#unlike you hardcore never dies

[autoneurotic]

раз — тихо, два — дальше, три

[bloogers-boogers]

Got inspired to write this from @cakerybakery post !! Love them

Lucifer couldn’t help himself from the mixture of dreaded feelings he was experiencing at that moment, unable to sleep after realizing his clone and… Adam, were.. they had something. It was weird to even acknowledge it but how could you not? When you caught the enemy being in the arms of your clone sharing a passionate kiss. It was like your world froze at that exact point.

He didn’t know his clones could get to that position of consciousness, until he drained all the images, memories and thoughts his clone gave him after being evaporated out from existence. He didn’t think… it would feel. It felt so much during that time he was given the task to get Adam to safety and be healed. He didn’t even order him to do it himself! He was asked to be taken to a healer not to be the healer. Dumb clone.

He sighed while placing both hands on his desk, clawing the wood from time to time, he couldn’t believe it but the proof was right there. In his brain from vivid memories, from fresh feelings... The clone had fallen in love with Adam, and Adam… he too, had fallen for the clone version of himself. Now the results from such things are imprinted on Adam’s face when he sees him.

Being stuck at his daughter’s hotel has given the unpleasant experience for both men to see each other.

It’s like, a pang of guilt but also awkwardness hits every time their eyes met. Adam was clearly in pain but also angry at him. And well, it was not ideal to visualize your enemy naked in bed after having hardcore sex with your clone self.

That clone was fucking freaky too, went beyond what he’d ever done with Lilith. Crazy kinky motherfucker, made it even ten times weirder to handle seeing Adam when all he can see was the man being pounded on the wooden bed he had hand made to keep him safe and comfortable when he was still in the first few days of recovery. Then being use to fulfill the dirtiest desires they had in mind.

He shook his head, shooing all those thoughts away. All he ever wanted now is to have never discover what had happened but if he hadn’t who knows how much deeper it could’ve gotten between those two.

The guilt was eating him alive. In a way. He had taken another love from Adam’s life. In a way… he had hurt Adam again.

“Dad?” Charlie called out from behind the door of his workshop, snapping him out from his inner conflicted monologue.

“Yes, apple pie?”

“The activities are about to start, if.. you want to join? Will be downstairs.”

“In a minute, pumpkin! I’ll be right there.”

Lucifer sighed heavily, puffing out his chest, cheeks full with air, fists clenched tightly. It wasn’t his fault. This shouldn’t be weird. He shouldn’t be the one hiding! He didn’t ask for Adam to fuck his clone, he didn’t ask for his clone to had fallen in love with Adam!

He will be fine.

.

.

.

He is not fine.

Lucifer watched carefully as Adam had been teamed up with three hound sinners, one who was awfully close and constantly flirting with him. And Adam seemingly entertaining it.

He was not in any way jealous, but he was particularly beyond furious on his clone behalf. How could he be so easy going with some hussy after the supposedly “love of his life” died in-front of him.

Adam was a slut. His only conclusion. After all, he does recall this is the same man that most likely shoved his manhood inside all heaven when he was still up there. He knows. Adam would brag that shit in their dumb yearly reunions. All the fucking time.

Honestly, he wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case all along with his clone. Maybe, all this time Adam just saw him as a fuck buddy while he was still at his care until he fully recovered back to his dick self.

No. That can’t be. There was a lot of… personal and tender exchanges the two had for it to be just seen as something light. It’s unlikely.

He breathed out the air he had trapped in, unaware that he popped the ball he held in his hands.

“Man! Now we had to get a new one!” He heard Angel dust groaned out annoyed.

But he didn’t care. He needed to talk to Adam. They’ve ignored this for too long.

[ignylinn]

Here is the most stupid thing that ever happened to me in video games.

So, I love Darkest Dungeon. Played the first game, and in February started Darkest Dungeon 2. I prefer to go blind and not read anything on mechanics, and that's what I did.

Defeated the first Confession, went to the second, died.

Went to the second, died.

Went to the first, got memories, went to the second, died.

Repeat about x6 more times in various combinations.

So, I start to get anxious. Am I that bad? Do I miss something?

I google the strategy - I mean, the boss looks pretty straightforward, but maybe I am missing something. No, I'm not. I google best team comps - nothing wrong with my choices.

Still no luck.

I google lists of hardest bosses, might it be that this is one of the hardest? No, mr flying lungs is not even on the list, unlike all the bosses I now defeat on the way easy peasy.

It was just bad luck. It seemed like I angered some gaming gods and they punished me with this hell. Just a series of purely, unbelievably bad, statistically impossible dice rolls.

So, I tried and tried and tried.

In the end, it took me about 60 fucking hours to defeat one of the easiest bosses in the game. It is more than an average whole playthrough. I never felt more stupid in my life.

After that, I played just enough to see the third confession once, and stopped, cause I just could not.

Anyway, the punchline - after some rest I decided to finally play Dark Souls. I was, like, scared of all this hardcoreness discourse surrounding the game.

But after that DD2 shitshow it feels like I'm on vacation.

I mean, it is not easy by any means, far from it. But... the progress is not fast, but always tangible. The game is not too punishing. It feels like a meditation. You turn it on, soon you catch the vibe and go with the flow. Fuck, I love this.

[firbold]

Alright I HAVE to gush about Dragone Age Absolution mostly cuz I’m a starved DA fan first and a person second. Spoilers, and long post below

I LOVED Rezaren. He’s an excellent villain, but I hardcore disagree with the takes that he’s just as traumatized as Miriam and Neb and that he’s coming from a place of twisted love- He’s a born and bred Tevinter Magister. There is not a single second where he does not place his needs absolutely first or hesitate to do something that crosses a line or endangers others. From the START he believes he knows best (turning Memory, an ancient spirit who had so much knowledge to give to Enmity when it would not obey) or that his wishes are what everyone else should want (ignoring Tassia’s requests to make the palace safer to play with the circulum, everything with Miriam). And why should Rezaren EVER question himself? From birth he was given PEOPLE as personal playthings, tools, extensions of himself (his right and left hand). His failed harrowing, a DEATH SENTENCE in every other circle, is a consequence for someone ELSE to bear (and suffer for). He’s an Ammosine, and no Ammosine has ever failed their harrowing. There is no point in the show where Rezaren shows a hint of hesitation or remorse. This is WHILE he is considering himself kind and so far removed from his cold blooded and cruel magister kin. He breaks every rule with blood magic and magister law and if he had succeeded I truly do not think he would have faced a single consequence. What an amazing way to showcase the deep set corruption of the Imperium without having a stereotypically evil character.

Tassia and Sapphira are different sides of the same coin to me. It’s an excellent example of how difficult, if not impossible it is to separate the biases and culture you grew up in from yourself. Tassia defends the citizens at the palace at every turn- even defying Rezaren at one point to do so*. She agrees with Hira when it comes to rooting out the Venatori, an easy example of Tevinter corruption. But it means absolutely FUCK ALL because she’s so indoctrinated into the Imperium culture that she would never make an actual difference. *Part of the reason the common people at the palace are in danger is because she never, ever corrects Rezaren or contradicts his will in any real way. She lets him into the vault without changing the safety measures (EVEN AFTER SUMMONING A WHOLE DEMON) because he’s a magister and she’s there to hold the status quo. She never blinks an eye at the slaves around her, even going to far as to consider Neb (who she can’t possibly know the truth about) someone who would care deeply about Rezaren’s welfare, knowing he is a whole ass slave bound to his service from childhood. She willingly turns a blind eye to Rezaren’s corruption and ambition, vaguely threatening to turn him into the Divine but I truly believe she never EVER would. Innocent people died all around Rezaren and Tassia willingly let it happen every step of the way, while considering herself anti-corruption and a bastion of what Tevinter could be.

Sapphira is the EXACT SAME! Spoilers for the twist but despite joining the inquisition we see that she could never detach herself from the Imperium even if she’s wanting for it’s destruction and not caring what that means for the elves that live there, free or enslaved. She paints the Inqusition as uncaring to the Tevinter plight but the key is that she, unlike the advisors of the Inquisition (shout out to my wife Leliana) doesn’t care about the collateral, be it innocent citizens or her lover, Miriam. There’s so much I could write about the dynamics between Miriam and Hira but it really does boil down to this: Hira is/was an affluent mage from a well respected family in a place where mages rule above all. I have no doubt her family had slaves as well, and that she likely didn’t think twice about them and still doesnt. I can’t speak to Hira’s true feelings for Miriam; the show makes it seem like she does care for her at the end, with her inability to kill Miri. But there is no love where, to get what you want, you’d SELL YOUR ESCAPED SLAVE GIRLFRIEND back to her master. “You would’ve escaped again!” my ass. She would’ve been as complicit to Rezaren as Tassia was while convincing herself the ends justified the means. Hira is just as much the villain as Rezaren is. They both use Miriam for personal gain, like she’s a “thing”, a piece in their chess game, while they’re convinced that they’re in the right and better than their peers. It’s almost a shame her family was wiped out, because she probably would’ve made a very effective magister. (And don’t get me started on “we were trying to change things for the people around us!” Her family was for sure, but in the flashback we see she was just a child when it happened. Her family may have been trying to enact change, but Hira had a chance to make a difference with Miriam and instead used her for personal gain, just like the people who killed her family).

