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targaryenrealnessdarling · 7 months ago

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A Duet of Fire and Fate

Part Two | Series Masterlist

Summary: the monotonous days of practice are starting to grate, but made more complicated by the pianist's lingering words | Word Count: 4.3k~ | Warnings: sexual tension 😘

“Aemond, darling, please…” Alicent pleaded behind the closed door of his bedroom, her worried, motherly voice muffled through the thick frame, “it's not the end of the world, love, okay?”

He'd been in the exact same spot for several hours, his knee bouncing irritably and impatiently. He closed his eyes, as if trying to put on the image of being completely calm. But his hands were clasped painfully, fingertips sore from practice, and he could barely hear his mother through the door anyway, with the large headphones pressed to his ears, with the uncomfortable sting of the cello raking into his brain.

His heart was racing with stress, playing the same bit of ‘Cello Concerto' over and over again, trying to find the part where Otto had incessantly pressured him to perfect it. Wrong timing. Wrong tune. Incorrect finger placement.

Each time he stumbled over the same tricky passage, his frustration mounted. The melody was supposed to soar, but all he could feel was the grinding pressure to not mess up, to not let Otto down, to not disappoint his mother who believed so fervently in his talent.

Where in others, he witnessed nurture in the form of pride, loving gestures and unconditional support. He could see no merit in it. Love to Aemond was tight and oppressive, and weighty on his shoulders.

The door to his room creaked open slightly, and his mother’s voice, muffled and distant through the noise-canceling headphones, attempted to break through the barrier of sound. "Aemond, dinner," she called, her tone gentle yet persistent.

He barely glanced up, giving a slight shake of his head. The outside world, even the simple call to dinner, felt like an unwelcome intrusion.

"Aemond, please," she tried again, her voice firmer now. A choice of tone usually reserved solely for Aegon. "You need to eat. You’ve been at this for hours.”

Aemond cradled his cello gently between his knees, the hum of the ensemble drifted in the air, each musician fine-tuned to perfection with scales and snippets of melodies to practice. But despite this, Aemond found his thoughts elsewhere, his memories blurring into his current reality, where a new challenge in the form of the pianist had emerged.

With every draw of his bow across the strings as if he were an artist gliding a paint-slick brush over canvas, Aemond found his concentration fragmenting. His thoughts were pulled back to the pianist’s effortless expression, her ability to blend technical mastery with palpable emotion. A stark contrast to his own methodical, disciplined approach.

She irked him. She intrigued him. Two feelings which should not hold hands in Aemond's black and white reality. Every single thing his musical education had deemed secondary, she challenged. In the brief moments where he could witness her artistry himself, her performances always lingered, whereas his own, for all its precision, rarely achieved.

“Focus, Aemond.”

Otto's chide was soft and yet audible to everyone. It echoed a long and tired reminder of years past. And he found himself unable to pull back the glare that his own grandfather shot first down the bridge of his nose.

Practice ended how it often had, disappointed and dejected. He could no longer think of her or the words she'd said in their last encounter without feeling the frustration thud in his heart. After all, could the skills she so easily spoke about even be learned?

He longed to see what she saw, how she felt when she played.

The route back to Aemond's apartment was mentally tiring, and the frustration that usually ebbed away with every step, somehow lingered, and permeated throughout his body. For some time, playing the cello had not been met with accomplishment, now more often than not, met with a long and exhausting sense that he could be better.

That is what Alys had said as well, a few weeks ago, when she'd packed up the rest of her things, still pink in the face from Aemond's lips and tongue having pleasured her between her thighs to completion. The difference between her attitude and her parting words almost gave him emotional whiplash.

“I can't be the one to distract you. Not when you need to focus. Not when you have the opportunity to be great.”

Her voice was firm. And there was no room for argument or rebuttal. When Alys said something had to be how it was, that was it. Aemond had watched silently, scrubbing a hand over his face at the closed door of his apartment. He wanted to argue that if Alys had in fact cared that she'd be distracting him, her lack of presence would be just that.

How often now had he been sinking between her thighs, just to think of something else?

He never thought himself a sex addict, and yet the idea of going so long without it, with the show yet months away, made him angry to think how affected he was by it. This was hypocrisy the likes of his brother, Aegon, would love to shove in his face, he just knew it.

The stone square that choked the Grand Sept was speckled with light through the trees, rustling in a manner some would have found comforting. Couples kissed near the fountain, artists drew for money, set up with a view of the Sept while onlookers watched with joy, and children tripped and squabbled through the various nooks that had once marked the spot of a great dynasty.

This was where he waited, taking in the view and the gentle, somewhat melancholic lull of people's lives go past him without a blink. It was an hour before he'd have to traverse back the way he came for his personal booking, to practice the pieces he so desperately wanted to perfect.

During the day, his phone was off. Nothing was more important than what he deemed his life's work.

With a soft sigh, he sat on the wall, watching the square empty as afternoons drew in, his seeing eye following longingly at a brother and sister, who must have had the same age gap he and Aegon had, chasing one another on the cobbled path. Their squeals of glee and bright, happy faces stirred something heavy in his chest.

Had he ever felt as carefree as that. Had he ever felt like a child. Or had he been a grown man for so long.

His thoughts drifted to his own childhood. He would stand stiff and rigid at recitals, looking out to the expectant gaze of his mother, her burning pride gazing into him. There, there was no room for carefree joy akin to the brother sister chasing each other through the square. His childhood, if it could be called that, was dominated by routine and scales, not play and abandon.

