#unusual materials: coffee

[killyridols]

expansion retraction by aaron glasson, 2022, oil, coffee and colored pencil on canvas, 16 × 20 inches

[deartouya]

stem truly does mean trapped forever </3

[delirious-donna]

His Shirt [Nanami Kento]

an: this was a previous drabble I had for our beloved Kento but it needed a good tidy up and polish. For all those that love to wear their lover’s shirts…

pairing: Nanami Kento x female reader

warnings: smutty smut, desk antics, pussy drunk Kento, fun manhandling (teehee)

Masterlist

The hour was late. The sky was midnight black, a dark canvas painted only by the stars peppered across the skyline. It wasn’t unusual for Kento to work late into the evening, but you couldn’t recall the last time it had been quite this late. How were you expected to fall asleep without his arm draped over your waist, his breath warming your neck, and his legs bent and flush behind yours?

After another fifteen minutes, you gave up your attempts of sleeping alone, and decided that if he wasn’t ready to come to bed on his own terms, you’d had to provide an incentive. Pulling a worn shirt from the laundry basket in the corner of the bedroom, your nose pressed into the starchy collar to inhale the remnants of his cologne, the faint aroma of coffee and his unique underlying scent—warmingly spicy and comforting. This would do nicely…

You tiptoed to the door of his office, giving a light knock. Not waiting for an invitation, you slipped inside and searched for the man hidden away in here—your man.

Kento sat behind his polished oak desk, a stack of papers to the side of his glowing laptop and a half-empty mug of coffee, that you would bet was stone cold, just out of reach. You admired the continued neat state of his parted hair, not a single strand out of place even after a long day. His shirt sleeves were folded back to his elbows and the tie was gone, but he still looked the picture of professionalism.

“Everything alright, sweetheart?” He drawled tiredly, not looking up from his work as you padded ever closer.

“No,” you whimpered theatrically, barely stopping yourself from adding a hand against your forehead.

His head snapped up immediately, rich hazel eyes widening as he took in the sight of you at last. A broad palm pressed the screen he’d been glaring at closed with a quiet snap, and you smirked behind your hand.

“Missed you… couldn’t sleep. Not without you, Ken.”

At last, an errant strand of blond hair fell into his eyes. Eyes that focused fixedly on how your fingers traced the bevelled edge of his desk. His throat felt suddenly dry, aroused immediately at you wrapped in one of his worn shirts. Kento noted that the buttons were only half done up, the crisp fabric bagging on your torso in places and exposing just enough of your skin to have him reaching for you.

Satisfied by his reaction, you happily stepped into his embrace, and let Kento settle you on the desk in front of him. Two large palms slid against your naked thighs, rough callouses pressing into your soft, smooth skin.

“Sweetheart, I had work to do,” he groaned out, leaning into your touch when your fingers carded into his lush hair.

“But…” he started, pulling your thighs wider apart and resting your feet on either side of his chair. “I could use a break and you happen to look especially inviting in my shirt.”

In this new position, your bare pussy was exposed to his hungry gaze. He untangled your fingers from his hair and guided both hands behind you to brace against the surface of his desk, pushing aside his stacks of work with his elbow in the process.

Kento fisted the tails of his shirt and dragged the material through your slippery folds. The friction was delicious, enough that you were already panting and flushed in the face. It was always arousing to watch him at work, especially when that work was making you shudder from his touch.

He noted the twist of your hips from the pressure of the material against your throbbing clit, irises glowing in the dim light of his office like a hearth stoked lovingly by a tender hand. Kento licked his lips in anticipation and lowered his face until he was gazing at you through hooded lids, making a show of inhaling your scent.

His tongue was hot and deliciously wet, the wide muscle danced boldly over your folds, pushing deeper to circle your entrance and teasing you over and over with the strong tip dipping past your ring of muscles. You keened for him, leaning onto one hand so the other could brush back his hair, determined not to rut against his face and failing miserably.

Your husband smiled into your dewy skin, delighting in the taste of you, the scent permeating his nose and fogging his mind until his only thought was of you and the pleasure he could elicit. His lips wrapped around your swollen clit, suckling it gently until you whimpered and whined, begging for mercy. He only conceded by releasing your pearl and using his teeth with reverential care to tug your puffy, blood-filled lips, letting go with an audible pop.

“Kento… oh shit—more!”

It was bliss when his nose nudged your clitoral hood, the bridge rubbing friction into your pubic mound until you were certain you wouldn’t be able to stand from the desk without help. Still, he took his time ravishing your sweet cunt between groaned words of praise. Every reverberation from his mouth resonated deep in the pit of your belly, tightening the coils of desire until you couldn’t draw breath.

With a sloppy slurp, Kento glanced up at your face twisted into pure pleasure. “You look like a feast in my shirt, sweetheart, taste delicious too.”

You couldn’t form a response, the words broken into pieces inside your brain and not even the syllables would come to you, only raw guttural noises. Your husband feasted on you atop his desk like never before, indenting your squishy thighs with the beginnings of marks from his fingertips.

The dam burst quite suddenly, catapulting you into an orgasm that saw you jolt upright, holding Kento by the back of his head to keep him buried in you. He groaned into the heart of you, eyes rolling over as the sweetest nectar he’d ever indulged in adorned his tongue in sticky trickles.

Once you started to return to your senses, you let him up only to whimper at the mess of his face. His chin and cheeks were slick with saliva and arousal, lips petal pink and swollen from his ministrations and he looked ready to blow a fuse.

“B-bed. Take me to bed, your work can wait until the morning…” you beseeched, fingering his jawline and desperately grateful when he bridged the gap to kiss you.

Without argument or debate, he stood from his chair and lifted you over his broad shoulder, an arm hooked around your thighs to secure you in place. You giggled at your upside-down view of his backside, still sensitive to his touch from the aftereffects of your orgasm, but at least you had managed to get him to bed.

You’d have to remember this tactic…

[helpesslywriting]

I can't get over the one sided love of a deity trapped in stone with a newcomer to their land.

Fields of Misteria has a dragon statue that seemes to be romanceable later on named Caldarus. They are immortal and trapped in stone because they have grown weak and their memory fuzzy.

You nurse then back into power by collecting nature essence by doing things around your farm. Cutting grass, tending crops. Cutting trees, clearing rocks etc.

I can't get over this idea of one sided longing or enamorment now. A mostly silent being who watches from afar as you wake up everyday just before the sun comes over the mountains in the distance and begin your work.

Diligently clearing land, planting and lovingly caring for your crops. The strength you built as an adventurer coming in handy with cutting down large trees and smashing large rocks with ease. The gentle way you handle your farm animals and the bonds you build with the community.

The beam of pride you have when you complete a days worth of work. Tired, sweaty, dirty---but happy and content.

They watch you get frustrated when you get tired and you're so close to being done, when your backpack gets too full too soon, watching you take breaks to restore your stamina and how you treat animals, even bugs, with kindness by shooing them away before clearing the next plot of land.

They see the gentle smile of your face as you water and weed your plants and hear you regale the silent stone with stories of your adventuring days. They see you run past into the village with gifts to give and materials to offer, help to aid those that need it.

They feel sad when you sleep in, noting how unusual it is for you to sleep in late and plead for you to take care of yourself and not push so hard. The mines are dangerous and their power is limited.

The find themselves worrying for you. Did you remember to make food? Are you eating a proper diet? Are you remembering to rest? You can be so stubborn sometimes.

They despise being so weak, they wish to speak to you more, to see your eyes light up with new information and to keep you company. To aid you in your self appointed quest of a manageable farm and happy life.

They find themselves excited for dawn, when you come out and stand in front of their statue--coffee in hand while you plan your day, knowing they can't respond but still treating them kindly, gently.

You make sure to scrub them clean when the rain comes to avoid mildew and moss growing on them. It can't be comfortable and somehow you think of it like a virus for them. They're your friend and you want them to be taken care of, since, as a statue it's not like they can clean themselves.

They think you are devoted to kindness to those around you.

And they wish to reward such devotion.

By returning it in kind.

[sundays-sims]

M Y R I A D . (early access, patreon)

Hi all!

First of all, I am super sorry for the extreme delay in posting this month' set. I have had an insane month, it felt like everything that could have happened to slow me down, did, in fact, happen. I hope it's ok with everyone & thank you so much for understanding. ♥

The next month's publication will also be delayed due to the fact that I have been working on this myriad set until late last night and I haven't made any progress for next month's content. Again, thank you for your patience on this. You can expect the publication at the end of August instead of beginning of the month. Rest assured that I haven't cancelled any content, or anything like that, it will only be posted later during the month.

Now, about this month' set! It is a bit unusual as I normally go for pieces that are all part of the same "room type" but I decided to go for a bunch of mini sets ideas. I have been thinking about doing something like this for a while; more random objects that still go together. I kept my organic modern design aesthetic, so expect neutral tones & natural materials, but I also added some bright blues, greens & yellows for the mini lemonade set. The myriad set contains 15 new meshes in total, from seating to surfaces, along with a bunch of cute clutter.

↓ details & download link under the cut ↓

D O W N L O A D  L I N K : [X] (patreon, early access)

S E T   D E T A I L S :

brass & marble side table – 10 swatches

caffettiera – 3 swatches

candle – 4 swatches

ceramic plate – 12 swatches

coffee cup & spoon – 7 swatches

coffee table – 3 swatches

croissant & plate – 7 swatches

dining chair – 5 swatches

dining table – 10 swatches

lemon water glass – 1 swatch

lemon water pitcher – 1 swatch

lemonade pitcher – 15 swatches

lemons – 1 swatch

marble console – 9 swatches

rattan chair – 4 swatches

** myriad will be released (free) on August 21st**

→ terms of use / TOU ← / / → instagram ←

[lunitawrites]

Heavy Rain - a Joel Miller one shot

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

rating: explicit

summary: It´s been raining for weeks when Joel finds you curled up on his couch.

warnings: reader struggles with mental health (please note that this is not based on any scientific diagnosis of a mental illness, it is coming from my experience struggling with my own mental health), crying, smut (PiV), heavy emotions

a/n: This is for @undercoverpena´s April Showers Challenge. You can find the rest of the works under the #UndercoverAprilShowersChallenge tag.

word count: 850

The rain feels heavy on Joel's shoulders as he arrives home that evening. It's not unusual for the Texan spring to be this wet, but this time the rain stretches over weeks, painting the blue spring skies grey, soaking the dusty terrain until it turns into mud under his shoes.

His house is cold, almost feels damp as the walls soak up the never-ending rain. You are lying on his couch, only lit by the fluorescent light of the muted TV, displaying commercials, long forgotten by its audience.

He can hear your quiet sobs from across the room. He knows you noticed him, but you don´t turn, just pull your blanket tighter around your chin. He walks then, slow steps towards you, seemingly afraid that he might startle you if he moves faster.

You are silent now as the back of his knuckles brush on your cheeks. I know, he whispers into the darkness, not even sure if you can hear him.

He goes into the kitchen then, quietly closing the door behind him, when he is sure it won't bother you, he flicks on the lights. Half eaten cereal and a bottle of wine, only missing a glass from the burgundy liquid. Your journal lies open on the dinner table, its pages blank. He closes that first and then slowly and meticulously puts everything in order. He heats up soup from the freezer, puts on a kettle of water to boil.

When the kitchen is in order, he puts the soup and mint tea on a tray and returns to the living room. He places it on the coffee table in front of you. You open your eyes and give him the faintest of your smiles. A smile almost just to mask your lips trying to curl down, your eyes ready to cry. You sit up, the material of the blanket bunching around your waist, revealing the stained t-shirt you are wearing. You seem embarrassed for a moment when you notice and pull the blanket up to your chin again.

He offers you the soup then. He would feed you, but he is sure you would never let him do that. You take the bowl in your hands, lacing your fingers around it, enjoying the warmth radiating from the ceramic.

He leans back besides you, taking your calves and placing them over his lap, his hands drawing slow, mindless circles on your bare skin. Both of you stare at the muted TV in silence, none of you bothered enough to look for the remote to change the volume.

You put the bowl down as you finish and curl up again on the couch, removing your calves from Joel's lap. He can see tears in the corners of your eyes again, threatening to overflow and paint wet stripes on your cheeks. You swipe them away with the heel of your palms and squeeze your eyes shut. You hold your breath to keep yourself from crying.

Joel curls behind you, his whole body hugging yours. Breath, his mouth is on your ear, leaving a small kiss on the shell of your ear. So you do, let the air flow into your lungs. You keep it in for a few seconds and let it out slowly, feeling your tears escape your body the same time the air does.

You take his hand and press it against your chest, squeezing yourself impossibly close to him. The rain is still drip-drip-dripping on the windows, a monotonous sound that you cannot escape. I want it to end, you breathe and you both know you are not referring to the rain.

He buries his face in your hair, breathing you in. You can feel his length hardening against the curve of your ass. He mumbles an apology and adjusts his position so that your bodies are no longer touching.

No, please, you push yourself back again, make love to me. The urge to have him inside you takes over your body. You push your underwear down, kick it off with your legs, and then reach behind to remove his jeans too. You hear his quiet hey, baby, stop; but your only answer is the squeaky pleas that are falling from your lips, landing straight at the bottom of his spine.

He takes his cock out, fully hard now, propping it to your entrance and entering you with one swift motion. You moan in unison at the feeling, his hands holding you close, splayed out on your stomach.

He fucks you then, no rush in his movements, peppering small kisses to the back of your neck, your shoulders. He mewls quietly in your ear every time he fills you up. He does not stop until your body tenses around him, pleasure ripping through your tired body. When he comes, it is with a soft groan buried in your neck.

At least now I have something in me that I love, you whisper. The rain has stopped now, the only dripping sounds are his tears landing on the bare skin of your chest.

--

Thank you so much for reading!

[silent-stories]

𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐀 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 - 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x reader

Summary: When Noah was left alone to take care of his daughter about two years ago, he never thought he would find someone else he would trust enough to include in his little family. But things can change.

Series masterlist

The soft early-morning glow filtered through the curtains, casting a warm hue on the cozy bedroom. Noah stood at the doorway and saw his daughter snuggled up with her pastel pink blanket. He watched the rhythmic rise and fall of her small chest and he couldn't help but smile at the view.

He quietly crossed over to her bedside, fell onto his knees beside her, and gently moved a few strands of hair from her face. "Luna, sweetheart," he said softly in a soothing voice. "It's time to wake up."

Luna stirred, her eyelids fluttering open slowly. For a moment, she blinked at him, a sleepy smile stretching across her lips. "mhh" she murmured, her voice thick with sleep.

"Hey," he said, smiling back at her. "Time to rise and shine."

"Want to sleep more!" she whined, pulling the blanket tighter around her, her tiny frame almost disappearing under the soft material.

Noah chuckled softly. "But your friends are waiting for you. How about this? If you wake up now, I give you a really, really big hug."

She peeked out from under her blanket, a twinkle of mischief lighting up her sleepy eyes. "A big hug?"

"Absolutely," he promised, opening his arms wide.

Giving a slight sigh, Luna finally threw the blanket off and sat up, her hair messy and wild. Noah didn't hesitate but reached in and hauled her into a gentle hug, raining light kisses over her cheek. "Good morning, princess," he whispered, holding her close for a second.

"Daddy, that tickles!" she squealed, wriggling in his arms but not wanting him to let go.

Later, when Noah and Luna came to the kitchen for breakfast, the little girl looked around, frowning.

"No Y/N?"

Noah laughed. "I'm glad you want her, but she doesn't live here." 

Luna snorted.

"Hey, do you want to go visit your uncles this evening? We can invite Y/N too."

Luna beamed instantly. "Yes!"

"Great, now let's go have breakfast."

You loved working at that café. Mostly for the memories.

Mostly for one, in particular.

The first time you laid eyes on Noah, you were standing behind the counter, wiping down the wood surface and getting ready for the rush of regulars. It was still early, the kind of early where the light from outside just about began to filter through the window, casting a warm, golden glow over the tables and chairs.

Muffled murmurs of conversation were already beginning to rise as people huddled into their usual spots, but you weren't really paying attention to anyone in particular, not until he walked in.

Noah caught your eye the moment he stepped through the door. He wasn't in any kind of rush, which was unusual for that time of day because most customers came in rushing to get their coffee and go on to start their day.

He walked in slowly, and on his hip was a little girl, no older than two years, clutching at a stuffed bunny, with a head full of soft brown hair. You could tell by the way she nestled into him that she felt safe. There was comfort there, the soft way her tiny head rested against his shoulder, her fingers tugging on his shirt.

Noah gazed around the shop with calm eyes, taking in everything there was to see, before finally his gaze settled on the chalkboard menu above your head.

You looked at him.

There was something soft in his brown eyes, a certain delicacy that paused you for just a second. There was something quiet in the way he moved, nothing hasty, nothing impatient.

You tried to focus on the next customer, taking their order and passing it along, but your attention kept drifting back to him as he stepped up to the counter. He shifted the little girl -Luna, though you wouldn’t know her name until much later- onto his hip, settling her so that she was comfortable. Her head lolled against him, her eyes wide as she took in the new sights of the coffee shop.

By the time he reached you, his eyes met yours briefly. "Just a coffee. Black, please," he said in a low but warm voice as he gave you the money. He smiled then, a small, polite smile, but reaching his eyes with a crinkling at the corners that was enough to make you wonder if he smiled like that often.

"Sure." You nodded, your hands working on automatic to make his coffee while your mind eddied its way back to him. You couldn't help but turn to him again as you worked, observing how tenderly he spoke with his daughter, his voice too low for you to catch what he said.

Whatever it was, it made her giggle, a soft, innocent sound that made your heart warm.

Noah smiled at her, a real, full smile that spoke of exactly how much he adored her, and you felt that distinct tug in your chest.

You set the coffee on the counter, watched him balance it gingerly with one hand, the other still holding Luna tight.

"Thanks," he said and flashed that smile again.

You were smiling back before you could catch yourself. "Of course."

He turned to leave and in his arms, Luna, who had been watching the world quietly, suddenly raised her little head and waved her tiny hand at you. Bright, big, round eyes, so inquisitive, locked into yours for that one second. A soft laugh escaped you and instinctively, you waved back.

Noah noticed it too, and he chuckled softly, his eyes meeting yours again. "She's friendly. Shy but friendly," he said, his voice light with amusement.

"She's adorable," you replied, your gaze shifting to Luna for a second before returning to him.

He nodded, quiet pride in his face as he readjusted her on his hip, her head nuzzling once again into its place against his shoulder. And just like that, he was gone, out the door and away with that same unhurried calm, morning light catching him and his daughter as they stepped out into it.

