#ultimate gender envy tbh

[archivedjuice]

marvel's daredevil — 1.11 toby leonard moore as james wesley

[yanderefarm]

I think that I should eat Noemie's left ring finger, just to prove him that I can't resist him! I mean did you know that we put wed ring on this finger because at the time, the Romans believed that a vein ran directly from the fourth finger on the left hand to the heart? Maybe it would be because someone flirted with him and as a way to show that he is mine? I can't eat him completely and I'm not into amputation (I'm not even into cannibalism really) but eating just this specific finger god I'm going feral! (Just some thoughts ofc!)

cw;; cannibalism, gore

man. tbh noemie's story took some inspiration from the game frost bite.... bc i simultaneously want to make out with him and be him. the ultimate gender envy.

that's suffice to say if you know that story you'll know that finger biting is par for the course.

please make sure noemie washes his hands before you go chomping tho bc you don't know where they've been

[huecycles]

oh hey :) thanks for the kind comments and tags left under the last post!

it's so wild how body hair in art & media in general is seen as something "disgusting" or "weird", at first i thought that maybe the way i drew it made it look confusing but no way in hell you couldn't zoom in or just... think logically to know that is natural hair? some people are hairy like that! the way i draw it is more fluffy yes because i love floof and i dont give a shit tbh lol

i knew about the "issue" of jevil being fat so the body hair one threw me for a loop like wow. idk why jevil specifically gets this type of treatment, maybe other fat characters in utdr do too but i always see toriel, asgore, alphys, lancer, king, catti, sans who is a skeleton (and i really can't see him any other way, the fandom is doing a great job in keeping him chubby-like i love that) drawn with mostly correct proportions to in game/official art, yet jevil seems to get this mixed reaction. idk why i still see skinny jevil, or why some people insist his clown clothes are just "baggy". the jester is circular, look at his torso please for the love of god. sorry but i just want more fat rep as a fat person myself. i want jevil to remain short (his sprite is shorter than kris and slightly taller than spamton) and fat like he is in game!

drawing him helped me understand a lot about plus size anatomy, and honestly i couldn't be more happy about that because i'm also dealing a lot better with my body image issues and finally bringing more diversity to my art. him being hairy too is yet another thing that makes me happy as someone with pcos, and portraying him as a fat, hairy trans man as someone who is nonbinary and for months has been wanting to experiment with different pronouns/wondering how it would be like to transition is something really special. it's messy and silly but spamton and jevil are the ultimate comfort characters/ship to me, their stories and how they were written speak volumes and resonate with me a lot + headcanoning them as t4t has been beyond freeing and making me get a lot of gender euphoria/dysphoria/envy all at the same time lmfao what the fuck.

i'm honestly glad for these characters because they're what helped me articulate my recent feelings about my gender to my mother, who has grown a lot and is making an effort to understand all of this. the reaction i sometimes get from people who talk to me, come into my inbox or just pour their feelings out in the tags about how they love my portrayal of spamton and jevil's gender identity + their relationship and how important it is to them is so so cool. yeah :)

speaking of chest hair, here's how spamton looks without the shirt. the left side of his chest has a panel for his heart (a smaller version of neo's) and of course top surgery scars, a different type. he's also hairy! not that much since he's a puppet but he still has the addison floof, it's cute

[wonderbutch]

genres and bands i listen to and how i got into them: an entirely too long useless list i made instead of sleeping

celtic punk

shoutout to the genre ever? i grew up listening to celtic punk literally since i was born. my dad sucks but his music taste does not. this genre is 32% responsible for my leftist punk attitude, which is ironic if you know anything about my father.

- the dropkick murphys: first band i can ever remember hearing. as a toddler i called them “the bastards”. still a favourite forever and everrr. their newish album “this machine still kills fascists” fucks HARD. the band will forever be a formative reminder of my working class upbringing in a miners family

- the rumjacks: late nights and early mornings in my dads car introduced me to this band. i really will tell me ma when i get home and i wont feel guilty about it

- paddy and the rats: one of the only celtic punk bands i actually discovered on my own. in 2018 i went on a sailing ship for a week and that got me rlly into celtic punk again LMAO. this band is so fucking good

emo/pop punk

i was 13 and tbh it was a phase but i still love listening to fob and mcr and sws

- my chemical romance: unironically i think i got into them through band memes

- fall out boy: literally just thru scrolling through youtube when i was 12

- [REDACTED]: [REDACTED]

- sleeping with sirens: this band shaped me as a person. kellin quinn the original gender envy. ohhh i miss this band sm

- all time low: a kid in my class in year 7 introduced me to all time low and ill remember him forever for it. hope youre well, jaiden.

- la dispute: got to see them live last year after @starcam413 got me into them! theyre kinda more screamo like sws but not in the same way as sws but definitely emo too

- set it off: this band is still SO GOOD. so fucking good oh my god. truly the fucking era

- the score: i was a greek mythology nerd as a kid (its my major now!) of course i listened to the score. i miss being 13 and listening to the score on youtube on my laptop at 3am so bad

folk punk

celtic punk and folk punk are very related, and i grew up listening to bands like the pogues and the violent femmes. is it really any wonder how i ended up Like This

- the violent femmes: as a child my dad would play country death song in the car. yes i am mentally ill and have daddy issues can you blame me????? (the song is literally about killing your daughter and then offing yourself)

- toby foster: really one of my proper introductions to the genre and what ultimately led me to discover bands like ajj and pat the bunny. found him on youtube through his song tennessee. i was 13 i think?

