#unable to fully embrace this happiness

[drowninginyourtouch]

mood for tonight

[ruiditos]

Pepper & Caraway Seed - Echelons (formerly known as Unable To Fully Embrace This Happiness) [2017]

[haveyoulistenedtothisalbum-poll]

Tracklist:

The Bright Lights Of A Hidden City • I Quit My Job So I Could Play More RPGs • The Happy End Overshadows The Forthcoming Drama • A Day Off Spent The Right Way • Ted's Radio Appearance Made Me Fall Asleep • The Flat Earth Society Has Members All Around The Globe • Thank You Very Much For Gathering Today • Like A Mixture Of A Power Ranger And A Reptile • The Journalist • Someday That Video Will Serve As Proof Of How Idiotic Things Were During This Period • The Value Of The Art Of Listening • Pepper & Caraway Seed • The Dilemma Of Having Conservative Kin • ...Just When I Thought I Was Done Being The Mediator

Spotify ♪ Bandcamp ♪ YouTube

[justsayyes1]

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[vampjaeyun]

NETFLIX & CHILL

PAIRING loser!jake x maneater fem!reader | wc: 1.2k

SYNOPSIS “Do you seriously not know the meaning behind ‘Netflix and chill?’”

WARNINGS reader is in heat lmfao, soft jake, dry humping, hickeys

NOTES IF THIS SEEMS FAMILIAR, ITS BECAUSE I WROTE THIS FOR MARK ON MY NCT BLOG!!! I revamped it because I wanted to post something for jake's birthday but I haven't finished the one-shot im writing for him, so enjoy this for now <3

happy late birthday to my side piece, xo

WHAT IS JAKE SIM HERE FOR?

Tapping at your thigh, your impatience grows after every second that passes.  

You're not typically this horny or impatient, but to set the scene, you met Jake on the first day of classes.  As everyone filed into the auditorium and the professor began rambling, he took the seat alongside yours.  Throughout the first week of school, you started talking to him, sharing mutual interests and small talk.  You think he's awfully cute.  So you went ahead and texted him, wanting to "Netflix and chill" this weekend.  Maybe you were being too direct, but the deed had already been done, so you chose to embrace it. 

He doesn’t hesitate with a ‘for sure’ text back, not asking further questions or details about your request.  You smile at that, itching to explore another side of the cute boy who you see in class. 

The day arrives, and he walks over to your flat, smiling affectionately as the door swings open.  You both laugh and fond over each other while he cooks dinner and joins you afterward at the dinner table. He's so funny and sweet you realize, finally conversing about things other than school; it influences you to increase your expectations, and you wonder why hookups aren't typically like this. 

Now you're both adjacent to each other, your body cuddling up to his side as the movie plays. It's amusing since Jake hasn't made a single move towards you all night.  Aside from the arm around your shoulder, he hasn't attempted to sneak his arm any lower.  And he hasn't turned to face you since coming in contact with the couch.   Perhaps he changed his mind?  The movie is almost over, and the line has yet to be crossed. But the voice in the back of your head tells you that just because he didn't plan to tonight doesn't mean he doesn't want to, right?  A glimmer of optimism just helps to persuade you more, and once you dig a hole, you only dig deeper.

He laughs at a comedic moment in the film and you find it adorable.  He’s so invested and that’s when you finally realize Jake seriously didn’t come here to have sex with you.  It’s not his intention at all. His kindness and investment into everything you both did tonight is probably an effort into a full-on date. 

But this only made you more horny and attracted to him.  Fuck, you want to jump his bones so fucking bad.  And shit, you feel terrible because your mind and body are telling you to rip off the bandaid.  The pulsing want you have for this man is almost uncomfortable.  

You’re cursing yourself but like a bitch in heat you’re already escalating the situation. 

“Jake, the movie’s almost over,” you look up at him. 

He’s chuckling at your random commentary then looking down at you, “Yeah, it’s almost over.” 

“It’s almost over, and I invited you to Netflix and chill,” you pout.  Maybe the phrase ‘Netflix and chill’ flew over his head but it couldn’t be. You recall texting him the exact words.  There’s no way someone could misinterpret that.  Right? 

He blinks at you as if he’s unable to process your response. 

“Aren’t we doing that right now?” he quirks.  Maybe he’s genuinely clueless or the facade is running right past you, but you are fully convinced Jake has no idea about the ulterior motive of the popular phrase.

No one could guess Jake Sim would be the one who doesn’t know this term.  Maybe a stereotypical nerd whose internet consumption is strictly educational research.  Never judge a book by its cover, they said.  But you haven’t fully related to the metaphor until now.  Jake Sim’s cover has the term ‘fuckboy’ written all over.  Right to the Chrome Hearts hoodie and silver chain that looks like it belongs there.  

It’s alarming.  So alarming, that you have to sit up from Jake’s side to face him clearly.  Your brain is moving at a million miles per minute as you try to grasp the idea of how Jake doesn’t know the popular booty-call slang, head tilted to the side and all.

“Is there something wrong?” he questions. It’s beyond innocent.  His wide eyes give away the sincere worry he has and all you want to do is jump his bones.  

You smirk, “Do you seriously not know the meaning behind ‘Netflix and chill?’”

He pauses, staring like a deer in headlights, “It has another meaning? What else would it mean?” 

“Jakie,” you inch closer to him, so much that your noses brush at the nickname. “You’re so cute,” you utter slowly as you straddle him with one leg on each side of his thighs.  Thankfully, you wore a skirt, so the thin panties are the only thing obstructing the feeling of the rough material of his jeans.   

The poor boy beneath you flinches as you move so seductively in slow motion.  You’re glancing up to gauge his reactions and you swear you see a shadow of darkness in those chocolate orbs.  If that wasn’t enough for you to completely lose control, you follow his tongue gliding along his bottom lip and all you want to do is bite his lips until they’re bleeding.

“Why’d you agree to my text, but won’t do just that?” his breath hitches as you slightly move around on him, but it doesn’t have much of an effect because you’re not directly where he needs it most. 

“W-what?” he stutters slightly.  So cute.

“It means,” you bring your lips to graze his earlobe. “You wanna fuck,” u purr and he freezes at the revelation. 

“You wanna fuck while some stupid movie plays in the background,” at this, your hips move directly above his crotch and the weight of your body forces him to groan softly in pleasure. 

“It’s j-just an excuse,” You whimper as you move sensually against him.  Jake's hooded eyes tenderly glance at you, his erection slowly increasing against his jeans as the scene progresses. Because of his hesitation, his hands have yet to find homage at your hips, and you almost grab them to move them yourself. “You can touch me, you know.  Don’t be afraid.  I’m all yours,” you rasp, and the boy you’ve been crushing on crumbles underneath your fingertips. 

You waste no time chasing more pleasure,  continuing to drag your lips against his neck, sucking and biting to leave rosy marks on his flesh. Your fingers tangle in his hair, unknowingly tugging on his locks, only for him to squirm beneath you.  His rough hands attempt to steer your hips and it's not quite enough for you to cum, but the zipper rubbing against your clothed clit sends a buzz up your spine, and you moan against his neck. 

"Will you do it?" You resume licking a stripe from his collarbone to his jaw.  When you notice the overflowing lust painted on his features, you can't help but beam a grin.  

"Yes," he gasps at the sensation of your motions against him.  

"I'll do it."

[enha-stars]

✧ Matchy, matchy ; S.J

Pairing: Bf!Jake x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: To be loved is to be known. And you were. And he was, too. You knew him and he knew you, and neither of you would have it any other way.

Warnings: Tooth-rotting fluff, down bad jake, down bad reader, freak: matched (lovingly), abandoned food, kissing, suggestive, gift giving as a love language,

A/n: happy anniversary to my beloved, @karinasbaby . My love for her inspired this, so… comeback?? Possibly. Stay tuned.

In the dimly lit, slightly damp hallway, Jake carefully turned the key in the lock, pushing the door open with the gentlest of nudges to avoid any noise. He slipped inside his apartment, his footsteps silent against the hardwood floor. The soft glow of evening light filtered through the curtains, casting a warmth hue over the room.

He was about to head to your shared bedroom when an enticing aroma caught his attention, causing him to stop mid-step. His heart skipped a beat as he realized the source of the delightful smell was in fact, coming from his kitchen.

Tip-toeing closer, Jake poked his head into the kitchen to the sight of you standing at the stove, your back turned to him. You were humming a soft tune, completely absorbed in your cooking. The sight of you, dressed in one of his old t-shirts, hair loosely tied up, glasses resting on your head, made his heart swell until it almost burst out of his chest. 

Jake’s lips curved into a bright smile as he quietly moved towards you, setting the gift bag down by the wall. Careful not to make a sound, he reached your side and paused for a moment, taking in the scene. The table was set for two, candles ready to be lit, and the counters were adorned with fresh ingredients. Jake recognized the variety on the table and his smile widened. He knew what avocados and limes meant and his stomach rumbled.

Unable to resist any longer, he stepped forward and gently wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close. You let out a small gasp of surprise, dropping the spoon you were holding as you turned your head to look at him, heart beating rapidly and eyes wide.

“Jake! Oh my gosh,” you exhaled, trying to catch your breath. “You scared me.” The smile that had twisted onto your lips and the sparkle in your shiny eyes told him that he had the same affect on you that you had on him. 

Jake kissed your cheek softly, nuzzling his face into your neck. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, angel.” He did, and she knew it, too. “I just couldn’t resist.” 

You laughed, a sound he was sure the tides pushed towards because you were a celestial being to him, bright and unearthly. If he could bottle your laugh and drink it, have it swim in his veins forever, he would. 

“Well, I missed you and I wanted to surprise you. How was the harbor?” You picked up the spoon once more and stirred the pot of beans and ground meat. Knowing this mood of his, you turned off the stove. 

You wouldn’t be eating anytime soon, anyways. 

“It was okay,” he murmured, tightening his embrace. “Riki fell into the water but it only reached his hips.” He grinned against your skin when you snickered. He could feel your body shake beneath his hands and he pressed himself against you tighter. “I missed you, baby.” 

You turned in his arms, facing him fully. Your eyes met his and you could feel every ounce of stress, every fleeting miscellaneous thought, fade away. His eyes, shiny and sparkling, held yours with nothing but heat and affection. 

