#unless i decide to post it at some point next week and then do still post chapter 5 next weekend

[hamiltonfc]

think i'm definitely going to have to postpone 'moth to a fame' chapter 4 to next saturday (march 1st) bc i've been so busy this week i haven't written a word of it. so unless i can pull a miracle and write it in one day (which i don't wanna do bc i want it to be as good as it can be) then it's going to have to be posted a week late.

[a-mint-bear]

Comfort Object

Male Yandere x Reader

You see a really weird "job" post online, and the money seems too good to be true. But you aren't really in a position where you can turn it down...

You hope it doesn't get weird.

Parts: [ x / 2 / 3 ]

---

It was a very… concerning “job” posting.

But desperate times, and all that. 

It had shown up about a week ago, and it wasn’t hard to see why no one had taken the poster up on it as of yet. 

Bedmate Needed

● 11 pm to 6 am

● $25/hour up front

● Riverside Motel

● Room 44

● Not a sex thing

The last note seemed tacked on in a later edit, but it was still… not great.

You’d have to be either a gullible idiot or a desperate one to go for a job like this. Unfortunately, you were the latter. Very much so.

You couldn’t take another night on the street. It was getting so cold out. The promise of a warm bed was almost enough to lure you in on its own. But the money… 175 bucks just to sleep in the same bed as some internet creep?

Despite the clarification in the post, this had to be a sex thing, right?

You hadn’t gone that far, despite everything. It’s not like you hadn’t considered it… but the thought was too terrifying. Making yourself completely vulnerable to a stranger that could just decide you were less than a person and do whatever they wanted to you? You had to draw the line somewhere.

But at this point, you weren’t sure that there was a line you weren’t willing to cross anymore. 

. . .

The Motel wasn’t the seediest you’d ever seen around town but it wasn’t a place you would’ve voluntarily stayed at even two months ago. Back when you had options. 

Creepy post guy opened the door after a couple of knocks, with an awkward, pregnant pause between them. He wasn’t quite what you expected for an internet creep, but he was still a sight to see.

Really bad posture and dark, greasy-looking hair, with the darkest circles under his eyes you’d ever seen. He looked like he was about to pass out at any second, but he held it together long enough to gesture you into the room. 

“Hey…” His voice was low but he sounded nervous. And so, so tired. “You’re… You’re a little early. That’s…that’s fine. Uh, come in.”

You felt his eyes on you as you passed him, and it didn’t help your anxiousness. Not one bit. 

“Hey so, I-I really…I uh, need a shower.” He stumbled over his words with a breathy, nervous laugh. “Unless you wanna sleep next to a… fuckin’ sweaty mess all night. Do you wanna go first or…?”

You must’ve looked nervous because his eyes went wider, digging into his pocket.

“I wasn’t tryin’ to… Oh, uh…here.” He nodded, pressing the money into your hand. “Up front, just… just like I said. You just…just seemed like you maybe sorta needed one too.”

Some part of you must’ve still had an ounce of pride left because your whole body felt on fire with shame, embarrassment so consuming that you froze up. It had been a couple of days…

He just looked away, seeming like he was embarrassed himself. 

“I w-wasn’t gonna like… try to join you or peep on you or nothin’!” He tried to assure you, eyes darting in a panic and talking a bit too fast. “If I, like, go first? I won’t get mad if you change your mind and leave… I get it. I’m not gonna like… go after you or call the cops or nothin’ like that. I just…”

He stared at the floor, nails digging into his arm as he seemed like he was having trouble breathing.

“I really… I really need this.” He was so quiet, but his voice was so desperate.

You couldn’t really be considering this, could you?

He seemed more like a weird, awkward, sad guy than a real danger or some kind of pervert.

And you really did need a hot shower. 

It seemed like a safer bet to have him go first, if you were really going through with this. And it would give you a chance to look around the room for a spot to tuck away your pocket knife, just in case.

When he was in the shower, you did just that. The spot between the mattress and bed frame would be easy to grab at if things got hinky.

If things got all touchy-feely, as you suspected they would, him finding that on you or leaving it in your pocket when your clothes got tossed wherever would be really inconvenient. 

Steam rolled out of the bathroom when he stepped out, shirtless but with sweatpants and a towel around his neck. He was thin, almost alarmingly so, but you could still see muscle, enough to pose a problem should he decide to overpower you.

This was your last chance to back out, before you’d be vulnerable to this odd stranger.

But even if you left, the money wouldn’t last long, and it’s not like you had any other options. 

You were so grateful that the motel tub wasn’t disgusting, but you would’ve gotten clean regardless. Two days worth of sweat and funk was washed away and it felt so heavenly… But it was hard to relax when you were trying to stay hyper alert of any noise that could be that man trying to get in or even eavesdrop.

But…

Nothing. 

You finished your shower and brushed your teeth, doing everything you could to feel clean that a motel bathroom could provide. And there was no sign of the guy. 

But you had to go back out there eventually. You supposed you could lock yourself in here and get a full night’s sleep indoors, even if it was on the floor of a motel bathroom with your back against the door, but part of you just said “fuck it” and warily peeked around the doorway into the bedroom.

The lights in the room were dim, but warm. He was sitting on the end of the bed, one knee tucked into his chest, staring at the tv as the bright colors of a nightly talk show reflected in his eyes, but something told you he wasn’t really watching. His eyes met yours and you froze.

“It’s almost eleven…” He mumbled, his head resting awkwardly on his shoulder. His hand ghosted over the spot on the bed next to him. “… Will... will you stay?”

So many thoughts raced through your head. What would happen if you laid down beside him? You could probably deal with sex… even if it felt a bit wrong. But if he wanted to hurt you?

Your brain reminded you:

What do you really have to lose?

When you told him you would stay, sitting next to him, you could see him relax. Just a bit.

“If you still want to leave-”

But you cut him off, almost afraid he would talk you out of it after you’d made up your mind.

Avoiding his stare, you told him you had nowhere to go.

The bed was cold, it might take a bit to warm up with the two of you in it, but it was the least of your concerns at that moment. 

“So it’s...” He’d spoken up so suddenly, you hoped he didn’t see you flinch. He was staring at the ceiling, seeming just a tiny bit calmer. “... it’s fine if you just… lay there or h-hold onto me, or play on your phone or whatever, anything is fine. Just… just don’t leave ‘til mornin’. Okay?”

A worrying pause, but you told him you understood.

And that was that. He laid next to you unmoving for almost an hour before you had the nerve to move at all, shifting slowly to your side to face him.

His eyes were shut, his breathing even, but somehow you knew he was still awake. It was like he was trying to sleep but it just wasn’t coming to him. He looked so worn down, like he could just keel over any second. It definitely made him less intimidating, but you weren’t letting your guard down, no matter how much your body was screaming at you to just let go.

Despite your better judgement, you wondered if he really was being genuine about this not being a sex thing. It was a relief, sure, but it just raised more questions.

Why were you here?

. . .

You’d stopped looking at the bedside clock a while ago. It had to have been hours by then.

Your anxiety and dread somehow felt quieter under the lull of impending sleep. Despite everything, your body was at least grateful for a warm bed and hot shower, and if you didn’t sleep there now, you didn’t know when you’d be able to sleep somewhere warm any time soon. 

Every moment that ticked by, you felt your resolve slipping. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, just to let go… This whole situation was weird, but you just wanted to sleep.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He hoped against everything that he would just fall asleep.

Just this once, he didn’t want to have to follow through with it. But he was so damn tired. There was this ache behind his eyes that he could feel in his bones, his mind never stopped racing… 

He could feel your body heat in the bed next to him. You had either been very scared or very considerate, you’d only moved once since you laid down with him. 

He hated that he had to do this. He felt sorry for you, he really did. But it was drowned out by the buzzing in the back of his brain. The constant whispers in his ear. 

There had been so many before now, it was a miracle he hadn’t gotten caught. But this was a huge, dangerous city. Everyone in it was just a blip to anyone paying attention. 

He could feel their skin under his palms buzzing at the back of his brain. How their eyes stared into his, burning with betrayal, fear, helplessness. How he saw them fade away.

How it was the only thing that worked to let him finally sleep. The only thing that quieted the whispers, at least for a little bit. 

Some booked it after getting the money. Some just showed up and straight-up robbed him. Some tried to leave in the middle of the night, thinking he was asleep. But if they stayed and fell asleep, that was that.

He told himself that he gave them all a chance. 

If you managed to stay up all night, you’d be safe. But he really needed this… It was already day three, and he’d never made it past day five without completely losing it. Trying to fight this, it was too hard. The longer he stayed awake, trying to avoid what had to happen, the worse he felt. The louder the voice got. The deeper the ache in his bones. But the more often he did it, the easier it got. And that was worse in a different way. 

It was wrong. He wasn’t so deep in it that he couldn’t see that. The morning after, he always hated himself and what he did. 

But as the days went on, it would all creep back in. And doing it again felt less and less horrifying to him. 

You were scared. He could tell. And you had every reason to be, he told himself. But it just meant it would take you longer to fall asleep. 

He could wait all night. And if you made it the full seven hours, you weren’t what he needed. You’d be free from him, from this. Hopefully you wouldn’t come back, no matter how badly you needed the money.

He wondered what you meant by having nowhere to go.

But he tried not to wonder too much. It would make this harder. 

He could hear your breathing getting slower, your body relaxing into the bed. You wouldn’t last much longer. 

His eyes shot open when he felt you suddenly touch him, tucking your forehead into his shoulder. You weren’t quite asleep, a cuddler? He almost laughed to himself when half-asleep you looked a bit frustrated, like it wasn’t enough.

You muttered something about being cold, lazily scooting your body closer to him up the bed. He felt his breath catch when suddenly, his head was pulled to you, tucked into your chest as your arm circled him. He was suddenly the little spoon, but facing you. He could hear your heartbeat. 

He wanted to say something, wake you up or wriggle free to make what he had to do easier on you when you fell asleep. He felt a hand in his hair, playing with it and idle gentle nails on his scalp. 

It was… nice. Everything felt calm, the buzzing and horrible thoughts were still there but they were being drowned out by the warmth of your skin, the thump of your heart in his ear.

You were mumbling something. He held his breath, trying to hear.

You told him, or whoever you were dreaming about, maybe even no one at all, that he was okay. That he was safe. 

He couldn’t keep his eyes open. Something was different this time. He felt all his control slipping away, and for once, he wasn’t scared. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You woke to a sunbeam across your face, and the strange man in your arms, sound asleep. According to your phone, it was 10 am. You were grateful for the extra hours in a warm bed, but would he be mad? Did he have somewhere to be?

You couldn’t remember anything past drifting off next to him, but the two of you were tangled together, he seemed so comfortable.

Now that it was over, and your anxieties were much quieter, you really got a good look at the guy. He wasn’t… unattractive, you supposed. He was all elbows and ribs but laying against your chest made him look so soft and harmless. 

Wasn’t the worst way you’d ever made 175 bucks.

You wondered if he’d shell out the extra 100, or if that would be pushing your luck. 

Either way, it would be best to wake him up.

Gently scratching at his scalp, you told him it was getting late.

You watched as his eyes struggled to open, and for a few calm moments, he just laid against you. After a beat, he gasped and jolted up, head swiveling around the room in a panic.

“I…” He seemed really out of it, almost scared. “I actually…”

He stared at you, eyes wide. You told him it was ten in the morning, hoping everything was okay and if it wasn’t, that he wouldn’t take it out on you.

He grabbed you by the shoulders, and for a moment you were sure something bad was going to happen, but somehow, it was even worse.

He was crying.

Breaking down, sobbing hard as he just kept staring at you. Even with the odd night you’d just had, this was somehow the weirdest part. 

Despite yourself, you asked him if he was okay. He pulled himself together and you were startled again when he touched your face, his thumb gently grazing your cheek. It was tender and sweet, and it was freaking you out a little. Just a tad. 

“You… It was you…”

All you could think to ask was if you should get going, maybe trying to make it seem like you had someplace to be, or were at least trying to be considerate of his time. But it didn’t seem like he was taking the hint. 

He grabbed your hands in his, the sudden contact made you jump. He pulled them to his chest, he was too close. The way he was looking at you…

“Can we… Can we do this again? Like tonight? Please?” He was practically begging, the look in his eyes changing. That nervous, achingly tired gaze was hopeful. And so warm.

“You can have the room, if that’s what you need!” he offered, maybe somehow having picked up on your current situation. “I can pay more too. Just p-please…”

He held your palm to his cheek, staring up at you.

“I need you.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a bit of a different one from me, but i kind of liked how it turned out

that feeling when your new yandere was totally gonna off you but you were just too comfy

he's never gonna let you go. you're the only thing keepin him from killing again, ya know?

i don't have a ton of yanderes that actually kill, as odd as that seems. but this guy is one of them

he's not supposed to be a huge commentary on any particular mental health conditions, i did a bit of "research" into psychosis induced insomnia (using that term VERY loosely), but like does he hear voices because he can't sleep, or can he not sleep because he hears voices? who can say? certainly not I, the dummy who made him

i wrote this one pretty much right after my last big deadline ended, but it got reworked a bit cause it just needed some tweaks:

the yandere started out as tired but crass, kind of a dick, and when he switched after that good night's sleep it felt off. It felt more interesting if he was a bit pathetic and creepy, it felt like less of a red flag for the reader to stick around

the reader was originally going to be a straight up s*x worker that got hired by the yandere for him to kill, but it didn't really feel like my place to make that commentary on violence against s*x workers or to more or less soften it with a yandere love interest. it just didn't feel right for something so unserious

but ive been having horrible writer's block lately, so i thought i'd finally put this one out. i need to read/play some yandere stuff and get inspired. let me know if you have any recommendations y'all ✌️

[penkura]

Everybody Knows

Summary: You want to keep it a secret as long as you can, but living on a pirate ship makes that difficult.

Warnings: Pregnancy, mentions of vomiting, slight food aversions, loving husband Sanji (not a warning tbh haha)

Note: Everyone, hi!! I wrote this before I ever finished 'knowing', and I just couldn't help but to share it here now that that's completed! I loved writing this so much, and yes, this is one of the two one-shots that are connected to 'knowing'! I'll post the second next week most likely! This also takes place about four to five years after the end of 'knowing'! I hope you all will enjoy this!!

“Sanji, look, look!! It’s positive!”

“Wait. No way, really?!”

Your smiling and giggling while showing off the positive pregnancy test ended up being contagious, Sanji grinning when he saw it as he wrapped you in a tight hug and spun you just a little. He couldn’t do it too much after all! You’d just found you were likely carrying a precious blessing, he didn’t want to make you dizzy or sick or anything!

It’d been nearly four years since your wedding on the Thousand Sunny after the events in Wano, and just about two years since you decided to start trying for a baby, but now! Now you were pregnant! Finally, after what felt like so much longer than it should have been. You hadn’t told anyone that you two were even thinking about having a baby, you wanted to keep it as secret as possible, and it taking almost two years to even get to the point of a positive test was definitely keeping it secret.

Honestly, when you’d told him you wanted to try having a baby, Sanji was ecstatic and nervous all at the same time. Of course he wanted to be a dad, he’d thought about it for so long, especially once you two married. But, with the life of a pirate, it couldn’t be that safe, could it? Obviously others had done it, Gol D. Roger had kids on his ship, Whitebeard did too, and Big Mom had all her kids (don’t remind him of that though, poor man thought he’d never see you again). The world had become moderately safer, people weren’t as terrified of pirates anymore, specifically your crew with how much you had helped others.

When you did tell him, you had made sure no one else was around and that it was about bedtime for most of the crew. You’d stay in the kitchen with Sanji while he finished off the dishes, telling you what he was thinking about cooking the next day for meals most nights, and that was the perfect time. A few of your crewmates came through to wish you both goodnight. Nami had done so early so she could check the map and log pose, making sure you were heading in the right direction. Zoro had the first night shift and had, like always, just requested someone bring him some sake after a while. Brook had chosen to spend some time playing his violin on the deck, Franky was likely in his workshop you thought. Robin came and said goodnight a bit later, saying she’d be joining Zoro in the crow’s nest for a bit with her latest book. You hadn’t been entirely sure about where Jimbei was at first, then heard him on the deck with Brook. Luffy and Usopp had tried to sneak in with Chopper to get a late night snack, making you giggle softly when you saw them come in the door as quietly as they could, before Sanji threw bread at them and chased them out, shouting “that’s all you get! The kitchen is now closed, goodnight unless you want to work!”

Hearing your giggle made Sanji turn back and smile at you, his lovely wife! He still couldn’t believe you two were married some days, just about two years at this point. Before he even started on the dishes, he stopped and gave you a kiss on the top of your head, saying “Once I’m done with the dishes we can head to bed, okay?”

“Sure!”

You tried to keep your focus on your own book while he worked, but your thoughts kept jumping around. You started one thought and lost it, wondering what it was before it came back, and your face heated up at the thought you’d been having the last few weeks anytime you were alone with your dear husband. Every time you’d try and bring the subject of having a baby up to Sanji, someone would interrupt and you’d back down, nervous they’d hear and it would spread around the ship before you even started trying.

You just wanted to be a mom on top of being a pirate, nothing more to it. And you knew Sanji would be an amazing father. No matter how his biological father was, Sanji would be different, he’d had Zeff as his chosen father, his real father. You knew he would be okay.

When Brook started to play what sounded like a familiar lullaby from the East Blue, it made you smile. You checked around quickly to make sure the coast was clear, before getting up from your spot at the table and walking over to Sanji, giving him a hug from behind that made him greet you.

“Sanji~?”

He hummed a bit while finishing drying another dish, “Yes, darling? What can I do for you?”

Smiling just a bit and burying your face in his shirt, you quietly made your request, “I want us to have a baby.”

It was loud enough for him to hear it, nearly causing Sanji to drop the plate in his hand as he choked a bit on his cigarette. Carefully, he set the plate down before turning around and taking your face in his (still damp) hands, trying to make out if you were joking with him or not. All you did in return was smile softly, nothing but love for him in your eyes. Once he realized your smile was sincere and that’s what you really wanted, he smiled widely and nodded, kissing you all over your face.

