#unstiffen

[innervoiceartblog]

Unstiffen your supple body.

Unchatter your quiet mind.

Unfreeze your fiery heart.

~ Celeste West

[sadlazzle]

i literally cannot open my mouth wide enough 2 brush my teeth rn. that is bothering me

[divinesolas]

Deja Vu | Pt. 1

s.m: You are falling to your death. Your final wish is to be able to go back and stop the war. It seems the gods have granted your wish and you open your eyes to be back to the fateful day before of lucerys trial months before your 'death'. You must do everything in your power to prevent the war even if the only way is to find herself in the arms of the one man she hates most, Aemond Targaryen.

w.c: 8.6k

c.w: minor spoilers for the later seasons of hotd, putting anything else here would be spoilers. but theres nothing too crazy don't worry. NOT PROOFREAD theres smut i promise for the freaks out there.

a.n: this is literally just two freaks trying to see if they can match each others freak, enjoy !

masterlist - part two

d.t ml @venmondiese

You’re falling. How long have you been falling? They say when you die you see your whole life flash in front of your eyes but all you see is the grey sky above you.

You are going to die.

You expect to be more scared. You should be screaming, crying, yelling for help. But as you fall through the skies the one thing you feel is regret. As you watch your dragon be chomped up by vhagar, the way your body burns after being lit on fire, you just saw your brother be knocked off his own dragon into the sea.

Whoever is listening to me now. I will beg of you. If i can only ask for one thing, i wish to go back. To stop this all from happening. To prevent the war. Please. This is all i wish. If in death i only wish to remember the good. Please.

You allow yourself to close your eyes. You shall meet the stranger soon. You expect it to hurt once you hit the ground, yet it does not.

Instead your eyes burst open with a jump and you take many a deep breath.

“Are you alright dear?” You look in front of you with alarm. Your mother and your step father look at you worriedly. What in the hells is happening?

You were just in battle. You look down at your outfit and realize you are wearing the same outfit you had been wearing to the keep when you arrived for Lucerys trial. You look back up and notice your parents also appear to be wearing the same outfits as that fateful day. You were sitting in the same carriage, the same familiar bumps in the road.

Were you replaying your life as some had claimed? But it felt too real. “Sweetheart?” your mother reaches forward. as best she can as viserys sits on her lap, and grabs your hand, “Bad dream?” Maybe it had been all such a terrible terrible dream. “Yes, I'm sorry mother.” She squeezes your hand before letting go, going back go bouncing viserys on her leg.

You lean back and take a couple deep breaths. It was simply a terrible dream. But when you turn to your right you gasp, “Lucerys.” He looks at you with wide eyes, “Are you well sister?”

You cant help but hug him, turning your body towards him so he is practically sitting in your lap, shoving your head into his neck, filling his pulse race against your forehead. “Sister? What are you doing? ow this is uncomfortable!” You ignore his whines as your eyes build up with tears. Months, you have gone months without seeing him, hearing his voice, smelling him, feeling his pulse, you missed him. You missed him so much. “Are you crying?” your tears had begun to drip down his neck and soak into the neck of tunic.

“I had a terrible dream.” You rush out as you sob. Because that's all it was. An awful dream. You feel Lucerys unstiffen as he relaxes in your touch, allowing himself to get comfortable in your lap as it grows clear to him you have no intention of letting him go. you hear him whisper to you “I am alright sister, i promise.”

You say nothing in return, just allowing yourself to listen to his breaths. It is almost as if it was real, him truly dead. You try to ignore the churning of your stomach as he begins to play with the ends of your hair, his head soon drops to your shoulder and you hear his breath relaxing. He’s sleeping. You slowly turn yourself to be facing forward, his head falls into your shoulder as he begins to softly snore. You rub your hands up and down his back as you finally rid yourself of your tears.

“Was your dream truly so horrid sister?” You turn to your left and there sits Jacaerys, next to him sits Joffrey who was fast asleep. You try to ignore the flashing images of arrows pelted into his skill that appear in your mind when you see his face. You reach your hand up and touch his face, your hand lays on his cheek as he blinks at you. “So horrible.” He grabs your hand from his cheek and laces your fingers with his.

“It was just a dream dear sister. Do not fret.”

Yes. That's all it had been. A really awful terrible dream.

Yet it gets harder to deny it was in fact all just a dream as the sequence of events play out exactly the same as they had. How your mother had been greeted at the gate, how your parents told you and the boys to entertain yourselves while they went to go meet with viserys. Even the walk to the courtyard was the exact same save for the way you clung to Lucerys which he was more than happy to let you, as he had his own nerves about being back in the keep.

This was so strange. You watch as Jacaerys eagerly approaches the swords, the way Lucerys looks around anxiously, the way Joffrey trails at your other side. You felt sick.

Your stomach drops, as you think about what you had been praying for. Were the gods truly giving you another chance? To fix this? But how would you even fix this? You know you cannot let it happen as you feel Lucerys tightly grip your hand. You have to do everything in your power to make sure he stays safe, to make sure they all stay safe.

But how would you even go about such a thing? The family is basically beyond repair. You know of what will occur, if you can’t figure this out. You try to come up with anything.

Suddenly you hear the clanging of swords and you whip around. As much as you hate to admit it an idea pops in your head. No. This can’t be it. There must be something else you can do. Not him. definitely not him. Yet you find yourself getting pulled along by Lucerys to watch the fight.

He truly is such a skilled swordsman, you would know you’ve seen him in the fields, even having gone head to head for a moment before you fled. You can barely pay attention to the fight. This is it. If you’re really going through with this you would need to start right here right now. You must be able to come up with something else right? There is no way this is the only option.

“Nephews, have you come to train?”

Your mind comes up blank. You feel Lucerys move to hide behind you as Jacaerys takes a step back.

His eye finally moves to you, “Niece.”

You have no other choice.

You let go of Lucerys and take a step towards him, you put on your best smitten look and smile at him. “Uncle, its been too long.”

You must be bold, you must do anything for your family.

You offer him your hand, it hands in the air for a moment and you fear he will simply brush you off. You’re sure your brother are staring at you confused but you can’t be bothered to care as an amused look graces Aemond’s face and he tilts his head.

He grabs your hand and brings it up and his head far down enough to lay a kiss on the back of you hand. You let the smile on your face grow no matter how much you wish to spit at him.

“You have grown into a beautiful lady dear niece.”

You bring one of your hands to cover your mouth as you look down at the ground. You feel Lucerys tug at the back of your dress but you cannot give up.

“and you have grown into a fine prince dear uncle.”

The sudden marching through the hall should not startle you the way it does. Maybe you had just been so lost in your act you could not remember when it had happened. You watch with blank eyes as Vaemond stares you down, you doubt his fate will change and he no longer scares you the way he once had.

You turn back towards Aemond and see he is already look at you. You smile at him before you turn you back to your brothers. “If you wish to go you can, i wish to stay here.” Jacaerys looks at you with worry, “Truly?” You remember you had all quickly fled to your rooms after seeing Vaemond and you knew he would soon suggest you all head back. yet you can’t go not now, not when you must make this believable.

You nod eagerly and they hesitate, especially Lucerys who truly does not want you to leave but you urge them too, it would not go as well if they were here.

“Shooing off your nephews dear niece? how disappointing.” Aemond finally speaks as you watch them quickly walk away not before sparing you once last glance before they turn the corner.

You hate to admit you think he is handsome. Probably the most handsome man in the realm. When you look at him he has a smirk on his face. “Would it be scandalous to say i wish to just spend some time with you my prince?” He raises his eye brows and a look of surprise crosses his face before it drops back to his more stoic look. He takes another step towards you and the smirk graces his face once more as you bashfully look away from him. “You truly wish to?” No. definitely not. “What if i said i did?” You whisper towards him.

He looks like he about to say something else before a voice cuts in behind him. “The prince still has training to do. He best not be faced with any,” Criston looks at you with a glare which leads you to try to hold back you eye roll, “Unfortunate distractions y/n”

You open your mouth to say something, you are unable to stop yourself, wishing to spit some vile insults at him but Aemond speaks before you can. “It is princess to you ser Cole, best not forget yourself.”

You can’t help the smile that grows on your face and the warmness that spreads though your chest. No. You should not be feeling like this. He simply did it as he knows it is rude to not address you correctly, you know it would certainly make him mad.

It amuses you the way criston bites his tongue and mummers to himself for a moment before speaking again. “My apologies princess.” You nod, not wishing to fight with him as of now. “But the training yard is not a place for, you, it would be best if you left.”

You still think he is talking to you inappropriately but you will not say anything to him for now as you simply turn back to Aemond. “I suppose i shall leave, but will you take long? I wish for someone to show me around the gardens, if you would of course.”

You fold your hands behind your back as you stand up tall, You can not faulter. It would be good to get away for a moment, as you have a request you must make. criston speaks before Aemond does, “I will request a guard for the princess-” “I shall not be too long, though i would hate to make you wait.”

You shake your head a begin to walk backward, the smile on your face growing “I will wait as long as it takes dear uncle, please come fetch me i shall be in the library.” You turn before either of them could say anything else and hurriedly walk up the steps and out of view.

Once you are far enough away from the room you lean against the wall and take a couple deep breaths. You feel sick but you can’t help the way your heart races as you think of the interaction.

Was he always so, charming? Well the last time you had met you had been children. Until the rest of your brothers and step sisters you did not see him on driftmark as you had been bed ridden with a fever during the service and your mother thought you too unwell to travel. You had no clue what happened and you had no clue that would be the last couple moments you spent in the keep as you woke up one day on dragonstone, apparently having been taken while you were asleep.

He was always a meek kid, you being a couple years his senior, never really spent that much time with him. You remember seeing him getting picked on and you would scold your two younger brothers and send an apology to him but beyond that there was nothing too it. He was certainly a grown man now.

No. You shake your head to yourself and slap your cheeks. What were you thinking? This is the man who murdered your little brother. Who slaughtered house strong. You could not be thinking this this. It does not matter. You no matter how much you despised him had to get this done. You do not walk towards the library. Instead you walk far up the stairs until you are stopped by some guards.

“I would like to speak to my grandsire, is he free?”

“The hand should take care of any concerns you have.”

“I am first born daughter of his first born daughter Rhaenyra Targaryen you will allow me entry if he is free.”

You cross your arms and stare at the guards who look at each other before they allow you entry to the room. You have not seen him in years you doubt he even knows who you are. So when you hesitantly enter the room and come into his view you try not to gag at the sight of him. You had forgotten how close to death he looked, it know being clear to you he was on his death bad, basically standing at the strangers doorstep.

“Aemma?” You whine and walk closer to him. “No grandsire it is me, y/n. Rhaenyra’s daughter.”

He is silent for a moment before he lets out an ah and a smile graces his face, allow you to grab his hands and sit on the bed next to him. “Yes yes y/n, my dear its been so long. too long.” You nod and smile as best you can at him. “Yes grandsire i have missed you.” He agrees and squeezes your hands.

“There is a proposal I’d like to ask you of.” You hesitate, this is really it. You have no clue if this is even going to work. But you have to try, even if it kills you you must try. “I am sure you could see how our family has been divided as of late,” You know exactly how to pull at him, how to get him to agree, remembering his speech from the fateful dinner that will probably occur tomorrow. “I hate it. I wish for us to be a family together. Which is why i must tell you. I have been in love with Aemond since i was a young girl. He is the man for me grandsire i am sure of it. So i must ask for your blessing in our union, to grant me my one true wish. To make our family whole.”

You are proud of yourself that you do not throw up. You are sick. You cannot believe you are even asking this. But you have to, you see no other path forward. If you can convince him to be on your side and stop this maybe it could all be prevented. You could be a fool walking into a lions den but it does not matter, you have to try.

“Yes yes that is all i wish for yes you shall marry him. oh the wedding will be beautiful, and we will be all together.” You do not have the heart to tell him he will probably not make it to the wedding. instead just smiling brightly and thanking him, squeezing his hand tightly. “Oh thank you grandsire this makes me so happy.” He nods eagerly before he begins to cough, telling you he needs some rest but as you walk away you can see him fall asleep with a smile on his face.

You are going to be sick. You are going to marry him. If you live long enough to marry him, if he does not kill you first. You try to hide the fact that your hands are shaking so badly and you stumble slightly as you walk as you make your way to the library. You know him to be a ruthless man. A Kinslayer. And now you were going to marry him. You were totally screwed.

You are unable to sit still in your seat, constantly rocking back and forth or tapping you hand and feet as you wait for him. He has no clue you’re sure. and your hopeful your grandsire will tell no one definitely not Alicent or most certainly not otto. You should have said something about it before you left but there is no point on dwelling on it now. as you try to relax in your seat.

“You are truly waiting for me.” You sit up out of your seat and turn to him in alarm. He had changed into more a more formal dark green outfit.

“of course uncle, i was truthful when i said i would wait for you.” You can’t read him. He does not speak for a moment, keeping his gaze stuck onto you, looking you up and down. You feel like he is analyzing you, trying to catch even the most minor slip up from you. Like he can tell you are trying to trick him. You can’t have him thinking like that, so you eagerly walk to his side and smile as sweetly as you can at him.

“I apologize if i interrupted your busy schedule uncle.” He smirks and shakes his head, offering you his arm, “Do your brothers know you are here?”

You shake your head and look at the ground. You do not get to see the pleased look that finds its way one his face until he grabs your chin and lifts your head up to look at him, taking a step closer. You feel your chest tighten. You do not understand why you feel this way, why his stare and the simply tilt of his head as your breath quickening. “How curious.”

He drops your chin quickly and acts as if nothing had just happened, offering you his arm. “You said you wished to see the gardens yes? They have grown rather nicely in your absence.” You hesitate for a moment as he raises his eyebrows with a smirk at your hesitance. You certainly cannot faulter now. you cant let him catch on to you, you can tell he has his suspicions.

You eagerly grab onto his arm and take a deep breath, accidently allowing yourself to be consumed by his addicting scent. You cannot stop the delighted hum that escapes you and your gasp covering your mouth. You are humiliated. You turn your head towards him and notice a different look on his face as he stares at you. He says nothing, simply letting out a hum before speaking, turning his head away from you. “We should head out now, the garden is lovely in the afternoon.”

You are glad he says nothing and simply nod and he begins to lead you out of the library and towards the courtyard. You attempt to ignore the stares and whispers of the maids and other ladies in the hallway as the two of you walk. You’re sure word will spread of the two of you walking arm and arm together, you are already dreading the talking to you’ll probably get from your brothers, your mother and especially daemon.

You cannot think about that now. Not as you finally arrive in the garden and simply begin to stroll through the large hedges of grass.

“I wish to know how you’ve been fairing uncle,” You stop for a moment pressing your free hand against his elbow in your laced arm, “I am embarrassed to say.” You bashfully look away, as if you do not wish to say it.

You are shocked you are able to act so well. Or at least you hope you are. You have to get him to believe you, you hope he is at least slightly convincing by your performance.

Your hopes are somewhat confirmed when his arm grips onto tight and looks your way, “You should talk freely with me my sweet niece.”

You blush at his words, unable to control the heat that flows up to your face. You are only happy he seems to be convinced, yes that is it.

“I have missed you.”

He turns you to face him and your breath stops. You two are chest to chest and he’s staring at you with dark eyes. You can feel his breath fanning on your face as you try to ignore the pounding of your heart at your proximity.

“You should not say such things to just anyone my sweet. Some men will not be as kind as i am after you say such things.”

my sweet.

You attempt to pull out of his arms but he keeps you there firmly. Staring you down as if he was a predator looking at his prey, you can’t help but whine quietly and you hear him hum, his grip tightens on you before he lets go. Taking a step back and coughing into his fist.

“I apologize, i lost myself.”

You can’t do anything but nod. Breathing heavily as if its the first time you can breath in years. You grip onto the spot where your heart is and grip the fabric tightly as your heart beats louder than it ever has. He looks at as stoic as he always does while you must look like a disheveled lady who just got caught in a scandal.

You basically were, feeling so caught by aemond who simply stares at you, his eye never leaving your face as he watches your every movement.

He opens his mouth to say something before a scared maid comes approaching you two, “my prince-” “What is it.” He spits at her, his face leaving yours angrily as he stares at the girl. The poor girl is practically shaking, she bows, “I am so sorry my prince but, the queen has requested your presence.”

His face drops as he straightens up at the mention of his mother. You suddenly notice the eyes you feel staring at you. It gives you a chill which runs down your spine, you look around the gardens for anything and notice nobody other than the maid and of course aemond. Then where are those eyes coming from?

“Of course, tell her i shall be there shortly.” “she requested i walk you to her immediately my prince.” You suddenly turn around and look upwards and you see two pairs of eyes staring right at you. Otto and alicent. How long had they been watching you? Had they seen what just happened between you and aemond? Not that anything had happened. No definitely not. Just two people talking.

“Of course.” You turn back to aemond and give him a nervous smile. He notices the look on your face and tilts his head as he looks at where you had just been looking. He tsks and turns his head away, you swear you see him roll his eye as he huffs. He looks back to you and grabs your hands, you try to pull them out of his grasp, your head flicking behind you, worrying they will see but he keeps you tightly in his grip.

