#unhinged fidds

[all-things-fluff-and-stuff]

I love unhinged Fidds, I need more of him being the crazy inventor--plox

I give you more unhinged fidds

[oobbbear]

I see a pattern in my fav characters

Secondary character important but often overshadowed by their main cast friends, definitely not the writer’s favorite child with half a backstory flashed out enough to make them interesting but vague enough i can take my own spin on it without feeling out of place

Bonus point if they constantly switch between sweet and unhinged

[thelastspeecher]

hmm thus far in Pollution Powers AU, I haven't come up with a Plot Line or Story Arc in which teenage Angie displays Problematique Behavior. mostly she's a victim of other peoples' bad behavior.

currently accepting suggestions for Angie behaving like the teen she is and causing problems that she needs to learn from and grow as a person.

[arsonsketch]

My promised GF Au comic typography rambling 📝✍️

Mabel's Font

Her font is purposely very close to comic sans. The font is also bold with low lettering space to portray her childlike manner of speaking. She's also the main character in my AU so she gets a simple readable style.

Dipper's Font

His is similar to Mabel's by being bold and with less spacing. But with a serif style of font. Not only is it similar to Mabel's but it's very similar to Fiddlefords. This may seem like a more random connection, why not have his mirror Ford’s font. Because Dipper could've ended up like Fiddleford if he did take Ford's apprenticeship and I find that parallel super compelling.

Fiddleford's Font

Now I already explained the Dipper connection but the reason I gave him a typewriter style is because Fidds loves computers and tech. His is in contrast to Ford's cursive, Ford being more traditionalist with his journals and handwritten notes. Fidd’s because of his inventions and laptop.

Ford's Font

Now Ford's is a mirror to Stan's, a way to connect the two even through their differences. Both are a very handwritten style, Ford's cursive and Stans is normal script. Ford's is directly based on the font in the official journal 3. Plus we all know this dork speaks in cursive!

Stan's Font

Stans is very simple, his obviously mirror Ford's but is also connected to Mabel's. Both have a lighthearted feel and are very easily ready, portraying both are great communicators.

Bill's Font/effect

Bills is round and far more odd in comparison to all the others. He also has a rainbow/glitch effect on his text, it also affects Ford's text when possessed! His font is really just to show how supernatural and inhuman he is and to visualize his voice glitch from the show.

(Also bonus fact only Bill and the Time Tape have any color in the comic, it's to make it visually obvious when magic/science stuff is happening lol)(did I overthink this little comic? haha)

Thank you for coming to my unhinged typography TedTalk!

[cricket-of-the-hill]

So what's the deal with Fiddleford McGucket? Why's he like that?

Fiddleford as a character is so FUN because he's so complicated and tragic and honestly a little pathetic. On one hand you have this absolutely brilliant scientist with the potential to have been the in universe Steve Jobs who figured out that the universe is a hologram and built an honest to betsy transdimensional portal (with Ford's help, yes, but let's be honest: as mathematically brilliant as Ford was, I think his intelligence laid more in the theoretical side of things, really doubt he could have actually built the portal himself).

On the other hand, we have this man who up and leves his FAMILY to chase after a college friend who calls him one day saying "hey, I'm out in Oregon building a portal to another dimension. Little help?" and he doesn't even think twice before being like "bet" and getting his ass to Oregon. And even if you take in the context clues that things weren't going well with his marriage before he left (as pieced together by the brilliant @divorcedfiddleford in this post), he still had his son and McGucket Computermajigs and he just sets all that aside for this guy, which... 😶

I am gonna write this whole post on the assumption that Fiddleford was in love with Ford, but look, even if that's the case it doesn't make any of his actions less unhinged. Break here, because the post gets kinda long 😶‍🌫️

So here's the thing: in the fandom, it's fun to think that Fidds knew about Bill and they had some sort of taunting rivalry/love triangle thing going on and that's really fun to mess with, but FIDDLEFORD HAD NO IDEA ABOUT BILL. Ford never told him! So even if Fidds leaves California thinking he's gonna have his hot girl summer/queer arthouse romcom where he reconnects with the love of his youth and they spend the summer working in this secluded house in the woods where they can finally live out their romance, what he actually gets is a fucking psychological horror thriller where the guy he loves and is kinda trapped with is either slowly going insane or straight up getting possessed.

