#uncomfortable topics discussed

[luna-loveboop]

So... Warriors

It is obvious by now he's not ok. He's irritable and tense.

I've had thoughts and ideas on this for awhile, so I think now's a good time to speak them. Very important detail at the end.

There are some really big and some small things adding to his stress

The drama with the sword. Wild went against the agreed plan, and lashed out in anger fear for twilights injury. From things Jojo said, Wars is mad about it for a while.

I have said this in other posts, but based on things Jojo has said and some details, I do not think Wild likes wars. He has not really gotten close to him, which adds on to the negativity between them

But Wars... is a captain. This journey is different, and he's doing amazing at setting aside expectations of how to work with rank. But that is still a clear stressor- to him that was unacceptable in battle

^this is one big thing we watched go wrong and has clearly been upsetting since

Another thing is

Wars has been taking on too much. We've seen him break up a fight at the inn, comfort Time (time!), and tell him he'd take care of the others.

Twice he said "let them", and "let him be"-making others have space they needed. He asked Four what was wrong and followed up with helping with smithing.

^^These are all small things. None of these are huge- practically tiny tasks. But they add up- all the attention to others feeling but not his own

... and

Wars has not smiled. Yes, he smiled, but it was not his smile. Since Twilight went injured to the inn, there has only been smiles in a way expected, but not much beyond when he found out his friend wasn't dead. (And when he helped Four at the blacksmiths)

In the updates, I have seen others saying how cool/pretty he looked. Which he did! But emotion wise, I only thought he looked angry. Even when teasing Twilight...

^Not his smile

But here's the biggest thing that I believe is bothering him...

I've wanted to point this out for awhile. The thing is, Wars was really hurt when he found out Twilight didn't tell him about Wolfie

It's small details. A few sentences and facial expressions. But they add up over the chapter, and I don't think he felt trusted or trusting when he found out

He tried to find out who else knew

And why he was one who didn't

*read the blurred words:

"No one said anything to me, I'm just left out of the loop. Who else knows? Just us?"

Wolfie being secret wasn't necessarily about trust, but wars took it personally. He really didn't understand or want to accept that Twilight would have told some of the others but not him...

Wars is distinctly closer to the ones his age, who the younger ones often turn to. And as someone who's been through war, who bonds closest with those he feels he works with best?

Twilight having a major secret he didn't share with Wars, but did with others,

Felt like a knife to the (back?) chest.

And it hurt him

Look at his face when saying "we couldn't do a thing for him". He's looking away, directly after asking four and wild if they knew. I don't think he felt trusted. Or trusting. From thinking someone wasn't who he thought he was, and maybe was closer to others...

^^this is what I think is perhaps the biggest stressor- yet most unnoticeable

Wars never spoke to anyone about his feelings. He pushed it aside and went and helped.

This is ok. Between people so close, anything can be worked out. This is very revealing of how much Wars cares about twilight and the others

As far as Warriors pushing aside his needs and focusing on others... it's hard.

But I can confidently say this: Warriors would never want to not help all he could, when the others needed him

Here's this screenshot that makes me laugh (and somehow sky is just chill with this?)

Wars: oh my god my friend just came back from a wolf what the Hylia who can I even trust I'm having an invisible crisis

Sky: oh yay the sword helped he's back :)

Twilight: I'm fine *currently dying*

Wars is stressed right now. He's taken on too much, he's probably still mad at Champion, and... he feels betrayed (god wars should never have to feel betrayed) and untrusted

Like literally everyone ever others, wars deals with his hurt. Sometimes he can't deal with it alone, and sometimes he can. It will all work out, and I love how much he loves his brothers.

But nothing, I repeat nothing

Will be ok

IF HE DOESNT START WEARING THE DAMN SCARF SOON CMON WE HAVENT SEEN IT IN LIKE TEN UPDATES

PUT ON YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SCARF CMON MAN

Ok I'm calm <3

.

Art and comic by Jojo @linkeduniverse :D

[this-nightmare-doesnt-exist-yet]

I'm an "innocent until proven guilty" type. I hate that while there isn't enough to solidly say that Wilbur is the shitty person being discussed there is less evidence proving his potential innocence.

If he is guilty of what has been said, I unfortunately have a pretty good idea as to how a person like that gets into such a position without the wider population catching wind.

And don't be harsh on yourself if you fell for an act. Lies wouldn't be a thing if they didn't work.

If he is innocent he should be able to properly make a case and have it backed-up along with having transparency.

Hell, he wasn't even explicitly mentioned even if he is suspicious. If he is innocent he could easily clear things up and talk it out with others.

Don't expect an instant response to the situation. Even the innocent can't make a defense for something that they are unaware they are being accused of. This is a terrible way to come back from a vacation but it is something important to be discussed.

People have been hurt and narrowing down the list of suspects helps to know who and what to watch out for, but don't speculate. Be careful, be respectful, and be patient, and most importantly support those who have been harmed.

