#unofficial brother and sister in law that actually get along with each other (most of the time)

[kismetmoon]

gangway !

[Plain text ID: a short repeating animation of two original Flatland characters, Liz and Chief Jr., on a white background.

Liz is a black line creature with stars shapes on either end of her body. Chief is a grey circle with a black crown on his edge and a black line denoting his mouth.

Liz comes towards and spins around Chief before leaving the scene via the far right. Chief spins with Liz as she passes by. As Liz spins him around, his mouth changes from a neutral expression to one of annoyance by bending into a frown and then opening as if shouting angrily.

End ID.]

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime – One // Wanda Maximoff

story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter two

author’s note: here’s the long-awaited first chapter! i do hope you all enjoy!

Also a quick one – Y/B/N = your brother’s name, Y/M/N = your mother’s name and Y/D/N = your dad’s name

"You move anymore and you're gonna hit a waiter."

I gave my brother a disapproving look as he grinned at my dismay. "Easy for you to say. You're wearing a suit and not a dress that's heavier than your body."

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and squeezed it gently. "Y/N, you complain too much. Look where we are! You need to learn to enjoy yourself."

Taking a look around the room, I saw a hall filled with people I didn't know mingling with one another. Flutes of champagne were on almost every hand and laughter filled the air as everybody enjoyed their evening, soaking in the luxuries of a ball somebody I didn't know was hosting. Orchestral music was drowned out by conversations and servers moved through the hall like mice, scuttling around and constantly topping up champagne. I wasn't a fan, as usual.

"Are you both ready? Your father is bringing the Maximoffs here any second," my mother's voice grabbed my attention. "Y/N, at least try to look happy to be here." 

I forced a smile, making her give me a knowing look before looking to my brother and fixing his tie.

"You both know how important this is," she told us for the millionth time, fussing over my brother's appearance. "They're expecting–"

"Well-behaved, respectful individuals," I finished for her. "We know, mum. You've told us only a gazillion times."

She pressed her lips together, hands on her hips as her eyes fell to me, displeased. "If this engagement is to go as planned, I need you on your best behaviour."

"I'm always on my best behaviour," I reassured her. "But okay. I'll lighten up."

"Thank you," she said with a grateful smile, before glancing over her shoulder. "Okay. Here they come. Smiles, please."

My brother looked to me, showing me his teeth. "Is there anything in my teeth?"

I cracked a smile to make myself feel better. "Gums."

He gave me a disappointed look. "You know men don't like women who are smart arses." 

I rolled my eyes at his comment, knowing men didn't like women who didn't like men. But, of course, I didn't say that.

All her and my dad had been talking about for the past few weeks was this engagement. My brother, a very successful author, was to be engaged to his publisher's twin sister, some girl called Wanda. The Maximoffs were an esteemed family and their unification with ours was in everyone's best interests, especially my brother's who was one of the most eligible bachelors in the city.

I didn't know much about the Maximoffs, only that their son and my brother's 'boss', if you will, Pietro, ran a successful publishing house. It had been in their family name since their parents emigrated to England from Sokovia when Pietro and Wanda were children. They'd built themselves up from nothing and were now high members of society, the perfect family to be involved with.

Y/B/N was to be engaged to Wanda, their daughter, since she was getting to that age where they wanted to find someone for her. My brother's name was put into the mix when Pietro recommended him and the rest was history.

Tonight was the first unofficial meeting with them and my mother had been nonstop lecturing me on the dos and don't's of how to act, as if I was a child that couldn’t behave. Of course, it was only a mere greeting. The true engagement was to be proposed tomorrow night, but that didn't matter to my fussy mother who was insistent on making a good impression.

I found myself straightening up and pressing my hands down my dress to rid it of creases as my brother adjusted his blazer. The Maximoffs were being led our way by my father, the four of them all with smiles on their lips and flutes of champagne in their hands.

"Dear, I would like to introduce you to Mr and Mrs Maximoff and their lovely children, Pietro and Wanda," my dad introduced, stopping before us, before looking to the Maximoffs. "This is my family. My wife, Y/M/N, and my children, Y/N and Y/B/N."

"Please, call me Oleg and my wife Iryna," the twins' father, Oleg, said with a kind smile. He held out his hand to my mother, adding, "It's a pleasure, Y/M/N."

They shook hands and then looked to my brother and I, exchanging quick greetings with us. As they were saying something to my brother, probably gushing over his writing as everyone did, I took a look at the quiet twins behind them.

I vaguely recognised the guy and his striking silver hair from my brother's work, knowing he was Pietro. But I'd never seen the girl before and knew immediately that if I had, I wouldn't forget her face. She was stunning, it didn't take a genius to see that. But not the stunning that you glanced once at and forgot about. No, she was the stunning that knocked the breath out of you and made you forget what your name was.

"...lovely to meet you again!" my brother was saying all the right things to impress his soon-to-be in-laws, but it went over me as I found myself unable to tear my gaze from this mystery woman.

Further introductions went on in the background, before the green eyes I was so enthralled with were looking my way, making me blink suddenly. I instantly looked away, afraid I'd been caught, and zoned back into the conversation that was taking place.

"It's great to finally put a name to a face," the girl, Wanda, was saying to my brother with a honey sweet smile and sultry Russian-accented voice, and judging by his expression, he was just as caught up in her beauty as I was. "I look forward to getting to know you more."

"And I you," he returned with his signature grin.

Her eyes fell to mine once again, lips curving into an amused smile. "And of course, Y/B/N's beautiful sister, Y/N. How lucky a man he must be to have a sister as stunning as you."

The others chuckled, clearly taken by Wanda's smooth way with words. In their eyes, it was flattery at its finest. After all, she was to be welcomed into our family and sucking up to the sister was the best way forward. But I guess, I'd like to believe that there was some truth to her words as her entrancing green eyes sparkled with delight.

"You don't need to win over my sister to get on my good side," Y/B/N joked before I could speak, stealing Wanda's attention away momentarily.

She suppressed a laugh, tilting her head as she studied him with an unreadable expression, before looking to me with curious eyes.

"Thank you for your kind words, Wanda," I finally said to her, offering a small smile.

"Anytime," she quipped, biting her lip to contain her smile.

It was oh so wrong of me to even slightly check her out as she did, knowing that it was not only inappropriate since she was to be my brother's bride, but also wrong since she was a girl and I wasn't supposed to do this. A heat crept up neck as I avoided her teasing gaze, wondering if she knew what she was doing or if she was just a naturally flirty person.

"I'm Pietro," her brother spoke, making me look up again. He was directing a charming smile my way as he continued, "It's an honour to finally meet my best author's younger sister."

I put out my hand for him to shake, but he simply grabbed it and pressed a gentle kiss to the top. I flushed at the contact, a nervous smile on my lips.

"Er, it's nice to meet you, too, Pietro," I returned, subtly wiping my hand when he let go of it.

The twins stood side by side, smiling our way, and I realised just why all the chatter in our social circles revolved around them. Charming, distinguished, good-looking – they were the whole package.

Our parents continued to talk, catching up and talking about stuff I didn't care much for. Every now and then, Y/B/N would chime in if a question was directed his way, or Pietro would add his two cents, or Wanda would say something funny, and I would pretend to get along with all of them when I so desperately wished to go home and go to sleep.

Admittedly, my eyes veered over to my soon-to-be sister-in-law every now and then, unable to look away. She was drop dead gorgeous, with bright hazel eyes that looked green like the earth at this moment, and long brown hair that was pulled back out of her face, revealing her charming smile. Sometimes, when she would smile really widely, a dimple would expose itself on her left cheek at the corner of her mouth, and I was sure that nothing else was cuter than that. Y/B/N was one lucky man.

"...would love for you all to come to our home tomorrow evening for dinner," my father was inviting them all over, bringing me back to reality. "It'll be a great way to get to know each other in a more intimate setting. And it'll give the kids a better chance to get to know each other."

Iryna smiled brightly. "We would love to, Y/D/N. Tomorrow evening is great."

"Perfect," my mum said excitedly. "We'll see you all then."

"Do enjoy the rest of your evening," Oleg said, looking to us all, before looking to my brother. "And Y/B/N, it was good to meet you tonight. I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow."

"You, too, sir," Y/B/N said, shaking his hand with a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Oleg and Iryna gave us all a smile before turning to leave. Pietro and Wanda did the same, though when Wanda's eyes flickered to mine, she waved her fingers slowly and with a playful smile on her lips. My mouth opened slightly, unsure what to do or say, but nobody seemed to notice as she turned and left, leaving me standing there with confusion.

"Well, I think that went well," my mum said, and I tore my gaze from Wanda's retreating form. "Couldn't have gone better actually."

"I agree," my dad said, wrapping an arm around my mum's waist with a smile. "Tomorrow night will be splendid." He looked to Y/B/N. "What did you think of Wanda, son?"

Y/B/N looked like he was on top of the world with his love struck smile and relaxed posture. "She's beautiful. And did you hear that accent? Wonderful."

My mother chuckled. "How sweet. You're already smitten."

"What did you think of her, Y/N?" my brother asked, and all eyes fell to me.

I straightened up. "Oh, I– er– she's very nice. A beautiful young woman."

"Right?" he said in agreement. "I feel like she really likes you, too. How cool is that? You guys can become friends and be, like, close sister-in-laws."

I forced a small smile. "Yeah. Something like that."

Of course, for everyone's benefit, getting along with Wanda Maximoff was the best bet. But something about her was different and I was yet to discover what.

—

The following evening was when we saw the Maximoffs next. As invited, they turned up at our front door dressed less glamorously than last night, given the occasion, but appearing just as excited. Our servants were quick to take their jackets and hang them up elsewhere as we exchanged greetings in the hall.

The Maximoff parents were genuinely kind and humbling people to be around, I'd come to learn that when they thanked our servants for their help and asked them how their day was, making friendly chatter. Not many people did that when entering our home – it was certainly refreshing to see. They greeted Y/B/N and I kindly before moving onto our parents.