He glances at the golden ticking hands of his watch and with a heaved sigh, lifts his cello case to trudge back along the cobblestones to the music school, feeling the familiar pull of responsibilities. Yet, something about the moment nagged at him, a sense of loss for experiences never had, for a childhood spent in service to a future that demanded everything.

With a heaved sigh and another trudge through the now darkened halls of his music college, Aemond pushed open the door, expecting a deep, sullen and wooden silence. Only to be greeted, or rather, whatever the negative version to being ‘greeted’ is, by the sound of the delicate, light twinkle of piano keys.

He watched at first with a sense of both unease and interest as she played, her face partly hidden by the locks of hair that had fallen between her concentrated brows. He couldn’t even really see her playing, but could feel the sensitivity of her fingers on the black and white keys, the piece melancholic.

Aemond willed the crease between his brows, attempting to feign disappointment between his awe.

“You’re in the room I booked.”

Her eyes pierced the darkness between the opening of the grand piano, searing a memory into his mind through her vibrant gaze. At first, she seemed surprised at not being alone, and then her features settled, and he saw the wrinkles at the corner of one of them that made it clear that she smirked at seeing his annoyance.

She stood and closed the lid with a soft thud, pulling her bag over her shoulder, “yeah well unless you want to try moving a grand piano?” she smirks, raising one eyebrow as if daring him to reply.

Aemond exhaled sharply through his nose, setting his cello case against a nearby chair, conceding the point without words.

“Didn’t think so,” she replied in a jokey manner, smiling down as she organised her sheet music into a neat satchel bag at her side.

While she wasn't looking, he found himself watching her, for no particular reason. There was something about the way she moved, the confidence she exuded even in the simplest of actions, that intrigued him. It wasn’t just curiosity about her attire or a superficial interest, he found himself wondering about the depth of her character, about the source of her fearless demeanour. If his stolen looks were not to see what she was wearing today, then perhaps to see if he could glimpse into her soul for just a moment, to see where she got her fucking audacity from.

He sat to prepare his cello, running his middle finger over the bow strings, the density of them feeling somewhat satisfying against his calloused tips.

“You’re not going to lecture me about how I need to… ‘make love to my music’, or some shit like that?”

She chuckled softly, a sound that seemed to resonate a little too deeply within him. “What you do with your cello in your alone time is none of my business,” she quipped without looking up, her voice light yet laden with a hint of mischief.

“Hmm.”

The air between them was charged with an unspoken tension, a dance of mutual curiosity and veiled interest. As she packed up her things, Aemond found himself unwilling to break the moment, his usual reserve shaken by her presence. There was something about her, a boldness, an unapologetic embrace of her own talent and identity, that challenged him, that made him question his own guarded nature.

As she slung her bag over her shoulder, ready to leave, she paused, glancing back at Aemond who was methodically preparing his cello. A thought seemed to strike her, and her eyes lingered on him, curious and considering.

"Actually, do you mind if I stay a bit longer to listen?" she asked, her tone casual but with an underlying sincerity that caught Aemond off guard.

Aemond felt a mixture of apprehension and pride swell within him. He was used to accolades and audiences, but her request felt different, more personal, more significant. His initial instinct was to guard his practice, a time he usually kept private, a sacred space where he perfected his art away from prying eyes. Yet, something about her frank interest, devoid of any apparent ulterior motive, piqued his own curiosity about how she might perceive his music.

He was so taken off guard, as he was so often by her, that he forgot to say anything and simply nodded. He positioned his cello, settling it between his knees, his back straightening as he prepared to play. The invitation was extended on his terms, yet internally, he acknowledged a desire to impress her, to validate his approach and perhaps, to challenge her own musical opinions.

Her posture was relaxed, but attentive, as if she at least wanted to offer him the respect of knowing she was listening wholeheartedly. As Aemond drew the bow across the strings, the first notes resonated through the room, rich and precise. He chose a piece that showcased his technical prowess, a complex Bach suite that required meticulous control and deep concentration.

As he played, he found himself increasingly aware of her presence in the room. Each note was not just played for the sake of practice but as a demonstration of his skill and dedication to his craft. He watched her reaction out of the corner of his eye, her expressions subtle yet revealing. She seemed genuinely absorbed in the music, her earlier playful demeanour replaced by a focused seriousness that matched his own when he played.

The last draw of his bow brought those guarded walls back up again, the same ones that usually came tumbling down when he felt that in the throes of playing, feeling as if he was alone, were so easily crumbled. When the last note vibrated into silence, Aemond allowed himself a moment to gauge her reaction fully. She had leaned forward in her chair, as if she wanted to see his technique closer.

“You play with such precision,” she almost whispered, so quietly he strained to hear them. As if the words hadn’t been for him at all.

He wasn’t certain how to place her review, negative or positive. And it aggravated him that even in her criticism, she was aggressively neutral.

"Precision is crucial," he responded, his voice steady but his mind racing. He ached to say more, but alongside fearing he would appear defensive, he was unsure whether he wanted to invite criticism from her.

She paused, considering his question, her eyes locking with his. "Precision is your strength, no doubt," she began, her voice gaining confidence as she spoke. "But music, at least to me, also needs to breathe, to have a life of its own beyond the notes on the page. Your playing is impeccable, but it feels tightly controlled, almost constrained."

He quashed the rising irritation, or at least as much as he could, forcing himself to consider her words from a place of growth rather than confrontation. "So, you're suggesting I let go a little?" he asked, watching as she smiled at his confusion.

“Maybe,” she said lightly, “allow it the freedom to surprise you. Control you. You might find you like it.”