“I am sorry to leave you, i shall see you dear niece.” He pulls your hands to his face and leaves a kiss on the backs of your hands before he drops them and walks off, not even waiting for the maid to follow after him. The maid quickly bows to you before hurriedly running off after aemond. You look back up and notice that the two of them are gone, you let out a sigh of relief praying they had left before they saw any of that.

Maybe you should be hoping they had. Then your act would be more believable. You never thought this would turn out like this. Maybe he just believed you far too much and was no acting on it. You wish you felt a sickness in your stomach, you want to hate him. He killed lucerys. You should hate him, you have hated him these last couple months. Nothing has changed, you do hate him. Do you?

You stand in the garden for a while your mind running a mile a minute. Are you getting so into your act that you're truly starting to believe it?

No. Enough of these foolish thoughts. You hastily move out of the garden, you should just head back to your room and sleep. Its late afternoon, you fake fatigue from your travels to avoid talking to your parents and brothers and lay down on your bed after a quick bath.

You stare up at the ceiling as the thoughts from today come spinning back up. Will this really work? Will this even be able to prevent anything? or are you just doing this for your own selfish gain? No. This absolutely had to work. You could not bare to go through what you had months ago, you still do not even know if anything is even real.

You try not to let your mind spiral and descended into madness as the sky turns from light to dark, skipping dinner. it’s not good to think about answers you will not receive until you see it for yourself. You should just try to sleep, but the way you are tossing and turning your eyes not even fluttering closed you fear you will not sleep a wink tonight.

Suddenly you hear soft knocks laid on your wooden door and you shoot up. For a second you think it may be aemond, you knew of aegons more horrendous personality maybe aemond is of the same mind and wishes to claim something from you? No, aemond is certainly not as depraved as him, you had known he took a mistress during the war, that witch, but if the rumors were true she was the only woman he laid with.

You open the door and let out a sigh. “lucerys.” You do not know if what you feel is relief or disappointment. Why would you feel disappointment? You watch as your brother attempts to smile at you before he looks meekly at the ground. “Can i, can i sleep with you sister? i cannot sleep.” Your heart aches at the sight of him, he had not come to you last time, had he felt the same way and could not sleep but felt like he couldn't come to you? was your over display of affection for him today the thing that gave him the confidence?

“of course you can.” You open your door wide enough and allow him to pass by you where he hurriedly scurried in and flops himself onto your bed. You smile at him as you walk over and lay down beside him. He smiles softly at you and lets out a quiet thank you as you begin to stroke his hair. “Are you alright?”

His face drops and he takes a deep breath, “i am scared. Why do they question us so? I wish we looked more like ser laenor and less like ser harwin then they would not question us, then we would be able to stay at dragonstone together, instead of being here.” Your heart begins to ache, you continue to stroke his hair.

You know of his doubts, his worries, and you wish you could do more to sate is worries. You know the trial will go fine tomorrow, knowing viserys will come to defend his heir, but he has no clue of that. Nor should you but you do.

“Everything will work out luce i promise. Leave it to mother to worry about.” “But i do not wish for her to worry. I wish i could do more for her. Maybe i should not be named heir to driftmark.” You sit up causing him to look at you alarmed. “Lucerys velaryon do not say such things. You are a wonderful boy who shall grow up to be the most honorable man, you should not speak down on yourself.” You cross your arms as your heart tries to be ripped from your chest as you remember. If you do not succeed he will probably be killed, by the man you are trying to court.

This whole thing was ridiculous.

He seems content with what you said and simply smiles at you, his eyes droopy with sleep. “Thank you sister.” You continue to comb his hair with your fingers as he’s lulled to sleep. You press a kiss against his forehead and allow him to press himself into your side.

You can’t allow anything to happen to him. You cannot allow yourself to be swayed by aemond’s charisma. He killed your brother. He was heartless and ruthless, a kinslayer. You cannot be swayed. he does not make your heart thump and have your breath racing.

You almost allow yourself to fall asleep before heavy banging on your door jolts you and lucerys up. You two look at each before looking back the door. “Who could be here this late?” No. He was not here was he? Another set of banging hits the door and you gulp.

There was no way right? You freeze as your hand hits the handle. What would you say if it was him? What would you tell lucerys? What would he do if aemond do if he saw lucerys? What would lucerys do if he saw aemond? you know the two will meet eventually, which did not go well at all, so what if its truly him?

You grab the handle and pull it. Letting out a huge sigh of relief as he storms past you. “You were not at dinner.”

He turns to you his arms crossed, your brother crosses his arms at you in the middle of the room. Baela and rhaena follow into the room, closing the door behind them. “I have been tired all day brother, i wished to rest.”

“You were not tired when you were walking around in aemonds arm rather cozy.” you ignore him, greeting you sister baela and smiles and gives you a warm hug before stepping and crossing her arms at you too. “Not you too.”

“What could you possibly have been doing with aemond?” You sigh and walk back to the bed, sitting on the edge. “I do not know what you wish me to say.” “I wish for you to explain to me why you were with him.”

You sigh and throw your hands up. “I simply wished to see him.” “You wished to see him? are you mad?” “Is that so wrong?” “Yes!”

You flop down on your bed and sigh. You feel the bed bend down next to you and see you jacaerys face staring at you. “you are acting strange sister, i simply am worrying for you.”

“it is so wrong i wish to bond with my other family members.” “They are not like us you know that sister.” You sit up and stare at them. You wish you didn't have to do things like this. You wish you did not have to do this. You wish you did not have to see the look of hurt on rhaena’s face or baela’s glare, or jacaerys anger or even lucerys confusion.

But you cannot give up now. Standing up to glare at the four of them and cross your arms. Your voice tight with anger. “I do not excuse what happened between you all on driftmark if anything i hate him for it. but you will not understand, i simply wish to spend some time with my other family. We should all want to mend what has been broken, bury old hatched and build, if not a loving family relationship, then atleast a civil one. I am sorry that i am the first person to realize that it is no good it would do no good for blood to be bad between is, not for us, not for rhaenyra. or her claim. We as family must have each other's back. and if we are not at least civil with these people they will never support us.”

The four of them are silent and you let out a huff as you fall onto your bed and close your eyes. “If you wish to hover and argue with me you may but you will be arguing with a wall. I know i am right and i will be sleeping. You are free to talk amongst yourselves.”

You roll over and keep your back to them. You feel lucerys get off the bed and you assume the four of them have huddled in a corner, whispering to each other. They would not understand. What you are doing for them. They would not even believe you if you tried. Though you hope your story is believe able enough.

You try to sleep. Though you are unable to knowing they are lingering not too far away from you. You feel movement around you and the door opens, footsteps trailing out before it softly closes. A part of you fears you might have scared lucerys off. but when the bed dips next to you you feel relief. “Can i still sleep here sister?” You turn around and look at his nervous gaze and nod, grabbing his cheek and smiling at him. “of course you can stay.” He smiles and lays down at your side, allowing you to wrap your arms around him.

You don’t fall asleep for a while. Simply staring up at the ceiling and feeling lucerys shuffle around in your arms every once in a while. You pray and pray that tomorrow afternoon will go exactly as it had the first time. And for the dinner. You would have to get a lot more creative to try and figure out how to prevent that.

It is now morning and you had been planning on walking to jacaerys room after breakfast before you are suddenly stopped. “Good morning.”

“Good morning my queen.” You bow and attempt to bite your tongue as she gives you what you know now to be a clearly fake smile. “How have you been faring? it has been a long time since we’ve spoken.” “I have been well, as all my family has been, my queen.” She nods and folds her hands behind her back. “I wish for you to walk with me for a few moments.”

It is not a request. She is telling you. So you nod and she walks, not even looking to see if you are following though you are. You know what she wishes to ask. Though you pray your grandsire has not mentioned the proposal to her and she simply wishes to ask what you had been doing with aemond. Not that you would have an explanation for that either.

“I have just been wondering something. if you would clear my head.” The sound of metal clanging behind you would startle you if you did not know criston trailed behind alicent like a damn dog. He should make it less obvious that he is glaring at the back of your head.

Please do not ask about the proposal please do not ask about the proposal,

“I had seen you with aemond in the gardens yesterday, thats curious is it not?” You try to hide the shaky breath of relief you let out. You simply hum , “it is not so curious. We are family after all.”

You act like you do not near the mumbling of ser cole behind you. Something suddenly click to you, he was probably the one who told alicent of your outing with aemond and you grow irritated.

Alicent merely huns though you know there is more she wishes to say. You are silent as she attempt to gather her words properly. You do not even glance at either of them, keeping your gaze forward. Its odd, despite the fact you should be more stressed out talking with the queen you feel more at ease then you were with aemond.

“I suppose you’re right. Its simply been a long time since you’ve been in the keep.” “Exactly the more reason i would wish to spend the afternoon with him. It is rather a shame our time was cut short.”

You don’t get to see the way her eye twitches and the way criston rolls his eyes but you can assume so. “Yes. I am sorry i had to pull him away for somethings..” You can hear how her words are not sincere but you decide maybe you can make her feel bad.

You turn to her with mock shame in your face, “Oh gods i had no clue it was you who pulled him away, i am so sorry i would not have complained if i had known it was you.” She turns to you and has a look of embarrassment on her face, “It is no issue truly, do not fret.”

You smile at her and she gives you a weak clearly forced one back before you turn back forward. It’s fun messing with them.

“My queen.” She quickly turns around where a guard was standing, “Your presence is required in the council room your grace.” She nods before she turns back to you.

“Good day princess.” “Good day my queen.” She scruries off without another glance but ser cole spares you a glare before he trails after her. You sigh and roll your neck out before walking back to your own room, no longer having any interest in speaking to anyone. It would probably be best to have some alone time before the trial anyways.

The trial goes exactly as expected thankfully. Viserys walks up exactly as before, rhaenys says jacaerys and baela and rhaena and lucerys will marry, daemon cuts off vaemonds head. All the exactly the same. It gives you erriry feeling, now you are so sure you have been transported in the past. You keep lucerys hand tightly in yours during the trial though you knew how it would go, allowing him to lean against you in relief afterwards.

The only difference is you can’t help but find yourself glancing at aemond throughout it all. His eyes drift to you as well numerous times, a small smirk finds itself on his face every time you lock eyes. You look away bashfully every time but you always find yourself looking back to him.

You quickly rush out the room after everyone had been dismissed, hoping to avoid everyone. You find yourself in the garden once more, finding a secluded bench and sitting down. Leaning your head back and letting the sun hit your face.

You allow yourself to relax, listening to the sound of the wind and the bugs, breathing in the scent of flowers and grass, enjoying the way the sun and the wind hits you. You don’t know how long you’re lying there. Not until you finally decide to open your eyes and stretch.

You turn to your left and let out a shriek. “Aemond!” He has an amused look on his face as you cover your racing heart with your hands. “I did not mean to startle you my sweet.”

You turn away from him and readjust yourself to be sitting upright, keeping your gaze forward. You merely hum in acknowledgment, not trusting yourself to speak. The nickname. Maybe it has just slipped his mind to add niece at the end of it.

“I merely wanted to see you” You look to him and see the amused look on his face. You still cannot tell if he’s genuine or not, he keeps his emotions completely in check, only allowing you to see what he wishes you to.

You smile, putting on a sweet face as you bravely scoot towards him. “I an happy to hear that uncle.” He hums, continuing to watch you. You squirm under his gaze and cough into your hand due to nerves.

Why do you seem to be enjoying yourself? Why do you like his eyes on you? You hate him. He killed your brother for gods sake. He didn't in this timeline you suppose. No. Why are you trying to rationalize this with yourself? You had just sworn you would not be pulled in by him.

Yet when he leans forward and gazes into your eyes you find your mind turning into putty. “What have you been up to these past few years my sweet? i fear we did not get to talking much today during our time together due to,,,”

He trails off, looking away almost bashfully as if he is embarrassed about what had happened. You’re sure he probably is, you would be if you were him. Not that what he did was wrong, no it was wrong, very wrong of him to grab you like that and have you so close to him. To say such a romantic statement to you and you two are not even courting. Thought you two wouldn't be entering a courtship anyways, well would your engagement count as a courtship?

“I have not been up to much. I’ve been doing some studying, some reading, lady things.” He nods at your answer but he looks displeased like thats not what he wished to hear. “How have you been uncl-” “Are you betrothed?” You look at him alarmed and try to catch you breath as he leans in closer to you. “I will apologize for being forward later but i must know.”

“Why?” You breathe out with a hushed breath, as you notice his eye drifts to your lips. “You must know. You must know already why i wish to know, why i must know.” No. You don’t know. You certainly don’t wish to. You shake your head and let out a meek no while he nods and gets closer. The hairs on the back of your neck stand up, a chill runs down your spine as his lips brush against yours and you shiver.

“My prince.” He lets out sound close to animalistic as he whips his head to the left to glare at the squire while you pull all the way back and turn your head out of view, scooting farther away from him.

“Your mother is looking for you-” “Tell her i am busy.” He barks out. Thought you are not looking at him he can tell’s clenching his jaw and glaring. “She requests you now-” “You should go uncle-” “I am never allotted a moment of alone time and the one time i am she demands me? Tell her i am busy at once.”

The squire looks back and forth between you two and you say nothing, simply flushed with embarrassment. This was humiliating. Were you truly about to kiss him? and you were happy you were about to kiss him? You could not believe this. He nods simply, eyeing the two of you for a moment longer before nodding and rushing away.

You breathe heavily as you stare at your lap, your heart racing. What was happening to you? You begin to speak as you turn to look at him, “If your mother needs you maybe you should go- hmm!” he kisses you with a sense of fever you have never experienced. Sucking up every little sound and breath you take, one of his hands finds its place on your jaw.

When you open your mouth a little to gasp he eagerly shoves his tongue in your mouth, pocking and prodding, eagerly dominating you, leaning his body over you to where he is basically covering you completely, leaving you to lean back against the corner of the arm rail.

You grip onto his forearms, unsure of what you are doing. After what feels like an eternity he pulls away from you, eagerly rubbing his nose against your face affectionately, a small true smile falls on his face at your dazed look, his thumb affectionately rubbing the side of your cheek.

“Ao issi sīr gevie issa dōna.” (you are so beautiful my sweet) You flush. You hate him and the way he makes you feel. How dare he. You are supposed to despise him, make him pay for everything he’s done to you, to your family. But this Aemond hasn't done anything. This Aemond who’s gazing into your eyes like you are the stars in the sky, like you are the center of the universe. Maybe if this all works out and there can be no bloodshed there will be no reason to hate him truly.

Suddenly his hand lightly trails down your sides and to the sides of your thighs where he finds himself rubbing circles on your thighs. It is a silent exchange. The eye contact you share being more than enough. Your breath continuous to race as he keeps his eyes on you. one of his hands trailing down your legs and under your dress. Your breath speeds up and your heart quicken, is it even possible for a heart to be beating this fast? Would your heart burst from your chest?

He is a terrible man. An awful one. For being so unaffected while you are panting at a single touch. His hand lays on your thigh as he continues to gaze at you, he stops and you gulp, opening your mouth but unable to speak. He has stripped you of your ability to do anything. You look at him confused why he is not doing anything and then you realize something.

He is waiting for you.

For your queue. for your permission.

You have only heard and read about the affairs between men and women, you have never experienced something like this, he had even taken your first kiss. If you did this it would all be getting too real. Were you truly going to sully yourself like this? It would not technically be sullying yourself as he is to be your husband, no other man is meant to touch you anyway. No man is good to touch you other than him. You don’t want another man to touch you. Only him.

He is surprisingly patient. Not moving his hand an inch. continuing to gaze at you with that same dreamy look. You still cannot get a good read on him, is he truly trying to do this because he holds affection for you or is he merely attempting to manipulate you? had his mother told him to persuade you to get you to submit to him?

You nod to him.

It doesn't matter to you. You want him. Terribly to the point your heart begins to ache and your stomach twists and turns.

He finally begins to move his hand where you are soaked. He merely brushes his fingers against you and you move to grip his forearm tightly staring at him with wide eyes. He continues to simply gaze at you, unable to take your hands off you as he slips past your underwear and shoves a finger inside of you.

You gasp. One of your hands moving to grip his shoulder and pull him closer to you as he lightly begins to wriggle it around, feeling the inside of your walls. You are glad you are in a far away part of the garden for if anyone were to hear you, you would surely be ruined. Yet you couldn't find yourself to care as he pressed his lips against yours in a messy, open mouthed kiss as he slowly pumps his finger in and out of you. You are surely hurting him with how hard you are griping onto his shoulder, put his spare hand slides up your dress to begin squeezing your breasts as you gasp loudly against his lips. His lips leave yours occasionally, instead pressing against your cheeks and around your lips.

His finger quickens in pace where he slips in yet another finger giving you a delicious burn in your stomach. He stretches you out, his hands scissoring against you, his fingers pressing against your tightly walls which grip against his fingers harshly. He can move his fingers freely however, as you are completely drenched, allowing him to easily move within you.

You cannot tell how he is feeling, his eye simply closed as he presses kisses against your face but his face seems as stoic as ever. Though you cannot dwell on it again as he adds a third finger. You did not even know women could take more than one but three? This has your jaw clenching and your eyes shut tightly. He still says nothing and you in return. The only sounds coming are from your moans and gasps. You press your face against the side of his, putting your lips right up against your ear as he continues to pump in and out, you are now able to hear the squelching sound coming out of you leaving you to whine. You should be humiliated.

