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httpiastri · 3 months ago

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more than enough – jmm21

you hate your birthday, but pepe is determined to change your mind.

genre: fluff/a little angsty/comfort

pairing: reader x college!pepe marti, ft christian mansell and sebastian montoya

warnings: uhhh anxiety and such ?? idk

word count: 2.6k

author's note: just like last year, this is merely a very self-indulgent birthday gift to myself (and a bit of a late birthday gift for a friend on here who confided in me about not liking their birthday either), so sorry if you don't relate but i needed to write this for myself despite how painful it was. not happy with how it turned out but, i had to get it out of my system. <3 (also not proofread because i will freak out likely aaaaa)

this is mostly a standalone fic but ig it kinda works as college!pepe so i put that there. i got this idea at my mom's birthday back in march but never actually wrote it until this last week... also loosely based on a tiktok that really spoke to me.

also! this doesn't really work with the headcanon of pepe, seb and chris all sharing an apartment, but i wanted it this way. i also wasn't comfortable including gaby or hermes, so i used the names nora and emma for seb's and chris's respective gfs. :)

"why didn't you tell me your birthday is next week?"

the question is innocent enough, only borderline accusing, but something tightens in your stomach nonetheless. you don't look up from the pot in your hand, however, instead continuing to scrub it with your dishbrush like it's no big deal. "who told you that?"

pepe chuckles as he makes his way over to your side, leaning against the counter as he looks at you. "emma," he tells you, crossing his arms over his chest. "going to answer my question now?"

"i must've forgotten to tell you."

"oh, come on..." your boyfriend shakes his head. "is there a reason i wasn't allowed to know? did i do something? do you not trust me? am i-"

"pepe," you say, his name followed by a sigh as you look over to him in hopes of stopping his rambling. "it's nothing personal."

"what is it, then?" he presses, eyes following your hands as they begin to rinse the pot he'd cooked your pasta in just a couple hours ago. "why don't you want to tell me?"

you take a deep breath, shrugging your shoulders before turning off the tap. "i just... i'm not a big fan of my birthday."

the biggest understatement of the year.

you hate your birthday.

for a number of reasons, really. some to do with your family and childhood; many to do with your own inner thoughts and feelings.

you hate how it reminds you of every bad birthday you had as a kid. you hate how it makes you hopeful that people will remember and congratulate you, because you hate how painful it is when they don't. you hate how you always get reminded of how little people seem to care, and how they always prioritize themselves even on what's supposed to be your day.

it's too much of a mess to explain to him right now – maybe, hopefully, one day you'll have the energy and courage to go through it all.

you hadn't forgotten to tell pepe; you had just been silently hoping he wouldn't address it, and that everyone else would forget, too. but apparently, you have a snitch in your friend group. "what do you mean?" pepe asks.

"i'd much rather not celebrate it." you place the pot on the drying rack, wiping your hands on your towel hanging by the stove before turning to him. "a lot of stuff regarding my birthday just makes me really upset. if i could, i'd just... make it disappear, honestly."

your eyes flicker to the floor, fingers nervously fiddling with the sleeve of your shirt. he can tell you don't want to get into it, and he won't push you. instead, he opens his arms wide, taking a step forward. you accept the offer instantly, arms wrapping around his waist as he pulls you close.

the air in your little dorm room isn't as thick as you had expected it to be when telling him all of this – but at the same time, you aren't surprised. pepe has always had a way of grounding you, making everything seem a bit easier. "i can't make it completely disappear, i think," he says, placing his chin on top of your head. "but i can pretend for you."

you hum contently, letting your eyes close for a few moments. "that would be great."

he remains quiet for a couple of seconds, but then he can't stop himself from talking again. "do you really not want anything? no party? you threw me that party for my birthday, i'd feel guilty not doing anything back."

