#until Luke reminds him that there really was still genuine kindness and empathy in his heart for his family

[gch1995]

The Sith genozide shows that the Jedi are just as willing as the Sith to cross very morally questionable lines for their cause KOTOR lore has recently been deemed canon by Lucasfilm (January 2020), so the Jedi’s genocide of the Sith species is therefore canon now

I mean, even if an SW fan knows nothing about the KOTOR video game, which, admittedly, I’ve never played either, everything we see throughout all six movies of the OT and PT saga and TCW pretty much confirms that the old Republic and Jedi Order are willing to cross every reprehensible boundary that they consider to be moral horizon events/deeds in their enemies. The only difference is that they have better PR in the galaxy backed up by the Republic government superpower and put in more effort to be more subtle about their abuse of power than the Sith because they care about being seen as “above it all.”

While Anakin is darker and less empathetic as Darth Vader in his methods, even by comparison to the average Jedi of his time because he’s learned to care less about being seen as a “nice” warrior “for the greater good” of the galaxy on the high of the dark side fueling his anger and his depression, you’ll also notice he’s actually more like the Jedi of his time in terms of how he compartmentalizes his guilt and justifies his crimes with that whole “greater good” and “necessary evil” excuse, rather than the typical chaotic evil Sith who is just evil for shits and giggles like Darth Maul. He falls into the lawful evil category instead.

The Jedi of the old Republic are only somewhat above him in terms of morality after he becomes Darth Vader because they still care about being seen as superficially “nice” to the general public of their recruits and Republic government, in spite of actually being just as ruthless as their enemies when they realize it’s easier to force people into submission to get their way from them “for the greater good” than taking the risk to do the right thing.

Anakin is still a Jedi of the old Order in mindset in the sense that he is convinced by both Sidious (a Sith who knows how the Jedi and Republic members think because he spent a lot of time with them) and himself that committing these crimes out of anger towards those who hurt him or his loved ones, a desire for freedom, fear of the unknown, fear of losing loved ones, and paranoia are serving worthy ends for protection of the Empire, Palpatine, his loved ones, himself, and the galaxy as Darth Vader, but he’s more brutal and less concerned about being subtle by playing nice in his application of that abuse of power over those he victimizes to do it on the high of the dark side, which is more Sith like.

However, in spite of being more subtle about it, I’d argue that most of the Jedi of the old Republic really weren’t that much better than most of their enemies in the Sith race. At least not after they defeated the Sith the first time around.,We spend the entirety of the prequels following the Jedi as they are basically plotting another genocide against the Sith race on their home planets. Yes, you can make a valid point that killing the Sith in self-defense when they attack first is necessary, but plotting to destroy their entire civilizations before and/or without offering them any sort of benefit of the doubt, any sort of opportunity to surrender peacefully, any sort of opportunity for rehabilitation, and any sort of warning ahead of time that they could get out of this if they stopped terrorizing the galaxy is not fair.

That is really fucked up, and we get no indication throughout the movies that the “peacekeeping” Jedi ever even considered any less violent and lethal alternatives to dealing with the Sith when their army attacked than immediate execution of them all

You’d think that at least Yoda would try to talk to the Republic Senate to find a more peaceful way to deal with the Sith. You’d think he’d consider trying to negotiate with them. He’s been alive the longest to have an idea of what the Jedi was like before the Sith. But no…He still thinks that mass murdering them is the answer.

It’s the same moral issue that U.S. government created when they decided to drop two atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki Japan in WWII completely out of the blue in the 1940s, killing and/or injuring millions in the process, so they could force their army to surrender without offering them any sort of warning ahead of time or better options than this mass destruction of lives to the citizens of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

It’s the same moral issue that Palpatine and Dooku created when they plotted a genocide of the Jedi Order/Republic without any sort of warning.

Yeah, I know the Sith culture is deeply fucked up and violent on the whole, but they are still sentient beings. The children on their planets are still going to be innocents. They deserved to know they could have had an option to atone for their crimes, be rehabilitated, reform, or surrender peacefully. The innocent civilians kids didn’t deserve to have their lives taken from them as collateral damage of the Jedi’s elimination of the Sith.

For “peacekeepers,” the Jedi of the prequels before Luke don’t really seem to be too interested in taking the necessary risks and steps to create it by being brave enough to offer any sort of compassion, patience, or understanding for those who oppose them before going straight to murder as the answer. Anakin, Obi-Wan, and many of the other Jedi of the prequels develop a very similar mindset after being recruited, not just because their government is under the control of the Sith Lord in disguise, but because of how deeply dysfunctional the Jedi system was being run/implemented. They weren’t taught how to be normally functioning independent adults with a healthy sense of security, self-confidence, self-worth in their own personal agency and personal beliefs, how to have healthy relationships, or how to think critically. They were actively cut off, discouraged, and forbidden from having any sort of personal independence, personal hobbies, interests, relationships, occupations, or lives of their own outside of the Jedi Order because Yoda was too afraid of losing control over them and potentially facing the dark side by allowing them normal freedoms, relationships, and agency.

