#unfortunately i cant be one of those fuck what everyone thinks kind of people

[swankpalanquin]

i think i've used up all my being social at work energy for this month

[thatneoncrisis]

about the kind-of-sort-of accidental racism in the books: it is so goddamn unfortunate that of the only two middle eastern main characters, one of them exploded and the other burst into flames. plus they’re from a planet where everyone is everyone else’s cousin. tazmuir did a good thing including so many poc in her books but oh my god these things take about 3 seconds to think about

tamsyn has this. really puzzling approach to race. i understand why everyone is kiwi its like crucial to whats going on in the story and johns mindset. and then she goes out of her way to specify everyones exact race in her description post. and its not that this isnt helpful for visualization but its like. this is a society 10000 years in the future. race as its conceived of now wouldnt fucking exist.

how is isaac still chinese after that much time. how are people reproducing with this exact kind of division that allows her to discern that this person is tongan but this person is mixed maori, as if they arent all mixed. it feels so specific that it would be relevant, but it literally just isnt. theyre jsut how she saw the characters, which is one things but they cant. literally be those things anymore. she doesnt find race really relevant to most of her characters which kind of leads to shit that doesnt make sense or is in poor taste. if the houses were divided racially over time and they happened to resemble x group for taz to call them that then cool, that could have interesting implications for how isolated they are. but abigail is white and magnus isnt. isaac is nz chinese and jeannemary isnt. dulcinea is white and pro isnt. i always think about it

[otrtbs]

People who post “I never meant to start a war()” takes ARE SO PICK ME I CANT DO IT ANYMORE

you don’t like Sirius looking a bit more feminine? Idc. You don’t like jegulus? Idc. Who think that people shouldn’t like the skittles? IDC. You say Regulus shouldn’t be so popular? I DONT CARE

Why can’t people just enjoy the fandom instead of complain and thus making it worse for others and themselves

unfortunately i’ve been dying to talk about this for a quick minute

these people do not have friends. 😭

those kinds of tiktoks are things that you say privately, to ur friends. nobody else gives a fuck ‼️

like do they not have friends to talk to about this??? or they do have friends to talk to about this and they’d rather get validation from tiktok strangers which is. so sad. and so embarrassing.

what’s that one tweet that was like “social media has convinced a lot of yall that ur opinions are more important than they are” 😭😭 like ,,,,i get 2nd hand embarrassment sometimes bc why are these ppl on tiktok acting like everyone is waiting to suck up their opinions w a straw ??? 😭 go talk to ur friends.

[chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy]

Okay this is actually a partial reply to another post

but my reply got so long i think tumblr literally cant cope LMAO so (context the Amity park perception filter thread with @kaidatheghostdragon which i will edit a link into after posting (X) Edit: the context link is now attached)

Honestly they might not CRASH crash the economy but I honestly think they could do some serious damage. At the very least if Amity is going to start essentially printing USD with these cards to get infrastructure and the like set up the inflation within the town is going to go crazy and they might just need a new currency. I think it's also determined by how LARGE you consider Amity to be. As I've always seen it described as a small town I've always envisioned it to have a population of around 10,000 people. AS IT TURNS OUT the wiki describes it as 'Amity Park is depicted as a moderately large urban city, reminiscent of Chicago, San Francisco, and/or Philadelphia' WHICH IS WAY LARGER THAN I IMAGINED. I don't know SHIT about American cities or their layouts apart from the fact that Everything Is Squares and also apparently the junctions are death(? Apparently America doesn't have roundabouts??? Bro??? I don't know if that was a Simpsons gag but I think about it maybe half as often as I use roundabouts), BUT the point is that google says those cities are somewhere around 800,000 to 2.6 million.

Honestly I think those are weird numbers because those are enough of a range to not be at all considered the same size imo but we'll take Philadelphia as our base bc that's the one in the middle at 1.5 million. In "Amity Park's" population statistics (X) if you take everyone from 20-44 (we're pretending people under 20 can't get one bc apparently 13 year olds can get them with special permissions and that fills me with a special kind of anguish to have learned) but if you take everyone from 20-44 that population totals something like 613,028.

We'll give an error margin of 10% to account for people who are auto disqualified for whatever reason and between that error margin and the people I'm ignoring I think it's realistic to assume you could get 551,726 people credit cards. Unlimited ones? maybe not. But look me in the eyes and tell me if Sam Manson was told 'We can fix the public infrastructure that's damaging the environment and cause serious damage to predatory lending companies' She would not use her families wealth to be backing people as some kind of collateral/co-signer to get OBSCENLEY high credit cards SO FAST. That's to say nothing of if Tucker and the Other Nerds decide it's actually completely fine for them to hack into these companies and auto approve all these credit cards. Like the towns in dire straights so why not? It's unfortunately a pretty human tendency to see the people you care about in trouble and decide you're willing to throw literally anyone and everyone under the bus so I can see him/them doing it.

So. 551,726 people, with theoretically unlimited money to spend. CONSERVATIVELY if they racked up $500,000 USD on each card, the amount of money spent by Amity would end up being $275,863,000,000 or $275.8 BILLION Now the GDP of the USA is $25.44 Trillion, which looks like $25,440,000,000,000 so it's not a LOT in the grand scheme of things but it is just over 1%, I'm not going to pretend I know what that does economically to the entire USA but consider that Beer sales in the USA accounted for $106 billion in 2022, and that amity would potentially be generating nearly three times that. (X) I have just gone on a fucking TANGENT about the economy in this silly fun times thread of ours so I apologise I will try and sum up very quickly why I think they could spend so much so quickly. Philadelphia has a total of 37 hospitals. They built a new one sometime around 2021 to the tune of $1.6 billion (X) If Amity built a new hospital for liminality care and a few new ones Just Because They Realised They Can, say they build ten new hospitals, which is a VERY LARGE amount of new hospitals to build on workforce Alone, but they probably have tireless ghost workers who are probably obsessed with construction and regular living workers who want to be paid in the times before everyone had acclimated to the ghosts properly. Split among 551,726 people that's actually a fairly reasonable $28,999.90, which, hilariously, is actually just in and around the average limit to credit cards. So they wouldn't even need Sam or Tucker to mess with credit cards yet (X) Averages typically suck as a way of measuring stuff but this isn't a Real Life Government Project so I'm willing to call that acceptable. So if it's only $30k for ten hospitals why the hell am I citing a fat $500k each? Luxury Shit. A few luxury cars and some big name watches and you've blown through that $500k no problem. That's to say nothing of all the REST of the infrastructure that needs fixing - the roads, the schools, the libraries, the replacement materials for the transport system - hell building the APDC is going to probably be another billion dollar project if they want two portals large enough to get what is probably multilane traffic through in regards to transport. Sure the cars won't be useful for long maybe but that's just one example. Jewellery, coats - hell designer shoes and collector nonsense can go for STUPID amounts and as people who are desperate to outpace their neighbours in Cool Stuff They Own realise that their neighbours are capable of getting all the same crap they are? people are either going to stop caring or they're going to start buying some Really Obscure Shit. For the others who just wanted to buy pretty things? There's literally no reason to stop. Amity might have to limit the amount of crap people can get shipped in per week/impose serious shipping tariffs just to make sure the new FTL supply chain doesn't collapse because people are determined to get their new Cashmere and Mohair coats with Gold Embroidery or what the hell ever on next day delivery. Honestly in this scenario the cards over time thing probably doesn't matter because I'm pretty sure the Amity expenditure would DESTROY the lending company, which might then actually be the thing to get Amity rediscovered or maybe they space all these buildings out over time so they keep living the sweet life.

