#uk lolitics

[milipeach]

i made this stupid meme. i feel like this is true though.

[to-the-starlit-west]

like a mild and patient prisoner / pecking through granite with a teaspoon

Tom Paulin, Of Difference Does It Make

if you can't tell, it's keir starmer (uk pm) and simon harris (taoiseach of ireland)

[ministerforpeas]

Hunger Games: Chancellor Battle Royale

Get ready for another edition of the Hunger Games! This time with various Chancellors of the Exchequer (and some Shadow Chancellors cuz why not).

Who will win the honour of being the best Chancellor?

[wonderstruckjewel]

the only iconic thing about the ge 2024 announcement is things are getting better playing as rishi sunak announces that the ge is set for july 4th

[ministerforpeas]

SO REAL OF HIM

Ed Miliband saying ‘Oh for fuck’s sake’

[motleystitches]

UK Lolitics and AI

Once upon a time, in the year 2010, a coalition government formed in the UK, and at the same time, probably in the Rose Garden, the UK lolitics fandom came spontaneously into being (mostly on Livejournal, some vids on Youtube). If Fandom is always a critique on Canon, there's no better example than UK lolitics fandom, where G to NC-17 and everything from murder mystery to steampunk AU fics were written anonymously in very long fic threads in the lj comm with the tagline "WE ARE CREEPY, BUT WE FEEL QUITE BAD ABOUT IT." Arguably, it's essentially a Fandom of Satires.

I mention this now because the main pairing at the time were the central figures of the central coalition government. Let's keep to the spirit of Anon and not name names, but "Clameron" was actually a thing. And somehow, in the way where chaos will always return order due to human need for narratives, at the time, a "Canon" emerged from RPS of literally, the highest order, that's one third Realpolitks, one third fandom fantasies, and a third of what turned out to be semi-prophetic musings of the fandom.

Never mind that Boris actually became PM, it seems that now one half of the pairing has retired, the other instead of fading into obscurity as once upon a time real-life might've been predicted, he's SELLING FACEBOOK AI TO DEFENSE COMPANIES.

I am very tempted, at this point, to go back and find the cyberpunk plot where there was, indeed, futuristic weapon trading, if only to reassure myself that it's only a story, the world won't end. A fandom cannot be a Cassandra. It's just confirmation bias. After all, unique among all the fandoms of the 2000s, and 2010s, it was a fandom built solely to deal with dread (by being creepy)

[misspeppermint2003]

⭐️ Weekly Fandom Vote (Round 5) ⭐️

[libdeminomenon]

[unit-teamaker]

Clearly Kemi Badenoch and the other tories were conspiring against JRM and his sandwiches from the start.

Or maybe she couldn't prove her family were residents in the UK for the past 10 generations and the sting of the sandwich rejection put her off in the first place...

‘Please,’ Rees-Mogg says. 'Have a sandwich.’

You hesitate. 'I’m not hungry.’

'Please have a sandwich,’ Rees-Mogg says. It isn’t mere politeness; there’s something desperate in his voice. 'I cannot eat all these sandwiches by myself.’

The room is full of people. 'I’m sure there’s someone else who can—’

'Have a sandwich,’ Rees-Mogg says. He slips off his chair, gets onto his knees in front of you. You take a step back in alarm. 'I’ve asked. There’s nobody else.’

'All right,’ you say, unsettled. 'Thank you.’ You reach for a sandwich.

He stops you with a hand on your arm.

'I’m delighted you’d like a sandwich,’ he says. His eyes bore into yours. 'You are entitled to a sandwich if you can prove that your family has been resident in the UK for the last ten generations.’

You jerk your arm out of his grasp. 'I can’t do that.’

Rees-Mogg starts to cry. He slumps back into the chair and begins to eat the sandwiches. There are so many sandwiches, and he eats all of them, crying.

'Nobody can help me,’ he whispers through a mouthful of ham.

[milipeach]

hi… im back again!!

[mullomohiam]

Can some photoshop the Edstone so it has the hate monologue from I have no mouth and I must scream on it

[ministerforpeas]

Prat Out of Hell with better quality.

[ministerforpeas]

HE'S SO CUTE I LOVE HIMMMM 😭

what the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little owenite? i’ll have you know i was elected for peebles representing the liberal party, and i’ve been involved in numerous ill-advised photo ops with baby livestock and battlebuses, and i have over 300 confirmed pro-choice bills. i am trained in gorilla knitwear and i’m the top statesman in the entire merged liberal democrats. you are nothing to me but just another roy jenkins. i will wipe you the fuck out with proportional representation the likes of which has never been seen before on this earth, mark my fucking words. you think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the despatch box? think again, thatcher. as we speak i am contacting my secret network of adorable rodents across the uk and your fishing boat is being capsized right now so you better prepare for the storm, healey. the storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your lib-lab pact. you’re fucking dead, callaghan. i can be anywhere, anytime, and i can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my jumpers. not only am i extensively trained in anti-thorpe combat, but i have access to the entire arsenal of my stripy shirt collection and i will use it to its full extent to merge your miserable social democratic party off the face of the continent, you little shit. if only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “anti-alliance” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. but you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn kinnock. i will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. you’re fucking dead, david owen.

[gaylittlebillionaires]

thinking about how one of my best friends from school joined the oxford conservative association solely to take the piss and then stayed in it (despite openly being a labour supporter) because “everyone is gay and they throw absolutely wild parties” while the oxford labour club mostly just consists of in-fighting (everyone is also gay though.) they also said that everyone in both societies are absolutely awful people. and i feel like all of that is a fairly accurate microcosm of british politics.

[thedinosaurprince]

RIP two jags

[justloliticsthings]

it's been five years since i dropped a textpost but you know what they say, i come back stronger than a 90's trend (aka nulab are having a resurgence)