#until such time as i draft up new tags for person shit

[superdraconic]

hello my dear, dusty tumblr blog. twitter owned by em is awful to contemplate and i miss finding good shit and tagging it to revisit later. so ya hello, i’m coming back to tumblr to scope out the fandom scene.

go by super nowadays, retiring the name of rush. currently i’m into:

genshin: loves the concept of gods walking among us as well as elemental powers and the different nations. music is also v good.

mxtx: canon overt gays, with tons of fun tropes and drama and humor

2ha: absolutely feral for cwn’s sluttiness

fe3h: golden deer, yuri, sylvain, lysithea

sheith: sheith

and an assortment of other fandoms and aesthetics

i do still like homestuck

i’ve literally been tumblr blind for years, so if any of my old mutuals from years ago are still actively around, feel free to hmu and tell me how you’ve been. otherwise, hallo! what’s good.

[romanstheory]

Ride Slow a Bronco Nima One Shot

Warnings: Smut, Size Kink, Edging, Alcohol, Bronco x Fem OC

Word Count: 2,610

Person in the picture

"Respectfully Hunter, I'm not doing this match" Hands crossed tightly around my chest, my weight bearing on my right leg. "I told you I'm not doing another tag match and I meant that". The last tag match I was in I got abandoned and forced to compete in a handicapped match at NXT battleground. Hunter lets out a low sigh before rubbing his frown lines. "Look Lena that's understandable but this is what Creative has come up with for you. It's either this or nothing." Fuck. It's either this or nothing... this or nothing. My face curls into a frown before I finally respond "Who is my tag partner? Blair? Indi? Candice?" Not that it matters, whatever bitch he has me teaming with won't have my trust. Simply get it, destroy, and get out, I don't even want my hand raised at the end.

"Well creative is trying to mix things up around here... No pun intended. You'll team with Bronco Nima, they've got it planned out for a while since he split from OTM when the two of you got drafted to Smackdown from NXT." Hunter looks over his glasses at me "We're trying this all out to see how the crowd reacts. You two are total opposites so we figured it would be interesting." Bronco Nima... Even in NXT we didn't really speak. "We're your guinea pigs" A sarcastic huff leaves my lips before I shake my head slowly. "This or nothing Lena, just think about the opportunities this could bring. If this all goes well we could introduce a mixed tag title, of course, you and Bronco would automatically get a title shot." Hunter says resting his hands on his desk. An opportunity to make history makes this whole tag team thing more appealing.

"Some people are out in the ring rehearing and warming up, I heard Bronco is out there too. He already knows about the plans so I would go make a game plan with your new tag partner" He says before shuffling through a stack of papers on his desk. I nod and make my way to the empty arena. Voices echo through the deserted place. Superstars are littered around the ring, but only Bronco is inside. Rolling, running the ropes, shadow boxing. His 6'5 frame is striking even from a distance. I jump onto the ring, standing on the apron watching him. It's criminal how good he looks, sweat beading on his forehead, muscles pumped full of blood, a grimace across his face. I can just barely see over the top rope due to my 4'11 height.

Suddenly he stops what he's doing an that grimace turns into a smirk. "Can you even see over the ropes?" He chuckles. A swift eye-roll is my response to him. "You gonna come in or are you gonna fight with the ropes to get a good look?" His hands rest on his hips as his chest heaves up and down fighting to fill his lungs with air. Quickly I duck under the middle rope and get into the ring. "I'm guessing Hunter finally told you?" He says walking closer to me. With every step I feel smaller and smaller under the presence of..... him. "He did, and I'm not exactly happy about it but he mentioned a mixed tag title" Keeping my eyes on his feels like a full time fucking job at this point.

"Yeah, he said he knew you would give push back about it." He chuckles, that fucking chuckle. "You were talking shit about me with my boss?" My reply is quick and sharp. "Look I'm not exactly happy about it either I just came from a tag team the last thing I want is to be shoved back into one. That's beside the point, we're a team now so I need you to get your head outta your ass so we can practice" Bronco replies "I want us to try this finisher". My eyebrows raise to my hairline, nobody has ever talked to me like that. But shock aside I listen. We run the ropes and practice bumps over and over again until we have some sort of chemistry, and then it's time to try the finisher Bronco was so adamant we do. He slaps my hand to tag me in, I climb to the top rope, he backs into the corner. I step onto his shoulders, his hands in mine.... they have to be at least three times the size of my hand. Oh god.... My mind is racing... Get it together Lena. Once I'm stable I release his hands, and do a front flip onto the superstar laying on the mat willing to take the bump to help us.

Swinging my curly hair out of my face I smile and look up at Bronco who is returning the look. "Do that tonight!" Carmelo Hayes calls from outside of the ring. "I told you it was gonna be fire!" Bronco says grinning. He sits on the middle rope, gesturing for me to go through. I can help but to put my ass in his line of vision as I exit the ring. His gaze is like fire burning a hole through me. Before I know it he's just steps behind me, I can feel him still silently staring at me before I turn around quickly. "It's rude to stare Bronco, if you're going to look at my ass then at least tell me it's nice" I crane my chin to look up at him. "I don't know what you're talking about." He says with that dumb ass smirk on his face again.

---

I haven't seen or talked to Bronco all night, I huff loudly before lacing up my black boots before heading to the curtain. Jumping up and down in place to hype myself up I close my eyes and lean my head back. Soon after I feel those eyes burning through my body again. "You really have to stop staring at my ass dude. It's unprofessional" I say not bothering to look back or even so much as open my eyes. "It's crazy to assume that your ass is the one i'm looking at. There's a lot of ass around here, chaparrita" He says now standing next to me. "Yet clearly mine is your favorite because you keep staring a hole in it" Raising an eyebrow I shift my weight to my left hip, lips pursed together.

"Just don't fall on your fat ass while you're on my shoulders and we're cool. Wouldn't wanna bruise it" He winks when our music comes on... It's time.

---

My chest heaves as I climb to the top rope, Bronco already waiting in front of me seething at our opponent. His muscles tense as he awaits me to step onto his shoulders. The lights hit him in a way that makes him look damn near like a God. One foot and then the other onto his shoulder and then his big hands take mine just like we practiced. The crowd roars with excitement and he takes one, two, three steps and releases my hands before I front flip and land on the opponent. "one, two, three" The crowd screams before the bell rings. Flipping my hair out of my face I get up and scream. Celebrating, I walk backward straight into Bronco unknowingly. My ass presses into his thigh and those hands.... those big hands of his rest on my hip softly before reality sets in and my heart drops before I pull away from him.

"That was dope as hell!" Carmelo says dapping Bronco up before pulling me into a hug. "Welcome to the big league yall. Aye I got a section tonight and some of us are linking up y'all should pull up." My mouth opens to reject but Bronco interrupts "We'll be there" He says glancing down at me. We'll be there? Why the fuck would he say that? I..... We just worked our asses off in the ring the last thing I want to do is hear music blasting, I want to relax... But since he's already committed us to going I guess I'd better go take a shower. With an eyeroll I begin walking to the exit. "You really gotta get rid of that attitude of yours." Bronco says from behind me. "I don't have to do shit!" I retort. "I'll get rid of it for you, chaparrita" I can hear the smirk in his voice. "And stop calling me that! What does it mean?" I turn sharply. "Short, shortie, you're short" He cackles as he walks past me.

---

The music beats through my body like a drum, I refuse to ride with Bronco to the venue so I make my way through the crowd alone stopping at the bar to take a shot or two of liquid courage. I approach the section guarded by a security guard who lets me in without a word or hesitation. I walk in, immediately locking eyes with Bronco who has a glass of dark liquid to his lips. My body warms from the shots of liquid courage I took in minutes ago. Slowly, so slowly he walks toward me, gulping down the liquid. It feels like all eyes are on us, I can't tell if it's the alcohol making me think we're the center of the universe or if everyone really is staring. Wrapping his arm around me he bends down until his lips ghost my ear "You look good" His voice is rough and smooth all at the same time. I melt into his touch, I can't help myself.

I turn to him, pressing my body against his. He raises his eyebrows, sliding his hands down to squeeze my ass only making me press further into him. "You keep it up and we bouta leave early" His voice just loud enough for me to hear above the bass of the music. As much of a good time as that sounds like, my liquid courage has kicked in and I want to dance. Grabbing his big hand I lead Bronco further into the section moving my hips to the beat, my ass settles on his thigh like it had earlier in the ring. His lips purse into an o shape before he rests his hands on my hips, swaying back and forth with me. I can feel him growing behind me. but honestly, it just makes me move faster and closer to him. He buys us another round of shots before sitting on a nearby chair, pulling me into his lap.

"You know all these dudes keep staring at you, right? Like real hard" he chuckles "Trick basically broke his neck when you walked in". So I wasn't tripping. I shrug and gaze into the crowd of superstars in front of us all dancing no doubt drunk out of their minds. If they're staring, we might as well give them a show, right? Softly but firmly I grab his chin and press my lips against his. The taste of henny was still on his lips. Again his strong hands grip my ass, harder this time as if he's trying to rip my shorts off. Our lips disconnected with a smack, and our faces were still so close that I could feel his breath on my skin. "Don't do me like that if I can't have you, chaparrita." Bronco's voice low and raspy and I swear he could feel my excitement through my clothes the way I can feel his. Suddenly kissing him wasn't enough, I need all of him.

"I never said you couldn't" I purr into his ear. Bronco's eyes widen and he moves me off of his lap, standing quickly. "I'll catch you later Melo, something came up" Bronco says quickly dapping Carmelo up again but he says nothing only laughs. 'something came up' yeah his dick.

---

The hotel room for clicks shut behind us, my body buzzing with lust and liquor. Clothes fly off faster than anything i've seen before. Bronco picks me up with those hands I keep imagining around my neck. He presses me against the wall hungrily kissing my neck and chest. He nips and kisses my skin like he's been waiting for this moment, like he's been fantasizing about it and finally had his chance. It feels like a dam has broken between my legs when my eyes shoot open. My body craves his on mine, I need to be closer. His eyes meet mine, dark and low and without a single word exchanged he moves to the bed. Slowly he slides one finger into me, my body aches with a need for more.

"It's dripping already." He groans. His fingers are long and thick, it only makes me wonder what his dick looks like. Quickly he begins pumping his finger into me, eyes never leaving mine as I squirm around gripping the sheets like my life depends on it... and it very well might. As soon as my climax threatens to undo me he takes his finger out. "We come together." Is all he says. My body aches with need to release. He wants to edge me on, two can play that game. "Lay down." I demand and he listens willingly. Slowly I begin to straddle him, making sure he gets a good look at my body. I circle my hips around his long thick dick. Bronco grips my ass, making me gasp softly.

"You are about to make me lose my mind" He growls softly. Planting soft kisses along his neck and jawline I grind back and fourth along the length of him, precum threatening to come out. "We come together, remember?" I whisper before stopping my motion. Something animalistic takes over him and he digs his fingers into my hips, a surge of pain and pleasure jolt through my body before I lift myself and push his length into me slowly... so.... slowly. I sigh loudly, my body relieved to finally have him. Quickly I bounce up and down on him. Softly he grabs my hips, stopping me from raising again. "Ride it slow" He says softly "I wanna enjoy it, all of it." His voice is like some sort of mix between a moan and pure need, he needs to see it all.

Slowly I rock my hips back and forth, grinding and bouncing in between. His eyes drift around my body but always land back on my face even when he rubs soft circles around my swollen clit. My legs are stretched open around his thick waist, his long muscular arms glazed with sweat drape over my legs. "Fuck!" He growls "Lena! Fuck!". My name on his tongue is sexy. He presses himself into me from underneath making me yelp. "You're so fucking sexy" He groans. His dick glistens with my juices as he pushes in and pulls out of me over and over again from under me.