Now, all that is 😵‍💫 enough, but it gets worse because instead of doing the normal person thing and getting the hell out of Dodge, Fiddleford stays. He continues to help Ford to build the portal despite how weird the other man is getting, he continues to go cryptid hunting even after the nightmare goblin almost eats him, even if Ford clearly doesn't appreciate the work he does (research assistant? Not even partner? Come on), and never reciprocates the kind of gestures Fidds has towards him (like the infamous double Christmas gift bonanza).

Here's where the duality of Fiddleford Hadron McGucket kicks in: the thing is that he is incredibly brave in some ways and obviously really smart but also kind of a coward and an idiot when it comes to his relationships with others. He'll hit Thee Krampus upside the head with his banjo one day to save his friend and run away to Oregon instead of discussing divorce with this wife the next. He will leave everything he knows to pursue this one guy, but he will never ever ever confess to feeling anything other than friendship towards him. He'll put up with Stanford's creepy as all hell behavior but will never confront him about it even as Ford loses more and more of himself into his project (so no little intervention not even to help this man he's giving so much up for). Like, what was he expecting to get out of all this? If he was never planning to confess to Ford or leave his wife, what was he going to do once the portal was completed? Just keep on bouncing between wherever Ford went next and his family? Did he really think his wife and son wouldn't mind him leaving them behind without so much as a thought?

Operating under the assumption that Fiddleford is a closeted queer guy from rural Deep Down South Hillbilly County Tennessee (said with love, I'm also from the south, but we all know what homophobia looks like here) during the '80s (height of the aids pandemic which would have made everything worse) one can maybe understand why Fiddleford is like that. Why he is so so so afraid and why he ultimately chooses to erase his memories rather than just go back to his family.

So picture this: you are in love with your best friend but you can't tell him 'cause best case scenario he leaves you out to dry and worst case scenario maybe someone finds your boots down by the river and lets your parents know (and we know Ford is sweet and fruity himself and with a thing for outcasts and would never. Fiddleford probably knows that himself, but let me tell you that when you grow up with that fear it goes deep. Because you've most likely seen people who are kind get absolutely bent out of shape when confronted with the mere idea of someone like you existing in their near vicinity). Eventually, you get married and have a son because that is what you were supposed to do all along and even though you love your son and maybe even love your wife everything feels wrong. They expect you to be something you are not, you can never let your guard down, never be yourself, not even in your own home. So then that call comes and it's like a golden thicket: you can leave, give it a rest for a little while, go see your friend, stretch out those inventing muscles.

As much as the fandom clowns him for it, I honestly don't even think he went out there with the intention of cheating (emotionally or otherwise). BUT I do think he was hoping something would happen. It's just that it all depended on Ford taking that first step because Fidds sure as hell wouldn't. And then Ford didn't because he was too busy doing the sin cos tan with his trigonometry homework, but if he had, we could have had a brokenback mountain situation on our hands, lads. Then Fiddleford could have just gone along with it, and done all sorts of mind parkour to convince himself that that's somehow less bad than "outright" cheating on his wife.

So he gets to the cabin, right? And maybe things are good for a little while, like when they were in college. Fiddleford lets loose a little, Ford is happy with the company, they're friends! And I get the sense that they're the kind of friends that mesh really well, like their energies really match. As much as the fandom paints Fiddleford like a sweet cinnamon roll, that man is also a freak. He's out here building psychotic post divorce revenge pterodactyl robots and drinking abducted cow milk just to see what it's like. He's a bit unhinged! He and Ford are the two people in the world that can be like "I think the universe is a hologram." "Cool! Let's prove it mathematically, bro" and "I want to build a portal to another dimension. Just cause." "Catching a ride to your place with my toolbox as we speak, buddy." (My own personal head cannon is that Fiddleford didn't really become such a shaky jelly until the nightmare goblin got him. Like, he was never as adventurous as Ford, but I think before that particular traumatizing event he was all right for it).

Anyways, things are good for a bit, but the real world is still out there. Fiddleford has to make trips home every now and then, and every time he comes back it seems like something is different. A little off. At first it's nothing big, just a smile a little sharper than usual, a coldness in a look, Ford calling him "Specs" where before he was always a variation of his name. Then it's pointed comments that Fidds chalks up to a lack of sleep (is Ford even sleeping at all? Because he could have sworn for the past three nights he he has appeared in the same place Fidds left him when he went to sleep). Then it's a flash of yellow eyes, a maniacal laugh that Ford never used to make before, spells where he seemingly forgets how to use his body (bumps into things, tries to drink soda with his eyes?). As time goes on it starts to become more and more obvious that something is seriously wrong with this friend. And things back home are just getting worse and worse, Emma May isn't happy about Fiddleford skipping town so often, Tate wont stop asking for him, and look, was Fiddleford even making money while he was with Ford? He gettin' paid? Is Emma May back home trying to bring home the bacon while virtually single parenting? (How was Ford even supporting himself while studying anomalies? I can't imagine there's a lot of grants for that.)