[siriannatan]

First One Out (again) - ScfWhimmy

So latest Limited Life Friday and I decided to make a little sort of comfort thing.

Contains Spoilers if you have not watched Limited Life 7 yet.

Scott needed to find Jimmy. So after a slightly rude goodbye, Scott rushed away back to the between server area for the Empires crew as soon as he could after the session ended. He didn't even really care how much time those last kills left him with. He needed to drown Jimmy in affection.

"Jimmy? Love?" he called, barely past the door. He quickly spotted Jimmy's leather jacket carelessly dropped on the floor halfway to the bedroom. It was a bit hard for Jimmy to put it on on his own with the wings in the way, same with taking it off but it didn't look like it ripped. Unlike the first three jackets, he got for the Bad Boys bit. With a sigh, Scott tossed it to the couch and went to check the bedroom.

There he found a messy file of golden wings and several blankets, shaking and mumbling. Scott bit back any words he had and carefully sat next to the pile that was Jimmy's attempt at hiding and with a shaking hand started to pet his wings.

"How was the rest..." Jimmy asked before Scott could decide what to say. He was never good at comforting.

"Well, Skizz side and I killed Joel at the very end of it, I'm not even sure how much time I have left, I just ran here once we were done, barely said any goodbyes," Scott said not stopping petting Jimmy's wings even for a second. "fWhip's still in his Hardcore world?" maybe he could distract Jimmy by talking about fWhip?

"I guess so, he wasn't home when I came back and he's not on Empires, I checked," Jimmy sniffed as he sat up. "Can we call fWhip and ask if he could maybe come back sooner?" he asked as all the blankets fell down around him.

"Of course," Scott smiled, glad Jimmy wasn't feeling too down and messaged fWhip. He didn't even wait for an answer before rearranging the whole 'nest' their bed seemed to always turn into and pulled Jimmy into cuddles. Who cared if they still needed a shower after several hours of death game. Jimmy needed and wanted cuddles and Scott was not about to say no to him.

And that's how, not even twenty minutes later, fWhip found them. Dirty and bloody, cuddled among a pile of pillows and blankets. "Not even a quick shower before jumping into the bed?" he asked but wasted no time joining them. His dragon instincts were happy to see his mates in their nest but at the same worried about their state. He had to check if they were okay first.

"I died first again," Jimmy whined and fWhip wasted no time on taking off his dusty and muddy hoodie. His mining dust was nothing on Jimmy and Scott's death game grime. "I feel like I totally wasted your time with that jacket..."

"No you did not, it looks damn cute on you," fWhip protested as some part of his dragon brain decided it was the right time to purr.

"Everyone thought it was Tango's," Scott sighed as he grabbed for his communicator.

Jimmy abruptly sat back at the news. "One, all of Tango's leather things are red, two no one, and I mean no one not even Impulse and Zedaph can touch those. And three, it's all because all fWhip wears are his 'work' hoodies' and count fWhip's coat..."

"I have other things. After Live made me go through my whole wardrobe," fWhip scoffed from the doorway. His teal 'work' hoodie was covered in all kinds of mine dust and cut in a few places but still looked more put together than Jimmy and Scott put together. "And why haven't you two showered?"

"I died first again," Jimmy pouted, knowing full well what would get fWhip's dragon side more concerned about him and Scott than shower and clean sheets.

"And I killed Joel for chasing me multiple times," Scott added with an innocent smile, joining in on Jimmy's plan.

And it worked very well. With a sigh, fWhip joined them in the bed. And after a lot of rearranging so both Jimmy and fWhip's nesting needs were satisfied. But that was a complete norm for them so Scott did not complain as he was moved from place to place for about five minutes and then suffocated with scales and feathers. Best way to relax after going on a rampage.

[su-scream]

Eichi little life summary!

So, you all know that Eichi was not a very healthy kid. Most of his youth is set in stone in the hospital.

His only entertainment is the TV, and all other stuff that can use to watch things that are outside of that dam hospital that he hate to stuck in.

(Circus event storyline)

He got amazed by idols and came the love and obsessed with it.

Eichi got a chance to witness Wataru's show ( even if it from a TV or something ) and yes, he became an Wataru hardcore fan.

There are lots of time Eichi mention that he get to witness or having an idea for the next festival/show from when he was in the hospital and watching other idol shows.

To Eichi, Wataru was shiny little star. Far away from him. Even if he's an rich as hell kid, even if he was somewhat a heir, he understand that he can't reach out and touch it. For that star was too far and gorgeous for a person like him to touch.

And this is a welcoming change! I mean, Eichi came from a rich household and was canonly acted like Tori when he was young. But when he gets to know about idols and gets to know Wataru from that square and flat TV screen, he realizes his limit.

When he wants to be as beautiful and shiny as Wataru, following his pure love for idols. He begged his parents to let him study at Yumenosaki school. And after all that effort? What did he get, a school that was full of terrible people and a broken system.

That is why he started the war, he made an effort to make the school a better place. He made 5 Eccentric, came up with Fine to defeat them, to brighten up the school.

Then, he died. Like a burning star that ran out of energy and was on the vein of death.

That why, the first time he got send back to the hospital, he said: "I don't want to die."

But at last, when the war ended, he wishes to die.

He had did such a brutal things, never did he wish for forgiveness. Eichi is...not an evil villain, he's a well-written character who understand the action he made.

Eichi was desperate to die not because he was so sick that he can't keep up with the idol work anymore. But because he was sunken down into the states of agony and pain. He's an animal, moaning for his own death to come.

To Eichi, he has finished his mission to made this school a better place. Now, for he had committed such faults. Brutally, hurting people, made them suffer. He thoughts, maybe even god wouldn't forgive him.

He should've been dead.

What did he do, why, he was doing this for the benefit of the school, yes. Because he love idols, he don't want to see them rotten away from the bright and shine a like that he always see on the TV.

He was planning his doom from the very beginning. That why he made a contract with Fine instead of a bonding friendship.

If he die, he want them to live freely. Don't moan for him, don't be sad when he die. He don't feel like he deserve it at all.

That is why, Tsumugi is called a "Bluebird" and when Fine is no more when Wataru visits Eichi, he calls Tsumugi: "The bird blue you set free."

The bird Eichi set free, wishing that it would never go back to him, the one who had hurt them once.

Back to Wataru.

Eichi always has eyes on him, but even if they are standing next to each other, having a normal conversation. He still has this uncomfortable feeling in his heart.

This can't be real. To Eichi, this talk, this meeting, he's smiling face with joy and grief was not for Eichi but for something else.

He just, can't put his head together to believe that the unreachable star is now right in-fort of his eyes.

There was too much on his mind that it crashed and went all empty at that moment.

Oh god! He just saw such a pathetic side of me.

Why is he here? How did he get in, this shine star that I can't never reach just land it down like this?

No, don't forget what you have done Eichi! Maybe, he was here for revenge, yes, that could only be the reason why! He wasn't here for me, he was here for all his precious friends...

Unlike me, who had broke their bond with the one that could have share joy and pain with me.

He push Wataru away with all his might, but at the end, Wataru won. Convince him to think otherwise, stop trying to made himself disappear.

Because, look! His lovely shiny idols that he always looks up to is here, ready to stay by his side. Why bother to run away now? There's a new chance, so why don't you trust me, the Amazing Wataru before giving up on yourself?

And, somehow Wataru was able to rub it off on him.

Saved him from finding his own way to doom. Pull him away from the road of suicide.

Wataru needs him. That the reason.

Wataru wants to be his next company, help Eichi to get through the hardships.

And that...save Eichi. He was no longer want death to come and pick him up. He want to stay.

Even if, he have to one again be the villain of the story. Wataru was there for him, why bother giving up now? He realizes, he still got lots of things he wants to do and lots of time to speed with Wataru.

He was saved...and from that moment on, he decided to live a life.