[trickstarbrave]

WIP Whenever

hiiiii i got tagged by @boethiahspillowbook

this is what i got so far on the azura and nerevar piece. not much further bc im still trying to figure out shading and how i want it to be. oof. also unsure abt azura's halo fsr it just looks.... off on her. and i think i wanna make some of the blood a brighter red to tie in together with all the rest of the red. lots of things im considering...

also for written wips. uh.

unfortunately i only have the. fucking cursed omegaverse nerevoryn im working on. once again never consider anything as like a joke or ironically that is the devil talking and you will start doing things for real.

in my defense though omegaverse is such a wild concept that trying to go "okay but seriously how would this work in a society and why would it be this way" is actually entertaining. very fun to go "yes, and...." over and over. oh, fated mates exist? what if they weren't just a cheesy soulmates thing but had a logical explanation. how would these dynamics effect various social classes? how would different cultures be effected? i have world builder's disease clearly

ALSO i tag anyone who hasnt been tagged yet and wants to :> i cant keep up with which of my mutuals have been tagged or not.... let me see ur ideas pls

--

“... In all honesty,” The healer began, sounding exacerbated, “I have never seen a case like this in all my years. But there is only one answer I can come to based on everything else.”

“Go on.” Nerevar tried to keep his voice level rather than annoyed. Azura knows how terrified most people got when he was angry. 

The healer pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“How familiar are you with fated mates?” At her question, Nerevar froze, stunned, before he gave a loud bark of laughter. The healer, however, did not laugh or smile back, and instead only looked more resolute. 

“... Be serious with me.” 

“I am being serious, Lord Nerevar.” 

“Are you--are you seriously trying to say Voryn is my--”

“I understand how strange it sounds at first.” The healer cut him off. “Typically when someone meets their fated mate they determine it quickly. It only takes a few heat or rut cycles before the draw is undeniable.” She sighed once again. “I can only assume because you knew Lord Dagoth before either of you presented, the draw was less noticeable.” 

It kind of made sense, to a degree. When people wrote about fated mates it was usually that they had a scent that was undeniable. Even passing by them on the street, you couldn’t get the scent out of your head for days on end, trying to find it again and again. Even those who tried to deny it couldn’t refuse the pull forever; heats and ruts were unbearable, the longing overwhelming the pair. No one had ever recorded an account of a fated pair who knew each other prior to presenting though; fated mates were absurdly rare, after all. They were more common in fiction than real life, and only the most hopeless of romantics ever went out actually looking for one. Most people just found a mate they liked rather than chase after some destined person, and why fated mates even existed was a mystery. Did everyone have one but distance kept them from finding one? That didn’t seem likely; the most common belief was that some people were born with them--not many members of the population, anyways--and even fewer actually found their ‘other half’. Someone meeting a fated mate before presenting, when you were children not off exploring the wider world yet, was even more unlikely. How would you react if you could constantly smell and see them before either of you presented?

Dumac told him the dwemer scholars believed it had something to do with ‘reproductive compatibility’. Not that it was a mystical, god given connection like some believed, but rather those with a fated partner were less compatible with most of the population, so when they did find someone they could produce children with easily, the desire to mate was enhanced strongly. Nerevar didn’t know if he liked that explanation either though. He found the ideas the gods made destined partners to love each other forever as too romantic of an idea for reality yes, but presuming there must be something wrong with them wasn’t much better. 

It didn’t seem likely that he and Voryn could just ignore the draw for decades though, right? Surely that wouldn’t be possible. The draw was supposed to be strong, impossible to deny past a certain point.

Sure, when he was younger and Voryn was in a rut he always came by to check on him before he was shooed away, but that was just boredom. And when he was in heat Voryn would pass him notes under the door from time to time that he’d bury in the nests he made, but that was just because being in heat made him feel sensitive and sappy. Nothing more. And shouldn’t there be something more if they were a fated pair?

“Your other symptoms make me more certain of it.” The healer continued, pulling him from his thoughts.

“How so?” Nerevar raised an eyebrow. 

“It isn’t healthy for an unmated omega to be around an alpha in rut.” She replied, a fact that always made Nerevar roll his eyes. “It causes excess stress, even if it doesn’t trigger a heat. Unless you are drawn to the alpha in question as a potential partner, usually a rut is off putting, distressing, or nauseating for an unmated omega.”

“They’ve never bothered me to that extent.” Nerevar snarked.

“Precisely.” She locked eyes with him. “You handle it more akin to an omega who’s already been mated, despite not having the scent of one.” Nerevar tensed at that. He hadn’t thought of it like that in the slightest; why would he? He wasn’t mated. Anyone could smell on him that he wasn’t. “Those who have met a fated partner experience mated behaviors before the bond is even set. Rejecting other suitors, unbothered by others in a heat or rut,” She sighed. “Lord Vivec even explained you are giving off the same scent as a bonded omega whose mate is absent.” Nerevar’s cheeks flushed at that. 

“That’s--” Nerevar tensed slightly, “I wouldn’t go that far.” Surely Nerevar wasn’t. He wasn’t fucking bonded, why would he be throwing out the same scent as an omega who went into heat, begging for their mate to come tend to them? 

“You are.” She asserted, though she did have some sympathy in her gaze at least. “Unfortunately, the best I can do is, if you truly don’t want the bond, I can give you suppressants. They won’t actively stop it given you already went into heat, but they should calm some of the worst side effects.” Nerevar already knew what she was going to say next though. “But your next one will be much of the same. The side effects will continue to worsen.” Short of running away to the other side of the continent and burning anything he owned that Voryn had ever so much as touched, he would be able to smell Voryn faintly, after all. In the palace, on his belongings, anywhere Voryn had been might trigger the worst of the symptoms all over again now that he had a heat triggered by his rut no doubt. 