“Of course, of course, mon amour!!” he was almost as quiet as you were, he could tell you didn’t want anyone else to hear this precious desire yet, “Absolutely, whatever you want, as many as you want!”

You giggled while he kept kissing your face and you wrapped your arms back around his shoulders. "One would be a good start."

Now, you finally had the positive test you’d been anxiously waiting for. Every other one you’d taken that came up negative frustrated both of you at times, but every time it happened, seeing how upset you were, Sanji would just hug you and say it would happen one day, he just knew it would. You’d just keep trying and praying and hoping until it did.

And finally it did. The second line on the test was faint, but you could see it. You had a positive test!

After you two had calmed down from your excitement, you decided to keep the news secret for the time being. You wanted either Chopper or a doctor at the next island to confirm that your test wasn’t a false positive before you told anyone. The ship was due to land at an island that had a large town on it the next day, so Sanji agreed on taking you to a doctor once you did, under the guise of getting some ingredients to store (of course he did need to do that shopping, but making sure you really were pregnant was top priority). You absolutely trusted Chopper as a doctor, but you knew it was likely word would spread sooner than you wanted it to, so you made the choice to go to a doctor once you docked at the next island instead.

Some of your crewmates picked up on how you two acted through the day, but didn’t think too much of it. You guys were sickeningly sweet to each other most of the time anyway, it was gross how lovey-dovey you were (to Zoro anyway). A few times you’d be doing your chores, and someone, namely Robin or Nami, would catch how Sanji, who had been handing drinks and snacks to those who wanted them, would catch you out of the corner of his eye, before quietly watching you for a moment, deciding to go over and offering to take your work off your hands. You just smiled and said he could help if he was that bored and he looked like he wanted to say something, but instead gave a smile and a nod, helping you finish your chores a little faster.

Nami noticed first how weird Sanji was acting towards you. Normally he'd be his regular self, providing her and Robin with drinks and snacks in his normal way, before going over the top to do the same for you. It made sense since you were his wife, but that day he seemed…off? Almost like something had happened to calm him down. His normal acts of treating them like queens were a bit more subdued, and then with you, the one he almost treated like a goddess, he seemed like he'd been hit with a tranquilizer that made him more gentle, soft. It was very odd.

“Hmmm, Robin? Do you think those two are being…weird?”

Robin looked up from her book just enough to see Nami watching you two again; you were playing a card game with Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper, while Sanji stayed nearby just watching. This was the most they'd seen him out of the kitchen in a while, it definitely was odd.

“Sanji is being a bit more protective of her today.”

“Is [Y/N] sick or something?”

“She seems normal to me. Maybe she’s pregnant.”

Nami laughed a little louder than she intended, but it didn’t gain yours or Sanji’s attention. It did gain Luffy's, who looked over wondering what Nami was laughing about before returning his attention to your card game.

“That’d be something.”

Neither girl dared to ask you about it that day, just in case they were incorrect and said something that could be considered offensive. They didn’t even know if you two wanted to have kids in the first place, maybe you just didn’t feel well and Sanji was just being the overprotective husband to his sick wife. The last time you'd been sick he barely left your side and got some help with the cooking so he could take care of you.

When it was dinner time, you were very careful to not let anyone notice how the smell of the fish you were having was making you nauseous. When Luffy asked why you weren't having any, you made the excuse of not feeling very well, deciding to forgo the fish to keep from making yourself sick. It wasn't technically a lie, you just made it sound convincing enough that no one questioned you further.

A silly argument broke out about who would get your share since you weren't eating the fish, and it made you laugh along with Nami. Luffy and Brook both wanted it, Usopp said it should be left for the next day because maybe you'd feel up to eating it then, while Chopper tried to ask you what was wrong and you just told him your stomach was a bit upset, he said he'd give you something to help if you wanted.

You really did impress Sanji with how well you were keeping your little secret. If it weren't for your restraint, he'd have told everyone by now, he was sure of it. It was taking everything in him not to pick up a transponder snail and call Zeff to let him know the good news. He knew you'd let him as soon as it was really, truly confirmed, he was just so anxious to tell someone.

Everyone cleared out after dinner minus you and Robin, she decided to stay behind and help with clearing the table, something you normally did to spend some extra time with your husband that he greatly appreciated.

However, this time, Sanji kept trying to make you stop helping.

"[Y/N], please, sit down! Robin and I will take care of the table." Sanji really, really wanted you to sit down and take it easy. If you were pregnant, you needed rest! You might be growing a whole new person inside you! You'd need all the energy you could have over the next few months!

"Sanji, it's ok! I can help."

"[Y/N]," Robin gave you a smile as she looked between you and Sanji, "if you aren't feeling well, I don't mind helping tonight. You should go let Chopper check you though, just to be certain it's not something to be worried about."

You bit the inside of your lip, wanting to tell Robin why Sanji was being so much more protective over you, but you weren't sure if you should. You viewed her like an older sister, and knew that if you did tell her, she'd keep your secret. Robin would take any secret you told her to the grave. Instead, you looked at Sanji with a slightly pleading look that caused him to just know what you were thinking. Sanji gave you a smile and nodded, which made you smile in return.

"Robin, the only reason Sanji is like this right now is because we got a positive pregnancy test this morning."

Honestly, Robin was joking earlier when she made that suggestion to Nami, but hearing you confirm her silly thought actually made her smile even more at you.

"Really? That's wonderful!"

Nodding, you started to almost beg for her silence on the matter.

"We don't want anyone else to know yet, so I haven't gone to Chopper for real confirmation. We're going to go find a doctor on the next island tomorrow to get a blood test done."

"That's a very good idea, to make absolutely sure your test was positive."

Sanji nodded, setting a hand on your shoulder. "So…could you keep it a secret please? Just until we have it confirmed."

"Of course. Your secret is safe with me."

Robin then joined Sanji even more in telling you to sit and relax, to the point you decided to head to bed with a laugh when Sanji said he didn't mean you had to leave. All you did was kiss him and say you'd see him when he finally came to bed himself.

You took a quick shower, before changing into your pajamas and choosing to lay in bed, hair still a bit wet but you didn't care. You wanted to see that positive pregnancy test again. It still felt surreal to you that it might be happening. You might become a mother in a few months.

The two faint, pink lines were still there, you hadn't been dreaming all day.

Gosh I hope it's not a false positive…

Eventually Sanji did come to bed with you, after his own shower and with his hair still damp too. You barely even moved when he laid down next to you, setting his hand on your stomach while you kept staring at the test.

"It's so weird."

"Hmm?"

"To think that we might be having a baby. It feels weird, doesn't it?"

He nodded a bit, while you finally laid the test back down on your nightstand and turned to face your dearly loved husband with a smile.

"You might get to be a dad soon."

"And you might get to be a mom soon."

Your giggle never failed to make him smile, even more than he already was. Sanji wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close to him, hugging you and burying his face in your hair.

"I love you…no matter what we find out next, I love you so much."

You returned his hug and sighed happily, content with where you were now. You really hoped and prayed your test was accurate, that soon you'd be parents, you'd have a baby of your own to care for and love as well.

"I love you too, Sanji."

All would be well.

+!+

"All right everyone, I have your allowances for today!"

The normal culprits of bad spending habits cheered or thanked Nami, while you gladly took your decent sum and pocketed it immediately. Of course you wanted to look for some clothes, but you had no idea how much a doctor would charge you for a test, so you hoped the allowance Nami gave to you would be enough for both.

Usually you'd join in on drawing straws to see who stayed on the ship to guard it, but before you even could take one from Usopp, Sanji took your hand and told everyone you had decided you were going with him to get groceries this time. Not a single one of your crewmates questioned it, the rest of them drawing straws and Zoro and Jimbei being the lucky ones to stay on the Sunny. Once everything was settled, the rest of you left the ship and broke off in different directions. You stopped a local and quietly asked her where a doctor or women's clinic was, and she was kind enough to lead you and Sanji there.

After the kind older woman left you, the two of you didn't go inside yet. Your nerves had picked up and Sanji could tell. He felt the same way, you both had the same thought running through heads.

What if it was a false positive? What if all your hopes you'd had over the last 24 hours were about to be dashed and you weren't really going to have a baby?

Despite all the fears and worries, Sanji held your hand just a bit tighter and it brought you out of your thoughts and you looked at him.

"Do you want me to go in with you?"

You thought for a second, then shook your head. "It's ok, I can go. You need to go grocery shopping so we're back on the ship at the meeting time."

Although he really did want to go with you, Sanji nodded and gave you a tight hug, kissing your forehead. "No matter what they say, I love you. You know that right?"

"Of course I do!" You laughed a bit, leaning up to give your sweet husband a kiss. "I love you too, and I know it's all gonna be okay. Meet you here in about an hour?"

Sanji nodded, letting you go but letting his fingers linger on yours as you turned and walked into the clinic. He stayed for a few minutes, before turning to go find the shopping district and get his grocery shopping done by the hour time was up, saying silent prayers that the news you brought back would be good.

+!+

The hour you had agreed on had passed, Sanji was waiting for you outside the clinic nervously. He'd honestly expected you to be outside and waiting for him already, but maybe something was wrong? Did something happen that was keeping you there longer than you expected? He prayed it wasn't something along the lines of you getting your pregnancy confirmed but being told you'd lost the baby already. That would devastate both of you after the time you'd had even just trying to get pregnant.

No, no, don't even think that. Everything is fine.

Every time someone exited the clinic and it wasn't you, Sanji got even more anxious, wishing you'd finally step out. He'd nearly gone through another two cigarettes while waiting, knowing you'd be upset with him over it but he couldn't help it. The nicotine was at least calming his nerves somewhat.

I'll have to apologize to [Y/N] later.

Finally, after another almost twenty minutes, you left the clinic and his nerves calmed a bit more but his heart started racing, wondering what you were going to tell him. You hadn't even looked up from whatever papers you had been given, you were still reading them it looked like. But once you did and saw Sanji was waiting for you, you gave him the brightest smile he thought he'd ever seen from you, even brighter than the one you had when you two got married.

"Sanji!" You ran to him and threw your arms around him, causing him to do the same. He tried to ask you what the doctor said but the words wouldn't come out, but once you pulled back from your hug, you didn't stop smiling. "It was right! We're having a baby!"

Actually hearing you confirm that your pregnancy test was positive made Sanji unbelievably happy. Even though he could feel tears starting, he smiled at you, hugging you again even tighter than before, picking you up and spinning you a bit, and telling you how happy he was. He set you back down and released you from the hug, kissing your face and thanking you for this blessing while you laughed a bit. He didn't need to thank you, not even a little bit. It was your choice and you were glad to be having a baby with him.

After one more kiss, he ended up pulling away from you with a grin, throwing his arms in the air with tears in his eyes.

"I'm gonna be a dad!!!"

+!+

Usopp and Nami were the ones to find out next. The two had been wandering the town when they came up near the clinic Sanji had dropped you off at, not thinking much about it at the time. You had a doctor on the ship, Chopper was the best one possible!

…so why was Sanji standing outside this clinic like he was waiting for something?

"What's he doing?"

"Why would I know that?"

The two were obviously confused. Had you gone inside? Were you that sick? Why didn't you tell Chopper or anyone else?? You could have stayed on the ship instead of letting Sanji drag you to town! Granted yes, he was your husband and you didn't seem to mind at all, but still. If you weren't well, you could have stayed behind and rested instead of running through the town in the few hours Nami had given you all to explore. She had just learned it would take two days for the log to reset, so you had plenty of time to explore! Honestly, sometimes Nami thought Sanji of all people could be a touch more considerate when you said you weren't feeling well.

"[Y/N] did say she had an upset stomach last night," Usopp remembered while watching Sanji light a second cigarette, "maybe they didn't want to bother Chopper and brought her here?"

"Oh come on, they have to be hiding something." Nami was trying to think what could be so important that you two would come to a random clinic on this island instead of just going to Chopper, just as you stepped out and ran to hug Sanji. The two of you were full of smiles and excitement, making her tilt her head. "What's going on?" Nami was trying so hard to hear, she was about to just discreetly walk by and eavesdrop.

"I don't know, I can't hear them." Usopp leaned in a little more, still trying to stay hidden.

The two didn't need to wait any longer to know what you two were saying, as Sanji's outburst of shouting that he was going to be a dad told them everything and Nami gasped while Usopp's jaw dropped almost to the ground.

"She's pregnant!!"

"Did…did they plan that?!"

"Who cares, Usopp! There's gonna be a baby on the ship soon!"

The two were conflicted on if they should confront you now or wait until you told everyone, while they were deciding you and Sanji had started walking back towards the farmer's market to finish the grocery shopping, neither Nami or Usopp noticing until she went to shout for the two of you.

"They're gone! Dang it!"

"Well…I bet they'll tell us later, Nami."

"If they don't," Nami's berri eyes didn't get past Usopp, "I can try offering them some baby funds, at an interest."

"Nothing gets by you."

+!+

Getting back to the ship, you helped Sanji put away all the groceries (despite him telling, begging you to rest), before putting away the very few clothes you ended up purchasing. After paying for your appointment and the prenatal vitamins they gave you, your allowance was about half gone, but you were able to find a few cute clothes you could wear now and some pieces to put away for later on. It was a bit difficult for you to find some maternity clothing items, but you did find some cute pieces! Even more difficult was keeping those pieces hidden when you were showing the other items to Nami, Robin, and Chopper. You made the excuse that they were more intimate items which flew over Chopper's head but made Nami pull a face while Robin laughed a bit.

Nami did keep pestering you about what you did and how you spent all your money this time, but it wasn't that weird to you, she normally asked if anyone had anything left from what she gave them, and if they wanted her to put it away for the next island stop. You almost, almost told her, but just claimed your clothes were more expensive than expected.

Robin was the only person who you pulled aside and confirmed you were pregnant to. She gave you a hug and congratulated you properly, sitting with you in the room you shared with Sanji to get a little more information from you.

You'd told her that yes, this was planned, about two years later than you had originally hoped. You were nine weeks along, and intending to keep it a secret from everyone else until your first trimester was over just to be safe. The doctor you saw had said everything looked good so far, and it gave you immense relief to hear that.

Your plan was to stay on the ship the next day and tell Chopper so he could start to prepare for whatever he'd need to do to help you through your pregnancy and delivery, but you wanted to wait and tell everyone else once you passed the twelve week mark. Robin said she'd absolutely help as well, she even gave you a few books on pregnancy that you and Sanji could read through.

The rest of the day, Nami and Usopp wondered if you or Sanji were going to say anything about your having a baby. Not one word slipped from either of you, and it was starting to frustrate both of them. At dinner you were able to eat, Sanji quickly catching on that fish was making you nauseous, so he ended up making some meat instead which greatly pleased your captain.

"Sanji!! Seconds!" Luffy whined a bit and Sanji told him to hold on while he got a bit more ready, making Luffy lean over on you, "[Y/N]~~~ can I have some of yours??"

"No, Luffy!" Sanji looked over his shoulder and set a small glare on him, "[Y/N] needs her dinner!"

"But she always shares it with me~!"

"She can't right now!"

"Why not???"

"Because she–"

"--I'm starving after being sick yesterday!"

You nodded, eyes slightly wide as you realized Sanji was that close to revealing your pregnancy earlier than planned. He covered his mouth when you shouted over the two, turning back to the stove and cursing at himself.

Almost blew it, holy crap.

"But I want meeeeeaaaaat."

"You can have some vegetables, Luffy."

Luffy made a face and decided it wasn't worth it, he'd wait for more meat to be cooked. Franky was willing to share with him though, which made your captain happy at least. Once you had finished eating, you took your plate to the sink and stopped to give Sanji a hug, he whispered sorry to you, but you just shook your head, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

“No worries, my dear.”

“Yohohoho, you two are so loving even with a baby on the way!”

Everything went silent. Your crewmates all stopped eating, the sound of silverware on plates was quieted as they stopped to stare at you with widened eyes, and both you and Sanji went completely stiff, you started feeling ill.

How the hell did Brook know?! You hadn’t told anyone apart from Robin, and were fairly certain Sanji didn’t tell anyone after you left him alone earlier to start on dinner. Nami had been a little persistent with you, asking you a lot of questions earlier but you didn’t tell her anything, and you didn’t know at the time that Zoro had even questioned Sanji about why he wasn’t smoking as much. Usopp knew Sanji was close to shouting at Luffy that you were pregnant, and now Chopper realized you feeling nauseous last night made more sense. Robin smiled a bit since she already knew, and Franky hadn’t thought to question anything yesterday or today, honestly thinking you were sick and Sanji was just trying to quit smoking. Jimbei had noticed you feeling sick earlier than anyone, but assumed you’d just caught something since you all were constantly out at sea and stopping at various islands, you could have picked up any kind of illness.

Luffy never questioned a thing, but hearing Brook’s statement made him break into a large grin.

“You guys are having a baby?!”

Your nausea was back, and Sanji could see it in how pale your face was becoming as you, back still turned to the table, tried to figure out whether to confirm, deny, or start asking how Brook knew.

“I…” You felt worse while trying to decide what to say, covering your mouth with your hand.

“[Y/N]? Are you–”

“I’m gonna be sick.”

You pulled away from Sanji and ran out of the kitchen with your hand still over your mouth, making several of your crewmates yell for you, while Robin had run after you. Sanji almost ran after you as well, before realizing he needed an answer from a certain musician first. He set a glare on Brook that made him shudder.

“You. Who the hell told you that?!”

Brook continued to shudder while everyone else couldn’t believe the glare Sanji was giving him.

“T-t-the test was still in the bathroom trash this morning! I-i-it was only n-natural for me to assume!”

“Damn it,” Sanji pulled at his bangs, cursing himself for not suggesting you threw that in the kitchen trash or hid it under your bed until you were ready to tell people, and really wishing he could light a cigarette right then, “Fine, all right?! We’re having a baby! She’s nine weeks and we were gonna tell you all once she was past the first trimester, but guess everyone knows now!”

