#unfortunately im a lesbian so i could never be into them

[bluem1lls]

Hi! Could you do a fluff Se-mi one shot? Unfortunately I don’t really have any prompt to give you but I think a out of squid game AU would be pretty cool! Like it could be when they first met, or first date sm like that!

I would really appreciate it if you write it, but if not that’s absolutely fine! I hope you have an amazing day! <3

headcanons gf! se-mi

✦ synopsis: never let your annoying best friends to stop you from finding your girlfriend!

tw: a bit of nsfw

authors note: hiii im sorry for the no update, work is killing me but here's this! i hope u like it💓 tysm for the requests!

-> se-mi, who you've met because of a close friends hangout.

"would it be okay if i bring se-mi?" min su asked as i passed the joint to thanos.

"is she cute?" nam gyu asked.

"she's a lesbian" min-su answered with a chuckle.

"oh?" i said as i pay more attention to the conversation.

"she's probably not your type tho, you're so picky" min su said rolling his eyes as i scoffed.

-> se-mi, who was totally your type.

when you two met, you bonded immediately, laughing and smoking together as the other three were sitting on the couch staring.

"what about us man? when it's our turn?" nam-gyu said, watching as she said something that made you blush.

thanos and min su shook their head as they kept smoking.

"i bet i can drink more than you" she said as you laughed. "wanna bet?" she said with a smirk. "if i win, i get your number"

no need. two shots in and you were giving her your number no matter what.

-> se-mi, who texted you while you were passed out on nam gyu's bed as he was sprawled on the floor with thanos's arm around him.

you tried to find your phone, lowering the brightness as you grabbed it while your head throbbed.

pretty girl w the piercings: hi

pretty girl w the piercings: maybe its too soon but would you like to have dinner tonight? we can do something chill :)

-> se-mi, who has you waking up thanos and nam gyu with screams of happiness.

"who died?!" nam-gyu opened his eyes wide.

"min-su?! my boy?" thanos asks, alarmed

"se-mi texted me! she wants to hang out tonight! it's a date!" i said getting up the bed to quickly shower.

"this can't happen anymore bro. she needs to stop getting drunk and sleeping in your room" thanos says to nam gyu as he throws himself into his bed and covers himself with the blankets.

nam gyu blinks. two people already slept in his bed, none of those being him. he sighs as he goes into thanos's room to sleep some more.

"for fucks sakes" he mumbles.

-> se-mi, who's soon arriving to your house.

"i need you two idiots out of here tonight" you said, putting your earrings on and brushing your hair as they stared.

thanos winked as he grabbed his phone to call someone. "we're on our way" i could hear min-su over the phone screaming to thanos, alarmed, because he was on a family reunion. "we're your family too boy! be there in 20" he said, hanging up.

well. they're min-su's problem now.

-> se-mi, who stood there in all back, as she played with her lip piercing, smirking and looking up and down as you open the door.

"hi!"

"hey pretty" she said, as you moved aside, letting her in.

"we're just leaving" she got in as the guys got out, giving a quick head nod to her.

"get laid" thanos shouted from outside.

"she needs it" nam-gyu followed him.

of course you stood there all blushy as she chuckled.

you'll kill them later.

-> se-mi, who brought everything you told her you liked! a horror movie, your favorite snacks, diet coke and ice cream as dessert.

"it's this is okay? maybe i should've bought more things. now i'm nervous maybe it's time for a smoke break-" she rambles too much. you don't give her time to think as you cup her face and kiss her. her eyes widen in surprise but she quickly melts into it.

-> se-mi, who's quickly stopping the makeout sesh to turn on some 'cigarettes after sex' on the speaker.

-> se-mi, who starts hanging out more with the boys and talks a lot about you.

-like a lot. nam-gyu is tired. he has to see you at home and now hear about you??

-> se-mi, who loves chill dates with you, like staying at home and watching some movie.

-> se-mi, who has to get used to the guys because half of the dates probably include them bc they feel left out:(

its like you two are mothers going out with three kids. three very dumb kids (26 year old adults). but you love them and se-mi learns to love them too .. kind of. give her time.

-> se-mi, who not even two months in she's decoring your room with your favorite flowers and a sign that says 'would you let me be your girlfriend?' you kiss her until your lips go numb.

-> gf!se-mi who doesn't know how to keep her hands out of you. her hands on your hips, hugging you from behind, circles on your waist, underneath your shirt.

-> gf!se-mi who loves playing video games. she's SO happy when she finds out you don't actually like playing but you like watching. she buys all your favorite games and plays them all for you

"BABY, TURN RIGHT. I'VE WATCHED THIS 20 TIMES, GO RIGHT" you shout at her.

"do you wANNA PLAY?" she replies, getting exasperated trying to follow your indications.

you pout as you shook your head.

she loves this. wouldn't trade it for the world.

-> gf!se-mi who loves taking you shopping to the mall. clearly for the lingerie stores. probably ends up fingering you in there.

she buys anything you like, baby is poor but she tries SO hard for her girl:(

you're pointing at a plushie?? it's yours.

clothes u like? she knows your size, it's yours.

-> gf!se-mi who discovered your music tastes are so different that she can't believe she's listening to taylor swift and olivia rodrigo songs to learn them for you. she's incredibly down bad.

-> gf!se-mi who gets you a necklace with her initial

"for: baby

it's not because i own you, but because i really know you :)"

-> gf!se-mi who gets SO nervous when you wanna introduce her to ur parents. and she's so happy when they approved her.

-> gf!se-mi that is SOO smart, everytime she helps u study you're moaning.

-> gf!se-mi that's not studying for now, just working. but you are.

and when she sees you burned out? oh she's the first one to be there helping.

"baby, you've been studying for hours, let's take a break"

"i can't sem. my parents-"

"okay okay, let's go through the flashcards again and we'll take a nap, how does that sound?"

-> gf!se-mi that is there when you get a 87 and not a 100. and you're crying about what your parents are going to say while she caress your hair and kisses you.

"we'll start again in a bit if you want to, but for now let it out princess" she kisses your temple.

-> gf!se-mi who everyone stares when she takes you to campus. but she has no idea, she's just looking at you.

-> gf!se-mi who's a fuckgirl in recovery tho..

like the idea of cheating does not cross her mind. but sometimes she smiles. too much.

and maybe some girl is winking at her because god you have a HOT girlfriend.

and she just turns to you, smirking.

"did u see that babe? i haven't lost my charm ;)" she says as you scoff in disbelief. you two end up making out until her brain is too fuzzy to remember what she told you.

"just wanted her to see that you're mine" you say as you clean up any of your messed up lipstick.

her boxers are wet. sticky and wet.

and if someone you know is frequently flirting with her? next time they'll see her, she has three big bruised spots on her neck, and she's SO happy.

one time she had a little admirer at her job who went to see her like three times a week.

baby: she's here!!!!!!!!!!!

me: who???

me: wait.. stalker??

baby: mhm.

and when you leave her on seen, she frowns. she scans everything this girl is taking as she feels her phone vibrating. she checks her messages and oh! it's you!

two photos. one of you in her favorite red lingerie and the second one, you moving aside those pretty panties to send your bare pussy.

she's drooling. and her brain is pretty much broken.

"i-m-m sorry" she stutters to the girl in front of her, who frowns. "min-su cover for me! i'll stay tomorrow" se-mi screams at him and smiles at the girl who looks like her heart got crushed.

-> gf!se-mi who also gets jealous easily. match made in heaven!

give her two seconds before she's eyeing up and down with a cold stare to anyone who's talking to you. her hands grip your waist as they start to roam over your body, she leaves a wet neck kiss as she gets close to your ear.

"bathroom. right now. or you wanna show them you're only my whore? because i'll fuck you right here and i'll make them watch" she whispers on your ear while you're talking, making you shiver.

yeah forget the chat, it wasn't that interesting anyways.

-> gf!se-mi that spends every sundays with you

lazy days, laying in bed hugging and kissing eachother, picking two books out of your book shelf to read for a while. if it's raining?? movie, take out food and a nap.

she just wants to be with you, does not care about anything else.

