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kassandragreyson · 2 months ago

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Human!Q v. Q!Picard discussion

Ok, so I finally watched Helluva Boss season 2, and I already had a comparison post about Stolitz/Qcard last year.

After episode 11 and 12 I got some ideas on how Qcard relationship would work between two absolutely different species.

Picard

Picard's main problem is Q’s omnipotence and high stance in the galaxy level, which obviously does not sit right with him in relation to their equality. Q has constantly overruled Picard's decisions due to his "knowledge" and "experience," and if Q does not see it as a problem, Picard cannot be in a relationship where his own opinion and experience are undermined only because he is a human. Also, i feel like he kinda considers Q's involvement as cheating the system.

Q's main problem is Picard's limitation: in his lifespan, in experience, in thinking and open minding. Q simply can not understand why this human is so stubborn and does not let Q guide his Capitan in the right direction since he already knows the proper way.

Obviously, these two are hard to to see on a long-term run despite their other matches such as Picard's desire for an adventure partner who is ready to go anywhere he goes and Q's desire to be with someone who does not see him as a God to obey to and rather a some nuisance instead.

I do think Q is tired of the conatant treatment of being the highest creature, so being treated with some sort of disrespect and ignorance like Picard does to him, makes him feel real and alive as it keeps him entertained enough, and that's why he will never be bored of Jean-Luc, because no matter what, the Capitan will never be soft and obedient toy in his hands, his mind, will to explore and love for life are what keeps Q amused and excited.

Im not even bringing the Q Continuum. Obviously, Q feels rather like a black sheep around them, so it's logical for him to look for a companionship somewhere else.

But taking into consideration what if one of them change? Who is it likely to be?

I think it's Q.

Being mortal is terrifying but does it worth it?

Look, Picard rather die thousands times than become something else than human. And it's not only because he is afraid of spend enternity with Q, but rather, being even not the most religious man, he still wants to end up in places where all humans go. Exploration of the universe means nothing for him without his crew, family and friends.

I also think he hopes to see Robert and Rene once again and that's why Q is not in his afterlife plans.

He could see himself spending some time with Q while he still alive, even fantasizing about all the possible adventures they could go into, but death? No no, he wants to reunite with his family and friends and maybe then go for even further parts of the universe.

Also, he isn't a fan of the way Q work, he finds them rather spoiled and ignorant and way too overpowered. Entitled even. There is no way he will ever become one of them, unless it is a sacrifice for the best (then he can pretend that he did not have a choice), as his biggest fear is to become someone else (e.g. borg) but human.

That leaves us with Q, going down to his level.

Yes, Q was terrified in Deja Q of becoming the vulnerable mortal, no powers and no ways to cheat. For a being like him it was as if human became a worm, too hard to comprehend.

But out of all he came to Jean-Luc, person of trust and love. He basically said to his siblings that do with me what you want as long as Picard is near by.

I feel like that if Q would be kept as human for longer, the only reason for him not going crazy and really trying to become a decent human being is Picard's approval.

Here comes my #dark!Jean-Luc arch. Jean-Luc is a man of many qualities but we also see him as pretty selfish partner. He isn't compromising in his love life, his job is always a priority so his partner has to be on the same side. So he is looking for easy and not demanding person ( yeah you think Q is far away from being not demanding but hear me out) to be with.

Q is a temptation, but he only ever goes for him only if Q becomes a human. That's basically it. He wants q as he is, adventurous, mouthy, filthy, cocky spoiled brat but as long as he is on the same level with Picard.

He can make Q his lover or even a partner as long as Q is not a threat, as long as he is made of blood and flesh.

You see, Picard is man of pride, but he cannot overcome his own insecurities when it comes to his decisions.

He needs to know that Q is not going to be always right or give him a cheat code to any issue. He wants it to be real on his own terms.

Q is not comfortable for him as Q. But as human...he will definitely give it a shot.

And there where I see Q giving in. It does not matter how depressed he can be from becoming a mortal, once Jean-Luc shows an interest in HIM he will do anything to keep it going. If that means forget his Q identity, he will as he is too desperate for Jean-Luc's love and affection.

I even can see that if there going to be a choice, between him getting back into Q Continuum but forgetting about Picard and him staying as human and being with Picard he will choose Jean-Luc.

And it would be a sick win win since Jean-Luc would be delusional and he would take it as Q being truly genuine and wanting to be a human like him is a true desire since "obviously" being human is not that bad for a billion years cosmic entity, right?

But for Q it's a way to tell his family to fuck off, you see he loves me, he wants me, I can be without you as I was right, mon Capitan truly desires only me, which is also delusional but in so different manner.

Both of them are getting what they want but being in denial of the truth. They both lie to themselves and to each other but nothing of it probably will even come out as they are too far into this game.

Conclusion

Jean-Luc being a narcissistic manipulative asshole towards Human!Q and Human!Q being a complete mess but with his Capitan.

Continuum would leave these two alone, they wanna see how it ends and when Q will open up his eyes.

Cuz if Jean-Luc ever decides to break up with Q and Q gave up his powers to be with this man... Boy of boy. What can happen. Even being mad at Q for his choice and words, Continuum will return Q his powers just to see how it will play out for Picard and his ignorance.

#qcard #jean luc picard #q star trek #star trek q #star trek tng #q tng #star trek picard #picard #q #startrek tng

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slytherinsomniari · 10 months ago

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HL OC Headcanon: How Aesop Sharp Proposed to Eleanor Knightley

I decided that I would post this here as well. I didn't flesh it out and maybe someday I will fully write it out, but for now, here is how Professor Sharp Proposed to my oc Eleanor Knightley.

Aesop Sharp visits Eleanor's family with her once they've been together for a while & drops a bombshell by asking her father for his blessing. Eleanor is completely shocked, not expecting this at all. She blushes and stutters out, asking what he's doing but is told to be quiet. As she looks into his eyes, she sees a firm determination that she's never seen before—even in him. He is dead set on this. Professor Sharp and her father move to her father's office to discuss business. Sharp puts forth his desires and talks about the specifics like the dowry, where she would live, etc. In the meantime, Eleanor sits there gob smacked in the parlor. Looking to her mother for help, she only gets a wry smile & a giggle. It appears that she was to be left in the dark—a first time for her, especially with something so big. The only thing she can do is anxiously wait until Sharp got done talking to her father.

Eventually he exits her father's office & reenters the parlor. Eleanor jolts as soon as she sees him and his eyes narrow like a hawk. With firm steps he walks towards her, telling her that they are to take a stroll in the garden. She reluctantly agrees, finding the whole situation confusing and flustering. As they stroll through the garden, it is made apparent that the girl that was once so loud, once so confident, is now a confused, meek girl. Her mind is flooded with so many thoughts and as she is led through the garden where she grew up—the place she used to run through & explore so daringly as a child.

After a while, Sharp stops once they are further into the garden, away from prying eyes. He turns to her, staring directly into her eyes. "Eleanor" he says, his voice coming out as both soft and firm at the same time, "You are one of the most foolhardy, arrogant, mischievous young women I know. You brazenly defy all authority, taking no orders from anyone—taking your life as well as others—into your own hands and damning the consequences. You maintain a daring attitude in spite of your proper upbringing and have become such an astonishingly brave young woman—whether that be influence from your brothers or your own choosing.

Despite all this, or rather, because of it, I have grown fond of you. You have somehow made yourself irreplaceable to me. You mean the world to me—a thought in which would have been impossible before. Your chaos, your reckless deeds, your confidence and pride in yourself and appearance that bears no conceit, your uncanny ability to draw people in...they are all parts of you that I adore. The person—no—woman I love is so much more than the sum of her parts. The love I bear for you grows stronger every moment I spend in your presence. You, Eleanor, have changed me. Wholly and utterly changed me. I cannot go on any longer without you—without knowing of your affection—without knowing if you feel the same.

You are young, this is true, and many at Hogwarts will come to question our relationship. But that is no matter. The only people that matter in this are you and I—and only you can end my suffering.

I never would have dreamt that you would become so dear to me. I would love to have you, to be with you, to hold you close every waking moment. You are the one I want in my bed beside me. If time but allowed us to meet sooner we would have had more to spend together, but that is not the case. All I can offer you is the time with me now and forever, until old age makes us part. And that is enough, for I am blessed to spend but even one second in your presence—in the light of your love. Eleanor, would you do me the honor and walk with me? Not under my control, but side by side? Now and forever, will you do the honor of becoming my wife?"

The look on Eleanor's face says everything. Her mouth hangs open and her skin is pale yet rosy, tears pooling in her brilliant green eyes. She had wanted this moment for a while, but never knew if or when it would come. And it was not a leash and collar—it was a marriage of equals, one where she would retain her independence and freedom. She would not have to bow down in meek acceptance like the muggle women do in high society. She could do whatever she wanted, with the one she loves by her side.

"Yes!" She exclaims with a teary smile. Touched by all of the emotion that came from the usually stern professor, Eleanor is truly beginning to understand the depth of his feelings.

"I would love nothing more, Aesop, than to spend the rest of my life with you until eternity and beyond. Now and forever, in everlasting bliss."

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readypanda · 2 months ago

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hi hi hi friend tell me abt ur stories if u want!!! just read ur pinned post... I am intrigued!

which one do you want to know about?!?!?

(rather than waiting for an answer I'll tell you about the human and siren one since it's the furthest along, but feel free to ask about more if you're curious!!!)

Ok so the description says this story is about a human and siren starting a band, but it's ACTUALLY about the two of them working through their respective mommy issues. Bad parents are kinda a theme in this story.

SPOILER ALERT the reason the human (who's name is Haze) can talk to the ocean is because he's actually half selkie. I was inspired to write about this dynamic since in selkie folklore (which I don't know that much about so do not consider this a faithful representation) the stories of selkie women leaving their husbands who kidnapped them is pretty common, and I read on wikipedia that they would usually leave their children behind, too, if they had any. I also got the "talking to the ocean thing" from one of these legends, but I unfortunately can't find where I read that at the moment. This character and his sister also have non-human features (his hands and her face) that they hide from the other humans for fear of being ostracized.

Side note, one funny unintentional thing that crops up in this story is the fact that a couple other characters clearly have crushes on Haze despite the fact that he has ZERO rizz personality wise. I did this because I thought it would be funny, though it actually seems kinda relevant since selkies are supposedly seductive according to folklore. The story doesn't touch on this other than Haze showing absolutely zero interest in anyone despite this (though he could be read as just oblivious). It might be something I explore if I ever decide to write a sequel, though, since Haze being ace coded would be yet another contrast to the siren (who is a little boy crazy).

Where this story diverges from folklore is, most notably, the absence of a coat. It's something I could slide into the story if I wanted to but I never really thought about it. Maybe I'll consider adding it in the second draft, but it's just not all that important for two reasons: one being there's only one full blooded selkie character who appears in the story and the other reason being about why Haze's selkie mom actually left.

It's never stated directly in the text, but my hope was to portray Haze's parents as not the typical story of a man kidnapping a selkie to be his wife, but rather a complicated relationship that fell apart in time. Regardless of the circumstances, neither of his parents are around when the story starts, as his selkie mother left many years ago and his father died in a lumberjack accident. When I was first conceiving this story, I originally considered having Haze's father be abusive. This would explain more clearly why his mother left as well as giving my poor boy even more trauma to work through. I ended up not going through with this because 1.) it was too dark for the tone (and eventual audience) I was aiming for and 2.) the current version of the story gives me more room to explore Haze's feelings for his mother as a direct contrast to the siren character's feelings for hers. Speaking of...

The siren character, Lana, makes up the other half of this book. Unlike selkie mythology, which I did some research into, most of the siren lore in this book came entirely from my head. They still use songs for magic, but the spells they do go beyond just hypnotizing people (or fish, which is more practical for hunting). They use music to manipulate coral to build their houses on the reef, to transform their mermaid tail into legs for land, to summon bubbles underwater, etc. etc. Needless to say, music is a HUGE part of their culture beyond just magic. This poses a problem for Lana, who cannot sing underwater.

DISCLAIMER: Lana's story contains discussions about disability (specifically being deaf and/or unable to speak). I tried as well as I could to portray this in a sensitive and well informed manner, but I am only human and do not experience either of these disabilities, so if anything seems off or questionable please let me know if you're comfortable! I haven't done any sensitivity reading (other than one friend who knows sign language but is not deaf, who already gave me a lot of pointers in my portrayal of sign language) so it's entirely possible something has slipped through the cracks.

There is an explanation in the story for Lana only speaking above water (her gills were damaged in an accident, but she can still speak above water since the systems they use to generate sound are so different). I bring this up because I wrestled a lot with the depiction of Lana's disability and I worried it felt like it was erased by her not appearing disabled above water. After finishing the story, I feel a lot better about this aspect, since much of her story still takes place beneath water and going above the surface to talk is NOT a catch-all solution for her. Rather, she uses sign language most of the time, and part of the story is her convincing her family that there's nothing wrong with that and that they should engage with her signing rather than seeing it as less than speaking.

As I was developing this story, I wanted to portray more of the culture around siren sign language, since initially it felt like something only Lana did. This not only makes no sense world building wise (like if she's the only signer how did she learn?) but also feels inadequate representation wise. To bolster not only the setting but also Lana's relationships outside her family, I added another siren named Current to the story. He is deaf and heavily involved with the siren's sign language classes, which briefly shows some of the other sirens in that community. He and Lana also clearly have a thing for each other but their romance isn't heavily explored. That being said, I have brainworms about the two of them and would totally write about their romance in a sequel book if I scraped together a half-decent plot.

Anyways, let's finally talk about Lana's family.

In siren culture, siblings live together their whole lives. The oldest child is tasked with moving out of their parent's house when they are "of age" (never stated directly, but in my head, it's between 16-18) and preparing a house for their younger siblings to move into once they also come of age, which the oldest sibling will lead. It's generally accepted that siren mothers raise their kids with their siblings while siren fathers aren't generally a part of their kids lives (or even known by the kids), rather helping their own siblings raise their kids. Because of this dynamic, Lana has a HUGE family (at least compared to Haze). It's all comprised of her, her older sister Cordelia (who is of age and moved out), her younger brother Caspian, her three cousins, her mother, and her aunt and uncle.

Funny note about all that lore, when I went back to write the scenes at the siren school, I accidentally introduced a male siren who talks about his wife and kids, completely forgetting that sirens don't marry. I don't think I've fixed it yet but it's on the list lmao

Lana's sister is only one year older than her but has been working on their eventual house for three years. Lana was supposed to move out when she came of age, but didn't get around to it for a combination of her sister claiming the house wasn't ready and her mother not wanting her out in the world so soon. This builds on Lana's frustrations with how people treat her due to her disability. She has a common problem of feeling like people don't listen to her when she signs (evident with Cordelia and others) and she hates how her mother infantalizes her.

Lana's character arc is something I'm still kind of working out, since it's a complex issue. I need to resolve not only her own flaws (of which there are many) but also the mistakes other people in her life make without feeling like one overshadows the other dramatically. I haven't done a full second reading, but that's also something that's on the list. The complexity of her situation and my own lack of experience in the topic makes it a lot harder to write than Haze's arc.

