#unironically what I used to do is just take a random word and make it the title but that got too complicated as I went on so I just gave up

[astolfofo]

Ngl I just couldn't thought of any title so I grabbed the most recent song I listened to 😭😭 the naming pain is real

HSLDkfJOIUNOUN, that's actually p smart tho (also ur music taste >>>>>)

I honestly agree actually. I don't even title my fics at this point, I just paste it into tumblr titleless 💀💀. Legit just gave up on naming and titles. No cap, naming the fic is even worse than proofreading fics. And proofreading fics is already a pain.

[o-sachi]

Oliver Aiku ‧₊˚ ⋅ Relationship Headcanons + Mini Scenario

ଳ character; oliver aiku (blue lock) ଳ tags; sfw, gn reader, no y/n

— He uses pick up lines unironically. He used it to get you and he still uses it after he already got you to say yes to him. Everyone else thinks it's corny as hell, but you eat it up anyway. (That's just another reason why he loves you so much).

— He's kinda bad at reading the atmosphere. Usually he'll be teasing you and it's alright; nothing out of the ordinary. But sometimes you're just not in the mood and it takes him a while to catch your drift. He'd take one last jab at you before realizing and apologizing like a poor little puppy.

— HE IS THE TYPE TO BRAG ABOUT YOU TO HIS FRIENDS. They'll be talking about their significant others and he'll always butt in just to brag about you. Like, okay dude, we get it. You're a lovesick puppy.

— You've told him a million times not to do it, but he'll rub his stubbly chin on your arm to get a rise out of you. It's not that you hate his stubble; in fact, it looks great on him! The feeling of him purposefully rubbing it on you is a bit irritating though... especially with that cocky grin on his face as he does it.

— His love language that he gives is a tie between words of affection and physical touch. HE WILL BUTTER YOU UP PERIODT. Like sometimes you know he's blatantly lying to your face to make you feel better, but you know he does it out of his immense admiration for you.

— The love language he likes to receive is either acts of service or physical touch. It depends on the mood really. But he loves loves loves it when you treat him like a lil baby. Sir, you are a grown ass man. But pamper him a bit and serve him a nice home cooked meal and he will be on his knees.

— Not only is he a defender on the field, but the man is so protective of you. Someone was a little bit rude to you? Oh boy... there will be consequences. Although, he tries not to be TOO scary, especially in front of you.

— Aiku lets you steal his clothes. Sometimes he'll even offer it to you. He'll deny that he just bought that sweatshirt, insisting that he got tired of it and now it's all yours.

ᯓ Ice Cream

It was a suuuuuper long day of working yourself to the bone. The only thing you were looking forward to was eating the ice cream you bought yesterday and relaxing on the couch, watching some random Netflix show.

As soon as you stepped into the apartment, you chucked your shoes off and threw your bag God-knows-where. You made a beeline to the freezer where your favorite ice cream should be.

Keyword: should.

But for some strange reason... the dessert just wasn't there.

You closed your eyes, breathing in and breathing out. You tried so hard to think of happy thoughts, otherwise you'd explode right then and there.

"Oh, hey. You're home. Didn't hear you."

Turning to look at where the familiar voice came from, you were met with your boyfriend's lazy smile.

Look. You were no detective, but putting 1 and 1 together is no difficult task. He. Ate. Your. Ice cream.

And not a hint of remorse was present on his stupidly handsome face.

"Why'd you eat my ice cream?"

Despite the firmness in your tone, his grin didn't falter. "What ice cream?"

You huffed out in annoyance, knowing that he wasn't taking you seriously again. "Seriously. I was looking forward to that and now what?"

Clicking your tongue, you averted your gaze. The more you looked at him, you feared that you would say something hurtful. "Never mind. I think I just need to sleep this off."

Not another word was spoken by him as you walked past by. He finally understood that you were in no mood for games at the moment and he decided to respect that. It was the least he could do after eating your happiness away.

You figured that a long cold shower was what you needed. Maybe you overreacted. But then again, after all this stress, was a small taste of joy so hard to get? Whatever. You'll apologize and sleep it off. Then, if you're up for it, buy a new pint tomorrow. Well... maybe two pints this time, so you know you'll have some left for you.

As you exited the bathroom, you heard the front door click. You checked to see what it was while drying your hair with a towel.

Aiku was panting slightly with a plastic bag in his hand. You stared at each other for a while.

"What's that?"

He holds up the bright red plastic bag. "I bought ice cream. I'm sorry for eating yours. I was being inconsiderate."

The earlier irritation you felt melted away in an instant. A small smile crept on your face as you took a few steps towards him.

"I'm sorry for reacting that way earlier too. Did you run?"

He chuckles, trying to play it cool. "I wanted you to have it after your shower... so yeah... I may or may not have ran to the convenience store."

You closed the distance between the two of you and gave him a soft peck on the cheek. At least now he knows he's forgiven.

"I'll get us some spoons. You go open up that ice cream and pick something for us to watch. 'Kay?"

"Aye aye."

He watches you go into the kitchen to retrieve some spoons, making sure he was out of your sight. He let out the biggest breath of relief.

Lesson learned: Do not mess with someone else's ice cream.

o-sachi © 2024 pls do not translate/copy/reupload my work on other platforms.

[hanjisungslag]

attack on titan headcanons #6

## - random things you say say to each other

genre - crack (?)

pairing - aot x reader

word count - 0.1k

warning - none!!

notes - hai hai ( ^ω^ )

- EREN JAEGER

minus talking about being free and killing all titans, he 100% talks about all the imaginary fights he’d have with the higher ups.

“i think i could beat levi up y’know”

“eren be so for real right now. i know he’s small but goddamn..”

“NO BUT, IF I PUT IN ENOUGH EFFORT LIKE—”

“eren.. SHUT UP RIGHT NOW STOTPTPP”

you slapped your hands over his big mouth because levi was literally walking right past you guys.

- MIKASA ACKERMAN

“i think i could kill a titan with a spoon”

“oh. i-i believe in you babe!”

- ARMIN ARLERT

you always make shit weird.

“i wonder what the ocean will feel like between your toes”

“i mean like i can recreate the feeling….”

“y/n. PLEASE STOP”

- JEAN KIRSTEIN

he also talks about beating people up, thinks he’s so cool (humble him). he does talk about omelettes, working with the royals and you a lot though.

“nah, y’know that fight with eren? i was just tired honestly likeee…”

“jean.”

“I WAS THOUGH, I TRAINED HARD OKAY”

“I COULD TAKE HIM IF I WANTED TO”

“shhh… eat your omelette.”

- SASHA BRAUS

talks about really weird food combinations.

“what if i dipped some fruit in some meat juice and had bread with it”

“… actually.”

“what?”

“i’m down to try that one!”

so, you both ran off and tried some 😄

- CONNIE SPRINGER

talks utter shit

“if the beast titan was a lot smaller, he’d be a pretty cool pet.”