-> gf!se-mi that if you're into romantic stuff, she's doing her best for her girl. sometimes she forgets tbh but there it is min-su to remind her!

se-mi: 😭 she's mad at me

min-su: it's flower day. according to tik tok, girl's wanna receive a yellow bouquet

se-mi: you're my second favorite person.

and she's at your door 30 minutes after you got mad with a yellow bouquet, smiling behind it.

she really tries.

-> gf!se-mi who knows how to draw so well, she actually draws a bouquet of ur favorite flowers to give u every month.

-> gf!se-mi who finds tik toks about kitties and sends them to you.

you open tik tok once again as you see a new video sent by your girlfriend. is a black cat licking a white cat with a pink bow

semisucks: das us:)

-> gf!se-mi who loves when you do skincare on her but she already has a pretty spotless face. although she uses hand soup to wash her face

-> gf!se-mi who never stopped flirting with you, she has to keep her girl

" you look so good tonight, you're lucky i have a wife or ill be taking you to bed real fast" she says winking as you roll your eyes.

-> gf!se-mi that after two years of dating, wants to move with you.

"you didnt ask for our consent" thanos says, shooking his head no as you both tell them the news.

"you steal our best friend and now you want her to move? that's not happening" nam gyu agrees with him.

you stare at the three of them who are fighting about you like little kids.

"well, i guess its time to bring the second choice" i say to se-mi as she places her head on the table as she mumbles 'fuck'

"she moves here" i say, staring at those two as they stare at eachother.

"fine. but no moaning" thanos says as nam gyu nods.

-> gf!se-mi who hates her birthday, except this year, when you throw her a mini surprise party with nam-gyu, thanos and min-su.

-> gf!se-mi who can't cook... please don't make her.

-> gf!se-mi who protects you and puts you on top of anything.

you're her girl after all.

nsfw hc!

-> gf!se-mi who has an obsession with your tits, when youre riding her? shes having a blast seeing your tits bounce

-> gf!se-mi who fucks u in public places. 100%

-> gf!se-mi who has a broken brain when she sees you with a new lingerie set.

-> gf!se-mi who has a black strap. and god she knows how to use it

-> gf!se-mi who didn't do it right if you're not crying and trembling by the end of the night.

-> gf!se-mi who loves quickies. everytime you two are about to go out you're suddenly 15 minutes late because you just looked so cute in that oufit, that she had to eat you out.

-> gf!se-mi who quiets her whimpers everytime you're eating her out while she's playing with the guys.

"are you okay? focus dip shit" nam-gyu says to her.

she's on her chair, completely flustered and out of breath, biting her lips while you're swirling around her clit.

"i'm- i'm fine" she sttuters as she quickly mutters the mic, her hand grabs your hair. "right there princess"

-> gf!se-mi who loves to hear you while she fucks you. if you're not screaming she's not happy.

-> gf!se-mi that gets extremely frustrated when you tease her in public.

it's okay, she'll make you her slut when you're back home<3

[gayestwizardlord]

Ngl the one good thing that EAH did was show how dedicated the guys are to the girls they love. Literally they would change their bad behaviors, dress nice, and do so many more for the girls they like because they care. THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE NEED TO DO. I LOVE THE SHOW FOR THIS

[wisteriaphobia]

Alright time to come out, not out of the closet, but I am Nat (Or Lilnatx) . I wanted to come here and share my story or fairy tales if you don't like me. I was a part of “clique 1”

Not to use my age like a pokemon card but I am 15, and I don't care what you have to say to me personally but I'm sick and tired of my name being dragged through the mud and being used as a scapegoat. But I have lots of pent up anger that I didn't have the privilege of saying.

April 3rd was the day I was banned from nevermore, with no proof. Like at all, I'm still bamboozled and scratching my head like a monkey on what was actually on me and my friends. We were accused of “shit talking” and I have yet to see the shit that we have allegedly talked about.

And honestly? Even if I did shit talk people, why… in a conversation about a predator … does that matter? I'm exhausted with how Red always fights with teenagers (like me) and other friends of mine. It's so despicable that the minions might just leave Gru for her instead. I was in gym class when I got banned and honestly? I would rather get banned 10 more times than do another plank for 2 minutes while seeing my P.E teacher's bald head.

My crimes that I did publicly (in the screenshot that red posted) is me being.. not fucking involved? Right before I got banned I was staying away from people that I previously did not enjoy and in fact I tried my best to not interact with them directly. At one point I had many members blocked on my discord because I was tired of being the villain.

Yet here I am in the year of our lord July of 2024 and people are still referring to my friends as “nats clique” like I said earlier im 15, quince. I have little power over my friends' actions , especially if they're an adult. I can barely get Laci to join me on Minecraft let alone make her collaborate on some high tech scheme, what is this shit? Oceans 11?

I find it petty that red refers to my friends as a “clique” we're a friend group, and the definition of a clique requires a group that's hard to get into. The server (until now) was open, you could pull up to Jinx's profile like a McDonald's drive through and get an invite. Our friend group was constantly expanding and if you personally felt like you were scared to talk to us, I'm sorry that you never experienced the poop closet jokes.

Red being paranoid about what a bunch of teenagers were maybe saying behind her back to deflect about crimson is quite irresponsible I do say so myself. So please Red! With a cherry on top! Show me what I did to you. What sin have I committed on your ego that should banish me to hell. Because I sure as hell don't know what I've done, (and you can quote this) you probably don't know what I've done either, because you made it all up.

Unfortunately I have no screenshots to give, because my phone storage is ass. But you can hit up any of the members of my clique for proof regarding my innocence. I promise I'm not an evil bitch who wants to ban you (not evil not evil no I'm the least evil person I know)

I'm sorry if this response upsets you, but if a 15 year old girl who ships who chicks bothers you so much. Imagine how I feel, imagine now so many people who once looked up to you feel. Everyone in your post looked up to you once as a role model, and have had panic attacks and stress because (allegedly) you harmed them with your cruel words. You can think it's your fault or not that's not my problem.. but for someone who wants evidence and proof 24/7 you sure like to not give out proof of anyone else.

P.S if you were anyone who gave red evidence of my wrong doings, can I see them? Cause I don't know what I have done.

P.P.S I'm not a man, and I write fanfiction of lesbian vampires.

P.P.P.S this is so not sigma that I gotta make this response

[transfemme-shelterdog]

hey i heard you were accepting personal stories from people who have experienced transandrophobia. i have some complicated experiences around my sexuality that intersect with TA while not exactly being TA so i hope it's okay to share those too. im horrible at being concise so my apologies for the essay 🥲

---

i have always known I was multisexual, but around 11-12, i learned that my attraction to everyone was actually queer (i thought it was the default and people just tended to pair up in m/f relationships to have kids. i was very lucky to avoid direct queerphobia as a child and form that viewpoint.) after learning this, i obviously became very invested in learning about my identity and other queer people and the struggles we face, and i immersed myself in the culture. i found the other queer kids in middle school, and spent a lot of time online learning about different identities.

it was wonderful to find people like me! but unfortunately, from the moment i stepped into these queer spaces as (someone who used to be a) woman, i was blasted with "all men are disgusting predators, wlw relationships are morally superior and lesbians are the most oppressed because they deny men access to their body, KAM lol, etc..." like, not even kidding, this shit was EVERYWHERE being blasted at top volume from the rooftops. I internalized it and repeated it because it felt cathartic- at the time i WAS a woman who liked women, so it included me, and felt great- like getting vengeance.

but i was still multisexual. i still liked men. i never really openly talked about my attraction to men- instead i did the usual "haha being bi/pan? attracted to every woman and two men amirite?" thing. but i discovered yaoi/mlm smut and got very into it in a non-cis way, the typical transmasc experience... but i convinced myself my attraction to men was purely sexual, and suppressed my romantic attraction to them. after all, in real life, "men are icky oppressive pigs! im pansexual, but i only feel romantic attraction to women! men are unlovable and only good for porn!"

i ended up dating a woman in high school. everyone assumed we were lesbians. we didn't often correct them. we were both pan, and talked about our attraction to men like cis men talk about women: objectifying them, commenting on their bodies, talking about how they were only good as fucktoys, and how they should learn their place and bottom for women (i was also really into femdom, tangentially related.)

