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consistent-self-destruction · 1 year ago

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oh wow, the last time i posted was basically exactly a year ago lol.

well both a lot and nothing's changed much, i'm back to b emo again so that alone should say enough without saying anything

if anything things have gotten WORSE lmfao, i'm literally not supposed to be here right now but unfortunately the attempt fucking failed

nobody tells you how embarrassing that is - how did you fail at everything INCLUDING trying to kill yourself LMFAO, LIKE DAMN YOU REALLY CANT WIN

okay im being silly to cope but idk. when i got in touch with my counselor after it happened, she asked how much i wanted to be alive here on a scale from 1-10, with 10 being i literally wanna die right now in this instant, and 1 being miraculous healing and lifetime peace. the first day after i told her 8.5. three days later i said 3. it's a few weeks later now, and ive realized that my answer to the question has been sliding up and down everyday.

this is not even what i wanna talk about, i don't know how i ended up talking about that lol. anyway actually wait ANOTHER sb but artists im obsessed with rn: ka$hdami and 6arelyhuman okay moving on now ummm im trying so hard to be a 1 on that scale and maintain optimism and hope but like things keep going wrong and everything keeps irritating me and i genuinely feel like shit and i dont want to feel like shit because freaking 2014 just started, the year just started but unfortunately i am not optimistic about this year at all - i can't predict what will happen or how it will go or feel, everything is uncertain and im tired of being so unsure and incapable and it makes me want to leave earth because it's all just so tiring and now im just rambling hhhhh

to gather my thoughts coherently.. im bleeding out my fucking gooch. my charger is broken and wont charge my phone unless it's at an angle. my back camera is broken, my phone's been having storage issues, i don't feel pretty these days, i don't know what to do with my hair, it's freaking cold as hell in my house, i've got a sore throat, the only bathroom in the house with a bathtub has cold water so i can't take any soothing baths which is one of the best parts of being home, my sleep schedule is entirely in reverse, and i just feel so energetically exhausted. the house is a mess and my room is cluttered and my mom wants me to take down the christmas decorations, and i WANT to because cleaning makes me feel productive but i just don't have the stamina or ENERGY, like i feel physically sick and unwell and irritated and run down and incapable and i hate it so much, why is 2024 already off to the worst. and that's just in the present tense. in the future tense, like i said i am not optimistic about this year at all. i anticipate it being a really really difficult year and it makes me wanna cry because i don't wanna do it but i know i need to. you know how they say you have to get through the storm to see the other side? or some shit like that idfk, i dont wanna go through the storm! im so tired of the rain im so tired of being cold im so tired of goosebumps and anxiety and uncertainty and all of it !!!!!!! i've been trying to find my way through a storm for YEARS and it has not let up ONCE. i want to stop but i tried doing that and the universe just took me off pause and made me keep going, why couldn't they just let me join the stars. it would've been so much easier.

instead i have to stay here and try my best to heal and recover and work around my issues but i just can't imagine it, i can't imagine getting better i just don't see it. i can daydream about a version of myself that's better and stronger all i want, but i know in my heart that she'll never exist because i've been trying to be her for years and i just can't get there. i keep falling short. i keep failing. i keep taking L after L after L and im just. so. tired. i don't want to try anymore.

it's not always like this. sometimes there will be something that motivates me and makes me feel inspired to live again. but it always passes by and i come back to these feelings and this state. i keep falling back into this hole and it's such an exhausting up and down and back and forth.

the reason im here being emo again is i just feel like i can't talk to anyone about this. usually when i come back to this freaking blog that's the case. i always come back here when i have feelings that i need to release but i dont feel comfortable sharing with anyone. i don't wanna say anything on my spam because i don't want anyone to see all this negativity and darkness in me, and i don't want my close friends and innocent people to be randomly laden with this kind of depressing energy just as the year FRESH started and they're only casually scrolling their feed. you know what i mean? i hate scrolling my feed and seeing depressing shit. i don't wanna do that to my friends. i want peace and good vibes and good energy and a clean refreshing start to the year for them. i want them to be happy. i dont wanna post on my spam something that will gut their heart out, bring their mood down, and make them see me different. and it's the same with my best friend. not so much the last part cause they already know all these sides of me. and that is really relieving. but the only reason why i hold back from telling them this right now is because of the first reason - the year just started. they don't need this energy. we've already been having realtalks that are depressing enough. they dont need me calling them and texting them every time i feel depressed and manic and lost - that would be so shitty and i hate people who do that. it's energy stealing and self-centered. and for obvious reasons i don't talk to my family about these things. so i am left with this silly little blog, my beautiful void. oh how i love speaking into the void. it gives the illusion of speaking to someone without actually speaking to anyone. it's a perfect release.

but yeah idk, long story short im on my period, im sick with a sore throat, freezing in my house, feeling ugly and tired and incapable and irritated, with an inability to find optimism for the future and worst of all NO HOES! <;/3333

dude.. no because my love life is an entirely different type of pain. it's so... dude.

in the very least, i should be starting long-term therapy this year. that's the plan at least. my counselor gave me some recommendations, offices to call, and i have my dad's support. i'm gonna call in the numbers either tomorrow or thursday. i say this as "in the least" because even though i know it's supposed to be helpful, im not too optimistic about it. i don't like how many times i've used that word smfh. but im not - i don't really look forward to opening up about my 5 billion issues to a complete stranger. i have a hard enough time with the idea of how people perceive me. when i first started having sessions with my counselor, it really did not help because i didn't open up to her in the way i was supposed to. i told her surface level shit and sugar coated things instead of telling her the important things. im worried im only going to do that again. i don't like people seeing the worst of me - even when im PAYING them to see that side of me and when i NEED to show that side of me in order to FIX it. rahhhhhh. i also don't really look forward to it because i just see it as something large and overwhelming and unsolvable. my mental health that is. i don't look forward to tackling it in therapy. for only once a week? with that rate it's gonna take YEARS for me to figure myself out. and not only do i not have that kind of time, but it sounds so frustrating - slow agonizing progress, if any progress is made at all. im in such a pessimistic mood right now and i'm really not always like this - but this is also just the logical side of my brain. i just don't see it working out. i want it to. i want it to work badly - that's why we're going to try it. but i still am not optimistic about what the outcome will be and i am more daunted by the emotional and mental energy it will take out of me. i am second guessing if i should do school at the same time as therapy. i don't think any of this will go well. i only see myself getting consumed by things all over again - losing energy and motivation and time and getting depressed when everything goes wrong again. i think i might just also be scared by the process of healing. healing itself is not scary - but the process is terrifying. i don't trust it. i don't know if it will work. every time i thought i was healing i was just spiraling into a new unknown. the process of healing sounds so energetically draining, it sounds so deceptive, it sounds so emotionally torturing, it sounds fake, and it sounds incredibly time consuming and i already am NOT in time's favor. so i guess that's why i am not optimistic about this year - because i already know what the theme is. i already know what my focus is. this year for me, is all about healing and learning myself better. learning how to overcome my worst habits, my worst thoughts and emotions, and navigate situations that trigger them. this year is intended to be the year i start therapy. the year i put my mental health in the spotlight after years of trying to navigate it and figure it out on my own. i know the fact that im going to have professional support and guidance is supposed to be encouraging, but im so focused on the fact that there is so MUCH i need support and guidance with - and i need to tackle all of it once a week.. while in school... engaging with the very environment that deeply triggers me as i try not to be triggered, figure out ways around being triggered, SUCCEED at not getting triggered so i can therefore succeed in my academic environment, AND also figure out ways to make money on my own on the side. and that's not even going into deeper detail. idk, i just have so many needs to meet, and a billion things on my mind - obligations, responsibilities, needs, and they're all scrambled up in this big black scribble in my brain that's so thick i can hardly see through to the other side. and i don't like that blockage. i don't like that lack of foresight and clarity. i don't like the uncertainty. it makes me nervous and hesitant and resistant. i want to resist this year and this life so badly.

but all in all im just so tired. as always. it never goes away. the rage and frustration and exhaustion it just never goes away and i just really want a long long hug and a nice backrub.

please.

- 1.3.24 | 1:05 AM -

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vinguist · 3 years ago

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For anyone's who's interested in how the Dialtown Fangame; Ringer Bay is doing in terms of the [extremely rushed] demo, I wrote an admittedly too long post.

The "demo" will be out by may 18th. Not sure if its a demo or a beta, or whatever idfk about game stuff, just callin it a demo though. Anyhow his demo(?) is like 50% placeholder images, and some characters/locations aren't added yet. Mostly because of it being a rushed school project- so things will be a little funky.

Here's an example of a finished sprite vs a placeholder sprite so you kinda know what to expect;

Same for some of the other assets like cutscene images. Comparitive of those aswell is below;

All of these unfinished images will be redone/finished later on, aswell as making the design of Wolfram actually stay consistant throughout.

also sorry to the Beowulf simps, Beo's route wont be added till later, and same with Garret and her route.

You can encounter Beowulf atleast, but their routes cannot be activated.

If you're wondering what all routes will be in the demo its really only these three:

Wolfram, found in town

Sullivan, found in the construction site

Ashe, found on the beach

There's also some setbacks/limitations I've encountered with trying to make an entire game in google slides. So unless I want to double the size of an already massive google slideshow, you can't choose the type of object head that Gingi has, mostly defaulting to phone unless its Ashe's or Sully's routes. I'm not going to even try implementing custom pronoun/name options. Due to these limitations the player will be refered to with they/them, gender neutral language, and just named Gingi.

Storywise, full game's stories will be very different; meaning I haven't actually added the story yet, [which is part of why I can't add Beowulf's and Garret's routes]. All I can say is there may or may not be something up with the new god and canines.

Before anyone asks when the full game will be done, I don't know other than it will take a long time. If you haven't made an entire game in google slides before, or just a game in general, its really hard! and very time consuming! especially when you're drawing all of the backgrounds/sprites/etc by yourself! I also have to worry about high school so I can't spend every waking moment making this-

Uh, anyway feel free to ask questions if you have any, and have fun yall!

