to visit Gale. Unfortunately Tav is at the door. (Gale/Tav)

Wounds of Love - SFW - Lae'zel is obsessed with the wizard and needs to do something about it. (Astralweave: Gale/Lae'zel)

Beyond the Bridge - SFW - Lae'zel hates the wizard's nose!... Until she doesn't anymore. (Astralweave: Gale/Lae'zel)

Ashes to Ashes - SFW - During the first year in Szarr Palace, Astarion has grown very close to one of the other spawn. (Astarion/NamedMale!OC)

Feathers, Fur and Fate - SFW - Gale and Tara reunites and catch up in Rivington (Gale & Tara)

The Treasure among the Scale - NSFW - Wyll encounters a distressed mermaid on the beach and decides to help her out. (Wyll/Unnamed Fem!OC)

A Cone of Cold you Made of Me - NSFW - Gale visits an old flame. She is not happy to see him. (Gale/Unnamed Fem!OC)

On My Lord's Lap - NSFW - Lord Astarion and his consort Gale receive an adventuring party reporting on their missi. (Bloodweave: Ascended Astarion/Consort Gale)

A Wild Magic You Cast - NSFW - She infuriates him; her talent for magic matches only the chaos she triggers. (Gale/Fem!Wild Sorcerer Durge)

Blooodweave week 2024 - SFW & NSFW This series consists of 6 one shot chapters and 1 multi-chapters fic centered around the Bloodweave ship (Astarion/Gale)

Multi-Chapters Fictions

The Wizard Who Read Everything - 3 chapters - Pairing: Gale/Named Fem!OC - SFW

The wizard had struggled to find an apprentice for quite some time. When he finally does, he find himself quite intrigued by his new hire. It is not appropriate but he can't help think about her. The racy literature that she writes as a hobby does not help. Neither does the fact that he reads in secret…

What is left of what once was - 5 chapters - Pairing: Gale/Fem!Tav - Ascended Astarion/Fem!Tav - NSFW

Astarion has ascended. He has all he has ever wanted. Except you, since you chose Gale over him. Now that he is a Vampire Lord he will not let you go so easily.

Roll Initiative - 4 chapters -Pairing: Gale/Astarion - Alternative Universe - NSFW

This is not Astarion's idea of fun but he begrudgingly agreed to join Wyll's current D&D tabletop campaign: the prospect of rolling dice and hallucinate a quest for 2 hours does not appeal to him at all. At least the game master is cute...

My Tavs & Durges

Most of them are silly geese. I like puns and inventing wacky backstories for them.

Tavs

Medra Gonbites - Drow Paladin

Denisious Delicious - Rock Gnome Bard (& co-op Tav Denise Delice - Wood Half-Elf Druid)

Mari Zoto - Human Monk

Durges

Dana R'Whaal - High Elf Sorcerer

Robert (Bob) Slay - Half-Orc Warlock

Zorthos Akognto Yerwitcher - Tiefling Cleric

I hope you enjoy my work! Comments and feedbacks are always appreciated of course !

[redfountainpostin]

I like how you write darven I think their relationship is sooo interesting with Darcy being extremely toxic towards riven. I feel like if riven had never gotten with Darcy, and just went straight to musa, their relationship would’ve been much more healthier, but since Darcy was rivens first serious relationship (imo) I think it probably rlly warped rivens mind of what relationships are supposed to be like. And also just how he views himself. (Also I noted that you are also a fellow tears-in-rain enjoyer 😋)