He couldn’t help but dissect the slight flirtatiousness in her voice. And yet it was almost gentle, a stark contrast to the sharpness he was accustomed to in such discussions.

She broke the silence that seemed to bulge between them, “do you like it?”

His mother watched him eat, her gaze laden with a mix of pride and concern. The clink of cutlery filled the brief silences as she finally found the words.

"Do you enjoy it, Aemond?" she asked, her voice soft yet carrying weight. "The cello, I mean. Do you actually enjoy playing?"

Aemond paused, his fork suspended in mid-air. It was a question that had lingered at the edge of his consciousness, unvoiced and unanswered. Did he enjoy it, truly? Or had it become merely a vehicle for his ambition, a pathway that he had been set upon rather than one he had chosen?

"It sometimes feels like the only thing I know how to do," he admitted, and for someone so often so sure, his voice wavered.

His mother’s hand reached across the table, her touch warm against his. "Music should be a source of joy, not just a pursuit of perfection," she reminded him gently. "It’s a gift, Aemond, meant to be cherished as much as honed."

Aemond paused, the question catching him off-guard. "Do I like what?" he asked, unsure if she was referring to her suggestion or something more implicit.

She bit back a small smile, and yet it still wormed its way onto her face, “losing control.”

Her question, laced with a hint of playfulness, hung in the air, and Aemond found himself momentarily lost for words. He was unaccustomed to such directness wrapped in…flirtation?

“Losing control?” he repeated, his mouth feeling a little dry.

“Mmhm,” she hummed, “you hold the reins so tightly. Might be liberating to loosen…or even let go, once in a while?”

The atmosphere between them seemed to thicken, the words ‘losing control’ echoing not just through the room but through Aemond’s thoughts, disrupting his usual composure.

Aemond shifted slightly, the concept of loosening his grip, both metaphorically on his music and literally in his life, seemed to resonate deeper than he anticipated. "And you think that's something I need?" he asked, his voice lower, the hint of a challenge lacing his words.

She didn’t move an inch, but her presence seemed more pronounced. The subtle scent of her perfume mixed with the mustiness of the old practice room created a contrast that was oddly intoxicating. "Isn't it?" she countered softly, her gaze steady on his.

The air between them was palpable now, her every word pulling at something he usually kept well guarded. His heart beat a rhythm almost too pronounced, mirroring the tension that seemed to pulse through the space.

Clasping her bag closed, she stood, "Music is about feeling, about passion. It’s not just the notes, but the spaces between them, the breaths, the moments of surrender.”

Aemond’s response was caught in his throat as he absorbed her words, her proximity, the undeniable tension that seemed to dance around them like the very music she spoke of. How the hell did she do that?

She allowed herself a cheeky smile, one that reached her eyes so quickly that with those alone he would know she was amused, “maybe you should surrender to it sometimes.”

A part of him wanted to dismiss her words, to reinforce the walls he had built around his methods and beliefs. After all, she was the face of his competition, a symbol of the school he had been conditioned to outperform. Yet, the way she spoke about music, with such a raw, inviting passion, made it impossible to ignore the pull he felt towards her ideas, towards her. The rivalry was supposed to be clear-cut, a battle of schools and skills. But with her, it blurred into something messier, charged with an undercurrent of something he couldn’t quite name but felt all too powerfully.

It was a dangerous mix.

To admit she affected him would mean opening a door he was adamant to firmly keep shut tight. One that could lead to complications. Not even in terms of the competition. But for his prized discipline. She watched his expression to her words closely, her eyes reflecting a glint of knowing. He desperately wanted to hate her for it. To remind her that she was no better than him simply because she wasn’t plagued with the need for perfection like he was. That she, beyond the walls of the music school she seemed to haunt, could leave her instrument within them. Whereas Aemond was forced to carry his cello on his shoulders, to support its heavy toll on him, and that every step he took, it took more.

It seemed like she was going to say more, as her lips parted. But as quickly as they did, they closed softly again, and that enigmatic smile returned.

Fuck her.

When Aegon had been in his early twenties, he’d moaned and groaned on the sofa, his phone slobbed to one side, complaining that the girl he was currently texting was verbally edging him. Aemond had merely grimaced, finding his brother's frustration more amusing than relatable.

But now he felt that aggravation of it. The fact that she knew he was hanging on every word, and still chose not to say anything, to leave thoughts dangling in the charged air between them.

She gave him a final nod, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken words and tensions that lingered, then turned and walked away. It was only when she was halfway down the hallway that the perfect response sprang to his mind, but by then it was too late. All he could do was watch her retreating form disappear into the dim, wooden corridor.

In that moment, Aemond felt like a modern-day Eurydice, fading into the shadows, but with a twist, this time, Eurydice longed for Orpheus to look back. Aemond knew that if she turned, if she offered him one last look, it would mean stepping back into a narrative filled with complexities and perhaps inevitable loss. Yet, he craved that backward glance, a sign that their fleeting connection meant as much to her as it did to him, even if it meant returning to the shadows.

Aemond tried to refocus on his practice as he returned to the solitude of the music room. He played mechanically, his usual precision present but the soul of the music notably absent. The strings didn't sing; they just spoke in monotonous tones. With more than half of his allotted practice time remaining, he packed up his cello, and resisted the urge to hurl it across the room.

Driven by a need for something more tangible, more human than the cold wood and strings of his cello, Aemond left the practice room abruptly.

No more than 15 minutes later, he stood at the smirking figure of Alys Rivers, leaning against her door frame, arms crossed and wearing delicate lacy sleepwear, as if she could supernaturally anticipate that he would come to her.