#Ringer Bay #dialtown #dialtown fangame #dialtown oc #this was a long post but needed to let ya'll know whats going on and what to expect

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kiridarling · 4 years ago

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pretty pls for the kissing booth! can i have college!au with phone sex (accidental sounds fun 👀), corruption, & maybe ending with... face sitting? (lol from frustration) top! kats but pls for more pining ! longing ! type interactions 🥺

i think this is what you meant by "type interactions" but if it isn't, i'm sorry ahaha 😳 also this is a lil long,,,oops

(roommate!kats, f!reader, implied FWB, exhibitionism, mentioned roomie!denki)

a ping from your phone shakes you mid-lecture. you frown at the text, knowing katsuki never texts unless he wants something—but they’re few and far between. and yet, you swipe right.

katsuki | We're outta milk.

ah.

you | then buy some??

katsuki | I don't buy the goddamn groceries.

you | im in class, asshole

katsuki | Make a pit stop when it’s over.

you | no

katsuki | So we're just supposed to live grocery-less, then.

you | MILK-LESS until you man up and go to the grocery store yourself

katsuki | Bitch.

you scoff, nearly slamming your phone face-first into the desk. you hate your roommate. appartement-mate. friends with benifits. whatever. it pings after a few minutes.

katsuki | Wyd.

you | trying to pay attention

you | go away

katsuki | I'm that distracting, huh?

you | YOU'RE BLOWING UP MY PHONE

katsuki | I'm really not.

you | stfu this class is boring

katsuki | Valid.

katsuki | I'm bored too.

you | THEN GET THE MILK

katsuki | NO

you | i hate you

katsuki | You love me.

you | no

you | hate

katsuki | Yeah, until you get drunk. Then I'm your "favorite person."

you | everyone's my favorite person when im drunk

katsuki | what the fuck is this

one image attached!

katsuki | And you scream-ran from Dunce Face the time he tried to give you a hug and you were drunk, remember?

you | those would be my underwear kats

you | and idfk where denki’s hands have been, he's gross

katsuki | You let him hug you on a daily basis.

you | I. WAS. DRUNK.

katsuki | Right, right.

katsuki | The fuck do you mean "underwear" this is a fucking shoelace.

you | WHY ARE YOU HOLDING IT

katsuki | I never said that.

katsuki | I said it's built like a shoelace. You're just lucky Denki didn't find it.

you | its a fucking thong, no shit

you | true that, tho

you | where'd you find it?

katsuki | In the middle of the fucking living room. Take better care of your shit.

you | haha oops ☺️

you | can you put it in my dresser? top drawer on the right

katsuki | Ight.

katsuki | Sex toys, huh?

you | OH GOD NOT THAT DRAWER

you | KATSUKI I SAID THE RIGHT!!! THE RIGHT!!!

katsuki | This is the fucking right.

you | THE LEFT!!!

katsuki | Why the fuck do you have a vibrating dildo?

you | BECAUSE I HAVE NEEDS NOW CLOSE THE FUCKING DRAWER

katsuki | It’s really fucking loud. When do you use it?

you | PUT. IT. DOWN.

katsuki | Hmm

katsuki | Or what?

you | or ill come over there myself and rip you to shreds

katsuki | I’d like to see you try.

katsuki | Plus, you gotta stay because if you miss any more classes you won’t get credit, right?

you | sacrifices can be made

katsuki | you in a lecture?

you | ya thank fuck

katsuki | Where are you sitting?

you | WHY

katsuki | Answer the fucking question.

you | idfk i guess towards the back

katsuki | Touch yourself.

you choke, but in your defense, you were also mid-sip. either way, it catches the attention of the entire class. you quickly stutter a sorry and your teacher unpauses.

you | um

you | what

katsuki | You can fucking read, can’t you?

you | wow no foreplay this time

katsuki | You have twenty fucking minutes until your class is over we don’t have time for goddamn foreplay.

you | demanding

katsuki | I’m horny.

katsuki | Now do it.

you | stfu

with a huff, you stuff your hands down your pants as best you can without anyone seeing. at least you have an oversized sweatshirt to keep yourself from looking too suspicious. you start simple, just a hand on your clit, body thrumming in betrayal.

katsuki | How does it feel, Princess?

you | fucking uncomfy

you | i’m in jeans

katsuki | Ever touch yourself in public?

you | no

you | not like this

katsuki | So you have?

you | shut

katsuki | You liked it, didn’t you?

katsuki | Dirty fucking girl.

you cough to hide a moan, katsuki's text catching you by surprise. though you're not sure why it does, considering you know his mouth is just as witty as it is rude. luckily, your cough isn't explosive enough catch anyone's attention.

katsuki | Tell me what you want me to do to you.

you | its not easy to text and masturbate in class, yk

katsuki | Fucking fine, then.

katsuki | I want you to sit on my face. I love how wet you get for me every fucking time, slick dripping down my cheeks. I bet you're soaked for me right now, aren't you?

You hiss and the person to your front shoots you a weird look. You smile back and pray to god your cheeks aren't pink.

you | KAT OKAY YOU CANT JUST BE BLUNT LIKE THAT

katsuki | Why not?

you | because im in CLASS

katsuki | Or because I get you all hot and bothered.

you | what's your point

katsuki | That you're loving this. You like getting off to the thought of me in public without anyone knowing.

katsuki | You’re all mine, aren’t you?

you | yeah

you | all yours

katsuki | Good girl.

katsuki | Slip a finger in.

you | pls tell me your kidding

katsuki | Do I look like I'm kidding, Princess?

one image attached!

Your eyes widen. Nope. That's definitely one hard cock. The best part is, it's all for you.

katsuki | Do it.

You listen, shivering when you bury your index to the hilt.

you | did it

katsuki | Good.

katsuki | Add another.

you | are you TRYING TO GET ME CAUGHT

katsuki | I'm getting you ready for my cock

katsuki | Because the second you get home I'm fucking you on the kitchen counter.

You bite back a moan at the thought of the last time your roommate made such a promise—except it was to fuck you senseless in the shower before Eijirou came to visit. And he delivered.

you | fucking fine

you | fuck kats i cant do this

katsuki | How long until the bell rings?

you | idfk like five minutes

you curse, setting your phone down. the squelch of your fingers is loud enough to make you paranoid but doesn't seem to catch your professors attention, but your thighs burn at the prospect nonetheless.

katsuki | Third finger.

You figure Katsuki's sentences get less coherent as he gets closer, and you nearly giggle at the thought that he's probably teasing himself right now.

you | kats its too much

you | i'm gonna cum

katsuki | No, you're gonna hold on until you get home, or I'm not touching you for a week.

you | kat please

katsuki | Fuck no.

Brring!

The sound of the school bell jolts you back into the present, and you find yourself ripping your fingers away with a sigh. So fucking close, too. Discreetly cleaning your slick off on the inside of your sweatshirt, you pack up your things with damp fingers.

katsuki | Class over?

you | yes asshole

katsuki | Okay then fucking hurry.

You snort. Needy.

you | what about the milk

katsuki | Fuck the milk

katsuki | I'll go buy some later or some shit. Right now I wanna fuck you.

#❣️katsuki #❣️the kissing booth

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psycho-slytherin · 5 years ago

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Strangers ch. 43

You go back to work, and come to terms with what’s happened.

Pairing: Idol!Yoongi x Actress!Reader

Word count: 3k

Genre: fluff, angst, idfk

Warnings: Tiiiny bit of cursing, a hint of depression

|mlist|

<–– Prev Next ––>

“Girl, he broke up with you? What happened?”

“I don’t know,” you moan, clapping your hands to your ears. Her voice persists, echoing inside your head.

“He liked her more. You were never even together, and he still couldn’t wait to get rid of you.”

“Stop it. Shut up.”

“Poor, traumatized Y/n, who’s been nothing but trouble. Y/n, who’s an anxious little nobody. Y/n, trying to drag a star like him down to your level.”

“That’s not true!” “He hates you. Why else would he do that? He knows what she did to you, and he’s with her anyways. He hates you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“But you do, Y/n.”

“Fame, flashlight– gi-give it to me!”

Unlike most of your nightmares, for once you don’t bolt upwards in a panic. Your eyes simply open at the sound of your alarm and blink several times.

After a moment of stillness, you reach for your phone. It’s time for a change. Waking up to his voice every day used to be a delight, but now… you switch the sound back to the default alarm noise. It’s been all of one day since you awoke to his betrayal– twenty-four hours since the second of the two people you trusted most in the world was lost to you.

And I had to go from hearing one in my sleep to getting woken up by the other, you think humorlessly as you shove your blanket off and stretch.

Kang Seoyeon. You’ve spent so long thinking only of her attack, that flash of hair, that shove into the river, that learning her name feels like a punch in the stomach. She’s not just a nightmare. You don’t know whether you’re relieved or horrified.

Doesn’t matter. You have work today. The dark cloud that formed after Lisa’s disappearance, the same one that grew in weight when you saw Seoyeon’s picture on Lisa’s laptop and again when your mom cut you off– it overwhelmed you yesterday after you saw the news about him and Seoyeon. The feeling, the horrible, gnawing darkness got so intense that something inside of you seemed to break, and the pressure simply… lifted.

You survived an attempt on your life. You didn’t need him then, and you don’t need him now, especially since he’s made it clear that he doesn’t need you either.

And so you get dressed in more layers than you need, put on makeup, and walk to the subway station. You’d take an Uber but now, more than ever, you need to save money. Thanks, Mom. Maybe you can find a flat with lower rent further from the city? Or check with student housing? Right, you’re still a student.

As you approach, you notice a commotion around the studio. There’s a crowd outside, a mix of what look like fans and paparazzi. You tug your collar up in the hopes that you’re not spotted, but–

“Y/n! Any comment on Suga’s new girlfriend?”

“Just a quick photo, please!”

“Do you think Suga cheated on you?”

“Y/n! What do you have to say to Kang Seoyeon?”

“Are the rumors that you’ve been missing work true?”

“How did your relationship end?”

“No comment,” you say, the tidal wave of noise crashing down onto you as you fight for breath amidst the crowd. Despite the heat of all the bodies, you begin to shiver. “Please let me through.”

“Y/n!” A familiar voice rings out above the confusion. Avery, your director, stands tall in the doorway. “Let her pass. We will not be commenting or taking questions at this time.”

With Avery’s help, you manage to push through the mob, half collapsing once the large studio doors have closed behind you. Inside the studio, the cast and crew bustle about, almost busier than usual.

“Are you okay?” Avery asks, concerned.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. Avery, look, I’m sorry I haven’t been at filming–”

“It’s in the past,” the director says kindly. “I know you’ve been through a lot. But… well, Y/n, you need a manager. A real manager. I’ve been talking with some of my agency friends, and I think-”

“I have a manager,” you interrupt. Unless… you Googled the statistics of surviving a kidnapping for as long as Lisa’s been gone. The research alone made you feel nauseous. But Lisa’s alive. She has to be. Right?

Avery folds her arms, as though she can tell something’s off. “Really? Then where’s your driver? Who’s organizing your gigs, negotiating your wages? Who’s hiring you a bodyguard? ‘Cause the people outside are showing me that you need one.”

“She just-”

“Where’s the publicist managing your online presence? You shouldn’t have to do this all on your own, Y/n. And for god’s sake, where is the person who’s supposed to keep celebrities like you from going off the deep end?”