You continue to whine and moan and groan in his ear. Pressing yourself against him tightly, the burning of your stomach roaring louder and louder. You have no clue what is happening to you, not having heard about this unusual feeling before. You want to question him but you cannot find yourself to break this silence between you.

“Brother!” The two of you freeze. Your eyes shoot open and glance at him who looks at you with the same look, glancing over his shoulder at the direction of the voice. “Brother! Where are you? I know you're here!” He groans and mumbles to himself. His face annoyed as he continue to gaze at him. He slowly slides his fingers out of him and you whine at the now empty feeling, that burning in your stomach dying down.

You watch as he stands. You are unable to move only looking at him in confusion. What was happening? “I will make it up to you.”

He leaves. Turning his back to you and does not spare a single glance as he completely leaves your view. You are left clutching the bench and breathing heavily, the daze not having left you.

What the fuck.

[xoxogyomei]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ A NEW LETTER HAS ARRIVED..!

✎ DEAR [READER],

🎀 — SYNOPSIS: imagine the male hashiras (Giyuu, Sanemi, Gyomei, Obanai, Tengen, Rengoku & Muichiro) reaction to the reader adoring their scars..!

🎀 — WARNINGS: mild angst, fluff, cursing in sanemi's, references to lore in gyomei's & obanai's (potential spoiler!!), ooc obanai?? (idk how to write him 😔), overall insecurities can be seen throughout

— @xoxogyomei (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

P.S. first post,, hii, all of these are intended as gender neutral but the exception being in Sanemi's (you're called a minx), also as a fair warning literally repeated the words paintbrush & canvas in this so many times 😭😭 please lmk what y'all think!

GIYUU TOMIOKA . . . . . !

╰┈➤ WATER PILLAR

Tries to act indifferently

Fails miserably

Your cold hands trace his back, your fingers brushing over his rough and exposed skin like a paintbrush on a canvas. Giyu shivers slightly under your touch, moving his head to the side to get a better look at you. His expression remains stoic, as if he sees no purpose in why you’re gawking at his scars.

“What are you doing?” he mumbles, his tone neutral but a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks as he sees your eyes tracing every mark that's ever laid upon his back.

“Hmm? Adoring my hardworking and strong boyfriend, obviously,” you tease, a playful glint in your eyes. You can see the slightest hint of confusion in his eyes, as if he doesn’t quite understand why you find his scars so fascinating.

“What if your boyfriend doesn’t like all this attention?” Giyu inquires, his voice steady but his blush deepening.

You move forward, landing a soft kiss on his cheek, brushing a strand of his hair as you do so, “From the way his heart is beating right now, I think he quite enjoys it actually,” you whisper into his ear, your breath leaving his ear warm.

Giyu remains silent for a moment, his gaze locked on the floor. “I don’t understand why you’re so fascinated with my scars. They’re just… reminders of battles.”

“They're part of you,” you say softly, your fingers tracing the lines of his scars gently. “And I appreciate every part of you.”

His eyes meet yours, a mixture of confusion and something softer in his gaze,

“You’re weird,” he says awkwardly simply, but there’s a hint of a smile on his lips implying that he doesn't mean it in a rude way.

“Weird in a good way, I hope,” you reply, leaning in to kiss another scar on his shoulder.

“In the best way I'd suppose.” You smile at his response.

Your arms slither around his waist from behind, your chin resting on his shoulder as you hummed. Giyu suddenly found himself incredibly overwhelmed from your touches. He abruptly gets up without a word and simply walks out of the room, leaving you puzzled. The poor boy had to take a minute to recollect himself, leaning against the wall outside, his heart pounding.

As he catches his breath and tries to make the heat from his cheeks disappear, he can't help but smile softly to himself, feeling a warmth spread through him. Even if he won't admit it, your adoration means more to him than he lets on. The blush on his cheeks deepens as he recalls your gentle touches that make his heart crumble.

It takes him a solid two minutes when he finally returns, he sits beside you, his demeanor calm but his eyes softer.

“You're a menace,” he says quietly, but there’s no malice in his words.

“And you wouldn't have it any other way,” you say cheekily, wrapping your arms around him. He doesn’t pull away this time though, instead tries to unstiffen his muscles and allow himself to relax into your embrace, a small, content sigh escaping his lips.

SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA . . . . . !

╰┈➤ WIND PILLAR

Sanemi is hostile and defensive but slowly melts into your touch.

He reminds me of a feisty chihuahua wanting belly rubs or something lol

“Ehh, what are you doing, you minx?!” he hisses as you suddenly fall into his lap- catching the male off guard, tilting your head to the side innocently,

“What do you mean?”

Sanemi’s eyes narrow as he stares into your eyes, suspicion written all over his face. “Wipe that smug ass smirk off your face, brat. I know you’re planning something…”

Your grin grows larger as your hands cup his face. His furrowed expression temporarily falls slack as your hands caress his cheekbones. You lift yourself slightly to kiss the scars on the left side of his face. His eyes flutter shut as his body relaxes at your touch. Despite his usual hostility, he has the urge to grab your hands and pull them back to his face as you release your hold on him.

“Why are you doing this?” he asks, his voice softer but still laced with suspicion. “What’s your secret motive here you minx?”

“No secret motive,” you say softly, your fingertips tracing the scars on his face almost as though you were afraid he was going to shatter in any second, “Just showing love to my feisty boyfriend.”

“Feisty?” he snorts, though his voice lacked its usual bite, “You’re ridiculous.”

“Maybe,” you admit, leaning in to kiss another scar. “But you love it.”

His eyes flicker open to look at your grin and then darting his eyes to yours, and he scowls, “Stop looking at me with those pretty eyes of yours and do it again!”

“Do what again?” you tease, enjoying the rare sight of him flustered.

“Kiss me, dipshit!” he hisses, but there’s a noticeable softness in his lilac eyes. Your hands brush the scars on his chest, and this time, you kiss his lips. His tough exterior melts away momentarily as he leans into your touch, his body vulnerable to your embrace.

You pull back slightly, only for him to grip your waist and pull you closer, his lips seeking yours again. His kiss is demanding, filled with a desperation he would never voice outloud. When you finally break apart, both of you breathless, he glares at you with a mix of annoyance and something deeper.

“Don’t think this means I’ve gone soft,” he mutters, his blush deepening as he tries to avoid your smug gaze.

“Of course not,” you reply with a smile, resting your forehead against his. “You’re still my tough, feisty Sanemi.”

He grumbles something incoherent, but his arms remain wrapped around you, holding you close like he was afraid you were going to disappear in mere milliseconds.

GYOMEI HIMEJIMA . . . . . !

╰┈➤ STONE PILLAR

Thinks you’re adorable 

Not insecure but is traumatized by a certain scar...

“Gyo?” you hummed softly

“Yes, love?” your partner turned his head at the sound of your voice, his tone laced with concern.

“Do you mind coming down to my level for a minute?” you asked meekly. The giant chuckled deeply before kneeling down in front of you, lifting his head slightly so you could see him better.

You brushed his hair out of his face, your fingers softly tracing the scar across his temple. Gyomei gently nuzzled his head into your hand at the feel of your touch. Though he could not see, he knew you were being as sweet and gentle as you could around his vulnerabilities. The sides of his mouth lifted into a bitter smile as tears rolled down his face. Your other hand wiped away the incoming tears.

“Why are you crying?” you asked quietly, retracting the hand on his forehead, afraid you had hit a sensitive matter by touching his scar.

“You are far too sweet for me, my love. It’s quite an honor being your lover,” he said kindly and tears continued to stream down his face like a gentle river. He grabbed your hand and brought it back to his head, your heart skipping a beat as you looked at the beautiful man you called yours.

Gyomei’s large hand held yours gently, guiding your fingers to trace the scar again.

“This scar,” he began, his voice firm but filled with pain, “reminds me of a time when I was not strong enough to protect those I cared about, and when people did not give me kindness the same way you do now.”

You listened to his melancholic words, your heart aching for him.

“You’re the strongest person I know,” you said softly, your fingers continuing their gentle exploration of his scar, “Not just physically, but here,” you placed your free hand over his softly beating heart.

His bitter smile softened into a genuine one, “Your words mean more to me than you know,” he whispered, tears still streaming down his face.

You leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to the scar on his temple. “I love every part of you, Gyomei. Your scars, your strength, your kindness, everything about you.”

He pulled you closer, enveloping you in a tender hug,

“And I love you, more than words can express,” he murmured against your hair. The two of you stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s warmth and love, finding comfort in the shared silence.

As you held him, you felt his body relax, the tension in his body slowly melting away and molding into arms like putty. His tears subsided, replaced by an easygoing smile.

“You’re adorable,” he said softly, his voice filled with affection, “I am truly blessed to have you by my side.”

You smiled, your heart full and content as his head rests against your shoulder, “And I am blessed to have you, Gyo. Always.”

OBANAI IGURO . . . . . !

╰┈➤ SNAKE PILLAR

The most difficult to persuade 

Literally will panic if you brush across the bandages on his face

I’d assume it would take several tries to get this guy to get rid of the bandages

Poor baby :(

You took a habit of admiring your lover with your eyes rather than with your hands, always tracing his pretty features with your gaze. He was always aware of your constant gawking yet never voicing out his potential discomfort.

After you admired him with your eyes, you would constantly bring up the bandages on his face—not in a bothersome way though. You had been trying to convince Obanai to remove his bandages for weeks. Each time you brought it up, he would tense up and change the subject, his heterochronic eyes filled with a mix of fear and anxiety. Until finally, you decided to try a different approach.

“Obanai,” you called softly, sitting beside him as he tended to his ivory snake. “Can we talk?”

He glanced at you, his expression wary as he spoke harshly, “What is it?”

You took a deep breath, “I just… I want to see all of you.” Your eyes landed on his bandages before meeting his stunned expression. “I know it’s hard, but I promise, I’ll always love you.”

His eyes widened, and he looked away, his hands trembling slightly. “I can’t,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “You wouldn’t understand…”

“I want to understand,” you said gently, reaching out to touch his hand. He flinched but didn’t pull away. “Please, Obanai.” You pleaded to him, feeling crushed that your lover couldn’t reach out to you. It made your relationship rather distant.

He remained silent, his eyes fixed on the ground. You waited, giving him the time he needed to process your words. After what felt like eons, he finally spoke,

“It’s not that simple,” he said, his voice shaking. “These bandages… they hide things you wouldn’t want to see. I look hideous, like a monster," like a freak.

“I want to see all of you,” you said softly, your fingers brushing over his knuckles. “Please, Obanai. Let me show you that you’re perfect to me, no matter what.”

He looked at you, his eyes filled with a mix of fear and hope. “You don’t know what you’re saying,” he muttered, but there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice. You squeezed his hand.

“Let me prove it to you,” you repeated, “Just let me try.”

Obanai hesitated, his breath coming in short, “I don’t know if I can,” he admitted, his voice barely a whisper.

“It’s okay,” you reassured him. “Take your time, but please don’t hide away from me.”

His hands began to tremble under your touch, his eyes searching yours as though he was looking for confirmation. You lifted your lips up in a soft, reassuring smile. He took a deep breath and nodded, giving you the silent permission to start.

With gentle hands, you began to unravel the bandages, your touch soft and careful. Obanai tensed, his breath hitching, but he didn’t stop you. As the last of the bandages fell away, you saw the scar that marred his mouth, a cruel reminder always taunting his lips.

His lips were a pale pink that complemented his skin tone in the best way. One hand reached up to brush your thumb over his lip. He was incredibly tense, his eyes shut as he was too afraid to see your reaction, fearing you would run away from him, slip away from his grasp due to his ugly face.

“You’re beautiful,” you whispered in awe, his eyes opening up in surprise as you continued to whisper sweet praises in his ear.

Tears filled his eyes, and he leaned into your touch, his body trembling. “Thank you,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “Thank you for loving me.”

You smiled at him before slightly tilting your head and tapping his lips with your finger. “May I?”

He smiled shyly before nodding his head. You leaned in, your lips gently brushing against his, savoring the softness and warmth. His lips, though marked by the scar, were tender. You deepened the kiss slowly, feeling the hesitate way he responded, his initial tension melting away as he allowed himself to bas k in your beauty. His fingers caressed your cheek as you kissed, pouring all his love into the touch.

When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathless, his eyes shining with a mixture of vulnerability and newfound confidence. “You’re so pretty,” you murmured, resting your forehead against his shoulder. “And I’m so lucky to have you.”

He closed his eyes, a smile gracing his lips. “I’m the lucky one,” he whispered back, feeling somewhat content.

UZUI TENGEN . . . . . !

╰┈➤ SOUND PILLAR

Smug bastard

Will 100% tell you stories about his scars and over exaggerate every time.

“Tengen!” you chirped as your husband trained outside with his Nichirin blades. The white-haired male paused at the sound of your voice and turned his head towards your figure.

“Hello, darling,” he smiled sweetly, his tone ever-so-slightly smug. “Need something?”

You shook your head before grabbing his bicep and snuggling it close to your face.

“Just missed you,” you mumbled as he chuckled.

“Mmm, well, if my lovely partner misses me so badly, I suppose I could take a break and spend some time with them…” He teased, a playful glint in his eyes as he allowed you to drag him away, watching you with fondness.

As you led him to a shady spot under a tree, Tengen settled down beside you, his arm wrapped around your shoulders. “You know,” he began, a mischievous smile tugging at his lips, “this one right here,” he pointed to a faint scar on his forearm, “was from a battle with a demon so huge, it could have swallowed our mansion in a bite!”

You raised an eyebrow, already knowing where this was headed. “Oh really?” you played along, holding back a grin. “Our mansion, you say?”

“Absolutely,” he continued, his voice full of exaggeration, “But I took it down with a single swing of my blade! The villagers were in awe, and they begged me to stay and protect them forever. But of course, I couldn’t—had to return to you, darling.” He winked, giving you a cheesy grin as he nuzzled your neck.

You giggled, shaking your head at his antics. “You’re such a show-off, Tengen.”

“Only for you,” he winked, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. His free hand brushing strands of your hair off of your face, “Besides, who wouldn’t want to impress their gorgeous partner?”

You rolled your eyes playfully, resting your head on his shoulder and sighing contently. “You’re lucky I enjoy your silly stories.”

“And I’m also lucky to have someone who listens to them,” he murmured, his tone softer as he pulled you closer so your heads were practically touching.

“Though, if you’re interested, I could tell you about the time I single-handedly defended a dozen of ships from a demon who lived in the sea…” He whispered rather loudly.

You laughed, feeling warm and content in his arms. “Why don’t you save that one for later? Right now, I just want to enjoy some quiet time with my favorite flamboyant hashira.”

He smiled with genuine affection as he peppered kisses all over your neck, “As you wish, sweetheart.”

KYOJURO RENGOKU . . . . . !

╰┈➤ FLAME PILLAR

It will always begin with you praising his scars 

And end with him praising you it’s like playing a game of uno with him and all he has is the reverse cards😒

You lay beside Kyojuro in bed, the moon leaving light to see his toned body. Your fingers absently tracing the lines of the scars that decorated his chest. The warmth of his skin radiated like your own personal furnace, you stare at his tainted skin from all his previous battles.

“You’re body is like a canvas, decorated so nicely with stories to tell in every stroke from the paint brush” you whispered, your voice filled with admiration as you whisper pretty nothings to him, “...these scars, they’re proof of how much you’ve endured, they're so pretty," you gushed.

Kyojuro turned his head to look at you, his eyes glowing under the light of the moon. A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he gently took your hand in his.

“And you,” he began, lifting your hand to press a kiss to your hand, “are the reason I’ve endured. You're like the artist, without you, my life is an empty canvas."

You blinked in surprise, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. “Dove, I’m trying to tell you how amazing you are, not the other way around,” You muttered into his chest, he was far too smooth sometimes...

He laughed heartily, the sounded rich in your ears making you feel all giddy inside.

“But it’s true! How could I not praise the one who gives me strength? You inspire me every day!"

You let out a soft groan, trying to hide your smile as you playfully shoved him. “You’re impossible. I’m supposed to be the one showering you with compliments, not the other way around, let me have a moment to praise you.”

Kyojuro grinned, his eyes twinkling. “Ah, but what fun would that be? Besides, it’s my duty to remind you of your own greatness. After all, you are my guiding flame, the light that keeps me going even when I'm running out of firewood.”

You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t stop the warmth from spreading through your chest. “This isn’t a competition, you know.”

“Of course not,” he agreed, his voice softer now as he leaned closer, your noses barely touching, “But I’d like to think we’re equals in this. Just as you admire my past wounds, I admire all of you.”

You sighed, feeling a mix of exasperation and complete adoration for the man you had wrapped around your finger, “You’re too much sometimes, dove.”

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close so you could rest your head on his chest. “And you, my flame, are everything to me,” he murmured, his voice tender and sugary sweet in your ear. Your heart warm and gooey from his words.

As you both lay there, wrapped in each other’s embrace, you couldn’t help but smile. With a contented sigh, you closed your eyes, letting the steady beat of his heart lull you to sleep, knowing that in this game of uno, you both were winning.

MUICHIRO TOKITO . . . . . !

╰┈➤ MIST PILLAR

Never pays any attention to his scars

Until you do

Doesn't even know where he got majority of them.