When Lana and Haze meet each other, there's an immediate contrast. Lana is outgoing and not scared to take risks. She's a forward thinking person who makes plans and puts them into action, only stopped by other people in her life who don't do the same. Haze, meanwhile, is scared of everything and suffers from anxiety. He clings to the past desperately and doesn't like getting out of his comfort zone. They go back and forth throughout the story, and there's no shortage of the two of them butting heads. Through various circumstances, Lana convinces Haze to start a band with her. The first half of the story comprises of the two of them getting to know one another (and their secrets) while the second half actually has them playing in the band. I still think this pacing is a little wonky (ideally they would be playing in the band as soon as possible) but I'm okay with that for now because I don't want to restructure the entire story and deal with the plot point that prevents them from playing sooner.

and now, I get to talk about the secret third bandmate! Didn't expect that, did you? Well SURPRISE! This story has harpies, too.

The last character doesn't appear until the second half of the story and never gets a full chapter in his perspective. He's a harpy named Remiel who asks if he can join their band after their first show. He plays the harp (get it???) And to contrast Lana's outgoing energy and Haze's anxious energy, he's extremely chill. To demonstrate how chill, he gets exactly one exclamation in the entire story (said exclamation is also an inside joke in my family, which makes it funnier in my head).

Despite never getting his own chapter, Remiel isn't free of the bad parent curse, as he has a classic case of "high school musical dad" who wants him to join the family business rather than playing in a band. Unlike Lana and Haze, he's a lot more mature about his situation and seems to have come to terms with it. But that doesn't stop it from generating more drama between the characters.

I think he rounds out the cast well as the one mentally sane person in their crew.

LIGHTNING ROUND! Here's some out of context lines from random chapters to chew on:

"It would take an idiot to risk fishing in such a place. Haze was that idiot."

“Eat you? Gross! Human flesh tastes worse than rotten squid ink.”

"What was she gonna do, walk to his village with her fish tail and snitch?"

"If Cordelia didn’t want to talk, then she wouldn’t get a shopping buddy, either."

"But Haze was not smart."

“Why do you even HAVE this?”

“Lana, humans don’t lay eggs!”

“Yippee!”

"Lana made a rude gesture in its direction."

"Lana threw the prism fish toward Haze’s boat. Only, she missed, and it hit Haze in the face with a slchap instead."

"You’re making a layered collage for your boring situationship?”

“Mother always said you had a way with fish.”

“Can you swim back a little? We were just talking about holding your breath and having weird hands. What do you mean the ocean TALKS to you?”

"Listless didn’t even sound like a word to Haze anymore."

“No offense, but we’re not the shiniest fish in the sea. Some eye candy in our band wouldn’t hurt.”

“Have you really been swimming off to make out with boys?”

"Oh crap, he was being reasonable."

"Lana wasn’t sure what he was doing. She wasn’t convinced Haze knew, either."

"Lana expected excitement, even elation on his face. But instead, he stared at them, expression far, like someone might look at the remains of their pet guppy they pulled from the maw of a shark."

“That’s what I said! Is your head still half underwater?”

“Remiel is great on the harp, you straggly feathered old coot.”

"It took every fiber of his being to not smack his bandmates. What did he just say?"

“If we beat you at cards, will you tell us where your son lives?”

“Have you been using an illusion charm this whole time?”

"The stove in Haze’s kitchen was broken. Of course it was. Nothing could ever not break in his life."

"Besides, I wasn’t about to have Remiel ask his toolbag of a dad for one."

“Maybe the ocean is giving you the nicest version of an ugly truth.”

"Lana remembered Gus’ words about how being overwhelmed could turn some people into algae-sucking urchins for a while. He didn’t say that directly, but that was what she remembered."

“I have made a grave mistake.”

“You didn’t think at all! Is there a single brain cell behind that pretty face of yours?”

"She figured her mother should be a lot more worried about how Cordelia was ogling that harpy, but decided against drawing her mother’s ire."

“You told them I was WHAT?!”

Ok! This post has been a lot longer than I anticipated and I only got to talking about one story. If you're interested in asking, any posts I make for the other stories will prolly be shorter since they're not finished.

(unless you ask about the cyborg/flower nymph one. Prepare for impact if you dare peek down that rabbit hole)

Now I've gotta add a description of another story I've been working on to the pinned post...It's pretty far along but I never got around to it. We'll see.

Thank you for the ask and thank you for reading!!! Happy writing!!!

#writing #siren #selkie #my writing #rambling #talking about my story #is there a hashtag for rambling about your story??

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jacquelinemerritt · 2 years ago

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Star Wars: Exploring the Canon - Episode I-II

Originally posted October 19th, 2019

We begin with the two most hated prequels, and a Marvel comic set between them.

This review is part of a series of pieces on the entirety of the Star Wars canon. See them all here!

Before we begin, I feel somewhat obligated to state my “credentials” related to the Star Wars universe. While I am nowhere near old enough to have seen the original trilogy during its theatrical run, I am old enough to have experienced the prequel trilogy as it was coming out, making Revenge of the Sith my first midnight premiere at the age of eleven.

I even was an avid lurker of the official Star Wars forums back in the day, and I read just about every entry posted to the fan blogs that were hosted on the official site. I also made a series of Star Wars fan films at the age of ten, all telling the story of a disgraced Jedi Knight who fell to the dark side and had to be defeated by his former master (naturally casting myself as the fallen Jedi, of course).

I say all of this not to impress you with my “nerd cred,” but to contextualize the importance of Star Wars in my development as a critic and artist. My first experience with critical thinking in any form came through the blogs and forum discussions I read that debated the merits and failings of the prequels, and it was through my love of Star Wars that I attempted to write, produce, direct, and edit my first films, learning the skills that would lead me to becoming a film editor today.

What’s more, the Star Wars films (and related shows and books I could get my hands on at the time) were an escape for me, and I fell in love with Lucas’s universe in the process, reading the many young adult novels set before The Phantom Menace, scouring the details of the Expanded Universe through the official Star Wars databank, and watching any fan film that wasn’t too vulgar, hoping to learn something from other aspiring filmmakers like me.

Image from Versus, a 2005 Star Wars fan film directed by Nicolas Santini.

My history with Star Wars and love for writing criticism brings us to the goals of this series. I have wanted to explore the entirety of the Star Wars universe ever since I was a young girl, and the creation of the new canon (and related conversion of the Expanded Universe into Legends) has given me an opportunity to do just that.

Now, we can debate the merits of wiping the canon clean of the Expanded Universe, but I believe that it was generally a good decision. We lost some gems, like the short novels that painted a brilliant picture of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon’s relationship before The Phantom Menace, as well as the BioWare/Obsidian games, Republic Commando, and most of the history of the old Republic (many would argue the Thrawn Trilogy deserves this same consideration, though I cannot comment, as I’ve never read them), but we also ditched a considerable amount of junk, like the multiple resurrections of Emperor Palpatine, the multiple resurrections of Boba Fett, the multiple resurrections of Vader’s secret apprentice…noticing a trend?

My point being, the amount of material any writer stepping into the Star Wars universe would have had to work around (especially considering the complicated and contradictory nature of most of these works) is about as valid a reason as any to wipe the slate clean and continue forward with only the films, The Clone Wars, and future works remaining as part of the canon, a canon that I plan on going through in its current entirety in chronological order.

I will offer my thoughts, critiques, and perspective along the way, getting rather detailed at time (with no restraint on spoilers). I, however, do not plan on lingering too long on any topic that has already been written extensively about, like the failings or “fan-nitpicks” of the prequels, or the numerously extolled virtues of the original trilogy. Rather, as usual, I intend to provide an interesting, new, and ideally positive perspective on this media franchise that I adore.

And on that note, let’s jump right into…

Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace

The biggest failing of The Phantom Menace is its story structure, and that’s a shame, because structured differently, I believe The Phantom Menace could have been a strong film that effectively introduced us to the Star Wars universe. Lucas’s main failure here is not recognizing where the strongest part of his story lies: the story of Anakin winning his freedom on Tatooine.

While our visit to Tatooine is a detour from the main plot itself, every moment we spend on this desert planet simply works, even if the acting and characterizations aren’t particularly strong. Anakin is a kind and compassionate kid willing to do anything to help these strangers he barely knows, and through his skill and a little luck, he manages to win them the ability to get off planet, a gift that Qui-Gon returns by granting Anakin his freedom and taking him to become a Jedi Knight.

The strength of the Tatooine subplot brings to light the other weaknesses of the film, unfortunately, and the biggest weakness is that our perspective through most of the film is Qui-Gon Jinn, a boring, nearly invincible force for unadulterated good. In fact, this lack of character imperfections is common to almost all the Jedi in the prequels, as is their effective invincibility, but it’s more detrimental here because Qui-Gon is meant to be held up as the best of the Jedi.

Obi-Wan implies late in the film that Qui-Gon is actually somewhat of a rebel within the Jedi Order, failing to follow the specifics of the Jedi Code when it goes against his instincts and knowledge of the Force, and this glimpse into who Lucas wanted Qui-Gon to be makes his uninteresting nature all the more disappointing.1

Not everything outside of Tatooine is disappointing though. The lightsaber duel between Darth Maul, Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon is particularly excellent, mostly due to the prowess of expert stuntman Ray Park, who brings a ferocity to this double-bladed lightsaber wielding Dathomirian that is only ever matched by the ferocity of the Chosen One after his fall. His skill as a stuntman translates directly into the text, too, as Darth Maul easily dispatches Qui-Gon when facing him alone, and is only beaten by Obi-Wan (who does give him a bit of a fight) when he assumes victory and underestimates his cornered opponent.

This duel is also jam packed with emotion, too; Qui-Gon is facing off against the warrior who ambushed him that he only barely escaped from (alright, I’m stretching the text a bit, you caught me, but can you blame me when Lucas suddenly shifts from Qui-Gon being invincible to him being clearly and unequivocally outmatched?), and Obi-Wan charges in blindly after witnessing the death of his master, attempting to match Maul’s ferocity with that of his own.

I also would be remiss not to bring up the unfortunate racial coding of characters in this film, even though it has been discussed by other more thoroughly already. The Toydarians, and Watto, specifically, stick out as being coded Jewish, via a long nose and mannerisms, and the only Toydarian we meet in this film is a greedy slaver who surrounds himself with literal filth.

The Nemoidians and Gungans are also clearly racially coded as Asian and Black Caribbean, respectively, and are both portrayed somewhat negatively (though neither as poorly as the Toydarians). This negative racial coding is a shame, not just because it reinforces negative stereotypes, but because it also distracts from some genuinely interesting characters.

Watto, in particular, is a great character in his own right, as he is a greedy slaver who is also rather compassionate. He treats Anakin fairly well, encourages him to pursue his interests (podracing and droid construction, which I can already hear you questioning, but I will answer your question with another: how else could Anakin have gotten the parts to build C-3PO?), and shows genuine pride in his successes. In fact, Watto’s only failures in this film are being too greedy to allow Shmi and Anakin to both be freed by Qui-Gon, and not believing in Anakin enough, the second of which is actually fairly reasonable given Anakin’s podracing record.

Watto’s arc, where his greed and lack of faith costs him greatly, also exemplifies Lucas’ themes for the prequel trilogy. Watto’s greed parallels the greed of the Trade Federation, snatching power at the behest of a Sith Lord because they…okay, the Trade Federation’s motive here isn’t ever made clear, but given that they are otherwise representative of large corporations, it’s pretty reasonable to assume that they did this to make a profit. Watto’s lack of faith in Anakin (and the power of the Force, by proxy) parallels the Jedi’s lack of faith in him too, as they refuse to train him until it becomes Qui-Gon’s dying wish that Anakin be trained.

This theme of the Jedi being imperfect and not following the true will of the Force is mishandled from here on out, to say the least, but in this subplot Lucas managed to perfectly execute a thematically resonant story about greed, failure, and a lack of faith. If that isn’t a reason to appreciate The Phantom Menace (well, outside of the objectively awesome podrace), I don’t know what is.

Star Wars: Obi-Wan and Anakin

Obi-Wan and Anakin is a comic mini-series released in January 2016 that follows the titular characters as they investigate a distress signal on a frozen planet. After they crash land, they find two factions of humans at war with each other, the Open and the Closed (yes, they’re pulled straight out of a young adult dystopia novel), and they convince two people from each faction to help them investigate the distress signal together.

After one of the Open kidnaps Anakin to help rebuild some badass droid mech suits, Obi-Wan continues towards the signal and discovers that it was sent by a woman known as the Scavenger, who sends up pieces of art work from the ruins of a civilization buried under a field of toxic gas. While the Open converge on Obi-Wan and the Scavenger with their badass mechs, Anakin unites the youth of the Open in rebellion against the old people and builds a speeder that allows him to save Obi-Wan’s life in the nick of time.

Anakin then fixes the transmitter in an old ship, and Obi-Wan uses it to call for a fleet of Jedi and Senate cruisers by lying about the presence of valuable fuel, convincing a doubting Anakin to fully commit to remaining in the Jedi Order. This is interspersed with a series of flashbacks that show Anakin being befriended by Chancellor Palpatine, who is naturally responsible for making Anakin doubt the Jedi Order in the first place.

The first question you might ask about that story is if they ever explain why the Open call themselves the Open and why the Closed call themselves the Closed. But because Anakin and Obi-Wan are visiting a crappy young adult dystopia a la Divergent, that question is never answered. You can maybe argue that this is intentional, as a young adult dystopia is arguably an appropriate setting for Anakin to explore his angst about the Jedi Order, but it still falls pretty flat.

Like most young adult dystopias, the world-building details that make two eternally warring societies with names as on the nose as “Open” and “Closed” are left out. It doesn’t help that the message of the story surrounding this broken society is that needless fighting is bad, adults and tradition are dumb, art is good, and the only way to bring peace to a fundamentally broken society is for a military expansionist regime to intervene in the search for resources.

Alright, that last bit is far from the typical resolution to a young adult dystopia, and it’s actually fairly representative of the most interesting parts of the comic. See, this comic spends a good amount of time discussing the heavy bureaucracy of the Republic, and Anakin’s desire to do good outside of that broken system.

In the first issue we see Obi-Wan give him back his lightsaber and reference Anakin’s desire to leave the Jedi Order, learning in the last issue that he wants to do so because it will give him the opportunity to see the galaxy and learn more than the Jedi could ever teach him. He feels restricted by their dogma, and this is best exemplified in a scene where a group of Padawans whisper about Anakin being a slave to his emotions, causing him to lash out in anger.

Yet he quickly restrains himself after this outburst and agrees with their assertion, making it clear that his emotions aren’t restricting him: the teachings of the Jedi are. It’s only when Palpatine takes him on a tour of the lower levels of Coruscant that Anakin finally sees a way out, and the only thing that stops him is Obi-Wan showing him the power and authority that comes from being a Jedi.

Framing this result as a victory of Obi-Wan, the Republic, and the Jedi Order, is an interesting decision, given how hollow the victory really is. For one, it means that Anakin is closer to Palpatine’s corrupting influence, as Palpatine’s a sneaky dude who coerced Mace Windu into allowing him to make friends with Anakin (and would clearly use that influence to maintain that friendship against the Order’s wishes).

Secondly, we see that Anakin abandoning the Jedi Order would have meant that Obi-Wan would abandon it too, as he is committed to fulfilling the vow he made to Qui-Gon by guiding Anakin in the Force out in the big wide galaxy. The victory feels pretty bittersweet as a result, and we’re left to wonder if Anakin’s decision to remain in a corrupt system because he can do more good is the right one, lining up this comic with the thematic throughline Lucas intended for the prequels.

Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones

Within film criticism circles, Attack of the Clones tends to be derided as the worst of the prequels, and I tend to agree with that assessment. The Phantom Menace was sometimes dumb, and sometimes boring, but it took risks, and when it was going strong, damn was it going strong.

Attack of the Clones, on the other hand, is often very “meh.” Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty that works, and the chase through Coruscant is a pretty incredible sequence, but so much of the film simply falls flat, and it’s almost all because Lucas decided that bigger, louder, and more explosive was the way to regain the credibility he lost with fans after The Phantom Menace. That decision did not pay off.

The fatal flaw of Attack of the Clones is that Lucas mistakes spectacle for tension. The Battle of Geonosis, which pits an army of faceless clones against an army of faceless droids, may be a great metaphor for a proxy war between governments (as Palpatine is leading both sides into conflict for his advantage), but it is boring as shit. It starts by throwing a hundred Jedi into an arena to face of wave after wave of droids, but while Lucas hasn’t entirely continued framing the Jedi as invincible, he hasn’t done anything to establish the droids as a significant threat in any way.

Further, during this entire sequence, none of the characters we have any reason to care about (Obi-Wan, Anakin, Padme, maybe Mace Windu) are shown to be in any type of danger at all. And when Yoda shows up with a clone battalion to rescue the Jedi that have inexplicably ended up on the losing end, any attempt at tension is thrown out the window, and we’re shown shot after shot of gratuitous violence and explosions committed by CGI people against CGI robots while the characters we care about chase the villain back to his secret hideout.

The number of fucks I couldn’t be bothered to give about this fireworks display is honestly kind of impressive, considering that events leading up to the entrance of the entire Jedi Order are among the most tense and compelling action in cinema.

Our protagonists, Padme, Anakin, and Obi-Wan, are all reunited in a coliseum, and they’re forced to face off against three unique wild animals that pose distinct threats to each of them, all using only their wits, skills, and knowledge of the force. They each use clever solutions to break their chains and conquer their attackers, earning their success within the narrative and making it rather dismaying to see them surrounded by battle droids ready to snatch their victory away. Seeing the Jedi approach and fill the stands of the coliseum to save them from this fate is rather satisfying too, making it all the more disappointing that the tension fizzles out right when this supposedly “epic” battle begins.

Thankfully what Attack of the Clones lacks in tension it makes up for with intrigue. The main plot, which follows Obi-Wan trying to track down the bounty hunter responsible for an attempt on Padme’s life, is a classic detective story, and Obi-Wan’s investigation continually raises more questions than it answers.

The bounty hunter was using a Kaminoan dart, but the Kamino system isn’t anywhere to be found in the Jedi archives. Obi-Wan’s friend, Dexter, another great minor character, is able to point Obi-Wan towards the coordinates of Kamino, but this new information only proves that the Kamino system was deleted form the Jedi Archives, which both Yoda and Obi-Wan find incredibly troubling (sidenote: Yoda teaching younglings and being incredibly good at it is simply delightful!).

When Obi-Wan finally arrives on Kamino, he is greeted and told he was expected, and he is summarily informed about a clone army ordered by a Jedi Master nearly a decade before, only now discovering the bounty hunter Jango Fett, who was the genetic template for the clone army.

After an excellent fight wherein Jango showcases his talents as a resourceful bounty hunter, Obi-Wan tracks him to the planet of Geonosis, where he discovers a factory constructed battle droids and listens in on a Separatist meeting led by Count Dooku. And yet again, when Obi-Wan is captured by Dooku’s forces and questioned by Dooku in the best scene in the entire film (and arguably, the prequels), more questions are raised as Dooku (correctly) asserts that the Republic is under the control of a dark lord of the Sith, refusing to free Obi-Wan after he denies an offer to join him and the Separatist movement.

I mentioned Jango Fett earlier, but I just want to point out how excellent his character is. Temeura Morrison does a great job imbuing the man with a dangerous essence without ever making him feel downright villainous. Lucas also gets some credit here, as his inclusion of the small moments of bonding between Jango and Boba, his cloned son, really humanize this man who kills his own partner in order to prevent her from talking.

His death at the hands of Mace Windu also serves as a fantastic origin story for Boba Fett, who is forced to watch as his father is beheaded in battle. Also, maybe you think Boba being a clone is lame, which is kinda fair if you think clones are inherently lesser than non-cloned humans, but the retroactive canonization of Boba Fett as a person of color is really damn cool, and I think that more than makes up for it.

So, that’s all I have to talk about, right?

I have to talk about the romance…?

But…

It doesn’t work.

There ya go. That’s Jacqueline Merrit’s take on the romance plot in Attack of the Clones. Hope you enjoyed this piece and have good day!

Okay, well, look, the thing is, this romance is really important to the themes of the prequel trilogy, and it not working represents a significant failure on Lucas’s part that severely bit him in the ass on the release of Revenge of the Sith. How? It’s pretty simple. Lucas wanted a major theme of these films to be the importance of love, and the genuine strength that can be found in being loved by and loving another person in return.

And Lucas hinged that thematic throughline on the forbidden romance between Anakin and Padme, which legitimately should totally work! They’re old friends reunited under tense circumstances who return to the planet of Naboo, which holds special significance for them both, and as they spend time with each other the true depths of their feelings are unlocked. This romance is structurally sound, and it should be compelling, but it’s held back by one thing, and that one thing is not the wooden acting or Anakin sending multiple red flags (just because we see them doesn’t mean Padme knows enough to catch them herself; this is young love after all). What it’s missing is a character for Anakin to fall in love with.

Now, here’s the thing: Lucas clearly intended Padme to be a character, and signs of her being an interesting person with a unique personality are present in this film and in The Phantom Menace. At the age of fourteen, she was elected Queen of Naboo, and immediately following her successful term (a term that the people wanted to amend the planet’s constitution to extend), she is elected Senator and serves in the Galactic Senate until we catch up with her at twenty-four in Attack of the Clones as her life is being threatened by an unknown assassin.

This woman has significant political pursuits, and while she’s got the skill to settle a dispute, if she can’t reach a peace that’s alright, she’ll grab a blaster pistol and shoot a droid on sight, as evidenced by having personally led the team that secured the capital of Naboo from the Trade Federation. Everything about her screams potential, but when she and Anakin are romancing one another, she doesn’t display any of the depth this kind of complex history would give her. She’s just delicate, feminine, and beautiful, and that is the only reason we are ever given by the film for Anakin’s devotion to her.

Padme’s lack of characterization also negatively affects how believable her love for Anakin is, as well. While she is shown to be gradually falling for him, slowly flirting more and more until they share a kiss they believe will be their last, she never has a chance to vocalize why it is that she’s falling for him.

Does she feel like she can mend his tortured soul? Does she believe in his fundamental goodness, in spite of the danger he exudes? Or does she love him unconditionally, accepting him for who he is because of a deep connection they share?

None of these questions are answered, and as a result, when Anakin decides that he needs to return to Tatooine to determine the fate of his mother, Padme’s decision to join him feels meaningless, when it should be a decision that clearly cements that her devotion to Anakin is equal to his devotion to her.

Instead of a romance between two characters, we are given a story about a character wooing a symbol of feminine beauty who initially rejects him outright. That is a problem on multiple levels, and it sends the very kinds of mixed messages that can lead some critics to claim that the prequels are against people loving one another, when that was clearly the furthest thing from Lucas’s mind.

The Jedi forbidding attachment, and therefore romantic love in a committed relationship, is exactly the kind of philosophy that I think any of us can see as problematic, and Lucas was attempting to use that to get us to question the actual goodness of the Jedi Order. But because the relationship between Anakin and Padme is so one sided, and because it appears to be the thing that leads Anakin down the path to the dark side (more on that later), it comes off as a condemnation of romantic love, rather than a condemnation of the forces in the universe that conspire to prevent it.

But that is jumping ahead to Revenge of the Sith, and we still have The Clone Wars, Darth Maul: Son of Dathomir, and Dark Disciple to get through before we can even begin to talk about that film. So on that note, I will be back with my second entry into this series soon, and we will discuss the success of Dave Filoni and his team of incredible writers.

Critical Eye Criticism is the work of Jacqueline Merritt, a trans woman, filmmaker, and critic. You can support her continued film criticism addiction on Patreon.

1I don’t want to turn these articles into “How I, A Person Who Assumes I Know Far More About Star Wars Than George Lucas Ever Could, Would ‘Fix’ The Prequels,” because there is more than enough of that discussion, and frankly, most of it is pretentious, boring, and misses the lofty thematic and structural goals Lucas was reaching for when he created the prequels (ex: commentary on despotism that is more relevant today than ever and Ring Theory). As a screenwriter myself though, I can’t help but think about how easy it really would have been to make this film great. All you have to do is introduce us to Anakin before Qui-Gon and Padme arrive on Tatooine. You make room for this by cutting a good bit of early scenes on Naboo (cut the pointless danger of the planet core, spend less time in Otoh Gunga, open in media res with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan fighting off droids and trying to escape the Trade Federation ship), and you show Anakin’s experience of slavery, and his longing for freedom, turning his personal podracer into a symbol of that freedom that’s just out of his reach, something that he can only fix when Qui-Gon offers him help.

The rest of the film essentially proceeds as normal, but with more moments between Qui-Gon and Anakin bonding, with Qui-Gon representing the ideal Jedi that Anakin aspires to be someday (which clashes against his experience of the Jedi Council, who we only meet when they are testing Anakin and rejecting him from the Order). It’s a good number of changes, I’ll admit, but they’re changes that I think Lucas would have reasonably made if he’d had a good editor calling him out during the prequels, as they reinforce his themes and make his characters’ journeys stronger.

I didn’t have anywhere else to mention this, but seeing Watto homeless, destitute, and rotting in filth in Attack of the Clones is some damn poetic justice, Lucas drives home the point that greed leads to ruin with incredibly subtlelty.

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annwayne · 8 months ago

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The Safety of Jedi as a Cult

Otherwise said; Why Anya is how she is when I love the Jedi

I wanted this explanation on my blog, so here I go.

Readers of The Red Logs and observant followers are well aware of my cult trauma. And so, the parallels I make to the Jedi and cults in my writing is very clear.

What might not be so obvious (thanks to the very subject of this post) is my die hard love of the Jedi. So die hard, in fact, that I much prefer the prequels and everything set before thanks to the quantity of Jedi in said media!!

But why make the Jedi a cult if I love the Jedi?

At the origination of Anya's story, I could not answer this aside from "because the Jedi are kinda cultish." There are aspects that line up well, but there are many others that do not line up with cults in any regards.

For example, if you are a Jedi you are likely more isolated from non-jedi (categorized as behavior control), which is a metric that is used to measure how cultish an organization is. However, another metric is deception and specifically deliberately withholding information. While some subjects are not explicitly taught, there is no attempt to deliberately withhold information at a wide scale within the Jedi Organization.

(Keeping secrets for missions or not being as open about dark side information does not equate to "the complete obscuring of real history" of which is my point of reference for this metric.)

So, the Jedi are not a perfect analogy of a cult. In fact, a much better and clearer analogy of a cult withing the star wars universe is the empire. (here's a great post by drafthorsemath explaining how) So, why didn't I use the more brutal and accurate depiction of a cult to explore post-cult themes? The answer to this question is the answer to the above question; Why make the Jedi a cult if I love the Jedi?

The Jedi are Safer than A True Cult

Anya lives an idealized life, has idealized relationships I can only dream of, and thus can explore real pains within an idealized problem. She can process my trauma in a situation I wished reflected my own process.

That is to say;

Anya can still be loved by the Jedi. I have no promise of love from cult members that are family.

Anya can still find peace in the force. Religion and spirituality cannot give me peace.

Anya can keep her friendship with active Jedi. I cannot remain friends with members of the cult.

Because the Jedi are so much safer and so much kinder than the real life cult I escaped, assigning them as Anya's "cult" grants me catharsis otherwise impossible in real life.

Anya's Family Accepts Her.

Even if they don't understand her.

And that is the safety I find in making the Jedi a cult.

#oc lore #cults #religious trauma #oc: anya tougt

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first-impressions-gaming · 1 year ago

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Dying Light 2: Stay Human

Developed & Published by Techland

Release Date 2022

Tested on Xbox Series X

MSRP 59,99 USD

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Zombies and zombie as a ‘genre’ or elevator pitch have run its course for the best part recently in gaming. Many games tried different takes on zombies, most successful one has been The Last of Us franchise with a gritty, dark, serious tone (even though ‘zombie’ word is never used, the audience pretty much know that clickers are zombies), and when you look at storytelling-focused side you have Telltale’s The Walking Dead series, which is a fantastic franchise, and you have Resident Evil franchise of course which sees remasters and remakes lately. There is a sense that a game which deals with zombies to some extent needs to take a solid approach, maybe more of dramatic or grounded approach like The Last of Us and Resident Evil or more combat and action-heavy approach like Left 4 Dead or Back 4 Blood, because there is a clear distinction between a zombie game which sends waves after waves of zombies against the player and a game which focuses of storytelling around a post-apocalyptic zombie-run environment. With all these pre-judgments of what a zombie game might look like, I dived into Dying Light 2.

Dying Light 2 walks on a thread leaning towards a combat-action zombie game, I understand this since melee fighthing with zombie and NPCs are smooth and fun, furthermore, the atmosphere is superb when it is nighttime. When you need to travel to a location during nights, you will come across streets crawling with different types of zombies, if you make noise or be detected by them, more and more zombies will come and they will force you to flee by using parkour mechanics. Parkour system and verticality of the game really shine and stand out from rest of zombie games and games in general. If the flow of parkouring wasn’t flawless, the player wouldn’t give it a chance or bother to ‘try’ to like the game at all, parkour system is one of the selling points of Dying Light 2 and it is in awesome harmony with the combat, you fight your way in streets, you got on a car, jump to balcony on a building, climb to roof, put some distance between you and zombies, hide in some bushes so zombies won’t be able to track you down further.

As a disclaimer: I don’t consider this is full ‘review’, this’s more like first impressions review. Even though I put in 10 hours into the game, I am still at initial stages of it, with only a few skills unlocked with yet-to-discover locations.

What is Dying Light 2 about? I skipped Dying Light 1 therefore I cannot confirm whether this games takes where the first game left, the main character, Aiden, is in pursuit of his long-lost sister and he is determined enough in his mission to travel at least 2000 kilometres across the country. The game introduces us to the world in a prologue, where you explore an abandoned villa in a forest with your close friend who says he has gotten a tip concerning your sister, she might be alive in Villedor and you should take your chances and go there at once. The next moment we find ourselves in Villedor, and I am like ‘wait a second, so Aiden traveller two thousand kilometres where the world is riddled with zombies and a plague that spreads across the world and we, somehow, manage to get to this town just because our friend heard some rumours from 2000 kilometres in distance’, honestly this is not most believable opening, I get that, what I mean is this: Aiden does not talk about his journey at all, he must have encountered strange situations and hardships, it sounds impossible to travel on foot all this distance, yet he acts like it is not a big deal. Building a strong main character is crucial and it is vital for your audience to establish a close relationship with him/her if you really want to draw a 3D character with deep down personality and psychology. Aiden, most of the time, sounds like a B-movie main character with wanna-be heroic traits. Why does not he put his heart out considering that he must have gone to hell just to arrive in this town for a glimpse of hope for his sister? Personally, I expected Aiden to be more adult-like and tough to convince me that he is this determined main character who will stop at nothing.