[kakujis]

that's a nice format, it'll be easier for me to reply too since i won't get things mix up lol.

touchstarved -

if i remember correctly, mhin is summed up as the cursed outsider for their official title so kuras had pulled off an amazing feat to get mhin on his side.

i think that's unlikely regarding the angel theory because it wouldn't explain why no one want to talk about the senobium but anything can happen in a game lol. damn, the demo was a good strategy for them. that's true, even the studio was shocked how the game was completely funded in 4 hours.

well, the studio could have compromised with a different/horror sprite of him but only leander got that special treatment lmao. it could be vice versa, that's the mc leaves mhin instead after they reveal an emotional side like that would still be traumatic, imagine distrusting everyone for your whole life and as soon as they open up to someone, that person is like i don't want your emotional baggage, goodbye.

i agreed, mhin doesn't seem to enjoy violence so they would likely only use it as a last resort. those type of yandere like leander are the most deadliest and when they snap, they are terrifying as hell. but leander would only likely have a breakdown ep if the reader try to break up with him etc because leander know what's he doing lol.

reading your ais's blushing confession just reminded me of a certain line from that falling in love song in (disney) hercules lmao, i think it's something like, girl you got it bad, you're in love. that's true and i highly doubt ais would snap and if he does, i highly doubt he would be as bad as leander.

what did you think of the tr manga? i did and i was like why at the ending. who's your favourite character? mhin must be a favourite character among the studio lol. don't most ppl buy wigs for cosplay? that must have been a dream come true for you! er, i feel like the studio know that ais will be a game changer for them hence why they put a special focus on him.

it sound like sen was on the deathbed but someone turned her into a vampire (?) because her predicament fit the supernatural being. well, we will definitely get more kickstarters update and they will probably release the game opening in 2024.

i don't think leander have that within him lol. but i feel like he may be selective about what information he share with the mc and run circles around her.

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damn, you must have been a hardcore fan lol. i did a kpop matchup blog for a short time. surely, your exo blog must be a side blog (?) tbh, the last time i dived into exo was the 2010s so i can't remember LMAO. why did you like that trio?

i only recognise some of these groups but i remember that the fans dislike sm a lot for ghosting f(x) throughout their whole career. i can't remember seventeen debut, was it adore you? but i've heard that the studio needed to get rid of one member because he was way too young so that one might had gotten forced out. isn't it bts 10th anniversay this year?

i needed to look up onewe and it's the first time i've seen a rock band. to be fair, kpop merch is pretty pricey and it does become a pain to storage. that would be one emotional event then lol. sunmi ring a bell but i forgot everything about her.

i guess that was a major hole in tr where the author never went back to show how past takemichi was behaving/actually like once present takemichi changed the future timelines. it would added more lore to the story and explain how certain timelines came to be.

i agreed with that but since her story was link more towards draken rather than mikey, it seem like she got the same treatment as him because i always found it's weird how draken literally got pushed to aside within almost every future timeline. it's like the author was draken who?

it's like draken got the shit end of everything LMAO and i'm sure baji wouldn't had gotten that treatment if he didn't died. i think the biggest disappointment of the female characters that they were only linked to one arc due to a male character connection so they all got discarded when it was over.

i'm sure yuzuha would gladly return your love and affection! but even then, it's like senji just got a magical powerup, it wasn't realistic compare to the way that yuzuha fought.

really? but i've heard a lot of female readers complains about how the author treat the female characters regarding everything and i know a lot of them dislikes how he dealt with midnight.

did you ever find out the ending for the witch house then? wasn't it gary and mc vs mary in ib? it's been a long time lol, the nintendo switch release added more story. i would recommend watching castlevania on netflix then.

tbh, tv shows are long man like who have the time to sit down for 45 minutes for one episode. i dk how ppl watch kdrama and stuffs like that when each episode is like a movie. do you mean the villain uohana ? soz, i know nothing about leach.

yes, i did and i really like seeing him because the diversity of his design. i'm assuming he must be your profile photo too? honestly, baji's popularity is something considering he died so early on in the manga/show, imagine if he live towards the very end! but did you find it strange when baji stabbed himself to save kazutora's ass. i remember watching it going like baji what are you doing?

will you be whipping up any fic starring izana then? sorry but i don't fangirl like this so i apologise if my reactions/replies are a bit dead LMAO. i think there was a lot of clues/hints in tr but die down once izana's arc was over.

well, i feel like a lot of characters from tr like pah got brushed aside since the fandom didn't find them good looking esp in the bonten's gang, like look at the fanart/fics. what did you think of them? i was so disappointed that they appear for only like one panel?

like what was that LMAO. i still can't believe that the author bothered revamping the whole gang too just for one appearance but some fans think the author got forced by the publisher/editor to change the direction of his story.

it's true that tora redeemed himself but chifuyu definitely played a huge role in that and he is super forgiving considering kazutora did that to baji. kazutora's relationship with baji was yandere like but chifuyu was just baji's biggest fan lmao. do you agree? i think taiju's one should get special focus because he did reformed mostly by himself but the inspiration came from takemichi.

why? does it end on a cliff hanger? i like nagia because he reminds me of a irl friend, they are both wholesome characters and kunigami is a very nice guy. er, if you don't like reading, the game is not for you but the best part are the trials, the sequel is the best one, the ending of dr3 ruin everything.

do you think the final arc will run into 2024? because that would be really nice since it's the 20th anniversary next year. well, the silver lining is that you don't need to worry about spoilers lol. there must be a lot going on in that poster then.

no but i've heard of it via youtube. but don't stardew and animal crossing the same like playing it is meant to be relaxing and calming for the gamer? do you know about tsuki? Who did you choose as your starter pokemon? to be fair, there's a lot of missed references in that film if you haven't played most of the mario games.

i think that i'm starting to get your ideal type based on your favourite characters lol. it's nice that they ring you on your birthday too. what was that event about? mammon is super popular in the fandom but for yan stuffs, it seem to be lucifer or satan. that's the power of facebook for you!

no, i just played the voltage games. damn, those games just give away the genre by just reading their titles lmao. i dk who they are, sorry! when is it coming out? me too, that's one of the reason why i like izana in tr but i feel the pain when fans whitewash him -_-

life stuffs:

it is a bit tricky to navigate life while being sensitive but i used to be like that so i know your efforts will eventually make a breakthrough, just don't give up.

i have conflicted emotions towards MM because i was there from day one with that studio where i played their games beforehand that were 100x times better and i got annoyed that the studio basically just gave up creating other games and just kept adding onto MM because of their success.

have you play their two other games? dandelion wishes brought to you was their debut and the second game is link to the first one. no worries but i hope you have windows otherwise you can't play cinderella ;-;

hang in there! will you get a reading week soon? (uni's terminology is pretty different where i live so soz for any confusion) that's so nice so it's like your writing bring a reader onto cloud nine. you must really like writing fanfics then because i'm always like er towards writing it.

that's understandable, everyone works at their own pace and it's better to put the best quality out there if the author is super concerns about getting notes etc. do you tend just to write oneshots?

you can reply to the comments on ao3 too which is pretty sweet! but the best feeling in the world is getting a user subscription. let me know when your ao3 profile is ready so i can support it. thanks, i will read it when i can.

i've been to one but it mainly just stalls so it's not very time-consuming but i think most ppl just goes for the cosplaying event. you should do it! the merchandise tends to be outsourced from japan so you can't get it anywhere on the internet or anime stores.

tbh, driving does seem daunting but it is a lot quicker than public transport and congrats! i think the the nerves will fade away the more that you drive. i tried learning twice but second time was when the virus came out so that went down the drain.

it actually is but if the photo/image is blurry, the app ask you to renew it but i just went ok with some of mine and they still look fine but again it was anime/manga.

yikes, that sound like a nightmare and i hope it doesn't take too long for your tastebuds to come back. sometimes, it'll be like that but considering it's all of them, the dentist really should have given you a warning beforehand.

touchstarved:

heyoo, did u see the new stretch goals?! i want the plushie and love letters goal so bad agghh. personally, i can def see mhin leaving leaving mc but not vice versa? but ig we'd have to get there first! i think the thing about the senobium is that they're kind of like the top authority there, probably house a ton of different types of entities. idt it completely disregards my theory, just that it may not be the whole reasoning!

i was looking at the character sheets again and was thinking about the shadows behind them and how it seems to be an indication into their "dark" side or personalities, buut i do wonder if some of them are their "true" forms like kuras and vere. it is funny to see leander with nothing really changed LOL. also yeah! i like the idea of leander snapping though, i know he hates being ignored... i wanna be able to ignore him in game hehe.

ahh i love that soong! THATS ME LOL i'm soo down bad for him!! i loves him <333. he's soo handsome and mysterious and the penchant for violence really gets my gears goin! i agree! i think ais snapping is less desperate and more calculated, like okay, you wanna play around with me, i'll show you what happens then. type of thing!

yes they do! i think it'd be fun to style a wig or just to see what it looks like! i think so too! i also think he's the best poster boy for the game itself. i think leander would be a great candidate for the main focus as well tho! that's interesting! i really think he does have it in him, but it may be my bias for violence showing lool. i def do think he is a bit gaslighty and manipulative as well!

i wanna know what they mean by warden! warden for what? the senobium? elyon? someone else powerful? i can't wait for sen's story!! and yeah i think they have to throw us some crumbs to keep us excited!

other media:

LMAO nahh it's not a sideblog, i just convert this one into something new when i get hyperfixated on something. i have a couple of sideblogs, but i haven't touched them in a while cus i genuinely forget about them. and really? that's so interesting! i've never heard of a kpop matchup blog! what type of matchups did you do? i'm actually in the process of deleting a ton of my old posts, especially ones with more personal info that i used to do on here lool. i'm not entirely sure why i chose that trio LOL, i think i really liked lay's personality and chanyeol + sehun's looks. but yesyes i was a major hardcore fan of them!