The Maximoff children were just as kind, though with a hint of mischief in their stride as they moved to greet my brother and I. Pietro approached me first, lips pulling into a smile as he bowed playfully. In the corner of my eye, I could see Wanda and Y/B/N exchanging greetings.

"It's a pleasure to be in your presence yet again, Y/N," Pietro said generously. "You look lovely this evening."

A smile appeared on my lips at his kind eyes. "Thank you, Pietro. You look very handsome this evening also."

"Apparently it's lamb for dinner, is that true?" he asked, taking me by surprise. I wasn't sure if he was serious, but when his sister slapped him on the arm, I figured he was.

"Don't be greedy, Piet," she scolded him like this was a regular thing.

"What? It was a simple question," he said with a shrug, before looking to my brother with a grin. "Ah, Y/B/N Y/L/N, my favourite writer."

As he moved over to greet him, Wanda looked over to me with a knowing smile.

"It's good to see you again," she said softly, maintaining eye contact.

"You, too," I played along with whatever was happening, the usual script at a time like this. "I'm sure tonight will be something special for you and my brother. It's good to have you here."

She tilted her head intimidatingly. "Bol'shoye tebe spasibo."

I raised my eyebrows, intrigued by her ability to change languages so smoothly. Though, it made sense since she was Sokovian, making Russian her first language. Didn't make it any easier to not be attracted to though.

"I'm sorry," I apologised. disguising my attraction with genuine confusion. "What does that mean?"

She smiled, a hint of smugness present as she answered, "Thank you very much. That's what it means."

I pressed my lips together, humming in response. She held my gaze for a second longer than usual and I wanted to look away, but I was drawn in by the beautiful golden flecks swirled into her irises, captivating and chilling all at once. She didn't seem uncomfortable with the eye contact, instead revelling in it with a content smirk when she saw me squirm. I ended up looking away first, unable to hold a pretty girl's gaze for more than a few seconds without panicking.

"I have something to show you!" my brother was saying excitedly to Pietro. "It's in my study, c'mon."

The two of them wandered off before my mum could stop them.

"Don't be too long, boys!" she called after them, before sighing and looking to Wanda and I. "Y/N, dear, why don't you show Wanda around upstairs, maybe? Hopefully the boys should be back after that and we can all eat dinner together."

I swallowed hard, glancing at a still-smirking Wanda, before looking back to my mum. "Erm, are you sure?"

"Yes, yes, go on, it'll give you ladies a chance to get to know each other better!" she insisted, before ushering me away. "Don't take too long though. Dinner will be ready soon."

Licking my lips nervously, I nodded, watching my mum return to the conversation my dad and Wanda's parents were having. They were led into the living room as Wanda and I were left standing in the hall, her waiting for me to say something.

"This way, I guess," I got out awkwardly, purposely avoiding her eyes as I motioned to the grand staircase.

"After you," she said politely, and I said nothing as I took the lead.

I ended up showing her around the upstairs rooms, including the library we had and the many guest rooms. It was a big home with lots to show for it, so the tour wasn't too boring.

Wanda stayed quiet throughout it, sometimes dropping in a comment or question every now and then, but otherwise listening intently as I explained everything as interestingly as I could. When she did speak, she would leave me fumbling for words or forgetting how to speak altogether. I wondered if she was teasing me on purpose, wanting to get a rise out of her soon-to-be sister-in-law, or if she just wasn't aware of what she was doing.

But every time her mischievous gaze fell to me with a matching smile, I knew that she had to be aware of her actions. Nobody was that teasing without wanting to be. So, that led me to my next question. Why?

Eventually, the last room on the tour was my bedroom. I stepped inside first, holding the door open for her as she followed after and looked around with amusement.

"This is your room," she stated, feet taking her further inside as she took in the appearance of my desk, my bed and my wardrobe. "Fascinating."

I was curious to know what she meant by that, but realising that this woman was an enigma in more ways than one, I knew she wouldn't give me a straight answer. So, I said nothing as I followed after her, remaining close as she soaked in my belongings.

Stopping at my desk, her eyes gazed over the papers spilling from closed notebooks, books marked with string and pens littered across the wood. Thankfully, nothing was open and she didn't seem to be the nosy type, so had no intention of going through anything.

"I see you like writing," she noticed, fingers hovering above the notebooks but not quite making a move to touch them. "Runs in the family, doesn't it?"

"I guess," I said, unsure what she wanted to hear.

She looked up at me, smile tugging at her lips. The same damned smile that had been directed at me since she got here.

"Do you write like your brother?"

I tried not to laugh. "More like he writes like me."

She watched me closely, amusement dancing in her eyes. "He's the author in the family."

I mirrored her smile, though mine was fake. "Published author, love. Doesn't make him the only one."

A chuckle flew from her lips as she looked across my messy desk again, clearly not offended by the hint of annoyance in my voice. I shouldn't have been so offended by her words – she didn't know anything about me – but it always ground my gears when people stuck up for Y/B/N like he was God's gift.

"Do you write?" I asked, half interested and half wanting to change the subject. The least I could do was try to get to know her a little better.

"I prefer painting," she answered without mischief. "It's my favourite thing to do."

Her eyes lit up at the mere mention of art, but she did a good job at reigning it in. She was still studying the books on my desk, distracting herself with the spines instead of facing me.

"And what do you like to paint?" I asked, genuinely interested now that I was beginning to see her actually fond of something that didn't involve making me flustered.

She shrugged, but I knew it was a pretence. "Scenery. Landscapes. We have a beautiful garden at home and it's a pleasure to paint." She finally met my eyes again, a smile of adoration on her lips as she continued talking about the garden. "The flowers, the trees, the little pond we have. It's the perfect subject."

The smile that appeared on my lips was automatic as her passion for her hobby was contagious. The way her whole face lit up, eyes bright with excitement and lips unable to do anything but smile, was intoxicating and I tried not to get lost in the moment. It was true though, what people said. Nobody looked more beautiful than when talking about something they loved.

"I’d love to see your work sometime," I told her earnestly.

Playfulness returning, she hummed in agreement. "Only if I can see yours."

I laughed, looking down at my shoes. "Maybe not."

"Well, that's a shame," she said, still playful, though when I looked up, I almost believed her.

She did that thing again, where she stared at me and held my gaze as if reading my innermost private thoughts. Intimidating wasn't the word, yet it was the only one in my mind as I watched her attempt to decipher me. Clearing my throat, I looked away, suddenly aware of how close she was stood.

"So, my brother," I changed the subject yet again, noticing the entertained expression she wore. "You like him?"

"We are to be engaged, are we not?" she asked with a quirked brow, like the answer was obvious.

I hid the smile from my lips. "That's not what I asked, love."

She licked her lips, pursing them as she saw what I was trying to do. My eyes were immediately drawn to her mouth as she did, and I almost forgot to look away until she started speaking again.

"My parents arranged this," she admitted, not losing composure. "Y/B/N is a gentleman and he seems like a kind man."

I noticed how she still avoided answering the question, but decided not to say anything about it. My eyes studied her curiously though, wondering why exactly she'd agreed to the marriage then. Maybe it was a sense of duty, like every woman had nowadays. Eventually my time would come too and maybe I would be stuck in the same position as her.

"I adore his writing though," she added, like she needed to say something genuine to make up for her lack of answer.

"You and every other woman in the city," I mumbled knowingly.

Wanda let out a breathy laugh. "I'm aware of his many admirers, yes, but can you blame them? He has such a fantastic way with words. And don't get me started on that first piece he ever wrote..." Her eyes rolled back with satisfaction. "It's my favourite. I had no idea who he was back then, but the words he wrote were enough to make me fall in love. I guess it's convenient that my new husband is to be your brother, the author."

I crossed my arms as I leaned against the desk, trying not to break out into laughter. Not because of Wanda's words – they were actually quite sweet – but because of the whole situation. It was hilarious to me, since I was the reason Y/B/N got his big break as a writer anyway.

Following in our father's footsteps, Y/B/N wrote manuscript after manuscript with hopes of getting published. But unfortunately, he never got anywhere with it. I was also a writer, having been taught by my father like Y/B/N when I was a young girl, but unlike him, I was told to stop when I got older because it was 'unladylike' and 'not a woman's place'. That didn't stop me however, and I continued to write like no tomorrow.

Y/B/N's big break, and the first manuscript of his that got published by Pietro – ironically the one that Wanda was discussing right now – was written by me. I gave it to my brother, hoping he could get inspiration. He ended up sending that in and getting signed because of my work. And even now, I occasionally helped him work on pieces that otherwise wouldn't see the light of day.

But nobody wanted to hear about the young, unmarried woman who writes about other women like they are God's best creation. So, Y/B/N keeps the fame and credit whilst I write in private, unable to share any of my work with the world unless it's in excerpts of my brother's books with his name on the front cover.

"That first piece was pretty good, wasn't it?" I played along with Wanda's words, a hint of bitterness in my tone of voice.

Wanda studied me up and down, teasing smile tugging at her lips. "Jealousy doesn't look good on you, milaya."

I hummed in acknowledgement, feigning a smile in response, though I wasn't sure what that last word meant. Probably another Russian term she was using to throw me off. Of course she'd assume I was jealous of my brother's recognition. She didn't know the truth and she never could. She was also to marry my brother, the perfect author, soon; my bitter state was merely a jealous sibling and maybe it was easier to let her think that way.

"Dinner should be ready now," I told her, straightening up. "Let's head down."

She followed after me and I said nothing else as I led her back downstairs, trying not to think about how much of an ego-boost this dinner would be for my brother.

There was nothing better than hearing everyone gush over the work your brother took credit for that you actually did, right?

"Ah, ladies, perfect timing!" said my mum when we reached the dining room where everyone was taking their seats. "Please, sit and we can get started. It's a lovely roast from the kitchen tonight."