Let’s get to gameplay, and then I’ll circle back to story of the game. Firstly, this game is almost 2-years old but there is still technical issues here and there that affect the gameplay and experience overall. There is this recurring issue, there’re many moments where the game switches from in-game to pre-rendered cinematics and this causes inconsistent lighting, environmental detail and character models, this is a core factor that breaks immersion, I would prefer in-game scenes rather than transition to cinematic cutscenes. Take a look here, when you interact with the character you immediately notice cinematic has a heavier blue UV-ligh and it is much darker than in-game just a second ago. When you experience this over and over again, it really bothers you especially in dark locations where my flashlight is lit, but it turns off instantly when the cinematic starts.

Check this clip in early-game:

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When an open-world game lets me be a jerk in a certain moment I just love it and I go for it. There is this campfire with people around it, and there is a newly-joined group member who will be introducing herself to the group, and I let my guard down and said ‘okay, I’ll go for it for real’. Killing an NPC or wrecking havoc on them aren’t the main thing here, it is more like ‘what could happen or what would their reaction be?’ As soon as I attacked them and killed a couple of them, other NPCs started attacking me, their shouting and yelling drew the attention of zombies around, and they climbed to where we were and attacked NPCs and I got out of there quickly. This is what I expect from an open-world mainly, an alive environment that responds to you and other beings. These instances are unique to the player because not another player might experience what I did at this exact moment, you have to be there and you have to choose to attack them, another player would stop by, listen to what she was going to say, and maybe interact with her or other NPCs around campfire, and they would be alive.

The scene I am talking about:

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You will ask “so what does Aiden do now that he is in the town?”. Let me wrap the tape to the beginning, it is unfortunate missions we are tasked to complete are not connected to each other that much, it feels you are simply fulfilling other dwellers’ requests without any relation to your ultimate goal here, which is to find your sister. Even when we come across people who knows or might have heard of our sister, they don’t talk openly and we are tasked with yet another mission, and spend our time that day to carry out requests of commoners instead of putting out effort into finding her. I’d like to draw a contrast at this point, imagine you are Joel in The Last of Us, would you be okay to complete cheesy fetch quests for some people that you met a couple of moments ago that you don’t know anything about them instead of rescuing Ellie? What I am getting at is that, Aiden isn’t that human-like (even though the sub-title of the game is Stay Human, pun intended, sorry), why is he okay being sent to basements full of zombies to grab some spare parts for some tech device when his sister is could be in his reach or even dying somewhere, his goal was to reach this town to find his sister but the moment he steps into Villader it is as if he forgets why he is there at first place. It feels like the game got developed and created, then the story was written around already-developed town. If Aiden lived in this town initially, heard about his sister later in the game and goes after her to find her no matter what, it would make a sense at least. Sadly, Aiden is such a 2D main character, you cannot connect with him, I played ‘as’ him for 10 hours and I still don’t know his story, and I haven’t had chance to get to know him all this time, I haven’t grown to like him. On one hand I felt as if I had this connection with the main character in Disco Elysium in the first minute, on the other hand I spent 10 hours playing as Aiden and am still neutral to him.

Now talk about game mechanics and menus the game offers.

In Map menu, the world map welcomes you which looks like a typical Ubisoft-like open-world map with icons all around the map for different areas, quest types, interest points, safe zones, and more hardcore loot zones for high rish-high reward missions. At first glance, the map may seem gigantic, as I explored the town, it felt more enclosed and tight-knit, for example an area (districts) is made of four to five streets and there is no fast-travel until mid-game therefore you are on foot travelling to everywhere, but it does not bore you, it is not a massive world like AC:Valhalla.

In Inventory, you see your main weapons, accessories, consumables, gear, all the usual stuff. You can equip 4 melee weapons simultaneously and can switch them during combat easily, you can mod your weapons for different situations and enemy types, eliminating the need to go into the menu just to switch to another weapon.

In Crafting, you will option to craft medicine, throwing knives, lockpicks etc. When you hover over these times, the game shows what parts you need, also when you hover over craft parts, it shows what they are used for and where they are commonly found. This is a nice touch that may seem a small detail to you but most of open-world games employing crafting skip explaining crafting material or resources and when you need certain parts you just wander around or explore locations to find them randomly, or you google it and find a game guide that explains and teaches everything about craft resources and where they can be found. If a player need to google such a basic info, that means you’ve failed to implement and convey essential info to the player. That is where Dying Light 2 succeeds, it is always welcome when a game explains and shows where they are commonplace regarding resources, straight to the point.

In Skills, you have two skill trees, Combat and Parkour. Each tree has its own level and XP progression, you earn combat points by fighting and killing enemies, and earn parkour points performing parkour actions. At the end of my 10-hr playtime, I’m ashamed to say I have only unlocked two combat skills and one parkour skill, and there are at least thirty skills to be unlocked combined. It is not that I haven’t played it enough, 10-hour in an open-world seems enough time to earn solid skills to get rolling, at this rate I would need to put 30 hour more hours to unlock half of them at best. As a player, I don’t feel I am progressing skill-wise enough to keep me hooked into the game to be interested in newly-unlocked skills and as such. The game fails at introducing new skills at a regular intervals, for example some games throw at five or ten skills or abilities at one time to player, and the player does not know what to do with them, s/he needs to learn and master them at a balanced rate. Dying Light 2 does the opposite, 10-hour playtime deserves more than three beginner skills. In addition to Health and Stamina, you have Immunity, which is the total amount of time you can remain in dark unless you consume UV mushrooms or replenish Immunity in locations with UV Light beacons (at night) or stay under the sun (during days). Immunity is even more crucial than Health when you are going in a mission in closed spaces, you have to make sure you are carrying enough mushrooms to keep you going otherwise your Immunity will deplete totally and die. Frankly, I find Immunity is a bit punishing even though I set the difficulty for Easy. To put into perspective, my character’s Immunity duration is around 5 minutes, in order to stay alive more than this period, I need to consume UV mushrooms, and when you are in mission you spend at least ten minutes or so, you are not only exploring locations, you are also spending time fighting and killing zombies, there are moments where I was in a narrow parking lot I was overwhelmed by a wave of zombies, I had to fight my way through them and find locked crates and open them with lockpicks, when you add all these on top of one another, you are going to spend at least 10 minutes and you just make sure you have enough mushrooms, otherwise the mission will be a failure.

A player being introduced to the world s/he is getting to know should be handled delicately, the first thing to convey to the player is why s/he is here, how s/he is related to this world, and you can build this via NPCs, companions, the environment itself, on-going experience and story. If the player does not connect with the world sentimentally, then collectibles and codex entries won’t matter one bit. So far I have collected 8 written mementoes, including personal letters and logs of group controlling the part of the town we reside in, and 4 tape recordings of ordinary citizens. You come across these items spontaneously and generally there is no actual reaction of Aiden to these findings. If the main character does not digest these material, then they don’t hold any value or weight to the player.

Dying Light 2 seems to have gathered mechanics of an open-world RPG, blend them together and baked it with ‘zombie’ flavour. If you ignore or set aside what it lacks, then the game offers somewhat pleasant experience. I can see myself putting another 5 hours and call it a day, just to see and give the story a second chance whether it will take me somewhere captivating along the way.

#games #gaming #game review #xbox #playstation #dying light 2 #Youtube

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papenathys · 7 months ago

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Realistically, I cannot discourage anyone from writing what they wish to, even the ones who have no intention apart from being mildly provocative in subject matter. My tumblr post is not going to stop any author who is genuinely invested in their story (nor should it).

Bringing attention to these issues in a nuanced manner is obviously encouraged. I don't think everything needs to be "own voices". That is a sure road to ensuring certain narratives never make it to the forefront, and also to absolving privileged authors, who believe it's the duty of the oppressed to solely do their own emotional labour. But if someone has good intentions and consults with sensitivity readers/people harmed by such practices etc (with appropriate compensation and respect), obviously that is a good approach, even if it causes small hiccups for new creatives.

(Side note, with reference to this recurring doubt of "Am I Qualified to Write About This?". I think perhaps what a lot of young authors need now is to put aside their aesthetic WIPs for a minute, read some non fiction, lived narratives of other folk, and speak to people of various backgrounds, with different life experiences. And then, to actually think about the arguments and stories– not just peel off the name tags and pass them off as their own.

It is the mark of a good author to be inspired by real life, without using the traumatic experiences of marginalized people as non-consensual worldbuilding fodder, especially if they are in direct contact with you. Look to the infamously disturbing case of Mineko Iwasaki vs Memoirs of a Geisha, and more recently, when an Indian web series appropriated the story of Yashica Dutt, a Dalit author and scholar, and won accolades for representation, while stealing her story without credits and humiliating her on social media. Anyway, I digress.)

I guess there is no clear-cut answer; you have to put yourself out there, and not be afraid to make mistakes, but if your intention is genuine and focused on mindful representation, you are likely to come out of it with a better grasp on research ethics, results notwithstanding.

Lastly, in regards to your question, I don't think it's ever really the themes that matter in modern publishing, but the intention and more importantly, the promotional angle. This is a HUGE factor, particularly in white queer books, where you often see queerness take centre stage while racial identities, and otherwise less palatable lived experiences are chucked out of the window. We have white authors pitching their books as retellings/reimaginings of real life racists + serial killers under the tag of "lesbian assassin female rage" etc. We have a very famous lesbian "enemies to lovers romance" exploring Catholic guilt and repressed queerness and a multitude of other sensitive themes, while the author remains completely neutral and tight lipped about the fact that her bully mc is a white girl and the bullied love interest is Seminole. And this is praised because yada yada, "dark, complex queer characters". We have twenty thousand dark academia duplicate novels that explore twenty thousand subsets of white female oppression at Ivy League-adjacent institutions, where characters of color pay lip service and are disturbingly relegated to the sidelines as token diversity or as offensive caricatures. This being the genre praised for its heavier, complex themes and almost mandatory queer representation.

TLDR; radical representation isn't radical unless it is inclusive. What are you centering in your representation, whose stories and whose complicated relationships with faith, culture and race deserve nuance...and whose doesn't. Are you only seeking to depict certain narratives as deserving of nuance, while silencing your critics? Are you respectful in the way you view topics outside of Western socio-cultural conventions? And most crucially, are your anti establishment, anti censorship works only furthering YOUR identity politics while ignoring those you actively harm? That is what you must ask.

**Trigger warnings for mentions of honor killing, rape and systemic oppression of marginalized peoples**

So many things in fiction and popular culture are just not funny when you are not white and more specifically live in the global south.

That astrology post by @timetravellingkitty reminded me how little Westerners are acquainted with our social realities. Astrology isn't some quirky indie holistic branch of faith for us, it has gotten academics and secularists killed, it dictates the oppression of marginalized castes, it has been a powerful weapon in dehumanizing women in our society. I have had female friends with a gold medal in postgraduate studies told to initiate wedding rituals with non-human subjects (including animals and plants) to cleanse themselves of impure astrological foundations from their birth charts. I have seen weddings called off and women being made to starve because of wrong astrological compatibility. Sorry I am not amused by your twee soulless gentrified astrology dark academia and pinterest posting.

(Brief tangent: Another thing that interests me is the almost gleeful joy invested in the marriage and forced relationship/proximity trope in recent fiction. Here, the governing fantasy revolves around a storyline where a young woman is literally being sold to or abducted by a man or woman with significantly more power in hand: for they can obtain her as a commodity. But of recent, this is being rebranded as feminism, as a young girl's sexual awakening, as freedom from the benevolently bland childhood best friend and a reawakening as a young Persephone under adversity, whereby the captive has to fix and educate their captor, and in return of emotional labor is rewarded with power and prestige. That's something so insidious to me, because all fantasies aside, what is so cute exactly about it. Women and marginalized genders are at a risk of marital rape because of forced marriages across India. Kangaroo courts and honor killings dominate when it comes to interfaith and intercaste marriages, to unions based on autonomy. Anyway let's go back.)

Dgmw, fiction is fiction etc etc. "Writing is not condoning" that age old sentence now parroted like a hivemind by white fiction authors across genres. But, in what conceivable way are we expected to react in the same way as your white audience, to your supposedly harmless fantasies grounded in ideas of very real, very uncritically romanticized social structures.

I literally don't give a fuck if you are a Libra moon, or that you seek comfort from personal rituals and escapist fan fiction. You do you!! God knows I like reading books about questionable topics and defining myself in easily relatable categories and labels too!! I'm not speaking against faith, or religion, or spiritual lifestyles of any kind, I'm speaking of the commodification and institutionalization of these spiritualities.

But I do care when white people come online on public platforms and rebrand these practices as a radical reclamation of power, or some powerful, unsanitized, "problematic and flawed queer stories" when their very nature is rooted in pseudo-science, misogyny and capitalist exploitation– in the real traumas of underprivileged people repackaged as fanfiction tropes and as aesthetic personality traits for Westerners and anti-rationalists.

And finally, coming back to astrology, in the words of Adorno (The Stars Down to Earth and Other Essays on the Irrational in Culture, 1975):

Society is made up of those whom it comprises. If the latter would fully admit their dependence on man-made conditions, they would somehow have to blame themselves, would have to recognize not only their impotence but also that they are the cause of this impotence and would have to take responsibilities which today are extremely hard to take. This may be one of the reasons why they like so much to project their dependence upon something else, be it a conspiracy of Wall Street bankers or the constellation of the stars. What drives people into the arms of the various kinds of “prophets of deceit” is not only their sense of dependence and their wish to attribute this dependence to some “higher” and ultimately more justifiable sources, but it is also their wish to reinforce their own dependence, not to have to take matters into their own hands.

Closer home, in the words of the late Narendra Dabholkar:

Yeah man. Please fucking think.

[Note: this post was written by a trans person and is inclusive of the experiences of trans folk, in India and abroad. This post is not grounds for you to segue into "gender critical" trans exclusionary bullshit.]

#all the best for your writing! do not interpret my words as discouragement!#replies #representation

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chaoticgeminate · 2 years ago

Text

Kinktober 2022 - Day Twenty Two

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x f!Reader

Rating: Explicit (If that was not entirely clear)

Series Summary: You’re a fanfiction writer turned novelist, which was great since it was the path you wanted your writing to take you down in life. What you never thought would happen was meeting the Javier Gutierrez, who you actively write smutty fanfiction about from his film with Nic Cage, and you especially didn’t expect him to have a crush on you.

Fast forward several months of dating, with a good chunk of your relationship being distance due to his constant traveling and having to go home to Mallorca, when he surprises you with a prompt list and a vacation planned around exploring it.

You haven’t even worked up the nerve to tell him about what you write and post to Tumblr about him as a character yet.

Notes: Going to be using prompts from @the-purity-pen for my meta as hell indulgence! There are feelings in this (I have no idea how they got there) and I may end up removing some possible chapters here and there depending on how I’m feeling, I apologize in advance if that happens because my brain is super mean sometimes.

Possible Warnings: Smut, Phone Sex, consent discussions

Phone Sex (1.5k)

It had been an emergency flight.