yes! i was one of those f(x) fans. sulli was and honestly, still is, my ultimate bias even though she's passed now. so i hated the treatment of her the most and sung her praises whenever i could! i'm hoping one day they'll reprint her "love myself" photobook, cus i've only seen it being resold one single time and it went for 800 dollars. and yes adore you was the debut! omg yes it is! i can't believe it's been 10 years daaang. they've come so far. <3

sunmi was in wonder girls if you know them! they've all gone their separate ways but sunmi still has a really active solo career, you should give her stuff a listen! and yeah! onewe, day6, and the rose are all really similar bands that i like!

my favorite tr character is baji/kakucho!! i can't choose between the two of them LOL. i wanna change my url sometime to something that's a mix of the two but for now this'll do! i liked the ending but i'm a sap for happy endings and the fact that baji lives i cried LMAOO, BUT i will say there's a lot of holes in it that i hope get cleared up when we get the exhibit in november. wbu? who do you like (:

from what i remember, it's because draken always ended up in a situation where he couldn't be as involved (jail) or he wasn't a delinquent anymore (bonten timeline). i think wakui did that to push the takemichi + mikey relationship to further the whole "takemichi would never give up on mikey" thing. i've been reading the spin-off and the power level of baji is so funny to me, like yall really had to get him to kill himself cus no one else could jknsdkanfsknfsdk. OKAY THEN LOL. i know the reasonings behind it, it's just funny! honestly, i wasn't surprised to see baji's popularity! he's such a well written character imo and he's so dreamy!! i guess in his mind it was the only way to get kazutora and mikey to snap out of it?? LOL.

nah no worries!! i just fangirl really hard heheh, yes i do have some izana stuff in my wips! i'm excited to finish them and post it! i agree like pah and peh were kinda shoved to the side, i feel like we barely know anything about nahoya and souya :p. i loveee bonten, i wish we could get a spin off based off of them! tbf, mochi doesn't get like any love i've noticed and i think its because we barely know anything about him also ksjffjdn. i feel like wakui threw a ton of characters at us and didnt give us adequate screentime with them. i think he was rushed as well, i read an interview on twitter and he said he barely had any time with his family, maybe one day out of the week. so i definitely think he was rushed!

oh absolutely! chifuyu is an angel and a saint <3. hmm, i think kazutora's relationship was more like 'we're partners in crime, you can't escape me' maybe not so much yandere. but absolutely, chifuyu is baji's #1 fan LOL. personally tho, i like the friendship between takemichi and chifuyu more!

as for the girls, yeah.. i think only emma and hina really showed up again in unfortunately. oh i agree that yuzuha can't really fight on senju's level, but i think it's just missed opportunity by wakui to not make her stronger. also senju trained under wakasa and benkei if i remember correctly, that's why she's strong like that!

oh i'm so mad about midnight LMFAO, so i totes get that. i think that the women in bnha could be fleshed out way better. i think uraraka especially could do with more screentime.

yes it was gary and mc vs mary in ib! i loved mary though, i felt so bad for her ): and nahh i've got no clue on the ending for the witch house LOL. yes stardew and animal crossing are both super chill games! tbh i forget about animal crossing a lot especially cus i hate time coded games. i'm not sure what tsuki is! for my starter i chose fuecoco, such a silly lil pokemon!

ahh no unohana is a bleach captain! it's alright, bleach is a longg story and kinda convoluted at times. also same LOL, i can barely get myself to watch anime eps lool. i used to watch kdramas but i'd pause frequently to do other things cus i'd get antsy. my favorite dramas were reply 1994 and scarlet heart ryeo: moon lovers, ahhh

ah for blue lock, something happens that i just really really dislike, but i think it's integral to the story! i'm gonna try and pick up the manga sometime soon. ahh nagi seems to be a fan favorite! he's my brother's favorite too ^^. which final arc are you talking about? bleach? if so, i think the second half is coming in july. i'm not sure how long this arc will take since it's super duper long + kubo gave us a snippet of a possible new arc!

LOL really? i've never been able to find a good correlation between my faves honestly :p. yeye, but i tihnk all the boys are great yan candidates! personally, i think i can see it the most with levi out of all of them. i think nightbringer is coming out soon, maybe even this month?

omg i had no clue about MM! i played it a ton when it first came out, i liked yoosung a ton! but that's so sad :/, i think thats the same thing that happened w solmare and obey me! they stopped working on other games because the obey me! success was huge. i have not played the other games!

life stuffs:

thank you! it's deffo a growing process :). it takes me a lot of reflection and positive/realistic talk with myself to get over things, but it's much better than me seeking out validation from others! i do have a spring break soon actually! one more week and i have a whole week off!

yeah! i actually thrive off nice comments like that on my fics, but i've been trying to let it not get me down if i don't get many reblogs or likes hehe. i like writing fanfic! if not i just sit with my daydreams all day which is very very unproductive! do you not like writing it? O:

yes i usually write oneshots! i think this yan kakucho thing is only a mini series cus i love the idea of bonten!yan!kakucho LOL. or short little blurbs that get mushed together with other characters! also omg of course i'll let you know!! tysm TuT <3!

also ahhh i see i see. damn i wanna go now!! i actually wanna see if anyone's gonna be outsourcing the new tokrev perfumes, i reaally want the ran one LMAO. im gonna try to see if i can, i usually love going to flea markets and buying from local vendors! and aaah, i see are you gonna try to drive again? thank you btw! i still can't believe i can even drive LOL, i used to break out in hives from the stress :p.

but yes so, i'll be at the dentist next month to ask what my options are! eughhdsfnksdf, i'm feelin' like it would be prime time to get braces too so we'll see~

[eccentrickleptomaniac]

pls if you have the time, can you share your Germany headcanons?

Germany himself isn't really Germany- he's a partial-mergecon fusion of East and West Germany. "Essen what does that mean" basically their consciousnesses aren't exactly fused completely but they can't exactly unfuse either lol. The fusion lore is something for another day.

To like, everyone, he's known as a very professional person. He almost never drops the front, acting briefly and quickly with everyone from acquaintances to family. Ironically, none of his direct family is currently alive. While yes, he is, well, friendly, it's all very tolling and when he does finally let his guard down it's almost always because he's experiencing burnout, in which he won't leave his house for days at a time. Still, it doesn't deter him from being the hardest worker in the EU.

While his technical father is.. uh.. yknow who, he doesn't really consider him his parent. Due to the odd circumstances of his creation, (long story short he, along with his father, are parasites. they killed their hosts upon exiting their bodies. tr's was weimar, eg and wgs was allied occupied germany. yes i believe they're just twins and were not born as one. "essen how is tr their father if he died before they were-" tarantula hawk wasp situation.) he never actually met his father. Because of this, all people he considers parents were adopted. Those being, from EG's side, Poland and maybe the USSR, while on WG's side it was France and the UK. Nowadays, due to him being an adult at this point, he considers them more friends as opposed to adoptive parents.

I consider the Cold War more of a time where EG and WG were growing up as opposed to being full-grown adults. The two had basically no idea what was going on because of it, and were mostly just fed information by their parents that they, well, believed. I believe that until WG's attempts at repairing their relations, both sides of the wall had a mutual intense hatred for the other. There was also nothing stopping them from actually talking at any point: no physical barrier put in or any strict rules from the parents. Sure, literally neither side liked them talking to eachother: in the beginning France and especially the UK hated the idea of them fusing and the USSR, well, uh, was the USSR. But neither side was actually stopping them from talking to eachother.

I'll talk about them seperately now, starting with EG because I like her more.

EG was very, very quiet growing up. She was known among the Warsaw Pact for her ability to observe and find small details, as well as her bluntness. She would not speak up during dinner arguments unless she had something important to say. Along with this, she was a very dedicated person. Once she had her mind on something, it was very hard to get her to stop. She especially loved machinery and computers. It wasn't uncommon to see her desk cluttered with random metal parts from a contraption she'd been building earlier. She was also very athletic, but that goes for like, the entire German bloodline. However, unlike most of her ancestors, she was also a very nonviolent person. Like, extremely nonviolent. Like, if she was being physically assaulted she would not fight back nonviolent. It's led to.. a lot of things, probably the most prominent being her half blinded eye caused by shrapnel during the East Berlin riots of '53. Albiet, that wasn't really any countries fault.. A better example would be the scar right above that eye. Yeah, that one was caused by her (adopted) father. Hooray for horrible parenting! Also random trivia I suppose; She and her brother are musicians. She does work primarily that of with synthesizers and electronic instruments. Think stuff of Machine Girl's soundtrack for Neon White. She's a fan of hardcore genres. If she was still around on her own when Prodigy became popular she would've loved that shit.

