#until I handle what’s currently in my ask box. this should hopefully just be for the weekend or early next week at the latest

[sand-worms]

I’m likely not going to be online much tomorrow so I’ve scheduled a number of asks I’ve received for aid to post through a chunk of the day as a heads up 👍

[wildsupernova]

too sweet.

summary: she was too sweet for him, everybody knew that. still, he couldn’t stay away, and neither could she, even when the sugar made his head spin and the bitterness burned her throat.

pairing: steve harrington x reader

warnings: brief mentions of sexual content, nothing too serious really

word count: 900

a/n: hey! just wanted get something up while i work on some longer pieces. i’m currently finishing up my second semester of my second year of college, so i haven’t had time or energy to write much of anything lately. figured i’d write a little blurb when i got the time to keep the content coming for you guys. anyway, hope you enjoy! hopefully new longer content will be coming soon. if you enjoy, leave a like, reblog, or a comment, whatever, any little bit of engagement helps. :)

masterlist | prompts list

She was too good for Steve, everyone knew that. She was a delicate, well groomed rose bush and he was the patch of weeds that grew in her planter box, stealing every last bit of water from her until her leaves turned brown and fell from her stem. He wasn’t someone a girl like her should ever be associating with, but something kept him coming back to her, and her to him. 

They didn’t speak in school, sharing stolen glances from across the hall, soft stares that turned desperate when they were filled with memories of two nights ago. To Steve’s friends, she was nothing more than a conquest, and to hers he was nothing more than a walking red warning sign telling her to run the other way. To each other, they were something they couldn’t quite name, unsure if it was love or boredom or something else entirely. But boredom wouldn’t have you running back to someone like this, wouldn’t have you lying awake thinking about them and your heart racing every time you shared a glance. 

He was the type to fall asleep when the sky was dark and wake long after the birds had already started singing, and she never crawled in or out of bed any later than the sun. He’d tried to see her once, crawl through her window after every streetlight had flickered on, but she hadn’t answered his taps on her window, duvet blocking out any sound that might disturb her early sleep. Two mornings later and he’s woken from his own sleep by the ringing of his phone, her sweet voice begging him to watch the sunrise with her at Lovers Lake. He had complained and told her it was far too early, but when she told him she got up that early everyday he simply laughed and grabbed his keys from the bedside table.

He asked her once if she’d ever thought about sleeping in, or staying out late to watch the stars around a bonfire. She’d shook her head, told him routine was what she needed, that she could get the most out of her day if she went to bed early, but that same night she’d made it back home long after the moon took its place in the sky, hair frizzy and skirt twisted sideways. 

She reminded him of when he’d drank a Screwdriver for the first time, far too sweet for him to handle without his head spinning, but giving him enough of a buzz that he couldn’t stop sipping it. He reminded her of the single sip of her father’s whiskey spiked coffee, the kind that turned her tongue bitter and burned her throat on the way down, but had her heart racing all the same. 

He always laughed at the way she’d scold him for his dirty mouth. He didn’t think he’d ever heard a single ‘bad word’ come out of her, and everytime one came out of him, she was quick to smack him on the shoulder and tell him off like a mother. She kept her body guarded, rarely letting his hands wander too far until it was two hours later and she was desperate for them to be anywhere else but on her face. He started to wake up earlier just to hear the birds sing about her. 

He started seeing her in everything. In the rainy days where the sun was still in the sky, the soft patter of raindrops hitting his window sounding more and more like her laugh every time. He saw her in the wisteria vines that climbed the trellis in his mother’s garden, in the sip of wine he stole from his mother’s glass. He told himself he could wait a few years until he didn’t burn so much, until he became a better man who could handle how sweet she was. She told him she didn’t mind the burn, didn’t mind the bitterness, but if he wanted to wait until he was smoother for her, she could do that. She could wait.

2 years later and she's still just as sweet, smooth like an aged bottle of wine but with that small bitter hint you don’t really notice until you’re two glasses in. He’s smoother, like the shot of bourbon sitting next to her on her kitchen counter, but he still burns just enough for her to recognize him. She downs the amber in the glass and tells him she can handle the burn, and he tells her that sweet still makes his head spin, even after all this time.

Suddenly he’s the one waking before the sun, slaving away over an oven and a glass of wine left out from the night before, birds singing the same song they used to years ago. He’s in bed by sunset because she’d pulled him to the bedroom by the arm, lips lingering on his skin in the same way he used to linger on hers. He finds himself watching his language and she lets a few dirty words slip now and then, and her hands move his lower when she gets tired of them on her waist. He still sees her in the rain and the roses outside of his apartment, down to the small thorns hidden just beneath the beautiful crimson petals. She sees him in the thunder storms and the dandelions, beautiful and dangerous all the same. 

Suddenly, Screwdrivers aren’t too sweet for him anymore, and whiskey doesn’t burn her throat quite like it used to.

[rosedere]

The Liyue Lotus and the Merchant from Snezhnaya

(Pantalone x Fem! Reader)

MDNI +18

Cw: kidnapping, Stalking, non con elements, Graphic violence (later chapters), Yandere content *will update as the series goes

Cross posted on AO3

Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3 , Part 4, Chapter 5. Communication lost in the mountains, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10~

Synopsis: Unfortunately, The Regerator develops a fixation with you while you are working undercover for Yelan. And there’s no one who can get in his way of his prized Lotus.

-

The parts of me buried underneath

They're glowing, do you see?

I know that you feel me now

No I'm never going down

-

You didn't hear from Yelan again.

…

It was total static from everyone. 

A few weeks into your stay in your pagoda tower was when you had any sort of noteworthy event. Basking in the pouring sunlight from the opening of the balcony from the canopy bed, you only realized you were drifting off to sleep when the soft footsteps from the hallway began to grow louder in volume.

“Lián”

You felt something paper-textured land on your bloated stomach.

Eyes still closed in annoyance, you lifted your arm to shoo Galina away.

“Its from Your beloved~” she added as she sat besides you, pulling away at the curtain to allow more light in.

You only stayed silent, trying to relax into the cool silk pillow you were currently resting on.

“Lián, you've been sleeping a lot lately.”

Galina sighed, holding the back of her hand to your forehead. “Hopefully you didn't catch a cold when you went swimming,” she muttered to herself as she leaned back onto the bed, laying near your feet.

“Fine— let me see.”

Unfurling yourself from the confines of the sheets, you sat up to see a medium-sized box now toppled over onto your side of the bed.

The wrapping on the package was an intricate iridescent blue and white tissue paper encasing the box, topped with a small paper lily.

Carefully unwrapping the top of the bow, the rest of the package fell apart, revealing the contents inside the dark blue box. You reached for the envelope before observing the contents of the delicately wrapped items; the letter was a familiar Snezhnaya envelope you had handled in the past during missions.Delicate as you opened the envelope with your name written on it with a golden fountain dip pen, Piercing the letter with your sharpest nail.

The parchment was cold to the touch, several pages from first glance.

“So what is it, my lady?" Galina perched her hand under her chin.

"Unfortunately, I don't read as fast as Pantalone”

“Lián, 

I have finally made it to Snezhnaya. By the time this letter should reach you, I'd have been here already for several weeks.

Thankfully, the… unfriendly gathering has ended sooner than I anticipated. I am currently catching up on certain duties I neglected before I came home.

In the meantime, until I have a certain day of arrival, I sent you some items that reminded me of you, hopefully reaching you along with this letter.

Every day I've been thinking about you, Lián; hopefully Galina and Fedor have been treating you well in my absence. I can't resist letting my mind wander to our first night together. 

I can't wait until we are united again so we can share a few more nights like that one, my rooted lotus.

I have more to say and share with you about Snezhnaya, but I have been alerted to some issues involving one of my underlings that I must take care of, so I will leave the rest to your imagination until we both can come together.

The Regerator

You looked over at the gently wrapped items stacked neatly in a pile.

“Hmm, so it appears he could arrive any day now,” Galina mindlessly replied, now propped up on one of the smaller pillows on the bed.

“Any day? How did you get that from the letter?” you asked.

“I just know him; last time he said that he returned a week later,” she turned lying in the bed.

"Hey, did he also leave an extra envelope in there by any chance?”

You carefully laid the blue ink letter on the bedspread as you pulled the items out of the box; some you could immediately guess were clothes, while others felt like they were wrapped in a sturdy paper box.

Thinking that was it, two envelopes slipped out from the bottom.

One was on dark sapphire blue paper, and the other was a dusty violet color.

“Oh! That's it,” she reached over energetically for the dusty violet color before pocketing the other one in her hood pocket.

A smile graced her face as she eagerly opened the letter.

Humming as she read her letter, you noticed the back of the letter had a photograph of something—a few pictures from the thickness you could tell from the shape.

You didn't want to pry, so you returned your attention to the items strewn about now on the bed.

Reaching for a small rectangular one carelessly thrown on top of the several items now forming a small mountain, a silver ink print was on top as you further inspected the gift.

“To moma”

You were about to speak up, but Galina read your mind, grabbing a hold of the box in your hand.

"Sorry, my lady, you had to grab that~ hehe He must have packed them altogether,” she bashfully apologized.

“Ah no, its on me; I shouldn't have just assumed it was mine,” you smiled back at her, watching her handle the gift.

The photos on the back of the letter are now laying facing up on top of the letter as she unwrapped the gift eagerly.

You watched as she pulled the expensive wrapping off, again her mask concealing her face, but you could tell her mood instantly lightened as she held the now unwrapped gift.

“Is that?”

Galina nodded, holding the small statue.

You knew it was an ice creation—some vision holders becoming sculptors using their vision to create material.

But the place that was sculpted was somewhere you had never seen before.

The tall dome-like roofs and a small miniature garden with a snowy lake in front of the palace-like place. 

The amount of detail was truly inspiring.

“My daughter... finally got a vision while I was away." Galina smiled, holding the small miniature in her gloved hand.

"She had desperately wanted to become one so she could serve the Tsaritsa” 

She held the minature to her chest.

“I miss her so much.”

Galina's finger traced around the little pond that was sculpted into the side of the castle.

“The last time I saw her was when she was only a small toddler, barely able to stand,” she chuckled to herself.

Rolling on her stomach, she placed the minature on the wrapping, looking closer at it from behind.

“She told me in her letter that she will try to become an ice maiden under the tsaritsa as soon as her birthday comes next month.” 

She glanced back up at you.

“ah— this might be a bit boring to you, my lady; I apologize once more.” 

“No, it's alright, it's just-”

This is going to be awkward…

“Are you really a mother?” You blurted.

Startled by your blunt tone, you covered your mouth as you searched for any amount of offense in your words on her face.

Galina smiled mischievously at you before she rewrapped the small sculpture.

“Three”

“Including my younger sisters, so...”

Ten

Your eyes widen in surprise,thanking your hand for covering your mouth, as it was probably hanging down in shock.

“Its a long story, but im all they have; its why im here with Fedor,” she sighed, reaching for the photographs.

She grabbed the last photo from the back, placing it on your covered lap.

The photo showed three girls in some sort of igloo in the wilderness; the oldest sitting on the left of the embankment looked to be at least sixteen—a young teen—while the other two sitting in the poorly constructed igloo looked to be no older than six. 

Galina placed a finger on the oldest one.

“That one is my Victoria,” she pointed to the girl. “She looks more like her… father than I, but she is such a sweet girl.” 

She then pointed to the two girls inside the igloo.

“These two are my twins, Brki and Ivanna.” 

You looked closer inside the igloo to see the two smiling girls more in detail; their eyes, hair, and body structure were identical.

“I was so lucky to have them; I'm sure they're probably impatiently waiting for my return again,” she smiled, looking back down at the picture.

You watched her fondly touch the small photograph of her children; absorbed in her world that was depicted in the photo.

“I certainly hope I'm not overstepping since... "I'm not a mother and all.” You looked down at your hands before you laid on your side, facing Galina on the bed.

“Why don't you work closer to Snezhnaya instead of being so far from them?” 

“If I had my babies somewhere in a region all by themselves, I'd probably lose sleep knowing I was doing such a dangerous job.”

Galina's smile softened as she carefully laid the photo next to the minature.

“I would if I could, Lián.”

“I thought this might have been the trip my Lord Pantalone would have offered to take me and Fedor along back home,” she exhaled.

“But I guess I signed up a week too late to stay; now I work for the Regerator.” 

She tucked the letter and photographs inside the wrappings.

“I guess better this way; I'd probably be dead if I worked for the home harbingers like Il Dottore or Coloumbina…” she chuckled half-heartedly. "Ah, you haven't met them yet, but they certainly... are strange,” she smiled to herself. 

You smiled back at Galina as she tucked her gifts in her opposite coat pocket.

“I must write my babies a letter before the day ends,” she stretched out onto your bed.

“Hey—can I see what your beloved brought for you this time?” 

“Please~” she asked, propping her head up with her hands.

“Sounds fair to me since you shared what you were sent in the mail,” you sluggishly moved back up in a sitting position.

Checking to make sure nothing else was mixed up. 

You grabbed the top item; wrapped in a very sturdy tissue-like paper. Gingerly pulled the ribbon on top, making the whole wrapping come off.

“Oh wow, miss Lián! Its so beautiful,” her eyes lit up.

“Err.. but what is it?” You tilted your head.

The sheer cloth was so long that you had to keep unrolling the dark sapphire material at least 30 times until you could observe the full tapestry of cloth.

A white-tinsel lotus design ebbed all around the sheer fabric, reaching the ends of the ground. The horizontals had a very expensive tassel and metal accessories hanging low on the bottom all the way to the top.

"Ah, Miss Lián, that's a...”

Galina stroked her chin in thought for a moment.

“Oh! I remember the Liyue word for it… A veil”

“Like for….” You swallowed thickly. “A bride?”

“Oh no, at least not in our culture it isnt— women of high status wear them to mimic the Tsaritsa's own veil to shield her innocence,” Galina pointed at the fabric.

“If I wasn't so lazy, I'd show you right now how it's worn, but I have a feeling I might know what at least two of the other packages entail.” She glanced over towards the uneven mountain of gifts.

“It certainly is beautiful, but I don't know if I'll be able to wear it in our humid climate,” you sighed.

“You can always weave it into your hair like some of the previous Harbingers and some Harbinger spouses do,” she smiled. "But, to be honest with you, I think he mostly got it for you to wear as a shawl like the ones you adore so much.” Galina lowered her voice.

Letting curiosity get the best of you, the decision to wear the veil was all your brain was telling you to do as you carefully slid out of bed, standing on bare feet as you wrapped the fabric around your gown.

“So it just goes over me?” You questioned now standing next to the long fabric.

"Yup,” Galina quickly responded, looking over at you.

You began to unwrap the veil, opening it up like a bedsheet before placing it on top of your messy hair.

Dropping the veil to the ground, it laid around your feet gracefully, catching the light from outside as you twirled underneath the long fabric.

“Its beautiful.” You touched the inside of the veil, really feeling the soft netted material.

"Oh, but wait until you see the second piece that goes with it,” she chuckled, her belly crawling towards the mountain of presents laying where you had previously disturbed.

She began sorting through the gifts before she settled on the largest one, nestled underneath a few other items.

“Here, try this one.”

You approached with the veil still over your head, grabbing the package, now intrigued.“Id offer to unwrap it for you, my lady, but Id rather not get caught by Fedor,” she scratched the back of her head.

“If you want to, you can,” you held the gift back towards her. “You can be my assistant,” Your veil unintentionally jingled as you held it out to her.

Galina nodded before opening the carefully wrapped present for you.

She went quickly to work as she unwrapped the tightly bound package.

Another heavy-looking garment tightly folded; the white fur was mostly what you identified until you looked closer, realizing it was another long item of fabric.

“This part I'll let you unwrap,” she handed the item to you.

unfolding the very tightly packed item, watching a cascade of snow whites and icy blues sparkle and twinkle back at you.

The top silmy mantle around the collar reminds you of an artic fox; the fur is a second layer underneath the thick peacoat material; the tulle layer underneath acting like a long dress as it also pooled and complimented the robe part of the long splits that rain besides the ribs of the coat.

"Normally, women in snezhnaya also wear a layered robe underneath this coat, just like the Tsaritsa” Galina pointed to the sleeves.

“Im surprised why he bought you these specifically since normally that particular outfit is worn for special occasions.” 

“special meaning?” You trailed.

“Like an engagement or being pinned as a harbinger is the one I can think of at the top of my head,” she flicked her eyes towards the wardrobe on the opposite side of the room.

“I would show you Pantalone's, but it seems he took his winter formal coat on business with him,” she looked back at the coat still in your hand.

“He has one identical to that one, but it seems he custom ordered it while he was over there,” Galina sighed, “which is something not anyone is honored to receive from Snezhnayans.”

Astonished, you took a step back as you looked closer at the coat. You realized initially that what seemed to be sleeves was actually more of a split poncho with a lack of a better term. Deciding to try it as well, you opened the front of the insulated coat. The soft mink feeling inside was very warm, and of course it had the quality of something you have never been blessed to wear.

“It's kind of heavy.” You walked towards the end of the ornate gateway leading to the bedroom door, the crystal material catching more light than your veil. 

“They certainly are; the more layers, the better, my lady,” Galina watched as you carefully walked back towards the bed.

Sighing, you sat on the edge of the bed before lying back on the bed.

“My lady? Are you okay?” Galina sat up, sitting besides you, where the material cascaded down the tall bed.

“Just a bit winded—I think I just haven't been sleeping well,” you murmured before removing your arms from the sleeves. “I'll be alright once I close my eyes for a moment,” you replied, burying your face into the covers.

“Ah— but do you want to unwrap the rest of your gifts first? It seems there are about four more.” Galina began to neatly stack the few items left on the bed.

“Maybe later—” you yawned.

“My lady, at least let me take your jacket off of you.” Galina fussed as she began to carefully lift you up.

“My lord would kill me if he found out I let you roll around in them,” she began to carefully begin the process of undressing and disasembling your outfit.

“Galina? Are you in here?” Fedor's voice boomed from the walkway outside.

Your cheery guard looked towards the balcony outside; the pyro energy radiating around where Fedor had teleported.

"Ah, one moment—Im undressing our lords, beloved,” she finished unrolling the veil into a neat square on the bed.

“This is an urgent matter, my comrade; a crane has been spotted.”

Galina froze before dropping the fabric on the bed.

She quickly removed your long jacket and laid it on top of the bed, where the items were stacked, before she laid you back into one of the larger pillows on your bed.

“I'm sorry, my lady; I'll dress you properly later.”

“Please stay in your bedroom and do not open any doors until we arrive,” Galina calmly told you.

Your eyes, however, were already closing as you heard Galina and Fedor hurry out of the room before they closed the gate to the balcony.

Silence except for the occasional bird call or sway of wind passing through the bedroom.

As much as your body was dragging you down, however, you knew you had to continue your real mission.

Especially since Pantalone was already getting ready to come back.

Pulling yourself up, you looked around the room you had become accustomed to for the several days you lived here.

Unfortunately, you didn't find much in his various drawers, desks, and vases of scrolls; seemingly, he took everything with him on his business in the ever-frozen wasteland.

Walking over to the bedroom door unshockingly, it was very obviously locked from the outside.

No way out

Leaning against the door, you lazily looked over towards the bathroom.

On one of these absentee days at Pantalones Estate, you were tasked with washing yourself while Galina stepped away to figure out where the smoke in the lower kitchen was from.

You would have started by yourself drying your body off, but you noticed only a few washcloths left.

Sighing to yourself as you sat on the edge of the stone ledge that formed the natural tub, you felt one that was… out of place.

Not in appearance, but the large section of stone was loose.

Assuming it was just a loose stone, you pulled at the slate. A rumble occurred, and a wall was revealed below your feet.

A passage.

You carefully lowered yourself into the earthy passage, leaving barely enough room for one person to squeeze through. Wherever you landed, you were extremely unsure as you reached the end of your descent.  The walls were tall; you could feel a draft, but there was no light at all in the room. You cursed yourself for not having a pyro vision as you felt and touched everything until you ran your hands on a switch, the handle protruding in front of you.

Pulling it revealed a network.

Tunnels.

Each leading deeper into the mountain.

Only before you were about to decide which mossy-covered entrance to take, you were alerted by Galina's sing song voice from above.

Today was going to be different.

Grabbing a large stick that was lying in one of the various vases in the restroom, you began your descent once more.

Climbing down, you noticed the lights had been turned off once more. Doing the same as you did the first time you felt up against the natural wall of the cave before you hit the switch from the walls.

The light turning on revealed a much more disturbing scene from the last time you were down.

Dried blood.

Everywhere.

The rusty smell disguises itself under the moist and earthy scent of the cave.

It seemed something got attacked down here.

You carefully tread with bare feet on the earthy stone around the scene before you.

Most of the blood was concentrated in the middle of the cavernous area before a trail led to the utmost left cavern.

Maneuvering quietly, you thanked the archons. Your nausea was at bay for the first time all day, or you'd have surely vomited in the humid cavern.

Thankfully, it seemed the switch's power extended to the cavern, really illuminating the long trail as whoever or whatever carried itself this way.

Finally reaching the back of the long cavern, you found nothing.

Literally, not even a trail of blood remained in the area. no corpse or sign of the person left.

The iron bars surrounded the area.

A makeshift prison.

Chilled, you kept your investigation mode on, examining every rock and iron bar.

But nothing came of the cavern.

Or the one next to it.

It wasn't until you wandered to the last worn path that you heard the familiar breeze of the mountain create a draft as you walked further inside.

Eventually, you took a windy path before the natural sunlight of the sky poured into the passage.

Practically running, you raced towards the opening of the cave. cautiously approaching the edge of the cave, listening for any suspicious sounds. Cursing yourself for the lack of elemental energy, you armed yourself with the stick before you stepped one foot out.

Entering the sunlight by yourself was a right you took for granted.

Overwhelmed by the familiar image of the mountain ranges and various wooden bridges in the distance, you knew.

"It finally took you long enough.”

At first, you thought an annoying mirage had formed above you. Craning your neck up with your stick, you pointed up at your possible threat.

Her mauve lips only upturned in an amused smile as she giggled behind her hands.

“I knew it was bad, but not this bad; my last subordinate would threaten me with a stick." She brushed her hair behind her ear from her spot on the tall tree branch above. 

Patting on the tall branch as an invitation for you to come join her only made you scowl in response.

"Fine, stay down there, but those two annoyances are going to spot you and blow your cover.” Yelan pointed to the downward natural path beside you.

Lunging with your stick, you reached the tree branch with no hesitation, perching in a squat beside Yelan.

“Why are you here?” You asked, crossing your arms.

“Same reason you're here." She stretched her arms above her head briefly.

“I wanted to see if you took the Regerator down or if that blood was from you,” she quietly laughed.

“So you're saying the blood wasn't from you murdering all of the fatui down there?” You rolled your eyes.

“Not yet,” she smiled as she poked your nose.

Flicking her hand in retaliation, you both paused as you looked down the mountain path.

Eventually the laugh slipped from your mouth, leading Yelan to follow in your footsteps. Her infectious laugh a comforting sound, reminding you of the time before being undercover.

when you and Yelan were just subordinates.

“So I'm going to assume then you don't know what occurred down there either.”

You nodded, only shrugging.

“I can't be a useful source since when I first stumbled upon the passage leading to that makeshift prison, I couldn't wander further inside, but I do recall no blood was in there yet.” 

“It may be a good sign." Yelan interjected, “The passage you just came out of was manmade,” her finger pointed at the jagged edges the entrance had, “the prisoner escaped down the cliff to down the mountain.” 

“They must have had a vision,” you deduced as you looked down the misty mountain range below.

It was Yelan's turn to nod in silent acknowledgement.

“Hang on, how did you find this place? I don't even know where I am,” you exclaimed.

Yelan only raised a perfect brow.

“Im not kidding, I snuck into the prison from the bathroom in Pantalones master bedroom looking for an escape.” 

Yelan looked back at the cavern opening once more in thought.

“We found Dan, but he was dead at the base of this mountain, concealed in the amber." Yelan shrugged before looking down at the base of the mountain.

“I decided to scout the area to see if any activity would occur when I found camps of fatui surrounding this entire mountain.” 

You leaned in, listening intently with interest as Yelan looked cautiously around.

“Following a few of them led me to halfway to the mountain before I was somehow spotted, and now I'm here,” she pursed her lip.

“So what's the next step? I haven't gotten any word from inside the Fatui about what's going on or if they're involved as well,” you murmured. “Im essentially being watched everywhere I go inside his residence,” scratching your wrist out of nerves.

“Your my Fatui informant; despite what it seems like, you have a lot of value out of everyone right now,” Yelan placed a firm hand on your shoulder. “Trust me, I'll treat you to the best Liyue beer in the harbor once we catch The Regerator,” Yelan smiled.

“For now, you need to keep gaining all of their trust, no matter what it is, until you have definitive evidence and a plan. We can avenge our fallen and bring Pantalone to justice,” she passionately assured you.

For a moment, it grew silent. The mountains natural sound being amplified around the both of you.

“I have to head back, Yelan," you said as you stood up on top of the tall limb.

“As do I as well; I'm sure they assumed I slid all the way down the mountain by now at this point.”

You both laughed, Yelan rising to her feet as well, both being at eye level.

“Since I know now where you are, we can both converge higher up from here near the amber on the next waning moon this month,” she said, pointing at a small landing above the manmade mountain.

“Sounds good to me.”

“Until then, (name)” 

-

Note: Bad news and Good news:

Bad news: Im apart of the Boycotting Hoyo which means besides not playing the game and review bombing I will not be continuing this story until Hoyo stops pretending dark skin tones dont exists :D I will not argue about it as im firm on my stance and I hope everyone respects my choice and hopefully I can continue my genshin/and honkai stories once more as I really love the characters and such!

Good news: I wont be a complete asshole and since I have the rest of the 6 chapters written I will begin editing and posting those but I will not update anymore after the six one has been posted!

Again im sad I have to say all of this but I was already angry at genshin because of sumeru and then for them to do the same thing again to a group that already get talked over and their concerns and issues ignored makes me dislike them even more...

Petition + Review bomb tf out of the games on the app store btw

[whoisthatcreepoverthere]

Answering @matchasilver. Sorry I forgot to reopen the ask box before sharing another ask game. It's back up and running now should you or anyone else want to ask something else.

20. Preferred place to write (i.e., in a notebook, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? 

Depends on what kind of writing I’m doing.  

If I’m writing fanfic/drabbles, then absolutely my laptop as it’s easy peasy (until college I wrote all my fics by hand, in notebooks which killed my wrist). If I need to rework something, I can just copy paste into a new document and quickly swap between versions for comparison. I have access to it anywhere and can easily share documents with others for proofreading. When I’m taking notes for educational purposes, I still prefer to handwrite them in either notebooks or large notepads. I need the space because my individual letters are big (on average, I can only fit 6-8 words a line) and I don’t skimp details as I know I won’t remember them otherwise. I usually make multiple copies of To-do-lists. Depending on the length, they can be found on scrap paper, on my phone’s notes app and/or post-it-notes. In college, they would occasionally be long enough to warrant be written on notebook paper. 

24. Favorite crystal? 

Malachite. The stunning shades of green and hypnotic patterning always get me. 

36. What is the first meme you remember ever seeing? 

Oh Christ this is hard. Congrats, you’ve made me unironically look up meme history. By timeline, my first meme would’ve likely been from the funny motivational posters or rage face era, hopefully that’s sufficient because I genuinely do not remember what it was. 

42 Jacket pockets or pants pockets? 

Jacket pockets. As a girl, most of pants either did not have real pockets or they were disappointing. My hoodies have never let me down. And they’re easier to reach. 

53. What is the current state of your hands? 

Currently soft and decently moisturized. As we progress deeper into fall and winter that will change. I usually have cracked knuckles a few times before spring. My nails are decently short, not yet reaching my fingertips and cut squarish. I am a shitty judge of whether something is lined up straight so they’re a little cockeyed. My nails have always been thin and brittle (I occasionally put on strengthening polish, but I struggle to form habits, so I lose progress about as fast as I make it) hence I keep them short to prevent tearing. Very unmanicured cuticles that are usually overgrown. All my attempts at correcting this myself have ended in severe hangnails. I get hangnails often anyways but usually they’re not bad.  

I have a few little scars on my hands. The newest additions being minor burn scars on the middle and ring fingers on my right hand. I was trying to shut the doors on an air fryer and missed the handles by just a smidge. I have a writer’s bump on my right ring finger that I’ve had since elementary school.  

Overall, they are small (children’s gloves fit me better than adult’s do) and pale, several of my veins being visible. Small knuckles. Rectangular shape with square palms and slightly longer fingers. Knobby joints but you wouldn’t know that by looking since my fingers are a little chubby. I have arthritis in my hands thus they swell often.  