You found yourself staring at the door long after it had closed behind him, the usual sounds of the coffee shop filtering into your consciousness.

There was just something about Noah, the way he moved, the way he looked at his daughter, the way he smiled at you, that separated him from everyone else who had crossed through the shop that morning.

That day, you just wished he'd come back.

And he did. And kept doing it.

About a year now from when you first met, and months after you started officially dating, Noah would still sometimes drop by the workplace during one of your shifts after dropping Luna off at daycare, usually to get some tea.

And Noah's frequent visits had led to frequent visits from a bunch of men covered in tattoos who you had quickly started to consider your friends. Jolly and Folio had become regulars by this time.

One year from your first encounter, the hum of the espresso machine, chatter of customers, and the occasional clang of a coffee cup still filled that space with their familiar rhythm on that day.

You cleaned some glasses and placed them on the shelf behind the counter, glancing at the line forming by the register as Grace took orders with her usual efficiency. It was just another day.

You had just begun putting a fresh set of pastries on display when your phone buzzed in your jeans pocket. You slid it out in one smooth motion, looking at the screen. It was Noah.

Noah♡: Good morning beautiful

Noah♡: Having dinner with the guys tonight. Band, Matt, Bryan… super chill, probably just getting pizza.

Noah♡: I’m bringing Luna too ofc, the uncles wanna see her. You wanna come?

You smiled, already picturing the evening. Hanging out with Noah and the rest of the group always made things feel easy, and having Luna around was a bonus. You didn’t even have to think twice before replying.

You: Morning <3

You: Yeah, I’d love to.

In a couple of seconds, he texted you back.

Noah♡: Awesome! We’re thinking 7-ish. I'll pick you up if you're free by then?

You: Sounds perfect! I get off at 5, so I'll be more than ready :)

You: How’s your day going so far? Luna’s at daycare?

Noah♡: Yeah, just dropped her off a bit ago before heading to the studio.

Noah♡: Nick keeps saying I need to stop getting distracted by you when I’m here 😂

You: lol tell him I'm sorry.

Noah♡: I should probably get back to work before he actually pulls his hair out.

You: Okay! Good luck with that.

Noah♡: Thanks, see you later <3

You: Bye!

You typed back, finally sliding my phone back into your pocket.

You headed home immediately after your shift, showered, and got ready for dinner. Slipping into your favorite casual outfit, something comfortable yet cute, perfect for a laid-back evening with Noah, Luna, and the rest of the group. You checked your phone to find out it was already 6:30 p.m. You smiled as Noah would probably be there soon.

By 6:50, you were sitting on the couch, scrolling through your phone and glancing out the window every now and then. The minutes ran their race, and before you knew it, 7:00 got there and passed.

You thought maybe he could be running a little late, maybe something came up with Luna, or he was held up at the studio. But as 7:15 got away, you did start to feel a little uneasy. Noah was always punctual, especially with plans such as this.

You sent him a quick text.

You: Hey! Are you almost here? :)

Ten minutes passed, and still no response. You frowned, eyes going to the clock once again. 7:30.

Your mind started to race a little. Maybe his phone had died, or maybe he was stuck in traffic.

You tried to reassure your mind that this could be the case, but the nagging concern just kept growing in the pit of your stomach. You typed out another message, a little more concerned this time, anyway.

You: Noah? Everything okay?

The message sent, but once again, no reply. His silence felt unusual, unsettling. You sat up, looking at your phone, willing it to light up from a message from him. But it stayed dark.

At 7:45, the worry had taken root fully. Something wasn't right.

You called him, waited, but he didn't answer.

You decided to text Jolly. Maybe Noah had gotten caught up with the guys and forgot to message you.

You: Hey! Is Noah with you guys?

It wasn't long before Jolly replied.

Jolly: Nah, haven't seen him.

Jolly: Thought he was picking you up?

You: He was supposed to. He's not answering my texts, though. Do you guys know where he is?

There was a pause before Jolly's response came in.

Jolly: Weird. No, we don't know. He said he'd be here for dinner. Want us to come check?

Your fingers hovered over the screen for a second before you typed back.

You: No, it's cool. I will go to his place and see if he is there. I'll keep you updated.

Jolly: Alright, let us know if something is wrong.

You stared at your phone for a second, trying to calm the nerves spiraling out of control. Grabbing your keys, you made for the door, the pounding of your heart edging up with every step.

You pulled on your jacket, fingers fumbling a little as you tucked your phone into your pocket and you headed towards the door. The cool evening air hit your face, but it did little to wash the storm of worry in your head. You just couldn't kill the feeling that something was wrong, Noah wouldn't just not show up like this without a word.

Your steps quickened towards the car as your heart pounded harder with each second passing. You fumbled with the keys for a second before you opened the door and slid into the driver's seat.

You took a deep breath, your hands clasped onto the steering wheel before pulling out of the driveway. If he wasn't home, you had absolutely no idea where he could be.

You drove to Noah's house in near silence, your usual music wasn't filling the car as your mind jumbled with concern and scenarios you'd rather not think about. The streets felt emptier than usual tht night, the sky a shade of deep indigo as the evening settled in. By the time you pulled up outside his place, it was nearly 8:30 p.m., and your heart was racing.

You turned off the engine, your headlights casting long shadows across the yard.

For a moment, you just sat there.

It was probably all okay. But the feeling in your chest refused to budge. You stepped out of the car and went up the pathway leading to his front door, as the cool evening air brushed against your skin.

You reached the door and knocked lightly once, then again a little harder. "Noah?" you called softly, but there was no response. The house seemed still. You knocked again, your knuckles against the wood sounded louder in the silence.

You waited, the stillness compressing around you. Then, you reached for the handle and, hoping it would be locked, turned it with shaking fingers.

It wasn't.

The door creaked open and you hesitated for just one moment before stepping inside. The living room was in darkness, save the soft glow of a lamp that had been left on. Everything looked untouched, but the silence was heavy. You called out once more, your voice barely louder than a whisper. "Noah?"

Nothing.

The wooden floor creaked softly under your feet as, with one more step, you entered the house and stepped into the familiar space. Your mind was racing, scanning the room for any sign of him or Luna. Maybe they went out after all, but where would Noah go without telling you?

You walked deeper into the house past the kitchen and down the hall, your stomach knotting tighter. What if something had happened? You thought you was being too dramatic, but a rising panic tugged at you.

But then, as you reached the end of the hall, you heard it: a soft, almost inaudible sound was coming from Luna's room. Your heart skipped a beat, and that spark of hope just seemed to grow. You walked over, the door slightly ajar, and gently pushed it open.

What met your gaze sent your breath catching in your throat.

There, on Luna's narrow bed, lay Noah, sleeping. He curled onto his side, one arm protectively wrapped around Luna snugged up close against him under her pastel pink blanket, her stuffed bunny tucked against her chest.

Noah's mouth hung a little open as he breathed slowly, his whole face relaxed in that way that tugged at your heart.

His dark hair was messy in a way that made you want to run your fingers through it, falling messily across his forehead, and his lashes cast soft shadows on his cheeks. So peaceful, so utterly at ease.

Luna looked equally as serene, her little hand resting against her father's chest, the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest sending her deeply to sleep.

The sight made your heart swell, all your earlier fear melting away in an instant: he wasn't missing, he wasn't hurt, he was just there, with Luna, too exhausted from the day and too tired to stay awake for dinner.

You stood there for a long moment, watching them, unable to tear your gaze away. You couldn't bring yourself to wake him. He looked so beautiful, so calm, like everything in his world was right in that moment, and you didn't want to disturb that.

But then you noticed that Noah wasn’t under the covers like Luna was and though the room wasn't cold, you couldn’t help but feel he might get chilly if he spent the night like that.

Quietly, you crossed the room and spotted the folded blanket near the bed. It was purple with may little butterflies on it and you almost let out a chuckle when, without disturbing him, you carefully laid it over his body, making sure it covered him well. He barely stirred, his breathing steady.

You let out a soft, barely audible sigh and stepped back, slowly closing the door behind you, leaving Noah and Luna in their peaceful slumber.

Once back in the hall, you were pulling your phone out of your pocket, releasing that pressing tension that had built up in your chest. A soft smile was on your lips as you took your time typing a message into your phone, directed to Jolly.

You: Everything's all right. Noah fell asleep with Luna. He must have just been really tired.

A moment later, he responded.

Jolly: Ah, makes sense. Glad he's all right. What a dork. You guys still coming?

You smiled softly at your phone, your heart still full from the sight of Noah and Luna together.

You: I'll let him sleep. We'll come another day if that's okay with you guys.

Jolly: Alright, no worries. I'll probably come get a coffee tomorrow anyway :)

You: Okay, see you!

You tucked the phone back into your pocket and looked once more at the door, now closed, to Luna's room. You knew that Noah was tired, between the studio, Luna, writing new songs, and all the rest of it, he seemed never to stop. Yet, seeing him now, so serene, you saw just how much rest he needed, how much of himself he gave every day.

You stepped back, with a hushed tone, towards the front door, walking outside into the cool night air and closing the front door behind you, feeling lighter now. As you got back into your car, couldn't help but smile to yourself, the image of him and Luna still in your mind.

You'd see him tomorrow. For now, he was safe, sleeping, exactly where he needed to be.

Later, when you got home, you opened the door and stepped into the space with a soft smile still on your lips.

You shrugged off your jacket and slung it onto the couch. Your hand went absent-mindedly for the switch near the door, but in the dark, you underestimated the distance and knocked into the corner of a shelf. The sharp edge caught at your elbow, sending a dull, gnawing pain up your arm as a stack of books came crashing down to the floor with a resounding thud.

You hopped back, startled, and your purse fell off of your shoulder. The heavy bag hit the ground with a thud, spewing its insides out in all directions.

You sighed looking at the chaos around you that was the inside of your purse: your keys, crumpled receipts, lip gloss, pens, gum wrappers, random bits of makeup, loose change, all of them on the floor in a disorganized mess.

Dropping to your knees, you began gathering the items, your fingers brushing over the familiar detritus of daily life. A half-used roll of mints. A tube of hand cream you'd forgotten about. More receipts than you cared to count. You gathered everything back into the purse, vowing for the hundredth time to clean it out properly someday soon.

But reaching for a stray receipt that had fallen under the coffee table, your hand hit something made of a different kind of paper.

You pulled it out, frowning in confusion. It was a small photograph, crinkled around the edges, worn from time and handling. You stared at it for a moment, recognition not meeting you at first, before a cold realization settled over you.

It was a picture of you and Jason.

Your breath caught a little as you sat back on your heels, the faint light from the streetlamp outside casting an eerie sort of glow over the photograph. There you were, standing outside Jason's old tattoo shop, your arm wrapped around his waist, his arm slung casually over your shoulders.

He was grinning, that same cocky, self-assured smile that had so effortlessly managed to make you fall in love with him.

You, too, were smiling in the photo, though the version of you staring back from the image felt distant, like a stranger.

You almost perfectly remembered that day, the one of the few times he insisted on taking a picture together, right after he had finished a new art in his shop.

His shop was everything for him, his one true love. More than you ever had been.

You glared at the photo, feeling that old familiar bitterness start to rise in your chest. Jason had been your first serious relationship, the first man who'd made you feel like you could be a part of something exciting, something bigger than the small life you'd been living.

But it hadn't taken long for that excitement to fizzle out, and you realized there was no room for you in his world, and things just couldn't work out between you two, and you had to move on.

And you had moved on. But here now, holding this old photograph in your hand, memories started to threaten their way to the surface, tugging at emotions that you thought had long since faded.

You stared at the photo a moment longer, then let out a slow breath as some of the tension in your chest finally eased. Jason didn't matter anymore. Not like he once had.

He'd been a chapter in your life, but one that was closed now. And you'd found so much more after him. Better people. Real connections. People who made you actually feel seen, valued. People like Noah.

You got up without another word and walked across the room to the trash can. Your fingers were clutched tightly around the photograph for a moment, before you tossed it inside. It fluttered down into the bin, landing on top of the open wrapping of a box that once held snacks.

You returned to the mess that had spilled out onto the floor, gathering the rest of your belongings methodically: a pen here, a few coins there. The usual stuff that crowded your purse throughout the day, every day. Then, you zipped the bag shut with a satisfying snick.

You got up, having cast a final look at the waste bin, and moved to the couch, where you finally realized you were starting to fell rather tired.

You didn't want to think about your ex anymore. Jason was the past. And you had so much waiting for you in the present.

Again, Noah's peaceful face entered your mind, the way he held Luna protectively in his arms. That was the kind of connection you wanted all along, built on love, trust, and being taken care of. And now it was within reach.

You leaned back into the cushions, a soft smile playing at the corners of your lips as you closed your eyes.

"Fuck, I need to cook dinner now."

Tags: @anything-more-than-human @ladyveronikawrites @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @fadingangelwisp @xmads-omensx @iwasntstable @thisbicc @pathion @mathfairchild1 @flowery-mess @into-the-grey @lma1986 @tosoundlessdarkistare @stardustsirenmelody @thewrstinme

TBAF Tags: @aubrey-melinoe @klutzy-kay24 @mrscevans @concreteangel92 @iconic-taurus @niicoleleigh @cheyyyyr @supersquirrel1996 @respectfulrebel

[wileys-russo]

ignorance is bliss ficlet II l.williamson x reader

my angry cinnamon roll gf’s 🤭

feel free to read the proper full fic that this is a spin off from here

ignorance is bliss ficlet II l.williamson x reader

"did she say she wasn't coming?" lia asked again with a frown as you shrugged hopelessly, just as clueless to your girlfriends absence from training as the rest of the team, leah now almost an hour late and not answering anyone's calls.

"no she was already up and getting ready when i left, she seemed fine?" you explained, having left before your girlfriend to get a coffee with lotte who had then driven the two of you to training, leahs unusual absence causing a pit of worry to form in the bottom of your stomach.

"oh thank god here she is hold on.” you breathed a sigh of relief as her contact flashed on your screen.

“may i please be excused quickly jonas? its leah." you asked softly, wincing as you interrupted the briefing and felt everyone’s eyes watching on as you hurried out of the room, accepting the call.

"leah where the hell are you? you're late and you're never late! in fact you are always on my case about making us late to things." you rambled, stepping outside and holding the phone to your ear.

"yeah uh, i sort of…ran into some car trouble on the way there." leah replied in a strange tone of voice making you frown. "car trouble? whats happened? are you alright?" you questioned quickly with growing concern, leaning against the wall behind you as your mind raced with all the worst case scenarios.

"well..." leah trailed off and you waited patiently for an answer but there wasn't one. "well? just spit it out lee, as long as you're safe we can fix whatever happened, a car is only something material babe." you assured her softly, feeling your chest tighten with nerves at her obvious hesitation to come clean.

"no no it wasn't an accident or anything I um, well I-" leah danced around her words and you felt your patience thinning, bouncing on the balls of your feet.

"isortoflostmylicensecauseigotdonespeedingagainandineedyoutocomeandpickmeup." your girlfriend word vomited so fast you couldn't make out a single word of what she was saying. "what? slower please lee." you pinched at the bridge of your nose, exhaling deeply.

"i sort of lost my license cause i got done speeding again and i need you to come and pick me up…please." leah repeated and your eyes widened as you finally understood, the silence on your side of the line causing leahs stomach to twist into knots.

"please don't be mad i know you're always onto me about it and i really think this is the thing i needed to learn my lesson but- hey are you laughing at me?" leah frowned as you doubled over, resting a hand on your knee as you were indeed laughing at the predicement.

"oi its not funny! i can't drive for three months now!" leah shouted and you could almost hear the stroppy pout which would be forming on the older girls lips.

"it is funny because i did in fact warn you of this time and time again and you never listened. i told you so!" you sung out with a grin, leah somewhat relieved you weren't upset with her but also not appreciating that your amusement was at her expense.

"too bad i wasn't there to flirt your way out of it huh?" you smiled smugly, rewarded with an annoyed huff and a half understood grumbled insult.

"sorry what was that? you're going to walk to training? wonderful i'll see you soon!" you teased, leah yelling out a hasty apology and practically begging you not hang up, something which was more than rare from your normally over confident girlfriend.

"please come get me! i'm stranded and it's really embarrassing, what if someone recognises me?" leah whined and you rolled your eyes that of course that was her biggest concern right now.

"why don't you just sit in the car then while you wait?" you sighed with a small smile, the silence on the other end telling you all you needed to know.

"oh leah....you didn't. not again!" "stop leah'ing me, you sound like my mum!" "oh i can't wait to tell your mum about this." "don't you fucking dare!"

this was not a one off occasion. leah determined to buy the most tricked out car she could had spared no expense on the bells and whistles, though one of these had time and time again meant she’d locked her keys inside the insanely posh vehicle.

"baby i warned you when you bought that stupidly expensive car that the self locking feature would bite you in the ass." "now is so not the time for an i told you so. just come and pick me up!" "come pick you up..." "right now?" "leah!" "sorry. please please please come pick me up gorgeous. i love you?"

"i'll get someone to drive me now. you know you could just get an uber leah." "what did i say about leah'ing me!" ~

"there she is." you pointed out your girlfriend with a grin as katie slowed down a little, leah sat on the curb with her hoodie pulled over her head, clearly attempting to hide herself but the glaringly obvious red and blue arsenal tracksuit did her no favors.

"she looks like that kid who runs away from home gets about five minutes down the road and calls for their parents to come pick them up!" beth laughed at your girlfriends sour expression as you pulled beside her, though you'd note that to the others in the back all pointing and teasing her.

"you had to bring a crowd?" leah grumbled, standing to her feet and crossing her arms over her chest, glaring at beth and laura in the back who were pulling faces at her.

"what’s to say other than we all just had to witness the miracle for ourselves!" katie beamed as you leaned over and whispered something quickly in her ear, the irish woman nodding subtly with a smirk.

"go on then speed demon in ya hop!" katie teased, leah reaching for the door handle as she suddenly jerked the car forward and away from her, the four of you grinning as leahs jaw tightened.

“come on leah, in we get!” laura called out much like you would encourage a dog to return to its owner, which was not lost on leah who gave the younger girl a frighteningly filthy look.

"come on woman we haven't got all day you know!" beth tapped at her wrist mocking the time as once again leah reached for the door and katie moved the car forward slightly, sending the four of you into hysterics like naughty school kids at the back of the bus.

"nah you know what fuck this! i'm walking." your girlfriend fumed, kicking at the back of katies car and storming off down the road. you were quick to unbuckle yourself, jumping out and racing off after her as the girls all called out for her to get in the car.

"baby, get in the car." you grabbed her hand, looking at her with an amused smile as the taller blonde simply glared back at you wordlessly as you wrapped yourself around her in a hug, her arms remaining stoic by her side as she refused to engage in it.