Jake swallowed, afraid to blink. He was afraid that if he blinked, you may disappear. It didn’t matter how long he had you, he wanted you for longer. He wanted forever. Eternity, even, if he could ask for it. 

Your eyes glazed over his face, taking him in after not seeing him for a few hours. There was a small smudge of dirt under his right eye and you did the only thing you could do. Holding his chin in place, you licked your thumb and rubbed the dirt off his face. 

Jake stared at you feverishly, eyes on your face; taking in the way you slightly pouted your lips, sticking your tongue out a bit. It was a habit you had learned from him, one he cursed himself for all the time.

“There,” you mumbled to yourself. “All clean.” You dropped your hands to his chest and met his gaze. The warmth in it almost made your legs buckle but his grip held you upright. 

“I love you,” he said. Before you could say anything, he dipped his head towards yours. His lips hovered above your own as he whispered, “I got you something.” 

Your eyes fluttered shut and you tilted your head up, trying to meet his lips but he stayed slightly out of reach, forever teasing you. “Yeah? What’d you get me?”

Jake almost gave in, feeling your warm breath against his lips. He wanted to kiss you until you forgot your name, but he enjoyed this. He enjoyed making you wait, the push and pull.

“It’s a surprise,” he mumbled. “You have to sit on the couch.” His lips briefly, for the lightest of seconds, brushed against yours and you almost whined out his name. 

“Jake,” you exhaled, eyes squeezed shut. Jake loved you like this; all bothered and slightly desperate for him. Usually, he was the one like this, the one on the cusp of begging and asking. When he got you like this, oh, you looked stunning. “Come on,” you tried. “Tell me.” 

Jake simply shook his head, his lips brushing against yours tantalizing. “Gotta wait, angel.” His lips curled upwards at the small noise of frustration you made and he stepped back, hands dropping to his side. He watched with heated eyes as you blinked back into yourself. He loved being the only one to have you like this. 

Before he could take another step back, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards you, smashing your lips together. You swallow his slight gasp of surprise and smile against his lips as he melts into it, hands cupping the sides of your face as your lips move harshly against each other. 

Unable to help himself, Jake steps forward and pushes you backwards until your back is flush against the counter. The slight dig makes you gasp in pleasurable pain and he slips his tongue inside your mouth, laying claim to what already belongs to him. He grips the counter, caging you in.

You clutch his shirt, lips moving roughly against his. Jake slots his knee between your legs and the new pressure manages to pull a breathy moan out of you. Jake pulls away, eyes still shut as he tries to catch his breath. There’s a string of saliva that connects your bruised lips and he presses his lips against yours softly, licking your lips clean. 

“Fuck,” he exhales. He opens his eyes and almost groans at the sight of you; breathing deeply, lips red and plump, eyes slightly dazed. You looked almost fucked out and he hasn’t even touched you yet. “Fuck, you’re so perfect.” 

You laughed at his words and slid your hands up to the base of his neck. “So, this gift…” 

Grinning, Jake nipped at your lips before stepping back. “Go sit on the couch, pretty.” He simply shook his head when you frowned at him and he watched you reluctantly walk out of the kitchen and into the living room with eyes filled to the brim with adoration. 

He waited until he heard you fall back onto the couch. Even then, you called out and let him know you were sitting. He was sure his heart was going to burst out his ribs and break through his skin with the amount of love and affection he felt for you. 

Grabbing the small gift bag, Jake made his way to you. When you heard his footsteps, you straightened your back and turned to face him, giving him your utmost attention. Jake often gifted you small, minuscule things, and you loved and appreciated every single thing. It was how he loved, and so you always made sure to focus on him and what his gift was telling you. 

Kneeling down in front of you, he looked up at you as you shifted to the edge of the sofa. You spread your legs a bit and he shuffled between them. His lips twisted and you pinched his nose, immediately seeing the flicker of heat and desire that spread through his eyes. “Don’t even think about it,” you warned. 

“Jokes on you,” he smirked. “I’m always thinking about it.” 

You raised an eyebrow at him and traced the outline of his lips. “Freak.” 

“Matched,” he countered, licking your finger when you pressed it down on his bottom lip. 

You both grinned at each other before he cleared his throat and lifted the gift bag, moving it towards you. Gently, like it was made of gold, which to you, it practically was, you grabbed it and set it down on your thigh. 

Jake watched you curiously as you picked the gift wrapping sheets out of the bag. He stopped breathing momentarily when you reached into the bag and pulled out a small, coffee coloured teddy bear plushie. 

His eyes, which could never and would never stray from you, focused on your expression; the way your eyes widened in surprise and then fondness, the way your small smile twisted into a wide grin before your lips parted in content. He watched as your eyebrows raised in surprise, the way your eyes crinkled. 

You looked so happy, so adorable as you gently patted the bear's head. Lost in the gift, you barely noticed Jake’s warm gaze and the way he shuffled forward, resting his cheek against your other thigh. He was more than pleased with staring at you like this forever. 

“Jake,” you whispered, pulling him out of his staring. He blinked and lifted his head, shaking the hair out of his face. With one hand, you held the bear tightly. With the other, you brushed his hair out his face, smiling a little wobbly. “I love him. What’s the special occasion?” 

Jake shrugged, slightly overcome with emotion. He didn’t think he would be, but you had that effect on him. “It’s uh, well,” he licked his lips. “I saw him at the harbor and thought of you. I knew I had to win it for you.” 

You stared at him, eyes widening at his words before you bit your bottom lip. You glanced at the bear in your hands and let out a quiet chuckle. At the sound, Jake looked back at you, eyes sparkling. 

“Jake,” you sighed. You leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead. His eyes shut automatically and he breathed out in content. “This is actually really funny,” you murmured against his skin. 

“Hm?”

Pulling away, you set the bear down beside you and tapped his head twice. He opened his eyes and frowned in confusion when you motioned for him to move. Looking like a kicked puppy, he shuffled backwards and gave you enough space to get up. 

From the carpet, he watched you as you walked to the breakfast table. You pulled a chair back and grabbed something he couldn’t see. Hiding the item from his sight, you turned to face him. There was a twinkle in your eye, one he loved to see but didn’t understand. 

“Sit up on the couch for me, baby.” You motioned him to get up with your head and like the obedient boyfriend he was, he pushed himself off the carpet and fell back onto the sofa. 

Satisfied, you walked towards him, hiding the item behind your back. Jake tried to glance around you but with one look, he sulked into the couch, crossing his arms. Tsking, you sank to your knees and he immediately spread his legs. 

Your eyes traveled from his thighs up to his eyes and his eyes crinkled in amusement, an arrogant smirk ghosting on his lips. “Thinking about it, aren’t you, angel?”

You licked your lips, trying to focus on the present in your hands. “Don’t be freaky right now, Jake. We’re trying to be sentimental.” 

“So you are thinking about it,” he mused, spreading his legs further. You blinked and tried to ignore his tactics. It wasn’t even your fault really, not when his feelings and excitement were practically staring right in the face. 

Clearing your throat, you pinched his thigh to get his mind out of the gutter. Once the lust in his eyes died down a bit, you smiled bashfully at him. 

“What’re you hiding, angel? What’s in your hand?” He tried to hide the curiosity in his voice but you caught it. Because, while he liked to give you things, you also liked to give him things. Despite his calm demeanor, you knew he was always excited. Just like you were. 

Gosh, the stars really did love you both. 

“Well,” you started. “It’s funny that you got me that bear because I…” When your explanation fell short, you brought the bear in your hand towards Jake, handing it to him. He stared at the chocolate covered teddy bear in pure astonishment, almost like it couldn’t be real. 

You shuffled forward, resting your hand on his thigh. Rubbing small circles on his skin, you tried to ground him. Despite getting small gifts from you all the time, he took them each to heart. You wondered when he would accept the love he deserved. 

With a gentleness that made your stomach tingle, he held the bear carefully in his hand. It was small in his hands, but the weight of it felt almost overwhelming. You watched as his eyes glistened with something adoring, the way his lips parted prettily, curving into a smile so bright and beautiful it could have blinded you. 

“Angel,” his voice was hoarse with emotion, “why did you… how?” With soft, featherlike fingers, he caressed the bear as if it was your skin. His eyes were filled with wonder and if you could have captured this moment in its exactness, you would have lived in it. 

“I saw it the other day while I was shopping. It reminded me of you so I bought it.” 

Your words snapped something in him and he set the bear down, eyes ablaze. You barely got enough time to look at him before he scooped you into his arms and set you in his lap. Blinking, you stared at him, dumbfounded. 

With your legs on either side of him, you shuffled a bit closer until you were comfortable. Then, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed yourself against his chest, his hands wrapping around your waist. 

“Hi,” you whispered. 

His lips wobbled and he brushed his nose against yours. “Hi, angel.” 

“So, do you like the bear I got you?” 

Pressing a kiss to your jaw, he nodded. “I love it so much. So, so, much. I can’t believe we got matching plushies accidentally.” 

You laughed and kissed the edge of his smile, wanting to bask in it forever. “We match each other's freaks so well. We’re practically soulmates at this point.” 

Pulling away, he gripped your chin between his thumb and forefinger. “The fuck you mean practically? We are soulmates. I’m marrying you. We’re going to die together and be buried together in one casket.” 

“Oh.” You grinned at him. “Okay, baby. Whatever you say.” 

He tiled your head upwards and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. Then, he grabbed both of the bears and handed you yours while he kept his close to his chest. “What are you naming him?” 

You hummed in thought and stared at the bear in your hand. Naming your plushies was important to you. Names were important, and they had to be meaningful. Jake shouldn’t have been so turned on while watching you think of a name for a plushie, but he was. He knew you could feel it, but, having your priorities straight, you ignored him. 

“I kind of like Buoy.” 

Jake blinked at you before he softly laughed, amazed at your naming ability. “Buoy?” 

“Yeah, Buoy. Named after that slightly orange buoy by the harbor. That, and you’re my anchor. Always keeping me afloat and all.” 

Jake wasn’t a crier, but the amount of times he had almost burst into years tonight had hit a new record. Trying to swallow the emotion that bubbled in his throat, he rested his head against your chest, hiding in your embrace. You laughed at his antics and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. 

