#unsure but still scared
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absolutely haunting google maps point of interest. what do they know? do I want to know? do you?
#incessant meowing#there’s no phone number or website#it just says ‘open 24 hours. hours edited by others 1 week ago’#i think it’s part of a gated community too?#unsure but still scared
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The lip of the stage. Arms around each other. Defiant. Scared. Whispering last words to one another.
In all timelines. In all possibilities. Only you.
#iwtv#arcane#claudeleine#madeleine eparvier#claudia#jayvik#jayce talis#viktor#my edits#gif#when forehead touches mean goodbye my love#can't believe either ship didn't kiss tho...#claudia and viktor wanting to fall alone...#and the look of love on madeleine and jayce's faces...#also both claudia and viktor both faced death and incredible hardships and are quite calmer towards what's to come#and yet i love how madeleine and jayce are still the ones reaching out despite how unsure and scared they are#and i couldn't add it but claudia and viktor's faces when seeing their lover joining them in death is so!!!#and the clothes full of ashes vs the hammer desintegrating!!!#anyway that's a thing
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working on some zosan wips and im having trouble deciding which one to prioritize. what do you guys think
#zosan#did you know i love writing gimmick fics#heres some more context:#for A they're still in east blue like right about when baratie happens in canon#and zoro gets imprisoned by germa and meets sanji in a dungeon#it's about being hungry and alone and maybe also religious trauma? havent decided 100%#B is mainly about Zoro pulling adult Sanji's pigtails and not really knowing why until suddenly he does#and he's pissed adult zoro has been too scared to say something (but is that really the case?)#and in C sanji wakes up after getting blackout drunk SURE he heard some juicy secret#but unsure what exactly it was#and he tries to unearth his drunk memories by retracing his steps and finds out about all the embarrassing stuff he did#and ends up reaching the conclusion that Zoro and Nami are secretly dating now (wrong)
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i think . hcing characters who dont have rlly. any canon evidence for it as being plural is fun
#(mostly saying bc a lot of the plural hcs i see r for characters u can kind of have evidence for it? unsure how to word it)#anyways. this is about my plural mirabelle hc. are you listening to me can u hear me#WAH sorry i dont. syspost much (i still. super >_< questioning baby so i get scared)#but! tosses my hc at you#pastell speaks
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What is actually happening 😭 Everyone needs to stop overthinking over whatever it is!
Hey! Brains are m e a n okay?! It has been a crappy few days!! We overthinkers KNOW we need to stop overthinking!! its HARD
#i am much better#but am i still unsure about making sure everything is okay because im scared of shattering the fragile peace and fucking it all up#again?#yes#very much so#but it’s just#very hard okay
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sigh. i think i just do not like dogs very much lol
#just me hi#don't kill me but they are not for me#and i think our dog is alright :) but i am glad he's not mine jfshvh#i'm nervous and unsure about them every time i interact and i don't know why!#tried to tell my mother that at least and she just kinda brushes me off ? so i guess i'll just have to contend with this lol#he's still being trained but i dunno. don't think that kind of animal is for me#which sucks cuz i really did want to like them!! but they're confusing and a bit annoying and a decent sprinkling of scary#and he's a PUPPY. this is the goofiest problem ever jfsvhjfh#+ the dog at work still makes me nervous too.. this is a very Blahhh situation lol#'you've just gotta learn to stop being scared of them' but that Does mean that i have to interact with them more. and it seems#every time i do i just get more nervous ?? urgh#guess i'm not for dogs ! oh wells!#//and in other news why is it that every weekend i do not hesitate to obliterate my sleep schedule Lmfshvjfh#like without Fail it's actually crazy#//OH and it snowed a couple days ago too btw !! like almost a foot of snow i believe which is cool :D#i walked to work and it was fuuuun i enjoyed it :D#though i didn't get a chance to take pictures bc they'd plowed the road by the time i got out </3 it was so cool though !!#//oh also we were playing one of our story games last night w/ siblings :3#it's our longest-running one (it's been ongoing for maybe over a year or so! wild) and the amount of stuff that has Happened is so much Lol#i think last night they helped free half-a-town's worth of people from mine work (the mine turned out to be a crater from a Wish that hadn'#come true so they were mining the tiny shards of the wish-star bc they still have the chance to grant veeery small wishes!) and then also#got the guy that had kidnapped and enslaved them (for ransom + tax reasons) killed “by accident”#/they got into even more arguments with the other characters they're traveling with-#/OH chess also almost strangled one of those guys to death in the mine Lmaooo#there was a whole moment when he realized i was dying jfsvjgh#//yea though i have got to go get some thangs done though..#my dad used all the hot water so i'm just. waiting... stewing.... sauteeing...... gently marinating.............#ooeeoo#yea though !! hope i can work on some ideas i have today !! let's cross hands and hold fingers. wait#anywho Yea i'm gonna get on that 💥 CIAO
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still cannot draw fletcher for the life of me so he is excluded from the group photo, but asides from that, YOUR HONOR I CARE THEMB!!!!!
