#ultimate Julie question binge quest

[grilledkatniss]

what would be your dream job? What’s your favorite part of Halloween? Do you prefer hot drinks or cold drinks?

My dream job would either be a boring 9 to 5 office job that would just provide me with a sense of economic security and a healthy routine... or like something where I get paid to stay fit. Like mountain climbing instructor or something. I would absolutely love to get paid for being in decent shape enough to perform some type of energizing activity idk. Like I'd work out all day with an incentive like that. I don't work out much because I don't like working out where other people can see me and I hate the gym but I do love to exercise. Then also maybe basic level gardening.

Favorite part of Hallowienner is the vibe. Jesty feisty good times vibes. Unlike Christmas time where there's a seriousness behind the festivities, you know what I mean? Halloween is more frat house party and funny decorations, inside jokes and upbeat music, getting dressed up just for the bit and playing with make up and fake blood. Then Christmas and New Years are more festive decorations tidy ass living room with table cloths on every flat surface because everyone will be bringing their own salad dish or a dessert, the fancy cutlery out, expensive champagne and proper dresses. Well also it's October and everything looks greener and smells fresher, but still with some remnants of winter (it's spring here in October)

With drinks it strongly depends on the time of yearrrr! I like hot stuff during winter and ice cold in the summer. Iced coffee during winter? I'd take it but it wouldn't have been my first choice. Hot Cocoa in summer? Gladly, but give me a glass of cold milk with it.

Now, I really like spiced and hot alcoholic beverages. Hot Spiced Wine, Bailey's coffee with some cinnamon in it, spiced rum coffee, hot toddy.. I get more excited with those than with like a daiquiri or an aperol spritz. A bunch of cold cocktails and drinks also tend to have some carbonated base ingredient like coke or soda or just plain old beer. Those do not sit that well with me.

[awritingcaitlin]

August Wrap-Up

August was a bit like July. I wrote more than I thought I would. Slowly easing back into Heist. Actually feel like I’m getting somewhere again. Also it helps that I’m not holding myself accountable to have “[so many] chapters done by [date]” it’s more like “I will write/edit for at least 30 minutes every day and see how that goes.” And it’s working really well for me right now.

Still no move. Still no luck with job applications. Not much to say there because it’s depressing.

📺On the Screen📺

So we watched Dungeon Meshi/Delicious in Dungeon. And that was fantastic. I knew I was gonna like it. I did not realize how much I was going to like it. I loved watching something that talked about diet serving you and your body, not trying to push yourself into something that’s ultimately bad for you. I loved watching everyone’s particular brand of autism. The magic system. The worldbuilding. The general symbolism I could write essays on it.

Marcille is, unsurprisingly, my favorite. You had me at “elf mage” to be honest. But also the way she approaches magic. The reason she does the things she does. Her propensity for “blow it up first, ask questions later.” Her particular brand of necromancy :) I just love her. I think one of my favorite parts was when they were fighting the red dragon and Laios told her to blast him up to the dragon’s face using only Senshi’s shield as protection and she balks a bit but then she does it. The two of them are matched crazy for crazy in the best way.

I’m slowly working my way through the manga now to see what happens next. I am mad that we didn’t get the bit about Marcille’s hair during the ritual but otherwise I’m loving how faithful the anime adaptation is. Looking forward to Season 2!

🎮With a Controller🎮

Technically, mouse and keyboard, but still. Continuing my run of Dragon Age: Origins. I keep binge playing it off and on. So I’m only about halfway through. I’ve finished Ostagar, done the Brecelian Forest, the Circle Tower, and Redcliffe through saving Connor. I’m now questing to find the Urn of Sacred Ashes.

I’m also going through a bit slower because I’m sorta-kinda writing down events as they happen for that theoretical Origins fanfic I keep telling myself I’m going to write. But I actually have more substance to it this time. (Oh yeah I did mention this last month. So yeah, it’s still happening.)

Also the brainrot of “Delicious in Dragon Age” happened and I was thinking about a blend of the two. Have I actually gone anywhere with this? Nope! But it sure was fun to think about for a few days.

(also it's so amusing when I'm on fire during a cutscene because the animation didn't stop prior to the scene starting.)

💻At the Keyboard💻

In addition to the zero draft stream-of-consciousness Dragon Age fanfic, I did put some more effort into Heist this month. Restructuring everything last month really got me going again. My total net word count for the month wasn’t very high, but that’s also because I’ve been deleting stuff that isn’t working. (Or, rather, moving it to a deleted scenes folder which doesn’t impact my total word count in Scrivener.)