I’ve been told that my hands (amongst other things) are reminiscent of my maternal great-grandmother. 

[yslkook]

UNFUCKWITABLE (9)

mind of mine masterlist

summary: jungkook convinces you to take a staycation with him for a few days (a week).

pairing: “badboy” jk x “shy/reserved” oc

warnings: cursing, alc, excessive use of pet names, oc and jk discuss their unprotected sex practices, vomiting, some jealous jk, mild exhibitionism, fingers in oc's mouth grinding, making out, oral (m), titjob

word count: 7k

a/n: if you want to be tagged, send an ask plz. would love to hear your thoughts. also...cant believe mom manifested into butter jk im in pain

****************************************

Jungkook is unsurprised to enter your home with the key you’d given him the other week and find it completely empty. You’ve been working early mornings and incredibly late nights for the last week and a half, and he can tell it’s beginning to take a toll on you. The first sign that you were beginning to wear down was when you had skipped dinner in favor of sleeping. The second was when you had snapped at him in irritation and then immediately cried over hurting his feelings.

He can think of about a dozen other things, including the even more pronounced bags under your eyes. You’ve always had dark circles under your eyes naturally from hyperpigmentation but these days, not even concealer can help you mask them.

In fact, the reason that you’d even given him a key was because you felt like work was taking over your entire life. You’d hardly had a chance to see anyone who wasn’t a work colleague, and you just missed Jungkook. At least this way, you could wake up and go to bed with him.

You had only been calling Jungkook your partner just shy of four months, and he had a key to your home. Perhaps it was fast for other people, but with him, it felt right. So he keeps a copy of your keys on his lanyard- it’s possibly his most prized possession right now. Jungkook usually only comes when you ask him to, he’s been staying at your place for the last week because of how tired and busy you were.

Usually you stop by the tattoo parlor at least once or twice a week, but you have been sparse because of work. So he’s here, in your home without you. It felt strange the first few times he’d been here without you, but then he started leaving little pockets of himself- his shoes next to yours, his hair product on your shelf, and his two of his jackets hanging near yours in the closet. He’d even purchased a new plant to keep on your windowsill in your living room (which you take turns dutifully watering and making sure she gets enough sunlight).

It’s all very domestic. He had jokingly told you not to expose him to your shared friends, specifically Mina and Mei. To which you had rolled your eyes.

Though some small, very small, part of him wonders if the magic will fade away soon. Considering how fast you both are moving both physically into your home and in your relationship.

It’s only been a few months, and you both were incredibly comfortable with the idea of unprotected sex- after all, Jungkook always pulls out in time. Until, of course, you’d had a pregnancy scare. Hoseok and Yoongi, ever the pair of realists, had scolded him when Jungkook had revealed that you both hardly ever used any protection-

“Are you trying to knock her up? Is that it? You both ready to potentially be parents?” Yoongi says mildly as he polishes off his wine, looking at Jungkook expectantly. Jungkook’s cheeks burn.

“No, I’m not trying to knock her up and no, nobody’s trying to be parents-”

“You both are lucky you haven’t knocked her up already,” Hoseok says, with more heat in his voice, “You both are fucking stupid, but you especially.” He even smacks the back of his head with the book in his hands and Jungkook glares at him.

“Hey, my pull out game has always been strong, and I’m serious about her. We wouldn’t fuck raw if-”

“Oh, yes, then we definitely have nothing to worry about,” Yoongi says, “Keep it moving, Hobi.

“Talk to her about it, or else,” Hoseok threatens, “I don’t wanna hear about another pregnancy scare because you’re both idiots.”

“I know, I know,” Jungkook relents, “We’ve been talking about it. It just sucks that birth control can fuck up a woman’s body like that, you know? Mood changes and appetite changes, nausea and everything…”

“You could always get a vasectomy,” Yoongi says bluntly.

“Mei said the same thing. She was way more mean about it, though. Told me she’d cut my balls off if I didn’t get my shit together.”

“I don’t blame her, considering what a mess you both were last month.”

“We were not a mess!”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so stressed ever in your life, not even when your first bike got run over by a car. Or when your tattoo got infected three consecutive times. And I’ve never seen her cry so much before.”

“Alright, maybe we’re a little bit of a mess.”

In the end, you and Jungkook had both decided that yes, condoms were probably a good idea. Considering the pregnancy scare you had last month, you both were on edge and a little paranoid. Jungkook hadn’t even mentioned the idea of you taking birth control or getting an IUD, knowing that your last few experiences with the former were unpleasant-

“I can get a vasectomy, you know. In fact, Yoongi suggested it,” Jungkook shrugs nonchalantly but your jaw drops.

“Jungkook. I don’t think vasectomies are reversible like that. Think about what you’re saying,” You murmur, “I’m touched you’d consider a surgical procedure so I don’t have to take birth control, but what if-”

“I looked it up, they can be reversed-”

“But Jungkook! You don’t know that, what if you want to have kids later and you can’t because you decided on a fucking whim to get a vasectomy? It’s still trauma on your body! You can’t just snip snap, snip snap your vas deferens tube whenever you please. At least with birth control you can start and stop it, even if that’s not a completely benign process.”

Jungkook looks at you long and hard, his tongue poking his cheek and you sigh. “But I don’t-”

“Honey. I appreciate your thoughtfulness,” You murmur, squeezing his hands in yours, “But we’re both being stupid. We’re both acting like condoms don’t exist. Why don’t we start with condoms and then think about getting your tubes tied or me getting an IUD?”

“You spoiled me,” Jungkook complains dramatically and drops his head to your chest, “With your pussy. I’m spoiled now.”

“Shut up.”

And so now, a box of condoms sits in the drawer of your nightstand and you’ve taken to bringing a few with you in your purse as well (and so does he). You’d been far more nervous buying condoms than you’d ever been of buying anything else, and Jungkook had only cockily grinned at you.

Today’s Friday and it’s the day of your deadline. Meaning that you’d hopefully be home soon and be his for the rest of the weekend. He fully plans on getting you to relax and stay in for the majority of the weekend, so that you can catch up on sleep.

But then you come home past dinner (you had sent him a text earlier telling him that you were going to be late. He knows your mood is sour- you had been in a foul mood all week, and the fact that you’re so close to being home but so far just makes it worse). You come home with an empty belly, a weary mind and wetness along your lash line. Climbing into bed next to him, you circle your arms around his waist and cry tiredly into his chest.

“J-Jungkook,” You hiccup, “I’m so tired, they kept me s-so late today but it’s done. Everything is finished-”

“Oh, baby,” He sighs, rubbing your back soothingly, “It’s okay. We can just sleep now. You should take a few days off next week, baby.”

“I don’t know…” But your eyes are wide and considering it.

“You’ve been running on empty all week,” Jungkook points out, “For longer than that. Your job can handle two or three days without you while you recharge. Text your boss, baby. You need to rest, too.”

He nudges your cheek with his nose and you hum in agreement. “Okay. Five day weekend? Sure you won’t get tired of me?” You murmur and laugh when he squeezes your waist.

“We can make it a staycation.”

And you’re already texting your boss, telling her that you needed a few days off next week. She gives you a thumbs up and encourages you to rest up, making it a point to recognize how hard you’ve been working. She even suggests you take the full week off, which you jump at and Jungkook only grins at you.

“My brilliant girl, charming her way into a full week off.”

You swat his hand away and hide your burning but satisfied face in his chest. “Yeah, your bad habits are rubbing off on me.”

“Oh, that’s not the only thing rubbing off on you,” Jungkook says wickedly and pushes his hips into yours, earning a fierce pinch to his bare waist.

“Hush, I’m trying to nap,” You mumble, your voice muffled. Without warning, you lick his neck and bite lightly at the base of his neck, ignoring his soft yelp. He doesn’t have a chance to question you on what that was, as you’re already falling asleep.

You’ve always thought from the beginning, even when you and Jungkook were just friends, that he was an ass man. You’ve caught him staring at your ass many, many times- in jeans, in a dress, in a skirt. And now that you both are officially together, he spends any and every moment he can with a hand on your ass. Casually, when you both walk side by side. And purposefully when you’re both just in his bed or on your couch. His hand is a well known presence on your ass, not that you’re complaining.

One of Jungkook’s favorite places to nap is on your ass, with his cheek pressed into you and one hand firmly gripping your ass. He also likes laying with his head on your lap. But his favorite place to nap is with his head buried in your chest, specifically buried in between your tits. He is currently analyzing his hypothesis that your right tit is smaller than your left, a thought he’s had for a while now, but needs further samples of evidence to properly assess.

But he’s always had an affinity for your tits, whether you’re blissfully unaware of it or not. You don’t notice it not really- you like any and all of his touches on any inch of your skin, as you’ve told him many times before. Especially when he holds you close next to him or under him and you feel protected, surrounded by only him.

He holds you, looks at you as if you’re as soothing as the sea and as bright as a supernova. And yet, the universe is contained in his big, doe eyes.

But really, at the end of the day, it’s an affinity for you. Jungkook loves every part of your mind, body, and soul, and he thinks he has for a long time. His heart has been tangled with yours since the first time he had seen you years ago at Hobi’s surprise birthday party that you had planned. Jungkook is sure that when he had seen you with a homemade red velvet cheesecake with a ‘Happy Birthday Hobi <3’ written perfectly in red icing in your arms, a silly party hat on your head, and a shy, beaming smile on your lips, he had been magnetized to your center of gravity from then on.

But even then, he had only hovered. Barely introducing himself, if it weren’t for Mina and Mei. He thought he had known girls like you- girls who baked cakes, planned elaborate birthday parties for their friends and wore flowery dresses liked other predictable people. It’s another one of his hypotheses (which has been clearly debunked)- but by now, he knows not to be so judgmental of others.

But he doesn’t dwell on that for long. Even the first time he met you, right after he had introduced himself to you and you had stared at him with starstruck eyes and stammered a quiet ‘hello’ in return, Sora had cornered him. And told him to back off from right then, that you were off limits. That you’d never be interested in a guy like him, so to not even spend a second in his stupid little mind even entertaining the ridiculous idea.

So he backed off subconsciously, thinking it wasn’t worth it to even know you as a friend. He’d convinced himself that it was too much trouble, and Jungkook has always been an easygoing kind of guy in most instances. After all, your best friend would know you best, right? And really, what did he care? As the saying goes, there were about a million other fish in the sea.

However. Even then, with each word uttered between you both, with each laugh that he pulled from your soft mouth, he couldn’t help the reluctant fondness for you that began to bloom. You had surprised him every few months after that, just saying hello at events that you were both present at and asking how he was. With that stupidly beautiful smile and those bright, shy eyes.

You were a smart, kind woman, always remembering details about others. And he was no exception.

That was years ago. He’s known you since your third year at university, hanging by a thread just outside your orbit. But this is now.

This is now, and your lips are against his neck, your chest pressed to his. You climb into his lap haphazardly, nearly knocking your mug off of the coffee table. You both have only just woken up and stumbled out of bed for coffee and breakfast. You had combed the tangles out of his bedhead with his head in your lap, but now sleepiness has washed away and you’re tugging at his oversized shirt.

You promptly bite him, right where his neck tattoo starts and ends. Jungkook meets your eyes with an incredulous, breathy laugh. “What’s gotten into you?” He murmurs, palming your chest from under your shirt.

“Nothing. You just have a very biteable neck, I told you,” You say, resuming your inspection of the vein next to his tattoo, “What a juicy jugular vein-”

Jungkook holds your wrist and flips you so that your back is on the couch. “My sexy vampire girlfriend. Love when she starts talking about my jugular vein.”

“Watch out, I might drink from it. You never know,” You giggle with a wink, squirming in his grip.

“You can do whatever you want,” Jungkook murmurs but then an idea that has been planted in his head for weeks now spills from his lips without him meaning to, “I wanna fuck your tits, baby.”

Your eyes go comically wide, mimicking Jungkook’s own. His cheeks are a little pink from his abrupt confession as silence falls between you both.

“That’s really interesting,” You muse.

“Is it?” He asks, feeling a little lightheaded. You tug a little at his purple locks to pull him down to you.

“Yeah. Always thought you liked booty. And legs,” You shrug, “But I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised.”

Jungkook’s throat is too dry for him to reply coherently. But he finds his voice after you give him a reassuring smile, “Uh, when it’s you, I like everything.”

“Me too. When it’s you, I like everything,” You mumble, heat rising in your cheeks, “And uh… you can. Do that I mean.”

“Do what?” He asks teasingly, tilting his head to the side.

“Don’t play dumb,” You whine, shoving his shoulder.

“C’mon say it,” Jungkook jeers, not unkindly, “Put your big girl panties on.”

“I hate you,” You sigh dramatically, “Fine. You can fuck my tits, if you so desire.” His face splits into a grin as he thumbs your chin and ducks his head into your neck. He playfully nips at your skin, murmuring that he’s just giving you a taste of your own medicine, but you feel his half hard cock pressing against your thigh.

The image of his cock wet and slick between your tits is now imprinted in your mind, and when both of you want something, you’ll surely get it.

Despite your eagerness of making Jungkook’s wish a reality, neither of you have had the chance for your usual shenanigans just yet. You still have quite a few days of your staycation left, so you won’t rush it. You had spent most of the first two days sleeping, cuddling, spooning, eating and lots and lots of slow sex.

You think you can count on one hand the number of times you’ve left your bed. Jungkook has been nothing short of wonderful, bringing you food (just this once, you hate eating while in bed), giving you shoulder rubs and booty rubs without you asking. Your favorite ice cream is in your freezer. Life is good.

His shirt hangs off of your shoulder and you’re too lazy to fix it. In fact you’re too lazy for pajama bottoms, only settling on your favorite pair of comfortable panties (nothing flashy. Just a standard black cotton panty) to wear under your shirt. One might even call them granny panties or whatever, but lace was uncomfortable on your skin. Lace and thongs are for very, very special occasions (hardly if ever) and you are in the comfort of your own home. You’ll be comfortable if it’s the last thing you do.

In fact, you’re too lazy to even raise your head to pucker your lips for a kiss from Jungkook. You only open your arms and hum, as if he’s supposed to telepathically know what you want from him. But he does, and he flops onto you once he tugs his shirt off. Jungkook’s face remains buried in your chest as you gently rub his scalp.

He hums happily, nearly purring at your touch and shoves himself closer into your hold. You can’t believe this man, the man who mildly intimidated you for years, is now in your arms and purring like a baby kitten. He’s admitted a few times that his scalp has been irritated and inflamed ever since he dyed his hair purple. One of his favorite things is to lay in your lap while you massage a mix of coconut oil and peppermint oil into his scalp.

He looks up at you, warm heat blazing in his eyes. You’re about to ask him what he’s thinking about but he palms your pussy from under your shirt- your still swollen, puffy pussy from the four times he’s made you cum already.

“Can I help you, Jungkook,” You ask flatly, but your poker face breaks when he dots you with kisses up and down your thighs.

“Yeah, fuck,” Jungkook groans, voice slowing to a whine, “I’m still hard, baby, fuck. Help me.”

“How are you still hard,” You wonder with a grin, “Damn, Jeon. You must really like me, huh?”

“If that wasn’t obvious then I’m clearly not doing something right here,” He breathes into your skin.

“Gimme a kiss then,” You murmur, pushing his long hair behind his ear. His eyebrow piercing glints in the light of your bedroom and you trace it gently with your fingertips. Jungkook desperately pushes his lips to yours, parting your lips easily and slipping his tongue into your mouth. He kisses your teeth hungrily, strands of his hair brushing against your cheeks.

His hips roll into yours impatiently, hands already pawing at your shirt. The air in your bedroom is suddenly so stifling, thick and nearly choking you both with the intensity of your desire. You just want him to feel good with you.

“Jungkook,” You say softly with warm cheeks, “You can use me, however you want. Tell me what you want, bunny.”

He lets out a quiet gasp, his eyes bright and wide.

You’re both on the same page, because he’s scrambling to chuck his boxers to the side and you’re tossing your shirt on top of his boxers.

***********************

“Fuuuck,” Jungkook groans. He’s breathless, heart racing erratically. All he can do is hold your shoulders as he watches with a piercing, hazy gaze as his cock is swallowed in between your tits. You squeeze them tightly together, trying to create as much friction as you can for him.

“Fuck,” He whines, “Fuck, you look so good, baby. O-oh, shit, my pretty baby, you’re pretty-”

Jungkook nearly cums when you mischievously stick your tongue out to brush against the head of his leaking cock. The visual is almost too much for him and his breaths are choked, strangled as he forces himself to look into your dark eyes.

“So big, bunny, look,” You say softly, “You like this? You’re so hot like this…”

He’s nearly in tears, eyes shining and wet at how good this feels. If your pussy was a slice of heaven, then your tits were the next best thing. You moan softly, feeling your own wetness and heat pooling. Jungkook’s cheeks and chest are flushed, eyes wild and wet as he slides his cock in between the valley of your tits languidly. Almost as if he doesn’t want the moment to end.

You’re so warm, warm everywhere.

His muscles are tense, the furrow in his brow beginning to appear when he’s about to cum. “Shit, baby, oh my god, I love your tits,” Jungkook moans, tossing his head back, “Fuck, I love everything about you-”

You don’t know how he’s able to form coherent sentences to you when he’s this close to cumming. But he’s always been a man of many talents.

“You know what I just realized,” You gasp suddenly, “Neither of us made it official that we’re dating. Like I never asked you ‘out’ and you never asked me ‘out’-”

“Fuck, you talk too much,” Jungkook nearly snarls, “My cock is literally in between your tits and I’m about to fucking cum all over you and you think I belong to anyone else?”

You swallow thickly, Jungkook narrowing his eyes at you. He looks intimidating and intense above you, his powerful, golden thighs straddling either side of you.

“N-no, I was just-”

Jungkook shoots you a glare, reaches behind him and gathers your wetness with two fingers. Before you can ask him what he’s doing, he pushes two fingers into your mouth to shut you up. You send him a glare right back, but it melts away quickly when you swirl your tongue and suck on his digits.

He cums without warning, hastily and with a broken sort of sound ripping from his throat. It’s warm and sticky as it lands on your chest and your cheek. But he cums so much and much to your chagrin some of his cum gets in your eye and you nearly shriek at the burn.

“Jungkook! What the hell, your cum is in my fucking eyeball-”

He’s still panting above you, like some sort of golden boy, and it takes him a few seconds to register your irritation. “Oh shit,” Jungkook says and jumps into action. He tugs you into the bathroom to gently wash your eye for you (after washing his own hands), with you grumbling the entire time.

“I’m sorry, baby,” He says sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. You roll your eyes and demand to be taken back to bed and lavished in kisses as penance for his cum shooting into your eye.

Jungkook tastes himself a little when his tongue slips into your mouth, but it hardly registers as he rolls on top of you, caging you in between his arms.

Jungkook fleetingly thinks he should’ve spent more time trying to convince you to stay home with him. Maybe with a few soft, long kisses to your neck, he might have. You looked delectable, good enough to eat- your dress fitted around your hips, nails, hair, and makeup done, the scent of your perfume subtle but not irritating to his sensitive nose.

You had asked him to pick what jewelry to wear, so one of his long necklaces sitting around your neck and disappearing into the valley of your chest. It doesn’t really match with your dress, but you don’t care.

And Jungkook… well, it was difficult for you to keep your hands off of him as well. His hair is tied back into a neat ponytail, he’s wearing a sequined black (fitted) button up with the top four buttons undone, a thick, silver chain and ripped, black jeans. Your eyes are glued to his chest and he knows it- you can’t help but grip his arm, his bicep whenever you can.

Neither of you really enjoyed the club scene, but you had wanted to go out since it had been a really long time and after all, you were on your staycation. Mei had planted the idea in your head, and so now here Jungkook was.

Here he was, catching flashes off the satin, coral colored wrap dress that you were encased in. For someone who doesn’t like the scene, you blend in effortlessly. But you’re a grown woman, so he takes his eyes off of you and orders a round of shots for him, Jimin, Taehyung and Jin while nursing a bottle of soju.

In the midst of the thumping bass bouncing off of the walls in the club, you’re only aware of you and Mei while you both sing along to whatever song is blasting through the club. Mina disappeared a while ago, presumably to find Jimin.

You’re holding two drinks, one in each hand, and all you feel is the vibrations of the club. Along with your own drunkenness. Mei holds your arm to keep you steady as you move your hips in time with hers. You laugh loudly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders at something she said. Everything is amplified and muted at the same time, the swirl of alcohol settling comfortably in your veins.

You’re having a great time with your friends, dancing, swirling, singing and drinking. It’s a nice night to unwind, in the company of dear friends and strangers.

“Hey,” Mei murmurs in your ear, “I gotta pee and I’m gonna go find Seulgi-”

“You can just say that you wanna go find her,” You giggle, “Don’t blame your bladder on it, Mei.”

“Oh, you’re funny. I’ll text Jungkook and tell him to come find you, alright?” Mei says, patting your head. You nod and tell her to go find her girl, and she does. Leaving you to your own devices for a bit, at least until Jungkook makes his way to you.

However, what neither of you realize is that the cell reception in this building is terrible. Mei’s text never goes through and you stay in your bubble, with your two drinks in your hands and bounce along to the music.

You’re not sure how much time goes by, but it feels like you’ve been alone for quite a while. You squint your eyes at your phone to check the time and send a text to Jungkook. A text that never goes through. You frown and are about to turn on your heel to link up with your man (wherever he might be), but you hear a surprised call of your name.

It’s hard to keep the incredulity out of your face when you come face to face with Yunho, the man who had stood you up all those months ago. The air has almost been punched out of your lungs, and you have to squint at him to believe what you’re seeing.

He calls your name again, giving you a wave and a bright smile. “Funny seeing you here, huh?”

“Uh…”

“Can I buy you a drink? I feel like I owe it to you after…” His eyes are sincere. At least you think so, with your drunk goggles on.

“I don’t know, Yunho, it’s okay…” You mumble unsurely, “Isn’t this weird?”

“It’s only weird if we make it weird,” Yunho says and pulls a chuckle out of you.

“Oh, alright. I guess a drink won’t hurt,” You shrug and lead the way to the bar. The least he can do for you after standing you up and hurting your feelings is buy you a drink, you think.

“Hey listen, I owe you an apology,” Yunho says, sliding your drink towards you.

“Oh, it’s- it was a long time ago,” You shrug, avoiding his eyes. Sure, it was a hit to your ego, but in hindsight it doesn’t matter. Not when you have Jungkook. Honestly, you’ve forgotten that Yunho had even been a blip in your radar once upon a time. It was only because of Sora, anyway.

“I had something urgent come up last minute that day and I asked Sora to tell you,” Yunho continues, “I’m sorry I didn’t follow up or even reach out to you after. But I’d heard that you were with Jeon now, so didn’t want to… overstep, I guess.”

And even through your drunken haze, you understand. You sigh deeply, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Oh boy,” You groan, “Sora never told me about that but we’re not close anymore, Yunho. It’s okay, I understand. I’m sorry she got you, too.”

Yunho’s lips part in surprise, “She didn’t… Alright. What’s done is done, I guess.”

“Yeah,” You murmur airily, “And yes, I am with Jeon. Though I can’t seem to find him…”

“I’m happy to keep you company until you do.”

Despite how well you and Yunho seem to hit it off (most of your time spent bitching about Sora), you can’t help but think of Jungkook. You quite miss him, not having seen him all night in the club. You want to dance with him, and little do you know that he’s been scouring the entire club for you in a frenzy once he ran into Mei and Mina and hadn’t seen you with them.

He had sent them a glare, his jaw clenched and walked away to find you. So when his eyes finally land on you at the bar, after about twenty-five minutes of searching and trying to get through strings of people around you, his heart soars. But he sees you laughing with someone else at the bar. With Yunho.

Jealousy is petty, he tells himself. But he struggles to keep it at bay as it rears its head and comforts him. He’s always been protective and possessive of those he loves and cherishes. You’re definitely no exception.

You wobble a little on your feet, but you hold your own. Even from here, he can see the drunkenness of your smile, beads of sweat as they race down your neck to hide in the valley of your breasts. He zeroes in on your necklace (his) around your neck and reminds himself. It’s his necklace that you’re wearing, after all.

Then why is the man who stood you up all those months ago making you laugh like that?

You must have a sixth sense or something for him, because you turn your head a bit as if you can sense him. Your entire face lights up when you see him, in a way that makes his tough heart swell in adoration.

You make your way over to him with your drink and peck his lips chastely, despite his desire to pull you into his arms and kiss you long enough that your knees buckle. So that Yunho sees that he is yours.

“You disappeared on me, baby,” Jungkook murmurs, adjusting your necklace. He’s gripping it tightly, but you don’t notice.

“I was with Yunho, remember him? ‘Member, he stood me up but he didn’t because it was Sora’s fault-”

“That’s no surprise,” Jungkook says, rolling his eyes. You take his hand, squeezing and introduce him to Yunho. As if he doesn’t know him already. Jungkook’s tongue pokes the inside of his cheek, his jaw clenched. He doesn’t like how Yunho looks at you, how his gaze lingers on your skin and the curves of your dress. You lean against Jungkook heavily, absently playing with his fingers. You stay mostly quiet, sipping your drink as the two men speak (rather tersely).

Jungkook knows he’s being ridiculous.

“Kook, finish my drink?” You murmur, offering him the glass. Jungkook maintains eye contact with Yunho as he downs the remainder of your drink in a few solid gulps.

“Was nice to see you, Yunho,” You say, “I think Jimin and Mina are looking for us, Jungkook. Enjoy the rest of your night.”

With that Jungkook firmly holds your waist, keeping you close to him. You both know that neither Jimin nor Mina are looking for either of you. You’d only wanted to be alone with Jungkook.

So Jungkook leads you to a spot where he knows Yunho can visibly see you both. You let loose, giggling as Jungkook twirls you easily and moving your arms to match the beat of the music. He makes you laugh with his moves, winking at you and shooting finger guns at you as he twirls and swivels around you. He’s always been a great dancer, you realize. That’s funny, because you’re sometimes clumsy on your own two feet. He pulls you into him, his chest to your back and his hips pressed against your ass. You sigh contentedly, head lolling against his shoulder and you rest your hand over his hand to let him lead you.

His nose is buried in your neck, lips lightly brushing your pulse. He bites your earlobe gently, earning a soft laugh from you. Jungkook tilts your jaw to the side to meet your eyes and plants a deep kiss to your glossy lips. He holds you steady when your knees weaken, your belly flipping at the intensity that he pours into you.

Jungkook is all around you, encasing you within his arms and there’s not a single place you’d rather be. When you pull away for air, you thumb away your gloss on his bottom lip and bite his bottom lip gently.

“I adore you,” You say dreamily, “You are so… Everything. Everything. I adore you.”

Jungkook’s cheeks burn, but he ducks his head for another sharp kiss. And if Yunho is watching him shove his tongue down your throat and holding your hips to his possessively then that’s fine by him.

The journey back home is a quick one (after you both stop for fried noodles, despite the inevitable heartburn it’ll give you both the next day but you’re both so hungry). You both stumble into your home in a mess of giggles and groping, nearly falling to the floor due to your clumsiness.

Jungkook has been hard since he kissed you in the club, in front of Yunho. He knew Yunho had been watching, feeling the man’s eyes on you both the entire time. His jealousy has crawled back into the box that it was unleashed from, but he knows that’s something to revisit later.

Something else to revisit is that he liked that someone else was watching him with you. He stores that information for later, instead focusing on keeping you upright from falling.

Somehow, through your blurry vision and wobbly legs, you get on your knees and palm Jungkook’s cock through his pants. A shameless moan rips through you- any and every inch of him makes you dizzy with desire.

You like him so much that it nearly makes you cry.

“Gonna blow you now,” You announce happily, fumbling with the button of his jeans and using all of your concentration and strength to pull his pants down along with his boxers. You sloppily kiss your way down his chest, spending extra time on his tattoo and licking (then biting) his happy trail before humming around his leaking cock.

He’s so wet already, and it’s all because of you.

Jungkook groans, eyes closing in pleasure as your pretty mouth wraps around his cock. He thrusts lightly into your mouth, peeling his eyes open to watch you. Only to find you already staring up at him, your makeup smudged and tears already forming in your pretty eyes. He cradles your cheek affectionately, stroking your cheekbone-

But before he can compliment you, softly praise you, he hears a noise. It originates from the back of your throat, something both familiar and unfamiliar. You gag uncontrollably around his cock, and while it’s certainly not the first time it’s happened, it’s different this time. Because you’re a little drunk. So he should be unsurprised when you retch on his cock, pull yourself off of him before your drunk self can get any more vomit on his cock and sprint into your bathroom.