then, i met actual trans people irl and online, and we became friends. they talked about how they felt about their gender and their dysphoria and i listened closely and.... oh no, that's relatable. the cracks in my egg started growing. but the last thing i could ever be was a man- "im a butch who likes queer femmes! not a nasty man who likes gender conforming feminine women!"

my journey out of the closet was severely stunted by the extremely prevalent hatred of men in queer spaces. i tiptoed out at a snails pace, terrified of my truth.

for a few years i said, "okay i can be a cistrans she/they nonbinary woman, and still be a butch that other wlw will feel safe around!"

another year goes by and.... "actually im just agender. i can reject the idea of manhood AND womanhood, im just a person. but but but! im deeefinitely a nonman i promise! you guys don't hate that i want to start testosterone right?" (they did.)

another year went by. "im nonbinary and transmasc but NOT a man, mayyybe a demiboy! i want HRT and top surgery but I would NEEEEVER want a penis! penises are disgusting weapons used to rape and hurt women, and i love women!"

it took me 5 fucking years of my transition to accept my binary manhood (alongside my nonbinary gender) because of this shit. and an additional few years to accept that I actually did want bottom surgery.

alongside that revelation and unpacking of my hatred of men came the realization that im not pansexual. i actually do have a slight sexual and romantic preference towards men, and i just like femmes of every gender. i started labeling myself as a bisexual faggot instead, and a label truly felt like home for the first time.

i also had to unpack the idea that loving women as a man isn't inherently oppressive. seeing representation of m/f love that isn't straight- or straight m/f that defies patriarchal heteronormativity- feels extremely affirming to the way i experience my queer attraction to women. (transmasc heterosexuals wya? i love you guys so much, and I feel so much solidarity with you ❤️)

throughout this entire painful journey towards my true self, so, so many queer women treated me like absolute shit. i had a cis lesbian friend who came onto me, and when i told her i wasn't a woman and wasn't interested, she responded, "what a waste. you make such a hot butch lesbian right now. why would you ruin yourself with T?"

multisexual women would shame me for not jumping into self-flagellation over my attraction to men. when i told them why, and the harm it caused me and how it made me mislabel myself for years, i was told that "it's better that you're bisexual instead of pansexual because you can have a preference for women! that's what we do!" when i told them i actually relabeled because i prefer men, and i am a trans man, i was told i'm not welcome in queer spaces because im "making our lesbian allies feel unsafe."

but then, even after being ostracized and forced out of queer spaces because im an "invader..." nonqueers would also harass and mock me. i get threats of corrective rape from misogynistic men to "fix me," and "turn me back into a normal pretty girl." when i express attraction towards men, they tell me that "i look like a man, and any guy that would fuck me is secretly a fag." when i express attraction towards women, im a "nasty predatory dyke trying to steal them away from men." surprise surprise, they don't actually see me as a woman or a man, but some freakish third thing that corrupts everyone around me.

i don't know how to end this. ever since coming to terms with my manhood, my desire to be masculine, and my love of men, i have been treated worse and worse by nearly everyone. i don't feel like i belong anywhere, both because of my transmasculinity and my bisexuality.

i am so much happier with myself of course, and i feel truly satisfied with my identity now.... but it's been really hard. idk what people are talking about with masculinity always being rewarded. my experiences have been the exact fucking opposite.

.

[heavenbarnes]

hi!! i’ve never done this before but id like to request a sydney adamu x femreader :) like maybe with the reader being a new sous chef at the bear or old culinary school crush or smth along those lines haha or literally any other ideas u might have!! there’s an unfortunate lack of sydney fics in general so i’ll rly take anything lol. also LOVED the one you wrote recently (im losing it lately) i have been re-reading it over and over again omfg

Already better for knowing you

Sydney Adamu x female reader

Warnings/Contains: swearing, syd is so fucking awkward, carmy is a meddling shithead, mature themes (involving fruit), beginnings of a praise kink, no actual smut (can you believe it?!)

Thank you so much for requesting this, I thoroughly enjoy writing for Syd! Also sorry that I always write her the same way (awkward-lesbian-munch) but I genuinely think that’s how she’d be. Also cannot believe you’ve read my work multiple times! I didn’t know if you wanted this to be smut so I only hinted, but lemme know if you want more. Anyways, hope you like this!

Sydney and Carmy had to have the difficult talk.

With the success of The Bear, how much it had taken off with their hard work, it was time to bite the bullet.

They needed more hands in the kitchen.

Experienced hands, they needed someone that Syd could rely on. She could give an order and that person would follow.

She needed a sous chef.

They put up the ad and, sure enough, they had a number of chefs in for the interview. They were keen, mostly young, hungry for the chance to break out into their first kitchen.

Both Syd and Carm knew you had to start somewhere but they both really needed the experience, the trust, the reliability.

Their last day of interviews rolled through and Sydney couldn’t help the feeling of helplessness creeping in her chest. Last day of interviews and still no closer to a new sous.

Were they being too picky?

As she shuffled her papers of interview questions and old CVs, she watched Carmy scratch the back of his neck as he read over the last applicant’s details.

“Well, she sounds good on paper.”

Syd couldn’t help the snort she let out, elbows on the table and head resting in her hands. “They’ve all sounded good on paper.”

Carmy shrugged his shoulders at that, but nevertheless sat down beside his chef de cuisine still reading over the paper.

“Says she’s worked in a couple restaurants, out of state- she’s only recently moved to Chicago.”

Syd listened to him speak, trying to find herself a little bit more excited at the prospects.

“Graduated from the CIA, experienced with-“

That perked her up a bit, knowing it was a long shot with the number of campus locations and students that came and went from the institute.

But there was still a small chance.

“What’s her name?” She turned to read the paper over Carmy’s shoulder as the sound of the door opening filled the space.

It all happened so quickly.

The door opened.

Carmy said your name.

You appeared before her.

Still as beautiful as the last time she saw you.

As if she could forget that day, for a few reasons. One, it was graduation, obviously she was going to remember it. Two, well, you were there.

If anyone cared enough to ask, she could tell them what you wore. The way your smile shone under the stage lights. The way you smelt as you hugged her and wished her the best.

Sometimes, when things got quiet, she’d play that moment over in her head.

Sydney thought she might’ve been dreaming when she saw you striding across the auditorium right towards her. You smiled, bright smile, hand coming up to give her a quick wave.

She’d even looked over her shoulder, trying to find out who you were even waving at. By the time she looked back towards you, you were smiling harder and giggling a little.

“Yes, that was for you.” You’d teased, making a heat grow on Syd’s cheeks.

“Yeah- yeah, I knew that.”

Your smile turned into a smirk as you nodded knowingly. “Course you did.”

Then you both stood there quietly, Sydney couldn’t really focus when you were dressed like this. Granted, it was just your chefs whites, but she couldn’t deny you wore the hell out of them.

You’d been wearing them nearly every day, and it still took her breath away every time she saw you. She didn’t even notice you were speaking until you shifted to get into her eye line.

“Sorry- what was that?”

“I said I’ll miss seeing you in the kitchen.”

Syd nodded, earnestly, face softening as she spoke. “I don’t think I’ll enjoy cooking as much without you there.”

She’d surprised herself with her confidence, actually being able to say it. She was pleased to see your smile growing. There was also a glint in your eye that she couldn’t place.

Her chest tightened up as you stepped forward, hands reaching out to pull her into a hug. She melted into you, taking a deep breath to remind herself of your sweet scent.

“Soon as you make it big,” You spoke knowingly, like it was inevitable. “I’ll come find you.”

And here you were now, standing before her in her own restaurant.

You’d found her.

Her mouth fell open as she tried to find the words she’d wanted to say to you all this time. How are you? I’ve missed you? I’ve thought about you every day since the last time I saw you?

Instead, she just stayed silent. She closed her mouth, blinking up at you with those beautiful eyes of hers.

“Syd,” Her name sounded at home in your mouth. “How long has it been?”

“Three years, eight m-months.” She’d only realised how quickly she’d answered when she saw your eyebrows raise.

Carmy shifted beside her, too. It snapped her back into reality, the reality where you were standing right before her and she was acting like a fucking dickhead.