I bite my bottom lip and close my eyes, is this euphoria? My climax is approaching. His mouth gaped open before an inaudible sound left it. Lightning strikes through my middle and I let out a final yell at the same time that he lets out his final swear word and we are both finished. We come together. I collapse on his warm heaving chest before sitting up, hands in the area my face just was. "They're all going to know we fucked when we go back in next week." I say softly. A chuckle "Then they'll know not to stare so hard next week too." He replies

[bucknastysbabe]

Thank you hotd fam for making me feel like a million bucks— it’s also so freeing and fun to be confident and open about this to ppl in my personal life. I told my aa sponsor and she was like YES GIRL! What a queen. Next up for HOTD I’m gonna try to get into the obsessive Criston hcs but I am a busy bitch

Anyways this nasty shit has been sitting in my drafts TOO DAMN LONG. I have so many Bucky blurbs if anyone is into those— they’re already written. BUT in honor of going to an all day Catholic event tomorrow I’m going to try to get excommunicated by posting this. Ladies and gents and fancy folx I bring you: ✝️beefy priest bucky✝️

Noble and Chaste

“Lust; disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure.” -Catechism of the Catholic Church

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Rough oral (m!receiving), priest kink, LOTS OF SACRILEGE, teasing, confession booth, manipulation, age difference, dom!bucky, priest!bucky, BEEFCAKE BUCK, reader is of age, degradation, dirty talk, deep throating, f!masturbation, smuttysmutsmut

1977

St. Maria Goretti Boarding School. Also known as where parents send their daughters who are whores or have a temperance issue. Or both, just like you. Your parents sent you up the east coast to this place in upstate New York. It was down the road from an asylum. You felt that was a planned threat.

You placed your new record onto the player. It was the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever. You loved disco so much. Back in New York you’d gone to some clubs and partied all night long to their songs. Now you were here surrounded by idiots and dusty nuns. At least the priest was funny. You had a year left, this being your senior year. You could pretend to be normal and get back into your parents good graces before fucking off to college and being free again.

For now you smoked out of the window, singing to the along to ‘Night Fever’. Wanda whined from her bed, “No smokingggg, Sister Agatha will whip us again.” You rolled your eyes and snickered, “You want one or not Maximoff?” She groaned and joined you on the windowsill, lighting up.

The girl was accused by her parents of being into ‘witchcraft’. In reality she just liked crystals and horoscopes. She took a drag and spoke on the exhale, “Did you hear about the assistant priest coming to train under Father Dugan?” You whinged, “He better be hot this time. The one two years ago was a square.”

Wanda gasped, “Girl! He’s a man of the cloth.”

The pair of you devolved into giggles, bumping shoulders affectionately. You spent the afternoon gossiping and planning on how one would seduce the young priest.

You ended up wearing your skirt from freshman year. You’d grown since then, leaving little to the imagination. Of course you had your thick white tights on underneath. If your button popped loose on your shirt during the nightly meeting, everyone would be too prudish to say anything until afterward. Wanda dolled you up with the little makeup the pair of you had smuggled.

The nightly meetings were a bore. It was run by Father Dugan. They were a time for the ladies to share about a topic and learn how to deal with it more ‘christ-like’. Sometimes you’d just start laughing uncontrollably to Sister Agatha’s chagrin. You strolled in, last in line of the senior girls. There was about twelve of you, filling the chairs. Sister Agatha watched like a hawk from the back of the small room.

Father Dugan walked in with the new priest. A collective low burble of noises broke out amongst the ladies. You whispered to Wanda, “Fuck— he’s like sex on legs.” Dugan smiled knowingly but you focused in on the new one. He was powerfully built, all wide shoulders and huge arms. The priest had brown hair to his neck and the prettiest lips. His angel face and baby blues didn’t quite match up with being sturdy as a brick shithouse.

He introduced himself softly, “Hello, I’m Father Barnes. I’ll be helping Father Dugan here until I’m assigned to my first parish. I can’t wait to get to know you lovely ladies of the Lord.”

You lowly groaned, “I can’t wait either.”

The pair of holy men sat in two of the chairs in the circle. You eyed Barnes’ chest straining his black garb. God he was gorgeous. Father Dugan started with a prayer and some scripture. He began, “And with that, I’d like to talk about confession and honesty today.” You snorted when the others all suddenly had something to say. They could try but he was yours.

You sat through the boring drivel and bit back a laugh when Elizabeth burst into tears about lying to her parents. Agatha cleared her throat pointedly, staring you down. You caught blue eyes on you, and smiled good-naturedly at Father Barnes. He blushed and redirected his attention to the squalling Elizabeth. Wanda elbowed you.

“Since you seem to be so invested, why don’t you share your thoughts?,” Dugan asked humorously as he pointed at you. You laughed flatly, straightened up and crossed your legs. You dryly rambled, “Well Father. To be human is to sin. We’re born with it. Instead of holding onto the guilt I just confess it. Whether it’s to you or my friend, I have to be honest. Even if I just pray to the Holy Spirit. Keeps me in check.”

Dugan replied, “Well said. Humans are sinful. So we must-“ You blocked off his voice to a dull hum as you ‘accidentally’ popped a button on your shirt, revealing your cleavage. Wanda smirked from next to you. You stretched your arms, highlighting the opening. Father Barnes’ eyes flickered over before dropping to the ground. Then repeating again. Hooked. With an exaggerated gasp you excused yourself from the meeting, citing ‘impropriety’.

You relaxed in your bed, kicking your legs as you laughed. Wanda busted in and pointed at you. She hissed, “You little minx! He watched your ass when you left the meeting!” You rolled onto your side with a smirk. You drawled, “I just gotta get some more info,” you hugged yourself dramatically, “get closer!” Wanda cackled in glee before Sister Maria told you two to hush through the door.

The next day you were in the cavernous library. Considering all your faults you did try to keep your grades up to secure your way out. You wrote down equations, a bored hand supporting your head. You heard a door open behind you, and some footsteps echoing after.

“Dugan warned me about you,” Barnes spoke.

He tried to sound confident but you picked up on the slight crack in his voice. You smirked at your paper before schooling it into a placid expression. You retorted, “Whatever do you mean, Father?” You turned to face the young priest, who perched on a table two rows away. His muscular arms were crossed defensively.

Barnes’ lips pouted as he stared you down. A few beats of silence passed over the room before he spoke again.

“I think you know what I mean,” he deadpanned.

You mimicked the clergyman’s pose, turning around to sit on the table. You spread your legs ever-so-slightly. Barnes’ eyes stayed on your face but his jaw twitched and cheeks flushed. You purred, “Tell me. What did Dugan say about me?” You thought the man was going to explode as he slapped his hand down on the table and spluttered, “Quit with the nonsense!”

Your lips stretched into a catlike grin.

“Tell you what Father, I’ll confess to you what I do so sinfully. Then we can start fresh huh?”

The angered brunette’s heaving chest slowed as he processed your words. Accusing blue orbs bore into you before he clicked his tongue. Barnes replied, “Fine. Lead the way.” You laughed and hopped off the table, swaying down the hallway leading to the chapel and confession booths. You felt his heat close behind, but the man kept quiet.

You entered the booth, kneeling immediately. The priest entered the other side, the curtains closing with a swish. You heard the wood creak as he sat down. He cleared his throat awkwardly. You made a sign of the cross while speaking, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. My last confession was one month ago."

You saw his silhouette shift behind the screen. You continued, “Since my last confession I’ve sinned greatly. I was inattentive and late to the last mass. I didn’t show respect for my classmates. I’ve been prideful, angry, envious, and a gossip.” The priest hummed quietly as you breathed, “I’ve been especially bad lately. A lustful sort. I know why Dugan said what he did.”

His breath hitched as you falsely expressed sorrow in your next words.

“I haven’t been chaste in word and thought. I’ve had impure thoughts and gratified myself sexually to them. I just can’t help it. It’s been so long since I’ve been fucked.” Your voice petered out in a sigh, “And you look so good.”

He growled suddenly, “Do you think this is a joke?”

You shook your head vehemently. You cried, “I’m so sorry— do you think I’ll be forgiven?”

You yelped as he jerked out of the booth. You thought he was leaving before a big hand ripped you up violently by the arm. Barnes pressed you up against the unforgiving wood of the confessional. His nostrils flared and jaw ticked as he furiously glared at you. The brunette’s hand gripped your arm in a vice.

You held his gaze, panting softly. He hissed, “You probably won’t be forgiven. But neither will I.” His lips sealed against yours roughly, dominating the space. You opened up, letting the man take his rising frustrations out. Your free arm wrapped around his neck, gripping at the base of his skull. You moaned lowly as he nipped your lip, big body pressing into your giving flesh.

The priest let go of your arm to move both hands down to your ass, squeezing forcefully. He groaned raggedly, “Fuckin’ Jezebel— Delilah— Been thinkin’ bout that ass since last night. Whore of Fuckin’ Babylon.” You whined at his words, chasing his plump lips eagerly. Father Barnes sucked on your tongue before massaging it with his own. His thick cock pressed into your waist, throbbing hotly.

You moaned, “Wanna suck you off— please.”

He pushed you down quickly. You cried out when your knees hit the wood floor. He jammed two thick fingers in your mouth, pressing down on your tongue. Saliva filled your mouth as you sucked the best you could. His eyes rolled back and you saw his cock twitch under his dark slacks. The brunette breathed out, “Do it then, do it since you need it so bad. Slutty little thing.”

Trembling hands undid his belt and popped the button. You slid down the zipper and pulled him out with a shaky noise around his unmoving fingers. Drool fell down your chin, dropping onto the floor between your thighs. Your pussy throbbed and clenched in need. He pulled his fingers out of your mouth, sucking on the wet digits with a long groan. Your hands held onto the man’s hips as you slid him in your mouth.

You started with kitten licks around his tip before swiping your tongue against the leaking slit, savoring the salty taste. The priest swore and groaned, thighs flexing. Then you started to suck and hollow your cheeks to take him in. His hips thrusted forward and you gagged. Barnes cursed, “Fuck— you’re gonna take this cock like a good girl now. I’m gonna fuck your throat, mhm.” You nodded around his length, sucking air in through your nose.

Tears slid down your face as he eased the hot flesh down your throat. Eventually your body accepted the intrusion and he started an easy rhythm, hips thrusting shallowly. The man let out a weak noise and gripped at your hair. He quickly sped up, the slick noises of your throat heightening. Father Barnes hissed, “Sh-shit you feel good. Damned succubus.” His strokes stuttered when you whined pathetically on a particularly hard jerk of his hips.

You reached a hand down between your legs, shoving your fingers into your panties to get at your swollen clit. He laughed breathlessly, “Yeah pretty girl— come when I fill your whore mouth.” You circled your fingers harder around the sensitive bud, bucking onto your hand. He was earnestly fucking your throat now, you choking on a whimper every other thrust. The man of the cloth fared no better, running a frantic hand through his long hair and softly begging for forgiveness as he let out a particularly high noise.

Barnes cried out, “G-gonna come, fuck, fuck!” He pulled you flush to his pelvis, your nose hitting his wiry curls. You felt him twitch and swell as the man emptied down your throat. You seized up on your fingers and wailed around his dick as you gushed in your panties. The brunette slid out with a whimper as you gasped for breath. Your swollen lips throbbed as you heaved in. The clergyman rubbed a big hand against your cheek.

