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chiiyuuvv · 1 month ago

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understands ★

down bad!nicholas 1.5k words

notes! inspired by song linked in 'notes!' "i'll admit that i'm scared / 'cause i've never really cared as much as this / it's worth the risk" screamed nico so ofc i had to write about it. warning!! this is very delusional, read at your own risk

▸ 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺?

“ta.. da..” nicholas pops out of his hiding place once he hears the rooftop double doors creak open. the huge grin plastered on his face shrinks to a shy smile, suddenly self-conscious now that you were in front of him. “hi..” he mumbles, the back of his neck suddenly itchy from embarrassment.

“hi,” you breath out in shock, your eyes darting past flustered nicholas to scan the deck he decorated just for you. it seemed unlike his character to put so much care in an objective, a picnic blanket placed in the center of the area with pillows surrounding the perimeter. a speaker was placed to the far left of you, soft rnb echoing from the device. there wasn’t a need for any lights, the cloudless stars being your source to see.

“do you like it?” nicholas’s voice releases the breath you didn’t even know you were holding, his chest pressed against your back as he drapes his arms around your waist. “i, um.. put a lot of time into it,” his deep chuckle rings in your ear, his chin resting on your shoulder.

“why?” you turn in his embrace, your eyes widening at the lack of space between you. nicholas looks down at you as you look up, the sparkle in his stare brighter than any star in the sky. if you examine closely, the tips of his ears match his hair, the small smile still adoring his features.

“you know..” he starts off timid, his voice small as his shoulders do a little shrug. “i just wanted to.. say thank you, for everything,” the way his voice trails off suggests there were more to his reasons, but for now, you nod in acknowledgement at his heartwarming gesture.

“you didn’t have to,” your voice was as small as his as you pressed your head against his chest. he takes it as a sign to bring you closer, his fresh scent invading your nose.

“i had too,” he defends. you could only chuckle at how persistent the boy was being, especially after the incident. you always found it to be no big deal, unable to realize how much you changed the boys' world.

nicholas was upset.

the joyful cheers of your friends and their video games fade into nothing once the male prances past the living room and into his room, slamming his door with frustration. the commotion makes harua jump in his seat, you and taki sending worrisome looks at each other. “don’t mind him,” euijoo chimes, placing his controller on his lap as he shakes his head. “he just needs some space. anyways, who’s up for another round of mario kart?!” and just like that, the happy energy resumes like nothing happened.

maybe it was your stubborn attitude telling you to do something after euijoo told you not to, but you found yourself in front of nicholas’s door moments after the boys passed out from their gaming.

“go away,” his voice was raspy compared to the soft knocks on his door.

“i brought some strawberries,” you squeak, still determined to make the male open the door. “i’m sorry if i’m being annoying, i just want to make sure you’re oka–” the door swung open before you could finish your sentence, hair covering nicholas’s sharp eyes as he looked down at you like you were some type of pest.

“if i take the food, would you leave me alone?” he sounded irritated, his words straight to the point.

“actually,” you give an awkward smile, “can i come in?”

nicholas was stressed.

“i feel like i’ve been trapped inside a box filled with impossible accomplishments, yet i have no one to turn to when i need help,” nicholas mutters, his head placed comfortably on your lap. you hum in response, giving him the opportunity to rant his heart out as your fingers comb his hair. “it feels so hard doing everything by myself.”

“who says you’re by yourself?” nicholas perks up at your words, your hands still in his hair as you give him a reassuring smile. “i’m sorry you feel so imprisoned, nico,” you begin, your hand sliding down to cup his cheek. your thumb rubs the skin. “it may not feel like a lot, but you have me to support you.”

“oh,” he breathes, shocked by your words. “thanks.”

nicholas was in love.

“are you good?” you turn your head to the boy in question, your elbow resting against the diner table. nicholas turns to face you with a smirk, jokingly raising an eyebrow.

“what, i can’t laugh at what my own best friend is saying?” he teases, suddenly glad you were sitting on the same side so he could itch closer to your body. his heart skips a beat when you lean even closer, your noses centimeters from each other.

“not when our nico sounds so cute!” yudai, the friend you forgot was accompanying you chimes. he leans his chin into his hands on the other side of the table, nicholas snapping his head to the older in annoyance.

“i’m not cute,” he nags, sending yudai a look. the boy only winks in return.