- pat the bunny: after toby foster i was completely hooked on the genre and of course ended up listening to the king himself, pat the bunny. your heart is a muscle the size of your fist is such a comfort song to me even now. it sucks he no longer makes music but im very happy he got sober!

- schmekel: im trans and punk of course i listen to schmekel. fantastic trans and jewish band that helped me a lot with my transness as a young teen

- mal blum: im counting his music as folk punkish, sue me. no idea how i got into them either. their song new years eve is the song i listen to on repeat every single new years eve, and i have yet to change this tradition. Help Me.

- the front bottoms: I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS. THEIR EARLIER ALBUMS ARE FOLK PUNK AS HELL. genuinely my favourite band ever. i can’t remember how i got into them but is how i ended up friends with @starcam413 (hi jon!)

- she/her/hers: sooo formative to me when i was 15/16 struggling with being trans.

- harley poe: ohh i love this guy so fucking much. why do i relate so much to a middle aged divorced man????

- days n daze: one of the most popular folk punk bands so i mean. Duh. sooo good i love them.

punk

- the sex pistols: listen. listen to me LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN. i dont even fucking like this band. in fact i despise it. but because my dad is an idiot, he loves this band and played it a lot when i was a kid.

- the queers: i think i heard them on a spotify playlist last year? big fan.

- the muslims: i believe this was recommended to me on reddit?? amazing black and brown queer band, i love it a lot

- tribe 8: im a lesbian with a complicated gender identity of course i listen to tribe 8. trans queer punk band that i listened to a lot when i was like 15 i think

- against me!: listened to them a lot when i was 15

new wave/post punk

got into this genre in 2022 and Hella into it late last year. blame paper girls brainrot.

- devo: got into them in 2022 thanks to an online friend hi ira 🌀 theyve never made a single bad song

- the cure: once again my dad showed me a lot of the cure when i was a kid and getting into music

- blondie: ….have you seen the batman and harley quinn movie….please dont make me say more. the first cassette in my collection is from this band!

- new order: one of my favourite bands right now. like most things for the last three years of my life, i got into this band because of a comic book. the tv adaption of paper girls features two new order songs and it got me absolutely hooked on this band.

rock/all that shit??

- danzig: once again you can blame paper girls for this

- bon jovi: also paper girls. i am obsessed with jon bon jovi’s hair in the 90s. gender envy as fuck

- queen: when i was 14 i found my grandpas mp3 player from the 2000s, he was a big fan of queen. i ended up putting all my music on the mp3 player and ive used it every single day since.

- billy joel: i was raised by my grandmother of course i listened to billy joel. played a lot on our old radio with my nans ipod when i was a kid. apparently my nan isnt even a big fan of him so i guess he was only formative to me lol????

indie

probably one of my most listened to genres just because. i have no reason. ive come to realise that most of my indie music taste is stolen from aura.

- girl in red: shoutout to discovering im a lesbian in 2017/2018 and to my best friend @vampoholica for introducing me to girl in red

- bastille: i love bastille sm icarus is such a good song and as a greek mythology kid i was so obsessed. bad blood youll always be famous to me

- mitski: oguhfhgh i dont know how i got into mitski but good lord. literally life changing.

- the smiths: fuck morrissey. i think this too was aura’s fault and i forgive them bc i love the smiths

- chloe moriondo: ahh the youtube ukulele era how i miss you

- alex g: i can’t remember how i got into alex g but i got into his music in 2022 and now im obsessed and unwell about him

- adrienne lenker: again this is aura’s fault and i am so fine with that. music sooo devastating it makes u wanna throw up and sleep forever

- elliott smith: i started listening to him because of simon vs the homo sapiens agenda

okay thats it thank u for reading this stupid post lol

[trainingdummyrabbit]

the butchest of angelas, magic bullet

YEAAAAA THE BEAST!!! literally when i saw her th first time in my first watch through it was literally just an instant 👀❓❓⁉❓‼

Design- butch angela. 🤝 i do adore her look so much but im gonna have to be painfully honest. i need to ruffle her hair so badly. like SO bad. one thing i remember being commented abt her in the tourney was "she needs a hat so badly." and tbh. theyre right. she would Kill with a cool fucking hat and im so sad she doesnt have one. the shadowy look is Very fucking cool though, so i cant be too mad. always love a girlie in a cloak also. Big Fucking Gun. also did you know she actually has a mouth under there on her sprite sheet that you just never see? this has nothing to do with anything, she just does. Big Fucking Gun. iam also very biased towards designs with gloves. as cool as she is, i canot help but envy how comfy cozy she looks. Big Fucking Gun.

Theme- coming up as the final pin in a line of thoughts, god does this one hit. im not sure if it strays too far from freischutz as a whole, but man. Man. that line from pulling against the compulsion to kill into pulling the trigger On Purpose, hoping at least that itll have Some sort of meaning, knowing ultimately it serves as very little other than to villify you... kinda fucked girlie. and freischutz' role as The Devil, taking up that mantle despite the functional death sentence that it was; to angela ultimately wielding that image of an antagonistic force pushed upon her to further her own goals, since this is simply what she Is.. points and nods. something about that ultimately self destructive tendency, something about bullet of despair. something about losing sight of what you'd originally reached for in favor of just making it through one way or another... thinks.

in conclusion: "hehe omg gender ! ^w^" . "oh shes kinda really fucked up actually." and obligatorily: Kill Girl Kill!!!!!!!!