“I’m not a celebrity, Avery! I’m not him, okay?”

“I know. But you have to understand, no one has ever been in a position like yours. BTS have a powerful fanbase, and none of them have dated before, least of all dated a virtual nobody. I know your relationship wasn’t real,” she continues, seeing you about to protest. “But it’s what needed to happen to protect both of your reputations. You skipped a lot of steps on the way to fame, Y/n. You need an experienced manager to keep you on track.” Avery shrugs. “I can email you a list of people you should talk to. Now, have you talked to your professors about missing classes? Will you be ready to go?”

“What? Go where?”

Avery raises a brow. “We’re filming on location next week, remember? There’s been an on-set announcement every day this week, and the email was sent out a month ago.”

Oh. What? You’ve barely been onset this week, so overwhelmed were you with the terror that Seoyeon had managed to instill within you. But you’ve been checking your email and your phone messages almost obsessively after you’d learned that the university had messaged you about Lisa’s disappearance first. You won’t let anything like that happen again. And yet… “I haven’t, uh… I haven’t gotten any emails about that.”

“Check your spam folder, I’m certain you received them.” Avery says cooly. “Anyways, you’ve missed a lot of work. Can I assume you’re back for good?”

“Yes.” You reply immediately. “Absolutely, ma’am. I’m very, very sorry for not being present lately. I’ll work hard to make up for it.” Is the existence of Seoyeon, and the unknown connection between her and Lisa, still terrifying? Of course. Does his sudden relationship with Seoyeon, after seeing him only two days ago, make your heart feel like it’s being shredded into pieces? Maybe. But you’ve broken yourself back together; no one can hurt you anymore.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Avery says, satisfied. “Now, go on to wardrobe, it’s gonna be a long day. We’re filming three episodes’ worth of your and Yoongi’s scenes.”

You gulp. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Speaking of Yoongi…” Avery checks her watch. “He’s late. Whatever– go get dressed.”

With nothing more to say, you make for the dressing rooms. And of course, who has to exit in full costume but…

“Y/n.”

You nod, your usual irrepressible anger nowhere to be seen. No one can hurt you anymore. “Jeongyeon.”

“I heard about you and Yoongi.” Jeongyeon seems to attempt to muster her usual obnoxious sneer, but it falls flat. You suppose your expression is just pitiful enough to put off her bullying.

“Ah, yeah.” You don’t know what else to say. It was just a fake relationship, so you should be glad it’s over. After all, Bang PD had said the arrangement could end whenever you wanted it to… and clearly, he wanted it to.

“Well, whatever. How does he go from bad to worse, am I right? Did you see his new girl?”

There she is, you think, watching Jeongyeon slip back into the character you know so well.

“Anyways,” she continues. “I heard we’re sharing a trailer for when we film on location. Don’t even think about stealing my bobby pins.”

You salute your costar ironically before brushing past her into the dressing rooms.

Forty minutes later, you’re finally clothed in all your beautiful layers, your face perfectly made up. You’re an actress, a professional. Whatever is happening in your personal life, you have to put it aside for the sake of your work.

“So pretty~” the stylist coos as she expertly fixes your hair. You hear the door open, but you can’t move to see who entered as the stylist continues: “Doesn’t she look lovely?”

“Ah, yeah.”

Your eyes widen at his voice. The stylist still has a hold of your hair, and you can’t turn to look at him.

After an eternal silence, he clears his throat. “Anyways, Avery sent me here for hair and makeup?”

“Yes, Mr. Min, just one more second while I finish up with Y/n here…” after what seems like a lungful of hairspray, you’re set free. At last, you turn and look at Min Yoongi.

The shadows under his eyes are darker than you’ve ever seen them, and his normally good posture has disappeared for slumped shoulders. Must be the stress of a new relationship.

“Y/n,” Yoongi starts. “Look, I–”

“It’s okay,” you interrupt, pasting a smile onto your face. “It’s whatever, Yoongi, alright?”

“Uh, right.” Yoongi fidgets with one of his rings, seemingly at a loss.

“I just…” you can feel your facade begin to slip, and shake your head. “Never mind. I’ll see you onset.”

~~~

Yoongi watches you go, clenching his fist. He wasn’t expecting to see you at work today, and he definitely wasn’t expecting… well, whatever that was.

He doesn’t know why he feels a little disappointed to realize how okay you are with this situation. Certainly far more okay than he is. Maybe you really were eager to get out of your relationship.

Shit. He wishes he could fix this, wishes he could tell you everything. A shiver runs down his spine, though, when he remembers exactly why he can’t talk to you.

“You go to the police,” Seoyeon said, holding out her phone so Yoongi can see, “you talk to the paparazzi, or your precious little girlfriend, and this one will be gone before anyone can find her.”

Yoongi gulped. “How do I know that’s not doctored?”

He received a shrug. “That’s a chance you’ll have to take. Now, we’re going to do this my way. Want to keep Y/n safe? And the other one too?” She nods at the photo on her phone. “Follow my rules, and they won’t get hurt. But I’ll be keeping this one… for insurance.”

“You’re insane.”

Seoyeon winked. “Nope, just a fan!”

Faking a relationship with your attacker, seeing the insurance she’s kept, and knowing that he can’t tell you any of it, is almost too much for Yoongi. But he’s got D working to track Lisa’s phone, and Avery to suggest you hire bodyguards. Sure, he may be stretched thin enough to snap, but he’ll keep everyone safe. He has to.

~~~

You’re hanging around on the indoor set of what’s supposed to be a busy town market filled with extras. You’re always amazed at the movie magic that allows the simple set such versatility.

You can hear him before you see him: the cast and crew can never help but murmur at the biggest star in the show. And yet, you don’t turn to look. It’s not like you’re avoiding him, but… well, he has to have realized that he hurt you, right? And of course, now you have to play the brokenhearted ex, since all your coworkers think the relationship was real. Which means more lies.

But it’s okay. You’re strong. Stronger than him, stronger than his new girlfriend.

“Okay!” Avery barks, and the present company jumps to attention. “I know there’s a lot of excitement on set today, so I hope everyone remembers to keep things professional. Now, let’s get started. Episode 13, scene 6. The scene: Kim Ji-Woo has just returned from her trip to the countryside as she recovers from Mr. Moon’s sudden engagement to Mi-Gyeong, the wealthy Mr. Gang’s younger sister. They bump into each other at the market and Mr. Moon invites Ji-Woo to the ball held in honor of the engagement. Ready, and… action!”

You move quickly into the view of the camera, waving at the imaginary coachman behind you. “No, really, it’s alright! I can walk home, Father should have the carriage in any case– yes, goodbye now, good- oh!”

Not looking where you were going, you walk right into Yoongi. Your basket clatters onto the dirt road and for a second you feel the urge to stay there in his arms as you have so many times before. “I’m terribly sorry, Mr- Mr. Moon?” you allow your voice to tremble for a second. Here he is, the man who had promised himself to you, and then turned around and chose to love another. Here he is, and every feeling you tried to bury comes rushing back. But… no. There’s still your dignity to think about.

“My apologies,” you murmur, reaching down to grab your basket as you curtsy. Basket secured, you’re quick to turn away from the newly-engaged man who, only weeks before, had secretly asked you to marry him.

“Oh, wait, wait! Miss Kim!” Mr. Moon extends his arm, his hand barely brushing yours. Your skin prickles with equal parts excitement and pain.

You can’t ignore so blatant a summons. You look back at him slowly. “Is there something I may help you with, sir?” Sir. How long has it been since you were able to call him by his given name?

“Please, I…” Mr. Kim pauses, his jaw tense. “My father is hosting a ball tonight. In honor of my engagement.”

“Congratulations,” you reply, as drily as your good manners will allow. For what reason is he reminding you of his betrayal?

“Would you attend, as my guest? Your sisters are most certainly welcome as well,” Mr. Moon says, his voice just shy of pleading.

Is he out of his mind? No, he’s just pulling rank and expecting you to say yes. No sane country girl such as yourself could ever turn down an invitation from a man of such good breeding.

And yet, he led you to believe he loved you, and you him, before turning tail and running towards a much better match. All the good you saw in him then… where is it now?

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, staring at him. “But my family will be unable to attend. I wish you the best in your life, and in a very… happy marriage. Good day, Mr. Moon.”

“Good– ah.” You can’t see Mr. Moon rub his eyes tiredly, for you’ve already walked away, full of determination. I don’t need him.

“Cut! Holy shit, guys!” Avery claps loudly, a wide grin on her face. “I think that was the best I’ve ever seen you two together. Keep it up! Let’s use that take. Okay, next, episode 14, scenes 30-33.”

The workday is long and brutal, but you’d never complain– at least you still have a job, after the absentee stunt you pulled.

Speaking of absentee… Lisa. It’s been a month now since she’s disappeared, and maybe you could have chalked it up to some quarter-life crisis at first. After all, she bought that plane ticket to America.

But a month? And the police are still looking for her. They must have a reason to believe it’s more than university angst, right?

You need to face the facts, Y/n. And the facts are that Lisa must have been kidnapped. And to stay alive a month after being kidnapped…

You can’t think about it. But you can’t not think about it. And if you’re moving past Yoongi, you have to move past your best friend, too.

“Avery?” You approach the director , who’s giving instructions to an assistant, after the cast has been dismissed for the day. At your voice, she glances up.

“Y/n, what can I do for you?”

“I’m…” You take a deep breath, knowing your nightmares will take revenge on you. “I’m ready to look for a manager. Can you email me your contacts?” Hopefully you receive them– the fact that you haven’t noticed any emails about filming on location is really concerning.

Avery smiles. “Of course, Y/n. I really do wish you the best.”

“Thank you.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Yoongi wander your way. Avery seems to notice him as well, and manages to disappear before you can blink. The set has cleared out for the most part, with only some cosmetologists and stylists packing up.

“Hey, stranger,” you greet him. Yoongi’s eyes dart back and forth nervously.

“I’m sorry.” He finally blurts out.

“What?” Your voice remains neutral. Is he apologizing for knowing Seoyeon without telling you? For dating her?

Yoongi reaches for your hand before freezing. “I don’t know how this is going to end, Y/n, but in case something goes wrong, I need to tell you that I’m so, so sorry.”

Yoongi… “You can’t do that,” you say eventually. He can’t hurt you anymore, but that doesn’t mean you won’t tell him the truth. “You can’t play with me like this, Yoongs. You can’t tell me that I’m safe and then turn around and hold her hand. You can’t come back and apologize for your actions after what she did to me. What she might have done to Lisa! Do you even hear yourself?” You’re half-shouting before you realize it, but you can’t stop. “Christ, I knew celebrities were selfish, but this is god-tier bullshit. She could have killed me, Yoongi! Would you still have loved her then?”