“you mean.. like a monkey?”

“YEAH A MONKEY, OH MY GOD YOU’RE SO SMART!”

“…”

- REINER BRAUN

talks about how big and strong he is. picks you up at any given chance.

“so, y/n…”

“REINER, IF YOU ASK ME FOR ANOTHER PIGGYBACK RIDE ISTG”

“PLEASE IM JUST SO BIG AND STRONG, PLEASEEEE”

- ANNIE LEONHART

she walks around like she’s a 6’6 buff man.

“annie babe, you look like you’re walking with something up your ass.”

“i’m just asserting dominance around here”

- BERTOLT HOOVER

all of his stories relate to another (in some way, he says at least) so he just rambles and rambles.

“.. and then you’re really short which reminds me about stems and y’know what reminds me of stems, some long, some short? grapes. and i hate grapes—”

“HOW DID WE END UP HERE”

- ERWIN SMITH

says hubba hubba. unironically.

“lets see the outfit for date night, babe”

“okay, here i come” you stroll out the bedroom in a beautiful long, silk dress that hugged every one of your curves perfectly.

“hubba hubba..”

“haha..thanks.” you said trying not to rip your own hair out due to the cringe that you felt.

- LEVI ACKERMAN

just a lot of shit talk. like literal shit talk.

“how long does it take to get ready? i could’ve had at least 3 shits by now.”

“actually, at this rate, maybe even four.”

you finally walk out, ready for your day of shopping.

“how do you actually calculate that?”

“you don’t wanna know.” he said coldly.

- HANGE ZOË

definitely need to be diagnosed with something.

“how dare titans be killers! imagine if they just didn’t eat us, and were nice - we could keep them as pets!”

“well yeah..”

[sunsetsandsunshine]

If me and my mutual’s were the Spider-gang…

❤️EMERY AS MILES MORALES🖤 @sunsetsandsunshine

Y’ALL ALREADY KNOOOOWWWW 💘💞💖💕💗💓

Artist of the group

My Dad is a police officer AND detective sooooooo…

He has done the “You gotta say I love you back” thing to me multiple times…

Fucking loves having friends and talking to people

COMIC BOOKS ARE LIFE‼️ COMIC BOOKS ARE LOVE‼️

Keeping the collectibles I N S I D E of the box!!! IT STAYS NICE AND FRESH THAT WAY— LIKE PRODUCE YK???!!!

Tries to be quote on quote “cooler” in front of others…

Newsflash? It never works

💝 Family lover all the way 💝

Music is LIFE 🎶🎤🎵🎼…idfk what we’d do without it…

A collector of many random things— rocks, toys, bracelets you NAME it

Hyperactive as HELL

Has a hard time accepting loss

“NAH” “🫠” “UHM…” “AAAAAAAAHHHHH”

A sketchbook for literally every season

When it comes to friendships, I will try everything in my power to maintain it and try to keep it going but once I’m done? I’m done 🫶🏾

A singer 😩🤚🏾

Physical affection 🫣💕💓

Apologies WAAAAAAY too fucking much

H A P P Y. S T I M S.

Suppressed anger issues

Knows way too many people both online and irl

Becomes a whole different person when angry 🥸👍🏾

Beatboxes and raps horribly

Basically Miles is me and I’m Miles ❤️🖤

🤍JOJO AS GWEN STACY🩵 @shut-up-jo

Cool af legit why the hell are you friends with me man—

Musician of the group 🪗🎷🎻🎺🎹🥁🎸

Shows up to your house without warning like you owe her money

In a band (most def)

Says the most DIABOLICAL and out of pocket shit known to MAN

🔥 Would burn down the kitchen if she ever cooked 🔥

Listens to Billy Joel 😌

POPULAR AF

Short af too 🤪🫶🏼

BAD PICK-UP LINES…

Would be cancelled if any of her texts got leaked

“DIE” “KYS” “CHOKE” “STFU”

Had the WORST 2020 phase (I’m sorry ilysm please don’t kill me 🙏🏼)

AOT lover (as you fucking should )

Honesty is the best policy 💋

Changes her voice depending on who she’s talking to

Has the most fucking unhinged and cursed FYP page

Doesn’t matter what social media app…it’s just straight up CURSED

Gives the best advice like oml

Could host a TED-talk but would there’s a 99.9% she would get cancelled

Needs to take a flipping BREAK 💕

Could make a TV show with her life (with like a million specials and crossovers)

Licks the powder off the Doritos and/or Taki’s and puts them back in the bag 😶…

Has burned Barbie’s before

Unironically sings 'Dance Monkey' just because

Your so so silly I love you so much 🤍🩵

💛SANA AS PAVITIR🩷 @itzsana-kiddingmenow

If sunshine were a person 🌞

Has a really toxic fanbase…

✨Anxiety✨

The best cook out of all 4 of us probably

“🥺” “GRRRRRRR” “🙈” “NAUUUR”

Calls people adorable, cute etc but can’t handle when people say that to her 🥹💓

Your adorable btw ☺️

When she’s mad she doesn’t cuss that much but most def just says big words

#TOXICFRIENDSGANG

Takes selfies like every single second 📱

Has Snapchat probably

Has listened to JoJo Siwa’s Karma WAAAAY too many times…

Would fold like a lawn chair if poked in the side 💕

FANGIRL

✨ Bilingual queen ✨

Sobbed for DAYS when MatPat dropped his departure video…

Is way too fucking smart 😉

Has the Ultimate Alpha Sigma Gyatt Rizz but doesn’t know it quite yet 👁️🫦👁️

A tea lover ☕️🍵

Would go to antique stores with people to just look at things and then end up buying the whole ass store

Does cartwheels for funsies

Overthinker ☹️

Could solo Bakugou and win

Is going to be a menace one she learns how to drive

Needs more sleep frfr

My lil sugar cream puff over here you guys 💛🩷

💙ZEEZIE AS HOBIE BROWN❤️ @ziipzeepzop-eez

101% effort in E V E R Y T H I N G

Side-eyes 🤨

Has more rizz than the whole Earth population combined

“FW” “THAT’S RACIST” “TWWINNNN” “YUUURR”

EMOJIS EMOJIS EMOJIS EMOJIS EMOJIS EMOJIS

Did I say emojis?