[woodenchip]

DANGANRONPA 2 GENERAL HEADCANONS

Just some headcanons that I wrote down, most of it is just pure nonsense and I love that for me

🍊Hajime Hinata🍊

•TRANS MASC (HE'S JUST LIKE ME FR)

•Bi man, big bi man (men pref)

•He doesn't untie his tie, he just makes it loose enough to slip it on and off

•Is like really quiet when you don't know him, but once he's comfortable with you he has no control over what he says

•Deals with intrusive thoughts

•He's so silly

•Has ADD or ADHD and OCD

•Sleeps in the fetal position

🍖Akane Owari🍖

•My favorite Demiromantic demigirl

•My girl is sex REPOLST

•Aoi is her cousin

•Akane is so proud of Aoi

•High metabolism omg

•Whenever she got bored doing something with gymnastics she'd go up to little kids and show off

•"You wanna see what I can do-"

•She hopes that by showing off the kids get inspired by her and work hard

•She's really good with kids, like #1 babysitter type shit

•Her and Kazuichi are close too

•Like bff's

⚜️The Ultimate Imposter⚜️

•Agender. Definitely Agender

•They/It motherfucker

•gently holds them

•I LOVE THEM SO MUCH :((

•Everytime they disguise themselves an identity crisis happens

•"No one knows who I really am :), but also, no one knows who I really am :("

•Has a very empty room

•like, little to nothing

•CAREGIVER, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

👾Chiaki Nanami👾

•My silly little she/they lesbian

•Tbh I also feel like she's aroace

•My girl is a whole program, I doubt they care about all that‼️

•Loves Mario Kart

•OCD

•Collects old school gaming controllers and stuff

🩸Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu🩸

•HE/HIM BUTCH LESBIAN

•but also he/him trans masc

•no matter what he's trans, I don't make the rules

•With the Trans fem headcanon I love him with Peko

•They are my silly lesbians♥️

•Has so many scars

•I LOVE HIM

•He does age regression

•I DON'T MAKE THE RULES

•Let me project

🐹Gundham Tanaka🐹

•HE/SHE/THEY NON-BINARY SILLY

•They are simply too cool for gender

•Autism?

•Autism.

• yk that one meme that's like "When I go nonverbal at the function"

•Yeah, that's them

•Has costumes for the Dark Devas of Destruction

•HAS MATCHING COSTUMES WITH THEM

👘Hiyoko Saionji👘

•Lesbian‼️‼️

•Her and Imposter are so Sibling coded

•Like her calling him "Ham hands!" SIBLINGS

•I like found family :)

•Like Hiyoko would annoy them so much but will apologize ONLY to them

•Even with Mahiru, Hiyoko will give her half-ass apologies

•HIYOKO AND IMPOSTER FRIENDSHIP‼️

🎸Ibuki Mioda🎸

•My bi-con

•When she gets Overstimulated she just gets more verbal

•Like "omg it's so loud in here??? Should I be louder? I should-"

•She has like those noise cancelling headphones for when she sleeps because of her heightened hearing

•Without the headphones? Not a wink of sleep

•ADHD and OCD

•Whenever she doesn't concerts she makes friends with the staff (or at least tries to)

•Ibuki and Kazuichi have sleepovers and watch kid shows together just for the fun of it

🔧Kazuichi Soda🔧

•AGAIN, TRANS FEM OR MASC THEY BOTH WORK

•LIKE THAT ONE PART OF KAZ SAYING THAT HE WOULD WANT TO BE A WOMAN TO TALK TO SONIA CASUALLY???? SCREAMS TRANS FEM

•also his thing with Sonia? That's not a crush, that's gender envy. (Let me be silly with this)

•Like his eyeliner in game?? No cis man would be able to do that/hj

•Also has the tism

•NEEDS TO BE HOLDING SOMETHING, ANYTHING

•Has like, a box of stim toys

•DOES JUMPY AND TIPPY TOE STIMS

•They really like the feeling of Gundhams scarf

•ALSO DOES LITTLE SPACE

•Let me project onto them😡

📸Mahiru Koizumi📸

•Lesbian or Panromantic

•Big asexual icon

•She forgets things so easily (Main reason why she took up photography)

•She's always late to the first class of the day because she sees something really pretty and takes multiple pictures of it

💉Mikan Tsumiki💉

•DEMISEXUAL, MY HOMEGIRL HAS TO GET CLOSE TO SOMEONE BEFORE SHE EVEN THINKS ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP

•She's also trans fem

•Gently holds her omg

•She asked Nagito to help fix her hair

•He fucked it up more

•Like you know that one part of her bangs that's shorter than the other strands? He did that

•Nagito and her would be silly friends

•"Why would an amazing Ultimate like you want to be friends with a worthless human like me?"

•She'd say something like- "Because you're not that bad, you just get unlucky sometimes, just like me!"

•Like, with how she falls, she's definitely unlucky

•SHE'S ALSO HYPERSEXUAL

🍀Nagito Komaeda🍀

•I really dislike him so I have very little

•My guy is definitely a He/They

•Is (somewhat) close to most of the Lucky students

•He'd end up degrading them though

•"It's amazing how we got into Hopes Peak from just luck!" "I know, how worthless is it that we are only here because of a name drawing!"

•He doesn't have many friends

•And with the few he does have, he just doesn't understand??

•like, my man is struggling to understand why HE has friends

🌪️Nekomaru Nidai🌪️

•The only cis Man here istg

•I love him so much omg

•He would help younger students train and just exercise

•Like him, Mondo, and Taka, they were like besties

•Taka would look up to him SO MUCH

•I'm also a Taka lover, be warned

•Also really good with kids

•Type of person to swing the swings so hard that it tangles up

•Akane would have to fix the swings

•He's just so silly :((

🎭Peko Pekoyama🎭

•FUTCH LESBIAN, HER AND FUYUHIKO ARE MY SILLY LITTLE LESBIANS, I LOVE THEM.

