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headcanon: Before meeting Lovely, Vincent used to go to the movies to watch every awful new vampire fic that came out just to smirk though the whole thing. He used the mysterious heartthrob vamps for inspiration.
More recently, he went to one with Lovely and they almost got thrown out for laughing
THIS MAKES ME SO SOFT THANK YOU ANON
this is so real. i love imagining him sitting in the corner of a theater surrounded by teenage girls and middle aged women crying over how badly they want edward cullen and he’s just doing his best not to die laughing at just. the absurdity of it all.
yes, he did go watch all of the twilight films in theaters. on premiere night. he did it ironically. or so he says.
#bun answers#unknown participants#i think this is so silly#vincent solaire#redacted audio#redacted asmr
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I’d like to give a shoutout to all the people trying so hard right now to map out every possible way the logistics of sex between a human man and a sentient triangle can happen. Y’all are the real ones.
#bill cipher#gravity falls#the book of bill#billford#stanford pines#i have seen into depths of the human psyche previously unknown to man#i say right now as if i hadn’t just read an R-rates bill and ford fic from 5 years ago that permanantly scarred me for life (complimentary)#and I say sex between these two as if that same fic didn’t involve at least 8 discrete participants
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hey you ever think about how its implied that you have to be turned into a nobody to get norted, like, every member of the real org13 who isnt literally xehanort or literally possessed by xehanort is a nobody (except maybe vanitas but *gestures* thats a . different can of worms), and the people who were recompleted had to then become nobodies again in order to be in the real org13 and serve as a vessel for xehanort, like perhaps your heart has to be removed in order to make room for another heart,
and then do you ever think about the one character who canonically got norted before becoming a nobody and is still norted even after being recompleted and thus canonically didnt need to become a nobody in order to be norted, and then lose your mind a little bit
#9 30 am. luxuposting hours. [luxuposting hours are from 12 am to 11:59 pm]#idk. maybe you serve as a vessel for somebody else's ambitions for long enough and it becomes second nature to you.#maybe you lose enough of your sense of self in enough bodies and you dont need to have your sense of self removed to make room for someone.#maybe you let darkness attach to you for long enough and your metaphysical immune system doesnt lift a finger#to fight off another darkness trying to intrude.#maybe you stare into the moral black hole that is the intentionally orchestrated slaughter of unknown numbers of child soldiers#willingly carried out by the people who were supposed to protect and guide those children#and in some way make enough peace with that to continue serving the man who orchestrated it alongside those who participated#and that decimates your personhood enough that the presence of a heart doesnt even matter anymore. idk. idk#yknow its normal to me. its fine. <- throwing up.#&then of course he becomes a nobody again anyway. for what. shits and giggles#was it forced on him. was it elective. will we ever know. i doubt it. im fine with that tbh i dont need everything spelled out for me#kingdom hearts#blakeposts#xigbar#luxu#kh
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god fucking dammit. fuck me running. okay. I'm watching the serialized version of Louhimies' Unknown Soldier because I literally have nothing else to do with my life and uh. when I found out the fandom is shipping Lehto and Riitaoja, I was like. okay purely based on the book sure sure yes I can see the potential for sexual tension between the two, they do have that weird polar-opposites-forced-to-interact kind of thing going on and they do get a good handful of scenes together building up that dynamic (and their death scenes being linked is a really beautiful detail too). I was a little taken aback by the fact that Hietanen and Rahikainen isn't a popular ship because their relationship is a lot more pronounced in the book and checks a lot of standard ship dynamic boxes, but seeing how they're not really portrayed as a duo in this adaptation at least (and I'm guessing the fandom feeds more on the visual media than the book itself?), it kinda makes sense ig.
...but holy fucking shit if the sexual tension isn't present in the TV show. it's straight up underlined is what it is. I had to watch the scene where riitaoja falls to the ground from exhaustion three times because I couldn't believe my gay old eyeballs. the fucking. gentleness with which lehto lifts him up after taking his anger out on him? the fuckibgbng. lingering almost regretful touch on his back as he starts stumbling forward????????? bit out of character even but oh my god. aku louhimies can rot for all i care but that man desperately wanted those two fictional soldiers to fuck. im giving him exactly one brownie point for that. (also i can't deny that this adaptation is a really beautiful one. worst person you know made a great piece of art type beat. devastating)
#unknown soldier#as a side note im not hyperfixating i swear to god#im. uh. i have this uni course on media participation in january. and im 👉👈 thinking about doing my assignment on this fandom#not the shipping part obv lol (okay maybe ill lightly brush on that subject too) but im thinking something like.#the younger generations connecting with the finnish cultural historical heritage through transformative media like unknown soldier fanfic#so this is research. im doing research. for science#(if i do end up becoming hyperfixated in the process it's gonna be the worst most embarrassing fucking thing that's ever happened to me)#(pls pray for my sanity everyone)#tuntematon sotilas
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(Unknown’s route would never even get off the ground)
#I love him with all my heart but you can't get a good end with 0 participation and 0 emails sent#There is no way that he would let you keep your phone if you started trying to initiate a redemption arc while he was busy with his revenge#The game is not designed to accommodate life in the intelligence room with Unknown in this essay I will#mystic messenger#mystic messenger fake chat#mystic messenger incorrect quote#unknown
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It's the end of the semester for your girl and she somehow pulled through with zero non-passing grades; please clap and cheer.