As I made my way to my usual seat opposite my brother, I saw Pietro fist-pump the air at the mention of the lamb roast, making Wanda roll her eyes and me smile at his action. Y//B/N took his seat and Wanda's parents seemed to take the two chairs beside him already. My parents took to each end of the table, leaving the Maximoff twins no choice but to sit beside me. I sat at the same spot as usual, at the edge of the table so my left-handed self wouldn't bother whoever was sat beside me, and take a lucky guess to who sat on my right.

"Wanda, dear, how was your tour?" my mum asked her as she got comfortable beside me, leg and shoulder almost touching mine and making me both nervous and disgruntled.

With a grin wide enough to impress my mother, she answered, "It was great. You have a beautiful home, Mrs Y/L/N. And Y/N was a lovely host."

At that last comment, I felt her eyes glance towards me and I wondered if she was having fun making me squirm because I knew for sure that I was anything but a lovely host.

"That's reassuring to hear," my mother responded as the food was brought out and placed in the centre of the table. She seemed like she was joking, but I knew she was just glad I'd been on my best behaviour. "And please, call me Y/M/N."

Wanda nodded gratefully as my dad began to cut into the roast. Food was served up and drinks were poured as everybody began to dig in. The Maximoffs sent their compliments to the chef, admired our home and were the perfect guests, just as they were expected to be. My family complimented Wanda and Pietro's manners, talked about how business was going and laughed at every joke Oleg and Iryna uttered, just as they were expected to be. It really was a picture-perfect scene and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

Okay, maybe I was acting a little cynical. The Maximoffs weren't that bad, at least not as bad I'd assumed they would be compared to my parents' other friends. They were down-to-Earth and humbled people, a welcoming change from the usual. I just hated forced dinners and being scrutinised under my mother's eyes to behave, hence the clipped attitude.

And just on cue, the topic steered towards something lovely.

"We can't forget to talk about Y/B/N, bestselling author over here!" Oleg beamed, motioning to my brother. "I have to admit, son, I'm amazed at your writing. You clearly have your father's talent."

My brother smiled bashfully as I watched on with narrowed eyes and a tight grip on my fork.

"You flatter me," he said, but Iryna shook her head.

"I have to agree with my husband here, Y/B/N," she said. "Your writing is superb. Pietro, obviously, loves it, and Wanda is a huge fan, too."

At this, my brother glanced towards Wanda with excited eyes and she merely smiled and looked elsewhere, either embarrassed to be mentioned or playing coy. Rolling my eyes came naturally at this point.

"Tell me, how did you think of what to write for that first book?" Iryna asked with intrigue. "It was my favourite one."

Ah, yes, the first book. Apparently everyone's favourite one.

"Oh, it's best not to bring all that up–"

"I'd actually like to know, too," Wanda cut him off, her curiosity getting the better of her as she leaned forward onto the palm of her hand and watched him under long eyelashes.

I couldn't keep the smile of delight from my face as I too leaned forward curiously, eyeing my brother. "Yes, dear, brother. Please, do tell us of how you came to write such an honest, heartfelt first book."

At this, I felt both my parents send me a warning look as they knew the truth. But neither of the Maximoffs noticed as their attention was solely on my brother.

Luckily for him, he was a great liar and he smiled his charming smile and nodded, looking between the four guests.

"I guess it started after my third failed manuscript," he began, very believably. "I realised that there was something missing from my pages. Something real and genuine. Something that would appeal to my readers and make them question just how much they were appreciating their partner, you know?"

As he rambled off into another literary spout of nonsense, my smile faded and I gritted my teeth, wondering how he'd gotten so good at lying without giving away a sliver of pretence. The Maximoffs were hanging onto his every word, fascinated by the mind of a writer. I tried not to let it get to me as he butchered the meaning behind everything I had written in that first novel. Some things were better left unsaid.

When he finished, questions were fired his way and my parents watched on with pride in their eyes, as he answered them with ease. I chose to stay quiet, as usual, letting him soak in the credit for something he didn't do.

"And what do you think, Y/N?" Wanda's voice included me in the conversation, and everybody's eyes fell to me. I was only looking at her as her lips were pulled into a wide, suggestive smile and she continued, "How is it being the sister of one of today's bestselling authors?"

The usual forced smile that accompanied my lips whenever talking about Y/B/N because present, but my eyes were questioning Wanda's as she was clearly trying to get a rise out of me yet again, especially now that she assumed I was jealous of her husband-to-be's fame. Her stupid beautiful smile and stupid pretty eyes and stupid attractive accent were all taunting me.

"It makes me proud to know that he's come so far from when we were younger," I said, and though I was irritated by the way it had happened, my words weren't entirely false. "He's a talented man and he clearly has a way with words. What more is there to say?"

The elders seemed touched by my words and when I looked over the table to meet my brother's gaze, I saw the gratitude in his expression, hiding behind his smile and reserved for me. I nodded subtly, letting him know I was happy to keep his secret as long as he wished, just like we'd agreed.

Chatter and compliments soon turned to the real reason for our presence – the engagement. I tucked into my dessert as I let them talk about dates for the engagement party, logistics for guests and all the other details I could care less about. Only when my brother mentioned my name did I look up, surprised to see all eyes on me yet again.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I asked politely, glancing around.

"Y/N, honey, lay off the chocolate cake, will you?" my mum said with a smile that I knew was code for 'put the bloody fork down'.

I forced a smile of my own as I lowered my fork and sat up straight, very ladylike, and looked to my brother.

"I was saying how I'll be sure to pick a beautiful engagement ring for Wanda here," he no-doubt repeated for my sake. "And maybe you could help me choose, to make sure it's something she may like."

A genuine sarcastic smile broke out on my lips, though not because I was interested in ring shopping with my brother. I knew absolutely nothing about dear Wanda or her taste in jewellery, but a woman was to do what she was best at – shopping! So, without sharing my true thoughts on the situation, I nodded respectfully and hummed in agreement.

"Of course," I said what everybody wanted to hear. "I'm sure we can find something to suit Wanda's taste."

Everybody resumed chatter about the wedding as I sighed quietly and got back to my cake. My right hand rested by my side and I jumped, startled when I made contact with Wanda's fingers.

"Sorry," I apologised, moving my hand a little from hers but keeping it there. "Left-handed an' all. I tend to forget."

Green eyes pierced through me with a matching sly smile. "No problem, milaya."

Again with the 'milaya' talk – what did that even mean? I returned the awkward smile as I continued eating, but I didn't fail to notice the way her hand would brush against mine throughout the rest of the meal.

Either by accident or on purpose, I'd never know, but I had my suspicions.

[ofstoriesandstardust]

Champagne Problems-Diego Hargreeves

a/n: WHO’S READY FOR THE ANGST?! here we go lol. i’ve never written a song-inspired fic but here we are. this part 1 of of my 2 valentine’s day fics. the other is a cute luther fic and hopefully I’ll be able to write more umbrella academy so... NO I HAVE NOT FINISHED SEASON 2 DON’T COME FOR ME. i’m also totally willing to write a second part to this, especially after i hurt myself so bad so if it’s something you’re interested in, please let me know. listening to champagne problems during this is probably a good idea. this also exists minorly in my law and order: special victims unit x the umbrella academy universe but it’s really only slight mentions of ADA work, so no real connection. 

masterlist | prompt list

warnings: ANGST, Hazel, Agnes, and Eudora live and Ben comes back to life because I said so, post-Texas apocalypse but my own storyline because I haven’t finished season 2 yet, my own thoughts and feeling in the form of the main character, Ben’s secretly a history nerd, Tumblr fucked with my spacing and I’m salty

word count: 3,064 (including song lyrics)

You booked the night train for a reason

So you could sit there in this hurt

Bustling crowds or silent sleepers

You're not sure which is worse

-

You always opted to take the cases that kept you up the latest at night, working the hardest to get victims justice. You refused to sleep at night until you knew you’d be able to put a killer or rapist away the next day. Which, in turn, meant that there’d often be nights a detective would call in need of a warrant, already knowing you’d still be awake. However, there would be nights, weeks, even, where it was a small case or no cases at all. Those were the days you’d busy yourself in the office until you had no other reason to be there, finding the later you took the subway home, the fewer people there would be. Usually, the quiet of the night calmed you and gave you time to reflect. Sometimes though, your mind would wander to him.

-

Because I dropped your hand while dancing

Left you out there standing

Crestfallen on the landing

Champagne problems

-

Diego had taken you on a drive, bringing you to the city of Manhattan. You always spoke of your love of the city, missing your time spent there while in law school. The two of you had gone for a walk and picnic through Central Park and as the sun was beginning to set, leaving the New York sky a dusty pink, he grabbed your hand as you talked about your favorite memory at the Chinese place just down the road. You paused, looking up at him, seeing the love for swimming within his features. After that night, you had grown to hate the sight of Central Park and avoided it by all means necessary. Your team had never been able to figure out why.

-

Your mom's ring in your pocket

My picture in your wallet

-

Although never actually married to Reginald, and despite the fact that she was an AI, Grace had a wedding band she kept tucked away. When Diego had introduced you to Grace, he knew that you would be the one he’d marry. You were so kind to the AI, not batting an eyelash at her charging port or her sometimes distant nature. She was Diego’s mom by all accounts, and he’d be damned if he was going to live the rest of his life with a girl who didn’t respect his mother. Despite Diego’s fear, you and the AI got on splendidly and at the end of the night, when you were talking to Pogo, Grace brought the boy upstairs and slipped him the small band. She smiled at him and Diego had to restrain himself from crushing the sweet women in a hug. “Just in case.” she had said.

-

Your heart was glass, I dropped it

Champagne problems

-

Diego had tried from the very beginning to be honest with you that he came with a lot of issues. Building trust had been difficult and a fragile process. You had been patient and kind and understanding and everything he was certain he didn’t deserve. Diego slowly learned to let his walls and heart open to you and by the end of it, Diego believed that you had melted his heart of ice and worked your way into his life and family. Until you turned away, dropping the ice heart, shattering it.