Her eyes gleamed with a mix of amusement and satisfaction, seeing him slightly dishevelled, a rare break in his usually composed demeanour.

“I don't want to fucking hear it.”

Alys, unfazed by his sharpness, raised an eyebrow and smiled wryly, stepping aside to let him in. Her reaction was more teasing than concerned, her amusement clear in her casual posture.

"Where?" Aemond's voice was blunt, his usual grace undercut by a barely contained frustration.

"The bed," Alys responded with a flick of her head toward the bedroom, her smirk deepening as she watched him stride ahead.

As he passed her, she couldn't resist adding, "Need some instructions, or do you remember the way?"

Aemond didn't respond, his back to her as he moved into the bedroom. Alys followed at a leisurely pace, her demeanour confident, almost cocky. She leaned against the doorframe, watching as he shed his jacket with quick, jerky movements.

Alys pushed off from the doorframe and walked over to him, her steps deliberate. "Something's happened-," she said, reaching out to smooth the crease between his brows with her thumb, her touch light but insistent.

He caught her wrist, his grip firm. "I said I don't want to fucking hear it," he retorted, his voice low and strained.

Alys met his gaze, her expression partly unreadable. "Okay," she conceded, pulling her hand back gently. She gestured towards the bed. "Show me what you need.”

As Alys led him toward the bed, Aemond followed mechanically. His movements were automatic, driven by habit more than desire. Pulling her hips towards him and slinging her legs over his shoulders was like second nature at this point. Alys was warm beneath him, her body responding in all the familiar ways, her breaths, her touches, her sighs all scripted from past encounters. Yet, as Aemond moved with her, his mind was elsewhere, disengaged from the act.

The room was silent except for the soft rustle of sheets and the muted sounds of their closeness, but inside Aemond, a storm was brewing. The physical motions were all correct, but the emotional undercurrents were misaligned, leaving him feeling even more isolated as they moved together. Alys seemed not to notice, or if she did, she chose not to address it, caught up perhaps in her own interpretation of their actions.

Afterward, as Alys settled beside him, her breathing even and content, Aemond lay awake, staring at the ceiling. She was close, yet he felt miles away, trapped in a cycle that provided physical release but no real solace.

Sensing his detachment, Alys’ voice broke through the silence, “you okay?”

Aemond didn't answer. Instead, he gently disentangled himself from her and slid off the bed. His movements were smooth but distant, as if he was pulling away from more than just the physical proximity, leaving the bedroom without so much of a backward glance at Alys, barely wounded from his dismissal, naked in bed. Alys watched him go, her expression resigned. She remained silent, making no move to follow him or press him further.

In the living room, Aemond walked straight to the mini-bar and poured himself a drink, his hands mechanically tilting the bottle, the familiar clink of ice soothing his frayed nerves. He took a deep sip, letting the liquid burn down his throat, hoping it would wash away the disquiet clinging to him.

As he turned, his gaze fell on the grand piano sitting under the low light in the corner of the room. It was an elegant piece, one that Alys had long forgotten, now sitting idly and out of tune. The dust gathered in its crevices spoke volumes of its neglect, a stark contrast to the careful maintenance of instruments at his own school.

The piano, much like himself tonight, felt abandoned, left to stand as a mere piece of furniture rather than the vibrant instrument it was intended to be. Compelled by a sudden urge, he approached it, his fingers running along the cool, smooth surface of its keys, each one silent and stiff from disuse. Aemond pressed a key tentatively, listening to the dull thud that echoed back, as if to taunt him.

For a brief moment, he considered the task of tuning it, of bringing it back to life. It seemed a fitting metaphor for what he needed himself, a realignment, a correction of the discord that had crept into his own life and art.

As Aemond's fingers wandered across the piano keys, his thoughts meandered back to the pianist from the opposing school. She had described music as a living entity, one that breathed and moved, pulsating with the emotions of its player. This concept lingered in his mind as he contemplated the neglected piano before him. He wondered how she would react to such a forlorn instrument. Would she feel compelled to restore it, to draw breath back into its worn frame and let it sing once more?

Just as he secretly hoped she might rekindle something within him, a spark long subdued under the weight of discipline and expectation.

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daydreamer-in-reverie · 5 months ago

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I want to put focus on how significant parents are in the Hunger Games franchise, most especially on the role a parent has in shaping their child’s psyche and I want to do this by using Katniss, Peeta and Snow as reference.

In the books and the movies, parents are more or less background characters. We truly only see glimpses of them. Both of Peeta’s parents are alive yet we rarely see them featured prominently in the books/movies. Both of Snow’s parents are dead and we only get to hear of them in passing and while Mrs. Everdeen is alive, she’s often relegated to the background because of how dismissive Katniss is towards her mother.

Yet these characters and the very essence of their beings are shaped by their parents.

Beginning with Katniss, we saw how deeply her father’s death wounded her. He was their provider, the sole person responsible for bringing food onto their table. We know how deeply he was loved by his children and his wife and how beloved he was by the other citizens of 12 by Katniss’ stories. Mr. Everdeen was a well known figure in the Hobb and Katniss firmly believed that it was because of him that people took pity on her and allowed her to bargain with them. It was his death that served as a catalyst to Katniss’ journey to becoming a Victor. Without his death, without Katniss being forced to hunt to serve her family, she wouldn’t have made it out of the arena. To Katniss, her father was the hero deserving of being placed on a pedestal and it was his values and actions that she tried desperately to emulate to protect her family.