“Well, here’s hoping I’m right on time.” You didn’t look put off, you assumed that same smirk you’d given her all those three years, eight months ago.

You were, you were always right on time. Always in the right place. Always just right.

Syd managed to pull herself together enough to stand up (for whatever reason) and gesture to the seat before her and Carmy. You graciously accepted, sitting down and placing your hands on the table.

Her eyes were immediately drawn to them, the way your fingers intertwined together, the lines coming off your palms. Sydney remembered back to the institute, the distractions she’d face watching you handle a knife or split a citrus fruit.

She couldn’t think of the latter right now.

The way your fingers would pierce the skin, pulling it apart with juices spraying up your wrists. You’d scoop out the flesh with your bare hands, not caring for the way it’d leave you sticky and dripping.

You’d look up at her, finding her watching you and not minding the way she stared. The fateful day you threw the rest of the grapefruit into the scraps, bringing two fingers to your lips to lick the excess off before you washed your hands.

Sydney was completely and utterly-

“Obsessed,” Your voice brought her back into the room, only for the second or third time in the short span of time. “Obsessed with what you’ve done with this place.”

She saw Carmy smile out the corner of her eye, his cheeks blushed a little at your words. You had that effect on most people. Sydney knew better than anyone what you could do to a person with just a few words.

“Well, we’re quite impressed with your CV,” He responded, laying it out on the table. “Aren’t we, Syd?”

By the time she looked away from him, she found you were already staring at her expectantly. She nodded, mumbling an affirmative sound to the both of them.

“Really impressed, seems like you’ve done a great job since graduation.”

You lit up, that’s the only way Sydney could describe it. It was as if your heart was swelling in your chest as your cheeks rose.

“Thank you, that means a lot,” She had assumed you were referring to the both of them until you finished. “Coming from you, Syd.”

If this was how she was at the interview, lord help her in the kitchen. There was no doubt you were getting the job, that was an absolute given. But Sydney would have to think hard about how it’d work practically.

Her sous chef. Following her every move. Responding to her every word. Reliable, obedient, willing, responsive.

Syd had seen you in action at the institute, but never following her own orders. She didn’t know if she’d be able to cope with hearing your “yes, chef” and knowing it was directed at her.

Even the way you were looking at her now, so expectant, hanging on to everything she was saying. She knew that look in your eye, on your face, you’d given yourself away just a little earlier.

“Coming from you, Syd.”

Praise. You were looking for her praise.

The thought sent Sydney into overdrive, forcing her to stand up abruptly and knock her knees into the table as she did.

Both you and Carmy looked up at her in confusion, your mouth opening to ask if everything was alright.

Syd cut you off, babbling as she walked away from the table. “I just remembered- remembered that the stove is on and- that’s the number one cause of kitchen fires- and I will be right back!”

She kept talking as she eventually made her way into the kitchen, hiding in the space right next to the oven (that hadn’t been on all morning).

Sydney knew she was fucked. Royally, totally, well and truly fucked. The crush she’d had on you at the institute had been debilitating and, whilst she’d missed you, these three years and eight months had meant she was finally able to focus.

Now here you were, in her kitchen and looking like everything she’d ever wanted.

Syd had no idea how long she stayed hiding in the kitchen but sooner or later Carmy came through with a stupid smile on his face, leaning against the bench.

“Think you handled that really well.”

“Shut the fuck up, I’m begging you.”

He laughed, laying the brown folder he’d been carrying down beside him as he crossed his arms. She looked up at him, wincing a little as she already knew what was coming.

“You gave her the job, didn’t you?”

Carmy laughed louder, looking down at the heap of Sydney on the floor. She could kick his shins right now.

“Of course I did,” He responded, pushing up from the bench as he turned to leave. “Have fun training your new sous chef.”

Fucked. Completely fucked.

[scooburst]

So I met this Christian right, one really confused cuz they didn’t know about lgbtq that much and their church never talked about it cuz gay is a sin or somethin

And uh this is a lot so cut lol

They asked me about it cuz I mentioned being bi

We had a MEANINGFUL conversation, I explained the common ones like Bi, Gay, Lesbian, Pan, all that and some obscure like Neptunic and all

We talked about Aromanticism, asexuals, Aroace, how it works, the spectrum, aroallo

They were asking questions and all like it was meaningful

Then they told me they might be bi, but never went deep into it because their scared of discrimination

I don’t like that. Why do people have to be scared to be who they are? You can have a faith and be bi, right? Someone explain why? I don’t really know a lot about religion unfortunately and the most they could explain was that being gay was a sin, and that their family was homophobic because of religion.

so

yeah.

idk if im being stupid or offensive and im not trying to be, genuinely curious about what’s stopping them from being bi and Christian.

[katamaridamacyonline]

tell me all of your ace attorney headcanons

to make it easier, maybe for maya fey specifically! I feel like you probably have a lot of thoughts on her

HI sorry for ignoring this ask for 12 days im gonna do it now (very very long post like holy shit how did i even type this much)

okay so for maya i have. a lot of hcs. basic stuff first she it trans (she/her), lesbian, poly, fat, and mixed black+japanese. actually there's a bit more to the fat headcanon cause i think she gains weight as she gets older, sort of as a "weight gain to represent healing" type of thing. i think around aa1 timeframe she's closer to her canon design but as she reaches more into adulthood she gains weight over time and is happier that way (part of this is because gaining weight is usually a good thing for transfems on estrogen)

okay anyways here's the part where i rant about trans maya stuff. actually i should probably talk about trans mia first cause theyre both trans in my hc and her transition actually plays an important part in maya's experience. basically mia was the first trans kurain spirit medium, before her it wasnt known that a trans woman could be a medium, but that all changed after mia realized she was a girl. for a while (months? years? not sure) mia thought that she would never be able to channel and just accepted the fact that she could be a woman but she wouldnt be able to channel, but eventually eh found that her realization of being a girl actually awakened significant spiritual power within her.

so anyways, onto maya, similar to mia she realized she was a girl when she was young, some time after misty left but while mia was still around. when mia came out, misty was very accepting in letting her transition, but with them under morgan's care they were both worried things wouldnt go as well. fortunately, mia would not let anything stop her sister from transitioning. i'm not completely sure if i think morgan would try to stop maya from transitioning or not (like yeah she's evil but idk if i see her as transphobic lol???) but if she did try to stop her mia would fight back no matter what.

anyways, maya transitions, but unfortunately things end up harder for her than mia, as maya isn't able to channel spirits. while she shows some signs of having spiritual powers, she's not anywhere close to as powerful as mia or any of the cis mediums in the family. this is deeply painful for maya and becomes a horrible source of dysphoria. how she sees it, if she can't channel spirits, she'll never really be a woman. in reality, this dysphoria is entirely false, plenty of cis women in the fey clan don't have spiritual powers (even morgan!). mia comforts her by telling her this, that she will always be a girl even if she can't channel spirits. this helps maya a lot, but it still isn't enough to fully rid her of her irrational dysphoria. it's all very hard for her, and i think morgan would definitely make everything worse for her, likely reminding her of her inability to channel for no reason other than to hurt her and make her feel inferior. but mia's positive influence helps her make it through everything, even if she does struggle a lot.

anyways, aa1 happens, and she's finally preformed her first channeling. but there's still a ton of doubt in her mind. despite now knowing she CAN channel, she's still struggling with this same dysphoria. probably thinking along the lines of. 'the only was i can channel is if i'm an urgent situation. If i was a real woman, i could channel at any moment, but i can't. I'm still just a man and nothing more." this all culminates with her inferiority complex in Turnabout Goodbyes. I actually really like reading into Maya's struggle in turnabout goodbyes as a representation of dysphoria, because the way she's hurt by not being able to channel mia is heartbreaking. hell, she literally says some genuinely suicidal things after the taser scene.

