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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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Comfortable in New Skin
#wanted to give loop some like... vague clothes. since while they dont Need to be covered... accessorising is a human right#and boy do they need some of those. one can assume the only place theyd be getting clothes is isa though. so. ponder it#in stars and time#isat fanart#isat spoilers#isat loop#loop isat#isat#lucabyteart#SPOILERS TAG BECAUSE UM. CAPTION IS UNNEGOTIABLE. SOZ#anyway i do have Even More doodles on the way. primarily about loop. predictable. a lot of thoughts on the body horror of it all.#if you were to ask me. i think loops quote unquote skin is uncannily loose when pushed or pulled in any way#almost as if it were clothes covering the skin rather than skin itself. probably feels fuzzy and vague too. as for their head?#non-solid but in the way where theres a force pushing outwards. radiating you could say. yknow. vague. undefined. not quite real#but thats just my headcanon. tee hee
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#making a mental list of things i need to do and its OUUU... exam and project for next week.exposition and project for the one after. possibl#e exposition and project for the one after depending one my notes.. undefined date for another project... MY GOD......#art#my art#oc tag#furry#oc jackie
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3’s a Crowd, 4’s a Posse
Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (live action movieverse) | 15k | Read on Ao3
Summary: After coming back to make sure they all made it out alive, Shadow is subject to Sonic’s tendency to latch onto people who have tried to kill him.
Okay, like I said, this is my first time writing these characters, and I don’t really go here (yet,) so have mercy on me if the characterization is a bit off. I’ve wanted to write a fic for the movieverse since I watched the first one but I never did finish the drabbles, so it’s cool to have gotten absolutely taken over by Shadow and Sonic’s dynamic so I could write 15k of this. (Could have been more, but I honestly needed to stop before plot happened or somethingjKGLSDF) In any case, time for sleepover shenanigans and more! Enjoy!
Snippet:
Keep reading on Ao3
#KNOX WRITES (me)#Sonic the Hedgehog 3#Sonic the Hedgehog (live action movieverse)#Shadow the Hedgehog#tagging on ao3 is haaarrd#how do tag? I don’t know#there are no relationship tags that accurately depict what Sonic and Shadow have#they are the most undefinable QPR that I’ve ever seen#Sonic the Hedgehog 3 Spoilers#there really isn’t any major spoilers in the fic methinks but always gonna tag to be safe!#OKAY ANYWAY HERE YOU GO I’MA GO HIDE IN A SNOWBANK NOW
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@soulstagger New Chapter Starter
Grass swayed with violent intent as mid-autumn gales swept through the open planes that the pair found themselves in. The sun had been blocked by afternoon clouds that threated to blot out the sky with a sickly grey miasma that threated showers to come. Aesthetically fitting considering the other miasma that she couldn’t seem to be rid of beside her. Shades of violet peer back to her as the doll banks her head over to peer beyond her peripheral vision. She really didn’t need to do so. Ziatrix’s oppressive aura was strong enough to mark where she was at all times: Right behind her and ready to consume once Browning no longer…amuses her anymore.
Many nights have passed since the encounter that intertwined their fates together, many more till Browning could even move passed the purse silent treatment she gave to that beast. Try her might, she didn’t seem to have the resolve to just ignore her jailer any longer. Besides, if they were going to try and fulfill the conditions she had placed down on their ‘relationship’ she would need to coordinate clearly with this horrifying amalgamation of souls. Even if it’s leading her to an eventual end…
“…Don’t fall behind. We don’t have much more ‘til we’re finally there…”
Some odd kilometers left to go, at least that’s what she recalls from the last road sign seemed to signify. Shortly after awaking from the scuffle the pair had that night, Browning demanded that the two were to leave that dimension and continue travel some other place. She couldn’t stomach the idea of continuing from where two innocent people had been consumed only for the continued existence of that…thing. It’d also help not having to deal with the real possibility of being linked with the disappearance in some way. However, she’d be lying if she said it was more of a pragmatic choice on her part. She just didn’t feel comfortable having that kind of blood on her hands, even if she didn’t spill a drop. Partly the reason she also left all those items behind as well.