#I was absent for the final assignment for my Makeup class but I passed anyway because the professor is a champ.#I got full marks on my Voice midterm.#I got a 9/10 in Acting class and very nice feedback#(side note: I think the prof thought I was about to cry because my face twitched with the exertion of making an appropriate facial#expression because I was scared of looking ungrateful. I hate responding to compliments)#about how he really likes how I work but feels there's a slice of my range I haven't explored yet.#He doesn't know what it is but the clue he gave me was 'I think it's dark'.#Anyway Actoral Training was an 8/10 for all of us because we only had three classes after the professor changed.#I retook my Dramatic Literature exam and got a 100% but since I initially got a 20% it averaged at 60%.#I think I'll get a 7/10 overall for class participation.#Theories of Perception is a ?/10 but since I'm positive I at least passed the exam and I have class participation I know it's good.#And Movement was a 9/10 for reasons unknown to me given that I handed in my report way late.#Anyway. A good semester academically if we ignore the fact that I got those grades at the last possible second with immeasurable stress.#l33chsp34k
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keroro the type of person to get very upset if he's not invited to something
#and literally invite himself like ep21 lol#headcanon#musing#he doesn't just wanna be included he wants to feel like he Belongs. it is a subtle difference from kururu in my opinion#kururu wants to feel like he matters in people's lives! yep! and so he likes to participate and be asked#but he won't be heartbroken or anything if hes left out bc hes used to it and hes low energy so hes gonna be fine#keroro i think feels extremely like he doesn't belong anywhere rn#because earth is just a foreign unknown place. unwelcoming. everything is so big. he's not a human he's not a frog. he's not home#but he just as much doesn't feel like he belong with keron and the platoon because he doesn't really wanna succeed in his goal#not like his teammates' lament of wanting to at all (despite not wanting it either! giroro open ur eyes!)#and so and so... something snth why wont you resonate with me? thank u ep31 the perfect character study on keroro#anyway yes he wants to be included in the sense he wants to feel Part of it not just to hang out but Actually to.#be part of the family. part of the team. be . NEEDED. im saying.#make sense?#i thiiiink that is why the birthday thing stings. that and he wants to be appreciated as well. like praised. know hes doing a good job.#that hes loved . that he is needed. is what he wants to know. and doesn't. :) and when hes reminder he loses all strength#consistently from what ive noticed#kururu#keroro
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What hxh servers are you in!!
just this one! (invite link at the top of the page) https://greedislandchallenge.tumblr.com/
#asks tag-#discord scares me because you can't lurk around to get a feel for a server before joining in#the thought of joining an unknown group and someone might immediately talk to you is terrifying to me haha#but last year I knew some people from hxhbb were in this one#i like it because it's based around frequent mini-challenges for fic/art/etc.#so there's a way to participate even for someone like me who sucks at Words and Conversations lol
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finding out zun's music collection 5.5 and 9.5 were only in print for like one event and are extremely rare and expensive now hurt just a little bit for my dreams of having a complete collection</3 at least i can take comfort in knowing they weren't released in cute cases and wouldn't look as good displayed anyway :')
#like i like unknown flower mesmerizing journey it's good it's alright but lord knows i do not like it enough to pay $400+ for it#and from a cursory glance it seems like rainbow colored septentrion is even worse :/#bri talks#and anyways i was never going to have a COMPLETE complete collection#bc i do not think i will ever have the spending money to participate in a pc98 game auction in my life Have you seen those things
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Some misinfo here. While it's easy to speculate the extreme, that a person who praises dictators wants to be one himself, he was not explicit in saying that "You won't have to vote again" was about his indefinite rule. It reads more like a guy who talks out of his ass, trying to pander to the audience he is currently in front of. In this case, it was Christians, who are supposed to be about peace and love and unity - to unite the country in a direction that will not make each election divisive. The way one of the OP arguments is "psyops want you to prove your moral superiority by abstaining," Republicans not voting in 2028 will have little impact on Republicans continuing to win if he is given the chance to unite the country.
I think the more important point here is that he and wealthy Christian Nationalists are bosom buddies, as they said, which is bad, but unrelated to the point in question.
I'm sorry if fearmongering works on some people, but it just pisses other off. Creating a unified Congress, with local Legisaltors, is just as important, so don't forget to vote for more than just the highest office 👍
The discussions around whether or not to vote for Kamala keep being dominated by very loud voices shouting that anyone who advocates for her “just doesn't care about Palestine!” and “is willing to overlook genocide!” and “has no moral backbone at all!” And while some of these voices will be bots, trolls, psyops - we know that this happens; we know that trying to persuade progressives to split the vote or not vote at all is a strategy employed by hostile actors - of course many of them won't be. But what this rhetoric does is continually force the “you should vote for her” crowd onto the back foot of having to go to great lengths writing entire essays justifying their choice, while the “don't vote/vote third party” crowd is basically never asked to justify their choice. It frames voting for Kamala as a deeply morally compromised position that requires extensive justification while framing not voting or voting third party as the neutral and morally clean stance.
So here's another way of looking at it. How much are you willing to accept in order to feel like you're not compromising your morals on one issue?
Are you willing to accept the 24% rise in maternal deaths - and 39% increase for Black women - that is expected under a federal abortion ban, according to the Centre for American Progress? Those percentages represent real people who are alive now who would die if the folks behind Project 2025 get their way with reproductive healthcare.
Are you willing to accept the massive acceleration of climate change that would result from the scrapping of all climate legislation? We don't have time to fuck around with the environment. A gutting of climate policy and a prioritisation of fossil fuel profits, which is explicitly promised by Trump, would set the entire world back years - years that we don't have.
Are you willing to accept the classification of transgender visibility as inherently “pornographic” and thus the removal of trans people from public life? Are you willing to accept the total elimination of legal routes for gender-affirming care? The people behind the Trump campaign want to drive queer and trans people back underground, back into the closet, back into “criminality”. This will kill people. And it's maddening that caring about this gets called “prioritising white gays over brown people abroad” as if it's not BIPOC queer and trans Americans who will suffer the most from legislative queer- and transphobia, as they always do.
Are you willing to accept the domestic deployment of the military to crack down on protests and enforce racist immigration policy? I'm sure it's going to be very easy to convince huge numbers of normal people to turn up to protests and get involved in political organising when doing so may well involve facing down an army deployed by a hardcore authoritarian operating under the precedent that nothing he does as president can ever be illegal.
Are you willing to accept a president who openly talks about wanting to be a dictator, plans on massively expanding presidential powers, dehumanises his political enemies and wants the DOJ to “go after them”, and assures his supporters they won't have to vote again? If you can't see the danger of this staring you right in the face, I don't know what to tell you. Allowing a wannabe dictator to take control of the most powerful country on earth would be absolutely disastrous for the entire world.
Are you willing to accept an enormous uptick in fascism and far-right authoritarianism worldwide? The far right in America has huge influence over an entire international network of “anti-globalists”, hardcore anti-immigrant xenophobes, transphobic extremists, and straight-up fascists. Success in America aids and emboldens these people everywhere.