But Fiddleford can't leave his friend and he can't really own up to how much messier things are at home because of this whole thing. So he keeps coming back to Gravity Falls, where he also can't really face up to Ford and either demand a clear answer as to what is going on or try to get him some help (an exorcist, maybe). Because if he does say something and Ford decides that he doesn't want Fiddleford around asking questions he's gonna have to go back home where after the Christmas thing he's honestly not sure he's really wanted anymore, not really sure he deserves it if he still was. So he keeps on doing his thing, telling himself "this is fine 🙂," while he sits in a room on fire with a bill-possessed Ford hanging from the ceiling like a spider and an disapproving Emma May looking in through a window.

I think the portal incident was what finally opened his eyes to the reality of his situation, in an ironic way. He destroyed his relationship with his wife and left his son for nothing. Left his own dreams and aspirations aside just to find out that when push comes to shove his opinion and well-being matter so little to this man he was ready to break the laws of physics for. He can't stay with Ford, and he sure as hell can't go back home, because that would mean having to face that he's done burned down all his bridges. So where do you go from there? Let me tell you, if I had the chance to forget the lowest, most selfish, stupid thing I did for a person who didn't even notice it, I'd do it in a second.

[neonross]

I love the concept of your Dreamcaptor au so much!! But the fact that the orb that Bills trapped is meat to represent the axolotl caught me a bit off guard because I thought that it was a dream catcher!!

Anyway, I love that Fidds and Stan work together at the shack, that dipper seems to always be done with things and that Ford is unhinged here!

it is both! it is a dream catcher with the likeness of the axolotle,

also thnks havin a lot of fun in this au ahah

[thechillsquid]

Hillbilly/Blind Eyes Au

More ramblings cause I’m trying to figure out how to write the actual fic out for the dumb au

Mostly with the kids visiting over the summer and how McGucket is also their sorta gruncle Fidds cause him and Stan have a queerplatonic thing going on by that point and Fiddleford actually somewhat knows what to do with kids though he’s still absolutely unhinged but to a slight degree towards the right

Like McGucket has the memory gun around, he just basically doesn’t use it really cause 1. Bill can and has dragged memories back up after he’s tried to erase them in the past 2. He has somewhat of a support thing with Stan

So he’s still got his senses it’s just the fact Stan has lowkey helped corrupt this man’s morals and with Bill constantly asking ‘aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you just want to go apeshit?’ eventually the answer became ‘you know what? Maybe I do want to apeshit’

And then there’s Bill, who at that point is dating Fiddleford and has been hit with several realizations about himself over the past 30 years, has kinda sorta lost interest in the destroying the earth thing because he just wants to see what chaos Stan and McGucket get up to, and maybe actually enjoys having somewhat of a family again

And all three of these idiots are trying to still fix this portal without anyone finding out, Bill’s lowkey taken over the shapeshifter’s body/kinda ejected its mind/kinda killed it and is just waltzing about however he pleases (sometimes as a ‘total normal human guy,’ a goat, or whatever other forms he thinks would be fun/convenient) until the portal opens and he’s able to actually physically manifest/they find where the hell Ford went

Ford is going to be thrown for a fucking whirlwind but also I just kinda realized that Bill is also a sorta the kids gruncle cause he’s dating Fidds and him and Stan con people together (though those twos relationship is more platonic than anything)

So like these kids have Stan, Bill, and Fidds; only two of these people know what children need to survive and one of them isn’t even human, Fidds and Bill talk in codes or weird languages sometimes and the kids are just left wondering wtf is going on

Also now that I’m thinking of it more, Bill taking over the shapeshifter’s body offers so much chaos, espically whenever he forgets about playing his part and the kids are like ‘did… did you just blink sideways…?’ and everyone is just like ‘no’ and it’s so clear they’re lying but also it’s so stupid

Anywho yeah, so you got Stan and his boyfriend and this is his boyfriend’s boyfriend who helps him steal cars sometimes

HA, I need to draw more of these idiots

[localcanadiancreature62]

I think imma get burnt at the stake for this but i'll throw it out there anyway. I don't think that Fiddlebill will EVER work romantically or positively besides in au scenarios. These unhinged mfs WOULDN'T kiss in canon. Like ever. Trianglegucket will only be a thing in canon but if they were eternally at each other's throats. They HAAATEEEEE each other,Fidds would try to create some anti cosmic triangle death ray or triangle killer machine while actively watching the damn thing make out with HIS best friend meanwhile Bill gives the hillbilly nightmares constantly while also giving out death threats if he ever tries to spend time with Ford. I don't support Fiddlebill unless they fuckin hate each other and act like hissing cats around the other. Sue me.