“Sanji–”

“You guys take care of putting the food away and the dishes, I’m going to go comfort my pregnant wife!”

Sanji threw down his apron and ran out of the kitchen after you and Robin, causing Nami to shout for him, but she didn’t follow him.

Everyone that was left, was completely silent, all mulling over the news that you and Sanji were going to be parents soon.

“S-so,” Brook was still a little shaky after seeing how angry Sanji was, “uh, did anyone else know?”

Nami and Usopp raised their hands, heads down. They only found out by mistake, but both felt awful at your precious secret basically being revealed against your will.  Surprising everyone though was Zoro who nodded.

“Wait, how did you know Zoro??”

“He told me earlier.”

“He what?!”

Rolling his eye a bit, Zoro nodded again while taking a drink of his sake. “I mentioned that he hadn’t been smoking and he ended up telling me. I didn’t want all that information dumped on me but he seemed like he was anxious to tell someone. I just happened to be the first person he talked to.”

That made more sense than Sanji just deciding Zoro would be the first person he told. It became quiet again, Luffy was thinking and pressing his index finger to his forehead before he finally said something.

“So…why did Sanji say they were waiting?”

“Well,” Chopper spoke up, a little shell shocked that he was going to have to take care of a pregnant woman on the ship, but a bit excited about it, “A lot of couples wait until after twelve weeks because the chance of miscarriage is higher before then. It’s never really zero, but waiting until after the first trimester is common practice, by then they’re more confident that the baby will make it.”

“Oh, I see!” Luffy started laughing after that, a grin on his face that seemed to start spreading to his crewmates as the information sunk in. “They’re gonna be awesome parents! I bet it’s a boy!”

“Oh no,” Nami shook her head with a small glare, “It’s got to be a girl, we need more girls on this ship!”

“I can make some SUPER toys for them!”

“I’ll make sure the baby and [Y/N] are both healthy!”

“Would playing lullabies for the child make up for this?”

“Imagine if the cook’s kid wants to be a swordsman.”

“I have some great stories of bravery and adventure to tell them!”

“I’m sure they’ll be great no matter what the child is or what they decide to do in the future.”

The other eight members of your crew continued discussing their own ideas of what your child would be like, working to clean up dinner, when Nami stopped and bit her lip.

“What’s wrong, Nami?” Luffy tilted his head at her as she stopped gathering the plates.

“I feel bad that she got sick because of this. We all made [Y/N] so nervous after Brook said they were having a baby. I hope she’s not too upset.”

“Even if she is,” Zoro had started to leave, but stopped to listen to Nami’s concerns, “the cook will take care of it. He’s her husband after all.”

+!+

“Can I get you some water, [Y/N]?”

“Thank you, Robin, but I’m fine at the moment.” You sighed a bit and leaned against your pillows, Robin nodding as she sat beside you on your bed. You’d completely lost your dinner after you ran off, Robin staying with you to keep your hair back and help you get back to your room until Sanji got there.

He almost burst into your shared room a few minutes later, running over and hugging you close.

“Are you all right, mon amour??”

Nodding, you just hugged him back. “I’m okay. I’m…upset, but otherwise just fine.”

"Rightfully so," Sanji nodded, stroking your hair a bit, "We've barely had time to process this and it's already out."

"How did–"

"The test was still in the bathroom trash can."

Hearing that, you realized it was your fault in the end, for not being more careful about how you disposed of the test. Whining a bit you leaned against Sanji again. "I'm an idiot. I didn't even think about someone seeing it there…"

"Hey, you're not an idiot. Anyone else would have done the same thing," Sanji leaned down just enough to kiss your forehead which made Robin smile before she took her leave, knowing he would make things right, "it didn't even cross my mind that we should've put it somewhere else."

"I should've tossed it overboard."

"I don't think any of the fish want something that's been peed on, love."

That made you burst out laughing, so hard you almost felt like you were going to be sick again but you knew you weren't. Seeing you smile and laugh made Sanji smile as well, as he crawled into bed by you and pulled you back into his arms. He was glad to see you smiling and laughing after the disaster that had been dinner. You deserved to be happy about having a baby, not stressed because it got out earlier than you had planned.

Once you calmed down, you laid there and stared at the ceiling for a bit, Sanji still holding you and rubbing your arm to help comfort you as you thought.

"I'm not that mad at Brook for bringing it up."

"I'm pissed at him."

"Sanji."

"It wasn't his secret to tell."

You sighed with a nod, turning to be face to face with your equally as upset husband, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. "I know…but now I don't feel like I have to agonize over how to tell everyone."

"I…suppose that's true…"

Thinking about the reactions you got from your crewmates, you smiled a little.

"Luffy sounded happy."

"He did, didn't he?"

"He probably thinks this means new crewmate, instead of what is essentially his niece or nephew."

Sanji laughed, nodding. "That's exactly what he thinks, I'm sure of it."

The two of you spent what felt like hours just talking about your day, the insanity of it all. Finding out you really were pregnant, that secret getting out during dinner and making your morning/evening sickness come back, and the likely reactions of your crewmates. You talked until you started dozing off, Sanji quieting his voice when he noticed you were falling asleep. Once you were asleep, he stayed at your side a few minutes longer, before deciding he needed a shower and to check the kitchen before bed.

Before he got up and left, Sanji tucked you in a bit, kissing your forehead with his hand resting on your stomach lightly.

"Sleep well. I love you both so much."

+!+

Breakfast the next morning was weirdly quiet. You'd helped Sanji get everything ready, once again despite him telling you to sit down and relax, to rest since you know, you were growing a whole new person in your womb, you needed as much energy as possible. You just ignored him, smiling and setting the table quickly as everyone else started to file in. Brook had found you earlier in the morning and apologized for the night before, which you accepted with a bright smile, telling him everything was fine.

Sanji still was angry but couldn't find it in him to glare at the skeleton anymore. If you were willing to forgive, Sanji would find a way to do that himself.

During breakfast, Luffy stood up with his drink in hand, making everyone look at him while he grinned. He wanted to toast something obviously, and everyone else raised their drinks to his.

"To Sanji and [Y/N]'s baby! Our future crewmate and niece or nephew! Hopefully nephew though!"

Everyone else laughed and shouted cheers, taking a drink, while you were fighting back tears. You hadn't fully expected all of them to be so accepting of the idea of a baby on board, but what else did you expect?

This ragtag group was your family now, your baby would have no shortage of protectors or joy in their life.

Sanji, the ever attentive husband he was, smiled just a bit seeing the happy tears in your eyes. He leaned over with a kiss to your temple, whispering "It's ok to cry if you're happy."

And you did, just a bit. You thanked Luffy, thanked everyone for being so wonderful and accepting of your baby, who hadn't even been born yet. Most of your crew responded in kind, telling you their thoughts of how they could help when the baby was born, offering to decorate a nursery, asking if you want a boy or girl. Everything they could think of that would help you and Sanji to settle into your roles of mom and dad in a few months. They offered to split up your chores among them, something you asked them not to do until later into your pregnancy. You still wanted some semblance of a routine before you gave birth and had to devote all your time to a tiny human.

Eventually, breakfast had its own little squabble as Luffy snatched the last piece of bacon when Usopp and Franky were reaching for it, a small brawl breaking out. It made Sanji yell for them to be careful around you, leading Franky and Usopp to drag Luffy to the deck to continue their little spat.

You laughed, leaning back in your chair and giving Sanji a smile.

"I love our weird family."

"Hmmm, so do I, mon amour."

All would be well, when you had your baby in a few short months. They would be welcomed with a flurry of love and adoration, not just from you and Sanji, but from everyone else as well.

Can't wait to meet you, little angel.

[softsuo]

unexpected fists ⊱ sakura haruka

⊱ sakura may condone violence, unless it's you.

⊱ w.c: 1.0k

⊱ genre: fluff, mild angst

⊱ warnings: depictions/mentions of violence

⊱ a/n: wanted to delete this at first, but then i watched this week's episode, broke down, and decided to post it anyway

the roles are so reversed, it’s almost terrifying.

it’s sloppy work — sakura isn’t used to being the one who patches others up, after all — but he tries his best and you let him do so. you don’t have the right to protest anyway, or at least that’s what his scowl tells you as he puts one last band-aid on your face.

“so?” you almost grimace at the tone of his voice. you can make out sakura crossing his arms over his chest from the corner of your eyes, though you know better than to lock them with his surely bitter ones.

more often than not, or actually always, you’re the one scolding sakura whenever he gets hurt. yet, here you are, in the safety of café pothos, slumped in one of the seats as he towers over you with evident fury. to be fair, it’s not directed at you, but you’re guilty in the sense of being its cause.

“i… didn’t mean to get in a fight, i swear,” you mumble, awkwardly curling and uncurling the hands in your lap—bruised from the recent events, sweaty from the current event. will he still be mad after hearing that?

“so why did you get in a fight anyway?” he retorts flatly. yeah, he’s still mad. 

“sakura, i’m sure y/n is telling the truth, please don’t be so harsh o—” you hear nirei stumble a bit further away, but he’s interrupted by kotoha placing a hand on his shoulder. in fact, she’s quick to usher both him and suo, as well as herself, out of the café.

left alone, sakura lets out a deep breath, one almost bordering on a groan. “you’re lucky we just happened to be walking around the area.” while collecting the first aid kit kotoha had offered, he goes on: “you’re not even into violence, how did you single-handedly get involved with a whole group?”

“...”

“hey.”

in complete surrender, you groan. “i tried to ignore them but they approached me first! then they kept insulting me which— okay, maybe pissed me off a little… i swear i didn’t start it though! but then they charged at me and for the love of god i obviously had to at least defend myself but then they kept calling me names like ‘freak’ and ‘loser' and what not and—...”

your rant suddenly trails off into silence, and while still displeased, sakura raises an eyebrow, clearly waiting for you to continue. “and? i know stuff like that means jackshit to you.”

he’s got a point, honestly. you know just fine he does, so despite your face growing a bit warmer, you surrender yet again.

“but then again, it kinda fits, doesn’t it?” the mocking words ring in your ears as a hand pulls you up by your hair. it makes you wince, and even more so when — courtesy of pure disgust — the leader closes in to your ear. “only a freak would date another freak after all.”

you’re sure you’ll come to regret it at a later point but at that very moment, your patience runs thin a bit too easily. a crack finds the composed nature you like to otherwise pride yourself in and, without really thinking twice, you’re tossing your head backwards, knocking it into his face.

the shock and impact frees you from his grip, your arm swings into the air and next thing you know…

“i kinda punched him,” you confess, rather embarrassed upon admitting what had caused the switch-up. “and some of the others.”

it becomes quiet, so quiet, and for so long, you can’t help but curiously glance up; much to your surprise, you find sakura to be the one looking away this time, a tint of pink dusting his cheeks.

“y-you don’t have to care about what others think of me,” he sheepishly mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. “although it does kinda make me…”

“make you? make you, what?”

a rather stressed expression is quick to find his face, the hand on his neck flying up to ruffle his hair in frustration. “nothing, it doesn’t matter! just… i really don’t care so just ignore it.”

“but—”

“no buts. one of us getting their hands dirty like that is already enough. you don’t have to get into all that fighting too. call next time instead."

sakura sends you a glare as soon as you open your mouth to try and argue back. not the threatening kind he shows others, but the kind that still lets you know he’s being serious. so, chewing on the inside of your cheek, you opt to simply look down at your lap. moments of silence pass, until it’s suddenly broken by a deep, deep sigh.

before you can process it, sakura is already leaning down, resting his forehead on your shoulders. as he speaks, his voice comes out in nothing but a weak, quiet mumble: “i can’t just sit back and watch you get hurt.”

the vulnerability he radiates fills the shop more than any amount of customers ever could; something he’d never as much as think of showing others, not even to the friends patiently waiting outside. his words sound almost like they’d torn themselves from his throat, faintly laced by a sense of concern—one so deep, it makes you fear that maybe, just maybe, he probably wouldn’t be able to live with himself if any of this were to happen once more.

“okay. alright, i won’t do it again,” you eventually declare, as softly as the way you run your fingers through the strands of his hair. “i promise i’ll call you next time it happens.”

you feel him nod, barely, a silent ‘okay’ escaping him. the vulnerability in the room is soon replaced by a comforting silence, and you’re equally hit by the relief that everything is finally okay—save from the bruises that are yet to heal.

“i have to say though, i’m impressed you got that many punches in.”

“make up your mind already, do you want me to fight or not?”

[quixotical-lymbo]

howdy! hope your day is going well

if you're comfortable with it, could I please request macaque x reader general fluff headcanons?

reader is transmasc (or just male if you're not confident in writing that), chubby, very affectionate, and loves cooking.

thank you in advance. if you're unable to do this then I completely understand! 👍🏿

Warnings/Tags: Post-S2, Trust issues, tooth-rotting fluff, brief implications of self-esteem issues, Macaque being an asshole.  Word Count: 900+ words 

 How you two met: It was an accident, honestly. Macaque wasn't even supposed to be hanging around people's apartments like some weirdo–but he had a bad run-in with a few old 'friends' in the neighborhood and he happened to pick the apartment with an opened window. Before he could leave the next morning, you had already seen him. Surprisingly, you offered to patch up his wounds and shelter him until they healed enough. Reluctantly, he agreed. 

First impressions: Macaque thought you looked weak and were too naive. Given by your rounder physique and softer features he assumed you wouldn't hold up against him in a fight if it came down to it. Those are some of the reasons why he agreed to stay with you at first. You thought this stranger was pitiful and lonely. Not only was he banged up badly, but he seemed…troubled and in need of a friend or two. 

How you two acted around each other as….: 

Acquaintances? Somewhat guarded, but that was a given since the two of you only shared each other's names before retreating to your own sections of your apartment. Macaque had the living room and couch, while you had your bedroom or the kitchen to whip something up for him. Basically, you two were unspoken roommates that rarely crossed paths unless absolutely necessary.

Friends? Warmer, Macaque still doesn't fully open up to you, but him cracking a few jokes here and there makes the mood between you two lighten up. It definitely helped that you took note of his favorite dishes and showered him in baked goods. 

More than friends…? Woah, woah, woah, bucko. Hold your monkeys! Macaque couldn't…no he shouldn't…why does he want to get close to you, but at the same time want to run away? What were you doing to him, was this some sort of witchcraft or something? Macaque definitely had a realization that he was getting wayyyy too comfortable around you and would be cold/wishy-washy with you for a few weeks until you confronted him about it. 

It was then he decided to take a leap of faith for the first time in a while and spill out what he was feeling (he definitely didn't say EVERYTHING EVERYTHING, but it was enough to get his point across). 

Thankfully, you felt the same way—confused, yet weirdly comfortable around him unlike anybody else you've ever been around. It was more than a comfy feeling when you were around him, more of a need to be in his good graces and wanting to be a bit more than 'roommates.' Macaque made you feel..safe, if anything. 

What does Macaque love like about you?

He likes how compassionate you are, but also hates how generous and naive you can be at times which he admits he takes advantage of sometimes.

He likes  how he doesn't even have to ask for things when you're already one step ahead and give him what he needs/wants, whether that's a hot meal, tending to his wounds, or even just being there for him. 

Another thing he loves about you is how unapologetically courageous you are.

You aren't afraid of most things normal would be afraid of (heck, you don't even kill any bugs that crawl in your apt.), and you aren't afraid of who you are. 

Sure, sometimes he witnesses you in a few bouts of self-doubt whenever you stand in front of a mirror, but he's always there whispering nothing but praises into your ear before slowly guiding your eyes to the parts of you that he loves. 

Macaque won't admit it out loud, but the fact that his man can cook, bake, and is a good person without all the ulterior motive bullshit makes him more smug than ever.

It's not that you're a prize, object, or anything, but the fact you actually want him seriously is an ego boost for him. 

My man, my man, my man 24/7 365. 

It's time for some fun lil' tidbits!

Macaque was confused when he saw your old family photos feature two adults and what appeared to be the girl version of you. When you explained to him that it was you before fully embracing your identity, Macaque understood and hasn't treated you any differently since, you're still his boyfriend even if he doesn't understand why you like him that much. 

Whenever you pepper his face in kisses, his body freezes and he is just a statue while his tail just starts writhing before curling around your waist. When you first did this, you were a bit startled by his reaction but after being reassured that he liked it (just wasn't used to so much touch, or rather physical touch that didn't involve being punched or choked) you continued. 

He isn't a big fan of being hugged from behind, which you quickly found out after being pinned against the kitchen counter–after a few apologies, you baked his favorite desserts and cuddled him for the rest of the afternoon. 

He loves teasing you about that one incident when you walked in on him undressing. It was hilarious watching you scramble around trying not to look at him. 

🍜 - Please let me know if anything is amiss, this is my first time writing for a transmasc reader. I do not give permission for anyone to translate, copy, republish, or plagiarize any of my written works. I provide no permission for any of my literary works to be used in artificial intelligence. sparkle banner(s) by @adornedwithlight !!

[popcornforone]

ARE YOU NOT EDUCATED?!

A Mr Ben Fan Fic (with some surprises)

At the time of writing this after creating & editing a first draft of this fic, it’s just gone past midnight into Monday 24th March. The last week we were spoilt for Pedro content & when we get our man looking that good for so many days it’s hard to stop the creative juices going. So yesterday after I posted something on Saturday which took off, I decided to write a fic about it, & well once again Mr Ben is our suffering man for this.

Synopsis:- after the release of Gladiator 2 it’s all the kids at school can talk about so Ben asks you to come & sit in on one of his enthusiastic classes

Word count:- 8200

Warnings:-DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18! Oral sex 69, size mentioned, lots of innuendo, swearing, colleagues to lovers, unrequited love, age gap, alluding to more sex, teasing, fantasy’s, role play.

Thanks as always for stopping by & having a read peoples. It’s always really appreciated that you read these. Yea I know I was meant to slow down with the fics but I just can’t stop writing at the moment.

Monday second period, your free lesson, no kids, no interruptions, time to play catch up. You were halfway through grading a stack of essays when a familiar, slightly exasperated voice broke your concentration.