-

You told your family for a reason

You couldn't keep it in

-

When you and Diego had first met, it had been purely by accident. You were just moving into the apartment across the hall from Vanya’s and he had come barreling down the stairs after Five. After knocking you and one too many boxes to the ground, Diego profusely apologized, concerned eyes flitting across you to make sure that you indeed weren’t hurt. He had offered to help you finish moving your belongings, wanting a few more minutes with the pretty girl on the stairs. You agreed and asked if he would be interested in grabbing dinner with you that night since you didn’t know anywhere in town. He agreed and the two of you had always considered that your unofficial first date. As the two of you grew closer and Diego’s family became interested in the mysterious ADA with whom he spent all his time, the more determined Diego became to shelter you from them. His family came with a lot of baggage, a lot of trouble, and you had enough just trying to put the bad guys away. But as he became more certain he wanted you in his life for a long time, the more he knew he wanted to tell his siblings. After the apocalypse, he and his siblings had tried to repair the broken bridges and had been successful for the most part. So, one night, at family dinner, he looked around at his siblings, laughing at some witty comment Five had made, and he blurted it out before he could stop himself. The siblings went quiet, looking over at him. You had just met Grace a few days ago, and he was sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. “I think I’m going to marry her.”

-

Your sister splashed out on the bottle

Now no one's celebrating

-

Allison had been the most excited, wanting to plan an elaborate engagement scheme, wanted to help him pick out the ring. He let her too, unsure of really what to do, and was happy to see her so excited about something. She had convinced Diego to introduce you to her and Vanya, wanting to get to know you, to accurately help Diego (and of course to get to know her future sister-in-law, with whom she was determined to be best friends). As the date that they had settled on drew nearer, she bought an expensive bottle of champagne, stating that only the finest would do for her brother’s engagement. Diego rolled his eyes, but deep down he appreciated that she cared about him this much to help him. When Diego returned to the Academy that night, unannounced and much later than originally intended, Allison immediately knew something was wrong. The siblings looked around at each other, in shock and disbelief. No one had really thought you’d say no.

-

Dom Pérignon, you brought it

No crowd of friends applauded

-

You weren’t sure why Diego brought the bottle of champagne with him, and he wasn’t sure either, both knowing you didn’t drink. As you stared at him, and he stared at you, hurt flickering across the other’s face, all Diego could focus on was the fact that he brought that stupid bottle of champagne. Why had he listened to Allison, or Vanya, or any of the Hargreeves for that matter? Diego was not meant to get a happy ending, he was sure of it. And he had gone and tempted fate and had gotten the heart-breaking answer he knew all along.

-

Your hometown skeptics called it

Champagne problems

-

The Hargreeves had taken Diego out to Griddy’s that night, not sure what else to do with him. Hazel and Agnes looked at him, pity in their eyes. The police chief of the town was there, the one who had despised Diego entirely and was entirely infuriated when he had found out his favorite ADA was “messing around” with the disgraced ex-police officer-turned-vigilante. He looked at the pity party that seemed to be happening in honor of Diego and laughed. “She always was too good for you. Glad she finally realized it.”

-

You had a speech, you're speechless

Love slipped beyond your reaches

And I couldn't give a reason

-

Diego had a speech, he had. He’d prepared it with Grace and Allison and had practiced it a million times over, to make sure he wouldn’t stutter. Klaus and Ben had listened patiently, giving him pointers and Vanya had even helped him rewrite it when he thought it wasn’t conveying what he wanted to say. And yet, as he looked at you, he couldn’t think of a single word of it. He was nervous, sure, but he was so consumed by the love he felt for you, that he just blurted out, “Wanna get married?”. He offered wondered if he had given you a speech, told you how much he loved you, why he loved you, if you’d still be with him.  

-

Champagne problems

Your Midas touch on the Chevy door

November flush and your flannel cure

"This dorm was once a madhouse"

I made a joke, "Well, it's made for me"

-

Diego had been so nervous bringing you to the Academy to meet his siblings. He wasn’t sure how’d you react to the dysfunction of his family and he was terrified in anticipation of what the siblings might say or do that would scare you off. Luckily, you and Klaus had immediately become attached at the hip and you were already familiar with Vanya. Luthor and Five had been cold at first, waiting to see if they were up to their standards and if you had ulterior motives with Diego. You, of course, passed with flying colors and by the end of the night, you had them laughing and sharing embarrassing stories of Diego. Allison was enthused and happy to welcome you to the family. Ben had engaged you in a deep conversation about the legacy of ancient civilizations long after anyone else cared to listen or contribute. Still, Diego had been nervous it was all a front as to not have the dinner be awkward and uncomfortable. As he drove back to your (unofficially shared) apartment, he had joked that his house was a madhouse. You had seen right through him, knowing he was trying to apologize for the chaos that is his family and that is, well, Klaus. You had laughed and told him that if you could survive in your madhouse of a family, you could survive in his too.

-

How evergreen, our group of friends

Don't think we'll say that word again

-

As Diego looked back on your relationship, he looked for signs that you were unhappy, or wanting to leave. He was unable to come up with any, with the exception of one. You and Diego never fought. It couldn’t have been healthy but there was… never anything to fight about. You were both okay with the other’s line of work, and while not perfect, Diego was learning to be open and honest with you about what he needed from the relationship and you had always been so receptive to that. Ben had once joked that he hadn’t seen plants so evergreen as your relationship. You had laughed and Diego smiled, happy he had someone that was so easy to be with after all the hardship he’d experienced in his life. Now all Diego could do was look back on that memory with the bitter taste of regret.

-

And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls

That we once walked through

-

Christmas had been your favorite holiday ever since you were a child. As you had gotten older, the excitement faded, but the cheer and happiness that came from watching old Christmas films and dancing to songs in your kitchen as you baked cookies found its way into your heart without fail every year. So, when the first Christmas with Diego came around, you had cautiously asked him if he’d like to celebrate it with you. Diego tried not to speak too much on Reginald, and from what you knew about the man, Christmas didn’t seem like something that was being celebrated at the Umbrella Academy. Diego had shrugged, saying he didn’t really know what Christmas was about to know if he’d enjoy celebrating it or not. Thus, you had taken Diego to look at lights and watched all your favorite Christmas movies as a child and listened to songs while baking family recipes and he had even helped you decorate the apartment. By the time Christmas rolled around, Diego had started to understand why you cherished the holiday so much. But waking up the morning of Christmas to gifts you had picked out for him, one making up for every year he lost out on what Christmas was supposed to be like, he felt his heart growing three sizes more, like the Grinch from the night before. Diego had never felt a love as pure when he looked at you.

The next year had been no different, just on a larger scale as the whole Hargreeves clan joined in this time. That year, Christmas morning found the Hargreeves boys whisper-yelling at Diego about how he had found the perfect woman as they woke to an abundant amount of gifts under the tree. You dragged Vanya and Allison down the stairs, insisting the family had to open presents together. Klaus had insisted he act as Santa, stating the real Santa should get to sit with her boyfriend. You hadn’t protested, seeing how much a kick he got out of the hat and curled up into Diego as he sat with his back against the arm of the couch. Diego ran his fingers through your hair, and you laid your head against his chest. Luther, wide-eyed, asked you how you were able to pay for all of it. You had shrugged and stated that being an ADA paid you a much larger salary than you knew what to do with and moving out of Manhattan meant a lot less on rent. When Vanya asked why you’d bother spending all that money on them, your response had ensured to Diego that he’d found the right one. “Well, you guys are like family to me. And you never got the Christmases I grew up with and it’s all about making other people happy. I wanted to give you back the Christmas you never had.”

As he looked around at the decorated Academy this year, Klaus and Ben insisting on continuing the tradition you left behind, Diego just felt an overwhelming sense of hatred of the colors and lights. All just painful reminders of what he lost. Of the girl who left.

-

One for the money, two for the show

I never was ready, so I watch you go

Sometimes you just don't know the answer

'Til someone's on their knees and asks you

-

Luther was the only one who could never quite believe you were with Diego totally and completely. Maybe the misgivings came from his strained relationship with the second Hargreeves boy but he always believed you were in it for one of two reasons. Either the money that came with Hargreeves fortune or the fame that came with the Hargreeves name. Of course, Luther wasn’t you, and would never understand the real reason you had said…

“No.” Diego looked at you, hand on his pocket, ready to give you Grace’s ring, unsure if his fear was playing tricks with his head. You shook your head, “No, Diego. I’m sorry.” When those words had left Diego’s mouth, your heart had stopped. You loved Diego, more than anything you had ever known, but the untold horrors of your life before Diego came rushing to the surface and began to choke you. How could you marry Diego when you couldn’t disclose the worst moments of your life to him for fear of being a burden on the already broken boy? You realized at that moment, you could be everything Diego needed, but you would never allow Diego to be everything you needed, setting your relationship hurtling for sure-fire failure. You gasped, the tears threatening to render you breathless. “Diego, I-” And in a moment of pure, blind panic, you grabbed your things and ran, leaving the boy devastated behind you.

-

"She would've made such a lovely bride

What a shame she's fucked in her head, " they said

-

A few weeks after that night, Diego found himself alone at the Academy with Five. The two of them were sitting at the bar, not saying much. Finally, Five put his drink down on the table and looked at Diego. “I am really sorry about her, Diego.” Diego looked up at Five. “It’s a shame she’s got too many issues up here,” he said, tapping his head, “to give you what you wanted. She was one-of-a-kind.”

“What are you talking about Five?” Diego questioned, mildly annoyed Five brought you up.

“Did she give you a reason why, Diego?” Number 2 shook his head. “She always seemed to have her own issues, her own baggage, she was never willing to discuss. Maybe her issues with marriage was one of them.”