[mintyeve322]

for anyone concerned by my writing style on my posts that my fic(s) might have no capital letters, random capital letters, or some other issue, i just wanted to clarify i type posts and messages very different from stories.

in stories I'll use proper punctuation, capitalization, spelling, and grammar. (at least to the best of my ability) i just couldn't give two shits about that stuff while I'm rambling here.

just a warning or heads up, haha.

anyway, so that we're on topic, fiddlestan time below the cut.

I think their relationship is pretty quick to take off but slow to be official. i feel like Stan is so starved for affection that she's scared to acknowledge her feelings, especially since affection is sometimes just "platonic girl stuff". don't worry stan, overly affectionate heterosexual female friends drive me insane too.

on Fidd's part, i think she is hesitant to make things official because at first she's not sure if her feelings are genuine or if she's accidentally using Stan, but once she realized thats not it, she's still hesitant to say anything because she doesn't wanna make Stan uncomfortable if she's not right about her feelings.

Fidds is a people pleaser and unhinged as hell before she uses the memory gun, let alone afterwards, so she for sure has made or aquired some crazy shit as gifts for Stan. She for sure has made her at least one robot that malfunctioned and had to be decommissioned, she bought Stan a fish, I'll do some fish research to figure out what kind later but it has some sort of significance, to occupy the empty tank in the shack since Frilliam is lost at sea. She's probably helped Stan make exhibits and made a cryptid up that reminds her of Stan. I feel like she'd get gifts for Stan constantly, and Stan wouldn't know how to act about it because her instinct is to be skeptical of kindness but Fidds was her sister's friend and she hasn't asked Stan for anything in return and she doesn't know why.

Related to Stan's belief that affection is transactional, if Fidds ever gets nervous about the portal or if Stan keeps something from her, like why she got arrested last night or where she found a part and Fidds says she owes Fidds an explanation, Stan will shut down and probably cry in her room for an hour.

Stan is VERY worried that Fidds is gonna reveal one day that she's only there for some sort of payment or gain on her end, and if she even implies that Stan owes her something, Stan will spiral until Fidds is able to figure out the problem and apologize, even if she agrees that she does owe Fiddleford something for all she's done.

Related to this, there's probably a period of time where Fidds is working really hard, to the bone, for Stan. She hates not feeling useful and may have hit a road block she's trying to push through or something, and when Stan tells her to take a break, she interprets it as a sarcastic "just let me do it, idiot" comment and not the "please take a break im worried about you" way stan intended it, due to the fact Ford, with her one track mind, has been harsh to her in that way before.

Fidds is apologetic and swears she's almost got it she just needs more time and please don't maker her leave she promises she can do it, and Stan has to basically grab her, look her in the eyes, and tell her she just needs to take a break and come back later. Fidds says she just wants to be useful for Stan, and Stan tells her she doesn't care if she's useful, she just needs her there and burning herself out working on the project is not worth it. they have a long conversation about how even if fidds never worked on the project again Stan would still want her around and its sad and fluffy.

also a thing where stan gets frustrated and implies Fidds isnt useful and has to comfort her and insist that isn't what she meant because it genuinely wasn't what she meant agh i love miscommunication hurt/comfort

idk im rambling and i feel like we're all so busy unpacking Stan's trauma we forget that Fidds has very real trauma from her work with Ford that has plenty of hurt/comfort potential as well.

[queerplatonicshipshowdown]

Quarterfinals, Match 3

Stanford Pines and Fiddleford McGucket (Fiddauthor) from Gravity Falls vs. Moomintroll and Snufkin (Snufmin) from Moominvalley!

Propaganda for Fiddauthor:

very very close guys who do mad science together and also lived together for a little while

1. College roomies. 2. Ford called Fiddleford later on, asked him to cone to Gravity Falls, and they temporarily moved in together (on account of Fidds having a wife and child back in Palo Alto or something).

They Were Roommates. And DnD nerds, unhinged scientists (one of them made a deal with a demon and put a metal plate in their skull to prevent possession from said demon, the other builds homicidal robots and made a memory-erasing cult.), Best Friends, etc. Ford also wrote things like how they talked about their futures while star gazing, "my poor. beleaguered assistant".... stuff like that. TL;DR: roommates, played DnD one-on-one, and Ford talked about Fiddleford a LOT in his journal.