"relax the face, relax the face." you cooed sarcastically and stroked at her forehead and cheeks trying to smooth away the deep frown lines as the defender smacked your hands away but you saw a hint of a smile grace her features as you stole a quick kiss and tugged her back with you towards the car.

leahs frown deepened as she was met with slow claps and she slid in the back beside laura, flipping them all off and sinking down into her seat.

"good news mccabe. as my work wife you have now been promoted and unlocked a new daily task. driving us to training!" you grinned as the irish woman rolled her eyes playfully.

"only if you caress my thigh and hold my hand like you do with blondie darlin." katie smirked at leah through the rear view mirror as you agreed, reaching out to accept her offered hand, intertwing your digits over the middle console.

"mccabe if you'd like to ever walk again i'd suggest you not touch her, or else i may have to accidentally studs up tackle you in every single drill." leah warned seriously, katie only grinning and bringing your intertwined hands up to her mouth, kissing your knuckles as you sarcastically swooned and leah huffed.

"now now don't worry, i'm sure vivs happy to share." beth teased, holding her hand up toward leah expecting her to kiss it as the blonde simply shot her a murderous look and smacked it away.

this was going to be a long three months.

[l3viat8an]

Nsfw content MDNI

Ofc me being me, I can’t work on the idea I want to but I can write a random idea that popped into my head!- anyways some Lucifer content because why not ;) CW: Me just typing words and hoping they make sense tbh- Pillow humping, Lucifer really, misses you and he’s a little jealous~

This is stupid.

You’ve only been gone 2 days, 2 measly days! He’s been on longer trips away from you and never felt this….needy.

Lucifer’s thinks it’s pathetic the way he’s feeling, but he hugs your pillow tighter, burying his nose a little deeper and breathing in your scent.

What’s worse is the reason why he’s missing you and wishes he could touch you.

You sent him a photo this morning, nothing risky or even suggested! Just a quick mirror selfie in the bathroom at the hotel, where you and Satan were staying.

Oh yea, Satan was with you! Diavolo had insisted the two of you go on a short trip to the human world and acquire new rare books for the RAD library. Lucifer had objected saying he could accompany you instead, but Diavolo shot him down. Saying it was more fitting for Satan to go and how Lucifer’s work plate didn’t need another thing added. You had frowned a little, but ultimately agreed with Diavolo. If you and Satan could do the job and not make more work for Lucifer that had to be the better option! Right?-

But back to the photo!- It was you, bleary-eyed and messy bed head, smiling into the mirror, you sent him the pic followed by a quick ‘Good morning, Luci <3’ text. It made his heart melt and cheeks flush a bit. Lucifer always loved how you looked first thing in the morning, so cute and still half asleep until you’ve had coffee and breakfast.

But that wasn’t what had set Lucifer off. What had really got to Lucifer was Satan, standing behind you in the bathroom doorway his hair still messy and holding a cup of coffee out to you.

Lucifer knew it was stupid but the thought ‘It’s not fair.’ Won’t leave his mind. It’s not, after all. Satan is with you in the human world, apparently sharing a hotel room, getting to see that soft look on your face first thing in the morning and Lucifer is down here in literal hell hugging a pillow wishing it was you.

What’s even worse then all of that is how thoughts of you, in his bed with him won’t leave his mind.

You should be here, he should have his arms wrapped around you and be able to touch and kiss you, just because he feels like it.

But you’re not and he can’t. It’s so frustrating, all these thoughts mixed with the unusual feeling of jealousy fill his mind, he wants to clam you, take you, mark you.

And he can’t do any of it because you’re not there……but your pillow is….and maybe….

Lucifer sits up in bed, still holding your pillow, “No.” he says aloud as if that’ll clear the thoughts from his mind.

He’s not some hopeless virgin, he’s the avatar of pride! and he’s not about to fuck a pillow because he’s lonely……is he?

He sets the pillow in his lap looking down at it, as if the pillow did something wrong.

As he looks at the pillow memories of your face, head on it, eyes teary and cheeks flushed red as he fucks you float through his mind or when he has you on your stomach, biting the pillow to muffle your moans. “Fuck.” Lucifer breaths memories of your nights together filling his mind.

In the end his body decides for him. Grabbing the pillow, Lucifer stands up, setting the pillow in roughly the same position your ass would be if he bent you over his bed. Sliding his pants and boxers down, enough to free his hard cock and seeing the pre-cum beading at the tip and Lucifer mumbles “Pathetic.” He’s better then this……but you’re his weakness… experimentally, he holds your pillow still and ruts against it.

The material is a soft enough, Lucifer ruts his hips a few more times, letting out soft moans. If he keeps his eyes closed he can imagine it’s you, just like that time you teased him with red silk lingerie~

Ahhh~ more thoughts of you, naked and underneath him, begging for more, for whatever pleasure he’d give you. Lucifer opens his eyes hoping to see your face and is met with reality. He’s still alone, it’s just your pillow, just your scent in the room with him.

His hips speed up and a sound that can only be described as a whine of your name leaves his lips followed by, “Stupid and not fair……” he pulls away from the pillow and pumps his cock in hand, rubbing his thumb over the tip and groaning. It’s still pleasure and feels good but it’s not as good as you!

He grips the pillow again, rutting into it much faster then before, properly chasing his high now, Lucifer closes his eyes picturing you, just you. “Miss you, miss you so much.” Lucifer pants as he cums all over you pillow.

He stands there for a moment, coming down from his temporary high and hears his DDD chime. Sighing Lucifer reaches for his phone it’s a texts from you ‘Miss you. Goodnight 😘’ a small smile on his lips Lucifer texts back ‘Miss you too, goodnight, Darling and sweet dreams.’

[saphiccarma]

Title: and I'm your best friend (but your a killer)

Ship: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

[A/N this was meant to be a short one shot and then I got carried away lol)

The last thing Natasha wanted to do was bother you, not after you had done so much for her and she was always disappearing under the guise of work. Despite that, she was knocking one your door with bruised knuckles and a small duffle slung over her shoulder that felt heavier than it should.

Slowly, the door opened and she was met with your face that was pinched with worry. You furrowed your brows at her, and despite the unusual time you appeared wide awake.

"Natalia," unlike all the other times Natasha had met you, your voice curt, "What's up?" Normally you would let her in without question and have her sit down while you made tea or hot cocoa.

"I need a place to stay," her mouth managed to form.

"Look-," glancing back inside with a sigh, your fingers twisted around the door handle tightly, "I don't know if I-"

"Please, I'll be gone by morning," she cut in, her body begging to rest. There was no where to else to go for her, with SHIELD down she had no base.

SHIELD had been her base, the closet thing to home - not that she ever stung around somewhere long enough to develop a home. But all her belongings, other than a few at a couple safehouses, where gone. Her apartment on base was gone. Sam's house was most likely not undisclosed information anymore and she couldn't go with Steve, he was never good at espionage.

You pressed your lips together in thought, face more taught and worried than it had ever been.

"Fine."

The door was widened slightly to let her in and Natasha stumbled into the apartment, her legs carrying her over to flop on the couch where she usually slept. You had bought a pull out for her years ago when she continued to crash at your place time after time.

You entered the area holding a white box stamped with a white cross. Uncharacteristically silent you sat on the coffee table across from her, quietly mumbling for her to remove her shirt. Bandaging her wounds, your hands worked with an unfamiliar harshness. Whenever she came to you with wounds, you never asked questions accepting the answer from the one time where she told you she worked as a security guard.

Tugging harshly at a wound around her bicep you tore the end of the bandage off before slapping another onto her cheek. She scratched at the irritable , itchy material against her cheek, watching as you left the room for a moment.

Her eyes wandered from the hallway you retreated to towards the desk sitting in the corner of the room. Against her gut telling her not to, Natasha peeked at the open computer emitting a soft light. Pulled up in a google chrome browser were some of the files she had released, files on her. You had read the files.

In her 8 years of knowing you, Natasha never once told you about her past. She let you know her as the redhead who spilled coffee in the middle of a cafe. You had grown to know her as the woman who mysteriously showed up at your house with cuts littering her face. Her impression on you was as an adult who worked as a security guard and didn't have a family to go to.

She re-used her old name when around you. When she became an avenger, you didn't question how she looked like a female superhero on TV - it was a blessing Natasha had managed to mostly avoid the cameras.

But now you knew. You were everything she wasn't, Natasha didn't you to know about her life that was dripping with blood. Your eyes sparkled bright and smiled shimmered in contrast to her dark shadows. It was a secret she kept close to her chest, but it was out the window now.

Re-entering the room you followed her eye line to the computer, your lips twisting further downward. Natasha opened her mouth to speak in her defense, but you cut her off.

"Where you ever going to tell me? Or were you going to leave me in the dark Natalia? Or is it Natasha? Or Natalie Rushman? Nadia Vostokoff?"

Tears brimmed your eyes as you spoke, your voice cracking at the end.

"Y/N I was going to tell you, but you-" Natasha began, her voice surprisingly strong despite her stomach twisting into knots.

"I what? I was too innocent? Too oblivious? I'm not a fucking child Natalia! I deserved to know!" The clothes you had been carrying for her dropped to floor silently as you threw your hands up in frustration, "I deserved to know." your voice was quieter, a broken whisper as you repeated your statement.

For once in her life Natasha was at a loss for words. You had never acted out like this before, usually calm and quiet.

You took her stunned silence as a que to keep going, "I deserved to know my best friend had done all that," your hand flailed towards the computer, "You should have fucking told me!"

Her mouth opened and closed like a fish before she schooled her face and forced her mouth and brain to form coherent sentences, "I know."

"If you know then why didn't I?" you said.

"It never came up," Natasha shrugged, reverting back to her roots of diverting the conversation, "Can we talk about it in the morning? Please?" She gave you those wide eyes that always worked, and it seemed you knew she was manipulating you but regardless you sighed and plucked the clothes off the ground.

Crossing the room in a few short strides you dropped the clothes into her lap, the smell of your perfume flooding her nose. Without another word you stalked to your bedroom, heavy footsteps echoing with anger.

<__________>

Natasha was gone early the next morning without giving you a chance to talk to her about it. It was clear she wasn't welcome there anymore. Neatly, she had folded the clothes and set them on the counter with a note.

I'm sorry I never told you. I'll be out of your hair now.

-N.A

Her heart throbbed painfully and there was a twinge in her abdomen as she snuck out the window into the alley behind your house, the gravel crunching beneath her feet. There were only a few places she could go now. The Senate would most likely want her to give a statement, and despite that being the last thing she wanted to do, Natasha knew it would happen eventually.

Sure enough, the next when watching the news - the Senate was announcing that they wanted to know her where abouts so they could have her give a statement. Reluctantly, but hopeful for a chance to potentially clear her name, Natasha gave the stupid statement and walked off with a bang.

Tony approached her after that, pulling up outside with one of his fancy cars and acted like he was picking her up. Happy greeted her with a nod and pinched brows as he opened the door to the car. She slipped in, her heels nearly catching on the rim of the door. Sliding his classes down, Tony turned to face her with a wide grin.

"There's my favorite Russian Assassin," Natasha ignored the way her stomach churned at those words and focused on the car moving and the flashes outside, "So, I know that you need some where to go know and since I have a bunch of space leftover, you wanna stay at the tower? It'll be like old times."

Nothing ever came for free with Tony, but Natasha caught the caring glint in his eye and knew he just wanted to help. Grudging, she nodded her head - much to Tony's amusement as he grinned and slung an arm over her shoulder. She shrugged him off with a hard stare.

Life at the tower had been fine - Turns out Tony offered residence to Steve and Maria as well so they were both residing there (According to Maria she was merely working there, but Natasha had a suspicion Tony let her stay because of their minimal friendship). Bruce resided there. Natasha took one look at him, at his messy graying hair, dark eyebags and decided he would be an easy way to forget everything. Throughout that time she took up to flirting with the man. The usual enjoyment she got when she playfully flirted with you was not present when she did so with Bruce.

Over time, she kept tabs on you - watching as you moved out into the country and bought yourself a house and a truck.

Which led her to where she was now, knocking on your doorstep once more as Clint held her upright and the rest of the Avengers stood clustered behind her. Ultron did a number on them and it was reasonable Clint didn't want to bring everyone to the farmhouse. Despite not seeing you for a year, Natasha silently hoped you would help.

The door opened slowly, the movement conveying hesitance, and your tired face stared back. Dark bags half-circled your eyes and your hair was disheveled. A baggy shirt dangled off your right shoulder - which you righted once you caught sight of the group in front of you.

"Natalia?" the name was unwelcome at the time, but Natasha couldn't care to correct you, "Wha-?"

"Please, I know I said I'll be out of your hair, but we have no where else to go."

You exhale slowly, taking stock of the group before scrunching your nose and letting them in. Natasha barely missed tripping over a cat as she entered - a calico cat who bounded after you with excited meows. Scooping it up in your arms with a soft coo, you turned to face the group.

"Sorry about the mess," your eyes scanned over the group, entirely missing Natasha, "I never have anyone over so," a helpless shrug of your shoulders, "You guys can wash up upstairs, bathroom is first door the your right and there's an extra bedroom with another bathroom at the end of the hall. I'll make some dinner."

Natasha avoided you the entire time and they were gone the next morning.

<_________>

The next time she knocked on your doorstep was bruised and bloodied and with three companions. Yelena groaned behind her, the sound impatient and ready to rest.

"Sestra, is this person going to open the door or not?"

"Give her a minute Yelena, it's the middle of the night."

Eventually she knocked again, her bruised knuckles rapping against the door and a dog's bark echoing behind the door. Melina sighed impatiently behind her and Alexei let out an annoyed groan of exaggerated pain. When the rest of the group seemed ready to leave, even though Natasha knew you would answer the door (You always did), the door swung open - a dog's insistent barking still echoing through the house.

You looked worse than before with your eye bags deeper and skin paler. Sunken in cheekbones made you look like you were dying and your hair was messier than ever. Squinting your eyes you gently shoved the dog back into the house and stepped outside, closing the door.

"Natalia? What are you doing here?" your voice was scratchier than last time.

"We- um, we need a place to stay."

For a moment it looked like you would turn her away with the way your nose crinkled and eye brows pinched together with a sharp exhale. Thinking it over, you let them in with a tired sigh. Natasha took in the place, nearly the same as before aside from a few extra Monster cans littering the counter next to an open computer and dirty coffee cups lying around on a coffee table in the sitting room. You led them over there, having them all sit on the couch before flicking on a light.

"Alright," you placed your hands on your hips, a familiar sight, "I don't need to know who you are. There are two bedrooms upstairs, plus a blowup mattress in one of them, and the couch is a pullout. Split it up however you want, I don't really care. There should be some food in the fridge if your hungry," after giving them a once over once more you closed your eyes briefly and groaned, "You guys don't have a change of clothes do you? Fine, I'll be right back."

Before any of them could protest you were slipping on a pair of shoes by the door and snatching a pair of keys off the counter, the dog barking at you as you headed towards the door. Natasha caught the barest hint of a smile on your face you led the dog out the door to join you on your midnight errand.

"Who is that?" Yelena asked, her accent thick.

"....A friend," Natasha replied hesitantly, plucking at her suit, "We shouldn't stay here long."

Melina eyed her suspiciously.

"A friend?" Alexei guffawed, "Natasha she did not seem like your friend!" His loud voice echoed through the house.

"You three can have the upstairs rooms, I'll take the couch," Natasha ignored her fake father and ushered them all off the couch while she pulled out the couch. It snapped open with a pop and she found a fluffy blanket buried in a basket next to the couch.

Yelena was the only one remaining in the room, her skeptical gaze resting on Natasha.

"What Yelena?"

The blonde shrunk in on herself slightly at the harsh tone and Natasha forced herself to calm a little.

"Who is she?" she repeated her earlier question, this time with more persistence than before.

"A friend."

"Natasha, she did not seem to like you."

Natasha gave a one-shouldered shrug, aiming for indifference, but Yelena was a trained widow - trained to spot emotions even if you didn't want her to. She plopped down on the couch, her arms splayed out and peering up at Natasha with puppy-dog eyes, the one's the redhead often used on you.

"Please?"

Natasha huffed at her childish behavior, shoving Yelena off, "We had a falling out. She doesn't really like me anymore."

A thud echoed upstairs and Natasha's head snapped up before she raced up the stairs and burst into the first room. Alexei sat on the ground under Melina's patronizing stare. A cat - the same Calico as before - sat in front of them, it's back to the door. The creature meowed, inching forward towards the man on the floor who gave a shout and stood up, scrambling backwards. When Yelena entered and caught sight of the scene she burst out laughing.

"Are you scared of a котенок (cat)?" she asked teasingly, Russian accent even clearer through her amusement.

"That is a spawn of hell!" Alexei tried to defend himself.

In what Natasha assumed was an attempt to regain some of his pride Alexei aimed a small kick at the cat as it neared closer. The animal would have gotten launched into the wall had Natasha not scooped it up into her arms, ignoring the way the creature instantly burrowed into her.

"Alexei!" she screeched, "How do you think Y/N would react if you launched her cat into the wall!"

The man gave a sheepish shrug but still lifted his chin with pride. Yelena gave a shout of triumph next to her, pumping her fist into the air.

"What?"

"You gave me her name!" Yelena crowed, a bright grin on her face.

Smacking her fist on her forehead, the cat jumping out of her arms at the same time, Natasha groaned at Yelena's childish nature. She had given the blonde your name, which basically meant giving her your entire life story, but she figured Yelena would figure it out sooner or later.

You returned not soon after the cat incident, in that time Natasha had dug out Mac and Cheese from the pantry to cook for them, much to Yelena and Alexei's excitement. The cat, who she still didn't have a name for, paced around her feet, purring.

The crinkling of plastic bags alerted everyone of your return, and the sound of dog paws scrapping against the floor.

"Bosco! No! C'mon, crate!" She turned her head to see your arms full of plastic bags - Walmart bags - as you herded the dog towards a wooden crate sitting in the corner.

The dog promptly sat on it's rump, staring up at you with pleading eyes. You sighed and gave a shake of your head with a soft smile, "No, crate."

With a pitiful whine the dog turned and sulked to its crate, giving you sad eyes all the while. Once you had secured the dog you turned back into the kitchen, prompting Yelena to stop snooping through your computer and you set the bags on the counter.

"Ok," you pulled a can of monsters and some candy out of one bag before retrieving some basic groceries - milk, cheese, ham, bread, pasta - out of another, "I got you some clothes," you lobbed a bag at Alexie's head and slid another over to Melina, "Those two are for you, I wasn't sure what size Mr. Super Soldier over there needed," despite it being a joke Alexei preened at your comment, "and I took a god guess for the rest of you. Go get changed, I'll see if I can salvage Natalia's attempt at Mac and Cheese."