Comes up with the most cutest freaking nicknames for people 🥹💕🩷☹️💓✨

TAKE A BREAK 😡😡😡

Can most definitely win a dance battle against anyone but acts like she can’t

Dad jokes 🫶🏽

Uses finger guns unironically (through text and in person) 👉🏽👉🏽

Could make a diss-track about so many people 🫢…

Would have a million cats if she could

Probably had a Gacha Life phase

Would go to a movie theater just to watch cat videos on the big screen

Popular af 💕

Friends with legit everyone 🙏🏽

Would actually murder a man if they hurt one of her friends

Has watched Coraline and The Nightmare Before Christmas soooooo many damn times

Guillmero Del Toro’s Pinocchio made her ugly cry (Same here 🫠)

Could solo everyone here on Tumblr easily 👁️👄👁️

Hates Twitter/X but only has it for the ✨drama✨

FAIRY LIIIGHTS

Is most def someone’s opp ☺️

Can multi-task like crazy

So cool and dazzling and aahhhfhfhds 💙❤️

(If any of this makes any of you guys uncomfy just DM me and I can erase it 🫶🏾)

[sadie-bug345]

could you please do greasers handwriting/spelling hcs🙏🙏💗 (like how legible it is)

YESSS ofc pooks🥰🥰

ponyboy:

guy has font handwriting

like he could write a hundred of one letter and theyre all identical

doesnt mean its perfect though

unironically gives comic sans😭

very legible

but not crazy neat

kinda switches between cursive and print way too often

8/10

johnny:

small letters, close together but he really digs into the paper when he writes

like he CARVES stuff in there LMAO

honestly writes pretty slowly and carefully

kinda messy ngl

6/10 when he’s stressed his writing gets WAY worse

sodapop:

actually really good

like you assume it’s ass but it’s surprisingly legible and neat

no one really knows where it came from, cause we sure as hell know he ain’t going to school😭🤓☝️

secretly takes a lot of pride in it

signature eats fs

10/10

darry:

all capital letters😭😭

my dad writes like this so that’s the inspiration

letters really spaced out too

so it’s like neat but also somehow really confusing to read💀💀

also his sentences in general are really practical and simple so it def takes a second to just understand what my guy is talking about LMAOO

5/10 try SOME curves in your letters pls

dally:

now i wouldn’t say serial killer but-

/j

ok so its bad, we all know this, but you just gotta get used to it

all his letters and words blend together but he also skips every other line so it’s just so confusing to look at

why are you double spacing my boy😭

pretty curly letters just cause it’s faster to write like that for him

if you just glance at his paper it looks like ancient runes or smth but once you look at it longer, you make stuff out

4/10 what in the modern art💀

two-bit:

messy and couldn’t give a fuck

he the type to get a homework assignment and just scribble random lines and swooshes just so the teacher thinks he wrote a lot and just give him an A cause i mean, it’s keith

meanwhile in math his problems are all spaced out perfectly like DAMN OK SHOW YOUR WORK TWO BIT

2/10 please get this guy some help🥰

steve:

actually ass oml

like his handwriting hasn’t evolved since first grade

he writes at font pt. 36 too like just HUGE

tone it down my guy please😭

he the type to go thru all the trouble to pass you a note in class and then you look at it and you’re just like “what the fuck is this🧍‍♀️”

1/10 rip to his nonexistent teachers

ANYWAYS TYSM FOR REQUESTINGGG

[enamoredwithbella]

PJO TV CRIT RANT COMING !!

If you don’t want to hear or don’t like it just don’t read it. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion

-

I’ve been on the pjo tv crit tag and I gotta say I agree with most of what’s on there 😭😭

All my praise for the show goes to the actors alone. I’m not stupid I didn’t expect the show to be an exact replica of the books cause that would’ve been boring as well but I feel like say “faithful adaptation” is a bit overzealous.

1. The changes

Some of the changes I love. Like them stopping for candy and Annabeth going in was so cute. Grover using psychological warfare on the God of war ate.

But a lot of the changes were just like ???? What was the point? And all the stuff that they revealed like 4-5 seasons too early. Stuff that was hinted at through the books that built suspense and intrigue just dumped on the table was a bit 😕

I remember finding out about Luke’s mom and why Luke REALLY hated his father. It literally had me gagged it was like finding out something I didn’t even know I was waiting for. The build up to them finding out Kronos involved was always a favorite cause it felt so raw. It was pure fear encapsulated by words, you could feel it, it was palpable and we just didn’t get that in the show. It was so “here you go. Kronos it was him *but said intensely*”

2. Them knowing everything

I do understand how it does make sense that they would know a lot of things from the jump as they all literally grew up with this information but a lot of the times where they didn’t realize exactly what was happening right away in the books have a slight reminder of how young and innocent they are. These neurodivergent 12 year olds who have been tasked with a Gods job and have been trekking across the states for days; yeah I wouldn’t expect them to be at the top of their game ALL THE TIME no matter how smart they are. The slip ups show that even though they’re these tiny warriors they aren’t immune to being a little naive.

3. Setting

I’m not gonna criticize the settings cause if that’s how Rick imagined it then that’s how he imagined it but I can’t blame the ppl who are a bit miffed at how the sets were portrayed. The underworld did truly throw me off.

4. Info dumping ?? Or not enough info idk

I also saw a post about how they would just throw random names out there pertaining to Greek mythology and then just not explain 😭😭 and all the stuff that they left out too (fields of punishment, isle blest, etc) which sets up for things in later seasons. And I understand the time crunch; 8 episodes 40 mins give or take and a dream is what they had. That being said this shit was a mess 🤷🏽‍♀️😭😭 like badly set up, script was not doing them any justice, and it felt so boring most of the time.

5. Whimsy and fun erasure

There were gems I will keep saying that. There were fun times but the fun times also felt very strategically placed whereas in the books it was sorta woven into the chaos. Charon being a lil silly, Grover playing the shooting game in the lotus casino and killing humans (I love him so much 😭😭), annabeth geeking over the architecture of the arch and going on a tangent about how it was made while Grover and Percy trade candy in the back. Talking to the animals and Percy finding out he can speak horse, the car wash where annabeth scares off a grown man in a Lincoln, “shows over! Thank you and goodnight!”, Percy and Grover clowning annabeth for watching the discovery channel unironically. I’m not saying I expected them to put all this shit in there cause again I’m not an imbecile but the type of wit and humor that made everyone fall in love with the books was cut out for the more serious stuff. And what’s so frustrating about that is I KNOW the actors would’ve ate it up. Walker especially that boy IS Percy.

