#ultras sleeping dances

[kai-sunflower]

I'm. so exhausted todya my brain decided yes. let's spill my almost nonexistent brain juice on my drawin tablet and create something that will. not be coherent at all

[arminsumi]

「 🔴 RECORDING 」

found footage of satoru's student years... recorded on the camcorder that he carried around everywhere.

warnings : heavy angst, fluff, implied death, not proofread

[ the first footage is one minute long. there's two blue eyes widening comedically on the screen. the resolution is low and the audio is tinny. ]

"Ooo it works... well hellooooooo there... i'm... GOJO!! SATORU!! and this is... suguuuuruu getooooo... oh look at that walk, you're such a model."

[ the camera is on suguru, who's walking with bad posture. he doesn't like the camera. ]

[ he has his old hairstyle; this was recorded before his hair was long enough to be in the bun style. he hides his face from the camera. ]

"... aw, he's a model that doesn't like cameras. anyways... this is the beautiful... STUNNING... hot... talented... playing-hard-to-get... (haha kidding)... y/n~"

[ the camera pans to you. you can hear the flirty tone in satoru's voice. ]

"... we are currently walking through the gates of hell..."

[ the camera pans to the school. the resolution clears for a second to show a blue sky with slowly drifting clouds. ]

"okay. we have arrived in hell; look there's satan himself—"

[ the camera pans to yaga. ]

[ the footage ends with yaga confiscating satoru's camera and scolding him. ]

[ a video starts off shaky. the camera is dropped on the train floor and suguru sighs. ]

"satoru...... did you just break it after having it for one day?"

[ satoru picks it up and gives a toothy smile to the screen. ]

"nah. she's all good. not even a scratch. ooh... suguru we look so hot. and look how hot y/n is... she's so scandalous — sittin' next to me on the train. this proximity's got me sweatin', baby... kidding kidding... don't gimme that look!"

[ suguru gives the middle finger to the camera and satoru's iconic laugh sounds beautiful even through the crap audio quality. ]

[ there's a 3 minute video that's half-corrupted of a party happening in your apartment... of just you, satoru, suguru and shoko. lykke li's "i follow rivers" is playing loudly, satoru is screaming the lyrics in broken english and suguru is recording you and him dancing like maniacs. shoko is offering her cigarette to the camera and blowing smoke into the lens. ]

[ there's a 25 second clip of satoru aggressively kissing you until you laugh. ]

[ there is a photo of satoru crouching to pet a cat. he's holding an umbrella. ]

[ there is corrupted footage of laughter and a flicker of the video shows a tiny pot on a stove with ramen cooking in it. ]

[ there's a photo of you, satoru, suguru and shoko. you and satoru are looking at each other like lovebirds. suguru is giving the finger to the camera. shoko is laughing with her eyes closed. ]

[ a long video of satoru waking up in a hotel bed. he looks like he just woke up. he blinks at the camera, bleary-eyed and cute with puffy lips and messy hair. ]

"goodmornin'."

[ his morning rasp is strong. ]

"i'm awake... but miss sleepy head and mister sleepy head are not, as you can see..."

[ he zooms in on your face. you're laid at his right, and suguru is laid at his left. ]

"here's the sleeping angel... and here's the sleeping dragon... anyways... WAKEY WAKEYYYYYYYYY!!! IT'S A BRIGHT NEW DAY!!!"

[ suguru's wakeful groan sounds groggy and disturbed by satoru's loud, piercing wake-up call. you scrunch your face as you wake up, seemingly out of a dream. ]

"satoru... what the hell is the matter with you..."

[ it's an ultra close-up shot of your nose as you mumble this. ]

"i was lonely being awake by myself, gosh. you're so mean!"

[ he experiences a voice crack. suguru gives a sleepy, murderous look at his best friend. ]

"satoru... i swear i'm gonna throw that camera into traffic one day."

[ suguru's mumbling into his pillow too softly to be taken seriously. ]

"wanna say that to the camera?"

[ suguru looks grouchy. ]

"i'll kill you."

"WOW... buddy, this is evidence if you ever do kill me... the police will find this footage... 'n put your FLAT ass in jail. aw... y/n fell back asleep look look... aw she's so fucking precious."

[ suguru and satoru admire you for a bit. there rest of the footage is corrupted. ]

[ footage of a breakfast in the same hotel. sunny side eggs are zoomed-in on. and there's only eggs. ]

"we're too broke to buy bacon, isn't that cool?"

[ satoru gets a nice view up his nose as he tilts the camera to himself. then he turns the camera to you, who's sleepily eating this miserable breakfast. ]

"... so we just have eggs to eat... heyyyy hot babe..."

[ satoru flirts with you and you roll your eyes in response, smiling and chewing on your egg, fork in one hand. ]

"wanna hear a joke?"

"mhm."

"if you ever broke up with me, what would you call me?"

"an idiot?"

"your eggs."

[ you groan and stop eating because his pun was so awful, but you've got a big smile on your face and satoru is laughing heartily. ]

[ the video ends with you and satoru leaning in for a big kiss and a sleepy suguru walking into the room, itching his tummy under his shirt. ]

[ there's a clip of you, satoru, suguru and shoko yelling happy new year and watching fireworks explode into blazing, brilliant colors. suguru winks at the camera as you hold it and you giggle flirtatiously back. there's clearly tension between you two that neither satoru nor shoko acknowledge in the moment, because the fireworks distract them. ]

[ there's footage of you, satoru and suguru kissing. it ends with satoru kissing the camera as a joke. ]

[ most of the footage is corrupted after this. in the next video, satoru seems a bit older. ]

[ there's footage of a solo satoru, who's been enlightened and and burdened with being the strongest. he's on a mission alone, keeping the camcorder on as he exorcises a curse. he trots over to the camera. he seems less enthusiastic compared to the other videos. ]

"aaand that's what the strongest looks like while he's at work."

[ satoru looks smug and goofy, but something is off. his features look worn and tired. ]

[ there is already that slightly disingenuous liveliness showing in his demeanor just in this small video; the version of satoru that his students would know as just normal gojo sensei. ]

[ his smile falters as he rambles about y/n and suguru. ]

"i'm gonna give y/n a big kiss when i get home. miss you, angel. haha... why am i talking to a camera all by myself... that's so sad. i'm gonna film myself gettin' that kiss at home, just to prove i'm not some lonely idiot. i have a hot fiancé..."

[ one of the last photos taken on this camera is dated; august 2009. it's of you and satoru sharing a big kiss... neither of you knew it at the time, but it was your last kiss. ]

[ the next piece of footage is from 2018. it's a 28 year old gojo, his features show his maturity and the weathering of all the years he's endured living without you and suguru.]

"i found this camera while cleaning up. if i look 'n sound funny it's 'cuz i've been crying haha......"

"...... i miss you two..... haha... i can't shove the camera in your faces like i used to, now can i?"

[ he awkwardly smiles at the camera but then his face trembles and contorts into an ugly-cry as if he just remembered every single memory of his youth. ]

[ the footage ends with a broken, barely audible "fuck..." falling from the teacher's lips as he starts to cry and drops the camera to the floor. the rest is corrupted footage... just heaving sobs of the man who has no more memories to record with suguru and y/n. ]

© arminsumi

I do not permit the copying/reposting/translation/plagiarism of my works. Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

This is fictional work.

[magialice]

she's literally me

[tinydefector]

I love the perfume pheromone so much could you write about how Ultra Magnus/Mimimus and Rung react to it please 👀👀👀

Ultra Magnus

He gets hit with the sweet scent that smells like Galium Gummies and Energon wine it has him doing a double take in his office as he works alongside you. He's so confused as to where it is coming from until his sensor all points to you. He tries to be subtle about it, inching closer in hopes he could inhale the sweet scent. His intake lubricates, and his sensors start going haywire. "What is that?" He asked, trying not to lean in closer. When he realises its on your skin it makes him desperate want to taste it.

"Oh, it's perfume. Sorry, is it really strong? I hope it isn't, " you call out while rechecking some of the flight gear and taking stock of what would be needed at the next planet the ship stopped on. He ends up walking off to take care of his issue before he can succumb to the sweet scent that's overwhelming his sensors.

Minimus (in case people like them separated)

He's deep in recharge when you pounce on him. His optics flick on as you smile down and laugh slightly at his surprised expression. A content hum leaves him as he pulls you down into a kiss, and then his scenors finally register the scent that seems to dance on your skin. His lips trail across your throat and collar bone as he pulls you snugly into his lap. Slowly grinding against you as he continues his assault on your skin, leaving hickies in his wake. "You test my patience too much, beloved," he mumbles into your shoulders. Another giggle leaves you as he rolls you to lay on the berth.

Minimus is a very passionate lover when given the chance, littering kisses on your skin in the aftermath of your teasing. Holding you close as he traces his digits across your face, his optics watching in true awe as if you were a gift from primus himself.

Rung

Dear Lord, if this bot smells perfume, it's like a switch flips. He's on you the moment he sees you dragging you into a passion kiss as he desperately works your clothes off. He's a rather passionate lover, and despite his calm and soothing nature, he is a beast in berth. You are rather sore after the amount of rounds you both have. In the end, you're sleeping pressed against his chassis with Blankets pilled around you as he softly reads.

He ends up looking for a very specific perfume to gift you later on. One he believes will taste divine on your skin.

To Rung, you taste like red energon with copper swerlls and rubies.