Javi had apologized profusely about interrupting but there had been some issues with the olive business back in Spain and the vendors were refusing to budge if Javi didn’t make an appearance, likely tied to Paulina and her brother but you had no clue since even Javi had been in the dark about any problems happening.

He left yesterday, after you two fucked like rabbits in his study, and you’d been writing notes and blurbs and tidbits of ideas for new fics or even new concepts for your novel series. The inspiration of this place, of this month, was unreal and you were glad you had prioritized time with Javi over everything.

Even notes in your phone had been unimportant compared to just being here with him.

But now that you’d had him at your side for so long, you lived with him and woke up with him, you missed him more. Which was stupid, you had him to yourself -basically- for three weeks and you couldn’t realistically be by his side every waking second of the day.

“I really am sorry-“

“Gabi, hey, I get it. You’re not to blame because the workers won’t talk to anyone except him, and I wouldn’t want you dealing with their continued attitude by refusing to contact him just so we could finish our trip out.”

“A vacation is meant to be a vacation, that is all, I wanted you both to have this.”

“I can speak for Javi when I say, we do appreciate it, truly. You have been a great friend, to both of us, and we know you only called because you had no other choice.”

“As soon as we are done I will get him back to you.”

“I know you will, and thank you for helping me with this. I hope he likes it.”

“Javi will love it, I promise you, I cannot wait to see his face.”

Your phone beeped and you glanced at the screen, your boyfriend’s cheeky grin captured on a picture taking up your screen.

“He’s calling now, thanks again.”

“Ah, anytime.”

Hearing Gabi’s excitement only amplified yours and you swapped over the call after carefully closing the drawer beside you, not wanting any chances for you to slip up that surprise before you were ready. Javi’s face was close to the screen when the video call connected and you couldn’t fight the giggle that left you.

“Cariño, you can’t teleport through the phone like that.”

“I wish I could, I should have brought you here, Solecita.”

“Javi we can’t be attached at the hips 24/7 no matter how much we want to be.”

“I miss you always but it is worse now that I’ve had you for so long without work obligations in our way.”

“I, uh, was looking over my contract with the publishing company. Gabi sent it to your employment lawyer to read over too… I can buy the rights to self-publish my existing novels and pay myself out of a legal obligation to stay where I am.”

“You mean… to move in with me?”

“Mhm, but only if you’re okay with that, I haven’t made a move yet because I wasn’t going to without consulting you first.”

“I was going to ask you what the legalities were with where you lived. I want you to live with me, even if you wanted me to downsize-“

“No, no, I had hang-ups in the past over the wealth imbalance but that was a me thing. You never once made me feel lesser because of it, that was my own mental block, trust me when I say that I won’t ask you to change a thing about who you are or what you have.”

“I love you, so much. I wish you were here, so I could show you everything. I want to see your face when I take you out on the boat the first time, when you see the pool and the cliffs… to sleep with you in my bed knowing that you won’t be across an ocean the next time I want to see you.”

His voice went soft and you set your laptop aside, watching his face as he looked away from you, and you couldn’t help but smile softly at him.

“Javi, I will need to handle the legal of things on my end but I’m- I am ready to move in with you. I took some time to just think and reflect, to talk with my therapist and my friends, and they reminded me that long distance or not there isn’t a set timeline for any relationship. That it’s okay for me to want everything even though it feels early.”

His eyes were round in disbelief for maybe half a second before he was crying, joyful tears with a smile that made you want to kiss him, and your own eyes welled over in response.

“I’ll let the staff know, do you want your own office for writing?”

“I would appreciate that, but you’re never barred from coming in okay?”

“That is- the same for you as well, even if I’m on a call, you’re welcome any time.”

Javi refused a phone tour, wanting to do one in person, and then he grinned in a way that was far from innocent.

“I am alone and have some time before I meet with the lead of staff, Solecita, if you were here I would encourage you to come sit in my lap.”

You couldn’t fight the thrill of excitement if you tried, adjusting how you were sitting in the bed, and it was a small blessing that the television stand at the end of the bed was there since you could prop your phone very easily into the groove and have both hands.

“Oh really, just to sit in your lap, or would you want me to be bare?”

He set his phone down with it propped up and you watched him lean back too, you couldn’t see much below the desk but you did know his hand was out of sight.

“Bare, of course, maybe with a flowy skirt so that I could fuck you and anyone who might walk in would be unable to tell exactly what we’re up to.”

“They would know, we aren’t exactly subtle, especially when I get so wet because of how good you make me feel.”

“Are you wet now, mi amor?”

“Just thinking of your cock inside me makes me want you, cariño.”

“Show me.”

It was easy to slide your hands down into your shorts, gathering the wetness before it could soak into your underwear, and Javi moaned at the shiny gleam on your hand.

“Play with that pretty clit for me, Solecita. You know how I touch you, close your eyes and imagine its me.”

“Fuck, Javi-“

You did as he said, closing your eyes and letting him croon through the phone as you circled your clit with two fingers, and Javi was panting into the speaker as he watched your face.

“Are you nice and wet for me, are you going to cum for me?”

His praise about how pretty you looked, how good he knew you felt, all of it made your body propel toward an orgasm that had you seeing stars and you knew he’d cum based on how hard he was breathing and the flush of his skin on your camera.

“Javi-“

“I’m taking a red-eye, I will be home as early as I can, and I will be waking you up if you’re asleep.”

Javi’s voice was rough and you knew he wanted to take care of you, to cuddle with you and stroke your hair and whisper words of love into your skin, he was an aftercare king. But the door was wide open for a conversation that you hadn’t been sure how to have with him.

“You don’t have to wake me up, Javi. You have my consent to do what you want to me while I’m asleep.”

“Solecita… you truly consent to me being physical with you while you’re sleeping?”

“Yes, Javi, I do consent to it. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up before but the idea of CNC is something I am interested in.”

“Only if you are sure, Solecita, I do not like the idea of violating your trust-“

“Which is why I trust you, Javi, you’ve been nothing but respectful and open with me.”

“If you wake up and don’t want me to continue you must safeword, do you understand?”

“I promise you if I don’t like something I will safeword, Javi.”

He nodded and a knock on the door on his side of the call made him apologize, likely shoving his cock back in his pants and trying to not look like he’d just cum, so you let him go and smiled at the small screen for just a second.

Surer than ever with what you had planned.

All Fics Taglist: @hardc0rehaylz @wordsnwhiskey @pagannightwitch @radiowallet @musings-of-a-rose @amneris21 @trickstersp8 @practicalghost @rominaszh @alwaysdjarin @alexxavicry @all-the-way-down-here

Just Pedro Taglist: @maievdenoir @beecastle @littlemisspascal @writeforfandoms @AynsleyWalker @lovesbiggerthanpride @MSWarriorBabe80

Alt Taglist: @imtryingmybeskar @fan-of-encouragement @grogusmum @sizzlingcloudmentality @deadhumourist @prostitute-robot-from-the-future

Kinktober Only: @nicolethered @katareyoudrilling

#kinktober 2022 #javi g x f!reader #javi gutierrez x f!reader #cw smut #cw phone sex #consent discussions #chaoticwrites #eventually i'll write javi a little rougher #but today is not that day he's soft right now

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ruki--mukami · 2 years ago

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How can my character get to know Ruki more during interacting? I know this man got his insecurities but like do you suggest something that might maybe make him trust the muse more. Other than exploring my muse with Ruki, I would like for my muse to get to explore Ruki more but IDK HOW???

💗Also love your posts so much keep it going!💗

🧩 Great question, and thank you so much for your words of encouragement! Truth told, it's not the easiest for someone like Ruki to warm up to anyone, but I'll answer completely OOC for those who want to grow closer to him. Here's some pointers to start out.

Just doing certain activities with him will probably build some sort of trust and relationship over time. Initially, he will be cold and distrustful for sure, but as he gets to learn more about your muse, so long as the muse is adequately respectful to him, he'll warm up over time. Even if he doesn't want to admit it, it's the little mundane things that make him want to protect and care for someone he's learned to appreciate the company of. Depending on the activity, he'll share more information about himself too.

A little dark, but offering your muse's blood or just creating an opening for him to take your muse's blood will unlock a sadistic and unhinged side of him. When he's bloodthirsty and in a desperate need to quench his thirst, he tends to act less reserved and say things he normally wouldn't say when he's just having a normal conversation with someone.

If your muse visits Ruki at the Mukami manor where he lives (or alternatively, gets abducted by him because he's crazy like that), your muse will most likely catch him having a nightmare. These nightmares are remnants of his past that still haunt him in vivid detail, and while he will most likely come at the throat for whoever shows him the tiniest bit of pity, just showing that your muse genuinely cares for him is enough for him to open up. Rather than pitying his past experiences at the orphanage, I suggest reassuring him through means other than words. Trying to reason with him after a nightmare, especially saying "I'm so sorry for what happened to you," will only agitate him further.

Talk to him about his favorite pastimes. Is there a book he likes? Is there a puzzle he's working on? Perhaps your muse can help him finish it, or even lend him a hand in the kitchen while he's cooking. Trust me, he will reward your muse affectionately if you help him with small things like this. Ruki tends to ramble, so while cooking or washing the dishes he might begin to talk about subjects other than the food at hand, such as himself and his own experiences.

All in all, your muse should try to be as honest as their character will admit. He absolutely hates deceit or feigned love thanks to his mother. In the beginning of all relationships, Ruki still believes that people, especially humans and women, cannot be trusted. Therefore, showing a down to earth and sincere side of your muse would eventually capture his heart. 🧩

#ruki mukami #mukami ruki #the admin speaks

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ventismommy · 4 years ago

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Bennett thirst? got it.

I have NEVER been into bennett but your post changed everything HAHA so i raise you:

it’s late at night, and you two are in a cabin together, wether that be for a camp or on an expedition it doesn’t matter- and you’re asleep, and he’s needy as hell. You’ve been flirting for a while and haven’t really figured out what your relationship is and he’s nervous ab it but he needs you. So he wakes you up and you get him off oh so gently in the dark. enjoy~ <3

-Seb (Dove <3)

I literally cannot get corruption kink benny out of my head smh

—————

After a long day of exploring Wolvendom- and flirting with Bennett, because he was absolutely adorable when he was flustered, definitely not because you had feelings for him, you lied to yourself- nothing felt better than retreating to the little cabin the two of you had found and fixed up. You’d already cooked some Grilled Fish skewers for the both of you, with some Mint Jelly afterwards, and washed off in the lake once Bennett had his turn, and now you were slipping into nightclothes, having agreed that the two of you would turn away from each other and having no idea that he was actually staring at your body with a bright red blush.

You’d long since gotten used to sleeping in the same bed as him for expeditions like these; it still gave you butterflies, but not as intense as the first time when you’d woken up accidentally tangled in each other’s arms. Bennett had refused to look you in the eye that day.

This time he curled up at your back, facing away from you. His back was pressed against yours, warm and comforting- comforting because it meant you knew he was safe, in that bed next to you in his oversized shirt and messy hair. The two of you fell asleep not long after, tired from your adventure, and Benny slipped into dreams...

“Mmm, don’t worry darling, let me take care of you...”

“So good for me, Benny, keep it up darling~”

“You can do it, it’s okay, shhh shh shh, I’ve got you-”

Your voice, running through his head on repeat. He didn’t know why the phrases you were saying made his head spin and his thighs rub together in his sleep, didn’t know what the unfamiliar feeling was beyond the mandatory sex talk he’d gotten from his dads, just knew that oh, he wanted you to stop flirting and just touch him.

Bennett awoke with a start, a thin sheen of sweat on his feverish skin and an ache between his thighs. Sitting up, he tried taking deep breaths, tried going back to sleep, tried not to stare at you, but nothing helped, and oh he was so desperate.

So, turning where he sat to face you, he gently shook your shoulder with one hand, whispering your name. It took a few times, but eventually you stirred, turning over.

“Mmm?” You hummed in question, not completely awake yet. But Bennett was too far gone for words, too needy, so he simply waited a few seconds til you woke up a bit more and then took your hand, tentatively guiding it to the bulge in his boxers. When your hand finally touched him through the fabric, he let out a weak groan and tightened his grip on your wrist, rocking forward into your hand a bit. “B-Bennett? What are y- oh?”

At that he turned bright red, embarrassed, but didn’t stop, didn’t let go of your wrist. “S-sorry- you t-tease so m-much- needed-need-” His words failed him when you started to apply a little pressure, palming him gently and watching his adorable little face. “Oh, I see~ don’t you worry darling, I know you’re needy- I’m going to give you what you want, I promise-”

You sat up slowly, pushing him down to lay on his back and leaning over him. You bent down slightly to muzzle at his neck, an indication for him to turn his head as you continued to rub him through his boxers. He gave soft little moans every time your hand pushed into him- he didn’t know what was going on, but it felt good, it made the ache go away, and he wanted more.

You nipped at his neck, making him gasp and shudder. And then, he started to rock his hips into your hand, slowly at first but getting more desperate by the minute. Before long he was panting hard, desperately rutting against your hand, and you had to push his hips down a bit. “Shh, shhh, slow down, my darling boy, relax, you’ll tire yourself out-”

“B-But it hurts,” he whined, struggling against your hold on his hip. “I-I’ve never- I don’t know what’s going on- I j-just want m-more-”

Oh, he was so pure, so adorable, that you couldn’t resist the urge to wreck him.

“Alright, puppy, shhhh, I’m gonna make it better for you, okay?”

He let out a pitchy little cry, nodding fervently.

“But we gotta go slow, dear, we don’t want to overwhelm you-”

He gave a little whine at the word slow, but seemed to quiet down a bit, no longer struggling. “There’s a good boy,” you murmured, and Bennett whimpered.

Sliding your hand downwards, you found the waistband of his boxers and tugged at it, pulling them down inch by inch til you could slide them off of his legs. When you did, you planted a little kiss on his scraped knee before moving back to where you were.

This time you were able to reach down and wrap a hand around his cock, slowly starting to stroke him. “A-a-ah!” He cried out, hand reaching out to grab your other arm for support. His hips twisted in pleasure, bucking up into your hand a few times as he got accustomed to the unfamiliar but so, so good feeling. And then he whimpered something that made your ears perk up in interest.

“M-Mommy, please!”

Oh, you couldn’t refuse.

Running a thumb along the slit at his tip, you chuckled to yourself. “Oh, baby boy, you’re already dripping...so adorable...don’t you worry, Mommy’s going to take real good care of you.”

Bennett squirmed restlessly underneath you, breathlessly moaning with every touch. Your hand felt s-so good, and there was this hot, tight tension in his core, and he just wanted to make it burst, make it go away.

“Relax, darling, it’s alright...I’m here, you can let it out-”

Overwhelmed tears started to stream down his face, and you kissed them away, each one.

“Bennett, dear, can you close your eyes for me sweetheart? Can you do that?”

He nodded with a little whine, closing his eyes obediently and even halting his movements.

“Oh, good boy,” you whispered gently to him while you sat up, pulling off your panties and lifting your oversized shirt. His hands instinctively flew to your thighs when he felt them on either side of his hips, and you let him squeeze onto them in anticipation, bucking uselessly into the air. And then you slid down carefully, enveloping his cock inside of you, and oh, the noise he made was just sinful.