“What about you? What are you naming her?” 

Jake lifted his head and the look in his eyes made you hold your breath. You could feel every single vein in your body vibrate and you knew you were in for a long night. 

“I’m naming her Quesadilla.” The seriousness in his voice threw you off and you weren’t sure if you should laugh or clap him on the back. Instead, you simply raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Why Quesadilla?” 

“I’m naming her that in honour of the quesadillas we won’t be eating tonight.” 

“What are you–” You were cut off by Jake tightening his grip on you and flipping you over. A surprised laugh escaped your lips as you found yourself lying beneath him on the couch, his body hovering over yours.

You weren’t sure where your bears had gone, but that was the least of your worries. Jake leaned down, his face inches from yours, eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made your heart beat in your ears.  “I’m only hungry for you tonight, pretty girl.” His lips hovered above your own and your throat went dry. 

You reached up, your hand cupping his cheek as you smiled up at him. “Have me then, Jake.” 

Jake’s expression softened and he closed the distance between you, pressing a tender kiss to your lips. It was a simple tease, a highlight as to how the night was going to go, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

You would, after all, have your fun after he had his. 

[rafecameronssl4t]

Wildflower || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Summary: Based on what Wildflower is about, helping your friend get through a breakup only to fall in love with her ex and breaking girl code and feeling haunted by what you know about their past relationship

Warnings: ANGST!!!!

Word count: 1,548

A/n: this song acc has me bawling you guys i love it sm

MASTERLIST

divider by @h-aewo

Things fall apart and time breaks your heart. I wasn’t there, but I know.

Everyone thought Rafe and Sofia were destined for forever. They were total opposites in every way—personality, interests, dreams—but their love was so deep that breaking up seemed impossible. Yet, as the 2 years went by, something felt off with Sofia. Even from miles away, during your FaceTime calls, you could sense a change in her. She never said a word about it, but you could feel the shift. After all, you were her best friend.

She was your girl, you showed her the world.

Rafe was everything to Sofia. He was her entire world, and though it might sound cliché, it was true. He was her first love, her first everything. He made her happier than anyone ever had, and everyone could see it. It was almost surreal to think that someone who had given her the universe could ever be the source of such pain.

You fell out love and you both let go.

Rafe couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment he fell out of love with Sofia. The transition was subtle, an ebbing tide he couldn’t fully grasp. He couldn’t even bring himself to utter the words that would shatter their shared dreams. Once, he had believed she was the one—his soulmate, his future wife, the mother of his children. Yet now, Sofia found it unbearable to hold onto a love that was no longer reciprocated. The weight of his unspoken truth was too heavy for her heart to bear, knowing that his feelings had shifted while hers remained steadfast.

She was crying on my shoulder, all I could do was hold her. Only made us closer until July.

The second your feet touched the sands of obx, Sofia’s tears soaked through your shoulder like a storm unleashed. You could feel the weight of her anguish, a heavy, unspoken truth that you sensed from the moment you saw her. As she unraveled her sorrows into your embrace, each sob a silent plea, your heart ached at the sight of your best friend’s shattered world. All you could do was offer your presence and comfort, feeling helpless yet determined to be there for her.

Now I know that you love me, you don’t need to remind me.

You stared at the locket, the image of you and Sofia as young girls reflecting back. Tears welled in your eyes as you took in the precious memory. “You really didn’t need to do this,” you sniffled, meeting her gaze with glassy eyes. She smiled softly, pulling you into a tight embrace. Her hand comfortingly stroked your back as you struggled to hold back your sobs.

“I love you,” she whispered, and the weight of her words made you sob even harder. The guilt of being with Rafe behind Sofia’s back pressed heavily on your heart. Each tear you shed was a mix of sorrow for her pain and the crushing guilt of hiding your true feelings.

I should put it all behind me, shouldn’t I?

“She’ll get over it,” Rafe says with a dismissive shrug, his gaze flicking briefly towards you in the passenger seat before returning to the road ahead. His hand rests firmly on your thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze that feels more mechanical than comforting.

“But she’s my best friend, Rafe,” you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper as you absently fiddle with the ring he gave you, feeling its cold metal against your skin.

“So? If she was your best friend, she’d want you to be happy,” Rafe responds, his tone dismissive and frustrated. His lack of empathy makes the tears well up in your eyes, despite your efforts to hold them back.

“It’s more complicated than that, Rafe,” you cry out in frustration, your voice cracking as you cover your face with your hands, unable to contain the sobs that begin to shake your body. The harshness of Rafe’s chuckle only amplifies your distress.

“How is it more complicated? Please, fucking enlighten me, because I’m sick of you cry about this,” he shouts, his eyes never leaving the road. His words feel like a dagger, deepening the anguish you’re already feeling.

“Because I fucking care about her—” you start to explain, but Rafe interrupts with a loud scoff. “You obviously don’t care as much as you say you do, or you wouldn’t have kissed me back!” he yells, his voice sharp and accusatory. The intensity of his words makes your breath hitch, and you feel the weight of his anger crushing down on you.

“Stop the car,” you say calmly, though your voice trembles with a mix of anger and desperation as you quickly unbuckle your seatbelt. Rafe’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “What?”

“I said stop the fucking car, Rafe, or I swear to God I’m going to jump out,” you scream, the urgency in your voice leaving no room for argument. He slams on the brakes, pulling over abruptly on the side of the road.

“Are you fucking serious? We’re still in the cut, someone could—” Rafe begins, but you cut him off by flinging open the door and stepping out into the chilly night air. The door slams shut behind you with a resounding thud, echoing your frustration and pain. Tears flow freely down your face as you feel your phone vibrating in your pocket. Glancing at the screen, your heart drops—Sofia is calling. You swallow hard, turning the phone to silent before shoving it back into your pocket.

“Come on, baby. I didn’t mean it!” Rafe’s voice calls out from his truck, his tone desperate as he drives slowly alongside you. “Just go home, Rafe. I’ll be fine,” you reply, wrapping your arms around yourself in an attempt to ward off the cold and the emotional turmoil. Despite his lingering presence, Rafe eventually speeds off, his truck’s taillights fading into the darkness as you are left standing alone on the side of the road.

But I see her in the back of my mind, all the time

You lounged against Rafe’s back, soaking in the warmth of the sun as you lay sprawled on the deck of his yacht feeling the gentle sway of the boat beneath you. His thumb traced absent-minded circles on your hip while you stared out at the water.

“You good? You haven’t said much since we got here,” Rafe’s voice broke the silence, a note of concern laced with a hint of impatience. His hand rested lightly on your thighs, a gesture meant to reassure, yet it only intensified your unease. You snapped out of your daze, feeling the weight of the guilt that had been shadowing you ever since you and Rafe hooked up that one night.

“‘M fine,” you replied softly, your voice barely above a whisper. You fidgeted with your ring, a nervous habit you had developed over time. Rafe’s gaze, sharp and unyielding, didn’t waver. His frustration was palpable, and you could sense the slight edge in his tone.

“You’re obviously not, Y/N. What’s wrong?” His words were laced with a subtle annoyance that made you sit up abruptly, breaking the comfortable silence you had been trying to maintain. “I’m going to go inside for a bit,” you said, standing up and stretching. Rafe watched you carefully, his expression softening as he chose not to push further when you clearly didn’t want to talk.

As you moved past him on the sun lounge, he reached out and grasped your hand, making you pause in your tracks. The intensity of his gaze was almost palpable, his eyes searching yours for answers. Slowly, he drew your hand closer to his face and pressed a tender kiss to your knuckles.

The gesture was both affectionate and vulnerable, and his next words made your breath catch. “I love you,” he said softly, the sincerity in his voice making your heart ache. A shiver ran through. A shiver ran through you as you tried to process the weight of his confession.

You couldn’t shake the image of him saying those same words to Sofia, the unresolved guilt gnawing at your insides. You managed a tight-lipped smile, the weight of your conflicted emotions pressing down on you. “Love you too,” you said quickly, before withdrawing your hand and heading inside. The door clicked shut behind you, and you were left alone with your thoughts.

It wasn’t that you didn’t love Rafe—quite the opposite. You were certain that you’d never felt as deeply for anyone as you did for him. That's why you didn't stop seeing him. But the reality of loving him, especially given that he was your best friend’s ex, made everything feel so much more complicated.

So you couldn’t help but see Sofia in the back of your mind whenever you were with Rafe. It felt unfair to him, but most of all it was so fucking unfair for Sofia. Every time you were with Rafe, all you could think about was how fucked up it was that you ended up hooking up with her ex at a party she had skipped because she was still getting over the breakup. She’d wanted you to have fun, and yet here you were, knowing you were betraying her trust.

[angelicdanvers]

BRACELETS | luke castellan.

pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader

summary: y/n finds herself a friend to celebrate her special day with. takes place before the lightning thief. luke & y/n are the same age. wc: 1.9k key: n/n = nickname

taglist: @repostingmyfavs @rinisfruity14 @soobin-chois | pm or comment to be added <3

a/n: merry christmas to those who celebrate!! this goes out to all my loves who just wish for one person to embrace them and spread happiness <3

sixteen.

it was finally y/n’s sixteenth birthday, and once again, not a single person to celebrate with. being a child of demeter was sweet, everyone was kind all around, but y/n simply couldn’t find her people.

she got along with everyone, no one had anything against her. sure, older kids would pick on her from time to time, but that was an automatic agreement she signed when joining camp two years ago.

she just couldn’t develop as strong of a bond with anyone. she’d sometimes fall asleep with silent tears, wondering if she was broken or missing something key. if everyone was nice, why couldn’t she trust? form a relation?

the night wielded a nice breeze, wafting through y/n’s locks as she sat by the strawberry fields, playing with the leaves. a slight glow emitted from her fingertips as she trailed them along the soil, a small smile on her lips. 

glancing towards the amphitheater, she could see those her age dancing and singing, having the time of their lives. the younger kids had dispersed due to curfew, she noted. 

they all seemed to be in glee.

snapping her eyes shut, she fought back the intrusive thoughts and inhaled a sharp breath. opening her eyes, y/n grabbed some of the soil, stacking it into three layers. grabbing a strawberry, she delicately placed it atop and pulled away to admire her makeshift cake.