You manage to lock the door in your frenzy of utter humiliation and alcohol addled mind. You hover over the toilet bowl, the sounds of you throwing up bouncing off of the walls. You’re crying, sobbing more like it- from both the pain in your chest from vomiting violently into the toilet bowl coupled with the humiliation of quite literally throwing up on your boyfriend’s cock.

You groan and squeeze your eyes shut, as if that’ll erase the memory.

“Baby,” Jungkook calls softly, his cock fully hanging out in the open, “Baby, please open the door. It’s not a big deal, but I need to wash my dick off.”

You let out a choked, watery laugh at that and move to flush the toilet and rinse your mouth out. Your cheeks burn in embarrassment when you unlock your bathroom door, and you can’t bear to look Jungkook in the eye. But he holds your wrist to his when you try to escape into the safety of your bedroom.

Your heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of your chest, heat flooding your ears in shame. It feels like your head is empty, static filling up the spaces that the silence between you both doesn’t.

“It’s just me,” Jungkook coos, “Do you want to shower with me?”

“Jungkook, ‘m absolutely mortified,” You say flatly, voice a little high in pitch as fresh tears burning behind your eyelids, “I want to evaporate from this plane of existence in about three-point-four seconds, I literally threw up on your penis, I’m so sorry. Don’t even look at me-”

Jungkook winces at your tone and the way your shoulders are hunched, hands gripping the hem of your dress unsurely.

“Baby,” Jungkook sighs, “It’s really okay, there’s nothing to apologize for. Come shower. The vomit is drying on my dick-”

But that’s the wrong thing to say because you start to cry immediately, shoving your face in your hands. Jungkook sighs, mentally kicking himself and running a hand through his purple locks. He calls your name softly and pulls you into his arms for a tight hug, despite the drying vomit on his dick, which is hanging out and brushes against your hip. You sniffle, peeking at him with shy eyes and he rubs your back soothingly.

“When I say it’s okay, I mean it,” Jungkook murmurs into your hair, “I’m sorry I didn’t realize how drunk you were. I know you feel embarrassed, but it’s just me, baby.”

He kisses you, despite your protests, and helps you rinse your mouth again. You allow Jungkook to somehow maneuver you into the shower, peeling you out of your clothes. You feel grimy and sticky from the club and you’re grateful for the cool water against your skin. You stand behind Jungkook, wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing your face in between his shoulder blades, letting him wash himself.

“Can I wash you?” You whisper, voice unsure. You feel awful, cheeks burning but still. He nods and you take your body wash and lather him with it, washing his now limp dick gently and swallowing nervously.

“See? Not a big deal,” Jungkook says, coaxes you out of your nervousness, “Lemme wash you, baby.”

And so he does, taking your loofah and gently rubbing your skin. Under the cool spray of water, your nerves slip away with each giggle and kiss that he pulls and plants from your lips. Your eyes are still a little shy, a little slick with alcohol. But it’s just Jungkook, and you’re safe with him.

Jungkook nearly wrestles you to get you to eat something more, after throwing up the remainder of your guts after you both had showered (it was mainly just water and alcohol at this point). You’re nearly falling asleep on his shoulder but he manages to shake you awake for a slice of leftover noodles and two glasses of water. But eventually, he coaxes you into eating with a few kisses, hugs, and shoulder rubs.

Once you both are in bed, Jungkook wraps himself around you, his hands immediately drifting below your sleep shirt to your belly. Your cheeks burn as the events of the night replay in your mind’s eye and you press your face into your pillow with a groan.

“I can’t believe I threw up on your dick a-and you’re so nice a-about it,” You mumble, “You really are everything.”

“Well, what else am I going to do if the girl I like vomits on my dick,” Jungkook murmurs, “Don’t worry about it, baby. It happens.”

“To who? Only to me,” You say sadly, “I drank too much. I’m sorry, Kook-”

“Shhh,” Jungkook says, tightening his arms around you and kissing your forehead, “I promise it’s okay. I promise I’m not looking at you any differently.”

His words make you relax in his hold and you nod. Jungkook tilts your jaw towards him, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You don’t say anything else after that, only allowing your soft, breathy sighs to spill out of your lips and into him with every comforting kiss and every slip of his tongue in your mouth.

He tells you to rest in between kisses, but your eyes are already closed.

**************************************

MOM TAGS: @tiemeuptogoldenchains @boymeetsparadise @jungkooksseuphoria @kaepjjangiya @drumsofheaven @ppeachyttae @tae-bebe @yiyi4657 @mygscafe @beeeetsandskzreads @maichiverse @hordanhearsawhooo @anonymous2505 @dreadity @mysugarkoo @ultraanonymousey @moonchild1 @fan-ati--c @yeotan07

TAGS: @kookdbean @codeinebelle

[violettelueur]

— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE TWENTY ONE || JUJUTSU KOSHIEN

↳ featuring : basically everyone at this point from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : mention of violence + mention of injuries + EXTREME grammar issues

↳ form : story

↳ published : 20 april

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 4.4k

↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....

↳ previous episode : nonstandard 

↳ next episode : jamais vu

↳ barista’s notes : let me admit, i ain’t confident in this chapter since i started school again, but i hope you enjoy this episode and thank you for being so patient with me as i try to fit tumblr into my schedule with school ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ

BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:

1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only.

2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter.

2.5. for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique : hopefully this video is slightly better...

Destructive Curse Spell Number Thirty-Three : Sokatsui (6:00-6:07) (blue lighting explosion - Itadori Yuji)

3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing.

this is Y/N outfit when she came into the baseball game (blame twitter)

“How much longer are you going to stare at her? It’s creepy”

Snapping out of his daze, Gojo quickly looked up from your sleeping figure to find his stoic student (who was now sitting up) looking at him with a deadpan expression before he turned to look at your sleeping figure as well with somewhat of a worried expression, wondering what caused you to be knocked out since what Fushiguro could recall was that the last time he saw you, it seemed like you were well and confident before he was carried away by Panda.

“Is it bad to worry about my daughter?” Gojo questioned with a hint of a teasing tone before looking back down at you with his small smiling turning into a straight line.

“Student to be exact, but I guess not after what the curses were after,” Fushiguro quietly mentioned causing Gojo to once again, look up to view Fushiguro with a confused expression painted on his face, trying to convey that he didn’t have a clue on what his student was trying to say. “The special-grade was after L/N...but I don’t know why,” Fushiguro instantly declared as if he was answering to his teacher’s perplexed expression leading to Gojo sighing in frustration before taking one of his hands out of his pocket to stroke your hair as if it would bring you some comfort in your dreamless slumber as he then processed to remove his other hand from his other pocket to reveal a carton of orange juice before placing it on the bedside table.

“Is that so?” Gojo asked rhetorically, before making his way towards the door since he was informed that there was going to be a meeting with the Jujutsu Tech principles and sorcerers that were involved with the whole Exchange Event incident.

However, before he was able to grab onto the handle, the wooden door violently flew open showcasing his other students Itadori and Kugisaki on the other side with a box of pizza in hand leading Gojo to smile at them both.

“Oh Gojo-sensei! What are you doing here?” Itadori asked once he comprehended that it was his teacher blocking the way to see his two other classmates.

“Ah~ I was just visiting Megumi and Y/N before I go, make sure to not make too much noise, I’m sure Y/n would really appreciate it,” Gojo answered with a cheerful tone, leading Kugisaki to tilt her head to the side to realise that you were sleeping - much to her disappointment.

“She’s still recovering?” Kugisaki then questioned, leading her teacher to look at her before explaining that you were knocked out due to using an excessive amount of cursed energy within a short amount of time causing Kugisaki to nod to his little lie since he didn’t even know why you were extremely distraught when he came to collect you.

“I’ll be going now, so see you later~ don’t wake up my precious daughter!” Gojo states with a playful tone, before waving his hand to all of the first-years leaving them to themselves with a warm box of pizza in hand.

                                                 ꕥ

“Next up are the casualties: three second-grade sorcerers, one semi first-grade sorcerer, five assistant supervisors, and two cursed storehouse guards. They’re all sorcerers who were standing by at Jujutsu High and working separately from Gojo-san and Principal Yaga. We’re waiting on the report from Ieiri-san, but we’re nearly certain it was the work of the cursed spirit that Nanami-san encountered before,” Ijichi explained as he was looking down at the document sheets he had in hand to inform all the sorcerer that was in front of him about the situation at hand.

“Tsk,” Gojo tutted in annoyance while leaning against the door with his lower face tucked into the collar of his sorcerer uniform.

“Do you think we should share this information with the students and the other sorcerers?” Utahime asked as she turned to her colleagues.

“No,” the Kyoto principal: Gakuganji quickly answered, as the fellow principal from Tokyo: Yaga explained that it was better for this information to be among the higher-ups as he didn’t want to cause anymore panic to the students residing in the area right now as well as not wanting any of the curse users in their captivity to know that a few special-grade objects that been stolen from the school premises.

“Has the curse user we captured spilled anything?” principal Yaga queried, leading Ijichi to explain that it wasn’t hard to get the certain curse user to talk at all since he was quite cooperative but all they managed to receive was irrelevant information that was deemed somewhat unhelpful to them.

“However, he claims that he only participated in the attack because he was ordered to as part of a deal,” Ijicji added, before informing everyone about the monk that the curse user was talking about when he was interrogated.

“An androgynous monk kid with a bob cut? That ring any bells?” MeiMei asked, as she turned her head slightly to peer at Gojo, who was right behind her.

“Nope! We sure he’s not spouting bullshit? Is there any sorcerer skilled at getting confessions?” Gojo answered before asking his questions since he knew he couldn’t be too sure if the curse user was even telling the truth in the first place.

“How did a cursed spirit and outsiders get through Tengen-sama’s barriers in the first place?” Utahime questioned, as she was still confused on how so many people were able to get in without any problems and alerts.

“That was probably the work of the special-grade cursed spirit the students fought, that one has a unique presence. Even though it’s a cursed spirit, it’s incredibly close to a natural spirit. According to Aoi, it was able to hide among plants and was quite burnt from a few techniques like wood would be, and Tengen-sama’s barrier doesn’t function against plants. Tengen-sama’s barrier puts all its power into hiding, not protecting, so once you get in, it’s kind of weak,” Gojo answered his colleague with an explanation that led the whole room to turn completely silent for quite some time.

‘Are they worried about Sukuna’s Finger enhancing Yuji’s potential? Or are they trying to enhance themselves? Why would they need Y/N then? Something isn’t sitting right’

“For now, let’s be glad our students are safe,” Utahime mentioned with a calm smile presented on her face as there was one calm and good news that they would celebrate on.

‘Safe? How long until Y/N is going to stay safe? For how long?’

“But it goes without saying that the exchange event is now cancelled,” principal Yaga informed everyone as he turned to look at the fellow Kyoto principal, who was sitting right near him.

“Hold on, that’s not for us to decide, is it?” Gojo asked in a light tone, causing everyone in the room to look at him in confusion since they didn’t know what they meant by it not being their decision.

                                              ꕥ

“When did you start getting along with that gorilla?”

At this moment, Itadori and Kugisaki were sitting next to each side of Fushiguro’s bed, as they were visiting both you and him, while all of them were munching on the pizza (which only had a few slices left) that was currently sitting on top of Fushiguro’s legs.

“Well, we got along, but like...I remember what happened, but I wasn’t exactly myself then…” Itadori answered in complete uncertainty as he didn’t even know the answer himself, causing him to scratch his head in confusion.

“What, were you drunk?” Kugisaki questioned in confusion since she was expecting a confident answer from her classmates.

“You believe I could’ve been drinking liquor in this situation? I’m shocked,” Itadori mentioned before looking down with somewhat of a disappointed look that his owl friend thought of him like that. “But I’m glad you and Y/N weren’t seriously hurt, Fushiguro. You’re able to eat pizza now, too” Itadori stated with a smile on his face as he turned to look at the shikigami user before turning his head to see your still sleeping figure on the bed behind Kugisaki causing her to turn around to check if you had woken up yet.

“Come on, bring me something easier to digest,” Fushiguro replied since he was still recovering but nonetheless, took the food that was given to him.

“No complaining,” Kugisaki answered back before taking another bite of her pizza slice before snatching the box away from Itadori, who was about to grab another slice, due to her wanting to save the last remaining two slices of the cheesy food for you.

“Apparently, I got off easier because my cursed energy was all dried up, Ieiri-san was still able to fix me up as soon as the roots were removed, but I didn’t know Gojo used up so much cursed energy as well, Gojo seemed really worried when he went to Ieiri-san,” Fushiguro explained before turning his head to glance at you.

“Huh, so that’s a thing that can happen?” Itadori questioned.

“You fought against them, didn’t you? Also, did you see the flowers right above us when we were in the veil? They were so pretty!” Kugisaki commented, before looking up as if she was going to answer who was the person was that released the technique.

“Flowers? Oh, you mean the pink ones?! Kugisaki, those were so dangerous, didn’t you see the blue lighting explosion that happened right after?! It literally gave the curse a whole gash across its body!” Itadori exclaimed in shock causing Fushiguro to remember the array of flowers that were hanging in the sky when Panda was carrying him just before he crossed the veil.

“It was so beautiful though, I hope to see them again, I wonder who it was?” Kugisaki questioned before finishing off the last piece of pizza.

“Itadori, you’ve grown stronger. Back then, we both said our convictions were proper ones, I still think that’s true. Or, put another way, we’re both wrong,” Fushiguro mentioned with a low tone, causing both Itadori and Kugisaki to look at him as he was talking.

“Huh?” Itadori uttered in a confused tone, while Kugisaki processed to rest her face on the palm of her hand with a small pout.

“Some questions don’t have answers, you know. You’re thinking too hard, you’ll go bald,” Kugisaki mentioned.

“That’s right. There is no answer, it’s just whether or not you can accept it. But there’s no accepting anything if you can’t have it your way. Weak sorcerers can’t do that,” Fushigurp replied back causing the whole room to go silent as they were beginning to process what Fushiguro had said in his mind.

“So I’m going to become strong, too. I’ll surpass you in no time,” Fushiguro declared as he turned to face Itadori with a look of determination.

“You never change,” Itadori responded with a small light giggle.

“Don’t just move the conversation forward without me, we need to catch up with him and Gojo,” Kugisaki mentioned with annoyance painted on her face.

“That’s my brother’s friends for you!” 

Suddenly, the first-year trio rapidly turned their heads forwards to suddenly discover Todo sitting down right in front of Fushiguro’s bed with a smile on his face as he nodded proudly of the conversation that he had interrupted.

Unexpectedly, Itadori rushed towards the glass sliding door next to your bed and opened it with a loud bang before swiftly sprinting away from Fushiguro’s room as fast as a cheetah, only for Todo to follow behind him yelling out where his brother was going.

“I’m grateful to you, but give me a break!” Itadori screamed, causing Fushiguro and Kugisaki to look at the scene with deadpan shocked faces. However, what they didn’t seem to notice was you softly groaning at the loud noise that was happening right now leading your eyes to slowly open but quickly close due to the bright lighting in the room right now.

Hesitantly, you slower opened your eyes again to see a maroon coloured ceiling before blinking a few times to focus your sight, causing you to gradually sit up on the bed you were laying in as your looked down onto your lap leading your hair to cover your face away from your classmates, who now finally noticed that you had awakened from your slumber.

“Gojo, you’re awake!” Kugisaki announced with a smile on her face, yet that smile slowly disappeared once she noticed how you weren’t answering her at all, but rather you kept silent as your hand began to bring itself to your forehead as if you had a headache.

‘So loud…’

After sitting in silence for a while, you noticed that you were wearing a long white button-up with some black Adidas shorts leading you to wonder who changed you since Kugisaki was the only one to ever see you in your undergarments since she was always the one barging into your changing room to throw more clothing pieces for you to try. However, that was one minor inconvenience to think about right now.

Slowly, you turned your body around (so your back was facing Fushiguro and Kugisaki) before placing your feet down onto the wooden flooring, leading Fushiguro to worry about you falling since you had been asleep for quite some time, yet for some reason, you couldn’t hear him at all.

Steadily, you began to stand up with your hand on the mattress to keep some stability in case you did stumble back before you began to make your way towards the gap of the glass door that Itadori and Todo left through before gently lifting your head up to admire the clear sky from above.

‘It’s warm…’

Casually, your body began to lean on the side of the door to give yourself some support as you began to brisk in some of the light warmth the sun was giving you as if that was enough to bring you the comfort that you wanted right now before noticing how the wind was slowly picking up.

“Gojo, you would really get back in bed, you’re still in the healing process and it’s quite cold,” Kugisaki mentioned as she stood up to come to collect you and guide you back to back. However, for some reason, something was telling her to stop as she noticed how you were not listening to anyone at all - or, you just didn’t hear them as it seemed like your hearing was blocked for any human to human communication.

Instantly, the wind that was picking up suddenly blew out a large gush causing some of the leaves from the trees to violently ruffle from its branches while your hair was now messily blowing in the wind as you leaned against the side closer to maintain your footing before you steadily noticed a few pink petals making their way towards you from your right side causing your eyes to widen in shock.

‘There’s still some more?’

Slowly lifting your hand to the sky, you lightly felt the petal grazed your fingers ever so slightly before they slowly become disintegrated to a flow of cursed energy they were made out of causing Kugisaki to look at them in amazement as she stood by your side, as she realised that more was coming towards you both as if you were a magnet to them leading her to come to an assumption that you were the one that cast the flowers back when she was in the veil with the other students and teachers as she remembered that Gojo mentioned that you had used a lot of cursed energy.

“Pretty…” you softly muttered with a small but disheartened smile, trying to hide the emptiness that your heart now had to endure.

“Right,” Kugisaki answered back as she leaned her body on your side while continuing to admire the small flower show that was happening right now causing you both to not realise that the person behind you had his eyes widened as if he had just remembered something that he had completely forgotten about.

                                              ꕥ

“So anyways, a lot happened and some people died, but how about it? Want to  continue with the exchange event?” Gojo asked all the students who were in the room right now...well all of them minus one.

“Where is Gojo though? Shouldn’t she be here?” Fushiguro asked while standing here the staircase as Kugisaki and Maki began to look around the room to see if you really weren’t here with them causing him to look at Fushiguro, scared about his perspective skills.

“Ah~ about that, she’s moving her stuff from her dorm to my clan’s estate for her safety!” Gojo announced before clapping his hands to the side like he did when you first came into Jujutsu Tech leading everyone in the room to widen their eyes at the news since it was quite unexpected since you seemed like the type to reject the idea since Tengen’s barrier was helping you to be protected - but for you, it was easier for you to hide your family heritage if you weren’t in the dorms much to your dismay.

“I don’t know what to say about it…” Itadori muttered as he was thinking of an answer for both the continuation of the Kyoto Sister Exchange Event as well as your sudden move away from the Jujutsu Tech student dorms.

“Obviously...we continuing it, of course,” Todo declared, causing Itadori to suddenly tense up as he steadily backed up near Gojo to have some coverage and security.

“Your reasons?” Gojo asked as he turned to look at the Kyoto student.

“First, only those with a connection to the dead have the right to mourn them, it’s not our place to butt in there and second, if people have died, that’s all the more reason we need to become stronger, besides if it weren’t for the flower technique back then, we wouldn’t have been able to cause more crucial damage to those cursed spirits. Acquired strength comes from the accumulation of results. Tasting defeat and savouring victory is what leads up to grow, the most important part is for those results to exist,” Todo explained as he became to recall the blue lightning that damaged the special-grade curse to a massive degree which was enough for him to gain the upper ground during his fight leading Gojo to internally smile at the information.

“Todo-senpai’s surprisingly reliable,” Miwa whispered to her classmate Mai.

“Reliably crazy,” Mai answered as she rested her head on her knuckles.

“Third, when a student feels like they weren’t able to bring out their best, it hangs over them until they die,” Todo mentioned with a confident smile.

“How old are you?” Gojo suddenly questioned, as Todo wasn’t even as old as he was and the Kyoto student was already talking about ‘hangs over then until they die’.

“I’m fine with that,” Fushiguro mentioned.

“We’ll win anyway,” Kugisaki stated with confidence.

“It sounds stupid, but he has a point,” Kamo replied with calmness.

“Why don’t you rest, Kamo-kun?” Nishimiya mentioned as she stared at her classmate with a fed-up expression due to the bandages wrapped around his face.

“No objections here,” Panda declared as he was answering for the second years in the Tokyo side.

“Salmon~” Inumaki replied back.

“Will we draw lots for the individual battle pair-ups? I want to see Gojo beat Todo’s ass again,” Maki asked before mentioning you since she wanted to see you in a proper fight rather than the million of practice rounds you had with her causing Kugisaki to smile at the thought as well.

“Huh? There are no individual battles this year,” Gojo unexpectedly announced, causing all of the students from both Tokyo and Kyoto to become extremely perplexed.

“I hate routines, you know. Every year, we put the competition methods in this box and open it on the day of,” Gojo explained before tossing the wooden box to Itadori, who looked up for his permission to take out whatever was in the box which he was granted when the teacher nodded at him.

Reaching into the wooden box, Itadori’s fingers felt one single piece of paper within the box before he carefully took it out to see what was written on it, only for him to blink that the wording in pure confusion.

“Baseball?!” Principal Yaga exclaimed in confusion leading Itadori to suddenly discover that both principals from the Jujutsu Tech schools were peering over his shoulders, causing Gojo to walk out of the building with a pleasant smile on his face.

Once outside, he could hear the commotion from behind as he stretched his arms happily before placing his hands in his pocket as he noticed you were standing in front of him with some distance, while one hand on your hips and the other holding a familiar carton of orange juice that he remembered leaving on the bedside table when you were recovering.

“Going home?” he asked before making his way towards you.

                                              ꕥ

Currently, you were walking towards a certain baseball field after finishing some moving your items to the Gojo clan’s estate with an outfit consisting of a simple white button-up shirt tucked into a long black skirt paired with black heeled ankle boots that you decided to wear for the first time since they had been sitting in the box for quite some time after you had brought them on your last shopping trip with Kugisaki.

From what you could hear from the distance, there seemed to be a lot of shouting going on meaning someone didn’t know the rules of the game or they just been called out and the player wasn’t having it at all.

Opening the metal gate, a few people began to notice you coming into the field leading some of your Tokyo classmates to greet you while a certain black divine dog decided to leave it’s owners side to rush to yours before sitting down in front of you with what seemed to be a happy look on its face causing a small smile tp quickly appear on your face as you began to pat its head.

“Hi there,” you greeted it, causing the dog to bark back at you while its tail continuously thumped the ground as if to express the happiness it had when it saw you.

“Shouldn’t you go back to Fushiguro to play the game?” you questioned it causing it to whine slightly before listening to you as it got up and turned back around to head towards Fushiguro, leading you to look at the side to see if there were any seats for you to sit on.

“Ah, Gojo! Are you going to play baseball with us?” Itadori asked cheerfully, causing you to smile back at him before rejecting the offer.

“You guys already started, so there is no point in my playing, but thank you for the invite,” you stated before quickly taking a seat on the bench behind you as you patted your skirt to stop any creases that were going to appear before spectating the game that was happening in front of you right now.

After a while, you had to admit that watching everyone from Jujutus Tech play baseball was certainly more interesting than the actual official game themselves on the TV screen you see from time to time, while Kugisaki throwing her helmet to the ground after the whole pitching machine incident to everyone being shocked at Momo catching the ball on her broom leading Itadori and Inumaki to shout to Todo being hit by Maki’s pitch leading everyone to encourage her further.

‘What a mess’ you thought with a grateful expression on your face that you weren’t playing in his game for the second day of the Exchange Event.

“Are you okay?” someone suddenly asked, causing you to snap out of your thoughts to look to your right to find Fushiguro looking at you with an unreadable expression on his face. 

Unable to say your answer, you nodded at him before turning back to face yourself forwards as you gradually began to recall some of the events that had happened for the past few days before your head steadily placed itself on the middle of your chest as the empty feeling was somewhat still lingering - like as if something was dragged out of your soul.

‘1000 years ago…’

“Yeah...I’m fine,” you answered slowly as more information began to recall in your mind. From how you were sealed a thousand years ago only for the same sealed to be opened fifteen years ago leading to where you were now...surrounded by people that could potentially either keep you safe or do something that had many outcomes, especially with Sukuna residing within Itadori - with relief he didn’t know anything about your real birth.

‘Should I tell Gojo?’

“Gojo...I wanted to ask...have we met before? Like before we met in Sendai?” Fushiguro questioned you with a stutter causing your eyebrow to crook up in confusion leading Kugisaki, who was next to you to look at you with the same confusion.

“No, we never met before, you drag,” you answered, still perplexed on how he came up with a question with such an obvious answer leading you to lift your hand to flick his forehead for such a stupid question.

“Is that so?” Fushiguro muttered under his breath before looking up in the sky with amazement at how far Itadori had hit the ball with his bat while you and Kugisaki did the same.

‘Tiger of the West Middle...still lives up to that name’

Unexpectedly, you heard a childish giggle leading you to turn your head to find Gojo passing the school principals while using his infinity to keep the ants below his feet safe to which caused you to scoff in amazement at how lacked he was to use his technique all the time.

“Let’s go home Y/N!” Gojo shouted, causing you to look at him with a crooked eyebrow before scoffing once again at his playful behaviour.

“Let’s go home,” you whispered under your breath before everyone in the first year stood by your side and followed you out of the field to have a conversation with you before you left to go back to the Gojo estate.

‘Home huh?’

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[house-of-no-regrets]

No Regrets [in the wee hours]

Took a bit longer than expected, but I’ve finished the next little story! Hopefully I’ll be able to keep a decent pace on these. No overarching plot, just little stories in the same universe with the same characters. Warning for ~*murder*~ in this one!

-------------

I've been all-too-easy to wake up since I was a child; I'd often needed to go from dead asleep to functional, if groggy, as soon as I heard my father demanding action or attention. While I no longer need that reaction time, the old man long since locked up to rot, my brain is set in its ways and very convinced that I need to be able to bolt out of bed and fight God if a dust bunny moves too quickly in my vicinity.

Which is how I found myself waking up in the middle of the night, the sudden shift in the atmosphere bringing on consciousness with all the subtlety of a foghorn.

My room was silent, still, but I knew without opening my eyes that there was a spirit somewhere, and I didn't even give them a chance to speak before I pointed at the sign posted on my wall, barely shifting from my comfortable snuggle in my blanket and not even opening my eyes. Yes, this happens more often than I care to admit. No, I do not enjoy it. At all.

"Resurrection hours are noon to eight. I'm still alive and still need sleep to function."

There was silence, but the presence didn't leave, so I groaned and raised my head, finally opening my eyes to see the translucent, vaguely glowing, and unfortunately blurry spirit at the foot of my bed.

It did finally speak in a bewildered voice.

"Um, I'm being murdered."

Ah, fuck.

I grabbed my glasses from the bedside table and put them on. The spirit at the foot of my bed was tallish -- I've always been bad at estimating height, maybe half a foot shorter than Yvette? Five-nine... ish? -- and seemed to be in his twenties. There was a considerable dark stain on his chest and belly; likely blood, and the cause of his death. The newly-dead tend to show things like that, as they haven't had the time to get used to modifying their form.

I really hate it when brand new ones find me. I'm not sure how it started, but it seems like more and more often, now, the dead are drawn to No Regrets before they even realize they're dead, at least if they're the type to need my help. Wish I wasn't the one who had to break it to him. I'm not great with people.

"Sorry, bro, but I'm afraid they succeeded. Where was it? I'll get the police over there."

"Uhh... my house. I think. It's a little..."

I sighed. Right.

"You're probably a little out of it still... fresh dead usually are. C'mon, I'll take you around until things look familiar."

Climbing out of bed, I headed over to grab my hoodie from the back of the chair. I learned the hard way that sleeping is not a tits out sort of occasion when you're liable to get the dead dropping in at all hours of the night, so I sleep in pajama pants and a tank top. Little too chilly for tank tops outside, though. I shoved my phone in my hoodie and my feet into loafers, then started heading out of my room and down the hall.

"You remember your name?" I asked, trying to make conversation and learn what I could.

"Uh, Davis. Craig? Craig Davis."

"Well, Craig Davis, I'm sorry to hear about your passing. You're gonna need to possess me for this little adventure, by the way, but I'll walk you through it once we're outside."

"I- what?"

Considering how often I find myself lost in normal conversations, dealing with confused new spirits is especially difficult. Still shaking off my body's angry demands for More Sleep was not helping matters in the slightest, either.

