#until it can behave
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Petition for my brain to just shut up
For two seconds. Please.
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Would kill to read animal POV fiction that has the animal POV’s interaction with humans be like, semi realistic to the level of caution most predators take with large prey and/or competitors (including humans).
Like instead of the usual - “the human is such a weak, pathetic creature... so slow, no claws, blunt teeth… completely helpless without its 'Fire Sticks'. how is it the master of the earth?” type crap it’s like, the bear protagonist or whatever approaches some dude who spreads their arms and yells and the bear is like “FUUUUUUUUCK THAT THING JUST GOT HUGE. IT'S LARGE AND MAKING NOISES. HOLY FUCK.”
#A lot of this realm of fiction tends to severely overestimate how physically weak humans are in the grand scheme of things..#A human body ft. no tools has a pretty average level competency at escaping predation. WITH tools it's significantly above average.#Like a lot of human physiology IS the way it is because of reliance on tool/fire use but interspecies competition/predation is really not#a literal battle won by physical strength + teeth + claws (at least until the actual process of killing)#Intimidation and shows of strength/threatening behavior can go a long way. Healthy predators (who aren't unnaturally#accommodated to humans) are generally going to be cautious and may avoid confrontations they absolutely COULD win because#the risk of injury is judged as too high#And most animals can't weigh risks in the most objective manner and won't understand that you aren't any 'bigger' just because you#wave your arms and yell. That is why puffing up/spreading out as a threat display is so ubiquitous in nature.#Massive tangent but this is why I fucking loved Prehistoric Planet so much like the commitment to having its dinosaurs behave like#actual animals is fantastic and tragically rare#Like having a scene where a T Rex gets bullied away from a carcass by two much smaller azhdarchids.. Yeah that is probably#how it would behave. It's not a mindless killing machine it's an animal so is going to avoid confrontations it deems too risky even if it#WOULD win in an all out brawl. thank you so fucking muych.
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something something I love so much to think about charles knowing every detail of edwin's body language and not just that, but also about the things edwin does to stim or ground himself, and never questioning those little habits or rituals and just getting along with it, until it becomes normality for them both.
#yes this is about edwin being autistic#idk i like to believe that charles never thought about it#he just met edwin and was like “yep that's how he is and it's brills!”#until niko said something about it after seeing edwin stimming in several occasions or simply behaving in a way she *understands*#and it's just so casual and kind and suddenly charles just does his own research as he always does when it comes to edwin#and it just clicks in his head#i imagine that he'd try to learn all he can about it and about how he can help or do something about it— for edwin#cuz that's just how charles is#nvm this is so self-indulgent#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#payneland#charles rowland#edwin paine#charles and edwin#paineland#painland#paynland#dead boy detective netflix#neil gaiman#notebook entry
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(cw non-sexual kink, cis male tiddy sucking)
nikolai takes one look at ghost - at the stiffness he holds himself with, arms held rigidly at his sides as he glares ahead, each breath carefully measured to make himself unnoticed - and knows it’s been too long since he’s checked on his boy
all it takes is a single look, catching his bruised and tired eyes, and ghost all but slumps. nikolai turns, heading towards the 141’s private rec room and he doesn’t need to hear the near-silent footsteps to know ghost’s following. he pulls him down onto the couch, bringing him into the circle of his arms even as he weakly tries to pull away
“don’t need it, nik; don’t have time…” ghost argues but it’s hollow at best
“hush, sweet one,” he soothes his halfhearted protests and thumbs his mask up above his lips. “always so nervous; so lost...”
he tugs his shirt up, showing off his belly and the heavy swell of his hairy pecs; nipples already pebbled. he cups the back of ghost’s head, his thumb brushing over his exposed jaw and ghost is helpless to follow as he gently leads him to latch onto his breast
“i have you,” he promises
no matter how big he is, in presence or in stature, nikolai is bigger; encompassing his whole body in warmth and safety, the familiar scent of cologne and motor oil filling his senses just as the heat of his tit fills his mouth
ghost’s eyes roll back and he nuzzles deeper into his chest, sinking into him and lets his mind empty as he suckles
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soap didn’t mean to. he didn’t mean to walk in on something not meant for his eyes. he just wanted to check on ghost; he’s been so distant lately, different from his usual bad days and he doesn’t know how to help him but that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to try
but he didn’t mean for this; for guilt and a heated, confused want to chase through him as he enters the rec room and realises nikolai got to ghost first
realises they’re not just necking on the couch; that ghost’s lips are pressed tight to nikolai’s furred breast and not moving away, a gentle hollow thinning his exposed cheeks as he sucks, his throat softly bobbing as he swallows
nikolai’s cupping the back of his head, fingers drifting through the blonde hair at the nape of his neck and he looks so fond; like there’s nowhere he’d rather be than on their broken in couch with ghost curled around his body, sucking what must be a deep ache into his tit.