"i did it because you had a fun time and you like those things, and because i enjoyed planning it. but i was really hoping i could skip all that," you answer, pulling away ever so slightly to look up at him with a sheepish expression. "i would honestly rather have dinner with you, emma, nora, sebas, chris... maybe get some takeout from that new indian place down the road?"

to pepe's ears, you sound more than just a tiny bit crazy – but your being so different from him is one of the things that attracted him in the first place. he nods, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. "whatever you say, love."

"where did your girl go?" emma asks the second pepe slumps into a free seat by the cafeteria table.

your boyfriend shoots a glance over his shoulder back to the serving line before setting his plate down. "they were out of rice so she's just waiting for a new batch," he says with a shrug.

"okay then, let's be quick before she gets here," emma speaks up again. "what are we doing for her birthday? it's just a few days away, but i think we can pull something off."

"me and seb were talking about throwing her a surprise party," nora says, looking over at sebastian who's nodding excitedly.

pepe, however, lets out a dismissive sound and swats the air with his hand. "no, forget about that," he says, stuffing a spoonful of pasta into his mouth. "she doesn't want any of that."

nora snorts. "what? of course she does."

"you know, pepe," emma counters, eyebrows raised at the spaniard. "every girl will tell you that she doesn't want a surprise party. don't bother, i don't care, you don't have to do all that for me! but in reality, we're all secretly craving it."

pepe considers her words for a few moments; maybe there is some truth in them after all. maybe all you did was try to act modest, to put the idea in his head so he would make the right choice.

but you weren't the one to bring up the subject – he was. he remembers clearly how you were doing your very best to avoid talking about your birthday at all, and the memory of how tough of a subject it seemed like to you is still etched into his mind. he thinks you were so brave to confide in him like that, and so he needs to stand up for you. he can't dishonor your trust.

"trust me, guys. she really doesn't want it." he ignores the groans of the people around him, taking a few sips of his water before continuing. "can't we all just grab some dinner on saturday instead? maybe that new indian place?"

"works for me," christian joins in. "how about presents, then?"

"right, are we all buying something together, or separate gifts?" emma fills in.

pepe shakes his head yet again. "i don't think she wants that, either." his words are followed by a long silence, which makes him unable to hold back a chuckle. "just paying for the food should be enough."

nora sighs dramatically, the palms of her hands pressing into the sides of her face. "and i'm supposed to just trust you, huh?" she asks and pepe merely shrugs, focusing back on his food. "hope you're not messing with us here, marti."

"i have no idea what he said, but he usually is," your voice spreads through the group as you finally take a seat at the table. "fill me in and i'll help you decide if he's just being annoying."

"i was just telling them about what mr. peterson said yesterday," pepe says quickly. "about what he'll do to everyone who fails the exam."

you throw your head back laughing, nodding instantly. "oh my god, that was hilarious. so, it started with someone on the front row asking about..."

pepe loves birthdays. his own, too, but mostly he finds himself looking forward to his friends' birthdays and longing to celebrate the important people in his life. he loves picking out gifts, planning celebrations, and making sure everything is perfect. it just comes naturally for him to be caring and detailed in that way.

but while pepe eagerly awaits your birthday, you couldn't even come close to feeling the same way.

most years, you spend the weeks leading up to your birthday dreading it, and the day of your birthday crying, because your birthday reminds you of everything you try to forget year-round.

pepe wants to make the day perfect for you, but he also obviously doesn't want to do too much. it's a hard task, but he's set on making it work – and the first step is getting a cake.

his first thought was to get you something huge, something to properly convey what he thinks you deserve and how much he loves you. though, it didn't take long for him to realize that something like that would be way too much for you. instead, he settled on a more basic yellow cake with some kind of white coating that the lady in the bakery recommended to him, and dropped by the grocery store near campus to buy sprinkles and a bunch of candles.

the end product is a little messy, but created with so much love, and pepe knows you're going to adore it. what he doesn't know is how he managed to keep you away from his refrigerator and the surprise hiding in it all night yesterday, but it doesn't matter – all that matters is that you're currently still sleeping soundlessly in his bed, with no clue of what's going on over in the kitchen.