“Please tell me you’re free third period on Wednesday.” You glanced up from your desk to see Mr. Ben standing in your doorway, leaning against the frame with the world-weary look of a man who had just fought a long & exhausting battle except, instead of a battlefield, it was probably the high school hallway. His dark curls were slightly disheveled, & he was gripping his flask probably filled with strong coffee like it was the only thing keeping him alive.

“Uh…” You hesitated, already sensing whatever he was about to ask would be a lot. “Why?”

He sighed & stepped fully into the room, rubbing a hand down his face. “I need another teacher to monitor my lesson because my students have lost their minds. Every single one of them has apparently watched Gladiator 2 this weekend at the cinema, which, by the way, they are not old enough to see they are underage, & now they’re convinced they’re living in ancient Rome.”

You bite back a laugh. “Oh no.” You hadn’t had this issue yet, maybe your students knew to not bring it up with you. Where as they all see Ben as a much more fun teacher who would have probably seen the film this weekend. He had, you’d actually gone with him & a couple of other friends as a large group to see it. You did sit next to Ben & share popcorn with him while you fawned over Paul & Pedro on the big screen.

“Oh yes,” he said, dropping dramatically into the chair across from your desk. “I tried to start a lesson on the fall of the Republic, thinking it would at least make them read, & one of them actually stood up and shouted, ‘The Senate is corrupt!’”

You covered your mouth, trying not to laugh. “That’s… impressive?”

“It’s insufferable.” He gestured vaguely, looking at you like he was already regretting every life choice that had led him here. “They keep calling me ‘General,’ they refuse to sit unless it’s in some kind of weird, dramatic gladiator pose, & one kid actually tried to fight another kid with a ruler because he said he ‘had to earn his freedom.’”

At that, you couldn’t hold back your laughter anymore. “Okay, yeah. That’s a disaster.”

“Exactly!” He pointed at you like you finally got it. “So now I need backup. Someone to keep them from forming an actual underground fighting ring while I try to salvage my lesson.” He tilted his head slightly, giving you an exaggerated pleading look. “Please? For the good of the Republic?” Those eyes love to be big & pleading. So brown. So smouldering.

You rolled your eyes, still smiling. “Fine. I’ll help.”

Ben let out a dramatic sigh of relief. “Thank you. You are a true ally to Rome.” He winked.

You smirked. “Just promise me you’re not going to encourage them.” There was a pause. A very suspicious pause.

“…Define ‘encourage.’”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Ben.”

He stood there with a sheepish look, already backing toward the door. “See you Wednesday!” With his coffee in hand he made his exit, leaving you with the distinct feeling that whatever was about to happen in his classroom later this week was going to be absolutely unhinged.

You weren’t trying to look nice today. Not exactly. It’s just that… well, if you were going to spend a whole period sitting in the back of Ben’s classroom, watching him flail through whatever chaos his students had planned, there was no harm in making sure you looked presentable. So what if you spent an extra few minutes on your hair? Or picked a shirt that you knew looked good on you? That was just… professionalism. Totally normal. Absolutely not because of the way Mr. Ben somehow managed to make a button-down & rolled-up sleeves look ridiculously attractive every single day.

Nope. Not at all.

By the time third period rolled around, you were a nervous ball of energy for lots of reasons. You were already seated at the back of his classroom, casually checking your phone as you waited for him to arrive. The desks were empty for now, but you could practically feel the energy that was about to hit. Those kids were going to walk in like they were entering the Colosseum, & you were just here to keep them from actually killing each other & help Ben out in anyway you could.

Then, the door opened. In walked Ben. In a tunic!

Not just any tunic, a white Roman-style tunic with a fitted waist, draped fabric, & a damn leather strap slung over one shoulder like he’d just stepped off the set of the movie. Like he was actually Pedro Pascal.

Your brain short-circuited. He was still wearing his usual work shoes, & he had a coffee in one hand, but somehow, he still looked like he belonged on an ancient battlefield instead of a public high school classroom. Your fingers tightened around your phone as you stared, way too hard, at the ridiculous yet unfairly good-looking sight in front of you. You can feel the butterflies in your stomach.

Ben, completely oblivious to the effect he was having, blew out a breath & ran a hand through his dark curls. “Okay, before you say anything, just know that I tried to resist.”

You blinked, mouth slightly open. “Resist… what, exactly?”

He motioned vaguely at himself. “This. The whole… outfit.” Your brain was still buffering. “But then,” he continued, sighing dramatically, “I realized that if I don’t lean into it, they’re just going to push harder. So, I figured, fine. Let’s embrace the chaos. If they want a gladiator, I’ll give them a gladiator.”

Oh, you were so in trouble. You’ve had a thing for Ben for a while but this was now unlocking a fantasy you didn’t know you had. The white tunic, the knees on display, his hair all messy. It was going to make you a hot mess especially if he was going to use his strict teacher voice at the kids, that always made something brew inside your loins.

You swallowed, forcing your voice to stay even. “Uh-huh. & you think this is going to help?” Ben shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee like he wasn’t currently dressed like every history nerd’s fantasy.

“Honestly? I have no idea. But if we’re going down, we’re going down in style.”

You nodded slowly, crossing your legs to keep yourself from fidgeting. “Right. Totally. Very… strategic of you.”

He shot you a grin. “Glad you think so. You ready?”

Absolutely not. But before you could respond, the first wave of students started trickling in, & as soon as they saw him, all hell broke loose.

“GENERAL BENEDICTUS HAS ARRIVED!” One of them screeched, the madness began.

Ben barely had time to set his coffee down before the classroom erupted into full-blown hysteria.

“GENERAL BENEDICTUS HAS ARRIVED! Roma! Roma! Roma!”

Half the class immediately slammed their fists over their hearts in some kind of dramatic salute, while the other half started chanting. Ben sighed, rubbing his temples like a man who had seen too much.

“Guys, we talked about this. No cult-like behavior before noon.”

You, meanwhile, were still recovering from the sheer visual impact of him in that tunic, so you barely managed to stifle a laugh. A group of students suddenly realised you were there. Your little chuckle instantly recognisable. A few whispers started going around.

“Miss is in awe of your presence, General,” one of them announced solemnly.

You immediately choked on air. “That is not what’s happening, I’m merely here to observe” not that any child really paid attention to that statement. Neither did Ben, the absolute menace, he grinned as he addressed you staying in character.

“You hear that? You’re in awe.”

You shot him a sharp look, refusing to acknowledge the warmth creeping up your neck. “I’m in awe of how you still have a job.” That only made him laugh as he reached for his glasses, sliding them on in one smooth motion before ruffling his curls, because apparently, he needed to make this harder for you. Those thick frames make you feel so unnecessary. You swore he did it just to be annoying. Or worse, just to test you. Because now, with the slightly messy hair & those glasses slipping down his nose, he looked less like a ridiculous history teacher playing dress-up & more like some unfairly attractive historian who had just come back from excavating Pompeii. It was too much. You needed help. You needed divine intervention. You needed to not think about attractive mr ben is normally let alone right now.

But instead, you’ve got a classroom of unruly students, whispering like this was some kind of romance subplot in their imaginary Roman drama.

One kid leaned over to another and muttered, “The Empress is struggling to contain her feelings.”

Ben clapped his hands together. “Alright, that’s enough. Everyone focus, it’s time to learn.” Damn that strict voice made the heat rise even more.

Silence. Blank stares. One kid yawned. Another pulled out their phone. Ben sighed. “Oh, so now you’re quiet?”

One of the students shrugged. “It’s just, you know… we were expecting something a little more…” He gestured vaguely. “Inspirational.”

Ben arched an eyebrow. “You want inspiration?”

“Yeah! Like, something that moves us. Like Maximus or Lucius did.”

A slow, devious smirk crept across Ben’s face. without warning, he turned, swept his arm dramatically across the room & launched into a deep, commanding voice:

“What we do in life… echoes in eternity.”

You are trying so hard to play a poker face but it’s failing. This is not good for your own imagination.

The class lost their minds. Gasps. Cheering. Someone actually stood up & yelled, “HONOUR TO GENERAL BENEDICTUS!”

You? You just sat there, gripping your chair so tightly your knuckles went white, because of course the one time you had to monitor his class was the day he decided to be the most attractive man on Earth. Ben had no idea of the effect he was having on you.

The classroom was buzzing. The students were practically vibrating with excitement, fully buying into whatever delusions of grandeur General Benedictus had inflicted upon them. Ben, clearly thriving on the attention, paced at the front of the room like he was about to lead an army into battle. You, meanwhile, were still trying to recover from that damn what we do in life echoes in eternity moment. You were not recovering well.

“Alright, soldiers of Rome,” Ben called out, clapping his hands together. “Since you all think you’re gladiators now, let’s see if you’ve actually learned anything.”

Once again Silence. The students, so loud just a second ago, suddenly looked anywhere but at him, textbook signs of kids who definitely didn’t do the assigned reading. Ben let out a long, dramatic sigh. Then, with a slow turn & a sharp flick of his wrist, he pointed straight at them.

“ARE YOU NOT EDUCATED?”

The students erupted in laughter. Someone pounded their desk. Another kid actually fell out of their chair. This was the most chaotic & most engaged you had ever seen a class.

But You on the inside, You were so done.

“Oh my god,” you muttered under your breath, pressing your fingers to your temples. Ben just smirked. Smirked! Like he knew exactly what he was doing & was loving every second of it. If he wanted to be that dramatic, then he’d better start actually teaching something.

“So,” he continued, rolling his shoulders back. Such big broad shoulders that you had tried to rest your head on in the cinema when this outfit was on the screen almost dropping hints to him that he could be your general “Let’s try this again. Who can tell me what the phrase strength & honor meant in the context of Roman military culture?”

Silence. More averted gazes. You sighed. Classic kids.

Ben, still ever the optimist, scanned the room, waiting for someone to answer. When no one did, he huffed & turned toward you.

“My lady?”

Your brain crashed.

Like, full system shutdown. Because first of all… my lady?!

Second of all, he had said it so smoothly, like it was the most normal thing in the world, like it wasn’t a one-way ticket to your complete& total flustered demise. Like he had been Acacius trying to seduce his wife in the film. Heat flooded your face instantly. You were absolutely sure, that you had just turned the exact shade of a ripe tomato.

“W-what?” you croaked, barely processing the question.

Ben raised an eyebrow, clearly amused at your sudden inability to function. “Strength & honor. What did it mean?”

Oh. Right. The actual lesson. You’d completely forgotten this was actually happening.

You cleared your throat, trying to will yourself back to sanity. “Uh, it was a motto used by Roman soldiers. It represented their loyalty to Rome & their personal code of ethics, courage, discipline, self-sacrifice.”

Ben grinned, snapping his fingers. “Exactly! See? At least someone did the reading.”

The students barely reacted, still caught up in the fact that their history teacher had just called you my lady.

You could feel them staring at you. Whispering. Giggling. Just to make it worse, one kid whispered, “The General & his Empress… a forbidden love.” But it was near you & loud enough that you could hear it.

You wanted to die.Ben, oblivious as ever, just sighed dramatically. “Can we please focus?”You were never going to live this down.

Ben then actually started teaching, everything still chaotic but getting calmer. A bit like the senate in Rome. You were so close to regaining control of yourself. Sure, you were still vaguely overheating from the my lady incident, but at least Ben had moved on. At least the students were somewhat engaged again.

“Alright, let’s talk about the structure of a Roman legion. Who can tell me how it was organized?” Ben asked the class. Dead silence. The students just stared at him, their newfound obsession with gladiators clearly not extending to actual military formations. Ben groaned. “Seriously? Nothing?”Still nothing.

You sighed, pushing back your chair as you stood up. “Okay, come on. You all know at least something about this.” The moment you moved to the front of the classroom, the energy shifted. You had co taught in the past but usually he was in a blue shirt & you hadn’t put as much effort into your look as you had today.

A low murmur ran through the students. Smirks. Whispering. Your stomach dropped. You had just hand-delivered them a golden opportunity to make things worse.

Ben, still completely unaware, just gestured toward you. “See? She believes in you. Show her that her faith is not misplaced.”

One of the kids leaned forward, grinning. “Ohhh, she believes in you, General.”

A chorus of ooohs swept through the room.You froze.

Ben turned to you, frowning in confusion. “Wait, what?”

More snickers. Another kid stage-whispered, “Our Empress stands beside her General at last.” You could feel your soul leaving your body. It’s hard enough to get kids to respect you at school but now, this would spread like the plague.

Ben blinked at the class, then looked back at you. Really looked at you. & after many years of being colleagues & friends finally, it happened. You saw the exact moment realization dawned on his face. The slightly widened eyes. The way his breath hitched just barely. The slow, dawning comprehension that maybe, just maybe, this was affecting you a little more than it should. Your lips parted slightly, your whole body tense, praying he wouldn’t say anything. Instead, being Ben, the hapless fool he is, made it worse. His mouth curved into a slow, dangerous smirk.

“Oh,” he said, voice dropping just enough to be dangerous. “I see.”

No, you don’t see anything, shut up shut up shut up.

Before you could form a single coherent thought, he turned back to the class, hands on his hips like he was thoroughly enjoying this. “Alright, settle down,” he said, his usual easy confidence returning. “The Empress & I are here to teach, not provide entertainment.”

Laughter. Absolute chaos. Someone actually clapped. You were done. Absolutely, completely done. worst of all? Ben knew it now. You could see the amusement in his stupidly handsome face. The awareness. You were so screwed.

Eventually bell finally rang, cutting through the chaos like a lifeline. You had survived just. Ben was in his element in lots of ways. Students grabbed their things, still whispering & giggling as they filed out. One of them actually had the nerve to pause by the door, hand over their heart, & declare, “Strength & honour, General. & … best of luck with your Empress.”

Ben barely held back a laugh. “Out.” You said sternly. The kid grinned & bolted before you could put them in detention for sassiness. just like that, the classroom was empty. Except for you & him. You exhaled, pressing a hand to your forehead. “Well. That was…”

Ben leaned against his desk, smirking. “Educational?”

You gave him a deadpan look. “I was going to say insufferable. But sure. Let’s go with educational.”

He chuckled, arms folding over his chest, the fabric of that damn tunic pulling across his broad manly shoulders in a way that was deeply unfair.

“Hey,” he said, tilting his head at you. “You survived.”

“Barely.” You scoffed. You turned to grab your things, determined to get out of this room before your body temperature spiked again. But then, because the universe clearly hated you, Ben spoke again.

“You know,” he mused, “for someone who came here to keep my class in order, you seemed pretty entertained.” You froze. Slowly, so slowly, you turned back to him, carefully schooling your face into neutrality.

“I was entertained,” you admitted, tilting your head. “Your theatrics were… impressive.”

Ben let out a low, amused hum. “Uh-huh.” He was looking at you now, not just with the usual casual charm, but with something… else. Something you couldn’t quite place. Before you could think too hard about it, you added, because clearly, you hadn’t suffered enough yet:

“Plus, you did look the part.” The words left your mouth before you could stop them.

Silence. Tension that the sharpest Roman blade would find hard to cut. Ben’s eyebrows lifted slightly, that slow smirk returning like he knew exactly what you meant.

“Oh?”

Oh no. Abort. Abort! Your brain thinks but your heart is leaping with joy.

“I mean…”You waved vaguely at his tunic, grasping for literally any escape. “The outfit. It worked.” Again the wrong but right thing to say. Ben watched you, eyes flicking over your face, his smirk deepening.something had shifted. The teasing was still there, but underneath it, there was something quieter. Something sharper. Like he was actually seeing you. For the first time today, maybe for the first time ever, you weren’t sure you could handle it. Your own little crush no one knew about had been fine for you to secretly have on Ben but now you could see it his eyes… he knew.

You cleared your throat, grabbing your bag. “Anyway, I should go.” Ben was still watching you, something unreadable flickering behind his eyes. As you reached the door, he called out,his voice lower, softer:

“You really think I looked the part?” You didn’t dare turn around. Instead, you just threw a look over your shoulder, as casually as possible:

“Don’t let it go to your head, General.”

“Of course not…” there was a slight pause before you left & then you heard him say those two words “…my lady”

You left quickly back to your own class room, before he could see the ridiculous, completely flustered smile that had taken over your face.

You had almost recovered. Almost. How you taught period four you had no idea at all but you got through it. You were desperately trying to focus on your actual job, shoving any & all thoughts of General Benedictus out of your mind, & those rather stunning knees.

Ben was already in the teachers’ lounge when you walked in at lunch time, back in his usual teaching look, blue shirt lose tie. Not your favourite though he only wears that on parents evening.

Because the universe loved to torment you today, he was mid-conversation with another staff member, loudly recounting his lesson. You hesitated at the door, debating if you should just turn around & starve, but it was too late. You were already here. You could do this. You’d just grab your lunch, not make eye contact, & pretend like Ben hadn’t spent an entire period unknowingly ruining your life. Easy… or so you think.

You headed straight for the fridge, determined to keep your head down, however Ben’s smooth voice carried across the room. Always music to your ears.

“I mean, I knew they’d be excited about Gladiator 2,” he was saying, “but I did not expect full-scale reenactments.”

The other teacher, a geography guy from down the hall chuckled. “Yeah, I heard one of the kids say something about General Benedictus?”

Ben groaned. “Oh, that.”You stiffened, pretending to be very interested in your lunchbox. “They started calling me that the second I walked in,” Ben continued. “I figured if I didn’t lean into it, they’d only get worse.”

The other teacher laughed. “Well, they’re definitely invested. I overheard a couple of them still talking about it after class.”

Ben smirked, shaking his head. “Yeah? What were they saying?” Your heart started to race.

The geography teacher grinned, grabbing his coffee. “Something about ‘the General and his lady.’” You choked on absolutely nothing. Ben froze. You both knew by the end of the day the whole highs school would know. You are both doomed.

The other teacher frowned, looking over, not putting two & two together . “You okay?”

You cleared your throat, way too quickly. “Yeah! Fine! Totally fine!” Ben turned his head toward you so fast you were surprised he didn’t get whiplash. Slowly, his lips curled into a smirk. The menace of the man.