"Possession. I'll explain it in just a minute." I rubbed an eye and yawned as I stopped in the foyer to pull a set of keys off one of the hooks on the wall.

Usually, I've got a driver. Not for vanity reasons, but after three or four near-misses caused by Sudden Spirits appearing in the car with me, I elected to hire someone to drive me into and around town as needed. But it was Fuck-This-Shit O'Clock in the morning, and Graves deserved their rest. The dead don't need to sleep, but they can if they so choose -- and it does, after all, conserve energy. The same goes for Yvette and Ashby; it was too early in the morning for most people to be out and searching for a necromancer to kill, so I wasn't gonna disturb them. I could handle a simple spirit chauffeur and 911 call on my own.

The keys were to the motor scooter; it was the better choice in this situation, allowing for more mobility and no passenger seat for any extra ghosts to drop into. That did, though, mean that Craig would need to ride shotgun in my body.

When I got out to the green scooter in the driveway, I paused and looked over at Craig.

"Hey, I know you're probably still a little out of it, so Possession 101." Script time. At least having this stuff memorized made it easier to do while dozy. "Our bodies need to take up the same space, so c'mere." I beckoned Craig over.

"So like… step into you?" He asked. Good, seemed like his head was clearing up some.

"Yeah, that's part 1."

He nodded and complied, crossing the space between us and settling in the same location, the two of us clipped into each other like bugged NPCs. It always felt so weird, those moments before a spirit actually possesses you. A sort of wobbly, in-and-out feeling like physics is trying to crush you and the spirit together, or, failing that, just kick your ass to the ground so you're not both in the same place at the same time.

"A'ight, now turn around and face the direction I’m facing, and overlay your hands onto mine as best you can." It was just a moment for him to obey, and I continued. "I'm not resisting, so you're gonna start feeling like you're being pulled in and pushed out at the same time. Space is trying to equalize. Let yourself be pulled in. It's gonna feel a bit like-"

The whirlpool effect kicked in before I could finish, the sudden snap and release of tension as Craig's spirit sank into my body. I wobbled a bit and grabbed the handlebar in front of me, then shivered at the sudden chill and dizziness. I'm pretty good at taking on passengers like this, but that didn't make it any more pleasant.

"You in there, buddy?" I asked out loud. Especially with new spirits, trying to think at each other was more trouble than it was worth. My lips moved to answer, though it wasn't my voice coming out.

"Uh- yeah. Yeah I'm here."

I grabbed the helmet hanging on the other handlebar and snapped it on, kicking the stand up and plopping heavily onto the seat.

"Great. Let's go."

"Wait, why am I not in control?" came Craig's confused voice. He felt almost frustrated, an undercurrent of emotion that wasn't mine despite being in my mind and body.

"Because this is my body, and I let you in willingly. Easier to keep control when you're letting someone in. Plus," I gave a little snort. "You just died, dude. I've been letting spirits possess me since middle school."

I felt his frustration turn to grumpiness, and then the pressure in my head, like a storm rolling in, that I knew from experience was him trying to take control. I froze and let out an irritated huff.

"You stop that. I'm not dealing with you doing some dumb shit with my body. Either chill out or get out."

"Oh- uh. Just wanted to see if I could…"

"Uh-huh. Anyhow, now that you're together enough to try joyriding, do you remember much about where you were before you were killed?"

I started up the scooter as emotions rolled through my mind, detached and distant, almost like the muffled dissociation I was used to mid-shutdown. Possessing spirits' emotions always felt weird like that, both mine and not mine, held at arm's length. Craig's was especially turbulent for a new death, but given that he had been murdered… I didn't fault him for being a little confused and angry. Even if it did put me a little on edge. 

"Uh- South Pine Street, Dogwood Acres housing development."

"Baller. That's not far from here. Once we get close to your body, you should be able to feel where it is, so I'll have a house number for the police. Don't want to have them scream in all blue lights and loud sirens and have your killer go to ground before they know which house, y'know?"

The muffled flare of anger that I felt was definitely not my own. I took a deep breath, hoped that the killer had panicked and tried to clean up instead of get rid of the body first, and puttered off towards Dogwood.

The housing development was quiet, lines upon lines of identical suburban boxes lit by flickering street lights that cast the sidewalks and yards in harsh white light. The occasional house had the glow of yellow within, but most of them were dormant. Weaving my way through the maze of streets, each one absolutely indistinguishable from the one before and the one to come, I felt terribly exposed -- and alone despite the spirit currently hitching along in my body.

I turned onto South Pine and brought my scooter to a puttering stop, stabilizing it with both feet on the ground. I couldn't help but bounce my legs to replace the vibration of driving; the sudden lack of sensation would ratchet my anxiety up even if I wasn't currently letting a frustrated dead man hang out in my head to catch his murderer.

...I should be more than a little anxious, really, but half-asleep Tabby once again wrote a check that more-awake Tabby is having to cash, and more-awake Tabby is very used to having to deal with the consequences of her idiot decisions. It occurred to me that normal peoples' consequences didn't usually involve murder, but when you live with the dead, you're bound to meet a few killers.

Two houses down, I could feel- not a tug so much as a presence, an echo of Craig's spirit reacting to his body. It was the only one on the street with its lights on and its garage, while not lit, was open. There was a car in the garage, another in the driveway, and a pickup at the curb in front.

"258?" I asked Craig, though I knew the answer already. His anger flared and I felt the oncoming storm again. I snapped at him. "That's two strikes, Craig. I'm sorry for your death, but if you end up driving my body into a crime scene or, god forbid, getting me killed next, I will kick your ass to whatever afterlife you're headed for and stay there to keep kicking it for eternity."

Big words for a short fat lady, but this is, in fact, my body on the line right now. I probably wouldn't be able to follow through on any ass-kicking, but dammit, I would try.

Craig was silent, and I could feel him steaming, petulant like a child denied a toy but with the power of a grown man behind it. With my stomach tying itself in knots and my hands starting to tremble, I dialed 911, hoping it would help quell the rising panic.

"258 South Pine Street. I think there's been a murder. I don't know the state of the crime scene or if the perp is still there, but you might be able to catch them if you hurry. The victim is Craig Davis, white adult male, either shot or stabbed in the chest, likely multiple times-"

"Wait, is this Tabby? The necro girl?"

Oh god I hope that isn't what the operators call me regularly-- I know I'm a bit of a 911 cryptid, since the usual intruder calls are to the non-emergency line, but if I get known as the necro girl I might have to move to a different state.

"Yeah, uh, necromancer, yeah-" I couldn't help but stumble over my words, now, with my train of thought derailed by the interruption. "-uh, murder?"

"Right! I'll send someone."

I murmured a thanks and hung up before she could ask me to stay on the line. I already had to stay around for the cops so Craig could give a statement, and making small talk with the 911 operator was not in the spoons tonight.

I don't like cops much, but in my line of work, they're kind of a necessity. I need to stay on the police force's good side because I need them to remove attempted murderers from my property on the regular. ...and also because graverobbing is still technically illegal, even if I do have the body owner's permission to dig them up.

At least most of the locals who know of me and my employees are chill about it. It took a bit of effort to get to that point, but now at least people don't run screaming from the less-presentable of my employees…

The blue lights of the police showed up fairly quickly, followed almost immediately by the red flashing of EMS. I puttered up slowly and parked my scooter just out of range as the officers set to work surrounding the house, then hung my helmet on a handlebar and walked up the rest of the way to watch the impending train wreck. I could feel Craig's anger boiling higher and tried my best to ignore it; Craig himself seemed to have fallen silent and sullen after I called him out.

"Tabby!"

I was standing just off to the side of the ambulance when someone stepped up behind me and called my name, making me jump and cringe.

"Oh- oh dear, I'm sorry, Tabs. I thought I heard you were the one who called this in!"

I straightened up immediately, face burning. I recognized that voice, bright and smooth and kind and--

"J-Jenna!" My voice was barely a squeak as I turned to face her, looking up at the round, dark face of one of the EMTs. She was a good six feet tall, maybe more, towering above me even in her uniform flats, with a brilliant smile and full lips and gorgeous natural hair pulled through the back of her uniform cap, the streetlight illuminating her from behind like a halogen angel.

Jenna had shown up to one of my early calls for assistance at No Regrets, and then she kept turning up, not every time I was in a situation where I'd be around EMTs, but often.

Concern showed on her face as she leaned to look me over.

"Are you okay? Did you see it happen, or-"

I shook my head, buying time to sort out words by tapping my temple with a finger.

"N-no, I uh- the victim woke me up, he's in here, uh, in case the cops need somethin' from him."

"Oh… are you getting enough sleep, dear? You sound exhausted. Do you want to sit in the back of the truck?"

It took me a second or two to recover from the way she called me dear, my face burning bright red. I couldn't make eye contact even for the second or two I can usually manage so that people don't immediately think I'm being dishonest.

"I- uh- um- w-well, it's, uh, it is like 4am--" I stammered, trying desperately to find words. "I-I guess 'm sleepin' okay, uh, how're… you doing??"

I have never been a great orator and the list of why that is gets a bit longer with every um and stutter.

Jenna's face bloomed into a gorgeous, open grin.

"I'm on 12-hour overnights right now, so I'm basically at least 60 percent Red Bull at any given time. Everyone okay up there at the House? Last I heard y'all were digging up half the lawn.”

I nodded, unable to keep from grinning. At least this was a subject I could talk to her about without making an absolute ass of myself--

"Yeah! The new girl, Chris, she's gotten Daryl and Roy to help her get the vegetable garden going! It's plenty big enough to take care of all of us, and I worked out a deal with the soup kitchen so that they get any of our excess, once things are running smoothly, and I can use their account to buy from that bulk food program that's usually only open to chari- oop-!" I bit my tongue and cringed. Right. I'm pretty sure that's technically fraud and I just admitted to it in front of-

There was a commotion from the house that snapped me back to attention, and the cops were leading a man out in handcuffs. He looked pale and shaken, spattered in blood, and not quite… present, like he had just checked out of reality for his own good. That… was a familiar look. I furrowed my brow. He certainly didn't look like a maniacal killer-

"He caught me with his wife," I said. Well. Craig said. I jumped. Jenna jumped. I flushed and covered my mouth reflexively.

"N-no that was him! The victim!" I squeaked. Jenna laughed, a hearty belly laugh, and covered her own mouth, though she was doing a terrible job of hiding her grin.

"I figured! If he caught you with his wife, it would be an upgrade!"

At this point, you could probably fry an egg on my face. Hell, my glasses were starting to fog up-- I stammered for a few moments, trying desperately to find something to say, and it was Craig who saved me, if you could call it that. I was too caught up in my embarrassment and awkwardness to realize how much anger and frustration he was radiating.

"Motherfucker told me he'd have my job! Son of a bitch thinks he can get away with doing this to me, he's gonna fucking pay--"

The oncoming storm crashed over me before I could get a grip on it, and all of a sudden I was lumbering forward, snarling words that weren't my own, and dragging a gardening pickaxe out of my truck -- Craig's truck -- on my way to the man and the cops--

I let out a shriek, in my own voice, feeling the sound cutting my throat raw. I wrested control of my body back with a lurch, falling on my ass in the yard with the force of it while the silvery-blue form of Craig was ejected from my body, screaming obscenities.

I threw my hand forward, fighting for whatever thoughts and words I could find to fix this. I saw Craig right himself and move back towards me, and the first incantation -- if you could call it that -- that my brain grasped left my lips in a single desperate breath, with a dizzying rush of power--

"INTHENAMEOFTHEMOONIBANISHYOU--!!"

The force of the hurried exorcism rushed outward like a sonic boom, strong enough for even the mundanes around me to feel, and Craig's spirit let out a yowl of rage for a brief second before twisting around itself and collapsing in with a sickening crunch, crushing smaller and smaller until it was gone.

I winced -- not my best exorcism. At all.

As the flare of adrenaline dropped almost immediately and I came back to myself properly, I realized -- blurrily, as my glasses had gotten thrown off somewhere -- at least two officers had their weapons half-drawn at me, though they were looking over at where Craig's spirit had disappeared.

I collapsed the rest of the way onto the grass, shaking, and covered my face with my hands, trying with everything within me not to start crying. I should have realized he'd try something like that, why hadn't I been paying attention- I could have been attacked, I could have been arrested, I could have had to watch myself beat a man to death and I- fuck--

The sob that came out was squeaky and pained, and I pressed my hands harder against my face, like that would stop anything else from going wrong. I should have brought someone-- I shouldn't have let him possess me-- I should have been paying more attention--

Warm tears ran from the corners of my eyes, down my cheeks, to pool in my ears, making my already-trembling body shiver harder with the unpleasant sensation. I'd let myself get complacent, hadn't lost control of a possession like that in years, and- I'd almost- fuck--

"Honey, honey, sit up for me. Tabby? C'mon, let's get you up--"

Numbly, I let Jenna help me into a sitting position, where she wrapped a blanket around me and pressed an open bottle of water into my hands.

"Take slow sips. Are you okay? Just shaken?"

I nodded, some part of me grateful that I couldn't quite see her face properly without my glasses, because I didn't want to see what she thought about me after that. She sighed, though, and sounded relieved when she murmured "Good."

My whole body felt like jelly, trembling so hard I could feel the water in the bottle sloshing around, and I kept flashing from too hot to too cold to too hot again, and I couldn't even sort out my thoughts--

Jenna sat down beside me and rubbed my back. If I wasn't having a complete breakdown, I might have enjoyed it.

I don't know how long it took for me to calm down and clear my head, but the car with the other man had left, and the other EMTs had loaded Craig's body into the ambulance while Jenna sat next to me and made sure I was doing okay.

After a while, though, I blinked and shifted my torso, then opened the blanket more and cursed at the bloom of red on my hoodie.

I heard Jenna curse as well as she stood up, but I grabbed her pants leg.

"N-no, 'm okay," I mumbled, and instead of trying to speak more, I reached to pull my hoodie and tank up my stomach to show bruised, but completely unbroken skin, covered in blood, rivulets following my stretch marks and making it look even worse despite my being otherwise completely uninjured. "See, 'm okay." This was not the first time I've had a possession lead to the dead's cause of death showing on my own body. It wasn't even the bloodiest.

Jenna sat back down, and I could see her leaning in a bit.

"Well damn. Magic ghost stuff, huh?"

I nodded.

"Magic ghost stuff."

I could see the flash of white against dark skin as she grinned.

"So that exorcism… Artemis or Usagi?"

It took me a moment to parse her.question, but all of a sudden I was completely back to myself, just in time to absolutely die of embarrassment.

"L-listen, I- y-you can exorcise i-in anyone's name, i-it's the power and conviction that counts--!!"

"Usagi, then." I could hear the laughter in her voice, laughter that bubbled out moments later. I wanted to crawl in a hole in embarrassment, but- it didn't feel like condescending laughter. I knew what that felt like. She seemed just genuinely amused. "I grew up with Sailor Moon, too."

I couldn't stop the squeak that eaked out, and I covered my face again.

"G-god I hope word about this doesn't get out, people already think I-I'm weird enough, and to- to fall back on anime for magic i-in a pinch is just--"

"Cute," Jenna finished.

I squeaked.

Jenna moved away for a moment, and then she settled my glasses on my nose. I couldn't make eye contact, but I did glance over at her and sheepishly murmur my thanks.

"The officers still want a statement from you, since you made the call and tried to go after the perp, but I don't think they're looking at any charges, given…" Jenna trailed off and looked over at where Craig had disappeared. "...yeah."

I nodded, slowly, and then found myself yawning, the adrenaline drop setting in especially hard.

"...d'you think it can wait 'til tomorrow… 've kinda had a rough night."

"I think they'll be okay with that."

[heartcal]

“who do you believe?”; l.h. (pt. ii)

oh my GOD it’s here, it took longer than expected but she’s finally here! after the eye strain i got a sty so that threw me in for a loop, but the good news is my eyes are better! and i’m fully vaccinated too! please get the vaccine if you are able to :^) enjoy!

a/n: (formatting again lol) there’s a part where there’s supposed to be texts (in italics) so it may be a bit weird to read (hopefully not) (sorry for these parantheses) please let me know if there’s anything off!

pairing: luke hemmings x reader

summary: having known luke for years, it was bound to happen eventually. the crush you developed happened before you could stop it, and you did your best to keep it a secret. you told no one, did your best not to show it, so what do you do when his girlfriend finds out?

warnings: swearing (as usual), 

genre: angst, fluff, basically friends (to brief enemies but not really) to lovers?

wc: 5,201 (they’re getting longer, huh)

taglist: @1sosrvd1267 + @wowitsel (side note: i don’t have a current taglist, this is just for this fic!)

part one | my masterlist!

You skipped the after-party that night. You couldn’t bear standing in the same room as Luke and Rachel, so you booked a ride and left as soon as the car pulled up.

Had you stayed for the party, you would have crumbled under the looks of pity thrown at you by those who would have heard about what happened. The knowing looks that something bad had happened between two people everyone on the crew knew were best friends would have been uncomfortable.

The ride home is uncomfortably silent, but you were thankful the driver wasn’t the talkative type. The soft jazz playing on the radio wasn’t calming but it did distract you from the pain and embarrassment you felt from the argument.

Once the car had pulled up to your place, you bid a silent farewell to the driver and slid out.

You just wanted to get inside, take a shower, shut your phone for the night, and sleep until you physically can’t get any more sleep.

You’re not too surprised Luke stood up for his girlfriend. He does love her—he’s shown that with friends and with fans. But the way he glared at you, defended her without trying to find out what exactly went down…he had never looked at you like that.

You’ve seen that look before; it wasn’t something you were used to but it was the look he would give paparazzi when they would harass you, the guys, and his friends. The glare carried such strength that it would make people back off. And so when it was directed towards you, it struck you hard.

Having done what you wanted to do once you entered the house, you lay in bed with wet eyes staring at the ceiling. Your phone was face down on your nightstand, completely out of reach to the point one slight touch could knock it off.

Maybe you were the one at fault. Maybe you should’ve told the truth about your feelings to Rachel or Luke before this all happened. It could have prevented the fallout and you would be with the guys and the crew celebrating a successful show.

But what good would that have done? Had you told someone, anyone, that you liked Luke more than a best friend should, would that have caused the same problem but presented differently? Or would something come from it? Maybe nothing would have happened.

A sigh escapes your lips as you turn your back away from the nightstand, facing the empty half of the bed and before your mind drifts to more pitiful thoughts, you close your eyes.

You didn’t dream that night. It’s as if you blinked, with the night flying by faster than you had wanted and anticipated.

The sunlight beamed down on you from above your headboard. It was late morning and it was time to face the harsh reality of the day.

There is no doubt you have lost Luke as your best friend.

Wiping the sleep and crust from your eyes, you sit up and vacantly glance around the room. The box where you keep gifts from Luke is illuminated by the sunlight, and with the vacant stare you stand to walk towards it.

You hesitate to open it; it’ll bring back memories of good times and with the events of the previous night, you do not think you can handle the rush of emotions.

It’s then when you realize your phone was off, and though you don’t want to do anything social today and would rather stay home with your favorite snacks and shows, you know you have to let your friends know how you’re doing.

You stall by washing your face and brushing your teeth, albeit slower than usual. You know that once you turn your phone on, the onslaught of questions and missed calls are going to take possibly an hour to clear up.

Sure enough, as you turn your phone on, the missed messages come in, barely giving your notification tone a break and the missed calls and voicemails were coming in fast. You can feel the heat from the battery on your palm, and for the sake of the phone you switch the sound off and turn on Do Not Disturb to prevent any new calls from coming through.

The messages you saw were from the crew, asking where you went and if you were okay. Others were from the boys minus Luke, and looking through the missed calls, there was nothing from Luke.

You’re not surprised, but the pain was still simmering within and seeing no messages or missed calls from him was adding to it.

You responded to the crew’s messages first, since many of them sent one or two messages asking simple questions: “Are you okay,” “Where did you go,” and “Did you get home safe?”

Then you responded to the boys’, Michael’s first since he had the least amount of messages.

hey, you didn’t have to leave. we could’ve talked some sense into him when he calmed down (11:37pm)

did u get home okay? we know you didn’t drive here yourself. (11:58pm)

please let us know you made it home. let us know you’re okay (12:10am)

hope you made it home and that you’re safe and okay. thank u for ur work today. please text me when you see these. goodnight (12:49am)

You typed your reply to him, letting him know that you were okay and got home safe.

Calum’s messages were similar, asking the same questions but some were repeated to emphasize his worry. In response, you answered his questions like Michael’s.

But even before you can open Ashton’s messages, seeing double digits next to your conversation with him, rapid knocks on your front door grab your attention.

With a groan you stand and grab your robe from the hook on the door, wrapping it tightly around your body as you open the door and groggily walk to the front door.

It was a stupid idea, as you weren’t ready to face anyone yet Ashton stands in front of you. He’s well-rested, a stark contrast to you as you were sure your eyes were still puffy and bloodshot, along with an occasional sniffle from your nose.

His eyes travel from your face, down to your feet, and back up to your eyes. He can immediately tell you had a terrible night.

“You weren’t answering anyone last night,” he begins, tilting his head as he narrows his eyes, “we were worried about you after you left.”

“Yeah,” you sighed, “I just—I didn’t feel like talking to anyone.”

“You could’ve let one of us know that you were shutting off.”

You nodded with a frown, “I could have, yeah,” your eyes dart around behind him to avoid his worrisome eyes before asking him if he wanted to come in.

He doesn’t hesitate and steps in once you move aside, opening the door wider to give him enough room. He notes your bag in a heap on the floor a few inches away from the couch, and how your shoes were far apart, with one upside down, as if you flung them off.

“How are you holding up now?”

You shrug, still avoiding his eyes because you know if you make eye contact, you’ll break down and you won’t have control over the onslaught of emotions.

“Be honest,” his voice is soft, wanting to make you feel comfortable enough to open up.

You stare at the ground, biting the skin of your lower lip nervously. This is why you did not want to talk to anyone face-to-face. Talking to them over the phone, preferably through text, allowed you to lie to the other person (and if applicable, to yourself). But talking to someone in person, and to someone who can see through your lies, you were bound to break down and become vulnerable.

You inhale, taking careful steps to the couch and gently sitting down with a sigh. Ashton follows you, sitting next to you but giving you space to not overwhelm you.

“What happened last night—,” you lean back with your arms folded over your chest, “—was something that I feared. When I realized I liked Luke, I was so worried about him finding out and what the outcome would be. I knew from the beginning that things would never be the same if he found out, and I was afraid of the change that would come from it.”

Ashton listens intently, his eyes displaying sincerity as he listens to you list off your worries. What he saw last night bothered him to no end, and had he not exerted most of his energy during the show, he would not have slept at all and would have stayed up all night in a constant state of worry.

“So, now that Rachel knows, and no doubt Luke has caught on, I don’t know what to do. I responded to everyone’s texts before you arrived, and Luke sent nothing—not even a phone call.”

Ashton nods, swallowing before speaking, “Well, after you left, things went down that may be the reason why he hasn’t tried contacting you.”

Your head turns to face him, eyebrows furrowed as confusion embeds itself across the rest of your features.

Ashton readjusts himself, getting comfortable in his seat as he gathers the right words.

“Something happened after I left?” You ask as you shift in your seat to face him.

“Michael wanted to go after you, to at least offer you a ride back, but Calum went back to tell Luke that it was bullshit what happened. So, Michael went back to make sure they wouldn’t fight or anything. I also pointed out that he was a dick; choosing you over her when he’s known you the longest didn’t sit right with us. But he got defensive and kept wanting to leave but Rachel convinced him it was alright, so they stayed for the party. But the party was bad—the crew felt the tension and the vibes were down—,” he chuckles at the word choice, getting a small laugh out of you as well, “—it brought everyone out of the energetic and ecstatic mood we were in before the confrontation. We all kinda did our own thing during the party but we noticed things were tense between Luke and Rachel. And when the party ended, shit hit the fan.”

“What happened?”

Ashton sighs, “To make the long story short, they got into an argument when we were leaving the venue after Michael brought up your name. He said something like, ‘I hope they got home safe,’ and that you weren’t answering your phone at all. Calum and I pointed out, again, how rude Luke was to you and Luke kept defending himself. Rachel dropped an insult and something shifted. Basically, they’re done and the guys and I can finally fucking breathe.”

“Wait—,” you stand with bulging eyes, “—wait, are you saying they broke up?”

Ashton hums as he watches you mindlessly walk around your living room.

The guys have been waiting for their break-up. It’s not something they were open about, as to avoid any conflict with their best friend, but it was almost an unspoken agreement: Rachel was not liked.

As for you, it’s not like you were wishing for their break-up. You wanted Luke to be happy, and if he was happy in that relationship, then so be it. But you were not a fan of it. Yeah, you liked her in the beginning but when she started disregarding you as if you did something to offend her, you lost most of your respect for her. Now, with this news of their break-up, you don’t know what to do.

Are you happy? You don’t exactly feel happy about it, but there is some relief.

“So,” you sit back down on the couch slowly, “what am I supposed to do with this information?”

“Not sure,” Ashton shrugs, “but I recommend talking to Luke.”

You shake your head fervently, “No. I don’t feel like talking to anyone.”

“But you’re talking to me,” Ashton has a smirk, but you know there’s no malice behind his joke.

“You showed up unannounced, Ash,” you smile, “I was responding to everyone who sent messages and voicemails. I don’t feel like talking to anyone else in person.”

He holds his hands up in defense, “Fair enough, but don’t be a stranger.”

He gives you a quick hug, whispering something similar to ‘don’t shut Luke out’ before he pulls away and walks out.

Ashton’s words stuck with you for the next week. You felt comfortable enough a few days after the fact to contact the boys, eventually meeting up with Ashton and Calum for lunch and third-wheeling Michael and his fiancée. The only person out of your friend group and co-workers you have not contacted was Luke. He hasn’t contacted you either, but you do not think much about it as you’re still trying to figure things out. If he were to contact you, how do you talk about what happened?

You want to know why he was able to choose his then-girlfriend over you, but at the same time you don’t want to know the answer. You know that one day, and though it hurts, you will not be his number one. With the way he behaved that night, it felt like that dreadful moment came to earlier than expected, that he found his number one and you immediately became his second go-to person.

So it did surprise you when you were out with an old friend to receive a text from Luke.

Can we talk about what happened? (2:23pm)

You only stare blankly at the text, not even moving to type a response. You were in such a good mood, and not even this text would change it. Instead, you lock your phone and place it back in your pocket, noting to leave it alone until your day out comes to an end.

And when it does, you see that more texts from Luke had arrived, the final being sent an hour before the outing ended.

I know you’re mad, I understand that and I don’t blame you but please talk to me (2:31pm)

You’re reading these, please say something (2:33pm)

There are some things that I need to clear up with you, I want to apologize for what happened that night but I want to do it face to face. Please respond. (3:57pm)

Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be waiting. Sorry if I’m bombarding you with these texts, I just don’t want to lose you over something that I realize now should not have happened. Respond when you want to, I’ll be here. (5:49pm)

You could only let out a small chuckle at the persistent requests to talk, and you don’t deny the small—minuscule, honestly—flutter in your stomach. You don’t waste any time responding.

Sorry, I was busy. We can meet somewhere to talk. (7:08pm)

He responds about five minutes later, agreeing to meet at a small café the two of you love tomorrow afternoon.

The rest of the night for you is spent thinking of ways to carry yourself, being completely confident, and accepting the fact that you love your best friend. Pep talks in the shower and mirror to calm any arising nerves, revising the topics you want to talk about in your head so you keep the confidence.

As for Luke, he was struggling to gather all his thoughts. In the beginning, he thoroughly enjoyed the fact that you and Rachel got along. He liked seeing his best friend and girlfriend become friends like that. He didn’t notice the shift, however, and he wishes he did before things got out of hand.

When he defended Rachel, without finding out the story from all sides, he thought he was doing what was right. To him, friendships and relationships have the same base, but romantic relationships with a partner have a different structure than friendships do, and he was starting to see cracks in his friendship before he saw it in his relationship.

When he confronted Rachel after she insulted you, he started to see someone he never saw. He remembered the times Rachel ignored you, sometimes playing it off as if she never heard you. He remembered how she would make plans with everyone and exclude you, but he always played it off as an accident (even if he knew it wasn’t). He remembered all these times he noticed a change in mood when the two of you were in the same room, and he couldn’t believe he turned a blind eye to all of it.

It hurt him to break-up with Rachel—he won’t deny that because he did love her. It’s not that he saw the rest of his life with her as they weren’t at that mark in the relationship.

But, when he did picture his future, he always saw you. He always thought it was just as a friend, someone who was just joined at the hip. Yet, he was quick to throw that away for someone he rarely saw when he pictured the future.