then nikolai looks up at him, frozen in the doorway and soap-
soap runs
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nikolai gives soap a few days before he tries to talk about it; gives him a chance to come to terms with what he's seen. it's almost adorable; how deep soap’s flush grows when he sees him, how he stumbles over his words and can’t quite make eye contact
but it also tugs at him that he feels the need to shrink, to brace himself from whatever punishment he thinks is headed his way; shoulders hunching in, arms wrapped almost defensively around his body before finding whatever excuse he can to run from him
run from himself
he wishes he could wait for soap to come to him but he knows lost boys and their fear of coming in from the cold
nikolai keeps himself gentle as he uses his bulk to corner soap; stopping him from running but also using it to show how easily he could hide in him if he just let himself give in. if he let him take care of him the same way he takes care of ghost
"but... but it's wrong," soap whispers, fingers tangling with a gold cross at the hollow of his throat (a cross so similar to one he’d melted down all those years ago), but he speaks with such clear longing; eyes wide where he stares up at him, all but begging to be told otherwise and it almost breaks nikolai's heart
"no, lovely boy," he denies softly and soap shudders as he cups his face and backs him up against the corner; hugged by both walls and nikolai himself. "there is nothing more natural."
he caresses soap's cheek. he feels him shake under his touch, his eyes already growing dewy, and chances drifting his fingers over his bottom lip. soap's breath hitches and he looks up at him with so much fear - so much trust - and hesitantly opens his mouth to let them sink inside
nikolai doesn't press them too deep, doesn't threaten his throat, but they are thick and wide; filling his mouth and comfortably weighing down his tongue
with a small, involuntary moan, soap closes his lips around his fingers and nikolai catches him with his body as he goes limp. he coos as he starts sucking; wrapping his other arm around his head and brings him into his body, hidden and safe and small
"my good, lovely boy," he whispers and soap lets out a cracked whimper. "you are not wrong."
he isn't ready yet, much the same way ghost wasn't ready at first. but feeling soap tremble and suckle at his fingers, nikolai knows he'll soon have another boy tucked safe to his breast
#soap thinking it’s wrong not bc nikolai and ghost are men (though that’s part of it)#but bc he knows the church would see it as a bastardisation of the virgin mary#the mother feeding christ; the ultimate act of care and love#and it must be a perversion; it must be a twisted imitation of something pure#right?#it cant be something genuine; pure; bc if ghost can have it… does thst mean he can too?#soap desperate for such comfort and acceptance; things he thinks he’ll never receive#bc he knows he’ll never be worthy of such things#never devout enough; never loyal enough; never well behaved enough#shaming his family and his church along with it every time he opened his mouth#he constantly chases this elusive ‘good enough’; always forced himself to be better; stronger; /perfect/#bc then it will mean he’ll have earned it right? he’ll be given the love he’s always yearned for but always fell short of#and nikolai who was raised russian orthodox? all he can see is a burnt out reflection of himself#he recognises the same longing he used to feel before he realised he will never be enough for them#that they want him to be a man he will despise and even then he’ll still be denied the comfort he wanted#and he doesnt want that; for ghost or soap#he’ll give them everything they want and more until they understand everything they deserve#we’re a team. ghost team#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#nikolaighost#nikghost#nikolai x ghost#niksoap#nikolaisoap#nikolai x soap#cod nikolai#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod
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people in the a little life tag being like "jude st francis is bad representation because there is no moral resolution for his trauma" i am BEGGING you to shut the fuck up
#i am putting this book on the highest shelf i can until you can learn how to behave#a little life#dante.txt
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#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#jiang cheng#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#lan xichen#wen ning#su she#jin ling#yanyan polls#several characters excluded because i think it would suck to argue with them online no matter what. there is simply no path to victory#if you debate wwx you're guaranteed to win. because eventually all the ppl who hate him dogpile him and side with you by default#eventually someone digs up the 200-page callout doc someone wrote about wwx 3 years ago. and then it's joever for him#they mass-report wwx until his twitter gets deleted. and it feels bad but i guess you won?#perils of mob rule i guess...central mdzs theme...#in this universe jiang cheng contributes to like 40% of the posts on r/copypasta. he wrote the navy seals copypasta 100% unironically#the only social media jiggy has is tied to his professional career...he can't be a bitch on main....#you can debate su minshan easily because lwj's stan army already hates him#and chances are he'll behave badly enough in your argument that the stan army will have plenty of material to cancel him with
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Tumblr needs a block feature that not only blocks the op but also blocks everyone who liked the post.