“That’s ridiculous Five, she would’ve told me.” Diego said, taking a sip of his drink. But as he thought about it, the more he wondered if Five was right. You had told him about your less-than-ideal relationship with your family and disclosed the fact that you didn’t drink due to a genetic predisposition of being an alcoholic, but he had always sensed there was something more you wouldn’t share.

-

But you'll find the real thing instead

She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred

And hold your hand while dancing

-

One night, he ran into Eudora at Griddy’s making a midnight waffle run for the family. She told him she had heard about the failed proposal and that if he ever wanted or needed to talk, she’d be there. He called her a few days later, and the two of them met up at a bar for a few drinks. He told her about you and that night, and as Diego talked about it, he realized that pain subsided. The outings to the bar became weekly occurrences and he found himself enjoying the company and comfort Eudora offered. And as Eudora found her way back into his life, as time went on, Diego realized he thought of you less and less.

-

Never leave you standing

Crestfallen on the landing

With champagne problems

Your mom's ring in your pocket

Her picture in your wallet

You won't remember all my

Champagne problems

You won't remember all my

Champagne problems

[theicequeenwrites]

Day 4: Relationships with the Gaang

Because I liked both of these prompts but didn't have enough time to make two pieces, I combined both of today's prompts from @atlaocweek This is lengthy, so most of this is under the cut!! read sister, sister on ao3

-taio meets the gaang at a confernece in ba sing se after being invited by sokka and zuko when they meet at an obscure bar

keep reading for their dynamics!

Katara

-taio and katara actually get along right away, despite what everyone thought would happen

-they're both down to earth but competitive and ruthless when necessary

-when he first moved to the palace, katara gave him some hints on surviving in court and gave him a messenger hawk so they could always talk to each other

-the first time he and azula were in charge of her kids though, she threatened him so hard he blushed for an hour afterward

-when azula and taio revealed they were in a relationship, she gave him the shovel talk

Aang

-aang and taio often team up with sokka to pull the best pranks of the rest of the gaang

-taio converts to being vegan because he falls in love with all the air nomad foods aang makes for him, he can't get enough of it

-he tries to teach aang how to write earth kingdom characters for an official meeting and aang ends up writing a very offensive message

-so taio ends up being the avatar's official earth kingdom translator as well as a teacher to their heiresses of the fire nation (and uncle to the kids of the avatar, which just baffles his mind)

Toph

-toph and taio understand each other on a deep level, they both had lives forced on them because of the war but in very different ways

-toph was the first to realize he had feelings for azula, because of her ability to sense heartbeats, and named herself as his best friend from that point out

-taio's the only person who knows who the father of toph's children are and she helps him formulate the perfect first date for azula

-he takes her back to the farm, and his mom immediately adopts her, making her all her favorite earth kingdom foods but with much more love than she's used to

Suki

-taio and suki didn't see much of each other in his early years in the palace because she was always at kyoshi island or training new recruits, but when they finally do actually spend time together, they get along in a quiet way

-some times they get drunk on traditional earth kingdom liquor, the type no one else can stand, and don't say a word, they're just there for each other

-slowly, after years and years of companionship, they start confessing small things, which turns into big things

-they don't go out of their way to hangout with each other, and aren't the first letter they send when something big happens, but they're still just as close

Sokka

-sokka and taio are brothers-in-law of sorts, they're married to zuko and azula respectively, and see a lot of each other. they have a dep respect for each other; taio can only imagine how hard it is to be a political figure and sokka can't imagine spending everyday surrounded by varying amounts of children

-but also they understand what its like to be married to a child of ozai, and everything that comes with it -the nightmares and guilt and bad habits

-they like to do random things together (like inventing cameras), cause absolute havoc, and spoil the the kids, they're the only members of the fire family ever to have limits placed on their spending because they get so excessive

-they also make a lot of public appearances together as "the husbands" and spend a lot of time fine tuning their politiking together and trying not to crack up when people are watching

Zuko

-zuko actually loves taio, he thinks he's the best guy he's ever met (besides sokka, obviously), he admires his openness and confidence, two things zuko still struggles with. and he loves how well he gets along with senna and izumi + all the other kids

-he thinks he's the perfect match for azula too. even after her 'redemption' and growth she's still wild and competitive and brash, and taio can match her or ground ehr when necessary

-zuko and taio share an interest in tea, and are often accosted by iroh and new blends that are a toss up in flavor

-as much as taio and sokka bond over being the trophy husbands, taio and zuko bond over being the sane husband and often watch their spouses go on wild adventures or do crazy stunts (like invent the first flame thrower)

+Azula

-taio wasn't looking to fall in love when he went to the palace, it was just a job. but then the 'unofficial royal nanny' as azula calls herself was always with senna and izumi who he was supposed to be teaching all about the earth kingdom. and suprisingly fast, they became good freinds, they just worked together

-during times when all the gaang's kids were in the palace they wrangled them together and then snuck away to the roof or the gardens to unwind together

-sometimes, azula would just fall asleep in his rooms and it slowly became a pattern. purely ~platonic~ cuddling. and the first time she had a nightmare when they were together, he had no clue what to do so he took her on a run, and ever since then when they can't sleep or have nigthmares they go run or hike

-and on her bad days, he knows how to take care of her, knows to just exist besides her, and not press for any more than that

-together, they cause absolute chaos on the palace, take in a plethora of young children and people who work in the palace that need parent figures

-taio never expected to engage with the gaang when he took the job in the palace, but he spends the rest of his life loving and being loved by them

[alipeeps]

New tag game: Post pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game

Thanks to @minmoyu for tagging me and ooof, are you sure you’re ready for this?!! :D I have been around/in fandom for a loooooong time and at first I thought, okay, no way I can list all my crushes, there have been SO many and we’ll be here all day but then as I started compiling a list I found I was having fun reminiscing and decided, what the heck, yeah, let’s do em all... or at least all I can remember! :D

There have absolutely for sure been other more minor crushes and passing fancies along the way, but these are the big ones that I remember (and that, in more recent years, I can track by going through my posted fanfics on AO3 and even *shudder* FFNET and seeing which shows I was into enough to want to write fic about the characters).

[Quick note: with rare exceptions, for actors I am listing them by the character they played rather than just the actor. Whilst there are actors that I like in multiple roles (and conversely, characters who on paper I would normally be into but are played by actors who do nothing for me, and hence the character generally does nothing for me either), for the most part it is the character I really have the crush on.]

I’m going to put this under a readmore cos it has gotten ridiculously long:

So... without further ado:

1. MORTEN HARKET from a-ha - OKay so, dating myself badly here but... I had the *biggest* crush on Morten Harket when I was a teenager. Pretty much the entirety of my side of the bedroom I shared with my sister was covered in posters of a-ha, and Morten in particular. I even had a heart-shaped Morten Harket pillow! :D I loved a-ha’s music (still do!) and I wanted to go see them in concert when I was 14 but my parents wouldn’t let me (*sob*). I did finally get to see them in concert in the early 2000s and they were BRILLIANT live (and Morten was still very very pretty)! 

2. RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON as MACGYVER - MacGyver is the first tv character I remember being really into and having a crush on, to the extent that I would record episodes of the show off the tv (onto VHS tape - yes, I am *that* old!) so that I could rewatch them (especially the ones where he got hurt - yeah, I was a whumper even then! :D)

3. KEIFER SUTHERLAND - One of my rare exceptions. I think I first saw him in Lost Boys (and loved him in that film) but it was his role as Doc Scurlock in Young Guns that really made me fall for both the character and him. I definitely remember seeking out any and all films he was in and buying any magazine he was interviewed in (and knowing far more facts about him than was probably healthy! :D) and even drawing a fanart portrait of him. :)

4. KYLE MACLACHLAN as SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER - I remember hearing about Twin Peaks before it started airing in the UK and it sounded so different and interesting... I watched it from the very first episode and very quickly developed a crush on Coop.  

5. BRENT SPINER as DATA - I think ST: TNG had been airing for a while before I stumbled across it but I quickly became hooked and Data was my favourite character right from the start. I definitely remember at one point buying an (unofficial) episode guide book so that I could look up which episodes were good Data-focused ones (especially ones where he got hurt! :D) so I could go out and buy the videos that had those episodes on (at the time the show was available to buy on VHS-tape with 2 episodes on each tape).

6. DAVID DUCHOVNY as FOX MULDER - Another show that I heard the buzz about and started watching right from the start and, like so many others, I immediately developed a crush on the snarky, enigmatic, troubled FBI agent with the weird name. The X-Files was the first show I ever tried writing (one, never-finished) fanfic for.

7. PAUL GROSS as BENTON FRASER - Man, Due South was such a good show! It was so quirky and clever and funny and Benton Fraser, with his huge heart and his serious demeanour and his gorgeous blue eyes, was just so darn attractive! He also got whumped a fair bit too! :D Due South was also the show that introduced me to the music of Sarah McLachlan (I was enough of a fan that I bought the show soundtrack on CD).

8. HUGH LAURIE as DR GREGORY HOUSE - This was a bit of an odd one for me because I had grown up knowing Hugh Laurie solely as a comedian/comic actor, known mostly for playing buffoons and genial idiots. And suddenly here he was with stubble, an American accent, and a limp, and he was hawt AF! :D It caused quite the feedback loop in my brain for a while which pretty much went “Wow, House is hot.... but it’s Hugh Laurie... but he’s hot... but it’s HUGH LAURIE!!1!”

I *loved* House (the first few seasons, at least) and oof a character with persistent pain (and a self-destructive streak a mile wide!) was a whumper’s dream. House was the first show for which I wrote - and published online - completed fanfics.