Are you willing to accept an enormous number of preventable deaths if America faces a crisis in the next four years: a public health emergency, a natural disaster, an ecological catastrophe? We all saw how Trump handled Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico. We all saw how Trump handled Covid-19. He fanned the flames of disaster with a constant flow of medical misinformation and an unspeakably dangerous undermining of public health experts. It's estimated that 40% of US pandemic deaths could have been avoided if the death rates had corresponded to those in other high-income countries. That amounts to nearly half a million people. One study from January 2021 estimated between around 4,200 and 12,200 preventable deaths attributable purely to Trump's statements about masks. We're highly unlikely to face another global pandemic in the next few years but who knows what crises are coming down the pipeline?
Are you willing to accept the attempted deportation of millions - millions - of undocumented people? This is “rounding people up and throwing them into camps where no one ever hears from them again” territory. That's a blueprint for genocide right there and it's a core tenet of both Trump's personal policy and Project 2025. And of course they wouldn't be going after white people. They most likely wouldn't even restrict their tyranny to people who are actually undocumented. Anyone racially othered as an “immigrant” would be at risk from this.
Are you willing to accept not just the continuation of the current situation in Palestine, but the absolute annihilation of Gaza and the obliteration of any hope for imminent peace? There is no way that Trump and the people behind him would not be catastrophically worse for Gaza than Kamala or even Biden. Only recently he was telling donors behind closed doors that he wanted to “set the [Palestinian] movement back 25 or 30 years” and that “any student that protests, I throw them out of the country”. This is not a man who can be pushed in a direction more conducive to peace and justice. This is a man who listens to his wealthy donors, his Christian nationalist Republican allies, and himself.
Are you willing to accept a much heightened risk of nuclear war? Obviously this is hardly a Trump policy promise. But I can't think of a single president since the Cold War who is more likely to deploy nuclear weapons, given how casually he talks about wanting to use them and how erratic and unstable he can be in his dealings with foreign leaders. To quote Foreign Policy only this year, “Trump told a crowd in January that one of the reasons he needed immunity was so that he couldn’t be indicted for using nuclear weapons on a city.” That's reassuring. I'm not even in the US and I remember four years of constant background low-level terror that Trump would take offence at something some foreign leader said or think that he needs to personally intervene in some military situation to “sort it out” and decide to launch the entire world into nuclear war. No one sane on earth wants the most powerful person on the planet to be as trigger-happy and careless with human life as he is, especially if he's running the White House like a dictator with no one ever telling him no. But depending on what Americans do in November, he may well be inflicted again on all of us, and I guess we'll all just have to hope that he doesn't do the worst thing imaginable.
“But I don't want those things! Stop accusing me of supporting things I don't support!” Yes, of course you don't want those things. None of us does. No one's saying that you actively support them. No one's accusing you of wanting Black women to die from ectopic pregnancies or of wanting to throw Hispanic people in immigrant detention centres or of wanting trans people to be outlawed (unlike, I must point out, the extremely emotive and personal accusations that get thrown around about “wanting Palestinian children to die” if you encourage people to vote for Kamala).
But if you're advocating against voting for Kamala, you are clearly willing to accept them as possible consequences of your actions. That is the deal you're making. If a terrible thing happening is the clear and easily foreseeable outcome of your action (or in the case of not voting, inaction), in a way that could have been prevented by taking a different and just as easy action, you are partly responsible for that consequence. (And no, it's not “a fear campaign” to warn people about things he's said, things he wants to do, and plans drawn up by his close allies. This is not “oooh the Democrats are trying to bully you into voting for them by making him out to be really bad so you'll feel scared and vote for Kamala!” He is really bad, in obvious and documented and irrefutable ways.)
And if you believe that “both parties are the same on Gaza” (which, you know, they really aren't, but let's just pretend that they are) then presumably you accept that the horrors being committed there will continue, in the immediate term anyway, regardless of who wins the presidency. Because there really isn't some third option that will appear and do everything we want. It's going to be one of those two. And we can talk all day about wanting a better system or how unfair it is that every presidential election only ever has two viable candidates and how small the Overton window is and all that but hell, we are less than eighty days out from the election; none of that is going to get fixed between now and November. Electoral reform is a long-term (but important!) goal, not something that can be effected in the span of a couple of months by telling people online to vote third party. There is no “instant ceasefire and peace negotiation” button that we're callously overlooking by encouraging people to vote for Kamala. (My god, if there was, we would all be pressing it.)
If we're suggesting people vote for her, it's not that we “are willing to overlook genocide” or “don't care about sacrificing brown people abroad” or whatever. Nothing is being “overlooked” here. It's that we're simply not willing to accept everything else in this post and more on top of continued atrocities in Gaza. We're not willing to take Trump and his godawful far-right authoritarian agenda as an acceptable consequence of feeling like we have the moral high ground on Palestine. I cannot stress enough that if Kamala doesn't win, we - we all, in the whole world - get Trump. Are you willing to accept that?
And one more point to address: I've seen too many people act frighteningly flippant and naïve about terrible things Trump or his campaign want to do, with the idea that people will simply be able to prevent all these bad things by “organising” and “protesting” and “collective action”. “I'm not willing to accept these things; that's why I'll fight them tooth and nail every day of their administration” - OK but if you're not even willing to cast a vote then I have doubts about your ability to form “the Resistance”, which by the way would have to involve cooperation with people of lots of progressive political stripes in order to have the manpower to be effective, and if you're so committed to political purity that you view temporarily lending your support to Kamala at the ballot box as an untenable betrayal of everything you stand for then forgive me for also doubting your ability to productively cooperate with allies on the ground with whom you don't 100% agree. Plus, if the Trump campaign gets its way, American progressives would be kept so busy trying to put out about twenty different fires at once that you'd be able to accomplish very little. Maybe you get them to soften their stance on trans healthcare but oh shit, the climate policies are still in place. But more importantly, how many people do you think will protest for abortion rights if doing so means staring down a gun? Or organise to protect their neighbours from deportation if doing so means being thrown in prison yourself? And OK, maybe you're sure that you will, but history has shown us time and time again that most people won't. Most people aren't willing to face that kind of personal risk. And a tiny number of lefties willing to risk incarceration or death to protect undocumented people or trans people or whatever other groups are targeted is sadly not enough to prevent the horrors from happening. That is small fry compared to the full might of a determined state. Of course if the worst happens and Trump wins then you should do what you can to mitigate the harm; I'm not saying you shouldn't. But really the time to act is now. You have an opportunity right here to mitigate the harm and it's called “not letting him get elected”. Act now to prevent that kind of horrific authoritarian situation from developing in the first place; don't sit this one out under the naïve belief that “we'll be able to stop it if it happens”. You won't.
