#under other circumstances
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howifeltabouthim · 2 years ago
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Yes, perhaps, I could have married him if I'd been a different person, if I'd had more courage, if I'd had more luck, if I'd understood something particular (I don't know what) about sex, if I'd become a god. But how much I love him and have always loved him and will always love him.
Iris Murdoch, from The Book and the Brotherhood
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 2 years ago
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me vibrating about albert meta while having my second coffee of the day, to the tune of shots: thoughts, thoughts, thoughts thoughts thoughts thoughts
#rusty lake tag#albert vanderboom#i have been pondering this orb since the backend of 2020 and SO MUCH has finally clicked into place and i'm just#MOTORCYCLE REVVING NOISES#[nicholas voice] i need........ to post...........#one of the most fundamental roots (badum tss) of his motivation for all the evil shit that he does is desperately wanting to be a father#from a young age#and paradoxically this includes his sadistic hatred of most of the children in his life#i feel like people tend to kind of gloss over both his trauma and his behavior with 'okay yes he had a bad childhood but also he reacted to#it the way he did because he's just EVIL and there's no excusing it'#'you're only allowed to examine how his trauma led to the things he did as an explanation but NOT as sympathetic'#and i feel like that's reductive for a lot of reasons; and one of those is that it erases the idea that the person who did the Inexcusable#Thing might be reacting in some reasonable and understandable ways at the heart of it; might in fact be acting on /admirable qualities/#under other circumstances#.......and how those things interact with not just their external situation; but their /nastier/ qualities#how those can turn inside out and become Jesus Christ Dude Holy Shit#and form the foundations for /more/ nasty qualities#and how the reverse might happen instead#even the best of us has some real ugly traits &#impulses to hold ourselves accountable for; & to keep from becoming a foundation for worse#how do you find those. how do you pay attention to them#how do you recognize the opportunities; no matter how small; to take a step back down the chain and work your way toward the perspective#that you may have lost in order to recognize bigger wakeup calls when you see them#what do you do when you've been airdropped into the wilderness a hundred miles away from that perspective from the start#and have to fight your way back to it#especially when you've been set on your feet facing in the exact opposite direction; and told to get a move on#and find water shelter and food while you still have daylight#how do you know that that place of perspective there in the first place; how do you that you should find it#albert is such a good character for this. he is SUCH a good character for this.#and it's both easier & i suspect less uncomfortable to just leave it at 'okay he had a bad childhood but EVILBAD STINKMAN NO EXCUSES
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leminaus · 5 months ago
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is it ok to be a little selfish
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themirepirate · 2 months ago
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was reading Sherlock holmes and this popped into my head
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gayofthefae · 4 months ago
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You know how I know Mike is queer?
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These are the same person. Mike is an inherently caring, loving, and protective person. It's what Will called out in 4x08 and reminded us of with Mike's desire and practice in attempt to be a "hero" and be able to help the ones he loves.
But when El tells him she feels unloved by him, he doesn't comfort her. At all. He defends himself. He doesn't even say "yes I do". He says "I say it". Even when he's arguing that he loves her, he is defending himself, not comforting her. If he was comforting her he would have reacted to her crying at all. He doesn't. He just becomes increasingly desperate and escalates the tactics that are making her cry more.
Because the accusation is that important to him. Not many things could be so important to him that he would deprioritize her or taking care and protecting and comforting those he loves. He even does quite well at it at the start of the scene. We have PROOF that he is pretty stable these days with any sort of accusation or invalidation with how well he takes "you don't understand" and simply asks questions without any sort of offense. So he CAN take it. He takes it IN THIS CONVERSATION.
But when she says he doesn't love him, he stops the "they just don't know you". He stops the "don't say that about yourself, you're lovable," which is what this is really about for her. If he had said that even if he couldn't say it himself, it might have still helped a little bit: frame it as his own fault if he can't. But he couldn't do that. Instead, he went with how it reflected on HIM that he couldn't say it and defended himself AGAINST her. FOUGHT her on it.
There are few things that can make him fight a person. And they've all actually been pretty similar. They're all El:
"You're prioritizing El over Will"
"There is something off about your relationship with El"
"You're prioritizing El over [Will]"
"He's right that your and [El's] relationship wasn't a good one"
"Your and El's relationship wasn't a good one"
"You're prioritizing El over [Will]"
"You don't love [El]"
He is comforting. He is kind. He prioritizes others' comfort and safety consistently. He takes other accusations fairly lightly and focuses back onto the person making them and their emotions. And yet, what does he say in those instances and only those instances?
"SHUT. UP."
"You lying piece of shit. You're crazy!"
"It's not my fault you don't like girls!"
"He's just some crazy old man"
"You're conspiring against me!"
"We're friends! We're friends!"
"You're being ridiculous. What is this?"