I could keep finding stuff but I’m trying to be grateful cause even after all of this Rick did take the time to try and think of us and maybe it’s not his fault but idk it’s just a bit disappointing after the way it was marketed towards long time fans

Much love to Walker, Leah, and Aryan and hope for future seasons 😊

[zippverschluss]

still currently stuck on bridgerton season 1 (ep.4). i really do wanna watch all seasons before season 3 (and i really wanna go into part 2 unspoiled, so should catch up by june 13th), but honestly it's a drudge. some random thoughts:

i love the jabs and barbs the women of bridgerton throw, quite casually at that most of the time. they are the highlight in every conversation.

love the music.

i love portia featherington and it's got a lot to do with how polly walker imbues her with humanity. if you take the in-show reality and rules of bridgerton serious (and there wouldn't be a show-naming family for whom everything goes), she's the only one who's got her head on straight. also, there are layers to her. especially in regards to marina. also, comic relief.

i don't care for the men very much.

i don't connect with JRP as an actor. it's all there and yet i just feel he looks constipated most of the time.

simon and daphne are both immature and childish and their characterization / story plays out like fanfiction i read at 14.

as unknowing about sex(uality) as daphne (et. female al) is, what does she think "being a rake" means? she uses that word in every second sentence.

also, she never ever (inadvertently) brushed up against herself and thought "oh, now wait a minute..."? i mean, if you don't know about sex, don't know about masturbation, how could those things be taboo or forbidden then? you'd have no intellectual concept for it, just your physical reality. i don't buy what the show is selling.

my biggest gripe right now is that what the women of bridgerton rightly call out as double standards, sexism, toxic masculitiniy, lack of opportunities, marriage mart as meat market etc. is then in the next breath used (unironically) in the writing and characterization of the show.

ugly, plain, not as beautiful = bad, evil, stupid, comic relief (see lord berbrook, lady berbrook, the featheringtons.... nicola coughlan said the note for the costume department in season 1 for penelope was dowdy.)

only naked women as decorations in the background. like, i like looking at naked women, but put a naked man there as well and the effect is wholly different. (also, more educational benefit for the artsy people.)

the really powerful female characters / voices (LW, lady danbury, lady bridgerton, the queen) only concerning themselves with sheperding young women into marriage or making matches. i totally get that that's the raison d'être of the show, which is why i'm still so on the fence about it.

also - just a parallel i noted from what i've seen / read on s3: colin totally pulled a lord berbrook on penelope and marriage trapped her. i've seen takes that she is trapping him with announcing the engagement as LW before he knows the full truth, but in reality he trapped her the moment he interrupted her dance with lord debling (and then entered her carriage). even if she didn't reciprocate his feelings, i'm not sure that after his public display there was much room for her to deny him. and again, his attractiveness = good, therefore in his case compromising the lady is no problemo. at least he's prepared to marry her after dishonouring her in this fashion (looking at you, simon).

i'll finish it simply because the snippets of polin alone make me a bit giddy and gooey and i want the totality of their relationship. but sometimes i roll my eyes so hard i'm afraid they'll get stuck. i definitely feel like i'm taking the show more seriously than it takes itself, but i truly don't know how stop. please help.

[euph0synee]

How i think Mahabharat ppl text Pt.1 :

➪ KRISHNA

- sends most random texts at most random times

- wants u to reply fast

- doesn't replies fast himself tho

- sends selfies of himself with demons he beat up with a proud smile

- uses so many emojis unironically

Krishna : hey do u think mermaids exists?

y/n : ?? idk u tell me U r the god NOT ME ??

Krishna : why would i tell u if mermaids existed? ur prolly gonna eat them u non-vegetarian bitch !!

y/n : send me another text and see how fast i block ur ass.

➪ BALARAM

- serious texter

- uses punctuation

- one word replies and at most he'll send a sentence that's it

- leaves u on seen

- can't take emojis seriously at all and thinks they're exaggerated and stupid

y/n : hey !! how r u?

balaram : alright.

y/n : oh...

(seen)

➪ SUBHADRA

- sends cat memes

- replies fast

- literally the cutest texter using all those Koamojis

- never leaves anyone on seen

- always texting to check up on her friends

Subhadra : hi y/n ^^

y/n : hi subhadra !!

Subhadra : hru? just checking in~

y/n : I'm ok how about u?

Subhadra : I'm so good !!

➪ DRAUPADI

- texts only when she feels like it

- only replies to Arjuna and leaves everyone else on delivered

- always compliments her friends when texting

- always takes screenshots of convos in case she need them in future 💀

- doesn't has anyone's number saved except for krishna (he saved it on her phone bc he knew she wouldn't)

Draupadi : hey Arya, can u take the trash out of my room pls? (trash = duryodhan)

y/n : girl 💀 do u not even have ur husband's number saved?

Draupadi : who r u?

y/n : it's y/n 😭

Draupadi : oh. ok can u take the trash out? (trash = duryodhan)

➪ ARJUNA

- will literally ghost u

- replies fast when he does but then disappears for days, months even years

- would text a "lol i died" when he comes back again

- doesn't ghost krishna (bc krishna prolly shows up in his dreams chasing him down if he ghosts him)

- always has atleast 1000+ unread texts

y/n : can u send me the pictures pls?

Arjuna : ok hold on

thousands years later

Arjuna : hey srry i died !!

y/n : it's ok so did my grandma.

Arjuna : ?? what??

y/n : boy my grandma y/n has been dead for past 20 years !! ur too late.

Arjuna : damn 💀 rip tho ig

//lol i enjoyed making this. comment if u want part 2 too and send in request if u want any specific headcannons or fanfics lol !!

[justworthlessreblogs]

some waffleverse phone headcanons because i mentioned one while writing movie fic and now i’m thinking about it

the cures set up a groupchat shortly after the macaron & waffle vs. elisio fight, in case they’re ever caught unaware again, so that way whatever cure(s) that have encountered the villain of the week can message the gc and the others will come running. it is only used for precure business about 10% of the time. the other 90% is just memes

rio vaguely knew what phones were because he’d see people with them in paris and at school but jean-pierre wasn’t really a phone user and he didn’t hang out with his classmates (too busy doing evil stuff) and noir’s evil lair or whatever obviously didn’t have smartphones and while the kirapati has a phone it’s a really, really old landline (think one of those old wood box phones with the disks that look like eyes) so when he finally sees one up close he’s like Holy Fuck What Is This Sorcery. ciel gets him one (given her somewhat-celebrity status i’m assuming she has money tucked away somewhere) shortly after part 4 and he doesn’t look up from it for an entire day

rio starts out typing extremely formally but gradually starts incorporating abbreviations and no capitalization as he settles into the group

ichika overuses exclamation points and unironically uses XD and :3

yukari only uses the cat emojis. if there’s no cat emoji equivalent she will instead type out the word it’s supposed to represent just because she can

akira capitalizes properly but uses zero punctuation

himari uses proper grammar but takes 5 minutes to send a message because she will constantly retype/alter it to make sure it’s phrased correctly

aoi refuses to use any sort of proper grammar. half of her messages are indecipherable because she uses so many abbreviations it’s impossible to tell what the context was

ciel will sometimes send entire text messages in french and it becomes a game to see who can google translate it the fastest

ichika sends messages at the most random times. it’ll be 4:27 am and she’ll be texting everyone her live reaction to whatever show she’s watching. akira, woken up by the sound of her phone’s notifications blowing up, is begging her to go back to sleep because they have school in 4 hours. rio, also woken up by this, promptly leaves the groupchat. yukari readds him 5 seconds later. he leaves. she readds him. this goes on for ten minutes before rio finally admits defeat (and figures out how to put his phone on silent)

[othernaut]

Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society: the funniest fucking Wikipedia article I've ever read.

It starts off so, so strong.