#got a new brush and went ham w it hehehehe ;scribble scrabble go brr >:3#oc: baylee#oc: claire#spectrum#my art#my ocs#also this is offputting kid x offputting kid solidarity!!!!!#still unsure if this is a duo or a ship; but i can tell yall they go great together hehehe#baylee´s parents meet claire and they´re like ´oh lovely our son made friends with the neighbour´s kid; she seems like a sweet wirl :) ´#*cuts to them trying and failing to catch a roach in a cup to scare their siblings with*#sorry to inform both families; but there are now 2 disaster gremlins bouncing off each other´s chaotic vibes
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"I relate to Bess a lot. I think that she is someone who is super quirky, I'm a very quirky person! Artist really struggles with feeling validationwith her art and they can be incredibly critical of themselves. And I think that Bess is someone that really cares about other people and I think I care a lot about people, too. Her temper is a little quick, for sure. And that was something that was exciting to play because normally, I try not to make anybody uncomfortable. So I think that was fun, to be a little more sharp and and to find that!" - Brittany on Bess(x)
#little voice#little voice apple tv#brittany o'grady#bess alice king#idc what anyone says i love her#and i wish i caught this while it was still on!#she just wants to take care of and protect everyone she cares about and her heart is so big yet she is unsure of what she wants and needs#i just wanna hug her#she's not perfect but my god she's trying#when she told elaine(?) that she's not gonna let louie get hurt i felt that#also her crying with king of the lost boys in the background bROKE me#i saw someone say that her singing voice is like mandy moore's and i definitely hear it#i'm glad she's surrounded by people who will fight for her and with her for her dreams and aspirations(benny priya louie her dad and samuel#because she also fights hard for the people she cares about#''bess the mess'' is sort of true but so is ''best alice QUEEN'' /hj#i guess by me saying that she's unsure of what she wants and it's that she's unsure if she's even worthy of a successful career#and that she's unsure if she's even worthy of her needs being put before other people's so she rejects those things because she's scared#honestly would've wanted louie and benny's roles expanded if we'd gotten a season 2 and we need to find out where dad is#cw: food#i honestly don't know if this'll make sense but her face looks like a cg disney princess's face... like the eye shape face shape and nose?#she's sooo pretty#actually relearning guitar and piano because of this show#i relate to her so much#it's ugly because it's in 720p rip
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crying whenever i talk about Cookie9 because all my friends have these interesting and unique theories on them while i take everything too literally and they all just stare at me like “dude… uuugh we r TIRED” <-they dont actually say this they are very kind to me but i can Feel It
#my version of them is centered around their blog version with the ‘personality’ of their steam review and like a bunch of HC#i developed them with the implication that they��re Real but i’m a bit iffy on it#because all my friends have theories about how they’re from the narrator’s consciousness which is sick as hell#and i’m unsure how to actually structure everything or if i should go the same route so i can get approval from them </3#my friends r the real reviewer fans even though they dont plague themselves over them every day and im so sad that i don’t know anythinggg#gggggggggggg#like im p sure they genuinely hate the stuff i make about cookie9 and im just. scrumbles myself. sorry im Trying :( i’m not smart#or good at writing or even media literate#whatever that term means#all i have is love in my heart for them i don’t know anything at all#ouhghghhg they hate It so much but i cant do anything else and it’s all i have#like all my cookie9 stuff works on the ‘what if their blog self Was Real’ but i’m not actually sure how to fit it all into my actual parabl#stuff because i still havent worked out how my parable itself works#and people probably don’t think i know enough and i don’t think they’ll approve if i try. so i Don’t#tempted to blame this on my like. general crushing lack of intelligence caused by both physical and mental reasons#but i want to believe i could do better if i try? but that’s incredibly hopeful#i’ll be stuck here forever i think#<-guy who. whenever Anything wrong happens ever. just goes back to ‘oh yeah its because im dumb as fuckign rocks. due to the Incidents’#i am very scared of the possibility that it is possible for me to be anything more because that implies that i’m stupid because i didnt try#even though i’m trying very very fucking hard and every time i get something wrong way more than anyone else i’ve ever known#and they hate me for it . MAN!!!!!!!!!