•She's near sighted

•She HATES contacts

•No matter what she does she doesn't take off her glasses, she wears them in the shower, in the pool, everywhere (just like me)

•Her eyesight gets worse and worse everyday/hj

•CARETAKER‼️‼️

•I LOVE HER SO MUCH

•Near sighted

👑Sonia Nevermind👑

•My girl experiments with pronouns and labels

•She's knows she likes woman though, 100%

•Going with the Trans Fem Kazuichi headcanon: she'd help Kaz with clothes

•Like, "You should try this on-"

•Of course she wouldn't forgive Kaz with the weird harassing thingy but she'd be okay with them after a while

•Sonia doesn't hold grudges

•I'm also a Kazuichi apologist ‼️

•SONIA WOULD CRY IF SHE MET GENOCIDER SHO

•CRYING OF HAPPINESS, LIKE‼️‼️

•"Omg- I've been watching police reports of you since you first started killing-!"

•She would watch Gundham's animals and dress them up in fancy little animals clothes

🍴Teruteru Hanamura🍴

•Pansexual

•We already knew that though

•I have like, nothing for him

•I don't like him >:(

•Loves those really corny romance shows

•Like the really bad ones that suck? Yeah, those

•He has a whole notebook with his mother's recipes for when he left to go to Hopes peak so he could cook them whenever he got homesick :(

•He HATES sharing recipes to other people

•Can NOT work in the kitchen with someone else

•MOVE OUT OF HIS WAY, HE WILL SHOVE YOU‼️

[narwhalandchill]

wuwa rambles incoming, on the negative side ish (?)

so i also ended up downloading wuwa to test it out despite being fairly confident in the assessment that it Will not be a long term thing for me (and yeah stand behind that one after day 1 and some today) and like

firstly yes the state of the game is in shambles lmao like it really wasnt finished in time for release in terms of performance and polish At All. on my side luckily the overall experience has been more or less okay on medium graphics with some glitches and a total of two crashes but its still like. this isnt an optimized game at all. ppl rly have been taking genshin being incredibly cautious with new systems and additions (so that the game actually Functions) for granted i suppose 💀 and or consistently taken the most uncharitable angle towards it . like yes we shouldve had xyz since forever but i 100% believe theres actual spaghetti code behind things taking long and that hoyo genuinely wants to be very careful w it for good reason. but yeah artifact presets where still

secondly as much as the world is like, pretty and vast with many sceneries that make for a beautiful vignette to Look at and all kinds of trinkets to run towards and engage w for that quick dopamine release, i think the fact that the story and lore of the world is just so fucking inconsequential and terribly communicated makes it just. Incredibly hard to Feel anything for it. its like a cake with stunning decorations except u take a bite and realize its all just fondant and no actual flavor. its just there. i dont have any thoughts nor feelings for it bc the worldbuilding is such a failure that i care neither for this place nor the characters whose stories are supposed to be selling me on the entire game. and that really sucks bc this place really Does look stunning in places and i Wish they would give me something to care about but its just the backdrop for the (admittedly fun) pokemon echo farm and ur exploration progress and the combat system

character-wise i also just dont mesh with vast majority of them much. they dont stand out enough from one another and no one except for like scar has actually made me very intrigued about anything at all regarding the world. designs vary from ugh to fine with some that i do like but they still arent like . the kind of Instant recognizable design that just Hits. they look fine but they lack the (jenshin) impact that makes you want to forfeit ur mortal possessions to them

now there is One (1) exception to this to be fair and thats sanhua but thats Literally just bc she is so fucking gender envy to me design wise. like its almost perfect just like that. literally if only her top wasnt open in the back . Id wear that shit SO hard for My scifi fantasy waves that wuther self insert oh my god. she looks like a middle school OC id make JSJSKSKDKUSKDK i love herrr literally the only reason i continue playing tbh . And she has ice powers too she is literally made For Me 💀

(jen forbidden lore tldr a niche finnish Banger of a fantasy book series that rewired my brain at 10 had an Excellently written girl protag who among other things gained op draconic ice powers of eternal winter and since then that simply became My main character daydream self elemental power of choice Always hsjsjsjskvkd)

the combat i think is where wuwa stands out and it definitely lets u engage more with the enemies. like ultimate evasion and counters Feel satisfying and building up ur characters unique mechanic like sanhuas ice constructs for her powered up charge atk Feels satisfying i def think theres a lot of potential there but in terms of A Future Meta in a gacha that wants money idk where things would ultimarely go in the future. but ya that stuff is solid.

enemy designs are also cool but suffer from that same lack of context to make me intrigued w the world theyre a part of. like cool eldritch creature ig but it doesnt give heebie jeebies the same way as seeing like. the husks in the chasm for the first time. where u instantly go oh fuck How. Why. Who were they. bc u know there Will be a relevant answer . etc . which is a shame. make me fear for my life smh

anyway for me my pulls have been like ridiculously bad i am genuinely not joking that getting sanhua on my first starter banner multi is the only reason i stuck w it. like. prior to this morning and getting aalto from the 20 free pulls . i have not received a Single non f2p new 4*. i have chixia c3 who i do Not like. yangyang c2. baizhi c1. Literally i kid you not the other new 4* i pulled today was . Yuanwu. so like considering the event and log in thats also c1 yuanwu c1 sanhua (latter of which i obvi have no issue w). and then my starter 5* was the worst case scenario 💀 Walmart gaming i mean. if u think hes cute cool but i am not at All enthused. id have taken Anyone over him lmao