But yeah, Chapter 27 got half rewritten to set up my new stakes. Then, naturally Chapter 28 needed edits to reflect that. Chapters 29-30 actually were mostly unaffected. But then Chapter 31 needed edits, Chapter 32 needed the major conversation in the second half entirely reworked, and Chapter 33 needed to be reworked tonally. Chapter 34 was entirely new, but it fit in and filled a hole nicely. The latest thing I’ve done is change the POV for Chapter 35, which I’m almost done with. There’s now going to be 48 chapters according to my most recent outline and hopefully I’m still under 110k words when I’m done. (Previous draft was 60 chapters and 106k words.)

But word count is actually not something I’m generally thinking about at the moment. I’m trying to get it all on the page. Ideally, by the end of this month I’ll be nearing the end of this draft. It’s the stretch goal, but I’m not going to beat myself up over it. 30 minutes a day minimum, we’ll see where that gets me.

More rambling about Heist under the cut:

The Needed Changes: (as of right now) Chapter 35 - POV shift that I’m still working on Chapter 36 - will need minor edits Chapter 37 - needs to be entirely redone Chapter 38 - I have a framework but the stuff I’ve changed will mean major edits Chapter 39 - taking bits and pieces from other chapters from the previous draft for an effectively brand-new chapter Chapter 40 - similar case as Chapter 39 Chapter 41 - framework there, but will need major edits to reflect previous changes Chapter 42 - moderate to major edits Chapter 43 - major edits Chapter 44 - moderate to major edits Chapter 45 - major edits Chapter 46 - major edits Chapter 47 - major edits Chapter 48 - mostly all good, but will need minor to moderate edits Anyway, here’s to getting further in this draft and getting it out to beta readers within a month or so!

[carolinesiede]

Reflecting on 2020

The strangest thing about 2020 was how familiar much of it felt: Working from home, extended periods of isolation, weeks and months blending together. To a much lesser degree, those are things I experience each year as a freelancer. And while I suspect it will take awhile before the full extent of the trauma we’ve all lived through this year fully sets in, right now I’m mostly focused on gratitude. I’m grateful for the health of my loved ones. Grateful I already had a work-from-home routine to maintain during the pandemic. And grateful that I was able to quarantine with my family for much of the year—which had its challenges but also its rewards too.

In my 2019 year-end post I wrote about feeling like my career was finally on an upward trajectory after several years of plateauing. This year obviously offered some new wrinkles in that regard. I made significantly less money and felt familiar fears about how sustainable this career actually is. But having less work also gave me more time to focus on the actual craft of writing. I feel like I reached a new level in terms of voice, clarity, and the ability to self-edit. I'm the sort of person who constantly (arguably, obsessively) strives to be better, and it’s rewarding to feel like that hard work is finally slowly starting to pay off.

In addition to devoting my quarantine time to mastering a favorite curry recipe, getting really into the Enneagram, finally learning to French braid hair, and rewatching all of New Girl, I also had some really cool opportunities scattered throughout the year. I interviewed John Barrowman about his surprise return to Doctor Who, which felt like a real milestone for me. I also contributed to the Los Angeles Times’ list of TV shows to binge-watch during quarantine, which appeared both online and in print. And thanks to everything going virtual this year, I was able to attend a press panel for the fifth season of This Is Us, which is the sort of thing I’m not usually able to do as a Chicago-based critic. 

My career is always a juggling act between film and TV, and this year made me appreciate how valuable it is to be able to move seamlessly between both worlds. I took on new TV assignments covering the first season of Stargirl and the second season of The Umbrella Academy, both of which were a blast to write about. And while I didn’t watch quite as many films as I did in my insane catch-up year last year, I did fill in some more major blindspots. I also contributed to The A.V. Club’s list of the best films of 2000 and shared my own ballot over on Letterboxd. Oh, and I set up a Letterboxd this year too!

Elsewhere, I made my debut on Bustle and The Takeout, and ended the year with a Polygon article about “Kind Movies” that pretty much sums up my entire ethos on storytelling. I was also named a Top Critic by Rotten Tomatoes, which was a real honor. But the pride and joy of my career remains my rom-com column, When Romance Met Comedy. I devoted a whopping 49,000 words to analyzing 25 different romantic comedies this year. And I’m really pleased with how the column has grown and with the positive feedback I’ve received.

I have to admit, I sometimes worry that year-end highlight reels like this one can make my life seem easy or glamorous in a way that doesn’t reflect what it’s like to actually live through it. I'm tremendously lucky to get to do what I do, but I also struggle a lot—both with the logistics of this career and with bigger questions about what value it brings to the world. My goal is to approach 2021 with a greater sense of intentionality. I want to be more thoughtful in my career choices, more purposeful in how I use social media, and more active in my activism and politics. I’d also like to do 20 push-ups a day everyday for the whole year, but we’ll see how long that resolution actually lasts.

Finally, on a sadder note, one other defining experience of the year was the loss of my dear internet friend Seb Patrick, who I’ve known for years through the Cinematic Universe podcast. Seb created a wonderfully positive nerd space online, and was a big part of my early quarantine experience thanks to the Avengers watchalongs I did with the CU gang in the spring. I’m so grateful for all the fun pop culture chats we got to have throughout the years, several of which are linked below. Seb is tremendously missed, and there’s a fund for his family here.