You know you're getting into some prime, dry-narrative/hilarious-subject Wikipedia magic here. The sheer absurdity of the phrase slaps you in the face like a single, tyrannical testicle. But what is the subject, if not Hitler's lonely genital? To quote:

"Hitler Has Only Got One Ball", sometimes known as "The River Kwai March", is a World War II British song, the lyrics of which, sung to the tune of the World War I-era "Colonel Bogey March", impugn the masculinity of Nazi leaders by alleging they had missing, deformed, or undersized testicles."

And again...

"The song has been cited as an example of morally-correct disrespect that used political mockery to boost morale in wartime."

So, in short, a meme song. A World War II meme song. About Hitler's balls. Ball. But Hitler's ball does not stand alone! We have so many other nads to talk about, as the lyrics propose:

"Hitler has only got one ball, Göring has two but very small, Himmler is rather sim'lar, But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all."

And which, being magical, beautiful Wikipedia, came...

... with reference images...

... the world's most beautifully captioned reference images...

... for every single line...

... of the song. Fuck me, I need these printed on a flag, that I might wave it around at protests.

The article then just delves into analysis, the kind of in-depth Hitler Study analysis that comes from generations of bone-dry academics with respected positions and better salaries than me picking apart every single word, reference, and poetic intimation of a four-line World War II meme song. For example...

Suggestions, opinions, papers written about Hitler's one ball. Respected academics whistling the ball song in between measured responses. And what the hell is mad studies?

Well, that's going to be me for the rest of the night. But no! We mustn't get distracted! If we do, we miss the gender theory!

The Shakespeare!

The guy trying to profit off of the meme song!

The apocrypha!

And the second verse!

Rommel has four or five, I guess, No one's quite sure 'bout Rudolf Hess, Schmeling's always yelling, But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all.

Which is where we get into the most wonderfully Wikipedia part of it all as, being a hyperlinked encyclopedia of everything, every single reference, diversion, supposition, paper, field of study, side subject and random-ass tangent links into an evening's worth of wide-eyed eurekae initiated, again, by a World War II meme song about testicles. Nothing has made me want to donate two bucks to Wikipedia more than this.

History is a liquid. It takes the shape of its container, that being the cultural context of the present moment. The most magical moments in history, I find, are those points when people act like people - Pompeii's dirty graffiti, the fart enlightenment poem, the sports riots, the little obsessions, in-jokes, and memes. That jolt of connection when you see a 2,000-year-old dick drawn onto a latrine wall and recognize not only what it is but why it is - that is actually, seriously one of the most compelling feelings of human unity there is. People are still people. People were always people. Farts will always be funny. When we're alone and scared, we'll sing songs about balls, and that's unironically what makes us wonderful.

And so, in the same vein, to the same melody, but for a new time, I'd like to submit...

Bezos' dick fell off in space

Jerkin' it on the human race

Elon's has got no feelin'

I don't think Zuck had one in the first place.

[mrsmarymorstan]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

Oh god, from ANY MEDIA EVER?! That's a lot! 28+ years worth of #Content to remember... I'm just gonna be totally random about it I think and this is not an actual ranking!!! Just who first springs to mind. I'll also try not to double up on franchises.

1) Misty (Pokémon) - She was The Girl One and also Not Like Other Girls! I was five, okay?

2) Kyo Sohma (Fruits Basket) The boy who set me down the path of Monster Hugging and Furrydom. If you want details my entire blog exists lol

3) Sir Gwaine (BBC Merlin) Baby's first Dose of Heteronomativity! Plus he helped introduce me to amazing crack ships and made me laugh and broke my heart!

4) Jadzia Dax (Star Trek DS9) - She's just SO COOL! She's semi-immortal, is both an expert on gender and doesn't believe in it, is canonically queer, snarky AF, knows all about Klignons, is very pretty, and does THE SCIENCE!!! Plus she marries Worf and I mean goals.

5) Grog Strongjaw (Critical Role) - He is the definition of Positive Masculinity. An Aromantic King. My precious Baby Boy who could rip me in half if he wanted to but wouldn't. The man who makes me laugh and makes me cry. I miss him so much, I just want more Grog in my life when will he return from the war Matthew???

6) Uncle Newt (John Finnemore's Souvenir Program S9) - A Canonical Asexual Icon, breaking and healing my heart all at once, hell yes to historical queers and elder queers helping to raise baby queers and the found family trope and LOOK JUST LISTEN TO SERIES 9 OKAY?! (They don't use the WORD Asexual but that's because Newt wouldn't KNOW that word but everything about him and his character descriptions and his arc SCREAMS Asexual)

7) Kanade Miyako (Twinkle Stars) - Takaya-sensei made a character so relateable to me I just sat there and cried the whole time. The Academic burn out? The pressure to conform to expectations? Not knowing what to do with your life? Seeing the way she had the narrative treat him as a guide to myself to just take care and take things one step at a time? That it doesn't matter what others say, taking baby steps to heal yourself important and you shouldn't dismiss that. URGH. TAKAYA-SENSEI!!! WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME?!

8) Stephanie Brown (DC Comics) - Purple Clad Icon who tries her hardest and doesn't always succeed but DAMN IT if she isn't gonna crawl back on her feet again no matter what!!! Every single shitty thing a male writer can do to a female character has been done to her, and she's STILL STANDING!!! I will defend her to my last breath.

9) Mary Morstan (Sherlock Holmes) Very few adaptions ever do my girl justice and it's SO FRUSTRATING!!! But god I love her. I love how she's so strong not in a badass Hashtag No Fear way but in the way she is terrified and scared and still goes forward anyway! She's also snarky and loves to tease her husband (and his boyfriend) and I just wish more adaptations understood her! I think the best version of her I've seen is the Ritchie Verse version? More like that please!

10) Gilbert (Being Human) He was in it for one episode and is an absolute Icon. All those years and the only thing he had to do to find his door was to fall in love unironically? He just had to be honest with himself and his feelings. Also this:

(I debated putting the Sarcastic Vicar here but decided upon Gilbert in the end 💜)

[sirellas]

I was putting off buying that Seven book because I'd rather get it from a library some time in a future. Can you give an example what specifically is making you want to dnf it? I wasn't very optimistic about it but I've seen some people speaking positively about it.

Disclaimer that this is all ultimately personal preference and I'm sure there are people who will like this book for the exact reasons I don't,,, but to me Seven of Nine is one of the smartest characters, if not in Star Trek as a whole then at least in her own novel, or she should be. And yet in the first chapter she meets a woman she describes as unreadable (and who I assume will turn out to be what's her name evil lady from the Stardust City Rag ep who eventually betrays her) and then Seven just immediately opens up and trusts her. And this is supposedly well into her rangerhood and she's already jaded and a known people distruster. There's even a moment where the stranger spews a dumb heartfelt story to appeal to Seven's good will and it's just so obviously a trick, but Seven just goes along with it as if a page earlier she hadn't been complaining in her internal narration about people taking advantage of the rangers LOL. I will admit that after that Stardust City Rag ep, I was intrigued by the backstory of Seven and that evil lady! Like, how could Seven let someone like that in enough to be betrayed <- it was compelling! But if the answer is just "she was a pretty lady at a bar and Seven was gullible" ...... come on :[

Also I just can't figure out this writing style. I guess it's third person limited, mostly from Seven's pov, but so much of the narration I'm like... she would not fucking think like that or talk like that, even in her own head. She uses the word "donnybrook" unironically and she worries about meeting gangs because she's not sure she could defend herself. There's a convo between her and Janeway that I could not picture either of them actually saying those words. It just felt out of character and wrong.