Anakin, Obi-Wan, Yoda, and many of the other Jedi of the prequels were taught to use an exceedingly hostile and paranoid black-and-white us vs them mentality in the Republic/Jedi Order and the Empire/Sith in regards to enemies, outsiders, and potential threats to the “greater good” of the causes they served, the safety of themselves or those they were loyal to within that cause, and their critical thinking skills, open-mindedness, and self-awareness diminished as a result.

When you can’t fathom the possibility of even trying to take the risk to use peaceful non-violent alternatives to dealing with enemies by allowing them the chance to a fair trial, hearing them out, giving them a chance to surrender, giving them a chance to atone, then that’s a serious problem that often ends up perpetuating a cycle of fear-driven systematic abuse, crime, distrust, resentment, and oppression more than necessary, rather than breaking it. You can’t really break a cycle of systematic abuse, crime, distrust, and oppression by enabling and perpetuating it whenever it’s safer than taking a risk to stand up for what’s right, especially when you go around calling yourself a “peacekeeper.”

That was Anakin’s, Obi-Wan’s, Yoda’s, Qui Gonn’s, and the majority of the rest of prequel era Jedi Order’s biggest personal moral failing. They became so afraid of facing conflict and opposition under these corrupt cult-like institutions and governments under these shitty circumstances that they ended up becoming willing enablers and perpetrators of the very same crimes they sought to destroy to fit in under pressure to try to remain safe at all costs because it was easier than taking a risk to be vulnerable that was required to ultimately be able to do better.

No, it’s not just their faults they ended up growing up to be that way. The Jedi Order and Sidious were abusive, manipulative, and isolating systems that seriously compromised their agency to be able to feel reasonably safe doing better through finding better escape and healthy support. The government they worked for was corrupt. Anakin seemed to develop C-PTSD, BPD, ADHD, and substance abuse symptoms that never got properly treated. The Sith army definitely did strike against the Jedi first a millenia ago, and most of them were very corrupt. However, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Yoda, and the other Jedi of the old Republic did still have enough sense to be able to understand what was objectively right versus wrong. They had consciences, and not every crime they committed were things they were coerced into doing by the Republic, Sidious, and the Jedi Council. They developed personally selfish and vindictive streaks, too. They eventually did stop trying after some time, so I can’t just pretend they’re wholly innocent either.

The biggest take away from Star Wars OT and PT sagas is how easy it can be for the fear under systematic abuse, crime, enemies, warfare, and oppression to destroy both yourself and others around you when you don’t deal with it healthily by taking the risk to be emotionally vulnerable and open, and instead continue the cycle of abusing power to try to deny, take control of, and/or eliminate those people and/or things that cause you fear instead.

If you guys want to comment, you can.

@tragicfantasy-girl

@yoghurtconsumer

@wingletblackbird

@mynameisanakin

@fanfic-lover-girl

@fanfictasia

[aknosde]

Okay, you know earlier this week when I dropped a paragraph of a fic? I actually finished it, and the end isn’t the best so I’m posting it here and not on AO3.

Loneliness - (featuring my HoH Percy and Clarisse head cannons)

TW for attempted self harm and a generally bad mental space

Percy’s never really had a mentor. When he was young he was put in a few organizations as a mentee. The type of organizations that are supposed to make things easier on kids like him, brown and black kids with “authority problems”. They never really clicked though, sometimes it was him, a lot of the time it was the supposed mentor. He had never cared much, it’s not like they could help him in a way that mattered.

Then there was Luke. Luke who was tall and strong and quick and really, really, really good with a sword. Maybe some of it was a crush, but he had never met someone who he was so encapsulated by. Luke was cool, intelligent, and good looking. He was everything Percy ever wanted and ever wanted to be.

Luke left a bitter taste in Percy’s mouth and a scar on his hand and a distaste for soda. Luke left Percy with an even quicker brain and a knot in his stomach that turned into a murder plot for his stepfather. He drew Percy in time and time again with a hatred that was laced with unrequited love and left Annabeth with blood stains on her dagger and both of them with salt stains on their cheeks and the taste of ash on their tongues.

After Luke was Beckendorf. Granted Percy had had a bit of a crush on him too. Beckendorf was pure, not in the way some white campers might call Hazel innocent. He was just kind, and genuine, and warm. Percy looked up at Beckendorf, big, strong, brave, caring, and he thought this, this is something I could do. I might not be able to be a big hero, but I can do this. I want this.

Beckendorf left Percy with no body for the shroud to cover. He left Percy with inside jokes that would never again be completed and a desire in his brain to constantly be in the forges and to keep as far away from them as possible. Beckendorf left a hole in Percy’s heart that was filled by blood and guilt. Percy looks at the acid scars on his foot with a longing for the time when Beckendorf was taken by giant ants.

And after Beckendorf there was no one. Suddenly Percy was one of the oldest campers. A war veteran. Supposedly the strongest demigod alive. He wasn’t just a counselor now, of his cabin that was solely him, he was a senior counselor. Jake Mason sat in Beck’s seat and Percy cried because suddenly he was alone.