“happy birthday, n/n — happy sweet sixteenth,” she said loud enough just for her to hear. looking up at the glimmering stars, y/n decided to make a wish.

all i wish for is belonging. true belonging.

y/n went back to her cake, grabbing the strawberry and picking herself up from the ground. dusting herself off, she took her water bottle and gently rinsed the strawberry. placing it between her teeth and softly biting into it, she savoured the taste as she walked down towards the amphitheater and then the cabins.

she felt stupid for not wearing a proper jacket or shirt, but she did enjoy the fresh air leaving a chill to her skin. y/n was hoping her black tee would blend her into the night, especially as she neared the amphitheater. she wasn’t entirely keen on interacting more at the moment — it was past twelve and she knew she couldn’t match their energy.

“hey, y/n?”

the girl halted in her tracks. turning on her heel, she came face to face with none other than the loveable hermes boy lightly jogging up to her.

“hi luke,” she greeted, passing him a small smile. 

luke smiled back immediately. after a silent beat, he spoke again. “i just wanted to say, ha —“

“hey, luke! get over here, man, we need your backup vocals right now!” one of the hermes kids yelled, y/n couldn’t tell who from their distance.

“yeah, give me a sec!” he screamed, turning back to the girl.

“no dude, we need you RIGHT NOW! we’re gonna be mashed potatoes if you don’t!”

luke rolled his eyes, positioning himself back towards the theatre. “can’t you see i’m busy?”

“you can talk to anyone about anything whenever, luke! this is a one time exclusive!”

“stop quoting missy elliot, and no, give me two minutes!” he replied, a slight whine in his voice.

a scoff followed, “we’re gonna be eliminated, castellan!”

exasperated by bickering with his brothers, luke sighed and nodded. “i’ll be right there!” 

the boy instantly spun back around, wanting to wish the demeter girl a happy birthday.

she was at least 30 feet ahead of him, speed walking away with a slight slump to her shoulders.

luke’s smile dropped. another day, another day of being unable to fully attend to her. these countless moments have occurred more than he could fathom — he was always pulled away from the one girl he didn’t want to be pulled away from.

and yet here she was, disappearing out of his sight once again. “this karaoke better be worth it,” he grumbled under his breath as he trudged back.

the next morning was calm, not many campers up to anything special. there was a soft pitter patter on the window panes, but y/n didn’t mind. the rain rejuvenated her.

throwing on her raincoat but paying no mind to her shorts or shoes, y/n left the cabin with her stash of bracelet material in her pocket and sprinted through the paths, heading to chiron and mr. d.

luke’s attention immediately perked up at the bolting girl, and he realized this might just be the one time he can say anything.

subtly running after her, he watched as she entered the big house and rather excitedly. he followed inside, keeping a distance when he heard her begin to speak to chiron.

he didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but he did hear it all.

“may i call my dad?”

“of course, y/n. here,” luke could hear the shuffle of a phone, and footsteps coming closer to the edge of chiron’s office. 

the dial tone was evident. it went through three times before he heard the young girl speak.

“hey dad. hope you’re doing good. should've known you weren't gonna pick up. i turned sixteen today, fyi. hope your kids are doing fine and same with that blonde bimbo,” she spat, making luke’s eyes widen. “i’m not coming home for christmas. might be early to determine but i’m sure i won’t. bye.”

she walked back to chiron, and luke could hear light sniffles coming from her. his heart sank. 

“for all it matters, i’m here, we all are. happy birthday, y/n. you’ve always made us proud, you’ve always been an asset to us, you deserve to know that no matter what,” chiron reassured, and luke could hear the girl softly thank him.

stepping outside of chiron’s office and shutting the door behind her, y/n broke into a sob in the hallway. it was one thing to have others not be around, but when family abandons, nothing feels real anymore. 

luke observed as she stopped her tears almost as quick as they started, wiping her eyes as she headed towards him, unbeknownst to her.

“uh,” luke cleared his throat, “hey, y/n.”

y/n’s face warmed up, startled at his presence. hurriedly fixing herself up, she nodded. “hi luke.”

“i’m sorry for last night,” he apologized, scratching the nape of his neck. “i was trying to talk to you but i guess i got carried away with everyone else,” he paused, looking down, “as usual. i’m sorry.”

y/n shook her head. “it’s okay. don’t apologize, life happens.”

“right,” luke acknowledged awkwardly. “speaking of life,” he approached her in a friendly manner, “i wanted to wish you a happy birthday last night. you’re sixteen, one of the biggest milestones in anyone’s life!”

his enthusiasm made the corners of y/n’s lips tug up, and she watched intently as he continued. “you deserve an amazing birthday, and i’m going to give that to you.”

y/n was not expecting that.

“c’mon, let’s go.” luke held his hand out to her, his dark curls practically bouncing in excitement. a sweet grin crept onto her face, making the young boy smile even wider. she accepted his hand, and the second he felt her palm within his, the fragility made him realize he could never be a part of something that’d hurt her ever again.

she was stronger than anyone he knew, enduring all the shit the world put upon her. he just knew he couldn’t be one of them to do the same. 

together, the two gracefully left the big house, trampling down to camp and rushing towards god knows where.

somehow, they ended up at the pavilions, and without a second thought, y/n pulled out her bracelet material. luke was confused but watched eagerly as she carefully took the little sacks out.

“wanna make some friendship bracelets?”

“friendship bracelets?” luke asked, unsure of the concept.

y/n nodded. “today’s the day someone willingly decided to hang out with me. i was going to make some alone but if you want, we can create matching ones and mark our friendship.”

luke grinned toothily, “so we’re friends now?”

y/n nodded, “i’d love to be, if you don’t mind.”

his eyes screamed happiness, “i definitely don’t mind.”

the two taped down their threads, choosing colours that work cohesively with one another’s. “now you’re gonna wanna take this thread and do a tuck-knot with it,” y/n explained, showing the boy to her left the steps.

after getting the basics down, the two fell into a comfortable silence, threading away and adding some cute hand-made clay beads here and there. “i’m not too childish for wanting to do this, right?” y/n suddenly asked, a nervous smile on her face.

luke shook his head and gave her a hearty grin. “i don’t think there should ever be such thing as “too childish”, sucks the life out of everyone,” he looked back down at the bracelet, “plus, when you’re a demigod, what else is there to do? play video games? we’d be dead in minutes.”

y/n laughed. luke froze.

he’d never heard her laugh this much. she sounded pretty.

“you’re not wrong,” she slowly caught her breathing and softly chuckled. “are you close to finishing your’s?”

the hermes boy nodded and watched intently as y/n’s delicate fingers tutored him on how to securely tie the ends of the bracelet. watching her move so effortlessly made his heart skip a beat — she was perfect.

even though this was the smallest activity they could ever do, she was perfect at it. it made him wonder why he didn’t seize the opportunity to be her friend beforehand.

“hey, y/n?”

“yes, luke?”

“i just wanted to say,” his breath lightly hitched when she began placing the bracelet on his wrist to make sure it was of right measurement, “that, uh, you’re really pretty.”

now it was y/n’s turn to freeze.

“but, i’m not doing all of this to just be your boyfriend or whatever. hell, we’ve just begun our friendship,” he stifled a small, sweet laugh, “so when i say this i really just mean it from the bottom of my heart. i don’t want it to influence you in any way, i just want you to know how i’ve seen you for the past two years.

“you’re gentle and loving, not to mention stealthy and incredibly intelligent. i love whenever i look over and you’re always doing something that captivates me. i’ve been an idiot to admire you from afar for this long, but you’ve always deserved to know and be appreciated. i’m sorry i couldn’t give that to you sooner.”

y/n looked into luke’s eyes, somber traversing in her’s. “may i hug you?”

luke nodded, and y/n wrapped him up in her arms. the boy held tightly onto her, a sudden thought of losing her intruding his mind of peace. “happy birthday, y/n,” he whispered into her ear as they continued to embrace.

“thank you, luke. this means the world to me.”

luke now knew he had to give her the world, no matter what.

their matching bracelets would only be a reminder of what there was, what there will be and what will be gone.

[sugurusladyknightt]

➺ gojo x gn!reader

when you finally make it through the front door of your home, your expression drops, and with a deep sigh, you flop onto the the carpet covered ground.

you're just so tired.

simply opting on laying there, you didn't get to make it that far into your home. the ache in your body and heaviness in your mind leaving you unable to do much else but enjoy the view at your home from the new perspective; worms are living the life man. you know, it's important to expand ones horizons by experiencing life from different perspectives.

you're not quite sure how long you've been laying there, or when the heavy of your eyes started fluttering shut, taking over mind as it's blissfully teleported to the land of some dream you likely won't remember by the time you wake.

it's soft. you're home. the gruel of the day left behind you now becoming only a fading memory of the agony you had endured and survived.

it's difficult not to be thankful to satoru for his lavish over spending on home furnishings in moments like these. the soft carpet brushing against your face, welcoming you into its embrace with a saccharine sweetness you never thought possible for a floor covering.

~~

you find yourself waking to the feeling of fingertips softly brushing over your features. with your eyes still closed and somehow fully aware of your surroundings. a small grey space between reality and senseless images the mind can devise — it's difficult to tell whether your still dreaming or not.

tracing the column of your neck, the shape of your face, your hairline, and the arch of your ears.

the sensation a comfortable ticklish sort.

along your brow bone, down the bridge of your nose, and against the curve of your cheek. the lines your lips, the round of your chin, and back up to count the lashes that protect your slumbering eyes.

your woken up by the gentle feeling. your on a cloud, floating through the sky. or maybe it's a little boat, drifting further away guided only by the tide. your eyes once again begin fluttering; a butterfly's wings preparing for flight. your adjusting to the glowing lights that come through the windows, a pinkish orange hue.

slowly your sight is regained, eyes droopy though trying to focus. you can see the image of a man laying next to you, hands tucked gingerly below his neck. soft white locks splayed over the carpeted floor, crystalline blue eyes gazing softly upon your own, faded summertime freckles that can only be seen if you're this close (hardly anyone else is ever this close), and a soft smile playing on the lips; replacing the usually smug, boyish grin.

and you smile back, mouth dry from your nap and evidence of the now-dry drool that has collected in its corners. but you smile back anyway. you don't think you could ever do otherwise.

his smile grows, revealing the pearly white hidden by his pink lips as he greets you in a cheery whisper.