You and Muichiro lay on the cool grass, the night sky stretched out above you like an infinite canvas dotted with twinkling stars that gleamed against the night. The soft breeze rustled through the leaves, carrying with it the scent of midnight. The boy besides you was too busy staring up at the night sky to notice that your attention was not on the stars. Your hand reached out to gently trace the faint scars on his arm, your fingers brushing over the roughened skin.

“Muichiro,” you began softly, your voice blending with the night’s silence, concern knitting your eyebrows, “these scars… didn't they hurt?”

Muichiro’s eyes, distant and unfocused, slowly drifted from the stars to you. He seemed to ponder your words, the faint glow of the moon reflecting in his pale eyes,

“Maybe they did,” he replied quietly, his voice as soft as the breeze. “But I don’t really remember anything about them. It’s like... it's like they’re just… there.”

You smiled, your gaze fixed on him as you continued to trace the lines of his scars with your eyes, “They’re more than "just there", Muichiro. They show how much you’ve been through, how brave you are. Even if you don’t remember every battle, your strength is always with you.” You paused before adding, "It's honorable, but it shows how careless you are with your body sometimes."

He remained silent for a moment, his expression thoughtful as he stared up at the sky.

“I forget a lot,” he admitted, not really responding to you, his voice almost sounded insecure as he continued, “Sometimes it feels like I’m just... floating, like nothing really stays with me.”

Your heart ached at his words and you instinctively moved closer, cupping his face in your hand. “You might forget some things, but you’re here now, and that’s what matters.”

Muichiro’s gaze softened as he looked at you, the coolness of his usual demeanor melting away under your touch.

“I guess you’re right,” he murmured, almost as if he was convincing himself. He leaned into your hand, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment as he savored the warmth of your sweet touch. The poor boy was starved from touch, and was secretly eager to accept yours like a warm meal.

You smiled, your thumb brushing gently across his cheek. “You don’t have to remember everything, Muichiro. Just know that you’re loved—scars, memories, and all.”

His eyes opened again, a faint flicker of something warm and tender, something unusual for him.

“You’re different,” he said, his voice soft and filled with something somewhat similar to awe, “Being with you… it feels like something stays. Like I’m not just floating anymore.”

Your heart swelled at his words, and you leaned in to press a gentle kiss to his forehead.

“I’ll always be here,” you whispered, your lips lingering against his skin as you felt him relax under your touch.

Muichiro’s hand found yours, his fingers intertwining with yours as he gazed up at the stars once more.

“Stay with me,” he whisper, his voice almost a plea, vulnerable in a way he seldomly was.

“Always, but take better care of yourself” you say, giving his hand a gentle squeeze as you smiled.

"I'll try for you," he promised as you shook your head,

"Try for you and me, Muichiro."

"Alright, I'll try for us both," He agreed as you smiled at his words.

The two of you lay there under the vast sky, your fingers entwined and the darkness wrapping around you like a comfortable blanket, you knew that you had found a way into the heart of a boy who was usually lost in the clouds. And in that moment, under the stars, he was finally grounded—right there beside you.

TAGLIST: n/a if interested in getting tag for when I post a specific character let me know!!

©XOXOGYOMEI | please do not plagiarize, repost, or translate my work anywhere without my consent.

INTERESTED IN SENDING A REQUEST? stop by my mailbox (aka inbox)! I'll be happy to consider your request (plz send smth)

Thank you for reading! If you like or reblog or even decide to follow me, thank you sm! And if you don’t do any of those things, it’s all good! You spending your time to read this makes my day better nonetheless, so have a good one and drink lots of water and as you scroll down just know that I love you! 💗 Make sure you take a break from scrolling tho — lotus (xoxogyomei)

[starlightsuffered]

Accidental Pic

Info - smut, accidentally posting pic of sex, tipsy sex

The sex was deep and passionate. My cock sopping in her nectar, unable to stop. Though we were both tipsy, I had the energy of a God. Maybe it was because she'd been gone a weak. I wanted to drown my cock in her

wetness.

"Timothée, no please, l'm gonna come again. Please tell me three rounds isn't too much," she gasped. She was blissed out, sweating bullets, and clinging to me and entwined with me.

"No," I grunted, trying to give her powerful thrusts as I moved.

"Just wanna a pic baby," I moaned. I snapped what I thought was a good pick. She rose up and was kissing me desperately. My hand fumbled with the phone, trying not to let it break.

"Mmmmmmm, Tim," she whined and I said fuck it to the phone and dropped it. I hammered into her until we were both exhausted and passed out in a tangle of limbs.

When I woke up I was groggy, sticky, and still inside her. My eyes were heavy lidded. I fumbled for my phone, unwilling to pull out.

"Mmmmm Timothée," she groaned

"Morning baby," | said and kissed her lips. She stretched as I looked at my notifications.

"Fuck!" I gasped.

"What?" She asked.

"I Um, it's," I stuttered. She grabbed the phone. I shrunk away.

"You idiot, my orgasm face and side boob,?" She demanded.

"I'm sorry!" I wailed. "I promise it was an accident."

"No it wasn't. I remember you taking it!"

"Yeah but I didn't mean to post it!" I exclaimed

"I'm humiliated," she whined, covering her eyes. I deleted the pictures and wrapped my body around her.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled into her shoulder. She unstiffened a bit.

"Please forgive me," I begged.

"Oh alright," she sighed and kissed me.

"Isn't it kinda hot though baby?" I asked massaging her nipples with my thumbs.

"Don't push your luck" she giggled.

[sunlightmurdock]

The Parent Trap | 0.1 | Bradley Bradshaw x Ex-Wife!Reader

♡ Prologue | Next Chapter | Masterlist

♡ In which, after a couple of years of listening to Peyton and Parker Bradshaw complain about their parents’ custody agreement, Grandpa Mav’s meddling goes a little bit too far.

♡ warnings: mentions of divorce throughout the fic, flashbacks to arguments and unhappily married people. Idiots who still love each other and don’t know it. (warnings will be added as story progresses).

…

“Alright! They’re here.” Maverick drops the curtain back into place and turns back towards his granddaughters. “Be cool.”

Peyton looks up, scrunches her nose just a fraction — she takes a moment to analyse what this might entail. Maverick sits back against the couch and opens his book up, picking a random page a couple of chapters in, settling into his position. Parker settles in equally easily, she drops down so that she’s sitting cross-crossed and immediately gets to work penciling in answers on her worksheet. Peyton inhales, then almost forgets to exhale, her mind racing as the sound of footsteps on the porch ring out over the top of Maverick’s soft soul album playing.

Finally, she drops down next to her sister and grabs a pencil.

“It’s been forever since I’ve seen Mav,” You muse, breathing out softly as you follow Bradley up onto the porch. It’s been forever since you’ve even been here, you’ve only seen Maverick a handful of times since you divorced Rooster. He was always kind to you. “He might not even recognise me.” You joke.

Rooster almost scoffs. Recognise you? — He hardly ever shuts up about you. It’s a good thing, probably, that his friends and family are so fond of you. It means he picked a good person to share his life with. It just makes things even more difficult now that the two of you have decided to go your own ways.

“He’s not that old.” Rooster settles with instead, keeping things lighthearted as he turns the door handle and opens the front door. He steps in first and holds the door open behind him for you. Taking a few steps forwards, he has a good view into the living room on the left.

The girls are both sitting on the floor, working on some school work together. Peyton’s helping her sister with math. Maverick is reading a fictional romance novel. One of Penny’s. Peyton is way worse than Parker at math. Damn it.

Maverick glances up from his book and even through the suddenly blurred lenses of his reading glasses, he can see the disappointment on Rooster’s face. Busted. But, as far as Rooster knows, this just means that the three of them spent the afternoon having fun and watching TV. Which isn’t entirely incorrect.

“Hi, Mav.” You step around Rooster sheepishly and lift your hand, waving it at him. Rooster looks you up and down, brows scrunching slightly. This is the man who drove you to the hospital when you were in labour and Rooster was an hour away in traffic. The same one who held you whilst you sobbed at the thought of not being a good enough mother and told you it was all going to be okay. The first person that the two of you told you were expecting.

And here you are, acting like he has become a stranger.

There are lots of aspects of divorce that hurt more than Rooster was expecting them to. Those hour long gaps in his Sundays now that he doesn’t have to go and put gas in your car. Getting home from work on a night that the girls are with you and his home being empty.

Now, Rooster doesn’t have much of a family. It was just Mav for a little while, and then Penny and Amelia came along. But, then he had you — and the girls, and you were all a big family. Now, Maverick is someone that you can only awkwardly say hello to. No longer family.

“Hey, honey! How’ve you been?” The book is discarded and Maverick is pushing himself up off of the couch, arms opened and walking towards you. Your body unstiffens, exhaling quickly as you let him envelope you in a hug. It takes everything in you not to rush out a pained ‘oh my god, I thought you hated me’.

Your mind jumbles, searching for the right words as Maverick squeezes you. He’s greyer than the last time you saw him, he still smells like the same cologne he wore when you met him. That means Penny’s still unsuccessful in making him stop buying the same pine scented spray that he wore in the eighties.

“Good! I’m — busy, but I’m good.” You manage out. He pulls back to look at you, catching your arms like you’ll disappear again if he doesn’t ground you right here with him. He looks over your face fondly. Both of you a little bit older, probably none the wiser.

Pete grins and nods his head. “I’m glad, I’m so glad.”

Rooster looks between the two of you, then back at the kids looking up at them curiously. As he glances back to Maverick, he knows that it’s only a matter of time before the old man starts spouting off some crap about how the two of you would probably be happier together.

“Mav, could we have a second alone with the kids? — We still have to get them home before their bedtime and stuff.” Rooster reminds his uncle gentle. Maverick jumps to his senses and pulls back nodding.

“Oh, right. Of course. I’ll — I’m going to go and start making dinner for Penny. I’ll be in the kitchen.” As he turns, his back to the two of you, his eyes on the kids, Maverick gives them an overzealous wink. It’s up to them from here on out. Then, he leaves and heads for the kitchen, shutting the door behind him.

Bradley moves first. He walks calmly into the living room and sits down in front of the two of them. You follow suit. There’s a beat of silence, the four of you looking at each other.

Finally, you’re the first to speak. “First, your dad and I just wanted to say that we’re glad you two can talk to each other, and that you wanted to help out your sister. But you know that this was completely the wrong way to go about it. Right?”

“We know…” Peyton agrees dejectedly, guilt in her tone and her body language as she twirls her pencil between her fingers.

You do your best not to make it a lecture, knowing that they’ll just zone out if you drone on at them too much. They’re still little and long lectures can be draining on their developing minds. You do your best to engage, asking them questions, keeping them involved.

It’s clear that they know what they did was wrong. You’ve got a sneaking feeling that this probably won’t be the last time they do something like it, but for now it’s resolved either way.

They’re going to write an apology to their teachers for switching classes again. You and Rooster had been texting about this all afternoon, you’ve considered making them write an apology to William — but he’s kind of a little asshole and his mother is even worse.

You check your watch and it’s already a little after seven. Their bedtime is eight. Luckily, Mav gave them dinner, so all you have to do is get them home and into bed. Then, you can get started with the mountain of work that you have left to do tonight.

“Alright, go say goodnight to Grandpa Mav, we should get going.”

“Can I drive home with Dad?” Parker asks suddenly. A quick glance towards your ex-husband, clearly tired after the day, relaxed back against the couch. He moved a while ago, complaining that sitting on the floor was hurting his back. You shake your head quickly.

“No, not today. It’s out of his way, and you two need to get to bed soon.”

“I just wanted to talk to him about the stuff with Billy,” She turns those big brown eyes towards Rooster and looks up at him, guilt filled and sorrowful. “I feel bad for not telling you about it. Can we talk?”

You open your mouth to correct her. Rooster, already suckered, sits forwards and nods his head. “Yeah, Peanut. We can talk about it.”

“You don’t have to, I mean, it’s—“

“It’s alright, I can take them back with me and we’ll just meet you at your place.” Rooster decides, running his fingers through his auburn hair and sitting up, readying to stand.

For the millionth time that day, your children catch you off guard. Peyton looks up, scowling, completely serious as she shouts, “No, I want to go with Mom!”

Rooster glances across at you, then back at her. Ultimately, he shrugs — it has been a long day and the twins’ favourite parent switches up routinely, he has learned to just take it in his stride. “Alright, so we’ll take one each. Just me and you, Parks.”

You’re more skeptical of this behavior, and your daughters recognise it immediately. You squint as you look between the two of them, and their sweet little faces. They’re probably up to something, but like their dad, you’re exhausted and don’t have time to investigate.

“Okay. One each.” You agree with a tired shrug, pushing yourself up from the floor. The girls rush off to say their goodbyes to Maverick, Bradley thanks him for watching them, then you’re all bundling out to the cars. You pause at the realization that Rooster has his bronco.

He catches your scowl as you pass him one of the booster seats. “She’ll be fine, I’ll drive slow.”

“I can take her, it’s not a problem.” You shake your head at the thought of her climbing up into that almost fifty year old, mostly metal, box. Rooster has always defended that truck to you, insisting that it’s safe. Still, you had made him buy something safer for when he has the kids. Their booster seats are still in the backseat of the fourth gen dodge Ram on his driveway, he never takes them in this.

“I’m going with Dad.” Parker insists. You both turn, looking up to find her already climbing on the side of the truck, having lifted herself up onto the step, now struggling to get the door open.

“We’ll see you at your place.” Rooster nods. With that, he turns away from you and wraps and arm around Parker’s middle, scooping her off of the side of his truck and opening the door with her under one arm.

You swallow softly and slide into the driver’s side of your car. Before you’ve even turned the key in the ignition, Peyton pipes up from behind you. “Was it weird being at Grandpa Mav’s house? — Did you guys used to be friends?”

“Alright, you buckled in?” Rooster looks up and checks his rear view mirror, finding his daughter’s smiling face looking back at him. He misses seeing those faces every day. She nods calmly and tugs at the seatbelt to prove it. Rooster nods, turning the radio down a little so that he’ll be able to hear her. The soft top cover will help, since the wind won’t be in their ears.

“Did you see that Mommy got her hair cut? — I like it like that, it’s pretty.” Parker comments, dragging her backpack across the seat towards her and starting to rifle through it as Bradley pulls away from the curb. He glances up at her through the mirror, brows scrunching just slightly, lips quirked.

“I thought we were going to talk about this Billy kid.” He reminds her.

“We are,” She shrugs her shoulders and pulls her notebook from the backpack, along with a blue pencil. “I’m just saying, Mommy looked really pretty today, don’t you think?”

“Your Mom always looks pretty. Just like you, Peanut.” At first glance, it’s a nice thing to say. But, it’s what he always says. With the two of them sharing so many of your features, he’d never dream of saying anything bad about the way you look. Not that he has anything bad to say anyway. Still, Parker is looking for something a little better than that.

She stares at him, squinting for a moment, then persists. “Yeah. But don’t you think she looks especially pretty now?”

Rooster glances up again, lips quirking more, brows scrunching in amused confusion at the serious expression on her face. “Yeah, I guess. — What’s this about?”

“I’m just asking. Don’t you think about Mom when you aren’t with her?” Parker frowns, folding her arms over her chest. Rooster pulls to a stop at a red light and looks back at his daughter, baffled. He always knew that getting a divorce was going to bring up some questions from the kids, he just wasn’t expecting this level of interrogation today.

He gives a small shrug. “Yeah, I think about you guys all the time. Y’know, how you’re doing, if you’re safe—“

“No, not us. Mommy.” Parker interrupts. Rooster glances back again, finding her staring back at him with her pencil resting on the page, her expression impatient. He pulls away from the now green light and shifts in his seat, completely confused.

“Um… yeah, I guess I think about her when we aren’t together. Parks, where’s all this coming from?” He frowns.

“Nowhere. So, anyway… Billy.” She tosses the notebook to the side and rests her hands in her lap.

Peyton twirls a curl around her finger, bopping her head to the lyrics of a song from the noughties. “I just think it’s cool that Daddy gets to fly planes. Did you think it was cool when you met him?”

When you met Rooster, you were still a bartender, working part time in a local boutique. You worked for Penny back then. You were somewhat young, especially impressionable — and he was perfect. Tanned skin, sunglasses and sea-salt tangled curls, asking you how your weekend was going every week.

Listening to your stories, asking you out, telling you about his adventures. It was all so quick in the beginning and yes, he was so cool.

“He was alright.” You answer back, glancing up into the rear view mirror with a soft smile toying at your lips. Peyton grins, she knows what that means.

She’s heard this story a million times and yet she asks again, “What was your first date like?”

Things with Rooster had never been exactly traditional. You’d already slept with him a couple of times before he finally murmured into your skin that he wanted to take you out for real, that he needed to know more about you.

But, that aspect obviously remains between just you and Rooster. You tell your kids about the date by the beach, him trying to impress you with somewhat of a picnic. Pushing him over in the water, him carrying you back to the car when you cut your foot on a rock by the shore.

He was so attentive in the beginning.

By the time you’re pulling onto the driveway, you check the rear view mirror and Peyton’s got her head leaned against the car door, lips parted, dead asleep. You smile softly, shaking your head as you unbuckle yourself and let yourself out.

Rooster pulls up as you close the door behind you. He turns off the ignition and hops down from the truck, standing under the glow of a streetlight.