Propaganda for Snufmin:

BASICALLY. The author of the original books was a queer woman and Moomintroll kinda was her self insert. At some point she had a relationship with a man who was always traveling so they had to break up. So she made Snufkin's character, who was inspired by this man, and Snufkin and Moomintroll's relationship was inspired by both of them. But at this point of time you couldn't make queer rep in a book, so it was never canon, only ambiguous. However, the creators of the most recent cartoon, Moominvalley, are clearly aware of this backstory and made them even more ambiguous. Kind of "ambiguous best friends"... And ambiguous best friends is like, the perfect trope for queerplatonic headcanons.

[fannishstuff]

Have more Biddleford AU!

This is in specific reference to my AU where Fiddleford tried meditation instead of inventing the memory gun, and consequently met and began to worship Bill.

So, I opened that piece of fanart with Fiddleford reaching out a hand to Ford, and telling him that he was welcome.

"Why," you might ask, "is he welcoming in Ford? Doesn't Ford already worship Bill?

Hehehehehe, that's where the fact that Bill is extremely manipulative comes in. More under the cut.

So, in the ficlet that I included with that picture, you'll note that Bill set himself up to be the golden magical savior that would protect Fiddleford from evil spirits and bad luck. Well, Fiddleford falls for it and he falls for it hard. Bill can be very charming and convincing when he wants to be. (...sort of. He does a lot of, like, giving people upsetting gifts and terrifying compliments and stuff. You kind of have to be a little unhinged already to fall for Bill-style charm, basically. Fortunately our pteratron-building man is.)

Fiddleford now belongs to Bill. Great. You'll remember that Ford is not actually able to build the portal himself - he needed help from Fiddleford because his math wasn't strong enough. Okay, so Bill was using Ford to build the Portal, and Ford was using Fiddleford... but now Bill can use Fiddleford directly, so he has two geniuses under his thumb. Even better: Bill had to manipulate Ford by keeping him isolated and paranoid. Fiddleford, on the other hand, we know to be charismatic and sociable. We know that he tends to seek out people who are suffering from problems similar to his and that he can get them to open up. He's also very convincing, and can convince them he has a solution to their troubles. Ivan, whose recruitment we see in Journal 3 and who is the eventual leader of the Society of the Blind Eye, is a great example of this.

So, now Bill has two patsies: a genius nerd who's convinced everyone is out to get him, and a big-hearted but very odd duck guy who wants nothing more than to help people. The second one, the charmer, has a habit of proselytizing.

And, oh, how Bill loves to be worshiped.

So, he still needs and wants Ford, but why would he settle for Ford? Bill starts occupying more and more of Fiddleford's time with the cult, and while he's at it, he himself start to breadcrumb - and eventually ghosts - Ford. It sends Ford into a panic. Ford is getting increasingly stressed and overworked, he's barely making progress, his only friend is spending almost no time with him and acting weird even when he's around, and his muse has seemingly abandoned him. Oh, and by the way: Bill hasn't told Ford that he's in contact with Fidds, and has instructed Fidds to keep the secret.

One day, Bill returns to Ford's dreams.

He's snide. He's cold. He asks for progress, and then makes like he's going to leave. Ford leaps at him, begs him to stay, asks what happened, and what he did wrong.

What are you talking about, Sixer? Aren't you doing fine without me? I thought you were some kind of genius. Well, I'm - I could never do as well alone as with your guidance, Bill! You're my muse! Oh, yeah. That. What is it? What's wrong?

Bill goes on to point out that, well, yeah, Ford was fine, but Bill was really starting to feel lead on. Bill's not just some broad you can expect to keep around forever and never bother pop the question. Like, Bill's a god, not just a """MUSE,""" and it was just kinda getting old, right? Like, you're clearly fine without me, so whatever. What? What's wrong? No, seriously, it's fine if you don't want to commit, you have commitment issues since you abandoned your brother and all. What, you want another chance? Seriously? I'm not really convinced. Oh? Okay, fine. Fine. We'll talk it out. But you are on thin ice, Sixer.

So, Ford is given some pretty strict instructions for the next couple of days, and then he's sent to meet up with Bill's other worshipers.

Ford didn't know about the other worshipers, and he's really embarrassed about this. (Never mind that they didn't exist.) He's angry, he's frustrated, but most of all he's desperate for approval.

So he goes, and he meets...