WG was much more outgoing than his sister and was always pretty much always the one initiating the conversations. It wasn't that EG didn't like talking to him, it was more she just feared he didn't like her. Which wasn't the case, usually, I think. Anyways, while being more outgoing than EG, he was also very much more opinionated on things. It was very hard to get him to change his opinion on someone if he didn't want to. He was also the only one of the two who got wing privileges and it made him into a cocky bastard. Out of everything WG liked to (LIGHTHEARTEDLY) tease EG for her not being able to fly was probably the biggest subject of his poking. It also made him into an overconfident bastard who faceplanted a few too many times into the pavement for him to be all alright. While his homelife was better than EG's, it still wasn't.. great. His adopted parents often threw jabs at him about his heritage. Like out of all the audios I've heard that I've been like, "Wow, this is so West Germany!", the biggest was literally the "What would Leonard Bernstein do?" bit from a John Mulaney special. Like, yeah thats just him with his parents. Anyways, he, like his sister, is also a musician! Albiet of a very different genre than her, he does stuff more akin to "real-world rock" as he calls it, he plays bass guitar pretty damn well and is pretty decent at drumming.

Ironically, the two had a lot of mutual friends growing up. Specifically Yugoslavia's kids. He was a very lax father figure, obviously he cared about his children but due to his absolute neutrality he almost never reprimanded his kids for any interactions with any country ever. Croatia and Slovenia specifically were friends with both of them. They're still friends today, actually. The two are pretty much some of the only people he lets his guard down around due to them being friends basically since birth.

Some misc stuff: Germany the Fusion™️ is actually Aroace. EG was a lesbian and WG was gay and due to the fact that they're pretty much constantly co-conscious now that the two have been fused they'd feel really weird actually dating someone. Now that he's fused he still does music, I believe mostly industrial synthpop but he likes to experiment with other genres too. On bad days he goes home and makes harsh noise. And I mean harsh. #Coping! He's pretty good friends with Japan and Italy. I like to think they call their groupchat "The Vertex Powers" as a direct jab at their parents. Speaking of.... all three are actually musicians. They work together sometimes. With Italy he tends to make more Aphex Twin/Mayhem + Darius type stuff while with Japan he makes stuff that sounds like Renard. If ur wondering what Japan and Italy make together, it's probably something that sounds like Darius + Rotteen or Infected Mushroom. So psytrance!

I hope this suffices, sorry for the wait!

edit 08/08/23: his """"government assigned"""" username is drawnExperimentation. eg's was dresdenDeceptacon.

[lavenderfeminist]

Okay but How did you get a male role in this? Like did you openly ask for it, is your voice low enough or you look masculine enough or did they just Not get enough male actors? I'm asking because I want a male part too but never ever got picked for it??

First thing's first, they were open from the beginning that they'd consider doing non-traditional casting if someone was compelling enough, so if you're at a school that's more strict/conservatory especially and one that is highly competitive, imo you're extremely unlikely to be cast as a "male" role UNLESS it's a typical pants role, like Cherubino in Le Nozze di Figaro. If they're going for hardcore authenticity, they're never going to cast someone with a voice like mine. The role I was cast in was written for a tenor and my arias and duets are well within soprano range when transposed up an octave (~D3-A4 -> ~D4-A5), so the score doesn't require any modifications which is a huge advantage. On my audition form I indicated I'd be open to performing "male" roles, but I didn't expect I'd get any of them and I auditioned with a typical soprano excerpt. Weirdly, I think what may have done the trick was a one-off comment I made in a conversation with another singer and my voice teacher where, when the other singer said she wished she was a soprano, I said I wished I was a mezzo so I'd have a shot at playing pants roles. My voice is certifiably not low enough to sing tenor, I do not have a particularly masculine appearance (although I don't wear makeup so maybe that helped? lol), and we definitely have tenors, but, not to toot my own horn, I'm confident I'll be able to sing this role better than any of them could ;)

[finalgirlminamurray]

the other book i read this past week was tender is the flesh, which. yeah that's a book that'll make you stare at the wall for a while after finishing it.

it's interesting to me how many people have this really visceral reaction to just the idea of cannibalism. i know fear and disgust are subjective but as someone who's always had a pretty neutral reaction to the concept i think a lot about what it is about this particular thing that is such a boundary-crossing taboo for so many. i know it's not normalized in most societies but why is it so much more off-putting to some people than other grotesque or disturbing things?

unlike with bones and all i don't know if the author of this book is a vegetarian or vegan but i think part of the point of it is to present exactly what is done to animals raised for food being done to humans and let the reader sit with how that makes them feel. i've always been pretty empathetic towards animals and i went through a hardcore animal rights phase when i was young - younger than you'd think, like 11-13. i first had regular access to the internet around that age too, so it was easy to find things. spent a lot of time on the peta website that i regret now but i was a kid. what kind of effect did that have on me? who's to say.

i've also never been one to eat a lot of meat. in fact the only meat i can eat is chicken - autistic food sensitivity issues prevent me from even being willing to taste pretty much anything else. i'm not vegan but i'm like...whatever the equivalent of a pescetarian is for chicken instead of fish. this is probably not that much healthier, but it's what works for me if i have to eat protein. maybe this is why cannibalism is not as horrifying to me as it is for others; i don't have a strong relationship with meat as part of my diet.

while we see the human livestock (the "head", as everyone who works with them calls it) being slaughtered and processed for their flesh, we never see any of the facilities where they are raised; even then there is a disconnect between the main character and this part of his work. are they raised in factory farm-like conditions? what are their lives like before they are killed? i think there is a misconception sometimes that people are only vegan because they can't stand the thought of animals being killed, and they don't understand that you don't kill cows to get milk or chickens to get eggs or sheep to get wool. i know some people are vegan because they believe humans should not use animals for their bodies in any way, even if done so "humanely", but i think for a lot of people the real problem is not that animals died for their food but that the majority of animal products come from factory farms, and it's easier to simply not eat any of them than to make sure you only buy meat and eggs and dairy from sustainable local family-owned farms. (not to say that veganism is accessible or affordable for everybody. just that it's the simpler option for many if you don't want to contribute to the ethical and environmental costs of industrial animal agriculture.)

i really don't want to start a "debate" about veganism but this is the kind of thing the book is designed to make you think about. i think the novel is definitely saying something in proposing a world where, when all non-human animals have died out, society chooses to raise humans for meat rather than adapt to a world where no one eats meat. it's implied that even in this world people who choose to become vegetarian are looked down upon. no one wants to significantly change the way they live their life when a massive change to society happens. on the other hand there are the rumors that the plague that supposedly made all animal flesh dangerous to humans was invented by the government as a way to solve overpopulation and food scarcity crises. note that the animals did not die off themselves, but were all killed by humans en masse when the plague began. (i imagine narratives about global disease outbreaks being a government invention became less popular after 2020 - this was written and published before then. within the context of the story - you have to believe the disease is real despite any logistical improbabilities [how is it that EVERY species of animal was infected except for humans? etc.] because the alternative is that all this was for nothing.)

to compare a human to an animal is to demean them; to compare an animal to a human is to uplift them, to say look, we are not so different. to increase human empathy for the animal, perhaps. the "head" in this world are biologically human, indistinguishable from other humans except for the genetic modifications some of them are given. the "pure" stock, the most valuable kind, though, are given nothing but extra feed. they are raised like animals and so they act like animals. their vocal chords are removed because if they had them, they would almost certainly learn to talk eventually and you can't have talking livestock if you're going to eat it. when marcos takes "the female" home and starts treating her kindly and inviting her into the house, it feels less like he's finally treating her like a person and more like he has adopted a farm animal as a pet. functionally she is a developmentally disabled adult, with all the othering treatment that goes along with that and the added barrier of marcos already being primed not to see her as human. is it possible for her to consent to sex with a "normal" human? if it is wrong for marcos to initiate it with her, why is that?

having a baby with jasmine, as he eventually names her, is both a reminder of their fundamental sameness - they are both human, they are perfectly compatible, the baby will not be an interspecies hybrid - and of why she will never be an equal. cecilia coaches her through the birth and makes sure it goes smoothly and comforts her, but once the baby is born - jasmine's humanity is forgotten. she has served her purpose. and what do you do when an animal bred for a purpose fulfills it? well, you can keep it for as long as it can still be profitable - cecilia argues in favor of using jasmine to birth more children. or, if that would not be feasible or worth the money and resources, you kill it. get the last you can out of it once it's dead.

there are absolutely people in this world who take advantage of the new state of things to indulge their own sadism and marcos has clear disdain for them whenever he meets with them. that isn't necessarily the main focus of the book's horror, though. marcos is a highly complex, well, human. what would the average person do in his situation?

i'm sure everything i've said here has already been said about this book and i don't know exactly what i'm trying to do, making this post into an essay or what. but anyway this was a very good book.