He shouldn’t feel alone. When Annabeth holds his hand while they wait for breakfast he shouldn’t feel alone. When Grover makes enchiladas in the kitchen of the Big House and they eat them together in a field Percy shouldn’t feel alone. When Nico comes running into Percy’s cabin telling Percy that Mythomagic is apparently run by demigods and that they made a card of Nico he shouldn’t feel alone.

It only gets worse when he’s back at home. His mom goes through their normal post-quest routine. She gives him time and space and love. She takes him to the doctor’s. His old prescriptions get refilled, adderall, meperidine. Sally tries again to find a demigod therapist, to no avail. They don’t celebrate his birthday this year.

He’s at Goode without Rachel and he has no other friends. He’s never really been good at that, the whole friend thing, and now it’s practically impossible finding someone who isn’t uneasy around him. He sits in the back of his physics class and eats alone at lunch and sleeps in Paul’s office during breaks.

A teacher hands him back an essay and there’s a paperclip in the corner keeping all the pages together. There is a B+ on it with a smiley face, and Percy takes the paper clip and sharpens it and tries to scratch his skin. It doesn’t do anything. His skin still won’t break, there is just a faint redness. Only after scratching away mindlessly for weeks does he realize that he’s writing words. Last words. “Go!” “Don’t let it happen again.” “Tell him I’m sorry.”

He can fill up his schedule with school and homework and swim and skating and basketball. He can wake up in the morning and eat breakfast and take adderall and carry around the other small orange bottle waiting for his skin to revolt against him. He feels disgusting and empty. Like a demon in a suit of skin that used to be Percy. He misses two years ago when the war wasn’t looming over head, when he and Annabeth and Silena and Beck would all hang out, when he and Clarisse had weekly midnight basketball games.

Grover knows. Grover’s gotta know. For one thing, there’s the empathy link. And Grover is calling multiple times a week, and he always asks how Percy is, if he’s alright. Percy lies “I’m all good man, don’t worry. How’s work?” Then Grover goes off on a tangent about pollution or some shit he saw a human do and the way he purses his lips when he’s worried doesn’t come back until they’re hanging up.

He hates it, the lying. He’s only told lies to protect others, when he doesn’t have enough information yet, when he needs to save them. Now he is lying for himself. How fucking selfish does he have to be? But he’s so lonely, and he can’t bare to lose anyone else. It feels like the smallest step out of line will make his world crumble.

So he lies. He lies his ass off, and he doesn’t know if he’s good at it, but he could be. When Annabeth comes over one weekend, all the way from California, and she asks about the pill bottle rattling in his pocket he says that it’s adderall and she turns back to the tv. When his mom asks if he’s made new friends he says yes, and proceeds to tell a mortal version of something that he and Beck did last year.

One day Rachel comes into the city to visit her parents. They’re sitting on a bench in Central Park and he takes the paperclip out of his coat pocket and goes to work on his wrist while they talk. It’s habit by now. Rachel stops in the middle of her sentence and gently pries the paperclip from his hands and in its place she leaves a blue eyeliner pencil.

Soon his arms are covered in names and words and horrifically beautiful drawings. Blue pigment against brown skin and pink scars, all swirling together. The pencil runs out quickly, but a week later, just as he’s about to take the paperclip back out, an envelope arrives. Sitting in the bottom is a new pencil of blue eyeliner. Percy throws the paperclip in the trash.

By Thanksgiving break Percy isn’t feeling good exactly, he’s feeling mildly better. Loneliness still hits him, in pangs. He’ll be walking to lunch and he’ll have to jump in the canoe lake because he can’t handle it, and swimming is a good excuse for missing a meal.

He wakes up early in the morning and sits in Rachel’s cave waiting for her to wake up. She makes hot chocolate and points out drawings she particularly likes, and then he’ll wash his arms off ready to begin again.

Days are filled with meetings. Meetings with Chiron and meetings with other counselors, trying to make up for being away at school. When he’s not in meetings he trains. Sometimes himself, but a lot of newer or younger campers. The disarming technique he teaches throws him back to Luke and he gives the campers a five minute break hoping the feeling leaves.  

Evenings are being tossed between one person and another. Racing up the climbing wall with Annabeth and laughing at the top and sitting there for way too long. Stopping by the Aphrodite cabin where Drew will catch him up on everything he’s missed being away or being busy. He sits on the floor of the Hades cabin trying for the fifth time to understand Mythomagic.

Every night since he’s gotten back Clarisse raps on his door at two in the morning and they play one v. one on the basketball court until they end up on their backs under the stars. There’s rarely any talking. It’s dark outside and Clarisse has left her hearing aids in her cabin and he’s left his back in Manhattan. Not like he ever uses them in public.

He’s still lonely. 

Maybe Clarisse can read his mind because she taps his leg and they sit up facing each other. He can just barely see her fingers in the moonlight.

“Sometimes people can be lonely not because they are alone but because they miss someone. You have a lot of people to miss.”

“Thanks for reminding me.” He signs back.

“Oh be quiet punk.”

They both break into laughter then, before she continues.

“Miss them. As much as you fucking want. I was in love with Silena, and she died, and Drew is a bitch about it, but she has a right to be.”