[zhivchik]

[insurged]

considering the amount of questions i get about it, i want to clarify my interpretation and stance on hawks and endeavor's relationship, specifically on hawks supporting endeavor even after it becomes public of how badly endeavor treated his family, as i think it's very important to my portrayal of the birb.

both of hawks' parents were abusive: physically, mentally and verbally. his father was a murderer on the run and his mother harbored him. hawks' conception was unintentional and happened while both of them were under extreme stress of hiding from the authorities all the time. this manifests into them projecting their irritation, anger, and even hatred of each other and is directed at hawks instead. his dad hated his guts until endeavor put the trash in jail and hawks' mother basically sold him to the hero commission and later on, again, sold out his son's personal information to dabi and left like a coward. couldn't even apologize to his face either, just left a "goodbye" note.

hawks admires endeavor, not just because he was saved by him but because endeavor realizes that his abusive actions were wrong, apologizes to his family to their faces, admits it in public to everyone, and instead of running away, faces the consequences of his actions head on. endeavor isn't asking for forgiveness, he is trying to make amends, fully accepting that he doesn't deserve any. he is taking responsibility to make up for the damage he's caused. period. he's not running away like hawks' mother did. he realized his wrongs unlike hawks' father who never even got to the point of even realizing what he had done was wrong. that, to hawks, is inspiring and instills a lot of hope in him.

while he doesn't know exactly what the todoroki family went through, hawks has a good idea. he lived under that too. but endeavor - despite how flawed and terrible he was - came to. that realization point is what hawks finds amazing because his parents will never get to that point and therefore, he knows that it's not easy to get there. hawks wants to support that. he is not condoning or supporting abuse.

[enden-k]

btw, i mean no offense to anyone but bc of ppl being weirdos in my dms so often pls dont text me in private unless were friends/mutuals, i blocked you by accident from my side acc or you have an actual question you would rather discuss in private (marking an ask with * at the start works too btw, if u want me to answer it privately)

[sarbcat]

okay batfam tumblr. i must ask. how do you feel about jaytim, stephcass- and i suppose any other 'batcest' ships? im struggling to get a consensus from just searching the tabs. i like jaytim, and i like stephcass- but i don't like them in canon contexts, pretty much just in fanon material. my perspective: when you put jaytim in a situation where jason and tim are like brothers, where they have potentially known each other for a long time and have gotten into a brotherly relationship, then the concept of a romantic jaytim is weird to me. stephcass i think holds it's own place, where steph has never been legally adopted and the two's relationship has always been friendlier rather than sisterly? is that just me? plus i think age factors in for sure, like brudick is weird as hell to me because well. bruce -> 40? older? dick -> 20s??? like i know bruce adopted dick when bruce was fairly young and dick was already 9 but thats still weird to me. thats. thats a parent child bond in just about every context? and taking ANY of the batsiblings that aren't like. adjacent? is uncomfy to me? like damian and anyone is odd to me that's a little kid, tim and dick would be weird, etc., etc., but maybe that's me? maybe a lot of tumblr oomfs disagree? i'm really genuinely curious, and as much as i like to avoid the evil horrifying FANDOM DISCOURSE. i'm curious! i want to hear people's thoughts. this whole thing, by the way, stems from a post i made: here! the ship was jaytim. sorry commenters. so tell me how you feel about it! i think what i'm expecting the consensus to be is just all around varied. i think some people will think its shite and some people will be fine with it? idk,,, + i think anything inherently illegal or pedophilic is gross. just want to get that out there. i am NOT a proshipper, i do not fuck with that. it's just a weird situation in the context of familial-not familial bonds in the comics.

[elipheleh]

The truth is every queer person has the right to come out on their own terms, and on their own timeline. They also have the right to choose not to come out at all. The forced conformity of the closet can not be answered with the forced conformity in coming out of it.

-Alex, Red White & Royal Blue (2023)

i want to talk about this quote. full disclosure, it’s because i keep seeing some really frustrating takes (some of which veer into queerphobia) and i am getting a bit annoyed with people and rather than directly addressing it with them & appear to be picking a fight im going to make an analysis post in my space. (tbf. its mostly on twitter and i have a priv account so that limits me)

disclaimer; this is my interpretation, im not saying its the only interpretation just something to consider. i am queer & cognitively disabled - don’t assume malice and dont be cruel. i will ignore and block freely.

tl;dr/very simplified summary: it doesn’t mean “dont ever speculate about other people’s sexuality” but rather that ‘coming out’ in the way society understands it shouldn’t be a necessity for queer people to exist openly as queer. full context under the cut & self-exploration questions at the end.

so lets start with the context. alex is talking at a point in time when the world has read their emails and so knows both are queer (bi & gay, specifically), but neither alex/the white house or henry/the palace have commented. so more simply - alex and henry are known to be queer, but have not come out. alex uses the speech to come out as bi, and as being in love with henry. he also uses it to imply that he & henry should have the right to choose not to do this formal coming out alex is doing.