“At the very least, Lord Dagoth is in control of his emotions.” Voryn’s eyebrow twitched at that, his arms tightening. “You can spent ruts and heats together without actually mating, until you come to a decision on how to proceed. It should alleviate both of your struggles.” 

Shit, Nerevar hadn’t even considered what Voryn must be going through. Was his irritation and lack of eating because he subconsciously knew Nerevar was supposed to be his but wasn’t there by his side? When he was younger was that out of character, violent rage because he knew, right there in the stronghold, his mate was being kept from him? No doubt the next rut Voryn would be uncontrollable; before he could hold back because he wasn’t consciously aware of what he wanted, but now that he knew it was Nerevar… 

[luffythinker]

What do you think Shigaraki's favorite things are? Like I know he says he hates everything but what kinds of foods and things do you think he likes?

I think he likes Gamer food and all that but I want a deeper dive then that. Like do you think he likes candy? Sour or sweet? What's his favorite soda? I know he drinks it straight from one of those big bottles and can never finish it. XD do you think he likes greasy food? Or does it hurt his stomach? What foods just dont agree with him? What he allergic to? Peanuts cause that's so basic but also a common food that everyone is probably surprised he cant eat and now that he mentioned it they never can remember him eatting whatever it is.

I think Shig is a briefs wearer, nothing else no undershirt but Dabu wears undershirts and so does Twice. Unfortunately Himiko wasn't raided correct enough to feel comfortable wearing stuff like that but she likes the look of pretty bras and panties but cant bring herself to wear them, she just wears a sports bra and boxers she wishes she could wear them tho.

Dabi and Twice are the only ones who'll sit around shirtless, moreso Dabi then Twice, Dabi sags, Shigaraki's trans ass admires their gender so hard, at first couldnt bring himself to be shirtless around them but when he got comfortable on a bit day he just fuck it, took his shirt off.

Whether or not he had top surgery at the time meant nothing cause the league accepts him for who he is but I would like to say he has had it.

Himiko thinks Shigs top scars are cool

I think Dabi would be that meme where a person is like "would you date a trans women" and the other person is like "is she thick?" And the first person is like "but she was a man before." And they are like "that doesn't matter shes a women now, is she thick?" Have you seen that one before? Dabi is very bisexual he does not care his priorities are the only thing that's straight

I wanna get to know these people on a personal (spiritual) level

I think you already did the deep dive you were looking for kjdfjkdfjkdf better than i ever could tbh

I can't really think of his favorite things like this off the top of my head, but going of what you pointed here, let's try to think something. So about food first: thinking a favorite food for him is hard because of his upbringing and then poverty, but i like to think he would like sweet things (not extremely sweet, but yk), so maybe a cake? something that still is a good memory from his childhood. He likes candy, especially strawberry flavored ones, but that sounds lame so he lies and says he prefers sour stuff. I would just go with cola for him, cause yk he's a gamer and lowkey unhealthy, so a lot of ramen and cola when he pulls all night to play LOL. Not all greasy food, but mostly fries, he loves those, he would eat a bucket everyday if he could. For some reason my first thought for foods he doesn't like was seafood but he's japanese so that would limit his choices a lotkjkjdf but maybe he doesn't like extremely spicy stuff, it upsets his stomach. As for allergies, I'm gonna project here and say he has a corn allergy (idk how common corn is in japan, but where i live it's really everyday food so i have a lot of trouble with this).

And for the rest, i really don't have many additional thoughts on it, i can totally see the things you said here, especially with being shirtless around the league, i think he would be less shy bc of breast/chest and more bc he thinks he doesn't have a good fit body, but well dabi is half burned so he assumes nobody really cares about this

[torialefay]

Hi Toria, I've sent inboxes to a few blogs, but no one seems to understand and I am just at a loss of what to do or who to talk to. You don't need to post this, I just think you are really kind and would understand, so I guess I just needed to tell someone who could understand where I'm coming from.

Stray Kids new album came out, as I'm sure you know and while I will always support the boys, the 'I Like It' song left me very emotional. I guess it brought up feelings inside of me that I didn't even know that were there based on past 'situationships' I had where that was the mindset. I didn't and still don't fully know why I reacted the way that I did, all I know is that it made me really fucking sad, Toria. I started crying and I didn't even know why, all I knew was that the words hurt, even though everyone else around me was talking about how amazing it was and how they were dancing to it.

The blame isn't on Stray Kids for this obviously, but I feel terrible still. This is the only song that I have ever disliked from them and I feel guilty about it. It also made me feel a bit differently about them and I feel guilty about that too. But I know I cant even say it on my blog because I will get murdered on this app, or called a fake fan, or be called a baby for how it made me feel. I can't help that I feel this way or the experiences I've had.

I don't really know why I'm writing all of this. I am just rambling too much, I have a tendency to do that. Thank you for reading this. Maybe I just needed someone to do it.., someone who I didnt think would judge me. I hope you have a great day, Toria 💕

hi honey, i contemplated posting this just because of what you said at the beginning, but i wanted to make sure that you know i read it and am supporting you from my lil corner of tumblr.

it can be hard to hear songs that get an emotional reaction out of you, and it is only human to do so. i hope you never feel bad about that. just know that it doesn't have to even be through songs. it can be through random things people say, movies, etc.

i'll never forget, one day a group of friends and i were watching a movie together and suddenly one of my friends started to cry uncontrollably. in the plot, there was mention of SA and because none of us had experienced anything like that, we didn't have a sort of emotional reaction. but we learned that day that my friend had been SA'ed and then had those memories flood back in that moment.

although each of us left the movie unaffected (for the most part), i know that movie will always have a negative association in my friend's mind & be remembered as something hurtful. that is absolute NO fault of her own. and for a long time after that, it made me feel very thankful that i'd never had to experience something like that & that i'd be able to go through my life unaffected.

that's a very long-winded way to say: i am so sorry that you've had negative emotions come out of this. and you're right, that has nothing to do with stray kids. i'm sure it is hard to watch people around you love this song while it has brought back bad memories for you. being honest, it also gave me very mixed feelings because of similar reasons. but at the end of the day, i hope you can remember that it is a song and not reality. that may not help at all, and in fact, it probably won't at this moment, BUT hopefully in the future it will be something that can bring you more comfort.

i would genuinely hope that stay wouldn't be upset with you for voicing your opinion & i'm sorry if that's the feedback you've received so far from talking about it. please do not let anyone invalidate your own emotions. it is completely OKAY to dislike a song. and it is completely OKAY for that song to change your views on things. although i do think it is fiction and we should try not to associate people with these fictional scenarios, unfortunately, that's not always how our hearts work.

i'm so sorry for anything you've gone through for these emotions to be brought up. i know it's not an easy thing to go through. you have my support 100%, and PLEASE, if you need anything at all, hop over to my inbox & we can chat some more, okay? ❤️❤️❤️

[suenitos]

Yeah while i can get behind her point and i do support what hes trying to say im just so sick of people talking about a subject while (accidentally) showing that they didn't do research. Be it not enough of it or just straight up none at all.