[spider-xan]

I think a lot of people have forgotten how disgustingly misogynist the promo tour for TASM was in order to sell Gwen as the new love interest after MJ was the love interest in the Raimi films and MJ and the Peter/MJ ship in the comics was still very much beloved at the time, provably even more so in the wake of OMD breaking them up in the 616 comics, and Gwen's hardcore fans were mostly old men who were teenagers when she died in the comics and had imprinted on her as their best girl (TASM was the start of her newfound modern popularity and arguable oversaturation imo) - like, rather than promoting what made Gwen cool and exciting in her own right, so much of the official promo revolved around what a nasty slutty bitch MJ was, including outright lies Iike, 'MJ never loved Peter and only loved Spider-Man' so that they could say Gwen was superior bc she loved Peter, unlike MJ, and I think this is definitely related to how some of the writing around Gwen in those movies does feel like she was studio engineered to be what fanboys would like as their perfect girlfriend for nerds like themselves in comparison to Raimi!MJ especially, but that's a whole other discussion about how some of the writing is really sexist once you get past the 'Gwen is just as smart and strong as Peter!' thing and look more at how the narrative treats her when she disagrees with Peter (it's not good tbh), and it feels like a direct jab at how a lot of fanboys hated that Raimi!MJ wasn't the perfect compliant girlfriend who fawned over Peter all the time.

[therealvinelle]

In Norway, what books are classic? Could you recommend some books that you had to read because of school or books that was written by a Norwegian author and you enjoyed it?

Sure!

Hope you don't mind that I put the titles in the original Norwegian, it's because I didn't want to look up every single official translation.

Anything by Amalie Skram is great, she was a 19th century realist writer and a hardcore feminist. Many of her works are biographical. Specifically, I will recommend her Hellemyrsfolket series, Forraadt, Hieronymus, and Lucie.

Henrik Ibsen is famous, and it's for a reason. His plays are great and way ahead of their time, he's one of the great playwrights in history. Vildanden, Peer Gynt, and En folkefiende (which inspired Jaws! Same themes, only replace "sharks" with "bad drinking water") are my recs for him.

Ludvig Holberg, Denmark insists he's theirs but he was born in Norway so sucks to be them. Erasmus Montanus is my big rec for Holberg, as it's about Rasmus Berg (Berg means Hill), a village boy who returns from college and has now become An Educated Man, thereby changing his name to the more intellectual-sounding Erasmus Montanus. It's a comedy making relentless fun of the educated elite.

Alexander Kielland, another realist writer. The short story Karen is beautiful, and the novel Gift is a delightful critique of the late 19th century Norwegian school system. It's so bad that our main character dies from Latin studies.

Knut Hamsun won the Nobel prize in literature and proceeded to give it to Adolf Hitler as a gift, because he was a nazi. He welcomed the occupation, and was a terrible person in general. If you struggle to separate the art from the artist, don't read Hamsun. If you don't struggle, then the man is infuriatingly good at writing. His prose is just out of this world, and it makes me so mad. Start with Sult, and when you're done hallucinating you can thank me.

Sigrid Unset also won the Nobel prize in literature, and unlike Hamsun she was firmly opposed to the nazis. She won the prize for her Kristin Lavransdatter series, which is historical fiction about a woman living in medieval Norway. Big recommend.

Selma Lagerlöf, not Norwegian but damn good. Another Nobel laureate. I recommend Jerusalem.

H.C. Andersen in case you haven't read him, he's Danish but SO GOOD.

Dag Solstad, I never read him but I intend to, he seems like he'll be right up my alley.

Gerd Nyqvist, I've only read the one novel by her but I liked it very much, it was very Agatha Christie-esque. Avdøde ønsket ikke blomster.

Jostein Gaarder, he's... an interesting guy, and I'll put it this way, if he'd been an English-speaking author he would have been picked up by HBO or Netflix by now. Kabalmysteriet comes to mind.

[spacebatisluvd]

Entrapta x Horde Prime's personal attendants. She helps them unlearn their harmful beliefs and be themselves. Or... she tries to, but they mentally replace Horde Prime with her, so they can fill the void left after his death. So they worship her, follow her around, and do whatever she wants. This is not the outcome she was aiming for, but it is acceptable, since unlike Horde Prime, she will not hurt them or lie to them. Entrapta deserves all the technology and handsome boys she wants ;aslkdfjsd

Oof! Oh, man, Anon—this is not the kind of premise you want to share with me because this, for me, is a mix of hard angst snd nightmare fuel. Granted, I enjoy both of those things, and quite like stories where everyone is doing their best, but circumstances are just fucked. And this pretty much fits that to a T.

Especially since I really can’t imagine this working if Hordak is still around, so this seems like a deeply, deeply upsetting alternate ending where Hordak either died or just never came back to himself (maybe he is one of the attendants). And now Entrapta is either trying to fill the void he left behind or trying desperately to bring him back, only to be left in a situation where she has two people who have essentially swapped worship of Prime for worship of her and—

It’s not what she wants but…maybe it’s better than nothing. Maybe they are, ultimately, in a better situation. They seem happy. They’re healthy—she makes sure of that. But they’re not free. They’re not able or willing to take up the mantle of personhood. Prime has broken them so thoroughly that they can’t recover who they were of who they could be.

I could see her trying to live with this compromise with herself, and I can see it being mostly okay. On good days, she can focus on the little things that have improved. But I can also see her breaking down because she lost the one person who seemed to understand her (whether his body is with her or not), and I can see her being overwhelmed by the weight of what was done to the clones. She knows what they’re capable of. She knows they’re whole people. And she knows that was stolen from them, and try as she might, she can’t return that to them.

And, worse, whenever she’s upset, they get upset because they love her like they loved Prime. Furthermore, she can never just be human with them. She can never relax or just be herself because she doesn’t want to risk hurting them further or taking more from them than Prime’s already stolen.

So, yeah. Hardcore nightmare fuel and angst! Fun story, though. Really disturbing and upsetting.

[acerace]

...you have opened my eyes to a vast universe of VintageBeef lore that I was unaware of. I knew about the New Hermit Order, of course, and the UHC invention, and I've watched a few of his CTM things but -- I will take all the info and lore you feel like giving out because Beef is amazing and my knowledge is so small.

Vintagebeef my beloved <3

So the thing is, right, until about 2016 I only watched two (2) youtubers- Vintagebeef for Minecraft and aDrive for Pokemon (and funnily enough both of them are named Dan irl). So I've watched most of Beef's videos over the years and have a general knowledge of most of his stuff, except because it's been like a decade I don't remember where most of the lore comes from XD

The thing with him is that he doesn't do Lore tm the way other mcyters often do lore- he doesn't have an extensive RP series to draw from like Grian, doesn't have a solo world with steadily increasing amounts of lore like Etho or Zisteau, and while he's played on SMPs and been involved in storylines before it's not really the focus of his episodes unlike with Evo or Legacy or Empires

So where does that leave us?

IRL, Beef always has multiple series running at the same time. Often he's playing on an smp while doing a singleplayer, often modded, series as well as a CTM or modpack with a group of friends. For example, right now he's playing on Hermitcraft, doing weekly Pixelmon and Building a Zoo episodes, and a CTM map with Slip. And to me, this translates to one thing: Beef is an adventurer. He travels frequently- he explores a world and when he decides he's done, he leaves for the next one. That's the basis of my personal interpretation of his series and his character for my writing.

Ok so reading this back, this got extremely long and didn't explain much in the way of lore, somehow? If anyone has any additions to add please do so, I am very definitely leaving out a lot and would love to see what other lore people remember and are using for Beef! I didn’t include the Hermitcraft stuff since my memory of season 4 is blurry (his base was themed after the Martian, that much I know, and he and Iskall were buddies :D) and most of the s5 NHO lore is best watched from Bdub’s perspective from what I remember, and the only s6 stuff is a single line in Hermitgang and then the Area 77 arc with its possibility of an NHO reunion which we did not get rip. And s7 of course had the cloning machine and also the Podzol Party as the main lore. So all the original rambling is still below the cut though it is very long, and I'm gonna bullet point the main stuff here instead:

Actual canonical things:

Invented UHC and was the only survivor of the first ever uhc (Mindcrack UHC s1)

Married to an ender dragon (one of the UHCs I think), later father to a different dragon (Mindcrack season 3? I think?)