On the other hand, Katniss scorned her mother. She hated Mrs. Everdeen’s inaction when she spiraled into a deep depression after her husband died. And though it wasn’t Mrs. Everdeen’s fault, I can’t blame Katniss for feeling this way about her mother. She and her sister were near the brink of death by starvation on the day she met Peeta. Even when Mr. Everdeen was alive, Katniss was partial to her father because he stoked the rebellion in Katniss’ heart while it was her mother who tried to stop it. Katniss perceived her mother’s depression as a weakness and even after she got better, Katniss was determined to keep her at arms length. The love she felt for her mother may have been unconditional but she constantly put her mother under the test. Waiting to see if she would disappoint her, fail her by abandoning her once again. And when Prim died and Mrs. Everdeen left for District 4, Katniss’s unconscious bias against her mother was once again reaffirmed.

It’s why Katniss struggles to form a good bond with motherly characters like Effie but maintains relatively good relationships with fatherly figures like Haymitch and Cinna. Katniss openly admits that of the two people who guided them throughout the Hunger Games, it was Haymitch she was most alike. They grew up at the Seam, and shared similar features and she was adamant that should she have been forced into becoming a mentor like Haymitch was, she was looking at what her future would have looked like. Drunk and continuously intoxicated like Haymitch was.

On the other hand, we have Peeta.

Peeta was routinely abused by his mother. While we don’t know the full extent of what it was he had to endure, we know that it wasn’t a pleasant experience. Peeta’s mother took pride in the knowledge that District 12 would finally have another Victor, and she wasn’t referring to Peeta. We saw him take a beating to feed Katniss and whatever relationship Peeta had with his father was practically nonexistent. It was his mother that served to be the looming presence in his life the same way Katniss’ father haunted her. It’s why I believe Peeta got along so well with Effie and why Effie likely preferred Peeta over Katniss. Aside from the fact that Peeta was so much more civil to Effie than Katniss was to Effie, Peeta always deferred to Effie. He and Effie are similar in the same way Katniss and Haymitch are similar.

Peeta was characterized to be of the merchant class, the “upper” class of District 12. As a given, Effie is from the Capitol, the upper crust of Panem. It was Effie who provided Katniss and Peeta with the script necessary to ensure their survival after the 74th Games and in return, Effie knew how effectively a person’s image and reputation could mean life and death in the arena and in this, Peeta is in agreement. While Katniss may have used a bow as a weapon, Peeta used his words. He always knew the right things to say and do to get people to side with him, so much so that he managed to convince the careers of the 74th Games, his biggest enemies in the arena, to ally with him. Had anyone else been in his situation, they would have been killed. Peeta craved Effie’s maternalism the same way Katniss craved Haymitch’s paternalism because these were the things they lacked growing up.

And then there’s Coriolanus, who lost both his parents and it is both of these parents who haunt him. His mother, described to be beautiful and kind, was represented by the powder compact he kept with him constantly. His father, harsh and cruel, represented by the handkerchief that Snow kept with him.

In TBOSAS, Snow has two mentors himself.

Dean Highbottom and Dr. Gaul.

It’s not lost on me that in them, the characterization of the two are reversed from Snow’s parents. Highbottom, like Snow’s father is stern and harsh. He is Snow’s biggest critic and while I doubt Mr. Snow would go so far as to hate his own child, he would not have been kind to Coriolanus had he lived past the war. Yet Highbottom and Mr. Snow’s similarities end there. Because of Highbottom’s remorse and the kindness that he showed Lucy Gray after she won the Games, he takes after Snow’s mother in that regard. He is compassionate and filled with horror at the abomination he created.

On the other hand, Gaul treats Snow with a gentleness that Highbottom never had for him. Though Snow finds Gaul creepy, it is Gaul that takes him under his wing. It is Gaul who stitches up his wounds after he is attacked in the arena and retrieves Sejanus and Gaul who praises him for his ingenuity at suggesting the sponsoring system. Gaul genuinely likes Snow and begins grooming him to become her replacement in the event that she dies. But while Gaul may have been a woman with the capacity for gentleness, she is a terrible human being who threw children into the arena to fight for their survival. She is the same woman who hung a child for running away from the games and paraded the corpses of children on the streets of the Capitol. She is pure evil. She is exactly like Snow’s father.

It isn’t loss on me that Snow, who has an abundance of maternal figures in his grandmother and Tigris, chooses to take after Gaul, who is externally like his mother but internally like his father, rather than Highbottom, who is the opposite.

At every instance Snow had to do good, to choose to do the right thing and be like his mother, he intentionally continued to do the evil thing for the sake of his selfishness and be like his father.

“You look just like your father, Coriolanus.” Were the words Tigris used to describe him at the end of the movie because that is precisely who he chose to become.

And as Snow poisons Highbottom and becomes a gamemaker under Gaul’s tutelage, he kills whatever remnant of his mother he had left in him, fully embodying his cruel father’s ideals.

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nous-teleios · 2 months ago

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I've seen some people online post about how men shouldn't worship feminine goddesses, and how women shouldn't worship masculine gods, and I just wanted to post a rant on here giving my thoughts and debunking this take.

So, basically, the idea is that goddesses such as Juno, Venus or various goddesses that fall in the mother goddess group should not be worshipped by men, because they preside over things which are exclusive to women, and which men can't metaphysically relate to.

The issue is that these goddesses preside over aspects of everyone's experience. Venus, for example, is the goddess of beauty and love. Is a person of either gender somehow unable to relate to these ideas?

As for the mother goddesses, to deny any group of people, the worship of mother goddesses would basically deny their nature. They are universal mothers, and as such, this group of deities is the most open and accepting of worshippers of different kinds. A mother loves all her children equally, and is equally willing to help them all.