“Parker’s asleep, I’ll carry her in.” He calls to you, already walking around to grab her door. You shake your head fondly as you turn back towards your car.

“Peyton too.” You chuckle.

Rooster unbuckles his daughter and lifts her into one of his arms, grabbing her backpack from the backseat with the other. He tucks her in against his side, her head lulling onto his shoulder, not stirring from her sleep in the slightest.

You groan as you hoist Peyton up onto your hip, struggling to balance her and shut the car door at the same time. It tugs at your heart strings as you realise out loud, “They’re going to be too big for us to do this soon.”

Rooster chuckles and steps around you to shut the car door for you. He makes it look so easy. “No, they’re going to be too big for you to do this soon. I’ve got a couple more years.”

You hug her closer to you, struggling to keep her tight against you, wondering when she got so big as you fumble for your keys in the tight back pocket of your shorts.

“I’ve got it.” Nudging your wrist out of the way, Rooster dips his hand into your back pocket and takes the keys. It’s a quick interaction, probably not him trying to cop a feel — it’s too fleeting for that, but it leaves you stunned nonetheless. He works the door open and glances back to check that you’re coming, still balancing your daughter with ease as he sets the keys on the end table inside.

Realising quickly that you must look like an idiot just standing there and staring at him, your feet carry you forwards and you kick the door shut behind you. He carries Parker up the stairs ahead of you. It hasn’t been that long since he lived here, it looks kind of different — the pictures on the stairway wall are different, but not unfamiliar.

He rounds the corner and pushes the door to their room open. Now, this is different. White walls dotted with little painted blue flowers, big-girl beds. Long gone is the nursery and toddler furniture that the two of you had filled this room with. It makes sense, their room at his place isn’t that different from this one, but still, he wonders why you didn’t ask him to help.

He sets Parker down on the bed closest to the door, slipping her shoes off of her feet and dropping them down to the floor beside her bedside table. The room would be bigger if they had bunk beds, but after last summer’s top bunk fight, you had forever abandoned that idea.

“I’ll go switch the car seats back over, if you wanna get them ready for bed.” Rooster says gently as you walk past him to set Peyton down in her own bed. You lift your head and nod gratefully at him across the dark room. Leaning forwards, you flick the switch for Peyton’s nightlight, it’s soft white glow illuminating the room enough for you to see the smile on his face.

“Thanks. Could you come back in afterwards? — I wanted to talk to you about something.” You’re busy unlacing Peyton’s tennis shoe and so you don’t notice the elated smile that’s on her face as she feigns unconsciousness. Rooster nods calmly.

“Sure. I’ll wait downstairs.”

Getting them both into their pyjamas, tucking them safely under their covers and slipping their respective stuffed animals in with them, kissing them both goodnight, it’s all part of the usual routine. Rooster’s leaning against the kitchen counter when you return back downstairs, arms folded over his chest as he frowns at the sink.

Slowly, you come to a stop a little bit away from him, unsure of how to say what comes next. You inhale, fiddling with your hands in front of you. He isn’t even looking at you, it’s like he knows already.

“Does it always drip like that?” He asks, pushing himself up and crossing the room to inspect the faucet. Your lips part, brows furrowing slightly. You hadn’t even noticed. He cranes his neck to get a better look. “You should’ve said, I can fix it this weekend or something, if you’re around.”

“Um… I actually wanted to see if you were free this weekend.” You explain calmly. Parker’s mouth gapes open as she and her sister huddle together at the bottom of the stairs, trying to listen to the soft conversation happening a room away. Rooster glances at you over his shoulder, just as taken back by the idea as his kids are. “There’s someone that I want you to meet.”

Rooster turns around to face you, leaning back against the counter and resting his hands on the wooden countertop. “Me? — Who would you want - Oh. You’re seeing someone?”

Realisation covers his face; it’s neither a good or bad reaction, and after years of knowing him as intimately as you do - did - you wish you could tell. You try to act as natural as he does about it.

“Well, I’ve been on a few dates with someone,” You explain gently. It’s a sensitive topic, telling your ex that you’re trying to move on. You’re not naive, you know that Rooster has hooked up with people since the divorce, you have too. But it’s different now, it’s bigger. “I really like him, and I’m thinking of introducing him to the girls. But I want you to meet him first.”

Parker slaps a hand over her sister’s mouth to contain the gasp, both of them ducking behind the railing by the stairs, like they won’t be seen through the gaps. They exchange looks, a thousand thoughts at once, plans being drawn up internally already.

It’s quiet in the kitchen, bar the sound of the faucet dripping behind him. His eyes, a dark hickory, search over your features. It’s unclear exactly what answer he’s searching for in your expression, but it doesn’t take him long to find it.

“Alright,” He nods his head. He signed those divorce papers just like you did. He was there for the custody hearing, the division of assets, explaining it to the kids. Rooster’s been present and aware of what this divorce means every step of the way. It’s been two years of pretty much radio silence. Neither one of you have exactly hidden the little flings you’ve had in the meantime, but you’ve kept that from the kids and you haven’t made a point of telling each other either.

Rooster’s trusted your judgment for as long as he has known you. If you think you’ve found someone worth introducing to the kids, then he should be happy. It wouldn’t be fair to hold you back.

He gives another curt nod, “That’s… it’s great. Congratulations.”

Your racing heart settles just slightly at his approval. Its pace slows but the pounding remains the same as you slowly raise your eyebrows at him. “So, this weekend?”

“Oh. Yeah, I’m free.” He agrees, nodding his head slowly. He taps his fingers on the countertops and glances around the home that the two of you had bought together just under a decade ago, silently wondering if your new boyfriend has been over.

It’s nothing to be upset about, the divorce was for the best, you both agreed that there shouldn’t be any hard feelings about it — these things happen. But, still.

“So, what’s he like?”

Your tongue darts out to wet your lips as you shift on your feet. “Um… well, he’s a carpenter, and he owns a DIY place down the street from my store. His name’s Chris, he’s about our age. He’s nice, I think you two would get along.”

Not a convict, not too old or too young for you, owns his own business. Rooster can’t find much to complain about. Peyton’s brows furrow as she waits for her dad to fix this, to tell you to stop seeing that guy and be with him instead. Rooster’s face softens as he nods his head again.

“He sounds great,” He decides finally, his voice gentle as he takes a step towards you and opens his arms. “I’m really happy for you.”

You exhale deeply, relieved as he wraps you in a loose hug, every fibre of the interaction platonic. Just as quickly as you’re tucked in his strong, warm arms, he lets you go again.

“Text me a time and a place, the three of us can do something this weekend,” Rooster brushes some loose curls back off of his forehead and squeezes your arm as he steps past. Parker sighs, leaning her head back, crushed. He’s doing it all wrong. “And… um, thanks for keeping me in the loop about all this. I really appreciate it.”

Your lips quirk up into a soft smile as you nod at him. His footsteps grow closer, reminding the girls that they’re supposed to be in bed. It’s a quiet scramble, trying not to trip over each other as they race back to their bedroom.

…

@fadingbelieverexpert @jessirosebud @cowboybarbie @pinkpantheris @thedroneranger @a-serene-place-to-be @xoxabs88xox @unordinare

[rockingrobin69]

☾⋆⁺₊🎃´₊⁺~Trick or Treat!~⋆⁺₊🎃´₊⁺~☽

Oh! Hello! You get a treat!

Nighttime Chatter

Harry came to bed all giggly, cold feet tucking under Draco’s thigh (“fuck!”), murmuring nonsense into the back of his neck: “It was so lovely, wasn’t it, tonight was so—”

Draco couldn’t help smiling into his pillow. “Yes, you knob, it was a good night. Now get your icicles off my legs or I will,” stopped for an indignant gasp as Harry went on to tickle him in an utterly uncalled for offense. “Hey!”

“Hello,” Harry said, warm behind his ear. Kissing it tenderly: “Darling, you were so beautiful.”

“Why, thank you. You were easier on the eyes than usual.” He was gorgeous as always, with his impossibly-wide grin growing only wider, only wilder, with the look on his face, soppy-sweet and unbearable.

“Always so gushy, aren’t you.”

“Shut up,” Draco said, and pushed himself closer into Harry’s chest. “It’s terribly cold.”

“Oh no. Whatever shall I do about that?”

The corners of his lips twitched, starting to ache. “Warm me up, you twat.”  

“Hmm. Now there’s a good idea.”

They were all tucked under the duvet and Harry was still pressing little kisses to the nape of his neck, or mouthing something silly and secret into his hair. “Stop it,” Draco laughed, ticklish and not nearly irritated, “I’m trying to sleep, gigantic goon!”

“Sorry,” Harry said, entirely unrepentant. “I’ll stop.” Not stopping.

“You’re lucky I—” Draco swallowed the words he hadn’t said out loud yet, that thrummed inside him, bright and crushing like a starburst, like a punch to the belly. “You’re lucky,” recovered, badly. Harry had finally stopped, and by the sound of it, stopped breathing too.

After a moment or thirty: “I am. Lucky. I’m so lucky, darling.”

Draco buried his face in the pillow. “Gods,” couldn’t stifle the grin, “just—good night, Harry.”

“Good night.”

Even the silence between them was heated, suffused with this—unbearable affection. Draco let himself unstiffen in Harry’s arms, and promised in his heart: tomorrow. He’ll tell him tomorrow. Behind him, Harry was warm and safe and, predictably, snoring.

Tomorrow.

[sea-dukes-assistant]

Prince Philip's Knack For Romance at the Royal Variety Performance

"Queen Elizabeth II was known for her emotional reserve, but the actor Michael Ball once saw her upper lip unstiffen. He sang People Will Say We’re in Love at a Royal Variety Performance and, as the royal couple met performers afterwards, it was clear that HMQ had been quite moved. She remembered the song from her courtship with Prince Philip. “The Queen came up, misty-eyed, and said ‘Thank you, that was beautiful’,” Ball tells Yours magazine. Her husband, though, always found it easier to express his thoughts and spoilt the romance by shouting “What was the song you were singing? I don’t think I’ve ever heard it in my bloody life!”

(source)

[apples-r-rubbish]

Small Town (11th Doctor x Reader) - Part 2

Summary: It snows in October, an Amberpoint tradition. On this peculiar snow day you find things aren't just cold outside. Count: 2.3k Warnings: unreality, self gaslighting, mentions of death, long gaps between updates A/N: I didn't mean for this to take literally 8 months, but I have a degree now! it is what it is, sorry, I can't promise I will ever update consistently because that's not my style. However, Thank you for all the support of my fics even though I went M.I.A -L <3

MASTERLIST | PART ONE | PART TWO (you are here !)

You were wandering around the TARDIS arm outstretched out gently touching the walls with your fingertips. The ship hummed gently appreciating your company. It had been an overwhelming 36 hours. 

The asylum was cold, wet and frightening. You prided yourself on generally being quite brave, but that place, that cold, dark, wet, place, sucked the energy right out of your soul. A dalek with a heart was not an easy sight, and as the doctor explained it you felt instantly floored.  The horrors you’d seen remained in your mind. At some point you slipped your way down the wall and allowed a few silent tears to slip from your eyes, and a figure came and sat next you and you slowly began to-

No. This wasn’t right. They don’t exist. You made them up. This isn’t real. That didn’t happen. The dream stopped almost as quickly as it had come to you. It was replaced by an intense feeling of loss you couldn’t quite place.

You stirred from your sleep in waves. Slowly, slowly, you rose from your bed. The world was cold. You read the clock. It was 9 am, 27th October. You searched for warmth through the covers and it was ultimately unsuccessful. John must’ve gotten up early. You curled yourself up in bed for a moment longer, bracing yourself for the chill of air that would eventually come. 

You wandered down the stairs now fully dressed. You frowned at your pyjamas, you couldn’t remember getting them. They were a gift, probably. John stood by the landline mumbling something into the phone. There didn’t seem to be a response coming through, but the conversation continued. He seemed to unstiffen when he saw you and mumbled ‘Work’ while scribbling a barely legible chicken scratch-esque note on paper before waving it at you. 

‘Breakfast - in the Kitchen.’ It was something of an Amberpoint oddity, snow days in October. For as long as you’d lived there had always been at least one. It was something of a ritual at this point, John’s work would call, tell him they’d cancel his appointments and you guys would have a day inside with not much else to do. So you took solace and started camping. Kettle on, brain off. 

You looked out the window halfheartedly, snow braced the horizon, usually it was worse - maybe it was the fact that last time - no year - had left you frozen in for two days with nothing but John’s rambling and intermittent radio signals. At first it was awful snow in October was never right in your mind especially in wherever you’re from again. But now however many years you had lived here, it had become somewhat embraced by you and your husband. 

You heard the phone gently placed back on the receiver as John entered the room, a content sigh fell from him. 

“So Amberpoint tradition, checklist. No work, tick.  Haven’t bothered to check the radio yet, so 50/50 and judging by the snow. No people for give or take but roughly 24 hours,” he wrapped his arms around you and placed a quiet but appreciative kiss on your forehead. And almost as soon as he had said it a knock disrupted the quiet day you had built for yourself. Laughter. 

Bee and Gus stood in the entryway shivering in a way akin to leaves, or something else that shivers. You welcomed them in, seemingly producing mugs of tea from nowhere. They graciously accepted taking up space on your sofa, heat clearly being appreciated. 

“Sorry we had nowhere else to turn, we aren’t used to the weather you see.” Bee rambled between sips “I thought, ah yes, number 11 will know what to do and Gus said we shouldn’t bother you, but I knew you’d be able to help.” Smile sitting there. Saccharine. You agreed seemingly involuntarily, like you felt the force through your body move your head before you’d even registered the question. Unequivocally, you would’ve said yes always. Helping people is what you do. Maybe it showed on your face. Something wasn’t right. 

“Y/N are you quite alright?” Gus asked seemingly as if he’d caught you out on a joke you had no idea of.

The words came to you suddenly, like divine intervention or a script cue you’d suddenly remembered. “Ah yes of course. Doors are always open for you, well at least I’d hope not or all the snow would get in,” your own laughter punctuated the sentence. That wasn’t your laughter. You’d heard it thousands of times. Even John frowned at the noise. No, this was it, what are you talking about? The look melted away, but the snow wouldn’t.

At some point through the snow day you’d resorted to games as the snow piled higher and higher. Charades was the game you’d decided would work. Simple, easy, no hosting, no fuss. Bee stood up, hands wildly gesturing, John and Gus throwing their answers in by the handful, which only caused Bee to keep forming the shapes with her hands but somehow more manically, a joking frustration forming on her face. A film title slipped from your mouth, the words tumbled out your felt your mouth form the sound almost involuntarily. It was garbled to your eardrums, it was like the sound was there and then it seemingly wasn’t. Static on the radio. Scratch on a record. A glitch on the screen.The world seemed to freeze in a way. You’d dragged the Doctor, John, to see that film, virtually begging him. He begrudgingly came along sort of, he sat in the cinema mumbling about how this character was an alien- no that one definitely was, the space travel was inaccurate or that historical thing actually didn’t happen like that and I would know because- the memory was cut short, the cold glare of Gus replacing it staring deep within your soul- something was wrong. He mumbled something, you couldn’t quite make out from the weird static that filled your ears.

The room swung back into you, head lightly slamming forward against the force of something, eyes shooting open. Laughter ensued, everything is fine, isn’t it? Another answer fell from your mouth - The correct one - with a smile, the same one Bee always seemed to give, it was met with a roar of a cheer from Bee excited she finally got to sit down, rather than manically gesturing in hopes that someone would guess something it was clear no-one was going to understand anyway. 

It was well into the evening by now, a small hearty dinner simmering away on the stove, you and Bee sat on the kitchen floor, backs against the kitchen cabinets, discussing old memories.

“I literally bumped into John, that's how I met him,” You giggled between sips of wine, like a child on a sugar rush “He was running to somewhere off doing something stupid, and he ran into me, he literally knocked me off my feet and  he pulled me up, said the thing he was doing was so important, so I’d have to come with him so he could ask me out later. I didn’t believe him, obviously, who would- But no he was right, had to save someone’s life, he is a Doctor after all, it’s what he does. But God, he dragged me around for a whole day, my feet were aching by the end of it, just so much running,”

Bee responded with a small, twinkling smile. It was different from the staged one, it felt like a brave act, giggling like a schoolgirl sitting on the kitchen floor in a snowstorm. But for once it felt real, as though there was no question of whether you should be here or not, it just was and that was right,

“Ah well, mine’s nowhere near that fun. We met in the office, worked together for years, he wouldn’t look at me twice, and then one day he just did and something just clicked in him. And he marched up to me and the rest is history,” Fiddling with her ring as she spoke, “It seems like centuries sometimes, and like days others,” At some point she’d stopped laughing and just drifted. Drifted through the sentence. Like silence on the other end of a telephone. It was then you took her in, nothing poised or staged or performed, just her. She was young, younger than you by the looks of things, but the stories she recounted should have made her older, or at least more well travelled. You gently nudged her, light returned almost as quickly as it had gone. 

Soup was distributed amongst the four of you, sitting at the table not too unlike the other day, Was it the other day? The calendar said 1963. No, they're still new to the neighbourhood. They didn’t know about the snow. And that was a common frustration among the neighbours. I’m sure it doesn’t matter. “This is good, darling thank you for making it,” John commented, he must have noticed your inattentiveness, a small look of concern, thoroughly masked under layers and layers of social etiquette. You nodded, mumbled a brief thank you, and squeezed his hand something reserved for gut feelings, it came as almost normally as breathing, this secondary language you’d formed between the two of you.