Fiddleford.

Bill's been talking to Fiddleford. Bill explained everything to Fiddleford. He explained that Ford is coming, and he's to be the co-ruler of the cult or Fiddleford's right-hand man, but that he needs to behave himself. Ford hasn't always been totally committed, Bill explained, but he's being given another chance.

But it's okay! Fiddleford believes in Ford! Fiddleford one hundred percent is vouching for him, Ford's such a swell guy, always goes the whole way in everything. Fiddleford would never doubt Ford, and together, they're going to prove to Bill that Ford's serious.

Ford... isn't convinced. Ford is having doubts. But Ford has to make sure to never, ever, ever voice those doubts, because that would be proving that he has doubts, and that he's just like Bill was afraid he would be, even though Fiddleford trusts him unconditionally like the good friend he is.

Anyway in this AU the world ends

[thora-otg-xp]

I offer you more unhinged Fidds

[zephrunsimperium]

Thinking about Biddleford and how well that would go with Fidds' already unhinged tendencies.

Like, yeah, we robbed of Stan/Bill interactions, but Biddleford, that's where it's at. Bill just decides that Ford is too depressed and sleep deprived and weirdly obsessed with him - flattering to be sure, but kinda creepy - so he finds a way to make a deal with Fiddleford and hijinks ensue. Who knew Fidds looked so good in yellow?

Duuuuuude, what if Fiddleford was the one who went through the portal???? Portal Fidds?? Is that a thing yet? Agh, the possibilities are endless!

If anybody else has any ideas for this at all, tell me because I want to knoooooooow.

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

Okay everything about a Wingfeather Saga/Phineas and Ferb crossover would be hilarious. And by Wingfeather Saga I mean Wingfeather Falls because it’s even funnier.

Idk even where to start. The Wingfeather kiddos walk through a portal into Phineas and Ferb’s backyard and end up helping with whatever they’re building. Kalmar is in his element with the chaos. Janner is trying desperately to keep track of Perry so he can sketch whatever this new creature is. Leeli’s just chilling, probably hanging out with the Fireside girls and staring at Candace in concern.

Across town Artham and Fiddleford end up at Doofenshmirtz’s evil inc. where Artham discovers that Fidds and Doof know each other because Fiddleford accidentally hacked into an evil villain meeting skype call once and they just... let him keep doing it because I mean he does build giant robots that terrorize a town, has a tragic backstory and an evil laugh so I mean he’s basically one of them, he’s causing chaos it counts. Artham’s just pleased to know that Fiddleford talked to people back in the day.

Perry shows up and Artham and Fidds just fly up into the rafters to watch whatever’s going on. Artham mentions that Janner would love to see a platypus and then when the fight starts he’s like “ah. so this is how Ollister Pembrick did it”

99.9% sure Kalmar has convinced Phineas and Ferb to help him build Shacktron 2.0 which he has always wanted to do ever since Dipper showed him the picture but he never had a house he could do it with. Phineas and Ferb are more than happy to turn their house into a giant robot to help this kid fulfill his dreams. Janner’s questioning Candace over why she keeps trying to bust her brothers and when it basically just comes down to it being a compulsion for her he’s like “wow okay I mean if it was safety I’d get it but, jeeze, Kalmar thinks I’m against fun but you my friend are on another level.” Leeli is composing the episode’s musical number and then promptly directing/performing in it.

Artham flies down in the middle of Perry and Doof’s daily smackdown to give hand-to-hand combat tips. They stop and listen to him and Perry starts taking notes. Artham tells Perry to attack him to demonstrate something and Perry doesn’t land a hit once. No one’s sure why Artham’s good at defending himself from animals except Fiddleford who’s cackling up in the rafters with the knowledge that Artham lived in his world’s most deadly forests for 7ish years.

Cue giant robot walking through town with a gang of kids in it including one overexcited young king. Artham and Fiddleford get to see it right before Doof’s invention inevitably destroys/cancels it out somehow. Kal is very disappointed that he didn’t get to show his uncles this wacky invention but is thrilled when they find out they saw it anyway.

rest is under the cut because this got long

PART TWO is somehow so much more unhinged. It’s literally just Artham deciding to bring his niece and nephews along with him and Fiddleford to visit Doofenshmirtz and absolute chaos descending. Kalmar won’t stop running around pushing buttons and inadvertently setting off lasers and traps which never hit him or any of the kids. Janner is wondering how concerned he should be about safety. Doof is running around trying to stop Kalmar and probably the only one getting hit by lasers and traps. Vanessa is there and so Leeli goes over to chat with her and sees her listening to music and explains her whistleharp, “I once held back an army with this!” “an army?” “yeah! during the siege of Ban Rona. also I can summon dogs with it.” “.... what.” “I can summon dogs!” “what kind of dogs?” “all dogs! do you wanna see?” “...yes”