As we head into 2021, I’ll leave you with wishes for a Happy New Year and a roundup of all the major writing and podcasts I did in 2020. If you enjoyed my work, you can support me on Kofi or PayPal. Or you can just share some of your favorite pieces with your friends! That really means a lot.

My 15 favorite films of 2020

My 15 favorite TV shows of 2020

Op-eds, Features, and Interviews

Women Pioneered The Film Industry 100 Years Ago. Why Aren’t We Talking About Them? [Bustle]

2020 is the year of the Kind Movie — and it couldn’t have come at a better time [Polygon]

Make a grocery store game plan for stress-free shopping [The Takeout]

What’s Going On: A primer on the call to defund the police [Medium]

Doctor Who’s John Barrowman on the return of Captain Jack Harkness [The A.V. Club]

Episodic TV Coverage

Doctor Who S12

This Is Us S4 and S5

Supergirl S5

Stargirl S1

The Umbrella Academy S2

The Crown S4

NBC’s Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch Musical!

When Romance Met Comedy

Is The Ugly Truth the worst romantic comedy ever made?

Working Girl’s message is timeless, even if the hair and the shoulder pads aren’t

You’ve Got Mail and the power of the written (well, typed) word

Love & Basketball was a romantic slam dunk

How did My Big Fat Greek Wedding make so much money?

America eased into the ’60s with the bedroom comedies of Doris Day and Rock Hudson

I can’t stop watching Made Of Honor

Notting Hill brought two rom-com titans together

It’s time to rediscover one of Denzel Washington’s loveliest and most under-seen romances

Something’s Gotta Give is the ultimate quarantine rom-com

20 years ago, But I’m A Cheerleader reclaimed camp for queer women

On its 60th anniversary, Billy Wilder’s The Apartment looks like an indictment of toxic masculinity

The Wedding Planner made rom-com stars out of Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey

After 25 years, Clueless is still our cleverest Jane Austen adaptation

William Shakespeare invented every romantic comedy trope we love today

Edward Norton made his directorial debut by walking a priest, a rabbi, and a Dharma into a Y2K rom-com

The forgotten 1970s romantic comedy that raged against our broken, racist system

His Girl Friday redefined the screwball comedy at 240 words per minute

Before Wonder Woman soared into theaters, the hacky My Super Ex-Girlfriend plummeted to Earth

Dirty Dancing spoke its conscience with its hips

The rise of Practical Magic as a spooky season classic

In a dire decade for the genre, Queen Latifah became a new kind of rom-com star

Years before Elsa and Anna, Tangled reinvigorated the Disney princess tradition

Palm Springs is the definitive 2020 rom-com

Celebrate Christmas with the subversive 1940s rom-com that turned gender roles on their head

The A.V. Club Film & TV Reviews

Netflix’s To All The Boys sequel charms, though not quite as much as the original

The Photograph only occasionally snaps into focus

Jane Austen's Emma gets an oddball, sumptuous, and smart new adaptation

Pete Davidson delivers small-time charms in Big Time Adolescence

Council Of Dads crams a season of schmaltzy storytelling into its premiere

In Belgravia, Downton Abbey’s creator emulates Dickens to limited success

Netflix’s Love Wedding Repeat adds some cringe to the rom-com

Netflix takes another shot at Cyrano de Bergerac with queer love triangle The Half Of It

We Are Freestyle Love Supreme is a feel-good origin story for Lin-Manuel Miranda’s first troupe

Sara Bareilles’ melodic Apple TV+ series Little Voice is still finding itself

Netflix’s sexist rom-com sensation gets a minor upgrade in The Kissing Booth 2

With Howard, Disney+ movingly honors the lyricist who gave the Little Mermaid her voice

The Broken Hearts Gallery tries to find catharsis in heartbreak

Netflix’s ghostly musical series Julie And The Phantoms hits some charming tween high notes

After We Collided slides toward R-rated camp—but not far enough

Holidate is a bawdy start to Netflix’s holiday rom-com slate

Kristen Stewart celebrates the Happiest Season in a pioneering queer Christmas rom-com

Isla Fisher gets her own Enchanted in the Disney Plus fairy tale Godmothered

Podcast Appearances

Debating Doctor Who: “Orphan 55”

It Pod To Be You: The Wedding Singer

Reality Bomb: Defending Doctor Who’s “Closing Time”

The Televerse: Spotlight on Doctor Who Season 12

You Should See The Other Guy: The Ugly Truth

Only Stupid Answers: Stargirl’s season finale

Motherfoclóir: Ireland and the Hollywood Rom-Com

Called in to Nerdette’s Clueless retrospective episode

Cinematic Universe Appearances

Cinematic Universe: Superman IV: The Quest For Peace

Cinematic Universe: Birds of Prey

Cinematic Universe: Infinity War watchalong

Cinematic Universe: Endgame watchalong

Cinematic Universe: Terminator 2

Cinematic Universe: Josie and the Pussycats

Cinematic Universe: The Cuppies 2020 (Cuppies of Cuppies)

And here are similar year-end wrap-ups I did in 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, and 2013.