He looked down at you, pinkened cheeks and hazy eyes making him look like an angel. Barnes demanded softly, “Act of contrition.” You whined a ‘huh’ as he repeated harder, “Say the act of contrition.”

You made another sign of the cross with a weak hand as you hoarsely prayed, “O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell. But most of all because I have offended you, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve with the help of your grace, to confess my sins, to do penance and to amend my life. Amen.”

He drawled, “You’re absolved. Come back next week.”

Barnes extended his other hand to help you up. You stumbled like a newborn foal into his broad chest. His stony face eased into a soft smile as he murmured, “Such a good girl. You alright?” You nodded against his chest, worn out from the experience. He kissed your forehead and warned, “No speaking of this. Then maybe I’ll let you come on my tongue next time.”

[intestinalemphasis]

Want some centaur vore to distract me from depression

(note: contains many varieties and forms of vore btw, which I tagged ahead of time)

[Oral] A short, stubby, and very much bratty Shetland pony centaur woman, who eats you just because you looked at her the wrong way, or you didn't give her enough extra treats. In the end, you'll look like no more than another layer on her pudgy physique.

[Anal] A horny centaur mare in heat, using you the stablehand as her personal sex toy: being shoved into the ass-end of her and becoming little more than a pair of wiggling legs protruding from under her tail. Well, until she gets going, and starts sucking you in deeper...

[Cock] Dating a centaur for a little while, until realizing that they have very..."unique" ways of breaking up. Namely, the stud in question you were once romantically involved with is now unceremoniously shoving you down his massive horse-cock, to be churned up into a new batch of baby batter for the success of his future spawn. If you can't bear the centaur babies, they'll make you into centaur cum...

[Unbirth] Sorta a combo of the above two, being unbirthed by a horny broodmare centaur, to be lovingly churned up into a new baby in her fertile womb. Though, it may take a while before that process fully finishes, and she has a LOT of studs to start breeding with...

[Oral] Being a part of a group of reckless trespassers, who try to steal from a herd of centaurs, and get caught red-handed. You're forced to watch each of your crew slip down the throats of the wild half-horses, down into their larger bellies where they squirm and plead as they start to digest. You're the "lucky" one: instead of a new, empty belly, you're going into a full one, as their dessert. Hopefully it's not too messy in there while your friend has begun gurgling away...

[Oral] Being inside of a centaur's belly while they're running. Being jostled around and shook up with every powerful stride, lurching around in their noisy belly as they leap and turn and gallop about. If they haven't worked up a sweat yet, you certainly have.

[Any/all] Zebras, and by extension zebra centaurs too, are really mean, so they absolutely would not give a shit if you ended up inside them. Actually, they probably egg each other on if they see someone to get each other to eat them or put them up their ass. If you're a tiny, God help you if you ever cross the path of a zebra centaur.

[Oral] Cow centaur vore, hello, hi?? FOUR stomachs to be slopped through, to be made into rich milk? Cow centaurs don't even blink when they start eating you, they usually don't even realize you're there. They just start swallowing and you kinda have no choice but to let them. Sorry bout that, have fun 🤷

Centaur being saddled with the purpose of being "tamed", only to begin eating people in an attempt to keep the straps from fitting around their belly. The rancher scratches their head, wondering why the saddle girth won't fit anymore, as the huffy centaur's belly growls with half-digested ranchhand inside it.

[Oral] BIG centaur draft horse that you don't even make a bulge on, making it too easy to be slurped up without anybody ever finding out. Her gut is powerful, too, and you're soup in no time. You won't make a dent in her beautiful body, but hey, at least you got to become a part of it still.

[shares-a-vest]

💖 Fic Writing Review 2023 💖

I was tagged by @penny00dreadful @rocknrollsalad @cranberrymoons and @unclewaynemunson Thanks everyone! You all smashed it in 2023. Here's to more words wording and fun fandom times with our faves.

Tbh, it took me a good month minute to work out how to do this, seeing as I don't post much to ao3 (something I intend on mending in 2024). I'm very much going with the 'feel free to show whatever stats you like' aspect of the rules.

But before all that, I'd like to use this post as an opportunity to acknowledge everyone who enjoys my writing. I kinda just fell into writing in this fandom and discovered that I love it!

I'm also sending love and appreciation to my beloved moots and everyone in the stwg discord server. Here's to another year of creating, sharing and interacting 💖

This fandom really is my happy place a lot of the time, a much-needed creative outlet and a space where I can talk to people who let me be my silly little old self.

I have so much I want to write in 2024 (including some in-the-works stuff listed below). One goal I know I have in 2024 is to write what I'll temporarily title, 'The Origin of Joanie Munson'. I would really like to knuckle down and write a looonnnggg fic this year that would tell that story.

Anyway, enough of me talking, I'll stop before I get too sappy...

Top 5 Posts by Notes:

Wayne and Claudia to Steve's Rescue

I'm Dating Garfield

My Prince

Eddie gets stuck in Steve's shower after the power goes off

Eddie Munson: Sparkly Vampire Boyfriend

Proudest Work & Reflections:

Wayne and Steve get hearing aids: This post was very much inspired by my pop's ongoing struggle with his hearing aids. HoH Steve is a beloved headcanon of mine so I was happy to receive so much love for a little ficlet that came from a very real place.

Steve spends Father's Day with the Buckleys: If there's one Steve trope I will write, it's Steve Has Bad Parents™. I always find myself writing this trope and getting Steve all sad and angsty as a personal coping mechanism/outlet for irl Dad Stuff™. I was a pile of goo over the tags and comments saying this ficlet resonated with readers! We really are just out here projecting onto our blorbos to get through shit.

Joanie Munson's First Word: I love my Joanie Munson AU. And one thing I love writing into it is Wayne being a doting Grandpa. It was a WIP for quite a while and I remember waking up at like 3am, unable to sleep and bam I finished it, proving that sometimes it's worth letting something linger in the drafts until the moment strikes.

My Fandom Events in 2023 (I did a sprinkling of others, but these I completed/worked on consistently):

Spicy Six Fanworks Challenge SPRING and SUMMER

Steddie Week 2023

Steddiemas

Upcoming Works & Events (aka, next in the pipeline):

Spicy Six Fanworks Challenge WINTER

Clarkson Mixtape Fic

STWG Hozier Project

Tagging some precious moots (plus those above) to send my love and good New Year vibes to! @thefreakandthehair @tboyeddie @steventhusiast @imfinereallyy @hbyrde36 @spicysix @momotonescreaming @withacapitalp @farahsamboolents @hellion-child @sidekick-hero (also feel free to do this tag game too if you'd like/haven't already!)

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

[problematicfactive]

New intro Post

New intro post! How exciting! This is my celebration for reaching 25 followers so fast! Thank you all for your overwhelming support in this journey, it really has been a lot.

If you're new here, my boyfriend and I are both introjected from extremely problematic medias revolving around a very bad person that lived in real life. We are both from fictional medias, bit the person of which we introjected is very much real, and We've gotten a LOT of shit for it.

Spaces that claim to be safe spaces for systems-- or God forbid, safe spaces for *problematic* introjects and alters, tend to be rude or spiteful towards individuals who are factives from problematic sources.

I firmly believe this hateful stance comes from a place of not understanding, so I've created this blog to give people who don't understand a chance to talk and speak to us without losing their cool as we also stay anonymous on this blog. They're always nice until they find out who you are /hj . Since it's creation, the blog has since turned into a big place for problematic factives to just feel safe and seen. I'm beyond happy about this, and glad my blog can serve both purposes. More under the cut!

We post a lot of everything!

We answer asks from people who have questions about us or about being problematic factives, we make positivity posts for problematic factives, problematic factive culture is... posts, and lots of other things you could think of. Feel free to vent in our askbox or message us for a chat! We'd love to have a friend.

Some things off the top of my head that I can't do on this blog (but if you end up making a blog for these things and need a mod, totally hmu!)

Stimboards/Moodboards etc. - I would literally love to do these but the problem is I know like nothing about anyone. Of you were to ask me for a Donald Trump moodboard I honestly do not know what I would do my mind would just blank. That being said, in decently good at making them so if there were a person I knew well enough to do a stimboard on, I definitely could

Icon edits - This is somthing I'm capable of doing, but it isn't something where I would want this entire blog to just turn into requests. If you're making a blog specifically for these creative requests things totally hmu

Art - I cannot draw but my hope is that that changes in the future.

-

Meet us!

My last intro post didn't really have any information on us as people let's try and fix that.

I can't tell you my name, but you can call me Anxiety. I'm the main mod and significantly less source connected/more source ashamed. I go by he/Anxiety with Anxiety being able to work in place of either a name or a pronoun. Unless the host is helping out with something, anything that isn't labeled comes from me. I'm the only one out of the two of us with the physical ability to type so when he posts something, it's a little special occasion and deserves a label.

My boyfriend doesn't have a name option other than a source one. On the blog he has only been referred to as my boyfriend, but if you need a name for him, call him NPC. He uses he/him pronouns and will sign off any post that he thinks up all on his own with -NPC and tagged with # npc posts

Tagging

Here is some of the tagging we use on this blog

# problematic factive culture = Problematic factive culture is.. posts

# kindness and positivity = Kind and Positive asks we've received

# good thoughtful questions = Good questions we received as asks

# positivity post = Positivity posts

# problematicfactive blog things = things that ate moreso related to one of the mods or running the blog than they are about problematic factives

# rainy day drafts = drafts that could be super old because I made them and them left them in the drafts so I could post when I don't have anything else to post

# queued because I am asleep 😊 / queued because hopefully I'm sleeping = posts that I queue to be 5-ish hours away from the last post. I often post somthing at 12 am Eastern Time regardless of the last something was posted, so those early morning positivity posts tend to also be queued with the tag

If you come across us and like what we do, consider boosting or realigning this post! I'd love for as many people to find out we exist as possible

# askers experience = Asks sent in where an asker tells me about their life

# npc posts = posts my npc wrote as a mod on this blog (does not apply to posts where "my boyfriend's answer" is me paraphrasing or trying to speak for him)

[biolizardboils]

Hey again.

I was saving this for when I'd wrapped some other stuff up, but it's taking too long. I'm just gonna say it while the words are fresh in my head.

The two-month break I've been on? I think I'm gonna stay on it. As in, stay logged off except on special occasions.

There's still things I want to finish here. I will answer what's left at @ask-the-all-consuming-void and bring it to a proper ending; The Secret Thing it was gonna segue into will go up, even if only as sketches and drafts; And there's another project I'm still helping with behind the scenes. But aside from those… I want to maintain my internet presence a lot less.

I've learned a lot about myself since I left: most importantly the hyper-empathy, compassion fatigue thing, and that being terminally online probably does more harm than help. There's trying to be a good, vigilant person, and then there's overwhelming oneself about things they can't control, with info that isn't always accurate. I've been doing the latter in different ways for years; late April/early May was a big wake-up call. Lesson learned: I've got to find balance, and I won't find it here.

The second-most important thing I learned is that… the reason I "joined" the internet in the first place? It's pretty much been fulfilled. Has been for a few years now, actually.

I made this tumblr in 2015, but I got my real start on deviantART and WordPress in 2011. Don't expect links; what people post in their preteens can stay between them and God lol. But I'll tell you what got me to make accounts: my confusion as a new Sonic fan. The way people talked about them, the way they talked to each other… it hurt to see.

I got it in my preteen head to set a better example. To not let my love for something become disdain for others of its kind. To explain instead of assume. And to assure anyone who'd listen that it's not shameful to like Sonic, that those who do deserve better, and that they could still have it better someday.