Which is why, the next day, as he sits at a booth near the window of the café, he carefully goes over what he wants to say. He doesn’t want to ruin the chance to fix things between the two of you. If it goes awry, not only does he lose you, but his friendships with the band and the team will take a hit since they all love you.

The bell above the door rings making his head turn to watch you walk in. Your eyes danced around the café before they fell on him.

He couldn’t help the smile the formed on his lips, a small breath of relief escaping as he watches you walk towards him. The smile doesn’t stay long though, because as you sit down with a stoic expression, the reality hits him.

“I got your usual,” he’s shy and timid, pushing the mug toward you as he eyes the liquid nearly spills the edge.

You mumble a ‘thanks,’ grabbing the mug and taking a small sip. It falls silent as the two of you wonder who should start first.

Luke makes the move first. He sighs, sitting up straight and wiping his palms on his pants.

He’s nervous. When the guys started touring, visiting new cities and countries, he would always be nervous and constantly wiped his hands on his thighs, sitting up straight and even straighter if he wasn’t slouching. It’s an old habit, but something you remember fondly as he had grown out of it. Or so you thought.

“I want to start with I’m sorry,” he begins, making eye contact but fails to hold it. His eyes instead drift to his drink, “I know what I did was wrong, and I put you in a spot that hurt you and disregarded you. At the moment, I thought I was doing the right thing because she was my girlfriend, but then—” he gulps, “when she insulted you, it struck a nerve and, not to sound cliché or anything, it felt like it opened my eyes. I saw someone I didn’t see when I first met them.”

You don’t respond, just nodding your head to let him know you’re listening.

He licks his lips before continuing, “When the guys brought up how you left on your own, I was feeling nervous and they started reminding me how much of a dick I was to you. I didn’t want to admit it myself, but now, I was such an ass. I’m just—I’m so sorry for what happened.”

“Luke,” you sigh, shifting in your seat, “I’m not saying I forgive you but I accept your apology. It hurt me so much that a friend, someone I’ve known for years was just so quick to turn their back and take someone else’s side. I know she was your girlfriend, but I wish you didn’t do what you did.”

“If I could go back and fix it, I would.”

You only nod again, trying to think about other things that need to be talked about. The one topic you hope to avoid is the possibility of him knowing your feelings—something you do not want to discuss, at least not yet.

“Did she say anything to you?”

The question leaves your mouth before you register it, and the widening of your eyes catches Luke off guard.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you mutter, grabbing your mug and taking a long sip.

“She didn’t tell me what started the problems between you two, if that’s what you mean,” Luke smiles a bit, watching you nervously play with the mug’s handle after the sip. It fades when your eyes move up to meet his, “I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but it isn’t important anymore. She’s out of the picture, and I don’t want to lose you.”

The silence returns, but unlike the previous bout, it’s a calming silence. It isn’t uncomfortable, rather the air is easier to breathe and the tension isn’t unsettling.

“Where do we go from here?” Luke asks, nervously wringing his fingers.

“I don’t want to lose you as a friend, Luke,” you offer a smile, “but it’s going to take some time to ‘heal,’ if you will.”

Luke smiles again, this time a bigger grin. He nods, leaning back in his seat, “Let me know what I can do to make things better. I’ll do it if I get to keep you.”

Over the next few months, your friendship with Luke was rekindled. The guys were at ease now that Rachel was gone and you seemingly had taken her place, even though you were friends. The awkward glances they would give when Rachel was in the same room were now playful rolls of the eyes over a dumb joke or pranks. You didn’t miss out on any outings you wanted to go to, now that everyone invited would check in with each other the night before. Things went back to the way they were before Rachel.

There was a change in your friendship, however. It wasn’t something you noticed right away, but it was something you thought about at night just a few weeks ago. Luke paid more attention to you, not that he didn’t pay attention before, but this was a noticeable change where he still looks at you even after you finished talking, and would only look away from you when you caught him. He would always cover his mouth with his index and middle finger, but you saw a small smile behind them. You played it off as friendly teasing, but it tugs on your heartstrings.

Another noticeable change is the hugs. Duration-wise, they were relatively the same. However the touch lingered; if he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, an arm would stay around your shoulder, meanwhile if they were around your waist, his hand would stay on the small of your back. You played it off as a friend being protective, but yet again, it did nothing to stop your growing love.

Tonight was the first night of their tour. The boys were up to their usual pre-show antics, as well as the nervous habits; Michael fixing his hair and deciding whether to go with a beanie or a hat, or neither, Ashton was warming up with his pre-show playlist, Calum testing his bass, and Luke was relatively fine.

Sure, he was nervous because it isn’t a crowd of 500, close to 20,000, but he was calm compared to the last time he performed. He didn’t have any worries to talk about, his vocal warm-ups were smooth, and getting dressed up was a breeze. He shared chuckles with you as you both watched the others move around with tense expressions (all with no malice, of course).

“You sure you’re not on edge?” you nudge Luke with your arm as he leans forward on the couch your sitting on to fix his shoe.

“Nope,” he sits up, leaning back in his seat.

“Really?” you inquire again, doubt laced in your tone with a hint of teasing.

“Yeah,” he chuckles, “if anything I’m excited about tonight.”

You hum, crossing your arms as you watch Ashton walk over.

“Ten minutes left,” he nods at Luke before walking to Michael to tell him the same thing.

You give Luke a look, wanting to get him to admit he is nervous, but all you get is a smirk and a shrug. He stands, patting your shoulder left before walking away to put in his in-ears.

You won’t deny you still don’t have feelings for him. Throughout the past few months, you were able to pinpoint the reasons why you fell for him. The small acts, the obscure things he would remember about you—especially the ones you don’t remember yourself—with the attention he would give you. It was staring you in the face, but you chose to deny all the signals to give yourself the satisfaction of thinking it was just a phase. But now you know why you love him.

Two minutes until showtime, Ashton finishes his speech and the crew is taking their places. The band stands at the opening, waiting for their cue to head out.

As you watched them hype themselves up, you noticed Luke looking around nervously. Of course.

“Nervous?”

His head whips toward you, and you can see it in his eyes.

“A little,” he mumbles, but you don’t hear it over the crowd’s excited screams.

“You got this,” you grab his shoulders to make him look you in the eyes, “like Ash said, you guys worked your asses off for this album. The fans loved it, your shows are all sold out, and you have thousands out there waiting to see you kill it.”

He’s silent, blue eyes staring into yours as they bounce from one eye to the other.

“I love you,” he blurts, loud enough just for you to hear.

You freeze, the grip on his shoulder loosens but remain.

He notices, “She did tell me something that night, and whether or not it’s true, I-I love you.”

“Sixty seconds!” a stage recites in the earpieces.

The boys turn to look at both of you, curious eyes turn into surprise as they watch your expression.

“I don’t know how long, I don’t know when, and I don’t know what it was, but I know for sure.”

Your eyes glance at Ashton briefly, not missing the knowing smile he gives you before you look back into Luke’s eyes.

“I…love you, too,” you respond, gripping his shoulders while your eyes drop down to his shiny shoes.

He doesn’t hear you over the cheers and screams, but reading your lips he knows the answer.

Luke smiles, grabbing the back of your head and kissing your forehead.

He leans down to your ear, “I expect to hear you say it when I come back.”

With flashing lights scattering across the stage, the boys run out to the stage, big smiles gracing their faces for multiple reasons with adrenaline pumping through their veins. From backstage, you watch the show you a smile, feeling high from the brief but fulfilling confession.

It’s two hours later when the show ends. Your heart is pounding as you watch the crew celebrate the successful first show.

Luke pulls you away from the crowd, into the hallway and away from the noise.

“So it was true, what Rachel said?” Luke begins, his hand still holding yours as a shy smile forms.

“What did she say?”

He exhales air through his nose in a laugh, “She said you were in love with me, and that you were trying to break us up.”

You scoff, shaking your head as you look at your intertwined fingers. He squeezes your hand to get your attention.

“I doubt that last part, but the first part I’m hoping is true in a sense.”

Your eyes meet his, adoration swimming in them bringing a smile to your face, “There may be a strong crush I have on you,” you tease, “and it may or may not have turned into love.”

He laughs, letting go of your hand to wrap you in a hug. His head dips down, his forehead on your shoulder as he breathes in your scent. He moves slightly, whispering in your ear, “Say it.”

Your head rested against his chest, hearing his heart beat rapidly and rhythmically.

“I love you,” you whisper.

You feel him smile against your shoulder before he pulls away, his arms resting on your hips as he smiles down at you.

“If you’d like,” he begins, his tone timid now, “that place you like in Seattle has a new dish. It’s our next stop…” he drifts off, hoping you’d catch on to him asking you out.

You do, laughing at how he remembered yet another thing you seem to have forgotten. It was a themed restaurant that had some of the best food you’ve ever eaten, and for days you wouldn’t stop talking about it. But you never went back to it, even during breaks, but somehow he seemed to remember.

“Yes, Luke.”

You know the shock will hit you later that night, that finally the person you’ve fallen for, who happens to be your best friend, admitted his feelings to you. But you’re happy, Luke’s happy, and with the boys’ and crew’s reaction to the two of you walking back to the area where they’re celebrating, the happiness is infectious.

On the road in the tour bus, Ashton passes you as you respond to emails.

“Thanks for not shutting him out,” he says, drinking a small bottle of water from the fridge.

“Did you know?”

He shrugs, avoiding your eyes as he finishes the bottle and tosses it in the recycling bag. “Maybe,” he walks towards the back where the beds are, “maybe not.”

You shake your head, “You did.”

“Didn’t want to spoil it,” he gives you a quick hug before retreating to bed.

Luke walks out of the bathroom shortly after, taking his spot next to you.

“Go to bed,” you slightly shift your shoulder as he lays his head on it, “you need the rest.”

“No,” he mumbles, sleep lacing his tone, “feels like a dream. Don’t wanna wake up.”

You chuckle at his nonsense, finishing off the last email before shutting the laptop and placing it on the counter next to you. You adjust yourself on the couch to have Luke lay down with you. He readjusts himself so he doesn’t crush you, wrapping his arm around your waist and placing his head on your chest.

“I wish I had known before all the drama,” he mumbles again, eyes closed, “I want you in my life, always.”

He drifts off to sleep with that, a faint smile on his lips.

You know what made you fall in love with your best friend. You accept it now, and you’re at peace knowing the feeling is mutual.

[jeongvision]

bandaids

synopsis. in the midst of finals season, where routine takes over your lifestyle, you find solace in the voice of your most important person that always seem to know when you’re at your breaking point.

pairing. boyfriend! kim doyoung ✗ student! fem! reader

genre. fluff, angst, slice of life, hurt/comfort, college au, non idol au, established relationship au

word count. 1.8k words

warnings. cursing, mentions of anxiety, depictions of a mental breakdown

song. bandaids by keshi

author’s note. after looking at my calendar, it has come to my attention that it’s that time of the year: finals season. i just want to let all of you know that you are doing a great job. you made it this far and i’m proud of you. i promise you, you will get through this. hopefully this could give comfort in the midst of your studies. love you all.

friends of flowers fragile silence stand beside you stop your crying

If there is one thing that all college students could agree on, it’s that finals seasons are the absolute worst thing to ever go through in college. You’re constantly spending every night at the library with your eyes glued onto your textbooks, your brain rushing to keep up in retaining all the pertinent information needed for your exams. You’re devoting hours onto your laptop with your fingers typing away on your keyboard, internet tabs and pages cluttering your screen as you rush to reach the minimum page count required for your courses.

So many times you have declined all your friends’ requests for study dates or a simple get-together because you just don’t have the luxury to. As much as you’d love to take a break from your studies, you feel like you’re running out of time. It has gotten to the point where your boyfriend has to remind you every now and then to take breaks as he gets concerned for your well-being. And just when you thought you were done with one exam or assignment, you look back on your planner only to find out that there’s more to complete. It’s like your pile just doesn’t seem to lessen with each passing day, your mentality on the brink of collapse.

Just where is the end to all of this?

You are currently perched over your desk, packets of case studies splayed out on top of your corrections textbook. Your laptop screen shines bright at the corner, documents filled with infinitesimal texts and numbers. To your right lies your essential oil diffuser, planted right on your nightstand with fumes of aroma wafting through the air. You took your best friend’s suggestion in purchasing an aromatherapy diffuser to help relieve some stress you’ve accumulated from your studies. Lavender should help out, she said. But to your dismay, you don’t feel a single ounce of it lifting from your shoulders. Forcing your brain to believe its effective properties only puts your head more into a strain.

That’s when you felt a sharp pain rip through your skull. ‘Great,’ you groaned to yourself, ‘another fucking headache.’ You dropped your pen on your notebook and rubbed your fatigued eyes, the pressure from your fingertips massaging away. “God, I can’t wait for this semester to be over with already.”

Crossing your arms, you found your phone lying in the middle of your bed. You forgot that you left it on ‘do not disturb’, finally realizing why you didn’t hear your phone ring in the past few hours. You grabbed your phone off your bed. 2:58 am, it reads. Unlocking your phone, you skimmed through your notifications, your fingers swiftly responding to certain messages cluttered up in your phone until you reached to this one particular conversation:

hey babe (sent by doie <3, 11:01pm)

hope you’re eating your meals and drinking water (sent by doie <3, 11:01pm)

just want to let you know that i’m proud of you (sent by doie <3, 11:02pm)

always am and always will (sent by doie <3, 11:02pm)

love you (sent by doie <3, 11:02pm)

You could feel a smile blooming on your lips. It has been a while since you’ve seen Doyoung, let alone hear his voice. Is it too late to call him? ‘He might be sleeping,’ you thought to yourself. ‘Should I?’ Biting your lip, you mustered up the courage and decided to call him. Placing your phone against your ear, you awaited his call. The sound reverberates through your eardrums, the anticipation of having your call picked up diminishing with each passing ring. And just when you were about to give up, the tune stops short on its last ring.

“Hello?” a deep voice croaks.

You softly smile at the sound of his voice. “Hey,” you whispered. “Did I… wake you up?”

“No, no.” You hear him shuffling on his end, to what you could assume to be from his movements in his bed sheets. “Not at all, baby.” You couldn’t help but let out a giggle, touched over the fact he’s easing your guilt of awakening him from his much-needed slumber. “What’s wrong? You need something?”

You shrugged your shoulders, a habit you’ve developed when talking on the phone with someone. “No, not really.” You run your fingers through your hair before rubbing the nape of your neck. “I just missed you, that’s all.”

He lets out a tired chuckle. “I missed you, too.”

You hum a little, “How are your finals?”

He scoffs. “Shit.”

“Not surprised,” you giggled. “You only have one more left, right?”

“Yeah. Chem 4. After that, I’m ready to sleep for a whole week straight.”

“Can I join you in your sleeping session?”

“You most certainly can.”

You both shared a laugh, your mind finally distracted from the strenuous documents that resided on top of your desk. “I call dibs on being the small spoon.”

He chortles. “You’re funny.”

“Hey! It’s only fair.”

“That’s what you said when you ate my share of fries the other week.”

His voice was much livelier than before, fully awakened from his rest now. You missed the jolly feeling you’d get when you talked to him. All those days and nights spent by his side where nothing else mattered in the world except for your boyfriend, whispering loving affirmations to you just like always. You really did miss him, and you can’t wait for this semester to be over to spend quality time with him again.

“Hey, y/n?” he called out.

“Hm?”

“You know that all I ever ask of you is to be honest with me?”

Your smile drops. You know where this is going, and frankly, you��re not sure if you’re ready to have this conversation again. Time after time, he would start a conversation with that question followed by his ongoing concerns wrapped in his mind. Sometimes he would ask for your second opinion, but most of the time they were diverted to you, his forever lover. And you knew this time, this is going to be about you.

Your free hand fiddled with the ends of your finger as you chew on your lip again, your eyes peering down to your lap.

“... yes,” you murmured.

You could hear your heart beating through your ears, the silence deafening the space that encompassed you around. Neither one of you uttered a sound to the other, too afraid to whisper through the thick tension planted in the air. Outside your dorm, there are muffled footsteps fading in and out by your door, most likely from your dorm neighbors coming back from another one of their library sessions. He lets out a soft sigh on his end, not one filled with annoyance, but filled with worry, his attention all focused onto you.

“... are you okay?”

And just like that, you felt the dam inside you crumble to ashes. The mask that you’ve held from the past few weeks is finally dissolving, the facade released from its shackles. Weeks of putting up a front, telling yourself that everything is okay, is now coming to end. ‘I’m fine,’ you would say to yourself. ‘This is nothing, I can handle this myself.’

Oh but darling, there’s only so much you could take in. Not everyone is perfect, and not everyone is indestructible. May we all be human, for we laugh, cry, smile, frown, scream, shout, cheer.

Tears burned through your eyelids, blurring your line of vision as you tried to hold yourself together. You shakily let out a sigh. “.... no,” your voice cracks. Another deep sigh, and you felt a tear drip down your cheek. “I’m… I’m tired, Doyoung.” More tears cascade down your cheeks, bringing your sleeves up to wipe them away with each drop. “I’m exhausted, Doyoung. I’m tired.. of all of this. I’m—”

With the phone still pressed against your ear, you sobbed into the night, finally pouring all your boxed-in emotions out to your lover. You cried out your frustrations, your anger, your desolace. Long have your soul been used to routine that you forgot what warmth felt like. To be cared for, watched for, and loved for.

Your sleeves soaked up all your tears, your eyelids certainly swollen from the sudden rush. You take even breaths, calming yourself down from your breakdown. Throughout your cries, never once did Doyoung strayed away from you, ears firmly pressed against his ear. He took in all, every last drop to mitigate the cold shell you’ve developed over time. He said nothing, only offering his presence as a sort of comfort to you for the time being. Once silence took over, all your tears spent, that’s when he spoke up.

“You did well, y/n.”

You breathing hitches for a moment, heart skipping a beat from his words.

“I’m so, so proud of you, y/n. You made it this far into the semester and for that, I’m proud of you.”

And alas, your smile returns. Minuscule it may be, but it’s more than what you could ask for. The feeling of having your shoulders lifted from your burdens made you feel like you could fly again, soar up in the clouds. Your best friend certainly knows how to cheer you up the most.

“Sorry about all of that,” you chuckled.

“Don’t be sorry.”

You shook your head. “No, I am. You literally just heard me have a breakdown and cry with snots all over the place—”

“I don’t give a damn about all of that, y/n.” There’s a slight shuffle on his end. “I love you for you, and that’s never going to change. I will love you at your lowest, and I will love you at your highest. Even when you feel like there’s no hope left in this world, I will bring you back to earth and hold you and remind you that you are hope.”

Just when you thought you had no more tears left in your system, you could feel the waterworks starting again. You bite down on your lower lip, desperately holding it in as love overcomes you.

“You did well, y/n. Only two more finals to go and you’re finally free.”

You wipe away the stray tear that befallen on your cheek. “Thank you, Doyoung. Really.”

“Now go out there and kick some ass for me, alright? Show those professors who’s the boss around here.”

You giggled. With your two fingers on your temple, you did an informal salute. “Yes, sir.”

“That’s my girl.”

Let this be a reminder to you, to all, that there will always be one person that will love you at your lowest, and will always be there to help pick you back up.

i’m afraid that bandaids are no good for heartache not okay, so tell me when your world is falling down

[25th]

tutorial: animating eyes in after effects

requested by anon, based on this graphic

under the cut because it’s quite long :’)

open a new composition on after effects. you can set the dimensions to anything, but i’m using 540 x 300px for this tutorial. the duration i set to 5 seconds, but we’ll probably have to cut it down after we finish animating it.

1. select the pen tool (G) and draw the basic eye shape. this is going to be the whites of the eye, so set the fill to white. 

you can set the stroke to any color if you want a border around your eye, too.

to help with drawing the eye shape, i recommend turning on the proportion grid.

to draw the eye, i 

(1) start with the left corner and set an anchor point (click), (2) go to the top-middle, click and hold shift while dragging the handle to the right to fill 2 boxes, (3) go to the right corner and click, (4) go to the bottom-middle and hold shift while dragging the handle to the left to fill 2 boxes. 

hopefully that wasn’t too confusing??

this is the basic shape, so you can adjust it however you want depending on what you think looks best! i’ll be keeping it this way here.

2. draw the pupil of the eye, all you need is the ellipse tool. at the toolbar on the top, you can either click and hold the rectangle tool to get to the ellipse, or you can press Q three times. 

be sure to press shift while you draw the shape so that it’s a perfect circle!

you can set the fill to anything, i’m making it black in this tutorial.

center the the pupil to the white of the eye by selecting both of them, going to the align panel to the right, and selecting these two buttons:

i turned off the proportional grid here, too, bc you don’t really need it anymore.

3. animating: moving the pupil

here, you can make the eye do whatever you want but i’ll just be going over the basic animation!

- select the pupil layer and press P to bring up position.

- click on the stopwatch to bring up a keyframe.

this is the starting position of your pupil. you can place the pupil anywhere, but i’m placing it at the center.

- move a couple of frames forward (here i moved 5 frames forward) with the current time indicator and copy and paste the first key frame. this is so that the eye will stay at the center for a few before moving on.

- move a couple of frames forward and move the pupil anywhere. i’m making it go to the right.

i want the eye movement to be a bit jerky, so i’ll be copy and pasting this keyframe a couple of frames forward before moving the pupil to another place (here, i’m going to the left).

- repeat the last 2 steps until you’re satisfied. i’m only moving the eye three times here (center --> right --> left).

i also cut the composition time here to 1 second long. move the time indicator to 1 second and hit N to cut your work area down.

so far, your animation might look a bit like this:

which is honestly a bit boring.

so, i changed the path of the pupil a bit. right now, the path is all straight lines. instead, i’m going to be curving the paths.

- select the anchor point to get to the handles and drag the handles to create curves. play around with them until you’re satisfied!

now, your animation might look like this:

getting better! last thing i did was add easy ease to the keyframes. it just makes it flow a bit better.

select all your keyframes and either hit F9, or right click > keyframe assistant > easy ease. it’ll turn your keyframes from diamonds to hourglass shapes.

now it looks like this:

and that’s the basic animation!

one more thing: it’s not noticeable on the gif above bc the bg is the same color as the pupil, but the pupil is actually spilling over the eye right now. (i actually made this mistake on my gfx, too, haha!)

changing the bg color to gray so that you can see:

all you have to do is set a track matte.

- duplicate the white and move it on top of the pupil. (cmd/ctrl + D)

- set the track matte of the pupil to alpha matte. you might have to toggle switches/mode at the bottom.

and it should be fixed now!

4. animating: opening/closing the eye

- select all of your layers and pre compose them. (right click > pre compose). your eye should be all in one layer now.

closing the eye:

- select the pen tool and your precomposed layer. draw a rough eye shape around the eye. no need to be exact.

- move to just a few frames before the end of the composition. press alt/option + M to create a keyframe for mask path. move to the end of your comp and drag the first top point of your mask downwards to close the eye.

(i changed the bg color back to black so you can see better :’))

i also added easy ease to the keyframes afterwards. 

opening the eye:

- just copy and paste the last two keyframes and put them in the beginning, but be sure to reverse the order. that’s it!

if you’ve been following this tutorial pretty closely, there’ll be timing issues in your animation. here’s how it looks for me right now:

imo, it’s too fast right now.

5. fixing the timing

- first, i extended the time for the work area to 1 second and 15 frames instead of just 1 second.

- double click the precomp layer to bring up all the separate layers from step 1-3. 

- because the eye opens after 5 frames, i’m shifting all of the pupil keyframes to the 5th frame of the comp.

- go back to the main composition where the only layer is your precomp. i’m going to be bringing the last two keyframes (the ones where the eye is closing) a bit before the end. (here i chose 5 frames before the end)

- i still felt like the eye opens and closes too fast, so i extended the work area time to 1 second and 25 seconds.

and finished!! here’s the final product:

if u have any clarifying questions, pls feel free to shoot me an ask! i’ll be happy to help :-)

[peaceoutofthepieces]

Tracing Time

is this considered sexual content? the mild kind maybe? this is the content warning just in case haha

Tuesday, 21:21

Song: Christian French - head first

Sander follows Robbe into the hallway without a thought, heart thumping as Robbe smiles secretly over his shoulder. He’d tugged Sander away in a quiet, sneaky manner, and neither of them talk now as they creep along. Robbe stops at a door, however, and turns around to face Sander first, drawing him down into a hard kiss. Sander hums in pleasure, opening up to the younger boy and letting his hands find their spot on his hips. He steps closer, backing Robbe up against the door. It makes Robbe laugh, and then he fumbles blindly until he finds the door handle, letting it swing open behind him.

He pulls Sander in after him, their lips never once detaching. Then Robbe’s closing the door and backing Sander up and their previous position is suddenly reversed. Sander shivers as his back hits the wood and Robbe boxes him in, laying an arm by Sander’s head and keeping the other hand on the back of his neck, slipping a leg between Sander’s.

Sander’s hum comes out as more of a moan, this time, but it would be more embarrassing if Robbe didn’t simply respond in kind, licking his way past Sander’s lips. Sander lets his hands slip down, just a little to start with, pinkies brushing over the top of Robbe’s back pockets. Robbe nips at his lip in retaliation, but he’s grinning as he steps back and pulls Sander with him once more.

The shock of the sudden distance surprises Sander into looking around and finally recognising their surroundings. His eyes go wide, but by then Robbe’s already pushing him onto the bed and following him down.

“Wait,” he protests, even though that’s the last thing he wants to do with Robbe now straddling him. But he recognises the glasses on the nightstand and the skateboard in the corner and alarms are blasting in his brain. Robbe stops instantly, stilling his hands and his weight as he stares down at Sander. “Jens‘s room? Are you kidding?”

Robbe raises his brows, tilting his head in a manner that is much too adorably innocent for the current situation. “Do you want to go back out? Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume…”

Sander stares at him incredulously for a moment, then squishes his cheeks. “Dummy,” he murmurs, then tries again. “Jens’s room. His bed. Where he...does things.”

Robbe widens his eyes exaggeratedly. “You mean sleep?” he whispers, mock aghast.

Sander shoves him.

“No, wait,” Robbe protests, laughing and clinging to Sander’s shoulders to stop himself from toppling. “Relax. You’re not gonna catch any Jens germs.”

“How do you know?” Sander demands. Then he narrows his eyes. “Or maybe that’s what you want.”

Robbe’s nose wrinkles, and he lets out a tiny incredulous laugh. “What?”

“Ah, ah, come on, don’t tell me Jens’s bed hasn’t come up in your fantasies before.”

“Oh, gross, Sander, it’s been years,” he whines. “Are you never gonna let that go?” When Sander merely stares up at him, maybe a little petulantly, Robbe pokes his cheek and lowers his voice as he kisses Sander’s nose. “I’m in here with you,” he points out. “That’s the only constant in my fantasies. Honestly, I feel like the surroundings are even more reason for you to feel smug about it.”

Well.

He’s not wrong.

Sander still narrows his eyes a little more. “Okay, fine, that’s not even the point. What about our germs?”

That startles a laugh out of Robbe, even as a flush creeps up his neck and he pinches Sander’s shoulder. “Sexy,” he teases. Then he takes a moment to actually consider before leaning down close to Sander, letting their lips ghost together teasingly in a very familiar move. “Guess we’ll just make sure we don’t leave any.”

His voice is still low, but his eyes are light as he raises a coy brow, and Sander can’t protest any more. He tugs Robbe down and instantly goes about getting a groan out of him. It doesn’t take long, and then Robbe is giving him a heated look and taking over. His lips move across Sander’s jaw and throat, his angel necklace falling against Sander’s chest as his hands slip under Sander’s shirt, and then everything’s a flurry of clothes and kisses.

Sander has managed to divulge Robbe of his shirt, as well, by the time Robbe’s hand finds its way into his hair and tugs. It’s punctuated with a sharp suck over his pulse, and he bites down hard on his lip to muffle the sound that’s punched out of him. His hair has grown out enough by now for Robbe to easily thread his fingers in, to clench them around a fistful at any given moment—usually when Sander is least prepared for it.

It’s clear, by now, that Robbe knows exactly what he’s doing.

But despite Robbe’s ability to take him apart with everything the boy knows he likes and well-practiced skill, Sander can’t help releasing a breathless laugh as Robbe settles eagerly at his nipples. The sound also falls apart quickly when Robbe actually sets his mouth to work, however, going so far as to look smugly up at Sander through his lashes.

