#unreleased fics being released

[starseungs]

from the past, beyond the present, and into tomorrow. ksm. ( teaser )

kim seungmin x fem!reader — following the last wishes of her beloved grandmother, y/n finds herself moving back to her family's hometown. deep into the countryside and miles away from the bustling noise of the city, the change was supposed to be a new experience. that was, if only the mayor's son didn't bring along years of unknown familiarity with him.

GENRE/S — drama, slight angst, slight fluff, just sentimental, soulmates au, multiple lifetimes, high school au, a slowburn • teaser: 2.1k words (10k+ overall fic)

WARNING/S — y/n gets referred to with she/her pronouns, setting is heavily influenced by japanese environments (but still made vague enough for other preferences), main characters are aged eighteen, possibly more to be added upon release.

NOW PLAYING — tracing that dream by yoasobi

( ✒️ ) this is the product of seungmin covering one of my favorite songs ... now im gonna make him a shoujo anime love interest !!! and yes the teaser is long asf. i, too, am concerned about the total word count of this fic. (road to 20k wc i guess)

( 📌 ) STATUS: UNRELEASED • TAGLIST IS OPEN !

2024 ⓒ starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.

You had dreamt of a specific scene once when you were thirteen.

At least, you were the one who considered it a dream. It was something you had tried to bury in the depths of your mind—locked away in a tiny chest placed in the furthest corner and behind closed doors. If it were someone else, you knew that they would’ve already exhausted all means to figure out what the dream meant.

After all, it certainly wasn’t every day that you got to dream of something that felt so vividly real to the point you could’ve sworn it was a memory.

But it wasn’t. It could never be.

Why?

Because in no reality could an authentic memory be of a time that shouldn’t even exist yet.

“I won’t ask you to congratulate me,” the vessel you were seeing the world through spoke. In the scenario being played out, you could feel yourself smile warmly. You could only guess why the positive action was contrasted by such a somber tone of speaking. “Never once have your eyes lied in front of mine.”

The sound of joyous laughter that surrounded the area almost felt too jarring to compare to the mood present between what was supposed to be you and another male. He sat completely still, unmoving amidst the dim evening despite your earlier comment. Flickers of embers from the sizable-looking campfire reflected in his eyes, telling of the fact that the absence of a response was not because of a lack of focus but rather his inner thoughts getting swallowed up by the burning flames.

His looks would range him older than eleven. Yet, you didn’t seem phased by it—not even in the slightest. Perhaps this was something you should have expected. The voice that came out of you was notably not one of an eleven-year-old either. So you gave up on the matter.

Instead, you waited for an answer to what you had previously uttered. Even if it was just a simple hum that came out of his mouth.

He let the fire crackle a bit more.

“Does it make me a bad man to say that I envy you?”

The breath that you didn’t even know you were holding escaped your lips the second he spoke. “I’m afraid I don’t quite understand what you mean,” was your reply.

The silence came back for a second. Surprisingly, it didn’t seem as heavy as the one you two had just broken. You watched his movements, almost mesmerized, as he took his eyes off the fire. The concentration only faltered when his sight came up to meet yours. “You’re off to go do greater things over in the big city,” he starts. “And yet, here I am, getting left behind in this quiet town. A place not a single soul even yearns for—where everyone starts off but never stays.”

It was odd. The way you felt your heart race at his words.

To be completely honest, you didn’t think much of what he had just said. You didn’t even know exactly what it meant—both for you and for him. Yet, the sudden spike of adrenaline in your veins told a different story. It was making you feel breathless while also making you tear up.

“You could always come with me.”

He shook his head. Did he just reject your offer? “It’s no use. My life’s responsibilities will still lie here. What would I even gain from leaving this place?”

Another beat. You could care less if it was of silence or your heart. In what seemed like a blink, the environment felt too overwhelming for you to function in. It was almost like you were sinking. Down deep to who knows where.

Though muddled, you tried your best to bring yourself back to the forefront by listening to the variety of other sounds outside the small bubble you two had created. Children running around screaming with laughter, adult men howling with amusement at whatever conversation they were in, and a female voice yelling to prepare the fireworks.

How fun. A celebration right next to a brewing storm. All under the same night sky.

“But,” you forced the words out. “You also have your own dreams.” His eyes softened at the mention. The way your heart shattered echoed a little too strongly throughout your body.

“That’s why I’m letting you go like this.” The young male smiled, making sure to let you know it was only directed at you. “So that at least one of us gets to achieve them.”

Your lips quivered. “Why do you speak as if I’m never going to come back for you?”

Silence again. You were beginning to develop an intense dislike for them.

“That’s just the way the world works,” was the response that came to soothe your growing anxiety. “It doesn’t revolve around a certain person. And it certainly doesn’t revolve around me. Go and live the life you want without any regrets. When the time comes that you’ve done everything you’ve wished for in life, come and find me again.”

A shake of a head.

“I could always just stay.”

A weak chuckle.

“Then, neither of us will be able to grow.”

A clench of a hand.

“What if I take too long?”

A minute passes by. You’ve come to really hate these momentary pauses.

He stands up. “There will be no such thing,” the young male assures you, moving closer only to stop at arm's length. You fought the urge to reach out and hold him. “Even if it takes multiple lifetimes, I’ll always be here. Waiting for you.”

“What if you forget about me?”

The world fell into one last hush. Your well-held tears finally started falling one-by-one, just like the first drops of rain. He sighs at your state, taking another step forward.

“I really don’t think I ever will.” He cups your face gently to look at him. “That’s why to you, who my heart will always choose in every lifetime—”

A loud bang. You watched as the fireworks bloomed into the sky through his glistening eyes.

“—Please live well until you come back to me.”

Hushed whispers filled the room.

You should’ve expected this. No matter the place, all high schoolers were bound to be the same, either one way or another. If you really had to make sense of it, your best guess would be that it was simply human for them to act this way. Universal traits are what makes a species. Perhaps you would’ve found it much more uncomfortable if the students in front of you didn’t find your situation interesting. After all, the genuine interest seeping out of those youthful eyes did make the atmosphere a lot lighter. At the end of the day, you could never actually fault them.

Still, enduring the poor attempts of adolescents trying to keep their curiosity hidden for more than a tick of a clock was harder than you thought. A part of you so badly wanted to believe that it was because this whole ordeal was tiring—bothersome, even. Unluckily for you, your brain knew a little bit too much for its own good.

Next to the classroom’s front door, one of your female classmates drops a pen accidentally. You watched it roll down two seats away, only to stop underneath the chair of a guy who was animatedly discussing something with another that was to his right. The latter enthusiastically reciprocated the conversation; his seemingly dominant hand spinning a blue-colored pen while doing so. You balled your hands, only to release them not even a beat later. They felt slightly damp.

You were nervous.

“Settle down now, class!” The homeroom teacher, Mrs. Cheon, ordered. Like well disciplined soldiers, the students quickly ceased all sound. Their undivided attention made you swallow heavily. “Starting today, we have a new addition to our class. Let’s all listen to her introduction.”

Your eyes almost popped out of their sockets at her order—only barely holding back from painting shock all over your face. This was not the plan you were made aware of. You wanted to protest. Throw a tantrum like a little child at the way she had just thrown you into a den filled with lions with no choice but to fend for yourself. Back in the faculty room, she had clearly stated that she was the one who was going to introduce you to the class. What was the point of asking you all the standard information about yourself if she wasn’t even going to use it?

Mrs. Cheon merely stood there, anticipating for you to start. Her neatly managed fingers were laced together behind her back, presenting the dark purple dress she was wearing in all of its glory. You kind of wished it was brighter; just so you could complain about her blinding you without seeming rude. Now you realized that you shouldn’t have trusted her words in their literal sense. It was foolish of you to believe that all you had to do for your formal introduction was to stand there until you were settled.

You took a discrete, heavy breath.

“Hello to you all. My name is Y/N,” you start off as cool as you could manage. “Eighteen. I just moved here from the city, so I am still in the process of getting familiar with the environment. Please take care of me.”

If you could give yourself a pat on the back at that moment, you would’ve. Unfortunately, you had yet to get a grasp on how things worked around here, so it was probably better not to do anything that would make you stand out more than you already did just by being new. And who even transfers schools two months into their last year of high school? Plus, with their stares so intently directed at you like they were studying a fascinating specimen, you couldn’t lift a single finger anyway. So you settled for pursing your lips instead.

A male student with puffed cheeks from the second row raised a brow at you. You bit your cheek lightly. Great.

“It seems like that’s all for Y/N’s introduction,” Mrs. Cheon says, clearing her throat. You internally glowered at the way she awkwardly moved on. You could only wonder how painful your introduction now seemed. “You’ll be seated next to Seungmin. Raise your hand, please.” She ordered.

To which not one soul followed.

If you had not enforced every single ounce of control you had, you were sure your jaw would’ve dropped to the ground. This was already proving to be one of the worst moments of your life, and yet life seemed way too eager to make it even more unforgettable. Your eyes snapped to the figure sitting on the slot in the back row, right next to the windows.

Granted, you already knew who this ‘Seungmin’ was. It was quite obvious, really. The only other desk free to use in this entire room was the one next to the guy you were currently burning a hole through with your gaze. He was staring out the window without a worry in the world, seemingly lost in his thoughts. His posture screamed relaxation, and anything more than that meant infusing into the wooden chair he was leaning back on.

While normally you would have found this guy relatable, right now you could just wish that he finally acknowledged Mrs. Cheon’s call so that you could now erase your presence for the rest of the day.

Luckily for you, it seemed like your homeroom teacher was also getting impatient.

“Kim Seungmin!”

The male with the same name as the one just yelled out leisurely broke off his staring contest with that one cloud in the sky to give you two at the front a glance. It was then that you finally got a good look at him.

His black hair was cut short, brushed down into bangs, but not enough to cover a notable undercut. Despite his clean appearance doubled by the meticulously ironed uniform that hung on his figure, his face was grim in a way that showed great dislike for the situation. You wanted to scoff at the frown decorating his lips, sending everyone the clear message that he had just been bothered. Fighting off the urge to twitch an eye at the slight scrunch of his nose was proving to be the most difficult challenge of the day.

“Oh?” He reacted monotonously before raising his hand as requested. That obviously meant he did hear Mrs. Cheon. “Yeah, here.”

You grit your teeth, already feeling an overwhelming sense of annoyance radiating out of you. From what it looked like, he felt it too—shifting his gaze from Mrs. Cheon to meet yours. Yet, your eyebrows furrowed as the feeling dissipated the moment your eyes locked.

Huh.

How come he seems awfully familiar?

FIC TAGLIST ━ STATUS: OPEN — ASK OR COMMENT 🫶

@fairyki @hysgf @euncsace @comet-falls @starlostseungmin @ameliesaysshoo @hyunverse @wnbnny @xocandyy @minluvly @moon0fthenight @estellaluna @hanjsquokka @starlostastronaut @soobnny

[paradiseprincesss]

OMG OMG OMG. now i KNOW you aren’t taking requests. but im helping you out with your cillian story. reader is having an affair with cillian, they meet either on set or at an awards show and she’s whipped for him. but he just won’t leave his toxic wife. all to the song fantasize by ariana 🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️

fantasize - cillian murphy x reader

masterlist

notes: thank you to my pookie @ilovetoxicfictionalmen for helping me with the idea of this entire thing she served and she did not come to play i love her - okay so this is my first actual cillian fic and lowkey i was nervous to post it but slay? this is lowkey based off the ariana grande scandal lol and also completely based off fantasize by ariana grande (unreleased). also sorry if theres any mistakes i edited it but i got lazy like halfway through lmaoo

summary: cillian falls for a young, talented singer who finds out he's married, and she gives him an ultimatum; either get a divorce and then she'll give him a chance, or don't ever talk to her again because she's not that kind of girl. after nearly a year of not speaking, news breaks that he's divorced his wife - and suddenly, he shows up to her home in los angeles begging for her love because he can't seem to forget about her.

word count: 9.1k

warnings: 18+ mdni, smut, cheating/affair, divorce, age gap (unspecified but reader is early 20's and cillian is 47), fingering, p in v, general smut obviously, pining (a tad bit), pathetic desperate cillian, cillian doesn't have kids in this au

"over here!"

"one more, just look here for a second, gorgeous!"

"are you going to be performing tonight?"

"when is the album dropping?"

the cameras flashed in your pretty face, and the reporters and paparazzi continued to yell out questions and take pictures of you as you walked down the carpet in a rush to get inside.

tonight was the oscars - it was a pretty big deal in hollywood, and as an a-list singer, you were invited to attend of course. yes, you were fresh onto the scene, so young you had barely finished high school by the time your name was being plastered in the tabloids, but now a few years later, you were a household name. your voice captured the hearts of many, and you were ever so grateful for your adoring fans.

after the release of your debut album, your fame skyrocketed. barely entering into your twenties, you already had multiple musical awards ranging from ama's to grammy's. there wasn't a person alive who didn't know your name. not only were you a talented singer who's voice hit octaves that could shatter glass, but you were a beauty icon.

with your iconic sense of style and that gorgeous face of yours, you weren't hard to miss. everything down to the last detail about you had many swooning, including some of the biggest names in hollywood. tonight, you wore a stunning, black, sultry gown custom made by vera wang herself, and matching black pumps that were from valentino. your stylist absolutely delivered on your hair and makeup so tonight - all eyes were on you.

you were rumoured to be performing at the oscars this year. the rumours had started to circulate a few weeks prior with fans getting all amped up about a possible performance from you. however, tonight you were just there to attend and look stunning on the carpet, as well as maybe catch up with some of your fellow celebrity friends. you weren't the type to step out onto every red carpet, so when you did, you made headlines.

as you stepped away from the flashing lights and the buzzing reporters, you finally made your way into the venue where the oscars were being held. this year, they had set things up a little differently than they usually did. most of the time, it was like a theatre of some kind. rows and rows of seating like you would see in the movie theatres, but this year, they switched it up. instead of the normal seating arrangements, they had cloth covered round tables with name plates.

your team got you seated at a table quite close to the front; the venue was already pretty much fully packed once you got inside, actors and singers alike were all mingling with each other. tonight, you were seated at a table with a few other young singers and talented individuals - billie eilish and olivia rodrigo being two of them.