[the-invisible-self]

Sonia Ruiz

The Universes In This One

by Kit Lea Cheang

After three days of bathing in the Myrtle Beach sun, sipping on sangria from red cups and jumping waves, I fell sick. So I sat in my Chapel Street apartment for a day, on a diet of Tylenol and water, binge-watching the Netflix drama The OA. The OA is about many things — a blind girl who regains her sight, a telepathic octopus Old Knight, a video game that brings its players to a mysterious house — but at heart it is about the multiverse.

In the multiverse, parallel universes exist side-by-side. In one, Sonia and I were not in the same Froco group — we never met and never became best friends. Clinton was president, not Trump. I took Organic Chemistry instead of Directed Studies. I never fell in love with philosophy. In another, I never even came to Yale. In one, I was born a boy.

There is no way for me to access these universes, only imagine them. I gain comfort in the other me’s living other lives but ache for the universes I will never live.

But what if multiverse exists, in this universe?

Think of the universes we inhabited. That third floor lecture hall in LC where we learned about the growing block theory of time as snow pelted outside the window. The Hopper Cabaret, where we spent our nights rehearsing for our spoken word show, the world outside the theatre disappearing as we listened to each other. The attic of the Yale Daily News building, where we gave each other lap dances to Glen Campbell at 1am as we proofread the Friday morning spread. That house on Lynwood, where we played kiss marry kill and showed each other parts of ourselves that were difficult to share. Our favorite table in Hopper, where we had lunch together every other day before your astronomy lecture. The apartment where the three of us talked about empathy, lab rats, and our freshman year mistakes, as Rihanna belted from the speakers.

As I read books, wrote essays, heard from brilliant minds and met new people, I started to question the basic tenets of the universe I had always known. Taking a class on citizenship made me wonder what allowed me to belong to a country any more than someone without a passport who had fled here out of fear of persecution. Reading Althusser prompted me to consider how everything personal is political, from who I desire to what I value to how I like my coffee in the morning. Attending my first protest made me wonder how our emotions — anger, blame, contempt — could be channeled productively. Taking a class on human evolution led me to revel in how all that we take for granted — fire, tools, language — had to be discovered.

I came to realise that the people around me held a universe in them. I could gain access to these universes simply by listening. In my internship at the Public Defender’s Office, I heard stories from girls and boys my age about how they stole, snorted, punched and wondered what brought them to that side of the table and me to this. In listening to stories from peers from distant backgrounds, I marvelled at the ways they overcame challenges I had never even considered. Walking down the streets, I cringed at every catcall and turned away panhandlers, but thought about how situations produce people as much as people produce situations.

Yale is the most brilliant of universes, but ultimately, it is a closed one. It opened my mind to a multitude of universes beyond my own, but the work it can do for me and for us is limited. There are dimensions I cannot yet fathom beyond these gates, and the quest of learning about these universes continues as we step beyond Yale.

What I wish for myself and for my peers who will graduate with me is that we be comfortable with ambiguity, as we move into universes yet unknown to us. One of the most memorable lessons I learned at Yale, from my philosophy professor, was that an essay need not take one side unequivocally and denounce the other. Sometimes, it can sit in the space of ambiguity and hold two seemingly contradictory truths at once. I know you so well, but you are still unknown to me. I cannot wait to grow up but I want to be twenty-three forever. I earned my place here, but there were factors conspiring to help. We all deserve to be here, but none of us do.

The light on cross campus falls differently in the eyes of Sonia, Julie, Yixuan, Jacob, Marc, Josh, Rachel. Our bodies fold in different ways under the sun. The trick is to see all the universes in this one, including those that are very different from us. And to realise that as much as these universes are next to us, open to us, they remain wholly separate from us, impenetrable to us. We can behold them, come close to them, even enter them, yet never fully be inside of them. Yet I hope we never lose our ability to imagine these universes that are other to our own, to get lost in their unknowable mystery, to give into their gravitational pull and to find ourselves in their orbit.

[televinita]

Zoo 3.04

Why is this show burning Utica to the ground.

[Side note: this unwieldy post is the product of me doing a skip-through when this episode aired, watching maybe 15 random minutes from beginning to end, writing the part up to the line with the music notes, and finally watching the full episode only to work myself into a swampy mess of partially adjusted feelings once I had all the facts. I hope it is moderately less confusing to follow than this explanation]

A list of ways the show failed me on this outing and, now that I think about it, probably subconsciously contributed to my subsequent abandonment.