—

okay. lets get into the quote analysis.

The truth is every queer person has the right to come out on their own terms, and on their own timeline.

reasonably self explanatory. each queer person gets to decide their own timing for coming out, and the way that they want to address their sexuality.

They also have the right to choose not to come out at all.

this is where problems with interpretation have started to appear. fundamentally yes, this means people are allowed to not be openly queer/‘out’ if that is what their decision is. but it also means that they can be visibly queer - for example being in a visibly queer relationship; signalling with their aesthetic (e.g. someone being butch, someone who wears only ‘girl’ clothes despite that being at odds to their assigned gender); casually posting about queer things on social media etc - without addressing their own sexuality to others.

it does not mean that you should assume everyone is straight until they explicitly tell you otherwise. and quite frankly insisting that it does mean that is veering into homo-/bi-/queer-phobia because you are insinuating that being not-straight is a negative thing.

The forced conformity of the closet can not be answered with the forced conformity in coming out of it.

some people seem to be interpreting this as ‘you shouldnt force people out of the closet’ and i don’t think thats quite to the nuance of what it means. yes, i do think that is part of it - in much the same way as the previous sentence - but it is not really the whole of it. in my opinion this is actually addressing - at least to some degree - the concept of ‘we should assume people are straight until they explicitly say otherwise’.

the ‘forced conformity of coming out’ addresses the idea that to be “out” you have to follow these steps; that you have to make a public statement that ‘this is my sexuality and i am [queer/bi/gay/pan/ace/etc]’. you are conforming to this precedent of “how to come out” that countless queer people have followed. there’s nothing inherently wrong with doing so, but actually there are different ways to be queer - and even being “out” as queer - that don’t involve following that playbook.

here’s a hypothetical to demonstrate my point. two men, who have never dated any women, live together & spend basically all their time together over 5-10 years. they holiday with each other’s family, they’re always together at events (e.g. weddings of non-mutual friends), but they’ve never told you/the public that they’re queer and/or dating each other. at what point does one start to assume they’re together? and does the answer change if its a man & a woman rather than two men? if a man & a woman did that, people would assume pretty early on they’re probably dating. but yet when it’s two men suddenly it’s invasive to speculate. this is where this concept of the forced conformity of coming out comes in - along with the veering into homophobia i referenced earlier - why must they say the words “i am gay” for it to then be ‘okay’ to consider that they’re together? (the homophobia comes into play because if you think being gay is morally neutral (which it is) then you shouldn’t have any issue with the speculation about people being together regardless of their genders.) the idea that straight is the default is where this forced conformity starts to really kick in.

—

i guess the main things i want people to ask themselves are these (and i have been asking myself these questions, there is no judgement or censure just self examination):

1. do you think people can be openly queer publicly without explicitly sharing that they are queer? (by this i mean in an announcement or in casual conversation. can you be openly queer without ever addressing it explicitly?)

2. if you do, why do you think that talking about the possibility someone is queer is something that should be hushed up? is it because there is an internalised concept that being queer is something abnormal and/or negative? if it was a straight couple would you feel the same way?

3. what does “coming out” mean to you? why does it mean that, what have you internalised to get to that conclusion & is it something that always works or are there other ways to be openly queer (or ‘out’ if you prefer)?

4. is it possible that there are queer people living openly and happily as themselves without explicitly addressing their sexuality to the wider world, who don’t want to address it publicly? does this make them closeted or ‘less’ queer to you? if so, what makes you think that?

[borealopelta]

does someone want to buy my roommate off me. i'll pay if you take them

[leapinarmadillo]

ohhhh. i forgot that people used to say michael was getting surgeries in order to look like diana ross. ugh. i don't think there's anything to that but............ugh.

[daz4i]

i mostly get why ppl say it but every time i see ppl demonize those who fetishize certain bodies and such - specifically ones i have. ofc - i'm like "i dunno i'd kinda like being fetishized. who am i to say no" yknow? 🧐

[spearxwind]

God do you remember a few years ago where every art or picture that had the most minimal affection shown had to be tagged as #pda (public display of affection) because people didnt want to see that so it just ended up devolving into literally you had to trigger tag two characters leaning on each other or holding hands

[theforesteldritch]

I have GOT to stop getting crushes on tall autistic guys that I work with. I’ve had one per job I’ve had so far but in my defense I see him and my brain is like awghsgwhsagaul

[loveydoveylex]

I'm new to this, but why don't you want pro-shippers interacting with you? Doesn't that just mean they support all ships?

the term covers over people that live by the sentiment 'ship whatever the hell you want', which would be fine if it was within reason, but morality is thrown out the window and it also extends to gross things like minor x adult ships or incest.

even if it's 'just fictional' (an excuse that I find to be extremely questionable and immediately raises red flags for me) I still find it gross and do not want to associate with people that don't see anything wrong with this...

[cnmcn]

Shonen manga fans need to learn media literacy the most I think.

[cuntrytaylor]

:(

[pochx]

hiiii