"you look amazing." billie said to you as soon as she noticed you, and olivia looked up from her phone with a smile. "you totally do, i love this dress on you!" olivia agreed sweetly.

"oh my gosh, look at you two, though!" you say, excitedly catching up with two of your closest friends in the business. the three of you continued chatting for a while amongst yourselves, and billie pointed to the table diagonally across from yours.

"dude, cillian murphy is sitting over there - holy shit." she laughs, and you and olivia peek over at the table billie gestured to.

there at a table sat the cast of oppenheimer, and even for someone as famous as yourself - you were starstruck at the sight of him. he was undeniably gorgeous...and definitely way too old for you. you were aware that cillian was a very private guy, never really stepping out into the public eye other than to act or do a quick interview every now and then, but seeing him in person had your head spinning. he was even better looking in person than any photos that you'd ever seen of him.

as you, billie, and olivia stared at the seasoned actors and actresses seated across from you, cillian glanced over - and all three of you looked away, feeling like silly, teenage school girls. "shit," you giggle, "that's embarrassing."

"awkward." billie laughed, and olivia laughed along with the two of you. the topic of conversation switched quickly, and the three of you continued to talk about everything under the sun. eventually, the lights started to dim and the room started to go quiet as the host stepped out on stage. you'd never been to the oscars before, only other award shows, so you were watching in awe as this was your first year attending.

throughout the award show, you stole little glances at cillian; he was mesmerizing, and his blue eyes were truly breathtaking. halfway through the award show, cillians name was announced and he accepted an oscar for his performance in oppenheimer. you applauded along with the rest of the crowd, and he did his little acceptance speech before joining the rest of the cast back at his table.

while he stood up there, you couldn't help but notice how perfect he was - not a flaw existed on this man. as you watched him with hearts in your eyes, you almost felt your heart leap out of your throat as the two of you made eye contact for just a second. however, he quickly returned his gaze to something else, almost looking flustered to have looked your way.

afterwards, cillian and the rest of the cast all did a little cheers to his award. they put their champagne glasses down and continued to watch the host on stage. whilst many talented actors and actresses went up to claim their oscars, your eyes were focused on something else - rather, someone else.

you couldn't help but keep looking over at the older man across from you; nobody in hollywood had truly captured your attention the way he did. love at first sight, perhaps. sure, your sweet personality and jaw-dropping beauty had many a-list men and women swooning, but you never felt inclined to date someone in the same industry as you - they usually had a reputation. there was always something wrong with them, whether they were substance addicts or a serial cheater; you didn't want to stick around and find out.

your heart rate spiked when those stunningly blue eyes you'd been staring at all evening suddenly locked with yours once more, and you looked away hastily, out of both sheer embarrassment and awkwardness from being caught staring. you immediately started to pay attention to the award show, not daring to glance back over at his table. after the host wrapped up the show, everyone got ready to head to the oscars afterparty.

you made your way to the venue with billie and olivia, along with some other young women your own age, and headed straight to the bar. you ordered a cosmopolitan, then another, and then one more. after socializing and drinking, you went to one of the many tables scattered across the room. sitting down, you sigh and sip on your third cosmo of the night.

"excuse me," an smooth, irish accent came from beside you, "d'you mind if i join you?"

looking up in awe, you see none other than cillian murphy himself - looking handsome as ever in his suit - standing with a glass of whiskey in his hands. you felt at a loss for words, but nodded and swallowed. "not at all." you say, gesturing for him to sit.

"i'm sorry," he laughs softly, "i had to come over and say hi. i'm actually a bit of a fan. i watched your performance at the grammy's a few months ago - you're incredibly talented. you have a beautiful voice."

as he tells you this, you felt your jaw drop. cillian murphy, the man himself, thought you were talented? you look at him with an adoring smile, and nod as you took everything that he said in. if you were being honest; you didn't think he even knew who you were.

"that means, like, so much coming from you. i saw oppenheimer and your portrayal of him was amazing. everything you do is...amazing." you gush, and he smiles bashfully. honestly - you found it quite endearing that he was even approaching you and talking to you like this; wasn't he well known for being so reserved and frankly, a little shy or even awkward?

"ah, i appreciate that." he smiles softly, "it's admirable how successful you are - especially for someone so young."

you bit your lip as he mentioned your youthfulness, feeling both mentally and physically weak in the presence of this man. you felt your head spinning; was this really happening right now?

you shrug, trying to play it off as cool as possible. "i appreciate that, truly." you say softly, looking at him with the same starstruck expression as before.

he was quiet for a good minute, taking in your every detail. you noticed his eyes lingered to the dip in your dresses neckline, before speaking again in his gorgeous irish accent.

"m'sorry, you must get this all the time, but you're absolutely stunning." he says casually.

you thought you'd misheard him at first when he said those words. this was cillian murphy of all people - and he was casually throwing out compliments to you. not to mention he was more than twice your age; it was almost morally wrong. almost, but it seemed that neither of you seemed to care about that. not that you really should, anyway.

"t-thank you! i think that, um, you're..." you stammer out, but trail off. you were three drinks in, a little past tipsy, and so utterly starstruck by him that you couldn't muster up the courage to tell him how attractive you found him.

he seemed to understand your nervousness, and gently, he placed one of his hands on your upper thigh with a soft laugh. "nerves?" he asks sympathetically, and you nod your head, laughing along with him. "it's your first time at the oscars, right?"

"yeah," you confess with a smile, "sometimes, i feel like i'm still not used to the whole 'celebrity' thing."

"understandable, you're s'young. it only makes sense." he tells you, once again reminding you of how young you were in comparison to him, whilst his hand was literally resting on your thigh. "if you want, we could go back to my hotel room to chat. you know, to ease your nerves if crowded rooms aren't your thing."

you almost had to stop yourself from fangirling out loud, and with a small nod and a soft smile, you take him up on his offer. "y-yeah, okay. sure."

you were almost certain that he wasn't taking you back to his hotel room for the sake of rescuing you from your social anxiety, but you let it slide. i mean, he's cillian murphy - you'd let just about anything he did slide.

he softly took your hand in his, walking you out to the exit with him, and a few people glanced over in surprise. you tried to pay them no mind, but you knew how it must've looked to others. cillian and you got into his car with his driver, and the both of you headed back to his hotel. once the two of you got to his room, he closed the door behind him and threw his suit jacket over the back of the couch.

you stood there a little awkwardly, mostly because you were so nervous, but also because you'd never been this close with a man so much older than you before. cillian made his way over to you, and softly put his hand on your waist, his thumb trailing little circles over the fabric of your dress.

"is this okay?" he asked softly, and you nodded.

"mhm." you answer, looking up into those striking blue eyes of his.

his other hand trails up your spine, and then to the back of your neck, running his hands through your hair gently. softly, he pulled you closer, closing the gap between the two of you. you were in shock; but you kissed back. it was electrifying. here you were, standing in cillian murphy's hotel room, kissing him. you thought that surely you were dreaming.

the two of you continued to share a few more kisses which then turned into making out, and suddenly you were laying back on his bed with him on top of you. he continued to kiss you deeply, hands roaming all over your body until something seemingly got stuck in a loose thread on your dress. as you both pulled away hesitantly, you noticed something on his hand gotten stuck on that loose thread - a ring.

and no, it wasn't just some regular old ring, and surely not one just to accessorize. the gold band shone on his ring finger, and you saw it for what it was - a wedding ring. you looked down at the ring, and then back at him. how could you have not seen it before?

it seemed in this moment, he knew he'd fucked up as he cleared his throat and started to stumble over his words.

"i-it's not-" he tried to explain, "i'm leaving her."

you looked at him in shock, and in the heat of the moment, you pushed him off of you with a scoff. "you're married?" you ask angrily, "are you fucking kidding me?"

"yes, but-" he tried to interject, but you weren't having it.

"that's disgusting," you spat, "have some respect, jesus christ."

you were already getting up from the bed, grabbing your purse from the kitchen counter as your designer heels clicked against the wooden floors. everything went south so quickly; from when you met to how you ended up in his bed, making out - it was all just one big blurry mess to you now. you didn't know he was married, and if you did, you never would have accepted his offer to come back to his hotel room - let alone let him put his hand on your thigh.

"wait, please-" he begged, following you as you collected your things, "i can explain."

"really?" you asked sarcastically, "you can explain how you're married, yet you decided to take a woman less than half your age to your hotel room?"

"yes," he exasperated, "i'm leaving her, i swear. we're getting a divorce."

you scoffed, this wasn't the first time you'd heard this excuse. hollywood men were sleazy. this was a known fact, and you'd lost count of the amount of men who had slid into your dms telling you that they were getting a divorce or leaving their woman for you. it's not like you ever replied or cared to give in, but still - you knew what they were like.

cillian knew what he was saying was wrong on so many levels - but he couldn't stop himself when it came to you. within seconds of seeing you, you drove him wild. you were a type of beauty he'd never seen before, someone you just feel instantly drawn to.

"well," you say, after a riviting moment of silence, "we'll see about that." you turned to grab the door handle with your purse thrown over your shoulder.

cillian suddenly reached out to grab your arm out of instinct, not willing nor ready to let you go just yet. "please," he sighed, "please - just give me a chance." he said, feeling extremely pathetic for begging like this.

you stayed silent and shot him a stern look, and he took this as his opportunity to continue whatever tangent he was already on. "i'm trying to divorce her as quick as i can but it's just so complicated" he explained, "you're just so gorgeous, fuck, and you're- you're everything i want- no, need."

you stayed quiet for another few seconds, once again trying to process what was coming out of this mans mouth.

"listen," you sigh, "i don't mess with married men, i'm not that kind of girl - but if you actually go through with that divorce - if you're genuinely serious about that, then maybe we can talk."

and with that, you pushed his arm off of you, stepping out of his hotel room and slamming the door behind you. as much as you wanted him to be yours - you knew it was wrong. you were meant to be on your own, not with a man who was married to another woman. what kind of woman would that make you if you were to let something happen between the two of you? you could never do anything like that. i mean, you would but, you were just too nice - and too hot.

you found his driver outside of the hotel, and you told him to drive you back to your hotel. that night, you took a steamy shower to try and clear your mind - but you couldn't shake the thought of him. usually, you paid no mind to any men, married or not, but if you were being honest; you couldn't stop fantasizing about cillian.

you couldn't help but think of him in all the wrong ways while you were laying in bed. you didn't even know why. that night, you had trouble falling asleep, your mind was far too occupied by fantasies of what it would be like to be his. this was only the beginning of such fantasies that would play out in your head for many months to come, but you didn't stop yourself from imagining them.

you'd fantasize about him all the time. if he was yours, you'd give him every part of you, nine to five and five to nine. your life hadn't been the same since you met him. sure, you hated it at first but soon, those little fantasies started to fuel you. you knew he was crazy about you, too. he'd even create little burner accounts to stalk your social media to see what you were doing - but you never wanted to give off the impression that you felt the same. at least, not yet you didn't.

it had been a hectic last few months with all the award shoes and red carpets that came after the oscars, but now you had some downtime. award season was over, and that meant you had more free time to stay out of the public eye and work on your second album, which you were excited to share. however, there was another small reason why you chose to stay out of the public eye.

photos of you and cillian, hands intertwined, had leaked to the media. apparently, the two of you in your inebriated states didn't notice some fans lingering around the area hoping to catch a glimpse of some celebrities. those people snapped some photos of the two of you, and then sold them to multiple media outlets.

the backlash was what you expected - sort of. the media had painted you to be the innocent one in this scandal, and rather cillian the one in the wrong. to be fair, that's what the truth was anyways, but you were glad that in this day and age, you had the internet backing you up and not ripping you to shreds. there were multiple articles talking about how "cillian murphy, 47, tried to take advantage" of you and how he was straying from his wife for "someone who was more than two decades younger."

you were pretty silent on social media for a while, and you only got around to updating and posting like you normally did just last week. the comments scared you as you weren't sure what people would have to say, but everyone was surprisingly supportive of you. there were minimal to no comments about the whole cillian murphy scandal, and things seemed to have died down just as quickly as they started.

now, a few months later after those pictures head leaked - cillian was still with his wife who he claimed he was "divorcing." you knew that it was most likely a front, but deep down; a part of you wished he had gone through with it, and even worse - you wished you had gone through with throwing caution to the wind and having your way with him that night. as wrong as it was, you felt your heart aching at the thought of him. sure, you were young and you didn't really know what love was, but you were pretty certain that this. was. it.

you wanted to know so badly why he was still with her, he was clearly not happy and had wandering eyes, so why was he still staying? it was a puzzle to you, and you felt yourself overthinking the simple question constantly, often letting it consume your daily thoughts. cillian wished he could tell you why, but he knew it would sound shallow. if he was being honest - he didn't love his wife. maybe at first when they got married when he was your age he did, but definitely not anymore.

their love had grown stale, and it's not like he really had a reason to stay faithful anymore besides his morals, but those morals didn't do him any good whenever he thought of you or better yet, saw pictures of you. him and his wife didn't share any kids together thankfully, and he often found himself zoning out every time they spent time with one another; his thoughts going to you instead. his wife had indeed seen the pictures of the two of you, but she was determined to let it go. apparently, the two of them were going to marriage counselling for it.

you scoffed at the idea when you read an article about it because you thought it was ridiculous. there was no point saving a man who didn't want to be saved, it would never work. but of course, you kept this all to yourself - you didn't want to give off the impression that you were okay with being the other woman because you weren't. shamelessly, you would constantly search his name up on social media or online to see any articles with updates about his marriage - and yeah, you were aware how bad that habit had gotten.

your fantasies were vivid, the memory of his hands trailing up and down your body on repeat in your mind all the time. the feeling of his lips pressed up against yours on that one, fateful night - you couldn't forget it. but that's the thing, as much as you wanted him and so desperately craved him - if he wouldn't leave her, you knew you couldn't force him to. you weren't going to wait forever, especially for a married man, and cillian knew that if he let you go, he'd come to regret it for the rest of his life.

his wife could tell. she knew that his mind was always going back to the thought of you - she could see it in the way he was acting towards her now, the way he touched her, the way he spoke to her - it almost seemed like he would try and pretend that she was you.

