#unable to help himself
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imagining Efnisien moodily lying in the rain outside, on the grass, while puddles form around him, and Arden's inside making comfort food or something.
And Efnisien's contemplating the world, and staring at the rain falling down around him, staring up at the clouds and the speckles of rain and feeling sad about something.
And suddenly he hears running footsteps and a 'yEAAARRRGHH!!!!' and Kadek appears and starts violently stomping into all the puddles around him with the energy of 4,000 people powered by gado gado or something, and Efnisien has no choice but to sit up and be like... annoyed and fond at the same time because it is pretty distracting from a down mood
#just little things#Efnisien ap Wledig#Kadek Setiawan#Arden secretly messaging Kadek#and Kadek just coming over and Arden being like#'idk just give him some space'#and Kadek like 'totally I'm going to join him in the rain'#and then seeing the puddles and being completely#unable to help himself
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There’s something about a vigilante x civilian pairing that will always have me kicking my feet in the air
#like yes clear the streets of bad men and come back to me all bruised and bloody so I can patch you up#giggling at 4 am as I type this- unable to sleep#when he’s afraid to fall for her because wherever he goes violence and death follows but he just can’t help himself#she can’t sleep at night until she hears him knock against her window/door#Jason Todd x reader#dick Grayson x reader#frank castle x reader
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just smile and nod y'all
#been unable to draw due to the horrors for a while and this is the first thing i can spit back out. eva my friend eva.#i'm sure i've talked about farkhad's situation with this ^ (he's the first brown haired monobrowed gentleman in this instance)#it's in his tag. somewhere. surely.#eva yan#she doesn't mean to </3 andrey just surrounds himself with a specific company#my art#eva. i missed her so bad.#pathologic#i was gonna add ''respectful'' in that list because i think farkhad is/was especially respectful in a gentlemanly fashion but considering#dankovsky [the 2nd gentleman in this instance] literally has a line where he can tell her he'll help her khs if she's too much of a coward#well i don't think it's fitting for him.
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compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)
meh HoT gifs (3/?)
#alek gifs#ninjago#ninjago krux#ninjago acronix#hands of time#time twins#alternate title to this series is : stuff i noticed after watching this season 10 whole times#okay actually thats a lie. i realized this the 3rd time around#i think of acronix and how he barely makes any decisions for himself and i go crazy#ppl equate that with him feeling forced to do stuff.. uh hes always been a follower guys!!#cue him calling wu “master wu” even after the twins betrayal. him liking machia bc shes “mean” and bossy#he has no issue with following orders lol. prepare for a long acronix rant one day#contexts -> gif 1 barely counts i just wanted to include him looking at krux. he does this a lot during that fight#gif 2 is before they kill blunck and raggmunk (idk how to spell their names still ... sorry)#gif 3 is before they were going to kill wu in the golden hour legacy short. which is canon !!#gif 4 is before they sent themselves into the temporal vortex#that one post that was like “are we still doing revenge? yeah? cool” bc thats basically acronix#there is something fundamentally wrong with these two's brains but idk how to describe it#krux who literally lost his mind after losing his brother to the point he adopted an entire identity#“he just needed to go undercover!!” counter point as soon as acronix came back he was unable to pretend to be saunders. he acted super weird#like when kai was in the museum he couldnt pretend to be this person he wasnt. acronix was back !!! so was he. krux was 100% going to kill#the smith sibs if maya and ray didnt comply. also.. canonly they knew him when they worked as teachers back in s3. he watched them grow up#and pretended all was well meanwhile their parents were being forced to work and slave away to build the iron doom. he is not normal#then you have acronix who thrives off of violence and is described as throwing himself into battle like a blunt object. has no regard#for himself as a person and just takes (almost) everything his brother says as gospel. s7 couldve done smthn really cool with how#the only thing the twins ever really disagreed on was technology. also ive went on a semirant about how krux's hatred for tech was misplaced#hatred for losing acronix. wanted to travel to the pre modern era? okay well whyd he pick 40 years ago specifically. also NOTE that they#went back after their past selves had lost. they wouldve faired better if they went and helped their past selves. also the reversal blade#had already fallen so when the twins went back in time there was two kruxes. he literally went back to when he had been all alone for the#for the first time. he went back to when his life was ruined and his brother was gone!! but he had nix with him this time . ughdhf
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Got busy this weekend and couldnt draw much so today I did this silly thing :3
Something sweet about the Prototype qwq I find it endearing those two would get so happy when the prototype is near while other toys would feel intimidated by them XD I will make more silly doodles about why Zero thinks so high of the Prototype in the future :D
Au by @asamary You should check their stuff :D!