Percy is struck again by how similar he and Clarisse are, their lives and their feelings and their actions. The only difference is that Clarisse grants herself the freedom to do what she wants, and he’s scared to death of doing that himself.

“But, and do not ever tell anybody I told you this, a lot of people would miss you. You can pull away and feel lonely but you can’t disappear. Annabeth needs you, Rachel needs you, Nico and Will and Drew need you. And gods fucking dammit, I need you.”

Clarisse stands and pulls him up behind her. They part ways, heading back to their cabins. Percy mulls her words over in his head as he finally drifts into sleep, his body completely and utterly exhausted. Suddenly there is a blue-gold light, and he remembers Annabeth, and then everything is dark and there’s the smell of pine.

[gch1995]

@tragicfantasy-girl Anakin’s attachment to Padme definitely did have unhealthy codependent aspects, even before he went dark. However, to say that he only ever loved the idea of her is cheapening the tragedy of their story. He genuinely loved her because she was idealistic, intelligent, and kind, which was something he was sorely lacking from Obi-Wan and his relationships with his other superiors in the Jedi Order. Part of the reason why he saved Luke was because he was the son he had with Padme whose kindness and empathy reminded him of her goodness. He was capable of letting Padme go on most occasions before he went dark, though he struggled with it at times.

As for their relationship and their ability to parent their kids, I do agree that it wouldn’t have been able to thrive healthily for much longer, the more Anakin and Padme lived in secret. They would have needed to be openly honest with everyone. You would have had to get Anakin out of the Jedi Order and away from Sidious to some place safer. You would have to make it so the Council and Republic government were more willing to create some serious reforms, You’d have to have Anakin and Padme going to individual therapy, couples counseling, and some parenting classes before getting back on track and being parents.

However, I really don’t think it’s quite as simple as “they were too selfish to tell the truth and risk their reputations.” It’s more complex than that.

Technically, the Jedi can leave anytime after being knighted, but they haven’t really been given any better options for survival and financial well-being outside of the Jedi Order either, so their agency is heavily compromised. There’s no other sort of other professional experience, training, or schooling they can put on their resumes. All they know how to do is be a Jedi. They don’t get support from the Council. Most of them don’t even know their real families because they’ve been cut off by the Council since infancy-preschool. Anakin was from slavery on a planet their Order and Republic did nothing to help out, and his only surviving known relative was killed by a village of Tusken Raiders because their superpower galactic government and military refused to free her from slavery and help out.

Moreover, after Padme gets pregnant, if it gets out that Anakin got her pregnant to Yoda, the Jedi Council, and Obi-Wan, the first thing they’re going to try to do is take them away and separate them to groom them to be submissive soldiers “for the greater good” of their cause without either Luke and Leia’s or their parents proper consent.

After Anakin’s experience in the Jedi Order of his time, do you really think he’d want that same fate for his children? Padme didn’t seem as adverse towards the Jedi until the end when she realized how morally hypocritical many of them were, but do you really think she’d want for her children to be recruited to be members of an organization that she saw caused her husband and so many other recruits so much pain?

No, of course, not. The only reasons why Anakin was willing to harm Luke as Vader was because he was afraid of Sidious, afraid that Sidious would hurt both of them, brainwashed by Sidious for over two decades at that point, and desperate for escape. If he hadn’t gone off the rails enough to go dark, though, I’m pretty sure he would be completely against the idea of either of his children being soldiers trained for combat. He’d want to be able to raise them to be normal kids who had safe lives for 18 years, and then, when they were old enough, if being a Jedi was something they still wanted, he’d let them join.

Then, you also have the fact that Padme is the breadwinner of her family, particularly after she gets pregnant. Her job, her income, and her public reputation aren’t just important to keep up for hers and Anakin’s sakes. It’s important to keep them up for her children as well.

If Anakin had never fallen, and he and Padme had raised Luke and Leia together, they wouldn’t have been good parents, and I don’t think their relationships would’ve properly lasted.

This is not to say they wouldn’t have absolutely LOVED their children, but that wouldn’t have been enough to make them great parents.

Leia being raised by Brenda and Bail, and Luke being raised by Owen and Beru was actually really good for them.

(sucks they couldn’t have grown up together though, but the way they grew up clearly influenced both of them and was a huge factor that led them to become the great, kind, stubborn leaders that they are)

[emperorren]

My first impressions after seeing TLJ

major tlj spoilers after the cut

So do you know that John quote about how the movie addresses fandom theories or something? 

I feel like it’s really spot on. It’s like the movie deliberately flirts with most of the major question marks that TFA left us---who are Rey’s parents? What happened to Luke? Did Snoke manipulate Ben? What’s the deal with Reylo? Who is Snoke, really? Will Kylo be redeemed?

and then kind of spits on them, either giving a bland/disappointing answer, or a non-answer at all, as if saying: THESE AREN’T THE QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD BE ASKING.

It’s VERY anticlimatic, to be honest. but anticlimatic in a clever, deliberate way. I can’t say if I really liked it---I think I need at least a second viewing---but I can see what Rian did here.