The meal had finished, plates, everything washed and away. You’d finally dared to crack open the door a fraction as they’d calmed down thoroughly enough to go home. Snow was piled waist height, unmoving. Door slammed shut, try again tomorrow. Gus seemed to freeze at this,then the anger came “This wasn’t what-” He froze again, hyper aware of his actions, he corrected himself, his stance, his demeanour, breakneck speed back to the usual, “This wasn’t what, we expected,” a meak laugh thrown on at the end for good measure. John frowned at this, he’d caught it and his eyes flicked with something unlike him. Something cold, calculating. He saw you and nodded, an indication: Keep calm, keep it together, it said wordlessly.

Sitting at the balcony over your back garden, you both had a moment alone to talk. 

“He’s weird,” You stated, sipping your drink slowly, almost to cover what you’d said.

John stared at you for a moment, almost incredulously, as if he couldn’t actually believe what you’d said, a pit of guilt forming in your stomach.

“He just makes me uneasy, like a tiger, or a bear, or- or a killer whale, or something else weird,” You said wildly gesturing, arms getting flakes of snow on them, as they stretched over the drop. He laughed at you, breaking character just for a moment, “I mean I get it, but we are getting to know them, darling. You’re married to an alien, I highly doubt we’re normal to them,” He chuckled, wrapping his arms protectively around you and placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. Married to what? 

“Huh, what did you just say? I must’ve drifted off in that last sentence,” You said, rubbing your eyes like a small child, desperate to stay up past their bedtime, as the sleep hit you like a sudden wave. He took your face in his hands, “I said to a Doctor,” He followed his statement with a loving frown. “How did I get so lucky with you? Feels like someone planned all this in the best way,” He squeezed your body in a tight hug “Get some sleep darling.” 

The dreams didn’t come that night, at least not one felt like a memory. 

You awoke somewhere unfamiliar, a cyan and purple sky flashed above you in a storm, dirt and gravel were uneven underneath your back, and didn’t help you at all when you tried to stand. Wobbling to your feet, you observed around you, John- No, the doctor ran towards you and grabbed your hand, and pulled you with force. Ash was falling as you ran, making it harder to run, burning heat filling your lungs.

“We have to leave now, it isn’t safe.” He pleaded, “Come on! Run!” The sympathies faded quickly and were replaced with rushed panic. You nodded a silent acceptance, knowing you had to leave. This memory is not yours, you know it. You can feel it in your brain it’s wrong, like the pieces of two puzzles have been mixed up together all wrong. The Doctor pulls you along, you reach something resembling a vessel, at least what of it your brain allows you to see, the rest promptly replaced by static, the same static blocking out words in your brain. Where are you? You ask your thoughts, the static response is the same constant buzzing you feel in the back of your mind, wordless, uncaring, uneventful. You stand in what looks like a control room, fighting back tears, and wretches, as the doctor spins around you readying for flight “Y/N, come on! We have to leave. They’re gone- The sentence starts again, scene resetting down to the sparks flying. She's gone, we have to go, now,” He virtually screamed at you, something he never did and always refused to do. You nodded, gulping between tears, before hurrying forwards to press buttons, and help. The last thing you felt was a bumpy take off, desperately clinging to both the railings and your memories. Where am I? . You awoke, gasping for air, a tear fresh on your cheek. 

Bee and Gus left promptly the next day, thousands of thank yous between farewells. The snow had melted mostly, some occasional flakes, falling like the ash in your dream. The static hummed low and slow in your mind. It stopped for a second, a split second, when Bee hugged you. You felt your body run cold, your question had received an answer. You shut the door after they left and made excuses to John as you retreated into your bedroom and sat quietly. The word rolling around your mind like a marble. 

Dead. 

[audreydoeskaren]

Abridged History of Qing Dynasty Han Women’s Fashion (part 5: Late Qianlong & Jiaqing eras)

(artwork from 1782)

Previous posts:

Late Ming & Shunzhi era

Kangxi era

Late Kangxi & Yongzheng eras

Qianlong era

The last two decades of the Qianlong era, the 1780s and 90s, formed one aesthetic continuity with the reign of Qianlong’s successor Jiaqing (1796-1820). This period was characterized by a turn to extreme formal simplicity and what I believe to be a revival of the tastes of the Ming-Qing transition.

We see sleeves of women’s robes, tight fitting and short to create a practical look in the previous era, become wider and longer. The folded cuff design was retained, though now more difficult to manage as the sleeves became wider. In the last post I discussed how the construction of dajin similar to Manchu men’s fashion became en vogue among Han women and replaced the earlier center front closing robes----this remained the same. We see some of the first instances of binding strips being used around the collar and the dajin, which would become a highly popular and elaborate craft later in the 19th century. Around this time, the binding strips used were usually thin and minimal, commonly of a black color. Plain cloth or bead tip buttons were popularized earlier in the Qianlong era, and metal clasp buttons (zimukou) became increasingly rare. The shape of the standing collar remained the same as that of previous centuries, soft, unstiffened and tall.

Artwork from 1796 showing a group of courtesans. You can see the black binding on some of their robes. A note about the dating of this artwork: while it’s quite a common reference image for Jiaqing era fashion, I wasn’t able to find an exact date until I read about it in the book Pictures for Pleasure and Use by James Cahill (spectacular book discussing the importance of vernacular and commercial art, highly recommend) and he said the date of creation was signed in the cyclical calendar and corresponds to either 1736 or 1796. He was inclined to 1736 because of “similar face shapes” or something to Yongzheng era artworks, but since he wasn’t a fashion historian he probably wasn’t aware that the fashions depicted here would not have been possible before the 1780s, so I think 1796 is instead the correct date.

Late Qianlong/early Jiaqing era artwork, showing two austerely (and fashionably) dressed women.

The more radical departure from the previous era, however, was the complete eradication of ornament. Robes and skirts of this era were often entirely plain, with no brocaded patterns or embroidery of any kind. Gone were the roundel patterns, quatrefoil motifs on collar facings and decorative strips around skirts----only solid color blocks remained. Pastel colors like light pink, blue and green were among the most popular for robes besides bright blue and red, whereas skirts were white or black.

Late Qianlong/early Jiaqing era paintings of the Anglo-Chinese school showing the new style of plain garments.

Artwork from the era showing a woman in a light mustard robe with dusty pink cuffs, white skirt and red sash (sashes were still commonly worn).

The other significant changes happened in hairstyling. The 1780s did away with the iconic tall knots of the earlier Qianlong era, instead moving the mass and volume of hair toward the back. We see the re-emergence of the swallow tail. The front of the hair could be middle parted or completely pulled back. Flowers and other ornaments could be worn on the sides of the hairdo, behind the ears. The general shape of hairstyles stressed horizontality rather than verticality, as was the case before.

A 1943 copy of a turn of the 19th century original, showing the front and back of hairstyles.

Bust portrait showing the new hairstyle.

A unique hair accessory of the 1780s and 90s was a new iteration of the mo’e, which now had a sharply pointed triangular front and was worn high on the head instead of at the forehead. I think it became less common as the 19th century approached.

Export artwork showing a woman musician, likely 1770s or 80s as she is still wearing the ornamented, center front closing robes popular in previous decades.

Minimalism was not to last long, however, and soon decorative patterns began to reappear on robes, sleeve cuffs and skirts. Hairstyles began to gain volume and became more puffed, forming a sort of face framing crown. New styles of decorating skirts appeared, with binding going around the qunmen and the edge of each pleat, and embroidery on each individual pleat. The rectangular or circular patterned patch popular prior to the 1780s returned.

Early 19th century export painting at the Brighton Pavilion, maybe 1810s. We can see roundel patterns on the blue robe, embroidery on the cuffs and skirt, and the lady in red wears a pointed mo’e.

Presumably later Jiaqing era artwork, ca. 1810s, showing a group of women. Floral embroidery is present on the sleeve cuffs, the skirts are decorated.

[shinyshade8026]

oh- since its not really 'headcannons' then maybe just- Facts? idk how to word it lmao

@chaotically-coz

Sure!! I'll just give a but of random ones lmao

BombBerry AU Facts

V, S, E, J, and Asmi all live together in a place that V and S restored after finding Asmi. To refer to this group as a whole I often say The Designation Family

Everyone in the Designation household has a comfy sweater they own. It was Asmi's idea

The DDs and maybe the Solver Users dink cups of hot oil in the morning, kind of like coffee. It helps get their bodies moving and helps unstiffen their joints

They often say Goodnight instead of Good morning because they are nocturnal. It goes the same way with saying Good morning instead of Goodnight before they go to sleep

There is more to Asmi than meets the eye

S often sits at the top of skyscrapers to think since it gives them a good view of the area

There are 4 total used bedrooms in the Designation Household, one for S and V, one for E, one for J, and one for Asmi, but J and E sometimes sleep in each other's rooms because girlfriends

The DDs collectively held a funeral for Tessa once everything was over

N, Uzi, and Cosmo live in a housing unit in the colony

The spire is abandoned, especially because J blew it up in the events of episode 7

Surprisingly, Doll and Lizzy are the ones who watch Cosmo and Asmi when their parents are busy

Nori is alive! She gets a new body and lives with Khan once more

Cosmo and Asmi go on lots of little adventures to abandoned places! Are they supposed to? ...no.

Asmi has gone feral solver before

Cosmo and Asmi met when they were 7 and 6 respectively

V takes S's beanie a lot

V is... surprisingly cuddlable, but only when being cuddled by S

S likes birds of prey as well as snakes

I NEED TO STOP LMAO OH GOODNESS

[xxwelxx]

Unstiffen your hair🚿

[spadecentral]

👬 We Used To Be Best Friends | Ace Trappola x Deuce Spade

>> requested: no >> a/n: I got really sad bc I had a song on repeat and decided to share the pain with everyone because goddamn I need people to feel the same pain I feel and cry for half an hour like I did.

>> masterlist: here!! >> summary: ace and deuce finally meet up after they leave nrc >> reader prns: n/a >> warning(s): arguing

"What happened to us?" Ace asked.

"We used to be best friends..." Deuce said dismissively.

Both men looked severely different from their college years. They had both lost their more... childish natures and had adopted a much more poised attitude.

Neither had talked to the other much since Yuu had left. No one had expected the two peas in a pod, the two Heartslabyul 'froshs', the adeuce duo, to split apart just like that. Yet there they were.

They didn't know who they were even speaking to, really. Both men only remembered the college version of the other. They didn't know where the other worked, how their family life was, they forgot the other's favorite food.

"So uh..." Ace muttered, his hand coming up to play with the hair on the back of his head. "What's happened with you?"

Deuce unstiffened by about a millimeter. "Nothing much. Got a job, bought a house, y'know. Life happened, I suppose."

"Woah, you're telling me that you got a job? You. Loosey-Deucey got a job." Ace joked, craking a smile.

Deuce didn't take it as lightly. "Yeah, so? What's that supposed to mean, Trappola?"

Trappola. The word resonated within Ace's mind. Not Ace. Not some lame nickname. Trappola.

"Ah. I see how it is then, Spade." Ace said coldly, returning the harsh gesture.

Deuce's lips pursed together, a harsh look forming on his face. "Yeah."

"Great speaking to you, Spade." Ace spat. "Truly an enlightening, wonderful experience."

"Yeah, well I didn't have much fun seeing your face either," Deuce responded. "Asshole."

"Repeat that right fucking now," Ace's vision turned redder by the second.

"No. I don't think I will," the blue-haired man crossed his arms.

"Come on, Spade." Ace egged him on, nearing closer and closer to the other. "Say it again."

"No, Trappola." Deuce said. "Cut the crap already. We aren't fucking sixteen anymore."

Ace paused in his approach.

"We don't go to NRC anymore. We don't hang with each other anymore. We haven't since..." Deuce drifted off for a second. "We haven't spoken since Yuu was here."

"How dare you–"

"Shut up, Ace." Deuce said. "Seven above... maybe it was a good thing we stopped talking."

...

Maybe it was a good thing...?

"Yeah." Ace could barely see straight. "Maybe it fucking was."

Taglist: @ch3lun | @oseathepebble | @ventisaircurrent | @epelys | @pastelmages | @tulipluvlettr | @xphantasmagoriax | @atlasnessie | @divinesapph | @mystaposts | @ze-maki-nin | @gh-0st-y

you can always send in an ask to be part of my taglist!

[fl3shm4id3n]

𝓔𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓫𝓸𝓻𝓷 𝓽𝔀𝓲𝓬𝓮

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐃𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐭𝐤𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐍𝐞𝐭𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐦, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧. 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐮𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝, 𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐍𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐲𝐚𝐦 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴍᴇᴛᴋᴀʏɪɴᴀ ꜰᴀᴍɪʟʏ x ᴍᴇᴛᴋᴀʏɪɴᴀ! ꜰᴇᴍ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ (ᴘʟᴀᴛᴏɴɪᴄ), ɴᴇᴛᴇʏᴀᴍ x ᴍᴇᴛᴋᴀʏɪɴᴀ! ꜰᴇᴍ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ꜱᴏɴɢ: ʙᴇᴀᴄʜ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ- ꜱᴘᴀᴄᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ

Tw: reincarnation, reader is getting her memories back, emotional, mentions of gunshots, a bit of angst, confessions, kissing, mating.

A/N: Idk if its true, but I saw that in the Avatar book, Neteyam could of possibly had an interest on a Metkayina girl. I kind of used some of that reference on here. Idk I just like the idea that Neteyam could of had a love interest. (┬┬﹏┬┬) FYI English isn't my first language, so sorry for any mistakes.

P.s. Should I write more about Metkayina y/n in the future?

Masterlist

When you woke up, you noticed how Tsireya was long gone. You had no Idea what time it was, but it should still be morning. You stretched your muscles, groaning while feeling your muscles unstiffen. You then rolled up the mat and put it away, you had stepped out into the main part of the Marui, seen Ronal doing something with some herbs and other stuff. She must have been making healing remedies. When she noticed you, she smiled at you "Good morning" she said, as you got closer and sat in front of her. "Good morning to you to Ronal"

You said politely, then Ronal handed you a small bowl of fruit, you took it politely and thanked her. You ate the fruit in silence, seen Ronal continue her work, you also noticed how big her stomach was, you assumed she might give birth in a few weeks or days maybe. It was obvious that she'd pop soon. "How is you baby?" you asked her, making her focus on you now. "They're strong, they might arrive in a few weeks or days, who knows" she said while rubbing her belly. In which you smiled, seen her rubbing circles on her stomach which carried a life.

"I bet it'll be a boy" you said, catching Ronal's attention again. Remembering the time you had told her the same thing. "You think so?" she asked you, making you nodded with a smile. "I know so, or at least I feel they'd be a boy." You said back to her, seen you smile made Ronal's heart warm up. "If you wouldn't mind, is it okay if you could um... do something with my hair? I kind of want something to be done instead of it being loose." You asked a bit shyly.

Ronal then moved her things away and offered you to sit in front of her. You moved over and sat in front of her with your back turned. She would pull you onto her lap, but you were bigger now. She worked with your thick hair, running her fingers through your scalp, the feeling was lovely. She began to braid your scalp, a bit tightly but not to hard. Once done, she looked at her work, it looked just like your previous look from before. "Done" she mentioned, reaching up you felt the braids on your scalp, feeling three braids on each side of your scalp. "Thank Mama" you said, you had no idea why you just called her mama, but it felt right in a way. Ronal was surprised by you calling her Mama. She didn't know whether to correct you or just wanted to pull you into a hug and keep you in her arms. But instead she just smiled. "You're welcome."

Then Tonowari had entered, seen how his wife and his daughter seem to be interacting with one another. He had a spear in hand, it wasn't his spear, but a replica of the one that remained untouched. Instead it was much bigger than the other one. Then he spoke "I see that you're up" you then turned to him, and bowed your head respectfully to him. He then looked at his wife, who had also looked at her mate. They seemed to be having some kind of silent conversation which lead to an agreement.

Before you could go with the group, Tonowari had taken you to the private beach, the same beach where you and Neteyam 'met' one another alone. "Are you good with a spear?" he asked, as you walked next to him, you then responded shyly. "I don't know." You chuckled a bit embarrassed. The taller na'vi only smiled at you "I'll teach you, don't worry about it" He said as he stopped at the palm tree from yesterday. The one that had been cut up.

You stood on his side, positioning you in the proper way into throwig the spear. You followed his instructions, even though the spear was a bit heavy, you used all your strength to hold it properly. Your first throw wasn't the best, it was your 'first' time learning after all. The whole time Tonowari had been guiding you on how you can do better, it was becoming easier and easier, you had got the hang of it. You may not had been the best as before, but you were doing good.

While you were busy on learning how to wield the spear, Neteyam had been swimming by on his ilu, he had been thinking about yesterday, about his talk with you. He still couldn't believe you were his beloved y/n. The whole time he had been talking with you, interacting with you. Yes you might not remember the past, but you had a new life, a new beginning, and this time he will win you over like the first time. This time he will not fail in protecting you.