#im taking the treviso vs Minrathous Choice away from you all until you can behave#also standing between lucanis and people who call him a “leather daddy”
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in lieu of having posted any writing/headcanons/asks in the past few days because i have been *so* busy and unable to do anything fandom-related which is terrible and evil, i have a poll out of morbid curiosity and self-indulgence. i've been meaning to ramble here about how i feel about DC's lack fo Deaf representation and which Batfam members i would personally make Deaf, but i am mildly curious about the larger opinion and now i will subject you all to the question, i would love to hear thoughts/opinions/headcanons on any specific choices. (would love d/Deaf/HoH opinions esp but i'm mostly expecting this to reach the hearing crowd, so opinions from hearing ppl are ones i'm very curious about. if you've never given it thought before you are going to now or else /lh)
#necrotic nuisance#<- new tag for nonserious shit like this#batfamily#batclan#deafculture#i think not including bruce in this poll bc i ran out of options is *so* fucking funny so i'm keeping it#bc realistically i could bump off more tertiary characters like harper or jpv to include him#but i won't.#hearing people are seriously invited to reblog and share opinions or headcanons i'm so genuine#just like. behave about it.#i have personal headcanons but i will save sharing them until the poll is finished#as not to skew results#i also have a hunch on who will lead. based on popular headcanons i see#but i will also not share that as to not skew it#i'm using the Deaf identity as an umbrella term that can include Hard of Hearing as well btw#so if your headcanon is more HoH leaning it is counted#i do believe this is something most fans haven't rlly thought about#but i *really* want to write fics with Deaf rep and i have been waffling on who to make Deaf#so. this poll is also a field test of who you would like to see me (a Deaf bitch) write as Deaf.#and i totally pinky promise not to project super duper hard on them. (i'm so lying)#i will get back to writing and the ask games i promse!#tomorrow i have the day off after 4 bc someone else is watching the baby so ic can just chill#also *please please* if you have disabled headcanons for any batfam (or DC in general) character#send them to me. i want to see them. i would love to talk about them with you.#as an anon ask as a message as a reblog idc#gimme.#this isn't my usual content but shhh lemme be self indulgent.#both bc i'm curious and bc i wanna write Deaf shit so. we take a break from my usual nonsense for this.#i'll post writing tomorrow to make up for it#also i have to remind myself this is my blog i can do what i want with and not just be a content machine. yk
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cw: harry potter, jk rowling, transphobia
I occasionally see posts/get messages about the various harry potter references in the bright sessions, etc. and I've gotten a bunch of new followers recently so just so any new/younger listeners of my shows know:
jk rowling is a terrible transphobe whom I hold zero respect for and I haven't given a dime of my money to her since she revealed who she truly is. I want the whole bright universe to be a safe space for trans people (including the trans folks in our cast and crew!) and if I could go back and remove those references, I would. but I can't! harry potter was an extremely significant part of my life until...well, until it became very clear who she really was. it makes me so sad to think that folks might be finding TBS now and get thrown out of the story by these references, but just know that the people who made the show do not stand by jk, and that in many ways, the show is a product of its time.
#the bright sessions#harry potter#jk rowling#transphobia#I know there's PLENTY to say about the bigotry in the actual books and I think there's a lot of merit to those criticisms#and I'll own to choosing not to see some of that stuff before all this went down bc the books were meaningful to me#(this is not HP specific - another beloved childhood book series that was EVEN more formative to me growing up)#(is also something I've grappled with in recent years bc I think the author is actually probably wildly misogynistic)#(even though he's never behaved badly (far as I know) in his public life - there's stuff in the text)#BUT ANYWAY#it can be so hard to remember that we didn't have ANY inkling of her bigotry in this regard until 2018#all of the original run of TBS was written before that#and I'll admit I gave jk the benefit of the doubt in 2018 re: her liking that tweet! I wanted to give her a chance to learn and grow#and she did....not do that#but TAMA was written in that little grace period#and then a few references in TCT were taken out during recording bc june of 2020 was when she really started to go mask off#and so we were making changes in real time#we didn't know what to do about quidditch#bc we were like 'this is a sport that people play in college and it's just called that?'#'and it's already canon that caleb plays?'#and it wasn't called quadball yet#anyway not trying to make excuses!#just know that none of those references were put in with any malice#and I guess I *could* go back and rerecord all those lines and replace them#but I know enough about my original audio engineering to know that it woudl be VERY hard to make it sound natural#and idk I do think there's something to be said for not covering up errors in old work#I'm not going to try to pretend HP wasn't important to me#EDIT: I've turned off reblogs for this post#also this is not me trying to tell other people how to approach their own HP fandom#fanworks especially - there's no benefiting jo in that - and I think it's totally legit for ppl to want to take HP as their own!