ultimately, I think maya finally begins to move past this dysphoria not because she learns to channel better, but because she finally, fully accepts mia's words to her, and i think Phoenix is really the person to finally help her out of it. sometime after turnabout goodbyes, maya opens up to phoenix about how hard this all is to her. tells him about how hard it is to feel like her womanhood is entirely dependent on a skill she struggles to grasp. phoenix would choose this as the time to finally come out to her that he too is trans, and would try his best to comfort maya, telling her how he's always seen her as a girl, how she should never doubt who she is just because she's not as skilled as her sister or mother. i think phoenix would feel some sense of guilt at this point, as he would feel like he played a part in maya's dysphoria since he was always hoping maya could channel mia again. with this, he would feel very motivated to help her through everything, both because of this guilt and just because he's now very committed to protecting maya. this of course wouldn't immediately fix everything for maya, but phoenix's continued support as they spend their days together would end up pushing her into learning to finally accept everything. over time, she's finally able to accept that no matter how strong or weak her spiritual abilities are, she'll always be a girl no matter what. of course, eventually she does become a very successful medium, but that takes much more time, and gradually freeing herself from her painful dysphoria helps her make it there.

okay wow i typed a lot what the fuck i was gonna write some stuff about other characters but this post is so long uhhhhhh apollo athena juniper trucy ema katherine sebastian adrian jinxie penny and a bunch of other ones i forgot to mention are trans women lol

[homosekularnost]

Is there really going to be a sequel to fuckboy strategy??? ❤️🎉❤️

after months (?) of waiting to answer this im finally accepting the wip is never making it to ao3 BUT. it can go under keep reading i think

fuckboy strategy the sequel

Ratthi was the first human to acknowledge my drone.  "Oh, SecUnit is watching over you again!" 

He was addressing Gurathin, but still finger-gunned said drone, same as he'd done with the drone I had on him when he noticed it that morning. He added, "That's good! That means you made up?"

He phrased it like a question, because it clearly was a question. Among the humans on Preservation desperate to find out more about my brief and uncomfortable experiment with sex (which included all humans on Preservation, unfortunately), Ratthi was by far the worst at hiding his curiosity. Overse, who had been sitting next to Gurathin when Ratthi approached them, seemed to agree.

"Don't be nosy, Ratthi." She gave him a friendly elbow bump, then scooted so that he could join her on the shared bench. She leaned back, too, and followed his line of sight. "But, oh, that really is SecUnit's drone!"

Gurathin just grunted in acknowledgement, and continued not looking its way.

(I had to say Ratthi was the first human to acknowledge the drone, because Gurathin had noticed it hours ago.) 

Gurathin hadn’t acknowledged it (we were still not exactly talking) but he didn't throw a fit either, and since we were only now entering hour eight post me apologizing for stonewalling him after we had a (yikes) sexual encounter, I considered it a victory. He hadn't done anything interesting so far, which wasn't saying much because he rarely did. The most exciting bit of his day had been occurring just as Ratthi appeared, when Gurathin apologized to Overse for how moody he'd been two cycles prior.

(The whole conversation was painful to watch, and not just because said moodiness directly preceded and indirectly led to me showing up at his door and performing the saddest handjob in modern history. (Well. I couldn't verify that it was the saddest one, but I had done some research post-incident, and it had to be down there.) It turned out that it was an anniversary of a really traumatic event from his time in Corporate Rim, and that he hadn't been sleeping well as a result, and while we all agreed that this was no excuse for how he was towards his coworker, it did make the fact I vanished on him and then convinced him he'd made me feel violated a little worse.

And it was already pretty bad, so the situation was dire.)

Ratthi got invited because everyone liked having Ratthi around. I wondered if he'd get sent away, once they realized he couldn't help himself from snooping.

"I can feel you staring," Gurathin was presently saying.

Overse flicked Ratthi on the back of his head, and he averted his eyes comically. "Sorry!" he said at the ceiling. "It's just that — " He waved the free hand around. "I don't get how?"

"I don't think it gets that either," Gurathin said, same time as Overse said, "God, Ratthi, how many lesbians are you friends with again?"

Well. Mortifying. Ratthi floundered. 

"I mean!" Ratthi said. "That's different."

"Different how?" Overse asked.

"I don’t want to answer that." At least they were finding it funny. "You know I don't think about you guys having sex."

"Now that I do not buy." That was Pin-Lee. I was late to notice her approach, and rushed to withdraw my drone a little. (I got her to concede I was allowed to record things in public, as long as I didn't keep any audio, but she still glared at my drones if she saw them.)

"What's happening?" She was now sitting down in-between Gurathin and Overse. "Our IT guy looks unwell."

"Not much," Overse said. "Ratthi is just erasing the existence of stone tops."

"Oh, talking about the thing with SecUnit?" Pin-Lee did not even hesitate. Gurathin put his face in his hands, and Ratthi made a noise of protest. 

Gurathin said, "I don't think it'll appreciate getting assigned a stone top," and gestured towards my cowering drone.

Pin-Lee narrowed her eyes at it. "It can move, then."

Overse piped up, "Also, no offence, but I feel Pin-Lee's assumption has less to do with what she thinks it gets up to — "

" — and more with her thinking I'm a pillow princess?" Gurathin snorted into his hands.

"I'd find a more gender affirming way of saying it," Pin-Lee said, "But, yes."

I was too busy looking up what half of these terms meant to have an emotional reaction.

#

Pin-Lee pinged me later on in the day, presumably once the group had parted ways. She asked if she could drop by, and I was at a comfortable 94% performance reliability, so I said yes.

She knocked before entering, even though she saw the drone outside, which I assumed was her way of letting me set the pace.

"Come in," I called out.

She pushed the doors open, then closed the doors behind her.

"Hey," she said. "Watching anything good?"

I was watching season 872 of something called the L word. "Not sure." It had popped up when I searched the term bases for stone top.

She snorted. "Fair." Then, “I wanted to apologize.”

That got me to raise an eyebrow. I turned my face her way. "For what?" All I could think of was her glaring at my drones, but she loved doing that.

She exhaled. "The rest of us have known each other for a long time," she said. "So we know what each other is comfortable with. That's why we don't hesitate to make fun of each other for personal affairs." She bit her cheek. "And we should have kept more tact when it comes to you. Sex is insanely personal, even when — " She gestured towards me.

"Even when one is not a poor wounded construct?" I supplied.

She blinked. "Even when one is not a refugee from a corporation that denied it autonomy and privacy." She rolled her eyes. "But whatever. We’ll do better in the future."

I bit my lip. "It sounds like Gurathin should be the offended one." This serial made it seem like pillow princess was something of an insult.

"He's not, though." Pin-Lee snorted. "He's just embarrassed everyone from that survey now thinks he's into choking."

My face did a thing almost immediately. Pin-Lee took a second to process it.

"What,” she said. She seemed to be struggling to control her face. "What.”

I didn't even try to control my face.

"No way.” She cracked up. "SecUnit, you didn't."

I pulled my hood over my head, and said nothing.

“For your first time?!” she said, then seemed to remember her promise. “Sorry. I’m respecting your privacy. Just.” She cracked up again. “First time?!”

I was keeping this hood over my head forever. "I know how not to hurt a human."

"I bet you do." She was wiping at her eyes. "I mean, at least physically, huh?"

I kept tugging my hood closed. "Ouch."

She gave it one last snort. "Well." She said. "Um. I’m leaving now.”

I was safer in my hood, so I said nothing.

“Sorry again,” she called. “See you around.”

I waited until I heard the doors close to stop holding my breath. I also did a quick status report, just for the fun of it.

My performance ability was now at 89%. I put this down as another reason to never talk about sex with anyone, and continued playing my episode.

[dansevilpianotea]

what are some phancoded songs?

hiiii omg thanks for the ask!! i absolutely love talking about songs i associate with my interests!! (autism has been activated to the highest degree so this will be a long post, you have been warned)

here are some of what i think are classic dnp coded songs:

Guys by The 1975 (i see this as more about the phandom than about dnp tbh but its very very dnp coded no matter how you interpret it) That's So Us by Allie X Still into You by Paramore The Only Exception by Paramore

i have a whole ass 100 song long playlist about dnp but let me give you my favourites that aren't the usual classics:

Eighteen by Pale Waves

This city depresses me But you try to be everything I need We sat on the corner kissing each other Felt like I could finally see in colour I was 18 when I met you Poured my heart out, spilt all my truth I finally felt like I could feel for the first time When I met you

i mean????? thats 2009 dan and phil????? dip and pip??? hello!!??

also fun fact!!: this band is from manchester and this song was written by their non-binary drummer and lesbian lead singer (who lowkey gives lesbian version of dan). you should rlly listen to pale waves. idek if theyve heard of dnp but theyre true phannies to me.