pepe's hands are trembling slightly as he lights up the candles; he is a little nervous, he will admit, but he's also excited at the same time. he can't wait to see the look of surprise on your face, so he hurries up and places the cake on a tray along with two cups of coffee.

he silently curses at the way his bedroom door creaks when he pushes it open with his foot, but thankfully you don't move a single muscle. he carefully scoots over to the side of the bed, sitting down next to you and balancing the tray in his lap. he reaches over with one hand to your cheek, thumb tracing along your skin, fingers settling under your jaw. "mi amor," he whispers, a soft hum leaving his lips as he watches your eyelids slowly flutter open. "happy birthday."

it takes a few moments for your eyes to adjust to the sunshine lighting up the room, but when they do, they can't help but focus on him. the goofy grin on his lips, the messy hair, the-

the cake on his lap.

you push yourself up to sit in bed, rubbing some sleep out of your eyes. you're mistaken, surely? you're still half-asleep, you must've imagined it...

but no amount of blinking makes the cake disappear. the little flames of the candles swaying in the air, the single drop of stearic rolling down the side of a candle, the rainbow sprinkles sticking to the top and sides of the cake – it's all very real.

pepe was so sure this was the right way to go. but seeing the tears begin to seep out of the corners of his eyes makes him horrified. he messed up.

he knew the sprinkles would be too much. and that amount of candles, what was he thinking? he definitely went overboard.

"oh my god," he says, instantly placing the tray on the bedside table before scooting closer to you. "i'm so so so sorry, i thought you would like it... i don't know what i was thinking. here, let me-"

you shake your head as he begins brushing away your tears with his thumbs, and to his big surprise, you chuckle. "don't be sorry," you say, letting out another laugh when you see the confused expression on his face. "i do like it. a lot." you reach up to take his hands in yours, bringing them down to the bed and intertwining your fingers. "it's just... very emotional, for me. as you can see."

he also chuckles now, and he thinks he understands – even though seeing your happy tears is more painful than he'd expected. "okay," he says with a nod. "so..." his eyes flicker back to the cake.

"yes, please. i mean, what could be better than a sugar rush first thing in the morning?"

pepe would've been so happy to shower you with presents to express how much he loves you; it would've made him so proud to invite all your friends to a big celebration, to show you how much you mean to all of them, to change your idea of a birthday. but this – sitting together in bed, eating straight from the cake (no plates needed), pressing sugary kisses to each other's cheeks – is another form of perfect.

he just hopes you think it's perfect, too.

hearing you tell the stories of how you needed to bake the cake for yourself if you wanted one as a child, how you always made sure to buy yourself a gift because the risk that no one else would get you one was too high, and how you always needed to plan out your own parties breaks his heart – but hearing you open up like that also means the world to him. he understands that it's all buried so deep inside of you, but there's nothing he wants more than to help you heal and to prove that you can have much better and bigger birthdays than that.

but for now, a little cake in bed and a ton of kisses will have to do.

baby steps.

"chris, will you pass me the chicken korma?"

he leans over the crowded couch table and holds out the takeaway box to nora, who takes it into her hands and thanks him. "that one is really good," you tell her through your mouthful of bread, nodding to your friend.

"what's the verdict, then?" sebastian asks from his seat over on the couch. "i need a rating from the birthday girl, one to ten."

"food? ten," you say, taking a sip of your soda. "company? ten."

birthday? eleven.

the whole day has been much better than you'd expected; from your wake-up this morning, to the lunch date you shared with pepe over in town after a cute walk along the river, to having your closest friends all gathered in your living room for you. you don't even mind the way your buttcheeks are already starting to hurt after sitting on the floor for too long – you knew you should've invested in more seating for moments like these – because all of this is worth it.

"agreed," pepe chimes in from next to you. "especially about the food."