"honey, i don't know why you're so upset." cillian calmly explained to his wife, who was currently shouting at him in their shared home in dublin.

"you aren't even trying, cillian! it's like you don't care anymore - after over two decades of marriage you're just done?!" she screeched at him, and he rolled his eyes in frustration.

"oh, come on," he groaned, "don't be like that."

"oh, really? like i'm the one who had an affair with someone less than half my age." she sneered, and he knew that technically, she was right. she hadn't cheated on him, but he did cheat on her.

"were going to marriage counselling for it, i don't understand why you're so mad at me! i told you, we didn't even go past kissing." he huffed, and his wife was seconds away from losing it.

"how does that make it any better?" she yelled, "i know you still think about her, cillian. i went through your god damn phone! i saw the accounts you made to see what shes been posting. i know you wish that it was her in bed with you at night, sleeping by you. i saw the way you were looking at her in those pictures!"

cillian went silent at the bomb that his wife just dropped - and he couldn't even deny it anymore. of course he wished it was you in bed with him at night, and yes; if he had it his way, you'd be in her place instead. he imagined what a life with you could be like; the two of you living in a quiet, little suburban house with a few pets, and a beautiful garden - and you with a wedding ring on your finger, not his wife who he stopped loving years ago.

"you're thinking of her again, aren't you?" his wifes voice brought him out of his thoughts, and he looked at her as she had tears in her eyes.

"don't cry, please-"

"do you even love me anymore?" his wife sobbed quietly, interjecting. he sighed, staying silent, and she continued to speak to him through her tears. "i think it's best if you get it out in the open - maybe you hoped i wouldn't notice, but i've been married to you for over twenty years. i know you, cillian."

with a sigh, he looked down in shame. he couldn't bring himself to say anything, it seemed that his words got stuck in his throat at this very moment.

"your silence is enough of an answer," she said quietly, "but tell me cillian, you owe it to me after all you've put me through - do you love her?"

"i-i don't know i-" he stammered, knowing full well what the truth was; he did love you. he fell in love the moment he laid eyes on you. he fell in love with your youth, your radiance, your beauty, everything about you made this man weak. he'd barely known you for an hour and yet, he could confidently say that he loved you.

"you do know," his wife murmured, "you and i both know."

"well maybe i do," he whispered, "i can't change how i feel."

"twenty years, cillian! does that mean nothing to you?" she yelled, her rage apparent now.

"what do you want me to fucking say?" he spat back, knowing full well he was in the wrong here; but all his morals went out the window at this point, "i can't undo what i've done, and i'm sorry, okay? i'm sorry, but i also can't change the way i feel about her!"

"what's wrong with you? i don't even know who you are anymore!" she screamed at him, and now both of them were going back and forth, the argument escalating at an alarming rate.

"i don't care!" he shouted back, making his wife angrier.

"so, what now?" she screamed, "d'you want to get a divorce? is that what you want?"

"you know what? yes! in fact, i've wanted one since before i even met-"

"don't say her name." his wife spat, and that pushed cillian over the egde.

"i'm getting the divorce papers by the end of the week, and you're going to fucking sign them, i'll tell you that much." he seethed, and his wife started to throw whatever she could at him in a blind rage. as cillian ducked away from a dish being hurled at him, he decided to get one last dig in. "oh, by the way - i knew from the moment i met her, i'd much rather that she have my last name instead of you."

when you read the article titles and news headlines, you felt your heart drop.

"oppenheimer star cillian murphy and his wife have seemingly split - here's what we know."

you quickly wash down your glass of wine, and put your phone down in disbelief. you felt the guilt sink in slowly, and it made you want to cry; you couldn't help but feel like this was your fault. that you destroyed a marriage, and you had taken a man from another woman. you knew if that even if you weren't a hundred precent of the reason they divorced, you were at least a part of it. you were sure of that.

when you found out about his apparent divorce, you were shocked to say the least; you had finally come to terms with how he was probably never going to have the guts to leave her, and that was okay with you now. you didn't want to get dragged into a messy scandal, you were okay with letting him do what he wanted - he wasn't yours to keep, anyway.

up until now, he just didn't have the heart to leave her, as the media would think he'd only left her because he got the fame, and now he wanted some young, hollywood beauty. sure, it was partially true that he had left her for a younger woman that he so desperately wanted, but they didn't know how much he loved you. the media didn't know how badly he needed to have you.

and now that you were in the picture, those rumours would look like they were true - and it would be an absolute mess. the media would eat it up. so now, to force yourself to try and move on, you were talking to a bunch of other guys, but they just weren't him.

today, you were at another event where you were currently sitting at the bar, waiting for your favourite cocktail; a cosmopolitan after your second glass of wine. tonight, you needed it more than ever. this was a huge event, as you were one of the biggest stars attending, along with some other big names in hollywood. you heard about who else was going to be there, and cillian's name was included in that conversation. you felt stupid for thinking he wasn't going to be there, his fame had skyrocketed after oppenheimer - of course he'd be there.

tonight, you made waves as you walked the red carpet in your stunning, custom made gown by none other than donatella versace herself with the perfect mix of accessories and matching heels. you looked dolled up.

oh, and you also came with another man. that's right; you walked the carpet with your rumoured new boyfriend, evan peters.

when people saw the two of you step out onto the carpet together, they lost their minds. evan was quite a bit older than you, but still - he was a little over ten years younger than cillian. once the two of you were posing for pictures as the flashing lights consumed your vision, he wrapped his arm around your waist and kissed your cheek softly. the photographers were eating this up; and they were shouting your name left and right, along with various questions.

"over here, look over here!"

"how long have the two of you been together?"

"did you have an affair with cillian?"

"what happened with cillian murphy?"

"did you hear about cillians divorce?"

the questions were progressively getting more invasive, and the two of you stepped into the venue of the event, wanting a break from the cameras and flashing lights. evan headed to the bar with you, but excused himself for a moment.

of course, the moment you were alone, you saw cillian, along with some other cast members from oppenheimer, walk in. you recognize pretty much all of them right away, and you do your best to look unengaged and pretend that you didn't even notice him.

cillian saw you instantly, but before he could even say anything or go over to you - he saw your new man return to the bar, wrapping his arms around you from behind and placing a soft kiss on your cheek. in that moment, he thought he could actually feel his heart being ripped into two, but he kept his composure and smiled at his cast-mates happily.

"another drink already?" evan teased, a smile on his face, "everything alright?"

"mm, yeah. everything is fine." you say cheerfully, even though deep down your heart was hurting at the fact that the man now sitting in front of you wasn't the man that you were in love with. "i just get a little overwhelmed at these events, you know that."

"right, i'm sorry." he says softly, taking your hand into his. "you look gorgeous tonight, sweetie."

the way he complimented you and the environment you were in felt all too familiar, and flashbacks of your night with cillian came flooding back into your mind. you mentally shook them right out of your head for the night. you didn't want to hurt your own feelings again, so for the remainder of the night, you avoided him and stuck by evans side.

cillian on the other hand thought he was going crazy. did you see the news articles about his divorce? were you in love with someone else? did you even think about him?

the following weeks had gone by in a blur as you were currently promoting the anticipated release of your upcoming album, and things were going so well for you - but you felt empty inside. you thought you were losing it, driving yourself insane over a married (well, no longer) man who you'd kissed for a few minutes in a hotel room.

two weeks ago, you broke it off with evan. you were certain it wasn't going to work, he was such a sweet guy and you knew he deserved someone else because your heart didn't belong to him. it belonged to cillian as much as you didn't want it to.

what was it with you and this man?

after breaking it off with evan, you debated texting cillian. perhaps it was just bad timing and now that he was divorced, things could work. maybe you just needed a little time apart just so that you could make your way back to each other. as you picked up your phone to try and muster up a text, you opened your social media to see that tmz had a new article up:

"cillian murphy and estranged ex-wife seen out together in dublin - what does this mean for the former couple?"

and below, there were pictures of him and his ex-wife walking side by side on the streets of ireland, and a few pictures of them in a little cafe together, seemingly just talking - but this was enough to drive you up the wall. you were done; you were out the door, and he was out of chances.

bye.

if he couldn't make up his mind, you would make up yours. opening your text messages, you scroll down to his contact. it had been months since the whole oscars incident, and neither of you had ever talked after that - he didn't even reach out to you after his divorce. so, you figured that this was just a waste of time; maybe it was best to move on from the fantasies in your head.

and with that, you blocked his number and tried not to let your anxiety consume you. to be honest, you were sort of hoping that maybe things would've worked out between the two of you; it felt like it was meant to be - but now you weren't too convinced.

currently, cillian was cooped up inside of a hotel room down in los angeles and he knew that you'd most likely seen the pictures, everyone had at this point. he tried to message you for the first time since the hotel room fiasco, but as he tried to explain it to you, his texts kept going green - you'd blocked his number. he tried calling, but the line just went dead each time.

the pictures were taken so out of context, but how would you know that? you wouldn't. in reality, cillian had agreed to meet up with his ex-wife as they were supposed to talk about divorce settlements. that was all. the two of them walked around, enjoying the sun as they tried to talk about it civilly. his estranged, and now ex-wife, took the whole situation surprisingly well.

sighing, he grabbed his car keys and his jacket, and got into his car while speeding recklessly down the freeway; his heart beating exhilaratingly. as he sped down the freeways of los angeles, he took a moment to appreciate the beauty of it all. the palm trees and the pink sunset - it reminded him of you. vibrant and beautiful. so young, so reckless, and so carefree.

as you were winding down for bed, you heard the doorbell of your beachfront property being rang repeatedly. in a state of confusion, you make your way downstairs and started wandering towards the front door. who the hell would be on your doorstep ringing your bell at such an hour? swinging the door open, you find cillian standing there like a pathetic, love-drunk fool.

"are you fucking kidding me?" you deadpan, looking at him with an expression that said the same thing as your words. after nine months he decided to show up at your doorstep? how did he know where you lived?

"i know," he began, "i know i look insane but i'm- jesus, i'm fucking crazy about you."

you stare at him wide-eyed, as this was not what you were expecting to see this evening. "cillian," you sigh, "i saw the pictures-"

"i can explain," he interjects, his voice laced with desperation, "please."

there he was; standing outside your house in the middle of the night, begging for you because he couldn't let you go. begging after he'd left his wife of twenty years for you.

"fine, just come inside. i don't want any more leaked pictures online." you grumble, opening the door fully so he could come in.

once he got inside, you closed the door behind the both of you, walking to your living room together. this was the first time in months that you'd actually talked - and even though you tried to deny it, your heart was racing at just the sight of him stood there, desperate for you. as you sat across from him on your couch, you looked at him silently, letting him say what he needed to.

"i'm so sorry for the mess that i've created." he said quietly.

"you should be." you respond cooly, trying not to let his words effect you in any way. you knew better.

"i know the last nine months have been insane," he says, looking at you with remorse, "but i mean, you can't deny what we have. i've never felt this way about anyone - i wouldn't have divorced my wife if i didn't think this was something worth fighting for."

you rub your temples, "cillian," you groan, "you can't be saying shit like that."

"why not?" he retaliated, making you scoff. "you told me to reach out to you once i was divorced and you'd maybe give me a chance. i'm doing what you asked me to, baby please-"

"don't baby me," you scoff, "you didn't tell me from the beginning that you were married. let's say i do forgive you, and we do this for real - how can i trust you?"

"i-i don't know, but i'll do anything i can to make this work." he pleaded, "i haven't stopped thinking about you since the day i met you."

"jesus, you're crazy." you groan, and to that he agreed.