“W-W-What is that- feels g-go-o-ood- hhhnng- Momm-my!” he wailed, thrusting upwards into that hot, perfect feeling. That tension was already getting closer to bursting, even as you steadied him and shushed him comforting my before starting to slide up and down, riding him slowly. “D-Darling, shhh shh shh, it’s okay, it’s alright, slow down now, we’re gonna take it nice and slow, okay?”

“O-Ok-kay, s-sorry Mommy, it j-just fe-eels- ah!”

You smiled softly at him as you started to pick up your pace, riding him juuust a little bit faster now. “You don’t have to apologize, p-puppy, it’s alright- tonight is about you, okay?”

Bennett only whined quietly in response, head tossing to either side. So close, so close- it got even worse when you started clenching around him, rubbing your clit in fast little circles to try and get yourself to that edge so you wouldn’t have to overstimulate him. Every thrust up and down was so agonizingly slow, dragging that perfect feeling up and down his sensitive cock.

“M-Mommy, what’s this f-f-feeling, something’s gonna- m’gonna- hah~” he sobbed, back arching and accidentally pushing him further into you. That earned a soft moan from you as your fingers and his cock made that same tension start to form in you. You kept working those quick circles as you rode him, getting close yourself, and your free hand reached upwards to caress his cheek. “I-It’s normal, baby boy, don’t worry- it’s a good thing- now just k-keep- hah- keep going for me, okay? You can do it, baby.”

When he started to cry a little bit more, you returned to kissing his tears away. And then, he started to sloppily buck upwards, getting close to reaching his high, just needing that final push- you clenched around him-

And he was gone.

“A-a-ah-hah~ M-Mommy, mommy, mo-mommy- I- I love you- I love you I love you I love you-”

You were stunned for a second, but quickly regained your senses. Did he just...he did... how do I respond?

So you decided to just tell the truth, quit hiding.

As you planted a few more harsher bites along his neck, you started to call out to him. “Bennett, my love, I love you too my darling, h-hah, so- good for me-”

And with that, you came too, leaning forward a bit before carefully lifting off of him. As soon as you laid down next to him he was scooting over to you to hold you in a bone crushing hug. “Y-You really love me? With all my bad luck?”

“Of course I do, Bennett...how could I not?” You replied, gently stroking his hair as you cuddled him.

#bennett

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cyndavilachase · 5 years ago

Photo

I’m Looking Forward Now 💖Thank you and good bye

So, it’s been a little over a week since Steven Universe Future ended…

I’ve been hesitant to write this, honestly, but I’m tired of holding myself back from properly expressing myself in fear of appearing overly invested in the media I consume, even in private. Writing helps me organize my thoughts and feelings, and I feel like these thoughts in particular may resonate with many, so I want to share them. I want to talk about what Steven Universe has done for me personally, both as an artist, and as a person.

I’ve been around since the day the first episode of the original series aired. I actually remember when Steven Universe was just a logo on Wikipedia’s “List of Upcoming Cartoon Network Shows” list, back when I was a freshman in high school. It piqued my interest, but when commercials finally dropped for it, I thought it was going to be bad because of the way marketing handled introducing Steven as a likeable character. There was still something about it that made me want to give it a chance though, so I went online and watched the pilot before the first episode's release. I was hooked immediately. I knew I was going to love it, and I did. I fell so absolutely in love with Steven as a character, and the world that he and the gems lived in. I became obsessed. I was always so excited for new episodes to come out. Little did I know what else it would do for me as I went through my adolescence alongside it.

As the show progressed, it was evident that what I wanted out of a western animated childrens’ cartoon was finally coming into fruition: this show was becoming serialized. There was continuity, there was plot, there was character development-- it was getting deep. It was pushing the groundwork that Adventure Time laid out even further (thank you, Adventure Time).

I will give credit where credit is due: earlier western childrens’ cartoons I grew up with like Hey Arnold, and Rugrats, among others, also touched on heavy topics, but Steven Universe was able to take similar ideas (and even more complex ones, concerning mental health and relationships) and expand on them outside of contained episodes and/or short arcs. These themes, which were a part of the show’s overarching story, spanned across its entirety. Continuity was rampant.

What did this mean? It meant kids cartoons didn’t have to be silly and fun all the time and characters weren’t just actors playing a part in 11-minute skits. Steven and the gems would remember things that happened to them, and it affected them and how they would function and play a part in their story. This was a huge deal to me as a teenager. I always wanted the cartoons I grew up with featuring kid characters to feel more. In my own work, I often felt discouraged when combining a fun, cutesy western art style with themes as dark or layered as anime would cover. I always thought it had to be one or the other because an audience wouldn’t take a combination of the two seriously enough, based on discussions I had with classmates, friends, and online analysis I read at the time. Steven Universe proved to me otherwise. This show was opening the door for future cartoons exploring in-depth, adult concepts. I felt so seen as a kid, and was inspired to stick with what I love doing.

I was actually very worried about the show’s survival. It was in fact immensely underrated and the fandom was miniscule. Then in 2014, JailBreak dropped, and it’s popularity exploded. Part of it was because of the complex plot and the themes it was covering like I mentioned, but also because of its representation.

I remember when fandom theorized that Garnet was a fusion due to grand, tragic reasons. Turns out, she’s simply a metaphor for a very loving w|w relationship. This was huge. I cannot stress how important it is that we continue to normalize healthy canon queer relationships in childens’ media, and Steven Universe finally was the first to do that proper. Introducing these themes offers the chance for a kid to sit there and ask themselves, “Why is this demonized by so many people?” I asked myself exactly that. Ruby and Sapphire were my cartoon LGBT rep. They were the first LGBT couple I ever ecstatically drew fanart of. I was dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia at the time, and they showed me that I was allowed to love women and feel normal about it. The process of overcoming this was a long one, but they played a part in my very first steps into becoming comfortable with my sexuality. I could go on and on about it’s representation in general-- how it breaks the mold when it comes to showcasing a diverse set of characters in design, in casting, and in breaking gender roles. It’s focus on love and empathy. Steven himself is a big boy, but he's the protagonist, and the show never once makes fun of his weight, or any other bigger characters for that matter. It wasn’t hard to see why the fandom had grown so large.

Fandom was always a joy for me. It was a hobby I picked up when I was in middle school, like many of us here did. I would always cater my experience to fun, and fun only. I only started getting more deeply involved in SU’s fandom when I had just turned into an adult. During the summer of 2016, between my first and second year of college, I drew for the show almost every day non-stop when the Summer of Steven event was going on and posted them online. This was a form of practice for me in order to become not just more comfortable with experimenting with my art, but also to meet new artists, make new friends, and learn to interact with strangers without fear. I dealt with a ton of anxiety when I was in high school. When I was a senior applying to art school for animation, I decided I was going to overcome that anxiety. I made plans to take baby steps to improve myself over the course of my 4 years of college. Joining the fandom, while unforeseen, was definitely a part of that process. I started feeling more confident in sharing my ideas, even if they were fan-made. I fell in love with storyboarding after that summer, when I took my first storyboarding class, and genuinely felt like I was actually getting somewhere with all of this. I remember finally coming to a point in my classes where I could pitch and not feel hopelessly insecure about it. I was opening up more to my friends and peers.

But this process, unfortunately, came to a screeching halt.

My life completely, utterly crumbled under me in the Fall of 2017 due to a series of blows in my personal life that happened in the span of just a couple weeks. My mental health and sense of identity were completely destroyed. All of that confidence I had worked for-- completely ruined. I was alone. I nearly died. My stay at college was extended to 4 and half years, instead of the 4 I had intended. I lost my love for animation-- making it, and watching it. I could no longer watch Steven Universe with the same love I had for it beforehand. It’s a terrible thing, trying to give your attention to something you don’t love anymore, and wanting so desperately to love again. I dropped so many things I loved in my life, including the fandom.

Healing was a long and complicated road. I continued to watch the show all the way up until Change Your Mind aired in the beginning of 2019, and while I still felt empty, that was definitely a turning point for me with it’s encapsulation of self-love. I was hoping James Baxter would get to work on Steven Universe since he guest-animated on Adventure Time, and it was incredible seeing that wish actually come true. The movie came out and while I enjoyed it and thought highly of it, I was still having issues letting myself genuinely love things again, old and new. It was especially difficult because cartoons were my solace as a kid, when things got rough at home. I remember feeling sad because the show ended, and not getting the chance to love it again like I used to while it was still going.

By the time Steven Universe Future was announced, I was finally coming around. I was genuinely starting to feel excitement for art and animation again. I wasn’t expecting there to be a whole new epilogue series, but happily ever after, there we were! Prickly Pear aired, and the implications it left in terms of where the story was going did it. I was finally ready to let myself take the dive back into fandom in January of this year. My art blew up, something I wasn’t expecting considering my 2-year hiatus. Following this, I was invited into a discord server containing some of the biggest writers, artists, editors, and analysts in the fandom. I had no idea there were so many talented people in the fandom, some already with degrees, some getting their degrees-- creating stuff for it on the side just for fun. The amount of passion and productivity level here is insane, and so is the amount of discussion that has come out of it.

I didn’t realize it at first, but it was actually helping me gain back the courage to share ideas. I lost my confidence in pitching while I was taking the time to heal, and graduating meant there would no longer be a classroom setting I could practice in. This group helped immensely.

I have made so many friends through this wonderful series, and I have so many fond memories talking to like-minded creatives, getting feedback and a myriad of sources for inspiration, as well as all of the memes and jokes and weekly theorizations that came about as we all waited on the edges of our seats for episodes to air. I needed this so badly, I needed to get back in touch with my roots, when I would go absolutely hog-wild over a cartoon I loved with people who loved it as much I did. Future has been a blessing for me in this way. I graduated feeling like I was back at square-one, but now I feel like I’m on my way again.

It’s 2020 and while I’m doing great right now, I am honestly still recovering from the total exhaustion that followed after graduating a few months ago, and finally leaving the campus where my life fell apart behind. Needless to say, watching Future was like looking into a mirror. Watching one of my favorite characters of all time-- one that grew up with me-- go through so many of the same things I went through not too long ago was absolutely insane to watch unfold. It’s such an important thing too, to show a character go through the process of breaking down over trauma and all the nasty things that come with it, and to have them go on the road to healing. Steven got that therapy. He wasn’t blamed. The gems were called out. The finale was everything I could have ever hoped for. The catharsis I experienced watching it was out of this world.

As I continue my own healing journey, I will always look up to the storyboard artists, revisionists, and designers that I have been following over these past 7 years, as well as the new ones introduced in Future. It's been such a joy watching these artists release their promo art for episodes, talk about their experiences working on the show, and post the work they've done for it alongside episodes airing.

Thank you Rebecca Sugar, the Crewniverse, and the fans, for making this such a truly wonderful and unique experience. Thank you for reminding me that I am, and always will be, an artist, a cartoonist, and a fan. Thank you, my followers, for the overwhelmingly positive response to my artwork. I have had so much fun interacting and discussing the show with you all again over these past few months. Steven Universe and it’s fandom will always have a special place in my heart, and it will always be a classic that I will return to for comfort and inspiration for decades to come. I am sad that the cartoon renaissance is over, but so many doors have been opened thanks to this show. I am so, so excited to see what this show will inspire in the future, and I hope one day I get the opportunity to be a part of that.

Goodbye Steven, thank you for everything. I wish you healing, and I wish Rebecca and the team a well-deserved rest. ♥️

-Cynthia D.

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eggrestes · 4 years ago

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ladrien fic recs!

there are SO MANY amazing ladrien fics i cant possibly cover them all but here are a few!

(all the ratings used are ao3 ratings)

((this is a very long post!))

FLUFF

Of Ivy and Sunlight by cyanise [ T, 1509 words, 1/1 ]

When Adrien takes to wandering the streets of Paris in ungodly hours, Ladybug has no choice but to keep an eye on him. Still, things are bound to get a little out of hand between two overloaded teenagers with a lot of love and not enough self-control.

a lovely post-chat blanc fic :’) it has a great flow and is just soft and so sweet and it’s just perfect. gosh i cannot really say more other than read it!!! also almost all of their other stuff is also ladrien so do check it out!

This can't be happening by PlaPla [ T, 6,467 words, 1/2 ]

Ladybug is unsure whether accompanying Adrien to a gala as his not-date is the best or worst thing that has ever happened to her. But when their table mates turn out to be none other than her long time friends Alya and Nino and with Adrien acting weirder and weirder she finds herself with bigger worries than an unrequited crush.

a djwifi/ladrien double date? hit me up! i love identity shenanigans, ball dancing, ladrien, and djwifi and this is a perfect mix for me. i know it’s incomplete but it doesn’t end in a cliff-hanger really, the part 2 is just a promise of more so it doesn’t feel incomplete! PlaPla also has a short oneshot of ladrien going for a motorcycle ride.

Falling again by emsylcatac [ M, 4,506 words, 2 Works ]

They had been dancing around each other for a while now, and while fifteen year old Adrien would have been ecstatic at the idea of dating Ladybug in secret, twenty-two year old Adrien knew better. But Ladybug wasn’t making it easy. It was like… she, too, was falling for him. And that surprisingly enough, she didn’t mind.

* * *

Or Adrien trying (and failing) to keep things professional between him and Ladybug when the two of them partner up for a mission. Older AU

things are a little steamy~ here (don’t worry, it’s only implied it’s very mild and closer to a T rating than the M) but it’s a great mature take on their dynamics! emsy has more ladrien one-shots in her collection of one-shots!

i'd love to go on a date with you by sae_what [ G, 6,480 words, 1/1 ]

Once it had been falsely announced throughout Paris that Adrien and Ladybug are in a relationship, Ladybug pays him a visit to turn him down gently.

Only, she doesn’t. And instead, she has a formal dinner date. With Adrien. At 8 pm. Tonight.

LADYBUG IN A SUIT!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. okay but for real it’s so sweet and also??? they are on a date!!! a rooftop date!! (too man exclamation marks oops)

Always Welcome by chatonne-rousse [ T, 1,683 words, 1/1 ]

Ladybug knows that Adrien's window is always open for her to swing by and stop in, whether for video games or a chat or, like tonight, for soft kisses and sweet nothings.

He loves these visits. His girlfriend is always welcome. Always. (Especially for kisses.)

Written for Ladrien June, day 8: bluebell eyes.

established relationship, pre-reveal ladrien. there is something very home-y about this fic and it’s all about the comfort and quiet that i adore about it!

Five Times Gabriel Agreste Caught Ladybug in His Son’s Bedroom (and the One Time He Caught Chat Noir) by agrestenoir [ T, 1,923 words, 1/1]

Gabriel Agreste keeps finding Ladybug in his son's bedroom. As a super villain and father, this will not stand.

this crack fic is... honestly so hilarious. it’s all through gabrie-i-am-trying-to-parent-and-failing-a-lot-agreste’s POV so it is so much ridiculous!

an uncurtain discovery by Missnoodles [ T, 4,684 words, 1/1 ]

When he returns from school on Wednesday afternoon, Adrien discovers the darkness in his own home. He struggles to come to terms with it. To his utter mortification and delight, Ladybug is nearby to rescue him.

(He does not discover that his father is supervillain. That will happen on a different Wednesday.)

Adrien is being a cat and gets tangled in the curtains on his window and it’s utterly ridiculous. all the bug and the cat tendencies make it funnier and adrien’s inner monologue is just a cherry on top!

secret valentine by a_miiraculer [ T, 12,245 words, 1/1 ]

this is the moment that we will come alive brace yourself for love sweet love, secret love

If Adrien had known that getting himself stuck in a tree would end like this, he would've gotten himself stuck sooner.