"speaking of which," says emma. "was there any bread left?"

you're quick to jump to your feet, already turning towards the kitchen. "garlic or plain?"

"ooh, garlic! thank you!"

pepe hurries off the floor right after you, making up some excuse about getting a new spoon for one of the sauces, but no one even bats an eye. you hear him enter through the door, and you smile instinctively. "how are you feeling?" he asks when he reaches your side, hand finding the small of your back as you rummage through the takeaway bag. "is this all enough?"

"it's more than enough. so much more." after pulling out the garlic naan from the bag, you reach up to the side of his face with your free hand, brushing your thumb over his cheekbone. "best birthday ever."

you seal your words with a feather-light kiss to his lips, and he's still smiling when you pull away. "you promise?" he asks, eyes searching through yours for any slightest hint of insincerity or uncertainty.

"i promise." another kiss, followed by a gentle hum, and he visibly relaxes. "thank you."

"no, thank you." for opening up, for letting him do all this for you. for existing. "only happy birthdays from now on, okay? i will make sure of it."

"it could never be anything other than a happy birthday with you around."

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butchpeace · 12 days ago

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Hey, I am a new follower here and uhhh.. I just want to ask you how did you manage to get rid of your gender dysphoria?

I never did transition and probably never will be able to because it is illegal in the country I currently live in. But the gender dysphoria remained there for years (8) even if I accept the fact that I will never be able to change my sex, along with my homosexuality.

So maybe it is a difference in experience, with me not being able to experience the harmful placebo of the "right body", but seeing other people expressing how they got themselves cured of severe mental distress makes me wish I knew how to do that.

So, thats why I want to ask, what lead to the cure of gender dysphoria? If it is a correct way to put it.

I don’t know if you’re male or female, but I assume female?

It’s less about “getting rid” of dysphoria and more about understanding what “gender dysphoria” actually is. That differs from person to person, but for most people it’s a combination of things.

For me it was:

1) The pain of growing up female in a world that either treated me as inferior or objectified me. Plain old misogyny.

2) The pain of growing up gay in a homophobic religion and society. Being basically taught during childhood that I was fundamentally different and wrong did a number on my ability to love myself. I’m 33 and it wasn’t until recently that I had any kind of self love.

3) The confusion of growing up gender non-conforming. Not feeling like I could relate to my female peers, feeling like an outsider, never meeting anyone else like me or having any role models who I could see myself in. I didn’t have any kind of blueprint for what my life could be like as an adult - my only reference points for what life as a masculine lesbian would be were negative.

4) The constant anxiety of walking through the world as a gender non-conforming girl, and the way people treated me and acted around me. People don’t treat you well when you’re androgynous or clearly gay, and that led to anxiety and disliking being around people.

5) Feeling like I would be more lovable as a man, as it relates to relationship dynamics and gender roles.

Once I separated the feelings I was having from the idea of “gender dysphoria” as a stand-alone condition, I was able to see them individually for what they really are.

Those feelings were a normal response to being who I was in the world that I lived in.

Is my “gender dysphoria” cured? Depends how you look at it. Being female is still hard. Being a masculine lesbian is still hard. The way people look at me and treat me is still anxiety inducing. But none of that means I’m “supposed” to be a man, for some mystical reason that no one can scientifically explain. And I can work on improving things like my anxiety and self esteem individually.

To put it simply, being “trans” is the same thing as being butch. It’s all the same feelings women have always had, they’re just medicalizing it now instead of helping us learn to love ourselves. The only way to fix it is to build community, especially intergenerational community, and be with each other and be role models for each other.

Hope that helps! 🌈

#feminism #lesbian #detrans #trans #detransition #butch #radical feminism #radblr #ftm #actual lesbians

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madangel19 · 7 months ago

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Brownies

Thought of Phantom eating one too many of Swiss's weed brownies during 4/20 and had to write it down :D

Content: Recreational drug use, ghoul cuddles, poor Phantom doesn't know about the forever weed brownie

Word Count: 1078

A sweet earthy scent from the ghoul kitchen caught Phantom’s attention. He was laying in bed when it reached him and his stomach began to grumble. Were the ghoulettes cooking something? Cumulus’s cookies were always mouth watering but this didn’t smell like cookies. He had to investigate.