Starlight by Muse

this song, man. never heard of muse until i got into dnp and then i this song was the first one is listened to.

Hold you in my arms I just wanted to hold You in my arms

i feel like it says sth about the expectations of being in a relationship while also presenting yourself on a massive public platform. wanting to be authentic and produce content^tm vs. being closeted and wanting to protect your relationship. 'I will be chasing a starlight, Until the end of my life, I don't know if it's worth it anymore'. Is worth it to constantly push the content out while feeling like a fraud for being inauthentic about your identity? 'And our hopes and expectations, Black holes and revelations'. the future may seem very dark and hopeless sometimes, it may not turn out how we expect or hope, but only once we face instead of fight it (embrace the void etc) we will forgive our past selves and see that the future really is bright. so yes, very dnp coded.

Anniversary by Autoheart

Years of nothing have subsided We have fixed each other up Giving you up? What are you on about? I'll never give up believing in us Giving you up? Now why would I do a thing like that? No I’m not giving you up, no way I will never stop when it comes to you

this song is not only dnp coded (kind of an october 19th theme song) but also has gained a new meaning since the return of dnp games <3. they didnt give up on us. they came back. and we really helped each other get here <3. think about it like that when listening and i guarantee you will be sobbing. the song also has some marriage themes bc theres wedding vows during the bridge so i will just let you live with that <33

Where the Lines Overlap by Paramore

Tracing patterns across a personal map And making pictures where the lines overlap No one is as lucky as us We're not at the end but oh, we already won Call me over And tell me how Well, you got so far Never making a single sound I'm not used to it But I can learn

we werent ready for their comeback / we're still learning to get used to it / just look at them / boiling frog theory / hard phaunch / do i need to say more

Yellow by Coldplay

this song became part of my playlist when phil didnt know a single coldplay song. unfortunately i cant take it serious anymore after dan was turned into a golden pig, then was literally glowing golden during a book event all while #pissyourself4dan was trending and every phannie on twt made their pfps yellow. i will curse your mind to with the lyrics and mental imagery: (im sorry but im also not bc this is how my autism thinks humour works)

Look at the stars Look how they shine for you And everything you do Yeah, they were all yellow ✨✨ Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones Turn into something beautiful ✨✨✨ And you know, you know I love you so 💛

✨✨✨

(im sorry again)

Safe & Sound by Tonight Alive

Dan in BIG: "for the first time since I was a tiny child I actually felt safe."

Nothing compares to what we share I don't have a care in the world Cause even if it all came crashing down, As long as you're around, I'll be safe and sound. 🧡

ending it with a nice one because its beautiful and sappy and its so them afterall. they really won rpf.

thank you for this ask, i enjoyed answering it!! (im sorry for taking so long. im on day 11 of a cold so ive not had much energy.)

[luckybitch1]

speaking of my water sign thing about keeping sad memories close the kuromi design does have a story i got it after my best friend ended our friendship for good after a really crazy situation like really crazy lesbian drama it was like living a manhwa bro you dont even want to know. i dont regret getting it because ill always miss her even though its for the best and i dont want to forget how important she was to me. ive never met a sweeter soul its really unfortunate we couldnt get past our issues at the end because it was so stupid to let that separate us after years being sisters to each other

i can never accept how in life sometimes theres no redemption. i think so deeply about how things happen and change everything forever. you just lose control sometimes no matter how hard you tried, half the time for the dumbest reasons. you can just lose people and things and never get them back. i guess thats why i like collecting tattoos in the first place my terrible judgement aside lol. its like at least something is permanent and they might blur or you could cover them up, add more, whatever but theyll never actually be gone. even if you get laser you'll have a vague impression in your skin forever. theres so few things permanent in my life and this ink will be with me until im gone. or i lose a whole arm or something jeez

i wonder if she ever thinks back on our friendship and wishes it didnt have to end too or if its still all heartbreak and betrayal. at the time i couldnt stand to read it but ill never forget the letter she wrote me, so sentimental, about how she couldnt imagine us not being friends. me neither leiko

[mintmatcha]

can u tell us what you didn't like about hazbin hot? I'm not a big musical person so I also tuned out when they started singing lol

Yes lol here's a long ass nonsense rant under the cut.

The creator of the show has done some really racist shit in the past and hides from criticism behind her queerness, but whenever that's brought up, it's immediately shot down and I'm told to separate the art from the artist.

that being said. here's my critique of the show itself.

but hazbin relies so much on material outside of the show. there's things you're supposed to know from twt and tumblr and other sources to make the show make sense. you can't say the show needs to exist in its bubble away from the creator and then make us dependent on the creator for information about the characters.

for me, it's less about "why is a show bad?" and it's more "what makes a show good?". Frankly, I don't think there's anything in this show to make it good.

First off- the show is ugly. The character designs aren't good and often repetitive (suits. same color palettes, same body shapes, etc) The animation itself isn't good either, unfortunately.

We have to stop pretending alastor isn't a crime to character design. He's so ugly. there's almost nothing redeemable about how he looks.

I thought the show itself had one of the weakest plots I've seen. it felt like the first draft of a 14 year old and tried to fit 5 seasons worth of ideas into 8 episodes, so the pacing was just awful. There's no semblance of time passing or real urgency in most episodes because vivziepop was trying to fit in all 50 of her OCs.

example: There was almost no reason for the V's to be in the show-- and the other overlords for that matter. None of them really do anything other than Valentino, who's just there to make Angel's story stronger in this season.

(not to mention Valentino and Vaggie, the series to latinx characters, fall into some fucked up stereotypes)

We are just told this collection of people is strong and scary, but we never really see WHY. It's a waste of time in a crammed show.

That being said, one of the main characters sir pentious had no real weight as a character and had less screen time than some of the nothing characters. Half of alastors time should have been used building him up, including, I dunno. all of episode three. There's no reason to introduce all of those characters other to give alastor the info that an angel has died, right? He's. The radio demon. he should just have some sort of news ability or connections to get him that info. (also that episode makes it really easy to know who killed the angel. there's no mystery to it.)

There are also so many things that simply don't make sense in the show? They are told almost immediately that their plan will not work, so they go to heaven to be told... the same thing.

Vaggie is amazed that angels can be hurt and killed when she is an angel who was hurt and almost killed. (Vaggie and Charlie have a super weak relationship btw. I think it's so poorly done. In a show about sucking dick and cock, it made me roll my eyes that the lesbians have such a pg relationship. how come everyone else gets to be horny other than the lesbians? Because its harder to fetishize? )

the ending was just. awful. Lucifer won the fight without that much of a struggle. It feels like he could have just done that. whenever.

Im going to get murdered for saying this but the songs aren't good, they just have a killer vocal cast. the backing music sucks every time.

[mjshortformcjesus]

INTRO POST PART TWO THE SECOND

this is long

ok my name is mj. obviously. its short for mcjesus like the mcdonalds version of jesus. and also mortimer jebidiah. i have no gender (lost it in a game of blackjack unfortunately) so they/it/ any neos. im good with whatever besides he and she :3

movies i like- the saw franchise (!!!), the thing, the fly, princess bride, spiderverse, nimona, i saw the tv glow, we’re all going to the worlds fair, everything everywhere all at once, the sixth sense, the substance, the blob, fight club. i like lots of movies :]

shows i like- dead boy detectives, the owl house, good omens, dont hug me im scared. uh i think thats it

books- six of crows (also all the leigh bardugo books ive read them all multiple times), all the andrew joseph white books, the raven cycle, all for the game, they both die at the end, the house in the cerulean sea, wilder girls, dune, the neverending story, etc etc i read a lot

music (i am autistic if you were wondering)- the crane wives, ewy, ajj, ghost mice, spoonboy, mal blum, bears in trees, mother mother, negative xp, cattle decapitation, ricky montgomery, cheap dirty horse, bird teeth, the butchies, team dresch, against me, the mechanisms, the scary jokes, mischief brew. i could go on (i also have second hand autism from my friend @b-movie-scream-king about murderdolls but i dont listen to them very much)

i draw sometimes (trad art because whenever i do online art i hate it very much) and write always. my ao3 is here and i post writing things sometimes

i loveeee the magnus archives its so frickin rad and i mod for a hc blog for it: @the-headcanon-archives

i have real bad anxiety so im sorry if i never talk to my mutuals and im bad at responding. i promise i love all my mutuals and i wanna talk to yall but idk how :/. i also hallucinate haha thats fun. im paranoid too.