1. Continued the reign of Super Jamie, the most boring zealot ever to zeal 2. Set up a weird Madonna/Whore Villain complex with all of its female characters 3. Deeply underwhelmed re: fireworks on the kiss they built up to for nearly two damn years. 4. Pit Jamie and Jackson against each other Me in July: I don't even know which one I am maddest about but I'm pretty sure it's the last one. You know what screw it, I'm gonna flamethrower my OTP and just full steam ahead into the realm of slash. If Jamie can't play nice enough with either of the men I need her to love then I'm gonna toss her out of the equation and make Mitch/Jackson my new fave.

I have been suppressing the desire to run with this since last year, because canon is always superior, I hardly ever slash anyway, and I like to save the non-canon shipping feels for when the canon runs out and I need a new hit of an old love, but whatever. My fondness for the bromance has become epic enough to drop the b. Or replace the b. ♫Confident in bisexuali-tay!♫

[Edit: As you move forward, keep in mind that I spoiled myself a tad on episode 8, probably subconsciously because I needed a reason to push me over the rage hump, and while I am still gonna air my original grievances, I am also still on the Mitch/Jamie train]

------------ AUGUST GRIEVANCE THREE: Not good enough! *whip* So. I happily spoiled myself on the stills for this episode before it aired, which included both kiss scenes, and my heart shot the moon. Then I saw them in context and my heart fell into the basement. My reaction was a lot of "you had TWO OFF-SEASONS TO NOT SCREW THIS UP HOW DID YOU SCREW THIS UP," followed by creating this post that I really should have just posted at the time, but I waited too long, so now it is only a storyboard artifact:

I just...I wanted it to be a bigger moment. Or I at least wanted to feel more. I felt twenty times more emotion from their reunion hug in 2x05, or one stupid handhold on the beach, than I did for the most significant moment they've had since season 1, and that is not the way it should be. I'm still having a really hard time coming up with why it wasn't saved for the end of the episode, or why the kiss wasn't introduced at the beginning, interrupted by a Panic Plot, and then resolved in a Thank God We're Alive way. As for the hookup part, well, some people express their feelings through song; I am much better at expressing mine through snarky recap:

Update y'all, they did in fact go bang. In the middle of the day. And then got redressed and continued the plot because who would want their characters to have nice things like a whole night together for their first time when they could instead toss it off as casual "anyway lol thanx for the afternoon delight buddy, now hang on I gotta go do a murder."

I don't even need them to make a big emotional deal out of things; clearly they are both people who are very fine with hookups, but the fact that the most epic reunion was popped off in the early middle part of the episode just to set up that Jamie will put Her Cause before everything did not sit well with me. I still wanna know what was the point of separating them for 10 years before they ever got together if their reunion wasn't going to be the focal point. If you're gonna be like this, literally nothing would have been changed by eliminating the love triangle and letting them be together in season 2. I think and hope that most people really liked this scene, though, and more power to you if you did. I think I watched it wrong. G.3 TAKE TWO The thing is, I did watch it wrong. I delayed posting this by an extra day because it really bugged me that I didn't love the kiss. I watched it 8 times trying to pinpoint where the bottom fell out, because I definitely appreciate that Mitch finally got to talk to Jamie at the bar without her running away. I liked him answering honestly about how he's doing post-op, I liked him directly confronting her about her dark turn, and what is left? I hypothesized that maybe "How about now?" just didn't feel like enough segue to kissing. I hypothesized that maybe it wasn't the words but the body language; leaning across from two separate chairs is kinda awkward. But anyone knows that if you watch a thing you want to like enough times, you brainwash yourself into liking it, so guess who is now on board with this moment. Somewhere between my sitting close enough to the computer to notice the emotion in Mitch's face, Jamie's right hand covering his, how much I love his hand on her face, and the swelling orchestral score that reminds me of the Will/Elizabeth beach scene in Pirates of the Caribbean...I stumbled into the promised land of shipper joy. I've even convinced myself to like the very phrase I thought was not good enough. Mitch has previously gone big and gone home alone. So this time it is the smallest possible overture with no expectations attached -- and score. I am still annoyed about the pacing and Jamie's abrupt departure post-bedroom, though. ----------------------- GRIEVANCE TWO: Why do you want us to hate women? Serious question how is that any woman who isn't the literal blessed mother Clementine is cold, calculating and/or pure evil? Like, I'm not saying that I would not normally be all on board with a team of mercenary lesbians, but when both evil fronts are also personified by power-hungry women and Jamie's ends justify all means and a mother is selling someone else's kid then...like...to take a Chandler Bing quote completely out of context: WHERE are ALL the MEN?? We're talking about reproductive rights. If the political side of Tumblr has led me to believe anything, it's that men are all about controlling that. (Looks like they show up in the next installment, tho.) ------------------------- GRIEVANCE FOUR (again): Jamie/Jackson Why don't you just stab me through the heart with a hybrid horn. I hope everybody has been whispering to each other like "who's gonna tell her?" / "Not me I don't wanna be there when Televinita's hopes and dreams for the backstory of her fave wayward ship get blown to kingdom come; I heard she threatens to perform brain surgery on people with power drills." Now, to be fair, I have spent weeks in a state of rage thinking that Jamie sold him out on purpose to further her vengeance quest, because in my patchy scene-jumping I missed the important part where she tried to protect them all with pseudonyms. My feathers have de-ruffled considerably.