So let’s start with the obvious, and for a lot of reasons the most bewilderingly anticlimatic: Snoke. Who the fuck is Snoke?

NO ONE. it doesn’t matter. Maybe he’s an ancient being. maybe he’s just Leia’s former classmate in second grade that had a crush on her and was rejected. We don’t know. He's killed**, and it’s over before we get any real answer, JUST LIKE THAT. He’s always been a smokescreen, which in hindsight was what TFA was trying to convey by having him appear only as a giant hologram. He had a specific function in this story---providing a Palpatine stand-in that the audience could immediately latch on for reassurance, but actually ushering Kylo from a conflicted teenage-like apprenticeship into True Villainy (?)---he’s fulfilled it now, so he can go. Bye Snoke.

Next: Luke. What has Luke been doing? Milking sea brontosaurs and reading ancient books and angsting over Ben’s fall and shockingly enough NOT fathering any magical daughters, AS YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW IF YOU WATCHED TFA.

Next, who are Rey’s parents. Aw man. that feels like a punch in the guts, tbh. Because for a while the movie actually toys with your expectations about that and there’s a scene (one of my favs from a purely visual/conceptual/symbolic perspective) in which rey goes looking for answers and sees some ominous looking shadows that you interpret as being her “people”. But those shadows reveal to be just another image of Rey herself. And then comes Kylo who straight up says that her parents were nobodies, just scavenger scum who sold her for a meal, and you’re like. Okay. Why did I spend 2 years obsessing over this?***

Next, what’s the deal with Reylo. This one is strictly connected to the question about Kylo’s redemption, and to me is simultaneously this film’s crux AND real stroke of genius. Because the first half of the movie feels like it’s moving on an enjoyable but predictable railroad of romantic/byronic hero tropes. The force bond is REAL! Kylo and Rey have UST! Kylo looks vulnerable and conflicted! Rey learns about Ben’s backstory and vows to redeem him! Their love for each other will save Kylo from falling completely to the dark side!!!!

And then the movie suddenly... rotates on itself. The story makes a literal U turn the moment you realize that this is not going to go the way you think and that---no, Kylo’s won’t be redeemed (this way).

And maybe love (well, at this stage it’s mutual attraction and curiosity and longing for somewhere, someone, to belong) and good intentions aren’t enough to steer someone from his perceived path (not yet).

It’s not that Snoke wasn’t a malevolent figure manipulating Ben; he was. But Kylo’s agency is MUCH MORE IMPORTANT to his actions than what the average Kylo fan was willing to admit, and the movie is a brutal reminder of that. Kylo isn’t just lost and lonely and traumatized. He wants power. He sees his greatness as a mission. He’s focused, deliberate, and willing to sacrifice a LOT of things to get what he wants. Including his father (he didn’t kill han solo because he hated him---he didn’t hate him at all, as he tells Rey at one point. He killed him because he was a weakness, something that prevented him from fulfilling his true potential). Including Snoke, his mentor, his master, his leader. (perhaps not Rey, though. Not really, if his last scene indicates anything.)

I think we all saw the cracks in Kylo’s armor and his obvious conflict and took it as a guarantee that he’d start the movie more evil and unhinged than ever and then make a shift halfway through the movie towards redemption; TLJ spit in the face of this rather predictable headcanon by having Kylo go a bit darker, then teasing us with a possible redemption-by-force-bond, and then shockingly upgrading him to Ultimate Big Bad instead of Conflicted Anti Hero.

(which is not to say that Kylo’s layers are suddenly gone or that he’s Really Evil---he’s no more evil than he was in TFA, no more evil than he was when he laced his fingers with Rey’s in the hut. He’s just refusing to be put in that nice little box that we, me included, wanted him to fill at the end of this movie.)

(he also kills Snoke instead of Rey, but probably not to save Rey. Not exactly? I mean, also that, I’m sure. But this man’s motives are complex. It was part of his plan all along. He manipulated Snoke into thinking he was weak and foolish, “a boy in a mask” so that he could blindside him. It’s unclear how much of his touchy-feely force bonding moments with Rey was ALSO a manipulation, and how much they were something genuinely unexpected that coincidentally helped him fulfill his plan. When he asks Rey “why does the force keep connecting us”, it’s unclear if it’s a honest question on his part. I’d like to hear your opinions on this.)

This also doesn’t mean that it was all a bait and switch---at least, I hope it’s not. The force bond is real and no matter how and why it was created it’s something that both of them will have to deal with. I personally do believe it’s the Force who brought these two together and made their lives inextricably connected. There must be a reason. Their feelings for each other are also real, now made more violent by each other’s mutual (perceived?) betrayal. This is going to hurt, but at least we have now exited the “they don’t even know each other’s name!” limbo for good. They know that... and many other things about each other now. Probably more than they’re comfortable with.

I also don’t think this movie answered the question of Kylo’s redemption with a resounding no, on the contrary it just made it clear that everything can happen. Kylo’s future looks bleaker than ever now, true, because it seems like he was offered AGAIN an olive branch, a chance of redemption, and instead he doubled down on evil. Sure as fuck those who hated him will hate him even harder, and I guess a lot of neutral fans (perhaps also those Kylo fans who were flat out counting on him being revealed as an innocent victim of Snoke’s manipulation) will turn on him too.