8. JOE FLANIGAN as JOHN SHEPPARD - Stargate Atlantis was my first proper online fandom, the first show I prolifically and repeatedly wrote fanfic for, and the first time I ever met in person an actor I was a big fan of (and while the show was still airing, to boot!). It was also my first introduction to the online community of whumpers! A bunch of us from the Shep Whump thread on Gateworld heard that Joe was going to be at a convention in London and we decided to book hotel rooms and meet up and go to the convention together and it was AWESOME! I can still remember seeing Joe *in person* for the first time and just,,,, struggling to believe he was actually here, in person, in front of me! He was super super lovely and humble too and took time to chat to everyone at the signing table and I clearly remember my brain just pretty much fritzing out during the photo session and being intensely aware of the sensation of Joe’s hand on my shoulder....

It was also super lovely to meet fellow fans, and online friends, in person for the first time and we had so much fun, and it kickstarted me going to lots of other conventions, including specific Stargate/SGA ones where I got to know lots of other lovely fans and online friends. I’ve met Joe about 4 or 5 times in total now and he’s been lovely every time.

9. PAUL BLACKTHORNE as HARRY DRESDEN - Gosh I loved the shortlived tv adaptation of The Dresden Files. I loved the fantasy aspect, the stories, the humour, and I especially loved Harry Dresden and how often he got whumped! :D 

10. DAVID TENNANT as THE 10TH DOCTOR - I had watched the Christopher Ecclestone revival of Doctor Who and enjoyed it well enough but I can clearly remember watching David Tennant’s first episode as The Doctor - on Christmas Day, at my brother-in-law’s house - and being aware, as I watched it that... ooookay, yes, I’m in trouble here... I like him... I like him a lot... :D I mean, I’m sure the fact that he got whumped so thoroughly in his very first episode had nothing to do with how quickly I fell for him... right? :)

11. ALEX O’LAUGHLIN as MICK ST JOHN - Another show that ended far too soon and just as it was getting *seriously* good. But also a prime example of my point about having a crush on the character not the actor. I looooooved Alex as Mick St John... and yet in Hawaii 5.0 he pretty much does nothing for me (the character is too stoic and the whump often too unrealistically glossed over). Anyway, in Moonlight he was my favourite kind of character - angsty, brooding, dangerous AF when he needed to be... and essentially immortal so you could whump the heck out of him and he’d recover so you could whump him again! :D

12. SIMON BAKER as PATRICK JANE - There is so much to love about Patrick Jane... his smarts, his sass, his angst... and Simon is a rare “against type” blonde crush for me (you may have noticed by now that most of my crushes follow a similar physical aesthetic - tall, slim/wiry, and dark-haired) and again here I think my crush is almost all to do with the character rather than the actor.

12. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH as SHERLOCK HOLMES - I’m almost ashamed to admit it, given the clusterfuck that both the show and its fandom became, but in the earlier seasons I had quite the crush on Benedict’s Sherlock (and okay, a little bit on Benedict himself - I did definitely enjoy some of his other roles too). It helps that I was already a huge fan of the Sherlock Holmes character (I’ve read all the stories and novels multiple times and was a big fan of the Granada adaptation starring Jeremy Brett - whose Holmes would definitely count as one of my more minor/passing crushes) already. Benedict is another crush that I have met in person, at a (actually, the first!) Sherlock convention and he was lovely in person - very genuine, very articulate and thoughtful.

13. TOM MISON as ICHABOD CRANE - I was excited for Sleepy Hollow as soon as I heard about it and I was SUCH a fan for the first couple of seasons (before TPTB completely destroyed it and it inevitably got cancelled (I didn’t even watch the last season and a half)) and Tom’s Ichabod (and his amazing chemistry with Nicole’s Abbie) was a large part of why. I also quickly became a big fan of Tom himself as he came across as so witty and self-deprecating and *fun* in all the behind the scenes/convention clips etc. I was lucky enough to also meet Tom at a convention and he genuinely is that witty and charming and lovely.

14. TOM WISDOM as ARCHANGEL MICHAEL - I think Dominion was possibly the first show that I got sucked into by seeing whumpy gifsets on tumblr! :D It was such a great show and also to date the most immersive, welcoming, cast-and-crew-interactive fandom I have ever been in. The cast and crew regularly live-tweeted the episodes, and interacted with fans on Twitter, and it was SO much fun. And Tom’s Michael was my favourite character right from the start - seemingly aloof but so much going on under the surface... and some really nice whump, especially in season 2! I was heartbroken when it was cancelled after only 2 seasons (and just as the plot was getting *really* interesting).

15. OLIVER JACKSON-COHEN as LUCAS - I was hooked on Emerald City right from the first episode. It was visually stunning, so atmospheric, and really intruiging. I love love loved Adria Arjona’s Dorothy (ngl, I had a bit of a crush on her too) and she and Lucas together were just... *chef’s kiss*. I mean... what an introduction to a character... she finds him crucified, bleeding, his wrists tied with barbed wire, and amnesiac.... and the whump only gets better and better from there on in! Like the entire first two episodes are just... Lucas whump! :D And his devotion to her... Emerald City was honestly the first show where I really got into a ship. I was *invested* in Dorcas, dammit! Aaaand sadly another excellent show that never made it past its first season.

16. JASON RALPH as QUENTIN COLDWATER - Another show that I watched right from the start, was heavily invested in.... and that the writers absolutely tanked and destroyed in later seasons. *cries* Quentin was such a brilliant viewpoint character for the show and I loved his awkwardness, and his angst, and his enthusiasm, and his adorable floppy hair... and how often he got whumped! 

17. COLIN MORGAN - I fell for Colin in Merlin (which I stumbled upon late, long after it had finished airing, and hence was able to binge-watch the entire 5 seasons!) and liked him enough to seek out his other works, such as The Fall, and Humans, and The Living and the Dead, and he was brilliant (and very pretty) in all of them... and his characters also seem to get whumped quite a lot! :D 

18. MATT LANTER as WYATT LOGAN - Wyatt was another of my favourite archetypes... absolutely badass and competent... but also tortured and angsty and capable of intense devotion. Another show that I watched because of whumpy gifs on tumblr and the second ever show where I actually got invested in a ship - Lyatt all the way, baby!! :D - aaaaaand yet another show cancelled before its time.

19. NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM from FINAL FANTASY XV - my very first video game crush! I was recommended to play FFXV by fellow whumpers on the whumpshire discord because it was whumpy... and they were not wrong and I loved the game and I absolutely adored Noctis. FFXV is one of very very VERY few video games that I have actually played right through to the end. And possibly the only video game that has ever affected me to such an extent... I became so invested in the characters and their world and I actually found the last couple of chapters really hard to play because it was actually upsetting me emotionally. I had to take a break for a couple of weeks before I could go back and finish it!

20. CONNOR from DETROIT BECOME HUMAN - and from there I jumped straight into another video game crush! DBH was another game recommended to me for its whump potential and I, and many others, immediately fell in love with the quirky, sassy, self-sacrificing (if you play the game right!) “android sent by Cyberlife”. The game itself is really good too... although, I have tried to play through all the different endings to the story but have never yet managed to make myself play the machine Connor storyline.... I want to complete all the story branches... but I also just want Hank and Connor to be friends and to be happy! :D

21. ZHU YILONG - Ahhh... the beginning of the asian drama arc of my fandom life! I first came across Zhu Yilong after getting sucked into watching Guardian because of pretty (and whumpy) gifs on tumblr... and I’ve never looked back. He is one of the rare entries where I am pretty much guaranteed to like him in pretty much anything he does and my crush extends beyond Shen Wei, or his other characters, and into reblogging his fashion shoot photos, and keeping up with news of his work in general. He’s just... so darn pretty! And also so... blur! :D And the behind the scenes stuff and interviews of him with Bai Yu, during the Guardian era, just made me fall for him all the more. He’s also ridiculously talented - not only a fantastic actor, but a really good singer (I love his singing voice), he plays guitar and piano, and he can paint too!!

He’s also pretty much what made me start learning Chinese... because after Guardian I went seeking his other dramas to watch... only to find that many of them are only partially, or not at all, subbed. So I thought... why not try learning Chinese and then I’ll be able to watch his other shows? :D

21. JI CHANG WOOK - My first kdrama crush, and what a good one to start with! Healer was the first drama I ever watched and can you blame me for falling for JCW... especially when I followed up Healer with The K2?! I’ve liked him in pretty much everything I’ve watched him in. Although I do wish he would go back to doing more action-based shows as he is sooo good at them... but he seems to prefer the romcom genre these days, which is something I am nottt always a fan of tbh.

22. JAKE HSU as MENG SHAO FEI - Yet another show that I got sucked into by tumblr - and also one with a great, fun fandom through which I met lots of lovely people who I still follow/am mutuals with to this day. I just *adored* Jake’s character in History and I also loved the ship - Tang Fan and Meng Shaofei were awesome and adorable together and I was totally invested in both the ship and the gangster/cop/what happened years ago story happening alongside the ship. And Jake is just all kinds of cute.

23. XIAO ZHAN - Aaaand we are pretty much up to current day now... where The Untamed took over my life in the summer of 2019 and has yet to let me go. Xiao Zhan is another disgustingly talented human being - a fantastic singer and a really good actor, and also an artist - and he also just comes across as a genuinely sweet and charming person, and a very thoughful and earnest one too. And lbr he is ridiculously pretty, and his smile is just pure sunshine. 

24. LEE DONG WOOK as LEE YEON - The most recent entry to the charts.... a Korean actor I was aware of but whose work I hadn’t watched and whose looks didn’t particularly seem to grab me... until I watched Tale of the Nine Tailed and fell head over heels for Lee Yeon (and daaayum does red hair suit LDW!!) and very quickly began to find LDW’s looks very appealing (and oh my, does Lee Yeon whump well!!). And yes, I have now started watching Goblin. :D

Phew! Aaaand we are done! I’ll admit, I did think of a few more as I was compiling this list but I decided to categorise them as more “minor” crushes and not include them... otherwise we really could be here all day!!

I’m going to tag: @sarah-yyy​, @arlothia​, @howdydowdy​, @thepromiseweheldforlife​ and @the-wandering-whumper​!