“Oh,” he said, voice way too entertained. “So you did hear all that.” You hated him. But you also wanted him.

Desperately trying to play it cool, you shrugged & grabbed your drink. “Hard not to, considering you’re basically broadcasting it to the entire room.”

Ben hummed, still smirking. “Huh. & here I thought you weren’t that entertained by my theatrics.”

Any bit of resolve & restrain from you was falling, crumbling like the Roman Empire.

The geography teacher, completely oblivious to the war happening between you two, just laughed. “Man, those kids are gonna be talking about this for weeks.”

Ben shot you one last look, smug, amused, interested, before turning back to him. “Yeah,” he said, lips quirking. “Something tells me this isn’t over.” You practically sprinted out of the room with your lunch. Because, judging by the way Ben had just looked at you, you had a very bad feeling he was absolutely right. There was nothing you could do to stop this plague of the general & his empress being the school gossip.

You barely managed to hold yourself together until you were out of the teachers’ lounge. The second the door swung shut behind you, you let out a sharp, frustrated breath. You didn’t know your heart could pump that hard & fast. Every nerve on edge. You stormed down the hallway, gripping your lunch like it had personally offended you. You weren’t even thinking about where you were going, just that you needed out. Away from the smirking menace that was Ben. Away from the way he’d looked at you, like he was considering something he never had before.

Your feet carried you straight to his classroom. Of course they did. It was auto pilot. On Wednesdays you & Ben always have a little catch up at lunch in his class before the afternoon lessons. You shoved the door open, dropped your lunch on a desk, & pressed your hands against the cool surface, trying to breathe. You needed a minute. Just one minute to collect yourself. To not think of that smug handsome face.

The door swung open behind you.

You knew who it was before he even spoke.

“Wow,” Ben said, voice far too amused as he leaned against the doorframe. “Didn’t realize my classroom was your personal melodrama retreat.”

You squeezed your eyes shut. “Oh god, just leave it for 5 minutes please”

Ben stepped inside, letting the door fall shut behind him. You felt him approach before you even turned.

“I mean, you did run out of there pretty fast,” he continued, his tone light but aware. “Almost like you were trying to avoid something.”

You whipped around, pointing at him. “Oh, don’t you dare…”

He raised his hands in mock innocence. “What? I’m just making an observation.”

You scoffed, grabbed you lunch & went to walk past him to head to anywhere he wouldn’t be. But Ben, of course, moved with you. He turned just enough to stay in your space, his smirk deepening as he watched you try to put distance between you.

“C’mon,” he drawled, voice dangerously smooth. “Tell me the truth. You were a little entertained today.” He was close enough you could hear his voice reverberate. Sounding so soothing. Ben leaned in slightly. “Also…” His voice dropped just a bit. Just enough to really ruin you. “You did say I looked the part.”

You whirled on him, eyes flashing. “I hate you.”

He grinned. “No, you don’t.” The tension was suffocating now.

Something tight & hot crackled in the space between you, heavy enough to steal your breath. You swallowed hard, pulse hammering as you forced yourself to hold his gaze. “You…” Your voice came out shakier than intended. “You are the most insufferable man I have ever met.” Ben tilted his head, studying you. His smirk faltered for just a second. His eyes flicked to your lips. that was when you knew. He wasn’t just teasing anymore. He felt more .He wanted you flustered. He wanted this tension. He wanted you.

Your breath hitched.

Ben exhaled slowly, his voice turning low—thoughtful.

“…Huh.”

You swallowed. “What?”

Ben’s tongue flicked over his bottom lip, his gaze burning now. “Just thinking,” he murmured. “Maybe the kids were onto something.”Your stomach flipped. Because suddenly, you were the one being studied. You were the one making him pause.The tension was too much.You needed to get out.

Now!

Without another word, you spun on your heel, practically running for the door. Ben didn’t stop you. But as you yanked the door open, his voice followed you, soft, teasing, and way too damn smug.

“Speak later, my lady.” You slammed the door shut behind you. Ben on the other side of the door just smiled. Feeling his own butterflies. Wondering how his heart had never felt this way about you before.

You had never been so happy to see the end of the school day. Back home, no kids, no gossip, no Ben or General Benedictus. You had done everything in your power to shake off the day. You’d taken a shower. You’d put on comfy pajamas. You’d made tea, curled up on your couch, & sworn to yourself that you weren’t going to think about him.

Yet Here you were, staring at your phone. Almost like you were manifesting it as you opened your messages, right there, was his name on your screen. New message to read.

Ben: So. About today.

You blinked.Oh, hell no.

You couldnt help it though. You were typing back before you could stop yourself.

You: No.

Three dots appeared almost instantly.

Ben: What do you mean, “no”???

You groaned, flopping back against your couch. Of course he was doing this. Of course he wasn’t letting it go.

Another message popped up.

Ben: C’mon, admit it. You had fun today.

You hesitated.Your fingers hovered over the keyboard, torn between ignoring him &…well …Being honest. Because you had fun. You did. You always did with him. Even when he was an idiot. He was your friend, your idiot & you wanted him to be more than a friend. Even when he was making you want to tear your hair out. You needed him more than air especially, when he was making your stomach flip with nothing but a smirk a

& a well-placed my lady. You exhaled sharply, shaking your head before finally typing back.

You: It was tolerable.

Ben’s reply was instant.

Ben: Tolerable?? Wow. Okay. I see how it is.

You smirked, suddenly very pleased with yourself.

You: Glad we’re on the same page.

A pause. Three dots… & then

Ben: …And what page is that, exactly?

Your breath hitched. Because that… that was flirting. The menace. The smug handsome menace. You bit your lip, heart hammering as you stared at the screen, trying to figure out how to respond

…Another message.

Ben: Because personally, I think we’re on a very interesting page.

You froze.Your pulse roared.Oh.Oh. Not that he could see you getting flustered, but you felt like he could. Ben was not just teasing anymore. He was doing this on purpose. Your stomach flipped, for a split second, you considered throwing your phone across the room, changing your number & running away. But that was to irrational. Instead, you took a steadying breath &typed back, pulse racing.

You: And what kind of page would that be, General?

This time, his reply took a little longer. when it finally appeared, your entire body burned.

Ben: Wouldn’t you like to know, my lady?

Oh, you were so in trouble.

You had barely slept. Which was entirely Ben’s fault. When you did eventually get some

Sleep, your dreams were filled with him wearing that costume, smiling like the cat with all the cream & also adjusting his glasses in the sexiest way. After that conversation last night, especially the teasing, the my lady, you had spent hours replaying every little moment from yesterday, overthinking everything.

Now on Thursday you were sitting at your desk, nursing a coffee like it was the only thing keeping you alive, desperately trying to pretend like you weren’t waiting for him to show up. Because of course he was going to show up. He was Ben. Even without his information he liked to pop in each morning to see how his friend was… now the tension & unspoken words meant more than friends was very much on the cards. when the door finally opened, & he stepped inside you felt the flutter of your heart. Yeah. You were so screwed. Because Ben wasn’t just Ben today. He was smug Ben. Ben with a purpose. & this Ben, well he was wearing your favorite tie.

You froze. It wasn’t parents evening, this was a deliberate choice for you… for his empress eyes only. Ben smirked, strolling in with zero shame, his hands tucked in his pockets like he knew exactly what he was doing.

“Morning,” he said casually. God that voice was so enchanting. Your eyes flicked to the tie. Then back to his way too pleased face.

“You’re wearing that on purpose,” you accused.

Ben tilted his head, all faux innocence. “Wearing what?”

You glared. “The tie.”

Ben glanced down at himself like he’d just now noticed. “Oh. Huh. I guess I am.”

You groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Well it’s still a nice tie” he shrugged at your words. “your impossible somethings you know that”

Ben chuckled, stepping closer. “You said that yesterday too. Starting to think it’s your pet name for me.”

Your face burned. Like you had been a naughty student being told off by her favourite teacher.

Before you could snap at him, he pulled something from behind his back, a coffee. Your favorite coffee. He placed it on your desk with a smirk. “Peace offering.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, suspicious. “Why?”

Ben shrugged, his voice dipping into something softer,something almost sincere.

“Because I was kind of an ass yesterday, it was kinda fun though,” he admitted. “& because…” His lips twitched. “I don’t want my lady holding a grudge.”

You hated how much that stupid nickname made your stomach flip. You sighed, glancing at the coffee. “You’re so lucky I need caffeine.”

Ben chuckled. “I know.”

Yours in your mug had gone cold so because you were weak, you took a sip. It was so good. You let out a little moan, this was when Ben moved closer. Close enough that the air shifted. Close enough that you could smell him, his stupid cologne, the faint scent of coffee on his breath. Close enough that your heart stumbled, because suddenly, it didn’t feel like teasing anymore. It felt like something else. Something bigger. Something dangerous. Something desired.

You swallowed hard, setting the cup down with slightly shaky hands. “You should…”You cleared your throat your voice trembling & betraying you. “You should go before class starts.” Ben didn’t move. His gaze flicked down, to your lips, which you didn’t realise were pouting.Then back up. Slow. Intentional. & so very hot. Your breath hitched.

finally, Ben exhaled, stepping back with a knowing smirk.”See you later, my lady.”

He left you staring as he walked out, trying to comprehend its all, gripping your desk, completely ruined.

The day had been torture. Ever since Ben waltzed into your classroom that morning, smirking, wearing that tie, giving you your coffee, he’d been everywhere. Usually this is nice but after the recent developments of the last couple of days this was suddenly impossible. Walking past your door at just the right moment. Flashing you a look during lunch. Brushing just a little too close in the hallway. Every single time, it sent your brain straight into dangerously unprofessional territory. With that & kids from all year groups asking you about his infamous history lesson, You’d barely made it through the day.

Just before the final bell, you found yourself back in his classroom. Alone. The excuse had been flimsy at best, something about checking on a lesson plan, making sure tomorrow’s class was set, but the truth? You had caved. Because avoiding him clearly wasn’t working. Neither was pretending you didn’t want him just as badly as he wanted you.

You stood near his desk, fingers tapping against the edge, when the door opened behind you. You didn’t even have to turn around. You knew who it was.

Ben’s voice was low, teasing. “Couldn’t stay away, huh?”

You let out a sharp breath, turning to face him. “You are”

“I know,” he smirked. “Impossible.” You glared, but your own eyes danced at him betraying you. Ben took another step closer. “Admit it,” he murmured, tilting his head. “You’ve been thinking about it all day.”

You swallowed. “Thinking about what?”

Ben’s gaze dropped, to your lips. Your stomach flipped.

“This,” he murmured.

His large hand cupped your face, your eyes locked, warmth filled you veins as your lips parted & then he kissed you.

It wasn’t soft. It wasn’t hesitant. It was everything he had been holding back. His hands found your waist, pulling you against him, & god, he kissed like he meant it. Like he had been dying to do this. Like he had no intention of stopping anytime soon. Your fingers curled into his shirt, your body melting into him, holy hell…this hot & it was happening. After all the teasing. After all the tension. It was bloody happening.

Crash!

The door swung open. A chorus of outrageous teenage gasps filled the room.

“Ohhh my god!”

“Called it! Called it!”

“THE GENERAL & HIS LADY.”

You ripped yourself away from Ben, mortified, while he just groaned, rubbing his face.

“Jesus Christ,” he muttered. You turned to face the students, who were, at this point, losing their minds.

One of them dramatically clutched their chest. “Sir, I feel betrayed.”

Another wagged their finger at you both. “So that’s why she was in the back of the class yesterday, she wasn’t just observing; she was admiring.”

Ben let out a deep sigh. “Alright, that’s enough. You all have classes to get to” It did nothing.

One kid just grinned at you. “Miss, was the lesson that entertaining?”You wanted to die.

Ben turned to you, clearly biting back a smile. “You did say you were entertained.” You digged him in the ribs, Hard.

The kids absolutely lost it, Ben just laughed, because now, neither of you had any chance of pretending this wasn’t real. You didn’t want to. You were ecstatic Ben felt the same way as you.

Some of the kids dispersed & left the door & you saw this as your moment to leave too. You had made it maybe three steps out of Ben’s classroom before a very firm hand wrapped around your wrist, tugging you right back inside.

The door now shut. Just you & your man. The kids all off to their lessons their little display they had witnessed now private.

Ben wasted no time & pressed up against the desk, staring up at a very smug, very smirking Ben. You exhaled sharply, trying to ignore the way your entire body thrummed at the closeness.

“Running away?” he asked, voice way too amused.

You glared. “You’re insufferable.”

Ben just hummed. “& yet, here you are.”

Your pulse roared. Because he was right. You were here. & you weren’t running. Not anymore.

“I’ve always been here Ben, it’s always been you” you run your hand through his hair.

Ben studied you, his smirk softening just a bit.

“So,” he murmured, voice dipping into something dangerous, “are we going to talk about what just happened?” You swallowed hard.

“Well,” you managed, trying to sound casual, “we did just get caught making out in your classroom, so…” you face can’t hide your delight.

Ben groaned, closing his eyes. “Don’t remind me.”

You grinned. “Oh, we will never be allowed to live this down.”

His eyes flicked open, burning now. “That so?”

Your stomach flipped. “Mhm.”

Ben tilted his head, watching you closely. “Y’know,” he mused, voice dropping just enough to ruin you, “I actually kept the costume.”Your breath hitched. Oh, that was dangerous information. Your lips parted slightly, your brain immediately spiraling into places it shouldn’t…

Ben noticed. He always notices even when he thought he didn’t.

His smirk deepened. “Oh, you like that, huh?”You refused to give him the satisfaction of an answer. But your face, the way it burned, the way your gaze flickered just slightly, betrayed you.

Ben grinned. “Wow,” he teased, “& here I thought you were all prim and proper”

“I am into roleplay,” you cut in flatly, surprising even yourself. Ben froze. You saw it, the slight stumble, the way his pupils dilated. His tongue gliding over his bottom lip.

“Ohhh,” he murmured, stepping closer—too close. “You’re going to be so much fun.” Your breath caught.

Before you could think, before you could stop yourself, you leaned in slightly, just enough to whisper, “Isn’t that right, Benedictus ?” Ben froze solid. For the first time all day, he was the one caught off guard. His jaw tensed. His fingers twitched against your hip. His entire body stilled as something hotter, something darker, flashed in his eyes. Suddenly, you were the one in control.

Ben inhaled sharply, his gaze flicking over your face. “You’re playing a very dangerous game, my lady.”

You smirked. “Am I?”

Ben exhaled through his nose, shaking his head. “You have no idea what you just started.”Your heart pounded. Then just as he leaned in, just as you swore he was about to ruin you completely.

A knock.

You both jumped back as the door creaked open slightly.

“Uh, sir?”

You turned, only to see one of the students from earlier, barely holding back a shit-eating grin.

“We forgot our books,” they said, clearly lying, their eyes flicking between the two of you.

Ben sighed, rubbing his temples. “Jesus Christ.”

The student just smirked. “You’re welcome.” They bolted, laughing way too hard as they ran down the hall. Ben groaned. You just grinned, grabbing your bag & heading for the door. But just before you stepped out, you leaned in one last time, letting your lips brush his ear.

“Strength & honor, Benedictus .” Leaving Ben standing there, stunned, breathless, & completely ruined. This was so not over. Not by a long shot.

One thing lead to another & it was soon Friday night. You were sat on Ben sofa, an occurrence that happened from time to time as friends. It’s usually at this time in the evening you either ask for a pillow & blanket so you can crash at his or he puts the two of you in a uber so he can make sure you get back to yours safely before taking the exact same uber back to his. He was always a gentleman to his lady, he had never truly realised it until earlier in the week.

What at the start of the week had been a friendship had tonight ended up with the two of you at a nice steak house, longing glances over wine, hand strokes, moments where silence was all the was needed, & kisses tasting better then the delicious meal you had eaten. This was more than friends. You sat in the sofa trembling a little, wondering where Ben was he had been gone a while. Had he gone to bed & forgotten about you sat on his sofa?

“My lady” you hear bounce off the walls breaking the silence.

“My gen…” you don’t complete the sentence as you turn your head to his direction. The room is now filled with your laughter. There he is. Back in his Roman costume. The white glistening, the cape swishing, the hair messed up. He’s showing off his broad shoulders & Tiny waist. Those knees, oooh they made your own go weak. He look’s ridiculous & exquisite at the same time. The smirk on his face twitching. Clearly he is glad this has an impression on you.

“Tell me, if we were the general & his wife, how would I court you?” He asks. “Would I bring you flowers, would I bring you wine, would…”

“Your favourite tie, bringing me coffee & your sexy glasses is all I’ve ever needed Benedictus” you interrupt & slowly get off the sofa making your way across to him. You hesitate at first to touch him but then see the want in his eyes so your hands glide over his shoulder. You let out a deep sigh, inhaling his scent. Always arousing.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“cos your much older & way out of my league”

You say looking down stroking the soft material. He then grabs under your chin & lifts it. The eye contact intense, his words from the soul.

“I may be slow at picking up signs, but if you’d let me know much sooner, we could have been addressing this along time ago” his thumb trails over your lips. You stand on your top toes to make sure those lips connect with his. Deep, powerful & emotional, like this kiss has been built up for years, which in your head it has. His hands were caressing your neck as the kiss got steamier before one of them slid to your back & slowly started work on the zip on your dress.

“Maybe this needs to happen somewhere more grand for a general” you say, breathy already. Radiating arousal at his touch as the zip reaches your lower back.

“Only the best for my lady” he says before he scoops you up into his arms & carry’s you to the bed you have long dream or of occupying.

Ben lays you down gently on the bed, his hands never leaving your body, as if afraid this might all vanish if he let go. You reach up, fingers immediately finding the soft folds of his cape, tugging at it slowly until it slips from his shoulders & you discard it onto the floor. Your eyes trail over him, the absurdity of the costume, the way he somehow manages to make it sexy. The chest plate is next, & as you unclip it, your knuckles brush against warm skin & tense muscle beneath. Ben watches you, breath heavy, lips parted, not saying a word. His gaze is hungry. Focused. Mush like a general about to conquer what’s rightfully his.