i was born on September 11, 1934 at 4:20 am exactly. if you care about that shit.

oh yeah ima lesbian oriented aroace. my beloved wife is @w3bcu1t and she’s so cool go follow her NOW

i am normal about mkultra so dont even start

i think that’s all you need to know SEND ME ASKS IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ME IM A VERY OPEN PERSON I SWEAR

^those are my genders (they them fish and amanda young)

dni: (putting it here because it was in a reblog which meant i couldnt edit this post)

queerphobes, ableists, racists, antisemitists, zionists, xenophobes, pedos, terfs, etc etc (writing this made me sad why are there so many flavors of discrimination??)

idc about whatever else if i dont like you i wont iinteract with you 👍

[ribboncare]

i do not care for nurse doom

to start this blog off right, im going to immediately launch into my many issues with doom and how he is both delivered and perceived

with that said, here are my main and most thought on qualms

doom being paired with patients

whilst i believe pairing any patient with a staff member is creepy and gross, doom in particular is not only shipped with a plethora of them, but also finds his way into the main polyamorous quadruplet that makes up cometcare. this is troublesome for many, many reasons, but the main one that always springs to mind is this: the egregious power imbalance

think about it. would you really go out with your medical nurse? wouldnt that be odd? not to mention doom has hurt and tortured several of the patients he is currently in a relationship with in cometcare. i dont know about anyone else, but it would personally make me extremely uncomfortable to have anyone insinuate me and a person who abused me would make a great couple

dooms gender being changed for the express purpose of shipping

doom used to be a cis man. while there is nothing wrong with him being changed to agender, kc has gone on record saying that it was specifically so his gender could be compatible with caroline being a lesbian

from a perspective of "these are just kc's ocs!", this is ultimately something to shrug and maybe make a face over. however, from the perspective of sparklecare as a piece of media (which is very much is, regardless of what kc thinks) and as a story, it is upsetting. why make a man agender just to ship with a lesbian? a lesbian that he has hurt repeatedly, no less? its not a very fun situation

dooms extremely sudden character "development"

i say "development" in quotations because truly, there was none. one day kc decided squeak liked doom, and thus his deterioration began. squeak started drawing him much more friendly looking and decided that any of the things he had done in the past volumes (such as being toxicly masculine and (even unwillingly) misogynistic towards uni when taking away beary) suddenly didnt happen. doom is forced to do things like this yes, but he had no reason to act maliciously as he does in many of these situations before the sudden change. now he has been sanded down to his barest bones, leaving a sad and pathetic little guy who you Have to feel sorry for :( he has no say in the matter of what he does :( he would never hurt a fly :( yes he tortures people for a living BUT DONT LOOK AT THAT! look at how sad and lonely he is!! :(!!!

overall, i would not say doom is my favorite character. in fact, because of these issues, hes probably one of my least favorite ones. its extremely frustrating seeing kc course correct so hard to make characters squeak likes into "good guys" that they lose all sense of themselves along the way. if you ask me, doom should have stayed morally ambiguous. it is not only much more interesting, it is actually true to what his original role as a character was. i do unfortunately believe that because of cometcares existence, this role is forever lost and will never be found again, which is a shame

doom had the chance to be such a captivating and compelling character, but will forever be stifled for the sake of shipping and making sure any character kc likes is unmistakably "redeemable", no matter what the cost

[mommyownsmee]

Hi there! I just stumbled across your answer and I have to thank you again. Im not sure if there’s enough thank yous in the world that I could say to you. Thank you so much for seeing me as person with a racing thoughts in my head that is trying to take responsibility and not just as a mess walking around and ruining everything.

If I’ll be honest I never had talk such as this with someone. I was always to have this talk with my girls because I was too scared of hurting them. So I always bottled it up but that never ends up good. And it always ended up with me having bigger mess in my head than I already did.

As I was sitting in my therapy we found out that the sex life will be more difficult than we thought. And relationships too because I build way too much walls around me. But I feel like it’s important to mention that I’m not heartless Monstrum or someone who doesn’t give flowers or who is scared to give love. I have a huge issues with receiving it.

Because, I have a first answer for my question.

I figured out that Im switch4switch and verse4verse. I need to do everything and I need to be everything. Fucked from behind and have my holes fucked that the dildo comes through my mouth (a joke) and I need to fuck my partner like a rabbit in heat. I need to be a mommy and fuck my partner and I need my partner fuck me senseless while I’m called a good girl as I sob. I need to be in a top and I need to be on the bottom. I need to receive what I give. I need to dom and I need to be dommed and I need to sub and I need a sub all in one.

And I need it outside of sexual life too. I need to follow them around like a lost bunny in my cute dress and then the next day I’ll take the lead.

The question of my physical attraction was actually never a question for me. I don’t care if you are femme, fem, masc, butch, or don’t have any style or do them all. At the end of the day I need switch and verse.

But I always met with girls who through the relationship found out that they’re pillow princess or only subs (which good for them) and since that I have a huge issue with receiving. I been reassured many times that it wasn’t because I’m ugly or bad but because I made them feel safe enough to come out of the shell. Which I’m happy for them but now my mind is unfortunately telling me something else.

And I thought that I can be with sub and pillow princess and just ignore my sub side and bottle it up but unfortunately I really can’t.

But the answer for my first question leads me only to more questions. Because will I even like sex? I had one crush and I still do on a girl I saw only four times and the last time I saw her in December 2023! I don’t get my pussy wet from others and I don’t feel my heart skip a beat when I look at other girls/ lesbians. I know I’m definitely on the asexual spectrum but that only leads to, again, I do have a huge problem with receiving but I do very much know I want to receive.

Im so happy and glad I could talk to you about this because I swear to god that you’re only one of those blog that doesn’t have sex only on their brain. And it’s just so nice and refreshing to read. Thank you so much for who you’re and for the way you talk with others.

A beautiful mix? Well… from me being switch and verse and presenting both feminine and masculine… you’re kinda right. (Not sure if beautiful). When I was a kid I was listening way too much to “Best of the both worlds” apparently 😭

Aaah this is way too long now. I’ll short it. I would get Reddit but idk how to use it and it looks scary. I started a new sport and that’s swimming and I’m very good at it. My mental health god worse (but that will be better, fr I know it). I’ll continue letting it unfold naturally cuz due to that I was able to get an answer.

Sending so much love back and thank you so much for everything and mostly for understanding and being able to hear all of my bullshit and see me through them.

Hey there sweetheart, 𝒙𝒙

Your message left me speechless. I can feel the weight of everything you’ve been carrying, and I’m truly honored that you—again—felt comfortable enough to share more of it with me.

First, let me tell you that you are so much more than just a “mess walking around ruining everything.” What I see in your words is someone who’s incredibly introspective, someone who’s actively working through complex feelings and experiences to try to make sense of it all. That kind of work takes strength, and I see that strength in you. You’re not just someone with “racing thoughts,” you’re someone who’s aware of your thoughts, who’s questioning and exploring them instead of letting them define you. That’s not something a “mess” does—that’s what someone strong and deeply human does.

It must be incredibly hard not to have had these kinds of conversations with your friends and partners, especially out of fear of hurting them. That’s a heavy burden to bear on your own. Bottling up feelings may feel like a way to protect others, but I know from what you’ve shared that it’s been more harmful to you in the long run. You’re carrying so much internally, and it’s understandable that it feels overwhelming. The fact that you’re now able to articulate what’s going on in your head—about sex, relationships, and even your struggles with receiving love—shows that you’ve been doing a lot of deep thinking. That’s not easy, but it’s such an important step toward understanding yourself better.