“Tease,” he mutters. Robbe’s hum reverberates through his whole chest as his hands now tangle themselves in Robbe’s curls. He can’t help letting one curl around Robbe’s ear, brushing his thumb over the lobe before gently tugging Robbe’s earring. Robbe’s startled breath morphs into a sigh that gusts over Sander’s skin, and Sander squirms in his impatience. It isn’t, however, in any way unpleasant, and he’s the farthest thing from annoyed. It’s so enjoyably infuriating that he does feel like crying in relief when Robbe finally tugs his jeans down around his thighs, though.

Sander sinks back into the pillow with a sigh, thighs clenching on either side of Robbe as the boy’s fingertips graze his hip bones to curl around the waistband of his underwear. He breathes slowly, one hand grasping at the sheets now with the other still lightly cupping Robbe’s head. He lowers it to mouth at Sander, and Sander makes a noise that is definitely not needy or anything like a whimper.

Then sound floods into the room and shatters the atmosphere like a broken glass, with a wide-eyed, swearing Jens as the culprit.

Robbe squeaks and attempts to cover Sander with his own body. “Jens,” he yelps. “Get out!”

But Jens is already backing away with his hand over his eyes, curses growing more colourful as he slams the door and calls, “Sorry,” in the same hopelessly embarrassed tone. “No, wait, Robbe, what the fuck?”

Robbe groans where his face is now buried in Sander’s thigh, and Sander squirms at the unrelenting sensations. He doesn’t embarrass easily, but, well.

This is really quite a lot.

“Jens, fuck off!” he shouts.

“No, you assholes, that is my room. You’re not having fucking sex on my bed. You’re not fucking on my bed! Get out, seriously, Robbe…”

Sander is going to kill him. It doesn’t matter if they bonded, or if Robbe would be upset, or whatever. He is a fucking disaster and he is going to die, at Sander’s hands. “It’s my birthday,” he calls back, which should really be an unnecessary reminder, but hopefully work to guilt Jens in his favour.

It does not work. “It’s my fucking bed! I have to sleep there later!”

“Well,” Robbe pipes up, surprising them both enough that neither snaps back. He’s looking up at Sander with a hint of his cheeky grin, even though he’s flushed right down to his collarbones. “Feel free to come in here and put a stop to it.”

Sander’s eyes widen, and then he beams and tugs Robbe up to him so he can kiss his cheek, and they wait.

“You can’t be serious,” Jens says finally.

“Try me,” Robbe sings back.

Jens even throws in some French swears, this time. Sander barely notices, because Robbe has gone back to kissing him and the slick slide of their lips is the only sound filling his ears. He sighs as Robbe strokes over his cheek and deepens the kiss, the cool metal of his pendant settling at the base of Sander’s throat. He can’t help but grin when he realises the silence is only making Jens more antsy, voice nervous as he bangs on the door.

“If you want this as your birthday gift, fine then, asshole, but I’m taking mine and Lucas’s back.”

“Cool,” Sander agrees, purposefully adding a tight, throaty tone to his voice that has Robbe smacking his shoulder and Jens smacking the door. “Bye now.”

“Clean up your own damn mess or I swear,” Jens warns, with another smack to the door. “I hate both of you, oh my god.”

This time they stay still and silent for a moment, and when they finally hear Jens’s grumbling retreat, Robbe rushes over to lock the door. He looks simultaneously terribly embarrassed and shamelessly debauched, cheeks red and hair a mess, chest bare and jeans tight. It’s a sight to behold.

Sander doesn’t want to know what he looks like, spread out on the bed with only his damn jeans up to his knees.

Robbe licks his lips while looking at him, though, even as he slowly pads his way back over and tilts his head. “How much did that ruin the mood?”

Sander raises a brow. Robbe already has enough visual evidence of the truth, which is somehow ‘not at all’. Robbe flushes further in understanding, clearing his throat as he kneels on the edge of the mattress. “You?” Sander asks him.

Robbe kisses him again in response, deep and dirty, and Sander’s pulse kicks back into hyperspeed.

For about ten seconds, after which Robbe is pulling away once more and saying, “Wait.”

Sander groans, but tears his hands away from his boyfriend obediently. His voice comes out sounding a little impatient, though. “What?”

“I want to give you your present.”

“Right now?” Sander demands, blinking. “Isn’t that what’s already happening?”

Robbe has the audacity to laugh at him, though it is more of a shy giggle. “No, just…” he trails off, blushing again as he sits away from Sander. “Do you wanna…?” He gestures at Sander’s waist, and Sander buries his face in his hands.

“You’re killing me, Robbe,” he mumbles through his fingers, before obediently pulling up his pants with a quiet huff.

“Okay, okay,” Robbe laughs. “Just, here.”

He holds something out above Sander’s face, and Sander lets his hands drop. He finds himself looking at a key.

Robbe’s key.

To his house.

“What?” Sander says, lost.

Robbe looks nervous. It’s incredibly endearing, how he tilts his head and bites his lip but makes himself hold Sander’s gaze. “I obviously got you stuff too, but, that’s at home. So. I’ve just been meaning to give you this, as well, and now seemed like a good time?” He pauses. “Well, maybe not right now. Sorry.”

“Robbe. What?”

“So you can come and go whenever you need to,” Robbe says, quiet and hesitant. “If I’m not there and you want to wait for me, or if you ever need me during the night, I figured this is better than waiting for me to come let you in, just in case it’s…raining, or something.”

Sander stares at him.

Robbe’s expression drops slightly and he bites his lip. “It doesn’t mean you have to use it, obviously, just that...you can. If you want to. Mama is completely fine with it, too.”

Sander is speechless. He doesn’t think words actually exist to describe it. The...the amount of trust Robbe puts in him through this small item is ridiculous. How he had described the offer is completely insane. He’s happy to let Sander allow himself into his house in the middle of the night, simply if the desire takes him. He’s happy to give Sander, who has been labeled everything from annoying to downright crazy, the freedom of his home. His own sanctuary. He’s opening all of it to Sander with the only doubt being that Sander wouldn’t want it.

As if it isn’t the best thing anyone has ever given him.

He can’t speak, so he reaches, pulling Robbe in to offer his gratitude and reassurance and disbelief in a kiss. It’s still a hard press of lips, still hungry, but it’s slower and softer than any of the others they’ve shared tonight. It means something else, something beyond the basic desires they’d been indulging in minutes ago. It means something more.

“Robbe,” he breathes, heart fluttering at his boyfriend’s responding happy hum. “Thank you.”

Robbe strokes his cheeks so softly, and smiles so lovingly down at him, and Sander feels cracked open and laid bare beyond his near nudity. “I may have an ulterior motive,” Robbe admits. “I didn’t bring another key, so if this is to be yours, I guess I can’t get home without you.”

Sander huffs a laugh, lips spreading in a too-wide smile as he stretches up to kiss Robbe again. “Clever,” he praises.

Robbe hums again, equally pleased, and holds the key out to Sander. Sander takes it, closing his fingers around it carefully, watching the light flicker over and dip into the ridges as they press into his skin and imprint on him. He rubs his thumb over the rough metal, just admiring it for a moment, before looking at Robbe again.

He is the easiest thing to admire. He’s still flushed all down his neck, though it’s happy nerves more than embarrassment now. It’s enticing enough that Sander has to lean in and kiss the bare skin, has to feel Robbe’s heartbeat reverberating through him. He draws Robbe closer, back into his lap, into the circle of his arms, and pulls him close enough that they are entirely pressed together, chest to chest with heads tucked over each other’s shoulders. Robbe’s angel pendant presses into the skin near Sander’s own heart, which feels incredibly fitting.

“I love you,” Sander murmurs, because it’s the only thing he feels in this minute—the only thing he feels every minute, regardless of everything else.

Robbe presses a sweet kiss to his cheek. “I love you too. Happy birthday, Sander.” He allows Sander to hug him tighter for a moment before adding, “You should be able to find one of your other gifts now, too.”

“Find?” Sander pulls back just enough to look at Robbe quizzically. His eyes widen a fraction and he pats the pockets of Robbe’s jeans, feeling a smirk play at his lips. “Did you come prepared?”

“No,” Robbe yelps, batting him away. “You’ll have to search for it online.”

“What? What do you mean online? Do you know how vast ‘online’ is, Robbe?”

Robbe rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “YouTube, then. You have to look on YouTube.”

Sander tilts his head, baffled. “Did you rejoin a Broerrrs video?”

Robbe shrugs, all wide-eyed innocence, as if he’s not the one who put it wherever it is.

“Okay,” Sander announces. “We’re not doing anything here.”

He admits to feeling a little smug when Robbe’s face falls. “I thought you wanted to?”

“Oh, trust me,” Sander reassures, “I definitely do. But neither of us actually came prepared, and I’m realising this isn’t all I want to do to you tonight. No, we’re going to go back to yours and I’m going to find this mysterious online gift and then, then this will be made worth it.”

Now Robbe’s wide-eyed gaze holds a very different vibe, and his flush has darkened alongside his eyes, and he nods just a little too quickly. “Okay,” he agrees.

Sander grins, and does, however, spend a little more time kissing him, still clutching the key in an incredulous grip.

And, well, the thought of making out on the bed of Robbe’s old crush with Robbe is oddly satisfying. He might feel a little smug. And if it makes said crush squirm a little because he thinks they carried through on their threat with a little more commitment, well, that’s even better.

~^~

previous/next

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Home Sweet Home: Moving Day

Summary- 3.1k Andy Barber x You. You and Andy almost have it all, married and with a jointed family consisting of Andy’s teenage son Jacob, as well as your two younger children John and Cassidy. Looking to add another member, your family is in need of a bigger house, a forever home. You find just the place, 112 Ocean Avenue in Amityville Long Island.   Home Sweet Home

Written for @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho​ Spooky Scary Stories challenge. Divider by @firefly-graphics​

Warnings- Not many that I can see. Mentions of murder and spooks. 

A/N- I chose Amityville Horror for the challenge because its one of my favorite Spook Stories growing up. When reading you will find a lot of similarities to the 2005 Movie, some of the scenarios and dialogue are specifically from that film. Other parts of it are from the book itself. The family name was changed for my own personal reasons. Happy Haunting!  🎃

Chapter 1 / Masterlist 

The day the family moves in, you couldn't have been more excited to be moving into your dream home. The home you and Andy would be raising the family in. The movers were quick under your and Andy’s directions of where to put boxes and furniture. Jacob managed to keep Cassidy and John occupied by exploring the yard and along the lakes edge until most of the chaos ended. 

Andy and you called them in once the movers left. When all three came back in, you took them on a tour of the house, going through the downstairs and then going on upstairs to show each one the bedrooms you and Andy had chosen. Andy took the boys to their rooms, dropping John off in his to check out, and then Andy opened a nearby door to Jacob's room. Jacob walked in, looking around. “Yup, looks like a bedroom.” he commented, sounding just like Andy in that moment. Andy stepped in, remarking at him. 

“Smartass... do you like it? Y/N thought this one would be better for you. It's a bit away from the kids, give you a bit more privacy you didn't have at the other house.” 

Jacob gave a smile to his father while nodding. “It's great dad, seriously.” he assured him, and Andy nodded. 

“Well I will leave you to unpack then.” 

In Cassidy’s room, she was excited over the unique windows facing the front, and she ran to the first one looking out over the driveway and the rest of the neighborhood. “Wow, I can see everything.” She started waving at people passing by on the street. 

“You really like it Sweetheart?” You asked, having picked this room just for her cause of the pink flowered wallpaper, and there was a small vanity already built into the wall. She nodded and giggled at the window. 

“Yes mommy, I do.” She went back to looking at the window, and you pulled open a box to start taking care of clothes when she started speaking again. “Hi, hello… what's your name?” She tilted her head with a nod and another giggle. “I’m Cassidy, see you later!” You had been working on putting clothes in the dresser from boxers when you heard her odd words. 

“Who are you talking to Baby?” You go over behind her and she looks up at you. 

“They said a friend, but they had to go.” She shrugged like it was no big deal and went to go open more boxes to help you unpack. You peek outside curiously, but saw nothing out of the ordinary when Andy saying your name turned you around. 

“Hmm, what?” 

“I said the boys both approve of the rooms you chose for them, and are currently putting their rooms together. I'm gonna go build our bed and then come take care of Cassidy’s.” 

Agreeing that was a good idea, the rest of the day was getting the basics together. By the time dinner rolled around, Andy had insisted on ordering a few pizzas and you agreed tiredly. Andy eased a hand over your shoulder and to the back of your neck, massaging gently while you let your head fall forward, breathing in deeply. “How about you take a shower? I will get dinner handled. By the time you come back down, it should be already.” 

“You really don't mind Andy?” You ask, and he gives a shake of the head, kissing your forehead he eased you towards the stairs. 

“Baby, I insist.” He winked at you, and you gave a nod while heading up the stairs. The allure of a hot shower and getting into your ultimate comfort clothes you already pulled out and were on the bed just sounded like the best thing you've ever heard. 

Grabbing your towels and a washcloth from a box, you wandered into the master bathroom. This was the first time you’ve had a bathroom all for just the two of you, and you couldn't help but feel like this was truly living. Soon the hot water was going, and you were stepping into the shower, humming happily to yourself. 

Downstairs Andy had made the call for a few pizzas after googling for a local restaurant. He went to check on John and Cassidy to find that they had found a board game and were making up their own version. Jacob, he could hear music playing up in his room. You were in the shower and he would be taking one soon as everyone was fed and the little ones put in bed. All in all a good day he thought. Going back to the kitchen, he searched out for plates, and took care of a few more dishes. It wasn't long till the doorbell rang. “Coming.” Andy called out while checking to be sure he had his wallet on him for a tip to whomever was delivering that night. 

He opened the door to find a teenager warily standing on the bottom step, looking up at the house. Jumping a bit when he heard Andy open the door, he went up the stairs and held the boxes out. “Been a while since anyone has came out here.” 

Andy took the pizzas and set them just inside the door on a small table and then dug out his wallet to pull out a tip. “Oh yea, is that so?” Not really giving the kid’s words much thought, but he ended up continuing regardless of Andy’s uninterested tone. 

“Yea, last time anyone came out was before that night.” He took the tip, and pocketed it. “You know about the night, right?” 

Andy shuffled a bit, wanting to close the door. “Yes, we were made aware before we moved in.” 

The teenager just continued. “Yup, all five of them were in their beds. I knew Ronnie, he was a lot older than me, but he was cool. Can't believe he took a rifle and just shot them all. Guess you just never know what people are capable of.” 

Now Andy was done, and snapped out. “No I guess not. Bye.” Stepping back, he let the door shut firmly and flipped the lock, gathering the pizzas to take to the kitchen. What the kid said unsettled him. But he shook it off before addressing John and Cassidy. “Are you hungry, Kids?” 

A thud of feet sent Cassidy and John racing into the kitchen, and Andy simply sent a message from his phone to Jacob upstairs, knowing it would be faster than going up to knock on his door. Grabbing plates, Andy looked at the two littlest ones. 

“Okay kids, I got… anchovy and extra anchovy. What do you want.” He grinned innocently at them, and they both made funny faces at him in disgust. 

“Cheese?” John asked hopefully. Andy popped open the top, and showed off a cheese pizza. Peeling off a slice and plating it, Cassidy reached for the plate. 

“Andy, can you add an extra slice for Jody? They say they want a piece.” Cassidy hummed and Andy indulged her, putting on a second slice. 

“Who’s Jody Kiddo?” Andy questioned as he also handed over paper towels for napkins. 

“My friend. But you can't see them. They don’t like grownups although I told them you were nice.” She said as if it was everyday and John rolled his eyes at her 

“You're so weird Cass, Jody isn't real.”  John snickered as he reached for a piece and bit off the end while Andy handed a plate over to him to use.

“Is to! Jody says boys like you are mean.” Cassidy cried out and then the siblings stuck their tongues out at each other and Andy was quick to jump in. 

 “Hey hey hey, John don't pick on your sister. Cass, Please just tell Jody not to make a mess.”

Jacob came in the room, following his nose to the scent of pizza. “Who’s Jody?” 

Andy moved aside the cheese to the pizza with toppings underneath he knew Jacob would prefer. “Jody is Cass’s friend.” Cassidy took a bite of her pizza and gave Jacob a nod, and the teenager nodded in understanding. Picking out a slice of pepperoni. “Ya know, I had a friend like that.” 

“You did?” John asked, suddenly on board with the imaginary friends cause Jacob seemed okay with it. Andy went to find a couple wine glasses while listening to Jacob recall the story of his imaginary friend Stan the Man. Andy had to smile at the memory of Jacob and Stan the Man, his son had insisted he was taller then the house but could shrink down to his size in order to play. Laurie had been a bit concerned about how often Jacob had talked about him, but Andy wasn’t. Pulling out a bottle of wine, he opened it up and checked the time, figuring you would be down pretty soon.

Upstairs you were finishing your shower, your head tilted back into the spray and fingers scrubbing out your conditioner when you happened to look towards the showers curtain and saw what looked like Andy standing there. “Andy? You trying to sneak in with me for a few minutes?” You rubbed the water from your face, expecting to hear an answer. 

“Andy?” You looked again and the shape moved like they were about to get in, but there still isn't an answer. 

“Are the kids okay? Andy?” you frowned and went to move the curtain, to open it and when you looked around it, there was nothing. No one was standing there, the door was still shut, and you could feel your heart race a bit. You suddenly didn't want to be there anymore when your chest tightened in discomfort, you knew you saw someone on the other side of the curtain, and was sure of it. A chill ran up your spine and you hurriedly rushed to turn the water off and get out. Drying off, you hurried off into the bedroom, completely missing the whisper of your name as well as a figure moving out of the fogged up mirror, leaving behind the word ‘Catch ‘em, Kill ‘em’ streaked through the condensation. 

Dressing, you made your way downstairs to see everyone Andy and Jacob laughing about something while picking at toppings of their pizza slices to pop in their mouth,  the kids sitting at the table, legs swinging as they peeled off bits of cheese. You approached to peek in the box, grabbing a piece of pepperoni, and Andy hugged you from behind, his beard tickling your neck as he hummed against your ear. 

“Feel better Mrs.Barber?” 

“I will feel better if there is a glass of wine with my name on it.” You chuckled and he was quick to hand you one. Sipping from it, you set it aside and turned in his arms, cupping his face in your hands. “Now I’m much better, thank you.” Tilting up you gave him an affectionate kiss, John and Cassidy making eww noises and Andy chuckled against your lips at them. 

“Man, we're trying to eat. Take it to your room.” Jacob joked from the other side of the counter, and Andy gave a smug look at his son. “We probably will later.” Jacobs scowl had you covering your mouth in a laugh and you finally reached for a slice of pizza, nipping at the tip.  

Dinner was eaten, and after Jacob goes to his room, and the kids are in bed all tucked in, you go to the bedroom with wine glass in hand, Andy is stretched out on the bed to relax for the first time that day. You set your wine glass aside on the dresser, and go to work on hanging Andy’s suits in the closet before going to lay down, unsettled a bit as you look towards the bathroom. 

“Andy, you didn’t happen to come into the bathroom when I was in there, did you?” 

He looked up from his phone with a curious furrow to his brow. “No, I was downstairs with the kids the whole time. Why?” 

You shrug as you hang another suit up, coming out of the closet and picking up another. “I just thought I saw someone in the bathroom, and when I opened the curtain, nothing. I think I'm just over tired.” you admitted, and he opens his mouth to say something when your phone rings. You turn away to go back in the closet, and Andy stretches out to grab it off your side of the night stand. He doesn't bother to see who it is, but swipes his thumb across the answer button while keeping an eye on you. 

“Barber residence?” 

You are humming while fixing the suits so they don't wrinkle. 

“Of course, here she is.” He lowered the phone and “Y/N, it's your mom.” 

You brighten when you hear who it is, and flick off the light to the closet. You swear you hear a muffled growl behind you, and turn towards the sound with a frown when Andy gets your attention once more. “You have to tell her to stop gushing over me baby.” He winks teasing as he rolls up off the bed, and you scoff at him with a smack to his chest while taking the phone. Tumbling on the bed and getting comfy, you raise the phone to your ear. “Hey mom! Yes, we're all settled, kids are in bed, but you call tomorrow, you can skype with them. They would love to see you.” 

Andy feels a chill up his neck and he rubs at his arms, lowering to settle his hand over the heating grate. It feels like a heavy draft coming through and he glances up at you, mouthing. “You feel chilly babe?” 

You shake your head in a no while still listening to your mother. “Oh mom, you will love it. Plenty of room for you to come stay as well. Maybe at Christmas time? We have the most perfect family room for a good big family Christmas.” 

Andy heads out of the room while you're on the phone, sure the heater in the basement isn't turned on even though he knew that he had someone come in before to turn all of it on to get ready for them. Quick to go down to the first floor, he went into the kitchen and flicked on the basement light. 

The lights flickered several times like they were about to go out. Once it became steady, he went down the creaking stairs and rubbed his hand against his arms looking around the dimly lit basement. Basements always felt awkward. He knew there wouldn't be anything to be necessarily scared of, but they always seemed hidden away from sight, where secrets of the house might be kept. Even now when peering into the dark corners of the interior, he shivered in distrust of the shadows. 

Andy it's just a basement. He would scold himself as he crossed the icy cement floor, and tried to ignore what he thought was his imagination. 

A shadow shifted, darker than the shadows of normal for an old house. It stalked along behind the man. Andy went over to the heating system, a state of the art boiler system that was almost brand new, having been installed when the previous owners updated the house. 

Now Andy wasn't any expert in heaters, so when he squatted down, he looked along the switches, that all appeared to be in the on position, which he flicked anyways. He also leaned down to see the pilot light was still on, which it flickered reassuringly when he peeked. 

He leaned back up with a frown, and while he was sitting there on the cold basement floor, a bone chilling coldness stabbed him in the back, paralyzing his spine, and the hair on Andy's body bristled as he heard something shuffle behind him. His chest ached in a panic that made breathing  almost impossible. A dread settled on him, sunk from his shoulders and down through his body. 

This must be what a condemned man must feel like. 

His eyes squeezed shut and he fought to turn around. He had to turn around, see what was coming for him. Andy felt it come closer, the air around him freezing cold that he felt it burn with each breath that he inhaled and released. Could feel something hover near the back of his neck, like it was just about to reach out and snatch his life. Rational thought had gone into hiding, now was just the sudden fear for his soul, and he whipped around suddenly when he broke from it to see nothing. 

Absolutely nothing was behind him. 

Cursing as he gasped in relief, the memory of impending death turning into fear and scolding himself for being afraid of nothing, he pulled himself up off the floor to a stand. Andy’s heart was still racing as if it was going to crash out of his chest cavity, but he ignored it while he slammed the panel shut, and looked to see one of the heating ducts. Pressing his hand against it, a sudden hum came and a rush of warm air breezed against his palm. 

“Fucking finally” He growled, and started to make his way back upstairs, what Andy missed was the hissing from the duct work, barely audible. “Catch ‘em, Kill ‘em.” As he started up the stairs, he shivered again and a racking cough exploded from his chest out of nowhere. 

The shadow seemed to crouch further in its hiding place with a flash of red orbs before swirling away into nothingness. 

He continued coughing as he went up the stairs, weariness coming over him. When he went into the bedroom, You sat up with a teasing look on his face. “Get that heater running Andy?” 

Settling on the end of the bed, he started to peel off his shirt, and you scooted over, rubbing at his back while kissing the back of his neck. “Mmhh, yes I did Y/N. Can we not tonight Love?” He looked over his shoulder and smiled weakly. “Not feeling my best tonight.” 

You pulled back with understanding, and ran your hand down his back and nodded. “Of course Baby, long day.” 

Andy eased back and opened his arms for you to settle in. Your head went on his shoulder, and soon he coughed hard, pulling away from you to lay on his side. Frowning in worry, you settle into your spot and fall asleep.

Once he fell asleep, Andy did nothing but dream awful dreams all night. Dreams filled with him staring at you at the end of a rifle, finger on the trigger to ease it back with a click. Images of Jacob, John and Cassidy running away from him to race into bedrooms and slam the door shut on him. Something cackling from the walls, constantly whispering “Catch ‘em, Kill ‘em” till Andy was trying to smother the sound under his palms. Waking with a jerk, he doubled over in the early morning light, coughing again and shivering in the cold.

[shiversdownyerspine]

9. Closer

Just gonna sliiiiide this over here.

You are finishing up the last of the scramble on your plate, fighting off the lingering fuzzy embrace of sleep with the help of your coffee. So the suspense wouldn't kill you, you had asked Axel if their coming questions had to do with your ability. After all, the three hadn't asked all that much about it.

Axel confirms, and you ruminate over the approaching task, how best to handle it...but are distracted when Oscar and Otto return.

The younger brothers look scratched up and dirtied, but overall in good condition. Although it was kind of difficult to tell who looked worse...maybe Otto. Poor man was still in his long johns. 

Grinning, you tease, "You two alright? Both of you look like you dove headfirst into the blackberry brambles."

Axel snorts. You're not far from the truth.

He subtly signals the two with a pointed dip of his head in warning; their feet are filthy and they are about to track a mess into your kitchen. Sheepish, the younger brothers share a look and head back outside, probably to make good use of your garden hose. 

Not wanting to put it off any longer, you ask for a change in scenery for this interrogation once you are dressed. In the garden, specifically. Axel regards you curiously, but agrees to your request.

You wander over to the sink to rinse your dishes when he taunts, "Thinking of running? We will catch you. No contest."

You blink, "No no, no running. I'm just...eager? To get started? Or maybe to get finished..."

Throwing a look over your shoulder, you return the taunt, "But if I did run, and I made it into the forest? I think I could surprise you."

Indeed, you are a good deal faster and more reactive while in your Phase. At least when you're prepared. It certainly helps having nearly all of your senses improved, but playing hide and seek with three trained assassins? It would be difficult to say the least...but in your forest and lake? Your second home? 

You would have an advantage, even being technically untrained. Perhaps you could give them a run for their money...at least for a little while longer than if you had tried in the tight spaces of your cottage.

Speculation and theorizing is cut short when the lone man in your kitchen says quite matter-of-factly, "Otto caught you."

Pride ruffled, you can't help but bristle, "Okay. That? Was a series of unfortunate events. And in my defense? I didn't have anything to run from, nothing was threatening me. It was just a spider bite."

The eldest doesn't reply, just quirks an amused eyebrow at the memory of you, perturbed and fluffed, wrapped up in his puzzled brother's arms. It was...an interesting day, no doubt.

You fiddle with your wet plate, frowning.

"I was distracted with my lack of gloves, that I had let something so simple slip my notice. Dug my own grave in a matter of seconds. Then I heard the door, and there was Otto and...I froze. He lunged and I couldn't move."

Axel contemplates for a moment, "You wanted to run. Not attack."

He says as a statement what should have been a question, never one to be all that subtle with his demands. You feel your stomach drop a little; given the pieces of your revealed history, maybe he was now beginning to reconsider the threat you could have posed to Otto. To all of them.

Acknowledging his concern was easy, but explaining yourself was going to be a bit complicated.  

"I..I think I have an answer for that? But it's something I'd like to address with all of you. I'm going to get dressed first, I've been in pajamas for far too long."

You know he could simply repeat what you said to his siblings, but it was the principle of the thing. That and you really wanted to take a quick moment to yourself before this all goes down. He doesn't stop you.

Toweling your hands dry, you head for the couch to gather up your sleeping kittens and make your way to your bedroom. Axel returns his attention to his brothers who were currently fussing over the hose; Oscar was currently trying to convince Otto to look inside and see what was blocking the water, all the while he held a section kinked in his hand, waiting for the right moment.

The eldest sibling shakes his head.

Butternut and Pumpkin are curled at opposite ends of your bed; one buried in the pillows at the headboard, the other stretched out dramatically at the end. Both chirp a greeting as you open your door and step inside.

Thing 1 and 2 in hand, you deposit the wiggly babies into their 'room'. The two look at you with what you can imagine is disapproval, breaking your heart as they toddle towards the bathroom door with noisy complaint.

"Don't worry, you'll be let out again soon."

Their litter box training had been going swimmingly. Maybe it was about time to expand their territory? You think it'd go rather well, you'd just have to keep an eye out. Make sure they don't try to leave any little surprises for you and develop a nasty habit from it.

You swear their incessant meowing is growing louder. You sigh, shaking your head.

"The book was spot on when it called this breed talkative."

Taking advantage of the lingering warmth of your sleep with Otto, you decide upon a floral tunic dress with leggings instead of your usual chunky sweater and jeans. It's rare that you can wear a lighter ensemble like this, you'll have to find some way to thank Otto.

He does seem to really enjoy your baking, so maybe something in that vein.