"well, hello there sleepy."

softer than the tone you'd have approaching a stray cat, soft and welcoming. carried with an air of happiness you think only satoru could ever manage to mean genuinely.

a hand comes back up to pet your head, fingers moving to play with the ends of your hair,

"tired?"

the lights coming through the window dancing along the white of his hair and his enviously long eyelashes. there's a halo around his head. the pink and orange glow making it so his eyes glow in the dimmed natural light collected in the room.

your only reply is a nod. you can't speak, not before such divinity. you wouldn't dare.

his thoughtful tone followed by a more serious one.

"hmmm, shit day?"

pfft. there's nothing to be so nervous about. after all, this is your boy. your perfect blue-eyed boy. your lover boy. your silly man. yours. because he wants to be.

there's your gentle laughter and the soft smile playing on his lips grows — newton's third law of motion.

what a lovely sound, he thinks.

"no, not especially so. 'm just tired"

"mmh"

it's rare that he's so quiet. well, it's rarer to others than it is you, but nonetheless rare. you're somewhere between missing the loud of his voice and enjoying the quietness of understanding.

it's not difficult to understand one another without the use of trivial things like the spoken word. satorus eyes, reminiscent of the endless depths of the seas, they will tell you everything you could ever want to know.

your own hand moves to play with his hair, eyes as razor focused on the piece you've got between your thumb and index finger as can be, before the whole of your hand gently rakes through his soft hair.

the silence is so comfortable, you really are on a cloud. or a little boat. you don't wanna share it with anyone else. you wonder if you could feel this way with anyone else, and the answer is so easily available to you.

no.

possibly being the quickest you'll ever answer a question.

your eyes drift back to his before you say,

"toru, what are your thoughts on snacks and a movie in bed in place of dinner. just tonight. .... though i don't think we've got any right now." you think out loud. voice coming out a little raspy but you pay it little mind.

you're pulled closer by the strong hand at your hip, the muscles under his skin, shifting with the movement and you can't help being mesmerized.

he smells clean. the fresh scent of aloe clinging to his skin, your hands curl around the pale blue button up he wears. it's instinctual; newton's third law of motion.

"i like that idea. although, we both know that it's very obviously very clearly been stolen from me. y if you will. robbed from my countless thoughtful recommendations that have always remain ignored. dismissed. without a second thought" he says matter of factly and in the most dramatic tone imaginable ending it with a little hmph. acting as if all the lights are on him as he presents his dramatic little shakespearean soliloquy. the cherry on top? satoru trying to make his voice sound a little posh to really drive his performance home.

(he doesn't have to try too hard)

he's trying to make you laugh. again. to hear that lovely sound. satoru accomplishes his goal but is it what it seems to be?

his own success? or ads your only indulging him?

divider by @saradika-graphics

[myjayisarockstar]

quality time - pjs

pairing: Idol boyfriend!Jay x gn!reader

warnings: Absolutely none, this is pure fluff

synapsis: Jay finally gets to spend time with you after a long week of promotions and being unable to see you

wc: 609

a/n: first solo member drabble !! this isn't fully proofread so if there are some mistakes I apologize LMFAO enjoy otherwise!!

As busy as his schedule would be Jay would ALWAYS find the time for you. Whether you go to the company to surprise him at practice during a break or between his schedules, simply seeing your face will make his day a thousand times better.

“Hi baby!” your boyfriend says with a bright smile, walking up to you to hug you. As he engulfed you in his warm embrace he muttered into your shoulder “missed you so much, needed this hug.”

You giggle softly, enjoying his presence. Jay and the rest of the members have been busy with back-to-back schedules and rehearsals, so he hasn’t had much time to see you. Between their comeback and upcoming concerts, he has been all over the place with hardly any rest, only stopping to get sleep at the dorms then it’s off to practice again. Today he finally got a few hours to himself and his immediate thought was to spend it with you. 

“I missed you too, you’ve been so busy recently I hope you’re taking care of yourself,” you only lightly scolded him, wanting nothing but for him to be happy and healthy during comeback season since it was a busy and stressful time for him.

Still not pulling away from your hug, he mumbles “Don’t worry about me baby I’m doing just fine. Just wanna be with you today.” Your heart melted, he was always extra affectionate like this when he was away from you for long periods. The two of you stayed in each other's embrace for what felt like forever when Jay finally pulled away, looking at you with loving eyes.

“Are you hungry? Do you want me to cook anything for us while you have me here?” Jay was always one to cook for the two of you. It was one of his love languages. You always loved his cooking too, however, you wanted to spend as much time with him as you could in these few hours since your time together was limited. So instead of him cooking, you two opted for takeout and spent the afternoon catching up and enjoying the comfort of being in the other’s presence. You let him talk about his comeback, the promotions he had been participating in, and anything else on his mind. 

“Enough talk about me, what have you been up to baby? Anything new with work?” Jay turned to ask you after cleaning up after the food you ate. Compared to him, your schedule is tame. Boring even. The most you did was attend your classes and go to work (and your job was nothing compared to his). Occasionally, you would go out with your friends but lately, you all have been so busy your schedules haven’t aligned for quite some time.

“I don’t wanna bore you with my boring life, love. It’s pretty much the same as always,” He pouts, wanting to hear about your days because he loves listening to you talk.

“But I love listening to you talk about your life, nothing you say could bore me.” You let out a sigh, and in turn, start talking about your day once you two get comfortable cuddling on the couch. You run your hands through Jay’s hair subconsciously, loving the way his soft locks feel on your fingers. 

About fifteen minutes go by of you talking about your day and any current life updates until you realize Jay has fallen asleep in your arms. You giggle to yourself, adoring his cute sleeping form. 

“I thought nothing I say would bore you, now look at you,” you whisper to him knowing he won’t even hear you.

[luneariaa]

ᯓ★٠ ࣪⭑ PIECE OF ART. ✧ KENJI S.

✰ — you and kenji being at the museum for plot reasons, kenji being sweet, pure fluff, might be ooc kenji, not much proof-read.

tagging : @xxladyballadxx @jinwoosungs @madeimoisellesoleil 💕

— ✩ m. list.

. dividers by @/strangergraphics 📜 !!

A LIGHT grin is present upon your features, further observing the scattered paper arts close by— passing it in an unhurried pace. Dressed ever so casually, to say the least, yet perfectly fitting to the current location you were in. A sight to behold that still manages to go unnoticed within the sea of people.

It is just the beginning of the eventide, and the museum still continues to open and welcome new visitors as always. Your sole figure remains there, blending in with the several other people with dexterity.

The romantic time of the day, some may say. The mere location itself has given it away fully.

Due to the amount of passing minutes that you've been inside, you started to feel quite chilly all over— causing yourself to mentally curse for not bringing a coat along with you, blaming yourself for your small mistake.

It doesn't take long for you to endure with a slight shiver, when a certain someone suddenly covers your form up with a rather sizeable coat; warming you up almost instantly without fail.

Admittedly, you got startled from the gesture and the sudden appearance, before deciding to turn around to face the said person.

And of course, it didn't take long for you to be able to fully register upon the familiar sight altogether— eyes instantly widening with a beaming smile.

"Ken, you actually came!" Without wasting any second of hesitation, you pulled him into an embrace— burying your face onto his chest with pure joy.

"Mmhm," Kenji hums, adding more to his words further with an equally happy expression, along with a mellow tone. "Of course I do."

He gradually encircles his arms around you, returning the embrace with equal fervor. Lowering his head ever so slightly, he silently allows you to burrow your face further against his chest for the time being— relishing within one another's mere presence.

Everything about him screams security, allowing yourself to drown into him without any worries; starting to feel more addicted as if he's some sort of a drug that made you hold onto life itself.

He's a famous person that is loved by many, and you're almost.. Nothing, like him. It's what keeps you questioning sometimes, and the way you're able to establish a rather special connection with him.

The difference between you two is like day and night itself; one that is vast and perceptible. Yet if only you knew— that Kenji never once is bothered by any of those existing statuses, not even the slightest. He appreciates you for being who you truly are.

"I figured that you'd be quite busy. I mean, I understand if you're unable to stop by earlier, y'know."

"Hey, don't worry about it." Just like that— he's able to dispel the existing anxiousness within you effortlessly so, still keeping his hold around you with just the right amount of force; not too assertive, and it just felt right.

"I'll always make time for you, my love."

His simple response made you beam in delight; noting the truth of his words alone.

No one is around the area that you both are in, does it-? It's as if nothing much mattered at this present moment, shielding yourselves with the makeshift reality that you both have unconsciously created— lost within your own little world without a care.

The stillness around the both of you, except for the occasional breathing sounds, makes the moment special somehow. You could clearly feel the heat radiating off from him and his coat alone; his warm breath brushes past your ear.

"Feeling any better now?"

"Yeah," you nodded with a grateful smile of your own. "Thank you, Ken."

Has he ever told you on how much he loves it whenever you call him Ken? It just hits different whenever you call him like that. He would lose his damn mind if he wants to.

"I appreciate you a whole lot," you added. "You don't usually go to places like this, that is."

"I just can't help myself but to come and see you.." A velvety chuckle slips past through his lips— planting a small kiss upon your forehead before gently pushing you away for a bit, just so that he could gaze at you.

"Honestly, I just— yeah, I missed you, a lot. I know I've been busy lately, but still.."

Kenji is speaking nothing short of pure honesty lacing his words. He misses the feeling of your frame against his own; letting his thumb tracing the contours of your face with such delicacy— every detail of your features none left untouched.

"What if I told you that I feel the same way too?" A cliche answer, but it works every single time.

Your gaze now darted towards the large painting ahead, which ostensively have shown a pair of lovers— holding onto one another as the life of the other gradually withers away.

He simply chuckled over your statement, immediately taking notice of the shift of your gaze; following your line of sight after.

"The painting looks a bit depressing, to say the least," he remarks, paying close attention about what the artist is trying to convey through the art.