#this instance IS fearmongering b/c it is an unknown future. him being a people-pleaser is also well-documented to use your own argument#but i get it. fear of the future is a quintessential human trait.#sometimes in a defacto 2-party system it's just using your one vote to make sure the worse person doesn't win#us vs the rest of the world#politics#long post for ts#don't let the psyop psyon#all the -isms#(as a reminder only ~3% of u.s. citizens participated in the Revolutionary War. ~30% SUPPORTED them. but that's 27% who were all talk)
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okay but what about that part in the Porter vid where he makes Listener look into his eyes? Are we SURE he didn't already start trancing them? Does he care if the "yes" is influence-free?
NO BC THIS WAS MY IMMEDIATE THOUGHT !!!!!
my gut feeling was that he had tranced them. i cant imagine that he really cares all too much whether or not he gets it through influence. and i also stand by the fact that vincent is very against trancing people. i feel like it would have been one of tjose things that he doesnt like to do, usually only does if he has to. and i can see that might have caused a bit of a wedge to form between the two, especially if porter was higher up in the clan, therefore around more frequently.
#bun answers#unknown participants#idk maybe im just talking out my ass#im so out of it but idec#redacted asmr#redacted audio
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Working through the bad ends and I just got his second bad relationship end anddddd im losing my mind a bit with this one..... what do you MEAN I ended up here????
#Prince's gaming tag#Why am i here????? Can i take this as failing another story COULD lead to the main story???#Or is it a cue that MC's gotta enter the morphogenetic field and choose better options?#I know that's not a thing in this game but it sure feels like it sometimes#Like i get this ending by NOT participating in the chats. Why bring me to the heart of everything#Am i Rika?? No i dont think so but that'd be funny#Maybe im not supposed to think so hard but HMMMMMMMMM#Feels like something id encounter in a certain game with multiple timelines and i have to jump to different ones for the full story#WAIT HE SAYS HE DOESNT KNOW WHO HE IS!!! HE'S UNKNOWN#AAAAAAAAAA#tho i just realized unless everything including seven's kidnapping resets it cant actually lead into it. damn#i thought it was like the z/t/d where one of the endings leads into the plot of the second game bc that game has to happen in one of them#like how cool would that be???
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Yandere! Demon King Headcanons
You have accepted the Demon King’s marriage proposal!
I wasn't planning on writing a second part, but some of you gave me ideas and I decided on short headcanons instead. The image of a big, buff, evil Overlord lovingly doing house chores for their human was too tempting.
Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance
[Main Story]
The proposal, as you quickly found out, came as a surprise to everyone. Not even the King’s loyal butler knew of such intentions; he’d assumed they were finally going to destroy everything and everyone at once. To him, the dramatic scene of you and his Lord enveloped in flames was anything but a romantic confession. It was your final battle. So one might imagine the poor lizard’s confusion when the Demon King returned with you following behind. “S-sir?” He questioned meekly. The armored creature nodded at his servant. “It has been done. We’ll plan the wedding upon our arrival home.” The what? His baffled expression must’ve given him away, because the Demon continued: “What’re you gawking like that for? Didn’t I ask you earlier how humans forge a bond?” The butler stumbled to search for his words, swallowing dryly. “Well y-yes, your Majesty…I just didn’t expect it to be anything more than curiosity.”
The same speechless reaction repeated itself all the way to the Kingdom. Soldiers, diplomats, other monstrous entities of the unknown Land, they all greeted you in disbelief. So much, in fact, that you began to poke fun at their hesitant response: “I am his mortal enemy”, you’d announce with a dramatic bow. “Spouse! We talked about this!” the Demon Lord would quickly correct you, flustered.
Truth be told, you're not quite sure what made you accept this ridiculous offer. Perhaps a mixture of intrigue and disillusionment. The city you've dedicated yourself to stood no longer, burnt to a crisp along with its corruption and crookery. In a way, the monster had unshackled you from a responsibility you no longer wanted to bear. And if that wasn't enough to convince you, well, the sight of the Ruler himself kneeling before you certainly sealed the deal.
Although it may take a while for you to accept the idea that your worst adversary had actually been infatuated with you this entire time. Were there even any hints? During your last battle you nearly died. You'd crawled out of an enormous crater on your fours, bones shattered and ligaments torn. When you pointed this out to your groom-to-be, he stared at you in horror. "I had no idea humans were that fragile. I was trying to adjust my strength so as to not do any harm." You could only nod, patting away the sweat beads forming on your forehead. Uh huh. Maybe it's better you didn't experience his full range of attacks.
Ever since the devastating revelation, he's been extra careful when handling you. Sometimes he'll awkwardly hover his large hands above you, with a concentrated frown on his face. "What the hell are you doing?" you ask, eyeing him suspiciously. "I'm trying to be gentle." he'll answer. "You're not even touching me." Fair point, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
The Demon King will often ask you about customs from your world as a way to make you comfortable, just in case you get struck by the occasional homesickness. His Realm is very different from what you're used to, after all. Lamentably, his own years spent in the human world were not too fruitful from a cultural point of view. He was either busy stalking you or devouring the souls of the innocent. Now that he has nothing else to worry about, he will gladly listen and even do his best to actively participate.
You wake up shrouded in thick smoke. Overwhelmed by heavy déjà vu, you rush down the grand stairs, searching for the source of the fire. Are you being attacked? Enemies of the Demon King? You elbow yourself against the kitchen door, similar to when you left your home to find the city ablaze. The Demon Lord turns to face you, visibly overwhelmed and exhausted. You gawk at the scene unfolding before you and remember to close your mouth, mainly out of politeness. "It's too small. I'm afraid I cannot use it", he reveals timidly, holding a human spatula between his fingers to showcase the impractical size difference. You glance at the disastrous attempt behind him and manage to deduce he'd been trying to make breakfast. In an unspoken agreement, he steps back and allows you to take over.