Even in incredibly masculinity centred religions such as Christianity, mother goddesses such as Mary are widely worshipped because of this motherly quality of universal and unconditional love.

In pagan spaces, I often see people reducing various deities to glorified vending machines that give out specific kinds of things in response to prayer or ritual. The Gods are not simply sky people who give gifts to people who say the right words. We owe them unconditional love, even to ones we feel like we can't relate to, because that is the first step in our awakening. Realising that everything in our reality is spiritual and that the spiritual/material dichotomy is a false one is the most important breakthrough.

To learn to see and appreciate the influence of a blacksmith god in your daily life, or of a childbirth goddess is a good way to start this process. Don't reduce deities to their gender, and be wary of anyone trying to push for this rigid division.

#rant #paganism #hermetic #hermeticism #pagan #witchblr #hellenic pagan #witchcraft #hellenic polytheism #norse paganism #occult #pagan witch #witchcore #witches #goddess #metaphysics #gender ideology

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lua-magic · 11 months ago

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D9 Chart and desires of your past life .

Seventh house of D9 chart shows, what qualities you expect in your soulmate (subconsciously) and how it is going to manifest in real life.

Check your D9 chart and see which planet occupies your seventh house, if house is empty check who is the lord of the seventh house.

Sun 🌞 in seventh house or Lord of seventh House 🏠

Sun is debilitated in seventh house, so person with seventh house sun wants soulmate who has leadership qualities, bold, smart, extrovert. He wants to be recognised by his soulmate, and wants everyone to think highly about his soulmate as sun is bright, so he/she also expects his/her partner to shine like sun every where.

Such person could get angry or irritated when his/her soulmate doesn't act according to his/her expectations, and that is what becomes the problem. Native could be controlling in nature and has ego issues with his/her soulmate. Native should learn to be humble in relationship.

Moon in seventh house 🏠

Moon in seventh house, or lord of seventh house natives desires soulmate with emotional connection and nurturing or motherly in nature, they have unconditional love towards their partner.

The problem here is that, they become so emotional in love, that they sometimes can't see the red flags, and get cheated or feel betrayed.

You have to learn little logical and pay attention to details as well.

Mercury in seventh house or Lord of seventh house 🏠

Mercury is logical planet, and quite selfish as well, that is why Mercury is responsible for business.

Native would be devoted and love partner, but has conditions applied.

Such natives seek good communication and adventures or lot of fun and play in relationship.

Mercury sees it's own benefits first, so, here native would be calculative in love and wants soulmate who could benifit him/her.

Problem here is that, sometimes they become so perticular about the qualities of partner, that they find it difficult to find someone who matches their expectations, or even if they find one, they won't be satisfied fully as they feel partner is not matching 💯 of their expectations, more over they can get bored easily in relationship if they find relationship has nothing new to offer.

Venus In seventh 🏠 House

Venus is all about beuty especially your looks, so here native desires partner who are beautiful and senseous, someone who could please their senses.

Problem is that, they go for external beauty so much, they ignore the inner beauty and character of a person and and later they regret or be unsatisfied in relationship. So, here you need to see the compatibility and values as well.

Mars in seventh 🏠 house or seventh Lord.

Such natives get attracted by physical features alot, they desire partners with good body features. Such natives

If Mars is not aspected by Jupiter or Saturn here native would be insecure in relationship as well, and that could become the cause of anger or frustrations in relationship.

Rahu in seventh house or Lord of seventh House 🏠

Rahu in seventh house natives are quite innocent in relationship, they fall in love easily, and trust people easily.

Rahu also makes you insecure in relationship. Issue, is that, rahu attracts karmic partners easily, so they get heart broken and later develops trust issues and feel insecure.

Here, native won't be knowing much about relationship in early state but with heart breaks they learn alot later in their life.

Such natives trust easily what others say and that sometimes backfire.

So, here, it is better you observe the person carefully before committing in a relationship and take your time, don't rush the process or jump into romantic relationships quickly.

Such natives also get attracted to people outside their cast and culture easily.

Ketu in seventh house or seventh Lord.

Here, native would be extremely obsessed with relationship initially and would be having great and illogical expectations just like fairy tale, later in life they get detached from relationship because they understand relationship is not fairy tale but we also have to be logical and has human expectations from people.

Such natives also attracts karmic partners, and they experience great pull towards their partners and force to believe in soulmate concept but later in life with the same person they get detached and lebel them as their karmic partner..

Such natives believe alot in soulmate, karmic partners because, they believe that their soulmate would complete them, and then they will live happily ❤️ ever after but later get disappointed.

Hence, intially itself start noticing all the red flags and don't jump, don't rush but take it slow and let relationship progress with time, so give your relationship time..

Mars, Rahu and ketu makes you insecure in relationship and hence native reacts quickly or agressively sometimes which becomes problematic in relationship.vSuch native should learn to develop patience in relationship and be more grounded and humble.

Rahu and ketu or retro planets in seventh house attracts past life relationships easily. Hence, native are advised to take their relationship slow and learn to observe and don't jump on conclusions fast, otherwise they will suffer heart breaks and educate yourself more on relationship..

Saturn in seventh House 🏡 or Lord of seventh house

Saturn is exalted in seventh house, now such natives actually serve their partner.

They take care of them, in all aspects but as Saturn is cold and dry planet they will have that cold attitude towards their partners and think partner knows about them and will come to know without them expressing it.

Problem here is that sometimes they become so non expressive and cold towards their partners that it becomes problem in relationship.