“I’d ask if you were tired and wanted to take a break…but I think we both know the answer to that question pretty well. However, I’m creeping onto my heat build limit and I don’t want my processor to throttle. There’s a level clearing coming up without much tall grass. Might be a good place to rest for a bit…”
Her sideways glance over to the short crime against humanity carried some scrutiny along with her words. Sure, she’s beginning to talk properly with her…’companion’ once again but that utter contempt still loomed over them like a specter. She just couldn’t move past the ugly truth beneath that human form. Tangible malevolence was real and it chose her out of everyone to hitch a cross dimensional hiking trip with. Just peachy…
#;> that old gal ( m1918 )#;> the last long mile ( undefined )#soulstagger#||: Honestly might need to make a shipping tag for this pairing considering its now pretty divergent compared to my verse#||: I'll get to it when I'm less lazy
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catfish sketch
#kewpie's art#fishwoman#fishman#<- the fish in question has an undefined gender i just dont know how to tag it lol
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Dya have any more headcanons for sampard?
Maybe ideas on how they fell for one another. Would you see it as an X fell first but Y fell harder or a flirting for fun but realising you've caught feelings?
Or have ya got an entirely different view on it! :D Oooooo. Do you perhaps have a timeline for how they traverse the "enemies" to friends to lovers stages.
Can you tell I love all your ideas and headcanons T-T
thankyou anon i am ghglg. im in love w u now. yes i have Many Ideas bout these two bastards like i have so many thoughts you cannot believe. like i have a post drafted where i write hcs when im bored and headin to class lkshglhg. heres some hcs
sampo falls in love first. very, very early in when he is new to the planet and is just drawing the attention of the silvermanes. It's not exactly some 'love at first sight' thing its more like the first time gep almost catches him sampo thinks 'oh he's cute' and a few times after that he's like 'wait im enjoying this. a lot.' and its downhill from there
whether sampo Realizes it is another thing tho. i can see him just enjoying the attention and thrill of evading the silvermanes and not realizing his disappointment when gepard isnt there is cuz hes infatuated w gepard.
but he Would realize it. at some point itd hit him like. why he enjoys the chase so much n lets himself Almost get caught. why hes memorized gep's schedule and where he patrols the most. and it hits him n hes like 'oh fuck. what the fuck. holy shit.... well anyways.'
(probably freaks out to seele over drinks but he's too incomprehensible through his tears n she has no clue what hes whining about)
Sampo flirts and teases gepard unabashedly, kisses grenades before throwing them into gep's arms, saying 'woah youre so strong geppie' while gep punches the wall behind him narrowly missing his face, leaves notes with lipstick marks on em at crime scenes, all that stuff.
but for sampo. it isnt supposed to actually Go anywhere. he knows he likes gepard more than he should and its kinda just to scratch that itch in his heart yknow.
sampo very much thinks that. gepard is the captain of the silvermanes, a wellknown and noble person in belobog, and sampo's a slimy secretive conman that just enjoys pushing the captains buttons. theres no hope for anything more so he might as well enjoy flustering the captain right?
gepard on the other hand. doesnt allow himself to really think of sampo as anything else but a criminal. it takes a long Long time for him to realize he even feels anythin for him
gepard does look forward to trying to bust sampo, though, in a sort of frustrated way. sometimes the front lines or patrols are so monotonous and sampo's tendency to appear whenever gep's bored out of his mind is impressive
he is insistant on arresting sampo and 'bringing him to justice' to an obsessive degree, though. he's not even typically assigned to investigating criminal cases but he has basically inserted himself into bein the lead investigator of any sampo related case now
(intelligence officers and detectives and other silvermane's are so used to it now. they could be investigating a house fire or a break in, find a note with lipstick marks on it and curly writing, and they all just sigh and call gepard.)
sometimes other worry that his insistence on arresting sampo and how dedicated to it is concerning. they ask why he hates sampo so much n he just says 'hes the most prolific criminal in belobog and needs to be apprehended'
(he cant say he hates him, though. for some reason. he cant figure out why he thinks about sampo so much. he just figures its to arrest him)
gep finds himself starting to relax when sampo sends him on wild goose chases n they both leave other guards in the dust. its probably not intentional, how sampo always seems to draw him away to somewhere quiet and secluded when his head is killing him or he's stressed or exhausted.