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#can people please stop calling oliver stark straight lmao#like i'm not even saying he's for sure not but it is very weird to assume that he is just because you're like. mad at him or whatever.#he has always talked about bisexuality with more care and understanding and respect than is typical of a straight person#which is not to say he definitely is or isn't whatever; but i'm saying he seems to Get It on some level#whether that's from personal experience or character research i obviously have no idea but neither do you#and 'straight until proven otherwise' is an extremely lame way to behave. anyway. people who do this are lame.
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How do we feel about the idea that Sofia hunts Nell down so intensly could be in part due to jealousy?
Its very clear that Sofia is very obsessive about hunting down Nell to frame her for Lord Blancheford's murder. Like she doesn't really need to do all of that. She has the benefit of it being her word against theirs, and the social status to back it up, and they quite easily hold the appearance of grieving children seeking out justice for their father through hired bounty hunters and a 40 pound reward on Nell's head. And like, there is something to be said for the fear that Nell may eventually get someone of importance on her side, and as such getting rid of her permanently is in their best interest. However, I think it would add an interesting layer to the whole dynamic to explore Sofia being jealous of Nell.
Because Nell and Sofia are very clearly two characters that are supposed to be similar yet on complete opposite sides. Their connection to magic, their values of protecting their siblings, and their want to have control over their own situations are just some to name a few.
Yet, Nell is able to escape Tottenham through marrying Captain Jackson, and then continues to keep a hold on her freedom through the way she dresses and presents herself, as well as with the support of her family. She even gets offered tenancy of the Talbot. It's not without consequences obviously, we see it all throughout the show, but she still has a lot more freedom than you'd expect for a woman of that time. Sofia however is still trapped. Her whole life is dictated for her thanks to her high status, and when her father dies, she only just gets a taste of some semblance of power over her own situation through running the estate (though this would be on the down-low and probably with credit attributed to Thomas) and learning magic offered by Poynton. And even then, she's still disregarded and disrespected by the men around her.
It wouldn't surprise me if a large motivation in hunting down Nell for Sofia is the satisfaction of stripping Nell of her freedom. This woman, who is so similar to her yet just because of the family she is born into, gets to have what Sofia can't. And in a 'If I can't have it, neither can you' type of way, I think Sofia would take that and internalise it until it becomes all consuming. Probably convincing herself that once Nell has been stripped of her freedom, she will finally get her own.
#personally i think if Sofia was provided just a little bit more legal power over her own life#and not required to depend on the men around her#she would have a very different character arc#shes not an evil person#shes just trapped in a situation that she is desperate to escape from and she says it multiple times throughout the show indirectly#she has morals#like she finds thomas' behaviour distasteful in episode one and tells him off for entertaining the idea of making the trotter girls homeless#after already making them orphans#like anyone can act all high and mighty but if your father was just killed right before you#and that going forward you would be at the mercy of family you probably barely know#and that your brother who despite killing your father is the only familiar person now in your life that you know how they work and behave#to make a split second decision#its not surprising she chooses to save herself in the middle of all that#and like poynton is in a perfect position to manipulate her after that#he offers her power over her situation and control and promises that she would be offered a position in court#where she could finally have that legal control over her own self#and he reassures her#to which she fully melts cause until this point a kind word probably would have been very rare#i have so many feelings about sofia wilmot#i could continue forever#sofia wilmot#renegade nell#nell jackson
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he just sat there like a sad little baby😂