“Tell me,” you whisper as you reach for the fabric at his waist, “did they make underwear in ancient Rome?”

Ben huffs a soft laugh, tilting your chin with his finger. “For you? I’m going historically accurate.” & sure enough, when the final layer drops, he’s gloriously, completely bare beneath.

Your breath catches. You’ve seen him before, glimpses, tight shirts, damp post gym moments, but nothing prepared you for this. He’s all power & heat & perfectly ruined restraint, & somehow, still smirking like he knows exactly what he’s doing to you.

You sit up, sliding your dress off your shoulders & letting it pool around your waist before you shimmy it the rest of the way down. You’re in your underwear, but not for long. Ben takes over, unclasping your bra with skillful fingers before tossing it aside. He kisses down your shoulder, your collarbone, reverent, teasing, & hot as sin.

“Now,” he says lowly, voice rough & dark against your ear. “How do you want this?” Its commanding. He’s into this.

You bite your lip, emboldened by the haze between you. “I want to taste you.”

Ben’s breath catches. His hands flex at your hips. “Yeah?” he murmurs.

You nod, grinning as you push him back onto the pillows & crawl up his body, straddling his chest for a moment, teasing, before shifting lower. At the same time, he tugs you gently forward, guiding you with that same maddening patience he always has, only this time, it’s deliciously wicked.

Before long, you’re both shifting into place, mouths hungry, bodies aligned in that perfect, obscene symmetry. You moan against him the moment he slides his tongue over you slowly, expert, so Ben. He groans, hips jerking as you take him in your mouth in return.

It’s messy, hot, overwhelming. It’s worship & ruin & everything you’ve both been holding back. He tastes like salt & skin, & you make a mental note to thank the Roman gods for whatever twist of fate led to this exact moment. Just before the edge starts to creep in, before your entire body threatens to break from the pressure of it all, Ben pulls back just long enough to murmur, breathless against your thigh:

“Still entertained, my lady?” You just moan your answer because words? Useless now… & will be for the rest of the night.

Saturday morning & Ben’s bedroom was a mess. The sheets were tangled & smelled of you. His gladiator costume was somewhere on the floor, a discarded relic of the absolute sin that had taken place. You were still breathless. Your body was boneless, melted into the mattress, your skin still buzzing from everything he’d done to you the night before & this morning. Ben, equally wrecked, lay beside you, one arm draped lazily across your stomach. Neither of you spoke. Not yet. Still in a sexual haze of lust. Because neither of you had fully recovered. But the silence wasn��t awkward. It was warm & comforting. You look at your man, watching his magnificent chest rise & fall. Noticing every drip of sweat. He’s perfect. He’s your kind of perfect.

Your fingers lazily traced along his forearm, & Ben hummed, a low, deep sound that sent a pleasant shiver down your spine. Arousing you instantly. You turned your head, finding him already watching you. Smirking. The Smug bastard.

“You’re insufferable,” you muttered, voice hoarse from… well… Everything.

Ben chuckled. “& impossible” he added that made you laugh “yet…” His hand slid along your waist, pulling you even closer. “Here you are.”

Your lips twitched. He wasn’t wrong. You exhaled, tilting your head just enough to kiss him, slow, lazy, thorough. Ben sighed into it, his fingers pressing into your hip, his body shifting just enough to remind you, that He wasn’t done with you yet. His erection is already starting to form again.

When you finally pulled away, he gave you that look. The one that had ruined you in the first place. The one that meant trouble.

“Y’know,” he murmured, his nose brushing against yours, “I think that was my best history lesson yet.”

You huffed a laugh. “Is that so?”

“Mhm.” His fingers trailed absently along your thigh. “& you, make an excellent student.”

Clearly the role play of him coming home after a grand battle was now making him have even more of a teacher fantasy. You were only going to encourage it. You smirked. “Think I deserve extra credit?” Ben grinned, flipping you onto your back with zero effort, settling right between your legs.

“Oh, my lady,” he murmured, voice wicked & full of promise.”I think you deserve everything.”

Then he showed you exactly what he meant.

Again.

& again.

& again.

Making sure you really were entertained.

[edennill-archived]

Dorthonion-adjacent dashboard Simulator

❤️‍🔥goldenflame follow

What should one do if one ends up loving a woman one can never be with? Asking for a friend.

Wish I had talked about what it's like with my grandmother when I still could. But she got her wish at long last.

🎹 daemusic follow

Is she already taken? If not you can wait around and maybe she'll change her mind.

That's what I've been doing since I was an adolescent

❤️‍🔥 goldenflame follow

It's not that simple...

27 notes

🌸 lueth follow

354 notes

🩶 handmadegirl follow

It's almost finished!!

#embroidery #handcrafts #traditional costume #girl sews

54 notes

👤 wise-patience follow

normalise being angry at fate though

11 002 notes

🌫️ grey-s follow

was anyone going to tell me the elvenking is on here liking random posts by bëorians or was I supposed to learn this by having it happen to me

#I am not offended if you are reading this your Majesty just wow #I've never spoken to him in real life and it's like #I think I'm going to think about this for the next two years

43 notes

🌄 youraverageone follow

I'm leaving for the war in two weeks is there anything I should know

👤 warrior101 follow

basically if it's your first time you're going to get assigned on the inner border and you're never going to see battle as long as you're there so don't worry/reconcile yourself to that depending on what your attitude is.

unless the leaguer breaks but then I have no idea what it could be like since it's never happened before.

so yeah, bring some cards, board games or whatever. a stash of trinkets since the only thing people do half the time is gamble lol. things you're prepared to lose.

most the watchtowers are pretty well equipped so if there's any food from home you really can't bear to part with now's the time to learn how to prepare it.

decide whether you want to mingle with elves a lot or not because whether you do really depends on your posting and you can pull some strings to get assigned where you want. by which I mean ask nicely. it can be more strict on the outer border but for early timers it's pretty easy-going. also try to ascertain if you have any family you want to be with and where.

do not bring arms unless you have some heirloom of really good quality. no use lugging a piece of metal around when you're going to be told it's more danger to you than to hypothetical orcs and lent something better.

same with basically anything you don't have a proper version of. except blankets. there's always a shortage of blankets for no discernible reason - it's an injoke at this point - and you want to have several.

don't take letter paper. it hurts to see recruits arrive with a soggy mess in their backpacks when we've literally got reams of it in the storeoom.

🌄 youraverageone follow

thanks! 👍

117 notes

🌲inthepines follow

#memes only Bëorians will fully understand #dorthonionposting

449 notes

[starzdeath]

FOR THOSE KEEPING UP WITH SONIC AU COLLISION...

(reposted unedited as its own thing w/o the reblog. original is here)

You may remember that round one of the first mini collision was supposed to start today. However, after thinking it over the past few days, I have decided that the spring mini collisions, as well as the general sonic au collision planned for summer, will be canceled.

Even now, I have received absolutely no word from support regarding the current situation explained in the post above. The URL remains unavailable to claim despite being inactive. I do not know what is going on and I wish I did.

In fact, another one of my sideblogs @sonic-event-zone had also been removed a few days ago. Same deal with the collision, I didn't delete it and Tumblr didn't give me any prior notice. Fortunately, I was able to use the URL after 24 hours, unlike sonic-au-collision. But this still means I have to start the blog from the beginning.

As much as I had wanted to continue with the event, despite the original blog getting deactivated, I just can't. We are still three submissions short of what is needed to start the event. I had considered pushing back to the 20th but that would give me less time to create the brackets, set up the new collision blog, repost the rules, finish the masterguide, etc. etc.

Yes, I could have taken some AUs from the second mini collision and moved them to the first. Especially since a lot of people had listed they had no preference in regards to the date they were competing. But I decided not to. Because honestly? I am tired. Not only do I have this whole mess to figure out, but I still have a personal life with other stuff to navigate through. There are other projects I want to focus on.

I don't have the energy to properly run au collision right now and that wouldn't be fair to you all. I will run the collisions at some point, but that won't be until after I have the event set up again properly and I have the energy to host it right. That may be months from now.

If you were already signed up for the mini collisions, you will be saved a spot in the next collision that you are able to join. This spot is guaranteed for you unless there's a violation of the rules. You will be informed in advance about upcoming collisions and given the sign-up form days or maybe weeks before the tumblr or discord receives access. You have first priority.

I am really really sorry and I hope you guys understand. If you want to follow the new blog for when the collision finally returns, you can find it at @sonic-au-collision-zone

Thank you <3

[roboticchibitan]

Okay, I have officially ordered the button press! I have to make sure it works properly and make some premade button designs before I can set a date to post the designs and officially start accepting people's requests and food bank donations, but here's some general points to be aware of

I can't pay for shipping because I'm on SSI and even after my $22 raise on January 1st I still live off of less than $1k a month. I ship from the west coast of the US. If you need a shipping estimate before you can commit to reserving a pin, once the press gets here and I have a pin and mailer I can weigh, you can DM me your address and I will get you a shipping estimate.

Pins will ship via USPS unless you prefer another carrier (USPS is usually cheapest).

Because of the rules around receiving money when on SSI (basically, if money goes into a bank account, they take half of it out of my next check, but not if it goes in my ABLE account), it's best if you can pay for shipping via donations to my ABLE account. This requires bank routing information and is only available to US residents. However, I also have venmo if you're outside the US or don't have access to bank routing information for whatever reason. (edit: I'm not sure venmo is available outside the US so I might have to resort to paypal or something, we'll see!)

If you want to reserve a pin slot but need to wait to donate until you get a paycheck, that's fine. As long as you donate by Dec 31st you can reserve the pin when I make my post. Due to this policy, I will be shipping pins out the first week of January.

I haven't decided how many pin slots I will be offering because I need to see how hard operating the press is on my joints before I make any commitments.

Premade pin designs will be available for cost of shipping and a donation of at least $3 to a food bank. Custom made pins will be available for cost of shipping and a donation of at least $10 to a food bank

If there's no food bank in your area, one of my followers has contacted me about a nonprofit they work for that supports artists in the San Francisco Bay Area and part of their outreach includes a food pantry. I will provide a link to their website in a reblog of the official post whenever I make it

For custom pins, I am not a skilled artist (yet) so the best custom art I can offer is doodles. However, if you want to design the pin yourself, there is a website that has templates for various art programs, including photoshop. I will reblog this post with a link to it and if that gets lost for some reason you can DM me for the link also. A note: the reviews of the button press say that it can't handle anything other than regular printer paper, so that is what I will be printing on.

If you, like me, already donate to your food bank on a monthly basis, you can count December's donation in reserving a pin.

If all goes well with this little experiment, I will be doing this again in March for my birthday! So if pin slots get reserved quickly and you miss out, know that I will be (hopefully) doing this again later.

I'm going to limit this to one pin per person but if some pins aren't reserved then I will change this policy.

I will ask that you DM me a screenshot of your receipt that shows the amount you donated. I need this both as proof of donation and also because I want to keep a tally of how much has been donated as a result of this little project and how many people we've collectively fed.

Okay, I think that's everything at the moment. Feel free to reply to this post with any questions. I am making this up as I go along so I'm sure there's things I haven't thought about yet.

[blackheart-6]

noelle holiday age progression chart

without height lines

explanations of designs:

hi yall

so, i actually finished this drawing like a week ago lol. but i didnt want to post a bunch of drawing in a row, and then i got sick, so i havent been able to post it till now!

its my imaginings of what noelle looked like as she grew up, and a potential adult noelle design! ill explain my thought processes about these designs below, if anyones interested 😁

i also plan on doing one of these with dess, but this one was pretty difficult, so it might be awhile before that (unless yalls are interested in seeing it?)

first off, im not 100% sure ill keep using all these designs. some of them im not that happy with (im no good at designing outfits 😔) but i just went with them so i could finish the drawing. so if anyone has any alternative outfit ideas for any of her ages, id be interested in seeing/hearing it!

secondly, something that may stick out to yall for all the designs is how tall she gets. its the same height i normally draw her with, but given how i usually draw her by herself you cant really tell how tall she is! i have 3 main reasons for why i headcanon her as this tall: deer are pretty tall irl, so having her be tall makes sense in my head; i just like the look of her being super tall, it makes me happy lol; and third, i personally also headcanon the holiday family as boss monsters (i think ive explained this headcanon before on here, so i wont explain again, unless someone is interested ^^). so yeah, she ends up being 7 feet tall as an adult, the second tallest in her family!

also, i gave all her children forms stripes in some way, as a reference to when monster kid in undertale says they can tell frisk is a kid because of their stripes!

now onto my explainations for individual drawings!

theres nothing really to say about her baby design. the only thing i did that might be new is give her faun spots! they are most plentiful on her baby form, but they persist until shes in her teens, i would say (on here you cant see them after age 7, but thats just because i imagine they are mostly on her back). and i gave her a cute lil onsie that says a-deer-able! if you guys cant read it ^^

this outfit i made for her toddler design is actually an outfit ive used in the past! i wonder if yall know what drawing it was? its pretty much the same as it was there, i just added a stripe to the shirt. i felt like overalls are so reminiscent of childhood, i had to give at least one of her designs them! i also added a little mistletoe to the front pocket, to make it more christmas-esque. and i gave her some bandaids, just cause.

7 years old is one of the designs i really struggled on, and im still not happy with it. i dunno if ive said this yet, but i headcanon noelle to be trans, so at 7 is when i decided she started realizing it. so here i gave her long sleeves and pants, to show how shes more hidden now because shes unhappy with herself, if that makes any sense? i was also trying to make her look a bit like a nerd, with the button up and khakis, just because its funny. but yeah, ill probably end up changing this design at some point :P

11 years old was one of the easiest to do, considering how ive had her design for this age for awhile lol. one thing i did change was going from 2 red/white stripes to one, but ive done that before, so it wasnt something entirely new. i also gave her a smile and closed eyes, cause shes happy being a girl 🥰. other that that, its the same, so yeah, thats it for this part

okay, this next design is a fairly different looking one than all the rest, but i have my reasons! at this point in noelles live, dess has gone missing, so i wanted to show her being sad and stuff. i also gave her shoes and long sleeves because she probably goes out looking for dess when she can, hoping to find a lead 😭. but outside of in-story stuff, this outfit is based off of an old one i drew, but its fairly edited, so i wouldnt be surprised if no one recognizes it even if they have seen my old stuff. she has straight hair here, to show how unhappy she is (idk what it is about straight hair it just feels sad) and because i wanted to give her different hair varieties on this progression chart. i gave her antlers 2 prongs each at this point, because the way i see deer monsters, their antlers show their growth/aging, so youll see them getting bigger and having more prongs as the chart continues.

this outfit for 15 is another one i dont like. i tried to make it similar to her current outfit, but still pretty different. im not even sure what precisely i dont like about this outfit, it just doesnt feel that good. for this one i gave her leg warmers because i used to (and sometimes still do) draw her normal outfit with them. i gave her the curly hair she has as a callback to when i used to draw her hair like that! but yeah, ill probably end up redoing this one too

for 17, i just gave her the normal outfit, so it was easy ^^. in game i think shes 16, but close to turning 17, so i just went with 17 here to fit the +2 age pattern thing i had going on. i also gave her an extra horn prong than i normally give her, just to show age once again

finally, her adult design! i dont like this one either lol. i spent so long trying to think of what outfit to give her, but i couldnt come up with something i liked >.< so i just gave her something simple. i feel like once noelle graduates high school and probably goes to college she branches out more and tries things her mother never let her do, which is why i gave her an outfit like that, that has a crop top and a shorter skirt. also, yalls might recognize the hair style i gave her, i drew a potential adult noelle before and i gave her the same hair ^^

i think thats all for the post! i probably have more thoughts that im just not thinking of, but its fine for now. i hope yall enjoyed the drawing, and if you have any question or comments or whatever, go ahead and say them!! if youve made it this far, have a cookie, you must be hungry after reading so much ^^ 🍪

[megsironthrone]

Never Fake-Date Your Savior

Based on this request: : glad you’re back!!! i hope you and your hubby get to finish HotD soon! 👀👀 a while ago you wrote a sandor x reader drabble where he’s in the mafia/gang and protecting reader from the boltons by holding their hand? i was wondering if you’d be interested in doing a continuation where they’ve kept up fake dating to keep reader safe but on one of their dates, they both highkey admit they’ve grown to genuinely like the other? 👉👈 if not that’s totally ok, you can ignore this!!! 💌 hope you have a great day

Here you are lovelies!! This is the fic that the 1st place winner of Game of Characters chose to be posted next! *Familiar Characters are NEVER mine!*

This fic is a continuation of a drabble I wrote for my 2200 follower celebration

Warnings: Mentions of mob violence? Modern/Mob AU. Fake Dating Trope. Angsty-ish. Fluff.

Pairings/Characters: Sandor Clegane x reader

How did this happen? That was the question you’d been asking yourself for the last several weeks. Ever since you figured out who the man who’d saved you from Roose Bolton’s men was. You’d managed to trade one mob family for another. However, Sandor Clegane was nothing like Roose Bolton or his son. He had saved you the night you met him and had even given you his number so you could contact him as often as you felt unsafe. 

You told him exactly how you’d gotten on the Bolton’s radar and he called you stupid. It wasn’t said to hurt you, but rather to stress just how poor your decision making in your dealings with the Boltons was. You realized that when the Bolton’s men would not leave you alone. It got to the point where you were calling or texting Sandor every other day. It was getting tiresome, but luckily for you, Sandor came up with a brilliant idea.

“What?” you asked in disbelief as you stared at the scarred man. “As often as I see you, we might as well.” You merely stared at him as your brain processed his words. “Let me get this straight,” you managed to say after a few minutes, “You want to fake-date me and make it obvious until Roose and his cronies finally decide to leave me alone?” He nodded. 

“Look, they leave you alone whenever I’m with you. We might as well make sure that’s as often as possible without you having to pull me from work. And I don’t have to listen to your whinging every time you see them.” You glared at him. “I don’t whinge,” you muttered, but he heard you anyway and arched his brow. With a loud sigh, you said, “Fine. I know it’s the best idea we’ve got. So, let’s do it. What could possibly go wrong?”