“I don’t–” Yoongi stops short before shaking his head. “You don’t understand.”

“So teach me.”

“I… can’t.”

You breathe in sharply, gripping your bag. “Okay, then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you. And, Y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“Be careful.”

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hamonsurveysoverdrive · 4 years ago

Text

Shiny

What was the last thing you spent under five dollars on? A Monster. How many times have you cried in the past week? Once or twice, not over anything major. When was the last time you saw a rainbow? Uh, does on Animal Crossing count? Because that was today lol Have you ever had feelings for someone your best friend was dating? Nope. Have you ever used your cell phone as a light source in the dark? Yes. Is there anything written on the shirt you’re wearing? Nope. Would you rather spend two days in London or a week in Finland? London. Where were you living in 1997? My hometown. How was your first kiss? It was alright. Do you still talk to the person you shared it with? No. Are you the oldest of your siblings? No. What're your initials? AVW. What does that middle initial stand for? Victoria. When was the last time you kissed someone? Last night. Do you regret it? Absolutely not. How long is it until your next birthday and how old will you be? About 7 months. I'll be 33. What was the last song you heard? Idk. Do you have any tattoos? I have ten. How would you react if you found out you were pregnant right now? I would be VERY unhappy. What's your mother’s maiden name? M. How many people do you know with the same first name as you? One, personally. Are you related to a Johanna? No. Have you ever hugged an Eric? Probably. Have you ever ridden in a car with a Brooke? I don't think so. Have you ever kissed a Jesse? No. Have you ever worked with a Heather? Yes. Have you ever dated a Ryan? No, but I hooked up with one. Which of your friends would be most likely to become a stripper? I'm already friends with strippers and ex-strippers. How long has it been since you showered? Yesterday. Where did you or do you go to high school? In my hometown. What's the nearest red object to you? Part of the hamburger bun package next to me on the table. Do you have a birthmark and if so, where? I don't. Who was the last person to let you down? Myself. When was the last time someone gave you flowers? Valentine's Day. Would you ever consider getting back together with an ex? No thankssss. Do you like it when someone takes you by surprise and kisses you? If it's Justin. Can you name a movie that makes you cry? Green Mile. What's your natural hair color? Brown. Do you sleep naked? Rarely. Is smoking a turn-off when it comes to being interested in someone? Nope. Have you ever dated someone who had kids? Yes, but they were my own kids haha What was the last book you read? I'm reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix to the boys. Have you kissed someone four or more years older than you? Yes. How about younger? Not 4 years younger, but yes, younger. Were your parents married when you were born? Yes, they got married while my mom was pregnant with me. Were you born before 1990? Yes. Is your hair longer than your shoulders? No. Why did you miss the last call you missed? I ignored it. Have you ever been pulled over twice in one day? No. When you need to vent, who do you turn to? Usually Justin. When was the last time you went to the movies with someone? UGH IT'S BEEN SO LOOOOONG. Are you comfortable in your own skin? Sometimes. Have you ever been told you’re a flirt? Yes. Are there any candles in the room with you? No. Does the last person you kissed have tattoos? Yes. Do you live within twenty miles of where you were born? Yes. Is it after five PM? Not quite. Is there someone you always call or text when you’re drunk? I don't drink anymore. Have you ever been engaged? Yes. Has anyone seen you naked in the last week? Yes. Were you dating anyone in October 2008? No. Where was your current profile picture taken? My room. Is your birthday in April? Nope. Are you a Libra? Nope. If you found twenty dollars, what would you spend it on? Cigarettes, probably. What's your favorite holiday? Fourth of July. Do you believe the saying that experience is the best teacher? Sure. When you’re at home with nothing to do, do you typically find yourself walking around or sitting about randomly wearing different clothing throughout the day, or do you usually stick to one outfit? Usually just one outfit unless the weather changes midday, as it wont to do in Texas. When at home with nothing to do, do you wear socks? No. When at home with nothing to do, do you typically spend your time in bed, on the couch in your living room, sitting in the kitchen or at your desk, or do you go between them all or some other variation? Bed, usually. What're things that you commonly do when you’re bored and can’t go out for whatever reason? Play video or phone games, watch Netflix. Do you watch TV when at home with nothing else to do, or do you spend most of your time reading? Both. What do you usually watch? Whatever I'm currently binging or maybe a couple movies. Depends on my mood. Do you wear socks to bed? No. What do you hate or love about jeans and sweatpants? I like how comfy they are, but there's like 8 months of the year I don't get to wear them bc it's hot af. How and in what situations do you usually wear them? Idfk, jesus. What about underwear? What about them?? What type of underwear do you prefer? Boy-cut. Is daytime television really starting to get to you and if so, why or are you addicted to it? No. You’re at home a lot when you’re not at school or working, aren’t you? Not really. What clothing do you sleep in? Usually just a shirt and undies. Is your bed actually a bed? Yes?? Do you prefer other sleeping arrangements rather than the usual bed and if so, why? No. Is your room a mess constantly and if so, why? Yes, because I'm lazy lol Is your new clothing constantly getting ragged and worn-out during short periods of time and you’re not sure why? Nope. How often do you shower? Every day or every other day. Do you wear a lot of make-up, some make-up or no make-up? Some. What’s your favorite make-up? Eyeshadow and mascara. Could you go out in public without make-up? Yes, but I don't too often. Do you do your nails often? No. What color are your fingernails? There's some tiny pieces of chipped charcoal gray polish lol How about your toenails? Charcoal gray, not chipped, bc for some reason it lasts forever on toenails lol Heels or flats? Flats Eyeliner or mascara? Mascara. Lip gloss or lipstick? Lipstick. Eyelash curler or tweezers? Tweezers. Vans or Converse? Converse. Nike or Adidas? Neither. What color are your socks? I'm not wearing any. What color's your bra? I'm not wearing that either. Are you wearing skinny jeans? No, leggings. Do you think you set or follow trends? Follow, I suppose. Have you ever done something just to fit in? When I was younger. Do you go to the mall often? God no. Do you have many friends? Sure. Do you dislike any of your friends? No. What’s your best friend ever's name? Justin, Kelsi, Krystle. Have you ever had a down moment with that person? Yes. What's your most memorable moment with that person? Idk. Who was your most recent missed call from? An unknown one. Who was the last person you called? My mother. What does your fifth message in your inbox say? My texts aren't done like that. Who was it from? -- Are you single or taken? I'm in a relationship. If you're taken, by who? I'm with Justin. What color are your eyes? Dark brown. What’s your favorite color? Grey. What song are you listening to right now? Whatever is on the computer game my youngest is playing. Do you like to dance? Sometimes. Do you like to sing? Yes. Do you believe in love at first sight? No. How about true love? Yes. Do you believe in bros before hoes? Ugh. Are you a whore? Nope. Are most of your friends guys or girls? It's pretty even. What's your favorite candy? Trolli gummy worms, Reese's. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Rocky Road. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? Yes. Have you ever slept on your computer? Probably. What's the longest you’ve used your computer? Idk. What's your favorite smiley? Just the generic ones. Do you edit your profile often? No. Have you ever been in a fist fight? Not really. Do you want to? Nope. Have you ever thought about having sex? I mean, yeah. Have you ever babysat and if so, who? Yeah, lots of kids. Have you ever waited so long for something you wanted to happen so bad? Probably. Have you ever not been yourself to impress someone? In the past, sure. Have you ever done yourself up very pretty with so much make-up and a whole different outfit to make a guy like you? Not to "make" a guy like me, but maybe because I wanted to look pretty for someone. Have you ever betrayed someone? Yes. Water or soda? Water. Coke or Pepsi? Coke. Looking behind you, what’s there? My kids' dresser that I took out of their room five years ago bc they kept jumping off of it, and I just never put it back lol Have you ever been rejected or dumped? Sure. Have you ever thought about what school would be like if someone didn’t go there? No. Do you hate anyone? Nah. What’s your locker number? I don't have a locker. Do you have good hygiene? Yes. Have you ever danced in front of the mirror? Yes. Are you craving something? I'm already snacking on what I was craving, guacamole. If you could have one thing right now, what would it be? That lol Would you rather have ten kids or none? Omg, none lol Is your bed against more than one of your walls? No. What’s on your mind right now? This survey, the episode of Breaking Bad I'm watching, and my snack. Are you there for your friends? Yes. Who was the last person to see you cry? My kids and their dad. What do you do when you get nervous? Fidget. Do you like people in general? No. How old do you think you'll be when you finally have kids? I was 19 with my oldest, 22 with my youngest. Does anyone completely understand you? Sure. Would you be happier if life had a rewind button? No. Do you tell your mom or dad everything? No. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend or girlfriend smokes? It doesn't. Are you going to get hurt anytime soon by someone? I hope not... This time last year, can you remember who you loved? Yes, it's the same person I love now. Do you think more about the past, present or future? Future. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? Not enough at all. Are you easy to get along with? I like to think so. Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with? No, she's my best friend. What was the last drink that you put in your mouth? Water. What size bed do you have? Queen. Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in? Before, so I can adjust the temp before I get in Do you like the rain? I do, unless it's been raining nonstop, like it is now. Do you think someone's thinking about you right now? Meh. Have you ever been hurt by someone you never thought would hurt you? Yes. Your parents are out of town, so would you throw a massive party? I'm 32. Do you regret a past relationship? Nah. Would you rather spend a Friday night at a concert or a crazy party? Concert. Do you tend to fall for the same type of person over and over? No. What're you doing tomorrow? Hopefully sleeping in late, hanging out with Kelsi at some point. Have you ever fallen asleep on someone? Yes. How has the past week been for you? Not bad, actually. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Yes. What were you doing at midnight last night? Hanging out with Justin, watching Hunter x Hunter. What's your current mood? Good, slightly bored. Who was the first person you talked to today? My kiddos. Will this week be a good one? It's almost over, it's been decent. Did anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? Probably. Who were you with last night? Justin. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No. When's the next time you'll kiss someone? Next time I see Justin, which should be Saturday. Who should start the kiss, the girl or the boy? Jesus. Do you have any plans for the weekend? Hanging out with Kelsi tomorrow, hanging out with Needles, Justin, and Carly on Saturday.

#survey #surveys

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dylinski · 5 years ago

Note

do 1-100, coward

I AM NO COWARD

anyone who actually reads through all this, god bless you. you can blame leigh @thessaia, i give you full authority.

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

of those three, pandora. although, i prefer apple music.

2. is your room messy or clean?