#<-brain is lying 2 me i think nobody hates me or . whatever. it still feels like it though im just saying this because i dont want anyone t#think people genuinely hate me for being stupid. i mean. people DO. but not my friends ☝️#man i can’t even get into the buglivia crap either because she is so abstracted from her actual review#girl w identity issues and also the general normal Changing A Lot Through Time. i scrumble her. around#her Self during 2018 would in fact be in character for the review.i want to draw her during that time. she took everything so seriously </3#tbh my version of her does react well to TSP humor but at the time she felt like she wasn’t allowed 2 Do Her Thing and tried to seem#more professional and Normal and it seeped into EVERYTHING for a bit#cookie9 though just genuinely found the narrator annoying and patronizing. its just not his thing and thats fine#<-random nonsensechemical reviewer bits hidden inside the vents. SEND POST.
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4/7/24 - Kawsnow
#day 98#kawsnow#wowzers its almost 100 days#im kinda scared ngl#art#doodle#fanart#nexomon#sketch#colored doodle#ibispaint art#fun fact all kawsnow have a huge craving for yogurt#why? scientists are still unsure of tje reason
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miscellaneous doodles whilst trying to iron out some details in my fic
#head in hands this took me too long to do#AND IM. still unsure of some of ven’s markings#anyways some of these are future doodles some are these are sillies from what my current writing is at#I CANNOOTTTT wait to write them interacting more#bard is actively scared shitless bc of all the siren rumors meanwhile ven is pointing at the shell they gave bard and smiling#you finally accepted my gift for real !!!!!!!!#(<- bard has no idea what this means)#also im not entirely sure if i should be using “leviathan” to describe miss lady time herself (<- she’s a jellyfish siren. btw. HUGE.)#beloveds.#lantern’s art corner#the boy and the whirlpool au#genshin impact
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(looks at the comments of a yuri series) Man yuri fans are fucking braindead (looks at the comments of a yaoi series) Man yaoi fans are fucking braind (looks at the comments of a series that has no romance) Man Story fans are fucking
#dudes who are scared of the word lesbian & go in comments of a yuri series to go She’s my type#versus girls who are still unsure if other girls possess a soul to go in comments to say My gay babies kaoemoji#& both are trashing on a female character. FIGHT!#or to be like Why is the author writing all this unimportant shit Lol (MOST VIVID CHARACTERIZATION IN THE STORY THUS FAR)
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action rpg with low poly customizable character, with whom i can play dress up throughout the game, save me
#summer game fest im looking at you and i am left wanting#this idea's been brewing in my brain for a couple of months i just dont know where to start#low poly models like in signalis or maybe metal gear solid 1 i really dig this washed out graphics style#also there's a customizable companion robot/android too#it's 3rd person far over the shoulder#with looting and crafting mechanics#and it's also a murder mystery (your murder) kinda#and you can romance befriend people or make enemies#i'm still unsure how i'd like for the combat to look bc i want the shooting mechanics i just dont know what could spice it up#hopefully this summer once i move out i'll have time to think on it#maybe i'll leave this post up so i might reblog it with any and all updates in the future#i do need to start with some concepts first but i dont want to touch blender shit scares me#personal#delete later
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migi n dali just keeps getting better. ep 10 was crazyyyyy i was on the edge of my seat the entire time, and if i wasnt it was just so sweet or hilarious. this show is the perfect blend of emotions honestly.