"Yeah." You approached closer to the aforementioned painting, and the coat— his coat, still settled snuggly around your figure, trying your best to discern the details as well.

"I wonder what goes through the artists' mind while making this."

Kenji now stood beside you; the height difference very much noticeable. His eyes seemed to be observing it in every angle possible as well, placing his chin atop of your head from behind— no longer standing beside you.

"I'm curious about it too."

"Maybe it was meant to portray, you know— some tragedy?"

"Well, that definitely worked." He agreed along with your words, accompanied with a quick nod.

When he's sure that you're not looking at anywhere else but the painting alone, Kenji took the opportunity to glance down at you, secretly— or not-so-secretly, admiring the way his coat hangs around you almost loosely; yet fittingly so. You looked so beautiful to him like this, and he didn't dare to let his mind wander too far.

At this point, you didn't have to bring him along to the museum to see the arts, when you are the whole art itself.

A precious piece of art that he would love to keep with him for as long as he's breathing— if you would let him.

Every single part of you screams divine perfection to him. The way your eyes would light up whenever you see anything that interests you, or the way you would bite your lip in pure concentration unknowingly.

The way you speak, and the way you walk— God, don't get him started on the way he would always, successfully so, getting any sort of reaction out of you. The list is endless, and it felt like a personal reward, one that he's not-so-willingly share with anyone else.

No one can truly blame him for doing so, honestly. Kenji couldn't help it— he cherishes you so much that it almost hurts so good. Not out of obsession, but damn, that man loves you a little too much.

Nevertheless, nothing is truly too much for him to love you just the way you are.

Yet rightfully so, you never minded even the slightest. Kenji could never get enough of you; his love for you is always, and somehow, endless.

You smiled lovingly underneath his soft gaze, rubbing his own arm that's currently encircling around you so tenderly. You know that stare, but you just didn't want to point it out and simply wanted to relish within that feeling.

The people might see him as the arrogant, boastful person in the public eye— a mere facade that he puts up every so often when it deems necessary. But he acts so differently whenever he's around you, daring himself to let his walls down and be completely vulnerable with you.

With you, he has nothing to hide, shamelessly showing and proving his devotion to you alone; showing you a side that only you get the privilege of seeing it.

Kenji Sato will never cease to treasure you.

@luneariaa. do not repost; reblogs are welcomed. all rights reserved.

[vroomingrussell]

Charles Leclerc x Plus Size Reader

When online haters began to body shame Charles’ childhood best friend, he confesses something he’s been holding in for years. Some angst but mostly positive affirmations.

First F1 fic…. Enjoy.

You stood unmoving in the Ferrari garages; unable to peel your eyes away from the scene unfolding infront of you. Charles, you best friend since childhood, was moments away from fulfilling a dream he has had for years, a dream that had seemed unlikely, breaking the ‘Monaco curse’.

You were very aware of the cameras set on you and the rest of his family; they were feeding off the tension in the room, displaying a vulnerable moment to the crowd; and then it happened, he crossed the finish line and finally you felt like you could breathe again; with tears brimming in your eyes you embraced Arthur and then his mother. The cheers of victory ringing out in your ear.

Charles was elated and right fully so; he drove brilliantly and worked hard for this moment, in that moment he was the king of the world and you were happy to be a loyal subject. The celebration went on through the day and late into the night.

You smiled as your best friend looped a hand around your waist, drunkenly singing to the song in the club. “Charlie I have to use the bathroom” you called out to him.

“No stay, dance with me” he begged, but you needed to put some separation between you; the prying eyes of the other club goers left you feeling more exposed that the short black dress you wore did.

Monaco was home to beautiful models and heiresses, actresses and singers, beautiful woman that did not have shop outside of the sample sizes the designer boutiques that was on every street in Monte Carlo. You knew you were beautiful, you were confident in the body you had been given, curved like the goddesses your mother had said. But being around Charles always garnered attention you didn’t like. People that didn’t know you always had a lot to say, nothing nice. Women that wanted his attention hated you for having it; even though you were nothing more than best friends.

Reluctantly, Charles let you go “you owe me a dance Y/N” he called after you as you rush to find the bathroom.

You stood in the toilet stall, trying to ease the anxiousness that had settled in your chest. The bathroom door swung open and you could hear a hushed conversation.

“Did you see the girl that he was with?”

“Ick, horrendous whale” one girl giggled “Charles is such a pretty boy, it’s a shame he’s friends with someone like her”

“She’s so in love with him, poor thing does not realize he only likes models” the other said.

The rest of the conversation was drowned out by the loud beating of your heart. Online comments were something you were used to, the harassment from trolls never took a toll on you, but hearing it for yourself from girls you can imagine looked nothing close to you was a different kind of pain, and the reminder that Charles wouldn’t date someone like you, well you didn’t want to dwell on that, not when you had drilled it into your head since you were teens.

-

You skipped out on the rest of the celebrations after that. Heading home instead to your dog, the comfort of your paints.

By the time you had showered and changed into your favorite sleeping shorts and t shirt; the sun had began to rise over the beach, which you had a perfect view of from your balcony. The soft pinks and peach mixed together beautifully as you tried to replicate the view in front of you on canvas; for the moment you were in grossed by creating you didn’t hear the door open and close to your apartment.

“Y/N” Charles shouted, startling you.

“Christ Charles” you answered, hand over your heart as you stood up “do you want to kill me?”

“Why’d you leave?” He asked, not beating around the bush.

“Nothing- I was tired” you lied. Charles rolled his eyes at that, he knew you better than anyone, he could tell there was something on your mind.

“Truth”

“Would you date me?” You asked.

“Y/N” he said softly

“No, no I know, we’re friends, you don’t have feeling for me like that, but would you date me, or someone that looks likes me?” You gestured down to your body, soft stomach and thicker thighs, arms that weren’t toned nor defined.

“Who said something to you” He looked at you with a frown.

“Does it matter? Answer the question”

“Of course I would, specially you if you wished”

“Char, don’t joke” you pouted.

“Y/N.. I’m not”

“Charles, please” you sighed softly.

“I’m serious, you are the most beautiful, talented and smart woman I know, you are ways out of my league” he steps closer, hands reaching out to rest on your hips. “I did not think it would be possible for me to confess this is how I fell, how I’ve felt for a long time”

“Why?”

“Because everytime anyone mentions it, you said we are just friends, I thought you did not want to be with me”

“I’d be crazy not to want you, but we just can’t” you shook your head “I already get so much shit for being your friend, could you even imagine what they’d put me through if we dated?”

Charles shook his head and cupped your cheeks “sweet Y/N, why does it matter what anyone says, especially when they don’t know us?”

“It shouldn’t matter but it does, it hurts to be picked apart and shamed for existing… I have to think twice about the clothes I wear or what I eat in public, I cannot even fall in love without being afraid that I will be judged because I don’t look a certain way or because I am a certain size. It’s frustrating even when i am at my most confident, I worry about what other will say”

The silence stretches for a long moment before Charles pulls you in his arms “you know what I love the most about you? You are most radiant person I’ve ever met, you radiate this kinda of energy i cannot put into words, you make me feel calm and happy and confident.. you have not seen the effect you have on people; you can always put a smile on someone’s face, you are always so kind and gentle… I have seen the comments; the words people have said about you, the nasty ones and the good… and there’s so much good… you have inspired so many young women to embrace their own beauty… Y/N I love you, you might not believe me today because of the doubts that’s been planted in your mind but I will show you” he kisses the top of your head, vowing to show you just how true his words were.

[endlessapples]

synopsis: sylus has always been aware of other people's desires, long before they reveal them. but for today, it seems like his own birthday desires have appeared in front of him before he's had the chance to reveal them himself. in other words, what if reader turned into a cat for the day? and somehow learned that there was more to Onychinus's leader underneath his arrogant exterior. qin che | sylus x mc!reader bday drabble

Sylus doesn't care much for his birthday, not when it's served as a reminder of his own isolation from humanity. Others were sung to; they blew out candles on a cake and were gifted presents from their loved ones. And if he were born like any other human, perhaps that would have been the same for him.

But from his birth, he had believed his fate was predetermined: he lived alone; he would die alone.

At least, that was what he thought before he met you.

Even now, all these years later, although those old memories of we and us have long left your mind, he still finds that somehow, your presence has served as a reminder that he could reverse his own fate. And with that, he could one day reverse yours. Sylus has always been confident in that. Unshaken.

Yet, it seems like fate works against him. You still don't trust him. You fear him. You are repulsed by him.

And despite having lived his entire life untrusted, feared, and found repulsive by other humans...he finds that it rattles him the most to be experiencing those emotions from you.

"Boss! Happy birthday!" Luke and Kieran burst into his room, this time with sparklers--a fire hazard since it happens that they always choose the inside of his room to be the setting for their "surprise".

It's the twin's 18th attempt this month, and maybe he should let them know that today, for the first time that month, they're correct. As he considers it, Luke thrusts a cardboard box at him.

"What's this?" he quirks an eyebrow.

Mrow.

A fluffy round cat peers out at him. Despite the fact that those of the feline race are typically unable to convey human emotions, it's clearly looking up at him with what he can define as sheer disgruntlement. And that look...is somehow familiar.

The cat pounces out of the box with a soft mrrw, bounding away with the intent to hide underneath his sofa. But before he knows it, he's already used his evol to pull the cat back into his embrace. The cat lets out a hiss of annoyance and swats at him, but he notices that its claws are retracted. Clearly, there's no real attempt to hurt him.

"Look, Boss likes our gift!" Luke laughs, elbowing Kieran.

As Sylus peers down at its grumpy face, he thinks of a familiar hunter then. Its shiny eyes are the same exact shade as yours. And its fur matches the color and texture of your hair--soft, his right hand moves thoughtlessly towards the plump belly.

Mrow!

The cat lets out a fierce hiss this time, puffing its fur out until its double the size, and does another swat at his hand, this time with its claws out. He retracts his hand. The cat is fierce, just like that hunter. And it looks at him with a look that goes Don't you dare touch me!

An incredulous thought rushes through his mind just then. He makes eye contact with the cat again. Fully, this time. He knows those desires. He's always been able to see them, to feel them, to predict them.