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[krirebr]

More Than This 7

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x f!reader, Steve Rogers & f!reader

Word Count: ~3.9k

Summary: Arranged marriages have always been used to solidify business deals among the ultra-wealthy. Your stepfather wants to be in business with Harlan Thrombey, so now it's your turn.

Warnings: Angst, age difference, adult themes, institutional sexism, explicit language, fighting, my own rampant abuse of italics and em dashes, non-stop continuous action (not the car chase kind, but like, the no section breaks kind), the slooowest burn - Warnings will be added as needed for subsequent parts. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: There's no going back now.

Permanent thanks, as always, to @paperweight91 who lets me talk her ear off about this and always has the best input.

I cannot wait to talk to you all about this one, so please leave me a comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think! And if you need to come scream at me, that's even better!

As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜

You woke up to the sun streaming in through the windows. You rolled over and checked the time. It was after nine. You’d slept hard—the exhaustion of everything catching up with you. And yet you still hadn’t woken up feeling rested. You couldn’t remember the last time you did.

You grabbed your phone and groaned when you saw all the notifications. Texts, missed calls, two voicemails. All from Steve. He was freaking out. 

Are you ok?

Did something happen?

Please call me

And a few more just like them. You were too tired to answer. You didn’t know how. Besides, it wasn’t like he hadn’t ignored your messages before. You grimaced at your own pettiness. You would answer him when you knew what to say.

As soon as Lola noticed you were awake, she hopped off your makeshift bed and ran to the door, scratching at it to be let out. You sighed. Of course, the safety of your isolation couldn’t last forever. The good news was that it was late enough that Ransom must be gone. You could put that off at least until the evening.

When you opened the door, Lola at your heels, you heard someone moving around downstairs. You hadn’t thought it was a Carol day, but you must’ve lost track. It wasn’t until you were halfway down the stairs that you saw Ransom puttering around in the kitchen, his back to you. Your stomach dropped. Shit shit shit. Why was he here? You contemplated running back into the gym, but as soon as she saw him, Lola darted out ahead of you and raced down the stairs so she could dance around at his feet. He crouched down to greet her. “Morning, Lola,” he rumbled, his voice still full of sleep. “D’you have a good night?” She hopped up and down, pawing at his leg.

You took a deep breath and gathered all of your courage. “She wants breakfast,” you said from your place on the stairs.

His head whipped up to you. He stood up awkwardly. “Oh, uh, where’s her food?”

You came down the rest of the stairs and passed in front of him into the kitchen. “I’ll do it,” you said as you went straight to the cabinet where you kept Lola’s meal supplies. 

Once you had her fed and briefly let her out the back door, you noticed multiple bags of take-out on the island. “What’s all this?”

“Oh, uh,” Ransom rubbed the back of his neck as he stared at you. “I thought we should probably have breakfast. Together. And I didn’t really know what you like, so…” he shrugged.

You quickly took stock of the food. There were diner waffles, pastries from a bakery, eggs benedict from a fancy brunch place. “Thank you,” you said. “That’s nice.” You grabbed a danish from the pastry bag and sat down at the island. “I, uh–” you started then stopped, and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I freaked out last night. I, uh– I don’t know what happened. I– I was scared, I guess, by the–” you gestured to your stomach. “But um, I shouldn’t’ve– It won’t happen again, you know? I’m fine now. Everything’s fine.”

Ransom leaned against the counter, facing you, and closed his eyes. He didn’t say anything for a long moment, then looked you straight in the eyes and said, “I’m so fucking tired of that word.”

You set down your pastry and looked at him, confused. “What?”

“You’re always so fucking fine, aren’t you? I ask how your day was, it was fine. I ask how you feel about something, it’s fine. I ask what’s wrong when you’re clearly upset, and you say, ‘Oh nothing, everything’s fine.’ It’s fine! It’s fine! It’s fine! I can’t hear it one more time.”

All you could do was sputter for a moment. “What– What are you talking about?! I’ve just been doing what you wanted!”

“How is this what I wanted?” he asked, his frustration shocking you..

But then, your mind started to catch up a bit and you were suddenly filled with indignation. “You told me to pack light! You– You– You made it clear! I know you don’t want me here so I’m just– I’m just trying to do what you want! I'm staying out of your way!”

He laughed and the hollow sound was so startling. “This is you staying out of my way? You’re just this presence that’s always here! That makes me feel unwelcome in my own home!”

That had you standing up so quickly that it sent the stool you’d been on tumbling to the floor behind you. A frightened Lola scampered up the stairs, her collar tinkling sharply, but neither of you noticed. 

“What?!” you shouted, “How could– I– This is your house! How could you ever feel unwelcome here? I’ve never felt welcome here for even a moment! I’m not even a guest here, I’m just this, this– I don’t know! I’m just this pest that you wish you could exterminate but you can’t. You don’t want me here and I feel it every single day.”

“Well, you’ve never told me that, have you?” He almost growled out. “I’m just supposed to know! I see you making this list in your head of everything I’m doing wrong, all the ways I’m disappointing you but you never say anything about any of it. But then when I don’t know how to fix any of it, because I don’t actually know what’s wrong, you resent me for it!” You started to open your mouth and he slammed a hand down on the island between you. “Don’t deny it. I can see it whenever you look at me. You’ve decided that I’m the villain here, right? I’m the bad guy in this story. And I don’t–” He moved his hands to his hips and looked away from you, shaking his head. “I have no idea who you are,” he said, quieter now but no less forceful. “You don’t want me to. You have me just grasping at straws and– But you’ve just decided, huh? That you know exactly who I am.”

All you could do for a full fifteen seconds was just gape at him. He looked tired suddenly. Sad, as if that made any sense at all with anything that had happened. But then you remembered everything that had happened and your anger came flooding back. “Yes, I know who you are. Of course, I do! Because you showed me! It’s like you’ve completely forgotten how we met. Or our wedding!” A tear fell down your cheek and you knew more were about to follow, ready to tip over your lashes. You wanted to wipe them away, but you also just couldn’t take the time to stop right now. “You were awful! Really fucking awful. Right from the beginning you were so cruel and– and now– No! I– How can you expect me to come to you with anything when you all but told me not to during that first dinner?! When you told me you didn’t want me taking up any space here? Or that you would get rid of Lola?! Of course I don’t talk to you! What am I supposed to talk to you about when you terrify me? When everything I have comes from you and you don’t give me anything? When you hold all of the power?!” 

“What fucking power?” Ransom shouted, throwing his arms wide. “If I had any power at all, neither of us would be in this mess!”

“It’s still more than I have! I have nothing! You’re the heir. You matter to people. I’ve only ever been a bargaining chip. And now that they’ve made the deal, no one gives a shit what happens to me. You could do anything to me, and they wouldn’t care! Even my mom–” You cut yourself off, tears choking your voice.

There was a beat of silence, and then, “Even your mom what?” Ransom asked, his voice rough. He was staring at you like the next words out of your mouth would be the most important ever spoken.

And it was only because you felt it too, everything riding on this, that you managed to say, your voice so small and your eyes downcast, “She only ever asks if I’m making you happy.”

When he didn’t say anything to that, you looked back up to find him staring at you, his eyes incredibly serious. But not angry, something– something else. Finally, he sighed and, putting both elbows on the island, said, “I’m really fucking miserable. How ‘bout you?”

You would try to examine it later, the way your instinct in that moment was to apologize or try to downplay your own feelings, your mom’s voice in your head no matter how much you hated it, but instead you took a deep breath and said, “Yeah, I’m– I’ve been so unhappy.”

He nodded then scrubbed a hand over his face. “I think,” he said slowly. “I think we’ve both been acting like if we just ignore this hard enough we’ll wake up one day and this will be over and our lives will go back to normal. But now with the–,” he gestured to you. “We can’t keep doing that. We gotta– We have to figure out a way to live with this.”

“Yeah,” you said quietly, wrapping one arm around your stomach. You couldn’t help but look at him a little warily. Was this real? Did he mean it? “How do we do that?” 

He chuckled ruefully. “I don’t know.”

You just looked at him for a moment before you were interrupted by your stomach growling loudly. “Sorry,” you said, awkwardly. “I didn’t eat much last night.”

“Right,” he said with a decisive nod, “breakfast.”

You each served yourselves from all the food he’d ordered. He righted the stool you knocked over and you both sat down to eat. You didn’t say anything, neither of you did. You figured he had just as much to think about as you did. 

You couldn’t stop thinking about how he’d said he had no idea who you were. It’d been easy, maybe, to forget that this was something that had happened to both of you, when you were in his house, facing his family, working your way into his life. It’d never occurred to you, after that first meeting, that he might want to get to know you, might want to see past all the walls you’d put up to protect yourself. But you felt like they were fortified now. You weren’t sure how to take them down.

Even though you kept your focus on your food, you could tell he kept glancing at you. You felt his eyes on you every few minutes. Finally, as you both finished up your food, he cleared his throat. “I’m an asshole,” he said quietly. “I just am. I always have been. But uh, you didn’t– You didn’t deserve that at dinner. Or the wedding. Or when I yelled at you last night. It didn’t– I don’t think it occurred to me that you’d take me, what I said, seriously. I’m not used to people listening to me, not like that.”

You stared at your plate for a moment and tried to keep breathing. “I– Of course, I took you seriously. What else would I do? I didn’t know you and I was already so scared and– How was I supposed to know you didn’t mean it?” You could feel yourself starting to cry again and wiped furiously at your eyes.

He sighed heavily. “Yeah, I– I didn’t do a good job of understanding how hard this was for you. And I– I’ll try not to do that again.”

All you could do with that was nod.