#migi to dali#looooved how they did the twin reveal. they just randomly both show up.#i actually rewinded because i noticed it was migi at the table and then right after dali responded. and i was like. huh. are they switching#rlly fast or something. but no. they were just both there lmaooo#AND MARUTAAAA AAAAGH#karen and maruta was so cute actually.#and i love love love that hes their friend now. they did it so well and believable. like thats just a kid.#i rlly like how the kids are written in this. like even if theyre super genius or whatever. they never actually are#but the other kids think so. theyre smart in the kiddie sense. but their reactions and thoughts are still very childlike#and i think its. so sweet how dali is still scared and unsure of how to move on from all the shit that happened to them#but migi is there for him every step of the way... wah... ;-;#also cannot forget my boy akiyama. always ride n die for his bestie hitori(s)#AND THE BE BIRDS.... so good. love these strange furry children.#cant believe we still have 3 episodes. i feel so blessed#tedpost#tedtalks#next ep we'll finally learn abt metry. so excited.
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Lifeline
From one second to the next everything had faded to darkness with a blinding flash of light. The manic laughter piercing all of his thoughts and his own desperate and panicked screams. The destruction around them and his friends strained faces. Even all his pain and fears. From one moment to the other it was all gone. All that was left was dead silence and a bottomless darkness, into which he sank deeper and deeper. A sea of nothingness that swallowed him.
It was impossible to tell how long he had drifted through this darkness, not thinking and not knowing whether he was still alive or already dead - not caring even - , when a sound reached him. A faint voice, far… far away.
"Please wake up…"
"I can’t loose you too…"
It sounded so familiar. He was certain he knew it but names and faces had turned to such a faded unknowable thing in this blackness. He wasn’t even sure he remembered who he was himself or how he got here. But then there was this sad, familiar voice and he just knew he could trust it. Like his personal lifeline, his beacon of light, it lead his mind out of the darkness, that threatened to drown him.
***
As his eyes slowly fluttered open, his eyelids still feeling so horribly heavy, it was early morning. The sun shone through the window at the other side of the room and it was almost to bright to bear. His whole body felt stiff and sour as if he had been turned stone and was only slowly regaining his ability to move. His mind, as if clouded with fog, tried to make sense of where he was and how he got here.
Carefully he looked around. He remembered this place. It meant a lot to him but it still felt like a name he couldn’t quite remember although it was on the tip of his tongue. Then his eyes fell on a redhaired Miqo’te, asleep at his bedside, face half buried in his arms resting on the edge of the bed. A’viloh.
No!
All at once everything was there again. The fog blown away, unveiling all the horror that had led him here. He started to shake and squeezed his eyes shut. Panicked he tried to guard his thoughts, his feelings as good as he could, but then he realised that he was alone. Not the Miqo’te at his bedside, not in this room. Alone in his head, in his own body. Just himself. The intruder that had tortured him all this time was gone.
He let out a shaky deep breath and returned his gaze to the person sleeping by his side once again. He was alright. He hoped they all were. How had they managed to free him from this presence that had locked him up inside the deepest corner of his own mind? Not unconscious, no. Screaming and struggling, awake enough so he could feel the monster rummaging through every single one of his thoughts and memories, mocking him at every given opportunity. Mostly conscious as well as seeing and hearing but unable to speak up or stop himself. A fate he wouldn’t even wish on his worst enemies. The memory alone made him shiver again.