As you dress you find your thoughts sombering as the previous conversation slowly ties you into a knot. You try to reassure yourself and soothe your nerves; you wouldn't have lashed out for no reason, wouldn't have killed them in cold blood. You have control. Besides, you're not a violent person. Surely they know that?

That fateful morning, if Otto had reacted with violence towards you, you would have defended yourself to the best of your ability and removed yourself from the situation once the opportunity presented itself. There had to have been a way around him, around his brothers, right? 

If Axel had decided you were too much of an unknown threat and had shot, you would have feigned death until you could slip outside and decide on the next step. You're fairly confident you could play dead and pretend well enough, despite the pain. The blue-clad man wouldn't have just emptied his entire clip into you, right? 

If you were being realistic, you were only considering the best case scenarios for you and the brothers if things had played out a bit...differently. Because if you thought too long about the worst outcome, your heart would squeeze unbearably tight in your chest and your eyes would water uncontrollably. 

You didn't want to think about what you would have done if the three had subjected you to too much injury and triggered your second Phase.

There was no denying it, you were incredibly fond of the three.

Maybe even a bit...smitten? 

At the errant thought you slap your burning cheeks with your palms, fighting against the helpless fluttering sensation of the heated butterflies in your stomach. Not the time. 

...Wait, does that mean there will be a time?

Focus.

Focus, focus, focus.

With a steadying breath, you head back out into the kitchen. There's something you need to grab first.

"One last thing..."

Axel watches curiously as you pop open a kitchen drawer and rummage around its contents for an item you have stashed away.

"Here we go."

You find what you are looking for wrapped in a familiar kitchen towel; an old paring knife, kept clean and disinfected. You unwrap it a bit, just to check on the condition of the blade as the light glints off the metal.

A minor laceration from this would be just what you needed to keep you in your Phase long enough to hopefully answer all their questions.

You weren't sure you could count primarily on verbally explaining all the aspects of your ability. Some things you had nothing to compare with, not to mention how tongue-tied you were before. You're not all that confident when talking about your ability, as discussing it is still incredibly new to you. Demonstration could be a good approach, all things considered.

As you turn from the counter, a rough hand grips your wrist and pulls your arm up, leaving you to sway unsteadily nearly on tip toe. In your personal space, you can feel the warmth of him without needing to touch. It feels like if you could steal a speck of body heat from one of these men, you'd never feel the cold again.

Axel stares you down, lips pulled into a tight scowl, frowning with familiar furrowed brow.

Oh. 

Probably not a good idea to bring out a knife without context, especially around an assassin. Maybe next time explain first.

"...Sooo...um. I can't...will my ability to activate. I-it's a defense mechanism, remember? It needs something to trigger it."

His face is worryingly expressionless as he looks to the knife in your hand. With deft fingers, he plucks the tool from your grasp, leaving you with the empty towel as he slips it into his pocket without a word.

Did he seriously just...

"...Really?"

The audacity.

Radiating cool smugness, Axel strolls to the screen door and looks pointedly at you. Waiting.

You don't budge.

Turning your attention to your knife block set, you hum, "You know I could just grab one of these, right?"

You assess the assortment, paying less attention to the man now stalking back to you.

"Although I'd much rather these be used for cooking, but what choice do I have? Apparently you have your heart set on being a mother hen-"

Your tirade is cut short as Axel's hands grip your waist to turn you to face him. He bends, curls an arm around your legs, and hoists you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Dumbfounded and indignant, your lips part for some sort of reprimand to leave your tongue. But you stumble over the words.

With an arm across the backs of your thighs to lock your legs in place and keep you steady, he walks completely unburdened once more to the screen door. You brace your hands on his back, feeling muscle shift underneath the material of his white Henley with each step. Well, needless to say, you can't really think of a retort at the moment. Hopefully your dress isn't riding up too much.

You can't help but wonder; is it just your imagination, or are the brothers getting a bit more...grabby with you? But more importantly, you cannot let this man have the last 'word'.

Fighting down the butterflies that have returned with a vengeance, you grumble, "Don't complain if I can't give you all some clear answers without my knife."

The large palm loosely holding your thigh gives a squeeze, followed by Axel throwing a comment over his shoulder to you, "We'll see."

Well now. Axel is honest to god mother-henning you. This was...unexpected? Infuriating? Kind of sweet?

...Oh yes. They're most definitely getting more grabby with you.

[bechloeislegit]

25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020

Day 20 - The Barden Christmas Eve Bake-Off

Author's Prompt: Bakeoff AU - Every year Barden has a Christmas Eve Bake-Off, and for four straight years, Chloe Beale has won it with her baking partner Beca Mitchell. The two had a misunderstanding, and it's time for the bake-off. Will they settle their differences and win again this year? Or will their chances crumble along with their cookies?

The day before Christmas Eve, Chloe Beale walked into the Barden Christmas Eve Bake-Off kitchen and found her baking station. She set the box she had been carrying on the table and checked out her station.

Chloe had won the Bake-Off for the past four years and hoped to make it number five this year. No other baker, except one, has ever won the title for more than four years in a row, and Chloe beat that record last year, and she was ready to win again. Unfortunately for her, as her partner, Beca Mitchell was the other baker who had four wins to her name.

"Fuck!"

"Must you always be cursing?" Chloe asked, glaring over at Beca trying to wheel their hand cart through the door.

"Must you always be riding my ass?" Beca snarked back.

Beca finally made it through the door and stopped in front of their baking station. Beca looked at Chloe and asked, "Where do you want these?"

"Just leave it there," Chloe said, nodding to indicate where Beca was currently standing.

Beca sighed and made her way around the counter, so she was facing Chloe. She took a deep breath and said, "Can we not fight during the competition, Chlo? Can we please talk instead?"

Chloe didn't say anything; she just stared at Beca.

"Chloe?" Beca said. Chloe stared down at the counter, causing Beca to emit a loud sigh. "If you want to talk, I'm not going anywhere."

Beca's jaw was clenched as she turned and went back to the boxes. She took one and set it on the counter, and started removing the contents, setting them on the table.

"Um, Beca?" Chloe said, causing Beca to look over at her expectantly. "You're not supposed to unbox anything until tomorrow."

"Oh, um," Beca said, replacing what she took out of the box. "Right."

"Beca!" Stacie called as she walked in carrying a box. "Looks like we're neighbors."

Stacie set the box down at the next baking station. She walked over to Beca and grabbed her in a hug, and kissed her on the lips. The kiss was just a quick peck, but it caused Chloe's jaw to drop.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Beca asked, pushing Stacie away from her.

"I heard you and Chloe were no longer a thing," Stacie said, looking over at Chloe. "So, I thought I'd stake my claim before someone else did."

"Sorry, Stacie," Beca said. "I'm not interested." Beca lowered her voice and added, "You know I want Chloe. Even if Chloe doesn't want anything to do with me right now."

"You should take her up on it, Beca," Chloe said, having heard Beca. "I don't have it in me to care about what or who you do."

Chloe turned and started walking towards the exit. "I'm going home. I'll see you tomorrow."

Chloe hid her face so no one would see the tears in her eyes.

Beca's eyes were full of concern as she watched Chloe walk out the door. Beca ran out after her.

"Chloe?" Beca called out. "Wait. Please?"

"Leave me alone, Beca," Chloe said, wiping at her tears.

"Are you okay?" Beca asked. "You aren't looking so good right now."

"What do you care?" Chloe asked, glaring at Beca. "Isn't Stacie waiting for you?"

"I don't care about Stacie," Beca said. "I care about you because, even though you hate me for some reason, I lo-." Beca snapped her mouth shut when she realized what she was about to say. She swallowed and said, "I like having you as my friend."

"I guess I was right about you," Chloe said.

"What the Hell is that supposed to mean?" Beca asked, scowling.

"It means you aren't mature enough to handle what happened between us," Chloe said, causing Beca's cheeks to redden.

"Why are you so mad at me?" Beca asked. "What did I do?"

"Don't pretend like you don't know," Chloe scoffed.

"I'm not pretending," Beca said. "We had a great night, and you were fine when I left you. Then you shut me out and won't even talk to me."

"Can you blame me after what you did?" Chloe asked.

"That's just it," Beca said. "I haven't got a clue as to what I've supposedly done to make you hate me."

"Is everything okay over here, Beca?" Stacie asked, walking over to stand next to Beca.

"I don't know," Beca said and pointed over at Chloe. "Ask her."

Stacie turned to Chloe with a raised brow. "Well, Chloe? What's going on?"

"You really don't know why I'm upset with you?" Chloe asked, looking at Beca.

"That's what I just said," Beca said, sighing heavily. "That's what I've been saying."

"I can't be sure if you're telling the truth or not," Chloe said.

"Why would she lie?" Stacie asked, coming to Beca's defense.

"Because it was a dirty thing to do," Chloe said. "And Beca could be lying to try and get back on my good side."

Beca scoffed, and Stacie stood speechless as they both stared at Chloe as she glared at the two of them.

"I should probably go," Beca said, looking around. "A lot more people are here now, and I don't want to get in the middle of something in front of them."

"Let's go to my place," Stacie said. "We can talk about the bake-off and discuss where I'll be taking you on our first date."

"Okay," Beca said.

Chloe stood gawking in disbelief as the two brunettes walked off together.

~~ Day 20 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmas - 2020 ~~

"So, you never told me what actually happened between you and Chloe," Stacie said as she and Beca sat on her sofa, sipping beers.

"Well," Beca said, holding her beer bottle and picking at the label. "We were on our fourth date, and she invited me back to her place. We were talking and then we were kissing. One thing leads to another, and she led me to her bedroom. We had sex for the first time, and it was amazing."

"So, what happened?"

"It was about four in the morning and my phone pinged with a text notification," Beca said. "It was from my dad telling me that my grandmother had been in an accident and things didn't look good for her, so they were heading to the airport to catch a flight to Portland. He also said he had reserved a ticket in my name."

"I'm so sorry, Beca," Stacie said. "Why didn't you tell her?"

"I left her a note," Beca said. "I mean, it all happened so fast, but I wasn't going to just leave her without saying something. I called my dad, and he said he was on his way to my place to pick me up. I told him I wasn't at home and I'd meet them at the airport because I still had to go home and pack. Chloe was sleeping so peacefully that I didn't have the heart to wake her. So, I wrote Chloe a note and left. I went home, packed, and went straight to the airport."

Beca pulled out her phone and opened her camera app. She found the picture she was looking for and said, "See? I took a picture of her because she looked so peaceful laying there."

Stacie took the phone and looked at the picture. She smiled and handed the phone back to Beca.

"And Chloe didn't accept your explanation?" Stacie said.

"I don't know what she accepted," Beca said. "I texted her when my grandma died, and she never responded. I even tried to call her, but she didn't answer. And, now, every time I try to talk to her, she walks away or avoids being in the same place she knows I'll be. I don't know what I did to make her ghost me like that unless she regretted that night but doesn't have the guts to tell me. I'm surprised she didn't kick me out when I showed up for the bake-off."

"That doesn't sound like Chloe," Stacie said. "Something else must have happened."

"Like what?" Beca said. "Things were going great until we had sex."

"Maybe this bake-off thing will be your chance to make her talk to you," Stacie said. "I've got your back whenever you're ready to try talking to Chloe."

"And no more flirting just to rile up Chloe, okay?" Beca asked. "I really don't want her any madder at me than she already is."

"You've got it bad for her, huh?" Stacie asked.

"I'm in love with her, Stacie," Beca said.

"That's huge, Beca," Stacie said, sitting up straight. "I thought you were just having a bit of fun with her. I promise to behave."

"Then I'm in," Beca said. "Thanks, Stacie."

"No worries," Stacie said. "We'll put a plan in play tomorrow at the bake-off. After we're done, she'll be talking to you again."

Beca held out her beer bottle, and Stacie tapped it with her own. "Let's do it!"

~~ Day 20 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmas - 2020 ~~

The next day, Beca stood nervously at her baking station, waiting for Chloe to show up. She was barely listening to the schedule of the competition. A cheer went up when they mentioned the afternoon's challenge of the gingerbread house decorating.

Beca knew if they made it through the first round, they'd be hard to beat on the gingerbread challenge. Chloe made the best gingerbread around, and Beca had a special design ready to not only wow the judges but hopefully wow Chloe even more.

The gingerbread houses were not judged on taste alone. They were also judged on the originality and execution of their design.

Beca had done the competition enough times that she knew the day was broken down into two parts. The morning was set aside for the original cookie recipe, and the afternoon was the gingerbread house competition. For the original cookie, each team had to make four dozen cookies and be judged based on the recipe's originality, taste, and presentation.

Chloe still had not arrived, and the competition was about to start. They had not discussed the original recipe they were going to use, but Beca had one she had planned out.

"Alright, bakers," the announcer said, causing Beca to panic slightly. "You've got three hours to make four dozen cookies, using an original cookie recipe of you and your partner's creation. Your time starts now!"

Beca and the rest of the competitors started hustling around their stations. Beca kept stealing glances over at the door, expecting Chloe to come through them. Her heart grew heavier every time she looked up and didn't see Chloe.

Beca had not noticed Stacie making her way over to her.

"Don't worry, Beca," Stacie said, causing Beca to jump. "I'm sure Chloe will be here. She's not the type to leave anyone hanging."

"I'm not worried yet," Beca said. "I have the original cookie recipe challenge handled. I just need her to show up in time for the gingerbread challenge."

"Feeling extra confident, are you?" Stacie teased, causing Beca to laugh.

"Rightfully, so," Beca replied. "We have won it four times in a row for a reason. Shouldn't you be helping your partner?"

"Jessica has it covered," Stacie said with a shrug. "She only needs me when it's time to dip the cookies in the chocolate."

"Is she trying her chocolate-covered mint cookie again?" Beca asked.

"Yep," Stacie said. "She's been tweaking it since last year. She thinks this is her year to take down Team BeChloe."

Beca laughed and shook her head. Stacie turned her head when she heard Jessica calling her.

"I gotta go," Stacie said and went back to her station.

~~ Day 20 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmas - 2020 ~~

Beca had pulled the last tray of peanut butter cookies out of the oven and set them on the counter. She checked her banana filling and got her piping bags ready. She laid out the two dozen that had been cooling and began piping the banana filling on a cookie; she then placed a second cookie on top.

"What did you make, Beca?" Stacie asked from her station.

"I call them Chloe's Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich Cookies," Beca said.

"How did you come up with that?" Jessica asked.

"From Chloe," Beca said. "She told me her mom used to make her peanut butter and banana sandwiches for lunch practically every day when she was in elementary school. I thought it would bring back some nice memories for her."

"They sound good, Beca," Jessica said.

"She's so whipped," Stacie mumbled to Jessica, causing Jessica to laugh.

Beca put two cookies together and walked over to Jessica and Stacie. She held the cookies out and said, "Would you two taste these? I need to know if I have enough banana flavor in the filling."

"Sure, Beca, we'll try them," Stacie said, taking both cookies and handing one to Jessica.

Jessica bit into her cookie and frowned.

"What's wrong, Jess?" Beca asked, looking worried. "Do they taste bad?"

"No," Jessica said. "They taste amazing. I kind of hate you right now."

"She's right, Beca," Stacie said, chewing on her cookie. "These are really good. And it has the perfect amount of banana flavor."

"Thanks," Beca said. "I was hoping Chloe would be the taste tester, but she's still not here."

~~ Day 20 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmas - 2020 ~~

Beca was standing at Stacie and Jessica's station while waiting for the judges to come back and announce the winners of the original cookie recipe challenge.

"There's Chloe," Stacie said, causing Beca to look over at the door.

"Seriously?" Beca said. "I texted her, and she didn't have the courtesy even to respond. And now she waltzes in here like she isn't over three hours late."

"Go talk to her before the judges come back," Stacie said.

"What if we talk and she tells me she actually hates me?" Beca asked.

"What if she tells you she loves you?" Stacie said. "Problem solved."

Beca chewed her lip and once again looked over at Chloe.

"Go ahead, Beca," Stacie said. "We have a few minutes before the judges come back."

Beca sighed and slowly made her way over to her baking station. Getting there just as Chloe did.

"Hey," Chloe said.

"Hey?" Beca snapped. "Seriously? You come in late, missing almost the entire first challenge, and all you can say is, hey? Unbelievable!"

"What do you want from me, Beca?" Chloe asked.

"What I want from you is for you to tell me why you've been ignoring me?" Beca whisper-yelled. "Do you really hate me that much?"

Chloe's mouth dropped open. She lowered her voice and said, "I don't hate you. And I didn't start ignoring you until you left me to wake up alone after we had sex. How do you think that made me feel?"

"I left you a note!" Beca whisper-yelled.

"No, you didn't," Chloe whisper-yelled back.

"Yes, I did," Beca said. "You were sleeping so peacefully I didn't have the heart to wake you up."

"Why did you leave then?"

"I explained it all in the note!"

"There wasn't a note!" Chloe repeated, her frustration with Beca even more evident. "Just tell me why you left."

"Because I had to go to Maine," Beca said, getting irritated. "My grandmother had an accident, and they didn't think she was going to make it, so my dad and I flew up to see her before she passed. We barely made it before she died."

"Your grandmother died?' Chloe asked, moving her arm to reach out to Beca, only to drop it back down to her side when Beca flinched away from Chloe.

"She did," Beca said. "And you would know this if you hadn't ignored my texts or my phone call. My grandmother died, and the one person I thought would be there for me didn't even acknowledge me. How do you think that made me feel?"

Beca wiped a tear from her eye. She turned and said over her shoulder, "I'm sorry I bothered you. It won't happen again."

Chloe stood, unmoving as Beca walked away. She didn't know what to say. She wiped a tear that fell down her cheek.

"Chloe?" Stacie said as she walked up to the redhead. "Are you okay?"

"No," Chloe said, wiping the tears from her face.

"Did Beca tell you about the note?" Stacie asked.

Chloe just nodded and said, "She mentioned it, but I swear there wasn't any note."

Stacie looked over at Beca, standing across the room with her back against the wall. She could see Beca was crying.

"Chloe," Stacie said. "Are you sure there wasn't a note? Could it have fallen under the bed or something?"

"I guess anything is possible," Chloe mumbled. "But, it's been over two weeks. I'm sure I would have found it by now if there was one."

"Wait here," Stacie said. "I just thought of something."

Stacie rushed over to Beca. Beca wiped her face when she saw Stacie coming toward her.

"Beca, can I see that picture again?" Stacie asked. "The one you took of Chloe before you left that morning?"

"Why?" Beca asked.

"Something's been bugging me about it since you first showed it to me," Stacie said. "Let me see it; maybe I can figure it out."

"I don't know what you expect to see," Beca said. "It's just Chloe sleeping."

Beca pulled out her phone and opened the camera app; she found Chloe's picture and held the phone out to Stacie. Stacie took the phone and looked at it. She squinted and then used two fingers to enlarge the photo.

"Aha!" Stacie cried out. "It's there!"

"What's there?" Beca asked, wiping her cheeks.

"Your note," Stacie said. "It's in the picture, see?"

Beca looked at her phone and smiled.

"And, you can clearly read most of what the note said," Stacie said. "You have to show this to Chloe."

"Ladies and gentleman, we ask that all bakers return to your stations," a voice called out, garnering everyone's attention. "We are ready to announce the winners of the first challenge."

"Take this," Stacie said, shoving the phone into Beca's hands. "And prove to Chloe you left a note."

Beca took the phone and hurried over to her baking station. She slowed down when she saw Chloe glaring at her with her arms crossed over her chest.

Beca looked down at her phone and back up to Chloe. She turned her phone off and put it in her back pocket. She went to her station and stood close to Chloe but would not look at her. Beca kept her eyes to the front the whole time.

The announcer went through the winner's list, starting with the team in tenth place. They were down to the second-place team.

"And in second place," the announcer said. "With their chocolate-dipped mint cookies, Team Conrad/Smith!"

Stacie and Jessica squealed and ran up to the judge to get their 2nd place ribbon.

"And now, first place in the original recipe category," the announcer said. "With Chloe's Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich Cookies, Team Beale/Mitchell!"

Everyone started clapping. Jessica and Stacie were yelling, "Way to go, BeChloe!"

Chloe's mouth dropped open in shock; Beca went up to the judges and accepted their first-place ribbon. She came back and threw it on the table in front of Chloe.

"This belongs to you," Beca said.

"You named your cookie after me?" Chloe said. "What made you do that?"

"Because you're the one who gave me the idea for it," Beca said.

"I did?" Chloe said.

"Yeah, you did," Beca said. "You once told me how your mother always made you peanut butter and banana sandwiches for lunch when you were in elementary school."

"You remember that?" Chloe asked. "I told you that years ago."

"I remember a lot of things you told me, Chloe," Beca said, reaching to retrieve a cookie. "Here, try it."

Beca handed Chloe her namesake cookie, and Chloe bit into it.

"Oh, my God, Becs," Chloe said. "It tastes just like the peanut butter and banana sandwiches I remember."

Chloe sighed and looked down at the table. "Becs, I'm sorry I didn't believe you about the note. I should have known you wouldn't lie about something like that. I am truly sorry."

"If you need me to, I can prove I left you a note," Beca said, pulling out her phone.

Chloe put a hand over Beca's, stopping her. "That's not necessary," Chloe said. "I'm serious, I believe you. I really do."

"There was something else in that note that you need to know about," Beca said.

"What?" Chloe asked.

"I said, I, um," Beca stammered. "I said I love you. That night was really special to me, and I couldn't leave without telling you how I felt. Even if it was in a note."

Chloe's eyes widened, and before Beca knew it, Chloe pulled Beca to her and crashed their lips together. Stacie and Jessica could be heard yelling and cheering. Chloe started laughing and pulled back from the kiss.

"I love you, too, Becs," Chloe said just before reattaching her lips to Beca's.

Later that night, Beca and Chloe were lying on Chloe's sofa. Beca was on cloud nine; not only had she gotten the girl, but they had won the Barden Bake-off for an unprecedented fifth time.

"I can't believe you made up an original cookie recipe using one of my favorite sandwiches from when I was a kid," Chloe murmured as she laid snuggled up with Beca. "And I love that for the gingerbread challenge you designed a replica of a campsite because I told you how much I loved going camping with my family."

"I wanted you to know how I feel about you," Beca said. "I thought using some of your childhood memories would let you know I was paying attention all this time."

Beca looked at the time and noticed it was after Midnight. She smiled as she whispered, "Merry Christmas, Chloe," just before kissing Chloe again.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I know, I know; Christmas has been over and it's now March. But life has a way of interrupting some things. And I've always said I will never abandon a story or leave it unfinished, so this is me keeping my promise. Days 20-22 are done and will be posted today. Days 23-25 are still being edited and revamped a bit and will be posted in a couple of days. And that will truly end Christmas 2020 for me. Thank you all for your patience and your kind words along the way.

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Ghosts’ Journey (Part 2): The History of Chime Gen

Here it is... the whole thing. I wanted to cut it but there was no good place. I did my best with the translation. (FINGEL PLEASE SPEAK HUMAN) Because this is important information to the Chime/Ruri fandom the Content of his speech is nearly exactly as it is in the novel.

@rurifangirl By request

The plan was to wake up before him. You had learned from Z that Japanese men were conservative. You didn’t know each other. He was out of it. He might think you took advantage of him. That sort of thing happened in Black Swan.

But he was also human and humans needed touch. Z’s hug transformed you even more than Herzog’s laughter. You didn’t get any affectionate human touch as a child. You would give him that precious touch so his mind could heal. Or maybe you would give him that touch because you desperately needed it yourself. Maybe you gave it to Ruri because he could give it to you and not require anything in return as a doll-person.

These were the excuses you gave yourself until you fell asleep in his arms.

As soon as you opened your eyes and felt the sun coming through the small window, you realized that you failed your mission objective. Ruri was sitting up next to you while you lay on the pillow. He was looking out the window. His eyes were no longer empty, but they held no joy. They were still, without any spark.

Guilt makes you freeze momentarily. “If you wanna push me off the bed, you can.”

The words shocked him out of his reverie. He looked down at you with those dark eyes and you detected a strange hesitation. His eyes meet yours and shift away without any friction. “You can stay if you want,” he said in a soft melodic voice.

“Sorry. I meant to wake up before you. Are you… in any pain? Physically I mean. The rest is obvious.” You sit up and swing over the edge of the bed. Ugly black veins are pulsing up your feet. The dragon blood in your body was now showing up more permanently. You flexed your toes and tried to calm it.

“No.”

“Good.”

“I want to apologize to you. For making a promise I won’t be able to keep.” He said.

“And what promise was that?” In this light, Ruri Kazama was no star performer. He looked shockingly ordinary, able to blend in with the masses on the streets of Japan. You probably wouldn’t recognize him were it not for his long hair.

“All of them. It’s all a deception.” 

“You’re going to have to be more specific.” You whisper, looking up at him seriously. On the one hand, it wouldn’t be the first time you were deceived by a man, but on the other hand, you personally understood the intense warping of the mind that came with being a child of Herzog. 

“I made you believe that I was Ruri Kazama. That I had power and wealth. That I could lead the Devil Clan by defeating the King General.” He paused for a long time before whispering. “None of that was true.”

You shrug it off. “Okay. I’ll believe you. But you’ll have to understand that was not why I pursued you. And I’m sorry I gave you that impression. If anything, I have many more reasons to stick with you now.”

“The King General will kill you.” He said gravely.

“Not if Bondarev gets to me first.” You quip and smile but his sharp intense glare makes your smile falter a moment. You stare at each other unblinkingly for a moment. “Look. Don’t play this… ‘you need to stay away from me’ line.” You whisper, but your tone is kind. “I will be in danger no matter what. I should be dead by now. And every day I live is on borrowed time.” 

You roll up your sleeves to show him the black veins beneath pale skin dotted with sparkling gold scales. “Can I at least have your company for the time I have left?”

Chime Gen gives a sad shake of his head. Maybe if he were in another state, he would have insisted and argued. But now he just gives up and hangs his head, his hair covering his face. When you reach out to brush it back, his hand catches yours and gently places it in your lap.

You bite the inside of your lip and fight your internal panic. He wasn’t feeling well. He had a humiliating and terrifying night. You’d seen him at his lowest. He was revealed to be nothing but a doll, a marionette whose strings had been cut. So of course your affection was painful.

“What do you want right now?” Your voice is flat and expressionless.

“Can you bring me that box?”

He points over to an ornate wooden box. It had a curved metal handle and a pot-like metal lid. It had a few small drawers and two hooks with which to carry a long narrow pipe. Ruri knew what to do when you brought it. He took the pipe from the box and then opened the drawer.

“Can you tell me about this?” You ask quietly.

“This is called a kiseru. It uses a special kind of tobacco. You won’t find it outside of Japan.” He pulls a wood box covered with hand written script on rice paper. The smell of the leaves reaches your nose. It was tobacco but it had a richer, almost meaty aroma.

“You just roll it in a ball between your fingers and put it into the pipe like this.” The pipe was narrow and very long but Chime was so practiced that he could roll the tobacco in one hand and hold the pipe in the other. He stuffed the pipe and you held out the open box of matches. He glances at you but you keep your face carefully neutral. He takes the box of matches from you and strikes one. He pauses for two seconds and lights the tobacco. There’s a small compartment in this box that he drops the spent match in.

You set the box at the end of the bed and then sit next to him. He inhales deep and breathes out a long smooth stream of white that swirls around his face like mist. It smelled different from Caesar’s cigars, not as sweet, but this was the smell on his clothing when you found Ruri Kazama in the rain, fleeing from the Hydra operatives.

“It… doesn’t bother you?”

You shake your head. “I like it.”

He hasn’t pushed you off the bed yet so you stay there and watch him smoke. His eyes and mind were far away, like he’d gone on a long journey. All you could do was wait for him to come back.

You weren’t at peace for long when you heard Caesar’s voice coming through the door.  "Then, as the best journalist among us, this great task falls on your shoulders! Whether it's psyching him up or hanging him up and beating him, get the information about the King General out of his mouth." Caesar opened the door to your room and pushed Fingel inside, "We’ll go have breakfast first, and, hopefully, we'll hear good news from you when we return."

Apparently, all the boys were awake and in the hallway. Fingel stumbled in, locked eyes with you and then flailed. “Aaah! Sorry, I’m interrupting!”

“You’re not.” You say with a sly smile. “We just finished.”

Chime inhaled sharply and coughed.

You flinched. “Sorry. I… I say things like this. I’ll shut up now.” You turn back to Fingel and the others and beckon them in. Then you look around. “Sorry, there’s nowhere to sit!”

“I’ll get something, you sit right there.” Caesar’s eyes hold a sly little light.

Caesar returned with chairs and they all sat around the bed while Chime silently finished off his pipe. He looked incredibly peaceful and you calmed yourself inside that you’d done and said the right thing.