“yeah, you’re right!” you defend, playfully furrowing your brows at yudai as you wrap your arm around nicholas’s shoulder, bringing him closer to you. “you’re my cutie,” you giggle, pinching the boys cheek. unline how he reacted to yudai, nicholas keeps quiet, clearly flustered by your words.

“but i’m wrong when i say the exact same thing,” yudai bellows, raising his hands in defeat. “favoritism!!” he says, loud enough to get looks from across the restaurant.

…

“you’ve put so much time and effort into me, the very least i can say is thank you,” you appreciated his words, but deep down you knew there was something more to nicholas’s actions. especially since he’s been acting so differently around you. the way his eyes linger onto yours, how his lovesick smiles appear as soon as you enter a room. he makes you feel warm inside, like you were so special to him.

“you’re welcome but,” you stop to chuckle in disbelief, “no one sets up an entire date to show how grateful they are, nico. seriously, what’s all of this about? you’ve been acting so weird lately,” your fingers trace his jawline as you speak, determined to pry his mind apart.

“because i..” he stops to catch his breath, his heartbeat speeding up when he looks into your eyes. a hand lets go of your waist to interlock the fingers on his face, placing light pecks on the tips. “i’ve never felt like this before,” the boy finally opens up, squeezing your hand. “i never felt so carefree, so loved. you’ve taken me in like i was yours to begin with, you’ve been so sweet, so soft, so inviting. i can be myself without receiving any judgement, i can feel upset without having to be guilty about it. y/n, you help me realize that..”

“that?” you tilt your head, tears welling up at nicholas’s precious words. the boy keeps quiet, his nervousness getting the better of him. he feels as if he doesn’t deserve one drop of your undivided attention. you were an angel that flew from heaven who constantly put a smile on an unorganized guy like him. you had a life, yet you put it on pause to help regulate nicholas. all those late night calls filled with encouragement when you could have turned off your phone and went to bed, he didn’t know what it was that made him worthy of you. you were too good for him.

he must do something to show how much he appreciates you, right? even if that meant rehearsing his confession for hours in front of a mirror after he got home from work, or turning his rooftop into something you’ve always dreamt about. although he was scared, he still thought you were worth the risk.

his eyes stay glued to yours as you stand in the tense silence. his heart speeds up again because god, you were so pretty. he hates that he’s come to this realization now. in a swift movement, his hands let go of your body to gently cup your cheeks, lifting your chin so now he had a straight shot at your lips.

he licks his own in anticipation, your presence making his mind go blank, your soft breath erasing all the doubts in his head. he lets out a sigh before connecting your lips in a feverishly slow pace, his figure being sent to a world of bliss as your mouths move against each others. he starts to feel dizzy when you grip his shirt, pulling him closer like you were going to lose him if you didn’t. words couldn’t never express the amount of love you had for each other.

letting go of your lips, his hands circle around your waist again, ducking his head to kiss the salty tears from your face. if it weren’t for your soft giggle, you would have heard the boy sniffle. he pushes your foreheads together, closing his eyes in bliss.

“you’re the only one who understands.”

︴bonus! kinda got carried away, anyways i hope you enjoyed hehe

▸ taglist 📬 @cherrycolaberry , @wtfisgoingright . @slytherinshua , @luvnicho , @enhacolor , @lakoya

🎬 navi

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wheeboo · 1 year ago

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admire me (like I do for you) | choi seungcheol

SYNOPSIS. in which seungcheol shows you his tattoos. PAIRING. choi seungcheol x gn!reader GENRE. fluff, just very intimate fluff, implied idol au (because his tattoos are dedicated to svt + carats) WARNINGS. some suggestive undertones, cheol takes off his shirt, touching, one curse word, cheol teasing reader, reader jokingly calling themselves a pervert cuz cheol is shirtless, terms of endearment (love), a kiss at the very end WORD COUNT. 1.9k

notes: um this was just a random thought I had. ik we have never gotten a full glimpse of his tattoos so this is just my imagination and from the research i’ve done heh.

You find your body buried deep in the comfort of your blanket, eyes closed shut as the faint moonlight squeezes its way through your closed window blinds. Nothing but peace and quietness floats in your bedroom, but the only thing that is keeping you awake is knowing your boyfriend was still awake right next to you.

Seungcheol thinks you are asleep, often sneaking glances in your direction to make sure before returning his attention to the video game on his phone, the brightness of the screen illuminating his bare face. But when he isn’t looking, you would sneakily peek an eye open, smiling softly under the blanket to his concentration𑁋the subtle furrow of his brow, the way his lips occasionally curve into a satisfied smile of victory, or his quiet whispers of narration to himself.