Saturn here will make you work alot for your partner and you would be loyal and devoted, but native should understand here, woman needs husband and not the servent similarly man needs wife and not the maid in relationship. Saturn here loves to follow all the ethics and rules of relationship and be selfless towards their partners.

So, learn to express emotions in relationship.

Such natives desires partner who is matured and responsible, and takes their work seriously.

They have serious attitude towards relationship hence, they get partners who are matured or more in age than them.

Jupiter in seventh 🏠 house or Lord of seventh House.

Jupiter being divine planet, trust people and sometimes even have blind faith on their partners.

Such natives loves unconditionally, and treat relationship very sacred bond

Most of time, natives spoil their Jupiter by not not being righteous and moral in relationship.

Such natives also give value to righteousness and morality in relationship alot, only issue is that sometimes they trust too much and once, something goes wrong in relationship they won't be able to recover from it quickly, because they had blind faith and never imagined anything could go wrong in relationship.

Such native would get spiritual partner or becomes spiritual after marriage. Such natives get married in their religion, and follow all the religious rituals associated with marriage. They desire relationship where they feel guided, and someone who is matured and counsel them

Natives having bharani nakshatra in seventh house, or Mars Jupiter and Venus in bharani should be careful, because such natives would be fully dependent on their partners and suddenly their partners would change and then such natives becomes clueless in life because they never imagined their life without them and had lot of emotional attachment

As bharani is the sign of transformations, so such natives face huge transformations in life because of their partner.

#vedic astrology #astro observations #astro community #astro notes #astrology #spirituality #occult

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zuzla33 · 2 months ago

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... if Armie wanted to show the world what a fanatical environment he grew up in and how little unconditional motherly love he received, he couldn't have done a better interview

... because this interview was therapy and war all in one

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sirrentxt · 7 months ago

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Something about Luis leaning into Virgin Mary more than Jesus and God himself. Something about her being associated with holiness, hope, conversion of a sinner and motherly love.

His mother, absent; a memory, a tale, not so different from the knights and the dragons, save for the things that—Grandfather claims—carry the imprint of her fingers, the things that had the pleasure to witness the gentleness of her hand, years past. To Luis, she's family, familiar, a stranger, a ghost; a blurry figure in the eye of his mind. No pictures, no paintings, just his Grandfather's words: you have her eyes.

Luis being taught that, even if they say otherwise, God's love is conditional; but having Grandfather, more so than the Priest, be the source of information about Holy Mary. And never having Grandfather imply that her love is conditional. Luis believing that even if he's abandoned by God and His son, the Mother will be there for him.

Grandfather telling little Luis that his mom is watching over him alongside the Holy Mother. That even when mom can't watch over him, Mother Mary can, and she does, and she always will.

Her love isn’t religious, in his eyes. It’s purely motherly.

You can't love her more than Jesus did, Grandfather says to him one day, in passing. Luis thinks it a challenge, and loves her even more.

The drastic difference between God (Father; Allfather, paternal, proud, unreachable, mighty. God give me strength and God bless and God be with you. Conditional love; hate for the sinner. The one to exile, condemn, abandon) and Virgin Mary (Mother; maternal, gentle, caretaker. Present in households, a symbol of hope, protector of hearth. Unconditional love, no matter the weight of the sin, no matter what happens—watching over her children)

Luis' life, where God exists mainly in the church, in the prayer, in the concept—but Mother Mary is present, and in every house; somehow, or more so, even in his house, the house where no mother reaches out to her for strength and guidance, for protection from evil, because there is only two of them here; he and Grandfather.

In this house, she fills in the blanks.

When he's older and push comes to shove, it's not God or Jesus that he keeps close to his heart. When he thinks himself a sinner, a lost lamb, when the gifted cross no longer gleams around his neck, resting instead in a dusty drawer under ink-stained notes—it's the silhouette of Holy Mary that keeps him company, engraved on a ring he got, in a subtle reach for faith, off a man at the flea market. It's Holy Mary's image that he turns towards the wall on the nights when men pass through his sheets. It's her that sits patiently in the back of his mind, the corner of his kitchen, even though no prayer leaves his lips, other than the sinful ones he doesn't dare repeat in the light of day—they're not for the ears of the Mother, and they're not for the ears of God.

He might be His child, and still he picks Mother over Father.

pet project: meta // luis, on holy mary

#pet project.txt #snippets #wip #luis serra #luis serra navarro #resident evil #resident evil 4 #re4make #meta #something abstract prompted by the texture files of his rings #attached for reference :)#could be a generic ring but i choose to believe it's one with a holy mary engraving #the last line sits well with me but it was tempting to imply that she is also picking him. cares for him in the moments god doesn't #too much thought went into this!! i gotta get it out so. here's a rough read #as i continue to refuse to get a beta reader #writing

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raine-soft · 8 months ago

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Blue eyes

ok, because you asked for it Satoru Yan fanfic

Warnings: Harassment, kidnapping and sexual themes

Note: My native language is not English, so I hope I am good at spelling.

Gojo Satoru, a boy who really only slept with a girl and left her, a boy with a lot of money, very powerful and beautiful, the most powerful sorcerer, a funny and carefree guy… He was perfect, right? You had everything you needed, right? No one always has everything they want, except Satoru, but he still needed something he didn't find until he met you: Motherly love. Yes, in a couple it can be strange, but even if you don't believe it, there may be girls there who take care of everything, like you, who give them that beautiful maternal love that everyone needs, that understanding, care, attention, empathy, love, affection, that only a good mother can give. Unfortunately you had to see Satoru as a child who needed love, it seemed that only you noticed it was you, and he loved that it was you which he loved.