Also Zero chirps when they are very happy (The only one who got to hear them is 1006 till now, Zero is a bit embarrased because he cannot control it but with 1006 he lowers his guard but also acts childish around him too HAHA)
#poppy playtime#catnap#sweet home au#poppy playtime sweet home#prototype#poppy playtime 1006#oc Zero Signal#poppy playtime oc#my art#I wanna put on a comic how zero little by little they managed and healed about their fear of other people and stopped being extremely#dependant of the prototype. like imagine he made chaos is hospitals or any other place cuz he would wake up from nigthmares of being back#and wouldnt be able to differenciate reality from the nightmare and would stop only by shutting himself in a room/closet or the prototype#assured him its okay then while healing the prototype made catnap one of his most loyal followers to met zero since he is very calm and#chill but funnily enough i like to think catnap just went. “im their favorite” and started picking a fight in wich zero got frustrate and#they ended up fighting and making zero come out of his shell a bit (the prototype totally knew it would help probably HAHA)#and catnap being unable to use the gas because kaboom with electricity HAHAH#in the end both got scolded zero should know better cuz oldest of the two and catnap for picking a fight HJAHA#also zero calls him my lord in a non religious way but more in like how a servant would call a duke or nobility kings etc#the prototype collecting kids with trauma like pokemon card
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Trapping these two in an elevator together. For research <3
#SOMEONE’S gonna have a breakdown#(all joking aside I genuinely want to see them meet)#(they both have such complicated feelings about their role/their rank/rhe admiralty/the men they report to/the men under them…)#I think little would look down on hollom for still being a middie. he’d feel bad about it but he’d think poorly of him for that#maybe he’d make one slightly mean comment at a officer’s dinner (that hollom wasn’t present at)#and immediately feel guilty and be unable to look hollom in the eye again after that#maybe hollom would go to little for advice and nedward’s like ‘uh. have you tried reading the articles. those are. good.’#hollom: and how should i get respect from the men sir?#little *does not have The Respect of the Men himself*: uh. the articles help with that too.#edward little#hollom#the terror#master and commander#(sorry anyone normal in the master and commander tag that you have to deal with my insane ramblings)
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Hey so you know that the playlists are my Byler Bible. Just remembered that THIS Mike:
Was singing
"And I want you. And I want you. And I want so, it's an obsession."
He also describes his love for Will as a religion. If you even care.
#mike's bassment beats#might just start making edits to songs on this boy's playlist tbh#stranger things#byler#st playlists#byler povs#mike wheeler#miwi meta#miwi#he is down BAAAD#oh yeah i'm obsessed with you you're my drug my guilt edged temptation and i worship you like a god btw#or whatever#and in a season 4-5 song he describes him as an angel#boy is DOWN. BAAAAAAD.#he did not get over his “OBSESSION” just because el came back i guarantee it#the song before this says he cant help getting over he no matter how hard he lies to himself#and this song is about him being unable to help falling into love#obsession.#addiction.#religion.
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🚬i hate you so much sometimes i wish you'd die...
Marcato Scott-Tanaka. age: 27-early 30s ish gender: cis male nationality: american ethnicity: haitian, japanese occupation: drug dealer
#ts4#sims 4#simblr#ts4 screenshots#ts4 screenies#kristen's.sims#*scottfamilygp#nh: evergreen harbor 🌳#s: marcato scott-tanaka#the older cousin!#he's elspeth's nephew.#in which she doesn't really like (well more so disappointed) because of his addiction to drugs & infidelity.#she's tried helping him but due to trauma/background issues. he's sadly taken advantage of her help.#he really only goes to his aunts house to see his cousins (which she also doesn't like 😭 but she quietly objects)#he likes doting on ringo because marcato actually has two kids himself. however he's never got to meet any of them.#his firstborn was a teen pregnancy and his most recent kid. he lost custody/unable to see him due to the drug addiction & being evicted.#he shares this apartment with his roommate. she's a gamer/youtuber.#dropped out. GED + did college for a short time.#he likes her vibe i guess.#flynn likes marcato! he's just scared of him 😭#cw: drugs#cw: drug abuse
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That quote that's like "ultimately you become the person you needed that time when no one helped you". Yeah < thinking about the hero's shade again
#thinks about Him (emaciated corpse wearing a crop top) and bangs fist on the ground#hero's shade#tp#he's so. guys do you ever think he wanted to help the next hero(es)#because he felt unable to help himself#you ever think he mourned himself long before his death#the child who died the minute he left the forest#hjdf. whdkfjdkfjslkjfkdjdsjflksdl
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An a/b/o mada/hika/tobi (in that order) something or other.