I feel like I did in the aftermath of the Red Wedding: shocked, traumatized, but also insanely curious to see how the narrative rises again after such a low point.

... I can’t believe I wrote this already? I was going to talk about what I liked and what I did not (the movie is hardly flawless tbh), and the squee-worthy fanficcy scenes, and shirtless!Kylo and omg omg omg Luke and Leia (okay that deserves another post) and instead I went full boring analysis lmao. Sorry.

** not sure if Snoke is actually dead. Part of me really doesn’t want him to, because I like eldritch evil in this story and I wanted Snoke to be eldritch evil, a sort of Night’s King that humanity, I mean the galaxy, including the bad guys, unites to rally against. Kylo is many things, but last time I checked he’s still human, therefore still worthy of our empathy. The other part understands that this is how a Normal Narrative would function, and that sounded reasonable enough until a week ago, but now? lmao JJ Abrams good luck untangling this mess.

*** honestly I’m not sure Rey’s parents are just that, either. Maybe the answer we get in this movie is another red herring. I think we can definitely rule out Re/ywalker or Re/ysolo though, because awkward hand touching and asking your nemesis to put something, anything on that sexy naked chest while you’re casually peering into his room via force bond is not something that Cousins Would Do, thank you very much.

[we-pay-for-everything]

A, B, C, D, J, K, L, M, N, O, U, V!

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

Bangel - a lifelong OTP.

Klaroline - a current OTP. I’ve been reading tons of fanfics about them!

Klebekah - platonically, of course! Klaus and Rebekah Mikaelson are my favorite pair of siblings, perhaps ever. They are so similar that I could buy them as twins: both are blond, have strong personalities, are brash, impulsive, often wear their hearts on their sleeves, are passionate and emotional, fearless and feared. They both demand loyalty and love but often don’t know how to give it. But they love each other more than anything and are together through everything, and I love their bond. 

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

I don’t think there’s one pair that anyone made me like, but on Buffy-Boards, someone mentioned to me that Klaroline was going to happen in TVD and my reaction was “Ew”, but it made me pay more attention to the ship. Still, I only loved Klaroline on my second partial watch of the show, so it didn’t influence me much. I think negative influences are more common than positive ones when it comes to ships, in my case. 

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

Spuffy. Really, fucking hate it. From moment 0. I may have liked Spike on my first watch of the show, but Spuffy was always a big no. 

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

Stelena? There isn’t a ship that I don’t like and wish I did, but I do wish I could see the appeal of Stelena. I know a lot of people, whom I like, that love Stelena and hate Delena - people who like Bangel, but I don’t see how those two ships compare. I love Bangel but like Delena much more than Stelena… I don’t see what my fellow Bangel fans see in that ship. 

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

Skam? I follow two people that really like Skam and I hadn’t given it much thought until now. And perhaps OUAT because there’s a lot of that on tumblr. 

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Oooh… Okay, my mind says Wesley and Faith, but my heart wants to say Angel. I complain so much about season 5 (in fact, to me, his arc ends in season 4), but overall I’m so proud of Angel. I love that through thick and thin he maintained his love for humanity, his empathy, his courage and his strength. He was the glue that held the Fang Gang together and, because of him, the core mission statement of the show: fighting for what is right, drove the show right until the end. 

But obviously, Faith had an amazing redemption arc. In fact, her arc on Ats is flawless. And Wesley’s arc, while dark and painful, is compelling and layered.

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

Oh, thank god I don’t have to say something nice about Camille or Spike! 

Well, I kind of hate Harmony but she was sweet to Wesley and Gunn after Fred died. I dislike Lindsey, but he was a good foil for Angel in season 1.

I dislike Lorelai but she can be quite sweet to Rory. I dislike Luke but he can be sweet to Rory also.

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Angel. Not just because I love him, but because he’s been through so much and can be so inspiring! I’d just love to have someone like him in my life, someone who can believe in me and help me out right now that I’m going through a tough time. 

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

- More Angel love! Not only Angel, the character, but Ats as well.

- More meta! I love to read it and there isn’t enough of it. (This applies to pretty much every fandom). 

- More debate! Sometimes is great to get involved in a passionate argument! 

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

This isn’t a random song, but a friend of mine told me to listen to it because it reminded her of Weslah and it’s so good! Everyone should listen to this song.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wI5hxEguomo

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Angel (BtVS + AtS); Angel is a fighter, and he has integrity. He has a set of beliefs and he’s incorruptible. He struggles and has his moments of doubt but he always dusts himself off and goes back to it. His heart is pure. He genuinely wants to help people and won’t ever give up on fighting for them. He’s the flawed champion we need. He’s inspiring and I draw strength from his strength, especially knowing that I’ve also felt weak like he has. 

Rebekah Mikaelson (The Originals): right now, she’s really a fave. Rebekah is powerful, strong. She falls in love over and over again (throughout 1000 years) even after getting her heart broken every time. It takes strength and courage to keep making yourself vulnerable like that and to keep having hope. She’s sassy, brave, headstrong, fearless, cruel, vindictive, fierce. She’s a Mikaelson!