Might not have legs if you choose to take that joke as canon (Mindcrack s2)

Was a wizard (RAD)

is a zookeeper (Building a Zoo) 

Had a wife and kids (Sims in Minecraft)

Part of the Trial of the B Team court case (Mindcrack)

NHO founder, founder of the Podzol Party (Hermitcraft)

Created a cloning machine that sort of works (Hermitcraft)

Played the Forest which is I believe the first time he and Keralis played together (look up the trigger warnings for this one, it's a horror game)

Was the creator/owner of Sourceblock SMP (featuring some familiar faces if you know Legacy, Empires, or MCC) and there is literal magic from a mysterious sourceblock of water that teleports people and summons mobs and probably more stuff that I haven't seen yet since I'm still watching it myself

Things you can infer:

Good with animals (Life in the Woods, Pixelmon, Ark)

Is a car nerd (irl and all of the car games he's played)

Is a highly experienced adventurer who has traveled through dozens of worlds both vanilla and modded, across multiple dimensions (Twilight Forest, the Aether, the Betweenlands, Limbo), completed dozens of monuments, fought in blood sports, survived apocalypse after apocalypse, tamed dinosaurs, and played a lot of prop hunt and golf with your friends

If you're looking for what to watch for lore purposes, I'd say the Mindcrack UHCs and Team Canada's RAD series are pretty good, definitely Sourceblock and HC s5, plus the Diversity CTM maps and Ruins of the Mindcrackers maybe? And Mindcrack Prank Wars for the chaos and the origin of Team Canada. And if you can handle horror than the Forest is fun and if you don't do horror you can watch the Pojkband play golf or prop hunt they're hilarious I love them sm I want a Pojkband reunion So Bad 

Beef's first series was a singleplayer series in beta 1.4_01 though he had played the game extensively before that, and was a big fan of Guude, having watched his own Minecraft videos. The series was functionally a hardcore one where if he died Beef would delete the world and start again! I haven't actually Watched this series so idk if he died or how often lmao. When Guude made Mindcrack, which was btw one of the very first Minecraft SMPs, he also hosted a competition for people to join, and Beef submitted a video (which is still viewable on his channel I believe!) and won, and was added to Mindcrack in season 2 :D (fun fact, Guude said that even if Beef hadn’t won he would have added him anyway) 

Two running jokes emerged from Mindcrack- pulling a Vintagebeef and Beef doesn't have legs. The first is a reference to Beef dying of fall damage (I believe the exact instance was him trying to jump into his swimming pool and failing spectacularly) and after the incident, every time someone died of fall damage they were pulling a Vintagebeef. The second joke comes from Guude, who joked that the reason Beef wasn't going to a convention was because he didn't have legs, and then he pranked Beef's base by building a giant pair of legs at the entrance to his castle so you had to walk between them to get into the base. This joke has long since died and both Beef and Guude feel pretty bad about it iirc because there were people who genuinely thought Beef was disabled and were emailing him supportive messages and stuff oops. So if you go looking on the Salad or find old Mindcrack fics, you might see references to Beef having prosthetic legs!

Mindcrack also brought about the creation of several Player groups- Team Nancy Drew, Team Canada, and GOB to name a few relevant to Beef. Team Nancy Drew consists of Beef, Pauseunpause, Guude, and Baj, who formed to investigate a prank on one of the members but I forget who. They're named Nancy Drew after the detective! Team Canada also formed in retaliation to pranks, with it consisting of Beef, Etho, and Pause, the three Canadian members on the server (not including Adlington who moved to Canada but never joined the group). There was also a Team America who pranked them with American flags everywhere. GOB is Guude, OMGChad, and Beef, who played stuff like the Ragecraft, Pantheon, and Monstrosity ctms together but that's way down the line lol

Team Nancy Drew is also notable for inventing UHC. It was Beef's brainchild but it was the four of them who first played it! The first UHC had the four of them working to kill the dragon with no natural regen, with everyone dying but Beef, who "won" the UHC. The second uhc was still dragon focused and iirc is where Beef married the dragon? Memories are hazy but they do kill the dragon in this one I think. UHC was then revamped as a pvp event and became a regular Mindcrack game every few months, featuring most of the Mindcrackers and several special guests, including Dinnerbone, who as we know Thanos-snapped Doc's arm out of existence as a result of Doc killing him in one of them

In one of the seasons of Mindcrack, Beef invited swedish Mindcracker and good friend Anderzel to go caving with him and invented ABBA Rules caving, where the winner takes it all. ABBA Rules is a game where each ore (and also dungeon loot like nametags) is assigned a point value and the person with the most points at the end wins and gets to keep all the stuff collected from the game.

In Mindcrack season 3?, Beef punched the ender dragon in an... awkward area, so when the dragon died and left the egg behind, Guude said Beef was the father of the egg XD I don't remember if I watched s3 so I have no idea if anything Happened with this concept but *history of the world voice* you could make lore out of this!

So Team Canada has played a Lot of CTM maps (which fun fact were pretty much invented by another Mindcrack member, Vechs, with his Super Hostile series! Super Hostile has a bunch of things called "Zistonian", which are references to another Mindcrack member Zisteau, who has a very wild singleplayer series with even wilder lore but I digress). In Ruins of the Mindcrackers, they had a running joke that Beef was Etho and Pause's mom, which is a joke we can leave in the past actually /lh. They also played all the Diversity maps, Sky Factory, Terra Restore, Uncharted Territory uhhh and a couple more ctms and adventure maps! Each map kinda has its own story so in Diversity 3 for example they were trapped in a simulation? I think? Team Canada also recently played the Roguelike Adventures and Dungeons modpack, aka RAD, in which Beef was a wizard with a magic staff that could do anything from summon lightning to control hostile mobs.

Sourceblock SMP is a vanilla survival 1.14 series that ran for one season and the series starts with each of the Players being drawn to a strange sparkling water source that, once they touch it, brings them to the Sourceblock world. It also summons a giant zombie at one point. There's probably more lore for this series but like I said I haven't watched it all the way through yet 

He has a Patreon server called VintageCraft and has done a series or two on there as well, and played a few UHCs with them, so lore that how you will! 

Beef also played a few popular mods, notably Pixelmon, Life in the Woods, and Feed the Beast, with LitW being singleplayer and the other multiplayer. He's also recently played the Zoo and Wild Animals mod a lot. He did a short series with the Minecraft Comes Alive mod where he married one of the villagers and had two children, so that's canon now :D he’s played a Lot of Pixelmon starting when the mod first came out iirc (he chose Turtwig in his first series and built a Grass gym, then made a Normal gym in another series in uhh 2016) and he still plays to this day. Quite a few Hermits played on his Pixelmon servers with him, like Wels, Etho, Iskall, Stress, Slip, Zueljin, and also Guude and Phedran (a Mindcrack adjacent player and creator of the LitW modpack) and a few Mindcrackers on the older servers 

Mindcrack and friends played a lot of other games too- 7 Days to Die, Ark Survival Evolved, Unturned, to name a few, so you can pull a lot of lore out of these as well. Speaking of friends and non-Minecraft games, Beef teamed up with Pause, Keralis, and Slip (a former Hermit) to play the horror game the Forest, which saw them stuck on an island trying to survive against terrifying mutated human... things. They played it a few times as the game updated but as afaik it's the first time Beef played with Keralis and possibly Slip and since the game starts with the Player's airplane crashing, that could totally be how Beef first met them in-universe 

I... think? that’s everything I mentioned in the tags? There is probably way more stuff I’ve forgotten that stems from inside jokes and things that happen within each series, but I hope that was a) helpful and b) at least somewhat comprehensible lmao 

[adelaidedrubman]

🌷 — taking care of living things

🌲 — surviving in the wilderness

👊 — fighting

😇 — following rules

for Jestiny :3

thank you goose, sorry these took ten years!!

🌷 — taking care of living things

she can’t even take care of herself! if she has a virtue in this regard, it’s that she generally knows enough to keep living things well out of her care and custody in the first place. if she wants to look at plants, she’ll just go outside, where they’re already fucking growing, she would tell you, not spend good money trying to make them live in some shitty fucking house she doesn’t even wanna live in.

animals occupy a similar space in her life (she likes them, but doesn’t feel equipped to really have one for herself), not to mention an additional complex regarding pets — she was never allowed to have a pet as a child, but was constantly feeding strays and bringing them home, never getting to actually keep them. (i know, i’ve acknowledged before, i’m well aware of how on the nose this is.)

she probably has the most actual experience with children. her mother ran a daycare out of the family home, and as a result of observing and pitching in jessie has the basics of childcare down pat — she knows how to change a diaper, how to give a bottle, how often and how much and what children of different ages should be eating, how much they should be sleeping, etc. and children are generally entertained by her. but she would consider herself incapable of actually caring for a child for more than a few hours, she’s fairly certainly she could only ever do harm.

🌲 — surviving in the wilderness

one of her stronger skills, by far. multiday backpacking trips are a semi-regularity, and she’s prepared for much longer. while she’s not a hardcore survivalist (she hasn’t the disposal income and detachment from responsibilities required to dedicate to it) she has a decent amount of knowhow and impressive endurance. hiking the appalachian trail was once a goal of hers, and she’s retained a lot of the knowledge she gained while preparing to do so, even though the dream itself died. (well, except in the one very insular universe it didn’t.) she knows basic first aid (not enough to not intentionally stab herself, alas), she knows a few methods of building shelter, she has basic hunting and more than basic fishing skills, she can start a fire (haha), and she usually has a decent idea of what plants she should and shouldn’t eat. and unlike with many other things, she knows when to quit.

👊 — fighting

she certainly doesn’t have anything close to resembling formal training, but i would say she’s more than proficient. if nothing else she’s well balanced in a fight, she’s not particularly overpowered in any one combat attribute, she has a good mix of sturdiness, offensive strength, speed, and endurance. and possibly her greatest strength: fast thinking and resourcefulness.