And now, 13 years later… we do. The hurtful stuff I saw back then is nearly gone now. When it does pop up, it's easier to counteract than ever. People realize how silly and petty and wrong it was, and can call it out accordingly. People can live a little truer to themselves, now that that shit isn't everywhere anymore.

I think that, specifically, is all I really wanted. Everything else—the reinvigoration of the characters and their world, the downpour in avenues once closed off by "cringe" and "not enough interest"—have been wonderful byproducts. I've been gassing up Sonic Movie 3 as the final step, but it's really more of a victory lap.

After realizing that, I just… don't feel the need to post so much here anymore. My self-worth and sense of morality shouldn't rely on what I do or don't type. I don't need to document every thought or choice I make and why.

The cause I've performed for since middle school no longer needs my time and energy, if it ever even did. I can just enjoy things in relative silence, and spend myself in other ways. Ways I've taken too long to get around.

Sonic Unleashed is what set me down this path. I watched it go from rejected at launch, to just divisive, to respected and beloved. I still wonder if, had it gotten a fairer chance, the current Sonic renaissance could've happened sooner.

But dwelling on that won't change anything. I'd rather dwell on how, this year, I got to scream Endless Possibility with hundreds of other people, loudly and proudly. No fear of who's watching, no need to self-sabotage. It meant the world to me.

There was a con in my area on June 23rd. I wasn't planning on doing anything that day until I heard about it. There was someone in attendance who helped me put a symbolic bow on this part of my life.

I think he did a wonderful job :)

I have one last thing to say before I go. That'll be its own post, so I can put it in the public Sonic tags.

Again, the stuff I've left hanging here will get finished eventually. But for now, this is goodbye.

Moots, followers: thank you so much. I will quite literally remember you all in therapy.

--BiolizardBoils

[mauesartetc]

PSA regarding character design asks

For those of you who are new here, if you take a look at the "character design" tag in this blog's archive, you'll notice I post a fair bit about the subject, sometimes helping others improve their own designs. I love getting these kinds of asks, as working out design kinks is a fun challenge for me (despite urgent life shit delaying my response times. Folks who've sent me design asks in the past few months: They're in my drafts and I thank you for your patience).

But recently I received an ask that displayed some rather disappointing behavior, and I thought I'd take this opportunity to nip it in the bud. This isn't a callout post, and I'm not trying to sic the shame squad on this person. I just want to stress to all of you that this isn't okay.

The ask included an image of a character they drew and some brief paragraphs of background information. Typical fare for this kind of ask. Everything was fine until the last two sentences.

I have to confess that I shamelessly stole the [clothing article] from [someone else's character design]. But since [worldbuilding info related to a real-life thing the other person's design was based on], it made perfect sense.

I looked up the original design they were referring to, and sure enough, they had traced so much of it that half of their design wasn't really theirs. Because it "made perfect sense."

I'm going to say this in the most civil way I possibly can.

ANYTHING. Would have made more sense. Than art theft.

"But Maue, it's just part of a design, not the whole thing". Doesn't matter. Theft is theft. And I want to make it clear to everyone reading this that if you think it's in any way acceptable to rip off another character designer, my posts haven't taught you a damn thing. Frankly I'm a bit insulted that this person assumed I'd be complicit in this.

For the record, professional designers do NOT steal from others, or at least the good ones don't. They might be inspired by an existing design, but, importantly, they'll use other inspirations too, and put their own unique spin on it. It's just a starting point, not the final product.

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but this ain't just imitation; it's the equivalent of copying another kid's homework in school. This is cheating. I've had one of my own characters shamelessly ripped off before, and there was nothing flattering about it. It just made me feel used, like a parasite had sucked me dry. I never want anyone else to feel that way, and I hope to God none of y'all do either.

Folks, if you want to design your own characters, do the research and actually design your own characters. It's really not that hard. Sure, the first attempts might look terrible, but at least they'll come by their shittiness honestly. Ugly art that tried has infinitely more charm than gorgeous art that didn't.

I'm sorry if this comes off as harsh, but I take this shit seriously. So please don't send me asks containing stolen artwork. I won't respond and you'll earn yourself a block. Fair warning.

Don't get lazy. You know better, so do better.

Thanks.

[youngerdrgrey]

wip - station 19, andy/vic

notes: hadn't so much as considered this possibility until I saw thier names tagged on ao3. now here we are. I'm sharing this wip draft for now until I finish more of it and post on ao3.

context: kicks off after the season 4 finale. Marina wedding reception still in progress. Andy fucked up. Vic just made out with Theo now that she has Travis' blessing (and poor sweet Dean saw it when he went to confess his feelings for her).

.

The vibes are off when Maya, Carina, and Andy get back from storming the chief’s office. Sure, they turn on the music, and everyone starts dancing again, but Vic can’t really surrender herself to the party anymore. She can’t just make out with Theo when it feels like something really big just happened. Something nobody’s talking about.

Andy dances as far away from Sullivan as she can. He keeps eyeing her like some wounded dog. When Vic tries to talk to Dean about it, Dean gets weird. So, Vic really only has one option.

She corners Andy in the bathroom.

She’s polite enough to wait until Andy’s flushed the toilet, but the second Andy opens the stall, Vic stares the other woman down.

Andy flinches at the sight of her. “Shit, Vic, say something next time.”

“Maybe you should say something,” Vic says. “What happened with the chief?”

Andy averts her eyes to the sink. She gets the water running.

Vic watches Andy’s jaw work. Her eyes start to narrow because it’s a simple question.

Maya and Andy stormed the chief’s office, and then… what? Fill in the blank.

“He’s not giving Maya her captaincy back,” Andy says. “I’m proud of her for still enjoying tonight. It was really a beautiful wedding. You did amazing, Vic.”

“I know I did amazing. It’s the best freaking wedding at a pierogi place that will ever exist,” Vic says. “But Maya’s spot doesn’t explain you acting weird. If Sullivan really caused this—“

“He did,” Andy insists. Her tone’s sharp as it always when she mentions her husband. She shakes her hands.

Vic grabs paper towels and hands them over to Andy.

Andy sighs out, “Thanks. I don’t really want to get into all of this. Robert put this whole thing in motion. He said the chief wanted to know what Robert thought about Maya, and Robert….”

Andy’s nostrils flare. Her eyes cut to the paper towels in her hands. Then it makes sense. Andy’s anger only tracks if Robert looked out for himself over everyone else.

So Vic finishes the sentence for Andy. “Robert tried to get her spot.”

Andy laughs, but it’s probably the angriest, most disbelieving laugh Vic has heard in years.

Andy says, “He keeps saying he did it for me. For us. For our house. But—“

“But that’s bullshit,” Vic deadpans. “If he wanted to protect the house, he would’ve argued to keep Maya where she was.”

“Exactly!” Andy throws her hands to the sky.

“Or-or mentioned you — you’re an actual lieutenant. The rightful heir of Station 19.”

Andy rolls her eyes. “Not heir, Vic, come on.”

Vic bumps Andy’s hand. “It’s true! You’ve been our little captain that could for as long as I’ve been here. Having Maya as Captain was one thing, but someone else entirely….”

Vic doesn’t want to imagine it. They’ve had enough change in their lives recently. Her awful older sister of a restaurant got torched a month ago. Ben and Dean almost drowned. It’s been absolute hell, but they’ve gotten through every bit of it because of their family.

She sighs. “You know what, we’re not going to let one potential new person throw us off. We’ve gotten through so much shit together. We can deal with this too.”

Pain flashes across Andy’s face.

Vic’s brows scrunch. “What? What was that face? Don’t say you don’t need help, because Andy, I swear—”

“We won’t be together,” Andy admits. “That’s… that’s the other thing that happened with the chief. He reassigned me to Station 23. Effective on Monday.”

Vic’s whole body freezes.

It just ceases to function for a second.

She starts to laugh, because this has to be a joke.

There’s no way that Andy Herrera is leaving Station 19.

“You’re not serious. Right? You can’t be serious. Why—“

“He said that I’ll never be out of my dad’s shadow. And told me this move would be good for me,” Andy says.

“Bullshit!”

“Yeah, well, his decision’s final, so…” Andy sighs. She opens her mouth to say it, but no sound comes out.

It’s like a spark ignites with that. One second, Andy’s fine. Angry, but she’s holding it all together. It’s just another captain’s order for her to carry out. But the next, she’s clutching at her chest. Tears completely blur her vision. The bathroom tiling feels too close and getting closer.

Vic catches Andy when Andy stumbles forward. It’s not perfect, and it takes a careful shuffle of their bodies to keep Andy from dragging them both down to the ground.

A dry sob wracks Andy’s body. Vic wraps her arms around Andy as tightly as she can. Every ragged breath, every broken sound. Vic takes it all. She squeezes her eyes shut and lets Andy fall apart.

“I can’t — I can’t do it,” Andy sobs. “I can’t leave 19.”

.

.

more eventually

[anime-rambles]

"As it should have been" Snippet

Pairing: Alpha!Bakugou x Omega!Reader

Warnings: Angst, hurt, forced submission, pregnancy, rpe,

Word Count: Snippet - No idea how long this will be.

A/N: Thank you all so much for the support and love for my work, little snippet here of something i've bee working on, My drafts are overflowing currently with all the fix's i've been writing, to stay up to date with everything or want to be tagged, I have a new taglist form follow the link below and it will bring you too it. Much love as always, Tiff <3

Summary: Still Pending

Permanent Tag List: @jasmine2042003 @jazzylove @amypop122 @misssugarless @plutounderbridges @butterscotch-babie @backoftheletter @gojosslvt @himi-yuu @ebiharachan @black-rose-29

MHA Tag List: @hornehlittleweeblet2 @mystiqueewrites @belzeblitz @moonygeno413 @ace-the-side-character @unlogical-ella @moonseye @vaellee @corruptowlette @pasteldaze @24-7-multifandomsimp @yetoadet @ninetyeightrins @kirissluttypebble @elaineplayz @phantomalchemist @tigerd-draws @kunaigirlx44 @jujutaku @adventures-in-a-heartbeat @cmars59 @upinacloud @yourdragonsfire @uwiuwi @burningbluegalaxy @kirislilwhorewife @kuzusouda-and-terumaru-blog @kat-perdue @ebiharachan @lazyafgurl @bratty-fics @eraserheads-sleeping-bag

TAGLIST

MASTERLIST

“Don't make me put you in your place omega.” Bakugou got off the floor, and stalked towards you, releasing his pheromones into the air an attempt to break you into submission.

“How dare you use your pheromones against me” You scream, throwing yourself at him, clawing at him. 

“I MAY BE AN OMEGA, BUT I’LL STILL KICK YOUR ASS” You added, Bakugou and you fought without quirks until you could feel yourself being dragged from him by a blur of red. You didn’t even have to look at the person to know who it was. 

“Kirishima let me go, LET ME GO” You shout, trying to wriggle your way out of his arms. 

“Calm down y/n, please this isn't the time or place for this.” He places you away from Bakugou and makes you look in his eyes. You nod and look around him, seeing all of your friends from UA, standing around. 

“What's going on y/n, please tell us.” Mina says as she takes a step forward. You look at Bakugou and see Midoriya trying to calm him down. 

“Well, it's a funny story actually, here i was just enjoying my day when a villain attacked the street, a lovely hero flew overhead attacking this villains and ignore the space they were in, now this hero had an explosion quirk and next thing you know the building I was under exploded and I had to activate my quirk, saving the civilians.” you say calmly and gesture to the area you came from. All heads turned to look, your quirk of air manipulation - force fields were currently holding massive boulders of concrete in the air and other heroes were pulling civilians from the broken building. 