(Which I need you to understand, is not something I thought I'd ever be writing. But here we are.)
In this au high status alpha/omega pairs often take a beta or two into their household to act as an assistant/handmaid/servant/etc etc. which is what Hikaku is doing here.
The moment Tobirama enters the room, Madara goes stiff. At a glance nothing seems wrong, and Tobirama pauses, seemingly as surprised at the reaction as Hikaku is.
A closer look shows Madara's pupils have blown wide, which means this is probably one of those instinctual things -- what's caused it though, Hikaku isn't sure. A deep breath of his own mostly gets him a nose full of Madara's overpowering campfire scent; if Tobirama's is doing anything different he doesn't know the man well enough to tell.
It's… A little saltier, maybe? Nothing so extreme that he couldn't chalk it up to a shift in emotion --
"You're in pre-heat." Madara blurts.
Oh. Well then.
The exclamation seems to have shocked all three of them. Tobirama's lips part for a moment before his expression tightens.
"Apologies." He says, "It's earlier than usual. I did not realize."
They probably should have expected this, all things considered. Tobirama may not be a typical omega, but spending so much time in the house with the alpha he had recently married and consummated with would wreak havoc on anyone's biology. Or so Hikaku has heard.
"Well, what do you -- I mean --" Madara sputters, color rising to his cheeks, "How do you want to handle it?"
There's a brief flash of surprise across Tobirama's face, one so small it would likely be missed by someone who's not an Uchiha, but it's there. Almost like he hadn't been expected to be asked.
"…I understand that I'm expected to bear your heirs." Tobirama says at length, "But if it is an option, I would like to wait to do so until after peace is more stable."
Until he knows they won't be born right back into another war. Madara nods, lets out a slow breath of his own.
(Breaths in through his mouth, Hikaku notices, but Tobirama's scent still seems so mild, to him).
"In that case, I think it's best if Hikaku takes care of you." Madara grunts.
Hikaku feels his eyebrows shoot up to his hairline, and wonders if Tobirama is looking at his clan head with a matching look of incredulity. What Madara's asking for isn't unheard of, but for a newly mated couple's first heat…
"I'm not ordering you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable." Madara clarifies, voice rising in pitch. His face has gone a lovely puce, but he doesn't take it back. "Either of you. Use your best judgement! But if we're trying to avoid… That, it shouldn't be me."
"…Right." Hikaku says, suddenly feeling dizzy. He's not actually ever experienced an unrelated omega's heat firsthand. He's heard plenty of stories, but all they're serving to do in this moment is leave him feeling woefully under-prepared.
But. He thinks with sudden clarity. Tobirama is hardly the kind of omega you hear about in stories. In cases like these it's best to just…
"Well then. Tobirama-san." He clears his throat and tries to fight off his own rising blush, "How do you want me to help?"
There's the twitch of an eyebrow again, the barely there surprise.
"Boil some water for tea and bring it to my rooms." Tobirama says after a moment. He hesitates where he stands in the doorway, and the silence stretches so long that it must mean that he wants to say something more, but some pride or embarrassment is stopping him.
Hikaku has already given in that he's not going to get out of this situation (this entire arrangement, really) with his pride unscathed, so he forces a smile and asks, "Would it be helpful for me to bring something that smells…" He nods at Madara, who is all but hiding behind his hair at this point. Like an alpha, he means, like Madara, like your mate.
Tobirama tilts his head in consideration, no trace of whatever had been stopping him, which meant this likely wasn't what he had been considering at all.
"I suppose it couldn't hurt." He says.
Madara gapes open mouthed for a moment before ducking his head.