Random examples of my "she would not say that" vibes:

I did read all the way to the third chapter and yeah... I'm gonna stop there. I will be interested to read a full synopsis of the plot once I can find some real spoilers, but from what I read I am not compelled to finish it. It just feels very... written by someone who doesn't get Seven. And I don't even feel like I'm that much of a Seven expert, but I do know what she isn't lol. I saw the people on here talking positively about it too and was intrigued, but I feel like this book is just going to be the same thing as Picard was: presents interesting ideas and doesn't follow through on them.

[4dtk]

jaehyun as a bf

anon: “your writing brings me butterflies i love it you are so underrated!!!!! would love to request a jaehyun bf headcanons (like the one you did of mark <3)” thank you for the kind words anon <333 hope you enjoy this one!

(a bit of a plug lol but check out NCT 127's ideal r/s headcanons in this post!! i appreciate you checking it out! <3)

brief mentions of sex, but nothing explicitly nsfw!

likes to talk about music with you

especially jazz. there’s a plethora of songs out there with different renditions and sometimes he likes to ramble about who’s rendition he likes best

would play the piano for you if you asked, just maybe not after schedules or something. but usually when you’re free or alone together in the room, he likes you to sit beside him to listen to him play

you guys like to play a little game where he’ll play the chords and you play like a random note to create blobs of music

even if you don’t know how, the way the session always dissolves into giggles is his favourite thing in the world

if you know how to play the piano that’s great too!! jaehyun just likes the unexpected notes that come out since there’s no set melody in his mind

jaehyun needs to have some part of his body on yours at all times. like he has to hold your hand all the time, or a finger hooked around your backpack, or an arm around your waist.

at least when you’re together he does it very often and he’s just. obsessed with you lmfao

it’s also the reason he buys a promise ring when he’s sure of you as a significant other so you always have a part of him with you (his love)

would buy you those lockets for you to put pictures inside. he doesn’t care where you wear it though, around your neck, wrist, ankle, as long as the locket is on your person

he clings onto you like crazy in the mornings. jaehyun’s a heavy sleeper and likes to hug you on his side, so you’re always having trouble trying to pry him off of you in the morning

a bit nsfw: he likes morning lazy sex lol, ngl. jaehyun adores the rawness of your relationship in the morning and the sleepiness in your eyes when you’re gently pushing him away. he knows you don’t mean it but he makes sure you really want it first

loves the sunlight kissing your skin and the slow, gentle movements

so so intimate, he prefers it to the rougher forms of sex, but sometimes he doesn’t have that luxury since they leave for schedules quite often in the wee hours of dawn

for cuddling sense, jaehyun likes it when you’re under his arm and cuddled into his side. classic position but he dies every time inside when you look up at him and there’s this clueless look you have. has the biggest smile on his face after and you have to repeat the stuff you said bc he’s too distracted by how your eyes shine

second hot favourite (more of when you’re making out) is when you’re straddling him. nothing sexual, just like you on top of him when you’re kissing and stuff. he digs it when you’re pulling away for oxygen and he has to lift his body to reach for your lips again

gets flustered from kissing, but doesn’t show it. if he’s found a way to suppress the crazy crimson on his ears (which i doubt) then he will but his words will always contradict his expression

jaehyun can say “are you nervous, y/n?” with a smirk but his ears keep giving him away!!!!

mfer’s hands are shaking too when he trails it over your body. in disbelief you’re his.

sometimes shamelessly moans into the kiss LOL, not too loud but he whines when you pull away, and has to kiss you breathless again

when you kiss him, expect like a long-lasting kiss. doesn’t mind small pecks and stuff but he’ll want to savour your lips a little longer than a mere peck

jaehyun likes your neck too. when you’re hugging his face is always in your neck, placing small little butterfly kisses

you need to look out for him, always. mans always tripping over something at some point. it’s become more frequent now that he has you and my god he’s so unable to keep his eyes off of you that he trips over simple things. he once tripped over nothing

on the daily when he’s not tripping over you, he’s clumsy in a sense where he drops food on the table. he once struggled to tie up his growing hair into a mini ponytail bc it was just too little hair. the hair tie slipped from his fingers and shot itself into your face - those kinds of small small mishaps

it’s endearing but sometimes you can’t help but laugh at him

likes to take you out on impromptu dates. dates that are close by and easy to plan (?) i guess.

not saying jaehyun is a lazy boyfriend but he likes the more candid dates where you decide what to do as you go along. of course if it’s a big day like your anniversary or birthdays then he’d want to plan something out.

other than that, he just either lets you choose the places to go there or you two decide along the way. he doesn’t want to impose options for you and pressure you. if he’s being honest, he wouldn’t know where to go either lol so he just follows wherever you bring him

laughs so much when he’s with you. giggles, deep laugh, whatever you name it. your relationship is very light-hearted and he finds that he’s the one laughing more when you deliver jokes even tho he wants to make you laugh too

i can’t lie… his jokes can be dry sometimes i’m sorry jaehyun 😭 so he backs it up with laughter and has to catch his breath sometimes bc he finds it really funny

you’re not laughing at the joke, rather at his laugh so you might have to tell him that some way or another bc he’ll just keep making bad jokes i’m sorry y’all

he can’t handle the suuuuuper cheesy physically affectionate films or series (with shitty plot) but i feel like if the story’s interesting enough he’ll pay attention. likes bittersweet films too, i feel, gets him thinking

doesn’t mind cliched plots (fake dating / idealist girl meets realist boy / idk any others lol) but would propose something at the end that he thinks will make the movie/series more interesting

jaehyun likes to share his theories with you

unironically wants to learn the la la land tap dance scene with you. he ALWAYS hums city of stars too, no matter what. idk why but it sticks to him, in bed, in breakfast, when he’s doing something random

he did it once on the radio and he received a text from you in break that told him he was humming along to the song

with that said, jaehyun wants to try out the stuff in the rain quite a bit. making out, dancing, lying down, running, he likes that fascination that society has with doing things in the rain

doesn’t like it too much that he’ll get soaked, but as long as you’re with him and willing to do it, he’s all for it

jaehyun would def want kids in the future. wants to dote on them and buy them stuff and whatnot. wants to see them running around the house with laughter while you both struggle to contain the bursts of excitement they have

doesn’t care for the dynamic much. if he’s the one to stay at home to take care of them while you work, he can work with it. if it’s the other way round, he’s okay too

he just worries that if he’s still involved with the entertainment industry, you might have to take a back seat since he’ll be the one earning the money, and he doesn’t want babysitters either.