*time skip*

Feelings. That’s what could go wrong. You developed feelings for Sandor faster than you ever thought possible. Spending so much time with him, day in and day out lead to you falling head over heels in love with him. And you were doomed. Sandor was not a man who expressed feelings easily and he certainly had a very bleak outlook on love. There was no way he would ever, ever return your feelings. 

You hid your growing adoration as best as you could. You stopped seeing him as often, which didn’t help the whole Bolton situation. You kept conversations shorter unless you were out in public together. Anything you could do to avoid confronting your feelings, you tried. Eventually, however, you couldn’t any longer. 

One evening, you and Sandor planned a dinner “date” and for some reason it made you even more nervous than usual. You couldn’t help feeling like something was going to happen. Good or bad, you didn’t know. Just something. You just knew that your life was about to change again. 

Dinner was a soft-spoken affair. That was typical. Sandor didn’t talk much and when he did, it was either quiet enough so only you could hear or loud enough the entire restaurant could hear. No in between. After dinner, you were still feeling a bit antsy, so you asked Sandor to walk with you through a nearby park. He agreed, but was even more quiet than usual. 

“What’s up?” you asked when you were finally away from a crowd of people. Sandor didn’t reply so you stopped walking and looked up at him. “Sandor…” He met your gaze and those deep brown eyes nearly had you drowning in them. “Are you okay?” He nodded, but you didn’t believe him and asked again. “Sandor, I know something’s bothering you. What is-”

“You.” You blinked and your jaw dropped open in surprise. “Oh,” was all you managed as you felt your heart twist in your chest. “I see,” you croaked out, willing the tears not to come. You would not let that man see you cry over him. 

“Why can’t I get you out of my head?” he asked, almost too quietly for you to hear, “You’re always there. I can’t take it anymore. WHY? Why do I always see you staring at me with those (e/c) of yours? You don’t look at me like everyone else does. Like I’m dangerous, which I am. My entire family is. You look at me like…like I mean something. ” 

At that, you felt the tears you wanted to stay away come to your eyes. “Sandor, you do mean something. You mean so much. I-I think I might…” you trailed off, unable to put your feelings into words. Instead, you stepped closer to him and placed a hand on his unscarred cheek. You gently guided him down so you could meet his lips, kissing him softly.

When you pulled away, Sandor was gazing down at you in surprise. He clearly had not been expecting that. While the two of you had shared small pecks, mostly on the cheek, to sell the idea that you were together, you’d never kissed on the lips before that moment. You gave him a soft smile. 

Then, as suddenly as your happy moment came, it ended. Sandor glanced up and a frown made its way to his lips. “Oh,” was all he said before backing away and heading in the opposite direction. You took off after him, confused until you looked over your shoulder. Bolton’s men. 

“Sandor,” you panted, “Wait!” He stopped and whirled on you, fire blazing in his dark eyes. He was furious. “What was that about?” you managed to ask. He gave you a look that said, “Are you kidding me?” 

“I knew we were pretending, but that was lower than I ever thought you capable of,” he growled. Your brows knit together in confusion. “What?” 

“Kissing me like that just because Bolton’s men saw us again. I know I’m no prize, but you didn’t have to…to-” he trailed off as you realized that he wasn’t angry. He was hurt thinking that you only kissed him because you were pretending. You had to remind yourself that the man standing before you hadn’t been shown real love in his entire adult life. “Sandor, I didn’t even know they were there. Honestly. I kissed you because I wanted to. I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time.” 

Sandor was silent, hanging on your every word. You continued, “When we started this, I was just grateful to be protected. But then I got to know you and spend time with you. I don’t know when or even how it happened, but I fell and I fell hard. I love you, Sandor and nothing else matters. Not what people think, not the dangers from any other “families”, not the Boltons, not even your brother. The only thing that matters at this moment is whether or not you love me too.” You answer came in the form of the giant man pulling you to him and kissing you breathlessly. 

(a/n: I hope you like it!)

Forever Tags: @fizzyxcustard @brewsthespirit-blog @etherealpotter @smalltownbigheart @frozenhuntress67 @cd1242 @gruffle1 @supernatural4life2022 @asgards-princess-of-mischief

Sandor Clegane Tags: @songoficecreamandfireworks @nkjktk @silversprings98

[fuck-customers]

So I have gotten a new job with slightly higher pay but full benefits (yay!) and it reminded me of something that happened while I was bellyaching about how I wasn’t hearing back from jobs while at work one day. Keep in mind, I had been applying for a new job since February of 2023 and I’m JUST NOW getting a new job that isn’t even in the field of what I went to school for.

The reason why I wanted a new job is because a) my boss wasn’t going to pay me more than $14.50 an hour, which no big deal I could theoretically make it on that, but I have basically $860 in monthly bills and that leaves me very little to keep stashed for emergencies or save up to buy a house and b) no benefits, no career growth opportunities, only one week of paid time off for an entire year with no accrual. The man deadass said that if I wanted to be paid more to go work for fast food (because around here they are starting fast food workers at $15.00 an hour with some benefits) then got butthurt whenever he learned I was actually genuinely looking for another job.

One day I was talking about how I hadn’t heard from a job I was very interested in when one of our annoying regulars (one who works at a museum, and claims to be a graphic designer but honestly doesn’t do real good work and makes my manager do most of the design work and claims it as her own - not to mention sticks her nose in everyone’s business and wants you to drop everything to do her stuff for her) overheard me and decided that she had a wonderful suggestion for me: “Why don’t you come volunteer at the museum?”

I responded: “What’s the starting pay?”

“Well, there’s not really any pay - we’re looking for volunteers mostly. There might be a chance you’ll get paid minimum wage but it’s every so often.”

“So, you want me to leave a job where I am guaranteed to get paid $14.50 an hour, to come volunteer at a museum where there is maybe a possibility I would get paid $7.25 ‘every so often’.”

I’m fairly certain I embarrassed her by saying that because she stared at me for a moment before trying to talk about something else but I continued badgering her just because I was so fed up with her at this point, “What about me saying ‘I wish this job that would be $18 with benefits would get back with me!’ translates to ‘Let me try to pitch this full time volunteer opportunity!’? I understand y’all need help just as much as the next business, but unless your boss is going to give me what I’m looking for I’m not going to come spend forty hours a week just volunteering somewhere for practically free whenever I want to make sure I can make rent.”

Y’all she left and didn’t come back for almost six months after that. She just recently started showing up regularly again and she’s still working for the museum - and complaining about how she doesn’t get paid what she’s worth for what she’s doing. Makes me wonder how she’s able to make ends meet if even she supposedly only gets paid minimum wage “every so often.”

Posted by admin Rodney.

[shaddork]

The Star that Wouldn't Die - Chapter 6

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

<Previous - Masterlist - Next>

Summary:

Math is not your strong suit, and through your teacher wanting you to get better, you and Jason make a new friend. A friend close enough that the two of you plan a surprise party for Jason’s tenth birthday.

Word Count: 3,325

a/n: this is coming out later that I originally planned, although there are a few reasons for that. 1. I'm nearing finals week, which means lots of studying. 2. I write primarily on the weekends and the last couple weekends I've been busy doing various things. 3. On one of my weekend outings I have expanded my collection of physical comics, and have been reading those lmao. 4. This chapter was fighting me for SOME reason, and I'm still not 10000% happy with it, but I'm at a point with it where it'll serve the purpose I need and feel OK posting it. But in other news, I have the full rough outline of all chapters done. Right now it’s looking like the fic will be approximately 25 chapters, and around 100k words. That is up to change depending on how the actual writing process goes.

--------------------------------------

Nine years and four months ago

English, history, art? Those subjects came easy to you. Math though? Math was horrible, awful. You wished you could skip doing math entirely.  Jason wasn’t bad at it, and he certainly tried to help you with your homework.But Jason trying to help you with your math homework was not going well. The two of you were still young and undisciplined, and not even thirty minutes into him trying to help you study, and the both of you were distracted reading a comic book or you were doodling all over your homework. 

You were so horrible at it that your teacher paired you up with another kid who was good at it, all in an attempt to get you to have an easier time with it. Sammy was a quiet kid. When you’d been introduced he’d simply stared at you for a moment before your friendly demeanour was kicking in. Introducing yourself and quickly breaking the tension. Two days of his assistance during class, and you were deciding that he was going to be one of your new friends, inviting him to play with Jason and yourself at recess.

He agreed, and although Jason didn’t seem excited about it, staring at the strange new boy wearily, you introduced them before announcing you needed to get going so you could claim the swings before someone else did. They were a hot commodity. And one of the more fun activities you could have participated in. 

The school’s playground was a bit run down, not in the nicest condition, much like the school. But you’d never known anything different, you didn’t notice the rust on the chains or the chipping paint jobs on nearly all the playground equipment. You simply saw a world of color and infinite fun to be had. Some days you played with the girls you were friends with, others you played with Jason, usually you tried to combine the two. 

You shouldn’t have been so worried about not getting the swings, a few smiles and nice words and whoever was using them usually agreed to take turns with you, even if they were weary of Jason. He wasn’t mean, but he certainly wasn’t nearly as outgoing as you were. Neither was Sammy it seemed. That could be fixed, people could be taught how to be outgoing. Jason was already getting better at being friendly with the other kids in class. 

You got to the swings in time anyways. And it only took a moment for the three of you to decide who got what swing. You ended up in the middle with the two boys on the swings next to you. “Do you like comic books Sammy?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never read any. Unless you count picture books.”

You gaped at him for a moment, Jason speaking up for you instead. He was good at that. One of the many things you adored about him, the way he’d fill in the blanks for people when you were at a loss for words. “She’s totally obsessed with comic books. But they’re actually pretty good.They’re way better than picture books.”

“You can borrow one of mine if you promise to give it back in good condition!” It was an easy offer, you were protective of your comics, but Jason had been bringing you new ones so often you were sure that if you simply asked him to get you a replacement he would. Devoted to you in a way you never would have expected him to become after your accidental meeting on your fire escape. 

Not that you were complaining. It was nice. Even if you did sometimes wonder how exactly he managed to get so many comics, but anytime you asked he simply brushed you off, smiling at you and moving on with the conversation. 

“Okay.”

“I’ll bring one tomorrow! I’ll make sure it’s a really good one. Do you like regular books then?”

“Yeah! I really like the grimm’s fairy tales book that my mom has. But she wont let me read all of them. Saying they’re too dark for me. But there’s a lot of other books she lets me read.” A book being too dark for a kid growing up on the east end was a funny thought. Even if not all the kids lived in Crime Alley like you and Jason, the east end was never truly safe. And the news played tales of horror that were worse than anything you’d ever read in any comic book. 

Your mother put very little effort into limiting what kinds of books you were allowed to read. There were still some limits, but so long as nothing in them scared you so bad you couldn’t fall asleep, and they weren’t what she deemed as “totally age inappropriate”, you had open access. 

You supposed that a difference between the violence in the comic books that you read, and the stories that the news played, was the the real world had Batman to quell some of the worries that came up whenever you caught a bit of a news story. Children being kidnapped, people being jokerized, anything and everything awful seemed possible in Gotham. But Batman there was to help prevent whatever he could with the help of his very young and colorful sidekick. 

A part of you wanted to meet Batman, but you also knew in order for that to happen you’d likely have to be in some sort of danger, which wasn’t something that you were trying to get into. It was something your mother had spent years teaching you how to avoid, how to be as safe as possible despite the unfortunate circumstances of where you lived. 

“It can’t be worse than the news.”

“I don’t get to watch the news.”

“Oh.” Both from you and Jason. Sammy was sheltered it seemed. If he wasn’t allowed to watch the news that likely meant that he lived in a slightly more safe part of the east end. Not that there were any perfectly safe parts in Gotham. Even the rich ended up being attacked and were at the city's mercy. 

The three of you lapsed into silence before beginning to talk again, about anything and everything your young minds could come up with. Classes, other students, assigned reading, what you wanted to be in the future. Jason didn’t know what he wanted to be, you wanted to be an artist of some sort, and Sammy wanted to be an astronaut. 

A lot of kids wanted to be an astronaut. 

After that first recess together, the three of you became a small friend group, going to recess together one day after another. Sometimes you’d still go hang out with the girls who you considered to be your friends, but they weren’t nearly as interesting as Jason and Sammy.

Similar to your own routine with Jason. Trading books and comic books with one another, Sammy joined into that circle. You’d give him whatever comic book you thought he’d enjoy, and a couple days later you’d get it back in the same condition as before. He started giving you and Jason some of his own books for you to read as well. 

Although he said that you two couldn’t annotate them. So he wasn’t included in the pass back and forth of annotated books. Nor would he let you draw in them, saying it would ruin the integrity of the book, that it was a crime to marr a book in the ways that you and Jason liked to. You did not share the same perspective, but he got the books back in the same condition as he’d given them to you anyways. 

Your math skills got better, you still hated the subject, but at least you were starting to be able to get better grades on the tests and things weren’t nearly as confusing as they had been at the start of the year. Addition and Subtraction were easy enough, but now they were adding new things into it that made your head hurt. Even with the help that Sammy was offering you. A passing grade was all you cared for though, and you were getting a new friend out of it as well. 

NIne Years Ago

In reality, you’d known Jason for awhile, nearly a year, but it felt like barely any time had passed. At the same time, Jason had become such a large part of your life, that you couldn’t imagine it without him. You’d never had a conversation with Jason about it, but it was easy to assume that he likely felt the same way about you. You spent at least a few minutes together every single day, how could you imagine a life without him? Even with the addition of Sammy into your friend group, you were still closer with Jason than you were with Sammy. Sammy was closer with you than he was with Jason. But the friend group worked. 

Jason’s birthday was rolling around, and you only knew because of the assignment that your teacher had you do at the start of the last school year. That day after class you’d run home and asked your mother to add Jason’s birthday into the calendar, otherwise you wouldn’t have remembered at all. 

A new school year was starting soon, and despite having a harder time seeing Sammy during the summer, you were determined to throw Jason the best birthday party you possibly could. Getting Sammy to come was the first step of the whole process.

Sammy was indeed from a slightly nicer part of the east end, enough so that his mother had refused to let him come to the apartments where you lived. But you could go to his house. 

Your mother took convincing, but she agreed to take you to Sammy’s apartment so that you could ask about setting a small party up at his house. With his mother's permission of course. And from there it was just figuring out the details. Your mother let you plan what parts of it could you, asking you what you wanted for food and desert, and leaving you in charge of getting a present for Jason. However, the adults would still be in charge of the majority of the work, communicating with one another in order to make sure that everything went smoothly. 

  The party would be quaint, for sure. But all you really needed was some food and a place to hold the celebration. You’d briefly thought about inviting more people to the party, but ultimately decided that Jason would have more fun if it was just himself, Sammy, and you. 

Food was decided to be pizza, and instead of cakes your mother would bake a small batch of cupcakes. Sammy had asked his mother for help with his present for Jason, but you didn’t know what it was going to be. You already knew exactly what you wanted to get Jason.

. As for how to get Jason there, well you had an idea. You wanted it to be a surprise. So on the day of his birthday you convinced him to come to your place, and read a couple of comics before your mother announced she had some errands to run and you two would go with her. 

Jason didn’t give it much of a second thought, going along with you easily. He’d run errands with you and your mother several times, so it wouldn’t put him on edge or thinking that something out of the norm was going to happen. You’d brought a comic book for the two of you to read in the car, which kept him distracted enough until you got to Sammys apartment. It was certainly nicer than your own, but it was still the east end. Nothing here was truly nice, truly safe. But that was Gotham in general, wasn’t it? Even if Sammy’s mother tried to shield him from as much information as he possibly could. He’d have to learn eventually. 

When the car stopped, you pulled Jason’s attention away from the comic book, gently prying it from his hands. “We’re here.”

“Why are we at Sammy’s house?” His brows were furrowed, he was certainly confused, but he certainly didn’t seem upset. 

 You were horrible with secrets, and you were already at Sammy’s house, so there was no reason to try and still keep it a secret. “Because it’s your birthday! And we wanted to surprise you for it! Come on.”

 Your mother wasn’t out of the car yet, but you were grabbing onto one of Jason’s hands and pulling him out of the car, leading him into the apartment and up to Sammys door. You’d been here a few times, mostly for math help once your mother had caught wind of how exactly you’d met your new friend. But you and Jason had asked to go have some play dates over at Sammy's house, and that was another way that you’d been here before. 

Your mother was only a few steps behind when you were knocking on the door. Sammy was the one to answer it. He was still a pretty quiet kid even after having known him for a few months, but he had started to open up some more to you in private. “Happy Birthday Jason! Ten years old now!”

“Yeah! You’re gonna be the first of us to become a teenager!” Only a few months older than the two of you, but that still meant he’d be the first to get a drivers license, and then you’d be able to have him chauffeur you around in your mothers car. Permitting that he was able to actually learn how to drive. You could use your mothers car to get around. 

It was an event that you couldn’t wait for, Jason driving you around to go get ice cream, or to go to the comic book store. Maybe you two would get a part time job at the same place. It’d be fun. So, so much fun. 

“You’re going to have to get your license so that you can drive us around to go get ice cream whenever we want!”

Jason’s eyebrow raised as he stepped in the apartment, finding a place on the couch to sit down. “Whose paying for that?”

“We’d get a part time job and take turns paying, obviously.” Sammy’s house was a shoes off type of household, and unlike Jason, you stopped to take off your shoes and set them by the door before making your way to the couch, shoving one of your socked feet into his face, giving it a gentle shove to the side before dropping your foot back down and moving so you were sitting criss cross on the couch. “We have presents, food, and cupcakes! It’s gonna be the best birthday you’ve ever had!” 

You didn’t know that was an extremely low bar, had no clue about that. But despite that, you were determined. You could have invited any number of the people you were friends with along to the party, but neither you nor Sammy thought that was going to have fit with Jasons preferences. Sure he was friends with the two of you, and you guys spent a lot of time together, but he wasn’t the most outgoing of kids. 