"I'm surprised you let him burn down the kitchen", you mention to the butler once you get a moment to yourself. The scaly servant sighs, and theatrically lifts his clawed hands in hopelessness. "Pointless to argue with him when he's like this, (Y/N). In my entire life serving the Family, I've never witnessed a more stubborn leader." He points to the lavish portraits adorning the walls with a faint smile. "And, to put it frankly, he's obsessed with you. I've never seen him in a more deplorable state. Marrying a human?! The shame, the outrage!” he cries out. “No offense intended to you, of course. You must understand." You hum in agreement, a tad uncomfortable, yet sympathetic. "M-maybe it'll tone down after the wedding?" you suggest as encouragement. "Oh, no, I suspect it will only get worse", he bemoans in return. Then, he promptly straightens his back and resumes his duties.
You go on your own way, not wanting to burden the lizard in his work. As you cross the hallway, you find the Demon King himself scanning each room, somewhat agitated. He notices you and his features soften. "I was wondering where you'd vanished." You approach him with the words of the butler still ringing in your ears.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere headcanons#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#yandere monster#yandere monster x reader#monster x reader#monster x human#yandere demon king#yandere male x reader#gender neutral reader#monster romance#monster boyfriend#yandere oc
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Let's consider the sampling bias of a classic polling method: the telephone survey.
In many jurisdictions, robo-calling cell phone numbers is illegal, so right off the jump, our sample is limited to people with landlines.
Second, our survey's calling centre probably doesn't operate 24/7, and you can only answer a home landline when you're at home, so we're also selecting for people who tend to be at home during our calling centre's office hours.
Third, most people who have landlines probably also have answering services and caller ID, so we're additionally selecting for people who answer unknown numbers rather than letting them go to the machine.
Fourth, our recipient needs to be able to participate in the survey, so we're also selecting for people who speak the language(s) in which the survey is being administered.
Finally, after all this, most people will just hang up once they figure out they're being polled, so in sum, we're selecting for people who:
have landlines;
are usually at home during our calling centre's office hours;
customarily answer unknown numbers;
speak the language(s) in which the survey is administered; and
are actually interested in responding to surveys.
Any one of these factors is likely to introduce very serious bias into our results; all of them taken together are going to render our data practically meaningless for most purposes.
Now, understand that this still represents less selection bias than trying to do demographic surveys by reblogging Tumblr polls.
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A lady’s pleasure
Jacaerys Valeryon x fem!reader
Summary: For Jace Sex was always just duty. Get naked, be careful but quick and produce an heir. But when Aegon once again provokes him by saying his nephew was unable to please his wife it bothered him. Perhaps his uncle was right? It never occurred to him to please you or himself for that matter. Now he’s determined to learn.
Warnings: husband!jace x wife!reader, nipple play, hair pulling, oral (f receiving), fingering
Please let me know if I missed anything
“You must certainly know how to make your lovely wife feel good. After all you are the crown prince, Jacaerys Valeryon. You must have her quivering and singing underneath you.”
“Aegon, stop it at once!” Alicent Hightower urged her oldest son with a firm voice.
“With what reason? Should he feel as if I am mocking him then it could only be because I am false. Am I false, nephew?”
Jace could only stare and listen to his uncle making cruel jokes right in his face. His hands were angrily balled into fists but he remained silence.
Denying Aegon the pleasure of starting a fight about his performance in the bedroom in front of their family and worse you.
You stayed just as quiet and unreadable as he himself did and for an unknown reason it made Jace feel insecure. Did he know how to make his wife feel good? How to please her needs? Or even his own?
For him the act of it was only ever a way of making a family and producing heirs. Participating in its activity purely out of desire never occurred to him for many reasons.
For once he was terribly afraid of fathering any bastard children since he very much knew how it could feel like.
Besides he saw in Aegon how the needless pleasures and suspensions of its houses could turn a man into a beast.
But he was also an unwanted participant of a conversation between his mother and ser Harwin Strong when he was a child and realised how incredibly unfair it was for women to be the only gender having to save themselves.
For those reasons and others he kept to himself. Besides he rarely felt the need to anyway.
“Jacaerys, my apologies. I sincerely hope, you are not taking any of his unfounded claims to heart. You must be aware of how he can get” she looked away from him and at her son instead “when he is drowning in his cups.” she now angrily frowned.
Jace only sighed. “Do not worry. You might remember that I grew up around his nagging. Therefore I am quite used to this behaviour of his.”
-
Later when the young prince and his family arrived back at Dragonstone he accompanied you to your chambers.
“See me tonight, my prince? I am in no mood to sleep alone these days.” You whispered, putting your hands on his face in a comforting manner.
It was rather obvious that you felt quite compassionate towards him after such an exhausting feast.
Jace smiled lightly and nodded. He felt grateful for having you. And if you were honest you were very grateful for having him as well.
“Let me quickly inform my mother and the guards about my presence in your chambers for the night and once it’s done and I am ready for bed time I will be with you, my lady.”
You bit your lower lip at the tingling feeling in your stomach. He had a way of making you feel like this.
“And stop addressing me as your prince, please. I am not saying I do not enjoy it or that it is not true, I am only reminding you that you are not obligated to refer to me in such formalities. Call me your husband or by my birth name.”
You girlishly giggled. “But you are addressing me as your lady as well, my prince.” No matter how many times he reminded you of this you simply liked teasing him.
“These two are not the same at all to me. But I shall refer to you differently if you wish it.” He smiled.
“Yes please, I wish it. And I will wait for you tonight, husband.”
-
Jace took a deep breath as he entered the throne room and found who he was looking for. His mother’s husband and his great uncle.
“Daemon.” He called across the room.
“Jacaerys. What brings you here at this late hour?”
The young man came to a halt his face turning a bright red giving his intent right away. Daemon still awaited for Rhaenyras son to voice it.
“I am here about the matters I was so” he swallowed thickly “rudely tormented about this afternoon.”
“Boy, do not let it get to your head. You are more a man than Alicents son could ever be. Both of then in fact.“ Daemon was quick to push Jaces pride.
“I appreciate the compliment. But I have to admit that I fear my uncle might have had a point. Though I do not desire to be anything like him I have to admit I don’t know much about“ he paused “a womans body.”
“So you came to me to ask for advice on these affairs?”
“I am afraid so.”
-
You were comfortably sitting in your bed waiting for your husband in the light of your many candles while reading a book about Aegon the conqueror and his sisters.