It kind of directly goes against the point shes making about other 'bad' commentary yters because one of the staples of those channels is spreading either harmful misinformation on accident or on purpose.

Im ofc not saying that her uninformed inclusion of yters who act exactly like the '''bad ones''' shes talking about is the same as content farming channels lying on purpose but i cant help but see a slight resemblance.

Especially if it now makes everyone watching associate these yters with being part of the 'good ones' while they actually VERY MUCH are not that

Stuff like really makes me question how much research they do in general and if ALL their videos have the same sloppy attempt at it. Which in turn makes me stop watching them which is sad but also its their own fault 🤷

i suppose and you're well within your rights to feel that way! i understand. i think i kinda felt the same in that i again question his inclusion and how it will be received by the audience-- i feel like this could be more of an audience problem in that something something confirmation bias even if theyre missing the actual context in WHY he was in the section the creator put him in regardless of what she actually thinks of him as a person or cc, if shes a former fan or anti dream (unfortunately in a lot of cases one and the same) i dont know. we cant really assume intent there like many in the comments did in praising her for including him (even if again i have suspicions). at the same time the video was mostly about commentary youtube so of course his inclusion feels jarring even if its meant to be a supplement to the actual point of how youtube controls you and the algorithm/data dictates what you should do in your genre.

sorry for being devils advocate but also somewhat in her defense i never see anyone talking about the fact that doing research is hard because unlike dream its not lucrative or profitable to talk about tommys mishaps or mistakes, shitty things hes done and people hes fucked over. in the sense that none of that is well documented and as accessible if you dont know what to look for, or you dont have context. and if the only criticism comes from dream stans who dont have as much reach or platform (and who get shit on if they get attention because well who are you to talk) or those neutral normal people who think hes just an annoying kid (based) theres no incentive to actually internalize any of that because his "scandals" are never big enough to break containment or interesting enough to call attention to the exact channels shes talking about and we fucking hate. and thats WHY hes seen as "one of the good ones" too, even if WE know hes still a bit immature and a bit of a snake. but who is going to listen to toxic dream fans, or this rando 32 year old? they cant be trusted anyway.

while i do think people could make more of an effort with vetting people they include in their videos and i do agree even INCLUSION is unfortunately reinforcement for a lot of peoples belief in the tommy made it out narrative, we honestly do have to acknowledge theres an information gap with people not being aware of stuff because we dont consume the same information online all the time and there is inherent and at times progressively extreme bias in what spaces we do involve ourselves in. just as a rule, you know. parallel realities, rabbit holes and all that. people cannot let go of their parasociality! its a really really awful feedback loop unfortunately in talking about narratives that have a death grip the internet but if it is something like this in that you have no idea if this person is genuinely informed (or even CARES enough to gain multiple perspectives on things that have largely been kept IN the "niche" community, not everyone is chronically online) i personally try not to assume people have the same access to that information as i would as someone that understands parts of the space deeply and feels comfortable enough to be against those popular narratives. obviously the lack of attention to detail can be a symptom of a larger problem of not doing enough research, but in relatively unserious cases like this where i likely will never watch a video of this person's again im willing to hear them out on stuff i actually DO care about within the discussion, because there is enough nuance i can grasp something valuable out of it.

thats just me though, you dont need to agree, but theres a lot of things here that i feel were worth putting my thoughts out on !!!

[c0rvidbones]

hello I love your art a whole lot!! tell me more about Wit (he's hot and evil and I require more juicy details) and Ruby (his design goes so hard) please?

oh my god hi i did not expect to come back to 20 notifs. (/pos) youve given me a much needed ego boost tonight thank you. is it bad i cant remember having ever posted ruby art?? ive only ever gotten One comm of him which is a crime, my violent martyr son should rly get more love than i give him 😔 but thank you for asking! buckle up this is gonna be a long fuckin post ♡ everything under the cut including relevant character art

WIT

behold, all art of wit i have including one i havent posted here bc i never actually finished it and the wip of him being a silly giggly boy. pls know i came up with him like MAYBE a month ago. two, tops.

SO wit is actually a what-if au of another oc of mine, his name is doodle. doodle (seen below) is a very robin-hood-esque oc, honorable thief and kindhearted, swashbuckler rogue that dual wields rapiers bc hes insane. but hes insane in like a normal way. he was a horrible child but he did grow out of it and its rare to see him w his hair down so pardon me making him look absurdly pretty in that one.

as you can see there are some (but not MANY) differences between the two. kid wit does have the starry hands/peets im just forgetful dont @ me about it djdjdj

ANYWAYS so the what-if of the au that wit is, essentially, little singular things didn't happen to people in that au world. it goes like so;

wit: never met his childhood best friend when he was a freshly injured orphan. was alone from the (elf) ages of 0-16. ended up studying magic (illusion wizard) since he didn't have someone to lean on for that sort of thing.

laika (wit's mom): never truly broke out of an archfey's madness curse. stuck with a very twisted version of the spell Tasha's Hideous Laughter burned into her mind. everything is funny and if it's scary? even funnier. she died briefly. shes back now, but still madnessed.

perseverance (wit's dad): never saved his mother from a death blow in the be-all end-all fight to save his home. was held back by someone who he thought was a friend, killed that person and then ultimately spiralled so hard that he became a lich. may or may not have accidentally killed laika.

something something one decision can change your whole life, me and my friend loved playing with that concept.

okay now that you know a lil lore/history i can dive into what wit is like.