"Now, now," he chuckles, almost out of a disbelief, "Is a little fierce kitten going to tell me how she exactly found herself in this state?"

When the cat--or in this case, you--turns to give a ferocious look at the twins, both Luke and Kieran roar out in laughter before turning and high-tailing it out there.

🐈🐉

An hour ago...

There really was no reason for you to be back in the N109 Zone. Your mission was clearly over. And yet, curiosity brought you back. Perhaps, it was out of curiosity--after all, you did want to test out the new ride that Sylus had casually mentioned last time. Or maybe, just maybe, it was because you had heard from the twins very recently that Sylus's birthday was some time this month and you might have been nervous that you had missed it. Just maybe.

When you had pressed the twins for more information, they had given each other a look that spelled trouble. And you really should have been more distrustful when Luke had given you a bottle and a sly wink. "Try it before you visit next time."

Kieran added. "It'll give you courage and then you can ask Boss any questions then, with no worries."

There was no way you were going to drink it. At least, until the thought of asking Sylus a question like "When's your birthday" had you feeling a little queasy from nerves (why? you had no clue), and maybe you were just a tad curious about what the twins meant about this drink. They wouldn't poison and kill you, right?

And when you had been in the N109 zone nearing Sylus's place, perhaps you had tried it then, and then you had started feeling dizzy. When your vision cleared back up, you found yourself much lower on the ground, on all fours, and...furry? You had looked up, making direct eye contact with the twins who had somehow appeared and looked like they had been waiting for you, and then you were scooped up into a cardboard box.

And now you were here, sprawled out on the lap of the leader of Onychinus. The twins had been caught by Sylus soon after they had fled and then dragged back. His evol kept them still, but you could still see their eyes shifting around as if they were trying to figure a way out.

"Now, is one of you going to tell me what happened?" he spoke. He was petting you now, though whether or not he was aware of doing so you couldn't quite tell. It felt nice, that you had to admit, and your eyes drooped shut in contentment as he stroked the back of your ears. And perhaps your small body was now rumbling with something that you couldn't quite control.

"Well, Boss...we didn't quite know what would happen. We just thought it was a little gag, you know, to give her some courage to ask you whatever. A placebo effect, I mean how were we supposed to know that could even happen...," Kieran spoke.

Before he could finish his statement, Luke burst out with a, "Well, it was his idea!"

Kieran swiveled to stare at Luke. "What are you talking about? It was your idea?"

They had begun squabbling now.

"Enough."

One word from Sylus had both of them falling quiet.

"Now, are you going to tell me if it'll be fixed?" Sylus's voice had lowered, until it sounded almost threatening, "And whether it'll harm her?"

The twins shook their heads frantically, and their voices synced up in their panic. "It'll wear off in 24 hours, that's what the label says! She'll be back to normal, we swear! No harm, no foul!"

Sylus did eventually let them go, but whatever punishment he had given them, you weren't fully aware of. It was easy to get sleepy in this body. After all, you had used up most of your energy earlier tussling around in the cardboard box and then trying to escape.

When you woke up from your long nap, you noticed that he had somehow fallen asleep too. But even in his sleep, his hand still rested on your back, covering up almost your entire body.

You took that time to stare up at him. It was weird. Even though you were smaller and more vulnerable now, this big scary man didn't seem to look...so big and scary anymore.

He had been worried about whether the liquid you had drank would hurt you. And though those twins were closer to him than you were, he had still punished them on your behalf.

You blinked, slowly. Maybe he was more caring than you thought.

"Are you bored now? Or is your favorite hobby now looking at other people while they're sleeping, Kitten?" his eyes remained closed as he spoke. And then he opened them.

You noticed belatedly that his eyes weren't red, at least it wasn't the red that you were used to. It seems like, as a cat, you couldn't quite see the world like you did as a human. In maybe more ways than one.

Mrw!

You made a sound of disagreement. He chuckled then, low.

"Well, I suppose you now live up fully to the name. A ferocious hunter has become an even more ferocious hunter."

You stayed silent then. Any reaction from you would just spur on more mocking from him. You take it back--maybe he is just a big bad man with a penchant for getting on your nerves.

"The twins said earlier that you drank it to...what, give you courage?" he paused, "To ask me what?"

Well, it wasn't like you could tell him that it was because you wanted to ask him when his birthday was, which really, was the most normal question anyone could ever ask and didn't warrant all these feelings of embarrassment and nervousness. Hell, taking down wanderers should've been more nerve-wracking than this, and you did that every day with ease. And besides, you were a cat. How were you supposed to even speak?

You then spotted the sparklers that the twins had dropped in their first mad scramble out of the room. You stared at the burnt sticks and then looked back up at Sylus and then looked back up at the sparklers. And then you looked back up at him and stared really hard.

"Ah...you wanted to know my birthday?" he was back to patting the back of your head now. You flicked your ears, feeling itchy all of a sudden. If only he could just scratch right there... "It's April 18th."

You swiveled your head to stare up at him. Today?

As if he heard you, he nodded. "Today."

You didn't even prepare a cake or anything. Or even a gift. And where were you going to get all of that now that you were stuck in this body for the rest of the day? You cursed out the twins in your head.

"You don't have to worry about anything." Again, he read your mind. "I don't have anything that I want for much."

You looked at him incredulously. Sure, he was wealthy and could buy whatever he wanted that existed in this world. But surely, there was something that his money couldn't buy.

His eyebrows furrowed slightly. There he goes, mind-reading again. And then he spoke, softly, "It seems that this year...my wish has already come true."

You squinted your eyes at him. What wish?

He chuckled. "Well, it's my first time spending the entire day with someone. It makes it feel special. As much as it seems like you hate your current predicament, I seem to find it quite the opposite. After all, isn't it quite fortunate for me then to have you spend today with me?"

You bumped your head against his hand. He stopped petting you then, and you rubbed your head against his hand. You then looked back up at him. Well, then I'll find this situation not too bad then.

He stared at you. There was something in his gaze, something that you couldn't quite decipher. It was something you had never seen in him before.

"Yes, it's not too bad then."

You let out a rumble, mimicking the closest sound to a laugh that you could with your current limited vocal cords. Happy birthday then! I'll spend the next 22 hours in your care.

A sly smile furled at his lips. "Just for the next 22 hours? Not even a second longer? Am I that detestable to you?"

You batted a paw at his hand. Keep talking, and I'll shorten it. You have 21 hours now!

He laughed, a true laugh, something that you hadn't heard before.

"Alright, alright, Kitten. I'll be careful with my words."

You blinked at him, slowly. Perhaps, you were right. Not about him being a big evil man. But about there being something more to him. Perhaps, he wasn't what others had made him out to be--cold, unfeeling, merciless, willing to get his hands dirty.

But those were thoughts you could save for later. You just nudged his hand back closer to your head. Now, scratch a little more to the right.

--

Extra:

Now that you were back on your two legs, you had set out on a tight agenda. First, you had yanked the ears of both the twins together as punishment, and then you set them off on a mission: distracting their Boss.

Sure, you didn't know what flavor of cake he liked and because of that maybe your hours in the kitchen trying to form a dragon out of red fondant was a waste of time, and maybe the crow feather ring you had gotten was a little too on the nose.

When he opened the door to his room, this time, it was you jumping out at him. You brandished your creation, all lit up with candles.

And as you sang to him, insisted that he make a wish, presented his gift with a grand voila, and insisted that he try a bite out of the fondant dragon (you knew it tasted disgusting and let out a roar of laughter when his nose crinkled), you saw the edges of his mouth curl up.

"What did you wish for? It's different from the wish you told me before right, it has to be. That wish already came true," you had asked him. "Wait no, don't tell me! It won't come true then!"

He was quiet for a bit. And then he looked at you, again with that indescribable look in his eyes. "It seems like my wish has already started to come true."

A/N: did not plan on writing this at all since I really should be working on chapter 2 and studying for exams so this is rushed lol...but the urge to pull for this banner and the gem poverty that holds me back...well I guess that impulsive energy has been converted into this instead haha! and I guess despite me not being the biggest fan of fluff, I decided to write it for our big grumpy softie of a dragon. we'll be back to our regularly scheduled dark themes soon :p

[theemporium]

oscar w a feral!gf who fully believes that she could fight a kangaroo. idk, it's kind of a shit prompt but just a lil something

-🌠

don't know what the fuck this became but enjoy! thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

“You sure you’ve got her?”

“ I'll be fine.” 

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’ve got—wait, baby, no—” 

You burst into a fit of giggles as you felt Oscar’s arms wind around your waist, pulling you back into his chest before you could get far. You leaned back into his embrace, tilting your head back until you were practically looking up at him upside down—a sight that only made you giggle even more.

Your friend raised her brows, looking at Oscar with a doubtful look. “Are you absolutely sure?” 

He gave her a tight-lipped smile as he held you up, but something in his chest eased a little at how concerned your friend was. It was reassuring, in some odd way. It was nice to know you had a good support group when he was half-way across the globe, wishing he was beside you. 

“I can handle her,” he said, almost sounding amused when you let out a scoff. 

“I don’t need help! I am so fine on my own,” you commented, attempting to step away from him to prove a point but the stumble in your legs had him clinging onto you. “I could, like, totally fight a kangaroo right now.”

Oscar pressed his lips together to bite back his smile. “A kangaroo?” 

“Yeah,” you nodded confidently before gasping, looking at your boyfriend with wide eyes. “Oh my god, you’re basically a kangaroo.” 

“Jesus, you drank a lot,” Oscar murmured as he waved your friend goodbye, watching her head back inside to the bar he had just driven to to pick you up before he began guiding you towards his car.

“I could fight you!” You said, sounding far too happy about the prospect of it. “I have a mean right hooker!”

“Hook,” he corrected with a fond smile. “Do you even know what that means?”

“Of course not,” you said before bursting into another fit of giggles, practically sinking back into his embrace and giving him your full body weight. 

To his credit, Oscar hardly even faltered. Instead, his arms remained locked around you as he practically carried you towards the passenger seat of his car. He continued to let you ramble away, knowing that at some point you would tire yourself out and the sleepier side of your drunk self would come out. 