so thats fun . i mean its fine im not gonna play long term i like sanhua and playing her w baizhi and someone like yangyang or aalto its fine for what i intend to do w it for now. & none of the future 5* rly appeal to me either

ultimately the game definitely has potential but it just. released too soon in a shoddy state and in many ways (mostly relating to its open world) i think is too reliant on just resembling genshin without actually innovating on top of that foundation or distinguishing itself from it. and the failure of its story to make players care about its world At All doesnt help. Do i think the world and lore are shit w 0 potential? well obviously no bc its so poorly communicated i cant even fucking tell you what it is About. but any possible potential there was definitely not utilized how it should so eh

now personally i have absolutely no horse in this toxic drama clownfest of a gacha game war arms race other than its not worth the time nor effort. so i truly have no particular feelings of fervent support nor some schadenfreude about kuro and for competitions sake i Do hope they manage to salvage the situation and that wuwa manages to flourish in the end but ironically enough the genshin "killer" number two more or less seems to have went the way of the other one aka ToF. so thats something i suppose lmao

Like there is something very painfully ironic about it all and it is hysterical in that sense. at least that much i can admit hsiajsks. But truly if some ppl find that wuwa offers them sth better than genshin then good for em, dont let my highly lukewarm reception ruin ur enjoyment. just end the fucking drama farm and disingenuous claims to gas up ur own cope and hype

(and to be clear. i would Not have played like 8 hours yesterday if i wasnt genuinely engaged w trying the game out and having fun lol. its just very clear to me that this early rush of ADHD dopamine oh new game new things to burn through new exploration shinies short term quick fun is very likely all wuwa is going to have on offer for me personally)

anyway thats just me so feel free to share yalls thoughts too if ud like

[they-are-so-gender]

Who is your ultimate gender envy character?

mmmm tbh i6sts my oc but u wouldnt know them sooo (pup if you know my main blog)

i think venti from gtenshin is pretty gender, specificall his archon outfit

[sedpeccasseiuvat]

im so glad i figured out how to have longer hair that

1) actually looks good, 2) isn't too hard to manage, 3) doesn't result in sensory issues, and 4) doesn't feel like it's in contradiction with gender feelings / presentation

(lengthier reflection under the cut)

(....🥁)

last time i had hair this long (about chin length) was a full decade ago, and after i cut it short (again) everyone said "oh geez yeah you look so much better" and generally gave me the impression that my Bob Era was regrettable*

*(why tf didn't anyone say something when it was happening???? this is not a social nicety i love, tbh i would actually like to know if ppl i trust think i look like shit lmao)

anyway i loved my buzz and my lesbian fade and all the various short masc looks ive tried, i even figured out how to make my curls/waves do something other than puff up,

but i continually nurtured this like.......envy at the glorious mane my sister (with the same hair texture) rocked .

and maybe something adjacent to FOMO about never having really learned how to do longer hair well (since i first cut it all off at 13).

and curiosity about what my curls would do with more length now that i had a better care routine worked out for them (Bob Era saw me either straightening it - 💀- or letting it be a poofy unhydrated disaster)

i was always stopped by 1) the notion that i would never tolerate having all that hair - which i eventually discounted because various ppl who know me were like "lmao yeah you def couldn't handle it" and my contrary ass saw that as A Challenge

2) feeling that i wouldn't look good - bc of reception to Bob Era - ultimately i just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ decided to try anyway. didn't think i'd look especially good with a buzz either and i still went for it

AND 3) gender hang-ups. biggest deterrent. Bob Era coincided with probably my most concerted effort to mask (hah) and be 'girly' - also wore a lot of cutesy dresses - and for a while i had a regrettable learned association between long hair and femininity. doesn't help that ive had people since 13 say "ohhhh but you could be so PRETTY with long hair!" and that bullshit. even as an adult - when i went back to buzzed from a longer fade sitch - had a coworker say "but you looked so much nicer before". yeah fuck u maybe i wanna look like a mean tough dyke okay?

hardest bit to get over. had to like............come out as genderqueer and start using she/they and just generally like, actually look my gender feelings in the face. and then something about having all that in the open made it feel less precarious. and also obviously long hair can be masc, so unlearning some unhelpful associations. and figuring out that the shaved sides def help the look feel very queer/unconventional (vs my girly little bob which was.....emphatically normative)

tl;dr im so vain about my hair now and i truly don't know when or if i will be returning to the short look bc i am Attached. i didn't know it could feel like this! i didn't know i would Love it.

[totally-not-a-pigeon]

I feel like the creature from doors on Roblox is ultimate gender envy for me tbh. Like they are the perfect gender. I dunno if I want them or want to be them at this point.

[exn0bisstudios]

Can you play as a trans man or trans woman who hasn't had bottom surgery? Thanks!

You absolutely can! Physical traits have no effect on gender identity or pronouns, which are both chosen separately. Top and bottom surgery options will be available to all MCs, and players can choose whatever combination of traits they are most comfortable with. 

My goal is to enable players to make an MC that they feel truly represents them, so I don’t want to limit things if I can avoid it. Yes it means a lot of variables, but ultimately I think it’s worth the extra work.

(Also I should note that choosing bottom characteristics is only explicitly necessary if a player is pursuing the intimate scenes. I don’t want to force the choice on anyone that may feel uncomfortable with it, so outside of those specific scenes it’s not mentioned and can be left up to player discretion.)