“No, no, no. Shit,” Seungcheol murmurs to himself, his fingers manuevering expertly on his screen. “Did he have to sneak up on me like that?”

He leaves the game in a pit of disappointment, before realising the awfully late time displayed on his phone. Slowly stretching his arms upwards, Seungcheol lets his gaze flicker towards you.

Somehow, you can feel his eyes on you, even with them closed. There’s a soft smile that plays at his lips as he turns himself around to place his phone on the bedside table, turning on his alarm and shutting off the sound of his notifications. And during this moment, you open one eye, and you manage to catch a glimpse of something that has been running through your imagination for the longest time.

Just barely, you notice the dark ink of his tattoo peeking out of his shirt at the base of his neck. It looks like a tree. You’ve seen many glimpses of it before, but not in its full glory, simply because of your nervousness to ask and how intimate and overwhelming crossing that boundary might feel to you and him.

The bed dips down from Seungcheol’s shifting movements as he settles himself back in the bed, careful not to make any noise. But you get yourself to elicit a deliberate groan, making Seungcheol glance back down at your worriedly.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” he asks quietly.

You let out a soft chuckle, trying to appear groggy as you shift and open both of your eyes. “No... it’s okay. Could barely fall asleep without you.”

A tender smile eases its way onto his face that deepens his dimples. “Well, I’m here now. Shall we?”

Seungcheol comfortably scoots himself closer to you, a contented sigh leaving his lips as you feel his hands grab onto your arms to encircle around him. He pulls you closer to him, and you feel the relaxing rise and fall of his chest and the quiet rhythm of his heartbeat sync with yours.

As the quietness lingers around you both, you still find yourself to be wide awake. Though perfectly content in Seungcheol’s arms, your mind is still clouded with the thoughts of his tattoo. It’s not... that you want to see it right then and there𑁋it’s Seungcheol’s choice, of course𑁋but the curiosity and desire to explore that part of him continue to tug at your heart.

With a sudden surge of courage, you take a deep breath and muster up the calling his name. “Cheol?”

He stirs a bit in your hold, or is he holding you? It’s hard to tell. “Hmm?”

You hesitate for a moment, your voice barely above a whisper. "Um... You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but would it be okay if I...” A momentary pause. “...if I could see your tattoo one day?"

Your words make him pull back from you, but it’s hard to see his face from the pitch blackness of the bedroom. However, you can hear him reach over to turn the lampshade back on, and the room is immediately casted with a warm, dim glow. The two of you sit up in bed together, with Seungcheol criss-crossed right in front of you, and there’s a hint of vulnerabilty in his eyes from the way his lips seem to quiver.

“Like I said, you don’t have to. It’s just, uh...” You think about the times you’ve caught glimpses of it. The first time was when you accidentally caught him changing to go to the gym, and you caught a fleeting glance of it when he had his back towards you in the doorway and you were quick to dismiss yourself to tend to your racing heart. Ever since then the visual thought had crept up into your mind, and each time he would turn around, you try to visualise what it look like entirely... not in a creepy way, of course.

Seungcheol moves closer to you on the bed, his eyes seemingly searching through yours.

“I can show it to you,” Then he takes a pause. “but only if you’re really sure, because it’s... in a tough spot, sort of.”

You chuckle lightly. “I just... didn’t know how to ask or if you were, you know, comfortable.”

“Are you comfortable?” he asks. “because you already know I’m willing to do anything for you.”

As his words wash over you, you feel the heat sprouting in your face. You have always loved how he always made sure you were comfortable with anything you do together. He is cautious and careful with you, and understands your reasoning for wanting to take things at your own pace. And he has told you many times just how important you are to him, even more than himself.

But now maybe you can show him just how important he is to you.

“Yeah, I... I’m good,” You tell him, though you can still feel that pint of nervousness inside. But you want this𑁋you want to see this small, meaningful part of him. “Can I... see it?”

His gaze is warm, comforting, as he gives you a nod before positioning himself so that his back was facing towards you. Reaching down to the ends of his shirt, he slowly pulls it upward, gifting you with the sight of the bare skin of his back inch by inch. The dim light of the lamp dances on his skin, casting soft shadows that accentuate the contours of his back muscles along with his arms𑁋you can’t believe these are the same arms that he uses to hug and cuddle you. The sight makes something catch in your throat.