As he was on his ilu, he noticed two figures at the private beach, it was you and your father. It seemed as if he was teaching you how to use a spear, that spear looked exactly like the one you had, only bigger. Neteyam watched you with fascination, seen you quickly picking up on how to use the weapon. A spear really suited you, he kind of wants to see how you'd do with a bow and arrow, he'd gladly teach you. You then turned over at the sea, noticing someone going by, you saw that it was Neteyam. Your face then heated up, seen him always made your heart do a leap. Again you couldn't explain the feeling on why you just felt a strong connection towards the forest boy, but it felt like this feeling was important.

Afterwards you went to hang out with the group, you had thanked Tonowari for the lessons, but also notice the look in his blue eyes those same blue eyes that Tsireya had inherited. That look felt warm, seen him with a smile made your heart warm up, this tough and scary looking leader is a loving and proud father. You couldn't explain why you had this strange kind of connection with him just like his wife and children, but the feeling felt as if you had always belonged with them your whole life.

During your time with the group, they first had thought you how to bond with an Ilu, turns out all ilus didn't really have owners, anyone could ride them once they're bonded. But the ilus did have favorite people to ride with. Both Tsireya and Ao'nung had helped you, but the one who had helped the most was Neteyam, the whole time you were close to him, you felt as if your heart was ready to burst out of your chest screaming of joy.

The whole time you and Neteyam were together, everyone also had seemed to notice the two of you sticking side by side that they didn't seem to be surprised. They all shared sneaky looks seen you and the Sully boy interact together the most. They'd also leave you both behind on purpose as well, they really wanted you back, so they believed if you spend more time with Neteyam you'd get your memory back, but also for Neteyam.

The group knew how badly he missed you, he had been sad the last couple months suffering, missing you at every moment, but you had returned in this form. You and Neteyam could start again, and allow your love to blossom like it was suppose to. Sometimes the group would spot you and Neteyam walking together on the rocks or riding on your ilus. They were honestly glad to seen their friend be happy with you, how it should have been.

Days had passed, this had become a routine, everyone had played a part into helping you remember things. They were surprised to see how the process was going well. You had began to call Ronal and Tonowari, 'Mama' and 'Papa' just like when you were younger, even as a teen you had never really stopped calling them those names.

Both Tsireya and Ao'nung were also glad that you were slowly remembering. You and Tsireya would spend time together weaving new clothes for yourself, along with making other things for yourself since your other clothes were smaller to be able to fit. Some of your old clothes were recreated but in your now size, even coming up with new pieces during the process.

Ao'nung the began to play pranks on you, they were harmless pranks, nothing to big like the ones in the past, but he had to start somewhere. First it was him eating your food when you aren't looking, or pulling at your tail to scare you. You'd also fight back, harmlessly play wresting with him and Roxto at the beach. They'd always loose since you'd be the one to have the upper hand.

Neteyam and you had manage to get away from the others, this had been happening during the past few days. He tried to hard from spilling out that you were his mate who died. He desperately wanted to tell you so bad, he was dying on the inside seen you in front of him, not knowing you and him were mates. Again you were at the private beach, just casually talking. You had asked him about his life in the forest and other things about his childhood. He liked knowing you were interested in him just like the first time you had met.

He also paid close attention to you, he wanted to get every new detail of your new form. You did look like your human self, but you also looked like Ronal. He remembers your past self mentioning to him that you wished you could be a Metkayina and look like one or both like your parents. It turns out Eywa had listen to your wish and brought you back as one of the people, but also blessed you with the Tsahik's beauty.

As you talked to him about how things had been involving your health and your process of your stay. You continued to stare at you, but not a strange way, but in a loving way. He noticed how on your left side of your chest near your shoulder, you had a birthmark. But he knew better, the origin of this so called birthmark had been where you were shot. He thought that it would scar, but instead it turned into a birth mark.

That day was one of those days, you two had run off together again. You had been wearing something new, you and Tsireya made it together. You top had various colored pearls and sea shells, with a small net that had small glowing rocks. As for your loin cloth, you wore a long white tassel skirt that went well with your top. You have not taken off the anklet, the small piece of jewelry felt like a special gift that you did not and should not take off. In Neteyam's eyes you were just the most gorgeous being. He also did not miss the beads in your hair, the same beads that he put on you the day before you got grounded.

He noticed how the sun had began to set, slowly going from a blue into an orange later to be followed a deep purple. This was his chance. "Hey, I'd like to show you something" Neteyam said, catching your attention. "Really? What is it?" you asked, but he didn't answer. Instead he took your hand and lead you away from the private beach into where the Ikrans were located. When you saw the banshees, you were a bit nervous since you've never seen near an ikran.

Neteyam had approached his banshee, bringing you closer to it as well. "Don't look at him in the eyes" he warned softly, then you looked away from the creatures eyes, focused on the green and dark blue patterns. He had guided your hand into petting the beast, their skin was soft but also a bit rough. He helped you hop on the creature first, then himself right behind you. "Put your hands here" he said, as you then got a hold of the saddle, then you felt him wrap his arm around your waist. "Ready?" he asked you. "Ready" you said a bit nervous. Then he latched his queue onto his banshee and the best took off into the air.

You gripped tightly onto the handle of the saddle, feeling the air hitting your face due to how fast the creature was going. At first you were scared, but then you felt Neteyam's arm squeeze you a bit, as of letting you know that it was okay. You then took a deep breath and opened your eyes. Seen how high you were from the ground and close to the sky, you felt the softness of the clouds lightly touching you. The view was beautiful.

You both continued to fly a bit more, around the village. Out of curiosity, you wanted to try something. You raised your arms up, side to side feeling the cool air hit you body while Neteyam held you tightly. It felt just like the first time he had taken you flying, it had felt like this the whole time since you both began to hang out more together.

You then landed on a small cliff that was a bit away from the village, you and Neteyam sitting on the edge, watching the sun slowly going down. It was happening again. You looked over at Neteyam who as on your right, smiling at him. "I had fun" you said those exact same words. Then Neteyam took your hand into his "I'm glad" he responded. Then you both stared into one another's eyes for a moment. Who knows how long you and him stared into one another. You did not want to break the eye contact, you also didn't notice how close you and him we now getting.

Until you were face to face, you felt your face heat up, seen him this close felt magical. "May I... May I kiss you?" Neteyam was first to break the silence. You responded back "You may" he then placed his warm palm behind the right side of your neck and his thumb under your ear. Then he leaned in slowly, both you closing your eyes and leaned into each other's lips. It was a small peck at first, but you kissed again, this time more passionate then the last.

During the kiss, you felt something hit your chest, then all of a sudden all of your memories came flooding in. Everything was coming back. Your childhood memories, your recent memories, everything began to appear in your mind. Since the day you had learn to speak and walk, to the last time you were in your week long sleep, but they stopped where you and Neteyam had confessed to one another, here in this very spot.

You then pulled away a bit to fast, gasping for air, this made Neteyam worried. "Pearl? Are you okay? Did I hurt you in a way?" he asked, you looked at him in the eyes, filled with worry. "Neteyam, Its me. Y/n" you said, making his face turn into one of confusion. "Y/n?" he asked, you nodded your head fast. "Yes! It's me! I'm-" you stopped and looked down at your hands, your once human features were now of a Metkayina na'vi. Blue-green skin, fins on your arms, four fingers and a tale. "How did this-" you continued to look at yourself as Neteyam then took your hand into his. "Don't worry about that now, you're back and that is all that matters." He said kissing your palm softly.

"Was I na'vi the whole time?" you asked, shocked by your new body. "Yes, one day you washed up into shore, no one knew where you came from, but your mother found out that you had been returned back to us, but in this form." He said, now everything made sense, you were given a new chance in life, your biological mother was right, it was not your time.

You felt your eyes flood with tears, happy that you were given a new chance to live. To be with a your family and Neteyam, but before you'd got to your family, you had to do something first. "Before we go, I'd like to do something first" you said reaching over to get your queue. "What do you mean?" he asked, until he saw you with your queue in hand, then he got the idea. You and Him will mate. Neteyam then reached for his queue. "I know we're not at the spirit tree, but I'd want to mate with you here, in this very spot were we confessed to one another." You told him, seen the smile grow on his lip. "I don't mind, wherever you go, I'll follow you."

He said, making your face feel hot. "Are you ready?" You asked him, Neteyam nodded, you saw how sure he was. "Here goes nothing" you said, both of you slowly bringing your queues together, until they were now touching. Softly the tentacles wrapped around one another, making you and Neteyam feel as if you were tickled. You flinched at the feeling, then you felt your eyes dilate. Locking eyes with Neteyam, seen his pupils had also turned wide. Once done, you both panted a bit at the feeling, officially now being mated for life.

"It is done, we're mated for life" You said, seen that Neteyam's smile grew wide, you also smiled, happy that you and him are mates forever. "I see you y/n" he said as he once again placed his hand on the back of your neck, slowly leaning in. "And I see you, Neteyam. Ma Neteyam." You whispered, again kissing one another like the first time. This time it felt magical, it must have been due to mating a few seconds ago. Then you both pulled away and making your foreheads touch one another, with your eyes closed, being one another felt as if nothing mattered. It was just you and him together. Then Neteyam whispered for only for you to hear.

"Ma Y/n"

[iknow-thisisallinmyhead]

Ahhhhhh! It's heeeeerrrrreeeeeee!!

The Holiday Lie | December 19th

Agreeing to be a fake date for your best friend is all fun and games until you have to lie to his sister’s face. - 12k - read on ao3

After an hour-long drive out of Harrisburg, the rental pulls to a stop in front of a big, yellow Colonial house. Snow covers the roof, adding to the illusion that a reindeer drawn sleigh has landed there. Multicolored string lights wrap around the large picture windows, off for the day, and a herd of white light reindeer sprawl across the lawn, snouts tucked down in the snow or raised high to the sky.

The house sits in the middle of the block, looking festively picturesque among similarly decorated homes, with a warm and welcoming glow inviting us in. A dalmatian shaped mailbox denotes it to be 118 Crow’s Nest Point, a fact that always cracks me up. I’ve been friends with Buck long enough to have heard about the Crow Incident of 2016- the story changes almost every time it's told but one thing always remains the same: a never ending war between Chimney and all crows he comes across. 

Buck clears his throat, bringing my attention back inside the car. He’s wearing a dopey grin while staring up at his sister’s house, soft and serene in the midmorning light. “Home, sweet home,” he murmurs happily. 

Chris’s dry reply floats up from the back seat. “I thought you never lived here.” 

“True, I have not! But it's always been more of a home than the house I actually grew up in.” With a shrug Buck opens his door, nearly falling out of the cab in his haste. A frigid gust of air blows in, sending a shiver down my collar. Before following my best friend into the icy Pennsylvania morning, I shore up my mental walls in an attempt to prepare for the coming week.

I think back to Thanksgiving night; the blond sitting dejectedly at my kitchen table, wringing his hands on the surface, an untouched slice of pie pushed off to the side. He looked so sad and frustrated; another failed relationship, another missed opportunity for happiness, another piece of evidence that he would be alone forever. He was a storm cloud, dark and gloomy and ready to crack open and unleash a hurricane of negative emotions aimed at himself. I couldn’t let that happen. Couldn’t let him turn inwards and close off to start the assault. And I couldn’t say no. 

I never can when it comes to him.

Leaning back against the seat, I run a hand over my eyes. Seven days, I just have to get through the next seven days. Chris opens his door. I can hear the grin in his voice as he calls, “Coming, Dad?” 

“Coming,” I mutter, unbuckling and getting out.

Buck’s already halfway up the walk, practically galloping with no regard to the ice and slush. His hand is raised, waving at the figures standing in front of a bright blue door. Jee-Yun leaps off of the porch, throwing herself into Uncle Buck’s arms. He catches her, scooping his niece up and twirling; little girl a blur of pink tulle and rainbow sparkles, candy cane striped tights and purple snow boots kicking out as Buck spins around and around.

Maddie pulls her eyes off of the excited and endearing reunion and smiles at me in greeting, reaching out to wrap me in a hug. It takes a beat too long for me to unstiffen and reciprocate the embrace but she holds me tight, rubbing a soothing hand up and down my back. “I’m so happy you and Chris made it this year!” she says pulling back. Her fingers slide to my shoulder where she squeezes once before letting me go. “I’ve been waiting for years for Buck to tell me you two finally got it together and got together! You’ve always made him so happy, Eddie, and I can never thank you enough for that.” 

The words are a sharp lance of guilt to my gut. Her eyes are so sincere as she looks up that I can’t maintain eye contact, dropping my gaze to my boots and the slick step below me. Agreeing to be a fake date for your best friend is all fun and games until you have to lie to his sister’s face. 

“Yeah.” I chuckle awkwardly and step out of her arms, looking over my shoulder at Buck. He’s flat on his back in the snow, lifting his niece up the while making engine noises. Jee’s cackling wildly, arms spread out like a plane. I can’t fight the smile that lifts my lips up at the sight. Turning back to Maddie, I shrug. “He makes me happy, too,” I admit, glad I don’t have to hide this stupid grin that only Buck can pull out of me. It’s all part of the lie I agreed to tell, right? Even if it's not a forced reaction. 

Maybe this week won’t be so bad. For once, I won’t have to pretend that I’m not in love with my best friend. I just have to pretend that he loves me too. And I’ve thought about what it would be like enough, spent far too many hours daydreaming about, that I can probably do it. I think. Maybe. Can I do it without breaking my heart in the process? That’s the real question. Only time will tell.

“Christopher! Look at you!” Maddie squeals.

“Hi, Maddie,” Chris says with a grin. He’s on the step below me, lifting one poison green crutch up as he waves.

“Come here!” Chris happily wraps his arms around her. He’s always been a big hugger, just like his mom and has no problem eagerly reciprocating her embrace. “You’ve gotten so tall!” 

The teen chuckles. “Are you sure you just aren’t getting shorter?” 

Maddie reels back, mouth hanging open in feigned shock. 

“Rude,” she says, wagging a finger at him.

A peal of laughter announces Jee-Yun’s presence as she runs up onto the porch. “Me too, me too!” she calls, skipping around. She’s holding two very wet Hello Kitty mittens in her very pink hands instead of wearing them. “I got tall too! I grew seven inches!” She jumps up, catching a few inches of air before landing back down with a wobble. “I grew seven inches!”

“Close, Sweet Little,” laughs Maddie. “You grew three inches since your last doctor’s visit.” She holds up three fingers, demonstrating how many inches the girl grew. “Now, let’s get you inside so we can warm those poor little hands up.” She reaches for her daughter, but the girl jerks back, stamping a tiny foot on the porch. 

“No, Mama! I grew seven inches!”

Buck snorts, amused by the five year old’s antics. I’m caught off guard by how close he’s gotten without my notice and end up jump a little. He quickly reaches a hand out to steady me, fingers splaying across my lower back and sending a current of electricity up my spine. Even through the thick coat I’m wearing I swear I can feel how warm his hand is, swear I can feel that warmth as it bleeds into me. He turns up the wattage of his smile, a ray of light breaking the clouds on this overcast day. There’s a tight, warm feeling in my chest and I can’t help it. The stupid grin is back. 

“Careful, it’s just me. I’d hate for you to fall and break your neck.” 

“If I fell you’d save me.” I’m sure of it, Buck wouldn’t think twice. He’s built for saving people, he was just born that way. It’s what makes him such a good firefighter. Those bulky arms would be around me before either of us could process what’s happening, before I’d ever be in any danger. That's just who he is. I may or may not have entertained a daydream or two like it over the years since I’ve acknowledged my crush; Buck catching me in his arms, holding me close, eyes darting down to look at my lips… 

He raises an eyebrow at the comment, self-doubt automatically scrolling across his face. The smile falls from his lips, hiding the sun back behind dark clouds. “You would! You’d never let me leave Christopher without a father.” I say dramatically, trying to bring it back, needing it back. But the words aren’t quite true. If I died Chris would still have a-

“You two lovebirds gonna come in or what? I’m not paying to heat the outside, you know?” 

Startling, we rip our gazes away from each other. A blush burns across my face and I have to look away from Maddie too, away from the knowing, amused expression on her face. She’s standing on the threshold with her hands resting on the door jam, pointedly looking around the empty porch. When did Chris go inside? Surely Jee-Yun hadn’t gone quietly. I didn’t even notice as they left us alone. One smile from the taller man and I’m a goner, floating through space with a tether connecting me to Buck and Buck alone, like no one else exists. I sigh internally. 

I’m getting too old for this kind of shit. 

Grinning, Buck pushes past his sister, stepping over the threshold and into the house. So I do what I always do, what I’ve done since we first met; I follow. It’s warm inside, too warm, and I immediately pull off my coat. The Buckely siblings disappear down the hall, but Chimney pops up out of nowhere with a hand outstretched so I pass over the tan, weather proofed material.  He pulls open a closet already over stuffed with colorful winter garb and shoves it in, glancing sheepishly back at me as the coat crumples into a black hole. Sardonically, I wonder if it'll ever be seen again. He slams the door shut, leaning against it like it'll bounce open again if left to its own devices.

“Eddie,” he says nonchalantly. 

“Chimney.” I nod. Overhead, there’s a squeal of delight followed by pounding feet running down the hall. My guess is Jee-Yun has already dragged her uncle up to her room.

“So, how’d you manage to get roped into this?” The shorter man asks with a knowing look in his dark, beady eyes. 