“But uh– I need you to talk to me, tell me when something’s wrong. I can’t– I need you to talk to me. I’ll, uh, I won’t be mad or– I feel like the few times you’ve let yourself be upset, those are the only times I felt like I could actually see you. I want to be able to see you.”

You took a deep breath. “I’m uh,” you started, trying to find your words. “I’m used to having to put on a mask. It’s really hard for me to not do that.”

He nodded slowly. “How ‘bout,” he said, “I’ll try to be less of an asshole if you try to let yourself be more of one?”

You laughed. You couldn’t help it, it just bubbled out of you, to your own surprise. “Sure,” you smiled, “yeah. Deal.” You met his eyes and he looked proud of himself. There was something about the way he was looking at you that made you have to look away. You put all your attention into taking a last bite of your food.

“So,” he said, and he sounded serious again. “I think we should talk about last night.”

It took everything in you to not shrink down. You wanted to do anything else, but he was right. You needed to. So you nodded and waited for him to start.

“You said– Well. You said a lot of things. But let’s start with– You said I keep you trapped here.”

Your brow furrowed a little bit. “Well, yeah, you only have one car and you don’t have a driver. How am I supposed to go anywhere?”

The dawning realization on his face would have almost been comical if it had been about something that hadn’t caused you so much pain. “Oh my god,” he said. “I– Why didn’t you– No, right. Yeah.” He took out his phone and started typing. “I’ll figure something out. Do you drive?”

“Steve taught me, a little, when I was a teenager. But I’m not– I’m not super comfortable,” you shrugged.

“Ok,” he said typing a few more words, then put his phone down. He looked at you very seriously and said, “Now I need you to tell me exactly what you meant about siccing my mom on you.”

“Oh, well, just that she came over, you know, the next day after I told you I wanted to find a job.”

Ransom’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Here? She came here?”

“Well, yeah,” you said, not entirely sure what was happening. “She let herself in and said you’d talked to her about how I wanted to work and that you wanted me to focus on giving you a family. That that was my job now.”

Ransom’s face darkened in a way you’d never seen before. “Fucking–” he growled. “Goddamnit.” You watched him warily and when he made eye contact, you saw the way he worked to soften his expression. He shook his head. “I never said that. I just, I brought it up to her because she has connections, you know, in surprising places. I should have known. I was stupid. And when you didn’t bring it up again, I just, I assumed it hadn’t worked out and you didn’t want to talk about it.” He took a deep breath, clearly trying to make himself calm down. “Did she say anything else?”

You looked at him carefully. It was almost like he looked different today, something about him. It really did seem like he was trying. So you took a breath and decided to trust him. “She wasn’t very nice to me. She never is. She’s– She’s only ever been awful to me.”

“Yeah,” he said grimly, “that’s fucking Linda. Alright, she comes here again, I want you to tell me. Don’t even talk to her, just call me right away. She tries to call you, you tell me. She ever says anything to you, you tell me, ok?”

“Yeah,” you said, and you didn’t know how to guard yourself from the warmth that spread through you. “I’ll tell you.”

He nodded. “Good. And if you still want to get a job, I’ll help you, ok? I want to do that.”

“Yeah, I,” you sighed, “I don’t know. Everything’s really overwhelming right now.”

“I get that,” he said, “but if you change your mind, let me know.”

“I will,” you promised. Then, when he didn’t immediately bring up another topic from the night before, you raised one of your own. “Um, you never use your gym.” He looked at you, confused, and you shook your head at yourself. “Sorry, it’s just, you have all those rooms upstairs that you never use, and well, you and I,” you rested a hand on your belly, “we did what we needed to do, right? So, uh, I’m having my bedroom furniture shipped here and if it’s alright, I’d like to, uh, turn that room into my room.” 

There was a long pause, long enough for you to get uncomfortable, start to worry that you’d messed up. His face was blank, you couldn’t find any clues there. Then, finally, he seemed to shake himself and said, “Yeah, sure, of course. I’ll, uh, I’ll have it cleared out for you.”

You breathed a sigh of relief. “Great! Thank you! I’m sure you’ll be happy to have your own space back.”

“Right, yeah,” he said and nodded several times. “Yeah.”   

You both got quiet again after that, but it didn’t feel as oppressive as it often had before. Eventually, you began cleaning up breakfast together. As you moved around him in the kitchen to load the dishwasher, you paused. “Hey, uh, what’d you tell your parents? About last night, dinner?”

“Oh,” he said, turning to you from the fridge. “Just that I was suddenly violently ill and we couldn’t make it.”

That stopped you completely. You’d been bent over as you loaded plates, but now you stood up, giving him all of your attention. “Really? You didn’t– didn’t blame me? Or uh, tell them about–”

He finished what he was doing and closed the fridge, then closed some of the space between you. “What? No, fuck that. Listen, any excuse to not have to deal with Richard and Linda is welcome. I’m serious. Fuck them.”

That was when everything really hit you, just how badly you'd misread so much of what had happened. Of all the pain you’d suffered over the past months, how much of it had been self-inflicted? Would everything have been so much easier, for both of you, if you’d just been willing to talk to him? For what felt like the thousandth time that morning, you felt your eyes beginning to well. You tried to turn your head away, but Ransom noticed before you could.

“Hey,” Ransom said quietly as he approached you cautiously, stopping right in front of you, his hands hovering in the air between you both. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?”

You shook your head. “I don’t know,” you said, your voice tight. “I don’t know. I just– Everything’s just been so hard.”

Ransom sighed, heavily. “Yeah. I know.”

“Um,” you let out a defeated, embarrassed little laugh as the tears began to fall down your face. “Do you think it’s too early to blame pregnancy hormones?” you asked, as you tried to make yourself stop crying.

Instead of dismissing it as a joke, Ransom looked at you very seriously. “I think that you can do whatever the fuck you want.”

There was something about that, the way it felt like acceptance, that made the tears come even harder.

It was then, of course, that your phone started vibrating on the counter, Steve’s ID flashing on the screen. “Oh,” you said, “um, shit.” You just stared at it, not quite able to pick it up. “I, uh, texted him last night. During everything. I’m sure he’s freaking out now.”

“Right,” Ransom nodded. “Well, I’ll give you some privacy.”

You were suddenly filled with the ridiculous need to not be alone right now. “Uh, yeah, thanks. But, uh, maybe, maybe don’t go far.” Your voice dropped out a little at the end of the sentence, embarrassed.

He looked at you carefully and you couldn’t imagine what he saw. A mess, probably. “Yeah,” he said, “of course. I’ll be just upstairs. Shout if you need me.”

Then he left and you took a deep breath. The call had gone to voicemail while you’d dithered, so you called Steve back, sure he’d try again anyway if you delayed any further.

He picked up immediately. “Oh thank god,” he breathed. “What’s going on? Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I just–” you began, trying to keep your voice strong. But of course, you couldn’t hide from Steve.

“Are you crying?” he asked gruffly. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m not, Steve,” you lied.

“Chipmunk,” he said, sadly, knowing how hard the childhood nickname would hit you. “What’s going on? What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

You closed your eyes as tightly as you could. “Nothing. It’s just–” You knew you had to tell him something but you had no idea where to start. You could tell him, you supposed, about– about the baby, but it felt impossible to say out loud. And you had no idea how he’d react. Or, rather you had a very good idea, and it was very, very bad. You didn’t have the energy for that. Or the strength and courage. Not now. Maybe not ever. But you couldn’t talk about what happened the night before and this morning without mentioning that part, so really, you couldn’t talk about anything. And you knew your brother. You knew how that would go over. “I’m tired. And I miss you.”

He was silent for several moments. When he finally spoke, all he said was, “I know something happened.”

“It didn’t Steve. Everything’s fine.”

“I know you’re lying to me. Why are you lying?” He was pleading now and you were too tired and hormonal for this.

“Steve,” you pleaded right back, your voice breaking just a little. “Can you please just believe me? Just this once?”

There was another long pause, and then, “Goddammit, I hate this. I can’t– I worry about you all the time. Every time I see a missed call or text from you, my stomach drops. But now you won’t talk to me. And I can’t help you. I don’t know what to do about any of it.”

“Steve,” you sighed. “I know you think you should always be able to fix everything, but there’s just nothing for you to fix this time, ok? Please?”

He just sighed and you both quietly sat on the phone together. You didn’t know what to say to him but couldn’t hang up. Finally, he broke the silence with “I really fucking miss you.”

You smiled just a little, even as you wiped the tears from your face. “I fucking miss you too. And I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said quietly. He sighed again. “Ok, I should go. But we’ll talk again soon. Take care of yourself.”

“Ok,” you said softly. “Bye.” You hung up and set your phone down then put your head in your hands and let yourself cry without trying to stop it. You didn’t notice anything happening around you until you felt a weight settle onto the couch beside you and suddenly your lap was full of Lola. Then a hand gingerly touched your back. When you didn’t move away, it started gently moving up and down. You couldn’t help but lean into it.

The strangest sensation came over you. You couldn’t explain it, but as you sat there on the couch, crying while Ransom rubbed your back, you somehow felt the best you had in months.

Tag list is open

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[xcziel]

Are You Sure thoughts (i'm certain there will be more)

JIMIN'S THIGHS

jk ultra competent "let's get it. let's go" vibes

jimin rolls his shorts over at the waist when he wants them shorter just like the sorority girls in college

the BICKERING

jk hostess twinkie sponsorship when???

also boy do they like avocado

jimin water baby confirmed

they drove about equally? not on the bike but otherwise they shared

yoongi sleepy voice "what?" 😂

jk hanging up after 30 seconds what even

chef jk!!!