as a kid (drawn with the short megafloofy hair) he's very mischievous and bastardly, almost always smiling or grinning but it's more to lean into the uncanny valley effect his eyes cause than out of any actual joy or anything. he doesn't Blink and he knows it unnerves people because he also has a freakishly high insight (i think its like a +9 or smth??? at level 9??). he loves to come up with fucked up spells, like. for example i saw a silly post on here the other day that was very jokingly having a wizard cast a spell of "10000 bricks until you die" but then i was immediately aware wit would (1) come up with that spell, make it functional, and have it unfortunately obliterate everyone that gets hit with it, and (2) he would call it Wit's Bricks which i think is fuckin funny. he would also come up with spells of like. cause heatstroke. boil all fluid in your body. FREEZE all fluid in your body. he's a little freak with extremely low empathy for those he isn't connected to with blood ties. that said, he's kind to his family (albeit very blunt and will call them out if theyre being stupid) and inquisitive. he DID look his dad in the eye when he met him for the first time and went "are you dead?" which. again, hilarious, but BRUTALLY blunt. he then called his dad cool because yes his dad is now a lich and therefore undead. he's a little freak but he's still a kid and that is ultimately his saving grace, what small child isn't a little freak.

as an adult (long ponytail) i get a feel of him being aro and using romance as a way to manipulate people. he's definitely still not a good person and far more stoic than he was as a child. also he most definitely maintains a constant illusion to make it seem like his eyes are always closed, which lends an air of mystery to the strange elf that seems to always be standing right behind every throne in every kingdom of faerun. i say this because i like to think he would become what's called a King's Wit, which is like a combo of royal advisor, court mage, and "guy the regent has insult other nobility since insults are beneath the reigning royal". he uses all of that to his advantage, gaining the ear and trust of every single person of noble blood that is part of any royal or ruling court, and he will bend and twist their choices so subtly that they won't realise he led them to ruin until it's already too late. which is his ultimate plan. he's STILL somewhat a robin hood style of character, but he takes it a bit further and with far less kindness to the nobility. he guts their coffers completely and every hoarded coin down to the last copper inevitably will land its way conveniently into the lap of the common folk. he does take a healthy chunk for himself - did you know being a wizard was EXPENSIVE in dnd btw? i didnt until i made wit - but most of it is for the local citizens. he does this everywhere he goes if he sees that it needs to happen. fucker topples kingdoms For Fun, because he never gets caught or credited with the ruin he leaves behind himself. he's awful. he probably still comes up with fucked up spells and he manipulates his way into wherever he wants to be. i love him.

---

RUBY

behold! @polterpumpkin drew my (not very) little guy for me! this is part of a greater set but this is the fully coloured one and arguably my fave bc it captures the absolute batshit energy ruby brings to the table.

ruby is a tiefling that was born in a lab. voluntarily, his parents participated in a sort of study that wanted to eval why it is tieflings could be born to non-tiefling parents. (both his parents are half-orcs, interestingly!) he participated in it up to a certain point, before he got sick of being poked and prodded and Watched. that's when he demanded to be released and, when he wasn't, both his parents helped him escape, unfortunately leaving his other two tiefling-born siblings behind in the process. both parents Died helping him escape, and he was embittered as is by the whole study bs, and then to have his parents die Saving him? it left him with this sort of hole he didn't know how to feel.

so he fills that hole with every vice he finds agreeable. he drinks, he fights, and he drinks again. he's a drunken monk, and one full of unbridled rage and a death wish. he isn't my happiest oc but he isn't my worst off (that would be talisman bloodhunter). he's constantly seeking a grand and worthy cause to die for, literally. he's a wannabe martyr, because he doesn't think he has anything to live for. no lovers, no friends, no allies, MAYBE a coworker or two on the occasion he's needed (he is so not needed most of the time, because it isn't often any job needs an angry monk tief to glare around the place). he has just those two sides to himself - party animal and underground drunk brawler - because he doesn't want to think about the pain underneath them both. he's tragic in a very human way, hilariously enough, but he's not a bad person. even if he's being dragged by the tail to do a job, he's ultimately going to be helpful and he ALWAYS keeps his team alive. he'll grumble about it but he'll do it, and if you thank him he brushes it off, muttering something or other about how it's just his job, don't Thank him for that. i think having a friend would Fix him but fuck if i know what would get past his thick skin 😔

i dont get to play or write ruby really, not for any specific reason other than the dnd games im in have been going for So long, and that i havent really been super inspired to write him. but i love him! literally my car is named after him! i have so many feelings for him and i hope one day i get to play/write him so he can be more fleshed out.

[lagiacrus]

god i have to get this out somewhere or i'll blow up

musing on the f/f media in fandom drama/yaoi discourse/etc (it is not a particularly Negative post i am just thinking aloud)

i guess in my eyes. i think both sides have very valid points if you extend nuance to them.

like. one of the big argument points i see is

a) if you want more yuri content in fandom, make it yourself!!

i don't disagree with this! like if you need to eat you gotta make your food. but also... i completely understand when people express frustration at the amount (overwhelming) of yaoi content over yuri content (or even het content, which is what gives me the 'hmm!' reaction, will explain further)

like... i dunno! it is really a fuckin' bummer when a media with at least 50% female cast is just kind of turned into a Yaoi Pool, i think that there is a lot of stuff to discuss there in that a lot of people gravitate towards male characters more than female characters. i have experienced this! many people i know have! and that just makes me think like...

is the onus of this to be blamed on the people or the writers for being unable to create female characters that aren't completely pigeonholed into tired tropes and stereotypes?

i think the writer thing is probably the idea i agree with the most. but i do think there is also still like... an internalized disdain for women in general, and we see it even outside of this discourse, we see it in blaming women for being 'gross fujos' etc and only talking about yaoi etc. but that's a cycle isn't it? like. you can't win. if you like yaoi you're labeled a 'gross fujo' without any level of investigation on if said fujo is a queer person, without any concept of the nuance that comes with that shit. but it's also like... damn!! why only men huh!?

i have been a #yaoihead for decades so like... i have Seen this, for years and years, i'm not just some yurihead on the outside looking in or whatever, it is really apparent how much people just do Not like female characters, and it's so like... idk.

so much of it really is like, so much media out there has the weakest fucking girls on the planet in terms of writing, and it's depressing as fuck!!!! it's why i'm hesitant to ever 'blame' content consumers because like. idk. i agree, i hate certain tropes for female characters and unfortunately those tropes are the ones that tend to Sell Copies, so i end up gravitating to the more filled out male characters.

but when i see a media with like really well written girls and such and it's still super overwhelmingly Male Oriented in fandom, it's like... man. it's a bummer, and like. back to 'even het ships are on the wayside', one could easily argue it's because everyone is exhausted with het (rightfully so) being the prevalent media in society. but i also just... idk. I Do Think The Women Aspect May Also Be Part Of It! idk. i'm an agender lesbian, i am the last person to go to bat for het ships, but so much of it stinks of 'kill sakura off for naruto/sasuke to be real' but with new, social justice wording that makes it sound like 'good person' discourse.