[whoree321]

yo can i get some tech x chaotic gender neutral reader headcanons?

(fuck yeah bestie you understood the assignment. also i kinda went on my own interpretation of chaotic so if you had something a little different in mind lmk and i can make adjustments!)

tech x chaotic!gn!reader headcanons

ok so here’s the thing about tech

he is literally surrounded by/related to some of the most chaotic individuals in the entire galaxy

like wrecker? crosshair? talk about a hot mess express

and let’s not act like he doesn’t have his own little chaotic streak festering beneath that rigid hairline

so long story short, when you come along in all your chaotic glory, it really isn’t a big adjustment for him

he might be a little surprised after he first meets you (how could someone so alluring and attractive also have that personality??) but overall your presence is simply an addition to the pre-existing insanity of the bad batch

he notices right away how well you fit in with his brothers (matching wrecker’s rambunctiousness or crosshair’s quiet nefariousness or both in your own special way) and tbh he’s a little jelly

and by a little jelly i mean he’s 100% super jealous

he watches how you joke around with them and plan pranks with wrecker and make dark commentary with crosshair and how your antics get a laugh out of echo and sometimes even hunter and how well your energy matches theirs and part of him absolutely hates it

(the other part, of course, is too busy being enamoured by the music of your laugh and the mischievous twinkle in your eye and the electric brush of your shoulder against his armor when you move past him in the cockpit of the marauder to really form an opinion on your relationship with his brothers)

despite his envy, tech is not the type to allow his emotions to derail positive outcomes (on missions or in personal matters)

he’s not gonna spoil y’alls fun or even let you know he’s upset about it. if there’s one thing tech thinks he can do it’s keep his emotions in check

when chaos ensues, he regards you with the same familiar condescension and snark he uses with wrecker (although you realize quickly there’s an amusement in his gaze when he mocks you that’s absent when he speaks to the others)

as much as he loathes the current situation, he ultimately also recognizes that it’s no ones problem but his that you are more compatible for individuals with personality types more like wrecker or crosshair

(little does he know you’ve had your eye on him and only him pretty much the whole time)

before your relationship, tech is the unsuspecting victim of a lot of your tomfoolery

you tend to mess with him the most (totally not bc you have a crush on him or anything nononono)

hiding a tool or his data pad when he’s not looking? a classic

“tech i have no idea where your wrench is i don’t even know what it looks like” “y/n you play this practical joke approximately 3.7 times a standard week I know you are lying”

stating completely made up facts about different things or places with full confidence and arguing with him when he corrects you? tried and true

“fun fact: loth cats actually have a secret fifth leg tucked up underneath them and it only comes out in extreme emergency circumstances” “that could not be more untrue” “ok well have you ever checked” “…no, but..” “see tech there’s just some things you can’t know from book learning” “*deep sigh*”

the best is when you flirt with him tho

it is bold and brash

“I need something sharp to cut through this” “just use your jawline ;)”

“the system we are traveling to is known for its extreme heat and rough terrain” “hot and rough? sounds like you in the bedroom ;)”

he chokes and blushes everytime

despite the constant torment and how much he acts like it’s a nuisance, he secretly loves all the attention you give him (even if it’s at his expense)

knowing our sweet boy he is wayyy too socially awkward to make the first move in this situation (or to even recognize there is a situation tbh)

tech is pretty confident you view him as strictly a friend and an easy target for your shenanigans

like even if you basically admit to liking him, he’s gonna think it’s another joke. plotting and scheming with the other boys to make him step up (a classic “i’m gonna pretend to make a move on them to force your hand” for example) will not work

you have to very directly confess to him and it has to be very very genuine and away from the rest of the boys in order to get it into his exceptional mind that you seriously have feelings for him

once he gets that you mean it tho, he’s over the moon

and once youre in a relationship? the rest of the batch should be WORRIED

now your focus is no longer on messing with tech, and you have a super genius on your side

he may have enjoyed being a casual observer and constant victim before, but now that you’ve allowed him on your team it’s a totally different ballgame

he’s still happy to take a backseat and let you do your thing, but he also loves to be a background player in all your hooplah

you wanna play a prank? tech is scheming and building shit and looking at diagrams to figure out the best way to execute it

hunter gets mad at something you did? tech has already figured out a way to pull focus off of you and onto one of the other boys

OR EVEN BETTER a non-batcher (a reg, a superior, a random streetgoer) takes an isssue with you? tech is launching into a full rant with them about something completely unrelated and giving you time to scamper away before they can even begin to reprimand you

tech is the kind of boyfriend that isn’t gonna overtly match your energy, but can keep up and will balance you out

you still mess with him, but now he has the confidence to mess with you right back

this also creates a really spicy sexual dynamic (I won’t go too into that but def a lot of teasing, brat taming kinda stuff)

overall i actually think tech would be really good with someone more chaotic and wild bc he can seem so rigid but isn’t actually like i think that type of relationship would really suit him

you bring out his playful side and he keeps you grounded, out of trouble, AND acts as a top notch audience/partner in crime

rip hunter tho now he’s got tech to worry about on top of all the rest of you (except echo he’s a perfect angel who could never cause trouble for anyone <3)

[buckets-of-dirt]

💛 - Who or what made you realize you were queer?