MMA joke explained!

also very possible reason for them being given lots of room for subsequent sleeping

hiking in slides???? i was afraid he was gonna fall off that log and hurt himself

jm needs mosquito repellant sponsorship actually

every time i wanted their lonely leftover fries so bad

jk coughing 🥺🥺 poor baby

both of them*very* conscious of the audience and addressing the camera

jk is so organized! but impulsive in the moment - SUPER relatable

the film quality!!! every place looked amazing! even the store parking lots lol. connecticut about to have the best tourist season ever

jk looked SO HAPPY on the bike

both of them thrilled to be out in the open air/nature

when they play fight jk serious about boxing form and jm resorting to wrestling and leg holds (which- with his leg strength...)

i am envying jk's suitcase packing like .. damn that is perfect folding

we really did get a bit of a mukbang - SO. MUCH. EATING.

DOMESTICITY OFF THE CHARTS

jm just constantly doing bits and making up little songs and weird sounds

BOTH of them just "yes and"-ing each other until they crack up

i am american and just the familiarity of the places and people with jikook dropped in the middle was mind-blowing. when they get out if they start this up again (which sounds like the intention) i have to beg for them to come to texas

impromptu forest seven mv! jm parking lot dance moves! (with the wet asphalt stripes even!)

saying he's gonna starve himself after 🥺 like i sincerely think these trips are the only reason he didn't waste away he was so busy tired and then sick too

jm so much like my mom, like turning on the seat heater in the 86F car?

but then jk kept getting wet and then going in air-conditioned places? y'all. i'm glad they ate outside so much in that case hah

jimin's fluffy *hair* 😍 (the bed hair! lol)

jk music critique and advice hour! and he is RIGHT jm *should* growl more

feeding the staff! they are the sweetest 🥰

also i appreciated the explanation about what each is trying to do with their music

jk: i want to showcase my voice and singing talent in a variety of styles

jm: i like writing songs but it takes longer for me

[showstopper35]

Honey Sun (arranged marriage to Megatron, part two)

Part One

a/n: a whole two people asked for part two! @yrsfch and @sleepisapriviligethatidonthave thanks! This story is giving me back my love of writing.

cw: implied masturbation, but not much else. a whole lot of silence.

-Days melted into weeks, months, years….centuries. The war raged on, and I was reduced to a princess in a castle. He never came back after that night. Suddenly called to the front, people said. Part of me thought it was a way to be rid of me. After all, neither of us had wanted this. Why was I expecting him to come back? No honeymoon for a puppet.

-And now the war was over. News of your death was a blow, but it was an even bigger one hearing that you had returned. Sure, Starscream ruled Cybertron. Shockwave was gone. But now you were on trial. They said they were letting you hold off on all your crimes. You hadn’t mentioned a divorce. Or even me. Not even when they asked me if I thought you were guilty. Not even when I said yes. They said you were going on a ship full of Autobots. They said I was to come with you. Optimus’s orders. Notice how Optimus never married?

-I followed, because I had no choice. Packed up my things and set them in our shared room. I saw that there was only one large berth, because of course. We were married. I was married to one everyone called a monster. -The next few days passed in total silence. No words were spoken between us. You were never there, of course. At night you recharged with your back facing me. My back faced yours. -I was surprised it ached so much. After all, I should be more than used to this by now. But maybe the fact that you were here made it worse. So close, and yet not enough. Sharing a berth again didn’t mean our marriage was fixed. So much for the great intervention of Optimus Prime. You can’t salvage two broken pieces.

-I’d taken to reading near you on the bridge, or in the bar. Sometimes Rodimus tried to talk to me, but my one-word answers put him off. I think he pitied me. Ultra Magnus politely asked me how I was and left it at that. I could imagine you being friends with him. If you even had friends. -I remember once that Rodimus had glared at you, not-so-subtly flicking his eyes over to me. With a heavy sigh, you had asked how I slept. “Fine. You?” “Fine as well.” He gave Rodimus a cold stare. We didn’t speak the rest of the day.

-I should mention here that centuries of being alone has made me rather good at…entertaining myself. I only do this when you’re not here, of course, but I think you can tell. Averted gaze when you come back to our room, finding my face slightly flushed. I can’t tell if you do it too. -We continue this silent dance, waiting for the other to finally crack the canyon between us. I know it’s going to me, eventually. I can’t be alone for centuries more. I start imagining talking with you…being with you. I’m probably going crazy just because of the newer bit of contact. -I start accidentally brushing against you in your sleep. Whispering “Good morning”, only to be met with a gruff hum of acknowledgment. Little glances at you while you read, or talk with Rodimus. Once, I smile at you, and I know that you froze for a second before turning away.

- I want more. -Maybe I do want this.

———————————————————————————-

Part Three

[chunkypossum]

Ch 10: the end.

The first of the day’s birdsong floated through the open window, dancing in the sway of the curtains as they billowed inwards on the breeze. The air kissed the High Lord’s cheek, rousing him from sleep. With a yawn and a stretch, he blinked his eyes open letting the still dark morning fill his vision. His mate’s scent was near, warm, and inviting him back into the arms of sleep. Instead, he carefully brushed a strand of hair out of his mate’s face and climbed out of bed as quietly as possible. 

OR

The box, the box! FOR THE LOVE OF THE MOTHER WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!?

Read on Ao3

Thank you to everyone who showed such love to this story. It was so much fun making it for you all. I hope the conclusion is just as enjoyable!!!

Holla at ya boi if you want on or off the Azris tag train :

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[bookwormjust]

Imagine: Eris Vanserra’s Comfort

The grand halls of the Autumn Court were cloaked in shadows, the flickering light from the crackling fire casting long, dancing shapes on the walls of Eris’s private chambers. It was late, and the quiet of the night had settled over the palace like a heavy blanket. Outside, the leaves whispered secrets in the crisp breeze, and the forest beyond the windows stood in silent vigil.

You were nestled in the plush bed, the deep, russet sheets pulled up to your chin as you drifted in and out of restless sleep. Your dreams were twisted and dark, filled with flashes of fire and echoes of screams, memories from the past that clawed their way back into your mind. Your heart raced, the visions of shadowy figures and haunting voices tearing at your sense of peace.

You saw Eris standing over his father, the cruel, unyielding High Lord of Autumn. The moment replayed in slow, agonizing detail: Eris’s face cold and determined as he drove his blade into his father’s chest, ending the tyrant’s reign with a single, calculated strike. The blood, so much blood, stained the floor, the metallic scent filling the air. And then it shifted—Eris’s father wasn’t the one lying dead on the ground. It was you.

In the nightmare, you were the one bound by chains, surrounded by fire that licked at your skin, threatening to consume you. You could feel the searing heat, the agony of the flames, and the suffocating weight of helplessness as you screamed for Eris, but he was nowhere to be found. The panic rose in your chest, a frantic, desperate clawing that left you gasping for breath.

You jolted awake, your heart pounding so violently it felt like it might burst from your chest. Tears streamed down your cheeks, hot and relentless, and your breath came in ragged, shallow gasps as you tried to shake off the lingering terror of the dream. The room felt too small, the air too thick, and you couldn’t seem to catch your breath.

Your hands trembled as you clutched at the sheets, the panic building in your chest like a storm. You were spiraling, lost in the echoes of your nightmare, and no matter how hard you tried to ground yourself, the fear wouldn’t let go. It wrapped around you like a vice, squeezing tighter and tighter until you thought you might break.

Then, you felt the bed shift beside you. Eris stirred, instantly alert despite having been deeply asleep moments before. His keen senses picked up on your distress immediately, and he turned to you, his amber eyes wide with concern. His usually composed, guarded expression softened as he took in the sight of you—your tear-streaked face, the trembling hands, and the wild, panicked look in your eyes.

“Y/N,” Eris said softly, his voice low and soothing as he reached out to touch your shoulder. The warmth of his hand was like a lifeline, anchoring you back to the present, away from the nightmares that haunted your mind. “It’s alright. You’re safe. I’m here.”

You tried to speak, but the words caught in your throat, choked by the overwhelming surge of fear. You shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut as if that could block out the remnants of the nightmare that still clung to your senses. Your breath hitched, and Eris’s grip tightened just slightly, his thumb brushing gentle circles on your shoulder in a steady, calming rhythm.

“Breathe with me,” he instructed softly, his voice a steady, comforting presence in the chaos of your mind. He shifted closer, his other arm wrapping around your waist to pull you gently into his chest. His scent, the familiar warmth of autumn leaves and crisp forest air, filled your senses, grounding you just enough to latch onto his presence.

You tried to match your breathing to his, focusing on the rise and fall of his chest against your back, the steady rhythm that contrasted so starkly with the frantic pace of your own heart. Slowly, your breaths began to even out, the ragged gasps giving way to deeper, more controlled inhales as Eris whispered soft reassurances into your ear.

“It was just a dream,” he murmured, his lips brushing the crown of your head as he held you closer. “It can’t hurt you here. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

His words were a balm to your frayed nerves, each gentle promise a reminder that you were not alone in this moment. Eris was here, solid and real, his touch steady and unyielding as he held you through the worst of your panic. He didn’t rush you, didn’t try to pry into the nightmare that had shaken you so deeply. Instead, he simply offered his presence, his warmth, and the quiet comfort of his unwavering attention.