The redhead turned panicked towards her pot of water, it looked fine, but she had never the best at cooking. When the rest left the room Natasha hesitated, lingering in the entrance of the kitchen as you stirred the pot.

"What do you want Natalia?" turning around you leaned on the counter, arms crossed.

She wanted to know if you were ok. How you were doing. Why you looked so tired. If everything was well. What were your pet's names.

Instead she blurted, "Are you mad at me?"

You blinked owlishly at her for a moment before a sad chuckle left your throat, "Yeah, a little."

"Why?"

"Why?" you parroted, your eyebrows crinkling, "because I found out my best friend was a killer, and then when she promised to explain she left! Then you show up a year later with the Avengers, on my doorstep. Which I still have no idea how you found me. And then you don't visit at all after that before showing up with whoever those people are! Natalia I can't just be the person you come to when you need a place to hide, I have my own life!"

"Really?" she raised a brow, stepping closer, "because all I see is a broken girl. Have you seen yourself lately? You look half-dead. I wouldn't call that a life."

You scoffed, "Sorry that I'm going through some hardships right now with no one to turn to."

"Well it's not like you bothered to contact me either!" she exploded, her hands clenched into fists, "You think I didn't want to talk to you? Come here and have it be like old times where we had sleepovers that we were probably too old for?"

Both of you ignored the way the pot started bubbling over behind you, rather you took a step forward, chin tilted upwards. There was a staring contest between the two of you, a battle of wills. There had been fights between both of you before, one's that always ended like this - one's that Natasha always won.

Your lips started quivering and tears gathered in your eyes, but you held strong staring back at her defiantly. Natasha reached her hand up to brush away a tear that slid down your cheek but you slapped her hand away. Tension crackled in the air as you swallowed thickly and your bottom lips trembled more. A small sniffle escaped you and Natasha's heart broke at your obvious pain. You always hated confrontation, taking care to avoid it.

"Y/N," she reached a hand up to cup your cheek, pulling it back when you flinched.

Your head dipped down, "I have cancer Natalia," you whispered, the words nothing more than broken sounds.

Going from defiant to sad gave her whiplash but Natasha stared at you stunned, and suddenly your frail appearance made sense. The sunken in cheekbones, pale skin, shaky movements, the way your long-sleeve shirt clung to your bony arms.

"You what?"

"I have cancer," you repeated, continuing on her raised eyebrow, "breast cancer. Stage 4. Doctor didn't give me long to live."

She was at a loss for words. What were you supposed to say to someone who told you they had cancer? Once more she reached for your cheek, gently cupping it when you didn't pull away. You leaned into her touch, albeit hesitantly. Your eyes slipped closed.

Slowly Natsha leaned in, your lips millimeters from yours and she could hear your ragged breathing. She stared down her nose at your lips before gently pressing a kiss onto them. Your eyes snapped open, wide and disbelieving, but you didn't pull away - rather pressing in further. Her hands moved to your hips as she deepened the kiss. Your lips were soft, as she always had imagined, and she caught a whiff of your gentle perfume.

You pulled away first with a dopey smile on your face, "I've wanted to do that for a while."

"Me too," she whispered.

An un-lady like snort escaped you, "With the way you were looking at Banner last time?"

She twisted her lips, "Don't ruin the mood."

You let out a little laugh, the sound soft and angelic to her ears. She leaned in for another kiss and you were about to meet her halfway before a loud voice interrupted the moment.

"A friend!" Alexei exclaimed, "I see you were lying Natasha!"

You jumped away from her, much to Natasha's dismay, with a rosy blush on your pale cheeks.

"Alexei!" Natasha hissed, "Leave her be."

"Aww," Yelena cooed from behind him, her blonde hair let down and flowing past her shoulders, "Natasha has a girlfriend."

Your fiery blush was a welcome sight accompanied by your embarrassed laugh.

<__________>

Everything didn't go back to normal after that. The argument that had been going on for years was not shoved under rug. You had ended up confronting her about the next morning.

"Natali- Natasha," you fiddled with the sleeves of your shirt, "Can we talk?"

Internally Natasha cooed at your shyness before nodding and following you out the backdoor, greeted by the sound chickens.

"Look, I know that last night it might have seemed like we shoved it under the rug but I still wanted to talk about a few years ago. Because I deserved to know, y'know? And-" your voice cracked a little in the middle of your rambling as your face tilted downward, "And I was hurt. You were my best friend but it turns out you were lying to me all that time and then I had to find out through the internet. Natasha that- that hurt and-"

She placed her hands on your waist, effectively cutting you off and leaned in to give you a kiss, startled when you shoved her backwards.

"No," your voice was firm despite the small tremble in it, "You are not kissing your way out of this."

Natasha huffed, mainly frustrated at herself for reverting back to an old tactic before crossing her arms. Then uncrossing them, recrossing them, before eventually letting them drop to her side.

"Look- Y/N I wanted to tell you I did," she raised a finger at your raised eyebrow and open mouth, "No. Let me talk. I was going to tell you, but you were so...you were everything I wasn't. You were sweet and kind and caring and oh so innocent and I didn't want to ruin that. You were one of the first people to really care for me in a long while and selfishly I didn't want that to change."

"I didn't care that you had done all those things Natasha," unconsciously you pulled your arms around your waist, "I cared that you didn't trust me enough to tell me."

"I did trust you," she stepped closer, gently grabbing your hands in hers - ignoring the way you tried to pull away before taking a deep breath, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

She released one of your hands to cup your chin, gently tilting your head up. Your beautiful eyes were rimmed with tears and your bottom lip stuck out in a small pout. Tugging you towards her, you buriedyour face in Natasha's neck.

"We good now?" she whispered.

"Yeah."

Natasha held like that for a moment, awkwardly rubbing her hand up and down your back.

"You still have to explain the people in house though Natalia."

<________>

They were gone.

Wanda, Bucky - all of them. They just went poof. The News was calling it The Blip, some calling it The Decimation. Half the population of the world was gone. She stripped her suit, the thing covered in dirt, and stepped into the cold shower, letting the water run over her bruised body.

All she wanted was to wash up and return home to you. In the past years, she had taken to moving in with you - after finding Steve and Sam and freeing Wanda. You had welcomed the other's into the house as well and your place became somewhat of a home base for them. When Steve and the other's weren't there, Yelena used the place a base to house widows or as a rest stop.

Natasha took up residence permanently there and it was the best part of her life. She loved spending that quality time with you and wanted nothing more than to fly home and snuggle up with you in your bed and watch movies.

The only downside was your cancer wasn't getting any better. Natasha shivered, and not from the cold water, as she stepped out. You got worse every day put still put on a brave smile for her and gave life your all.

She glanced at her phone when a new notification popped, the message an unknown number. No one had her number aside from you, her family, and the avengers. Hesitantly she opened the message, giving it a once over. She read it again. And again. And a fourth time before dropping to her knees, a sob building in her throat.

We are sorry to inform you Ms. L/N has unfortunately passed away due to stage 5 breast cancer.

While part of her was touched that she was your emergency contact the information broke her. You were gone. You were gone and she wasn't there for you. Natasha promised she wasn't going to do as much superhero stuff, spend time with you instead, and the one time she was gone you died.

Natasha cupped her hand over her mouth when she got another message pop up, this one from a Yelena's phone.

This is Ana, a widow Yelena was planning to free. She got blipped.

The sob nearly tore it's way out of her throat as she blinked back tears. This is why she wasn't supposed to care. She wasn't supposed to love. She wasn't supposed to feel. But Natasha Romanoff learned to feel and care and love and it had broke her.

Natalia Romanova may not have cried, but Natasha Romanoff did and she had just lost nearly everyone that mattered.

[xxspringmelodyxx]

That Girl’s A Liar~

Satoru Gojo x F!Reader

Here is part III! I hope you all enjoy<333 Part I Part II

The school bell rang, signaling the end of the day. I headed towards the library, where Kai and I had planned to meet up and go over his strategy to ask Amai out. My mind was still buzzing with thoughts of Toru and the missed chance to talk to him earlier. It had been such a strange, disheartening day. For the first time since we became friends, Toru and I hadn’t exchanged a single word.

We never even crossed paths, our schedules seemingly conspiring to keep us apart. That or we were just too busy with school work to talk. It felt as if a crucial part of my day was missing, leaving an empty void that gnawed at me. The absence of our connection cast a shadow over everything, making the day feel unusually long and painfully lonely.

Entering the library, I spotted Kai at a table near the back, surrounded by books and notes. He looked up and waved me over with a relieved smile.

“Hey, Y/N!” Kai greeted me. “Thanks for coming. I really need your help with this science project, and… you know, the other thing.”

“Of course,” I replied, setting my bag down and pulling out my notebook. “Let’s get started.”

As we began reviewing the material, I noticed Toru entering the library. He paused at the entrance, his eyes scanning the room. When he saw me and Kai sitting close together, his expression shifted. Instead of approaching, he decided to observe from a distance, his curiosity and jealousy piqued.

“So…do you think Amai likes coffee or tea better? I’m thinking about asking her if she’d like to get something with me sometime this week…or maybe next week.” Kai asked, glancing at his notes to mask the question.

I leaned in, whispering back, “Probably tea. She seems like a tea person.”

Kai chuckled, shaking his head. “You think so? What makes you so sure?”

I gasped dramatically, placing a hand over my heart in an exaggerated manner. “You doubt my finely honed abilities to discern whether someone prefers coffee or tea? That is blasphemous!” I declared with mock seriousness, a playful glint in my eyes. “My skills in beverage detection are unparalleled. I can read the subtle signs and nuances of a person’s taste preferences with unmatched precision.”

Kai laughed, leaning back in his chair. "Alright, alright, I believe you. I just want to make sure I do this right. I don’t want to mess up any opportunities given to me."

I smiled reassuringly, leaning in a bit closer. "You won't mess this up, Kai. Just be yourself and show genuine interest in her. Trust me, Amai will appreciate the effort and sincerity. And remember, you've got me in your corner to help you out."

Kai's expression softened, his nervousness giving way to a grateful smile. "Thanks, Y/N. That means a lot. I guess I just need to relax and take it one step at a time."

I nodded, feeling a surge of warmth from our friendship. "Exactly. And who knows, maybe this will be the start of something really great for you."

Toru found a spot behind a bookshelf where he could watch us without being seen. He noticed the way Kai leaned in close, and how I responded with a smile and a laugh. His grip on his bag tightened as he tried to make sense of our interaction.

We both giggled at our own seriousness, finding some levity in the situation. Toru, catching the intimate nature of our conversation but not the details, felt his jealousy deepen. He struggled to maintain his composure as he watched us from the shadows.

“What the hell could he be saying to make you smile like that?” He thought

Kai nudged me, his voice low. “Do you think Amai likes science fiction? I’m thinking of recommending a book.”

I leaned in closer, whispering, “Yeah, I think she does. She mentioned something about liking scientific settings in our last class. Maybe you should talk with her about what her favorite book is or something amongst those lines.”

Toru’s eyes narrowed as he watched us, feeling a pang of jealousy. The way we were huddled together, whispering and laughing, was unsettling for him. What was going on between you two?

Kai looked at me with a mixture of hope and nervousness. “Do you think it’s too soon to ask Amai about her favorite books?”

I shook my head, smiling reassuringly. "Not at all. In fact, asking about her favorite books is a great way to show you’re interested in her likes and dislikes. It will make her feel appreciated."

Kai’s face lit up with relief. "Right. You’re right… I just… I don’t want her to think I’m some sort of creep."

I laughed, rubbing my hand on his shoulder, trying my best to reassure him. "For asking her about her favorite book? Kai, I think you’re being too hard on yourself. You aren’t going to sound like a creep as long as you don’t ask too many personal questions. Just keep it simple!"

Kai nodded, a smile spreading across his face. "Okay, got it. Keep it simple and genuine."

I patted his shoulder encouragingly. "Exactly. You're going to do great, Kai. Like I said, just be yourself and let the conversation flow naturally. Amai will see the real you, and that's what matters most."

He took a deep breath, seeming more at ease. "Thanks, Y/N. I really appreciate your help. I don’t know what I’d do without you."

I grinned, feeling the bond of our friendship strengthen. "Anytime, Kai. I'm always here for you. Now, let's get back to this science project and make sure we ace it."

As you two continued discussing both the science project and Kai’s plans for Amai, Aksana entered the library. She spotted Toru almost immediately and saw him staring at you. With a determined look, she walked straight over to him, her books clutched to her chest.

Toru continued to watch you and Kai, his frustration growing as he struggled to understand your guys’ interaction. Just then, Aksana appeared beside him, noticing his distraction.

"Hey, Toru, can you help me with my homework again? I’m really struggling to understand it," Aksana said, effectively blocking his view of me and Kai.

Toru hesitated, his gaze lingering on me for a moment longer. He wanted to focus on our interaction, to understand what was going on between us.

"Uh... sorry, Aksana, but I am actually—" he began, trying to excuse himself.

"Oh, please, Toru? I really need you!" she begged, sitting down next to him and effectively blocking his view of me and Kai.

He felt a surge of annoyance but forced a polite smile, trying to be nice despite his reluctance. "Alright, Aksana. What do you need help with?" he asked, though his thoughts were still preoccupied with me and Kai.

I glanced over, catching a glimpse of Toru and Aksana together. My chest tightened as I saw them, their heads close together as they worked on her assignment. The way his arm grazed against hers, the way his eyes looked at hers—it all made my stomach churn with an unfamiliar pang of jealousy.

Kai noticed my distraction and gently nudged me. “You okay, Y/N?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied, forcing a smile. “Let’s get back to work.”

We continued studying, but I couldn’t help stealing glances at Toru and Aksana. Every time I looked over, they seemed more engrossed in their conversation, making my heart sink a little further.

The image of them laughing together left a bitter taste in my mouth. The day that had started with a missed connection now felt even more complicated and heavy.

I glanced over again, catching a moment where Aksana playfully nudged Toru. He smiled politely, but there was something distant in his eyes, a flicker of the tension I knew he was trying to hide. Yet, the way they interacted still made my heart clench with jealousy.

Kai’s voice pulled me back to our conversation. “So, when do you think is the best time to ask Amai about her interests? I don’t want to come off too strong.”

“Maybe start with something light,” I suggested, trying to keep my focus. “Talk about school, then gradually bring up hobbies and books. It will feel more natural that way.”

Kai nodded, absorbing my advice. We continued to work, but my mind kept drifting. I noticed that Toru would occasionally glance my way, his expression unreadable. Each time our eyes almost met, Aksana would say something to draw his attention back to her.

Eventually, Kai suggested a break. “Hey, Y/N, why don’t we take a break and go to the café down the street? My treat for all the help you’ve been to me.” Toru’s expression darkened as he overheard Kai’s suggestion. The mention of our usual spot hit him hard. He watched as I hesitated, torn between helping Kai and the implications it might have for Toru. Maybe it would be for the best. It would help keep my mind off of him and Aksana.

“Sure, Kai. Thanks,” I finally said, trying to keep my tone neutral.

Kai beamed, completely oblivious to the tension. “Great! Let’s go.”

We packed up our things and headed out, leaving Toru and Aksana behind. Toru watched you both leave, his hand breaking his pencil in half from the jealousy and frustration he felt.

*****

I stirred my tea with my straw, struggling to drink it as I was lost in thought. My mind kept drifting back to Toru and Aksana, and the unsettling feelings it stirred within me. Kai took notice of my distraction and leaned in, concern etched on his face.

“What’s up, Y/N? You seem really out of it,” Kai asked gently.

“Oh, it’s nothing, Kai. Really,” I replied, trying to brush off my feelings with a weak smile.

“Come on, I know self-deception better than anyone. Now, what’s going on?” he pressed, his tone sincere and encouraging.

I sighed, putting down my straw and looking up at Kai. His eyes were filled with genuine concern, and I knew I couldn’t hide my feelings any longer. “It’s just… seeing Toru with Aksana today. It made me realize how much I miss talking to him. We didn’t even get to see each other at all today, and it felt so… empty.”

Kai nodded thoughtfully, a hint of realization dawning in his eyes. “Do you… like him?” he asked, a small smile making its way to his face as he saw me look away from him.

I felt my cheeks heat up, and I avoided his gaze, fiddling with my straw. “I… I don’t know, Kai,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Oh, so you do like him!” he yelled, his eyes lighting up at the news.

“Will you keep it down, Kai?! The whole world doesn’t need to know!” I exclaimed, placing my hands over his mouth to muffle his excitement. My heart raced at the thought of anyone else overhearing our conversation.

Kai laughed, gently moving my hands away. “Alright, alright, I’ll keep it quiet. But wow, Y/N, this is big! No wonder you seemed so distracted today.”

I sighed, my shoulders slumping as I looked down at my untouched tea. “Yeah, it’s a lot. But just looking at him makes me feel so happy. His smile, his voice, his eyes…even his dumb jokes and antics make my heart flutter.

Kai laughed, making me look up at him.

”Why don’t you tell him?”

”I tried! But every time I try to, its like the universe always seems to find a way to stop it from happening.” I explained.

”Not only that… but stupid Aksana keeps butting in, so I can never get any time alone with him,” I finished, frustration evident in my voice.

As Kai was about to say something, he noticed the weather changing. The clouds began to circle around in the sky, making him look down at me with concern.

“Uh… Y/N?” he asked, pointing towards the outside.

I turned and rolled my eyes, realizing what was happening. “Damnit. Sorry,” I said, quickly taking a deep breath to regain control. Within a few seconds, the clouds disappeared and the sun began to shine once more.

Kai watched in awe, his expression a mix of surprise and admiration. “Wow, you really do have a unique and powerful cursed technique. I forget sometimes.”

I shrugged, feeling a bit embarrassed. “Yeah, it tends to react to my emotions. It’s something I’ve been trying to control better. But now Im seeing that I need to work harder on that…especially if something like this is getting to me.”

“Don’t feel bad about it. Love is a powerful thing. It can make even the strongest of people lose control.” He said, making me ponder.

”Listen, thank you for the tea, Kai. It was so sweet of you…but I better get going. I have some things I need to sleep on tonight. How about we meet tomorrow during lunch and we can go over the plan some more and you can finally get some interaction with her.” I said, quickly leaving the cafe, not giving him any time to respond.

As I stepped outside, the fresh air helped clear my mind. I walked all the way back to my home, my thoughts swirling with everything that had happened. Once inside, I went straight to my room and face-planted into the bed, letting out a long, frustrated sigh.