That I am, lol. Hers is actually the first rewrite I ever read! The fact that it's from the guys POV is just sugar on the cream. I do think Darcy having been Riven's first girlfriend (listen, from the character alone I could come up with a myriad of exes for him, but the fact remains that he IS only 17, so the same way I don't accept Bloom having had a serious relationship on Earth before Sky, I don't quite see Riven having exes either) really fucked up his way of looking at relationships and his and Musa's suffered for it, but I also think he's riddled with enough personal drama that they'd manage to make it nice and messy even without Darcy's help. However, the WAY his relationship with Musa is affected with Darcy greatly differs depending on the way it worked. In my usual verse, I actually think it heightens the miscommunication to the 100s because while Musa expects Riven to read her mind basically, Riven LITERALLY IS USED TO HIS GF DOING EXACTLY THAT. Not only that, he's used to just *knowing* what she wants bc she sends him actual palpable telepathic signals. I think several times there was a situation where he extends his palm towards her and she's like "???" and he's like "????" and she's like "?????" and only then does he realize he didn't ask her to hand him the water, he just thought it in his head. Also, some funny shenaningans like the mind conversations in How I Met Your Mother, when they're sending each other signals and are like "hell yea he/she gets it" but they actually had completely different conversations lol. However, if Darcy was outright abusive, then Riven is way worse, way more secretive, and has preemptive bouts of anger because he's pushing back automatically because he thinks he's gonna get pushed. And if Musa is angry about something, he manages to escalate the situation to the nines because instead of just recognizing that his girlfriend is angry and yeah that happens, he thinks he's like, this close to physical violence. Moderation is not something he's familiar with lol. Also, I think he has slight manic episodes where he pretty much disassociates from all issues they may have- and Musa feels like she has to go alongside with it because hey their relationship is turbulent, she'd be crazy if she didn't go along with it when he's actually agreeable, but actually he's the only one actually riding the high and she's clinging along, burying some of the issues that are bothering her until she explodes. BUT I still think they can and will work as a couple and she's the reason why I gave Riven love for music (Darcy's ballet thing came after just to bother Musa, it's there FOR Musa) and the love for music scene. He's not a performer nor does he want to be, but he gets it. And it's the stuff that they just naturally get about each other that keeps the bridge standing while they're working through all the shit they do not get. Because lets be real, these 2 dumdums don't get themselves. How can they fully get each other? And speaking of Riven getting it, I actually bet he was on Melody several times for concerts prior to season 1. As a dragonrider, I actually think he can get tickets for free, backstage access, you name it. (which is ironic bc with his Androsi stipend he absolutely can afford the tickets, but it's always like that isn't it. The rich get it for free lol. Assholes.)

[ladyzirkonia]

Summary: How the Ex-Imperial ended up here? He didn't know but at least he's questioning his life choices (finally)

Warnings: Nothing just some silliness and Rampart kind of still being Rampart

Word Count: around 800

author's note: Hello my friends it's about time for some Rampart shenaningans. (filling the gap of Rampart fics for me on this site) Completely self-indulgent. Inspired by the travel-biscuits conversation of the Ex-Imperials in Mando (what I absolutely love) and this post about Imperial code cylinders. Thank you @smw-on-kamino for proof-reading. 🖤

Rampart walked around the base with his arms behind his back, a habit he had not given up to this day. Most people here seemed to be avoiding him, but he didn't seem to care. He took in everything around him until he spotted a figure in the distance that made him want to turn around. That incredibly annoying loud voice that gave him a headache even from a distance, and that incredibly ugly orange jumpsuit tied lazily around her waist - ugh, how could he not have seen that from miles away? But before he had the chance to turn around, she had already spotted him and was waving at him like a lunatic - stars, this woman had been a pain in the ass since the day they first met.

But suddenly he recognised what she was playing with: the small, thin object that she was playfully tossing in the air and catching, which he knows all too well. He looked at her in disbelief for a moment, before quickly walking towards her and trying to catch it while it was in the air. But she was quicker and snatched it from him in mid-air with a big grin on her face.

"What the hell are you doing? Do you even know what this is?" he spits at her almost furiously. His annoyed expression made her grin even wider.

"I don't know... it looks like a pen?" she replied sarcastically.

Rampart couldn’t believe what he was hearing and scoffed in his arrogant way. "I shouldn't be surprised at this level of incompetence. I am surrounded by a bunch of dim-witted Gamorreans. It's a miracle the Empire hasn't wiped you out by now."

She laughed unimpressed and continued to play with the small object in her hand as she looked at him. "Don't be a mean girl, Rampart! Share your unparalleled competence and knowledge with me."

Rampart grumbled, but at the same time he couldn't help explaining in an arrogant and self confident tone. "This is an Imperial code cylinder. All officers of the Imperial Navy are equipped with at least one of them. They serve to prove their rank and identity at certain checkpoints."

He looked at her, self-satisfied - ah, lecturing people, how he had missed that.

She looked at the small object in her hand.

"Oh wow, so it's actually valuable?"

"I beg your pardon?! Valuable?" He seemed barely able to comprehend the extent of her naivety and incompetence.

"This is a complete waste in your hands, give it to me!" he replied in his usual commanding tone.

"Oh, absolutely not. Have you forgotten that I outrank you?" she replied teasingly.

He laughed in disbelief and gave her that typical arrogant Rampart smile.

"You? Since when?" he asked in a tone that sounded like the most absurd thing he had ever heard. He knew she was just trying to get under his skin as usual, she had been like that since they first met and it was driving him crazy. So he tried to look completely unfazed by her words.