heart is so so full when he comes back home and you’re just playing with the kids, or singing them to sleep. any sight of you with him is enough to make him melt into a puddle

HAS to hold them even if they’re asleep. wants to always have them close to him while he nudges you to shower or get the food ready.

like jaehyun, he would wanna meet someone in a vinyl shop or bookstore. he knows it’s cliched but the thought of meeting someone when you’re buying something is exciting. anything unexpected for him, he welcomes it

the next few are just random, miscellaneous headcanons: he likes to see you in his clothes, preferably with nothing underneath. just his shirt lol. cheeky man

jaehyun likes it when you shower together (again, nothing sexual, just likes the domesticity)

likes it when you fall asleep on him

will never stop gushing about you to his parents, first time you met them they’re like “he’s told us so much about you!” and he really did

feels comfortable in your presence, no makeup, messy hair, no need for a perfect bod. he’s just jaehyun. jung yuno if you will

adores it when you call him “lover” i mean boyfriend is good, significant other is good, but lover is just chef’s kiss

it is a bit cheesy if you think about it, so it’s not often that you say it. when you do say it in songs when you’re singing it to him, he can’t stop smiling

plays lover, you should’ve come over when he’s on tour bc it’s the closest thing he can get to a replica of how he feels for you

and when jaehyun falls asleep to the song, all he can remember is your honey voice singing it to him. he’ll just have to hold onto it before he can see you again

<3

[bumackerman]

warnings: sfw, minimal cursing, fluff ☁️!

shimura x reader

soft tenko; headcanons.

author’s note: after the new leaks, i just wanna to give our boy some love and disown the name sh*garaki. ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´-`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

࿐ when he’s sick/not feeling well;

we’ve all heard the stereotype that men are big babies when they’re sick, right? well, for this boy right here, it is very much true.

when he has the sniffles, coughs even a little bit more than usual, or gets a small headache, he will whine and whine about how he’s “suffering”.

he will flop onto his bed and sigh as loud as he possibly can until you give him the love and care he deserves. (°-° )

it can be annoying when you’re trying to work, but it’s cute how much he loves when you stroke his hair while he’s laying on your lap.

when he’s sick, his nose, cheeks, and ears become an adorable rosy-pink color.

he loves drinking warm apple juice with a lemon when his throat hurts, or when his stomach is upset.

regular apple juice is his favorite drink, though.

he hates eating soup because he hates spoons. don’t ask why, i have no idea.

࿐ hygiene;

tenko usually takes showers, but he much prefers bubble baths.

he doesn’t like using mint toothpaste because it makes juice taste gross, so he uses the regular kind.

despite what many think, tenko actually does wash his face, but he doesn’t always use lotion because it burns his skin. his quirk really is a hassle.

he loves having his hair washed and brushed. he will literally fall asleep if you do it for him. although, he hates having his hair wet afterward.

hates having his nails trimmed because he’s very impatient, but you hate it when he scratches himself even more, so he has to deal with it.

࿐ fluff;

has become embarrassingly soft for you. he hates that he loves you so much.

really loves sleeping on top of you with his head on your chest.

your heartbeat is like a lullaby to him. it reassures him that you’re alive, and that you’re not going anywhere.

he loves it when you hold his hands. (finger gloves: on) he’ll literally stare at your fingers intertwined with his for hours, completely mesmerized. still gets nervous sometimes, though.

kisses make his heart go boom. (〃ω〃)

no, seriously. it’s so loud, lol.

the second your lips touch his, he’s no longer breathing. his eyes close, and immediately, he’s melting into your touch.

least favorite part of kissing you is when it ends. >:|

always makes a little whiny sound when you pull away.

if he’s super tired, he’ll fall asleep with his head on the counter. wake him up with kisses. i promise, it’ll have him up in no time!

please play his favorite game with him. he loves it, and won’t get too angry at other players when you’re there to witness his rage-quitting.

he likes being able to help you pick out clothes to wear. (even though he sucks at it, but you love him so it doesn’t matter.)

࿐ random;

lucky charms is his favorite cereal.

eats cereal with a fork, because… spoons. >:^/

the only time he uses a spoon is when it’s one of those disposable plastic ones. he likes the “clack” sound it makes when it hits his teeth.

he has adhd, and often uses a rubiks cube to occupy his mind when he’s bored. he has become quite good at solving them.

sometimes he asks you to mix it up and watch how fast he can solve it.

he often watches the american cartoon “teen titans go” unironically. his favorite character is beast boy because his power is cool. (you’d think it’d be raven, but whatever.)

he’s a pouter. when he’s upset about something minor, arms are crossed, brows furrowed, eye contact: non-existent, and out pops the bottom lip.

11/10 sweet tooth. he really likes suckers because he can eat them while playing video games.

uses a shit ton of random emoji’s, but his favorite one is the gorilla. will literally go: “I’m hungry 🦍” like- okay???

he hates the word “cinnamon” because he can’t say it correctly. him: “synonym” “cimmonyn” “cinnonin” >:,/

he eats like a three year old. i’m talking chicken nuggets, those mini nachos from lunchables, mini corn dogs, etc. (i do the same thing, though. lol.)

he is not that flexible. can barely touch his toes. he tries, though.

3/11/21

[cinnamonest]

All modern genshin boys use 4chan. Except Zhongli ofc

Zhongli uses Facebook and gets caps lock stuck on and can't figure out how to turn it off 😔

They do all use 4chan BUT ALSO you know what I have thoughts on this and I'm subjecting you all to them:

Childe and Venti use Instagram a lot. Venti attention whores on Instagram. All the time. Like posts a selfie with irrelevant comments vaguely implying he had a bad day or something is wrong, but when people ask what he's just like "no no it's nothing" and only finally tells once he has a sufficient amount of attention.

Childe overshares. He's the dude that feels the need to broadcast every moment of his life on insta. Like my dude no one cares. Also abuses Snapchat. So many black screen rants. Updates his story 5 times a day. And it's all whining about having no gf and thus his life is sad.

Xingqiu uses Twitter and he gets into Twitter discourse on a daily basis. Like. Literally the instant there's drama of any kind he's all over it even if it's in a community he has never interacted with before. Enjoys Twitter fights for the sake of it.

Chongyun also uses Twitter but it's the opposite, he's so nice. All he ever does is leave nice comments on people's art and selfies. Also 100% simps for some Twitter egirls. Whites knights for them too. Angel.

Bennett honestly sticks to the mindless entertainment that is TikTok, and has friends on discord. He keeps away from most socials. The last 3 times he joined a social media site someone hacked his accounts.