As I lay there, the events of the day replayed in my mind. Every missed chance to talk to him, every moment he spent with Aksana instead of me—it all seemed to point to one conclusion. What if the universe was trying to tell me something? What if Toru and I were never meant to be more than friends?

I shook my head, trying to push those thoughts away. I couldn’t give up so easily. I needed to talk to Toru, to clear the air and find out how he really felt. But the fear of rejection, of ruining our friendship, weighed heavily on my heart.

Rolling onto my back, I stared up at the ceiling, Why did things have to be so complicated? All I wanted was to be close to Toru, to share everything with him, to hear his voice….I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing thoughts. “Get a grip, Y/N,” I muttered to myself.

I don’t know whats going to happen to us in the future…but I do know that I am going to make sure I get alone time with Toru tomorrow…no matter what. I need to see him…and just him. With that resolve in mind, I closed my eyes and tried to drift off to sleep.

—With Satoru—

“I don’t know what the fuck to do, Suguru! It’s like he’s completely replaced me!” Satoru exclaimed, running his hand through his hair in frustration. The usually composed and confident young man was now a bundle of nerves, his eyes reflecting the turmoil he felt inside.

Suguru leaned against the wall, arms crossed, watching his friend with a mixture of concern and sympathy. “Calm down, Satoru. Tell me what’s going on.”

Satoru sighed, pacing the room. “It’s Y/N. I’ve barely gotten to spend time with her, if any at all. She’s too preoccupied with that boy Kai. It’s like she doesn’t even notice me anymore. And seeing them together... it hurts, Suguru. It fucking hurts.” The words tumbled out of him in a rush, each one laced with the raw pain of unrequited love and the sting of jealousy.

Suguru nodded, understanding the depth of his friend’s anguish. He had witnessed the way Satoru looked at you, talked about you, even thought about you. He knew how much you meant to him. “Okay, first, you need to try and relax man-“

”How can you say that? You know how I feel about her. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about her. I miss her so much…I love her so much.” He started, looking down at his bandaged arm where you helped him. The memory of your gentle touch and kind words only made the pain sharper.

”i just…I thought maybe she might’ve felt the same for me.” He said, his voice breaking in defeat. Suguru lifted himself off the wall and walked towards his best friend, placing a hand on his shoulder.

”Listen man, I get it. I know how much you love her, and maybe it feels like she’s slipping away. But I feel like all of this is just a big misunderstanding. Maybe there’s something going on between those two that you don’t know of.”

”Like what? Like them dating? Do you think they are dating?” Satoru interrupted, his eyes widening in fear at the realization. The mere thought of you being with someone else made his heart ache with a pain he couldn’t bear.

”What? No! I'm just saying that maybe there is more to the story than you think. You need to talk to her. You need to finally let her know how you feel. Maybe then…all will be revealed.” He suggested. To be honest, Suguru wasn’t sure what you were doing either. He could’ve sworn you were absolutely head over heels for Satoru just as much as he was for you…did he interpret your feelings wrong? Could it be true that you moved on from his best friend to another boy?

“It’s not that simple,” Satoru replied, his voice tinged with desperation. “Every time I get close, something or someone gets in the way. Trust me, I want to tell her! I want to be with her so bad, to just hear her beautiful voice, see her beautiful smile… but instead, I end up seeing her with Kai...and hes the one getting all of those things that I want. it’s like a knife to the heart.”

Suguru placed a reassuring hand on Satoru’s shoulder. “Then make her see it. Show her what she’s missing.”

Satoru's eyes lit up with an idea. “You’re right. Maybe if she sees me with someone else, she’ll realize what she’s missing. Maybe I need to make her jealous.”

Suguru’s eyes widened in alarm. “No, that’s not what I meant! I was trying to say that you need to be honest with her, not play games.”

But Satoru, being himself, was already forming a plan in his head. “Thanks, Suguru! You’re a genius. I’ll show her that I can move on too. Maybe then she’ll realize how much she misses me.”

“Satoru, you fucking idiot, wait—” Suguru began, but it was too late. Satoru was already heading out the door, determined to put his plan into action.

Ignoring Suguru’s protests, Satoru sought out Aksana. If making Y/N jealous was the way to get her attention, then he would go all in.

*****

It didn’t take too long before Satoru found Aksana. There she was, in the library, engrossed in a book.

“Aksana, hey,” Satoru said, putting on his most charming smile.

Aksana looked up, surprised. “Oh, hi, Satoru. What’s up?”

“Do you want to hang out? Maybe grab a coffee or something?” Satoru asked, trying to sound casual.

Aksana’s face held a sinister smirk. Had all the work she put into getting close to Satoru finally paid off? “Sure, I’d love to,” she replied, her voice dripping with satisfaction as she sensed an opportunity unfolding before her.

As they walked out together, Satoru couldn’t help but glance around, hoping Y/N would see them. Suguru’s words echoed in his mind, but he pushed them aside. This had to work. Y/N had to realize what she was missing.

Meanwhile, Suguru watched from a distance, shaking his head. “This is going to backfire spectacularly,” he muttered to himself. He could only hope that Satoru would come to his senses before it was too late.

”What the hell is he doing?” Shoko asked, showing up out of nowhere. Suguru looked down at her and shook his head.

”Something he's going to regret.”

—With you—

Well…your plan to get alone time with Toru plan went to shit. Weeks had passed, and you hadn't had a single opportunity to be alone with Toru. Each time you attempted to get close, someone inevitably interrupted—most often Aksana. It was almost as if she had a sixth sense for when you wanted to speak with him because she was perpetually by his side. The way she clung to him made it appear as though he were her boyfriend, the two of them always in close physical proximity. People around you even started saying how cute of a couple they would be.

If you wanted to talk to him before class, it was too late—Aksana had already walked with him to school before you even had a chance. Trying to catch him during lunch was futile because Aksana had preemptively whisked him away to a nice place to eat. Attempting to speak to him after school was equally hopeless since she was already monopolizing his time, ostensibly to get help with her “homework.” It was driving your emotions into turmoil, and consequently, the weather seemed to mirror your inner state.

Days that were forecasted to be sunny turned out to be rainy, and days that were supposed to be mildly windy saw unexpectedly strong gusts. There were even some days that would have a mix of both snow and rain. All because of you. Shoko, Kai, and Suguru quickly noticed the change in you and attempted to reach out, but you were so consumed by your own emotions that you began to shut them out. The frustration and longing were driving you to the brink of insanity, and you could feel your sanity slipping away with each passing day.

What made matters worse was that you started to notice how much closer Toru and Aksana were getting. Almost too close. You still remember the day you were in the lunchroom with Kai, preparing him to go talk to Amai, only to see Toru and Aksana leaving the school premises together. They were laughing with one another, their heads close as they shared a private joke. The sight made your heart ache, a deep, painful throb that you couldn’t ignore.

Kai, noticed your sudden silence, and he followed your gaze. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked, his voice tinged with concern.

You tore your eyes away from the scene, forcing a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you lied, the words tasting bitter in your mouth. “Just lost in thought.”

Kai gave you a skeptical look but didn’t press further. “Well, if you need to talk, you know I’m here for you, right?”You nodded, appreciating his support but feeling helpless. “Thanks, Kai. I appreciate it.”

As the days passed, the growing closeness between Toru and Aksana became increasingly difficult to ignore. They seemed inseparable, and every time you saw them together, it felt like a dagger twisting in your heart. You felt a mix of emotions—hurt, jealousy, and a strange sense of betrayal. Why was Satoru spending time with Aksana? Had you misread the situation all along? Did Satoru really not feel the same about you as you did about him? The thought was almost too painful to bear. You could’ve sworn he…you thought he…well maybe…maybe he just didn’t love you after all….

*****

The following day, you decided to go to the cafeteria to grab something quick to eat. You and Kai were close to being done with the science project, and he and Amai were becoming closer and closer each day. He managed to build up enough courage to take her out to eat, so you were left alone. Now, you had some time all to yourself to just relax. It was a rare moment, but it meant that you got to actually sit with Shoko, Suguru, and Satoru.

As you made your way, the cafeteria’s usual cacophony of voices and clattering dishes seemed to fade into the background. You spotted Shoko and Suguru sitting together, but no sign of Toru. You went over to the table Shoko and Suguru were at, and forced a smile, trying to shake off the sense of dread that had been gnawing at you. As you sat down, you heard Toru’s voice from afar. Your eyes involuntarily drifted to the direction of his voice and found Toru and Aksana entering the lunchroom, talking amongst themselves about something random.

They were standing close, their heads almost touching as they shared a private joke, their laughter mingling with the ambient noise but somehow standing out painfully to your ears. The sight made your stomach churn with jealousy and hurt, a physical manifestation of the emotional turmoil that had become all too familiar.

Every giggle from Aksana and every smile from Toru felt like a dagger to your heart. The way they seemed so at ease with each other, so effortlessly close, was unbearable. You had always cherished the moments when Toru smiled at you like that, but now those moments seemed to be slipping away, replaced by this growing bond between him and Aksana. It was a bitter pill to swallow, seeing someone else enjoy what you longed for so deeply.

Suguru, sitting across from you, noticed your pained expression and turned to look at Toru and Aksana. He scoffed in disgust, completely in disbelief at what his best friend was doing. “Unbelievable,” he muttered under his breath, shaking his head in frustration. He couldn’t fathom how Toru could be so oblivious to your feelings, so wrapped up in his plan to make you jealous that he didn’t notice the hurt he was causing you.

Shoko, on the other hand, looked like she was ready to strangle both Toru and Aksana. Her eyes narrowed in anger as she watched them, her fists clenched tightly on the table. “This has to stop,” she whispered to Suguru fiercely, her voice barely containing her rage. She had seen the toll this situation was taking on you and it infuriated her to see her friend in such pain.

Both Suguru and Shoko had witnessed your frustration and heartbreak over the past few weeks. They had seen the light dim in your eyes and the smile that no longer reached your lips. It pained them to see you like this, to see someone they cared about suffering in silence. They exchanged a look, silently agreeing that something needed to be done to end this misery.

“Hey, Y/N,” Shoko said, her voice softer now as she turned her attention to you. “Are you okay?” Her eyes were filled with concern, and you could tell she was genuinely worried about you.

You forced a smile, trying to mask the turmoil inside. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you lied, though your voice betrayed your true feelings. The lump in your throat made it hard to speak, and you could feel the tears threatening to spill over, but you fought to keep them at bay.

Suguru leaned forward, his expression serious and earnest. “You don’t have to put up with this, you know. We’re here for you,” he said, his tone comforting yet firm. He wanted you to know that you weren’t alone, that you had friends who cared about you and wanted to help.

And you were grateful. Truly. But the emotions were overwhelming, and you couldn’t bear to delve into them any further. You sighed deeply and placed your head in your hands, trying to steady your breathing. “Can we not talk about this… please?” you asked, your voice cracking under the weight of your emotions. The sight of Toru and Aksana together was like a constant reminder of what you couldn’t have, and it was tearing you apart. You just needed a break. A break from it all.

“Of course...” Shoko replied softly, her worry for you still evident in her eyes. She exchanged a glance with Suguru, both of them silently agreeing to shift the conversation away from the topic that was causing you so much pain.

“Well, how about we talk about training then?” Suguru suggested, his tone lightening in an attempt to lift the mood. “I heard Sensei Yaga is having all of us go out later today for a practice exam on our form to see where we are at.”

Your eyes widened in surprise and mild panic. Was that today? Just when you thought you might get a break, now you were bombarded with the realization that you had to use your abilities to get a good grade. The stress of everything was beginning to weigh heavily on you, and the thought of the upcoming practice exam only added to your anxiety.

“Great,” you muttered, your voice tinged with sarcasm. “Just when I thought I could relax, now I have to worry about my form and performance.” You ran a hand through your hair, feeling the tension building up inside you.

Suguru gave you a sympathetic smile. “I know it’s a lot, but maybe it’ll be a good distraction. Focusing on training could help take your mind off things for a bit.”

“Yeah, and you’re really good,” Shoko added, her tone encouraging. “You always impress Sensei Yaga. Just think of it as another chance to show what you can do.”

You nodded, appreciating their attempts to cheer you up. “I guess you’re right. It’s just… everything feels so overwhelming right now. I’ll try to focus on the training and give it my best shot.”

As the conversation shifted to the details of the practice exam and various training techniques, you found yourself gradually relaxing. It wasn’t a complete escape from your thoughts about Toru and Aksana, but it was a temporary reprieve. For now, you could channel your energy into preparing for the exam and proving your skills.

The laughter and chatter of the cafeteria buzzed around you, blending into the background as you listened to Shoko and Suguru discuss strategies and tips. You took a deep breath, letting their words wash over you, and tried to find some semblance of peace in the midst of the chaos that had become your life.

Just then, your phone buzzed with a new message. Glancing at the screen, you saw it was from Kai. His words caught your attention right away.

“Meet me before our practice exam today. I’m going to finally ask Amai out… and to the dance… but I want to practice what I’m going to say. I need you to pretend to be her,” he wrote.

Despite the whirlwind of emotions you were feeling, a small smile grew on your face. At least someone in your life was going to have a good ending… hopefully. The idea of helping Kai with his romantic plans provided a glimmer of positivity in your otherwise turbulent day. It was a reminder that not everything was bleak and that happiness was still possible for those around you.

You quickly replied, typing out a response with a renewed sense of purpose. “Sure, I’ll meet you in our science class. We can practice there,” you texted back, feeling a bit lighter.

“Y/n…we need to tell you something. It’s about Satoru and what he’s been doing. Just please be ready to-“ Suguru started before being cut off by your voice.

“Hey guys, it was wonderful talking to you both… but something just came up and I gotta go. I’ll see you guys later today!” you said, not hearing a word they were saying before getting up and leaving, trying to muster the enthusiasm you no longer felt.

As you walked away, Toru’s eyes followed you, noticing the small smile on your face that barely masked your true feelings. His heart began to race with anticipation, a flicker of hope igniting within him. Were you finally going to come to him? Were you going to hug him and let him hear your voice that he had been longing for? He missed the way you used to laugh, the way you used to share everything with him.

Just as you made it a few feet away from him, your eyes locked with his, making both of you pause. For a brief moment, the world seemed to stand still, and all the noise of the cafeteria faded into the background. His heart pounded in his chest, a flicker of hope igniting within him. This was the moment he had been waiting for, the moment he had dreamed about during the countless sleepless nights. He wanted to reach out to you, to bridge the painful gap that had grown between you.

However, before he could make a move, you averted your eyes and walked in the opposite direction, directly ignoring him. He felt his heart shatter right then and there from your actions. The small glimmer of hope that had sparked in his heart was extinguished in an instant. Every step you took away from him felt like a crushing blow, each one more painful than the last. The rejection was a raw, agonizing wound that left him reeling.

“Y/n…” He muttered under his breath.

—————

Part IV coming soon!

Taglist: @goreedo11

[mrchiipchrome]

27 with haley raso

FIRST FIC OF AUSSIE WEEK, there's a prompt list linked in my masterlist if your want to request :)

prompt 27. -So, can I call you tonight?

--------------

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Motherfucker. Putain. Merde. Mierda.

The hot coffee stains the gray hoodie covering your upper body, burning your skin like hot coal. The next sensation’s the freezing cold of an iced coffee, your body in the ultimate whiplash.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry” The girl’s Australian accent gives you your second whiplash of the day, not used to Aussies in Spain, especially not very attractive and very off limits ones.

It’s not like you don’t know exactly who she is. When you’re a sports commentator working with women’s football, you have to know all the players. It’s non-negotiable.

“It’s fine” Her hands are still pressing into your torso, having landed there when she bumped into you. The wet material of your shirt sticks to your body uncomfortably, a cooling effect on your reddening skin.

“No, I’m so sorry. Let me help you get that stain out” The Real Madrid player gives you no choice as she leads you towards the bathroom of the establishment. Her hands push you forward by your hips, looking around you so as to not make you run into anyone else.

When she locks the door behind you after you’ve both entered the bathroom, you can’t help but cross your arms across your chest.

“So, do you have an undershirt or not?” The brunette walks over to you with confident steps, her fingers grasping at the hem of your shirt.

“Uhm, no?” You cough out, breath caught in your throat at the breathtaking girl’s proximity.

“Let’s just hope you’re not shy then, take your shirt off” The girl fixes you with an intense look, almost challenging you.

“Take a girl out for dinner first, ey?” Your voice is muffled by the shirt going over your head as you strip for the stranger. When it’s finally off your head, you hand it to the unusually attractive girl.

You feel her eyes running over your upper body as she runs the hoodie under cold water, arms soon crossed over your chest.

“So are you in Madrid for long?” She questions, trying to fill the awkward silence that’s appeared between you two.

“No, I’m only in town until tomorrow. Work stuff.” You look on as the girl nods back at you, clearly distracted.

“Well the stain should disappear within a couple of hours, that’s the Hayley guarantee.” She winks at you playfully as she hands the now drenched hoodie back to you, watching as you contemplate on whether to put it back on or not. “Oh I forgot, here take my hoodie. It was my fault after all.” 

She puts the much too small zip up in your hands, forcing you to take it. And yet you can’t find it in you to protest, the sight of her rippling biceps enough to win you over. 

Hayley watches as you put it on, the sleeves riding up your arms adorably. 

“That’s adorable” You look up from where your eyes are fixated on the too short sleeves. The deer in headlights look makes the younger girl chuckle a little, leaning up closer to you.

You’re already pretty much leaning against the sink, so when the Australian puts her hands on either side of your body, you’re trapped. Not that you’re complaining.

“Can I kiss you?” The question came out of nowhere, and yet you couldn’t help but nod, the girl way out of your league. She was surprisingly comfortable with a complete stranger.

She shifts her hands from the marble of the sink to your waist, warm hands slipping under the hoodie and settling on your cool skin. Your hands settle on cupping her face gently, the girl’s baby hairs getting caught on your fingers.

When her lips meet yours it feels like everything suddenly makes sense, as if all that’s happened before in your life didn’t matter. Your gray hoodie lays discarded on the other side of the sink, still drenched.

Soft thumbs rub circles on your skin, the kiss heating up significantly, teeth clashing and tongues battling for dominance.

It was nice, well until the voice of reason in your head took over. You were kissing a football player, a Madrid one nonetheless.

Pulling away from her lips, there’s a string of saliva connecting the two of you. 

“Uhm, I have to go!” You rush out, fiddling with the lock on the way out. It was mean to just leave her there, and stupid of you not to get her number, but your brain was overwhelmed by thoughts. The main one being, holy shit Hayley Raso is a fantastic kisser.

———————-

“El Clásico, one of the most feared rivals up against each other. Y/n how’s the feeling down on the pitch?” One of the usual commentators asking you the usual questions before the game.