“Holy shit y/n, are you still holding that up? Always knew you were a badass” Denki asks looking at you, asking for a highfive.  

“Yes Denki, I am, I had to train my hardest to keep up with you all this time” you smile at him, giving him a highfive.

“Too bad, you were good enough to stick around, tck” Bakugou says under his breath.

“Kacchen, that is so uncalled for.” Midoriya says, hitting him in the arm.

“You wanna say that louder” You take a step away from Kirishima and try to square up to Bakugou. 

“Mom, can I come out of the bubble now?” a little voice could be heard. You instantly switch to parent mode and turn to look at your son. 

“Of course, buddy I was just making sure it was safe, hence why I'm talking to these lovely heroes” you flick your hand and the protective bubble around your son disappears and he runs towards you. You pick him up, throw him in the air and catch him, causing him to giggle. 

“Hold on a minute, there's a little y/n, walking around and I didn’t know” Kirishima asks grinning at the child in your arms. 

[sorcerous-caress]

hope this isn't weird to ask but how long have you been writing and how old are you? did you ever take any courses related to writing or have you been improving through writing as a hobby?

Hey it's not weird at all, I'll happily answer!

I'm 20 years old, and I have been writing non-continuously since I was 12.

My first fic was written with colon punctuation for spoken dialogue instead of quotation marks bc I didn't know what those were at the time. For example:

Bob: nice weather we're having today (he said with a smile)

Bob2: I signed the divorce papers, they're on the counter. (Sighing at the other's stubbornness)

I posted it on wattpad.

Afterwards, I never wrote anything else, but I learned about Ao3 and kept enganging in fandom spaces. At 14, I joined roleplaying group chats, which made me think and write faster to keep the rp going. Eventually, it became one on one rp with another person where we would take our chat history log, freshen it up a bit, then post it as a fic.

By 16, I joined a fandom server with a semi serious writing subcategory in it. People more experienced and much older than me would beta for other's story. It's where I picked up the habit to write drafts in google docs so I can easily share the link for a beta reader to add suggestions to.

I still haven't written another fic by then, not by myself, at least. I got very insecure at the time about my writing and lack of knowledge. Mind you, I joined the server, not knowing what punctuation was. It took several beta readers adding punctuation for me until it finally clicked that I should use it.

It felt like I was an outcast in a way? Sure, everyone treated me just as nicely as others there, but I noticed the little things that added up over time. Like how no one would react or talk about the stories I post, but if someone else shares theirs, then the entire server gushes over it. Or how one time I reacted to my own story with an emoji, only for someone else to mention how it's me who clicked it and I shouldn't do that. It was a very unhealthy environment for a 16-year-old surrounded by 30-20 years old, but I stuck to it because I wanted to improve my writing.

Even if I was ignored, they'd still beta for me as a chance to offer "constructive criticism." Artists can be very petty when a low skilled person joins them.

My skills improved, and I posted my second fic! It was nothing remarkable, but it felt like the first stone into the stairway of improvement, yk? I loved that fic, it was my crowning jewel.

But as a result, I started to hate writing. It was a struggle, I'd spend hours on two sentences while others on the server were bragging about their 50k fics. I hated my own inability to perform better, to write better.

I got sick of reading my own writing from the number of times I'd rewrite it in an attempt to format it better. I couldn't even bare look at other's writing or read fanfics on AO3 because I'd always compare their writing to mine. Break their style down and analyse it in an attempt to spot what I'm doing wrong.

I left the server eventually, abruptly too. It was for the better.

I swore off of writing.

For two years, that was true. I gradually came to reading fanfics again, but just looking at a blank document was enough to get me nauses.

By 18, Aot happened, and the boom in x reader fanfics.

Everything I've written up to this point has been ships. Not once did I consider the idea of an x reader. For a while, I used to scoff at it and label it as cringe, as if the ship fanfics I was reading wasn't cringe either. Elitism, I tell you.

I saw these request blogs and how posting on tumblr seemed less intimidating than AO3. How intimate it felt to have an anon talk to you about your own fic that you wrote for them, to have people discussing your writing and stories with you! And they ask for more!

Sign me tf up.

I started my first writing blog, and I didn't know shit. I learned as I went. The new formatting, the tumblr tag system, creating a masterlist.

How important presentation is in here.

In AO3, your fic has the same chance of being read as any other one. Only your description is there to judge it by. But on tumblr? The shiny bookcover was almost as important as the material inside. In here, you have to market your own fic, present it with a lovely bow on top, add a pretty eyecatching header, and all the right trending tags.

Luckily, it clicked easy for me. I used free domian paintings from past centuries to make my covers, and they stood out amongst the anime cover galore. It was a little pretentious, I admit, but I also was a little pretentious, so it's alright.

I played my cards right, answered requests enthusiastically, and delivered fics at a fast rate. Paid attention to what styles worked best and what genres attracted more attention. At that point, it was a numbers game for me. Play marketing right, and you'll win at capitalism.

It felt very degrading and dirty.

My personal style fazed out, and my fics had a sanitised safe for mass consume feel to it. It was written to appeal to you rather than written out of any real love or passion.

It was soulless garbage.

Not to mention at the time I still used the same unhealthy and needlessly convoluted writing method I learned from that server. Yes I cut ties with them but I still didn't have any other alternative writing method to use.

What's that? Just write however I want? Are you crazy? What like my 12y old self wrote on wattpad? My 18y old self would rather die than actually be true to themselves.

I was extremely insecure and afraid of being labelled as "cringe" I completely ereased any stray stains of personality that managed to trickle their way down into my writing. Not once did I write for myself during that time, and not once did I actually enjoy a single piece I made.

I hated all of them, I couldn't bear to even read the fics I wrote. But I still made more and more to appease the requesters, still forced myself to sit and write each morning for hours on end.

A tight timeline, an exhausting production and no friends or hobbies to fall back into and relax. It was a fucking nightmare.

What ircked me the most was how people would just keep requesting more without a thank you or even a fuck you afterwards. It's like it's a fast food drive-through and I should be grateful for any attention I get.

But I never said a word. I never complained because complaining drives away people and engagement. No, I needed to keep my happy chill imagine and never show any emotion or talk about my struggles in real life or writing.

Instead of realising I hated my writing because of its lack of essence and soul, I convinced myself instead that it's because my skill level is still too low.

So I searched online. I found writing courses I couldn't afford, and neither could I ask my family for money for anything at the time because of personal reasons.

So I put on my pirate hat.

Apparently, people don't bother uploading the scam writing tips courses to pirate websites. That's fair.

Instead, I pirated books from famous authors talking about writing. Read them and tried to apply their methods, ignored my own preferences, and wrote to fit their subjective standards of what good writing is.

I signed up for free trials courses that didn't require a credit card and copied every single file into my hard drive before the trail ended.

I had so much material to study. I watched youtube videos about writing. I really really tried everything I could.

But I still loathed every fucking word I put down on these pages.

And I hated how a general advice in writing was to "follow your heart" what is that supposed to mean? I can't do that. Others do not like my heart, It has been proven many times before so how about you just give me some useful advice instead you useless wrinkled piece of shit book?

.

..

...

You can't force or fake creativity.

You can fake an elegant writing style, you can copy interesting lines from famous books and apply them to your own writing, you can include every trendy word in all the right places.

But you can't fake creativity.

I wished I was 12 again. Writing fics on wattpad, where my style was worse than garbage, and yet I loved it. People loved it.

Because it was garbage with a soul, a garbage that had empty chocolate milk bottles and spilt sprinkles. A garbage that showed personality and where my priorities were. With kids' fingerprints in colourful paint and a toddler's fridge artpiece.

A garbage that mirrored my love for the art.

And I ruined it. I traded it all for stupid punctuation that I didn't even care for.

I was happy.

Like every other probome in my life, I ran away.

I hit my breaking point. The requests were never ending, the studying and writing books were getting more and more pretentious and contradicting themselves. I barely had time to eat, I don't talk to people or go outside.

I do not have the time for anything, I missed having friends.

I left the blog. I stopped writing, it was too anxiety inducing.

I got into videogames again, I enjoyed the text heavy ones. I chose to ignore what that implied.

They were so...beautiful.

And fun!

I made some friends, I was happy for a while.

Then, one of my favourite characters in my video game mentioned missing their parents, how hard the funeral was.

It hit home.

I'm not writing, I convinced myself with a lie, I'm just gonna put down my thoughts on them...in a google document.

See just around 1k words, easy peasy. I AM NOT WRITING. It doesn't count.

But I did write it. Not with any calculated formula or method. I wrote my thoughts like how I hear them in my head and what I felt, what I imagined the character would feel.

Then, I added some dialogue, trimmed the corners, and sprinkled in euphemism.

It was simple and bare, vulnerable.

I posted it. It never got much traction.

But I was happy, I liked it, even loved it and kept rereading it.

I was 19.

I nervously showed it to my friend. They mentioned how much they can't stand reading books or fics because the words overwhelm them courtesy of their ADHD.

But they managed to read mine. Very smoothly.

Because my style, my own personal style that is set to my preference, makes me write in small paragraphs and straightforward. I never linger on details or focus on one thing for too long, I always give breaks and seperate events from each other.

And it clicked for this one person who struggled with reading, a style that will get criticism in any serious writing circle for being too simple or childish.

They liked it.

I hate needless convolution.

I just turned 20 years old, I asked for Baldur's Gate 3 early access as my birthday gift.

I received it, I played it.

I fell in love with its writing.

Then I made this blog, and I promised myself not to follow rabbits into any holes again. To reject the requests I don't want, to write because I love to, because I find it interesting or fun.

To never feel obligated to any thing or person. Only write if I want to, only post it if I want to. And if I don't want to? Then I simply won't.

And yes this blog gets much less attention than my first one but the people in here, the anons and my readers, they interact much more with me and my writing. It feels much better to have a handful of people genuinely excited and curious about your stories than a hundred people who would only leave likes and leave.

I have never touched a writing course or a helpful book since then. I block every writing tips blog, I see. I hate each and every single post about writing tricks and immediately skip past it.

I don't care if I improve anymore. I don't care if people don't read my stuff. I do not care if my style degenerates so much and reverts back to wattpad. All I care about is the fact I love writing and I enjoy it, I plan to keep it this way.

-

It's also funny that I'm writing in English since I when I first started writing at 12 it was in Arabic. My first fic? In Arabic.

And I was willing to go down that road yk. Keep true to my heritage and culture, write in my own beautiful language.

But. I wrote about queer topics and stories. Homophobia is still a massive thing in our society. My story was more infamous and taboo than famous and beloved.

I had so many people coming to my dms to "educate" me about religion and sin. How what I'm doing is wrong and the message I'm spreading is haram.

It was funny at first especially when it was the quran that made me want to write in the first place. Because it's actually a collection of poems! It just loses its rhythm when translated to English. It was so beautifully written, I'd listen to it always as a kid.

But then those dms became unbearable and I decided to learn english to join the western fandoms instead. A 12y old just deciding to fuck it and learn a whole new language to write gay fics.

A lot of my struggles in writing at 12-17 was because I was still learning English at the time.

This was fun. Thank you so much for asking this, anon! I had the chance to reminisce about the past.

I made so many mistakes. But I'd rather having made them and reached this point of content with myself than not having made them at all.

[faultedloyalty]

ɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴜɴ

i don't feel like grabbing a new alucard icon and ofc i never saved the one on sebby's carrd so surprise derkila from mairimashita! iruma-kun attack !