[un-lovely]

OC Masterpost

Diana

female, early 20s

short, with long black hair that reaches her calves; hazel eyes with epicanthic fold; sharp facial structure and lean build

daughter of Rhea and Sebastian, both from noble families; has 3 siblings (order): Selena, Brigid, and Iris; 3rd born, after Brigid

can be stuck up and rude, but is not unkind; can be aggressive to those she dislikes and possessive with those close to her

is best friends with Antonio (calls him Toni) and they are actually platonic soulmates

love interest is Adan; their relationship is a constant push/pull of the other, which balances them out

in near constant conflict with her sister, Selena, due to personality differences

struggles with emotional issues

is the best cook out of all OCs but doesn't like baking other than hand making bread

Antonio

male, 5 years younger than Diana

medium height, black eyes, sun streaked hair with a lean build; has buck teeth and a crooked smile with a youthful face

father disappeared during childhood and mother passed away when he was young; no other relatives

is mute; speaks in sign language and voice output on phone

is generally crotchety with a no-nonsense attitude, but is very supporting and affectionate with loved ones

is best friends with Diana; they're both stubborn, a fact that keeps them friends but often leads to them butting heads

love interest is Carlos; he is genuine, kind-hearted, and a little awkward, which Toni finds endearing

doesn't like Adan because he and Diana always meet explosively or in terrible circumstances

came from a humble background, as opposed to Diana, which lead to fights about money

he doesn't like to lie

likes to garden in his free time

Adan

male, 3 years younger than Diana

taller than Toni, but thicker; has a belly and muscle; short, black hair, strong jaw, and heavy-lidded dark brown eyes

large family consisting of parents and 6 siblings; is the 4th oldest

reticent and hyper empathetic; still waters run deep; slow to the point of stagnation

is best friends with Isaias, like brothers from a different mother

love interests are Diana and Sara, but Diana is the push to his pull and understands silence well

will overthink a problem till it no longer exists

hates being called boring

can be surprisingly intimidating and dominant when pushed/angry

hobby is playing guitar

Lucio

male, 2 years older than Diana

the most attractive OC, lean but not muscled, with long, black hair that passes his shoulders; grim features that always make him look serious; light brown eyes

mother passed away due to illness in teens, father is abusive; has a twin sister, Liliana, and other unnamed siblings

always serious, but is not unkind and will always help those in need

no love interest; was engaged to Diana in Supernatural AU but does not care for her romantically

either is friends or enemies with Diana, depending on the AU

likes reading

Carlos

male, 4 years older than Toni

taller than Toni but not by much; brown skin and brown, curly hair; has green eyes and dimples

has parents and cousins but they live far away; don't really speak that often; is an only child

generous and kind; even tempered and always looking out for others; can be kind of shy with strangers but is more open with friends and family; described as "warm"

lives alone and has no close friends except for pets

love interest is Antonio, who he finds hides a beautifully noble and wise mind beneath his cranky exterior

not very good at interacting with Diana, but considers her a friend

is a very good neighbor

experiences bouts of loneliness due to his distance from most people and society

hobby is tending to his farm

Rhea

female, middle aged

average height, but still taller than Diana; wavy black hair, honey brown eyes the same shape as Diana's and a rounder face; has curves but mostly lean

mother passed away young and she never knew her father; has a younger brother; married to Sebastian and has 4 daughters

has a kind heart, but can be selfish at times; very loving to all, but has to learn how to act like a family head and aquire confidence; very playful and youthful

best friend is Maria, a servant girl she grew up with but that sees as her own sister

love interest is Sebastian; they are true soulmates, both romantically and in terms of friendship; they understand each other without words

has had a rocky relationship with Diana for years, but this is due to her being overbearing at times

is heartbroken her daughters (Diana and Selena) are constantly fighting

gets along very well with her mother-in-law, Angelica and goes to her for advice

hobby is any activity with a family member or the entire family

Sebastian

male, middle aged

very tall with a thin, bony frame; light brown hair, large nose, and bony features; green, slightly droopy eyes; wears glasses

has both parents and a brother almost 20 years older than him; no other extended family

is neither shy nor awkward but does not make it a habit to talk to others; he is mild-mannered and noble; gets stuck in his own head often

best friend and lover is Rhea; they are two halves of one whole, a two headed being

he has a rocky relationship with his mother, Angelica

comes from a dying, cursed line of nobles

The Best Dad™️

likes reading everything but law and business; he dislikes business majors

Selena

female, 6 years older than Diana

average height, curvy, with wavy, brown hair; dark brown eyes; face shape like Sebastian's

has both parents and 3 sisters; Brigid, Diana, and Iris; is the oldest

can act haughty but is serious and practical; can be a bit of a killjoy and has a hard time loosening up; is not mean but will not respect someone until they earn it

best friend and lover is Liliana; she helps Selena see the beauty of the world without its practicality; they lead a quiet life together

is constantly in conflict with Diana, mostly due to her hurting their mother

likes fashion and making her own clothing

Brigida (developing)

female, 3 years older than Diana

short, thick and curvy; black, wavy hair and a round face with upturned eyebrows; has her paternal grandfather's eyes

has both parents, and 3 sisters; Selena, Diana, and Iris; is 2nd oldest; is married with 2 children

soft-spoken and a bit of a pushover; finds confidence in her husband and children

she grew up being the peacemaker between Selena and Diana, and as such, dislikes conflict of any kind

is kind of afraid of Diana

likes cooking and watching TV

Iris (developing)

female presenting, 3 years younger than Diana

average height, thin, and slim; long brown hair and thin face; eyes similar to Rhea; androgynous features

has both parents and 3 sisters; Selena, Brigida, and Diana; is youngest

is often silent and speaks softly; many regard her as mysterious; difficult to pin down

best friend is (Nameless OC #33)

she takes after her paternal grandmother in terms of gifts

hobbies are taking walks and daydreaming

Isaias

male, 3 years older than Adan

tall and wiry, very skinny; thin, fine features with brown, curly hair and dark brown eyes

mother leads a bad life and father is in jail though none of them speak; no other blood family known; unofficially adopted by Adan's family

can be charming and likable, but finds it difficult to be genuine; is self conscious about his family history; likes figuring people out like puzzles

best friend is Adan, likes to anger him by pretending to be his lover in public

no love interest

used to have anger issues that he's been working on; they still get the best of him sometimes

has an intense stare

hobbies are harassing Adan to see how he'll react and going out clubbing

Angelica

female, much older than she looks

very tall, taller than Sebastian; long, tight curly hair, heavy lidded eyes and a large nose; curvy

has no living blood relatives; married to Gabriel and has 2 sons, Gabriel Jr and Sebastian

is mysterious and seems to always know more than she lets on; very wise and is someone many come to for advice; always tells the truth but never answers a question

best friend and lover is Gabriel Sr; they understand each other well and have weathered tough times together

Gabriel Sr calls her "my sphynx"

she is a powerfully gifted psychic with an affinity to pyromancy

she mourns her rocky relationship with Sebastian, though it's cause is well-warranted if accidental

she considers her oldest son to be a good friend of hers

her hobbies are being admired by her husband and tending to her doves

Liliana

female, late 20s

beautiful; medium height with a lot of curves; large hazel eyes and a round, chubby face; hair is toffee colored

mother passed away and has only a father; is twin to Lucio and has other unnamed siblings

she is soft-spoken and always happy; some would call her an airhead due to her bubbly attitude but she is in fact very clever

best friend and lover is Selena; they love each other dearly and hope to start a family of their own soon

hobbies are embroidery and making her wife laugh

Rene (developing)

nonbinary, age unknown

tall, with copper hair and light brown eyes

blood family unknown; has an unknown lover

will mold their personality to fit the people around them, all the while maintaining emotional distance

works for Diana in some AUs

is a sort of spy

Maria

female, age close to Rhea

average height, with a rectangular figure; brown hair and an oval face; pretty brown eyes

has a mother, no father, and unnamed siblings; is married with 2 children

is always laughing and cheerful; exudes a girlish innocence but is trained to kill; she is not afraid of lying to protect her loved ones

best friend is Rhea; despite having been raised and trained to protect her, Maria's affection for her is genuine

husband works far away, so she sees him rarely

seeing as she became good friends with Rhea, she was educated in combat, psychology, and noble etiquette from a young age without Rhea's knowledge

likes Sebastian immensely and finds his physical and personal attributes charming; she is happy he brings Rhea joy

Rhea's girls call her AuntieMum

hobbies are spending time with her family and gossiping with Rhea while cooking dinner

Sara

female, around Adan's age

short and stout; bigger frame; curly, black hair with a round face and large, dark eyes

has a large family

she is generous and has a cheerful disposition; she loves to talk, though she sometimes doesn't want or like silence

love interest is Adan; they are a good match but she is sometimes unwilling to coerce him from his bouts of silence and stagnation

Ricardo

age unknown, very old

a dog that lives with Angelica and Gabriel

simply wants validation

Clementine

age unknown

an orange cat that lives with Diana

has only 1 braincell but experiences frequent power outages

Last updated: Aug 21, 2021

[jeyne-stark]

To the lovely anon who sent me a delightful message detailing how Theon and Robb couldn’t get married because it isn’t historically or canonically accurate for the North to be accepting of gay relationships:

Amazing. Every word you just said was wrong.

Let’s begin.

To the first claim, that it isn’t historically accurate for two men to marry, let me discuss the case of Bertrand du Guesclin and Olivier, Lord of Clisson, who, in October of 1370, swore several oaths to each other. Most of them were martial, fittingly for a pair of warriors: mutual protection in case of attack, a division of the profits of war, and so forth. These oaths were written out, sworn on a Gospel book in the presence of a priest, and sealed with a kiss. None of that is terribly unusual for an oath at the time; perhaps they were merely brothers in arms—and indeed, they do refer to each other as brothers.