I'm just...still annoyed. That there is this much bad blood after that amazing scene in 2x13 where he sat on the steps with her and held her while she cried, and I wrote beautiful analysis no one ever saw about them matching heartbreak for heartbreak, the widow and widower of this war.

in case u need a reminder

AND YOU JUST DESTROYED MY HOPE OF THEM BEING PLATONIC LIFE PARTNERS FOR YOUR SHODDY PLOT NEEDS?!, I WILL MURDER YOU. (well, I'll get my dino-vultures to come after you. Guys, I might be having a problem where Abigail is becoming my hero and I want to join her? I think I'm watching it wrong again...)

----------

GRIEVANCE ONE: canceled.

I had so much more rage about Jamie the Assassin before I sneaked a peek at episode 5's plot and was assured she did not actually go out and do a murder**. Prior to that I was 'bout to drop Jamie into a volcano myself. Plus Mitch does get in some good shots at Logan while they're running around Reiden Tower, so on second viewing this is a lot more fun.

**To be clear, I have been consciously using this phrase in reference to Trelkez'sIn Secret macro recap (spoilers for that movie), which I have not stopped laughing at.

NON-GRIEVANCES

* Props to the prop department for the dead vulture hybrid.

* "Pizza" is even better than Henry. Do you think he will ultimately have a more significant role to play than Henry, or is he just there to look cute? (I have no problem with him just being there to look cute.)

* I got a giggle out of Mitch's "the vigilante thing? Kinda workin' for me," because it would.

* My favorite part of this entire episode, though, is Mitch and Jackson coming to an agreement that they need to keep an eye on Jamie, just because it reminds me of one of the few things I like about Mitch/Jamie in season 2. Even though I know there is soon-to-be-revealed irony afoot in Jamie being the problem here.

[grilledkatniss]

(Can I ask you a question..?) do you believe in love at first sight? Do you have a favorite fairytale? What would you try if you knew you would fail?

(did u ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room..?)

I do not and never will believe in love at first sight. Maybe a connection at first meet.

I don't think I have a favorite fairytale. I believe I don't even know that many, honestly. U.u

Lol join the military probably. It'd force me into a very healthy routine and a very disciplined work ethic just to meet the basic requirements but I'm above the max age limit for signing up (apparently we have that), and it's not like I'm ever gonna really meet the physical requirements either.

Very negative answers today

[grilledkatniss]

is there a band/musician you recommend to everyone? Do you think you’re a good driver? Do you have a favorite word?

One thing about me is I'll always be urging people to give Paloma Faith a listen, and the band Kaleo as well. Two completely different genres and sounds and vibes but holy crap they're so worth it. They're a dream.

No. I haven't convinced my dad to let me borrow the car to practice enough to confidently take my driver's test. He won't let me even go to the bakery down the road in the car. But then he complains he's the householdsl's chauffeur. Like, make it make sense, grandpa.

I don't think I have a favorite one but the word quintessential is way up there. If there ever was a top 10 fave words for me, that one's gotta make the cut.

[grilledkatniss]

(It’s time for quirky questions with Julie!) what’s your favorite decade? How to you feel about your birthday? If someone offered to run a presidential campaign for you today would you run?

Favorite decade... I'd say the 80s in mostly every aspect.

My birthday is quite meh. I try to never make a big deal out of it, cause I'm usually alone during that day. Might buy myself some cake or something.

I would absolutely not run for president, not today, not ever. I barely can run my own laundry machine.

[grilledkatniss]

(It’s time for some questions….)Do you like spicy food? Describe your country in five words or less (not using its name). given the opportunity would you climb a tree today?

I enjoy spicy food, but not when the spice eclipses the taste of the rest of whatever it is I'm eating, and if I'm low key trying not to cry, then I'm not enjoying it at all. If it's too spicy it numbs my mouth, again, not enjoying it. If the "taste" is "spicy" then I will probably not enjoy it. Spicy tomato, yes. Hot sauce made of like chili peppers and bell peppers and different sort of peppers.. and tomato? Probably, yes. When the source of spice is unidentifiable and it's just like a processed homogeneous powder based red/orange shart looking thingy, then no, not even with tomato in it.