"yeah, i know," he agreed, "m'fucking crazy about you."

you threw your hands up in defeat as if to say "well?" and he just looked at you in awe, his salt and pepper hair complimenting his gorgeous blue eyes. he continued to stared at you. he certainly wasn't trying to hide hide how attracted to you he was.

"the pictures of you and your ex-wife..." you said quietly, looking away from him, "i can't trust you, cillian."

"we were just talking about settlements," he said, "you know better than anyone how the media is; they blow shit out of proportion and take everything out of context. i swear that's all it was."

"you can't just show up like this..." you trail off, a frustrated sigh leaving your lips.

"is this because of your new guy or somethin'?" he huffs, and you roll your eyes at him. "no," you explain, "i'm not even seeing him anymore, we broke it off weeks ago."

"oh," he says, his eyes lighting up, "well, that's good to know."

it was silent for a moment, the two of you sitting there in each other's company, both lost in thought.

"why?" you ask suddenly, the question lingering in the tension filled air.

cillian looks at you confused, "what?"

"why does it have to be like this?" you ask, feeling the weight of your emotions bring you down. "why does it all have to be so complicated? why did you have to make it so complicated?"

"if this is about my marriage-"

"of course it's about your marriage!" you exclaim, your emotions getting the better of you, "i've spent the last nine months driving myself insane over you - god, i don't even know why. i feel this overwhelming guilt because of your divorce and-"

you pause, getting choked up as every last feeling from the last nine months decided to reign it's terror on you in that very moment with cillian sitting right across from you on your couch. every ounce of guilt that was compiled up inside of you, every bit of anger and resentment, and every negative emotion poured out from the depths of your slightly broken heart.

with teary eyes, you finally look at him again. "i feel like i wrecked your marriage, and i-i don't want to be that type of woman."

"you didn't wreck anything." cillian says, moving close to you as he placed a hand on you, rubbing your back soothingly. "i was in the wrong - i should have told you the truth. i should have done a lot of things differently. if i could go back in time, i would."

"but you can't!" you say as the tears start flowing, covering your face with your hands.

"i can't, no," he agrees, "but i'll change, i'll do anything for you."

"are you insane?" you shout at him with tears pooling in your eyes, "i don't know why you-"

"because i fucking love you, that's why." he said suddenly, looking you dead in the eyes as you both went silent.

"i'm sorry?" you ask in shock, meeting his gaze.

"because," he sighs, "i've fallen in love with you."

"you barely know me-"

"but i want to," he insists, moving closer to you. "just one chance, please."

looking up into his gorgeous blue eyes once more, you felt yourself go weak. he chased you down for months, left his wife for you, showed up at your doorstep - what more could he do to prove he was all in for you? with a trembling breath, he reaches his hand to softly cup your face, wiping your tears away with his thumb. his eyes search yours for any trace of a mutual feeling, for any indication that you might've wanted him as badly as he wanted you.

as he was leaning in, the gap between his lips and yours was getting smaller and smaller by the second. despite everything that was said in the last ten minutes, you didn't stop him. you didn't back away because deep down, you knew you needed him as much as he needed you. the pull between the two of you was unexplainable.

softly, he kissed you for the first time in nine months, and instinctively, you wrapped your arms around his neck. as you tangled your hands in his greying hair, he pulled you closer by your waist. while his tongue was exploring your mouth, you boldly get on top of his lap. straddling him, you run your hands in his hair once more and deepen the kiss.

"tell me you feel the same way, i know you do." he whispered against your lips, pulling away just enough so that he could get the words out.

"i feel the same, cillian." you confess in a breathless whisper, and he starts to pepper kisses down your neck, trailing them along to your collarbone.

"thought about you every fuckin' night," he murmured against your skin, "m'gonna cherish you, my love."

"i fantasized about you all the time." you admit out loud, grinding your hips down onto him.

you could already feel how hard he was underneath you, and you bit your lip at the feeling of his clothed cock pressing up against your cunt.

"mm, yeah?" he groaned, "tell me, sweet girl."

his hands took hold of your waist, helping you grind down on his lap. "i thought about y-you..." you whimpered, feeling yourself soak through your panties already.

"well, don't get shy on me now." he said lowly, his hands reaching up to squeeze your breasts, rolling your clothed nipples between his fingers softly. since you weren't wearing a bra, he had easy access.

with a soft moan, you try your best to answer him as his bulge rubbed against your cunt and his fingers tweaked your nipples, causing you to lose all inhibitions. "t-thought about your cock stretching me open," you confess, "and- f-fuck, i thought about you bending me over, making me scream all night."

"how about i help you live out those fantasies of yours, hm?" he growled, pulling you into a sloppy kiss.

as you melted into the kiss, he reached his hand down and slipped them past the waistband of your pyjama pants. he pushed your panties to the slide and let his fingers swipe through your soaked folds, making you moan into the kiss. the feeling of his fingers just simply brushing against you was heavenly, and you knew you needed more.

"you're fucking soaked, baby." he groaned, biting your lip softly between his teeth.

in an instant, he was pushing you down onto your couch. you shimmied your way out of your pyjama pants with his help of course, and he also assisted in pulling your panties down, too. as he tossed them to the side, you felt your heart palpitate at what was about to happen.

he gently inserted his middle finger into you at a slow pace, your slick walls clenching down on him from sheer neediness.

"that's a good fucking girl," he praised softly, "feels good, baby?"

"m-mmhm," you moaned, looking up at him as he hovered over you.

with one hand, he continued to play with your tits, tweaking the nipple between his fingers and with the other hand, he was fingering you gently. the act was so intimate yet sinful at the same time, it had your head spinning. the way he kept eye contact was driving you insane as you looked into his icy blue eyes.

slowly, he inserted a second digit into your drooling hole, your back arching at the intrusion and slight stretch. you let out a quiet moan, and he started to curl his fingers, fucking you with them faster and faster.

"let me hear those pretty moans, sweetheart," he cooed, "i wanna watch you as you cum on my fingers."

"f-fuck, right there-!" you whined, arching your back even further.

as he fucked you on his fingers rapidly, you could feel the coil in your stomach about to snap. as your slick walls clenched down on cillian's fingers, you moaned his name out over and over, feeling yourself drenching his hand.

"fuck, you're so pretty." he complimented, watching your reaction as you came undone on his fingers for him.

after your chest was heaving and you were left a panting mess, he pulled his fingers out gently. he helped you slip your pyjama top off, and you assisted him in undoing his belt buckle.

as he pushed his pants down, his cock sprung out. your mouth watered at the sight of it, needing nothing more than for him to be balls deep inside of your aching, needy cunt right now. he got on top of you hastily, stroking himself a few times before he lined himself up with you.

he teasingly brushed his pale, pink tip through your sticky folds as his pre-cum leaked out, and you whined with desperation.

"i fantasized about stretching you open on my cock." he admitted suddenly, biting down on his plush lips. "i thought about how you'd look with it buried deep inside, begging me to let you cum."

his vulgar words went straight to your core, and you looked up at him with a rosy hue covering the apples of your cheeks.

"show me," you whimpered, "make me beg to cum on your cock."

it didn't take much convincing before he suddenly pushed into your warm hole, stretching you out beyond belief. you could feel him fill you fully, and you almost choked on air at the sensation of his cock actually splitting you open like he promised. even though your cunt was dripping, he was still met with some resistance just from how tight you were around him.

"jesus, baby," he groaned, "what a tight fucking pussy."

"uh-huh, y-you're so big-" you squeak, and he started to move in and out at a fast pace, barely giving you time to adjust.

as his cock filled you fully, you swore you could feel him bulging in your stomach. his fat, veiny cock was reaching places you didn't even think were possible to reach, and places that his fingers certainly couldn't. he continued to push deeper inside of you with harsh thrusts, knocking the wind out of you each time his cock brushed up against that spongy spot inside of you.

you closed your eyes as your slick started to drip down onto the couch. you'd never been so soaked in your life. he tapped your cheek a few times, causing your eyes to flutter open. softly, he cupped your face with one hand while the other held an unwavering grip on your leg, lifting it up over his shoulder so he could fuck you even deeper.

"look at me, sweetheart," he commanded softly, making you clench on his cock. "oh," he noticed, "you like it when i talk to you like that, huh?"

you indeed liked when he talked like that - scratch that, you fucking loved it. he could feel you squeeze his cock with your dripping cunt each time he just spoke, his voice bringing you closer and closer to the edge once more.

"cill, i-i...fuck!" you screamed as his cock brushed up against that sensitive spot inside of you, causing you to suddenly lose all ability to speak properly.

"hm, sweetheart?" he cooed lovingly, but continued ramming into you ruthlessly.

your pussy was soaked and stretched, and as you kept your eyes on his - you watched him in awe. the way his pink lips were slightly parted, his salt and pepper hair disheveled, and his brow furrowed. it was driving you into a permanent state of euphoria.

"i love you," you gasped between breathless moans and incoherent begging, "so much."

your pupils were blown, staring up at him with such intensity he thought he was going to break right then and there.

"fuck, sweetie," he groaned, "i love you, too."

"i-i'm gonna cum, r-right there-" you begged him, "please, can i?"

"cum on my cock, cum right fucking now." he almost growled, pounding your tight, sopping cunt mercilessly. his pace never wavered, and he continued to fuck you into euphoria, studying you as you tipped over the edge from his thrusts.

with a groan, he came with you. he filled you with everything he had, fucking his cum so deep into your cunt you could almost feel him bruise your cervix. after his cock spurted the last bits of his cum into you, he was a panting, love-drunk mess propped up above you.

you were just as fucked out, smiling at him dopily while his cock remained buried inside of your warm walls. cillian brought his hand back up to your face, brushing a strand or two out of your face before placing a gentle kiss on your swollen lips.

"my love," he whispered, voice saccharine, "you are everything to me. everything."

"i adore you." you say softly, letting a heavy breath out.

"we'll make this work, i know we will. i just can't live a life without you in it." he tells you.

the crowd cheered, giving you a standing ovation as you finished your performance. you smiled bashfully and yelled "thank you new york!" into the microphone as the final show of your tour ended, and you waved goodbye to the thousands of fans in the arena.

rushing backstage after your show, you run into cillians arms and he hugs you tightly. he places a soft kiss on your head as you smile up at him sweetly, and looks at you with a proud expression on his face.

"you were amazing, love," he says softly, pulling you into his side as the two of you walk into your dressing room, "m'so glad i could join you for the last half of your tour. love watching you perform, s'amazing."

"oh, cill," you smile bashfully, "shush, you're too sweet."

"my lovely wife," he sighed, kissing you softly, "i'm just so proud of everything you've done."

you sigh blissfully as he holds your hands in his, and you head back to the hotel your staying at before your flight tomorrow morning. as your head hits the pillow, you feel exhausted and like you haven't slept in ages. cillian wraps his arms around you, spooning you as you turn off the light.

"goodnight, mrs. murphy." he whispers softly, holding you in his arms.

now you didn't have to fantasize about what it was like to be his anymore - he was all yours now, and you were all his. last name and all.

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@strangeobsessed

[rai-knightshade-art]

😂 well luckily its also not as bad as it could be (so long as we dont look at the lists of previous Wrappeds + the fics posted in those years *sweats nervously*). For fic titles specifically, there're only two... Aka the two based on my Top Song two years in a row 😅 and counting chapter titles, there're two more published and one wip (chapter 1 of the Big Damn Fic, aka the main Top Song fic uses a different song in my list for it's title, and one of my Bradyverse fic collection stories also uses a longtime fave song that made it into my top 100 again, + the second unreleased chapter of, again, the Big Damn Fic™ uses yet another song from the top 100). Miraculously, despite several of my fics being named from favorite songs, none of them made it into this year's top 100 😅

....I'm gonna ask how many of your fic titles are in your Spotify wrapped knowing full well that is not a mirror I want to view my own self in 😅

😅

So, it might not be as bad as I thought. From 2023 there are only four published (and 7 wips) that are also on my spotify wrapped list, which isn't that bad. And! they're only lyrics from the songs and not the actual song titles themselves. I feel like that's enough to be exonerated.

Now I've gotta ask, how did you fair?

[mangthemango]

Withdrawals

A Genshin Impact SAGAU Brainrot

Pairing/s: Albedo x Creator!Reader (platonic)

Warnings: Imposter!AU, cult behaviour, medication withdrawal symptoms, you take anti-depressants, Albedo is possibly OOC just because I don't know too much about him (because mf refused to come home >:()

Author's Notes: It's currently eight in the morning and I decided to write this entirely on a whim. Friendly reminder to take your medication when you need to! Otherwise, Genshin will make sure your fave doesn't come home lol.

Fic under the cut! I hope you enjoy!

Waking up in Teyvat was fun at first. After emerging from unconsciousness in Windrise and getting over the initial thoughts of 'how the hell is this possible', you were actually having a good time. The sun wasn't too hot on your skin, the breeze was nice and cool, even the hilichurls were more than welcoming to your arrival. Being able to try sunsettias for the first time and feeling the gentle tingling of an Electro slime under your fingertips were core memories you hoped you'd never forget.

Well, it was fun. It was until you started getting chased around Mondstadt.

The Knights of Favonius had it in for you because of your appearance, weirdly enough. While you did share some similarities to some released characters, you couldn't think of a single character who looked identical to you as your hunters claimed. Maybe it was an unreleased character or an NPC they were talking about.