“Do I annoy you?” 

Oscar’s head snapped around to you so quickly, it was almost comical. Luckily, the car had been parked at a red light, but that didn’t stop the uncomfortable twist in his stomach when the question passed your lips.

“What?” He frowned as he watched you lazily blink at him, almost as though you were waiting for him to say yes. “Baby, I—” He paused, shaking his head. “No, of course not.”

“Okay,” you said, giving him a small smile. “I don’t think you’re annoying either.”

But the light-hearted teasing didn’t shift his attention away from the heavy question. “Why would you ever think you annoyed me?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, unable to fight the yawn leaving your lips as you leaned further back in your seat once the lights went green and Oscar began driving again. “Just heard some people mentioning something.”

Oscar frowned. “Who?” 

But you just shrugged again.

And maybe somewhere in your drunk and fuzzy brain, you knew not only would it be embarrassing to say out loud, but also that Oscar would be upset by it. He didn’t get angry, not when it came to himself. He was fairly laid-back, he let things mostly wash over him before moving on with his life. 

But when it came to the people he loved? When it came to you? It was a whole different story.

You knew that it would upset him that somebody upset you, that their words affected you enough to play on your insecurities and doubts. It would upset him to hear someone bashing you in such a cowardly way, mocking the way you acted and how loud your personality was. It would upset him to hear the way they thought you were too much for him, not good enough for him. 

People like you weren’t right for people like Oscar. 

“Baby,” he said in a soft voice after you had fallen quiet. He watched as you blinked, glancing around and seeming to realise you were now parked outside his place. “Look at me.” 

You turned your head, your eyes meeting his and something eased in your chest. 

He reached towards you, his hand engulfing your cheek as you leaned into his touch. He watched you for a moment before leaning over the console, pressing a soft and chaste kiss on your lips before he spoke. “I don’t know what happened but you could never annoy me.”

You blinked, your hand reaching out to hold his wrist like you were scared he would pull away. “Promise?” 

“Promise,” he said with a nod before smiling at you, that full lip smile that made your heart stutter a little. “C’mon now, need to get my pretty girl ready for bed.”

You snorted, rolling your eyes even if the idea of your boyfriend doting over you warmed your heart. “M’tired,” you grumbled as you watched Oscar reach for the door. “Let’s just go to bed.”

“Nuh uh, gotta take your makeup off, baby,” he said with a shake of his head, smiling a little when you let out a whine. “I promise I’ll do all the work.”

Your smile brightened. “Have I mentioned that I love you?” 

“Yeah, once or twice,” he grinned back at you. “I love you too.”

“Of course you do.” 

Oscar sighed. “Had to ruin the moment, didn’t you?”

“Just pointing out the facts, my kangaroo boy.”

His nose scrunched up. “Please do not let that become a thing.”

You could only laugh in response.

.

[icyg4l]

How Have You Grown Over the Past Year?

Hello beautiful people! Happy New Year! I am so happy to be posting this new PAC for you all. I plan to upload more frequently from now on in this new year of 2025. I am currently available for personal readings so if you would like one, please message me privately! As the title states, this reading is all about recognizing the growth you've made in the past twelve months. So without further ado, please choose the pile that resonates with you the most!

Top Left to Bottom Right: (1-4)

Pile One: You must have gone from boo'd up to single, Pile One. I am hearing the word, "uprooted". Throughout the past year, you have been put in uncomfortable situations consecutively. You could have had to switch jobs because of an incident or move homes because of a mold problem (for some of you). You could have lost multiple loved ones. Either way, these situations have helped you become more self-sufficient and resilient. Tragedies are hard to deal with, however, you have learned what not to do. You intuitively picked up on how to handle situations that others would not be able to. You may feel hardened by these particular experiences, unable to see past your traumas. But you are more empathetic than ever. It is important that you know you will be a great teacher some day. One day you will look back on everything that you have accomplished while in the midst of chaos.

Cards Used: 4 of Wands. 3 of Swords. The High Priestess. 5 of Cups. 10 of Cups.

Affirmation: "I am actively rebuilding my life one step at a time."

Pile Two: The past couple of years could have been socially debilitating for you. Some of you could have prominent Saturn placements, such as a 1H Saturn or Capricorn/Aquarius Sun. I am sensing an energy of nervousness here. It's possible that you can have prominent Virgo/Gemini energy too. Anyway, you have had a come-to-Jesus moment. For years, you have allowed yourself to fall behind, to be in the shadows. But now, you you are making the attempt to be heard and seen. But remember who you are doing this for. Is it to wear the shoes of those who've belittled you? Or is it to walk your own path with your head held high? It seems that you are choosing to believe in yourself rather than listening to other people. You're becoming bolder by the minute. It's what your inner child would have wanted. Trusting the ideas that make no sense will be fulfilling to you. Make sure that you continue to leave your mark on this world, dear.

Cards Used: 3 of Cups (RX). The Hermit. 6 of Cups. Judgment. 8 of Wands.

Affirmation: "Expressing myself comes easy."

Pile Three: You deserve a round of applause, babe. It takes a lot of strength and tenacity to be loved. To be vulnerable with someone is to be seen fully by the other person. Your energy feels like a warm embrace. Your goal of feeling whole cannot be completed without the right people around you. Be glad that you've let these people in as they genuinely care for you. You've acquired peace, because you've realized that being hyper-independent isn't enough. Because of pride, many people would not own up to their feelings of insecurity. But because you are honest with yourself and are humble enough to allow honest people in your life, you are now living in a world full of happiness. Peace and quiet is great to bask in. Just stay grounded and don't let self-sabotage get to you.

Cards Used: The World. Strength. Queen of Discs. King of Discs.

Affirmation: "Love and support surrounds me everywhere I go."

Pile Four: Self-concept is important, is it not? That's why you made the decision to stop beating yourself up. You stopped setting unrealistic goals for yourself that could have possibly landed you into the hospital, or a rehab facility. You fought for a healthier body image. You casted spells to feel more comfortable in your skin. You have reflected on the jokes and slick comments, and instead of sulking, you just sat with them. You take them to the chin. It has taken a lot of rewiring to not make yourself the butt of the joke, but here you are. Forgiving yourself is no easy journey. But you have done it. You are doing it. Now don't let anyone, including yourself, deface you again. Letting the haters hate you, instead of being a self-hater, is a damn good philosophy that you've added to your noggin, babe!

Cards Used: 7 of Wands. The Emperor. 3 of Wands. 4 of Discs. 10 of Wands (RX). Queen of Wands.

Affirmation: "I accept my body in every form that it comes in"

[lottiematthewsdefender]

I don’t want to hurt you

Pairing ! Young!lottie x chubby!reader

Request !

Lottie was sitting down on the couch, waiting for you to get off your afternoon shift, she’s been waiting for you to come over to her place all afternoon.

She was tapping her foot impatiently. With each passing minute, her excitement grew, and she couldn't help but count the moments until she saw you again.

the sound of the front door opening interrupted her thoughts. It was you, finally back from work. You looked tired but happy to be home.

Lottie immediately stood up, a smile spreading on her face as she saw you walk in. "Hi baby!" she said, unable to contain her excitement. "I was starting to think you'd never get here."

You laughed softly, putting down your belongings and kicking off your shoes at the door. "Sorry, it was a long day. But I'm here now."

Lottie approached you, taking your hand in hers. "You look exhausted. Did you have a busy shift?"

You nodded, letting out a sigh as Lottie led you to the couch. "Yeah, it was a long one. I couldn’t even take a break.."

She sat down and patted her lap, gesturing for you to join her. "Come here," she said gently. "You need to relax."

You hesitated, your gaze shifting to Lottie's lap and then back to her face. A flutter of uncertainty crossed your features, and Lottie's eyes narrowed, sensing your hesitation.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her voice soft and reassuring.

You took a deep breath, debating how to tell her the truth. "I'm just... worried about sitting on your lap." you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Lottie's expression shifted from curiosity to concern, her eyes growing gentle and understanding. "Why?" she said softly, patting her lap again.

You let out a soft laugh, still hesitant. "I'm just scared I might be too heavy for you."

Lottie shook her head, her expression both amused and exasperated. "Come on, don't be silly. You're not too heavy, I can handle you just fine."

She patted her lap again, insistently that you should sit on her lap.

You sighed, you couldn’t resist any longer. You slowly lowered yourself onto Lottie's lap, your body tense.

as you settled, you felt Lottie's arms wrap around you, pulling you closer into her. She held you tight, her grip steady and comforting.

"See?" she whispered in your ear. "You fit perfectly."

You couldn’t shake off the anxiety about your weight. You didn’t want to put too much weight on her, so you shifted your body constantly.

Lottie noticed this and gently placed her hands on your hips, stopping your movement. “Stop fidgeting..” she said, her voice quiet. “Let me hold you..”

You fidgeted uncomfortably, still worried about crushing Lottie with your weight. "I don't want to hurt you," you said, your voice muffled in Lottie's shoulder. "I'm afraid I'm too heavy for you."

Lottie ran her fingers through your hair, her touch gentle and soothing. "You're not going to hurt me," she said softly. "Trust me."

You took a deep breath, trying to relax against Lottie's chest. "It's just... I've been conscious about my weight," you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper.

Lottie wrapped her arms around you tighter, her grip firm and reassuring. "You don't have to worry about that with me," she murmured. "I love you just the way you are."

tears well up in your eyes, overwhelmed by Lottie's words. No one had ever accepted you so completely, flaws and everything. With a deep breath, you finally let go of your fears.

You relaxed into Lottie's embrace, feeling her warmth and strength enveloping you. She held you close, her breathing steady and soothing.

"Just let go and relax," she whispered, her voice a soothing balm. "You're perfect the way you are, and I'm here to hold you, no matter what."

You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to fully enjoy Lottie's embrace. You inhaled deeply, taking in her scent, and leaned your head against her shoulder. Her heartbeat echoed in your ears, a steady rhythm that grounded you.

As the moments passed, you felt the last of your worries fade away. You realized that Lottie was right - you were not too heavy, and she could handle your weight with ease.

"Thank you," you murmured, your voice barely heard.

Lottie tightened her grip around you, her chin resting on your shoulder. "You're welcome. Baby."