Tbh it's been such a bumpy road that I'm not sure which one Actually Counts anymore, so feel free to take your pick. Some are cringier than others

Age 13: my best friend at the time came out as bi, prompting me to briefly realize I liked girls before repressing it

Age 15: that one Natalie Dormer gif wlw tumblr was obsessed with in 2014

Age 16: binging Ash Hardell videos made me question my gender for the first time, but in keeping with earlier patterns I ultimately put those feelings away for Later

Age 20: mid-way through attending a community theatre production of Into the Woods I realized I preferred to sing the boy parts in musicals, which eventually led to admitting to myself that I'm not cis

Age 22: the list of male characters I had gender envy for finally hit critical mass during an episode of Turn: Washington's Spies and I decided it was time to talk to a therapist

[maraleestuff]

About: Alleilyn Willowwing

Tagged by @curiousartemis for this a few days ago, but getting around to it now lol. So cool to learn some more about Imi!

And now, a good character page for Alleilyn! Adding a Read More cause it’ll probably be lengthy.

Name: Alleilyn Willowwing

Alias: Leilie. It’s a penname she uses when she writes to Ayrenn (who has her own alias). Their letters are mostly personal, but it’s a precaution incase their letters fall into the wrong hands. Ayrenn is a Queen, after all. (Lore wise, I think Bosmeri use a special type of paper called vellum, if they write at all, with a special type of ink. So I might find a work around with magic.)

Gender: Female.

Age: 24.

Species: Bosmer (Wood Elf)

Zodiac:  aquarius / aries / cancer / capricorn / gemini / leo / libra / pisces / sagittarius / scorpio / taurus / virgo / unknown

Abilities/ Talents: Alleilyn is skilled in alchemy, restoration, and is well-learned in her knowledge of anatomy. She’s also worked closely with the Vinedusk Rangers, so on top of field medicine, Alleilyn has also been a scout, and can track/ hunt with a bow fairly well. Finally, Alleilyn is also a skilled necromancer, but she isn’t particularly proud of it; as she recovers her memories, she slowly pieces together how and why she has this skill in the first place. (I saw a writing prompt once about how healing and necromancy are similar, and I thought it would add an interesting layer to her character & story.)

~ Personal ~

Alignment: lawful / neutral / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true

Religion: Alleilyn follows Yfrre. (My knowledge of tes universe religions isn’t that great tbh)

Sins: Envy / Greed / Gluttony / Lust / Pride / Sloth / Wrath

Virtues: Charity / Chasity / Diligence / Humility / Justice / Kindness / Patience

Language(s): The common tongue of Tamriel, and Bosmeri, though I’m not sure if the Bosmer officially have their own language.

Family: Alleilyn was close with her mother and her sister, Nivaia, but she never really knew her father, as he died when she was young. Her mother, since she raised them both on her own, doted on them and saw to their education and skills, so they could be independent. Nivaia (28) joined the Vinedusk Rangers, and helped against the Blacksap rebellion, but she died in the battle of Cormount. (Does backstory count as spoilers when Alleilyn is recovering memories in story?) Although she was never quite the same after Nivaia died, Alleilyn still remained close with her mother until she was sent, unwillingly, to Coldharbour.

Friends: Alleilyn has always preferred a good book to socializing, but she did make lasting friendships when she studied and practiced with the Mages Guild and the rangers. There was never any time, or will, for friendships while she was in Coldharbour; so even after her escape, she initially thinks of Lyris and the Prophet as tentative allies. She doesn’t know what to make of Razum-dar either, but after awhile, he starts to grow on her.

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual / Bi-Pansexual / Homosexual / Demisexual / Asexual / Unsure / Other

Relationship Status: Single / Dating / Married / Widowed / Open relationship / Divorced / Not ready for dating / It’s complicated (with the planemeld and getting her soul back, it’s the last thing on her mind. Of course, life doesn’t always take intentions into account... 😏)

Libido: Sex god / Very High / High / Average / Low / Very low / Non-existent

In unofficial lore, or so I’ve read, Bosmer have the highest sex drive of all the races 😂 so that’ll be fun once I get to Romance (within reason).

~ Physical ~

Build: Twig / Bony / Slender / Average / Athletic / Curvy / Chubby / Obese

Hair: White / Blonde / Brunette / Red / Black / Other - caramel brown/ blonde

Eyes: Brown / Blue-gray / Green / Black / Other

Skin: Pale / Fair / Olive / Light Brown / Brown / Very Brown / Other

Height: 5′2

Weight: 110

Scars: Knife wound above heart, whipping wounds on her back.

Facial Features: She has an almost gaunt, but youthful heart-shaped face with wide eyes, green as the deep woods, sharp eyebrows, an upturned nose, and full lips. Freckles are scattered over her cheeks and nose.

Hair Style: Alleilyn usually wears her hair in a braid or updo when she’s traveling, doing missions on behalf of Ayrenn, or working with patients/ alchemy. When she isn’t busy, or is doing light work, she’ll keep her hair down. If she’s roped into a formal/ political event, Alleilyn will wear a more ornate style, with complex braids or buns.

Tattoo(s): None. She might consider one though, depending on what it is or why she would get it.

~ Choose ~

Dogs or cats? I’m not sure she’d get a house cat, but I can totally see her with a senche cub. Undecided on how she’ll get one though—as a gift from Ayrenn, or maybe she rescues one in the wild.

Birds or nugs? I’ll be honest, I have no idea what nugs are.

Snakes or spiders? She’s not afraid of snakes exactly, but she’s not fond snakes after dealing with the Maomer.

Red or blue? 

Yellow or green? (She doesn’t have any particular favorite colors, so I’ll assume these are for aesthetic)

Black or white? 🤷‍♂️

Coffee or tea? I’m not exactly sure how it fits into the Green Pact, if they can, but Alleilyn buys teas from merchants that come from outside Valenwood. She tries not to make it obvious though, when around other Wood Elves.