You couldn't care less, though. All you knew was that this mystery stranger was held in such high regard that they wanted to kill you in their name.

No more than twelve hours after waking up in the Nation of Freedom, you were cowering in a hidden radish plot in Springvale, watching the setting sun shine gold on the faces of your pursuers. Some interrogated the townspeople of your whereabouts, others put up posters calling for your arrest at the decree of someone called 'The Divine Creator'.

A Divine Creator? Could they maybe be Fontaine's Archon? Your knowledge on the lore of Genshin Impact was rusty at best. However, you knew of the emphasis the French-inspired nation had on invention and composition. Perhaps Fontaine had a unique system of worship for their regional god, just like all the other nations you'd come to know and love. Plus, it'd explain why you hadn't heard of the title before while playing the game.

Yet, the longer you pondered over it on your way to Stormterror's Lair, the less it made sense. You'd only just woken up in Teyvat and unless there was an omnipotence amongst the Archons which you hadn't learned of, it was pretty much impossible for the god of Hydro to know about you when you'd barely stepped foot out of Barbatos' territory.

That left the questions: who was this Divine Creator that wanted you dead? And why did it feel like you'd forgotten something important?

Your trek towards Old Mondstadt was tiring - you'd never done this much walking in your life - and when the moon was high, you had no choice but to put your journey on hold for the sake of taking some much needed rest in Wolvendom. A Wolfhook bush was your bed for the night and you prayed to any Archon who'd dare listen to you for a peaceful trip and some safe refuge.

No one was listening that evening. That seemed more and more apparent as your hike continued.

Knights were scattered across the lands, vigilant eyes scanning the surroundings and forcing you to rely on sneaking and climbing abilities you didn't know you had. Mobs that were usually hostile towards you as a player were more than willing to lend a helping hand but as it became clear they were also more than willing to die for you, you steered clear of hilichurl camps, no matter how small. You soon only had yourself and a growing queasiness to keep you company on your travels.

It became a hard-won miracle that you managed to make it to the ruined city, your mystery illness that struck no more than a day after you first arrived in Teyvat reducing you to shaky limbs, stale saliva, pounding headaches and teary eyes. However, you only barely managed to cross into the new region before you fell onto the stone in a heap, crying. You hadn't felt this bad since you were first put on your meds-

Oh shit. Your medication. No wonder you were feeling like garbage.

As quick as the realisation came, another wave of helplessness crashed into you. Teyvat likely wasn't advanced enough to manufacture something like anti-depressants and even if they were, the Knights had made sure that any citizen of Mondstadt who saw you would drag you back to the city to witness your execution. You probably had more of a chance of finding the Unusual Hilichurl with a blindfold than seeking out someone who'd be willing to help you.

Metal gently scooped you off of the floor and you wiped your eyes, clearing them enough to see the Ruin Guard which was carrying you towards the centre of the lair. All you could do was lay your head against the machine, eyes fluttering shut. You knew that withdrawals wouldn't kill you but with how awful you felt, you almost felt like handing yourself in just to make it stop.

When you opened your eyes next, it was to the sight of a makeshift lab built in the cave you'd been placed in. A familiar blond man was sitting cross-legged at the small bench, fiddling with eye-droppers and beakers, and before you could stop yourself, you weakly called out his name.

Albedo was quick to move from his seat, moving to you and hovering his hands over your arms. "You still need rest, Your Grace. Please, sleep some more. I'm almost finished."

Delirious from your foggy mind and in disbelief that the nation's Chief Alchemist was aiding you, all you could mutter was "My name's not Grace."

A ghost of a smile crept upon his lips, although that might've been the withdrawals messing with you again, before he moved settled next to your hunched figure. "It's your title, Your Grace. It seems my hypothesis has been proven, unfortunately. You don't appear to remember much about yourself-"

"Why are you helping me?" you interjected. A small voice in the back of your mind scolded you for being impolite to the only person who'd helped you since you first arrived in Teyvat but it was quickly lost in another wave of wooziness. "They've got a big cash reward if you kill me."

Albedo's eyes widened ever so slightly, his face seemingly growing a shade paler. "I would do nothing of the sort, Your Grace. You are the Divine Creator and what the people of Mondstadt are doing is treason against your great name," he explained.

"But I'm not a Divine Creator of anything. I thought that was another name of the Hydro Archon," you mumbled, eyes squeezing in pain.

"Oh dear, it's worse than I predicted. Please, provide me with a few more moments, Your Grace. I almost have the fluoxetine ready for you."

It was that single word, so starkly familiar amongst the blond's overwhelming claims, that had your eyes darting open and your body sitting up so quickly Albedo didn't have enough time to move his hands away. The soft fabric of his gloves touched your skin for a moment before his arms recoiled like you were hot to the touch. Cheeks flushed a soft pink, he fell back, restoring the distance between the two of you.

"Fluoxetine? Y-You have anti-depressants? How do you even manufacture them here?" you questioned, disbelief keeping your eyes wide. However, it was the prospect of finally getting rid of these shitty withdrawal symptoms that injected life into you once more. You never thought you'd be excited to take your medication, not since you were told you'd need to start taking those tablets, but in this moment, you wouldn't blame anyone who thought you'd just won the lottery.

"Teyvat, uh, doesn't manufacture the fluoxetine," Albedo replied in his usual soft tone, moving back to his knee-high bench to finish his chemistry. "The recipe for the 'anti-depressants' comes from an ancient scripture. I've been studying this sacred text for a long time to deduce how to make this substance if you ever were to descend in a mortal form in my lifetime."

"Albedo, with all due respect, I have no idea what you're talking about," you said, staring at the blond as his words swum in your already full head. "I'm sorry. I think the explanation might need to wait until I've had my meds in my system for a little bit. It's really hard to think right now."

Albedo only nodded. "That is understandable, Your Grace. I will finish concocting the fluoxetine so we can restore your form to its full glory. Once you are feeling like yourself again, you may ask me any question you want answered."

You nodded back in response, leaning back onto the soft grass with a sigh. As bad as things felt right now, somehow the promise of your meds reentering your system, even being delivered by a character from your favourite game, made your symptoms ease ever so slightly. It wasn't enough to get rid of the stale taste in your mouth or the tremors in your hands. It was enough, though, to finally allow you to get some more rest since your sleep in Wolvendom.

As for all the Divine Creator stuff Albedo claimed you were? You'll just deal with that when you've had your tablets.

[batchilla]

Most Married Divorced couple timeline and other fun stuff.

This post will be updated as it needs to be updated.

I recently received some feedback that the third chapter of The Most Married Divorced couple caused some minor confusion, and so! a timeline to help make it clear what happens when is now being created! I also included fun facts about the series and my writing quirks because I am desperate for people to talk to meeee.

I have the full version, but this post will reflect the currently released works, or works that I can fit in spoiler free, such as the flashbacks, which are of course all prior to the main fic and can be read as stand alone if you so choose to just ignore their doomed future haha.

Purple titles are linked - let me know if I forget to link any of them!

Five times Robin rescued you and one time he didn't. (no link as not yet out)

This was a confusing one to fit in, as I would say that technically complicated exists somewhere in the middle of the many rescues, but I settled on first as it includes you meeting Jason.

the five as of this stage of development are:

the first time

the creation of your desert arrangement

the first time he drops you off at home

Complicated would occur loosely here

followed by the remaining rescues which I am keeping close to my chest.

Complicated

This could be read as a stand alone, but it is intended as the first kiss of this particular reader and Jason. It takes place shortly before Jason's death, maybe a year or two prior. While I never set an age in stone for the reader, I would imagine them to be mid to early teens.

We then experience a time-skip of several years.

Chapter one of The most married divorced couple

Till death do us part.

This fic occurs with no set age in mind for the reader or Jason, but you are settled into a apartment, and your daughter Mary is three years old, so I had imagined her as mid to late twenties or so, but you do not have to of course!

Chapter two of The most married divorced couple

Four years later

We skip forward four years into your divorce. Those of you with your smartie pants on will know this puts Mary as around seven years of age. This, for the majority of the time, is considered the 'main' time period, with anything before being a flashback. While I tried to make this clear, I will say it more plainly here because I am talking as me and it is easier to communicate this more bluntly out of the story:

Jason had zero contact post divorce with the reader or Mary until the events of chapter three; two years of utter silence. After the events of chapter three, while officially no changes in the custody arrangement were made, during the two years between three and two, Jason has come over as we see him do in 'four years later', or been present at places he could plausibly ran into you.

Chapter three of The Most married divorced couple

Jason comes home.

Despite what I just said about the main timeline, chapter three is an immediate flashback to the first time Jason returned after two years of total silence. Simply put this is two years AFTER till death do us part and two years BEFORE four years later. Or, for those of us keeping track by Mary's age, when she is five.

Chapter four of The Most married divorced couple

Churros, Coffee, hard Conversations, and Custody. (no link at this time because it isn't out yet)

a sneak peak of the unreleased chapter? in this economy? more likely then you think.

Jason wakes up on your couch, the morning after the events of Four Years Later, and after spending the morning as close as your heart can take to as a proper family would, with Mary, (once again aged seven for those keeping up that way) off to school, a very important, very sad, rather heated discussion must be had.

FUN FACTS

I, when writing x readers, try to avoid having the reader described as walking or running anywhere as I am a wheelchair user irl, and it often breaks immersion for me. No hate to writers who don't, its not a failing on your part, but I hope my fellow wheelchair girlies feel seen! I don't have her explicitly in a wheelchair, because I feel that it wouldn't represent most of my readers, but I have made a conscious effort that it could be read that way.

Jason's hoodie in chapter two, while never canonically described and therefore whatever you imagine it to be, in my own heart, is the 'I am kenough' hoodie. I had it as that in a draft, but I felt it changed the vibe too much to make it canon.

works I am considering writing for this series in addition to the main timeline:

meeting the resurrected Jason as Red Hood

The proposal

A series of dabbles or at least short, short, segments on what it's like to be pregnant in a family of the worlds greatest detectives

a short story about how Damian was impacted by the divorce

A far into the future mainly crack fic with the many bat uncles and aunts, Jason, and Grandpa Bruce all trying to convince a teen Mary to come join THEIR super team / to be their sidekick.

Let me know in the replies if any of these particularly excite you! I make no promises of writing them but they are rattling around in my mind.

[tojiscrack]

i can’t wait for the day the liar, liar fic gets so big and i can say i’ve been here SINCE THE LEVI FIC YOU STARTED because your fics are genuinely unlike any other fic i’ve ever read before.

you have me falling in love with even the OC’S, i usually hate oc’s. i can’t really name many fics off the top of my head that i actually liked reading bc as you said in your ‘about me’, i too have a particular way i imagine characters so when i read fics and see them completely different or acting (in my view) ‘cringe’, i immediately get off it. you’ll notice my reblogs are only your posts because i never reblog anything unless it is PERFECT, and my standards are HIGHH so the fact that you’ve managed to get me to reblog your posts is crazy to me. i love you and ur writing sm.

i’m WAITING for the day ‘liar, liar’ gets as big as say ‘7 minutes in heaven’ for example, (the chokehold that fic had on the aot fandom was CRAZY). and not to be… idk, rude(?), but i think your fic is WAYYYY better (and the plot hasn’t even STARTED yet). i’m gonna need people making tiktoks about ‘liar, liar’ STAT so i can have people to talk to about this other than my friend 😭

liar, liar masterlist here:

girl i've BEEN knowing u since the levi fic, which i believe began in august of 2022, so we've known each other for a good two years now, is that not WILD?? (that, and the fact that since august 2022, i've only released 7 chapters of soano, oops-)

'ur fics are genuinely unlike any other fic i've ever read before' -- wishing i was typing this on my phone instead of my laptop rn cuz i can't spam emojis expressing how flattered i feel with this section right here :(((( i'm so pleased u like my works (plural, 'cause despite ur username, and past username, being dedicated to levi and eren, you're out here supporting my jjk megumi fic too).

HELP I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE WOULD READ MY 'ABOUT ME' POST LMAOO. it was just put up there 'cause i needed to get that done and after putting it off for so long, i finally made it lolll. i stalk ur page every once in a while, so i'm well aware of your reposts being just my fics, and not to be big-headed about it, but i'd get so internally cocky just seeing that HAHAHA.

BUT, i was silent about it till now (YOU mentioned it first, nawt me, so i can happily respond this way without being seen as arrogant -- huzzah!). and idk how else to show i appreciate ur support and comments SM (that's including ur blazes which, ik i've spammed ur dm's already but seriously, i can't thank you enough for, it's like another function of tipping which is super SUPER cool of u).

'i’m waiting for the day liar, liar gets as big as say 7 mins' -- aww STOPPPP. i'd love for my stories to have a hold over the jjk fandom, but idk, if we're being real, i feel like the gojo (unreleased) story i have planned will reach more ppl seeing as it features THE satoru gojo (my princess who also happens to be THE princess of anime). but liar liar seems to be growing every day (thanks to YOUR blazes, which again, u really don't have to do ml). if it does ever reach a wider audience, i'll remember you for sure. i'll remember a handful others who are og's too, but you were my first EVER reader ALTOGETHER and i PROMISE you i won't forget that <3

[enchi-elm]

did you know wind & water is 251 pages as a pdf? INSANE, what an investment & labor of love. i personally just had the scare of my life trying to find it bc your account was showing only 5 inception fics and i thought you'd taken it down, only to realize my ao3 got signed out and so it wasn't showing your works. so anyways, now it's on my phone, just in case, and for easy access!