😇 — following rules

well. she doesn’t have a criminal record i’ll give her that!

[nicoforlifetrue]

Phil couldn't remember how long he had been doing this.

Had it been eons or millennia? Lifetimes or generations?

In the end, it doesn't really matter he supposed.

When he first became a Watcher, he was young, he was naive, and worst of all he was kind.

There was no place for kindness or empathy as a Watcher.

He learned in those first few decades to carefully box up his kindness, his empathy, his chaos, and emotions - everything that made him him - and carefully tuck it away in the corners of his mind. At first, it was to survive, to live with these seemingly higher beings.

But that changed when he received his first pupil.

He had climbed the ranks. He was loyal too, but then he was given this child to groom. This naive, innocent child who he had to turn into one of them.

The child was the perfect watcher, the child was obedient and cruel; nothing like Phil had been.

So was the next child and the next and the next.

Child after child was happy to fall to the Watchers games, none needed the kindness and empathy that now sat unlocked in Phil’s mind.

Then it changed again.

His newest pupil’s name had been Grian, before his galactic name had been given to him at least.

Grian was bursting from the seams with chaos, empathy and kindness and mischief, and life.

Phil’s heart ached the first time he saw Grian, with his wild hair and shining eyes.

Grian refused to break.

As Phil led him through the motions he refused to cave, refused to blindly accept the morals of those who had kidnaped him.

Grian hated him.

It shone in his eyes. This child hated him because of what he was doing, because in this child’s eyes, he was the same as the rest of the Watchers.

And maybe he was, Phil realised, his heart aching as this kid, this teen, who had already gone through so much went through more.

His heart ached, empathy crawling out of that box and consuming his mind as for the first time in eons, he cried. He cried for this child that hated him.

Maybe that's why he started getting reckless, why he started speaking to this ball of chaos and hatred and life.

“You hate me.” This was the first thing he had ever said to a student.

Shock, fear, and worry all flashed across Grians' face.

He would not call this child by that galactic branding.

“I don't,” Grian insisted and Phil had smiled.

“You're lying,” he had said, and what an odd thing to be happy about. The fact that Grian could still lie to him was another sign of a cracked soul that refused to break.

“Why does it matter if I hate you or not?”

A question: what a good thing to hear in this wasteland of orders.

“Watchers don't hate,” he murmured with a smile, “Watchers shouldn't hate or care or enjoy.'' He had seen Grian’s face twist in fear, he was scared Phil would hurt him for hating him. What a sad thought.

“So keep hating me,” he whispered, “Enjoy flying, love to ruin my day, but whatever you do, never stop feeling.” It was a quiet plea, begging for this little light to not go out before he could get it out of this suffocating reality. “It might be the only thing keeping you mortal.”

He reviled in Grian’s confusion, a sign of life, and the entropy of emotion.

Something that now crawled from that no longer locked box, something that slid and slipped into his psyche.

Grian loved to fly as much as he hated Phil.

It was something he should squash, flying was a tool, not something to play with.

But Phil also loved to fly, wings as natural to him as if he had been born with the extra appendages.

So he took Grian flying hidden under the guise of training. His heart ached as he watched the child fly, a chaotic grin carved into his pupil’s face.

“It's freeing, isn't it? A flap of your wings and suddenly the world no longer holds you.” He had missed his voice. Every time he spoke he broke a rule, he was of too low status to speak. But here? With this raging inferno of hatred and anger and sadness, he spoke.

“Yeah, I mean kind of, the speed is the fun part for me at least.'' A different opinion, what a ridiculous thing to feel joy over. So simple and seemingly common yet something he hadn't heard in years.

And he smiled.

Grian didn't belong here, he wasn't meant to be a Watcher. Just like Phil hadn’t, but no one was there to save Phil.

But he was there to save Grian.

Grian no longer hated him, if he was being bold he may even say the younger liked his mentor.

...That might have changed when he got Grian out.

The look of hurt on the other's face made his heartbreak.

But it was worth it.

It was worth it when he was thrown down in front of the leader and was stripped away of all things that made him a Watcher.

He was happy they were all gone, even.

The only thing they couldn't rip away were his wings, they were meant to be his the second he came into the world and he was no natural-born, a lost limb would regrow.

He was meant to fly and they couldn’t take that from him.

That thought brought a spite filled laugh bubbling into his throat even as he was told his punishment he couldn’t help but laugh.

The Watcher wings wouldn't leave him so they must not be just for the Watchers.

They were his wings, they were his wings, not tools of the Watchers. He flew on his own, he didn't need them.

He was free.

So very very free.

Even as they trapped him in a world on hardcore mode he laughed.

They couldn't take away his wings so who's to say they could trap him?

They wouldn't find Grian and they couldn't keep either of them locked up and away.

He would never learn from them again.

He was alive and he was a player, not a Watcher. Not some natural-born they could corrupt and change.

He was a fucking player damn it and players survived.

Players never died.

You could kill them, beat them, and try to break them but players are chaotic by nature.

Players couldn’t be Watchers.

And he couldn't help but thank Grian for reminding him of that.

The robes never fit for a reason and he smiled as he gazed at the sky with his own eyes for the first time in forever, carefully holding his hand out to shield the delicate things from the light.

“Good luck, Grian.”

The world was awfully plentiful for a place of punishment.

He supposes it was meant to show him everything he would miss as a Watcher, the endless supplies, the lack of hunger, the lack of mobs hunting him.

But all of those simply made him feel all the more alive, connected. He feared for his life the rush of fear came with bubbling laughter. It wasn't a dull apathy it was a player's joy and fear and chaos.

He needed to collect to build. The endless toil of pleasant stinging at his aching limbs, pain was something Watchers didn't have. Pain was annoying and that's why he loved it. The satisfying ache after a job well done.

Hunger and food was something he missed. The soft ache in his gut and the pleasant taste of food. He had missed eating.

The Watchers had failed. They thought they could tame players and were so wrong, so very very wrong.

When he died he was happy.

But the players didn't die.

So as he opened his eyes, floating in an abyss, he smiled reaching out he pressed an option he had been waiting for.

{Return to Main Menu}

Players didn't die, they could be killed but they never truly died.

Players, unlike natural borns, could come back after they had been killed.

They could come back to a world only players could enter, the Main Menu. And they could choose a new world, make a new home they could continue and continue forever.

He had missed the noise of the Hub, of the Menu

He had missed the rush of players with places to be as they ran about, young spawns toddling behind their caretakers as everything moved, and kept moving.

With a small smile on his face and hope in his heart, Phil walked.

---

Wilbur reminded him of Grian.

Wilbur had the same fire in his eyes, that same drive.

They shared the same eyes.

Dark coal-black that shone with colors of mischief and trickery.

Maybe that's why Phil was attached to the other.

He knew why he was attached to Techno. The younger's voice was too flat, his eyes too dull, too good of a fighter for Phil not to worry about where he went when he vanished. He reminded him of those perfect children. But there were times where his humor was too dry, his eyes too manic, and his smile poorly hidden. Techno was too stubborn to break even as Phil worried.

He knew why he was attached to Tommy. With his chaotic voice and bouncy personality, his quickness to change, and his ingrained defiance; he was like Grian in that he was alive.

Wilbur was a mystery, at least as to why he was so attached. Maybe he simply liked him but something in the back of his mind said that was untrue and some part of him whispered familiarity.

Maybe he'll figure it out someday.

----

Grian never forgot. He couldn't.

Here he was now, surrounded by people he loved. Smiling and laughing with a family. Yet he couldn't forget: it struck him when he flew, it found him in his dreams, it trailed behind him as he built.

He missed his mentor.

He didn't know their real name but he knew their voice, soft and patient and so kind in that sea of apathy.

He didn't know their favorite color but he knew their smile. Hidden and cautious, like at any moment the reason they had been given to smile would be ripped away.

He didn't know their hobbies, but he knew they loved to fly.

He knew they cared about him enough to risk their own life.

And he missed them.

He missed their kindness, their empathy.

He missed someone who understood.

MCC wasn't where he thought he would find them.

The faded pale blond, soft gentle smile, the pale purple wings. Wings they shared.

Green looked better on them than purple ever had Grian thought as he shoved through the crowd.

A name in galactic was spilling from his lips before he could stop himself, his savior hero friend dad dad DAD old mentor glancing to see him eyes watered in a second as Grian finally reached them crashing together in a mess of tears and names, both wings spread wide.

"You’re alive, you’re alive, they didn't kill you." Was what he was saying.

"You made it. God look at you look at how you've grown." Was what the other was murmuring.

They stood there, reveling in the fact the other was alive for at least an hour though it was probably just seconds before another voice called out

"Phil? Uh, what's going on here?"

Grian didn't look up just sniffled as he murmured, "Phil's a good name."

"So is Grian."

His name was Phil, and Grian had missed him.

-----

:)