(its intentional)
sampo falls first, but gepard is absolutely the one who initiates.
i imagine it'd take... something for gepard to reconsider sampo and let himself think about sampo outside of his criminal record
during a chase out in the snow plains, just sampo laughing and taunting him as gep tries to hunt him down, they get bombarded by fragmentum monsters
sampo holds his own; he fights with a sort of viciousness gep has never seen from him. his bombs arent just smoke, but powerful explosives that shatter fragmentum. he's insanely fast and doesnt even break a sweat. but as soon as theyre all dead he pretends he's exhausted and that gep needs to carry him back to the city before giggling and vanishing.
gepard realizes that this whole time sampo has been holding back. he realizes that sampo could easily cut through the silvermanes, use his lethal bombs or easily outpace gepard and outrun him.
he starts thinking about other things sampo does; how natasha mentions he delivers medicine to him, how lynx sometimes talks about finding supplies and food in hidden ruins and obvious places around her camp, or the notes sampo leaves and how they sometimes give hidden hints about other criminal operations the silvermanes have been tryin to investigate.
he doesnt know what to make of it, what sampo wants or why he's doing this. the next time sampo sends him running through abandoned streets in belobog he slows down, realizes that sampo also slows to his pace so gepard keeps chasing him.
gepard asks point blank at some point, what in the hell sampo wants from him, why he's doing this. sampo doesnt know how to answer. just shrugs and says hes just trying to have some fun.
from then on gepard and sampo's 'chases' tend to... dissolve. sometimes gepard just sits down and takes a moment to forget about being the captain, to relax. Sampo acts like a skittish, stray cat who's ready to bolt until he eventually relaxes as sits by gepard too.
gepard collects all sampo's notes, all the fragments of his bombs with the hearts painted on metal shells, and keeps them as 'evidence' in his desk.
sampo pushes his luck constantly; as soon as gepard relaxes or gives him any room to get closer, he takes and takes as much as he can get.
gepard catches sampo, entirely on accident, when he's off duty. climbing out of a window or something. and sampo freezes but gepard just says 'hey i'm not working now, i can't arrest you.'
(they both know it's a lie. being out of uniform never stopped gepard before.)
sampo starts just appearing more and more around gepard when he's off duty, showing up walking alongside him like he's been there the whole time, or just 'passing by' when gep is in the florist's shop.
gepard leaves his window open. sampo takes the invitation and crawls in and strange hours when gepard cant sleep. he just sits on the couch or a chair or stands there like he is a foreign intruder. gepard just nods and makes him some tea.
when it would hit gepard, that he's in love with sampo and has been for a while, he'd just blurt it out. 'huh. i think ive fallen in love with you'. and sampo would erupt into flames and kiss him so hard his lips bruise
#sampard#in the bones#anon#do i tag this as other things. sure whatever#honkai star rail#when it comes to ships i usually dig a like. casual undefined relationship#where two people know they care and love each other and just fall into it#like no need for anouncing their feelings or asking to be partners#but i think w these two. gepard would absolutely need to say how he feels#like. sampo fell HARD and so deeply. but doesnt think he can ever have gep#this got very rambly and incomprehensible lahflskhg i have Thoughts
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live footage of me wearing school uniform
#i havent tried drawing gore since my popee era and you can tell#undefined blobby shape#sabitsuki#.flow#draws#gore#blood#idk what tags to use#poorly drawn gore#dotflow#i know the eyes are wonky i cba fixing it ignore it
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servant sun and redeemed eclipse au, anyone?