This makes my heart sing. I was just thinking today how precious that story is to me, and to know someone else was trying to track it down while I was feeling so tender about all the work I put into it is a lovely feeling of harmony :)

And yes, sometimes I forgot that it's a book-length story XD I can still barely take that in and I know exactly how long it took to write it. Never fear! That story is never coming off of AO3 and if you ever do lose access to it for whatever reason, please reach out to me! I keep back ups!

And hey -- as a treat for being lovely, please enjoy four of sixteen unreleased chapter covers I designed for the story. I've been wondering how to release them -- maybe for the anniversary of its completion? -- but I haven't come up with anything good. So here -- for you and all!

[wrongcaitlyn]

you might've already heard the song but i can sort of see 'bite the hand' by boygenius as a nico song

like,, he has a lot of really nice fans but also some who seem to overstep a bit into his personal life? and especially with the recent concerts stuff i can picture him releasing it and everyone being like 'whoops we went too deep into the parasocial relationship'

also i love the fic!

SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO RESPOND TO THIS ASKSFKDLJ sometimes i go through phases where i physically can't force myself to listen to new music, and i just listen to the same album over and over again.. but I'M BACK AND READY FOR SOME RECS

so i just listened to this one (still haven't gotten around to listening to boygenius' discography, i blame my autism) AND YOU'RE SO RIGHT OMFG😭 i can 100% see this as an unreleased song that he may have written while being stressed over the whole.. being famous thing. we know that he's a very very private person, and though he loves meeting fans, he still has very strict boundaries that separate his personal and public life (which i think keeps him sane) and so this definitely just projects those sort of emotions </33 god now i'm trying to figure out what album it could go on. i need to listen to boygenius soon i swear. THANK U FOR THE REC <33

[thomine]

POST-FIC TALK: i care more to be loved

The origin

For those who were with me in my earlier days (2022-2023), you might remember the fic "Roommates with the Worse Man Possible". Not to get personal, but I started that fic at 3am during a very tumultuous moment. At that time, Kaveh was an unreleased character so I had leeway to imagine how he was like as a roommate, and I thought it would be funny to have him live with an actual worst roommate (Reader) yet reader sees him as the worst roommate. Unfortunately, I didn't have a plan. Just a tangled bunch of emotion. These types of stories tend to be neglected as my motivation to write them heavily ties to said emotion. When Kaveh was released and it was revealed he is the worst roommate because of all the noise working late into the night, I had more than enough reason to take this fic down.

However, I never quite gave up on this idea. Or should you say this emotion hasn't quite left me. I still wanted to write a Kaveh fic too, especially since the more I learn about him the more I use him as an emotional punching bag. How cathartic it will be to write a story with him that intricately ties with my tangled emotions. As I mentioned earlier, I am on a hiatus from writing because of personal reasons. Started therapy and managed to untangle a bit of said emotions, and it led me to think a lot about one's perception of love. What is love, really? Little Women (2019) by Greta Grewig further provoked my curiosity on this theme with her iconic line: "I care more to be loved. I want to be loved." / "That is not the same as loving."

Why do we seek love? Why do we want to be loved? What types of love is out there in the world? I don't have the answers to it but the thoughts were building up in me that, in frustration, I sat down and wrote this story in one sitting.

Process

Okay, funny story, when I sat down to write my thoughts because I needed an outlet, I used a random generator to choose my character and landed with Kaveh. I did not intend this to become the successor of 'Roommates with the Worse Man Possible.' It was only after I finished writing that I noticed the link.

In fact, I had no idea what the story would be. Just that I wanted to write my thoughts and emotions out while weaving Kaveh into the picture. This is the fun part about being a panster. You can only trace the dots backwards, haha. It is very stressful though when I have a plan. So to rate how this fic deviated from the original plan… the answer would be 0 because there was no plan.

Anyways, I took… 5 hours to write this instead of my homework, so if I ever come crying about failing… it is on me, haha.

Wrote this all in one sitting and there were minimal edits, so this story only has 1 draft. Am I proud of this? Not sure. I don't think this is a fic I can say I'll ever be proud or embarrassed by because it is a fic I wrote in desperation. It isn't something I would say I toiled hard to make it work. It is a natural creation—one with my heart on my sleeve. So, I guess the answer is no, but I don't hate it either. This story just speaks to who I am.

Questions & Answers

Does Kaveh love reader?

I am all for open-interpretation but this is something I have to say bluntly. I want you—the reader—to understand my original intention of the story and therefore engage with your understanding of the story. Why did it diverge? Why is it different? Do I hold assumptions you don't agree with? Are there assumptions you hold? So I'll put it plainly: Kaveh does love reader, but in a twisted way.

The whole theme of this story is centred on the quote from Little Women. "I care more to be loved. I want to be loved." / "That is not the same as loving."

In the context of reader, the lens in which the story is told, reader cares more to be loved by others and therefore is willing to perform for it. They do not believe they are worthy yet they crave it. The beggar vs busker analogy is the most apt (sorry there was no subtlety).

But the thing is a person is their ideals, their thoughts, and even their flaws. To reader, they separate themselves in their profession and personal life, which makes them really lonely, but that is not how humans work. You are who you are in its entirety. However, when you separate yourself as strongly as reader does, it is easy to believe people don't love the true you—the one bridled with shame. In fact, you actively want to separate that self because you are ashamed of it. Yet you crave for someone to coddle you and tell you even the part you most hate about yourself is lovable.

Then why does reader push Kaveh away when he says he loves them?

I would say reader isn't wrong to say the world operates in condition and reward. You see, a condition can be anything. Why do you give money to someone on the streets? Let's say this person is a beggar. You'd give money because of pity. They set the conditions for you to pity them enough to reward them with money. Let's say this person is a busker. They're playing beautiful music so you toss a coin. They set the conditions for you to admire them enough to reward them with money. In the same way, when you separate shame so strongly from parts you want to protect from this "infection", it is very hard to believe someone will truly love your shameful side of it because you set the condition for pitied love. Is it love? Yes. But is it desirable? Depends. Do you value the reward (money) or do you care for the source (why)?

When Jo (Little Women, 2019) said she cared more to be loved, that she wants to be loved, it struck me that she was after a very specific type of love. An unconditional love that she received from her family but was constantly snagged from her by society, adulthood, and death. Unconditional love. Does it exist? A love where it penetrates your shame. "I love you for who you are without any condition. The source of this love is one you do not have to fight for."

This is the love reader wants, because they understand that love can exist through pity too, and reader is wary of it hence in their inability to discern what is unconditional love they continue acting childishly to test the limits of this person. If I'm like this will they still love me? If I'm like that will they still love me? That is why they push Kaveh away. I hope this is clear in the story.

Now, for Kaveh's side. How does he come into play? I hope while learning about reader you've come to understand at least what are the parts of Kaveh that draw him to such people.

Kaveh is an idealist. To put it very, very, very brief, he is the epitome of "treat others how you want to be treated." He wants to be saved so he saves others.

While reader focuses on the first part of the quote, "I care more to be loved. I want to be loved," Kaveh's part focuses on "That is not the same as loving." Unfortunately, while the second part of the quote was a voice of reason in the movie, Kaveh's part in the fic is not. He is a catalyst. He is the chip that shows such a mentality is not loving.

Although supportive and seemingly loving, Kaveh who wants to be loved will love even more. The more reader pushes him away, the more he needs to prove his ideals are correct. He needs to prove to himself and reader. He is as desperate as reader to be loved, so he loves in the way he knows: to give love.

What does this mean for the future of our characters?

I would say it won't turn out well. They aren't meant to be in a healthy, positive relationship despite looking like one on the surface. I am trying to challenge the status quo that every "I can fix them" couple may not necessarily be healthy because fundamentally the issue lies in the individual who has to change.

For example, even if Kaveh proves to reader that their shame is lovable, it can become a very slippery slope towards doom. If you believe your shameful side is lovable you will not tackle the root cause which is your shame. You won't think of solving it and may even accumulate shame thinking "I will be loved anyways."

And as for Kaveh, I don't think he truly loves reader. Bringing back the beggar analogy, if you realise that the beggar isn't in need of your help you will not be willing to give money. Unless reader finds a way to make Kaveh love them differently, they may be stuck in this cycle of "I need someone to love me like I'm a beggar" to ensure Kaveh stays—just like how they have adopted the habit of kindness to connect people to them. Are they actually kind? Same line of thinking as Kaveh.

Some may be wondering if Kaveh is the type to give love in hopes to receive love, then wouldn't reader returning his feelings make him feel accomplished? Again, what type of love is reader giving? I feel Kaveh gives this self-sacrificial love because he expects it, but reader might give him love that is based on other conditions. Reader may seem self sacrificing but they are ultimately selfish while Kaveh is self-sacrificing because he believes it is to reach his ideals. Two people who, again, are the same but the source of the sameness is different.

I also want to note how the story is not trying to convince you that Kaveh loves reader as well. We can see reasons why reader might like Kaveh but we don't quite see Kaveh's reasons for liking reader. This is intentional. Reader themselves does not know why Kaveh likes them, and that is the source of their plight. It acts as a narrative to show reader views themselves so lowly that they can't see any reason for feelings to grow but also as a seed that perhaps Kaveh has no real reason because what he feels towards reader is not love in that sense, but a more twisted, self-serving sense.

Regardless, my stories tend to end where they end meaning even I don't know what is their future. If I knew I would have wrote it out. Now, I would say it's similar Schrödinger's Cat.

Is this a self-insert fic?

No, LOL. At least not in my definition. Reader is different than me in more ways than one, but they hold the same worldview as me. If i can put it as an analogy… if reader was real and I had a conversation with them, we would agree with a lot of things. Maybe not to a great extent for some, but for most, yes. I know some people are here to just read fluff fics of themselves in a healthy, romantic relationship with their favourite characters. Writing has played that role for me at one point, but my tastes has shifted. I like writing stories to explore my own thoughts and feelings, like this fic. My readers will mostly hold a certain worldview that I may challenge or complement with the genshin cast, and if that, to you, is a self-insert or an OC, then I guess we view things differently.

Why did you write this instead of your assignment?

BUDDY I WISH I HAVE AN ANSWER but sometimes I am just GRIPPED with emotions and writing has always been a way for me to express my thoughts to myself. Actually, when I started writing 'Roommates With the Worse Man Possible,' I was also procrastinating on work. How cliche!

But back to the point, if you also write to explore themes and non-conventional reader-insert reasons, please hit me up!!! I would love to talk to you!! And also join @thesteambird! We have quite a number of like-minded reader-insert writers.

Does it mean I can write my article after writing this beast that imprisoned me for 5 hours? I don't know. I hope. I really hope. Anyways therapy works wonders guys. But also shoutout to God for being my cornerstone because I would be in the mental ward if not for someone as patient and forgiving as God. Okay, bye!

[allthecastlesonclouds]

I've been addicted to your hatchetfield d20 au, so I have to finally ask. How does one get into hatchetfield? I've heard it's a musical, but it seems a but confusing since I think there's more than one part?? How and where do I start?

start with The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals! it's the first musical in the Hatchetfield Trilogy and is referenced throughout the rest of the material– it also very much sets the tone for the rest of the material, so if it's not your vibe you can switch off! (though later musicals have much more variation in people singing, because the singing isn't diegetic)

past there, there are two more musicals– Black Friday and Nerdy Prudes Must Die– and a two season web series that you don't have to watch to understand the musicals called Nightmare Time! everything is released on youtube, so don't worry about paying for it :)

also because i'm very normal about this au i'm gonna start talking about specific episodes under the cut that are mentioned in the au. don't open it, it's very long; i just wanted to :)

ALRIGHT let's say each time adaine references her age is a new timeline :) (the last seven sections are the same timeline, however, as she is "still" eighteen) referenced means anything from a throwaway comment to the section just being the plot :-| but i wanted to make a chart. as a treat to myself

TGWDLM is referenced in timelines 1 and 14– though the plot is only laid out in timeline 1.

Black Friday is referenced or was the inspiration for, timelines 2, 4, 7, and 11. 4 is a similar set-up, but in this one Fabian has a gun so it plays out very differently than the others (everyone dies before they get blown up)

Nerdy Prudes Must Die is timeline 9.

Watcher World is referenced in timelines 3 and 13.

Forever and Always is referenced in timeline 8; Time Bastard is also referenced in this timeline– though any Riz fuckery is explained by this shit (so 3, 8, and 12 technically)

The Witch In The Web is referenced in timeline 5, though only through the death– however, this episode is where we meet Webby, and also where the title of the fic comes from!

Honey Queen is referenced in timelines 6 and 15– six is the plot of HQ up til the deaths, and then it turns to an original plot :) 15 is if Fabian survives that shit :)

Yellow Jacket is referenced through the vision Adaine gets in timeline 9 and "Otho," the priest in timeline 10.

and much of timeline 10 is from an unreleased episode called Miss Holloween (read in this stream)

Timeline 12 did not take any inspiration from anywhere! i was just having a good time torturing them.

[stay-midnight]

Snowswept Tails

—

Unreleased Draft #1: Yang Jeongin x Male Reader!

