yammoba

[yammoba]

any statistic that shows that trans men are more oppressed than trans women or vice versa feels irrelevant because the difference is always negligible and changes between studies. i've seen studies that say trans women are sexually assaulted more often, that trans men are sexually assaulted more often, that trans women are more likely to live in poverty, that trans men are more likely to live in poverty - you get the gist - both while doing my own research and from sources i've been given by other people

the majority of the time the full picture is trans people do not have wildly different experiences from each other. the majority of the time race is more of an influence in the violence trans people face than their gender. unfortunately, people use statistics to fuel their confirmation bias over petty "trans men are more oppressed" and "trans women are more oppressed" discourse that does nothing but make talking about transphobia an active minefield.

i see this especially when people argue against statistics that don't fit their own narrative of one kind of transphobia being worse than the other argue that it's because hyperinvisibility makes it go underreported, while simultaneously ignoring or downplaying the invisibility that the other side faces. it's all blatantly biased

this isn't to say transmisogyny and antitransmasculinity have no meaningful differences, they do, but the idea that one is provably "worse" is almost never backed up by in-depth research and usually stems from the biased perspective of one person who only experiences one kind of oppression and not the other, and automatically assumes that the other one isn't as bad because they haven't seen the full extent of it

it's inherently a losing battle and ultimately just takes away from discussions of transmisogyny and antitransmasculinity by turning what could've been valuable essays and theory into pissing contests that barely even talk about transmisogyny or antitransmasculinity

the moral of the story is you people need to listen to each other more

[yammoba]

folks if you can't conceive of a world in which both trans boys and trans girls are able to exist in the same space that's like. your problem. i actually think it's incredibly easy for the girl scouts to both be fully inclusive of trans girls AND any trans boys who want to participate in it, especially if they were a scout pre transition and that is where all of their friends and support comes from. or if there are no boy scouts nearby. or if they are nonbinary and assigned whatever at birth and want to be in a scouting troup and girl scouts seems more affirming than boy scouts. why do Y'ALL feel like trans girls can only be affirmed through binarism. why are y'all so uncharitable to trans boys.

[yammoba]

but yeah cis people don't see trans boys as threatening to girls at all

[yammoba]

i remember years ago, devon price made a post talking about a novel about a trans character. I really related to it, to the way the book described the trans experience. even though the author and character were trans women and i was not, I connected to it over shared trans experience.

I remember then being slightly put off by price's description of the book including something about how the book isn't really for "tmes" and we just need to sit and listen and not contribute.

it was this sort of strange moment for me, because it felt like I was being denied what had been this very wonderful moment of connection between trans people who were more similar than we were different.

i didn't think much of it at the time, this was before all this discourse and it seemed like a weird one-off thing, but I think of it now when I see how he talks about transandrophobia.

I think about how this separation works to kill solidarity and connection between trans people. when support becomes one-sided, it is weakened. we lack the strength of a unified group. your liberation is bound up in mine. when we construct a rigid no-man's-land between our experiences and identities, our connection becomes sterile. there is no life capable of flourishing in these conditions. there is none of the colour and music and beauty that always made me love being trans so much. if anyone gives without receiving, listens without being listened to, in time they will dry up.

bitterly, this also comes with the realization that price's denials of trans masc oppression run deeper than I initially remembered.

if something I had wrote had a fucking trans man going "we all need to be quiet and listen to the nice twans wady" I would scream lmao like shut the fuck up you pretentious little loser I'm trying to connect to people not distribute a manifesto but I wish you luck on some day translating your chivalry into sex

[yammoba]

a friend just tipped me off about Fund a Kitchen in Gaza, a free tool that helps you locate and donate to community kitchens currently serving some of Gaza's most vulnerable!

this lets you choose a region (south, central, north) and see which kitchens operate in that area, then donate to as many as you can.

as a reminder, community kitchens try to buy and cook in bulk, which makes ingredients last longer & sustain more people in the conditions of extreme scarcity that Israel is imposing right now. they are also able to serve people on the ground who may not have the means to reach out online.

so, whether through this tool or not, please do support community kitchens, as well as mutual aid groups that cover additional needs, such as the Sameer Project (meals, tents, cash aid, medical aid) and Dahnoun Mutual Aid (meals, tents, baby supplies, cash aid, winter clothes).

[yammoba]

i know we're all sick of self-care being a marketing tactic now, but i don't think a lot of us have any other concept of self-care beyond what companies have tried to sell us, so i thought i'd share my favorite self-care hand out

brought to you by how mad i just got at a Target ad

[yammoba]

can I be so honest. can I be so real. is this a safe space.

I don't actually think that a 21 year old hooking up with a 30 year old is that bad. I don't think it's a problem the way people make it out to be. that's two legal adults having sex, chief.

[yammoba]

tumblr user making a post: "damn i love pasta carbonara"

terf blogger in the notes: "Yes, my female brain agrees with this post whole-heartedly! As I read the words of this post, I could feel the eggs in my uterus shifting in their ovaries happily, as my vagina clenched in understanding. This post really made my understanding of the gender binary more concrete, and made me once again so so glad of my womanness"

[yammoba]

By many deffintions i am a lunatic

[yammoba]

Ershine bof4 is truly the most character of all time

[yammoba]

i’ve literally been saying you guys shouldn’t be using shinigami eyes the entire fucking time

[yammoba]

Im just so weary

[yammoba]

"trans guys are uniquely capable of perpetrating misogyny" everyone is uniquely capable of perpetrating misogyny dipshit it came free with your fucking living in a patriarchal society

[yammoba]

The thing about ADHD is that the "lack of reward chemicals in your brain" doesn't just mean that you don't want to do any tasks that don't feel particularly yummy :(, it means that your brain will look at chores and tasks that need to be done like "doing this would be painful and tedious for absolutely nothing to gain from it, Do Not Do That." The same thing that your brain tells you about everything else that would feel really bad and hurt the entire time that you're dying. The part of your brain that stops you from doing the thing is the same part that keeps you from shoving your arm into a wood chipper.

With unmedicated, unmanaged ADHD, "I have to do this assignment or I fail and my life will be ruined and I die" feels like a SAW trap, every single time.

[yammoba]

Ah... maybe i should sue.

[yammoba]

the transgender urge to rip apart your body, to claw away all the flesh you never asked for, to free your soul from the prison you were born into and insert yourself into a vessel that you choose for yourself. sometimes it is not enough to voice train and take HRT and get surgery- sometimes you feel as if the only thing that could fix you is a time machine and DNA editor