When your breathing finally steadied, and the last of the tears had dried on your cheeks, you turned slightly to look up at him. Eris’s eyes met yours, and you saw not the calculating, aloof High Lord of Autumn that the rest of the world knew, but the man who had always been there for you in ways no one else ever had. The man who had shown you kindness when you expected none, who had protected you when it was dangerous for him to do so.

Eris’s hand moved from your shoulder to gently cup your face, his thumb brushing away the last remnants of your tears. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice hoarse from crying. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Don’t apologize,” he said firmly, his gaze soft but unyielding. “You never have to apologize for feeling. Especially not to me.”

You nodded, leaning into his touch as you tried to find the words to explain the nightmare that had shaken you so badly. But before you could speak, Eris pulled you closer, his embrace tightening as if to shield you from the lingering ghosts of your fear.

“I will always be here,” he vowed, his voice a low, fierce whisper against your ear. “No matter what. You’re my mate, and I will protect you, always.”

The bond between you flared with warmth, a soft, steady light in the darkness of your mind. Eris’s emotions bled through—his fierce protectiveness, his unwavering resolve, and beneath it all, the deep, unspoken affection that he kept hidden from everyone else. Only you knew who he truly was, the man beneath the mask of the High Lord. The man who had risked everything to change the course of his court, who had taken his father’s place not out of ambition, but to end the cycle of cruelty that had plagued his family for centuries.

As you lay there, cocooned in his embrace, the last shreds of your nightmare began to fade. Eris’s presence, his touch, and the quiet strength of his promises were enough to keep the darkness at bay. You closed your eyes, letting the steady beat of his heart lull you back to a place of calm, and for the first time that night, you felt truly safe.

With Eris, you knew you were home.

English is totally not my first language, I hope it's fine ;)

[cookii-moon]

Introducing… the Perfectly Neurotypical Ninja!!!

(I had an idea and thought it’d be funny)

our first incredibly neurotypical ninja is…

✨ JAY! ✨

Has zero volume control whatsoever

He can NOT be quiet for the life of him

There is no way he doesn’t have some form of anxiety disorder

Like his entire panic and fear definitely seem like anxiety to me

Has a plushie he still sleeps with for comfort and is emotionally attached to (which is super real of him honestly)

Panic attacks

He DEFINITELY has hyperfixations

Have you just seen him in general

That one short where he just starts running around on the roof

Also that one time he and Kai were supposed to train and got distracted by competition (Actually this could probably apply to all the ninja because they do this type of thing all the time)

Got so hyperfixated on dancing games that he learnt how to dance

I don’t think he can sit still it just doesn’t seem possible to me

(I’m not a Jay fan so I can’t point to much else off the top of my head but we’re all in agreement there’s no way he’s neurotypical right?)

Okay never mind, our FIRSt neurotypical ninja is…

✨ COLE! ✨

Talks to himself. A lot.

No seriously he talks to himself so much

Professional school dropout

Gets along great with animals and people who don’t fit in

Probably has owned a pet. Or five. (Probably a cat or a reptile) (he came around to them eventually and now he loves them) (dogs are too energetic and loud)

Most likely has depression

Definitely has sensory issues there’s no way he doesn’t

That one time he nearly had a breakdown from being overwhelmed. (Points to core shorts)

Dislikes metaphors (canon)

Wears the exact same hoodie without fail in every single episode where he has to wear civilian clothing (I think it’s a comfort thing at this point)

Probably taught himself several different ninja things he had no need to learn (why can he fight with a sword and nunchucks when he never uses either of them outside of a single special) (this also applies to shields and staffs and throwing stars but those are at least practical)

He says it’s to prepare but really he did it for fun

Has somehow not discovered his ninja special interest yet

(he physically can’t do anything else it’s too boring) (even when he’s not ninjaing he needs to practice once a day minimum or else he explodes)

Dances when happy/excited (definitely not a stim)

Immediately starts telling Jay about dancing when he enters the contest in a very excited manner (definitely not infodumping)

Has caused several misunderstandings due to bad social skills (he can NOT read the room for the life of him)

His best friend is Jay.

(even if he’s not autistic there’s no way this guy is neurotypical.)

(these are not the actions of a neurotypical person we’re all in agreement of that right)

Whoops… uh…never mind…our FIRST!!!! Neurotypical ninja…

✨ NYA! ✨

Terrified of failure

Like it haunts her she does NOT want to fail she has an entire arc devoted to it

Has a hard time letting go of things (she holds grudges A LOT)

This also includes things of sentimental value like Samurai X

Change is difficult for her just in general

SUPER stubborn

Definitely has a schedule that she envisions in her head but forgets to tell everyone else

(that short where she planned to spend time with Jay but he was going to the arcade)

Short temper especially on bad days

The more I write this the more I realize how little characterization she actually gets for most of the series

Justice for Nya honestly

(I’m assigning her neurodivergence I don’t care how short this is)

(I think autistic. But spicy.)

(probably also anxiety or OCD)

(do you see the vision)

….Okay so maybe not that one either- Uh… our FIRST!!! Neurotypical !!! Ninja!!!

✨ KAI! ✨

Has anger issues. Probably.

Super impulsive

No like incredibly impulsive. Ultra impulsive.

Craves attention but has really bad self worth issues

Hinges his worth on his powers (not healthy)

Wanted to be useful so badly that he convinced himself he’d get powers if he drop kicked Garmadon (it did not work)

Did I mention anger issues

Wants to be useful so he can protect!!!

That one time he and Jay were supposed to be training and-

Has zero patience

(I don’t know what flavor of neurodivergent he is but he’s neurodivergent somehow)

(once again I don’t pay attention to Kai there’s definitely more)

…Okay so this time for sure. Introducing FOR SURE our FIRST neurotypical ninja….

✨ ZANE! ✨

Do I even need to say anything

The entire episode “Home”

Social skills

Taking things literal

That one canon (?) book where he apparently has flashbacks to the ice emperor (im calling OCD or PTSD on that one Zane)

Also that one time he locked away bad memories in decoded (decoded is canon to me and the reason for that is mainly because it actually references ghost Cole (iirc) which is a miracle)

Yeah I think he has PTSD

that one time he hyperfixated on and roleplayed as a detective and then a pirate

probably more. Maybe.

That one’s a robot he’s disqualified. The FIRST, FOR SURE, NO MISTAKES, neurotypical ninja is…

✨ LLOYD! ✨

The fact he apparently has so much of starfarer memorized that he can nearly win a quiz contest thingy and the only thing that stopped him from doing that was that he hadn’t read a brand new limited edition issue

starfarer in general he is not normal about starfarer

Way too trusting for his own good

I would be more surprised if he didn’t have some sort of disorder considering everything he’s gone through

hes got to have at least something related to his trauma right

(This one is way shorter because. Again. Not a Lloyd fan. but. I think the starfarer thing is enough to push him into probably not neurotypical territory.)

(most kids do not know the entire plot and all the fun facts to a long running comic book series by heart)

Are you kidding me none of them are neurotypical?

Okay ne- what do you mean the last one

there’s those ones over there!!!! *points to Arin, Sora and wyldfyre*

Oh wait they’re also neurodivergent?

…..uuuuugh shows canceled then…. Sigh… Guess I’ll start up the Incredibly Neurodivergent Ninja show instead.

(disclaimer this is a joke)

(but they are all neurodivergent that part isn’t)

[legendofmorons]

Twilight x reader

Fluff maybe angst (this week really tired me out)

Can you do a fic where the reader and twilight (and maybe others your pick) go drinking and drunken shenanigans ensue.

Thanks :)

Hammered, sloshed if you will

Pairing: Twilight x reader

Rating: T

Summary: You and Twilight go out and get drunk, get into a huge fight over literally nothing, and end up comforting each other the day after.

Warnings: alcohol, drunk behavior, Reader thinks Twilight cheats (He Does NOT. He would NEVER.)

Other: reader is assumed to be of legal drinking age.

-------

You can't remember who's idea it was, but now you're out at a tavern. The Hyrule you're in is somewhere in the early two thousands if all the leopard print, ultra low-rise jeans, and skinny scarfs are any indication.

Twilight is punching the air to a pit bull song as he happily drinks his long Island iced tea.

You've got whatever drink you like.

You and Twilight are both about five drinks in, and two rounds of shots have already passed.

"You should let me teach you lime dancin', honey." Twilight says with a grin.

"You should learn more modern line dancing." You counter, taking a sip of your own drink.

"What does that mean?" Twilight asks, eyes narrowing.

"You could learn some dances too? I could teach you!" You smile, unaware in the shift of mood.

"You think I can't learn?" Twilight is apparently too drunk to hear what you said.

You don't think that at all!

"Of course you can learn. I can teach you!" You're still smiling. You'd love to teach him!

"I can totally learn!" Twilight shouts, "I'll go dance right now!"

"Okay?" You manage, confused and a little annoyed.

Twilight downs the rest of his drink and goes to join the crowd that's line dancing.

You have to give it to him, he picks it up quickly. Though there's a smiling woman who's maybe a little too friendly. She's helping him too.

Does he think she's better than you?

He does.

You turn back to your drink, deciding it's better not to watch.

But then you've gone through another drink and can't find Twilight anywhere.

He's probably off kissing that stupid woman.

Obviously you should drink some more. That'll make you feel better.

When the bartender cuts you off, you decide it's probably time to go home. Even if Twilight is kissing someone else you want him to not get lost.

So, you go and track him down.

Twilight is still talking to the woman from earlier. Something about horse care? He probably heard you coming over and changed topics.

(He did not. This woman is a Lesbian and just bad at proper social interactions. Also Twilight would never cheat on anyone.)