#he scraped his knee trying to do a backflip off the monkey bars#scream cried for 20 minutes until he wore himself out#and then his mum was like “you done?”#he said yeah#now he's getting a plaster#mum promised ice cream if he stops screaming#so now he's behaving himself#he wants strawberry#mum said he can have a flake and sprinkles with it as a reward for being so brave#he's a very brave boy :)#might try to do the backflip again later though#correction#will definitely do it again#the daily grind 💪#cm punk#bad blood
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people are discoursing about the laios and shiro fight bc that was always going to happen but i do hope that wave crests quickly and we can all come to see it as what it is: literally one of the best written fights between two people who are both entirely justified in their actions and acting without any malice or cruelty of all time
#theres a tendency - especially in action and faction based media (which a lot of fantasy is or is in dialogue with) - to depict fights only#as happening between someone who Is Right and someone who Is Wrong#and getting to see a full on beatdown between two dudes who are both acting in an entirely understandible way and who both dont actually#want to hurt the other at all - to the extent where their desire to maintain a positive relationship with each other is the SOURCE of their#conflict in the first place - is just so cathartic to see#like unpopular opinion but sometimes you do just need to Fight someone to work through issues youre having#like irl i would not recommend that extent of Force obviously#but if you're two people in a situation where neither has active power over the other sometimes the healthiest option involves expressing#and receiving genuine anger that is not filtered through a social buffer#like sometimes you just need to yell that someone is pissing you off by how much they invade ur time and space and sometimes you need to#yell that someone is sabotaging your ability to interact with them by not expressing any discomfort with your behaviour ever#AND MOST IMPORTANTLY SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO BE YELLED AT#BECAUSE it sucks. it sucks to experience and until you can both share that space of feeling awful with each other youre not gonna get past#it and you're not gonna understand each other's pain#i think they're both wonderfully well written characters and its a testament to their depth as people that i can so easily understand why#and how both of them are behaving the way they do#im still only like halfway through the manga but it is like my favourite character interaction scene so far#fred says a thing#dunmeshi
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I need y’all to be aware of the insane sibling dynamics Ganondorf’s kids have
#good ganondorf#imprisoning war#hemisi#Hero of power#with bonus merovar#Hemisi: chaotic troublemaker who loves to start things#Merovar: haughty prince who likes to bask in his privilege… but will 100% tackle his sister into a mud pile just to mess with her#Link: the well behaved one until someone opens the flood gates and he can let loose#Hemisi absolutely enables Link#But Merovar tries to convince Link to enjoy the finer things (and gives him tips on how to beat Hemisi in fights)#I think they’d have a fun dynamic#When they’re not all wresting each other in the mud
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i must ask: do they save falin??? The fanart says yes the mild googling says no :(
Are you okay with spoilers for the manga? If yes I can dm you the answer, if no then I'll keep it secret, I also have a link to the manga if you'd like to read ahead and get the answer that way, it's all up to you!
Here's a link to the manga for anyone else who'd like to find out the answer!
#ryss responds#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#dunmesh spoilers#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi manga#fanart can be from canon or it can just be wishful thinking#i wont say either way in this ask whats right and whats not#and its really up to you how you want to get the answer#but personally i would say reading the manga is the best idea#or waiting until all of the anime is out#the manga is completed so the answer is in there#the true answer not the fanart or google answer#so again if you want me to spoil it i can in dms#but its better to read it and find out#edit: had to add a spoiler tag to protect people not looking to read ahead and not looking for spoilers cuz some people cannot behave
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Oversharing 💪
Probably insensitive but if my disabled dad cannot function well enough to heat his own food up in the microwave, take his cup to the sink, throw his trash in the garbage bin, what am i supposed to do? What is HE supposed to do ? And how much of this do i question without being an asshole? And seriously truly what the hell am i supposed to do?