“It’s good, both teams have warmed up and are ready to take on their rivals. Real have signed some real talents in…Raso but we can’t forget the decked out midfield that Barcelona have with the likes of Bonmatí and Putellas. I think we have an exciting match coming.” When the audio cuts back over to the studio, you’re already downing half your water. Raso, the only one you had to avoid.

You were right, the match was one of the most exciting games you’d ever watched. Harsh tackles, yellow cards flying left and right, goals being scored one after another.

It eventually ends with Barcelona coming out on top for the umpteenth time, but this time it was closer than ever. A controversial offsides call had given the visiting club the upper hand, giving them the win.

And to your misfortune, the one person you didn’t wanna see was the one you had to interview.

“Hayley Raso, you did good today, but how would you describe your performance?” You can see the smirk appearing on her face, but in her eyes that are unusually easy to read, is shock.

“Well, I think I performed as best as I could. There’s not much more to say really.” Her eyes bore deeply into your own, and for your sake, you look away from the beautiful sight.

“There you all have it, nothing more to say so back to you Michelle.” 

You start to walk away from the winger, but that is until her fingers grasp around your wrist.

“You’re a reporter?”

“Yeah, something like that. Our…interaction wasn’t long enough to get into the deep stuff.” You speak in a hushed tone, careful not to let people understand what you’re talking about.

“Mhm, it was nice though. Could I offer you that coffee I made you spill earlier? And more importantly, can I call you tonight?” Confident as always, the ribbon wearing girl asks you the questions boldly.

“You know what? I’d love to take you up on that offer.” The pen that sits in your pocket makes an appearance, you taking Hayley’s arm into your grip, writing your number carefully on her skin.

“There you go, call me whenever.” 

“You forgot your hoodie earlier!” 

“Keep it!”

Who would have thought that a simple coffee run would result in you getting a girlfriend?

[whiskeyghoul]

8 || She blinded me with science || [Spencer Reid x Goth!Reader]

First part, previous part, next part

A/N: Oh we are so back. This is mostly just angst, including the return of Tommy. Not a lot of Spencer in this one but the next one is going to be from his perspective. I really needed just a little angst in this fic again. I hope to be writing part 9 soon since I am in a bit of a writers block for this fanfic. But then again I really love writing for it too.

WC: 3,1 K

Tags: Spencer Reid, kidnapping, toxic exes, not proof read, we die like men, angst, hurt comfort but the comfort comes later.

Warnings: Kidnapping, mental instability, stalking, drugging

Your POV

You had watched Spencer leave into a room, a sigh leaving your lips as he closed the door behind him. Returning to the lab to finish your work felt a little tiresome. You wanted to spend more time with Spencer. Time that was so rudely cut short with a case. It was to be expected, but that didn't mean you had to like it. So, begrudgingly, you made your way to the lab. Getting in to wait for another process to finish, while polishing off the final remnants of your sandwich. Looking around the desk you saw the different reports that needed organizing. It was messy, and chaotic. Sometimes you would lose a document for a few moments before panicking and frantically looking through all the papers you had. That had to change. Now was as good a time as any.

While organizing your papers alphabetically your eyes landed on Spencer's purple scarf slung over the back of the desk chair. Running a hand over the fabric. It was soft, incredibly so even. A few worn edges added character, showing how well loved the scarf had been over the years. Picking it up you put it up to your nose, inhaling the warm scent that was so completely Spencer. It was a comforting scent. The smell of sweet coffee, cologne, and that signature scent of his apartment you had smelled while you were there. Feeling a little creepy about smelling his clothes you quickly put it down after folding it into a small bundle. Placing it on the edge of your desk to not forget.

Going back to your desk you noticed something was just a little off. You remember that the coffee cup from that morning was missing. It wasn’t unusual for garbage to be removed by cleaning staff. Just not usually during your shift. Oftentimes they would come in at the end of the day, when you would have put all dangerous substances away so no one would accidentally spill anything. There were measures in place to keep everyone safe. So why was your cup missing?

No. There was no need to be skeptical about something as simple as this. You must have thrown it away subconsciously before you left to get lunch. That was the logical explanation to this. So you shook off the uncomfortable feeling. There was no more reason to be suspicious of the small things. You were a bit scatterbrained at times, so it was only normal for you to forget something as small as this. Especially since your mind had been on Spencer for most of the day. Having made up had left you on cloud nine. When he had come in that morning it just made you realize how sweet he is, how forgiving of your flaws that you were so critical of. You never expected him to forgive you when you had hurt him quite badly. So it was like a dream that he did. And that had left you just a little preoccupied. Misplacing or misremembering something wasn’t that far of a stretch. 

The beep of the analyser got your attention. Walking over you hit the printer button, out came a print out of all the chemical components detected in the white powder. Giving it a quick once over to have a look at the majority of substance, it was always tainted along the way. Sometimes by the general use and existence of the material, sometimes by the less than careful collection of whatever they wanted to be analyzed. Taking a look it seemed to have been ecstasy, tainted by a few wayward chemicals. Nothing that would cause death but still, it could lead to a possible suspect. Moving back to the desk you looked around for the designated case folder.

It wasn’t there. You looked between the ones you just moved. Maybe you left it between the older files. Alphabetical order was the easiest after all. Managing to do it nearly on autopilot you might have just stacked it in the finished pile. So, you picked them up, thumbing through the different manilla folders starting with the same letter. Nope… must have looked over it. You tried again, making sure that you saw each and every single one. Still, it wasn’t there. Okay, maybe you did leave it in the pile on your desk. Your pulse quickened as you looked through the files but still, not the one you needed. The cleaners know not to take these. This is when you started to panic just a little. Moving between your desk and other tables in the lab, checking every file cabinet in there for the one you needed. Still there was no sign of it. Fuck.

Your phone rang. Snapping your head up you scrambled from a pile of files you had been rummaging through. Spencer’s caller ID lit up the screen. Picking up you quickly pinned the phone between your cheek and shoulder, “Hey, pretty boy, what’s up?” you asked, a little breathless, while going back to the papers to try and find what you were looking for. “Hey. We just got to the local station and I wanted to call. I felt bad about having to leave without really saying goodbye.” You noted how Spencer’s voice sounded a little hushed, how the background noise was muffled. “That’s okay. I am glad you called though. I like hearing your voice.” You said while continuously shuffling papers. “Are you busy? I could call back another time.” He asked, probably hearing the papers. “No, no!” You said before readjusting the phone to your other ear. “I just.. I lost the file I was working on. I must have misplaced it so I am a bit stressed looking for it.” Admitting to your fault. “Oh, I would have helped if I could.” Spencer said before you heard Morgan’s voice in the back, calling out to Spencer jokingly. “It’s okay, hearing your voice makes me feel a bit better.” You responded with a hint of shyness. It was easier to admit these things over the phone than to his face. 

“I really wanted to hear from you too.” Spencer said before a whispered, “Morgan! stop!” Which made you laugh. “How does the case look? Will it be a long one?” You asked, trying to keep the conversation going, hoping to hear him speak more. His voice eases any worry in your mind. Like a placating balm to smooth over any uncomfortability. “Actually, it seems like it might be easier than expected. Though I don’t want to jinx it and then have to be stuck here for the foreseeable future.” he answered. “Better knock on wood then.” You added to his sentence, really hoping he would be back sooner rather than later. “I will, once I get to the desk. I really have to go though, because Morgan is being annoying.” he said, a bit remorseful. “I’ll text you soon. Maybe call later tonight?” You asked and heard a mh-hm from the other side of the line. “Okay.. Bye, talk to you soon.” “Bye.”

When you hung up it really settled in you weren’t going to find this file you were looking for. Which meant there would be a ton more paperwork, a new file, which meant over time. So you made your way down to whoever could help you with this file, explaining the situation you got a new version along with an entire packet of paperwork to fill in to ‘officially’ request a copy of the file. Getting back to the lab you sat down, ready to start the tedious task of correctly filling in everything.

It was late when you finished. Almost dark outside the clock indicating it was 7:30 p.m. At least your paperwork was finished. With a sigh you closed it. Stretching back your arms with a groan. Sitting hunched never did wonders for your body. A growl from your stomach signaled it was really time to get going. As you packed your bag you thought about the leftover pasta bolognese you had in your fridge, just how good it sounded right about now. With the paperwork in hand you left the lab, locking up behind you and heading down. Spencer´s purple scarf was loosely wrapped around your neck. Leaving the filled in forms in the designated inbox of the higherup who needed to officially grant your request. Everything was always so bureaucratic. You texted Spencer you were finally leaving Quantico, getting a ‘But isn’t it almost 8?’ back from him. You chuckled, ‘Couldn’t find the file I talked about, so had to get a replacement, you know how much paperwork that takes.’ you texted back nuzzling your nose into the soft fabric of his scarf. Inhaling the smell, feeling a little better with it around you, like he was there to joke about the file, say it was okay.

Saying goodbye to the security guard before you headed to the parking garage, your car was one of 5 left on the floor. When you got in and turned the key in the ignition it ticked but never caught on. You sighed, of fucking course this was to happen now. You already had a stressful day, this was just the cherry on top. You slammed your hands against the wheel quickly before taking the key out, popping the hood, and stepping out. You opened the hood, seeing your car battery disconnected, your heart sank. This is weird.

Panic rose like bile in your throat. Your heartbeat raced as your hands trembled. Everything inside of you told you to run. Yet your feet were nailed in place. Rooted to the ground, unable to move. Not wanting to look up in case something, or someone was close by. From the corner of your eye, however, you saw movement. A black clad figure moving closer. You gripped the strap of your bag, a trembling hand moving into the pocket of your jacket. Taking the key in a firm grip, in case of emergency it could be used as a weapon. But it was of no use, when the figure got close you turned with the key in hand. Raising your right hand to hit the figure, to embed the tip of your key into any soft tissue you could reach, but your wrist was caught in a quick movement. Your eyes widened as you recognized the face that stood in front of you.

Tommy.

You gasped his name out while trying to wring your hand out of his grip. “I’m sorry.” He managed to say before you felt a pinch in your left arm. Confusion, panic, fear, those emotions washed over you as you realized what just happened. He had drugged you. You could feel the way your arm grew heavy, along with your breathing labored. Trying not to panic because that would just make everything work faster. You still struggled against his hold but he had you pinned against your car. There was nowhere to run to. You just prayed the security cameras were picking up what was happening. Tommy wasn't that smart to shut down the cameras too, you hoped. “You’re not sorry.” your voice sounds slurred. It became more difficult to keep your eyes open, to keep standing straight. “I just can’t lose you.” He almost sounded apologetic as his arm moved to keep you upright. “Fuck you.” Was the last thing you managed before your eyes betrayed you. Darkness took over, and your body went limp in the arms of your worst enemy. 

Blinking rapidly didn’t seem to do anything. Vision still black you felt your hands were tied behind your back. There was a sore spot on the left one. The way you had been sat had your head tilted forward and your neck was now incredibly stiff. You were on a chair for sure. Blindfolded and tied up. You tried to stay calm, to not let your emotions take over. But your heartbeat was fast, loud in your ears, it made it hard to focus. You didn’t know how long it had been but it must have been some time. Your phone was no longer in your pocket, at least you didn’t feel it. The scarf around your neck was gone, Spencer’s scarf. Panic over took you again. Breathing picking up in short, quick bursts. “Don’t panic, please. You always overreacted.” Tommy’s voice sounded out. Your head shot up, craning around, trying to locate where he was. “Me? Overreacting? Tommy, you kidnapped me!” You said exasperated, while your hands were straining against the rope that had your wrist stuck to the chair. “Well you wouldn’t have come with me if I asked.” You groaned at that answer, clearly your wishes to never see him again weren’t clear enough of a hint. “Because you hurt me! I never wanted to see you again.” You raised your voice, trying to not yell but you were frustrated, scared, panicked.

“Just… ugh! You aren’t even listening to what I want to say!” Tommy sounded frustrated. Suddenly his hands grabbed your shoulders, he had been closer than you thought. His grip an iron vice as your body stiffened. Breath caught in your throat. “Okay. Okay. I’m listening. That’s what you wanted, right? So say what you need to say.” You said, trying to calm down. Logically you knew you shouldn’t be indulging him. But you knew that egging him on would make things worse. He was explosive, angry, that’s what happened every time. “Right. I need you to listen. Because, I have been thinking.” Tommy started, his hands still holding onto your shoulders. You could feel the breath on your skin, it was humid. Like a wolf looming over its prey, panting out to finally have caught dinner. “I think. You shouldn’t be with that guy. He is a twig, I could be so much better. We could work things out if you gave me a try. You are going to give it a try.” He sounded almost out of breath as he spoke. As he tried to get his thoughts in order. “I have given it a try, but it didn't work. Tommy, you haven’t changed. At all. So why would it work now?” You answered, it wasn’t what he wanted to hear but it was important for him to hear it. Your emotions flipping like a switch, wanting to placate him and then wanting to tell the truth, to egg him on. The heartbeat under your skin felt like a drum against your ribs. Hammering a constant rhythm of anxiety. “No, I have changed. You just didn’t give me a chance to show it. Going on and on about how I have been stalking you. I haven’t! I have changed and you are going to let me show it to you.” His grip tightened before he let go. You could hear his feet, pacing around, probably with his hands in his hair. Like he did when he was frustrated with you. He always did.

“You can’t keep me here. The FBI will come looking when I don’t show up tomorrow.” You strained your wrists, trying to feel if there was a knot you could loosen. But it felt like zip tie cuffs. Plasticy, hard and digging painfully. “You called in sick with a really bad stomach bug. It will take at least a week.” He swallowed after his answer, walking a few steps away to rummage through something. With the blind fold on you could see a little strip of light as you looked down, though it was relatively dark probably due there being no windows. No he wouldn’t be stupid enough to keep you somewhere with windows. It would be too big a risk, and he did not seem like he wanted to lose you. In your mind you hoped he hadn’t texted Spencer, hoping that he’d try to call you later tonight like you had agreed upon. If you didn’t answer he would probably figure something was wrong. If he did text him something you prayed it was so out of character that it wouldn’t go unnoticed.

“Right… and after that week?” You asked, hoping to keep him talking, keeping him talking would keep him from hurting you. That seemed most logical at least. “You will see how good I am to you. You won’t want to leave anymore.” Tommy said, “And if you don’t I’ll just tell them a family member died, request a leave of absence.” He continued and the rummaging stopped. Your heart dropped, not knowing what to expect at that moment. It could be something to hurt you with, something to shut you up, no matter what you did there was going to be something. More footsteps. It kept your heart rate up that was for sure. Something clamped around your ankle, cold, metal. Thick and heavy, the weight pressed down on your foot. “You can move around like this. Can’t make you love me again when you’re stuck to a chair.” He almost chuckled at that. The sound made your stomach feel heavy. Like he didn’t seem to care about your wellbeing. Blood running cold at that. Like a polar stream running through your body. “Move around?” Your voice sounded strained. Throat closed and breathing tight.

He stepped around you, you could feel the air shift as he moved. Stepping to the back his hands were on your wrists. “Yes. You have to promise you won’t try to hurt me. Otherwise you’re right back in this chair again.” Now that was something you didn’t want. Being stuck in place, physically unable to move, it was the worst choice. When released at least you could move around. Get a feel of the place. Find a way out. “Right… I promise.” You said it slowly, deliberately. Each word out of your mouth needs to be thought out from now. Using words to placate. Fight, flight, freeze or fawn. And with Tommy, fawn seemed to be your best option. Keeping him friendly would give you time. 

Your hands were released from their cuffs, the blind fold removed from your eyes. Blinking rapidly to adjust to the dim light of the room. You were sitting in a wooden chair, you had figured as much. There were no windows, 2 doors, one on your left and one right in front of you. The carpet on the floor was a weird  green color that looked like it had been stained one too many times by something unknown. There was a small living room area, two couches with a coffee table. A kitchenette on the opposite wall. Turning your head you saw a dining room table. It was like you were in a weirdly small studio apartment. Everything was there to live. You glanced down, your right leg sporting a metal cuff, a chain going off to the wall. “Welcome home.” Tommy said it almost triumphantly, proud of his work.

It hit you like a ton of bricks. Tommy was going to keep you here as a forced housewife. And you just prayed Spencer would realize what was going on quickly.

Tags:

@luvkatryna @emma-e-a @littlemadamred @cultish-corner @styleiconsize0 @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @depressedbutartsy @mikariell95 @jasf444

@tootsiefootsie @ill-be-okay-soon-enough @sammy-4103 @thedevioussmirk @pleasantwitchgarden @khxna   @suckstobrlaurie @mega-kittyglitter-1 @superlegend216 @seninjakitey

[enmie]

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ Living ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ -pt.3: Yuuji

➶ jjk's Yuuji Itadori and his denied jealously and love for you; he's convinced he loves you more

➶ late night talks with Yuuji makes him realize a lot of things 【 fluff? 】

➶ cw: cussing (mild.) fem reader

𓅪 excuse Yuuji he's just a bit sleepy :'//

𓅪 I'll let you decide if you wanna date him

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

Nights like these were treasured greatly. Late nights, talking and all. It was weekly. Yuuji never really grew up with such a family, that he thinks you're a great addition to his life. To the point where it even begins to get romantic, but you never seem to notice.

Because here you are, proving that very fact. On and on, babbling all about Megumi and shit he said. That's his best friend, yeah, but he doesn't want him to have you. He wants you to be a complete addition to his life, because for him, you're the only way to live.

"And, get this, he said I was cute." You remark, sitting on the bed while hugging a plushie. Yuuji holds an eye roll back, and he simply sips on his boba tea. It isn't that you're gushing, you just think it's unusual of the stoic boy.

"I mean, he doesn't do that, does he?" With a sigh, you pick up your coffee. Late night coffee. "He's your best friend, you should know."

"...Is that really what he told you?" Yuuji asks, shifting uncomfortably at the thought of you getting asked out (by Megumi at that.) Little did he know you deem it platonic. Yet he was jealous.

"Uh-huh! Aren't you glad?" He thinks for a moment. He wants to support you, but really, his own tongue betrays him and he swears it's Sukuna.

"... Now that I think of it," He sighs, "no." You flinch and whine.

"What if I call you cute instead?"

The outward suggestion made his stomach ache a lot. Butterflies, Yuuji thought, this is what they called butterflies. "I mean, how would you react?" You giggle at his question. The pink-haired boy was rarely jealous or even upset at these kind of things. Yet here he was, making hypothetical questions.