"Okay. I can just…" Madara pulls off his haori, looks at it pensively for a moment before rubbing the fabric on his face and neck. Hikaku politely pretends not to notice the way Tobirama is watching with rapt attention.
Seeing as how Tobirama is across the room and how Madara appears to be entirely resistant to getting any closer, he hands the garment to Hikaku, who fights to keep himself from making a face as he folds it over his arm.
It would be a wildly inappropriate time to laugh. Still, the urge is there.
Tobirama clears his throat.
"That should be fine." He says, "You may also wish to bring a book."
He turns and flees back to his room before Hikaku can ask for clarification.
With the omega gone, Hikaku lets himself sigh. Quiet enough that it doesn't draw Madara's attention away from where Tobirama just left. He looks like he's about to vibrate out of his skin.
"…Madara-sama." He says tentatively, and those dark eyes snap to him, "Do you think you could handle a patrol, right now?"
It's one of the best ways he knows to help Madara get his instincts under control, letting him guard his territory and deem it safe. At the suggestion, his clan head all but shoots to his feet.
"Yes." Madara says, and now that the mortification has passed his voice is so low it's almost a growl. "I'm going to -- yes."
Hikaku looks down. He has plenty of reason to be blushing right now so if he is, it hardly matters. He swallows hard and reminds himself that this isn't about him.
Madara takes a step towards the front door, then another before pausing.
"…Good luck."
Madara, too, disappears out the door before Hikaku can formulate a response. With him gone, too, Hikaku groans and thumps his head against the table.
This is what you signed up for. He reminds himself, you knew this could happen.
The possibility had been there yes, but reality has him feeling so nervous that his hands are shaking when he forces himself up to boil the water for tea.
Hikaku scowls at them. Trained shinobi, and here he is getting shaky over the possibility of helping an omega through their heat. Tobirama is the omega in question, so he supposes some slack could be allowed, but still.
He only has until the water is boiling to dither around, then with another deep breath (and the room still smells mostly like Madara even now) he walks to where Tobirama is waiting for him, tea tray balanced on one hand, Madara's haori and book of poetry under the other arm-- which he's still got no clue about, but Tobirama suggested it and he's just --
He's just… Here to help, that's all.
Hands full as they are, it's awkward to rap on the door, but Hikaku manages, and also to maneuver it open when after a moment Tobirama calls, "Come in."
The pale omega is sitting cross legged on the floor, a series of tins open in front of him, the contents of which he appears to have meticulously measured and mixed together.
"You can set the tray here." Tobirama gestures to the floor in front of him, "And-- hm. You may as well put on the haori."
Hikaku does not allow himself to make a sound of surprise at that, but he knows his face must be burning scarlet.
He really, really hopes that Tobirama isn't going to ask him to pretend to be Madara. Still, he pulls the over-large garment over his shoulders and shakily falls to his knees to sit across from Tobirama.
This is not how he'd imagined he might end up with Madara's clothes on.
The herbal smell of whatever mixture Tobirama has put together is strong; it too almost overpowers the sea-salt scent of what must be the omega's pre-heat smell, and it only grows stronger when he opens the teapot and dumps it in to steep.
"I would offer you some, but I can reliably inform you that it tastes abysmal." Tobirama says without inflection. Hikaku blinks.
"I take it that it's medicinal?"
Tobirama nods.
"It helps shorten heats and lessens their symptoms, among other things."
Oh, well that's…
Hikaku feels some of the weight leave his shoulders. However this goes, he can at least take some relief in knowing it won't be as bad as it could have been.
They sit in silence as the tea steeps, and then as Tobirama pours a cup without giving Hikaku the chance to do it for him. That taken from him, all Hikaku can do is observe and try not to fidget.
Now that he's noticed it, that ocean-breeze smell is really starting to fill the room. It's not a bad scent, he decides. Objectively speaking.
When Tobirama finishes, he sets down his cup without making a sound. Hikaku forces himself to breath, to not allow himself to grow tense again, because surely that will make everything that comes next more difficult.
"My heats are usually quite mild." Tobirama says at last, "With this, I'm often able to ignore them entirely, except for how they cause others to behave. Though the fact that its come early may hint that something has changed, I don’t anticipate anything too extreme."
"…Okay." Says Hikaku, throat dry, "How do you want me to help?"