LMFAO. CLEAN? I DON’T KNOW HER

3. what color are your eyes?

brown, but they’re lighter than that in the right light. almost a caramel with a dark chocolate ring on the outside.

4. do you like your name? why?

yeah, i don’t mind it. its always been there. lol i mean i used to have different nicknames or pretend to be other people. idk i told my parents when i was like five i was going to change my name to Felicia Franchesca Sarahmichelle Lynn. don’t ask. in fifth grade (before dylan o’brien was even famous) i begged my parents to call me dylan and refused to respond to any other name for like a year. also, don’t ask.

5. what is your relationship status?

single as dingle

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

CHAOTIC, SMARTASS, STABBY

7. what color hair do you have?

answered

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

kia forte, although my dad calls it an orte since the “f” is missing. funny story, i got pulled over and gave the dude my license and registration and shit but apparently, he didn’t look at it cause he put on the warning “orte” which i promptly laughed my ass off to. if he had given me a ticket i could have absolutely fought that bitch in court in won. SIR I DO NOT DRIVE AN ORTE. IS THAT ITALIAN? DO I LOOK LIKE I CAN AFFORD AN ITALIAN CAR? I DRIVE A FORTE SIR.

9. where do you shop?

ONLINE

10. how would you describe your style?

very idgaf

11. favorite social media account

tumblr

12. what size bed do you have?

full, it takes up my entire room so i couldn’t go bigger if i wanted to

13. any siblings?

answered

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

uk, always wanted to live there idk

15. favorite snapchat filter?

idk what its called but it has this higher temperature tone to it and gives me cute little freckles

16. favorite makeup brand(s)

i don’t wear make up, i used to use stilla (i think that’s how its spelled)

17. how many times a week do you shower?

i usually shower like every other day unless its hotter than a pair of saggy tits

18. favorite tv show?

that changes with the weather tbh. i can’t say i really have one. for a really long time it was supernatural though.

19. shoe size?

womans 11.5 (us) i think its a men’s 9?

20. how tall are you?

5′ 3″ or 160cm

21. sandals or sneakers?

sneakers. god i hate sandals.

22. do you go to the gym?

uh, no.

23. describe your dream date

answered

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

thats funny cause normally i don’t carry cash but i actually have $20 atm

25. what color socks are you wearing?

im not wearing any atm

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

answered x2

27. do you have a job? what do you do?

not technically? i’m an hourly temp but i hardly get any hours since i cover for the full-time employee.

28. how many friends do you have?

irl: 0 online: too many to count

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?

oh god, i honest to god have no fucking clue. i don’t think about this stuff. i’ve done some stupid ass shit but my short term and long term memory are both shot to tits.

30. whats your favorite candle scent?

i think i answered this one for a different ask game. i hate most fragrances and artificial smells, even non-artifical ones. i got a sensitive sniffer. im chill with like vanilla though if its not too intense.

31. 3 favorite boy names

Dylan (not even cause dylan i’ve just always liked the name idk why), Jeremy, Jacob (the other two are random)

32. 3 favorite girl names

i know these are random as fuck, but i’ve always liked them so shoot me.

Andromeda, Persephone, Franchesca

33. favorite actor?

i like a lot of actors, way too many to fucking name and remember off the top of my noggin. for sanity’s sake, we’ll say dylan.

34. favorite actress?

god, again way too many to count. i can’t even think of any right now even though i know i have some. lets say Emily Hampshire

35. who is your celebrity crush?

answered36. favorite movie?

answered37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

i would love to read but my adhd makes it really hard to concentrate. i’ll have periods of time where i’ll read a bunch its insane and then i’ll just kind of stop for a while idk. i always loved because of win-dixie or a wrinkle in time, bridge to terabithia, and american assassin.

38. money or brains?

brains, then you can work for the money and you know shit

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?

sawahbwear, sassafras, whiskey, sar

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

good lord, i don’t even know. way too many. definitely more than ten.

41. top 10 favorite songs

answered42. do you take any medications daily?

not anymore, i kept forgetting to take them so it fucked me up not being on a regular dosage so i just stopped taking all of them.

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

see, im weird af. cause like my skin is oily af, but also fucking dry and i have shitty eczema 44. what is your biggest fear?

answered45. how many kids do you want?

idfk. i mean for as long as i can remember i always wanted them, but tbh idk if im the type of person to have any…

46. whats your go to hair style?

messy bun

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

small, row house

48. who is your role model?

dont have one.

49. what was the last compliment you received?

probably from michelle i think, or alaina. idk i don’t keep track. unless you consider kiana calling me insane a compliment. 🤷‍♀️

50. what was the last text you sent?

“thankies”

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

tbh, i don’t think i ever thought he was real…pretty sure i could put in time out in preschool for making a kid cry cause i told them leprechauns weren’t real either.

52. what is your dream car?

mustang or challenger

53. opinion on smoking?

conflicted

54. do you go to college?

disappointingly

55. what is your dream job?

no clue

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

rural, but still close enough to shit it doesn’t take me an hour to go places.

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

haven't been to a hotel in a long ass time. i do but i never use them.. FREE SHIT

58. do you have freckles?

yeah, but you can’t see them unless i’ve been outside in the sun all day for hours.

59. do you smile for pictures?

relatively

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?

5604

61. have you ever peed in the woods?

yup, and in a parking lot, and in public.🤙

62. do you still watch cartoons?

i hardly watch tv anymore, but if i did, fuCK YEAH

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

WNEDYS ALL DAY ERRY DAY THE RED HEADED BITCH IS MY HOE OKAY

64. Favorite dipping sauce?

ew, no.

65. what do you wear to bed?

tshirt

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?

answered

67. what are your hobbies?

writing, coding, listening to music??, reading

68. can you draw?

NOPE

69. do you play an instrument?

also no

70. what was the last concert you saw?

like two years ago, circa survive with thrice and a third band idr

71. tea or coffee?

neither

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

neither

73. do you want to get married?

idk

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

idk, part of me wants to but most of me doesnt want to

76. what color looks best on you?

i look good in all colors except white.

77. do you miss anyone right now?

yeah

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed cause i still live at home 😖 but if i didnt probably open so my cat could come and go as he pleased

79. do you believe in ghosts?

ghosts, no. spirits, yes.

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?

answered

81. last person you called

my dad

82. favorite ice cream flavor?

mint choco chip

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?

damn, regular.

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

RAINBOW BITCHES

85. what shirt are you wearing?

supernatural. dean and sam with baby

86. what is your phone background?

mitch rapp

87. are you outgoing or shy?

im an ambivert

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?

FUCKING YES

89. do you like your neighbors?

the ones on the right are bearable and the ones on the left can fuck off with their insane semen demons

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

neither, but i should.

91. have you ever been high?

nope

92. have you ever been drunk?

answered

93. last thing you ate?

hot dog

94. favorite lyrics right now

answered

95. summer or winter?

fall

96. day or night?

night

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?

dark

98. favorite month?

umm, august? idk

99. what is your zodiac sign

aquarius

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

i don’t remember, it’s been a really long time since i cried in front of someone.

#thessaia #ask games #BET YOU THOUGHT I WOULDNT #HA #BITE ME #YOUR BITCH ASS BETTER READ EVERY DAMN ONE CAUSE THIS SHIT TOOK ME LIKE A GODDAMN HOUR

22 notes · View notes

golbrocklovely · 5 years ago

Text

the chosen daughter // colby brock - chapter four

A/N: hey yall! life update: i have a job now! it’s part time, thank god, and so far i don’t completely hate it, which is good. hopefully it won’t get too hectic, but we shall see. anyway, i hope you are liking this series so far. let me know what you think about it. also lmk if you want to be added to the taglist. hope you enjoy this chapter. alrighty, i’ll see yall later :)

story description

taglist: @far-to-many-bands , @idfk-tbh-oops , @muted-mayham , @ughwhyislifesohard , @justtanerd , @ashyoungxblood , @cmburgos

trigger warning: cursing, being hunted??, mentions of killing/murder

word count: 1693

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My apartment had been trashed, everything torn up and thrown all over the place. Sam stayed with me for two hours, scoping it out and making sure everything was back in its place.

Nothing of mines was taken. It just looked like someone broke in to make a mess and leave.

Sam believed it was vamp. I wasn’t sure what to think.

After barely getting any sleep, I wasn’t too excited to go to work. But at least I would be surrounded by people and not by myself, left alone to think of what could have broken in.

I filled Ronnie in on some of my crazy adventures from the past two-ish days.

“How is it you have all the fun on your days off?” Ronnie whined, cleaning a glass.

I scoffed. “I highly doubt getting almost killed by a vampire, and then having one break into my place ‘fun’, Ronnie.”

“At least it’s more interesting than me laying around and watching Real Housewives.” She joked. “So, all of these guys work at Trapp Haus and that’s how you met them?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Got my own connection which is how I was able to skip the line that usually wraps around the whole block.”

“I swear I’ve never heard of any of them before. Are they all bartenders or something?” She asked, starting a new order.

“Um, I think some of them are.” I lied. “One or two might work in the business side of the place, since they’re vamps.”

“I’ll have to go there next human night. Colby sounds pretty hot.” Ronnie smirked.

“I mean he is, but he’s kinda a dick.” I huffed.

“Well, all the hot ones are. Besides, he does have a soft side: he did save you.”

“I guess so…”

The night moved slowly, not too many patrons on a Sunday-Monday evening. I was so happy to finally have my break, being able to step outside and get some fresh air.

I took a deep breath as I looked up into the night sky.

What the fuck had my life turn into?

I shook my head, leaning my back against the brick wall of the bar. I stared into the parking lot, my eyes fixating on the dark. Through the trees that surrounded the lot, I saw the outline of a man.

I squinted my eyes, trying to see if I was seeing things. The figured disappeared as I blinked. I relaxed a little, annoyed at my own paranoia.

Maybe I am going crazy…

I stood up and went to walk back in. As I went to open the door, I heard a low growl come from behind me.

The hair on the back of my neck shot up. I could feel a presence behind me. I didn’t want to turn around, but I knew I had to. I twisted around slowly, my heartbeat speeding up faster and faster.

Nothing was behind me.

I looked around, my anxiety still at its peak. I knew I heard something; but nothing, no one, was there.

I spun back around. A man stood in front of the door. All I could see of him was his glowing red eyes and shiny fangs. He jumped forward with his hands reaching for my neck. A scream ripped from my throat.

I fell to the ground with a loud thump. He was no longer around me, I was alone once again. I scrambled back onto my feet, glancing hastily at the parking lot. I heard a dark chuckle come from the darkness. My eyes widen as I yanked the door opened and slammed it shut, locking it tight. I leaned my back against the door, trying to catch my breath.