He was taking suspiciously long for simply informing his guards about his stay at your chambers but you let him be since even a gentleman like your husband was were allowed to have a wounded pride.
You carefully manoeuvred your body out of the huge bed which was nice and warm but felt a little lonely by yourself.
Your night gown was of a light blue and thin which was not an unconscious decision. You liked to be a little cold at night so you had a reason to ask for your husband’s embrace.
You carefully approached the big door of your room. You only wanted to peak. Maybe you could spot him coming for you down the hallway.
And just as you reached for the handle of your wooden door it opened and you were met with the dark brown eyes of your husband.
“Jacaerys~” you let out.
“My love” he whispered “I am terribly sorry to had you waiting for me too long. There were some urgent issues I had to discuss with Prince Daemon.”
This new nickname send shivers down your spine and for a second you could only stare at him before regaining confidence.
“It is quite alright. Come on in. I have warmed the bed for us.”
You took his hand in yours and lead him to the bed. Once you were there both of you stood on opposite sides of it. You couldn’t help but notice his staring. Especially of your upper region.
“Are you tired yet, my love?” He sheepishly asked.
“Not quite. Is there something you want to discuss with me, husband?” You innocently wondered resting your body with your hands on the bed and stretching your face in his direction, subconsciously biting your lips.
“First lesson, boy. Get her excited for it first.”
He only chuckled at that which made your stomach tingle again. “The way you’re asking me is almost tempting, my love.”
He did the same as you pushing his face and upper body in your direction until you could feel his warm breath fan over your face.
For several minutes the two of you just looked at each other from opposite sides of your bed and even though you didn’t say or do anything and he didn’t either your breath heaved.
The silence got interrupted by his chuckling again and then he touched your cheek with his right hand.
“Have I ever told you how incredibly beautiful you are?” he whispered to your lips. And then, only lightly and almost unnoticeable, he bit it. Barely scraping your lower lip with his teeth.
Your breath hitched. “You- you have. On our wedding night.”
“I remember. Almost two moons ago. I should have told you every single day since then and I shall tell you every single day from now on.” He pecked your cheek. “Come, my love. Lay down.”
You did as he asked you, crawling into the middle of the bed and lying down on your back. His stares burning in your skin.
This was so different from what you knew. So far you only ever got into bed, shared a kiss and did what had to be done.
Of course he was gentle and looked after your well being but it was still always quick and a little uncomfortable.
But this? This was exciting. This made you feel things. New things.
Once you were comfortable Jace climbed on top of you, settling between your legs.
He smiled at you brushing the strands of hair out of your face. “Are you alright?“
You brushed through his wild curls as well and muttered “of course.“
He leaned down to you his breath fanning your face once again. “Good. Tell me if anything changes.”
He leaned down to you and kissed you tenderly, his plush lips pressing against yours. Carefully you returned his gesture but he didn’t stop there as usual.
Suddenly you could feel his tongue brushing over your lips which made you tremble and remove yourself from him. “What-“
He didn’t let you finish. “Do you trust me, my love?” You quickly nodded your head.
“I shall lead you then. I have waisted far too many weeks keeping you dissatisfied. I plan on making up for my mistakes tonight.” He whispered to your ear.
“You don’t have to, dear husband. I am happy as is.” You whispered back.
“I most certainly have to. Let me do this please. I no longer desire to be mocked by my uncle and feel he is right. I shall have you quivering and singing underneath me.”
You couldn’t help but whimper at that.
“Second lesson. Worship her body. I mean kiss her, touch her, feel her up. Not only down under but everywhere. Even her tits. Especially her tits.“
“Jacaerys~”
“Call me Jace, my love. Everybody does so.” He breathed down your throat and kissed the lobe of your ear.
He started to scatter kisses all over your shoulder and the bending of your neck as well, going lower and lower.
Driven by the desperate need to hold onto something your hands went up into his hair and slightly pulled at his unkempt curls.
Your body was now acting on its own needs and without realising you threw your head back and pushed your hips up against him.
As a reaction to the friction he received from your movement Jace unwillingly bit into the softness of your cleavage.
You let out a surprised hiss and pulled on his hair even harder.
You lightly pulled his head back until he was looking at you through lewd eyes. Your pupils were slightly dilated and your eyes blown wide with wanton which only made him grin boyishly.
“Fuck. My apologies, my love. Seems like you will have to wear dresses with a rather high neckline for some time. I left quite the mark there.“ he chuckled.
Your walls clamped, your slick gushing out. You had never before seen him like this let alone heard him swear so freely.
Without a second thought you pulled him down again and kissed his lips. Once again he was licking your lower lip but this time you didn’t pull away,
Instead you opened your mouth granting him entry.
His tongue found yours quickly, circling and sucking it. It practically had you rolling your hips and this time Jace pushed back, accommodating his rhythm to yours until the two of you were mindlessly grinding against each other while your tongues were almost doing the same.
One of his hands was resting next to your head, holding your face while he held his weight up on his arm. The other hand was brushing your sensitive skin with his fingertips, sometimes tickling a little.
Until this hand finally had a purpose when it wandered straight to your breast. Your mounds were hardened, peaking through the thin layer of clothing
Jace tested the waters by only gingerly pinching one of them. When you broke the kiss to push your head back into the pillow and softly moan he immediately twisted and pinched a little harder which resulted in your eyes squinting and your hips stuttering.
Jace bit his swollen lip and groaned at the sight before him. How could he have possibly missed out on this up to now?
He let go of your breast and stopped his movements all together. Your eyes opened and when you saw him grinning down at you with a raised brow, you blushed and tried to look away.
But he didn’t let you and instead used his now free hand to grab your chin and make you look at him.
His stare was stern and intense and you were struggling with holding it but you didn’t look away this time.
“I would like to undress you now if that is okay with you.“ he said while caressing your skin and hair.
You nodded. You always liked your husband, even back when he was only one of many suitors you long preferred him over anybody else but this night might just make you fall in love with him.
“Yes, Jacaerys, it is more than okay for me.“
His hands let go of you as he sat up on his knees to balance himself and they now grabbed the inside of your thighs which made you gasp and close them.
You looked at him through apologetic eyes. “I’m sorry, my prince.”
He raised his brows. “Do not apologise or call me your prince. What is the matter, my love? It is not as if I have never touched or seen what hides between your thighs before.“
You blushed and looked away. “I know you have. But this- this is so… different-“ you stuttered quietly.