A/N: This is an unfinished work of mine that I failed to publish and finish cuz this was a time I was in the low of my lows regarding my mental health! This was somewhere in 2021 and that it was supposed to be the Christmas special for that year! It's not the greatest writing but I do like the idea/plot so let me know if you want me to release a hopefully better full version! Note no smut and it cut in the middle.

Warning: Animal death/Mercy killing!

a/n's rating:

9/10 for plot wise and amazing on scratch would defo want to do something like this (fantasy fic are my favorite to write)

4/10 for personal writing overcomplicated some words and I started to dislike writing timid reader a long time ago cuz it is not the most realistic.

7/10 for write-ability cuz i'd have to scratch my imagination to make it better!

The feeling of prickling ice continued to gnaw at your knuckles as cold mist emitted out your lips each time you exhale, the cold climate around you is one that always give you the want to leave this place forever, maybe move to somewhere warmer where you won't have to fight tooth and nail just so you could live normally. It’s not easy being in the cold, it hurts a lot. Though you have gotten used to it by now, you always kept wondering how it would be if you were to be happy in someplace summer-y.

It was just a normal day in the harsh winter life, collecting firewood for heat inside your home. With an axe on hand, you had started to go around the forest like how you would everyday.

You still had a good amount of food supplies, having hunted a deer just a day ago — so for now, you needn't kill another calm spirit.

You made your way to the path of the forest, whistling a childish tune used to be played by your parents when you were still at a young age. Your boots created footmarks at each step you take, so you’d know how you would reach the cabin once more after your daily walk at the chilling cold.

Humming your tune as you saw the familiar marks towards a specific path.

After arriving at your designated destination, which was where a tree that you cut down was located. This tree that you cut down about three weeks ago was the one you were collecting your daily firewood from.

The trunk of the tree was a bit small so it should only last about a day or two more before you have to chop down another.

As you were chopping the small amount of firewood for a day, you sighed — Life's a bit boring in here was always the lingering thought in your mind, you don't really have the gold to buy a house inside the nearest kingdom therefore you settled at the cabin that your parents had when you were still a child.

Since a kid, all you really had faced was the neverending winter with the occasional sun rising up every three years or so. Grumbling at your own misfortune of a life, you failed to notice the skittering of snow behind you.

In a few minutes or so, the firewood you had collected was enough for the day and you finally noticed the sound behind you. You had turned to your back after tying the firewood with a rope so that you could bring it back.

“Oh dear, who did this to you?”

You say as you watch the little creature whimper as blood flowed down it's wound on it's neck. In a few minutes or so, the white rabbit would die. You let out a misty breath as you felt bad for the rabbit.

Wolves.

The rabbit was whimpering in pain as you went and caressed it's head. The bite mark on his neck was too severe to patch up and you lack the supplies to fully heal it.

It whimpered again, and you felt bad so you had to do the only thing you could.

You entangled your fingers together as if you were praying and bowed your head down in silence of the forest, the only thing that could be heard was the dying sounds coming from the white rabbit.

In a swift moment, you snapped the animals neck — putting it out of his painful misery, mercy killing it.

Your eyes lost emotions as you dig up snow from the ground to create a little burial ground for this rabbit. Though it was common that preys were food for it's respective hunters, rabbits touch your heart sentimentally.

As you lay the rabbit’s body down to the snow, artic wind blew past you, sending a shiver down your spine inspite your clothed attire, you bury the rabbit on it’s handmade grave as you sat their a bit in silent.

After a short pause, you got up and whisked the snow caught on your pants. Before grabbing the firewood you got and the axe, about to go back to the cabin as planned.

Whistling a sad melancholic tune that you manage to thought from the top of your head, the cold winds pick up suddenly without a warning.

That's weird.

No signs of any blizzard came about this morning, usually you’d know before hand if a snowstorm could hit. The humidity of the air was completely normal as any other day.

You sighed as you ran fast towards the direction of the cabin, breathing heavily as so — the snow you were stepping on felt like it was sinking deep as your boot landed on it.

Too focused at the cabin and panicking too much of the sudden blizzard, you failed to collect your surroundings.

Between one of the trees, it was peeking out, an array of tails behind their back as their ears perked up at the sound of noisy footsteps. The snowstorm rigorously picking up before it disappeared from visible sight. Only one could ponder.

~

You closed the door behind you and sighed, dropping the firewood and laying the axe down, panting exhaustedly before taking a sit on the sofa — not even bothering to change or light up the dead fireplace.

Feeling like you ran a marathon, you layed down — kicking the boots off to the wooden floor, creating a loud thunk. Chest heaving, you felt uncomfortable at feeling of your hair covered in snow but too tired to remove it.

Though the inside of the cabin right now is a bit frosty due to the lack of heat source. You decided to lay in the couch a bit, staring into the window to your left — all that could be seen outside was nothing but husky white as the harsh blizzard continues.

A loud yawn left your lips as you laid on the quite comfortable couch till time slowly but surely passed by.

Silence washed over the cabin as the only thing that could be heard was the hums from the snowstorm, you dragged yourself off the couch, grabbing into the couch for support as you walked over to the collected firewood.

It was covered in snow, sighing loudly as you brushed and shook it off. The coldness was now adding up, atmosphere getting chillier as time goes on without any reliable heat source.

As you dragged yourself to the fireplace, you felt sometype of chill go down your spine, making your body shake slightly at it.

Kneeling beside the fireplace, you placed the wood neatly on a crisscross position before lighting it up with your handy small blowtorch.

You loosened up and breathed in relief before opening your palms against the searing flame, heating you up comfortably. The cabin now feels more comfortable as the heat crawled through it's walls.

As the blizzard continues, the loneliness in the cabin always makes you sigh, though used to it after living alone for 2 years now, civilization is kilometres away in this snowy forest.

In the last 2 years of staying here, not a single human life were here in the woods and no one came knocking.

A yawn came out of your throat at the swirling thoughts, life here was already convenient and you already had a lined up schedule—hunting every mondays, gathering clean water in a well inside the forest, etc.

Breathing out deeply as you were about to fall asleep against the ember of flames, the aching of your calfs from your run earlier slowly died down.

Knock

Knock

The immediate sound woke you up from your immersed thoughts, your heartbeat frantically beating at the sound. Eyes shooting up to the front door where the direction of the noise came from. A tingling sensation ran through the tips of your fingers along with the fear of unexpected. Not once did anything make a sound like that in the past years. Getting up slowly, you made your way to the kitchen, footsteps were not heard as you avoided creaking the wooden floor.

In the kitchen — you grabbed a small knife, sneaking it into your pocket.

Maybe it's just snow hitting the door. Hopefully.

The wooshing sound only got stronger, a figure standing by the glass door. You gulped at your heartbeat, adrenaline kicking in fast as you walked with a knife behind your back. Stepping closer and closer to the door until the silhouette finally noticed you before calling out.

“Hey! I just wanted to take shelter from the blizzard, mind if I come in?” a man said in a raspy tone, waving his hand — voicebarely audible by the ongoing snowstorm.

You stopped in your tracks, releasing a long breath that you didn't know you had been holding on for so long.

Carefully... You walked towards the door—as you do relief entered your lungs as your heart stop pulsating erratically. The man was covered in a grey cloak most likely because of the harsh pull of the icy winds. It's been a time since you've seen any other humans. It feels like it had been forever.

Turning the handle of the door, you failed to see the man’s smirk you greeted him, “Hi..... What's your name?” you asked in a small voice as if it was the first interaction you had — you also made way for him to go inside the cabin.

The man stepped inside, boots creaking the floorboards, he hums — clearly relaxed despite just being outside a snowstorm. “Jeongin.” he simply says before walking further inside.

You lock the door behind you and trail behind the man, he takes off the cover, revealing his white hair — as white as the snow that covers the forest. He had a sharp jawline and eyes, he looks at you. “What’s yours?” he asks, staring you down to cold feet.

He finally showed some expression after noticing how quiet you where, he smiles to which as if all your worries and suspicion had gone away but in the back of it all, you knew something was not right with this guy. “Y/N.. you can take a sit anywhere you’d like.” You mumbled, which he caught wind off thankfully since he nodded.

Lowering your head, you went to the kitchen to make some tea —made from plums, you collected from the southern corner of the forest. You didn't actually know how to make tea so you improvised all the while taking a peek to where the stranger had gone.

Jeongin was sitting on the couch, whirling thoughts on his mind, eyes turning bloody red before fading quickly as he saw eyes on him.

The man was staring at you back, smiling with his eyes closed to which you confirmed was rather charmingly cute. You nod back, crushing the plums and placed water in the stove.

You waited for a bit, taking occasional looks at the stranger, the man was dazed — staring in front of him, to nothingness at every look. When the water started boiling you added the sour plums and added a bit of sugar that this cabin has a lot of for who knows how long. A spoonful of sugar and piece of the plum tree’s leaves. It turned the water dark red due to the crushed fruit.

The scent of the sweet and sour plums wafted throughout the cabin, the stranger perking up on the smell.

It's more of a juice than a tea, but it's boiled juice— you thought. “Hopefully, it tastes good atleast.. Um yeah..” your voice trailed off at the cherry red liquid as you poured it in a wooden cup. Before sighing, getting ready to meet the stranger once again.

~

You awkwardly stood in watch as 'Jeongin' sipped on the liquid concoction you made, you couldn't call it tea cuz it was barely anything like it.

“Thank you for letting me in earlier, may I wonder what got you to live alone in the woods?” Jeongin asked, a thrilled smile visible on his cherry color coated lips possibly from the drink.

You look at him before opening your mouth to answer his question carefully, “I don't have money to go to the kingdom... And It's not really a good place for people who doesn't have a single ounce of gold.” you said, voice full of disappointment..

He nods, listening carefully to you.

Continuing smoothly, “I used to live there until I didn't have enough and the person I was working for was a scum of the earth, barely giving any pay for my work. Therefore I went back here, where my parents and me used to live before they passed.” Your tone somber and light, watching the handsome man put down his drink.

“It must be very lonely then? Mind if I stay here then?” the man whispers, frosty breath sputtered out of his perfect lips.

“Oh no, you don't have to—” you said rushed, stopping when he cuts you off.

“The war between the near Kingdom and Great Empire burned my house down last week, and I don't really have anywhere to go.” he continues, tone shifting to fit more of a melancholic one.

[mr-laveau]

20 Questions for Fic Writers Game

Tagged by a darling, @autisticempathydaemon! Thanks for the tag!

Tagging @agentplutonium because I wanna pull some SH style interrogative shenanigans/lh

1 - How many works do you have on AO3?

Seventeen, not a lot but it's to be expected somewhat I suppose since I'm busy writing NeXus.

2 - What's your total AO3 word count?

64,509-Oh look I beat Lexi/j/pos

3 - What fandoms do you write for?

Redacted mostly, I have some unreleased Castle Audios fics, an unfinished JJBA SDC fic to finish and a Scott Pilgrim fic to start.

4 - What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

#1 is an Ironpanther Marvel Fic of Avenger's Academy I have not touched in forever called "How Tony Stark landed a king and how T'Challa landed a genius". It was fun tho cuz my hc of T'Challa being demisexual was really well received to my knowledge. #2 is "Spitfire", which admittedly is a good FL/Damien fic and people should read it. #3 is "Ghost of the Past", my Sam/SH fic where they both used to be roommates in DUMP. #4 is "Friends...Am I right?" which was a really fun Darlin/Sam & BE+Fred fic. Finally, #5 is "Moments That Flash By" which is a really good Darlin/David fic for my soul.

5 - Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do respond when I remember...ADHD makes me do silly silly things like forget that stuff exists. I like comments and they let me know I'm doing s good job.

6 - What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Easy! "Shattered Glass Makes a Good Weapon" Gods, I love that fic so much. It was really fun for me to reach deep down and write Darlin and Quinn like that.

7 -What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhhhhhh I dunno, probably a Marvel fic called "Crossing Buckies and Dotting Hawkeyes", I am a winterhawk girlie and I had fun writing that, others might think it's "Spitfire" or "Break time, Gorgeous" but subjectively, it's that fic.

8 - Do you get hate on fics?

If I have then I haven't seen it. I don't really engage much with fandom to care about hate comments because "haha, look at you getting mad over words about fictional characters kissing", like shut your goofy ass and move on.

9 - Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have but I'm not releasing it. I don't feel compelled to do it-mostly cuz it's for me and I like toying with the idea in my head and the people of my current fandom are not ready for the depravity I could unleash.

10 - Do you write crossovers?

No? I have ideated one but I'm still not sure if I want to do it.

11 - Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

12 - Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nuh uh.

13 - Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Uhhhh no but I have ideated with Lexi about one and I have been too busy to finish the first chapter.

14 - What's your all time favorite ship?

My redactedsona/redacted men What? who said that? It's Darlin/Sam/David/Angel/Damien/Asher/Baaabe/SH/Milo. It's my ship and yes, they're all poly, yes, they're a network and yes, I am happy with myself.

15 - What's a WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

"Platinum Portrait", It was an old JJBA fic with my OC/Jotaro and I really liked how it was going. Dunno, we'll see how it goes.

16 - What are your writing strengths?

I'm good at dialogue and characterization as well as pacing(?).

17 - What are your writing weaknesses?

Gore, writing long fics, Dead Dove Do Not Eats (I wanna do those at some point with Quinn or Hush OR Porter OR OR OR Imperium Vincent) I like dark shit, idk what to tell y'all and I wanna get better at exploring darker topics properly in my writing.