Tobirama blinks, and now that he's looking, Hikaku can see the way all of Tobirama's movement has gone just a little sluggish.
"Just…Hm. Sit on the futon, for now."
Mechanically, Hikaku nods and moves to sit at the head of the futon. It's got a few extra blankets on it, he notes, but not the huge amount he's heard to expect from a nest. Maybe this is all a utilitarian man like Tobirama needs?
Tobirama sits next to him after a moment, purses his lips.
"… Stay like that." He says.
So Hikaku does -- stays frozen in place as Tobirama all but drapes himself over Hikaku's lap, loops one arm loosely around his waist, buries his face near his side where the fabric of the haori is bunched together. The omega shifts. Gets comfortable. Sighs.
"Is it true that you can smell me in heat and not feel the instinct to do anything?"
"…Yes." Says Hikaku. He thinks so, at least, because he's still not entirely certain what people mean when they talk about having instincts like that, "When I smell you I just… Think it smells nice. That's all."
"…That seems useful." Comes Tobirama's voice after what feels like an age, muffled by fabric "To not be ruled by your urges."
"…It has it's drawbacks." Hikaku admits, "I can't tell what a stranger is feeling through scent alone, and some social cues pass me by entirely."
There's a reason betas don't often enter the world of politics, after all. Entire conversations can be had just through scent.
"Hm." Is all Tobirama has to say in response to that, and then, "If you wish to pet my hair, feel free. Otherwise, I am going to nap."
"Oh." Says Hikaku blankly. "Alright."
For the moment, at least, there is no grinding or biting or leaking like Hikaku has heard often accompanies heats. Maybe if he doesn't draw attention to it, there wont be.
This, he supposes, is why Tobirama recommended him to bring a book. Which does come in handy, because Tobirama is apparently content to lay like that for hours.
After the first, Hikaku works up the courage to run his hand through Tobirama's hair, just once. It's soft, and the man doesn't respond at all because he is well and truly asleep.
After the second, Hikaku's legs start to cramp, but he remains still. This is well within the realm discomforts he's to handle as a shinobi, after all, and less than he thought he'd be feeling today.
After the third, Tobirama rolls off of his legs and blinks up blearily at him.
"If you're invested in helping, you could consider telling Madara to stop stalking back and forth outside."
Madara was --?
Well, he had been doing it unobtrusively to anyone but one of the best sensors in the world. To have done a patrol of Uchiha lands in three hours, though… Hikaku hadn't thought him so eager to return.
He takes a moment to stretch out his legs before making for the door. When he slides it open, he's immediately hit by the smell -- not just a campfire but spicy, now too.
Hikaku hadn't recognized the change in Tobirama's smell, but he's known Madara long enough to know what he smells like going into a rut.
They should have predicted this, too. After all, his new mate had gone into heat right in front of him. Personal feelings for each other aside, it would have been more surprising if this didn't happen.
Madara freezes from where he's clearly been pacing the corridor, eyes zeroing first on Hikaku, and then on the room behind him.
This, at least, Hikaku has an idea of how to deal with.
"Hold on a moment." He says. Closes the door.
"Tobirama.-san" He turns to the omega, who has been watching the proceedings with half lidded eyes, "May I borrow one of the blankets you've been lying on?"
"Mm?" Tobirama hums, "Ah. I see."
When he pulls the blanket out from under himself, Tobirama, too, nuzzles his face into it for a moment, before holding it out to Hikaku. He's decidedly less ashamed about the whole ordeal, though whether that's because he's currently in heat, or just because he's a shameless man, Hikaku can't say.
"Thank you." He says, and doesn't bother folding the blanket, because the moment he opens the door again and holds it out to Madara, the man snatches it from him, eyes blown wide.
"Do you need anything else, Madara-sama?" He asks.
Madara doesn't even seem capable of mustering words right now. He shakes his head, and retreats down the hallway without ever turning his back to Hikaku. When he finally ducks into his own room, all Hikaku can do is shake his head and fight back a fond smile.
It's a bit like introducing two cats to each other, he thinks dryly. But it can be done.