The coffee slips through your fingers as you gently put it down on the bed. Those hands Yuuji adores so much. So so much. "I guess I'd thank you. You're nice, Yuuji. Megumi is sooo much meaner than you are." Before you knew it, you were rambling. And just like that—

"Shit!"

He exclaims when your coffee spills on your bed, getting all over the newly changed sheets and some on his pants, some on yours, and some on that long hair of yours. He's nearly convinced the Megumi talk tipped the plastic cup over to spill. Overly determined to make you think he's so much better than his best friend, he stands up to grab tissues. You blink with shock. This boy... was wiping the mess off of someone else's bed!

You burst into laughter, standing up as well to get new sheets from the closet.

This has happened before.

"You don't need to clean for me," You nudge Yuuji's side. A pout forms on his face when you gently push him away to take off the dirty sheets. He seriously thinks he's able to help through all of this, and he wants to prove that.

So his hand almost automatically reaches for the old sheets, carrying them to the hamper to throw them in the little washing queue you had. "So..."

Yuuji clears his throat. "Am I boyfriend material yet?"

You burst out laughing again. Even the shake of your shoulders, your wide open mouth releasing sounds of joy, he finds it endearing. Nothing but adoration fills his gaze. "Keep convincing yourself, buddy." Oh. But he was serious about that. Maybe he shouldn't keep hoping for you to take him like a real person.

"Will do so," He says with a salute. Fighting unseriousness with unseriousness. If that was all he was good at, so be it; immaturity for life.

And of course you press him about it. "It sounds so ridiculous. How about if I ask? Am I girlfriend material yet?" You repeat his in a goofy voice. Yuuji scoffs. But... he finds himself muttering under his breath, eyes down at the floor as you neatly put the new covers on your bed.

"... Yeah."

"What?"

You look over at him, thinking he said some snarky comment. And that's what he covers it up as.

"I said keep convincing yourself, bitch...!" He makes up on the spot. You give him another playful nudge, a chuckle escaping your lips. Oh, those lips. "Since when did you start swearing?"

He shrugs. "Oh, I don't know. Well... you like it when Megumi swears." Just like that; you deny it. He denies it, too, the undying yearning he has for your love.

ⒺⓃⓂⒾⒺᛌⓈ fanfic

[pastanest]

Spencer Reid x she/her!reader

A/N: never thought I’d see the day where I wrote for Spencer Reid again, but this mf has been livin it up rent free fr

False Alarm

It had started as nothing more than a one-off joke between yourself and Derek Morgan. Or rather, a joke made by Derek Morgan in which you were the punchline. You had only been part of the team for around 3 months, but you had gelled with each and every member so well that none could remember what their dynamic had been like prior to you, save for the only member of the team that struggled to forget almost anything. Everyone was comfortable with you, so comfortable in fact that when the team happened to be in the office for a fire alarm test, Derek Morgan took it upon himself to sprint straight for you, near enough tackle you, fling you over his shoulder and bolt out of the building with you in a fireman’s lift, everyone laughing at the silliness of it while you playfully smacked his back. 

It had been intended as just a one-off, you were certain of it, but apparently, it was simply too funny to Derek for him to not incorporate the ridiculous gesture into any and every situation possible. It didn’t matter who was around, if you were within arm’s reach and the team had to go to another room, he would swing you over his shoulder and take you there. It was all in good fun, despite the mock-anger that you gave him whenever he did pick you up, and the team had become so used to the act that they all but rolled their eyes with fond smiles when it occurred on cue. Everyone, you noticed, save for the only member of the team that didn’t seem to understand the humour behind the joke, who was - by no coincidence - your absolute favourite person in the entire world. 

“Does it bother you, when Derek…picks you up?” Doctor Spencer Reid had essentially materialized at your side three days ago as you prepared your morning coffee, so desperate for an answer to his question that he had not been able to prioritize greeting you first.

This was unusual, particularly for him when in conversation with you, given the fondness you share for each other and his dutiful care to always treat you with the utmost politeness. No matter the case, the time of day or how either of you are feeling, the gentleness with which you have always spoken to each other is never forgotten.

“Uh, no, not at all, why?” You returned the question, touched by his concern for your feelings but confused by the cause for such concern.

Ever since your first day, Spencer has had a soft spot for you that was blindingly obvious to absolutely everyone, except for you. To you, that was simply the way he was; you were not to know he treated other women around his age any differently, so you were completely unaware of just how highly he regarded you. There were so many instances where he had shown you, so obviously, how much he cared for you, but neither of you dared address a single one. Not the flight home from your first case, when you had been the quietest you had been all day and he had sat beside you on the jet, watching as silent, slow tears rolled down your cheeks and despite his usual total opposition to physical contact of such a degree, he found himself placing a blanket over the two of you and taking the opportunity to offer his hand beneath the soft fabric, which you took without a word. Not the one time you had called in sick and the moment the team landed home from that case without you, Spencer arrived at your door with a bouquet of flowers, every flavor of soup he could find, and several different types of medicine to relieve you of your symptoms. Not the countless times he had reminded you of things you had forgotten, or every little thing he had prioritized in remembering about you - not that he needed to prioritize anything when it came to his memory - to surprise you with little gifts and trivia about the things he knew you loved. While you never seemed to stop thanking him for the person he was, the two of you found it far too terrifying to ever address what his gestures could mean. 

Spencer shrugged, avoiding your eyes and fixing his gaze on the coffee machine. “No reason.”

At that, you had smiled, turning to face him to profile him as best you could. “Doctor Reid, I don’t think you’ve ever done or said anything for ‘no reason’ in all your life.”

Spencer couldn’t hide the small smile that appeared on his face at your words, the kindness that you never failed to radiate in every conversation with him. “I was just…worried that, perhaps, while everyone had enjoyed the joke, nobody had asked whether you were okay with it, that was all.”

You held his gaze, both bringing your mugs of coffee to your lips in unison and chuckling lightly at the synchronized motion. “Thank you, Spencer, that’s very kind. I don’t mind it at all, honestly, it’s quite nice to be picked up - as long as I trust the person that’s doing it, you’ll hear no complaints from me!”

Spencer seemed to carefully consider this and elected to answer with no more than a nod and a thoughtful smile, before taking his leave and returning to his desk. Leaving you in the bewildered, dazed wake of the wonder, the enigma that is Doctor Spencer Reid.

In the days that have passed since, you have been playing that conversation over and over in your head, trying to piece together what was going on in the mind of your favorite genius. Though you felt you had spent the majority of your time doing that since joining the team, having been so fascinated by the curious person he was and the seemingly impossible things he knew, the past three days have particularly plagued you. It hasn’t helped that on several occasions, you have caught him glancing over at you with the same smile on his face he had given you by the coffee machine. Every time you’ve caught him, he’s been quick to look away from you, but that same smile has lingered and grown while he’s busied himself with something else, mind clearly still occupied by whatever he thinks when he looks over at you. It has been maddening, in all honesty.

Strolling into the office, you are greeted by the sight of the very genius that has been living rent free in your brain since the day you met, standing at your desk. The bright smile that takes over your face is instinctual and the one he returns to you is the same, the invisible tether that binds you to each other tugging at the distance between you until you reach your desk to start digging through your bag. 

“Good morning Spencer, everything alright?” You ask, too sincerely pleased by the sight of him to be at all concerned by him seemingly waiting for you at your desk before you’ve even arrived for the day.

 “Good morning (Y/N)! Everything is perfectly alright, thank you, why do you ask?” He fires the question back at you, excitement too obvious in his tone to not raise your suspicions.

This is exacerbated by the expressions on the faces of the rest of the team as they file into the office, their conversations abruptly silencing as they stop in the doorway, all of them watching your interaction with eager eyes.

Looking between them and Spencer, you frown in confusion. “What’s going on?”

If you were to compare the genius to any fictional character in this moment, you would be unable to choose any other than the Cheshire Cat, with the grin he’s sporting. “Going on? Nothing is ‘going on’, as far as I’m aware. I do have a question for you, though, now that you mention it.”

Dropping your bag on your desk, you turn to face him, giving him your full attention. “Okay, go ahead.”

You have never seen Spencer Reid quite so giddy in your life. “Do you trust me?”

Blinking rapidly up at him, your frown returns. “Of course, with my life, why wouldn’t I?”

Spencer smiles down at you, glancing over your shoulder at the team. “I had really hoped that would be your answer.” He gives them a thumbs up. “Morgan?”

Following his gaze, you watch Derek chuckle. “All yours, kid.” With that, he strolls over to the fire alarm and hits it, hard. 

As the alarm blares, you hurry to hold your ears with your hands, but it seems someone else has plans for you being in their own hands. Before you have time to process what exactly is going on, Doctor Spencer Reid has swung you up in his arms, not in a fireman’s lift, but bridal style. Completely disorientated, you struggle to catch up with what is unfolding around you, all the while Spencer starts carrying you out of the building, the rest of the team laughing and holding the doors open for you as you pass through them. 

Finally finding the confidence to look up at Spencer’s face, you are not at all prepared for the look in his eyes, already waiting for yours to meet his. 

“You..orchestrated a fire drill?” You manage to say as the two of you exit the building into the parking lot, free of the deafening alarm at last.

Without placing you down on the ground, Spencer Reid stares into your eyes with the softest smile you have ever seen. “For the chance to hold you, it was the easiest thing in the world to arrange.”

Seeing stars with a bewildered grin plastered on your face, you call out. “Derek?”

From somewhere behind Spencer, your friend and colleague replies. “What’s up, lovebirds?”

Without breaking eye contact, you call over Spencer’s shoulder. 

“With regret, in the event of an actual fire or any reason for a lift to be required, you are fired from the position of first in line and will, please, find Doctor Spencer Reid as quickly as possible to do the job.”

[em-prentiss]

Hey! Would you be willing to write a fanfic with a Beth storyline where Hotch and Beth are in a relationship and Emily doesn’t know how to deal with her feelings for Hotch and he eventually finds out that Em is in love with him and their relationship going forward?

Or do you have any fic recommendations with this storyline!

I love your fics by the way! 🩷

Hi🩷 I personally don’t have any fic recs for this prompt, I’ve honestly never read one for this premise but I hope you like this <3 and thank you so much!

I love you, it’s ruining my life

————

Emily swallows tightly. Her head automatically snaps up at the sound of Aaron’s laugh, her eyes sliding to him and Beth on the dance floor. Her head is tucked into his neck, the dark waves of her hair brushing the gauzy material of her shawl.

Deliriously, Emily thinks from the right angle, she could almost be her.

Word count: 5.6k

————

She swore she would tell him. Aching and cold and bruised on a flight to Paris, tears soaking her skin as the jet rattled her, Emily swore that if she ever saw Aaron again, she’d tell him.

And she wanted to. She was going to.

But then something curdled in the pit of her stomach, something that made her wring her hands as she stood in front of him in his office, the two of them alone for the first time in seven months.

He was solid, steady. She knew that. She also knew she couldn’t handle massively fucking things up again and driving him away with a confession, because what if he didn’t like her that way? Standing there, in his empty office with no one there but him and her, she became acutely aware that he was her boss above everything else.

Saying she loved him would just ruin everything for everyone. Again. 

So she’d just whispered, “I missed you,” instead, hoping he took her jitteriness for her unusual, innocent admission. And when he wrapped her up in a hug, so tight she briefly felt herself whole again, the jagged pieces of her slotting together for the first time in seven months, she’d had to bite her tongue to keep the words down.

He’d attempted to draw her back into the routine they once had, having dinner at his place at least once a week, but she found it harder to stay quiet the more she was alone with him. So Emily kept her distance, turned down his invitations until he stopped asking altogether. He’s still there, she knows he is, but he’s leaving it to her to go to him.

She’s not sure if she hates him for that or not.

While she was drowning in the wake of her destruction and slowly trying to piece herself together again, he’d found someone.

The first time catches her by surprise. For some reason she never thought he’d do it, or that it would progress this quickly. The Beth she’d heard was helping him train bounds over to him as they’re discussing breakfast, throwing an arm around his neck and pressing her lips to his sweaty cheek.

The tips of his ears quickly grow red as her tinkling voice washes over them, singing him praises with a voice sweet as a bird’s.

“Beth,” Aaron says as he wraps an arm around her waist. Emily’s eyes drop to his large palm. “I’d like you to meet my son Jack.” Jack waves cheerfully. “And my team.”

Nothing registers in her head as introductions are exchanged. Emily doesn’t see Morgan and Rossi’s exchanged smirks or the way Aaron’s gaze drops to her for a fleeting second. She barely remembers to lift her hand in a weak wave, grateful for her large sunglasses and the excuse of a hangover visibly clinging to her form, making itself known in her casual leggings and still blown out hair.

Unthinkingly, her eyes comb over Beth, cataloging the dark waves of her hair and the startling blue of her eyes, trying desperately to find the reason why. The lack of blonde hair is notable, though her bubbliness and bright ocean blues are less than surprising.

Nausea churns in her stomach, sloshing around with leftover alcohol and the bitter coffee she’d downed in JJ’s kitchen. She hears the word breakfast and decides to excuse herself before the contents of her stomach splash on the grass.

****

Emily watches them twirl around on the dance floor, Beth’s dark hair catching the fairy lights. Aaron laughs, his hand engulfing hers, and Emily tips her drink back in one go.

Penelope watches her watch them—him—her eyes dropping to Emily’s tight grip on the glass. They had a huge victory yesterday; their best friend is getting married, but with Emily’s lip between her teeth, her brows drawn over her eyes, she looks pained. 

Penelope inhales a sharp breath. She’s not a profiler, but some things don’t need profiling. She looks around the table, making sure they’re alone, before she lets the thought spill free. “You love him,” she says quietly. It’s not a question.

Emily’s breath hitches. She’s quiet, but then she laughs. It’s bitter, catching on the sharp edges of her ribs as it leaves her body. “Yeah,” she whispers, because there’s no point in lying. It’s written clearly on her face, in the downward tilt of her lips as she looks after his retreating form, unable to disguise it anymore.

She can feel Penelope’s surprise beside her, her quiet disbelief. Emily doesn’t blame her; it’d come unexpectedly for her, too. Someone finally knows—though she suspects all of them have at least some sort of idea—and Emily’s lungs feel fit to burst from the silence. It’s a secret locked in the depths of her soul, but she’s tired of keeping secrets. 

“After Foyet…” She begins, then trails off. It’s one thing she’s never shared, something she always kept close to her chest, tucked safely inside her heart. The nights Aaron would call her over so she could coax Jack to bed, the days after where they would share a quiet look of acknowledgment and nothing else.

Emily wets her lips, swallows against her dry throat. “I was over a lot,” she says simply, trying to keep as much to herself as possible. Penelope stays quiet, holding her breath as she watches Emily, her head down as she messes with her already ragged cuticles.

A lot is an understatement. She’d spent more nights than she can count in the Hotchner household, first just to check in, then selfishly, because she wanted to. She found an unexpected comfort in them, and they found solace in her company. Distantly, she hears Jack’s familiar laugh as Reid flips some playing cards and she closes her eyes, finding a hidden memory in the darkness.

“Daddy?” Jack sniffles as he comes into view, his pajamas rumpled and his hair mussed from sleep. Tear tracks shine on his cheeks and Aaron’s leaning forward to reach for him before Jack’s bare feet cross the carpet. 

Jack’s wet eyes find her then. “Emmy?” He absently rubs at his cheek as he walks to her. He holds out his hands and Emily picks him up before he reaches the edge of the couch, settling him on her lap and hugging his small body to hers.

“What’s wrong, Jack-Jack?” She whispers as she rubs his back, her eyes meeting Aaron’s concerned gaze. 

“Bad dream.” Jack hiccups. He grabs her shirt in a small fist and hides his face in her neck, his tears dampening her skin.

Aaron leans close to them both, his hand joining Emily’s on his son’s back. “Do you want to tell us about it, buddy?” His voice is coaxing, but Emily hears the buzzing of anxiety lining his words.

Jack shakes his head. His mussed hair tickles Emily’s cheek as she exchanges another look with Aaron, his eyes so full of concern she inexplicably wants to wrap her arm around him, too. She clears her throat instead, “Well, your dad and I were just about to watch a movie, do you want to watch it with us?” She soothingly runs her fingers through Jack’s hair, feeling his breathing start to slow beneath her palm.

He nods into her neck. Emily lightly kisses his forehead, her eyes accidentally meeting Aaron’s again. She suddenly realizes the tips of their fingers are touching. He smiles at her, an upward tilt to his lips that warms her heart almost as much as the child in her arms.

“Any suggestions?” She murmurs softly to Jack. Her eyes flit to Aaron’s once more and she smiles as he mouths Cars.

“Cars,” Jack’s small voice confirms a beat later. Aaron smiles and gets up to turn the movie on as Jack yawns. He stretches his small legs over her lap, his soft cheek pressing against hers. “Your hair is gone.” He notices.

Emily laughs lightly. “Some of it, yeah,” she murmurs, continuing to rub circles on his back. “Do you like it?”

She feels him nod against her neck. He runs his hand through it seconds later, the soft strands slipping between his fingers.

“Pretty.” He mumbles, his eyes drooping closed before the movie even starts. Emily grins and adjusts her hold on him, fitting her arm around his small body to secure him on her lap.

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

Emily takes a slow breath and feels it rattle around in her lungs. She blinks away the memory. “I don’t know how it happened, but I realized it when I was gone.” 

From the moment she stepped on the jet with JJ, actually. The fear had gripped her, the pit in her stomach widening as she realized she wanted to stay home, wanted to stay with Aaron and her team and never leave. The revelation followed the hot tears rolling down her cheeks in the tight bathroom, Emily’s face in her hands as she sat down on the closed toilet seat, too tired to lift her own body up for too long.

I love him, the thought echoed in her head, finally clear from the drugs but aching from the force of her constant tears. I love him and I may never see him again.

And now it’s too late.

Emily swallows tightly. Her head automatically snaps up at the sound of Aaron’s laugh, her eyes sliding to him and Beth on the dance floor. Her head is tucked into his neck, the dark waves of her hair brushing the gauzy material of her shawl.

Deliriously, Emily thinks from the right angle, she could almost be her.

The throbbing in her heart heightens to sharp stabs and Emily sucks in a breath. She turned down Clyde’s offer but now, looking at them, she wonders if she should’ve taken it.

Wonders if he’d take her back.

****

Something’s different. And yeah, it’d be safe to assume it’s the trauma, but it only started recently. She avoids him, turns down his invitations even when he softly mentions Jack, hoping the mention of his son would coax her back into his apartment. But she’s steadfast—albeit polite—and he can only watch from a distance as she works on repairing her bonds with the others, cautiously bringing offerings of peace and extending olive branches that have long since been accepted.