Carrie Hopewell (Banshee): have to give a shoutout to my favorite girl, that few know. Carrie is a badass mother, lover, criminal! She’ll do anything for her family, but she struggles between being a mother and living in a lie (pretending to be a woman named Carrie) and giving in to her criminal roots (as Anna).

V - Which character do you relate to most?

Angel (one of the many reasons why he’s my fave). Angel is introverted, likes alone time, the quiet, to read philosophy and to listen to some classical music (he’s listening to Beethoven’s 9th symphony in some s1 episode). He’s also troubled. He doesn’t know peace or happiness (most of the time) and I can relate to that so much! My mind doesn’t fucking shut up. It keeps thinking and nagging me with thoughts of guilt, loneliness and self hatred. Angel has been through times when he felt hopeless and like he was worth nothing, but still believes that “if nothing we do matters than all that matters is what we do” and I firmly believe that as well. I believe that “the smallest act of kindness can be the greatest thing in the world” regardless of how hopeless some causes (including myself) can be. 

The fact that Angel realistically goes through periods of being more or less depressed, like a real person does, is what makes me relate to him so much in the end. He isn’t just one of those characters that goes through a period of depression but bounces back after a miracle in a season. Depression is a recurring theme. Angel is always melancholic and always struggling with fitting in and loneliness. Like a normal person, sometimes he wins the battle, sometimes he loses, but he always keeps fighting. 

Thanks for the ask, lovely! 

[getseriouser]

20 THOUGHTS: Josh Kelly to become majority investor in Channel Ten

MID-June, Round 13 is upon us, we are well and truly into the meat of the season.

Teams are out of the race, some teams are now preparing themselves for a full, validated tilt at the flag, others are now positioning themselves to scrap it out for a finals spot.

Player managers are getting busy, football media continue to squabble with one another and with the quick turnaround with the Thursday fixtures, it’s pretty full on.

Let’s get into it.

 1. Alistair Clarkson gets away with a $5k donation to Freeze MND with a further $15k suspended until the end of their season, ie. August. A bit soft really. Does he get a lighter whack because he was indirect in his language, even though the message was a strong as any? Or because the league found contrition in his appearance Sunday, half-time of the Blues-Giants game, an appearance he solicited? Either way, soft.

2. Now how’s about Robbo? He has played a bit of the victim here, which I have some empathy for as he has royally copped it, from the media and the social media heroes alike. However, he has brought this upon himself. Aside from the original tweet, and the sincerity of his apology, the audacity to then request an interview and as Nathan Buckley put it “feather his own nest” is a shocking display of self-interest, ignorance and totally undoes the good work of the initial apology. To then blame ‘heat from his editor’ is too equally disappointing. Patrick Dangerfield said it best when he questioned the accountability for actions by those in the media, those who are now bonafide, rightly or wrongly, personalities of the game. Not good enough Mark. Nowhere near good enough.

3. Cracker game on Monday and you’d like to think the Dees deserved a close one after throwing a few too many wins away earlier in the season. Without their All-Australian ruckman and emerging star key forward, this team has a lovely mix of pace, grunt and skill. Fully fit, sneaking into that 5th-8th bracket, they are quintessentially the team who could scare from the bottom part of the eight ala the Dogs of last year, if they were to find some real form in the lead up to September.

4. As for Collingwood, this is going to be such a fine line you feel come year’s end. Finally you are starting to see the kind of side that could win finals break out of Buckley’s program, but has he had too much time? Their last five weeks has yielded three wins, a four-point loss and one-point loss, its good form. But whether a 9th, 10th or 11th with a bullet saves Buckley is very hard to judge. Going to be interesting to say the least.

5. Jaeger O’Meara is a story not being told enough right now. The Hawks have mortgaged the mortgage on he and Tom Mitchell, bereft of any draft pick for the best part of two years so they could get both lads into the club. The latter, Mitchell, is a lock for the All-Australian squad, so you tick that box. However, the former Rising Star winner is anything but a success yet, struggling to get on the park. Why? He has a knee with the structural integrity of David Strassman’s Chucky doll. His patella tendon was severely ruptured and he’ll never fully recover from it. Some clubs medical view, when appraising the worth of chasing the former-Sun last off-season, was he’d be lucky to ever get back to his best, perhaps ever put together a full season again. This is all predication and a prognosis is always just a prognosis, but given the last month or so’s lack of progress, it looks very gloomy for the Hawks without any real confidence for optimism.

6. How about Liam Jones on the weekend? One of the genuine good news stories of the year. Sure, Bulldogs fans have every right to shrug the performance off, they know all too well the tease he was and were happy to be rid of him, a subsequent drought-breaking flag definitely helped. But two and a half years into a three-year contract, one seen as a massive failure and a certainty not to be renewed, to take down Jono Patton comprehensively, effecting 12 spoils in a one-point win, enormous. Well done to him.