#the vibes are like. hikaku helps them learn to communicate.#while himself being unable to communicate his own feelings#not realizing that both madara and tobirama are communicating their own feelings for him by the crazy amount of trust they give him.#naruto blog for naruto things#oops! no writing tag#madahikatobi#madara uchiha#hikaku uchiha#tobirama senju#i dont. know if want to make this a full blown story. i feel insane for already having written this much#like. i am so neutral to abo. as a concept. idk how this happened!!!!!#hand over hand over hand
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so far it feels like all of the praise, or at least hype, for arcane is about playing around with the facts of the champions and not the actual meaning to their stories
im pretty sure this applies to other champs too but like theone foremost in my mind rn is everything to do with Orianna. people are going like oh, viktor will make her a machine! or singed won't be able to bring her back. Orianna's just dead or asleep in stasis and this is not at all the clockwork girl who tried to befriend an amusement park automaton because she was so lonely
it feels like this with warwick, with viktor, jayce even ekko and kinda jinx — season 2 has been nothing but. playground toys. make-believe in the sandbox. action figures are being mashed together but nothing of what made these characters Themselves is actually. Here.
idk it's 2 in the morning. this endless stream of praise is just bewildering. how haven't anyone else's brains been turned to mush by the rapidfire bullshit going on in each episode? shit just happens and there's no emotional weight to any of it. there's no time. off to mark the next thing on the checklist
ugh
#arcane crit#more like venting tbh i fucking hate it here#vent#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 spoilers#it's like. looking at people making all these wacky theories#about a character youve sunk so much time and thought into#and seeing them fundamentally misunderstand what you know to be something very articulate and meaningful in its own right#it's like seeing people say TFGraves had no hints of romantic themes or that they were Just Friends#when you Know tf basically killed himself after seeing all his friends die and being unable to save graves#when you Know graves was metaphorically tripping over his own feet giggling at annoying TF#feeling butterflies when TF expresses concern for him#you know those two are Devoted to each other and then people insist graves has the hots for vayne. like what? huh??#obvs that one is rooted in homophobia but the like complete misalignment of what you perceive to be reality and what they perceive it to be#i feel like im going insane and it doesnt help when arcane fans respond to crit or disagreements with 'you just don't get it.'#'it's show don't tell.' bro theyre not showing us anything#ugh im gonna stop now i just needed to let this out#im trying to focus on the positives bec i do think singed is being done Very well#but like he's the only positive and thats Not Great
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An AU in which Arthas won, but finds trouble when the Banshee Queen teams up with the Shadowreaper. Both are deeply troubled beings trying to come to terms with the lives they've lost, and both dream of clawing Arthas' face off at the very very least.
#world of warcraft#anduin wrynn#warcraft#sylvanas windrunner#varian wrynn#IM GONNA WRITE THIS STORY ONE DAY I SWEAR#I just look theyre both broken souls who struggle with what the world has done to them and in this story they slowly grow to find#a weird comfort in eachother.#And it starts off hostile with Anduin just recently escaped arthas and unable to control himself and his feelings and Sylvanas wanting noth#ing to do with a child#but then she sees herself in him and tries to help him because like were all in this together and also she can help him kill arthas#anyway#i have lots of ideas for it#arthas at one point sends out varian to try and stop them and Anduin fights his father to steal control from arthas
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fucking Obsessed with the dialogue in the RE4make ending showcasing just how layered one sentence can be. when Leon turns down Ashley’s offer to put him on security detail, he’s not actually suggesting that the president’s fucking daughter doesn’t need security detail. there’s so damn much going on in that one line of dialogue alone.
what he says: “You don’t need me.” what he means: “I’m not even here under my own free will; there’s no chance in hell they’d transfer me. But even if there is the slightest possibility that you could actually help, I don’t want you to worry about it, so I won’t say anything.”
what he says: “You don’t need me.” what he means: “If I take my eyes off of bioterror for even a second, I’ll never be able to bring myself to go back. And I can’t afford to do that.”
what he says: “You don’t need me.” what he means: “Sherry needed me after we escaped together, and I’m pretty sure I fucked that up. I couldn’t bear to ruin the life of another tiny blonde girl.”
what he says: “You don’t need me.” what he means: “I’m probably fucking worthless outside of a life-and-death bioterror situation.”
what he says: “You don’t need me.” what he means: “The more you feel that you need me in order to cope with what’s happened to us here, the more you actually will need me, and I don’t want that for you.”
what he says: “You don’t need me.” what he means: “I genuinely believe you can heal from this and go on to live a normal life. I couldn’t.”
what he says: “You don’t need me.” what he means: “I wouldn’t have made it out of here without you, either.”
what he says: “You don’t need me.” what he means: “I’m so fucking proud of you.”