A’viloh, he realised it had been his voice he had heard, lost in the darkness. How long had the Miqo’te spent here talking to him? And why would he do something like this after all the trouble he had caused? He looked so peaceful like this. A far cry from the last time he remembered seeing his face, bruised and almost defeated. Back then he had feared the shadow controlling him would make his threats true and claw out all of his friends hearts or slowly choke them with his own hands. All he could think back then had been Please, not him too…
But A’viloh was alright. Thank the Twelve. Slowly he raised one of his arms and carefully brushed a strand of long red hair out of his sleeping face. But his shaky hand didn’t yet move as precisely as it used to and so the Miqo’te noticed the slight touch.
His face twitched and slowly he opened his eyes. All of a sudden that peaceful expression was gone. Replaced by an unmistakable deep sadness. Why did he look so sad? Without thinking he raised his hand again and gently caressed the Miqo’te’s cheek. But A’viloh flinched from the unexpected touch and hastily looked up. Accompanied by a sharp inhale of breath his slitted pupils dilated as his eyes fixed on the other one‘s face and his mind visibly raced to make sense of what he saw.
"Thancred…?", he whispered almost inaudibly with confusion written all over his face. There was an uncertainty to his voice Thancred couldn’t assess yet.
"Please don’t tell me you expected someone else…", he joked and tried to sit up. It was a mean joke, even to his own ears. But joking was his natural reaction when he didn’t know what else to say or when he was too scared to speak aloud how he truly felt.
A’viloh gasped. It was not quite a laugh but his mouth twitched into a bright smile for a second. "Thancred!", he repeated slightly louder as his eyes filled with tears. "You're awake!" Quickly he jumped up and threw his arms around the hyurs neck. His chair flew to the floor with a loud clattering sound that echoed back from the stone walls of the room. Thancred could feel the Miqo’te tremble and also the tears on his cheek as it brushed his own skin for a moment. "I thought I lost you..."
Suddenly A‘viloh gasped again and jumped back just as fast as he had thrown himself at him mere seconds before. He looked surprised by his own words, maybe he hadn’t meant to say that out loud. His face turned red and embarrassed he looked away. "I’m sorry…"
Oh no!, Thancred thought. Not him! That’s a horrible idea.
During his training he had learned to read people as if they were books. Just that books always had seemed boring to him in comparison. It was a useful skill for a spy to be able to see through his opponents, to be able to tell when they were lying or hiding something. But if A’viloh was trying to hide anything he didn’t do it very well…
It was a horrible decision to fall in love with Thancred Waters. A fact the Hyur suddenly got painfully aware of. People occasionally did that. Sometimes he wanted them to, if it was for a job and for example there was an information he needed. Sometimes it just happened without him planning to. On rare occasions he even felt bad about it, because all of them so far had ended up sad and disappointed. Because in the end he never had returned their feelings.
For some reason it bothered him that easily flustered, involuntarily funny, kind-hearted A’viloh might share this fate. He didn’t deserve that. The Miqo’te had helped save him, when it would have been easier to just kill him for sure. He had already endured enough because of Thancred’s mistakes, since people around him had the tendency to get hurt. But most importantly he considered him a friend.
For a short moment, back before the Ascian had hijacked his body, the idea had seemed interesting to Thancred. The Miqo’te’s shy and easily embarrassed nature had undeniably seemed cute to him, a strange contrast to the strength he possessed but didn’t seem aware of, and in a moment of selfishness Thancred had found himself offering an invitation with questionable intentions. But fate had different plans. It wouldn’t have been fair. Because he certainly would have ended up breaking the poor guys heart. Somehow that idea scared him.
Speechlessly Thancred stared at him, trying to find the right words. To convince him not to make such a grave mistake. And equally speechless A’viloh avoided his gaze. He already had said too much.
For a moment no one dared to speak.
Then another familiar voice sounded from the hallway.
"A’vi? Is everything alright? I heard a noise that sounded like something had --", Rael appeared in the doorframe and instantly fell silent as they saw Thancred sitting upright and awake in his bed. For a split second the Viera’s eyes wandered to dumbstruck A’viloh before returning to him, a polite smile forming on their face, which the hyur easily recognised as nothing more than that, a studied politeness.