"We're leaving. Whenever you're done." You say with a sigh, annoyed at the whole thing.

"You never believe in my dancing!" Twilight says as he whirls around.

"What are you talking about? I love when you dance!"

"You fo not!"

"I totally do!"

"You don't believe in anything!"

"You're being ridiculous!"

"Just leave without me."

"No. You're stupid and wrong, and you're irritating, but I'm not leaving you somewhere you can't get home from."

"Just go away!"

"Link." You say evenly, trying really hard to remember you're probably super drunk and shouldn't run your mouth more than you have.

"I don't care. Just let me be."

"I will, as soon as we're at the hotel."

Twilight looks like he might keep arguing. But he seems to think better of it. "Whatever. Just leave me alone when we're there."

The taxi ride back to the hotel is stifling. You're annoyed as all hell, and Twilight won't stop glaring out the window. You'd swear he has upset upsetness rolling off him in waves.

After paying the driver and giving a tip, ypu amd Twilight March through the hotel halls.

You got to your room, and straight to the shower. You think you deserve one.

Unfortunately after your shower you find a pouting Twilight.

"Time said I gotta sleep here." Twilight says woth a frown.

"Whatever." You shrug him off, pulling on pajamas.

"Whatever?"

"I just want to sleep." You say as you flop onto bed.

"Then we understand eachother."

"Link, shut the fuck up. I just wanna sleep." You groan. You hadn't meant to sound so rude, but it still happened. You'll apologize later.

-------

Morning comes with chirping birds and blinding sun. Your head pounds in time to what can only be an eclectic drumset played by a monkey.

Great.

You need to figure out how much you drank last night. You want to male sure you don't do it again.

You throw your arm out and accidentally smack Twilight's nose.

"Ow." Twilight groans, "What'd I do?"

"Nothing. Sorry." You squint as you roll over to look at him.

Twilight looks about as bad as you feel. He must have also had too much.

"What happened last night?"

"Dunno. I think we got in a fight or something."

"I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"I dunno, just am. Words are hard.... but I wanna say sorry for my part."

"Aw, Link, it's okay." You smile as you set your head on his chest.

Twilight throws one arm across his eyes. His other arm loops around your shoulders. "Let's go back to sleep."

"Okay."

Twilight's breathing is still slow and steady. But he isn't asleep quite yet.

"I'm sorry too." You admit, "I think I was mean last night."

"It's okay. I'm not mad at you, (Y/n). Just- don't let me drink that much ever again."

"I won't."

[starter-library]

THE RISE AND FALL OF A MIDWEST PRINCESS BY CHAPPELL ROAN LYRIC STARTERS

feel free to change phrasing as you see fit

“I’m so sick of online love”

“Um, can you play a song with a fucking beat?”

“Ladies, you know what I mean and you know what you need”

“She was a playboy, Brigitte Bardot. She showed me things I didn't know”

“She did it right there out on the deck, Put her canine teeth in the side of my neck”

“I just wanna get to know ya guess I didn't quite think it through”

“Fell in love with the thought of you”

“Baby, why don't you come over?”

“Want me to fuck you? Baby, I will 'cause I really want to”

“Well, back at my house I've got a California king. Okay, maybe it's a twin bed And some roommates”

“I heard you like magic I've got a wand and a rabbit”

“Baby, let's get freaky, get kinky, Let's make this bed get squeaky”

“Nothing good happens when it's late and you're dancing alone"

“Cause after midnight I'm feeling kinda freaky, maybe it's the club lights”

“I kinda wanna kiss your girlfriend if you don't mind”

“I love a little drama, let's start a bar fight”

“I really want your hands on my body”

“Baby, put your hands up, Be a freak in the club”

“I'd suggest the jazz bar on Mary Ann Street but you'd buy me a drink and we know where that leads”

“I'll meet you for coffee ‘cause if we have wine you'll say that you want me. I know that's a lie”

“If I didn't love you it would be fine”

“I'd rather feel something than nothing at all”

“If I didn't trust you it would be fine”

“We've done this before and I don't need it anymore”

“Let's not do coffee. Let's not even try”

“I've heard so many rumors that I'm just a girl that you bang on your couch”

“I thought you thought of me better”

“It's hard being casual when my favorite bra lives in your dresser”

“I try to be the chill girl but honestly, I'm not”

“Bragging to your friends I get off when you hit it, I hate to tell the truth, but I'm sorry dude you didn’t”

“I hate that I let this drag on so long, you can go to hell”

“Never waste a Friday night on a first date"

“And so, I take him to this bar, this man wouldn't dance, He didn't ask a single question, and he was wearing these fugly jeans”

“He doesn't have what it takes to be with a girl like me”

“I'm through with all these hyper mega bummer boys like you”

“I need a super graphic ultra modern girl like me”

“We're hot, we're drunk”

“Look at her moving, baby, she's the one”

“At every party we're the party, shaking our asses and making out while the world collapses”

“Get up off your feet, get up on that bar”

“I could be the one, or your new addiction”

“I don't want the world, but I'll take this city”

“Call me hot, not pretty”

“Baby, do you like this beat? I made it so you'd dance with me”

“You can take me hot to go”

“I try not to care but it hurts my feelings”

“You don't have to stare, comе here, get with it. No one's touched me there in a damn hot minute”

“Baby, don't you like this beat? I made it so you'd sleep with me”

“What's it take to get your number?”

“What's it take to bring you home?”

“You coming home with me?”

“If karma's real, hope it's your turn”

“It's hot when you have a meltdown In the front of your house and you're getting kicked out”

“It's hot when you're drinking downtown and you're getting called out 'cause you're running your mouth”

“People say I'm jealous, but my kink is watching You ruin your life, You losing your mind”

“People say I'm jealous, but my kink is karma”

“Wishing you the best, in the worst way”

“No need to be hateful in your fake Gucci sweater”

“Do you picture me like I picture you?”

“Am I in the frame from your point of view?”

“So, tell me now all your perversions”

“I'm too scared to say half of the things I do when I picture you”

“I guess we could pretend we didn't cross a line”

“If you really wanna leave I'll never make you stay”

“Whatever you decide I will understand and it will all be fine”

“And love is a kaleidoscope how it works, I'll never know”

“I know you wanted me to stay but I can't ignore the crazy visions of me in LA”

“Won't make my mama proud it's gonna cause a scene”

“On the stage in my heels it's where I belong”

“Every night's another reason why I left it all”

“Don't think I've left you all behind”

“I know you're probably busy but I would love to see you”

“I'd love if you knew you were on my mind”

“Boys suck and girls I've never tried and we both know we're getting drunk tonight”

“Touch me, baby, put your lips on mine”

“I know you want it, baby, you can have it”

“If I don't try, then it's my loss”

“Won't you fucking touch me?”

“I just want to touch you”

“I want all of your love”

“Thought I'd be cool in California, I’d make you proud”

“To think I almost had it going but I let you down”

“I fantasize what we would do and how would it taste?”

“Can we drag it out and never quit?”

“Oh my god, you are heaven sent With your dirty mind”

[dairy-farmer]

I sneak back in~☆ with more of my Ideas~☆ tis me Again~

You know what's GREAT? Along with all that villian tech and magic? Canonical Multiverse. Oh my, oh my~ Such OPTIONS we have todaaaay~ >:Dc

Because? Is it really YOUR son? If he's from a different reality, has a different history, you didn't raise him, and you technically met yesterday? Same name, face, and dna... but? IS THAT YOUR SON, BATMAN?

Or is that an ethically sourced Tim Puss? Or other bits. We ain't judging, Multiverse is large and in some of those you're sentient fish! Go nuts! Just be respectful. Not on the dinner table ffs.

And! In the inevitable Bat Adventures of Various Bat Peoples(tm)? They are GOING to cross realities! Some times you go to their's, some times they come to you. Sometimes it's your hypothetical great×5 Grandbaby with a STILL alive Ra's AL Ghul. Sometimes a Robot. Occasionally they are Evil(tm).

But! Do? You? Fuck?

CAN you? These are the questions! An ethical debate for the ages! Tim says? A Strong Maybe! What is he working with, here? *various outraged noises from his family* WHAT, they aren't HIS family! It's not like he'd sleep with YOU guys. *various conflicted noises*

Like? Clearly not, if they're Evil. Or like... physically incompatible... Or the world needs saving? He DOES have his priorities straight. But like.... Strong Maybe!

But you know what that Tim has? Thousands of other NEARLY identical versions of him. Spanning the Multiverse. All juuuuust slightly off in one way or another. Different choice here. Breakfast was skipped there. Likes tea instead of energy drinks yonder. AND? All have that "someone should probably have been supervising me" Feral spark~

Tim gets Horny. Maybe he and his team pulled a successful mission. Thwarted a Multiversal threat. Wooo! We're young and unsupervised! Beer! Pizza! Making out! WITH EACH OTHER! Thank God we're not dead!!!

But thing is? Tim is a horny drunk. He is... mostly unaware of this. It's apparently just a beer thing. He doesn't like the taste so he's never really drunk them. He's giggly. Wants to fuck. Kon is already asleep. Sad face. Wait.... WAIT! He has a BRILLIANT Idea! He stumbles to his feet. To his room. Ah HA! His "I'm Looooonely~ 🥺" Sexy Photos! Perfect.

He stumbles back. Digs out the Multiverse device. His drunk little mind not stopping to consider this might be a PHENOMENALLY stupid idea. After all... His Kon asleep. Other Kon's not maybe? Sexy sex for Timmy. Mmmm, Sex. His logic, is of course, FLAWLESS. He's gonna do it!