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ ( ꜱ ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ?

i'll only mention sebby here because this is his blog, but i like thinking he's my mortal enemy . i hate him i love him . i just had to write him because he plagues my brain anyway, may as well do something about it

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ?

romance and smut . romance i'm open to, admittedly, just not when it comes to sebby ; i don't see him as even wanting it at all . not in a he thinks love is a weakness or foolish or stupid way, he just straight up does not want it does not give a shit for it and he will never give enough of a shit about others to want to give it . i also have a lot of reservations about who i could possibly write it with at all . overall i'm just really awkward when writing romance too, so that fuels it a lot smut though i just don't trust anyone to write it with and never will

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ?

honestly most everything beyond the above !

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ ?

if it crosses my mind . that's it that's all the criteria . sometimes some thought goes into it but other than that, not really <3

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ ?

silence mostly because i have to use my laptop in my kitchen and i write almost solely between midnight and like . 7 to 9 am most of the time

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ?

depends on what this really means ?? i write all of my replies in the moment, i never really have "drafts", but each reply takes at least over two hours

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ ?

not really, but i don't hate it . i have ships . they're just very few, and the ones i don't have i don't like most of the time

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ / ɴᴀᴍᴇ ?

zag :v after zagreus hades game . his impact was so real

ᴀɢᴇ ?

closer to 25 than not

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ?

late August babeyyy

ꜰᴀᴠᴏuʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏuʀ ( ꜱ ) ?

black and all pastels but yellow and orange :D

ꜰᴀᴠᴏuʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ ( ꜱ ) ?

of ALL time, the dark of you by breaking benjamin ! here lately, though, moscow mule by bad bunny and sign of life + </c0de> by motionless in white have been up there

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ ?

LOL this super terrible one called the exorcism of amarillo . it was really fun-bad though so i'm not mad about it

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ ?

grimm probably ! the one that was on nbc all those years ago

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ?

for pleasure, i think either headache by motionless in white, or the spider and the kitsune-like lion by masa works design . for my jazz class, hit the road jack by ray charles

ꜰᴀᴠᴏuʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ ?

Sushi all day tbh . since i can't eat chorizo and papas ( favourite food in my heart ) anymore 😭😭

ꜰᴀᴠᴏuʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ ?

fall ! until it gets too cold and then i'm mad ( but then i'm mad when i'm too hot,,, save me from texas weather hell )

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ ?

i do ! i have quite a few :] all of them i met on my personal blog, though

tagged by : @origami-assassin , thank you :D !

tagging : @buddharagnarok @dnangelic @praeteritus-memories + anyone else who wants to steal or do it !

[blessphemy]

✨ Fic Writing Review 2023 ✨

thanks for the tag @non-plutonian-druid!

the actual format of this game is this post but i rearranged it a bit so that i could hide my extremely long list of fics under a cut

Fandom fic events 2023

Murderbot Diaries New Year Gift Exchange

Yuletide Draft Dodgers

Murderbot AUpril Collection (open and accepts submissions)

2023 Aspec Murderbot Diaries

2023 PresAugust

We Were It // It Will Be Us: A TMBD Art Exhibition (open and accepts submissions)

Botober 2023

Upcoming 2024

Events:

i'm doing the Murderbot Diaries New Year Gift Exchange (2024) :3

Perhaps i'll post something for the annual 3/3 for Three collection idk (this collection is open and accepts submissions, and it spikes on March 3rd of each year)

WIPs:

Gift exchange fic

Absolute monster of a nullverse!network effect AU fic. i'm trying so hard to get draft 1 of this beast finished it's been beating my ass for over a year but i'm gonna Get It

Continue Via Solitude updates.

a 5+1 ASR bad ends fic that explores some meta shit. namely trust, forgiveness, and sci-fi horror genre vs canon.

Words and fics 2023

let's find out just how cringe (fun) i've been on ao3. i'm like. jeebus creebus i've posted a lot this year huh.

105,486 words of fan fiction. all of it murderbot. let's look at them going right down the statistics page (default sorted by hits, tho it gets kind of messy at the end with and i got lazy):

30,336 words of Via Solitude, an All Systems Red AU where murderbot has to do wilderness survival.

~5k words that's just a repost of Threat As Greeting, except with fresh interactive CSS effects.

3,346 words top 3 SURPRISING things you didn't know about the SECUNIT who pulled you out of an INCINERATOR (2023 gift exchange) outsider POV from the characters featured in Wells' pre-canon short story

1,502 words Aspec Drabbles (for the Aspec Murderbot Diaries event) it lot of fun to work with strict 100-word drabbles.

13,837 words References NULL: Logs From Project Murderbot [nullverse] the most purely concentrated angst/whump from the nullverse series yet. handle with care or skip it.

6,552 words How To Go On A Camping Trip - a guide for anxious SecUnits who are bad at vacationing (2023 gift exchange) i really liked this one tbh. fun standalone.

2,488 words Improve Your Baby AI With This One Weird Trick! (2023 gift exchange) my personal fic-titling theme for the gift exchange was "clickbait."

7,875 Alien Refuge (AUpril inspired) This is a Homestuck crossover, and reportedly the first time multiple people willingly interacted with homestuck-affiliated content, and they liked it. gottem. it's also pretty good, i did a nice job injecting homestuckism tone into the murderbot narrative style If I Do Say So Myself.

911 words No Comment: Shut Up And Dance [nullverse] fluff and humor. tfw your secunit friend (murderbot) is crashing in your living room and you (dr. ratthi) have insomnia.

2,922 words MetaMorphoSys (AUpril inspired) listen i NEED the next big fandom trend to be an AU world where people metamorphose inside cocoons. hear me out. HEAR ME OUT. in this fic we take the fridge horror of canon murderbot diaries and make it visceral, wet, biological, and ethically Even Worse. get yr Amena emotions also.

0 words SecUnit Technician Bingo Card it's funny. idk.

3,438 words nullverse reference sheet [nullverse bonus content] self indulgent AU notes

2,290 words Systems: Splorch [nullverse bonus content] a friend of mine said "how long until we get a fic with #oviposition in the murderbot diaries ao3?" i took the answer to that question into my own two capable hands at 7.5 hours. you're welcome.

2,562 words Artifacts NULL: Fire Festival [nullverse] slice-of-life friend times with nostalgia vibes. how far we've come.jpg.

388 words Entries shared by the Society for Conservation of Feed Artifacts (SCFA) (created for TMBD in-universe robot art gallery, which is an open collection that accepts any submissions!) wait this reminds me i have one more to post. i'll get to it.

9,314 words in 31 fics written for (Botober 2023) daily prompts. turned out to be a fun exercise and exploration of bot culture tho it took me longer than the month of october to finish.

4 fanarts of fics that i liked.

26 fanbindings where i printed out and made booklets out of fics that i liked.

2 translations.

3,080 words Refrain [nullverse bonus content] if you're unfamiliar with my Brand this will sound unhinged. if you are familiar with my Brand you know by now that i have a knack for taking literally Anything and treating it with tender loving care and unexpected deft so this doesn't even surprise you. tl;dr it's porn of two bots having a deeply OSHA-unapproved Fuck Session, there's no genitals involved, and it's tagged #Vivisection. it's pretty good if you're into robots and perhaps mild gore.

Rules & Tags for this game

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass, just keep on scrolling.

@fishdetective @beatrice-otter @snugglyeldritchjellyfish @ilovedthestars and anyone who feels like it

[salmonandsoup]

Could we get summaries of the member of the vampire mafia?

oh you ABSOLUTELY can!  hell yeah

i’mma try to keep these relatively brief but there are like.  a dozen members and i love all of them so much and i’m trying to make them all complex people who have lived interesting lives (even if i do have my favorites).  i’m gonna put them in order of appearance! and of course, this is under a GIANT READ MORE. because this is LONG. also each person is color coded just for convenience though the colors will repeat (it's just to like, separate each section). heed the content warnings where they appear!

GOD this took a while but i'm proud. if you wanna know more about the overaching plot lemme know. i'm just gonna tag this as "the vampire mafia" for overall stuff

reuben james kent - the one and only english himbo; a giant flirt, a whimsical little shit, and someone who never wants to become manipulative and selfish (he punishes himself harshly for his wrongdoings and is more than a bit of a perfectionist).  he’s AMAB, bisexual, and genderqueer, though he usually presents masc and uses solely he/his pronouns unless in drag (in which he calls himself “reuby fangz” because he thinks he’s funny).  born in 1853 in london, he was a tailor barely making ends meet until one night in 1889, after stumbling home drunk off his ass, he got turned into a vampire—so he decided to fuck around with the rich and steal some cash to bring back to his poorer roots, while also becoming quite a bit more cultured in the process (learning how to dance ballet and play the cello).  he made some friends in higher places who were also struggling under the hegemonic ideals of the rich and powerful, and so he turned them into vampires too so they could all get their revenge and escape, traipsing around europe and eventually fleeing to america in the late 1900s (of course dodging the WWI draft and fucking around with the rich in america, too).  he can’t remember what the hell happened that fateful night he got turned and he doesn’t want to.  he’d much rather devote his time to making the world a little more beautiful and a little more fun for everyone—so long as he can keep his impulse control in check.  (that causes a lot of problems later down the line…  just see what happens with feliks.)  everyone in the vampire mafia’s got superhuman abilities, but where reuben’s unique power shines is in flight!  mans can fly and he loves to do so.  he’s a sweetheart who tries to make everyone smile, but he has problems admitting when he’s done something wrong, which is where one of the big conflicts of the story comes in.

peter gibson - (originally created by @maxusthemad!) peter’s a soft-spoken but no-nonsense librarian who reuben meets and befriends when he’s caught outside as the sun rises (while in this world, vampires won’t die if they stand out in the sun, it does wound them and leave them vulnerable to attacks that will kill them).  born in the black dockside community of liverpool, he eventually moved to london to pursue whatever higher education he could squeeze his way into and eventually became a librarian at the guildhall public library.  he got roped into all of this bullshit completely on accident, though because of his and nicholas’ love of bookbinding and bookkeeping, he ends up connecting reuben with the people who become his closest friends (and becoming one of those closest friends himself).  he’s always wanted to travel the world and never had the funds nor freedom to do so (cog in the machine and whatnot), so he’s happy to help reuben cover his tracks and then travel with the gang when they decide to hightail it outta england permanently.  he doesn’t become a vampire immediately, wanting to experience life as an older man first so he can fully appreciate his new abilities.  his vampiric power comes in the form of both a photographic and eidetic memory, and though it taxes his body a lot, he can see and hear through other people!  (his powers work in tandem with the info broker of this team, riki, and those two get along like a house on fire.)

nicholas sturge - (originally created by @kotilae!)  a young trans man from an upper-middle class family who prefers bookbinding to embroidery (though he won’t say no to either).  since he sucks at math (regardless of how many tutors he has), he does freelance work with making handkerchiefs and doilies, and he’s a friend of louisa’s (their families often talk together and nicholas’ dad is trying to get in good with louisa’s father and brother, who are much richer).  they’re both trying their best to escape their families and the lives their families force them into (though, thankfully, nicholas’ mother supports him living his life as a man, even if he can’t truly do so until he settles somewhere on his own).  he’s very anxious and sweet, but also extremely perceptive and Will hold a grudge or a smoking gun against you at the right moment for you to squirm.  he holds grudges for quite some time unless that grudge makes him look foolish, and then he’s apologizing for weeks if he cares about you.  he’s a phenomenal horseback rider, as that was his greatest passion as a child, and he becomes the getaway driver and transportation expert of the vampire mafia when the brit squad is absorbed into it in 1933.  his vampiric power lets him speak to animals and “control” them to a minor degree! (it’s mostly just persuading them, but if he must, he must—they forgive him, anyways.)