People who say his character has gotten worse are stating it under the idea that he is always like this. The entire discovery so many people, including myself, had that he's queer was because we noticed that his outbursts were consistent. People think he's random and angry because they think the situations are random: Lucas, Hopper, Will, Max, El. But they're forgetting to note what each of those people questioned about him right before.
The biggest proof is that he doesn't ever talk like this outside of these situations. It's lighthearted debates and empathetic conversations.
Mike Wheeler is a kind person. If he said "You're being ridiculous. What is this?" it is not just because he's scared of vulnerability or commitment.
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trappedinafantasy37 · 4 days ago
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"Minthara is so abusive to the player" *INCORRECT BUZZER NOISE*
Minthara would literally go to fucking hell for the opportunity to personally beat the absolute shit out of the person who actually did abuse you. She will throw hands with gods and devils just to avenge you.
And you will not be able to convince her not to.
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please sir can i have a housewife character whose problems are unrelated to housewifery
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uwo-kun · 2 months ago
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"So that's what his genuine laugh sounds like...?"
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boarcide · 3 months ago
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I truly think that one of the biggest tragedies in BEAST in regards to the Akutagawa siblings is that, at the core of it, Ryuunosuke viewed himself as a beast, and showed his love in a way a beast would, while Gin was the only person who ever saw him as human and judged him accordingly. She did not see a beast acting like a beast, the way everybody else did, she saw a human acting like a beast and it’s part of what drove her away.
The ADA saw their rookie detective at his worst, and watched—and continues to watch—him grow from a beast to a human over time. Consumed by hatred and only knowing how to be cruel, and slowly learning how to become human.
Gin saw her brother at his best—the best he could be in their situation—and then watched him grow from a boy to a beast within moments. The scraps of humanity that he had, all disappearing into rage so primal it no longer made him seem human.
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wilds-ponytail · 3 months ago
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Legend, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.
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anqelbean · 6 months ago
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The "Binghe fell in love with Shen Qingqiu because he was an authority figure and he has abandonment issues" jokes are funny and all, but my GOD if I see another person actually believing that's the whole reason Luo Binghe fell in love with SQQ I will go insane.
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mortellanarts · 5 months ago
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fandom sleeping on the most toxic yuri pairing in the entire series simply because they never spoke in canon smh
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autopsy-club · 5 months ago
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i see A LOT of sad chilshi posts about how ohh senshi will live so much longer than chilchuck!! it's gonna be so sad. YOU'RE WRONG. (unless the wiki is wrong hacks coughs). CHILCHUCK IS 28. GIVING HIM AROUND 20-25 MORE YEARS SENSHI IS 112. In chapter 51, it's said dwarves live 2.5x longer than tallmen, and tallmen live for ~60 years. This means dwarves live for around 150 years. AT MOST. ON AVERAGE. SENSHI WOULD LIVE FOR 13-18 YEARS WITHOUT CHILCHUCK. In my opinion at least, that really isn't all that long (at least not for senshi)
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outofcontextfossil · 1 year ago
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forget the dynamic between shadybug and claw noir, I WANNA KNOW THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN GABRIEL AND CLAW NOIR!!!!! IS GABRIEL NICE IN THIS UNIVERSE???? DOES HE LOVE HIS EDGY AND DEFIANT SON DESPITE HIS REBELLION??? DOES HE KNOW HIS SON IS CLAW NOIR?? DOES HE HAVE BREAKFAST WITH HIM IN THE MORNING??? IS EMILIE ALIVE IN THIS UNIVERSE??? DOES CLAW NOIR GET TO HAVE TWO LOVING PARENTS????
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wazzi2ya · 7 months ago
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Random Demon, holding Blitzø and Octavia bound and gagged behind them: I have captured your most beloved people, Prince Stolas! Now, only one of them will live to tell the tale, but it's YOU who must choo—
Stolas, without hesitation: Octavia.
Random Demon, releasing Octavia: Huh...well, that was fast.
Stolas: There's no choice, I'm always picking my daughter above anything!
Blitzø, having chewed through the gag: You better! I was seriously gonna kick your ass if you chose me.
Random Demon: I'm sorry, aren't you worried you're gonna fucking die?!
Blitzø: Nah, Stolas could've killed you the second you opened your big whore mouth, he was just buying time for me.
Random Demon: For what? You're completely trapped.
Blitzø, holding the handcuffs in one hand: Oh, this? I picked it like five minutes ago, just wanted Via to be outta the way before I folded you like a pretzel and shoved your horns up your own ass. *Lunges at them*
*Stolas and Via calmly leaving to wait in the carriage for him to be done having fun*
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hylialeia · 1 year ago
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you don't get it. she loved him once. she didn't have a maester, she had a brother. he sold their mother's crown to keep them fed. he said Dany, please. she loved him, once.
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