He didn’t have many friends. Sammy had a small group aside from you and Jason, and you? Well not all of them were friends, but you were at least friendly with the majority of the kids in school. Some people would have claimed that you were popular, but that likely wasn’t a proper description. Not when you spent more time with Jason than you ever had the group of girls who everyone seemed to follow on what was fashionable to wear. 

Sam was the one who thought about asking what order Jason wanted to do everything in. Chances are you were going to watch a movie after doing everything, until it was time to go home. “Presents or food first?”

“Food.” And with that it was decided. Sammy’s mom gathered the pizza, setting them all on different pieces of paper towels and handing them out to the three of you before chatting with your own mother at the table by the kitchen. None of you were bothered by their conversation, nor did you pay any attention to it. Simply eating your food. 

When you were done, each of you got one cupcake, and then Sammy was going to his room to get the present he’d gotten for Jason while you got your own from your mothers purse. You hadn’t wrapped yours up, didn’t have any wrapping paper to do so, but you hid it behind your back until Sammy had his and was in the room again. 

Sammy gave the gift to Jason, also unwrapped, but it was a book. A copy of Grimm's fairy tales. “You like reading. And I won’t give you my copy, but I got you your own! That way you can annotate it all you want.”

Jason took the book, turning it around in his hands briefly. He’d been smiling for the majority of the day, but his face lit up even more when he fully realized what exactly he held in his hands. Before opening the cover and seeing a simple “For Jay, from Sammy” written in the book. You felt as if your gift paled in comparison. Jason adored books, and one that Sammy adored so much but had never been willing to let him borrow? The drawing you did suddenly felt inadequate. 

“Thank you Sammy. I’ll tell you all my thoughts that I have while reading it while we’re at school, okay?”

“Deal!” Sammy turned his attention to you, saying your name “It’s your turn!”

You could feel your cheeks warm up, embarrassed. Sammy’s present had been so good and yours was…yours was something that he already had several of. This wouldn’t be the first drawing you gave him, not when his books were covered in the drawings that you made throughout nearly every single book that he owned. 

“Mine isn’t as good as Sammy’s…but here.” You pressed the neatly folded piece of paper into Jason’s hands, looking away for a moment, before forcing your attention back onto Jason. Even if your present wasn’t as good as Sammys, you were sure that Jason would still like it, and you wanted to see the way that his face lit up when he saw it. 

You were right, his face lit up when he unfolded the paper and saw the drawing of him with some of his favorite characters in the comics that the two of you had read together. You were tempted to try and include some of his favorite characters from books in it, but maybe that could wait until next year. When you had a better grasp on drawing things without having to have some sort of reference on how to do so. 

“It looks so great! I’m gonna cherish it forever. I’m gonna hang it up on the wall of my room!” And that night he went home and did exactly that. Hanging up the drawing that you'd made for him on his wall. You truly believed him when he said he’d cherish and keep the drawing forever. 

Your mother made sure to take a photo of the three of you together, Jason holding up the two presents that he’d gotten. Looking back on the photo years later, you couldn’t help but laugh at how the icing from the cupcakes was still smeared on your faces. It was a good birthday for Jason. It certainly wasn’t his last, no, but later in life he’d tell you this it was his first truly good ones, and the other good birthdays were the ones where you had been by his side for them. 

[tasty-littl-snack]

Wait, does this mean all our fav people from Watcher is fired? Oh boy, i am gonna miss them. The Watcher snark reddit is gonna have a field day with it..

I admit it is unfortunate and I can only hope that the people who were fired will get better opportunities, or that this decision will allow watcher to finally bring in a profit. I don't know if you noticed but every making watcher starts with Steven joking about how they are not profitable, and yet they decided to hire people full time to work with them.

That is not the case for most entertainment industry from what I gather, as most people work freelance. As much as I despise them, Try guys hired the new cast on a freelance basis. Watcher wanted to be different, and that got them where they are where they have to make decisions that are not seen as very progressiveonlineleftist of them. Which is obvious because as much as I love them they are CEOs of a company where they invested their own life savings into. (I feel like people forget that. They have also their livehoods at stake and have to jungle between that role and being the main faces of the content they produce, because if they try something different people and the yt algorythm would kill them with hammers)

At this point I don't know for sure who is gone and who isn't. If we take Katie Leblancs linkedin post, it's written in normaler english as "Hey I am searching for a job. I'm very experienced and managed production at watcher but I don't anymore due to a decision that was not up to me. I also know other people who are very talented who also lost a job and I could give you their number if you need (whatever production role they had).". Linked in is a networking site so her post is written in a way to say that she is searching for a job but knows other people who are talented. You know. A networking social media site.

That makes sense for her, but does that mean that every person is fired and will never work with watcher? Not likely, as Shane said on discord "we offered them freelance positions". It's of course not ideal in Katie's case who is very experienced and responsible woman who has also a family to think of so freelance is simply not beneficial for her. That's understandable. Does that mean that every person will never work again with them? An answer for that would require 1) stalking up everyone's linked in 2) the fact that they'd have to post that themselves. I don't see any reason for them to do that because most of that is behind camera crew that unless you watch every debrief or every behind the screen content they wouldn't be more than a name in the credits.

If by "our fave people" you mean all the talented crew that worked at watcher then yeah I'd assume some of them might leave. Some of them not. What I know for sure that again for the average viewer, and that is what stands behind the decision the priority is to "get content out every week" and "See Shane and Ryan goofing off on camera". That will happen and nothing about that will change. How watcher manages their internal things without people who no longer work with them is not in my or average viewers interest, and sorry to say but most parasocial people shouldn't be obsessed about that either.

I also think that if you think "Oh my gosh haters will love this" then reevaluate your relation with this fandom. I didn't even look into that thing, most of the "opinions" I quoted in my previous ask was from the main reddit thread. Which is less toxic than a pool of haters and critical people who can't wait to see watcher burn. I know because I also used to think that and this made me miserable. Do you also go into hater threads for your favorite book or movie you watched? I know ragebait is very in right now but at some point, it's gotta stop.

I'm not gonna speculate what happens or might not happen. What we do know is that they planned out content for the next year and the best thing I can do is still be a fan of them. I think it's also good to know that the situation is less ideal than it seemed. Knowing that this might be the last year of watcher content (but again it doesn't have to be!) is way better than being told that there's no new videos ever.

They also bank on their content for months. The mystery files that is aring now was shot in november and so is the bts content, so if there is any drop of quality to be noticed (and they said that they already cut costs on content where they could) then we won't see it for months.

So yeah, take care and please don't think "what are the haters gonna say". It's very unhealthy in the long run.

[callsignfate]

I need you to be okay

Day Fourteen of Writemas/Birthday posts!

If you want to see the scheduled posts go here If you want to see more posts like this go here

TW: Lecturing, mention of dangerous acts, mention of guns and military vehicles, mention and talk of military field work, If I've missed any let me know!

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡ This is stuck in my head. It's been stuck in my head. So now you all must have to read it. Reader is mentioned to be shorter than everyone and Laswell (I think)

(Soap finds out your married to Laswell might make a part two that he tells everyone)

You had joined TF141 for a temporary, unknown amount of time, often going by your callsign rather than anything else. Because they didn't dare ask your age, and you were slightly immature at times, they all called you different nicknames that had stuck with you.

A mission that was supposed to take no more than a day or two turned into almost a week. Everyone was excited to be back at the base. You could tell by the jokes and more revitalized tones that they were more than ready to shower and rest finally. You were excited, although for different reasons. You wanted nothing more than to see your wife.

"Shower and rest, Laswell wants a debrief in a few hours," Price said, grumbling about it under his breath about how he wanted a longer break for all of you and himself.

You nodded in response as the rest of them sighed and agreed with some small snide comments. You knew your wife well enough that she wanted to do it sooner; hell, she'd be there the second you stepped off the helicopter wanting a debrief if she wasn't trying to be even slightly nicer.

The hot shower and fresh, clean clothes felt like heaven. You finally got rid of the cold feeling that seemed stuck in your bones as you put on your favorite hoodie that you stole from Kate and headed out towards the meeting room. You could see Soap walking that way as well up the hall, also wearing more leisurely clothes.

It had been a few weeks since you had seen Kate. You could already hear her lecturing Price as you pulled open the door and looked to see almost everyone was here but Gaz. Kate's frustrated eyes flashed to yours as she raised her eyebrows with a pissed-off mom look she always gave you before she lectured you.

"And you, what in God's name do you think you were doing? We won't even talk about the reckless mistakes you made with them. I put you with them for a few months, and you begin to share their brain cells?" Kate's hands were moving frantically around as she spoke. She didn't often talk with her hands unless she was upset, and she was.

"I made the best decisions I could with the information and situation provided." You noticed that Kate took a lot of attitude back from the 141. She had vented to you about just how reckless they were, but you saw firsthand how tight of situations they get put in where they, and now you, had to make tough, probably reckless decisions to save their ass or get the job done.

"Don't talk to me that formally—I hate it, and you know it," Kate hissed out. In response, you laughed and sat down next to Soap, who looked bored and tired, although still happy and friendly as always.

You and Soap, while listening to Kate lecture Price, ended up spinning your chairs from side to side, quietly matching each other's movements with a stifled laugh every once in a while.

Gaz finally walked in. He sat near Ghost, who was silently watching it all unfold. Kate immediately went from lecturing Price to everyone as a group, sounding like a mother whose child had chased a ball into the street.

"Every one of you has a death wish or something? I leave for a few weeks, and suddenly the entire team decides to throw themselves into the line of fire like it's a bloody carnival game. I swear, Soap, you better stop making bets with Ghost on who can come closer to getting shot. And you," she pointed at Gaz, "I saw the report. You tried to take on a bloody tank with just a pistol!"

Gaz leaned back in his chair, grinning. "Well, Kate, you always said 'work smarter, not harder.' So, I thought, why not try it the other way around for a change?"

Kate's eyes narrowed, and you could practically see the storm clouds gathering. "This isn't a joke, Gaz. One of these days, your 'work harder' approach is going to get you killed."

Soap chimed in, "But we got the job done, Kate. That's what matters, right?"

"Getting the job done without getting yourselves killed or causing an international incident also matters," Kate retorted, crossing her arms.

You couldn't help but chuckle, earning a glare from Kate. "What's so funny?"

"Just missed your charming lectures, Kate. Reminds me that I'm home," you replied with a teasing smile.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, spare me. Anyway, debrief is over. Go get some rest, everyone, before you all end up in the hospital. And You, you stay."

As the door closed behind the last member leaving the room, you and Kate were left alone in the quiet aftermath of her scolding. The atmosphere shifted, becoming less official and more intimate. Kate sighed, her stern facade melting away as she ran a hand through her hair, a sign of her exasperation.

"You know," she began, her tone softer now, "I worry about all of you. This job... it takes a toll, and sometimes I feel like I'm herding a bunch of stubborn cats."

You chuckled again, standing up and walking over to where she was sitting. "Well, we're your stubborn cats, and you're the only one who can handle us."

She shot you a playful glare but couldn't hide the hint of a smile. "And what about you? Any reckless stunts I should know about? Or are you the one responsible adult in this operation?"

You leaned against the desk, meeting her gaze. "Oh, you know me, Kate. I'm the epitome of responsibility."

She snorted, playfully rolling her eyes. "Right. The 'responsible' one who used to climb out of bedroom windows just to avoid being caught sneaking in past curfew."

You smirked, recalling those rebellious teenage days. "Ah, those were the days. But seriously, I'm fine. No reckless stunts, promise."

She studied you for a moment, her expression shifting to something more thoughtful. "Good. Because... I need you to be okay. More than you probably realize."

Your teasing demeanor softened. You reached out, gently cupping her cheek. "I'm not going anywhere, Kate. You're stuck with me."

She leaned into your touch, closing her eyes briefly. "Good. Because I'd hate to have to chase you down and drag you back."

You chuckled, giving her cheek a light, affectionate tap. "Wouldn't want you to break a sweat, now, would we?"

She swatted your hand away with a mock scowl. "Go get some rest. We've got work to do, and I can't have you falling asleep in the middle of a mission."

With a final teasing grin, you left the room, leaving Kate to her paperwork and thoughts. The banter might be constant, but the unspoken understanding between you two was clear—you were her anchor in the storm, and she was yours. As you walked out, you saw Soap standing near the wall with a slightly shocked but sly smile. He held your favorite cap, the one you wore often. Before you could react, he reached into it and pulled out your name tag that read 'Laswell.' Your face paled as you realized Soap had overheard your discussion with your wife and discovered the name tag you had hidden in your cap.

Soap, holding the name tag between his fingers, raised an eyebrow with a mischievous grin. "Laswell, huh? So, our fearless leader has a soft spot for you. Never would've guessed."

Your face heated up, a mix of embarrassment and frustration. "Soap, don't you have better things to do than pry into other people's business?"

He chuckled, tossing the name tag back to you. "Hey, just having a bit of fun. But seriously, you and the boss? That's interesting."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, Price owes me twenty bucks. Said he never believed the boss would get involved with someone on the team. Guess we both lost that bet." You sighed, realizing that your personal life had become a source of entertainment for your teammates. "If everyone finds out we're married I will shave off your mohawk in your sleep."

Soap raised his hands in mock surrender, a playful glint in his eyes. "Alright, alright, I'll zip it. Your secret's safe with me. No need to resort to mohawk threats."

"Good," you replied, though the playful threat hung in the air. You headed to your quarters, thoughts swirling. It wasn't that you were ashamed of your relationship with Kate, but the nature of your work demanded a certain level of secrecy. The last thing you needed was the team treating every mission like some kind of love story drama.

After dealing with Soap, you decided to find Kate. She was now likely in her office, buried in paperwork. The familiar sound of helicopters and distant chatter filled the air as you navigated the base.

When you reached her office, Kate looked up from her desk, a rare smile gracing her lips. "Took you long enough."

"Debrief ran late," you joked, leaning against the doorframe.

She raised an eyebrow, glancing at what you were wearing finally. "Is that my hoodie?"

You smirked. "Maybe."

Kate chuckled, standing up and walking over to you. "You know, I missed you."

"I missed you too," you admitted, pulling her into a warm embrace.

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡

[stuffgut]

BigGirlUK situation is crazy...

So let's get down to it, first off I'm going to have to get the stuff out the way I do not have any evidence of, as the conversations happened on Snapchat and her profile got deleted. So it's completely up to you if you choose to believe me or not.

I first got in contact with the aforementioned person in October of last year a few weeks before I flew to Morocco. She had made a post about needing money for bills, which wasn't much (tbh I was at an extremely low point mentally at this time, which didn't help my lack of logical thinking at that moment) so I'd decided to help out and threw some extra in for food and she'd give me access to her premium (which she very quickly stopped using). This was sent to a PayPal account which she then told me she couldn't access after I paid her (classic PayPal scam, my dumbass didn't clock it, or I felt like gambling that day, fuck knows).

She had claimed that the reason it got frozen was because 'she was getting too much money' and sent me a bank account to send the money to and 'promised' she would send it me back at a later date when her PayPal 'unfroze'. After that she would keep asking for more money on snap and promising videos in return without delivering anything, slowly increasing the amount of content she was supposed to be sending back.

I understand that this is where I should have stopped, which is why I don't expect anyone to feel bad for me. Once she even started posting about a date she'd been on and told me that she used the money I sent her for it, which was money I'd sent for a stuffing. This eventually reached a point where she threatened to block me if I didn't send her more money, after I questioned her authenticity after she didn't send me anything we'd agreed on.

At this point I had sent her £400+ (£240 of which she had insisted she would send me back, I made her very aware that was the only reason I was sending it) and all she had sent me were 2 videos which she sells on Curvage for ~£5, which was not what we agreed on. I vaguely remember discussing customs but I've slept since then so I'm not going to put too much emphasis on that, I think the wall of text says enough lol. Next up, the DM's.

Going to add a few notes based on the image number...

1. Initial message after 2 months of no contact, notice she does not deny anything.

3. Agreement to send me money back, details exchanged. I failed to mention earlier before she threatened to block me, she insisted she had noted down my details so she could still pay me back after the 180 days period.

4. Strange request to find out where I was from, which set off immediate warning signs in my head. As I'd just sent her my full name again, I was expecting she was attempting to find out my details to light-dox me. Note I've censored any sensitive information for both parties.

5. Me initially saying she can keep the money which was apparently still in her frozen PayPal account and just send me the money she had agreed to repay I sent over transfer. Then a further month of no contact and no money being sent.

7. Probably the most interesting one, she had started getting very aggravated with me at this point and claiming I'm trying to blackmail her and extort her, trying to play victim. The 'try me' comment was after I'd said she'd already attempted to extort me and I had proof (which was a white lie as I don't have the screenshots of that conversation) by threatening to block me unless I paid her more after I'd said she was extorting me. Bearing in mind I had being trying to sort this out with her without making any further accusations for several months at this point, going round in circles. Claiming I'm 'refusing' her suggestions despite her never actually committing to anything, you can see I'd attempted to discuss content again with her in image 2. Contradicting herself claiming she is educated and only doing this as a 'side hustle' then literally the message after saying she is unemployed and on benefits, so which is it? Agreeing to pay someone back money which you know you aren't going to have is fraud, no question. I think anyone can see this case is absolutely warranted.

8. Last one, me reminding her that her PayPal period was up in a few days after that message. That Tuesday came round and no attempt was made to get in touch or send the money, the only thing I got sent was another picture of a 'blackmail' article.

So, that's it. I'm wiping my hands with this situation, I'm not expecting any sympathy or financial support (I don't need it) and it wasn't why I was posting this, it needed to be made public to warn people what slimy people we have in our depths, on proper platforms. If the issue really was that she couldn't afford it, why didn't you say that 4 months ago? Or more? Furthermore if anyone thinks less of me for posting this, I couldn't care less. This is the last bit of baggage I'm going to be putting out from last year, hoping to leave it behind me and move on. No more cryptic posts, but still not sure if to start posting normally again, but I have being trying to gain again...