A drabble series.

i just,,,, don’t have words for how much i love it! it’s ridiculous, it’s cute, it’s funny, it’s whole-some and just ladrien. the writer also has a M rated multi-chapter ladrien kissing (no the M is very much real here) and a heroic adrien and ladybug one-shot too!

Those Benevolent Stars by peachcitt [ G, 23,696 words, 3/3 ]

“Will you come back?”

She looked up at the deep blue sky, as if she could somehow find the answer there. “I shouldn’t,” she said, shaking her head and looking back at him. But the stars were still there, caught in her eyes, and Adrien persisted.

“But will you?”

adrien meets his soulmate, a thief who calls herself ladybug. he falls for her, but she seems determined to maintain a space between them.

oh my god this au.... just no words!! it’s poetry and it’s tender and it’s about the yearning and just!!! perfect :’). Her current ongoing ladrien june fic is also akin to this (and the fic i linked before it) so do check it out too! (literally check out all of their works it’s so beautiful)

Flowers on the Window Sill by LNC [ G, 2,144 words, 1/1 ]

The first time Ladybug saw him, really saw him, the universe stopped.

this fic feels like poetry and it’s so lovely. LNC is always short and direct but it always hits right in the feels while also being hilarious. Her other ladrien works are just as good and i highly recommend going through them because it fulfills all of the ladrien needs (along with Reiaji)

whatever a sun will always sing is you by komorebirei [ T, 32,980 words, 37/37 ]

“I didn't think you'd actually... do anything," Adrien admitted, cheeks prickling with warmth. "I-I mean, I never expected... I didn't know you watched my interviews.” That definitely wasn’t how he'd imagined confessing to Ladybug.

“Of course I do!” Ladybug squeaked. “Uhh, that is…” She looked down at her hands, nervously turning her yo-yo over, over and over. “Maybe you’re not the only one with a crush.”

(After an unexpected confession, Ladybug and Adrien start dating in secret. A progressive character- and relationship-study quilted from drabbles, with the intention of digging treasure out of the cove that is Ladrien. Written using kashimalin-fanfiction's kiss writing prompts from Tumblr.)

it does such an excellent job at exploring this dynamic along with the characters. it’s such a sweet fic, each chapter short and fun!

ANGST

whose woods these are (I think I know.) by Reiaji [ T, 105,000 words, 25/25 ]

Four years after his future turns to cinders, Adrien is a servant in the house he was meant to inherit. Disowned by his father and abused by his stepmother, his days are filled with drudgery until he meets a masked huntress in the forest behind his father's chateau.

As his friendship with Ladybug turns to first love, he dreams of a future spent at her side.

Then, on the eve of the Princess's masquerade, he meets his guardian—and is granted a wish.

[Ladrien Cinderella AU]

Warnings: Child abuse, Graphic depiction of violence

this is absolutely gorgeous. it has so many troupes and so many amazing character arc and great build up and everything just flows so well. it left me in awe for weeks and i just. want to experience reading it for the first time again. look at this gorgeous art inspired by this! {and you have to read leonard bernstein too because LETTERS and LADRIEN and YEARNING}

i would do it again (oh, a thousand times) by bugabisous [ T, 2,266 words, 1/1 ]

Knowing you can bring someone back doesn’t mean you’re free of the pain of seeing them disappear before your eyes. He can’t imagine he’ll be able to look at her directly without replaying every horrifying moment when he felt her slip away in a puff of smoke.

When it happens once again, he already knows he’ll be trying again. He just can’t give up.

it expands on adrien’s feelings in the episode desperada (my beloved <3) and it is just ouch. such great angst, such great potential. the kind of tragedy that it offers is unusual for ml (it gets only rivaled by chat blanc tbh). to rival this angst bugabisous also has a fluffy one-shot :)

when the world gets too heavy (put it on my back) by Taliax [ T, 4,720 words, 1/1 ]

Chat Noir isn't allowed to cry over his father. But even when he's just Adrien, Ladybug won't abandon him.

Hawkmoth reveal hurt/comfort + Ladrien

the plagg and adrien bond written is just perfect, and oh this hits right in the feels :’) it hurts all in the right way. tali also has so many other ladrien works in all genres too

By Your Side by omniousunflower [ T, 4,361 words, 1/1 ]

(Angry and alone, Adrien waits on top of the Eiffel Tower for his lady.)

“So, how did my kitty get stranded up here?” Ladybug asks.

Groaning, Adrien pulls his knees toward his chest and presses his face against them. “Because he’s stupid and impulsive.”

“Chasing pigeons, then?”

“No.” Shame burns in Adrien’s veins, white-hot now that Ladybug is here to witness his stupidity. “I threw my Miraculous, and Plagg wouldn’t get it for me.”

post-hawkmoth defeat, and adrien is not doing well at all. i am cheating because it is post reveal, pre relationship but it’s still ladrien. this fic is a roller coater of emotions, starting from a slightly crack scenario to a cute, awkward, hopeful ending. More Than You Know is another of sunny’s angsty ladrien work!

Breaking The Rules (AKA The Ladrien Fistfight) by ThisKwamiNeeds_aNap [ T, 8,714 words, 1/1 ]

Marinette may or may not be dying, but she’s still going to do her best to fix every single problem in the world. She’s not expecting Adrien to be the one who tries to stop her. (Takes place immediately after Kwami Buster)

Warnings: panic attack, broken bones, PTSD. please read the tags!

*slaps this fic* this fic can fit in so much angst. it just?? left me in PAIN oof. it says ‘ladrien fistfight’ on the lid but nooo there is marinette is just having a freak out and it’s all so much??!! and it’s not just marinette there is adrien too and chloe and alya and- wow it’s amazing. love it so much it fills up my angst needs :’)

so that’s it for now! my personal commentary isn’t impressive nor does it do justice to the fic but i still hope you read a few of these!! happy reading!!

#ladren #fic rec #ml fic rec #miraculous ladybug #i know i dont do the fics justice but. oh well #lovesquare #ladrien #obviously check out the writers other workd too but this is ladrien so i am trying to give it a bit more emphasis #also i am so sorry i couldnt include more lesser known writers but unfortunatley they dont have ladrien uRGH anyway maybe sometime later!#i spend a lot of time on thi n got lazy so plz be considerate #also add recs if u want even self-promo is cool duh

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a-lil-bi-furious · 4 years ago

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Top 10 Friendships Involving POC from 10 Different Fandoms

You may have seen the “Top 10 Ships Involving POC” post circulating (I hope you have!), but I’ve been really emotional about deep platonic bonds too. So. I’m making a branch off of that post to give some love to some amazing Characters of Color and their friendships, too (in no particular order). <3

1) Scott McCall & Lydia Martin - Teen Wolf

This is a God-tier friendship. The growth?? The commitment?? The love?? Unparalleled. Best friendship on the show by the end. (I will die on this hill.) Also, the way this exchange is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen?

2) Landon Kirby & Rafael Waithe - Legacies

I am very emotional about these boys and their relationship. We were robbed of more brotherly shenanigans with these two, robbed.

3) Julie Molina & her himbos Alex, Luke, Reggie AND Julie & Flynn (yes, I’m cheating.) - Julie and the Phantoms

Look, it’s impossible to choose! I love Julynn so much. They’ve got this amazing foundation of trust and loyalty and love that fuels their friendship. But I also am constantly thinking about how the boys came into Julie’s life and helped her feel alive again, like there was hope again (and how she in turn did the same for them). And that’s beautiful damn it. All of these friendships are transcendent.

4) Winston Bishop & Cece Parekh - New Girl

Time for a Classic Winston and Cece Messaround! I really loved how their unlikely friendship developed into something deep and caring, and how it allowed Cece to explore a more playful side of her personality.

5) Bonnie Bennett & Damon Salvatore - The Vampire Diaries

Bamon has a lot of romantic subtext and they could easily be a couple. But honestly, I enjoy their bond as platonic so much more. The way these two started out hating each other, and their friendship was a real slow build until they were stuck in that prison world together, and afterward they were inseparable? I cannot express enough how much love I have for the depth of understanding and care for each other they developed.

6) Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid - Criminal Minds

I haven’t watched this show in a very long time, but I will always be soft about how soft Morgan is for Reid.

7) Ellie Chu & Paul Munsky (feat. Papa Chu) - The Half of It

I’m still not over how this movie really was like “all forms of love are equally valuable, romance isn’t the most important thing.” Like, it wasn’t really a romantic movie at all in the end. It was about showing the depth and importance of other forms of love and that’s a really lovely message. The strong platonic friendship Ellie and Paul developed throughout the movie was beautiful, and I’m emotional about it. (And I love, too, that Paul not only bonded with Ellie, but with her severely depressed father who we watched slowly gain hope again throughout the movie.)

8) Layla Keating & Tamia “Coop” Cooper - All American

Their friendship is honestly one of my favorite things. Like, it just...happened. But it feels really pure and good. It was important for them both, I think, that they wound up forming this strong partnership that simply started with Layla recognizing Coop’s talent, and Coop in turn recognizing Layla’s. They really helped each other grow even while both being in pretty dark places. That was really cool of them. I hope we get more good Coop/Layla dynamic in Season 3.

9) Raven Reyes & John Murphy - The 100

A+ character development, A+ friendship building. The Enemies to Friends was strong with these two.

10) Javier Esposito & Kevin Ryan - Castle

Taking it way back on this one. I was obsessively into Castle when I was younger, and one of my favorite parts of the show was Javi and Ryan’s “bromance.” It was mostly fun, them goofing around, but they had some really emotional scenes that got me good.

Bonus: Malika Williams & Alice Kwan - Good Trouble

I couldn’t find a single gif of them together, or even a non-BTS picture. But I love their friendship! Malika teaching Alice to not take shit from everybody is 11/10

Tagging: @welldressedllama @momentofmemory @daughterofluthien @capricornsicle @jodyjacksons and @donnas-troia (since this post is entirely inspired by her lovely “10 ships involving POC” post)

Absolutely no pressure to participate, but have fun if you do decide to! And anyone who isn’t tagged but still wants to take part, well, you know what to do... (go for it! And tag me so I can see!)

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winter-fox-queen · 3 years ago

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Fire Meets Gasoline: Certain With Desire

Chapter 3 of Fire Meets Gasoline fic. :) This one has smut! Fluff! Ezra being adorable and silly. Reader is blank canvass and no y/n. Reader is living in fear because she is scared of being pulled back into an abusive relationship…but Ezra is a temptation that she cannot resist.

You go home. Check the house. Wait for the call.

It’s almost worse, waiting.

No. What’s worse is Ezra. You keep touching your mouth, thinking about the taste and feel of his kisses. How the broadness of his shoulders and strength of his arms caged you but made you feel safe. How his large hands palming over your figure were almost as eloquent as his words themselves.

You pour yourself something to drink from the fridge, and stare out past the jagged bushes you had planted in front of each first story window, and into the gathering darkness.

You are not accustomed to this much sheer want. Want that makes you dizzy. Want that makes you stop thinking strategically, stop considering the smart move for your survival. That was what you’ve been doing, since your mother died. Surviving. You’d make one mistake in a moment of weakness, and now every day of your life felt like a game of chess.

“Oh, God, do I want him.” Your voice sounds raspy and desperate. You close the blinds almost angrily, walk around the house and close each set of blinds, curtains, until your home is small and safe again. You close doors and retreat, watching TV, reading, just trying not to think of Ezra, of that beautiful man you could be laying underneath right now (did he talk as much when he was making love?) curled around, right now, holding and whispering secrets with, right now.

“Fuck! Shut the fuck up brain. Please.”

Maybe some rum in this coke. Maybe a lot of rum, less coke. Sleep early.

But when you stopped thinking of the Man You Should Not Want, you thought of the Man You Never Wanted. You found your ear straining over the voices on the TV, listening for the phone. For a knock. For an engine in the driveway, revving once in awhile, letting you know someone was there.

Nothing.

You had retrenched to the bedroom, all doors between you and the front door shut and locked on this side. Cheap knobs on cheap interior doors wouldn’t stop anyone, but busting through would make a lot of noise.

Not that anyone could get through the bars on the doors. The kitchen window was narrow and hard to get through. The living room windows had bars.

No one can get in. Stop listening so hard. You’re going to drive yourself crazy.

You burrowed deeper in bed. And you wished with all your soul that Ezra was there, a comforting warmth at your back.

“Is that what you want?” You asked herself, turning off the TV finally. “A man to rescue you?”

No.

Then what?

Love. You thought Ezra — maybe he wasn’t your soul mate or the one, or whatever, it was too soon to tell—looked like the kind of man who would make the whole experience wonderful. Like loving him, and being loved by him, even if it was only a passing crush would be extraordinary.

“Why not? Why shouldn’t I have something extraordinary?”

And you day dreamed about him, remembering the day, remembering the things his uncle said about Ezra, and eventually you drifted to sleep.

Sunday ticked by.

Monday. No calls. You barely saw Gary at all. You go to the bowling alley, there’s a post it note on the machine that says:

Darling bird, I am afraid that our rematch must be put off another day. I had unavoidable business to conduct — if I could have put it off, I surely would have. I beg that you will do me the honor of utterly destroying me tomorrow, instead.

You were a little disappointed — you’d been looking forward to seeing him all day. But you couldn’t be too mad, not with a charming note like that. You carefully put it away in the day runner you keep in your purse.

If you were honest, you were tempted to go exploring. The boxes of books he’d pointed at but not opened, waiting until there was space. The guitar case in the corner. Ezra was a puzzle, and you ached for more pieces. But you behaved. You turned on the machine. Went around the corner to the restrooms and checked to make sure all was well, then came back, and started to play.

You never let yourself think, when you bowled. The point was no mindedness, breathe in, step, release the ball, breathe out while it rolled down the lane. It was how you found your center, breathing in the slightly stale air of the alley — varnish and old building, now lacing through with, perhaps, a hint of pine and citrus — breathe out the troubles of the day. The crying kids in the stacks, the lost souls, the gossip, the drama…

“It’s lucky Ezra isn’t playing me today,” you mutter as the ball ricochets weirdly and heads right for the gutter.

You quit early. It’s not the same somehow, today. You need to find your equilibrium again, and you have a feeling you won’t…not for awhile.

The next day is no better, until you see the familiar beat up truck in the alley parking lot.

“Ezra?” You call out, making sure the door is locked behind you.

“I am here, my angel, eagerly awaiting our rematch.” You go on in. He’s wearing an olive Henley, the waffle pattern of the fabric looking warm and comfortable, the open collar doing funny things to your stomach. “I have the scoreboard set up.”

“I’m going first?” You sit down and change your shoes. You wish you’d worn pants…you’d worn a skirt, which meant hose, and the hose were slippery in the shoes. You shrugged…you’d manage.

“Always. You are, after all, a lady. Excuse me…I have to go and retrieve my ball.”

You choose a ball, deciding on a heavier poundage than usual to see if you can use the weight to counteract your new tendency to let the ball wander around the lane. There are three pins left up by the time your turn is done.

“Your turn…what the hell is that, Ezra?”

He grins, holding up a large beach ball. “It’s my ball.”