18 - Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Gods, I love doing it. If you've read "Break Time, Gorgeous" then I want you to know, I love you and it was fun as hell to write.

19 - First fandom you wrote for?

Marvel. Specifically it was my Ironpanther fic.

20 - Favorite fic you've written?

An unreleased Sam/Darlin smut fic where they fuck in an alleyway. I think it's fun.

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

✍Word Excerpt Ask Game

Thanks for the tag @mycupofrum and @orange-peony 💚

Send a random word to my inbox and I'll post a line/passage containing that word from a released or unreleased fic!

Tagging @groundzero-v, @forestdeath1, @gracelesslady23, @strugglequill, @lovelymasks and @roalinda if you'd like to do it and haven't already (I know I'm double tagging at least some of you with this, sorry). As well as anyone else who thinks it looks fun! <3

If you think games like this are fun and would like to be tagged in the future please like this post so I know who don't mind being tagged

[thecouchsofa]

Tee! Ok first for the word game, I have to ask for couch/sofa 😂. And if that doesn't work I'll try spinach as that's what I'm cooking right now.

✨🪩 Word Excerpt Ask Game 🪩✨

Featuring 'couch', taken from The Brightest Constellations of Our Souls (256k, E, 2023)

Harry squeezed his eyes shut as Malfoy pulled open the curtains, flooding the room with soft morning light.

“You could’ve at least warned me,” Harry muttered, opening his eyes a crack. “Reckon I could go blind from that.”

Malfoy stared at him with crossed arms, leaning against the curved window. “I’m about to go blind with rage, so forgive me for not being considerate of your eyes.”

“You’re not forgiven.” Harry yawned and stretched his arms over his head, leaning back slightly. His muscles ached a little, but it was a pleasant ache. Harry could no doubt thank the few days of sleep in an actual bed rather than a couch for that.

Malfoy let out an odd noise that sounded halfway between a gasp and a squeak. Harry dropped his arms and turned to look at Malfoy, who was looking down at his shoes. They stood in silence for a moment before Harry cleared his throat, shifting from foot to foot.

(that word features 114 times in that fic)

Featuring 'spinach', taken from an unreleased fic which has the document title of 'Angsty Azkaban Release'

“No peeking.” Potter stepped back and Draco felt the loss of him keenly. He wanted to tug at his arm and make him come back, but he wasn’t sure that he could. They weren’t quite there yet. “Here’s the first one.” Something was pressed against Draco’s palm, one of the soft things from the plate.

“Give me a hint about what it is at least. I want to know if I’m eating spinach or samosas.”

“Cupcakes,” Potter said, his breath washing over Draco’s ear. “Take a bite, go on.”

Draco was thankful that his eyes were already closed because they would have ended up there anyway, slipping shut so that he could focus his senses on what mattered most; the feeling of Potter’s breath on his skin, his fading warmth on Draco’s back, the position of his fingers, still resting against Draco’s hip as though intending to guide him around the room.

🛋️🥗 🪑

(If there is a difference in meaning between couch and sofa, I do not know what it is. I use them interchangeably, sometimes in the same sentence 😅)

[lavender-long-stories]

Master List in AO3 Popularity Order

And a collection of thoughts from my brain under the cut.

Lavender Memories [SasuHina]

Wheels [SasuHina]

What He Left Behind [SasuHina]

Testing Success [SasuHina]

Lavender Sand [GaaHina]

Lavender Clouds [SasuHina]

Lavender Umbrellas [KisaHina]

Death Wishes [ItaHina]

I Will Love You [SasuHina]

Bread and Tea [SasuHina]

FF | AO3

~Always a Happy Ending~ ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ It's always so interesting to see what the audience likes the most. I think what wins out is domestic fluff, which is great because I love to write so I will write more for you. >w<

Lavender Memories has always been the core favorite, and it does hold a special place in my heart. (Though uploading the flashbacks in italics is a massive pain in the ass) I really wish I could make reverse Memories work (with Sasuke losing his memories instead). If anyone wants to comment/dm/asks me for ideas to make that work without Sasuke being toxic that I will take suggestions. Every time I have tried to write it, Sasuke just ends up pissing me off.

Wheels was just pure fluff and sweet scenes in my heart, and I didn't want it to end, but there is only so far I can go with stories with no real angst to drive the plot. I am completely open to writing bonus chapters for it, again, toss suggestions my way of what you want to see.

What He Left Behind is weird for me because it's always a struggle when I have a well-liked character as an antagonist because I am not a fan of people bashing the characters in the comments even when the character is doing something wrong, but this story needed Naruto to walk out for the concept to work. I appreciate that people like it, but I am not sure I will do something divorce based ever again. Writing Sasuke a green flag, I will do again, though.

Testing Success has been compared to a K-Drama on more than one occasion, and I am *here* for it. Though the amount of people shipping Fugaku with Hinata really tells me I need to write an ItaHina or SasuHina with a CEO x Assistant relationship because it's clearly wanted. Probably an ItaHina because of how many people were shipping ItaHina hard before Sasuke showed up. I have a bad habit of making side characters have good relationships with one of my main couple of characters and then making a whole new fic on that dynamic. 💀💀💀 Don't worry, I ship it too >.<

Lavender Sand, my GaaHina baby. I love how awkward Gaara is, and this fic has some of my favorite scenes. I have always wanted to make more GaaHina, but it's hard to not rehash a lot of what I did here. I am currently working on another GaaHina that should have a different enough setup that it won't just be Sand 2 - The Remake.

Lavender Clouds was my first ever fic T-T. It recently underwent a massive overhaul (wow, I was bad at writing). Looking back now, I think that I should have made the end game couple different. SasuHina was my thing at the time, but I made so many wonderful side ships in this story (that have been the bases of my new stories, so win-win), but I were to do it again today, the end ship would have probably been SasoHina, and I would have probably leaned a lot more into the initial ItaHina that was happening. Would anyone be interested in me releasing a SasoHina 'what could have been' side story? I am working on more unreleased Akatsuki member x Hinata stories right now. 👀👀👀 (SasoHina, HidaHina, more ItaHina)

Writing Lavender Umbrellas makes my face hurt from smiling so much. I love the dynamic Kisame and Hinata have, and I love how their personalities mesh. Height difference tropes and big scary boi with small sweet girl tropes have my whole heart. Having the Akatsuki as a bunch of teenagers makes for endlessly entertaining scenes. This story is so much cute fluff I never want it to end.

Death Wishes is darker than I initially meant it to be (I say as a story about a girl who is being followed around by death), but it feels oddly comfy to me, and I want to make so many more ItaHina fics, but I always come up for ideas for SasuHina instead >.<. I think Itachi is just too kind for me to have enough drama to keep stories going. More ItaHina to come, though. (That ItaHina office AU has to happen at some point)

I Will Love You - the new one. This is a fun concept I am excited to explore. I am going to try to make it not cross too many paths with Testing Success. The idea of Sasuke's actions being constantly unclear, how much he's playing it up, and how much he means will be fun. It will make the point of where the relationship slides from fake to real a fun find, especially on a second read.

Bread and Tea is proof that even in a one-shot, I can't just let the characters have happy lives. A good friend @nikandrros said it best that she opens it up and thinks, "How is Lavender going to torture Hinata in her new story?" but I always promise a happy ending, and it's all the sweeter with a little bit of painful backstory. I have had requests to continue this one shot, and I will leave that open to do one day, but I have no plans at the moment.

Alright, end of keyboard mash. Have a good day, read a good ship, and thank you for all the support! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

More fic to come!

[taegularities]

Oh I was entertained to the fullest and till the very last devoured the whole thing in one sitting like 🍗💋

Firstly I love it more than before everytime I read your recent works it's just gets better your writing is just getting better with every fic and the whole description just crunchiest shit 🫦🫦 which is so rare to get such quality in this fanfiction community and very few who just do it WE LOVE IT BABE the growth and hard work you put in these ffs so much love and appreciation for you and lots of respect

Personally love this inner monologue of jk's you did in this just OH MY FUCKIN GOD like for a good minute even after knowing he gonna be assy musty bitch I was rooting and feeling for this guy so much.

My thoughts were like okay it's just little insecure narcissistic eittiy bittiy baby boy we are dealing with who is about to get his shit wrecked up and down but DASH 💨 we got some other route I knew it exact the moment Chaos coming when oc mentioned the college and her friend like yes bitch ✨✨✨✨ you are fucked 🤭🤭 we are getting a HIT 🔥🥵 SHOW

And is it bad to say I feel little bad for the unreleased song unfortunate how poor song isn't getting released anytime soon #justicefortheunreleasedsong

WOW LIKE WOW scrumbley delicious smut gosh RID you really outdid yourself with this one just 👩🏻‍🍳🍳 I wanna know how you writing this good smuts lately so much better than some actual publishing authors 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Now coming to the oc's friend I understand her and sympathize her and nor I wanna sound like some completely unsympathetic person BUT !!!! like C'MON GURL HE WAS A CLEAR CUT VISIBLE RED FLAG he put on display of himself and still you went in like your friend is able to see more into your whatever relationship than you at all we clearly DELUSIONALLY BLIND 🦯 too our own goodness but that was very dumb 😭😭 of her I'm sorry like we can't even blame her people even IRL be doing shit like that. I'm not victim Shaming at all like yes what the fucker character of jk did was absolutely disgusting and deserved Karma he got at the end

But how come she never thought of her friend who was constantly there for her like if you would have asked oc to commit murder I'm sure she would have gone all 🤺🤺 not that we support such stuffs 🙅🏻‍♀️ but some 🦨 nasty deserve

Being for real if not legal action she and oc could have pull some smart move revenge prank back on him if only she genuinely listened to oc I don't know I feel bad how she just didn't give much thought and went away so fast after that fuckers bullshit talk

Btw I Love that playlist thingyy you did cherry on top loved how similar taste we share (⁠´⁠ ⁠❥⁠ ⁠`)

And about jk's character dynamic I feel like he always prefer himself in way he chased himself in people from very childhood getting full on best treatment and praise from all side clearly made him little narcissistic and self obsessed with zero expectations of returning back anything to the point he thought of anyone but him and his Chase for more appreciation and undivided love in different people all the time till he get's bored from them when they start asking back for the some love YK which is what we get to see with jangmi like all he wanted was typical love me all you can without wanting back in return till I get board and toss you I'm sure even after all that he keep on doing same shit with others assholes like him never stop any lower

Untill he got faced with something to Chase more just like parallel to his career we can see it's like he wants to something to engage with on constant like a spoiled brat child who is more so anticipated of opening the gift rather than receiving or appreciation of others hope it's all making some sense ⊂⁠(⁠◉⁠‿⁠◉⁠)⁠つ

And I kinda I wish there was more of uglyness from oc's side yes I'm through and through satisfied but still I was wishing more of a femme fatale crazy havco taking place her making him all tangled up in love  and obsession full-on blinded by her to the point he can't still imagine her do something like this just swapping off floor from his feets like ⛽🔥📛👩🏻‍🚒🚒

Really love you appreciate you for putting this out here for us 💖🙏🏻

~🦴🔫 anon

32k in one sitting is insaneeee 😭 omg did i get better? thank you.. as someone with a creative hobby, this is all i could hope for :') gosh, i bet there are so many people out there who are amazing and do even better stuff than i do, but you're so sweet and i'll take the compliment 🥺

glad you liked the jk pov :P he's super secure and insecure about himself at once!! definitely is a narcissistic, whiny baby either way :') yes!! the world missed out on the song bc it was my time, one of the greatest tracks ever made, but what can we do 🤣 THANK YOU FOR LIKING THE SMUT. i am quite proud of it, if i say so myself, like i do think it was one of the better ones i've written so far :D how i'm writing such good smut lately? who'd know 👁 LOL

you right you right, the friend was certainly naive, but i guess that was just part of her personality, you know? like, jangmi was an extremely kind, extremely giving person. she trusted others and she believed in love, she just gave that trust to the wrong person. she hoped she could change him, or make him love her; just a very "oh a bad boy, i can fix him" kinda mistake. oc isn't like that – she sees through people fast.. and she tried to convince jangmi, but love is love and it does make you blind and you only really see the issues once the loved one is gone in one way or another. things would've turned out so differently if she'd listened to her best friend though sigh :') and oh, oc definitely wanted to take legal action! or hurt jk in some way, but jangmi, as someone who really really liked kook, did not want to go that far.. she was not the type of person to take revenge or pull a prank.

hehe okayyy, i put a lot of thought into the playlist!!!! so happy you enjoyed it!! any fav song on it?

yup yup, the top notch treatment he got from his family, and as the younger sibling too, certainly shaped him. made him selfish for sure; for him, nobody is good enough, and he def deffff doesn't expect anything from anyone!! except maybe attention and love, but he won't settle for long enough to actually give anything back. proceeds until he gets bored and then moves to someone else. chasing someone else was new for him, which is why oc intrigued him so much haha she didn't give a shit about his advances :P

yeahhhh, i think oc has a lot more in her than we know, but since the fic was already too long and we didn't see much of her thoughts or anything from her pov, it was a bit hard to go the full femme fatale route 🤣 not sure if he would've ever fallen in love with her, tbh.

i appreciate you so so much, babe!!!! thank you for dropping such a long fkn review??? i'm sorry i got to it so late, but i wanted to give a thought out response. literally, never stop and ily <33333