sunshine and solstice r my babies and i love them
REBLOGS APPRECIATED
#birdcage scribbles#shippin hour#sun and moon show#sams#tsams#the sun and moon show#servant sun#sams servant sun#sams sun#sams eclipse#redeemed eclipse#sams redeemed eclipse#sams sunshine#sams solstice#might as well make my own tags ig#saving the light au#sun x eclipse#kinda...#their relationship is complicated :)#kinda undefinable#but im putting that tag there bc it still fits
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#'BOSS AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SUBMITTED CLOWN WEEK CELEBRATIONS???#this can’t be true. the clown car fits so many infinite homies#i looked through the clown week tag and found only a painted mirror'#a COUPLE of people chimed in towards the end tbf but for most of it yeah it was just you lol#reaction image#reaction meme#daily reaction images#image mood: [undefinable]#submission
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The inspiration you get from other people making a playlist for your character full of songs you've never heard before is fun
I kinda liked the sketch. Also you can see how I casually was supposed to learn about Albrecht Dürer and I was just drawing gore (I studied at 1 am instead like a true melancholic)
#digital drawing#dswtd#undefined category (tagging is hard)#gore#kinda#i'm scared to tag things tbh what if people see them (i say as i post them for people to see)#actually coloured?
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Listen i think about keefe as little as possible but bodybuilders and folks you’d think of with abs usually don’t even have defined abs unless they’re dehydrated or restricting calorie intake or both so like do i think keefe could potentially aspire to have abs perhaps unhealthily bc he’s that type of character yes but canon keefe does not have visible abs and that’s ok
#kotlc#kotlc abs#keefe sencen#i don’t know how to tag this#i want to take this in the opposite direction and give keefe undefined abs#sighhh someone tell me to shut up#swan says a thing#abscourse
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18 posted works this year with 144,996 words!
#once upon a time I’d wake up to 100 kudos overnight but that wasn’t reached once this year#but the spaces were super dense and moved so fast so this year I actually created my first ao3 relationship tag#I think I enjoy a smaller audience or at least I enjoyed how thoughtful comments have been#im happy with the growth I made this year#I feel closer to the writer i want to be#(an undefinable unreachable thing tbh)#looking forward to what I create in 2025 :)#that’s so mads milfelsen#happy new year!
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The creator of Hazbin Hotel (who I know nothing about and *strongly prefer it that way*) simultaneously
A) Making a pitch perfect Tumblr Sexyman, then announcing they're aro ace, and
B) Announcing that Lucifer was the one who gave birth to the child, not Lilith
Will forever be the funniest shit I have ever seen. I'm convinced this is top tier trolling, and I love it.
#I'm saying this as an ace person#I will never ever stop laughing that they made the tumblr's Dream Boy and then announced they're essentially untouchable.#Fucking BLESS. this is the representation I actually want.#And the subreddit's reaction to the lucifer announcement...#Chef's kiss#Well played.#I believe it#I LOVE IT#And it's funny as fuck#That's right my guy you canonize angels having undefined biology#(I am again reiterating that I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE CREATOR AND AM UNINTERESTED.)#(DON'T BRING TWITTER HORSESHIT TO ME I DON'T CARE.)#Ooh here's a bold move... I'm gonna actually tag this.#Hazbin Hotel#Hazbin Hotel Lucifer#Alastor#Hazbin Hotel Alastor#Comment if you like girlies I am absolutely not listening.
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maybe if this series is crazy enough. mcyt will come back… with the most memorable posts just like before…
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Finally finished editing the latest one shot that suddenly became 60k so look out for the first couple chapters on saturday! I have no idea what the title will be yet, but it is once again about maria learning to accept love, who wouldve guessed!!! this time ft clint and laura being idiots
#its also technically blackhill but unresolved#why do i continue to torture myself with undefined dynamics#im sorry i just love a messy relationship that cannot be cut n dry#theyre hell to tag tho#ramblings#maria hill
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