#resident evil#resident evil 4#leon kennedy#ashley graham#meta analysis#*BANGS POTS AND PANS TOGETHER*#WHEN LEON SITS DOWN NEXT TO ASHLEY'S BED AT THE VERY END OF CHAPTER 13 AND CHECKS HIS GUN#HE'S MAKING SURE HE HAS A ROUND CHAMBERED TO KILL HIMSELF WITH IF HE STARTS TO TURN BEFORE SHE WAKES UP#BECAUSE EVEN IF HE CAN'T SAVE HER HE REFUSES TO LET HIMSELF HURT HER#(and some dumbass part of him probably hopes that if he were to kill himself maybe ada might actually do something to help ashley)#(but that's a different post for a different time)#ANYWAY THE POINT IS#if at any point he became unable to save ashley or if she were to have become unsaveable#leon would have eaten a fucking bullet#he was never going to leave without her#he needed her as much as she needed him#and her grit and her courage and her determination was what got him through#but he knows that they can't be together once they get home#because he doesn't want to complicate her life just by virtue of fucking being in it#because he wants her to be independent#and needs her to be Okay#and so they both have to find a way to move forward without the other#FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT LEON COURTED THE IDEA OF SUICIDE IN RE2 AND THOSE THOUGHTS NEVER EXACTLY WENT AWAY#wait that reminder isn't friendly at all#oh well
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Was re-listening to the Cavia rank up dialogues and before Rank 5, Fibonacci tells us to look after Loid and to "make sure the poor thing doesn't self flagellate too much, you know how he is" and that made me think about Fibonacci having insight about others...
Like Euleria. He not only knew of her existence but also knew her enough as a person to make an assessment of her personality and to deduce that her mannerisms come from Loid.
I know Albrecht just consigned the Cavia to Loid but did Loid just keep them as pets!? Or was Euleria allowed in the labs initially so Fibonacci could watch the Entratis converse and observe Euleria as a person...
#wf tag#also that comment about self flagellation and Loid being unable to help Kalymos#i wonder if Albrecht doing /something/ to her was 50% because he wanted to keep Kalymos#and 50% because he couldnt bear to look how Loid would beat himself up over being unable to help Kalymos#yknow Albrecht cares but in such an alien (orokin) way you might not realize it
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i need all future comics writers of frank (and anyone on DDBA) to stop trying to write him as a guy who had a normal childhood and was always just kinda Like That. or that he was simply destined to become the punisher, but that’s kind of a separate topic.
people who go into the military at 18 rarely have normal childhoods, they are often raised in abusive environments that are normalized. the urge to go into the military typically does not come from people who aren’t used to some form of abuse, because why would you willingly want to go into that? unless you are susceptible to indoctrination toward having faith in a system from a young age and aren’t able to discern the red flags? the military system preys on poor young men in particular by scouting them and offering all these bells and whistles (free college, healthcare, community) and feelings of importance, but then just forgets about them afterward.
side note: it’s actually such a disservice to many veterans to forget about how the military is an abusive system. it literally strips you of everything with no help in reintegrating back into society (other than by members of the same community). i get TPS1 tried to do something with this but dropped the ball. it feels like many writers just use his marine background as some sort of fun fact that only comes into play with certain things, but it very much shapes who you are and changes your identity. it’s a very cult-like system.
many people who want to serve are related to others who have prior. many people (especially men) who want to serve at that age have an underlying need that they think can be met. many people are brainwashed by military propaganda and believe it is the right thing to do. especially when it comes to religion, there’s this idea of men using their bodies to protect the innocent that goes back hundreds of years, and this idea of serving god, which we see young francis try to do in two ways. (side note: why do they keep removing his religious background? i liked the nod to it in the nmcu but it seems modern comics writers (looking at you jason aaron) just forget this?) besides, the functions of religion for people are very similar to the functions of the military as far as members go, namely community and a sense of greater purpose.
to me, as a reader/watcher, threads of probable abuse history are present in frank’s character, and i wish we had a writer brave enough to write about it. why else would he care so much about innocents and victims? why else would he become suicidal and guilt stricken when he hurts an innocent? it makes you think: was there no one who protected him or someone else he knew?