At first, Satoru just wanted to fuck you and throw you away, but… Something in you attracted him, something that he wanted only for him, your empathy and unconditional affection, that made him want to keep you forever, just for him and maybe with your mother who treated him just as well as you.

You are walking home calmly, a beautiful night with the sky full of stars that adorned the moon beautifully, the air was fresh with a refreshing breeze, you were very upset with Satoru because you discovered that at first he only wanted to fuck you.

When you got home, you almost fainted, what did you see? To Satoru sitting in your armchair chatting calmly with your father, his stupid smile changed to complete fury when you couldn't help the urge to give him the middle finger. You spoke to him with hatred, annoyance and disappointment.

Y/N: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY FUCKING HOUSE, YOU FUCKING IDIOT? Satoru: I just… came because I'm your boyfriend… Y/N: HA… No, get out of my fucking house

Your father was surprised by this behavior, but he understood, sometimes couple fights happen. Your father took Satoru out of the house and he looked at you with hatred and obsession, you had only seen that look when your friend had declared her feelings for you, STRANGLY she disappeared a few days later and, oh surprise, you too you would disappear, but you didn't know it.

You went up to your room and went to bed upset, you breathed, you relaxed and you were finally able to sleep. When you woke up, god, you wished you hadn't. There was Satoru looking at you with hatred, obsession and madness. You were chained and half naked when you woke up.

Satoru: O-oh, you woke up honey~

(part 1 of 3)

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tarotwithdanise · 2 years ago

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What qualities do you bring in a relationship?

1 - 2 - 3

SOURCE AND CREDITABLE : All of the pictures are collected and downloaded from pinterest , I don’t own any of them but credits goes to the rightful owners however edits goes and the reading itself belong to me. I use the editor tools canva and ibispaint for the header and divider. If saved/downloaded the divider use a proper credits and tag/mention along my acc @tarotwithdanise. Expect grammatical errors with this reading, bear with it because english isn't my mother tongue.

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PILE ONE

Right off the bat, you will bring harmony with this relationship. It's like you were the one who will balancing this relationship, I see that you will going to mirror each other most of the time. You maybe bring this possessiveness and jealously towards your partner when they're with others, well that's okay though and that's valid. Your love language is maybe act of service and physical - you were probably like helping them out with their garden or cleaning their house windows. Also, sitting alone in a couch just feeling each other or holding hands while waiting for sun to rise. There's a lot of things can be happening between the two of you when you are alone. As well, with the hermit card here this talks to me that you two prefer to have an alone time, like discussing about your future plans, getting to know each other more and etcetera to build a strong romantic relationship with them.

Your partner probably likes your jokes, you might be a jokester. You were type of individual who is happy as clam, you enjoy every moments you will have with them perhaps that you maybe someone who is likely resist of change? yeah change, you kinda afraid of changes. I see that almost of your all your cards talks about ‘stability and security’, so I'm not quite sure where this insecurities you have for this relationship come from? where your partner make sure to love and give you the best care as they can. It may not be perfect but atleast they're trying their best, maybe from your past? You are like all in one package, you will bring flaws and good points for this relationship to build stronger and longer as you can.

PILE TWO

The first thing I noticed with your traits is that you have this motherly nature, regardless to your gender. You also like to initiate the conversation with your partner, you probably nourish every romantic relationship you have or will going to have. You also like to explore things or other places, it's soothing for you. And maybe you may want to travel with your partner in every places, cities or countries someday. I do see here you like get aways, you and your partner will be like best buddies at the same time lovers.

They will learn many things from you and so they do too from you. While, if you are single currently you are ready to mingle or if not, you are open with any romantic connection. I also feel, you were type of individual and lover where you like to fit-in with your person standards, like you were trying your best to be your person ‘ideal type’ in reality. You will also make your person as whole and complete individual. You will make them the best person on the earth. I do feel here for this pile the first up until the last seconds, you will love your person is about strong and unconditional love. Like a beautiful flower growing, the more it's grows the pretty and blooming it is.

You probably thinking that every person that come on your way is important. You were also a fighter or maybe someone who is ready to fight who everyone that will try to come across with your relationship. You don't give a f*ck about will others people will says about your relationship you have with your partner. You are good at starting conversations, you are not afraid to tell what's in your mind ; someone who can be very honest. You are charismatic and nurturing person that makes your (every) partner to fall in love with you way deeper.

PILE THREE

This is somewhat a heavy spread. Okay, you maybe feeling unlucky when it comes to love and it seems like you are not yet ready to take risk and embrace change, you are waiting for change to come but you aren't taking the first step to continue your journey when it comes your relationship with others. You are not going with the flow as your Guides and Angels wanted you to do so, it seems like you are just sitting there and waiting for change to come. Changes when it comes to love won't come on your way if you are not taking any actions for it, the possibilities of you getting on a relationship keeps delaying and delaying by itself.

You not even trying yourself to keep learning, you are putting boundaries, restricting and trapping yourself in a cell of negativity which is stopping you to start a new beginnings. Well, about the qualities you bring in a relationship? You will be a great partner to them. Someone who is willing to give everything all of they have with their partner. Aside from that, you may have trust issues and lead a relationship like be a dominant. You prefer a partner who is under to you rather than you will be under to them in a good or bad way because that's depend on you. I also do see here that you are finding someone who is sharing the same interest, hobbies and mindset like yours.

#pick a card #tarot #pick a pile #free tarot reading #tarotcommunity #tarot online #pick a card reading #pick a pile reading #tarotblr #love reading #future spouse #divination #spirituality #witches #witchblr

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