eireann louisa lovelace - (originally created by @oops-i-accidentally! also, cw for familial abuse) first, she goes by louisa, not eireann; you’ve gotta be a very good friend of hers to call her that.  louisa's an upper class lady with a shitty older brother named lewis who wants nothing to do with their mixed english and irish heritage (their mother is irish), instead vying to find a way to gain the most power from the industrial hegemony possible and using louisa as a pawn and a punching bag.  both nicholas and louisa have been trying desperately to find some way out for the both of them; lewis is trying to marry louisa off to the son of a family of bankers so he can gain monetary and political power, and louisa had nearly lost all hope because lewis is the most wretched piece of shit alive.  thankfully reuben, peter, and tomasso step in, ready to stir up some shit to create a diversion for both louisa and nicholas—and so, on her wedding day, she escapes and they start running around europe and eventually america.  unfortunately, her ex-fiancé starts following her, devastated by her running off, though his intentions aren’t what they may seem.  louisa can use various bits of magic as her special vampiric power (with telekinesis as her strong suit), she's a chemist by nature, and she's 100%, hands down, the braincells of the brit squad (and a good chunk of the braincells of the mafia in general).  so long as she doesn’t have to answer for some conflict (because she Will just up and run from it, reuben and her get along in that regard), she’s a powerhouse.  nothing would fucking function without her.  she loves the punk aesthetic when the 70s and 80s roll around, and she’s a huge fuckin’ lesbian.  futch supreme

tomasso “tommy” scarlatti - (originally created by @darkysan17!  cw for familial abuse) tomasso is an artistic and crass triple threat: a hooligan, a thief, and a dancer.  he’s the runt of the family and the youngest of several sons, the scarlattis being early adopters and pioneers of industrialization in northern italy.  where his brothers wanted to continue the family trade and learned in their mansion in varenna, tommy found a love for performative theatre, especially ballet.  his family constantly brought up the challenges he’d have to face due to his awful stutter and his tics (not to mention his complete disinterest in running the factories and his sympathy for the workers). tomasso’s father beat him ruthlessly when he found him sneaking food to some of the workers, claiming he “stole what his family earned” and what was “rightfully theirs”—but that didn’t stop tomasso, and his resentment for the entire rigmarole only grew.  he eventually ran away with ninety-thousand lira (about $50 USD in 1890, and the equivalent of about $1,650 USD today) to join a troupe of dancers that travelled europe, and his father is still looking for him even when he should be long in the grave.  he’s the one who teaches reuben both ballet and lockpicking when they meet each other at a festival, and the two devise a plan to get nicholas and louisa to america and safety when all of their families rear their ugly heads.  tomasso is kind of childish in his sense of humor and constant grandstanding, but at heart, he’s a true artist and explorer. while most of the dances he knows are western european or american, he has a great interest in historical dancing techniques and theatre from other cultures (like kabuki and chinese opera).  he’s still self-conscious about his stutter and tics, to the point of being MEGA defensive over it, even when it gets him into trouble. he tends to play it off afterward, trying to use a tough guy persona to cover up his true feelings.  his vampiric power can best be described as “impossible to pin down”: he can walk through solid surfaces and phase in and out of objects at will.  eventually he learns to use paintings and photographs as portals, so long as they share the same subject!

finley v. a. seabrooke - (cw parental abuse) louisa’s ex-fiancé, and a man who was raised to basically be a tool.  his parents allowed him no privacy and invaded almost every single boundary one can have, all to make him into the perfect asset.  the only reason they supported his transition at all was because they could get more use and money out of him as a man than as a woman.  the lovelaces and seabrookes were close by the time finley and louisa were in their twenties, and lewis set the two of them up to be married so he could access the wealth and power the seabrookes held.  finley was overjoyed to have someone be his wife, especially someone as wonderful as louisa (even though they’d rarely seen each other, just the idea of someone loving him in that way was enough for him), but of course, louisa runs away, leaving finley heartbroken and terrified.  lewis stokes the fire and sends finley off to find louisa and bring her back, and perhaps to get revenge on the brutes who took her.  but the more that finley looks at everything that’s gone on, especially with how lewis seems to have some uncanny knowledge of events that haven’t even happened yet… the more he starts to try and unravel the pieces of this puzzle.  eventually, he too becomes a vampire and after rebuking lewis fully, he joins the mafia as a financial resource and one of the faces of the group, since he’s very good at talking to those in high places.  his vampiric power ends up being flesh-crafting (think vicissitude from vampire: the masquerade). 

feliks kaufmann - my son, my socially anxious, depressed son who can punch through over 13” (33cm) of solid steel (his vampiric power is super strength and bloodbending on occasion).  i love him so much.  i try not to play favorites; he is my favorite.  he’s 6’10” (208cm), 265 pounds (120kg) of pure kosher BEEF.  just… a pure wall of a man.  long story short, he’s a 2nd-gen russian-american jew (so his grandparents fled russia and the pogroms), and because he and his family in little odessa have like, ten mouths to feed and a tiny apartment, he gets sucked into the world of organized crime to try and pay the bills.  one night when he’s walking home, reuben starts to flirt with him, and while feliks is receptive, he’s got places to be.  reuben convinces him to stay still for just a second, putting him in a trance and feeding from him (though not to kill him; reuben refuses to kill unless in self-defense, and not only that, but he also refuses to become adept at truly hypnotizing anyone because the idea of holding someone’s mind hostage disgusts him).  unfortunately for them both, feliks, the eternally-anxious motherfucker that he is, breaks out of the trance and fights back, leading to a huge scuffle with him dying and reanimating as a vampire while reuben flees the scene.  now, feliks being jewish plays a big part here: because vampires can unfortunately be taken as an amalgamation of antisemitic conspiracies and canards (check here for more on that), and this happens in 1927, feliks thinks he just got hate-crimed.  he loves his family more than anything in the world and now feels like he can never face them again because he’s been turned into an undead monster who, if he’s found out, would Literally be proving the white supremacists right and that means there’s a serious chance of violence against his family and community, so he’s FURIOUS.  he hunts reuben and his friends down for six years, accruing more and more power in the criminal world in order to do so (he gets more members in his crew, starts doing vigilante work to gain the respect of the communities he resides in, etc.).  thankfully, in 1933, he takes a moment to think about what they’re even doing anymore and asks reuben what the fuck was up with all of that.  reuben genuinely was just hungry, and he had no idea that his actions would have those… unfortunate implications.  (like i said, himbo.)  while it’s not all hunky-dory, reuben actually apologizes and vows to help feliks reconnect with his family, and the two of them team up to fuck up the KKK and the nazis, so things smooth over relatively quickly.  sue me, i’m a sucker for enemies to lovers, and feliks is also bisexual (though cisgender).

gaspare “loupe eye” paviano - (originally created by @maxusthemad!) gaspare is feliks’ underboss and right-hand man, going from a thrall underneath him into an equal and a powerful, flirtatious vampire in his own right.  he’s a charmer, and loyal to the end, but he’s more than a little indecisive and impulsive at the worst times.  he was born to a lower middle class italian- and greek-american family in chicago, and much like feliks, in order to provide for his family, he fell into a life of organized crime at a young age and couldn’t get out.  one fateful day, he manages to save his boss from getting stiffed on a jewelry deal by pointing out a fake sapphire, and he’s able to get legitimate tutelage and claim to his parents that he was a “jeweler’s apprentice”.  he earns the nickname “loupe eye” paviano through these endeavors.  eventually, in 1929, he gets orders to go to new york and deal with an upstart there who’s been causing trouble… which ends up being feliks.  sensing potential in the young man, feliks slaughters the rest of the group, but leaves gaspare alive and turns him into a thrall.  however, towards the end of their first year working together, gaspare continually breaks out of the trance and resists some of feliks’ more grisly orders, his first real means of standing up for himself and what HE wants (which is big, because he’s been pretty aimless and just kind of followed orders up until this point—he has few motivations in life and was kinda depressed and picked fights a lot).  in response to that, feliks actually establishes a genuine partnership, turning gaspare into a vampire so that they can both work to achieve their goals.  gaspare’s vampiric power is shadow manipulation and teleportation!

retha “riki” harris - (originally created by @maxusthemad!) feliks’ childhood best friend and resident spy/info-broker of the vampire mafia!  she’s a bit of a clown, but she just likes making people happy and watching them go about their days when they’re happiest.  she also has a little guilty pleasure in reading a ton of romance novels.  she’s african- and japanese-american (and she’s also got vitiligo), but because interracial marriage was banned, she’s technically a child born out of wedlock.  however, there’s no drama here because her dad knew about it and wholly loves riki as her daughter (as he’s also in love with the man who fathered her—they’re both bisexual and we stan healthy communication and open relationships!).  riki grew up in the same neighborhood as feliks, and she’s a self-taught nurse who’s hustling her way up in the world the same way feliks did with the criminal underground.  when feliks goes missing, she looks for him doggedly because That’s Her Best Fucking Friend And She Needs To Know What Happened, and when she finally pins him down and pries the info from him, she decides to investigate the circumstances because there’s a lot that isn’t adding up.  throughout 1929 to 1933, she gives feliks the location of the brits for most of the time that he chases them.  however, she’s also the one to actually get feliks to sit down with reuben and talk things out.  her vampiric power is the ability to shape-shift into animals, which helps a lot when gathering information—and it’s the reason why she’s got the nickname “baby bat” with the group!  she likes to be a vampire bat the most.

amélie “ami” boulanger and gadreau boulanger – (gadreau was made by @neogeoandcompany!  he’s the lavellan of neo’s da:i playthrough) a pair of fraternal twins from bordeaux, france who become a pair of master assassins and traceurs (parkour artists).  cast out from their home for being “devil’s children”, also known as albinism mixed with severe melanosis in solely their sclera and irises (making the sclera nearly black and their eyes a deep reddish color—their bodies really went “okay, we’re sending all the melanin there and nowhere else”), they relied on each other to try and eke their way through the world, taking odd jobs wherever they could and evading the trouble that came with some of the more unsavory tasks.  (gadreau’s scar is from when he pointed out a few holes in the plan of a leader of thieves, and his tone did not sit well with the man, so he “gave him something to smirk about”.  ami made short work of the bastard after that slight to her brother.)  they turned to petty thievery as they grew older and snatched up whatever bits and pieces of education they could, until they eventually saved up enough money to make the trek to america.  ami stole away on a boat first, and decided to turn to thievery once again to make ends meet, knowing that far too many people would love to take advantage of a young woman who spoke little english.  she ended up encountering feliks when trying to steal from him, and he decided that he quite liked her gall and willingness to put up a fight, and so she became a member of the mafia and honed her skills with a pistol.  when gadreau crosses over, he’s very cross when he learns that ami has joined a mafia family, but cannot deny that the family she’s made might help them both settle their scores—and what the twins do, they do together, no matter what.  ami’s vampiric power is technomancy (where she can make machinery do what she wants it to, as in immediately picking locks and disabling security cameras with a touch), and gadreau can turn invisible!  both of them can also walk on walls and ceilings.  gravity means nothing to the double spiderman menace.