He inputs his photos as an info package, restricts to humanoid realities, clarifies "Evil guys, DNI" because OBVIOUSLY they will honor that, and recognize they are in fact Evil, instead of Misunderstood Heros. Then adds he would like to fuck, Multiverse tech obviously required, then to REALLY seal the deal a saucy " ;) ".

It's PERFECT. He's a GENIUS. Gonna... gonna get SO LAID. He hits send. Goes to get ready for Other Kon. Forgets, gets himself off, and goes to sleep.

DOESN'T REMEMBER TO TELL ANYONE.

It goes EXACTLY as you think it does. They get fucking INVADED by randos. All of whom are thirsting for Batman's son. Many of whom ARE Batman. Some are Kon. Some Superman. There are alternative Tim's. Apparently Go Fuck Yourself is the hot new craze. Tim is super, mega, ULTRA grounded.

But it's also damn near impossible to prevent Batmen from just... stepping into whatever room he's in. From their own reality. Bruce is at his wits end. The fuckers keep fucking and trying to carry off his baby boy. He doesn't CARE if you lost your own! Or never had one! Or yours hates you! Or WHAT! UNHAND THE TIM SON! *extreme violence*

And Dick? Inches from a nervous break down. All these PERVERTS keep coming to MOLEST his brother! Including versions of HIM! Selfs! How COULD YOU!? You don't even plan to ROMANCE him! No dinner or dances or romantic dates! Just fuck him on the floor and stuff a baby in him! *incredible violence* *somewhere... Deathstroke feels weirdly thrilled... huh*

Both Jason and Damian of course are LEARNING some stuff about themselves. Mostly from beating Alt-Selfes off with whatever on hand. Damian especially is having A Time of it. How DARE himselfs make him Realize Drake Is Hot! You magnificent BASTARDS!

Jason is hearing a lot of Husband this and Babyboy that and.... you... you KINKY MOFO with your TENDER EMOTIONS need to cut this shit RIGHT OUT! So help him he will shoot you! RIGHT IN THE DICK.

And of course Kon was all *sees like a bazillion of himself show up when Tim Puss was offered* Yeah this Tracks. I understand completely. *Sees CLARKS showing up* *slow head turn of Death towards his Clark* .....Something you wanna tell me? :) Clark? :)

Lois standing on his other side, who ALSO did the Head Turn: Yeah, honey :) Something you need to get off your chest? :)

Clark, innocent but still cold sweating : Please remember that they are probably Evil. I have a LOT of messed up Alternative Selfs out there. Love you, honey. And I would NEVER.

Just? The unending parade of Multiverse Booty calls? Showing and rocking Timmy's world before he can get a word in edgewise? This poor Tim has already been caught like five times this week and it's only Wednesday? Every chases them off... but poof! New one! Fucked again! Nearly carried off while fucked out and drooling, AGAIN! The best minds on the planet scrambling to fix Timmy's drunk booty call!

He can't patrol, can barely get work down, barely has time to SLEEP. Has woken UP to being fucked by HIMSELF. And a Kon. AND three separate Bruce's. Sometimes multiples show up! Sometimes they SHARE!

Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to argue with men lovingly holding you as they make you orgasm stupid? Hard! Tim keeps LOSING! He can't even walk straight. He's GOO. Fucked out, cum stuffed, GOO.

Dear God his birth control better work or he is DEFINITELY pregnant at this point.

And? In the chaos? Tell me there isn't the chance that his actual fam don't... consider it. With so many versions of themselves popping in and out? Just add then remove an alteration to their costume... no one but them would ever know.

Just? Imagine the chaos~~☆

"ethically sourced Tim Puss" 😭😭😭😭😭 that's the funniest line i've ever read!!! and yessssss!!!!!!!!! this idea!!!!! i love it so much!!!!!!! i've absolutely mused the thought of it before!!! the idea that bruce uses the 'it's not technically incest if it's not MY tim' loophole!!!!!

tim being both a horny and stupid little drunk is so good!!! he definitely has 'lonely night' photos of himself in nothing but tiny little seee through panties and underwear or in nothing but socks and lip gloss. he sends them to kon when he's horny and wants to fuck and now he's using a multiverse outfitted computer to mass send out an email from his dimension with attatched photos like he's a pop ad from a porn site 'like his tits? fuck him today!'

the email will be easily traceable to his dimension to any kon with dimensional tech which is what tim banks on while drunk. but then tim stumbles away and forgets about his photo ladden email and open invitation to fuck. he manages to make it to his room and sloppily stuffs a few fingers into his dripping pussy and clumsily rubs at his clit until his toes are curling and he manges to drunkenly cum. it's not long before he passes out from the combination of alcohol and the bit of satisfaction from masturbating.

in the morning tim's hangover pounds against his head along with the intruder alert alarm which cuts out mere seconds after starting. it's not until he hears his bedroom door sliding open that he looks up to see kon in uniform standing at his doorway and staring at him.

tim's in a simple tshirt and no panties with his legs spread on his messy bed. kon is in full armor though...one of his older suits with the blue accents for some reason.

he's also staring at tim pretty heavily. in the sort of way he's very familiar with because tim can see that heady desire in kon's eyes and knows what's next.

the rest of the titans, kon included, find tim in his room getting wonderfully fucked by his not-kon(?).

thankfully tim gets to cum before they kick that superboy out. they brief tim about how the justice league, batcave, and other hero teams have reported disturbances and anomalies typically seen with dimensional travel and given that the titans just finished kicking some multiverse butt they should probably prepare for another...attack.

only...it seemed like that dimensional traveler had other ideas.

they go to that dimensional laptop they confiscated and very quickly find tim's original email because they are receiving hundreds of interested replies.

it's a hellish week for everyone and tim has absolutely been scolded and reprimanded numerous times. usually after each near kidnapping is avoid because tim keeps getting tracked down and fucked by different versions of horny kons, other tim's, TONS of batmen, nightwing, redhood, and robins.

other bats are typically the ones behind the kidnapping attempts. one nightwing confessed to tim while pumping his cock into tim's poor little hole that his tim hasn't spoken him in years and this was the only chance he'd ever get to forage some connection and feel tim's touch again. red hood is apparently lonely because his 'wife' is away on a space mission and those photos were so teasing and pushed him over the edge. damian apparently wants to know what teenage tim's pussy feels like. but bruce....oh bruce.

poor bruce is so lonely and tortured by the attraction he feels for his son. and then comes tim's pictures. such temptation. such willingness to be fucked by anyone and anything including his father in a different dimension and all of them have problems with their tims.

there are no tims in their dimension, they had a falling out with their tims and don't talk anymore, or their tim has passed away and left them with these horribly compex unresolved feelings and its only through fucking tim that they'll be able to finally move on with their lives.

of course some of those batmen aren't satisfied with the one time deal and attempt to abduct tim who is all woozy and half passed out from orgasms through a portal to their home dimensions.

it's a very difficult week. made more difficult by the fact that tim is clearly a willing engager with many of these different dimensional travelers invading for some pussy.

every single one of the bats is desperate to get this all fixed. the only other person aside from them who wants this all to go away is clark whose marriage and relationship with his sort of clone-son is now on the rocks because more than a few alternate supermen have shown up looking to answer tim's email and fuck his womb full of kryptonian cum. one of them even dug clark's hole even deeper by mentioning how he's curious to see if this tim drake's womb will be just as receptive to kryptonian seed as his own.

and he said it in FRONT of both kon and lois who are now both very angry with clark is so very innocent and he swears that he's never once thought of sweet little tim like that!!! in fact clark was pretty sure tim was the only one of the bats and one of the few capes that genuinely disliked him!!!!!

the fact that tim doesn't blatently reject the superman that whistle and fly past the action, their suits bulging with their erections does nothing to help clark's case.

truly if there is any victim in this entire case-aside from tim's family who are currently in the crisis working the concept of fucking tim out of their system by actually fucking tim- it is clark.

poor sweet clark who, genuinely, has done nothing wrong the entire time.

[fromtenthousandfeet]

FYI, if you're interested.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/25/arts/music/newjeans-kpop-hybe.html?searchResultPosition=1

"For almost as long as K-pop has been a global force, it has been an exemplar of the controversial virtues of top-down control. American pop labels essentially abandoned this mode more than a decade ago, following the boy band and Britney-Christina era. The influence of social media in creating bottom-up hits and stars has all but invalidated the label-knows-best mode of creation. But K-pop’s commitment to that ethic persists, and has made exactitude into an artistic virtue."

JUNGKOOK:

There is a glimpse of where all of this relentless work might lead in “Jung Kook: I Am Still,” a new documentary/performance supercut focusing on the youngest member of BTS, who last year became, in disorientingly short order, the most commercially successful K-pop solo star in American pop.

BTS is the ne plus ultra of Hybe plan — this film is one of several that has focused on the group or its members. It captures, sometimes just barely, the frantic eight-month stretch in which Jung Kook was thrust into solo stardom before enlisting in South Korea’s mandatory military service.

This is what all the hard work of being in BTS was for, ostensibly — a shot at extending his career beyond the very wide boundaries of the group’s accomplishments. Or put more plainly: more hard work.

To the extent that “Jung Kook: I Am Still” is a film at all — as opposed to a slapdash collection of casual moments, behind-the-scenes fan service clips and music and concert videos — it is a film about labor. Or more precisely, the inextricable relationship between labor and glamour.