i dunno! i dont. my view is just like... i love yaoi and yuri. all is good. but it is very much a bummer looking thru someones catalogue for a game with over 70% female characters and seeing only men and the only characters they only acknowledge are men... not even as a 'there's no content of women!' but in a 'what is so disdainful about women that they cant even get an acknowledgement' way, i guess. i dunno.

at the same time tho do not get me started on the overwhelming new presence of gold star lesbian people in yuri fandoms lol. 'if you like a yaoi ship or ship this CANONLY (IN MY HEAD) LESBIAN WITH A MAN you are an EVIL LESBIPHOBE (EVEN IF YOU'RE A LESBIAN) and should KILL YOURSELF' like yeah okay i guess so lol

i'm not trying to start fights or anything i just really think this whole situation calls for more words than 260 characters on twitter allows and unfortunately it creates so much fighting and aggression when it comes up because no one wants to sit down and actually think about what causes these things to happen. iunno. whatever!

[honeekyuu]

hey this is the shy anon from the other day that read through your ao3 and i just wanted to stop in and say to take your time and don’t let these anons get to you. i know you’ve been writing on your ao3 for a while now but your tumblr is literally brand new and i’m honestly at a loss for words that you’re already getting rude anons and people pressuring you to post more.

you seem like a really busy gal and i’d hate for demands like that to burn you out. you’re doing amazing and don’t let anybody be an asshole to you. post what you want when you want/can, i’ve seen far too many people give up on fandom because they feel like they have to constantly churn out content to the detriment of their creativity and passion. you’re so talented and based on the frequency with which you’ve been writing in the last few months it seems like you have a fire in your soul for haikyuu. i hate seeing it taken for granted and i just wanted to let you know you have support in doing whatever the fuck it is you want.

(feel no obligation to reply to this, just wanted to offer some support after seeing such atrocious fandom etiquette literal days into the life of this blog)

wow, i really dont know what to say--

i saw this as soon as you sent it in, but i was honestly super shocked that id gotten it, so ive just been sitting here thinking ab it.

it means probably more than you realize that you sent something so kind. i've been writing for a long long time now (both here on a different blog and on ao3), and it's true that i am very busy, because unfortunately being a phd student and running experiments and spending all my time running back and forth between my advisors and conferences and the lab means i have a schedule thats not really a schedule, and i can never really say when or what im going to be inspired enough to write, enough that i can pull myself out of daily burnout. i experience writing droughts often, sometimes lasting up to a year before i feel the urge to sit down with a doc again. and i have a LOT of half-written fics that have never seen the light of day, which i plan to get back to eventually but which, in reality, may never get finished.

ive gotten so much love and support over the years, and it's brought me back to writing every time. i love haikyuu with my soul, and i think about my fics almost every day because i feel a burning need to write them. if not for anyone else, then just for me.

but this blog is brand new, so, even though that anon i received definitely tops the list of unfriendly comments ive gotten over the many years of writing, i wanted to be as kind and accommodating as possible. because i dont want people to think im ungrateful and will ignore criticism, because no one likes those kinds of writers. but i am also a person, and writing is hard, so i think i will continue to do things my way.

my writing style is this, for anyone who'd like to know: i am erratic, and i dont have an upload schedule, because i cant realistically manage one. i have periods of inactivity, because life is hard, and i have periods of hyperactivity, because i love this fandom and the way that haikyuu makes me feel in a life that's full of terrible feelings. this may annoy some people, and i can understand that. but i cant force myself to write if im not in a place to write, and i cant force myself to stick to one fic at a time, because then it'll be clear that it's been forced.

im extremely annoying and unhinged and feral and i will talk about several different fics and smaus and text threads and headcanons all within the same breath. but i will always write what i love, so if you'd like to see work that is well-loved, feel free to stick around.

thank you very much to everyone whos been so kind in my inbox tonight, and i hope to see you all tomorrow <3

[transzilla]

tgirl user on this site like last december who calls herself a baeddal: i cant believe were getting villified for making jokes about force fem, let trans people live

the same tgirl seeing a few tboys experiment with a similar kink in the same way: uh dont you know the term autoandrophile was once used by PSYCHOLOGISTS to god forbid CALL WOMEN CRAZY? do you think women are CRAZY? also since we All Know being feminine can only ever be lesser and humiliating by liking forcemasc youre basically a woman hating sexist for not only viewing gender roles as black and white. Oh and since youre a trans man you clearly have not matured at all mentally or sexually beyond that one annoying 14 year old trans boy i still hold a gurdge over. Over theres butch lesbians in the forcemasc community? Well theyre okay because theyre women.

Alright well don't take what I said like that hahaha like idk who tf you're talking abt and I do see a lot of trans men bitching abt forcemasc. And cis women which is umm kind of special.

I understand what you're saying and inter community transphobia pisses me the fuck off but I mostly see the "men are evil and transitioning to male is evil" from cis women and these neofeminist environments mostly like i really dont think the heat youre experiencing is a tgirl invention. Like thats a cis pioneer lol

I do see a lot of trans women that are transphobic toward men and don't trust transmasc circles and like I understand some trans male circles have UNIQUE issues but like baeddel shit from tgirls... if I get tired of it I just turn my phone off LMAOO like this shit just does not fly or exist in real life

My whole thing is if you're gonna do the baeddel thing and hate men and say being a man is unethical whatever at least take care of your girls. Like I think I've experienced maybe one "baeddel" circle irl and it was in like a sheltered city bubble and it was just pretty normal transgender female drama like all these liberated queer people say they hate men and dickride them anyway. theyd just be dicks to trans men and dickride cis dudes. And they were even awful to other tgirls like you couldn't do anything and anger the fucking clique without somebody being like oh my god she was such a bitch like it really is ur own people LMAO but like I understand it just blew trying to hack it in those tboy and cis people spaces cus everyone was horrible to u for being transfem. Like they werent any less misogynistic. But then even in the transfem circle they also were not less misogynistic even if tgey talked all this shit abt men. transgender people are awful mostly because they're neurotic, it was rejection from other trans people that had these girls reacting with bullshit like that, I just don't want you responding to these wolf notes with more anger. Like let the fire die out. Please. Lol.