The silence lasted for nearly five minutes and you were impressed with the boys’ fortitude. True to character, Caesar broke first. He kicked Fingel and nodded sharply towards Ruri.

 Fingel, looking a little nervous, cleared his throat, and prepared an opening statement: "You have the right to remain silent."

It took everything in you not to crack a smile, even though you were practiced. So you followed the joke up with a withering look of absolute disdain while you clenched your stomach and held your breath. 

Chime gently exhaled a mouthful of smoke, and his face was submerged in it, shielding him like a veil: "I know what you want to ask, and I will tell you. But please don't rush to ask me. Let me take my time to figure it out, so that it will be more clear."

You swivel your head to look at him, immediately concerned. The simple humble request moved you more than any of Ruri Kazama’s quick-wittedness. His voice was speaking like a small tired soul out of a grave. His eyes were heavy with sadness.

"My current appearance surprises you guys, right? Actually, this is my actual appearance. Every time you see me, I have more or less put on makeup. Only some of the makeup is so good that you can't see it." Chime Gen thought for a long time before he spoke again, "I have the same face as my brother, but I am not as good-looking as my brother. It’s only after wearing makeup that I look like him.” 

“When I was young, I always thought how nice it would be if I could be like my brother. He’s so perfect that people used to wonder how an insignificant person like me could be his brother. We both have been fatherless for as long as we can remember. No one can really prove that we are brothers. There were times when people said we didn't look alike, and I hid and cried. I was such a weak character as a child."

You squint, not understanding. How could Chime say Chisei was perfect if Chisei couldn’t see the truth if it was standing right in front of him? He still supported Tachibana after realizing that he was turning people into Deadpool and planning to awaken the Light king. You tried to help Chisei only because Chime asked you to. It was not Ruri Kazama who asked you to. It was Chime.

Chime turns to you, seeing the look in your eyes. “We both grew up in the mountains. There was only one middle school in that town and every girl in the school had a crush on my brother -- or, at least, that was what I always believed. He was the team leader in the kendo department and the team leader in the basketball club, and the girls loved to watch him sweat and practice his sword in the sunset. He was so focused, so intense, that even if there was a wall in front of him, he would break it down. So, even though he was so cold that he didn't even look at the girls, the girls kept sneaking glances at him, day after day after day. You may think that my bloodline is better than my brother's, so I'm stronger than him, but you're wrong. My brother's strength is not in bloodline, it's in his heart. He is the kind of man who will go forward once he has decided, and he will be able to achieve great things. For example, if he decides to be a friend of justice, he will be a friend of justice all his life.”

If it were anyone else saying those words, you would have a fiery response to that. His brutal murder of Chance was his decision and you couldn’t persuade him to stop. But who’s fault was that really? He only turned into that killer after Chance’s blood acted up. Before that, he was Chance’s protector. His Savior. He was going to let him go.

“I’m not going to ask you for your forgiveness.” Those words. Chisei had made his decision about Chance. But he was okay that you stayed upset with him about it. In your mind, you look at Chisei over the gap between you again and wonder if you should still hold out hope for him.

"My brother said he must work hard because we do not have parents. Only by hard work will we not be looked down upon.”

“He said he was going to take the entrance exam to Tokyo University and take me to Tokyo one day. I just hated that I was a useless brother, that I can't get into Tokyo University and that I can't help my brother. Everything my brother does is so that he and I can have dignity. I really wanted to be like my brother: a determined man, so that I could stand by his side and be considered his brother. But I was also a little jealous of my brother. Why is he the same as me, but he is so good and I am so weak, being called girly? But I never wanted to outshine my brother, I just wanted to be able to share a little bit of my brother's glory... just a little bit less than him.”

 "Then Tachibana Masamune came to the mountain and he said that both my brother and I had excellent bloodlines, and he would take one of us to Tokyo to train, and the other would stay in the mountain. If the former was killed, the latter would be the replacement. He said we could never tell the outside world that there were two Gen Clan children, and that the Gen family did not need two heads. As a matter of course, my brother was taken away as the future head of the family and I was left behind. I was his shadow. I have been his faceless shadow all my life. So sometimes I hated him too.”

He glanced at you but you said nothing. Beneath his words, the viper Bondarev slid. You couldn’t know exactly where he was in this whole story. But he separated Chisei from Chime. Chisei said his brother was ‘probably dead’. Were those Tachibana’s words? So that Chisei wouldn’t visit him?

"It was then that I met the King General, and he appeared to me as a man wearing a Noh theater mask.”

“I grew up loving noh and kabuki and was curious about this man in a noh mask, but the King General didn't actually know how to perform noh, he just knew the human heart too well. He started by coaching my performance and got to know me gradually. He would always meet with me alone and asked me not to tell my brother or anyone else. I didn't tell my brother because everything in this world is my brother's. I wanted the King General to be my teacher alone, something truly mine. King would say he saw my potential. He said I am better than my brother.”

Your eyes slide to one side as you hear the song of the manipulation. With just Bondarev alone, you didn’t hear it though you suspected it. It wasn’t until you heard the play of both Bondarev and Herzog that the sound of it became clear that these boys were being double teamed. That said, you also realized that both of these boys were plagued with a strong sense of pride. While he readily admitted he didn’t want to outshine his brother, at the same time, Chime didn’t want to be too low. And when King General promised him greatness, he fell for it.

 "It was like I was living in a fantasy during that time. Every night, King would wait for me in the mountains, and we would stroll along the mountain paths until the moon was in the middle of the sky. Under the stars, he explained to me the characters in the kabuki, and he gave me a strong drink which warmed my body. I was not tired even after walking with him all night in the mountains. Suddenly, one day I noticed a girl smiling at me shyly, with an expression I had never seen before. I was delighted at first, thinking I could learn that expression, but as I kept practicing that shy smile in the mirror, I realized why she was smiling at me like that; because I had become beautiful. My whole being looked like it was glowing.""

 "That wine was mixed with evolutionary drugs?" Caesar asked.

“Yes, I am the only one in this world who swallowed that many evolutionary drugs without losing control of who I was. My own blood can restrain the evolutionary drugs' side-effects.  My blood is more poisonous than evolutionary drugs." Chime said slyly.

"Sorry to interrupt you... Please continue." Caesar said.

Chime Gen nodded: "I can't remember the rest. Those memories are very vague, I only know that the Final Police Report said that the town's serial killings of female high school students were all caused by the same person. Because that person left, they closed the case."

"What does that mean?" Caesar did not understand.

 "I killed a total of fourteen girls and turned their bodies into waxed human statues and placed them in the deepest basement of the school, where I sewed kabuki costumes for the dead and practiced imitating the women. This incident was considered by the Yakuza Hydra family to be a crime committed by a deadpool. So my brother was sent back to that town on a clean-up mission. That night I killed the fourteenth girl right before his eyes. He found me when I was in the basement preparing the corpse, dressed in women's clothing, singing."

Chime spoke softly, "I was stabbed through the heart by my brother. He threw my corpse into a deep well, locked the lid forever, and then buried the whole well. I think it was because I became the devil in his eyes and he was afraid that the devil might rise from the dead. Even if he had my body burned, he wouldn’t rest easy. He wanted to be able to see my bones, my body at the bottom.”

All of you shivered in unison, and the thing that was even more frightening than that atrocity was that Chime Gen talked about such bloody matters as if he were talking about another person, calm to the point of indifference.

 "I know what you're thinking. You're wondering if I've gone crazy. Clearly, I killed so many people, but I talk about it as if those things have nothing to do with me. But I really don't think I killed those girls. During that time, I was having a nightmare, a nightmare in which I lived a happy life, in which my charm conquered every girl in the school. I finally wouldn't disgrace my brother. I asked them to go to the river to see the stars. They came shyly. I took their hands and they all accepted, and then I cut their throats with a knife. At their happiest moment. But their beautiful expressions weren’t preserved on their own. They were made into statues by me, so that I kept the most beautiful side of them. In the dream, I felt that there was nothing wrong with this. Until someone outside the dream was calling me, I suddenly realized that it was my brother who came back. My brother came home to see me. I suddenly turned around and came back to reality all of a sudden, but I didn't have time to hug my brother before I ran into his blade head-on.”

 "When I woke up again, I was on a huge stage. There was a beam of light hitting me from above. I was wearing the clothes of The Great Maiden in the Clouds, with long hair and full makeup. I didn't have any wounds on my body, but the pain from being stabbed in the chest seemed to remain there. I was sitting on a gorgeous throne. And next to me stood various girls in Kabuki costumes, each one beautiful. It seemed like I had just taken a nap while my attendants waited for me to wake up. I suddenly couldn't tell reality from illusion. I felt like I was still in that basement full of corpses. I couldn't tell if the girls around me were living or dead. The girls and the members of the Devil Clan sitting on the stage applauded vigorously as if they had just watched a thrilling performance. The King announced to everyone that he had found the true successor to the Great Three Clans, and that was me, and that I would guide the Devil Clan into the future. Their faces ran with tears. I asked the King General what was real and what was not, and the King General simply said congratulations on the awakening of the Emperor."

    "So you remember all these things, only you think some of them happened in a dream but some were reality?" Chu Zihang asked.

 "Yes, the serial killing was like a dream to me. Everything in the dream was blurry. Only the faces of those girls and the moment I killed them were clear. In the dream, I seemed to become another person. Killing was not a terrible thing for me. It was a beauty. I would be ecstatic for the moment when the girl's dying smile had not completely faded, before despair and panic had appeared, and I would be excited to see the blood spilled." Chime Gen said, "But I look back on that state afterwards, especially when I think of all the dead bodies I had sung to in that damp basement, and I'm so scared and disgusted that I can't help vomiting every time."

 "So you don't deny that you killed those girls?" Caesar said.

 "I can't deny it, I remember every detail so clearly. If I didn't do it myself, who could have put those details into my head?" Chime Gen said, "It's as if there was an evil spirit hiding in my body. That evil spirit woke up and took control of me. The really gorgeous and charming part of me is that spirit. As for me, I'm just a mediocre person."

Lu Mingfei quietly shivered.

You sat still, not looking at anyone. Now your hair fell in front of you. Ruri was silent. You could see him watching you with a cold expression a moment before turning back to the window.

"Did he exchange anything with you?" Lu Mingfei asked cautiously, "I mean the evil spirit inside your body."

Chime Gen smiled indifferently, "I am not going to excuse myself. I am the evil spirit. The evil spirit is me. The evil spirit is another state of mine. It is one with me."

"That's why you hate King General so much, because it was the King General who drew out the evil spirit in your body. He went to the mountain to find you, in fact, to find the evil spirit in your body." Chu Zihang said.

 "Yes, and I failed to resist his temptation. He was the one who created the unbreakable barrier between me and my brother, and, from that day on, my brother was no longer my brother, and the relationship between him and me was between a Devil Slayer and a Devil." Chime said, "The King General ruined my life and turned me into his 'Dragon King'. I wanted to get rid of his control, so I had to kill him. Otherwise, he could find me no matter where I fled. Even to the ends of the earth. Last night, I thought I had succeeded. I thought I had shaken him off. But I was wrong, he could not be shaken off, we two evil spirits were destined to go all the way."

You lift your head slightly. You said the same thing about Renata’s killer Bondarev. You understood this. It would all end in blood eventually. There was no other way.

 "Do you believe that there are really evil spirits in this world that cannot be killed?" Caesar turned to Chu Zihang, "I mean King General."

"As I said before, although my reason tells me that there should be no such thing as ghosts in the world," Chu Zihang said slowly, "but what I have seen is beyond human understanding."

"He will come for me, and it is useless for me to hide anywhere. No one in this world can kill him, and neither can I." Chime said quietly, "He also took away the power he gave me."

"What does that mean?" Caesar asked.

"That banging sound. That's what he used to control me. He can use the sound of the clapper to put me into the state of the 'evil spirit'. In that state, I will have the power of the bloodline, my confidence and determination will skyrocket. Kazama Ruri is actually the name of that evil spirit. He can also use the sound of the clapper to make the evil spirit sleep, so that I can become a Chime Gen. With my current strength, I can't even hold the hilt of my sword. When he finds his way here, I have no choice but to sit and wait for death."

“Is this consistent with what you know?” Chu Zihang asked, addressing you.

“Yes. If I may… speak.” You look at Chime. “I know about the clapper sound. I was present with King General, when he was Dr. Herzog. I saw how he can turn access to dragon words on and off… although I was raised by him, I was not given the treatment that would put me under his control.”

“So you know?” Chime asked.

You nod slowly. “I know a lot.”

Chime turned his pipe upside down and tapped it into the ashtray.

"Lu Mingfei also reacted to that banging sound, but Lu Mingfei didn't seem to switch any state!" Caesar said.

You turn to Lu Mingfei in shock. “What?!”

“Given that lowlife face he’s putting right now, he’s definitely the real Lu Mingfei. Accept no substitutions.” Fingal nodded rapidly.

You continue to stare at Lu Mingfei for an uncomfortably long time until Mingfei just drives his eyes into the floor. Lu Mingfei is Z’s brother. Z was with you in Black Swan… then… that means...

Caesar pondered for a moment: "Initially, we thought that The White King was our enemy, but now it seems that the King will be no less terrifying than a Dragon God. This situation is tricky for both us and Hydra. It seems that we should join forces with your brother, and, as for the conflict between the Academy and Hydra, we can take our time to resolve it afterwards."

 "You have to gain my brother's trust first. He doesn't trust you, much less me. Even if he has watched me attempt to assassinate the King General, he will have thought it was an internal fight in the Devil Clan. With the death of Tachibana Masamune, and with his position in mind, he is bound to make his own plans. Tachibana Masamune's plan was to destroy the White King and make the Hydra family independent again. To take control of the future of the Japan Branch. In this case, my brother will not cooperate with you." Chime Gen said, "He will find a way to kill the King General himself."

You’re silent through all of this talk. None of this is relevant to you after all. You’re still reeling from the revelation that Chime had killed women like you before under the influence of the King General. Although he might not even realize it was the clapper sound causing the killing sprees, he recognized the split personality state that sometimes people were put in when they heard the clapper. You recall the handsome and flirty Anton, who was changed to the Anton who was dead inside, what was changed to the Anton that was like a reptile.

The fact that Lu Mingfei was also susceptible to this sound shook you as well. Lu Mingfei’s sudden great headache on the roof during the Tokyo Tower mission: Was that also a result of the clapper? You didn’t hear any clapper that you could recall at that time. But still, while Lu Mingfei cringed and moaned in front of you, you tried to speak with him and your words were not reaching him. It was like he was turning into a doll, but didn’t go all the way.

"I'm not doubting your brother's fighting ability, but you’re clearly the smarter one. I don’t think that your brother is clever enough to face the King." Caesar said.

"Brother still holds the last card, he has Erii Uesugi in his hand."

"Erii is more powerful than you?" Lu Mingfei asked.

 Chime Gen shook his head slowly: "I don't know what Erii Uesugi is, but I really don't have the certainty to say that Ruri Kazama can beat her. She seems to be extremely crippled in some ways, but her kind of catastrophic killing power is a power on the level of a Dragon King."

“Japan is really a place full of monsters." Caesar said with an exasperated sigh, "Get some rest, we still have to go to breakfast. Want us to bring you something?"

"After hearing all the things I've done, do you still see me as a friend?" Chime looked up and looked Caesar in the eyes.

"If you do another vicious act in front of me, I will stick my knife in your heart just like your brother; but until then, we should be considered allies, if not friends." Caesar walked out of the room without looking back and the others followed. "If the King will indeed find you here, we will keep you safe."

 The door closed, and Chime was silent for a long, long time, sighing softly, "It would be foolish to make rash statements like who you will protect until you truly know the King's General but thank you." Chime looked at you. “What say you? MC?”

You stare after the closed door, eyes empty. “I understand what you mean now. When you said the King General will kill me, you meant to say, he will use you to do it. Right?” You look in his direction.

Chime Gen’s eyes were sad, so sad.

You close your eyes and nod in confirmation. “I understand.” You take a deep breath and turn to him, leaning in closer. “But I’m not giving up.” You whisper. “First, we have to survive. Then… after that, we can be together. But you promised me you would not give up your life. Keep that promise. Don’t seek death. Okay?”

You squeeze his hands tightly and he returns that squeeze with a firm grip of his own, a grip so tight it was painful. The pain in your hands distracted you from the pain in your heart. When your hands finally released, that throbbing ache in the bones of your hand was as good as a kiss.

You get up and walk quickly out of the room. Your things were no longer in the bath house so you had to head down the hall to the elevator. Much to your shock, Caesar was there waiting for you alone. You stop, hesitant. “Lose your appetite?”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay. That must have been very hard for you to hear.” He stood, one hand in his pocket. He looked almost too innocent and you wonder if he was eavesdropping.

You shrug. “It is what it is. Until the King General dies… Now if you excuse me, I have to pack.”

You step around him and he catches your arm. “What do you mean pack?” His blue eyes snap at you.

You look up at him in confusion. “I’m leaving. I can’t stay here. The …” You stop talking and sigh, massaging your forehead. Do you really have to spell it out for him? “Okay. Listen. The King General wants me dead just as much as Bondarev. He must know I love Ruri Kazama by now and if he comes here, he will not kill me. He will use Chime to do it, just because he’s that much of an asshole! He’s the type of person who would punish Chime for rebelling like this. He’s used Chime as a murder weapon before, and he’ll do it again!”

“You can’t go out there. Chisei or Hydra or Bondarev, if he’s still alive as you think he is, are still around and hunting you. How are you going to defend yourself on your own?!” 

Caesar didn’t let you go but you jerked out of his grip. “I’ll have to find a way! But I can’t stay here and be a sitting duck for Herzog. You heard what he said! Herzog will find him no matter where he runs. And he’s the type of person who would do this!”

“No,” Caesar’s eyes were firm. “That Gen brother needs you. He would never hurt you.”

You laugh but there’s no joy in it. Your frustration and anger is building in your eyes. “What part of mind control don’t you understand! Do you think he would ever hurt the 14 girls he already hurt? Why am I different?”

“Because you’re already in his heart! That’s why he’s sending you away to protect you right?” Caesar hissed.

You shake your head and raise your arms only to drop them in frustration. “Caesar. … I told him not to send me away. But after hearing what he said, … this is my decision.”

“No.” Caesar dug his heels in. You could see that firm immovable light in his eyes. “I’m not letting you out of my sight.” He stepped around you easily. It was confrontational, blocking you. He was serious. He was between you and the elevator and your back is against the wall.

You look at him in disbelief. “You’re just going to let me sleep in the same place as the murder weapon?”

“Hey!” He hissed. He bangs his fist against the wall next to your face and there’s a crack visible in the plaster. He points down the hall toward Kazama’s room. “He is not a murder weapon. That is the man you love. He needs you to believe in him!”

 Your eyes have gone distant and dull. You couldn’t believe those words had come out of your mouth. After everything that had happened to you. How could you ever say something like that? You feel like your world is spinning. The logic of survival dictated that you leave him and stay away from him. So you continue to protest. “Caesar… Herzog is counting on me to stay close to Ruri. He’s betting on it. He’ll set the stage. He’ll make it beautiful and when it’s at its most beautiful and we’re so close… Ruri will...”

Caesar takes a deep breath and shakes out his hand. “So we’ll think of a plan B.”

“What plan B? None of us can beat Ruri Kazama if he loses his mind to the clapper.” You whisper hoarsely. “I don’t care as much about dying as much as I do about breaking his heart. If the King General makes him kill me.” You look into his eyes, begging him to understand. “Caesar… it will destroy him. I don’t want to give King General that satisfaction. That’s what I really care about.”

Then you see in Caesar's eyes a black boiling rage like a ferocious thundercloud! A killing aura! “I want to see this bastard try. I don’t believe in Ghosts or evil spirits or any of that fake ass shit.” Caesar spat. “You know better than anyone else here. King General is just a man. A man behind a curtain of tricks. You already saw through his trap today. If you run off, you’ll just run into his back-up trap. It’s better to deal with the devil you know, go about our business as usual and set up a trap of our own.”

You finally relent. “Fine. What do you have in mind?”

“I’ll think of something.” Caesar rubs the back of his head. He glares at you when you laugh. “In the meantime, stay put.”

“God… okay…” You cover your eyes with your hand.

“You just need to stay calm! He knows you’re smart but guys like him have low opinions of women. Once he sees you falling all over you’re favorite guy like you did last night, he’ll think you’re just like all the rest of the so called ‘weaker sex’” He puts this in air quotes. “He’ll let down his guard.”

“Yeah…” You’re still uneasy, but you’ve started to calm down, rubbing your arm and looking away.

“Trust me… Trust me!” He gives you a firm pat on the shoulder. “Good hustle, MC. Go upstairs and get dressed and meet us for breakfast. Then I’ll have you serve your man!”

[vs-redemption]

Crime is Common. Logic is Rare. (Ch.28)

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Holidays (HawksxGN!Reader)

Plot summary: As a quirk geneticist, you never really imagined yourself getting involved in hero work. Of course, you never imagined catching the eye of a pro hero either. What starts as a great career opportunity turns into a relationship built upon mutual secrets and trust.

Warnings:

⚠️This story contains spoilers from the manga.

⚠️Some events and plot points have been altered from the original manga

Tag List: @gayforkeigo @marshmallow-witch @redflannel @toyo-shiro @elsasshole @astronomyturtle @iambashfulperson @omiwashere

Chapter Guide

You had hoped the holidays would provide another much needed break from the stress of your everyday schedule, but going home for Christmas only ended up being a solid two days of downtime for you to sit and worry about everything going on in your life. Whether the Hero Commission really needed your boyfriend around for the weekend or the villains were subtly punishing you for refusing Dabi’s offer, Hawk ended up being far too busy to return to your hometown with you like you’d originally planned. So, you hopped on a train and made the journey home by yourself.

Visiting with your family was something you normally really looked forward to, but this time you found yourself in the awkward situation of dodging questions about your boyfriend that you yourself didn’t know the answers to, and giving vague replies to their inquiries about what you had been up to in the lab with Dr. Garaki. Your entire life and somehow become confidential, and you wondered if being around the people you loved had really been the smartest choice, especially given the threats Dabi had made the day you met him. The more you thought about it, the more your imagination tortured you with worst case scenarios.

Even stopping by your old lab did not provide a break from the interrogations. Instead of finding work to keep your mind off the troubles waiting for you back in Tokyo, you just ended up on the receiving end of a ton of gossip relating directly to the problems you’d been trying to avoid.

“Looks like all the top hero schools are doing an extra round of internships this year,” your boss says conversationally as you try to sort and put away the newest shipment of research journals she’d ordered. “I suppose with all the fuss about the League of Villains, not to mention the nomus, they’re trying to toughen up the next generation of heroes. It makes sense, but I’m a little surprised since UA has even required their first year students to get provisional licenses. Seems a bit much to me.”

“Yeah, I guess, but UA is known for pushing the envelope with the standards held for its students, you know?” you reply with a shrug. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t exactly the truth either. Hero course students around the country weren’t just training themselves to face more dangerous villains. At the moment, they were being prepped for an outright battle that they had no idea was coming. The general public knew about the League and the nomus, but they had no clue about the Liberation army or the monster quirk guy that the commission was so worried about. Apparently, the current heroes weren’t expected to be enough to handle the magnitude of the threat, so the pressure of securing a victory would fall mostly on the students in the end. It was just another reason for your distaste with the Hero Commission to intensify.

“I noticed Hawks hasn’t been working with any interns this time around though,” Your boss had clearly been keeping a close eye on her favorite hero. Under normal circumstances you wouldn’t mind, but you really didn’t want her digging for information that would put her in danger if she got too close to the truth. “Even Endeavor has been patrolling with three students over the holidays.”

“Unfortunately, his plate has been a little full recently,” you hoped she would be satisfied with that answer. Although it was only natural, it made you feel anxious that she was asking so many questions. All the secrets were piling up and now that a plan for ending all this madness was falling into place, there was even more pressure for you to tread carefully with your actions and words. Even if you weren’t being monitored as carefully as Hawks, there was every possibility that the villains were keeping an eye on you too.

“Well, just as long as you two aren’t fighting or anything,” Your boss hums, eyeing you curiously. “I felt a bit concerned when he didn’t come here with you this time.”

“No, we’re both just busy,” you assure her. Fighting wasn’t the right word, but there had been a lot more intense discussions between you and your hero boyfriend recently. The thing with Dabi had, unfortunately, only been the tip of the iceberg. With the issue of giving up information about Hawks to the league basically resolved, now you were both having disagreements about where you’d be during the massive raid that would be taking place in just a couple of months.

Thanks to Hawks, the Commission knew exactly where the League of Villains and their army were hiding out. And thanks to you, they knew exactly where the high-end nomus were being created and kept. The plan was to attack both locations simultaneously before Shigaraki’s procedure could be completed in order to reduce the amount of damage and casualties in the attack. Even with the element of surprise though, it was sure to be a literal warzone. Hawks had been trying to convince you to take a day off from the lab once the date was set, but as usual you had to deny his request, fearing that you could somehow tip them off about the raid just by calling in. For the plan to work, the villains could absolutely not suspect anything.

Of course, it wasn’t like you wanted to be there when all hell broke loose. Actually, the more you thought about, it the more terrified you were. Any number of things could go wrong, and you had no way to defend yourself if you got caught up in the conflict. It scared you even more knowing that Hawks would not be there to protect you. He would most certainly be assigned to the Villain’s location so that he could play his role with them as long as possible. You would have to rely on the team assigned to the hospital to keep you safe. The only thought giving you any sort of comfort was that, as long as the Commission was able to finalize and prepare their plans in time, both Shigaraki and the nomus should remain in their dormant state until all the fighting was already over.

Thankfully, Hawks was an incredible boyfriend and had somehow managed to arrange to be at your apartment when you finally got home after the holiday was over. You honestly could have cried in relief when you opened the door to find him waiting for you with open arms.

“I missed you,” you sigh while tucking yourself into his chest and wrapping your arms around him tightly.

“I missed you too, love.” He smiles while leaning his cheek on the top of your head. “How’s your family? Do they think I’m the worst for not being there with you?”

“Not at all,” you smile and enjoy the warmth of his embrace for a moment longer. “They’re all fine, but my boss had a few things to say about it though.” Hawks lets out a dry laugh.

“Of course she did.” He didn’t seem to want to let go of you either. You weren’t looking forward to the novel he most likely had written for you to read and catch up on everything that had happened in the few days you’d been gone. When you finally step back and look up at his face, there’s a small smirk on his lips.

“What?” You narrow your eyes suspiciously.

“I may have set a little trap,” he glances up and you follow his eyes to see mistletoe hanging above the doorway. Some of the tension finally leaves you as a laugh escapes your mouth.

“Cheesy,” You shake your head at him. “You know I would’ve kissed you anyway.”

“Maybe, but this seemed like a fun idea anyway.” His smile chased away the last of your worries for a moment and you gladly kiss him back when he presses his lips to yours. The way his hands move to grip your sides and hold you closer hinted that he hadn’t enjoyed the time apart any more than you had. The fact that you only got to see each other for minutes at a time when you both were in town didn’t mean much since there was at least some comfort in knowing you were at least together in the same city.

“Mmm, you’re right.” You say breathlessly after he pulls away. “That was a fun idea.”

“But wait, there’s more!” He says in a bad impression of a TV commercial before chuckling at himself. “I also have a Christmas gift for you.”

“I may have gotten something for you too,” you admit. He takes your hand and leads you into the house so you can sit down. You’re surprised to see he’d put up a few decorations and even bought a small little Christmas tree to put by the window. “You know you didn’t have to do all this, bird-kun.”

He smiles almost shyly while taking a wrapped box from under the tree and handing it to you. “Sure,” he shrugs, “but this is our first holiday together and I felt bad I couldn’t spend more time with you. It only took me a few minutes to set it all up with my feathers anyway. I wish I’d had time to do more.”

“This is perfect,” you pull him down to sit next to you, leaning forward to give him another lingering kiss. “How about using those feathers to get the box on the top shelf of the closet?”

“You got it,” He nods as a couple red feathers shoot from his wings towards your bedroom, coming back just a few seconds later carrying the gift you’d hidden away for him. “This the one?”

“Yeah,” you confirm before looking down at the pretty wrapped box in your lap, wondering what was inside. You were so thankful that Hawks hadn’t bombarded you with too many questions about your trip home, or jumped straight to business with updates on the league. It was nice to come home to a normal life situation and have a few sweet moments as a regular couple celebrating Christmas together. Hopefully, after enduring the next few torturous months, you could have this kind of life full time with Hawks.