He reminded me of someone, but I couldn’t think of who.

I ran to Roger’s office, needing an answer. There was a drawer in his desk, where all the receipts were kept from every night. Roger was very meticulous about it. I grabbed the folder from the previous night I worked. I flipped through all of them until I landed on the one I knew it had to be.

Cyrus Gladstone.

He was Blondie’s… Jasper’s… friend. He knew.

Jasper was dead. And he knew I was the one that got him killed.

Fuck.

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, dialing the only number I knew could help me.

“Sam… I need you again.”

~ \/ \/ ~

"How many tips did you make tonight?" I asked, counting out mine again.

Ronnie sighed. "About $20. You?"

"$35." I muttered.

"Ugh, that's not fair. I swear, your blood must smell like a fucking bakery with how many tips you get." She laughed.

"Ain't I lucky." I hissed jokingly.

The door to the bar rang open. Both Ronnie and I sighed. "Sorry, we're closed."

"I'm not here for a drink." A deep voice replied, stepping around the corner.

I turned to face the voice and realized who it was. "Colby..."

"That's Colby?" Ronnie exclaimed quietly. She leaned closer to my ear. "Holy shit he's hot."

"Shhh." I elbowed her lightly, turning back to Colby. "Uh, hey. Are you here to escort me home?"

"Actually, I'm taking you back to our place.” He informed, his hands sliding into his pockets.

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Oh? Okay."

"I'll see you later, Jade. Have fun." Ronnie mumbled, smirking at me and walking to the back to grab her stuff.

"Uh, let's head out." I nodded my head at Colby, slinging my bag over me.

As we walked into the parking lot, Colby stopped me. "Are we really gonna take your car to the club? It's only a couple blocks down."

I scoffed. "I'm sorry... what do you expect me to do? I can't leave my car here."

"Running would be faster." He stated.

"If I was also a vampire." I fumed.

Colby growled, his fangs prominent. "I could turn you into one."

"Shut up and just get in my car." I retorted.

I opened my car door and slid into the seat. Colby stood in the parking lot, glaring at me.

"Are you getting in or not?" I huffed.

He didn't respond.

Who pissed in his Cheerios today?

I rolled my eyes, driving away. "Whatever. I'll meet you back at the Trapp Haus."

I glanced at my rear view mirror, seeing Colby was already gone. I drove, the streets being close to empty since it was so late. I finally got to the Trapp Haus, pulling into the parking lot. Colby had his back rested against the entrance, scrolling through his phone.

I alarmed my car and strolled up to him. "Why exactly am I here?"

"Sam wanted to talk with me and you. That's all he's told me." He remarked. I followed him up the apartment. Walking in, Sam sat on one of the couches, looking up at us.

"Oh good, I was wondering when you were getting here." Sam spoke, smiling.

"So... what do you gotta tell us?" Colby asked.

"Well, I think we have all concluded that Cyrus is after you because of Jasper's death.” Sam admitted.

I nodded my head. “Yeah.”

“He's most likely the person that broke into your apartment. He's trying to get inside your head. Make you feel uncomfortable and nervous.” Sam responded, stepping towards us.

“So, he's playing with his food?” Colby smirked.

Sam and I both glared at him. “Colby... really?”

His lips folded into a tight line. “Sorry.”

Sam sighed. “Anyway, because of this, I want you to stay here until we can hunt him down and kill him.”

“What?” Colby questioned, his arms crossing.

“Dude, let's be honest here. She's not safe. And unless you want to stand guard at her place until he comes a-knocking, it would just be better if she was here.” Sam argued, turning to Colby.

“No, it wouldn't.” Colby grabbed Sam’s arm, pulling him away from me. “Don't you think we've done enough?”

“How?” Sam inquired.

“How are we gonna find where he is? Unless he's living in LA, which may not be the case, he could be anywhere. Are you expecting me to run around the whole fucking city looking for him?” Colby ranted, his voice deep.

Sam scoffed. “What else are we supposed to do? Leave Jade for dead?”

“Yes! We've already done enough. We’ve never gone this far for someone unless they're family. And she's not.”

My heart dropped as Colby's eyes landed on me. They were cold. Unfriendly.

“We can't leave her now. I won't leave her now.” Sam objected.

“We don't even know if he's hunting her. He could just be dicking around.” Colby hissed.

“Or he could be hunting her. We don't know Jasper and Cyrus’ relationship. If someone killed me, you would hunt them down.” Sam stated.

Colby paused for a second, rolling his eyes. “Fine. But how long is she gonna be here?”

“Until you find out where he is.” Sam smirked.

Colby groaned. “Do you wanna give me a clue as to where he could be?”

“Mike talked to a couple of his buddies on the south side. Apparently that where he likes to hang out at. So, snoop around, see what comes up.” Sam replied. He then turned to me. “Jade?”

I cleared my throat. “Yeah?”

“You're gonna sleep in my room until this is all sorted out.” He explained.

I stammered. “No. I can sleep-”

Sam cut me off. “I insist. Besides, it won't be the first time I've fallen asleep on the couch. I'm gonna go get you some clothes to change into. Tomorrow I'll head over with you to your place and we'll pick up some of your stuff.”

I smiled lightly. “Okay.”

Sam left to go into his room. I stared at Colby as he sat down on the couch, sighing deeply.

I stepped over to him, staying a few feet away.

He finally glanced up at me. "What?"

"You really hate me that much." I knew it was true.

My eyes never left his. He just looked at me with an almost sad glimmer.

"Jade?" Sam called.

"Coming." I answered, turning my head away from Colby.

<< CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 5 >>

#colby brock #sam golbach #sam and colby #colby brock fanfiction #colby brock angst #colby brock fic #colby brock fanfic #colby brock vampire #colby brock x oc #vampire #the chosen daughter #colby brock story

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mathewmurdocks · 5 years ago

Text

Tag Game: Dig a Little Deeper

tagged by @impractical-matters 🥰

do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? black pen

would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? this is hard. i really like both. they have significantly different feels but i love both of them.

if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? god, i could list a shit ton

do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? sweeeeeet teaaaaaa

what was your favorite book as a child? because of winn-dixie

do you prefer baths or showers? showers

if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? bro, idfk. i wanted to be a mermaid forever, but maybe like a sorcerer or some shit idk.

paper or electronic books? certain books need to be paper, but electronic is more convenient.

what is your favorite item of clothing? sweatshirt

do you like your name? yeah, its fine lol would you like to change it? i used to when i was younger but its just a name i guess. i wouldn’t even know what to change it to.

who is a mentor to you? idk, i’ve had people help me in my life but never one person over a long period of time. can i say myself? idk if that makes sense but it’s my answer.

would you like to be famous? yes and no. i always wanted to be an actor and/or writer but never the celebrity side of it. just known so that my work is known and appreciated.

are you a restless sleeper? Y E S. i have stories...insane ones. who the fuck moves the whole ass bed or punches the wall in their sleep? ME wtf

do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? i can be, but it’s not a constant state

which element best represents you? sometimes i’m water and sometimes i’m fire which is actually pretty accurate considering the walking paradox i am

who do you want to be closer to? plenty of people. well, i guess everyone cause im not entirely close with anyone. no one really knows me or wants to know me. might be my fault, might not. idk

do you miss someone at the moment? my grandparents and i always have this nagging feeling like im missing someone but i don’t know who they are.

tell us about an early childhood memory. pretending to fall asleep on a car ride home so my dad would carry me inside and to my bed while holding onto my special blanket with my name on it.

what is the strangest thing you have eaten? idfk. maybe sand or dirt? im a pretty picky eater so i don’t try a lot of things.

what are you most thankful for? that i have things others don’t and may never get. i have food, clothes, a home, and other luxuries some people can’t afford.

do you like spicy food? N O

have you ever met someone famous? yeah, but nobody too famous. i met a bunch of rock/screamo bands (bless the fall, bmth, mayday parade, we the kings, 3OH!3, we came as romans, of mice and men, crown the empire, the devil wears prada-a couple of the band memebers actually took me to their merch tent and gave me water when i almost passed out from a heat stroke-, pierce the veil, echosmith, a couple others but i can’t recall), some popular christian artists, luke benward, ezra miller, and shailene woodley. i feel like i’ve met others but can’t think of them 🤷🏻‍♀️

do you keep a diary or journal? i used to. i had accumulated like 100 over the years and i still have some of them. i don’t write in one anymore, but sometimes if i’ll vent by writing a note in my phone or something just so i can release somehow.

do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pen

what is your star sign? aquaruis

do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? crunchy

what would you want your legacy to be? that i was a good person who tried and cared

do you like reading? yes, but its really hard with my adhd

how do you show someone you love them? acts. i do things for them by going above and beyond.

do you like ice in your drinks? only at restaurants or fountain drinks

what are you afraid of? being alone and unwanted

what is your favorite scent? idk, but i don’t like strong or floral scents. anything calm and natural

do you address older people by their name or surname? depends on who they are. the older i get the less i do it i think

if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? i would live simply and comfortably. nothing too extravagant. i mean, there are some things i would go all out on, like a car but having a home thats nice and big enough for me, not like a mansion or anything. i’d love to travel too, but not site see but to live in a place for like a year or two and experience it.

do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? ocean

what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? unless i knew or saw who dropped it, just pocket it cause what else are you gonna do?

have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? yes and yes

what is one thing you would want to teach your children? to be accepting and open minded.

if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i already have some and want a bunch more

what can you hear now? music from my headphone in my left ear and my mom typing on her computer in my right ear

where do you feel the safest? in my room with music in my headphones when its dark

what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? my depression, anxiety, paranoia, and dependency on others.

if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? roman empire

what is your most used emoji? 😂

describe yourself using one word. paradox

what do you regret the most? i don’t know if i really have any significant regrets. anything worth regretting would change who i am and i like who i am for the most part.

last movie you saw? spenser confidential

last tv show you watched? hunters. wait, thats a lie. the librarians but im rewatching it with my mom

invent a word and its meaning. uhm, idk. i’ve done this before but i can’t remember any of them.

if you wanna do this feel free!

#tag games

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liquid-geodes · 5 years ago

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9, 10, 13, 18, 19, 35, 39, 40, 42, 49, purple, fushsia, aqua, beige, coral, grey, emerald, mauve, frost, honey, blood, plum, mint, chestnut, burgundy, platinum. Sorry if it's too much

I actually love having this many to answer please send many more I like the attention-

9: What are you really bad at?

I'm pretty bad at starting conversations tbh. Like I'll really want to talk to someone but I wont because I'm so afraid I'm bothering them too much or interrupting something important so I just kinda... wait for them to message me when its convenient for them and get really excited for no reason-

I'm so fucking bad about that-

10: What talent do you wish you had?