and this may not mean anything but idk i think he’s so much more tragic and juicy if you look at him like someone who is not the perfect victim (and maybe doesn’t even recognize their abuse) but someone who instead of healing and becoming soft, becomes angry and violent afterward. trauma, especially repeated trauma, does not effect people all the same way and i really wish they would just be bold enough to work with that. i get trying to piss off the alt right but completely changing the character to fit the same stereotype of a ‘psychopath’ (which is an outdated term) as they do in horror movies about killer children is just poor writing. again, talking about punisher 2022, but this was kinda in nmcu too. and sure yeah they’ve retired his character (but not the punisher….? ok) in the comics, but for when he inevitably does come back, yeah.
#and i’m not a huge fan of ennis but i think tyger was fairly well written but that’s MAX so it’s separate#especially since it’s saying he was a child in the 1960s which would be different than growing up in the 80s as in NMCU#and same thing for comics like they could do a miniseries on his real childhood in order to retcon what happened in 2022#but i think him witnessing a traumatic event or having multiple traumas in childhood fits his character#especially when it comes to the whole ‘no authority figures did anything so he took matters into his own hands’#the types of people who go into cults have prior indicators in childhood#mfer went it seminary and still sometimes seeks out his rosary… something something fathers and masters#something something guiding force#also the military is a very culty system and so is catholicism so it's interesting nobody has done anything with that#but the idea that he was searching for community and brotherhood to some degree is not that far fetched#which is why he latched so hard onto his family and became utterly unable to attach himself to others out of fear#a person with good attachment wouldn’t react like this and yeah he’s unhealthy but that rarely comes from just being Like That#so i am begging once again for people to stop retconning his past#i also think reading him as an autistic child helps bc autistic children are often taught to ignore their needs and wants#which is something we see with his character later on that’s so prevalent#anyway this is just a blurb that i’ve been thinking about#frank castle#the punisher#comics inspired#ddba#nmcu the punisher#character analysis#bun.txt
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Absolutely love your art. I want to nom it.
Also, Hollow Heads Siblings my beloveds,,,
Theyre the doomed siblings ever its not even funny
#Oouugh i have thoughts abt the hollowhead siblings. How theyre so intricately tied to eachother since their birth but they'd be#Eachother'd downfall. Esp when it's Dark and his relationship with the others#Dark would never understand what chosen went through. Mainly bc i think chosen is used to fighting his internal battles on his own#While he was in captive as an ad blocker. He loves Dark. He's grateful for Dark bc without him he wouldn't be free#But Dark isnt exactly someone reliable enough for Chosen to get the necessary healing he wants and needs#But that won't stop Dark from trying to fix him. Creates the virus for revenge. As chosen watches his brother spiral and spiral#As he watches him drift further away. Unable to get him back without a shouting match. As he watches with his heart heavy and cracked at-#Their stiffed interactions and strained relationship. He can't remember a time where they shared geniune laughs.#Then tsc coming came and changed everything.#Because this is someone who went through Chosen's pain albeit a lil differently. Someone who knows. Someone who /understands/. And this-#Someone is so much more younger than them and had to go through that pain in such a short amount of time since their birth#He sees himself in them. And he's rather walk up to alan demanding to get his hands cuffed than let tsc fester in that pain.#So tsc became chosen's priority. Healed eachother in many ways than one and are at echother's beck and call if need be.#As for Dark. I think he'd manipulate tsc into using him for his revenge. After stalking out his code and finding out about his potential#And TSC cant help but fall for his manipulations. Since this person is very very important to Chosen and they want so badly to impress-#Them both. They agreed and overtime grew to love eachother. And overtime Dark shifted his goals just a tad bit. Getting TSC more and more-#Involved. Since hey if Chosen doesn't like touching alan with a 10 ft pole why not let this kid do. And TCS agrees to this thinking that-#This is it. This is can finally heal them completely. Finally out of sight and out of mind. Finally can't live without the pain lingering#And chosen watches them with a sense of deja vu. At loss at what to do and so so afraid to lose two of his lil siblings#Then shit hits the brick UBSJDBSJSN#They make me so ill im not even kidding when i said theyre so so very very doomed!!!!!!!!!#This is abt the au btw BAHHAHAHABHA
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