7. Essendon showed on the weekend what to expect in 2018. Don’t be too concerned about finals this year, in fact getting in and losing first week would be fantastic. But this team has such a September blue print about it, another 12 months and they are top four material, and from there of course the world is their oyster. Look out.

8. Sydney on the other hand, not so sure about them, and as a result the Bulldogs. I think we stick with the Swans being done, not rubbish and bottoming-out done but they aren’t making the finals and shouldn’t be unless the world caves in and this becomes the weirdest season ever. But we are trusting the Dogs because of last year – but we must remind ourselves, they somewhat scraped into 7th last year, they were definitely good enough for finals, but don’t remember their September campaign, as utterly brilliant as it was, was not reflective of their home and away year.

9. Some player movement stuff, because it comes in – firstly Nat Fyfe. Looks as though he will stay, but what is clear is he definitely exercised the look to a Melbourne move. St Kilda didn’t really stop their interest in Fyfe, that’s not right, what has occurred is they now believe Josh Kelly is in their grasp, which we will touch on next. So Fyfe staying at Freo is a fair bit to do with the Saints focusing their pockets of overflowing cash elsewhere. Carlton hasn’t ruled Fyfe out though, but that would be doubtful, they really like Lachie Whitfield.

10. So Kelly, he knows GWS’ offer and that’s two years at decent coin. St Kilda is offering better money and term, the Roos are offering better again. Tough call. Hard to ignore the Victorian money, and security, but I don’t think he has decided. He could stay. After thinking Josh Schache was a certainty, the idea of staying might be remerging – success over salary. The smart call might be to pick the Saints and hope you win a flag there, but this one is up in the air for sure.

11. On Schache, the Tigers are stiff. They thought they had him. They had made him a priority and were making decisions around his acquisition. His two-year deal to stay at Brisbane shocked them and now it’s about Plan B at Punt Rd.

12. Collingwood are trying to change Jackson Trengove’s mind. The Port defender come relief ruckman is out of contract, a free agent, and yet to re-sign at Alberton but the word is he is unlikely to leave. But the Pies see his value and are prepared to offer him a thought-provoking deal to bring him back home to Melbourne. This will test how persuasive the Pies can be, they’re making all the right noises to him, so watch this space.

13. Almost as a backup plan it seems, but Sydney’s Sam Reid is the Pies fall back if Trengove follows Schache’s decision to stay at their club. The Swans would prefer to move Kurt Tippett and keep Reid, but if there’s no taker for Tippett, and right now there isn’t, then they risk losing Reid who if he was to move on, a return to Melbourne and choosing his brother Ben’s club would be a fait acompli. But it appears the Pies are prioritising Trengove, mind you they may be well happy with Reid worst case anyway.

14. Jason Johannisen, I have that at 50-50. But I think he stays if I have to pick right now. There are persuasive reasons to leave Melbourne, good cash, closure from some issues here, but I credit Luke Beveridge for being a great man manager and alongside some related reasons to stay to those that see him leave, I think the Doggies hold onto the Norm Smith medallist.

15. Zak Jones is 80-20 to be a Demon next year. Melbourne has followed his progress, would like to add another piece in their build towards top four contention, and given his brother happens to be the co-captain, it’s a strong case they can put to the young Swan. I think the Dees get their man.

16. Tom Rockliff will be on the market again this off-season, in different circumstances mind you, but whilst he has performed more than admirably in recommitting to the Lions for 2017, his contract demands are turning Melbourne clubs away. Collingwood was one who was keen, who won’t be now/anymore, but others such as Hawthorn and St Kilda who are tempted by the free agent are now thinking against the idea. Rockliff would be a useful piece, and transaction for someone, but right now it’s looking long odds.

17. Quick one on Dustin Martin, if Kelly stays in Sydney then I wander if the chequebook rolls out from Moorabbin for the free agent. It would make a lot of sense; they can definitely pay him more than the Tigers.

18. Could Gaz win the Brownlow? Right now, in a Suns side that is looking a bit better than we’d first thought, he would have probably three best-on-grounds to this point, maybe accumulating 10-13 votes, which would be maybe three or four off the lead. Now, not suggesting he should be favourite, but if he is fit, even in a fledgling Gold Coast team, we know he polls and polls well. A watch.

19.   The runner issues with Nick Maxwell – please, its like all the fare evaders who catch Melbourne trams every day. So many are doing it but one gets caught and we want to pigeon that person for being the one bad egg. All the runners do something similar, or at least if you scrutinise closely are conducting themselves in a way that wouldn’t please City Hall or the fans alike. We just never check or notice.

20. And finally this week, Jeremy Howe is a victim of his own prowess. His mark on Monday was that good yet failed to get the absolute kudos it might deserve because he does it every second week. Mind you, for the best marks of all time, two that still stick in my mind, one I saw live, one from the pages of history – check out Michael ‘Disco’ Roach’s screamer against Hawthorn, and then Chris Tarrant’s speccy on Queen’s Birthday many years ago, which was usurped for Mark of the Year just four days later, by Gary Moorcroft standing on Brad Johnson’s back. Biased or not, Tarrant’s mark was just massive.

 (originally published June 15)