“How so?“ he wondered and you just knew he was being ignorant. He knew, he only wanted you to tell him.
You whined, pouting a little and looking back at him through innocent eyes but when he did not budge you sighed.
“Because this is more intense. More intimate.“ your face was burning up so much you had no desire to know how you looked like right now.
For Jace on the other hand you looked really adorable right now. He chuckled, freeing you from your suffering. “I see. Shall I undress first then?“
You only nodded and looked him up and down which made you realise something you payed no attention to so far. He was still wearing what he wore to the feast.
“You’re not wearing anything fitting for the bed.“ you noticed, brushing over his tunic.
“I was not planning on wearing anything when I sleep over at your chambers tonight, my love.“
Your breath instantly hitched. He was panning for this?
Carefully you tucked at his tunic. “Take it off. Jace~ please.”
He only slowly started to unbuckle the belt around his waist, unbuttoning his tunic even slower.
You whined. “Stop being a tease~ please.”
He smirked and got out of bed and up entirely brushing his tunic off his shoulders.
You sat up and stared at him through blown eyes. It was not as if you had never seen his body before but you had never mustered him so extensively.
His skin was tanned and his shoulders broad. His chest was beautifully shaped and there was a little line of hair going down to where his sex was.
Your eyes wandered up to his meeting his intense stare once again and it made a shiver run down your spine.
Jaces big hands went to his trousers and just as before he removed them tauntingly slow.
You whined again, this time louder. “I told you not to be a tease!”
Without another word he let his trousers fall to the ground and your eyes automatically shot down again. He was simply perfect.
It was standing up, touching Jace’s stomach. Tip colored in a dark red color and leaking and it made you feel almost proud.
Naked and as the gods formed him Jace stood before your bed still staring down at your small frame.
Your legs were angled up, your knees touching your chest while you rested all of your weight on your palms.
“You cannot tell me what to do or not do, dear wife. I am your husband after all.” He reminded you, getting your attention again and though you knew he didn’t mean it, you frowned, feeling sorry.
Without another word he nakedly climbed on the bed, crawling towards you.
Once he was face to face with you smiled again as he did too.
“So I” he kissed your forehead “can only tell you what to do.”
Your eyes closed at the touch of his lips with your head. “What shall I do, my love?” you whispered, your hand touching his chest, caressing his defined muscles.
Jace groaned at you using this nickname as well and your touch and harshly pressed his lips against yours.
Again your hand went in his hair straight away, brushing it out of his face, clinging to it.
He moaned to your lips. “I love it when you do that. Keep your hands in my hair, love. Do not remove them, no matter what.”
“Third lesson. Use your tongue on her, boy. Eat her cunt like a man starved. Women do love that.“
Finally he took your night gown in his hands and pulled it over your head in a swift movement.
Without shame he starred at you, his hands squeezing your breast which made you whimper and lay back down.
“I should have appreciated your body much sooner. Only ever doing what was necessary. My poor, poor lady wife. Must have felt so frustrated and unsatisfied.”
He openly mocked you and all you could get out was a pathetic whimper.
“All of it will end tonight.” he whispered in your ear, biting the lope.
Without realizing your thighs spread wider at his action and you pulled his hair. “Jace~”
Jacaerys looked down at your legs, biting his lips and smirking at your subconscious reaction. “You are the most perfect woman I have ever laid eyes upon. I dare even say the most perfect human.”
“Jacaerys, please.” You pleadingly looked at him through blown eyes. “T-touch me.”
Your face became of a deep red color but you still held his intense stare. You couldn’t quite believe what you had just asked of him. No woman of your class should ever beg for such lewd doings.
Or even desire them at all.
Jace could do nothing but chuckle at your embarrassed face and take it in his hand “Where do you desire my touch the most, my love?”
“Perhaps” he whispered “here?” His thumb lightly brushed over your bottom lip.
“Or maybe” his fingertips tickled your neck and down your shoulder to your hand “here?”
Softly he took your hand in his.
And then suddenly not so soft anymore he pinned it over your head, down onto the mattress which made you yelp in shock.
“Perhaps you don’t even want me to touch you with my hands at all? Would you rather I use my mouth, my love?”
Your eyebrows knitted and right when you wanted to ask him about the meaning behind his questions his mouth went straight down to your breast.
Your back arched when you gasped and tried to pull his head away with your hand that had remained in his hair.
“Oh~” you sighed, having no other choice than finally relaxing at his touch when he didn’t move away.
He licked and bit your mound, sometimes even sucking as if he were a babe.
Oddly enough it felt amazing and you couldn’t stop arching into him and letting out shallow breaths.
“Fuck~ so sensitive here, my love. Perhaps someday I could make you cum just by paying attention to your tits.”
You gasped at his vulgarity, it made you shiver and pull his head up to look at him. “Fuck~ never stop pushing and pulling my hair.”
You giggled girlishly and brushed through his wild curls. “I would never.”
Quickly he got back to his work but this time switched sides, paying attention to your other mound until your loud breathing turned into whining from all the soreness.
Once again he switched sides, teasing and testing you and never touching down were you needed him most.
Not even when you started to push your hips up, desperately trying to get some friction. “Jace~ enough, please. ‘m s-so sore.”
He detached himself and stared for a few seconds as if in awe, lightly biting it one last time, making you whimper.
Without another word he spread your legs as far as he could to comfortably settling between them and kissed his way from your stomach down.
Every once in a while he bit your skin which had you squirming in anticipation. He certainly knew how to take his time.
When he finally was eye level with your core, he didn’t came to a halt and instead started to kiss down your inner thighs as well.
“Jace~ my love, please. Please do not do this to me. You are being mean. I- I need your touch. Please.”
You panted, trying to pull him up by his hair, not caring about any decency anymore.
“So impatient. Do you not want me to enjoy this as well as you?” He said, his hot breath hitting your wetness while talking, making you gasp.
You quickly nodded “Yes, of course I want you to enjoy yourself.”
“Very well.” He mumbled, distracted by the sight in front of his eyes. “But I won’t make you wait any longer.”
He sticked out his tongue, flattening it and then took a long lick up your cunt, now having eye contact with you.