"Thancred. You’re awake.", they observed calmly. "How are you feeling?"
Before he could answer, the Miqo’te regained his voice. "I’m sorry…", A’viloh repeated and then wordlessly left the room in bit too much of a hurry to not look strange.
For a second they both stared after him. Then Rael sighed and shook their head. "I will get Y’shtola or Urianger if that’s alright with you…"
"Of course.", Thancred nodded and Rael left as quickly as they had appeared.
The room felt very silent and empty all of the sudden. It would take a while to get used to being alone with his thoughts again. But as he sat there wondering how to fix this situation with A’viloh he could vividly imagine that spiteful, mocking voice again.
Good job, lover boy. Look at what you’ve done…
#ffxiv#ff14#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy 14#ffxiv writing#ff14 screenshots#ffxiv screenshots#ffxiv gpose#gpose#Aviloh Tia#Thancred Waters#rael hyskaris#I know I said I wasn’t sure if I would write this but here it is...#it was a sudden idea and I had to write it down or I would have forgotten over night!#Still unsure if the perspective change is the brilliant idea I thought it would be last night or not :D#I don’t plan to use this PoV regularly! This is just an exception to give an insight into what’s bothering Thancred maybe...#In my understanding of the story he obviously always had a certain reputation…#but still I think with the drinking and everything there has to be a reason he escalated like that in the ARR patches…#Or is it just me thinking that he seemed WORSE there?#I like to imagine that it was difficult to come back from what I unlovingly decided to call the Lahabrea-Experience™…#and then there’s A‘vi too who he for some reason doesn’t want to hurt but decides to still do so to drive him away maybe???#yeah for… some reason… sure! :D#at least some days he tries to scare him away and on others he is selfish and weak and does nice things like buying him birthday presents…#you’re sending mixed signals buddy! :D#but he mirrors A‘vi‘s fear of seeing the people around him hurt and kind of blaming himself for it…#bottom line: both of them are confused idiots and what the hell are feelings anyway??? ;D#ARR
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as much as i'd like to see forcebook play their ages, i don't really mind them playing 18-22 year olds because i can easily forgive a lot of shitty behavior in that age group. it's a really rough time in your life, often your first time out on your own, when you might not quite grasp how dire the consequences of your actions can be because you won't "get in trouble." when you're graduating from Teenhood, there's sometimes a learning curve with "my parents ragged on me about X just because they're parents" to "oh they actually did know better i shouldn't do that shit" - sometimes you have to learn that on your own. add alcohol, the pressure of college, shifting identities, etc., it's a good recipe for some nice 'n' easy character development.
#characters like arc are exactly the kind who scratch the itch in my brain#local grumpy dumbass finds out actions have consequences and you have to be nice for people to like you#you know if he were in his thirties i'd be like what HAPPENED to you there must be an explanation for why you can't function properly#but at 20 i'm like oh you haven't ironed out the kinks in your personality yet and haven't figured out how to relate to people#and what your place is in the world#ptl liveblog#it's the same with theo like. grieving. lonely. scared. language/cultural barriers. hopelessly in love and unsure if it's reciprocated.#AND EIGHTEEN#like woof#mew? his two closest friends are assholes his first love slept with one of them he has this HUGE project that may fail bc of it all#and he may not graduate if it doesn't work AND HE'S TWENTY-TWO#of COURSE he loses his mind and tries to cling to anything he can: the wrong guy. drugs. alcohol. revenge.#(as i was writing this all out and i was thinking oh should i write something about top or akk)#(and 1. besides aprilcheum top is the most Hinged character on the show)#(and akk i am realizing i struggle with not just because he's underdeveloped)#(which he is don't fight me on this)#(but because i was like him when i was 18 and i still haven't forgiven myself for the ways in which i acted like him at that age lol)#(so he frustrates me a lot)#ANYWAY ANOTHER TANGENT......#i had a weird weekend guys i'm stressed out idk i just want to yap
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