Ice cream or cake? Alleilyn enjoys her treats when she can.

Fruits or vegetables? She follows the Green Pact pretty strictly, so her diet is mostly meats, nuts and dairy.

Sandwich or soup?

Magic or melee? Alleilyn isn’t much of a fighter, but she will fall back on conjuration magic in desperate situations.

Sword or bow? If she must use a weapon, and not a staff, Alleilyn will use a bow. She hunted frequently with Nivaia and the other rangers, so she has an accurate aim.

Summer or winter? Alleilyn is used to the heat and humidity of Valenwood, even if she doesn’t remember it right away.

Spring or autumn? Alleilyn has learned to be appreciative of life, especially in the jungle, which is rife with it everywhere. Spring is a time of rebirth, but autumn is the time before winter—or hardship—which is equally necessary in life.

The Past or The Future? Ironically enough, despite having little to no memories before the prisons and misery of Coldharbour, Alleilyn feels almost trapped by the past. She doesn’t know how she got there, what she could have possibly done to deserve her fate, and ultimately, who she is. The only tangible memories she has is being tortured, and nightmares of her tormenters.

Well...that got dark. It does get better for her, I promise. Anyway, I’m not exactly sure who to tag for this but I’ll list other writers: @daedriclorde, @parasite-core, @stardust-crow​, @maxgraybooks​, @pearlll09​, and anyone else who’s interested!

[incorrectlit]

What about Prince Myskin in a modern AU?

Somft boi:

BASICS:

- full name: Lev Nikolayevich Myshkin

- Gender: male

- Sexuality: bi again

- Pronouns: he/him

OTHERS:

- family: He’s got an uncle whom he’s close with

- Birthplace: St. Petersburg

- Job: kindergarten teacher

- Phobias: he’s very scared of geese

- Guilty pleasures: he smokes but he’s trying to quit

MORALS:

- morality alignment: chaotic good

- Sins: lust/greed/gluttony/sloth/pride/envy/wrath NONE

- Virtues: chastity/charity/diligence/humility/kindness/patience/justice

THIS OR THAT:

- Introvert/extrovert: extrovert actually

- Organized/disorganized: disorganized. He’s very scatter-brained

- Close-minded/open-minded: open-minded! He loves new ideas

- Calm/anxious: anxious

- Agreeable/disagreeable: agreeable! He is! The nicest! Person! You’ll ever! Meet!

- Cautious/reckless: reckless lol

- Patient/impatient: patient

- Outspoken/reserved: reserved

- Leader/follower: follower

- Empathetic/unempathetic: very empathetic. Too much empathy my dude

- Optimistic/pessimistic: optimistic

- Traditional/modern: traditional

- Hard-working/lazy: hard-working! He loves his job!

RELATIONSHIPS:

- OTP: read below

- OT3: MYSHKIN X ROGOZHIN X NASTASYA MY ULTIMATE OT3

- Brotp: Aglaya. They’re besties! Also, he has a service dog — a big ol German Shepherd named Prince

- NoTP: tbh Aglaya. She’s too mean to him for me to ship them

[wethalla]

OC Details:  Nathra Lavellan

Got tagged a little bit ago by @drellvhen​, thanks! :D

Gonna tag... uhhh, @lukeskywalkersbutt, @daydreamingdragonage, @a-roaming-halla, annnddd @jaylahz. also anyone else that wishes to do it :3

B A S I C S

full name: Nathra Lavellan

gender: Female

sexuality: Bisexual

pronouns: she/her

O T H E R S

family: Shala Lavellan (mother, deceased) & Thelen (father, alive)

birthplace: in the wilds between Wildervale and Kirkwall (raised in the Kirkwall Alienage)

job: she was second to the keeper of clan lavellan, potentially inquisitor?, if not any of that (or companion to the quizzie) she’d probably be a baker or a gardener

phobias: corpses, large bodies of water, and uhhh she has an almost crippling fear of disappointing people that leads to her losing herself (especially as inquisitor) and it takes a lot of time to regain her pride and sense of self once she realizes

guilty pleasures: uhhh, I don’t know that she really has any? she does sometimes swipe newly ordered supplies by the cooks in the kitchens to make special treats for herself and friends if that counts.

hobbies: gardening & baking are the biggest ones. she also enjoys helping blackwall with his woodworking from time to time.

M O R A L S

morality alignment?  Neutral Good

sins:  Desire / Despair / Envy / Fear / Hunger / Pride / Rage / Sloth

virtues:  Charity / Chastity / Diligence / Humility / Justice / Kindness / Patience

T H I S - O R - T H A T

introvert/extrovert: extroverted, typically

organized/disorganized: leans toward disorganized

close minded/open-minded: tries to be open-minded (but creators, shems can by trying)

disagreeable/agreeable: generally agreeable

cautious/reckless: reckless

patient/impatient: patient (usually)

outspoken/reserved:  ultimately outspoken.

leader/follower: prefers to be a follower

empathetic/unempathetic: empathetic

optimistic/pessimistic: optimistic, if she can help it

traditional/modern: traditional

hard-working/lazy: ehhh, depends? leans more toward hard-working tho

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

otp: nathra x logan or nathra x samson

Acceptable ships:  nathra x carver, nathra x blackwall, nathra x love/happiness/acceptance, nathra x like any of my da ocs tbh

brotp: nathra & varric, nathra & lily (<3), nathra & kinda really anyone? 

notp:  haven’t really run into one for her yet? she’s my sunshine girl that preeeetty much gets on with anyone and i could prooobably find a reason for her to be with anyone lmao