“That…that won’t work.” It’s ridiculous, and you can’t help but laugh. “If it goes in…”

He gives you a dramatically insulted look. “I assure you, I know exactly what I’m doing. Now, if you excuse me, prepare to congratulate me on my first strike.”

“It’s not even going to make it down…”

He shakes his head as he aims. “Oh ye of little faith…” and releases it, carefully.

Predictably, it bounces more than rolls, hitting the gutter and bouncing up to hit the back board…then…

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” You say, as the pins fall over.

The guard comes down to collect the pins, and both of you hold your breath, hoping the ball doesn’t get pulled into the works, but it bounces away safely, rolling across the other lanes.

Ezra gives her the brightest smile. “You better up your game, beautiful, as I am now ahead.”

You try to look annoyed. “Cheater.” But you’re still giggling as you take your turn.

He plays like normal, the next round, but you get about the same points. The round after that, you start to pull ahead.

You take aim, determined to get a strike this time, when you feel his warmth behind you. You ignore him — to your peril, as you release, he runs his fingers up your spine.

The ball goes in the gutter. Two lanes over.

“Ezra!” You turn, fingers ready to deal out vengeance.

He holds his hands up innocently. “There was a spider. I swear.” His eyes tell you he’s lying, full of mischief.

Next time he has the ball, you step up and blow across his throat. He gutters the ball and turns to sweep you into his arms and kiss you soundly.

You’re the first to pull away. “It’s still your turn.” He’s too busy side eyeing you to throw the ball right, but he still knocks over a pin.

It continues like this, touches. Caresses. You even undo the top buttons of your shirt and stand in the next lane, leaning over so he can see your cleavage. There is only one turn left.

When your turn comes he pulls your back flush to his chest, his lips kissing your neck, his hands skating over your belly, reaching up to just under your breasts, his hands oh so hot on your rib cage. “You’re not even pretending now.” You accuse.

“I’d rather have you than win.” His whispers in your ear. You throw the ball and turn in his arms, pushing him backwards.

“How did you still manage to get a strike? Truly, your aim is…”. You push him against the plastic chair and he falls back, manages to catch himself as you straddle him, mouth claiming his, his hands help push up your skirt so you are pressed against the zipper of his jeans. You can feel him getting hard as you rub against him. You don’t mean to — you can’t help it. Can’t help wanting to explore his mouth, then pull away to kiss those freckles on his throat, to nip and lick, to pull out soft sounds from Ezra as he buries his fingers into your hair.

He pushes you back, gently pushes your blouse open more. “Do you mind if I get rid of this?”

You shake your head, the ferocity starting to die a little. He nimbly undoes the rest of the soft fabric, pulls it away and drapes it over the seat back next to you, His hands take the weight of your breasts, squeezing them gently, pressing soft kisses along the edge of the lace, then working harder, thumbs tracing back and forth over nipples, his lips capturing yours again as he slides his hands up to pull the straps down, you shift so he can yank them off you, move your arms out of them, as he moves his hot mouth down your throat, to push down the teal cup of your bra and take your aching nipple into his mouth.

“How are you so hot? Ezra, I think you’re burning me…”

His clever fingers unclasp your bra and throw it aside. He doesn’t answer, his eyes as they look up at you darker than sin, as he pulls you down for another kiss. His hands work their way to your ass, and he presses you closer, rocks, you, grinds you against the hard ridge of his erection, your nipples dragging across the texture of his shirt. You cling to him, wanting, needing some sort of release…you lift up a little, trying to work the button of his pants, when you hear someone banging on the door. You freeze and bury your face in Ezra’s neck, this time in fear rather than passion.

“Shhh.” He rubs your back and whispers so softly it’s more like he’s breathing the words into your ear. “There’s no windows. No one can see. No one can get in.”

Someone goes around the front, and bangs on the double doors of the front, the glass long papered over. You’re holding your breath.

After a long moment you carefully move off his lap. Grab the bra off the floor.

“And so the moment flees us.” He sighs and shifts. You sit on the plastic chair next to him, knees together, feeling vulnerable and a bit weird. What was he thinking? That she was a slut? Or…?

“I could um.” You swallow. “Do you want me to…”. He arches he eyebrows and then shakes his head, a gentle smile playing on his lips.

“No, sweet angel, I do not require any assistance.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind. I mean, you were just being silly and I attacked you like a starving wolf…”

He takes the blouse from the back of the chair and you move forward so he can retrieve it, “My sweetheart. I am not vexed at all with you. You are a goddess, a veritable treasure, and I will greedily take whatever pleasures you would bestow on this foolish man who only hoped to finish the evening kneeling before you in joyous worship and celebration of your victory over me.” He grins at you, and you feel your heart race at his words as he shakes the blouse carefully, holding it out for you like a coat. You slip your arms in, and he pulls the chair around and starts buttoning it for you.

“You truly aren’t mad?”

“It breaks my heart, how the men of your past must have been so unworthy, if you would ask a question like that.”

He takes your face in his hands. Looks in your eyes. “Someday you will tell me, right? Why you are so scared?”

You nod a little.

“And I want you to make me a promise? I’m going to be crude, I hope you will forgive me…”

“What?” You ask, a little wary.

“No pity hand jobs.”

You snort. “What?”

His shoulders are shaking, because he’s trying not to laugh. “I’m serious.”

“Well, it wasn’t going to be a hand job, really, Ezra. You should think more of yourself.”

“Alright, no pity anything.” He kisses you, almost properly, on the lips, and whispers in your ear. “Any act we grace each other with must only be because of the utter adoration we feel for each other. We are worthy of nothing less.” He pulls away and looks in your eyes.

“Are you real?” You ask.

“All too real, I’m afraid.” He sighs. “As I am sure you will have reason to discover.” He shrugs it off. “Dinner?”

You stand, tuck your shirt into your skirt, straighten your clothes. “Afraid not.”

“It is already after dark…”

You smile. “I know, but I have work to do before tomorrow.”

He frowns at you. Touches your forehead. “Hmmm.”

“What?”

“You don’t look so good, my angel. In fact, you look downright pale, but you are burning up.”

Your hand raises to your forehead. “I don’t feel…”

He shakes his head dolefully. “I think you need to take tomorrow off.”

“Ez…”. You get what he’s doing.

He playfully bats your shoulder. “Come on, sweetheart. Come play hookey. I can pack us a picnic, take you a couple hours away. Tomorrow is supposed to be the last good day before everything turns cold.”

“I…I haven't missed a day in ages…”. You admit. He gives you a large eyed, doleful look and you sigh. “Alright…what should I bring?”

“Nothing but your good self. I will pack a lunch fit for the queen you are, and take care of all the details. All you have to do is tell me where to pick you up.” You start to offer to meet him somewhere, but realize that you want him to know where you live. “Do you have a notepad?”

Thank you to you lovely people for being on my tag list, if you want added or dropped just let me know. <3

@grogusmum @mishasminion360 @hnt-escape @littlemisspascal @pedro4ever @writteninthestars18 @fromthedeskoftheraven @sharkbait77

@quica-quica-quica @eri16 @the-blind-assassin @ayoungpascallover-readings @songsformonkeys @sherala007 @evyiione

#TW: Domestic Abuse #TW: Stalking #Ezra x reader #ezra prospect #fire meet gasoline #pedro pascal

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inessencedevided · 4 years ago

Text

A very overdue cql/mdzs fic rec list

for @accidental-child

I am so sorry this took me so long Axel! The pandemic has really done a number on my time-management skills and things like this often fall behind :/

The fics complied here are the ones i have not recced in the list for @helianthus21 before. You can find that one here, so you can check it out as well :)

The Wei Wuxian makes a wish series by natcat5

My attempt at a summary: this is a madoka magica AU (which i had not watched prior to reading this fic). Cultivators, in this universe, are created when a teenager makes a wish to the creature named Kyubey, which than grants them their wish and the power to fight witches, strange and destructive creatures of despair that lure people into their labyrinths. Wei Wuxian, at the beginning of the story is not a cultivator, but his friends are and so is the mysterious new student at his school, lan wangji, who follows him everywhere and seems to be obsessed with preventing him from making a contract.

My comment: my attempt at a summary does not do this story justice and is really just a setup. Honestly i cannot put into words how much I loved this story. It kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time. It made me laugh, it made me cry for entire chapters, it drew me into it's world so much that I freaking dreamed about it! (I'm not kidding, I really did) Honestly, this fic deserves so much more attention than it is currently getting. Not only is the plot expertly crafted, with reveals that shock you and leave you reading, but the author also just gets the characters. The best thing an AU can do, in my opinion, is take familiar characters, put them in unfamiliar situations and then manage to make the way they react believable. And this AU nails that! The conclusion and the choices that Wei wuxian and lan Wangji make in the end felt exactly right. Not to mention, it has a stellar ensemble cast! Everyone is here (except Xichen sadly and I kind of think it is deliberate because without him, Lan Wangji lacks a support system). Again, I cannot recommend this story enough. It is, without doubt, my favourite fic series in this entire fandom. (Caution however: Do read the warnings in the tags and notes and take them seriously. They are there for a very good reason.)

Agapé (home is in your arms) by estel_willow

Author’s summary: Lan Xichen is in isolation. Wei Wuxian visits him. Together they find their way back to happiness, to clarity and to home.

My comment: This one focuses on both Lan Xichen’s and Wei Wuxian’s issues and lets them resolve them together. I am such a fan of their characterisations in this fic, as well as Lan Wangji’s even though he is not the focus. I love it when non-romantic relationships are the focus of fics and especially when they are central to the character’s resolving their own issues and moving forward in life and that is exactly what happens here.

until you're big enough by lostin_space

Author’s summary: Lan Zhan is sad and not hungry; Lan Xichen asks Nie Mingjue to help him.

My comment: This one is a really short and sweet read about how Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue parent the their younger brothers. I just really liked how the author portrayed todler Lan Zhan, as well as these two teenagers doing their best to be the parents that both he and Nie huaisang lack.

Night Music by Manogahela

Author’s summary: There is a music that plays in the night at Cloud Recess....but there isn't suppose to be. Lan Xichen investigates the mysterious dizi music that can be heard from the Jingshi at night following the Siege of the Burial mounds.

My comment: I absolutely adored this one, mainly for two reasons: 1. I love an outsider perspective and Lan Xichen’s, at this point and with his limited knowledge is absolutely wonderful. First, he isn’t even sure is what he thinks is happening really is happening and when he is sure, his feelings are, understandably very conflicted. 2. The author’s style compliments this fic so well. Since most of it happens at night and Xichen isn’t entirely sure that he can trust his senses, there is a certain dreamlike quality to it that the author writes beautifully. This fic is part one in a series. Part two is a WIP, but also very much worth the read!

Company by WithBroomBefore

My summary: In which Wei Wuxian is whipped within an inch of his life by Madam Yu when he is fourteen and comes to stay at the cloud recesses. He and Lan Zhan become friends.

My comment: My summary once again does not do this fic justice. Because it is so much more than just that. It’s such a beautful exploration of friendship and love and bodily autonomy. Wei Wuxian has a lot to work through in this fic, but really, so has Lan Zhan who has the opportunity to make friends at a much more mellow pace than in the novel/show and panics a little less because of it. The war still happens but has much less dire consequences. All in all, this fic left me with a wonderful warm feeling in my chest.

you are safe / loved / worthy / enough by everythingispoetry

Author’s summary: One of the more timid-looking posts, in pale greens and creams and yellows, says Hello, I'm managing to be fairly high functioning right now but I'm really not doing as well as it may appear, and Lan Zhan feels as if someone sneaked into his mind and read his most secret thoughts, the ones he's never even dared to admit to himself.

(In which Lan Zhan, to his own dismay, finds himself with the help of the most obnoxious, cheerful, cheesy self-care instagram account known to men.)

(And Wei Ying.)

My comment: Listen, I have a complicated relationship with fics that depict mental health struggles in characters. They are all so incredibly valid and I’m glad they exist (every single one of them, no matter if i like them or not) but due to the fact that they tend to come from the author projecting their own issues onto characters (which is NOT a bad thing! that is what fanfic is for!) they are often hit-and-miss when it comes to characterisation. But this story ... it just GETS Lan Wangji. If someone told me a scenario in a modern AU that leads to him developing an anxiety disorder and depression, this is what I would have come up with. Because let’s be real, Lan Wangji is a perfectionist to boot, insanely competitive and needs to live up to his family’s expectations, while also not having much of an emotional support system outside of his brother and uncle. That’s a dangerous cocktail in the modern world and just screams of a burnout waiting to happen. So Lan Wangji, off to university, living alone in a strange city for the frst time, spends all his time in a carefully calculated study routine but slowly realises that the path he set out on was not one he chose because he liked it but simply the one that was laid out for him by his background and family, which then leads to him questioning the reason behind what he does. That reads as incredibly real to me. A good AU, in my opinion, takes the characters and their inherent characteristics and lets them meet new and unique challenges that they never would have encountered in canon, which then leads to new and interesting character developement. And this AU manages that perfectly! (Plus, if you are a university student like me who sometimes suffers from crushing anxiety about the path they chose in life, this is insanely relatable. What? I never said I wasn’t biased :P)

porn (but not actually) and waiting (a lot of it) by hyacinth4maria

Author’s summary: Lan Xichen sighs as he settles into the couch next to Lan Wangji.

"What are you looking at?"

Lan Wangji, without pausing from typing the names Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian in the Love Calculator 3000, says, "Porn."

Lan Xichen chokes.

- Lan Wangji has a crush. Lan Xichen hadn't realized his little brother was growing up.

My comment: this one was hilarious! Just Lan Xichen being both absolutely exasperated and amused by wangxian’s pre-teen drama. I almost choked laughing at the line that coined the title. The author has these characters down to a T and they used their powers to attack my laugh-musccles :D

the field meets the wood by astronicht

Author’s summary: Wei Wuxian is a dark shadow in the barley. Wei Wuxian is sorry for the kind of compassion that he is about to hand out.

(in which Lan Wangji is stolen for salt, and Wei Wuxian unravels the world, a little)

My Comment: HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS SO GOOD. Do you ever read a story and just marvel at the author’s mind? This is one of those. The sheer genius of giving Wei Wuxian the ability to pull entire beings into non-being! The absolute galaxy-brain idea to link the canon mythology to modern astrophysics!!! Wei Wuxian creates a motherfucking black hole in this one!!! And it’s SO well written, too! The author does not shy away from Wei Wuxian’s sharp edges and his darker side but goddamn if he is not still loveable anyway. Just GO READ THIS FIC!

Abandon your post by StarsAlignNomore

Author’s summary: After months as Chief Cultivator and separated from his soulmate, Lan Wangji follows Wei Wuxian out into the world. He searches for him. He finds him. He kisses him. They reunite, they talk, they resolve. Sometimes Bichen lends emotional support. Chenqing bites. Little Apple is there too.

Your typical Post-Canon-Reunion-Fic with much more emphasis on their spiritual weapons than expected.

My comments: This one just left me with a lot of mushy feelings. Also I adore the way the author emphasised the relationship between Lan Wangji and Bichen. And by the end, Wangxian finally figure shit out through actual open communication. Absolutely beautiful!

#cql fic #cql fic rec #mdzs fic #mdzs fic rec #mdzs #cql #wangxian #wangxian fic rec #lan wangji #wei wuxian #lan xichen

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