I wish I could draw better, thatd be a neat talent

13: Things you like/dislike about yourself

That's a long list of things I hate and a nonexistent list of things I like friend-

Idk sometimes I like my eyes, but that's only because someone complimented me exactly one time and I never let it go-

I dislike the person I've become after some of the things I've been through in life. But I know I can change into someone better and hopefully then I'll enjoy being who I am.

18: A reason you’ve lied to someone

To keep myself safe. Other than that I try not to lie, just when the situation is genuinely life threatening, but there hasnt been any of those since I was little

19: Are you lying about anything right now?

I dont like lying to people, nothing good comes of it. The truth always comes out in the end, why make things worse by trying to delay it?

35: What is your definition of cheating?

When you look over at the person next to you's paper and-

When you're in a relationship with someone and you're hooking up with someone else without their knowledge or consent. Flirting with someone else is really situational because like I know people who flirt with their close friends as a joke, I dont like doing that so you can see how to some people that might not be cheating while to others it may feel like it. It's a whole messy concept when I try to put it in words-

39: How often do you listen to music?

Every night. I sleep with earbuds in

40: First concert you attended

None 😔

42: Favorite type of movie

Probably horror movies ironically enough

49: Where’s the most magical place on earth?

Yall ever seen the deep sea? Shit is MAJESTIC

purple: a poem you think describes your closest friend

"Blast Off" by Lee Bennett Hopkins

fuchsia: favorite land animal?

God I don't think about land animals that much-

I like cats though-

aqua: do you thrift?

My favorite suspenders came from the thrift store

beige: have any pets? what're their names?

I have a cat named Cleo and a cat named Dude

coral: an animal you wish hadn't gone extinct

All of them :(

grey: how many languages do you speak? do you want to learn any more?

I do well enough just speaking English-

But I did try learning German for a while

emerald: if you had the option, would you choose to move and live in another country? which one?

I'd be out of this shit hole so god damn fast-

Idfk where I'd go, just not here

mauve: any unpopular opinions?

I'm pretty sure I have a lot of them, but because they are mine I choose to treat them as popular in the eyes of the me

frost: a -core you enjoy

Space core-

honey: your thoughts on magic- does it exist?

God I sure hope it does

blood: twin beds, queen, or king?

I have a full sized bed and it's pretty perfect for me since I just curl up in the corner against the wall

Though I wouldnt mind a Queen for more giant stuffed animals-

Maybe a nice boy to cuddle with 👉👈

I'm kidding I'm kidding... unless?

plum: a food you've never tried

Theres a lot of foods I refuse to try dude-

mint: favourite flavour of gum?

Ironically I like mint gum

Especially if I have a cold drink because then I can make the cold spice thing happen

chestnut: type of phone you have

I have an android who has lived longer than it probably should have

It wants to die

burgundy: ever ridden a motorcycle?

Nope-

Do not plan on it either-

platinum: do you follow politics?

I really try not to-

#link's asks

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kianraidelcam · 6 years ago

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Day #2 for @whumptopia‘s 30 Day RoboWhump challenge that @anonymous-idfk tagged me in! Today’s prompt is “Voice Modulator Damage” and I had lots of fun! Full fic under the cut as per usual.

The metal bat connecting with his throat should not have surprised him, but somehow, it did.

If Connor was human, the collision would have collapsed his trachea, broken several cervical vertebrae, and restricted blood flow to his brain. Death would have been inevitable, occuring in a couple of minutes, if not seconds. As it was, his ventilation components went temporarily offline, the synthetic skin flickered away, and his plastisteel chassis caved in slightly, thirium leaking from a small tear. He dismisses the damage alerts with a grimace as he falls, hand catching the bat as it descends on him again.

With inhuman strength, he rips the weapon out of the human suspect’s hands, swiping his legs out from under him as he does before forcing the man on his stomach, handcuffs already free from his belt. By the time Lieutenant Anderson rounds the corner, Connor is yanking the man to his feet, one hand rubbing at his throat as he does so. Blue eyes widen as he observes the damage to the android’s neck and Connor adds two new expressions to his databanks as Hank grabs the suspect and shoves him into Officer Miller’s patrol car, cursing the entire walk. “Fucking hell, Connor! I told you not to run off without me- hey, fuck off with that kicking shit asshole before I add ‘damaging government property’ to your charges,” Hank slams Chris’ door shut, nodding at the younger officer before returning his attention to Connor, “Christ…you okay, kid?”

He nods, opening his mouth to respond but Hank beats him to it while ushering him to the car, muttering something about “crazy, self-sacrificing terminators” and “getting you a fucking leash.”

“W̸̛h̸͢͟e̢͜r҉̧e͝͏̸̧͠ ̷̧͞͞a̴̧r͞e̸̴̶͘ ̨̨͢w̷̷͘͠e͜͢͠e̶̵̵͏ȩ͞ee͏̶̸ ̷͘g̸͡ơ̴͜i̵͘͢͜n̸͟͜g͜?͝͝”

Hank bangs his head on the door as he slides into the car while Connor flinches, grabbing at his burning throat as the static rips from his voice modulator. Connor’s gaze becomes unfocused as he runs a diagnostic as Hank simultaneously slams his door shut, heart rate elevated. “The fuck was that, Con?”

The android frowns as he reads the report, swallowing against the lingering discomfort from his damaged voice modulator, “I̴̡͞t ̸҉it̷ i͜ţ͜ ͡i̡͡t͜ ̡w̕͞ou͞l̢̛d̡͟͠ ̕a̕p͜͠p̕ęa̢͝r̢ th͏a̧͘t͢ ̵͢m̢y͝ v̴ơi̢͟c̨͜͜e̡͘͜ ͜͡m̶̛͢od̶͏ula̸̕t͜or ̴̛i͟s͜ dam͟a̷͡͞g͘e̢͡͡e̵e̵e͡e̸d.”

Hank winces as the static feedback reaches his ears while Connor rubs his throat, scowling as the modulator sparks and hiccups inside of his chassis, “Sounds like it hurts.”

“Į̴͞t͟ is̡ ̶͟i͘͠s̷͟ ̢i̢͢s͟ ̸̶s̷i̧͟͜m̷̧p̕͝ly̨y̷yy͏ ̶̡̛u̷͞nc̶o̸̢mf̛ort͜a̷͟b̕l̡̛e̴̵,̕ Ļ̷̶i̸͏̨e҉̴̕u̷t͘͟e̢͟n̶̕a͘n̵̵̶ţ.̧̨ And͜r̨oid͏̛s̵̨ ̵d̢͞o̸̡n̕͜͠'̸̨t f̶̴e͡e̸͜e̢̧͞e͟͠e̢͠͡eee̶͡e̶̵̸el ̧͞p͟a̢į̵͡n͠.̶͏͝”

Hank waves a dismissive hand, rolling his eyes despite the ringing in his ears from the shrill, metallic screech, “Yeah, that’s why you keep rubbing your throat, huh? And to answer your earlier question, we’re going to New Jericho to get you fixed up. Don’t think my toolbox is gonna cover that . You ain’t going to shutdown on me before then, right?”

“T̨͞he̡e̡͜͟e ͡d̶̸am̴̕aģe̕҉̷ ̷̶i͘͢͠s mi͢҉n̛ǫ̸ŗ̶͞,̨ H̢a̕n̴k͡. I̢'̷͢l̕l̸̨̡ ͏be̕ ̡͘͜f͏i̷̢̧i͟i̶i̶͠į͟n̵͏ę ̛u̴͞n͘͠t͠i̧͏l ̴͟t͏͘he̡͝҉n̡̨n͘͜͡n̴n̸̡.,” Connor forces his LED to switch from red to yellow after the flare of discomfort.

“Yeah, well, you better call Simon and let him know we’re coming. Unless your voice sounds like dial-up in your head, too,” Hank drags a hand down his face as he drives, a headache already forming behind his eyes.

Connor refrains from vocally answering, deigning to instead reach out to New Jericho’s head technician.

{CONNECTION ESTABLISHED: PL600 - Simon}

{PLJ00: Hello, Connor. Is everything alright?}

Despite his situation, Connor smirks as his friend answers immediately, straight to the point as per usual. Like himself, Simon tended to be succinct, preferring frankness to small talk.

It did not mean they didn’t like teasing each other for it, however.

{RK800: Maybe I just wanted to chat, Simon. Why does something have to be wrong?}

{PL600: Because it’s you.}

If he closes his eyes, Connor can imagine Simon crossing his arms with a hint of a smile, both amused and annoyed by his antics.

{RK800: Fair point. Biocomponent #2210c has been damaged and I require either repairs or replacement. Odds are favoring the possibility of replacement at this time.}

Sighs don’t carry across cybernetic communication links, but Connor imagines it nonetheless.

{PL600: You do realize we don’t have a lot of spare parts compatible with your model, right? I’ll see what I can find before you get here but I have no guarantees. Please try to refrain from talking until you arrive and I can take a good look at your throat. Is there any other damage I should know about?}

{RK800: There is a slight thirium leak and my chassis has been dented.}

{PL600: I’ll be waiting. You know where to go.}

{RK800: Thank you, Simon.}

{CONNECTION ENDED}

“You know it’s really fucking creepy when you do that, right? It’s like you completely zone out,” Hank glances at Connor as he finishes, “You sure it doesn’t hurt? You keep rubbing at your throat.”

“I'̛l̸l҉ ͠ad҉m̢i͢t ͢t̵he ̢se̢n͡-sen-s̵eņs҉ati̛o͡n ̸i҉s҉ un-p̷le̢-͟pl̶e͠as͜a͢nt͢,” a hiccup steals his voice away before he can continue talking, and Connor’s analysis program kicks in, informing him of the smoke in his mouth.

{WARNING: BIOCOMPONENT #2210c DAMAGED - OVERCLOCK}

{PLEASE REPORT TO CYBERLIFE FOR REPAIRS}

{SHUTDOWN BIOCOMPONENT #2210c (y/n)?}

{y}

{ERROR: UNABLE TO INITIATE SHUTDOWN OF BIOCOMPONENT #2210c}

{PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER}

Hank curses as smoke filters from Connor’s mouth, his LED glowing a startled scarlet, “I thought you said the damage was fucking minor .”