In his heart, Aaron knows why she’s distant; she hates him. For sending her away and burying her empty casket in the ground. She hates him because he ordered JJ to lie, because he allowed her closest friends to go months thinking she was dead. Because he couldn’t catch Doyle when he was right there, forcing her to change her name and heal in hiding as the ghost disappeared once more.

She hates him, but at least she’s alive. He can live with that.

His heart still aches. She’s so close, within touch, really, but they’ve never been further apart. He remembers the few times she’d called him Aaron, the soft touch of her fingertips on his wrist to tell him everything will be okay. Her light jokes and easy smiles are a thing of the past, something he sees only in his memories these days. She’s constantly on alert, the lines of her body perpetually tensed, and he just wants to reach out, place a hand on her shoulder and tell her breathe, relax, no one’s coming after you anymore. 

He misses her, but he doesn’t dare push any harder, already achingly aware of her skittishness, her habit of running when the walls close in. 

This week is particularly bad. She’s pale, dark circles pressed firmly under her eyes and her nails bitten to the quick. He notices she substitutes coffee for herbal teas and stares into the distance when no one talks to her, lost to her thoughts as her eyes grow unfocused. When they’re in the car, on the way to the ME, he can’t stay quiet.

“Emily.” He ventures cautiously. She immediately tenses, her muscles stiffening before she can stop them, because once she’s Emily she knows whatever they’re discussing isn’t work.

She keeps her eyes on her case file. “Yeah, Hotch?” 

He chances a quick look at her and finds her hair shielding her like a curtain, the case file gripped between her fingers. Aaron looks back at the road, her tense shoulders not escaping his attention.

“I’ve noticed you were…” What? Distant, avoidant? Not looking him in the eye except for when he barks out orders? Aaron clears his throat. “Withdrawn, lately.”

He feels her hot gaze on him then. “Is it affecting my performance?” She asks, curt and to the point.

“What?” The question briefly takes him by surprise. “No, of course not. I’m just worried—”

Her phone rings loudly, interrupting him. Emily takes out her phone with shaking fingers, a small huff of air escaping her as she hurries to accept the call. “Yeah Morgan,” she answers.

Aaron doesn’t ask again after she hangs up, but her shoulders are still stiff, as if she’s afraid he will, afraid he’ll try to talk to her about something other than work. He tightens his hands on the wheel to stop himself from reaching out for her, the sinking feeling in his stomach growing stronger as the distance between them stretches and warps, making him feel like she’s a million miles away rather than right here.

****

Penelope keeps her arm firmly looped through Emily’s, as if scared she’ll bolt even though Emily has no means of going home without her. She smiles humorlessly as her friend’s grip tightens.

“I’m not leaving, Pen,” she says dryly, briefly hating herself for her moment of weakness at the wedding. Her stomach twists in anticipation but she swallows down her jitteriness, steels herself as they face Rossi’s door, “I’m already here, I might as well stay for the food.”

The door swings open and Emily’s grateful for her mother’s political training as she walks in, her eyes meeting Beth’s then Aaron’s. Her smile doesn’t waver even as her heart gets wrung by two invisible hands, the hitch in her breath concealed by Penelope’s bright greetings, Rossi’s warm calls of welcome.

“Emmy!” Jack bounds over to her. He’s wrapped around her middle before she can blink, and immediately she feels a real smile tug at her lips.

“Hi Jack-Jack.” She crouches down to hug him properly. His small arms wrap around her neck, his sandy hair tickling her cheek, and she feels a familiar warmth in her chest as she hugs him tight. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” he pulls back to pout at her. “Why don’t you come over anymore?” He frowns, the expression so like Aaron’s that she briefly feels her breath catch. 

Emily swallows, her throat suddenly dry at his innocent question. She’s acutely aware of everyone around her, listening even though they’re pretending not to. 

She smiles tightly, “Sorry, sweetheart, I’ve just been a little busy.” She lightly brushes the hair from his face to avoid his questioning gaze, the blonde slipping through her fingers a relief from the honey-like eyes he stole from his father. “I promise we can do something fun soon, yeah?”

His eyes light up. “Like the aquarium?”

Emily smiles, even as the prospect of seeing Aaron after work roils her stomach unpleasantly. “Sure honey. If your dad agrees.” She says and Jack nods vigorously, already well aware he has his father wrapped around his finger.

Dinner is a lively affair, with her seated between Penelope and Morgan, each of them just enough to distract her from the couple almost directly across from her. Emily eats her fill of mushroom risotto and steadfastly ignores Aaron, the steady stream of wine Dave keeps pouring eventually making her shoulders loosen. By the end of dinner it’s easy to ignore them, and as she settles onto the couch next to JJ, Jack slides in between them and leans into her side.

He nudges under her arm and she raises it to wrap around his shoulders. “Hey Jackers.” She can’t believe how much he’s grown in seven months, two of his teeth knocked out and already growing, his cheeks losing some of the baby fat she’d loved to pinch between her fingers. “Where’s Henry?”

She keeps her eyes fixed on him as he leans his head on her chest, trying to ignore the heat from the searing gazes of her friends. She can feel Aaron looking, can feel Beth’s eyes on her; questioning, envious.

“Don’t know. Wanna stay here,” Jack mumbles. He wraps his arm around her waist in a sideways hug, the material of her blouse grabbed loosely in his fist. Emily stifles a sigh into his hair. His small weight settles into her side as he relaxes fully, growing slowly heavier until she looks down and finds him asleep. 

Emily tries to listen to the conversations around her, her hand rubbing mindless circles on Jack’s back, but her attention is drawn from Morgan’s energetic storytelling when she hears Beth’s tinkling laugh.

Don’t look, she immediately tells herself. Her shoulders tense and she swallows. Don’t look, don’t look, do—

She looks. 

It’s slow, the noose that tightens around her heart. Almost gentle, soothing at first, wrapping around her heart snugly before it starts to tighten, tug, until she feels the sides of her heart tear open. Emily swears she can feel the blood trickling down it as Aaron smiles down at Beth, his dimples curved in his cheeks as he holds her hand, strokes his thumb over her skin.

Don’t look, she thinks again as Beth beams at him and tangles their fingers together, hers so pale and slender as they slot between his. There are gaps between them, gaps Emily knows her own calloused fingers would fill effortlessly. Because she felt the imprint of his fingers in the gentle press of his hand against her lower back, absently guiding her further into the jet. She knows how his hands look wrapped around a gun or holding a pen, knows that her palm would slide perfectly over his.

Emily lets out her shaky exhale into Jack’s hair, her arms unconsciously tightening around him. Her heart starts beating faster, blood spraying her ribcage when she hears the low murmur of Aaron’s voice, still so distinct in a room full of talking people. It’s like her ears know the vibration of it in the air. She picks it up, isolates it from the buzz around them, until it’s the only thing she can hear. It’s subconscious, something she does without feeling; his voice rattles around in her head, the same way it did when she was in Paris, telling her to hold on, promising he’ll get her back soon.

She can’t breathe.

Slowly unwrapping Jack from her, she gets up and gently lays his head down on a pillow in her place. Her legs carry her to the kitchen and she shakily pours herself a glass of water, the beat of her heart thudding in her ear. Her skin feels overly warm in contrast to the water she gulps down, trying to chase away the nausea roiling in her stomach at another one of Beth’s laughs.

Aaron isn’t that funny, she thinks bitterly. His humor consists of dry retorts and ridiculous dad jokes, often said in a tone so wry they rarely sound like jokes at all.

But perhaps things are different, when she’s his lover and not just his friend. 

She doesn’t hear the click of heels behind her, her eyes unfocused as she stares into nothing. “Hey Em, I’m getting a bit tired. Should we leave?”

Emily startles from her reverie, turning to find Penelope. She meets her friend’s gaze, wide and shining with poorly hidden concern, and feels a swirl of irritation and affection all at once.

It’s not pity, she tells herself as her throat closes up with something she tries to convince herself is anger. Penelope’s hand is tightly bunched in her dress, her brows furrowed as her eyes dart to Aaron and Beth again. Emily knows that look; the fierce protectiveness that shines through when Morgan messes around a little too roughly with Reid, or when she’s around and they get mistreated by local officers.

Emily’s shoulders slump. “Sure, Pen,” she says. They both ignore the slight hoarseness to her voice, the way it scrapes against the back of her throat. “I’m a little tired, too.” She gives her a small smile and sets the glass down on the counter, half full. 

Penelope’s face tightens at something behind her. Emily frowns, “Wh—?”

“Leaving already?” Aaron’s voice reaches her from behind. Emily briefly closes her eyes and takes a quick breath before turning around to face him, a tight smile on her face. 

“Yeah, we’re tired.” Her tone is brisk and she ignores the way his brows furrow slightly, clearly catching it. She turns to Penelope, “I won’t be long, I’ll just go grab my coat.”

“Actually you go start the car, the keys are in my purse. ” Penelope tells her, a too-tight smile on her own lips, “I’ll be right there.”

Emily gives her a confused frown but she nods, relief flooding her veins at being released from Aaron’s watchful gaze. She walks past him without a word.

He’s still looking after her as she leaves and the spark in Penelope’s blood turns to flame. Without really thinking of it, she places her hand on his back and pushes him to the library, ignoring the way he tenses suddenly, a surprised, “Garcia?”, leaving his lips. He doesn’t resist, though, and lets her lead him through Rossi’s hallways.

She’s fuming by the time she shoves him into the room and shuts the door. 

“What are we—”

“You can’t keep doing this to her.” She interrupts hotly, her head full of Emily’s tight smiles, her diminished light. She misses her cheerful best friend, and while logically she knows Aaron isn’t the only reason, he’s a damn big part of it. “Can’t you see how she feels? You’re flaunting it at every opportunity and you need to stop.” Her tone is cutting, but she can’t think to soften it.

Aaron frowns and his confusion makes the blood rush faster in her ears. Damn profilers. They’re so good at figuring out everyone except their own selves. He swallows and begins cautiously, “I don’t know who you’re—”

“Keep your girlfriend at home.” Penelope bites out. 

The furrow between his brows gives as it dawns on him. “Oh.” He breathes. His eyes widen as he processes the words, his tongue running over his lips. “Is this about Emily?”

“Yes, this is about Emily!” Penelope yells. Her voice echoes off the walls and she’s briefly glad she pulled him into the library. “Damn it Hotch, she loves you.”

He sucks in a breath and she does too, the words too late to take back now. A bitter taste floods her mouth and she snaps it shut too late. Penelope can almost see the words turning in his head, spinning, spinning as her stomach churns.

“Did she tell you that?” He croaks out. He looks pained, as if at any moment he’s expecting her to laugh and tell him it’s all a joke.

“God, she doesn’t have to!” Penelope shouts, her guilt evaporating in a burst of anger. “She loves you and you love her too, only instead of talking to her about it, you went and dated someone else.” She rattles off breathlessly, her skin itching.

She’s overstepping, she knows she is, and god, Emily would have her ass if she knew she’s going off on their boss, but the words spill out of her, blazing hot. For all his rigid decisions and clipped manner, she’s never felt any resentment toward him, even when he directed his rare anger to her. But this sets off a boiling rage in her gut.

Aaron swallows, his throat bobbing. His eyes are slightly widened and Penelope notices the way he runs his thumb over his index finger repeatedly. “She needs time,” he says slowly, clearly trying to convince himself of his own words when she cuts him off. “She’s just—”

“You don’t know what she needs. And you don’t get to make that decision for her.” With that she opens the door and leaves the library. She says her goodbyes and slams the door a little too forcefully when she gets into the car, making Emily jolt in her seat. Her breaths are loud as she starts the car, but the roar of the engine still doesn’t mask the sound.

Emily lets out a low sigh and digs her fingers into her thigh. “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me.” Her voice is low. Penelope opens her mouth but Emily shakes her head, cutting her off. “He’s dating her, fine. That’s none of my business,” she blows out a breath, ignoring the way it shakes. “He’s still my boss. And yours, too.”

Emily turns to her friend, her chest growing tighter at the sight of Penelope’s frown, the angered pinch of her mouth. God, why couldn’t she just keep her mouth shut? This is exactly why she hadn’t confessed to him in the first place; work and personal life don’t mix.

“He’s not doing anything wrong, so don’t punish him for it. It’s none of our business.” Her tone is final, leaving no room for argument.

Penelope shakes her head as she buckles her seatbelt and drives off. “It is if he’s shoving her in our faces,” she mutters lowly.

Emily doesn’t reply. She stays silent the whole drive, giving Penelope a small smile and a goodnight when she drops her off. Walking into her apartment and shutting the door behind her, she briefly hears nothing, a still silence that almost makes her tense, before the tinkling bell on Edith’s collar rings as she trots to Emily, her tail in the air.

“Hi.” The cat surprisingly pulls a laugh from her as she rubs against her ankles, looking up at her with a meow. Emily leans down and picks her up. “Nice to know I’ve been missed,” she presses a kiss to her furry forehead as she walks to her room, flipping on light switches as she goes. The dark unsettles her in ways it didn’t used to before, the smallest shadows sending chills up her spine.

Emily walks into her room and lets Edith go. She changes into satin pajamas—they usually make her feel at least a little bit better—and sits down at her dresser to take her makeup off, ignoring the welling tears in her eyes and pretending they rise from the aggressive press of her cotton pad against her eyeball. She wipes the stray tears along with the mascara and throws the blackened cotton into the trash, blowing out a huff as she swallows, trying to force the lump from her throat.

Edith jumps onto her lap, her paws pressing into the skin of her thigh. Emily wraps her arms around the clingy cat and hugs her like a baby. “I hate men.” She whispers miserably. She looks in the mirror and her eyes find Sergio on the bed. “Present company notwithstanding, of course.”

In the dead silence, the realization that she’s talking to her cats hits suddenly and violently. “Jesus,” Emily stands, Edith falling off her lap with a protesting meow, “what is my life?” She presses a palm into her eyes.

The doorbell rings, the sound echoing around the walls. She frowns as she walks to it, the tinkling bell telling her that her furry companion isn’t too far behind. Emily looks through the peephole and abruptly feels herself stop breathing. She swings the door open, too shocked to think about hiding her attire. 

“Hotch?” She questions, her voice choked and her brows raised. Her apartment is rarely visited, unlike his. “What are you doing here?”

He’s still dressed in the same clothes he wore at Rossi’s, only his hair is messier and hanging over his eyes, in a way she’s only ever seen in the comfort of his home. He takes a deep breath, his gaze briefly dropping to her bare legs before meeting hers again.

“I broke up with Beth.”

Her inhale is loud. 

Her eyes widen as the words echo in her head—the same ones she’d shamefully dreamt about, now spoken out loud, in his steady voice. Her limbs grow jittery, a weakness to her knees that makes it difficult to stay upright.

“So?” Emily crosses her arms, ignoring the frantic pounding of her heart against her ribcage. She tries to school herself into indifference, but her mask already slipped, and Aaron’s already seen it. Her eyes meet his—how long has it been since she’s done that?

He’s a blur of messed-up hair and desperate hands as he surges forward and kisses her. His palms are on her cheeks, his lips insistent, apologetic against hers. Emily can do nothing but respond, helplessly surrendering under the feel of his hands, pushing away the thoughts that they’d been tangled with Beth’s hours ago. 

Wordlessly, she can feel him begging, his hands tender as they wander to her hair, slip around her waist. Sorry, sorry, sorry, his lips seem to say as she finally lets herself fall into him. Aaron holds her, so tight she almost resents herself for waiting this long.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes against her lips, their heaving chests touching with each exhale. Her fingers are tangled in his shirt, his are winded in her hair, and his honey-brown eyes are so close she loses her breath all over again. 

“I’m so sorry, Emily.” His voice is a low murmur that he presses into her temple with a kiss. He lets go of her hair, squeezes her waist, and she exhales shakily, closing her eyes.

This is real, she tells herself. Her lips tingle, her body is overly heated from his own body heat. She feels the rise and fall of his chest beneath her hands as he kisses her face, so gently, as if she could break. Her breath hitches, his does too, and he’s so wonderfully real she wants to cry.

It takes an eternity before she catches her breath. “You’re an idiot.” 

“I know.” He answers immediately. Another kiss is pressed to her cheek, an apology, but she doesn’t want one.

Emily blows out a breath. “You hurt me.” She whispers.

Aaron’s face crumples. “I know. Fuck, I’m so sor—”

“Don’t do it again.” Her voice turns firm. I couldn’t take it if you did. It makes her pulse race, the way he’s got her heart in his hands.

“Never.” He vows. Against her will, her lips twitch. 

“I told you not to make promises you can’t keep.” She chides, her words escaping in a sigh as he kisses her cheekbone, the delicate skin next to her eye.

“Not breaking this one.” He murmurs. His warm hands circle her waist, his fingers digging the satin deeper into her skin.

Emily tips her head back, wanting to feel his lips on hers again. God, she’s dreamed of this. It kept her sane when she was in Paris, losing her mind with grief, her ears strained for any sound of the phone ringing. She’s too desperate to remember the throb in her heart just minutes ago, but after she kisses the air from his lungs, she’ll give him hell.

It seems Aaron’s been waiting, too. He gently backs her against the door, trapping her between the wood and his warm, large body. The weight of him sears her skin and she can’t get enough. Emily urges his hand on her waist and he just slips his hand under her camisole when he jumps back, startled.

She gives him a dazed look as he peers down at the floor. “Is this Sergio?” He asks, and she finally looks down. A calico cat is rubbing against his ankles, sweet black and brown spots joining together to make a heart next to her ear.

“No,” she breathes out a laugh, “Sergio’s in my room. This is Edith.” Emily bends down to pick her up, smiling at the cat as she starts purring. “She’s a cuddler.”

Aaron's smile is soft. The dimples she’d always wanted to be directed at her are finally here, dented into his cheeks. “You have horrible taste in names.” He runs a finger between Edith’s ears.

Emily’s brow arches. “You have some nerve to comment on my taste in anything, Aaron Hotchner.” She glares as he takes the cat out of her arms and gently drops her on the floor. He straightens and cups her face, stroking his thumb along her jaw; searching, memorizing. “My ‘horrible taste’ is what got us into this mess.” Her voice is strangely wobbly.

Aaron doesn’t seem to mind. “Say my name,” he murmurs, the tips of his fingers sliding into her hair, “please.” She so rarely did, and from the look on his face, she knows he’s desperate for it now.

Emily obliges, breathing it out slowly, her tongue smoothing over the letters, rising and cresting over the vowels. Aaron closes his eyes and kisses it off her lips.

“Again.” He says softly.

Emily’s lips curve. She loops her arms around his neck and says it again and again, each time cementing the idea that he’s hers, each tightening of his fingers on her waist cementing the fact that it’s real.

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