----

Oh boy, let's see. We're gonna have to pretend sentences with no punctuation are one single word.

1.Mate.

2.Football.

3.Never-ending economic crisis and a monthly inflation rate of over 12% (it's actually closer to 20).

4.Often doesn't identify as a Latino country even though it is indisputably located in Latin America/Italian accented Spanish/sometimes called the Paris of LATAM because of it eurocentric architecture.

5.Gets branded as a racist country because of the lack of black (African/easily identifiable percentage of African descendance) representation, when in fact our racism is aimed instead towards brown skin colored people (mostly easily identifiable stereotypical Latin American/South Asian).

(not much to be proud of about this country other than Messi..did I give it away? We have 3world cups and chant olÉ olé olé olé in all stadium shows.)

----

Mmmaybe not today, it just started to rain.

[grilledkatniss]

(it’s question time with Julie!) Was math created or discovered? butterflies, bumble bees or dragon flies? Is fate a real thing?

Math was created. It's not a thing you find in nature, it doesn't predate us. It's humanity-born, we willed it into existence and it only exists because of us, and it exists first inside our heads. It's another abstraction. But at the end of the day reality is basically just abstractions and electromagnetism if you think about it. But wait, electromagnetism is in itself a concept as well. So reality is literally just abstractions... does that mean nothing was real before we showed up? Isn't that the same type of logic as 'if a tree falls in the middle of a forest but there's no one around to hear it, does it make any sound at all?' What?

Butterflies but at at least an arm's length distance. They're creepy up close.

No, I don't think so. Fate is a plot device in my opinion. (But isn't that another abstract concept that adds its grain of salt into the weavings of reality, which makes it real? Reality is abstractions but not all abstractions are part of it? I need a nap)

[grilledkatniss]

What reminds you of home?(not the house, just things that remind you of the feeling) Do you believe in astrology? Now, say three nice things about yourself.

Don't think I have a home or some feeling I associate with home. I have like.. idk a few moments in time when things felt just right and I guess I felt safe and healthy and loved and normal, like a small period of time before middle school, and that's probably why I don't remember much of it but get a sense of comfort and simplicity. Like as if there was a right way to do childhood. Some smells and tastes and sounds take me back there. The summer mostly. But there's no specific place to be reminded of. Come to think of it maybe like summer camp or my aunts house when we'd travel there during most summer vacations, before it got too expensive to afford for 2 grumpy adults and 3 no longer toddlers. Like the smell of gasoline reminds me of being in my aunts car with my sisters and my cousin coming back from the mall where they painted whiskers on our faces bc they were doing promo for some local children's movie we couldn't afford tickets for.

I don't believe in astrology but I love constellations and a clear night sky far away from the city lights. I actually have been sleeping on my parents backyard these last few days just so that I could fall to sleep looking at the stars. There was also supposed to be a meteor shower going on this week but didn't see any meteor showering anywhere. When I was in high school and depression and anxiety weren't real words in anyone's vocabulary in a small conservative town for a lonely awkward mopey girl, there was one star I named Lauren that I'd always be eager to see and talk to. I'd be like "it's the second shiniest star on that side, far removed from the rest and the moon". It didn't occurred to me till years after that like... the earth rotates on itself and also around the sun, and the moon around us as well, while outter space "stays put" (it doesn't either) so of course the star wouldn't be in the same place all year round and couldn't use the moon as a reference point.. and I legit would cry when I couldn't find it. But also like up till the second year of college I thought the moon being right on top of you meant it was midnight, like the same logic as with the sun so feel free to judge my dumb ass.

I'm mostly always well intentioned, and empathetic but in a weird logical way. Like someone having x feelings and x reactions makes sense to me in x context taking into account x precedent and x experience etc, you know what I mean? I don't tend to get caught up in my own feelings anymore.. no one but my ex can really say I'm a mean person and mean it. (But he can go fuck himself, acting like Ryan Gosling's character in the second half of the notebook, absolute victim of neglect and accusing me of breaking his heart for sport, the manipulative lil shit). Let's say those are three different unrelated nice things about me.

[grilledkatniss]

(It’s time for obscure questions with Julie!) Are you sunlight, moonlight, or starlight? What’s your favorite article of clothing? Buttons, zippers, or velcro?

All of the above at the exact same time but differently regarding each item (?). We're all made out of stardust 🌌🌐✨ and sunlight cause we misphotosynthesize and turn grey green without it (🧌🧟??) And moonlight cause it affects the tides and we're 70% water 🤽🤌🏻🤌🏻👀👀 (don't really know how to interpret this one, I'm nolight antilight)

Love overalls. With passion. Fucking adorable and so many pockets omg. Used to love dress shirts just bc I liked wearing them open and with a tank top underneath. High wasted mom jeans for the win. Hate skintight stuff.