"Oh, since today. You can call me Captain now, Wizard, huh?" she said with that damn grin on her face.

Rampart just shook his head slightly, doubting his decisions once again, how could he end up in the middle of all these madmen?

"That's not going to happen," he said mockingly.

But she just grinned again and started to take something out of her pocket. It was a small packet of red Imperial travel biscuits, and she held it out in front of his nose. Rampart immediately recognised what she was holding and stared at her in disbelief.

What... where in the seven hells of Corellia did you get this?'' he asked her in disbelief, but couldn't help but be impressed.

''You know, I have my ways. I thought you might like it,'' she replied, this time with a genuine smile.

Rampart just laughed somewhat snarky and crossed his arms. You don't really think you can bribe me with a few biscuits, do you? Ridiculous.''

She just shrugged unimpressed as she slowly removed her hand from his face. ''Then I'll just keep them, I've always wondered what they taste like anyway.''

He grumbled, and before she could pull her hand back, he grabbed the small package.

"The yellow ones are better," he muttered, annoyed as he put the small package in his pocket.

She laughed in response and then, without warning, hooked her arm through his before he could get out of the way. He froze for a moment; this shameless woman irritated him immensely. He tried to cover his irritation and shock at her closeness with another snarky comment.

"You are kriffing annoying and a pain in my ass, Captain," he said sarcastically, trying to get rid of her. It was a sight to behold as the former Imperial tried to shake off the relatively small but stubborn person.

"As intended. Be nice and I'll get you the yellow ones next time," she teased, finally pulling him along with her.

[idontmindifuforgetme]

what i can say for your astro is make sure you have *healthy* levels of trying to live up to something for yourself so that you're not tempted to live in extremes. going too boss bitch trying to take on the world will have you drawn towards some level of chaos and destruction in order to get your 'fix' away from the expectations of yourself. all the pride isn't worth it! micro-dose on shenaningans and doing things that are out of your comfort zone. may you find a romantic partner that changes your life for the better one day <3

this is a dope asf analysis thank you so much 🫂💓

[frikatilhi]

Ok so the Eurovision final night is one of your Bojere roman empires right? Cause it definitely is mine and I think we as a society should not stop talking about it, even if it happened exactly 8 months ago (wtf how)... Can you like pinpoint the best moments that made you go AAAA or just tell some thoughts idk? I wish I could come up with a decent question to make it easier for you but my brain goes brrrr and I just want to talk about them 🥲

Aaaahhhhh omg well there are two different answers to this.

Um, apparently this got long so. In this essay I will

Eurovision final night, you say? Look, this post and its notes cover a lot of what makes me want to flip tables and gnaw my own arm off about that night. That hug? And how Bojan dropped everything and comforted him and made him laugh? How Jere cried in the bathroom and one reason why was that he didn't know when he'd see Bojan again? How Bojan lost his phone and missed his flight? (Matti in a recent interview said that the afterparty at the hotel was epic, and please, I need to know more why didn't they ask him to elaborate asdfasfgg) Soooo, yeah, all of that. The emotions ran so high that night that I feel like we got to see behind the public image they wanted to convey, behind the stories and clout. There was nothing to promote anymore, the only thing that was left after the results came was what they were to each other. Everything we know about them that night has come from other people, and it's not even that much.

Which brings me to the other part, which is your wording "Can you like pinpoint the best moments that made you go AAAA" (and here is where I'm sidetracking from your initial ask about esc final night)

I have a confession to make. I wasn't on board the bojere boat at that point, not yet. I was following Jere on insta, so I saw the stuff he was posting, and there was a big deal being made of their bromance in Finnish media, but at that time? I thought it was cute, but I also thought I was immune, brainrot/shipping-wise. I really thought the bromance stuff would not affect me, no, I had been burnt too many times by the straight dudes who hugged each other to make fans happy and earn those screams and clicks. I wanted the real thing, you know?

So I thought it was cute. Until a little after ESC when it didn't seem to die down and then suddenly I was watching clips and stories and catching up on stuff I had missed during the preparties and Liverpool and then I was reading fic and reading what people said about them and.. it was downhill from there.

The exact moment it all really clicked for me was when Bojan turned up in Finland. Those motherfuckers were actually keeping their promise to see each other again? And that soon? The utter joy together on stage? Bojan's face in the piggy train? All their shenaningans that weekend? Bojan's naruto run at the airport?

Um yeah, that's when I knew it was over for me. Goddammit.