Wait, what? My stomach swoops like it does when you miss a step going downstairs. I didn't even know that could happen when you're standing still. Chimney crosses his arms, waiting for an answer but I’m stunned speechless. He can’t already have figured out that we’re lying, can he? 

“You were better off keeping it a secret, you know.” Shaking his head, he clicks his tongue in disappointment and I can breathe again. “We’re not the kind of family that gives you privacy.” He steps closer. “There’s no privacy, Diaz, you will spill all of your secrets to us.” Lowering his voice to a whisper, he adds. “All of them.”

Knowing it’s a lie, I say, “Oh, I don’t really have any secrets.” Buck’s smile flashes in the back of my mind, big, and full of teeth, and just for me but I wave it off. 

Before I’m able to push him away, Chimney’s got a hand fisted in the collar of my flannel. He drags me closer, pushing up onto his toes to level the distance and stare unblinking into my eyes. I’m starting to think he’s drunk, but it’s not even noon yet. He certainly smells like beer. 

“We all have secrets, Diaz.” 

“Howie, get off of him. I cannot believe you’re tipsy at eleven o’clock on a Monday morning.” Maddie comes to my rescue, pulling her partner off of me with an exasperated sigh. 

I adjust my blue and gray plaid shirt, smoothing out the collar. “Tipsy?”

“Mads, you know we have to pick the holiday special brew before we open today! I think I picked my favorite three: The Sam Adams one is okay but really I don’t think it’s what people want to buy for half off the week before Christmas. I really think we’re better off going with Highland Brewing or, oh, the Nutcracker Ale! That one was top notch!”

“Howie, honey, whatever you want! Just don’t break my new brother-in-law!” The title burns my ears as another lance of guilt pierces my belly. She pinches his cheek before shoving him unceremoniously through the doorway to the dining room. There's a cackle as Chimney very loudly trips and falls, moaning and groaning the whole way down. Sighing, Maddie shakes her head fondly. “I don’t know why I ever think pairing Howie and Hen together is a good idea.” She smiles at me and I feel guilty again. I’m not even doing anything right now and I feel guilty. “Jee kidnapped Uncle Buck and brought him upstairs, and Christopher and Albert are putting on Home Alone in the living room. The Lees should be here within the hour and we're planning on having lunch at the pub. Do you know when you have to check in at the Snowflake?” 

“Check in is at noon. Worst case scenario we can meet you at the pub after.”

“Okay, perfect, you can leave Chris here, if you want, and we’ll bring him over.” I nod at the suggestion. “Now, I’m going to tell you this because Howie is currently unreliable and Buck’s gonna be distracted for a while: I have to drop cupcakes off for the school’s Holiday Bake Sale. I will be gone for a half hour, forty-five minutes tops. And if you really want to prove that you deserve my brother you can get Howie to drink some coffee and sober up some before his parents get here.” She steps forward, coming up to press a kiss into my cheek. Before I can respond, she turns around and picks up a tupperware container filled with sparkly red and silver cupcakes, her keys, and a to-go tumbler of coffee. Then she’s gone; shouting a goodbye to her partner as the door swings shut behind her. 

All alone, my fingers reach up to press against a tingling cheek. This lie is going to be the death of me. 

With nothing better to do, I glance around the entryway. There's a mirror hanging across from me with festive silver tinsel wrapped around its edges. Surrounding the frame are dozens of snapshots taped to the wall: candid family photos, old pictures of Chimney and the Lees and of Maddie and Buck, and various group shots throughout the years. My heart beats uncomfortably when I find my own face staring back at me. 

The first- and oldest- photo is from the first Christmas with Buck. Chris is holding his new game console, a huge grin plastered across his face, while Buck and I are positioned on the couch behind him. It's a familiar picture; one that Tia Peppa took, one that hangs on my fridge at home, one that I have spent far too long staring at since I connected the dots on all these inconvenient feelings- how it ended up on a wall in Pennsylvania I don't know.

Next is one from the grand opening of Kevin’s- the pub Maddie and Chimney launched a few years ago. I don't even remember the moment I'm looking at; Buck and I are sitting at the shiny new bartop, grinning at each other over the beer bottles that we’re toasting. Chimney's in the background, arm curled like he's about to whip his bar rag at us. 

The last one is also from the pub opening, a group shot this time. Everyone important to the publicans are there: Hen and her wife, Karen, who own the nearest café, Bobby and Athena from the Christmas tree farm out on the edge of town, Anne and John Lee, the couple who raised Chimney to name a few I recognize. And then there's me and Buck. Taking in the way my face is forever immortalized on their wall, I can't help but sigh disparagingly.

We’re all grouped in front of the pub, a sash of cherry red satin taped across the doors. The owners are holding a pair of comically large scissors about to cut the ribbon and we’re all crowded around them to be in frame. Buck and I are standing at the back, mostly cut out of the shot given the size of the group. Everyone’s looking at the camera, or at the giant scissors- even Buck is, eyes trained up front towards his sister. But I'm staring right at him, seemingly unaware of anything going on around us. 

I remember how anxious I had been that day, surprised Maddie and Chimney wanted me in the photos, but worried Buck would think it was too much, too clingy, too awkward. Who was I to infiltrate his family unit? Our friendship was only a couple years old at the time and my feelings were just reaching a boiling point I couldn’t keep ignoring. I can see them all plain as day, frozen in time in the way only photos can capture. It's there in the way my whole body seems to curve towards him, the way my head tilts back so I can see him, the way my eyes are shining like they're filled with stars. 

It’s fucking embarrassing. I’m honestly amazed that no one’s ever picked up on it. 

“Diaz!” 

Jumping, I turn just as Hen steps out of the dining room, looking intimidating in a black tracksuit and her signature flashy glasses. She’s always seemed way too cool for a small town like Fire Station, but somehow manages to fit right in. Thankfully, she doesn’t try to hug me, just grins over the lip of a winter themed beer bottle. “Karen and I are so happy to hear you finally pulled your head out your ass and told Buckaroo how you feel! It was so obvious from the way you trailed after him like a lost puppy dog. Not that he was any better.” She pats my shoulder gently and then points up to the same photo I was just looking at. “So obvious.” Shaking her head she snorts, heading off down the hall and muttering about the bathroom. Listening to her walk away, I catch a glimpse of my face in the mirror across from me. Crimson blooms across my cheeks, splotchy and bright.

I sigh. Once upon a time, I bottled my emotions so much that no one could get a read on them. I’m pretty sure the only reason that changed is over six feet tall with curly blond hair and a set of frosty cerulean eyes that make me weak in the knees.

“Edmuuuundoooo!” 

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. The faint call echoes down through the ceiling followed by another loud thump. Sighing, I set off in search of my best friend and his nightmare of a niece. Not that I'd ever call her that within earshot of Buck. He'd never forgive me.

Heading into the living room, I find Albert and Chris set up on the sectional, a bowl of popcorn between them as Catherine O'Hara drags Macauley Caulkin past his siblings and cousins to deposit him on the third floor. Albert looks up, helpfully pointing over to the stairs where the sounds of giggling and thumping, louder than before, are emanating from. 

True to Maddie’s nature, it looks like a holiday bomb exploded in the house, covering the room in festive shrapnel; ribbons and tinsel and tiny villagers galore. Garland and lights twirl through the hand railing and balusters leading to the second floor and wrap around the mantle. Red bows and embroidered stockings dangle above the fireplace, currently cold, and more than one Elf on the Shelf can be spotted perched throughout the room. There’s something off about it all but it doesn't come to me until I'm heading up the steps. There’s no Christmas tree. A week before the holiday and they’ve yet to put one up. Weird, considering the Yuletide vomit covering every surface. 

On the landing, I come face to face with a large, framed photo of a much younger set of Buckley siblings. Buck's no more than sixteen, tall and skinny and gangly with an arm slung proudly around his sister. Maddie’s beaming in a horribly orange graduation gown, clutching a diploma in one hand and a massive bouquet in the other. He looks so young, so innocent and sweet. I wish I'd known him back then, wish I’d been there when all he had in the world was a sister. I wonder how many things would be different and how many things would still be the same. Wonder if more time together would make it easier to give in, to confess, to show him how much I-

“Edmundo saaaaave me!” Buck's call pulls me from my head. A delighted peal of laughter follows it a second later, full of joy and wonder. Trailing after the racket, I find more family photos and pots of poinsettia, fairy lights and holiday cards, and a small fake Christmas tree with a second, smaller village underneath it. Why would there be a tree up here but not one downstairs? They have a fireplace and a five year old, the tree should be by Santa’s preferred entrance, shouldn’t it? 

There’s a door cracked open at the end of the hall, a riot of color within but still it's Buck's blond curls that catch my eye first. He’s face down on a cotton candy pink shag carpet while Jee-Yun balances on his back, pigtails bouncing. Her purple boots are long gone, ditched somewhere in the chaos and her red and white striped feet are walking up and down his spine. Toys are scattered all over the place; falling from the overflowing bins under the windows, spilling from underneath the bed, and dangling haphazardly from the net strung up in the corner of the ceiling. The closet doors are thrown wide and a rainbow is escaping in the form of dresses and tutus, tights and shoes, and even more toys.

It’s an absolute disaster and I hope it was like this before Buck came up. It’s been, like, five minutes, is it even possible to make this much mess in that short amount of time? Considering what I know of the little girl and her frenzied energy, yes, it is possible. 

Jee-Yun loses her balance, tiny feet sliding off Buck’s back until she’s got them on the carpet on either side of his ribs, hands pinwheeling until she’s sure she’s not gonna fall any further. She straightens up and lets out a demonic giggle. “Again, again, again,” she squeals, jumping back onto her uncle. He lets out a groan and I can tell from the way his body jerks that it doesn’t feel good to have forty pounds come crashing down on your spine like that. Jee wiggles around, earning a loud crack from underneath her feet. 

Buck finally sees me standing in the doorway. “Edmundo, save me!” He lets out a couple of fake coughs, reaching a hand towards me but pausing halfway through the gesture and letting it drop to the carpet. With a final cough, he goes boneless, melting into the carpet.  

Jee-Yun’s own brown eyes light up as she clocks me. “Uncle Eddie!” She starts clapping, jumping up and down, up and down on Buck’s back. The blond grimaces, air rushing out of his mouth with every bounce. 

“Okay, Jee-Yun.” I step forward, reaching out to pick her up and salvage my friend’s back. She must have other plans, though, as she bends her knees and catapults herself off Buck and into my arms. Giggling, she wraps her legs around my waist and rests her head on my shoulder, squeezing as tight as her five year old’s arms will allow. 

“Merry Christmas, Uncle Eddie.” 

“Merry Christmas, Jee,” I murmur, squeezing back. 

She gives me one minute of stillness, one minute as she hugs me and whispers she's happy I'm here, before wiggling her way to freedom. As always, my heart constricts at how easily she thinks of me as part of her family. From the moment she was born Maddie started calling me Uncle Eddie, despite my insistence it wasn't necessary. Any type of protest was met with a scoff or an eye roll until I gave in and accepted the title. 

“You’re Buck’s best friend right? You’re not going anywhere. She’s gotta call you something so Uncle Eddie it is.” Her tone brokered no argument. To this day, I will deny that it made me choke up more than I ever did with my sisters' kids.

When Jee-Yun’s back on her feet she darts out of the room and disappears down the hall, leaving a trail of sparkles and laughter as she goes. Two minutes with her and I’m already exhausted. I look down at Buck, still lying on the plush carpet. He rolled over at some point and is propping his head up with a hand as he gazes up at me. He looks dumbstruck, all wide eyes and parted lips. 

I arch an eyebrow. “What?” 

Is it my imagination or does Buck blush at the question? There’s a few splotchy raspberry patches cropping up along the apples of his cheeks. He quickly looks away, though, clearing his throat and getting to his feet. 

“Nothing, just uh-” he starts before clearing his throat again. “Just, uh, thanks for doing this, again. Getting teased every year about always being single is so depressing! I know this is awkward and I-I’m so sorry that I involved you in a lie like this, I just- I just-”

“Hey,” I interrupt, not wanting him to spiral already. We just got here. “I got your back, Buck. Always.” I clap a hand on his shoulder, heart somersaulting through something viscous as I gaze up into the expansive blue of his eyes. There’s only two inches difference, why does he always seem so much taller? “No matter how awkward and weird and inappropriate the request is, remember? We made a deal five years ago and I intend to keep it.” 

Buck reaches up, scratching at the back of his neck and looking away again. Why does he always look away? I never can, not really. His face is slowly getting more and more color; a pretty pink that matches his birthmark. No doubt caused by the unbearably high thermostat setting.

“Five years ago fake dating was not on the table.” 

“No, but honestly? Not the weirdest situation we’ve gotten ourselves into.” I grin, wishing he would meet my gaze. It feels like I spend half my life wishing Buck would look at me, this shouldn’t be any different. But there’s a sinking feeling in my gut that’s telling me this week is going to make everything about us, about our friendship, about Buck-and-Eddie different. 

Just not in the way I’ve spent years hoping for.

There’s a thump in the hall, distracting me from the anxiety crawling along my spine. Someone much bigger than Jee-Yun is making their way down to us. Buck’s eyes are still looking everywhere but me, hand running up and down the back of his neck and head. He looks guilty and sad and it feels like my fault, why does it feel like my fault? I let my lips fall, erasing the smile and stepping back. “Come on,” I say, holding out my hand. “Maybe we can snag some of Chimney’s winter ales before we go check in?” 

Finally, he looks back at me with a smile lifting up the corners of his mouth; small enough that I’m still worried but big enough that I can feel my heart do another somersault. He reaches out to grab my hand and I know it’s just for show, I know it’s just to keep up the ruse, I know that it means nothing, not to him, but it still sends a sharp electrical current up my arm.  

One of these days, Evan Buckley will be the death of me.

We bump into Albert in the hall, wearing what looks like a full cup of coffee down his front. “She’s absolutely insane,” he tells us, shaking his head as he steps into his room. 

There is a crash and a squeal from the floor below and Buck and I turn to each other, eyes wide. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had to wrangle a kindergartener,” I whisper. 

He jostles our hands between us. “We got this.” 

[kairoseas]

( 1 / 2 ) Yuuji sits outside the execution chambers, his kimono folded in a funeral arrangement as he looks down at his hands, down at the patterns on the floor. Megumi announces his presence with a gentle knock on the doorframe, coming in with a solemn expression as he folds his arms, almost like a preemptive comfort. "I can't change your mind? This is it?"

"... you'd really let me live, knowing that at any time, Sukuna can just feed you a finger again?We both know he's not satisfied with me, he wants you." "Of course I would. I love you, and I'm starting to suspect you don't believe me." Megumi answers without any pauses, firm as he stands there. "I do believe you, though. I do, and I don't want to be a walking threat to you." Yuuji answers, his eyes not daring to come up to meet the steel staring down on him. "Umi, nothing good will come from sparing me a second time." "I don't want this for you." Megumi's voice begins to waver, his brows knitting upwards in worry. "I don't want you to go." he says again, and in a bid for Yuuji's mercy, he walks forward to crouch and put his knees on the floor, biting his lip with stubborn nerve as he bows his head to the floor, resting his forehead down against it, both palms pressing to the cold floor. "please, don't do this." he speaks to the ground, his eyes shut, praying with all his remaining heart that it would be enough to convince him, the light of his life, to not go through with this. If it didn't, then all his bets were on Gojo, who was arguing with them as they spoke, using the final finger as his negotiation tool. Yuuji, too, moves from his seat to the floor, both his knees down against it as he shakes his head. "It's not about that." he tries to convey, his own lip unstiffening, wavering, shaking as he builds up the courage to speak again; "I love you. I do, so much. I love you so much that I want to make the world a safe one for you, for everyone. Gojo-sensei, Kugisaki, Okkotsu ... and you too. If me doing this guarantees you all get to experience normal deaths ... surrounded by the people you love ... then ... it's not so bad ... right?" "My world is no good without you, don't you understand that?" Fushiguro bites a bit, from frustration at the situation than actual anger, from sadness and bitter regret that someone else he loves is going to throw their life away. Another good person, so wholly, fundamentally good, is going to throw their life away. "My world will be dark, empty, and full of shadows. My world will be missing the light you brought to it. if that's my world, then I don't want it!" his eyes well, bringing his desires to the physical world via tears, Fushiguro's desperation made manifest in the world. somehow, Yuuji finds the spare breath to express his fond exasperation... and he can't help but feel his own eyes start trying to well up and overflow. "You're not... gonna let me do this, are you?" with a resolute stare, Megumi lifts himself up, determination glistening among the emotions in his eyes. "If you do this... then I'm following you." "Following me?" "To wherever people go when they die." "Umi..." Yuuji attempts to dissuade him with a shake of his head, but Megumi immediately retaliates, stern, "No, you don't get to call me that when you're... trying to leave." "Do...you want the truth...?" "Have I ever implied I wanted you to lie to me?" There's a brief laugh, and it doesn't transfer in the least. As Megumi stares at him, Yuuji shrinks a little, hunting the words that he wanted to use to explain himself and his thoughts. "... I don't really wanna die." "Then don't!" came the hound's instantaneous response, and Yuuji meets his eyes then, "But ... what do I do then!? I can't go back to living a normal life, I have no purpose as a sorcerer...!" continued here.