Leeli and Vanessa go out on the balcony and Leeli starts alternating between playing her whistleharp and dogspeak and soon every dog in the tri-state area is there. This sets off Phineas and Ferb’s adventure of the day when Isabella comes and tells them her dog is missing. At first they try and build a dog summoning device but Leeli keeps also summoning the dogs so I’m just imagining a Bohemian Rhapsody song sequence going “galileo GALILEO galileo GALILEO FIGARO MAGNIFICOOOOOOOOOO” “oh let me gooooooo NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!” that part where the dogs are turning back and forth in a street obviously torn between directions. Phineas and Ferb give up because it’s obviously not working and go to plan B which is follow the sounds the dogs are hearing and see where it leads.

Meanwhile Perry has shown up because there are lasers going off everywhere and all the dogs have been pied-pipered there. He just lands on the balcony next to the girls and stares wide eyed at the chaos. Leeli looks at him like, “ooooh look, I summoned a platypus too!” “oh that’s just Perry, he’s my dad’s nemesis.” “hi Perry! you should go find my brother Janner he’ll love that.”

I think Artham and Fiddleford are just sitting off to the side observing the chaos. Artham is cheerfully petting dogs. Fiddleford is fixing all the inators as they break just for funsies. At least sixteen things are on fire. Janner has discovered Perry’s here and is happily sketching him again, with a hat this time and the clarification “platypus (secret agent)”. Doofenshmirtz is still in the background trying and failing to catch Kalmar who is having the time of his life.

There is a knock on the door and it is the boys and Isabella. Leeli answered and when they ask about Isabella’s dog she happily summons it with dogspeak. This is also when they go “oh there you are Perry” and he’s just chilling in a sea of dogs for no reason.

PART THREE is just Perry’s secret agency freaking out about how Leeli can straight up summon dogs and talking about how great that would be for them if they could get her to work for them so Perry has to find her. Luckily Leeli and her brothers are visiting again so he gets her and brings her down to his secret hideout. What follows is Major Monogram trying to convince this 10-11 year old to join a secret agency to train dogs and Leeli just like “you had me at ‘train dogs’” but then being the granddaughter of a pirate kicks in and she’s like “what’s in it for me?” and while Monogram and Carl try (and fail) to figure out what preteen girls like, Leeli mentally puts together a list of demands.

“Okay, first, I want a hat like Perry’s.” “Done.” “Second I want to go with Perry on one of his missions so I can ask Dr. Doofenshmirtz for one of his inventions and take it home for Kalmar.” “... W H Y.” “because he didn’t get to ask last time! he was too excited and hyped up on sugar!” “.... alright, fine.” *Leeli squees*

What follows is just a montage of Leeli training dogs while wearing a little secret agent hat. Then Perry has to chaperone her on one of his missions (he tries to open the door for her but Leeli’s like “I got it” and bangs it down with her crutch “they don’t call me lizardkicker and batwhacker for nothing!” Perry has no idea what that means but he’s a little afraid of her now).

Leeli walks in somehow avoiding any traps but Perry doesn’t even though he directly follows her, and she just trots up to Doof like, “Hi Dr. Doofenshmirtz Perry brought me here so I could ask if I could get one of your inventions for Kalmar.” and Doof’s just staring at her like “why are you using a little girl to confuse me Perry the platypus” Leeli looks back and forth between them a couple times and then is like, “oh right you have to do your fighting thing, okay, go ahead I’ll wait.” and sits politely off to the side waiting for them to have their daily confrontation. And they’re both just like “.....”

They stare at her for long enough that she’s just like, “well okay Perry if you won’t stop him I guess I will” and just. whacks Doofenshmirtz with her crutch. he starts yelling at her like “oh that’s no fair, what am I supposed to do, beat up a little girl?!”

And Leeli, who has recently read The Hobbit, continues whacking him while yelling, “I’m not a little girl! I am the lizardkicker of Glipwood, batwhacker of Ban Rona! I am the Song Maiden of the Shining Isle of Anniera and granddaughter of Podo Helmer! And now I’m a secret agent!”

She then manages to whack his inator in just the right spot so that it collapses into a pile of rubble and then looks up at him all wide-eyed innocence like, “okay can I have something for Kalmar now? :)” and he’s like “.... okay sure, why not.”