Dont read too much into internet drama especially, like this shit isnt real I think it gets so cutthroat cause a lot of people arent really trans or have trans communities outside of the internet unfortunately like the real world resources are not there and people are too eager to subsitute with tumblr. And I'm the same way like I'm a hick like my closest trans friend is a half hour away. Like just calm down cus if ur not calm ur not thinking.

[shkika]

I might end up taking u up on that offer this is so so soo fun

I really enjoy it when people make moon mad at fp..like how could she not be yes she cares about fp a lot but siblings don't exactly...do that to eachother very often I think (but maybe they do /j the woes of being an only child)

I think not being able to harm artificer did him good in the end (therapy dog!!) like he would have definitely just wanted to send that thing FLYING into the sun but he couldn't!! he was forced to just deal with it and eventually he realises hey. Maybe this thing isn't so bad... honestly I think he really needed something like that right then given his tendency to push people away (thinking abt how he BLEW UP srs' poor overseer. That made me jump actually i didnt expect it i sat still for long enough to get myself blown up too it was kind of funny...aside from the trek back of course) (ALSO THE ADS HELP thats golden)

Adding onto that like....him being a silly little loser that wants to do everything by himself and the like loving the attention etc I really think that like... the time period he was built in only made it worse??

Like......i feel that being built when he was added to a sort of pressure of needing to feel superior, to not be one of those bugs in mazes. To have something with like a genuine true path ahead instead of blindly grasping for answers

Like...I guess he'd want to prove just how good he is by doing it without any sort of help and he just has so MUCH to figure out by himself that he just...builds that pressure more and more and that's gotta be too much at some point

^^ I like the idea of the triple affirmative stuff happening like...around this point in time (forgive me if my timeline is terribly off) but anyways like..it kind of just fucks up everything for the dude...like all he's worked for is kinda just for nothing so then it leads to everything with the rot as like some sort of last resort. Like he knows the risks but he just cant bring himself to care like he's in such a vunerable state he doesn't think about how it'd affect moon until all of a sudden there's a forced message being sent his way, but even then I guess being younger than like everyone in the group he doesn't fully grasp like oh. This is as bad as it is. Until moons can comes crashing down and hes left infecting himself with the stuff

Anyway you are so very right with the echo actually I haven't thought very much on the shaded citadel but it must have...not been pleasant going through the rains knowing that there's so many others unaffected by it

Sorry this response is so late actually I've been multitasking to all hell but RRAGHGJ squishing the iterators in my hand like stress balls I am so normal about this game

please do! <3 ramble incoming

Moon being angry at Pebbles is fun. I love seeing different interpertations! Though I do think she doesn’t hold actual bitterness towards him in my personal belief.

The idea that she isn’t actually *angry* angry at him makes her very tragic to me. By all means she knows his actions are inexcusable. What she went through was horrifying and painful and she acknowledges that. Nsh even mentions she’s always had way too much patience for him and that she really tried to be a good big sister to him.

So as his big sister and someone who guided him in early days I can see her being unable to feel spite towards him. He fucked up, hes now sick and rotting and it all fills her with grief. It’s all just unfortunate and sad! (definitely see moon being a little hater with salty comments sometimes. as she does but most of her anger is reserved for their shitty parents)

Pebbles desperately wanting to feel superior is something really fun to me!! Absolutely see it! (idk why u went and became close friends with guy who called you dumb and naive but u do you 🤷 maybe u like that. likr OoOo hes the only one that listens to my theories and he calls me dumb <33) We know he learns about what happened to sliver from suns, so I can only assume that happened before he was made..? But the game is vague enough for u to hc it as you want honestly.

What he did was out of desperation for sure! He never wanted to even involve Moon according to what he says while commenting on a pearl by Arti. It was just kind of impossible.

I think what Suns told him just left a big scar on the poor guy. Not only is he being told he never mattered, he has to accept he’ll slowly break down and not even die while still trying to solve their issue he doesn’t even care about. He wanted the feeling of power over his own self back and he wanted to desperately escape. Feeling helpless is the worst.

He thought he could be fast enough and not harm Moon and then failed! He doomed her and got a very bad case of the rot ( consequences of my actions) ((another bracket but the poor fucker tried to cure himself all the way until arti campaign! sad!!)) along with his failure becoming gossip material and a sensation as we learn from spearmaster logs. Which is why I assume he closes all communications.

Also Moon forced many many broadcasts onto him while dying :) not only partly the reason why he failed the project, it also further cemented his helplesness.. because he can’t do anything to help! A common phrase you hear from him is “I can’t even help myself”.

It’s a little treat in almost all scug campaigns iirc.

Also echoes are all so interesting I love them and their silly little opinions. Shout out to the one who told arti to stop being such an angry bitch <3

[aroace-poly-show]

follow up to my last oc rant: im gonna cover weiss and jex here since im brain rotting about them again sigh

also i tried my best with the sort of worldbuilding dont come for me if its not great this was for fun

jex’s illness specifically was inspired by this fictional disease thing i saw on pinterest and im so sad bc i didnt save it so i cant link it FUCK anyway specifically it was heavily inspired by the ink cough one. essentially jex’s body pretty much starts to slowly fail on them. throughout the life of one affected by this, they’ll slowly become weaker and weaker, getting sick much more easily (and those sicknesses tend to affect them much worse), having more and more violent coughing fits, being unable to heal very quickly/properly/more prone to infections, and blood from any injuries gets darker overtime, eventually becoming black. a lot of people often become eventually paralyzed. nearly everyone who has it has their expected lifespan cut incredibly short. those rare people that live longer spend their last days pretty much suffering. (no one really knows what causes it, theres rumors that it was a curse from an old dead god, placed upon the world in their final breath.. 👀 hehe)

stress tends to trigger jex’s cough but its not ink its like blackened blood. while they do tend to cough occasionally just in general, stressful situations will trigger a really really bad coughing fit, its worse depending how distressing it is to jex.

oh, and i forgot to mention!! weiss also has a sort of condition!! basically whenever they have an injury that draws blood, flowers will bloom from them. these flowers often help the wound to heal faster than if they weren’t there!! weiss was always fascinated by this, and (!!!possible tw: sh!!!) !!!sometimes would get hurt on purpose to draw blood and see the flowers bloom. its pretty cool having basically blood flowers that help you heal faster...until its like an internal injury then theyre an absolutely fucking pain in the ass to deal with.

so, weiss and jex were childhood best friends. they’ve been best friends foreverrr (and now romantic partners <3) since the one time jex fell out of a tree like a foot away from where weiss was messing with mechanical stuff. how fun!! jex had pretty much hopped out the window of their house after their caretaker left their room for like 2 seconds to grab their tea (which they absolutely fucking despise). before weiss can even say anything jex is just like “OOOOO WHATS THAT OMG” and just. fucking grabs the lil mechanical thing weiss was messing with.