Like “Pop Star Academy,” it is decidedly unromantic. Jung Kook is alternately enthused and depleted. Even his purported private moments are commoditized: At one point, he’s shown sleeping on a plane. He has a strikingly lithe and sweet voice that’s well-captured on his album “Golden,” a frothy debut that smoothly yanked Justin Timberlake’s comeback lane away from him.

But if Jung Kook is thrilled to be at the top of the charts, he does not show it. Instead, he doubts his vocal range and his natural dance instincts. If he celebrated his ample successes — including a No. 1 single and No. 2 album on U.S. charts — the cameras were not there. If he acted out or pushed back, we’ll never know.

Like many K-pop entertainment companies, Hybe is vertically integrated, and exerts a significant degree of control over its artists’ public presentation. It also builds the metanarratives that become fan manna.

But with success comes courage, or something like it. Not long after NewJeans posted the video about their label concerns, Jung Kook appeared to offer them a measure of support with a pair of cryptic koans: “Artists are not guilty” and “Don’t use them.” Sure, the words appeared on an Instagram account for his dog, but it was revealing — and perhaps indicative of table-turning to come — that they appeared anywhere at all.

Thanks for sharing this, @isaidnothankyou.

This was actually a better article than I was anticipating. The journalist is fair and he cleverly insinuates that k-pop idols don't have much control, if any, over their careers. You can tell he's not a fan of the k-pop model.

Here are some passages that stood out for me:

For almost as long as K-pop has been a global force, it has been an exemplar of the controversial virtues of top-down control. American pop labels essentially abandoned this mode more than a decade ago, following the boy band and Britney-Christina era. The influence of social media in creating bottom-up hits and stars has all but invalidated the label-knows-best mode of creation. But K-pop’s commitment to that ethic persists, and has made exactitude into an artistic virtue.

And here's the description of the making of Katseye:

But the NewJeans conundrum makes this a curious and perhaps not totally fortuitous time for Hybe to loudly demonstrate its micromanaging methods. That’s the intent of “Pop Star Academy: Katseye,” a Netflix series about the making of an English-language global girl group that’s part behind-the-scenes documentary, part elimination competition. (The show, and the group, are part of a joint venture between Hybe and the American label Geffen.) Directed with nervy patience by Nadia Hallgren, “Pop Star Academy” is far more in thrall to the labor being learned and performed than about the art it will be put in service of making. The first batch of trainee competitors practice for over a year: dance classes, vocal lessons, style makeovers, media training. What the show renders explicit is the extent to which a pop star can be constructed from almost whole cloth — the star is the training regimen. Even the contestants with ample social media following and defined personalities before joining the competition are slowly broken and tamed.

At one point the Hybe chairman, Bang Si-hyuk — one of the most powerful figures in K-pop — decides to accelerate the group’s rollout, combining strategy and mischief: “When they wait too long to debut, they get frustrated and lose their spark, which shows in their eyes,” he says, speaking Korean, with a glint in his eye. Critique is offered up like air — cheap and ubiquitous. “I didn’t believe it at all. It felt like nothing, honestly,” says one dance instructor; “Are you aware that you’re singing out of tune?” asks a mentor with clear exasperation. Competitors are derided for flat facial expressions, for failing to live up to K-pop beauty standards, for having private Instagram accounts. Those who chomp at the bit, or otherwise push back, are largely dismissed (except TikTok-popular Manon, whom the label contrives to make a part of the group despite her seeming lack of vigor for the idea). One of the more emotionally sophisticated contestants leaves the show once it shifts from training to competition, which the participants hadn’t been fully informed would happen.

The bold and italicized section stood out to me.

There is a glimpse of where all of this relentless work might lead in “Jung Kook: I Am Still,” a new documentary/performance supercut focusing on the youngest member of BTS, who last year became, in disorientingly short order, the most commercially successful K-pop solo star in American pop.

Jon Caramanica knows Jungkook's meteoric rise to fame and unbelievable records were just that - unbelievable and entirely manufactured. But nobody in western media, or Korean media, for that matter, is willing to call out HYBE's fraudulence. It drives me crazy.

Anyway, I am grateful to see a music journalist also questioning the ethics and appeal of the Korean k-pop idol model. It's just bizarre that Bang PD thinks western artists are clamoring for complete label control, being overworked and underpaid, and almost zero creative control over one's music.

[swiss-mrs]

I'M JUST CURRENTLY UNHINGED

EDDIE MUNSON X BLACK!READER

plus sized/mid sized gf drabble

Eddie likes boobies. (a someone with big boobs, yes, I'm biased)

He is totally a boob man, BUT 100% gropes tf out of your ass as he's suffocating himself in your chest.

He LOVES when you come up to hug him while he's sitting down. It's the perfect height to be face to face with the girls.

He's also a slut who does not grow out of his horny teenage boy phase. He just goes from horny teenage boy to horny teenage man.

He is ultra respectful and caring in a way no boy could be, but he can't help but always make oogly eyes at your chest when you're wearing anything that isn't a turtleneck.

He also loves it when you wear sundresses or sweater dresses. Though you do have some nice, well fitting jeans, the dresses are his favorite.

Things you wouldn't normally think of would always set him off.

You wearing a tight shirt that unintentionally shows the lines of your lacey bra? off

Annoying panty lines? off

Being concentrated af doing your hair? off

Wearing a muumuu and bonnet/hair scarf? off

It can get "annoying" but deep down, it makes you melt cause he's always appreciating your body when you least expect it.

Boob Hickies!

Eddie loves when you sit on his lap. He rests his head on your shoulder/back and caresses your soft tummy.

You were initially self-conscious about putting your full weight on his legs, but his utter comfort with you made you throw that insecurity out the window long ago.

He likes the physics(?) of your boobs. More than just the "jiggle physics" when you're dancing, or jumping, or anything else. 👀

Like when you're laying on your back without a bra, he loves the way they fall to the side a bit.

When you're laying on your stomach and your boobs are squished beneath you, loves that.

NSFW: At first, he'd let you get away with wearing shirts or hoodies during sex knowing you were insecure and not completely comfortable being completely naked in front of him yet, but THAT NONSENSE IS NO LONGER TOLERATED. He needs to see your chest bouncing up and down with every thrust now. It's absolutely invigorating.

Eddie is a total body worshipper, whether it's verbal or non-verbal

Eddie will never forget to say how beautiful you look, especially in those dresses for christ sake

But he also has such small ways of always reminding you of how much he loves your body

He can't keep his hands off of you, Jesus

He loves kissing every part of you.

The little weirdo even likes smelling every part of you

You usually go commando but it never ceases to surprise Eddie when he sneaks his hands up the skirt of your dress to find nothing between his hands and your ass cheeks.

"Every time?!" You say when he looks up at you with raised brows and wide doe eyes for the umpteenth time

Eddie has an individual sense of style, but there's just something about wearing matching outfits with you. The kind that are stylish, like matching color schemes or patterns or fabrics.

He's bought so many button-down shirts that match the colors of your dresses so you two can look like a proper couple when you go out on dates.

He likes the way you look when you wear his leather jacket, contrasting the soft fabric of your sweater dress. It makes you match his edgy accessories and the leather boots he saves for special occasions, aka date nights.

Eddie overheats fast af when cuddling or sleeping next to each other, but he will always make the effort to cuddle tf out of you for as long as he can.

Eddie is a sweetheart of a man. When he finds you, he has no plans of ever losing you. You're both in it for life now.

[levisforgottentea]

Ushijima hcs because I am still in absolute love with him.

Friends or lovers, he always ALWAYS help you with pretty much anything. He offers to do things for you all the time. Your shoe is untied? He ties it. Your water bottle is empty? He fills it.

“Jima…” you sigh as he comes back from filling your water bottle for the third time. It was late and you two were the only ones left in the dance studio.

Now Ushijima isn’t a dancer but he enjoys watching you gracefully learn new moves and he’s probably your biggest a supporter. He loves watching you from afar, for some reason it helps him clear his mind. Like a fresh breath of air.

He draws. HE DRAWS GOD DAMN IT. He loves drawing. (Or maybe it’s just me) but he definitely will draw you. No matter what your doing. Cooking, sleeping, studying. He has a dedicated folder/book filled with sketches, notes and doodles the two of you have made. Please he probably has those folders with the years- like 2010-2011 or something like that. I love him

Hes pretty clueless but knows ALOT. This BBY just knows random stuff wether he overheard it on the train, searched it up, read about it or saw some video. He knows everything but nothing.

“Humans are made of star dust…” he casually slipped while the team were taking a break and discussing next training camp. You turn to look at him “What? Explain please?” The others hum in agreement.

“Well humans are made of star dust. There’s not much to say…Most of the elements of our bodies were formed in stars over the course of billions of years and multiple star lifetimes” he sips his water and gets up to start practice once more, leaving the rest of you questioning your life (BAHAHAH)

He never questions weird habits you have and he always goes along with it. So he’s done his part of weird shit. Eating raw pasta? Sleeping on the carpet? Laying upside down in the couch? Eating on the bathroom floor? Sitting in the bathtub with his clothes on? Yep he’s done it all (based around my own habits^)

THE SAME WITH LIKE FOOD COMBINATIONS OMG.

“What are you drinking?”

You look up from your laptop, the glasses falling off your nose tip. “Uhm.. Monster ultra white mixed with Cola..?” You question like he’s the one being weird in this situation.

He shrugs and casually asks for a sip. (He didn’t like it)

ALSO BASED ON MY OWN EXPERIENCE. No but fr everyone should try that combo ATLEAST once🫶