I KNOW he can do the above things. He’s physically able, he can walk, but he has pain and will sometimes faint bc of blood sugar and stuff. But most of all he says he’s too weak to do that stuff. There was a time after he got out of the hospital + physical therapy where he was able to walk around and do stuff. It was difficult but he could still do things like walk around a grocery store or do dishes. Btw we have a dishwasher — when i say do dishes i mean just simply put them in the fucking dishwasher. Idk. He doesn’t manage his diabetes well at all, so he’s constantly in a state of crisis bc he neglects himself. Anyways. My question is, if he’s too weak to do that stuff anymore by living at home (he works from home, so he’s not even exerting energy by working. He’s on his phone most of the time anyway. Cleaning up after himself is pretty much the only thing i ask of him), why the fuck is he letting himself be that way. If it’s possible for him to not be as disabled as he is, why is he not trying even slightly to make it easier on himself? He hates being this way
He’s told me so many times how one day he’s gonna get more physical therapy done and he’ll be able to hike w us and stuff, which is smth we all like to do together. He’s holding himself back — im not saying this in the dumbass way where will can overcome all disability but i AM saying that there IS a realistic way for him to improve and yes, he is too depressed to do it, but he’s also a grown man who has his family begging for him to get somewhere with this . You don’t think I’m depressed too ? yet I still force myself to do all this because I care about my family. You’re grown. You have to choose at some point. After years and years of this and after so many people support you, i genuinely cannot sympathize with the idea that it’s out of his control anymore
What am i supposed to do? Am i just supposed to accept that he’ll never be able to do anything himself and just let him have that? I’m literally fulfilling the housewife role, physically with tasks, emotionally, and parentally, and it’s disgusting to me. He works from home all he does is sit at home apologizing to me over and over about not doing anything, but still not ACTUALLY being sorry enough to do anything about it. And ofc i say it’s ok bc what am i supposed to do. I’m tired of wrestling myself back and forth thinking im bad for expecting anything of him -> getting fed up with doing everything for him -> thinking im bad again. And yeah maybe one day out of every 2 weeks he’ll have a day where he’ll clean the kitchen or get all the trash up that he throws down by his chair and throw it away. It makes him feel good, it’s great. But as soon as it’s done, he continues not putting in any effort. You are tired from going to fucking Walgreens? From putting the clothes away that i washed dried folded and brought to your room? So you just throw them on the floor and now they’re mixed with the dirty ones so I have to wash everything again, because you can’t remember what’s clean ? And you’ve taught your (now adult! Adult!!!!!) kids to behave in this helpless way as well? Now they think they can scream in my face if i tell them to take the garbage out a second time because they didnt do it the first time i asked ?
If it’s true and you’re tired, then you need physical therapy. Walking to the kitchen should not wind you, your illnesses don’t explain that. It’s simply because you haven’t built your muscles up enough to do that, which I understand because it’s hard, but what the hell. Our insurance will cover it so there’s no reason not to. Also, my dad is known for being lazy even before he became this disabled, so how do I know what to question and what not to? I’ve caught myself being an asshole to him but I’m also tired of him choosing helplessness, it’s so hard. Obviously he is never going to be at full strength, i don’t expect that, i just expect him to pick up after himself and just help me a little. Please
And I don’t even know if my complaints are truly valid (hate that word but ok -__-) bc 1. Could be way worse like years ago and 2. Is it really that big of a deal to clean? Except yes it is and no one understands how disgusting a house can get unless you are in this situation . Detrimental effects on my mental health no matter if i choose to clean or not. So idk. Or the secret third thing which is most likely - I’ve been depressed for so long, houses we’ve had have always been gross + cluttered bc of mental illness in the family, so now as an adult my threshold for what i can stand is very small, bc it’s been built up this whole time with no breaks. So yes it’s bad here, but I feel so stressed bc of the history of it, not just current events... I just feel sooooo trapped lol like this has been going on forever and slowly I’ve regained control so now I solely control the house, which has improved it, but it’s also a huge stressor on me, because the more i take on, the more is expected of me. Like how my dad can’t microwave his own food or pick up his meds at the pharmacy drive thru. LOL
So much oversharing and idgaf if no one reads bc it’s embarrassing and probably pretty dumb like i could be dealing with sooo much worse lol but im so fed up and don’t feel like going to get my journal lol. So yep sorry bout that but GRRAAAAAHH!
My dad is not evil my family is not evil. They are depressed. Not evil thats unrealistic and cartoonish and i think if ur response to this is to say smth like that i understand but u may want to evaluate ur life and relationships. My family is depressed. I’m depressed. Thanks for trying to validate my experience but it makes me feel strange when people view my family as cartoon villains when literally everything is nuanced and I’m sure that from their perspectives, what they’re doing is rational. Humans ok lol but i am very frustrated
#i dont wanna come off the wrong way so ill say: my family DOES help me. um. especially if we have company over or whatever#they will help me clean. our problem is that consistently everything is everywhere 90% of the time. people leave their stuff everywhere#belongings. clothes. dirty dishes. trash. food. bags of cat litter that they for once decided to scoop but were too lazy to take to the#trash can. you get what im saying ?? so instead of behaving like actual human beings i just have to pick up after them or ignore it until#sometimes weeks later. they take care of it#.. it makes everyone depressed obviously. but this going on for over a decade + me finally stepping up to try to fix it ~5 years ago really#builds up it makes me in a constant state of panic to be honest. i am so overwhelmed all the time just from this stupid shit. i don’t even#have real problems anymore it’s just this its soooo fucking stupid seriously!! but it makes me freak out. i have too much control and no#control at the same time
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