Diluc uses Reddit no I do not accept criticism. He trauma dumps unintentionally onto random threads. Like "oh yeah my dad liked that game before he died brutally" then continues on as if he didn't just dump that information all over the internet. Shares way too much personal information in general, if anyone he knows irl ever finds his account he's screwed bc you could easily pin it to him by how much information he doesn't hesitate to give out. Is subbed to the standard subs and many many gonewild subs. It cures his loneli™

Albedo also uses Reddit and is literally. The most obnoxious. Bastard. He's one of the pretentious redditors. Have you ever used reddit and left a single short comment with an opinion or idea, or maybe a statement that was not 100% right, and someone responds with a 5 point essay on why you're not only wrong but a complete ignorant buffoon? And it's not even on something important it's like "what brand of this is best" or some bullshit? That's him. Unironically pulls "to be fair you have to have a high IQ to understand Rick and Morty"

Xiao still uses Tumblr. He uses it a lot less now bc he was originally on it for porn. He makes the posts that are just "." But then vents in the tags but like, he makes those posts on an everyday basis when he's sad at 3 am then deletes them the next morning. He's also on 4chan a lot.

Scara uses 4chan the most. Active /pol/ user. Actively takes joy in being as much of an asshole as possible. Takes joy in the suffering of others bc it makes him feel better about his own life.

Xiao is the one posting the greentext stories with the > format, telling of his daily failings. Scara is the guy that leaves super negative comments and has absolutely nothing constructive to say. They have absolutely interacted on multiple occasions. Xiao laments about how he tried and failed to speak more than 2 words to this cute cashier that works at the place he goes to every day (complete with depressed wojak for thread image) and of course Scara is there to be like "ahaha you fucking pussy" when he's literally just as much of an incel shut-in as he is

There's also some dude on the same incel-y threads as them. Lamenting that he's not like the rest of you losers, no he's pretty and tall, but something about his personality drives the foids away?? Why must he suffer so. He shouldn't even be here he says, he's not the type of loser that uses 4chan, but he overshares and regrets it whenever he goes on anything else, blah blah. Scara and Xiao both kinda bully the poor bastard bc how dare he be tall. Anyway, yes Kaeya is a 4chan user

[wincestisasincest]

I cannot put how much I appreciate waves on the shores into words like oh my god I think this is some of the best writing I’ve ever read in my entire life, I spend hours poring over the words and rereading each word until it’s burnt into my mind and I can recall random paragraphs to memory. The characterisation of Penny? The descriptive writing? Your absolute GENIUS incorporation of hextech and just the vibes your fic gives are absolutely impeccable. You are very much an inspiration to many including myself and honest to god your writing deserves so much more attention.

On a somewhat unrelated tangent do you ever think about what Penny would be like in the timeline where the arcane series takes place and what changes she’d make to the story?

Okay so first, sorry that this took me forever to answer this week was insane but akerhnkejthekt I got this at work and after I read it I had to go to the bathroom because I almost cried????????

Like yeah holy shit I don't know how else to say it other than I like unironically had tears in my eyes like the emotional loser that I am. Thank you thank you thank you this made my very shitty week a lot better

As for your question, yes, I have! here are a bunch of ways that it could go down, though I’m not bold enough to think that I could rewrite the perfection of Arcane. But here are my thoughts regardless!

Had she never met Viktor and Jayce, I could see her being way more involved in Zaun. In the first act, she’d come over with another gang or something that would help Silco take over Zaun, not really there because she wants to be, but there nonetheless. At one point, Singed or Silco recognizes this vulnerability and ends up conspiring with her to make the members of her gang the first test subjects of Shimmer (instead of Deckard), simultaneously giving them Shimmer monsters and getting some freedom for herself. However, when the battle against Vander goes down and she has to see what Shimmer properly does to people, it really fucks her up, and she realizes that, if this is to be the “base violence necessary for change,” then she doesn’t want anything to do with change, and goes back to Bilgewater.  

Between Act 1 and 2, she grows up and is, in general, a menace.

In Act 2 she comes back, for whatever reason, and gets involved with the plot. This one’s a little fuzzy, but the main reason why I chose to do it in the time skip instead of the main series was because I couldn’t think of a way where she could reasonably fall in love with Viktor in this time without sacrificing the plot and character growth. Acts 2 and 3 move pretty fast, and I wanted to take my time here.

It would depend on how close she is to the boys here, but I could mainly see her spending a lot of time with Heimerdinger, because both Heimerdinger and her would basically have to watch the same mistakes repeat themselves all over again. Her past experience with making weapons she’d see in Jayce, prioritizing survival above all else she’d see in Viktor, and, in general, Bilgewater is reflected in the power struggle. Powerful people are desperate to keep it and desperate people want a taste of power.

Towards the end, ideally, she and Heimerdinger (with some help from Ekko) would get over themselves and realize that they can break the cycle. Or maybe things would get worse >:)

As for what this would look like…

“You’re… you’re using Shimmer,” you hissed.

“And so what if I am?” Viktor said coldly, focused on measuring the correct amount of that slick purple substance to the milligram.

“So what?! I dunno if you’ve heard, but that shit is dangerous,” you scoffed, pulling his chair back from the desk and forcing yourself into the gap, blocking him off from his work with your body, “the hell are you trying to do?”

“This doesn’t concern you.”

“I didn’t ask if it concerned me.”

“I’m not going to explain it to you,” he growled, spying the drug as he looked around either side of your hips.

“Gods, look at you!” you shouted, “You know, I could fucking report you right now and you’d lose everything, but you’re not even worried about that! How much have you had?”

He tapped his foot impatiently, and it sounded like the slam of metal doors.

“Well?” you asked again, not letting up.

“You may tattle if you wish – I won’t stop you. But if you plan to take it away yourself,” he found your eyes, burning through your bravado with his piss-yellow irises, “you should expect resistance.”

“Put your dick away, I’m not gonna stop you either if you wanna kill yourself,” you spat, “but you should know what you’re getting into.”

“I know what-“

“No, you don’t.”

“Perhaps if you were terminally ill, you could not find it within yourself to stay around, but I do not succumb as easily,” he stood up, leering down at you. You didn’t budge.

“Of course you don’t, you’re too busy succumbing to something else!”

“Then do something about it or get out of my way.”  

You got the full width of his shoulders now that he was no longer huddled in on himself, clinging to his crutch. In fact, it looked like nothing had been wrong with his leg in the first place – he was standing perfectly straight, no pain, not even a whisper of a limp. He’d rewritten his own past and left everyone else to put the pieces together.

“You’re a dead man walking,” you brushed past him and slipped into the hallway.

It took everything inside of you to not turn around and smash that vial into the floor. You would’ve enjoyed watching him scramble to the ground as the flower-shaped splatter mark slipped between his fingers. But you saw what happened to Heimerdinger.

Nothing would change anyway. It was the same old story, except this time, you were just a blank face in the audience.