Except that they held joint property, and swore to love the other’s wife and children, and they had provisions in these oaths for what should become of their joint property in case that they didn’t have heirs. (It was to be used for masses said for their souls and their parents’, incidentally.)

And they weren’t the only ones swearing such oaths. The practice of “brother-making” in the Western Church was fairly common (and distinct from what was going on in the Eastern Church, who continued performing such ceremonies until the 1980s, and who get very annoyed when it’s compared to same-sex marriage). Among the lower classes, there is less pomp and splendor, but the tax rolls regularly show two apparently unrelated men cohabitating.

To say nothing of the various unofficial relationships, particularly common among monks and nuns, which don’t usually get mention in the official records but do crop up in literature.

(And yes, the medieval era was a really terrible time to be queer, please do not take me saying “there were established ceremonies similar to marriage in the medieval era that bound two men or two women together in a life-long bond” as “there was no homophobia in the medieval era,” those two statements are not at all the same thing.)


And this is only western medieval Europe; get even a little bit further afield in time or place and you find records of two men marrying all over the place—or at least having official, recognized, accepted relationships, which is marriage by any other name. 


So, it’s not in fact unrealistic for a fictional country that’s only pseudo-medieval at best to have an established tradition that two men can marry if they want. 


All of that said, let’s be real here, if Westeros was even pretending at historical accuracy, all of that long flowing hair should be tied up and covered, long hair is a bitch to wash with modern technology and only worse with the technology level indicated in Westeros, and covering hair protects it from the need for frequent washing by keeping the dirt off.


To the second point, the idea that Westeros canonically has homophobia: does it? Do we see that? You’d imagine that Stannis would use it to discredit Renly’s claim, but it never seems to come up.

There is one solitary instance that indicates a slight stigma around it in the North, which is that it’s implied that the prostitute who tried to rob Hothor “Whoresbane” Umber was a man, and that the gender of the prostitute is why it’s only talked about in whispers, but that isn’t confirmed on any level—either that the prostitute was a man, or that the gender of the prostitute is the reason why the incident isn’t discussed openly. Regardless, Hothor still holds a position of power in the Greatjon’s household, indicating that whatever the reason for that incident having a stigma—which could be simply because it was a prostitute—it isn’t considered a significant mark against him.

The show did add a layer of homophobia into the culture: Joffery’s threat to make homosexuality punishable by death is show-only, and it’s not clear whether that gets carried out and established as law. Similarly, the Faith’s position on homosexuality is only a factor in the show, and the High Sparrow was rather making shit up as he went along during the trial, so that doesn’t really indicate that Renly and Loras’s relationship was forbidden because they were both men. (Although, since Renly was married to Loras’s sister, it would be forbidden for adultery and possibly for incest, depending on exactly how closely the Faith hews to real-world canon law.)

Even in the show verse, however, one of the first things we learn about the North is that they’re different than the South. It’s the Seven “with all the rules,” as Ned puts it, and the Old Gods don’t particularly care about what their followers do, aside from the big stuff like incest, kinslaying, breaking guest right, and suchlike. The North keeps the Old Way, and nothing we hear of what the Old Way is indicates that homophobia is actually part of it. They also officially break away from the South, meaning that any laws that apply in the South, such as Joffery’s hypothetical edict, do not apply to the North.

In conclusion, there’s no indication of established homophobia in Westeros at all, let alone in the North, only an implication of a slight stigma or scandal. The North doesn’t have to be homophobic unless you want it to be, and if you do, maybe take a moment to reflect on why you want that.

Historical accuracy is not, I’m afraid, a very good figleaf.

[mediocrewritingsofacrazycanadian]

Clodilin Utrix

Full Name: Clodilin Tardak Acublis Utrix (Clod-ohlan Oo-tricks) 

Nick name: Olin, Sir Dumbass, Sabre of Death, L.B (Lizard baby)

Age: 19 1/2

Race: Drotoz (Humanoid Lizard person species)

Height: 5′8″

Eye Color: Yellow with slit pupils

Hair: Dark blue mohawk (usually worn in spikes)

Abilities/Powers: Night vision, poison saliva, incredibly hard armor-like skin, knight training, really good hearing and sight

Weapons: Dual scimitars, fangs, claws, poison, tail

Job: Cook assistant/ unofficial counselor/ poison expert/ unofficial crew pet tbh

Personality: Awkward as all fucking get out especially around new people, loves puns more than life probably, he is the chillest of everyone, food is his one true love, spends most of his time when not training or working in the kitchen napping on deck in the sun or curled up by the forge in Nix’s workroom cause it’s warmest in there, legit just loves laying in the sun and reading, he’s the guy you got to when you’re stressed or need advice or just need to chill with someone because he is the most supportive friend ever and just being around him chills people out, he’s almost never angry ( it takes a lot to get him to a point where he’s no longer calm and relaxed, however a surefire way is to threaten or harm his family and those he considers to be his family), gives really good advice and likes to make people happy, likes to have his hair played with when he he doesn’t have it up in spikes, gives the literal best hugs ever, loves to cook because food is usually good at making people happy (and because food makes him happy), sings to himself a lot, believes unshakably in his moral code and will not break it (but it’s his code only, other peoples laws and codes do not apply to him as far as he concerned unless it coincides with his own code), doesn’t like the dark even though he can see in it, taps random rhythms with his claws if he’s bored or zoned out, zones out a lot (usually by accident), is the best listener and loves listening to people, loves to read (trashy romance novels and adventure are his favorites), good a hair braiding (if you’ve got long hair in this crew he has braided your hair at some point for sure because he’s the best at it), trips over his own feet (and tail) a lot, stutters over his words sometimes (and says things out of order by accident and sometimes accidentally slurs a bit or lisps slightly because fangs and a forked tongue can really screw up a guys ability to enunciate)

Physical Description: He’s covered in blue and green scales which are smooth to the touch one way and kinda rough the other, is humanoid but has a long tail starting at his tailbone and extending into a tapered point to the floor and clawed hands and feet, his spine and tail have a line of soft blue spikes down them (which change color like his scales), his mowhawk lines up with the spikes down his back and tail but is still made of hair (it changes color like his scales)and he also has dark blue eyebrows and eye lashes but no other hair on his body, his scales change color depending on the light and his moods (his facial scales will go from green to dark blue when he blushes for instance and when he’s full on mad his entire body will go dark green) but are mainly just mottled and mixed and have lighter blue and green markings along his tail and back and arms and such, his eyes are the kind of eyes that always make him look like he’s smiling, pretty much always has his scimitars strapped to his back in their sheaths, likes loose comfy clothes like cargo-type pants and t-shirt style shirts or shirts with no sleeves and v necks and usually in earth tones (green, grey, brown, brown-ish red, beige) or bright colors if he’s trying to impress a someone he likes (bright or jewel tone greens and blues and purples) because unique colors are supposed to attract more mates (or so his moms say), doesn’t wear shoes because he has clawed feet and prefers to have them bare in case he’s gotta fight but also because it helps him feel grounded and balanced, tail twitches and moves when he get’s nervous, is made of all lean muscle (he kinda hopes he gets big and buff when he gets older...he also hopes to get taller), doesn;t have human-like ears (instead has holes on the sides of his heads like an actual lizard that allow him to hear really well), has fangs (snake-like that he can retract at will) and a sticky forked tongue (He sometimes eats bugs and mice and has no shame about it), keeps his claws sharp always (includes filing them if they get too blunted), let’s Avala and Zira paint his nails whatever color they like all the time, wears leather bracers on his arms and cloth wraps (like a boxer) on his hands at all times, has a silver eyebrow piercing in his left eyebrow, wears a leather cord necklace with one baby fang from each of his seven siblings hanging from it to remind him of home. 

Backstory:

Olin (Oh-lin) was born to mothers Sephy Myhx Utrix (Sef-ee Mix Oo-tricks) and Fyra Streth Jylo-Utrix (Fear-ah Jeye-low) in an unnamed desert to the south, he is the third of seven siblings, two older sisters and two younger brothers and another two younger sisters. Olin and his family were very close and went everywhere together. The whole family traveled constantly from one place to the next, learning new things and meeting new people as they went. Fyra was originally from another desert and had traveled the world for a long time before she met and settled down with Sephy and their children  and during her travels she picked up many skills and experiences, one such skill was sword fighting which she taught to any of her children who wished to learn it , Olin expressed a desire in learning it a very young age and trained with his mother and siblings his whole life until he turned thirteen. At thirteen Olin was determined to become a knight someday, he’d heard about them and read about them and he decided he had to be one, that it was his destiny to become a brave and valiant knight. So the whole family moved to little town close to where an order of knights had their stronghold. Olin proved himself worthy of at least being trained by showing off his already formidable skills with dual swords alongside his excellent endurance and physical abilities. For the next few years Olin trained to become a knight, he excelled in anything blade related and his own natural weapons (claws, teeth, tail, night vision, armor-like skin) were a great help to him as well of course when it came to fighting and he had a surprisingly strong sense of justice and honor and was honestly the perfect example of a knight (even if he was a big lizard dude). Finally at age seventeen Olin was proclaimed a full-fledged knight of the realm and he was overjoyed at the idea of getting to fight for justice and all that good stuff. Of course less than a full year later he met Glory and her crew and it all went downhill real fast. See Glory and crew were arrested for being thieving pirate bastards and trying to sell stolen goods in town and then after talking to them while he was on guard duty one night Olin sort of figured that they couldn’t actually be as bad as the guard captain and higher ranking knights said they were because they seemed like generally good people despite being thieving bastards, and also maybe Olin thought that their life seemed way more adventurous and interesting . So Glory and crew somehow convinced him to release them which of course resulted in Olin being arrested and de-knighted, after which he went off in search of Glory and crew so he could join them. Glory let him join because she felt kinda bad for getting him de-knighted and also the idea of having a formally battle-trained lizard dude on board sounded way too good to pass up.