Perry’s just projecting this back to HQ with his watch and they’re like “:O”

It ends with Leeli loading up whatever contraption she’s acquired for her brother onto a wagon pulled by dogs while she declines the agency’s offer of a full time job with a winning smile “sorry, I’m already the Song Maiden, defender of the Shining Isle, and a little kid. My schedule’s full.” and she heads cheerfully through a portal with her brothers, dogs and wagon in tow.

[tessellated-sunl1ght]

📝 n 👶 for the emoji ask game please :p

Thank you for the ask my good Anon!

📝 How many words do you have posted?

I’ve got things both here and on AO3 but for simplicity’s sake I’ll stick with AO3 since that’s where the bulk of my writing is so uhh 113,485 words. Woah.

👶Fankids: How you do you feel about them? Would your OTP have kids?

Full honesty I don’t really engage with fankids. They just aren’t my thing, but I think they’re cute in the sense that people are so attached to characters that they give them bigger families!

To answer the second question, my current OTPs are Kelly Severide and Matt Casey from Chicago Fire (a bit random I know) and Fiddauthor. The first would probably want at least one kid but decide against it due to their jobs. Fidds would consider a kid only to remember how unhinged Ford can be and deciding against having him do something like take a child into caves, giant’s domains, and possibly radioactive alien ruins. He would also genuinely worry about a baby getting eaten by gnomes.

I’m throwing in stuff about my Fallen London OCs Thomas and Atlas because I can— they could not imagine having kids, especially since one almost sets his desk (if not himself) on fire every other day and the other’s parents would try to find some way to yoink the kid’s soul at some point.

[rosetyler42]

Ericka: Oh, HECK yes. Ericka is loyal to a fault and one of the most stubborn of the pack: She does not change her views or loyalties EASILY. Even after her Great-Grandfather tried to kill her, she clearly still cares for him. She may not seem like it, but she's the most dangerous member of the Drac Pack. Mess with her friends and family members, she will hunt you down to the ends of the EARTH unless someone talks her down. Drac might be the loudest and most obviously protective, but Drac is more likely to show mercy. Ericka will NOT.

Alice: Also yes! Like Drac, Bendy tends to be the most obviously protective one since he's the most powerful and damaged. However, Alice is far smarter, more sensible, more determined, and far more ruthless. Bendy you can outrun. Alice will NEVER give up chasing you down. And unlike Drac and Ericka? There's less chance of Bendy stopping her when this happens - He'll cheer her on.

Fiddleford: Mostly! He's a bit senile thanks to the memory gun, and always was a bit unhinged despite seeming like an unassuming southern nerd/ex-farm boy. But push comes to shove, he's a loyal guy who's love language includes building people death bots. He did move states for his college friend and stayed despite constant trauma until the portal incident.

Ford: Perhaps the most dangerous and loyal between him and Fidds. True, he can hold a grudge and has a hero complex, but he clearly missed his brother for decades and "I'm sorry Fiddleford" has been on loop in his head for 30 years. He's also kept up his oath to destroy Bill for 30 years too. He's one of the most dangerous Pines family members with an interdimensional criminal record, knowledge of gun use, willingness to use violence, mad science, etc.

Bill: No, definitely not.

Mabel: Sorta! Not quite as loyal as Dipper as she can kinda be self-focused sometimes, but push comes to shove she IS generally there for her brother

Shego: Less loyal dog and more an attack cat. She always comes back to Drakken and would do just about anything for him, but acts aloof and likes to tease him as a sign of affection.

Coraline: In a way she kinda becomes this over the course of the film. She's still snarky and a Lydia/Wednesday, but she will do just about anything for her family and friends, even if it risks herself.

Audrey: Being the youngest and most innocent of the ink fam, Audrey is normally the protected one. However, she is very cleve, kindhearted, and rather loyal to those who help her despite get willingness to hear the other side out. Even Joey's death upset her greatly and she clearly holds affection for him despite her saying she didn't believe he was her father. And Bendy, she was ultimatelt willing to accept and save despite finding out he was also the Ink Demon. While the keepers describe her as "Feisty" and "dangerous," Audrey prefers to hide or banish enemies rather than kill them out right. However, she WILL do so to protect those she sees as her friends. Tends to be calmer than Alice or Ericka, but still emotional with alot of personality. Kind of like Coraline in a way.

This request was sent to us and we made a poll in response to it. Send any Blorbo-related question you want to our inbox and we’ll make a poll on which people can vote with their own Blorbos in minds