weiss got pissed off at first bc “hey who are you why are you touching my stuff??” but then was overjoyed at the opportunity to infodump about her machines and stuff. boom now theyre besties. weiss used to help jex sneak out all the time. jex absolutely loved weiss for this, she was helping them live their childhood and god they’d do anything for her already.

weiss learned why jex had to stay inside all the time but it never really hit her until she actually witnessed one of their coughing fits. jex’s parents flipped the fuck out and weiss saw the amount of panic from them. jex had always played it off as it not being a big deal but seeing them struggle to just fucking breathe really shook weiss. the next time weiss saw them she made a promise that she’d find a way to help her, no matter what.

jex just kind of went along with that promise not thinking it was gonna be a serious thing, but weiss took that promise very seriously. she started focusing less on her interest in mechanical things and focused entirely on studying to help jex out. unfortunately…it resulted in them starting to drifting apart. jex was kept at home more especially since there wasn’t anyone to help them sneak out. eventually weiss hears about this group working towards learning more about their world, pretty much just scientists. she hears about one of their goals to help heal those illness that keep taking lives and she immediately fucking joins. goddamn shes excited!!! she can finally help her best friends!!! if only she read the fine print…sigh

so the group she joins, fucking sucks. very unethical experiments and projects but uh oh!! it seems theyre working with the shitty corrupt people that have wayyy too much power for anyone to do anything major about. so uh oh!!! no one’s coming to sue their asses!!! how sad for these (non)human lab rats :(

weiss had no idea about it at the beginning until shes offered a higher position in an important project, and she takes it bc she was told theyre working on the exact illness that jex has!! so of course shes gonna take that opportunity!! but unfortunately shes gonna be even busier, and jex wasnt happy about it. they already barely get to se weiss, and now they might not see them at all? theyre kind of hurt, and feel like shes treating them the same as their parents did. not letting them live the life they do have, just focusing on trying to extend it. it results in an argument between them, with weiss storming out. weiss didnt really get it, why would jex be upset??? shes trying to save them??? the fuck is their problem??? but she brushes it off and goes to start her new project, yay...

shes totally having a great time until she finds out just how far theyre willing to go “for research” (theyre really just pretentious fucking assholes who are basically torturing people and using “but science!!!” as an excuse). girl witnesses them recruiting fucking CHILDREN for these experiments and nopes the fuck out. and steals a child in the process. oopsies!! (she returned that kid to their parents and told them to get the fuck outta here) unfortunately!! they dont take kindly to people who know too much leaving their little group!! especially ones that also steal their lab rats!! uh oh!!

so weiss goes to see jex in the middle of the night, scares the everloving shit out of them, scares them EVEN MORE after she explains her situation, and they make up really quick and go on the run together!! how sweet!! (they make up properly later, weiss said sorry like a million times <3)

nowadays they travel around under new identities (their current names are the new identities btw i just refer to them in the past with the same name for simplicity [*cough* i didnt come up with previous names.. *cough*]). they visit bars and jex often does little perfomances and magic tricks there! if anyone's up to it, jex'll have a little spar with someone as well. they get by asking for tips for their performances. they often move from town to town, but they're fairly happy together <3 weiss is still looking around for any leads on possible solutions to jex's condition though, its how she got to know dorian. they crossed paths once and dorian was more than happy to help with her goal!! jex is here mostly to just enjoy themselves with their beloved. <3

notes:

jex fucking LOVES spicy food. doesn't matter how spicy it is, doesn't care how much they always end up coughing afterward, they will eat any kind of spicy food they'll see at any restaurant. (weiss has to beg them not to eat too much otherwise they'll be coughing for hours)

i think about them alot to "if i could ride a bike" - park bird/chevy , specifically in a modern setting. i love them dearly

i ended up writing...way more.. than i thought i had oh my god?? pls i originally did them first bc i thought they had a lot less but..jesus fucking christ man;;

[nathank77]

10/24/24

7:09 p.m

I tried to do the voice hearer group cause I'm lonely and I wanted to potentially meet someone.

I'm nothing like theses people. I left randomly in the meeting. They are talking about entities and God speaking through them. The leader was like we don't talk in clinical terms.

I'm sorry but ITS A HALLUCINATION. NOT A ENTITY NOT A FUCKING GOD. I JUST CANT. WE MAY ALL HEAR A VOICE BUT IM FIRMLY BASED IN REALITY.

That's the sad part, the only people who would truly understand what I'm going through, are so fucking lost in psychosis, schizophrenia, bipolar, mdd or whatever that they don't realize how crazy they sound.

I feel like the voice hearers like myself that know it's an auditory hallucination don't exist.

We aren't the same. I can lead a normal life if someone would give me a chance and let me raise our kids. I'd be a great dad. Just deal with TV on when we go to bed and TV or music on in the background and we are good.

I havent been to one of those groups in months and i completely remember why. It's boring. Everyone is wacked. And God forbid I talk about how awful antipsychotics are and why I refuse to take them, then I'm offending everyone bc everyone takes them. Sadly.

Anyways, I need to find a group with normal people who don't think God is speaking through them. Like an ocd group. Or anxiety.

I can't sit through listening to someone talk about God or an entity talking through them. It's fucking ridiculous. Your brain is broken! It's a hallucination! It's a mental illness. Accept it and eventually maybe it'll stop. Maybe it won't but I mean it's easier when you go you're fucking fake and ignore the shit and shut it out.

I'm so different than everyone. I don't fit in with my own kind bc unfortunately they have lost their mind. And i don't fit in with the rest of the world bc I'm placed alongside the crazies.

[tronlightcyclerun]

ok yknow what Kin Gods please dont make me be m**** but also dont make me ***** either thats worse . if ive gotta be one of them then id rather be m**** but ideally neither please . and dont find something worse because im sure theres worse . theres always worse . just not either of those two please i cant deal with this bullshit . i know theres Something Going On but can it just be projection from my main source and not be to do with the timelines . please ?? please i dont want anything to do with ********** actually . like i know im a **** but seriously i dont want to . theres no way to have nothing to do with *** ***** and be a **** i dont think it kind of doesnt work bc theyre all in everyones business all the time ( and i keep we/us-ing them so i think ive gotta be in *** ***** unfortunately ) but like no joke i really dont want to . stop finding the most fucked up people ever and making me work with them this is so stupid