“Oh~ Gods~“ you moaned, arching your back. “What-“
“I need you to relax, my love. I promise you will like it.” he murmured against your core. His hot breath making you shudder.
“I- I already liked it. It was only much of an sur- OH” he experimentally sucked on your little bundle of nerves he so far had barely touched before, rudely interrupting you and making you yelp.
Your hand that was still im his hair gripped it tightly, making him groan in the process. The vibration of it got you to clench your thighs around his head.
“Respectfully. You talk too much.” he murmured once again. “Simply enjoy.”
You pathetically whimpered, not mustering any more than a nod. He could only smile at that.
He licked with his tongue again, circling your clitoris with it. Your breath fastened, free hand desperately searching for something to hold onto as well.
Silently Jace took it in his, squeezing lightly. He didn’t part from your core though, still feasting on you as if you were his most favorite meal.
You imagined your slick to be smeared across his chin and lips by now and it made you embarrassed and excited all the same.
Suddenly grabbed your thighs, putting your legs on his shoulders, your feet touching his back. His hands now holding your hips.
Your again free hand went up, fisting the cover of the cushion. His tongue was now flicking your bud in a fast motion.
You couldn’t help but stretch your lower half in the air, putting it right in his face. “Jace~”
His name left your lips like a prayer. Whispered, moaned, whined and whimpered. Your eyes wandered down, meeting his intense stare.
And then one of his hands left your hip, brushing the inside of your thigh. While he was still sucking at you, two of his fingers were now prodding at your entrance.
You gasped “Jacaerys- what-“ but he again interrupted you this time by pushing his fingers in, your walls welcoming them.
“So wet and warm. Tell me how you are feeling, my love.” He now parted from you, messily cleaning his face with the back of his other hand.
All the while his fingers were moving slowly in and out of you, making it hard to answer properly. “Good~ oh I~ I feel good.”
His previous cleaning was to no use when he simply chuckled and dived right back in getting back to work immediately.
It was as if he could not get enough of it.
“Fourth lesson, the most important one, you cannot and will not enter her before she isn’t as slick as a snail. Best if you have her finish at least once before you even attempt to your own pleasure.”
His fingers were moving at a rapid pace now, keeping a steady rhythm with his tongue, making you wonder if it wasn’t tiring for his muscles.
But you couldn’t really worry about that, your head being to full of Jace. His scent, his body against yours, his hair tingling your thighs.
Out of reflex you brushed it out of his face, his wild curls stickig to his forehead and neck.
Suddenly your entire body tightened when he hit a special spot inside of you. You moaned loudly “Jace~ stop it.”
But he didn’t. Instead he looked at you through thick lashes, fingers curling and massage said spot, mouth sucking.
“Jacaerys. Please~ hah” you were now trying to crawl away from him, his hand moving across your stomach, pinning your hip down as good as he could.
“I feel weird. Let us take a break OH GODS” your legs practically suffocated him, squeezing his head. Again he did not stop, still looking at you.
You were wondering if perhaps he was searching for any actual discomfort on your part, because even though you were begging him to stop you also felt you might cry if he actually did.
A strange sensation was building up inside you, stomach tingling, muscles tightening and most importantly your core was almost itching.
It felt as if you needed to get rid of this itch, grinding up on him to soothe the feeling.
“Your cunt is clenching so much, I have trouble believing you want me to stop.” Jace whispered against your core.
You couldn’t even answer, only violently shaking your head and welcoming the relieving feeling that washed over you.
You were whining so loud, you wondered if everyone could hear but you did not care. The only thing you cared about was him. Between your legs. Making you feel things you had never felt before.
And then it was all over. Your back arched one last time, thighs squeezing your husband incredibly tight. A wave of pleasure washing from your head down through your body to your tows.
Pretty much immediately it was all too much. His touch was now burning and you were practically pushing his head away.
“S’ too much.” You slurred. Your eyes were heavy, as was your breathing. Your legs now felt sore and weak.
Carefully Jace took them in his hands, removing them from his shoulders. He gently put them down on the mattress, coming up to you.
When he was eye level with you, he took in your figure. You seemed quite overwhelmed, one hand still very loose in his hair, which he also carefully removed, holding it in his hands.
Your other arm was hanging over your forehead and closed eyes. Your face was flushed and Jace couldn’t help but grin.
“How are you feeling, my love?” he whispered, pecking your lips. Weakly you returned his favor.
“Quite well I think.” you laughed breathlessly. “Tank you.”
Jace could only chuckle at you for thanking him. “Feels good, does it not? Have I never had you do that before?” he asked, a frown adorning his face.
Your face was flushed, cheeks red and breath still heavy. “Do what?”
He shaked his head the tiniest bit almost unnoticeable. “Finish. Have I never had you finish before?”
“I- I am unsure of it. So far I was not told a woman could even do that, my love.” you admitted lowering your arm and looking at him “Is that offensive to you?”
“No! Gods no. It should be to you. I have been ignoring your needs.”
“I was not aware I had those needs, Jace. Do not beat you up on it. I beg you.” You lifted your head up, looking in his saddened eyes.
“Which was my fault. I should have introduced you to all the good sides of a marriage. I failed. My uncle-“
“Your uncle is a drunken fool.” You interrupted his doubting “I doubt he has ever done to any Lady what you have done for me tonight. He has a loud mouth, I believe most of his talk is untrue.”
One of your hands brushed through his hair, stroking his cheek while the other held your weight up.
“Besides I decide whether or not you are a good husband and I decide that you are. I am content, I am happy, Jacaerys, I am pleased.”
Slowly you got fully up, pushing him down by his chest, swinging a leg over him and putting your weight on his thighs.
“What exactly are you doing?” your husband wondered, his hands automatically grabbing your hips.
Without answering you took his sex in your hand and slowly stroked it. “Ohh~ oh gods. What-“
“I am returning the favor, my love.”
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#// yt comments from older people on scambait improv type videos are so sweet! yeah it IS like an old radio show!#(older people are usually the targets of these scams so their kids will send them these scambait vids and the comments are so sweet.)#but yeah!! take this as a comment that Al got for her work last night! she had a good time. modern comedy radio sketch with#unknown participants haha!! and they fumbled the bag by wasting their time with al radiodemon!#('how would they have known' well dawg she was broadcasting the whole thing)#⌖ based v*xtube#(they should have tuned in)
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