Buttons!!! Cause you can button up half the shirt for example. Or just the middle button of the rain coat. And they're cuteee it's such a cute word butn

[grilledkatniss]

(It’s time again for obscure questions with Julie!) skinny jeans or baggy jeans? What’s your favorite month? Do you have a favorite place?

Baggy jeans forever and always. Skinny jeans are a curse upon humanity. Fuck whoever installed that trend while I was in middle school all throughout and till the very end of highschool. Godfuckingdamnitihateyousomuch.

Favorite month is probably October. Love me some Halloween themed candy stores and monster mash playing in the background. And it's not too hot out, but also not that cold either. Perfect month.

Favorite place... I'm not sure. There's this spot I used to really like walking up to, a small lil hillside dirt road near the bottom of the mountain that's a few blocks above my parents house. It used to be mostly just weeds and flowers and rocks and dirt, but had this amazing view of the entire city (or at least most of it, it's still not high up enough for one to be able to see some of the left end of the valley), and when the sun's setting it's behind the mountains across the valley, and at night it's all lit up and pretty. I think it's the perfect spot to go watch the New Years fireworks. But some years back they started building shit up there and now it's a residential area. So I walked up that little hillside road yesterday and ended up basically on someone's lawn. Bummer.

[grilledkatniss]

(It’s time for obscure asks with Julie!) what are your favorite and least favorite parts of the holiday season? If you could have coffee with one person, dead or alive, who would it be? What is your current favorite lyric?

I love the energy surrounding the holidays and all the hype, like the act of decorating and the stores going all thematic, and playing some Michael Buble in the car, making the most epic personalized Christmas playlist with my sister on Spotify, the smell of trying out new cold holiday inspired recipes, cinnamon on everything.. but I hate the lack of organization around the "where are we gonna be spending which dinner, who's gonna be in attendance" type of ish that doesn't get resolved until the very last few hours, the anxiety of leaving the dogs alone and worrying to death when the fireworks start, the fact that no one does presents cause there are no kids around anymore, the getting back home feeling let down bc of expectations you didn't even notice you deep down still had. Love the emptying everyone's glass bit tho.

If I could have coffee with anyone I'd wonder why on earth would they agree to have coffee with me. For fantasy utopic purposes let's say I take an un-awkwardifying pill and am able to be chill and talkative and able to structure sentences appropriately and don't get tongue twisted and- it might probably be Elizabeth Olsen maybe. She has just such a wise calm young aunt aura about her idk. I'd ask her about filmmaking and directing and scriptwriting from the actors perspective. How the above can help and work with them actors towards achieving the best performance and the optimal take. And also ask from a producer's pov while we're at it.

Mmm lately I hadn't been able to get the song Forever Winter out of my head. Idk if it's something about a specific line or.. cause like the lyrics got nothing on The Lakes, for example. It's not her greatest bestest feat of songwriting but it's just printed on the inside of my skull. "Faking smiles and neverminds" "spends most of his flights getting pulled down by gravity". It's so raw idk

[grilledkatniss]

(It’s time for art questions with Julie:) Can you draw? Do you have a favorite painting(that you did or someone else) do you prefer digital or traditional art? Do you have a favorite album cover?

I can draw. I used to draw all the time, like I wanted to make a living out of it. I was so so serious about it. But then I hurt my wrist flipping a bed and for 7 years didn't go get it checked cause I'm stupid and thought it was nothing, just a bit of a pinchy pain from time to time... and then had to have surgery on it and the muscle got all atrophic because covid kept me from starting the recovery physical therapy treatment at the right time yada yada

I can draw, but way less than what I used to and what I'd like to currently be able to.

I don't think I have a favorite painting. Neither mine nor in general. (It's easier to just say that than to start searching for and sorting through old drawings and lone paintings I might still have stored somewhere in either my parents house or in a dusty folder back at my apartment.) I once painted a dumb purple minion bc my class had decided that was gonna be our mascot during our last high school year, and we were supposed to get a flag for it. It was a thing at our school. They didn't like my design for the big flag so while they had some guy paint one and charge the whole group for a huge crappy doodle, I made my own smaller flag. But then they liked mine better, but it was small and didn't have everyone's name on it like they had the hired guy do on the big one so they kept me from using it at all. One of my best friends has it. She had it up on display in her bedroom, up till a few years ago when she took down her "I miss high school, best time ever" shrine. ... you didn't ask about any of that though lmao

Traditional, cause I still can't appropriately master the digital format. Got myself a digital tablet but haven't been able to use it much other than for a college thing. I like it when I can see the power behind each stroke, like the sharpness of the pencil and the rawness in it. Digital is tidy and clean and very very pleasing to the eye, and you have more options and different configurations and stuff but the rawness that will always date back to that specific moment in time is just- not as palpable and explicit.

No favorite album cover. At least not that I can think of right now.