liesl “liza” kaplan - (originally created by @maxusthemad!) originally introduced as one of the first recurring Genuine Antagonists of the story (like finley), liesl eventually joins the mafia as the mechanic for all artillery and vehicles.  she’s a take-charge kind of woman who thinks she always knows best, and she refuses to put up with any bullshit (she has lived FAR TOO LONG for tomfoolery to get in the way of her goals and dreams, and if you dare try and hurt those she cares about, you will not live to tell the tale).  she is a very nurturing figure at heart, though, and loves to spoil people.  like feliks, she’s jewish (and also born to a reform family like feliks), but she grew up in heilbronn, germany until her family immigrated to the united states when she was in her twenties.  she studied as much biology (specifically botany) as she could, and her impeccable grades and performance actually landed her in the university of pennsylvania.  while she traveled to various farms to learn more about soil temperature and yield, she met a young farmer and fell in love, eventually marrying him and creating a life with him.  unfortunately, he died young and her children moved away, so her loneliness makes her a perfect target for a supernatural hunters’ guild to scoop her up and convince her of the threat of all kinds of undesirables, especially vampires.  she encounters the vampire mafia and swears to take them down, along with her compatriot ibán, and her being in her sixties does nothing to snuff out her fervor.  thankfully, for the three of them, a look at the parallels between their (literal) witch hunts and the rising tensions in europe is enough for them to reject the hunters’ guild.  unfortunately, the guild doesn’t take well to defectors, and after an ambush, liesl sustains mortal injuries and decides to become a vampire in order to keep doing her work.  her vampiric power ends up being the ability to control plants!  (she usually uses it to keep in touch with her garden and make it the best damn rooftop garden in all of new york.)

ibán lucero garcia abascal - (cw for exorcisms, familial abuse, and suicide) another Recurring Antagonist-At-First, ibán works with liesl to try and destroy the vampire mafia, but becomes the religious expert for the vampire mafia.  when we meet him, he’s a priest and exorcist, though his methods kind of put the vatican at arm’s length (insert “i don’t know… that’s scary!” comic here).  he was born in ciudad juarez in northern mexico, but his family moved to what would become white sands, new mexico before he was three, so he’s got dual citizenship.  his family was deeply religious, and so he became a devout catholic, though that didn’t stop his family from worrying about his eccentricities, his grandfather especially.  ibán didn’t care to partake in the usual communal activities, and hated to be touched unless he sought out comfort.  he often played alone and had trouble keeping eye contact, and while he knew quite a lot for his age, he could not understand other people and spoke bluntly and callously.  all of this led to his grandfather trying to exorcize him when he was eight, which didn’t exactly stop the problems, but it taught ibán to repress like nobody’s business and gave him a serious fear of vulnerability and hatred for his own mind.  (turns out, ibán is autistic and not, in fact, possessed by a demon.  but mental health solutions are not exactly amazing in the 1910s, so we get the lovechild of john ward from the FAITH horror game series and inspector javert from les miserables.)  eventually in his twenties, ibán moves further east to alexandria, virginia, and becomes an exorcist for hire, fervently hunting down demons.  some of them were genuine threats, but unfortunately, others were either supernatural creatures just kind of living their lives or were other mentally ill people.  the same supernatural hunter’s guild that picked up liesl lures in ibán, and the two get along well.  for how devout ibán is, differing religions don’t bother him and even become a point of interest (if it means he gets better at banishing demons from all walks of life).  they both agree that vampires, especially, are unnatural monsters that must be purged.  and that’s how the vampire mafia finds these two, and through repeated interactions, ibán and gadreau find themselves constantly in each other’s sights (sue me, another enemies to lovers story, but blame neo for it too because he enabled me).  when the guild shows its true colors and it turns out they work for lewis, liesl actively desists and stands alongside the mafia, but ibán has a much trickier time reconciling with his own actions because the moral rigidity that got him through so much hardship is now coming back to bite him in the ass.  he very nearly jumps off a building before gadreau finds him and convinces him to move forward instead.  and so, with liesl, ibán officially joins the mafia and decides to deal with spirits in a more peaceful way (though demons still get their ass beat).  ibán’s vampiric power is a little hard to give a name to, but he can pull people’s emotions out through their blood and turn said blood into weaponry or tools based on the emotions in them.  so if someone was angry with him, he could turn that anger into a literal sword to use against them, but unfortunately, ibán takes on those emotions—so if he removes someone’s fear, he feels that fear, and they don’t, whatever the cost of that may be.

jenab bin tan zakaria (alias miles cintaku) - (originally created by @maxusthemad! cw for family murder) the last member of the team!  max describes him as kind of like if dexter morgan and patrick jane had a vigilante-justice fueled murder fusion—while he is incredibly empathetic to those who are struggling, he has nothing but rage for those who prey on the inequalities of a system that forces such.  he’s unfortunately condescending and myopic, refusing to take help unless he absolutely needs it and things are his way or the highway more times than not, but his wit and his sense of justice and family bring him through.  he comes to the mafia in the late 1950s, early 1960s, so there’s a bit of a jump (though perhaps he’ll be in the background for keen eyes to spot).  he’s the “therapist” and interrogator of the group when he officially joins (yes, yes, conflict of interest, but none of these guys can like.  go to any old therapist and jenab does know what he’s doing).  he was born in perak, malaya in 1921 to an english father and a malay mother.  he grew up to become fascinated with the workings of the mind, especially with morbid disgust in what causes people to commit horrible acts against each other.  he graduated from universiti pendidikan sultan idris with a doctorate of psychology focusing on behavioral health, and a minor in anatomy.  the mask of the studious and quiet young man hid a growing rage and antipathy, and soon he held the corpse of a sex pest stalker in his own hands.  the rush and satisfaction of removing such a disgusting person from the world led him to becoming more than a bit of a vigilante killer, finding those who committed terrible deeds and giving them some extrajudicial justice.  he moved around during his youth, but eventually became a school counselor in kuala lumpur and met a young woman named fariza, who captured his heart.  he eventually decided to settle down with her and marry her in 1948, giving up his vigilante work in order to focus on making things safe for fariza and their coming daughter, khatijah.  unfortunately, tragedy struck soon after, and another serial killer who went by the moniker of navy james killed fariza before khatijah was born and left malaysia before jenab could bring him to justice.  this sends him spiraling into a deep depression, but it also fuels the flame to go back to his vigilante ways.  he taunts navy james by killing another scumbag and using the killer’s tag, and then starts to hunt him down across the globe.  when he comes across the vampire mafia, he offers his services and expertise in exchange for their resources, but found family strikes again!  shit!  he kind of loves all of them now.  his vampiric power is possession and the ability to have his spirit leave his body temporarily.

[andromedaexists]

WUPDATE: CALL ME ICARUS

𝚆𝚎𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙰𝚞𝚐𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝟸𝟺𝚝𝚑

<I am working on transferring my old writing to this new blog. In an attempt to not over-saturate my taglist, I will be scheduling these for every other day until I am up to date. If you would prefer I remove you from the tag list until this transfer is complete, please let me know!>

I think imma start doing regular WIP updates on Wednesdays. Writing this book has absolutely become a hyperfixation and I feel like I always have something to share!

This week, I finished the first draft for chapter 2 of Call Me Icarus! We have bumped up to 17 pages, or 4,593 words. Once again, these will become longer as I make the second draft, as I have a hard time with filling all the details of each scene because my brain is always too far ahead in the story!

This week, I happened along a lovely list of Vile OC asks (thanks for sharing that, @/flowerprose) and have been answering them. If y'all haven’t already seen the list and want to learn more about the characters of this story, make sure to check out this post and send me asks!!

As always, the excerpt from the new chapter will be under the cut, as this post always tends to get a bit long lol

Chapter 2 is the start of the hunt for information on Icarus’ end! So we got to spend the morning in a café with him as he read important documents and had a chat with our new friend Andromeda

Chapter 2’s excerpt:

Focusing back on the person in front of him, he came to a decision, praying it won’t come back to bite him in the future. He sets the paper he’s holding down on the table, turns it so that it is facing Andromeda, and slides it towards them, mumbling “Information.” 

He watched as Andromeda’s eyebrow lifted, seemingly interested in what type of information they were about to read. They then picked up the piece of paper, taking their time in reading every word printed on it. Icarus thinks they might not know just how classified this information is, as he only knows because it’s Daedalus. He knows every square inch of the monster, having been raised by it. Still, it’s pretty evident that the information on the page is not public knowledge.

“Holy shit,” the whispered words come as Andromeda lowers the paper back to the table, a shocked look on their face. “Holy shit, how did you get this?”

Also, because I’m feeling nice and I really like the fact that Andromeda is just adopting my piece of shit mc:

“Hun, you look like you are going to fall asleep at any minute.” Andromeda’s eyebrows pinch together as the corners of their mouth tug down. Icarus can tell that they are trying to catch his eyes, but he is far too tired to entertain the thought of maintaining any form of eye contact. Instead, he places his delicious cup of coffee back down on the table and picks up the sheet of paper that he was reading earlier. Silence stretches between the two for a moment before Andromeda sighs, “Alright, not gonna talk about your fucked up sleep schedule. Got it. Whatchya readin?”

At this rate it won’t be long before we start hitting hard packed action scenes! We do have a lot of information to find, after all, and only a limited number of ways to do so

tag list: 

@/flowerprose @/isherwoodj @/cream-and-tea @/touchingmadness @/lockejhaven @/marinesocks @/wildswrites @/the-finch-address @/writingpotato07 @/leighvalentin @/inkspellangel @/cljordan-imperium @/outpost51 @/alleahgrinnon

Please fill out this form to be added or ask to be removed!

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

Word Find Tag

I was tagged by @starlit-hopes-and-dreams

I have no idea which WIP to do this with, so I'll do it with all, fight me.

I am desperately trying to shovel a few of those from my drafts into my queue, so, uh, open tag.

Your words: paper, secret, read and search

My words: quick, thrill, threat, laugh, heal

Quick (Thorns)

“Oh, my grandpa loves deer!” The child’s voice was loud and excited, but quickly died down to a whisper when Aska whined, startled by the sudden noise. “Sorry, Aska. He’d love to hear that. But he’s not here now. He went to buy some new car-pen-try”—the child pronounced each syllable of that one word carefully—“tools. And he promised he’ll make me a new bed when he gets back, because I’ve grown so much! Mama, how much longer until he comes back?”

Thrill (Fancy Boots/Undeserved)

At first, Merridy had been less than thrilled about Damien’s insistence on inviting him back. She would have been glad to never see him again. A few weeks later now, she had to admit that he wasn’t such a bad guy. He could be funny, and he tried to help where he could. Besides, he cared about Damien—and that was more important than his lack of manners or her personal grudge.

He deserved a chance.

“Hey Riordan, if you broke one of—”

Threat (Glass Shards)

Not that it had been much of a choice. What else should she have done? Let Cedric kill him? No matter how much her friend had insisted that Damien was a threat, all she could see was a man without hope who had been terribly hurt. Who would have died without her help. Who could still die, if fate decided to be cruel. It was this thought that made her push the door open with trembling hands.

Laugh (Heal my Wounds)

Whatever she saw in his expression, it made her laugh. It was this laugh that cut straight through his heart. Her joy and her care and her kindness, he didn’t deserve any of it. He didn’t believe in any of it. It was a fleeting, treacherous moment, which would make it hurt all the more once she remembered what a useless piece of shit he was. What he had done to her. That there was no way for him to ever put it right.

“I think I need some fresh air,” he said, putting down the cup with trembling hands.

Heal (Nuisance)

“What are you gonna do with her?” he asked over his shoulder while soaking the rags in the sink.

Yeah. That was an excellent question. “Fuck,” Cedric said under his breath. His plan of getting rid of her as quickly as possible definitely wouldn’t work out. She needed time to heal, a place to rest and a few good meals if she should be able to at least stand on her own feet again.

“Really?” Yvan turned around, leaning back against the sink. He seemed to be done with cleaning up for now. “Didn’t think she’s your type.”

“That’s not funny,” Cedric snapped.