When you mentioned that therapy uncovered how difficult things like sex and relationships might be for you, especially with the walls you’ve built, I felt that. It’s not easy to break down those barriers when they’ve been your safety net for so long. But you really are not a “heartless monster.” In fact, the way you talk about wanting to love and be loved is the opposite of that. You’re not afraid of love; you’re just someone who needs it to be reciprocal, balanced, and meaningful. The issue isn’t that you’re incapable of love—it’s that you’ve struggled with receiving it in the ways that feel safe and right for you.

Your description of what you need, both sexually and emotionally, is so detailed and layered. The fact that you’ve figured out you’re switch4switch and verse4verse is such a powerful realization. I think a lot of people don’t fully grasp how important it is to feel both sides of the dynamic in relationships. You’re not just looking for someone to be one thing—you need them to meet you in all the spaces you occupy, whether that’s being dominant or submissive, top or bottom, taking charge or following along. And it’s okay to need all of those things. It’s okay to want to be the one who’s following someone like a “lost bunny” one day and then taking the lead the next. You don’t have to fit into just one box or role—your needs are dynamic, and that’s a beautiful thing.

I can see how frustrating it must have been to be with people who realized over time that they were only subs or pillow princesses, leaving your needs unmet. It’s great that they felt safe enough with you to figure that out, but I completely understand how that could leave you feeling like you were left hanging, without getting the fulfillment you need. It makes sense that this would build up a fear of receiving. You’ve been reassured that it’s not about you being “ugly or bad,” and while that’s comforting, it doesn’t make the hurt go away. When people leave you feeling like your needs aren’t important or that they can’t be met, it can definitely make you question yourself. But please know this: it’s not because you’re asking too much. What you’re asking for—a partner who can match your energy in all its forms, someone who can give and take in equal measure—is entirely valid.

The fact that this realization has led to even more questions is so understandable. I think it’s so natural to wonder, will I even like sex? when there’s so much complexity to it for you? The idea of not feeling that instant attraction or physical desire except for this one girl you’ve had a crush on makes sense too, especially if you’re on the asexual spectrum. You can know you want to receive and still have a complicated relationship with how to get there, especially when you’ve been met with so many barriers in the past. There’s nothing wrong with that—it just means you’re still learning about yourself and figuring out what really works for you. The fact that you’re questioning all of this shows how deeply you’re trying to understand who you are and what you need, and that’s something to be proud of.

I’m genuinely moved by your kind words about me not being one of those blogs with “sex on the brain.” I try really hard to meet people where they are, and it’s so important to me that you felt seen and understood. The way you described yourself as a “beautiful mix” of feminine and masculine, of switch and verse, is honestly such a wonderful way to describe the complexity of who you are. It reminds me that none of us fit neatly into one category, and it’s okay to embody both sides of yourself. Whether it’s being “beautiful” in the traditional sense or not, I think there’s something inherently beautiful about being able to balance and embrace those different aspects of yourself. And hey, I’d say listening to “Best of Both Worlds” as a kid probably helped you understand that balance early on!

Lastly, I’m really proud of you for starting swimming—it sounds like a great way to take care of yourself, especially while navigating everything else in your life. Mental health can be a rollercoaster, and I know you’ve mentioned it’s gotten worse lately, but I’m glad to hear you’re confident it will get better. I believe it will too. You’ve been through so much already, and the fact that you’re still here, still questioning, still growing—it’s proof that you’ve got the strength to come through this.

You’re not alone in any of this. I’m here, and I see you for who you really are: someone full of depth, love, and desire for connection, who’s just trying to find the right balance in all the complexity. You’re worthy of finding that balance, of being with someone who gets you, and of receiving love in all the ways that feel right to you.

Thank you for sharing this part of yourself with me, and know that I’m sending so much love and understanding your way.

Take care of yourself, and don’t ever stop being the beautifully complex person that you are. ♡

[lordprettyflackotara]

Curse you for making me cry 😭😭 both the endings r so saddd

I love ur writing and thank u for the series

but DAYUM

I wish they could all be together :(

honestly i tried sooo hard to come up with a happy ending and it’s just not realistic and unfortunately im a simp but a realistic one😔. here are some fun facts to make the hitchhiker readers feel just a LITTLE better:

1. Nova originally was actually gonna be dead and hung from the ceiling, but i thought that honestly would’ve been too much of a let down for her character

2. the dynamic between toby and nova is my favorite, the relentless hatred but common love for the reader forcing them to be around one another whether they want to or not

3. i originally had never planned for nova and jack to get together. at first i wanted to make nova a lesbian, but i figured her love for the reader would conflict with the plot at that point. i also love my sweet bby and thought she enjoyed some love before her fate. canonically she’s unlabeled (or pansexual for those who need a box to put her in) and i resonate with her for that reason since im unlabeled as well

4.at first i planned on extending the kate arc, but after doing research on cat hunter i thought he was more interesting as an antagonist

5. in a scraped chapter reader was going to get matching tattoos with the proxies, it was scraped since it felt sort of out of place

hope these kinda help everyone recover😭🫶🏼

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Round 4 Match 15

propaganda below the cut! (massive wall of text warning)

Tracy Chapman:

"I can’t think of anything clever to say because I’m too busy sighing dreamily"

"GUYS ITS FUCKING TRACY CHAPMAN VOTE FOR HER OR ELSE ILL EAT PLAYDOUGH"

"Tracy Chapman made the best song of all time (fast car)"

"ik im the hope sandoval guy but if hope doesn't make it tracy has to she made me realize i was a lesbian i just thought i was bi then i listened to her and now im a lesbian she is powerful she is strength if you looked at her and looked at my art you would see 20 years of inspiration from one single woman"

"she's too good to commit atrocities to me but im the gore guy and you aren't for that. i would let her take out my vocal chords and use them as floss. i would have her saw down my bones to make a vinyl of her music. i would go on all fours and let her slaughter me like a pig. i want to be her cat"

"The most powerful written and performed voice of the 90s. Everyone, of any nationality or belief system, could feel the words Tracy Chapman sang. She gets her dues but deserves even more."

Stephen Malkmus:

"i can't even stand stephen malkmus but there's a very special girl out there who needs this win"

"My perpetually stoned, nonsensical girlfriend...if we don't invent the time machine soon I might die. He's like 6 ft tall so unfortunately I'd be like one of those birds that ride on giraffes and eat bugs out of their fur. And then I'd die in a weed accident during the recording of Wowee Zowee? Before that though I'd spend 25 hrs a day in bed with him. Alright thanks"

"Stephen Malkmus chronically addicted to moaning and gasping in Pavement songs like he’s getting the best dicking down of his life in the back of the tour bus while everyone else is asleep"

"This is the indie-label match, right? Then it has to be Malkmus, he *made* the scene. And he's still releasing excellent music today. He's just the most influential rockstar of the 90s."

"my gay pavement fan uncle gets out of prison tonight and he knows you ratted him out in '06. the only way to make this right is to vote for stephen"

"Pretty please vote for him, my friend loves him and he really wants him to win"

""There were times he refused to speak to his bandmates, pulling a jacket over his head and referring to himself as "the little bitch"." I have also heard him refer to himself as a brat, a queen, a primadonna, a sociopath, and a narcissist. All of these descriptors have made me want to slam him against a wall and turn his neck fun new colors."

"I mean, Pavement is THEE indie band of the 90s. The lowkey snark, Koreaaaa, so much style that it's wasted. And Malkmus is an understated cool rockstar: the hair, the face, Silver Jews! He never ever sold out. He's the 90s."

"the most beautiful man ever he looks like a gorgeous fairytale prince. he has been hot since he emerged on the scene and continues to be so as their reunion tour comes to a close. stephen forever"

"we have to consider the autism swagger. find me a pavement write up that doesn’t spend three paragraphs waxing lyrical on his inability to make eye contact. find me a YouTube comment section that doesn’t have hoards of moms swooning over his flat affect. his refusal to wear anything more formal than a flannel for the first decade of his career? genuinely culturally influential. 30 glorious years of expressionless performances. sunglasses in the dark. so many straight men falling over themselves for him they made a joke about it in the Barbie movie. raw tbh sex appeal. and he’s got a great nose"

"he had a couple of unfortunate haircuts during this period but highkey i would break both of my arms to just be able to make out with him. please vote for SM my life is in danger if you don't"