And as you trail your eyes up his body, you finally see it𑁋the tree tattoo, along with two other small ones you never noticed until now on either side. The tree was larger than you thought, but it wasn’t any less beautiful in your eyes; in fact, you take in its simplistic design with nothing but admiration.

You couldn't help but reach out, fingers trembling slightly, as if afraid to rub away the ink of the tattoo despite it being permanent. Your touch grazes the edge of the tattoo, tracing the lines that make up the bark of the tree. As your fingertips make contact with his skin, Seungcheol flinches, feeling a sudden shiver run down his spine.

“Sorry,” You apologise quickly, taking your finger away from his skin. “I should’ve asked.”

“It’s okay.” You can’t see his face but you know he is. “You can... you can touch it. You can touch me.”

For some reason you feel your heart skip just from that last sentence alone𑁋the way he says it with such vulnerability and intimacy, as if he’s giving you full permission to let your touch wander anywhere. His breath hitches again when your fingers meet his skin once more, this time with more confidence. Instinctively, he feels himself leaning in more to your touch, feeling the way your hands wander over the story etched into his skin.

“What does J.O.Y mean?” You ask him, bringing your attention to one of his small tattoos.

“Ah, it’s the name of one of our albums,” he answers willingly. “It’s supposed to symbolise the journey of youth, like a source of motivation to the younger generation.”

The thought makes you grin. Seungcheol has always been proud of his accomplishments for his group, so him putting meaning into his tattoos makes them even more special.

“I love that,” Then you move onto his other small tattoo. “and you have the date you debuted here?”

His body vibrates from the chuckle that leaves him. “It’s a reminder of when it all began.”

You let out an acknowledging hum in response before continuing to graze your finger over his tattoos, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your touch. Each stroke reveals a little more of his story, his passions, and his journey. He seems to be more relaxed now𑁋at least from what you see. Seungcheol, on the other hand, is trying so hard not to make it obvious the effect your touch has on him is.

Finally, you make your way towards the tree at the base of his neck. The feeling makes him shiver once more.

“What does the tree represent?”

“It’s an olive tree, the birth flower of our debut date,” Seungcheol explains. “but it also serves as a symbol of peace and growth.”

You take a moment to let the meaning sink in, quietly appreciating his words. The significance of the olive tree as a symbol of peace and growth intertwines just perfectly with the journey he's been on as an artist and as a person.

"It's beautiful," You murmur, voice filled with genuine admiration. "just like you."

A blush creeps onto Seungcheol's cheeks as he turns to look back at you for a moment, a bashful look to his face.

“You can’t say that,” he says, a deep exhale leaving him as his shoulders relax. “You know what it does to me.”

And because of that, you watch as he turns around to face you before you could respond, and your eyes immediately shoot down his bare chest, his abs, and then quickly dart back up to meet his gaze, feeling the embarrassment shoot up your face. Your voice catches in your throat, suddenly feeling the overwhelming nervousness take over.

Seungcheol notices your sudden shift in gaze and chuckles softly.

"Caught you looking." he teases, a boyish smile tugging at his lips.

Your cheeks heat up even more, and you fumble for words, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. "I... uh... I-I wasn't... I mean..."

Seungcheol's laughter fills the room, and he reaches out to cup your face gently, letting his touch soothe your nerves.

"I'm just teasing, love," he reassures you, letting his thumb stroke your cheek. "Don’t feel embarrassed.”

“I feel like a pervert,” You admit aloud, an awkward laugh leaving you. You already knew there was no reason for you to feel this way, but you can’t shake the feeling away because your boyfriend is shirtless in front of you and you have no idea how to react other than wanting to sink yourself deep into your bed in a pit of shame.

You feel his hand trail down to your chin, causing you to look back up at him. However, his face contains nothing but affection. How does he manage to look at you like this, nothing but adoration in his eyes but be this attractive right in front of you?

“I love it when you admire me,” He leans in awfully close, voice lowering. “just like I do for you.”

His words send a shiver down your spine, and you can feel the intensity of his gaze as he leans in closer. You swallow a lump in your throat, glancing between his eyes and his mouth.

And then as his lips brush against yours, it’s like a soft caress on your skin. There’s a surge of warmth that spreads throughout your body as it deepens ever so slightly, and you could feel the smile tug your own face when you feel his own lips curl too.

taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @ylliris-hanniehae @icyminghao

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