“M̸͜͠y m͟y҉̛͝ ̡̨my͝҉ ̧my̨ ̷m͢͠y͘ ̨̕̕m̢̛y ͞v͝v̧v҉v̛v҉o͜i͢͟c̡e̷ee̡ mod̡-m̴͠od̕͝u҉l҉͝a̡̛t̸̷͡or̨͘͞-̨tor̶ ̧̨͠is͢ ͡͠o҉͘vv̡v̸҉v̷̷e͢͡r͡c̷̢̨l̨o̵͟ooo͜cke͠d̴͢ ̵̨͡a̢͠ņ̸̶ņ̕d͞ ̧͝Į͢͜ ̶͟͝ç̴͜an͜'̷̶t͘ ҉̵ş͞hư̸u̧u͠ų͝t̸ i̕t ̶d͢͞oo͡o̕͡o̴̷̧w̴̵͝n,” Connor’s following wince is both metallic and hoarse, and Lieutenant Anderson’s cursing intensifies.

“Well stop fucking talking, dumbass, and keep your mouth shut. We’re almost there and I don’t wanna to get smoked out before we get there,” Hank’s voice is harsh, although worry lines his face, coming off him in palpable waves.

“Y͞͡e̶̢͜͞s̕͟͠͝͞,̶̕͟͞͠ ͘͢L͠͡i͏͡e̸͡u̷̡t̢̛e͟͞n̷͟͜͠͝a̡͞n҉͡t͘͟.”

“The fuck did I just say,” Connor grasps at his throat, hoping that the physical pressure could ease the extreme discomfort and burning that stole his breath away, and Hank pushes harder on the gas, “We’re almost there, Con. Just hang on a bit longer for me, okay?”

{WARNING: BICOMPONENT #2210c DAMAGED - OVERCLOCK}

{WARNING: STRESS LEVELS ^56%}

“H͘͘u͡u̴̧͘u̡͡rt҉̕s͏.”

“I know, Con. Can you go into stasis or whatever it is you do? Don’t want you writhing in pain if you don’t have to,” he winces at the harsh, computerized whine as Connor shakes his head no, “”Well shit. Try getting Simon back on, see if he can help from here. We’re still…10 minutes away.”

{CONNECTION ESTABLISHED: PL600 - Simon}

{PL600: Connor? Is everything okay?}

{RK800: It hurts, Simon. My voice modulator is overclocked and I can’t shut it down and my stress levels are rising.}

{PL600: Is there any smoke?}

{RK800: Yes.}

{PL600: Shit. I’m going to call Lieutenant Anderson’s phone, I’m going to have to guide him in removing the biocomponent so you don’t overheat. Have him pull over and send me your location, I’m on my way.}

{CONNECTION ENDED}

“P̢̨̡͘u̴͝u̵̷̴͝͡u̧͏͟u҉҉ļ̢̛l̴̨͘ ̛͠o̢͟-͠o̴͟҉͝-̕͜o͘͡-̛҉ơ̶̕͞͡-̶̨͝͡o̵̡͜͠v̢͏̴̛e̸̕͡r̵̡͢,” is all he can manage before his stuttering modulator ends with a sharp whine, and Hank complies without question.

The phone resting in the Lieutenant’s pocket rings, and Hank answers with no preamble. If Simon was succinct, Hank was blunt, and when the pair collided, they made an interestingly efficient team, “What do I do, Simon?”

“Lay him down by the side of the road, you’re going to have to remove his voice modulator,” Simon’s voice carries over the speaker and Connor is already opening his door at the PL600’s words, sliding into a sitting position while leaning against the car.

He hears the car door slam, feels the vibrations from the jolt, and flinches at the extra stimuli grating on his already frayed nerves. “I’m going to have to do fucking what now?”

“Remove his voice modulator, Lieutenant. I assure you, it’s much simpler than it sounds,” Connor blinks, then opens his eyes to see Hank already crouched in front of him, the phone laying on the ground next to him.

“I’m not a goddamn technician, Simon, I can barely change the settings on my own phone,” Hank’s voice is rarely apprehensive, and Connor can’t help but think that it doesn’t quite suit the man.

“Hank. If his voice modulator stays in much longer, it can cause irreparable damage to the surrounding area, including the two main thirial lines. I’m only eight minutes away but you need to do this now.”

{WARNING: MAIN THIRIUM LINE COMPROMISED}

{WARNING: BICOMPONENT # 2210c DAMAGED - OVERCLOCKED}

Connor’s distress must show because Hank pauses before breathing deeply, “Okay, fuck, what do I do?”

“Press down hard on the middle of his throat and slide the panelling to the left. Connor mentioned it was damaged, so there might be some resistance. Don’t worry about making it worse, the plates are easy to fix.”

Hank presses firmly in the center of the damage and Connor tries to look him in the eyes as he does, doing anything he can to convey his confidence in the man. With a hiss and a click, the panel slides open, releasing thick, black smoke into the Lieutenant’s face. To his credit, Hank only barely flinches away, coughing as he peers through the haze into Connor’s inner mechanisms, “What am I looking for, Simon?”

“There is a small, black box, about an inch wide. Since it’s damaged, there should be a red light coming from it,” Simon’s voice is calm, steady, and it helps to soothe Connor’s nerves.

The RK800 recoils as fingers brush against the exposed wires of his voice modulator, something akin to itching overwhelming his sensors. Hank murmurs a soft apology, unusually gentle as he squeezes Connor’s shoulder, “How do I take it out?”

“Just give it a gentle pull and it should release from the port. There might be some tearing in the wires, but don’t worry about that. I’ll fix it all at New Jericho.”

He resists from flinching when Hank grabs the modulator, halting his breathing program to hold as still as possible while never taking his eyes off of him. Hank raises an eyebrow before straightening, “You ready, kiddo? I’m going to do it on three.”

“One.”

Connor digs his fingers into his jacket, running his hands across the fabric.

“Two.”

The hand on his shoulder squeezes tight and doesn’t let go.

“Three.”

{WARNING: BIOCOMPONENT #2210c REMOVED}

{PLEASE REPORT TO CYBERLIFE FOR ASSISTANCE}

When the part is removed, he gasps, or at least tries to, before sagging to the side as the pain abruptly disappears. Hank tosses the box with a yelp, grabbing the burn on his hand before catching the android before he can hit the ground.

There’s an overwhelming feeling of wrongness, of emptiness in his throat. There are exposed wires, thirium lines, and biocomponents and the paneling is too damaged to slide back. A slight slit in a minor thirium line still weakly oozes the blue liquid and warnings still flash across his vision, telling him to replace the biocomponent or report to CyberLife. Exhaustion floods his systems, making them sluggish and nearly unresponsive.

But the pain is finally gone and he couldn’t be more relieved.

{STRESS LEVELS v 30%}

{TEMPORARY STANDBY RECOMMENDED}

{WOULD YOU LIKE TO PROCEED (y/n)?}

“Is it out, Lieutenant,” Simon’s voice breaks through Connor’s haze, as does Hank’s hand lightly slapping his cheek.

“Yeah, it’s out. He looks pretty out of it though.”

“Good, that’s good. It means his stress levels have decreased and he’s no longer in any danger. Connor, if you can hear me, I need you to go into standby. You’ll be repaired by the time you wake up.

{WOULD YOU LIKE TO PROCEED (y/n)?}

Brown eyes blink owlishly as they study Hank, attempting to express his gratitude. When that seems to fail, the prototype android instead lifts his hands toward his mouth with a flat hand, touching his lips before moving it forward toward his work partner. Thank you. The human just grins and ruffles Connor’s hair, “You’re welcome, kid. Just go to sleep, Simon will be here soon and we’ll fix you up good. Maybe get you a less goofy voice.”

Connor smiles and closes his eyes, letting his head fall on Hank’s shoulder.

{WOULD YOU LIKE TO PROCEED (y/n)?}

{y}

{ENTERING STANDBY}

{3}

{2}

{1}

#30 day robowhump challenge #whumptopia #anonymous-idfk #dbh #detroit become human #dbh fanfic #fanfic #connor rk800 #connor #connor whump #hank anderson #simon dbh #simon #voice modulator damage #connor sounds like a dial up tone

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sludgesoup-archive · 6 years ago

Note

every odd one!!!! if you want

hooh ok !!!! this is going under a cut ! thank u for letting me talk abt myself

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?wait a minute by willow, monster by dodie, sanctuary by joji, something for your mind by superorganism, strawberry blonde by mitski, verbatim by mother mother

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.there r no books near me lel

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?just ‘non’ [from my sister]

7: What’s your strangest talent?i dont really have one of those ! i am strange but everything i know is a skill !

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?not that i know of ! my ex write poetry so that has me wondering.......

11: Do you have any strange phobias?no just . general fears. ok i am kinda scared something is down the drain in my bathroom

13: What’s your religion?aint got one !

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?i hoenstly dont know ! both :-p

17: What was the last lie you told?i would say it but im in the lounge and im afraid someone would read it :-x

19: What does your URL mean?i saved it when i was on the skewl bus and being crouchy but i like the aes of it

21: Who is your celebrity crush?rat nao ? very much david harbour

23: How do you vent your anger?j*** *** or minecraft :-)

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?i dont mind either ! its nervwrackign at first but its always fun

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?i dont like the sound of eating . luv the sound of rain

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?yes and yes

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?cheese . like burnt cheese. is somethign burning

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?im from aus so idk fucking. places. i dont really like coasts tho theyre too hot and theres too many ppl

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?almost makes a hitchikers joke. dont ask me this im existential

37: Do you believe in luck?yes ! for me tho i have to ask for luck before the event. like a few days before kinda thing but yes it happens

39: What time is it?12:15 pm

41: What was the last book you read?uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

43: Do you have any nicknames?yeah ! newt, harl, simon, etc etc

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?honestly when i got my tunge pierced

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?mine craft

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?no.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?ye. msot of the time

53: Do you save money or spend it?spend ! i liek things

55: Love or lust?thinks about keaten henson song huh what were you. saying

57: How many relationships have you had?barely three

59: Where were you yesterday?at. mall . getting suit

61: Are you wearing socks right now?no

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?being my lil ol self

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.@owencarvour @bastardpikachu @ragedrive @transboyklug and @animorphs !! :-)

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?minecraft >.

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?like. ? ye

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?unless im applying for applbees i dont like answering these kind of questions cos idk how id act. idk me

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.luv !!!

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?0910.... y

77: How can I win your heart?send me hopper stranger thigns gifset and give me minecraft tip

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?god idfk mans

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?sub to jerma

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.luv !!!!!!

85: What’s the last song you listened to?sanctuary by joji

87: What is your current desktop picture?its a folder that changes every five mins. jut images mostly picrews

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?not answerin this one lel !!

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?sorry you said radioactive i thot of the highlighter liquid from reanimator bye

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?hm. ok no yeah im not answering this one either

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?either franch to see @owencarvour or the netherlands

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?yes only a litl tho

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?leans in so the mic touche my lips. asscheekes sotuhcing the toliet seat.

#nonny

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