Phantom got out of bed and left his room, chittering softly. The smell was stronger now. It reminded him of Swiss and he smiled at the thought of him cooking something yummy. He didn’t cook often, but when he did, it was delicious.

Phantom poked his head around a corner and saw the empty kitchen. Nothing seemed too out of the ordinary, but he quickly spotted a tray of brownies on the counter. The smell was coming from there.

“Ooo brownies,” he crowed as he went over and looked the brownies over. The smell was strong, warm and earthy, reminding him of the few times he walked by Mountain’s greenhouse. They must have been taken out recently which meant they were still warm. Warm brownies were always the best.

Phantom looked around and saw that he was alone. He looked back at the brownies and saw there was more than enough for everyone. He could eat one or two or three or four. He carefully picked one up and smelled it again, sighing in content at the amazing scent.

He took a bite and he gasped at the slightly bitter taste. It didn’t last long before he bit down on gooey chocolate chips and he was in love. Fuck, it tasted amazing despite the brief bitterness. He shoved the rest of the brownie into his mouth and moaned as he chewed.

“Fuck, that’s good. One more,” he murmured, wiping his mouth before grabbing another brownie that was a lot bigger than the others.

Why didn’t anyone tell him that Swiss was making brownies? Was this supposed to be some kind of surprise? No, someone would have told him beforehand. This was probably Swiss being generous and making sweets for the pack.

Once he was finished eating the second brownie, he took a third and stepped away from the tray. Three was enough for now. He needed some milk after three brownies.

“Phantom?”

He froze, the third brownie halfway in his mouth. He slowly looked around and saw Swiss standing behind him. The multi ghoul looked at him and then at the tray of brownies and his eyes went wide with shock before he suddenly burst into laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Phantom asked, unsure of what was going on.

“Oh, Bug. How many brownies did you eat?” Swiss asked, wiping away tears from his eyes.

“Uhhh….three? There’s plenty for everyone so three felt like enough,” Phantom replied.

Swiss gasped despite the huge smile on his face. He shook his head and walked over to Phantom, throwing an arm around his shoulder.

“Oh, Bug. Sweet Bug. You’re in for it now,” Swiss crowed.

“Why? What’s wrong? Was I not supposed to eat the brownies?” Phantom asked, already feeling bad if they were meant for Papa or even the Clergy.

“Those are my strongest weed brownies, Bug. Mountain’s been growing a special strain and wanted me to bake them into brownies for the pack and anyone else who’s interested. Just one is enough to turn you into mush,” Swiss said, leading Phantom to the couch.

“Oh…Oh no…,” Phantom murmured.

“Hmm, I guess I should have left a warning note,” Swiss said, helping Phantom sit down.

“Yeah, you should have. Swiss…am I gonna be okay?” Phantom asked, looking up to the bigger ghoul for reassurance. He had been high with Swiss and the rest of the pack plenty of times, but he had never had an edible before.

Swiss chuckled and sat down next to him, tousling his dark hair. He could feel the faint tug of his quintessence putting him at ease and he let out a soft sigh while resting his head on his shoulder.

“You’ll be okay, Bug. You can just lay here and the rest of the pack will come along and we’ll all have brownies and watch stupid movies together and eat snacks,” Swiss said.

“That sounds nice,” Phantom replied, glad that he was safe. He wasn’t sure what he was going to feel soon, but as long as he was with his pack, then he was going to be fine.

One hour later

Dewdrop yawned as he made his way to the ghoul den. Swiss had been texting him all morning about his plans for the day and the mention of his famous brownies really got his attention. He had a long day and looked forward to relaxing with a brownie and a blunt.

He stopped when he saw the scene before him. Phantom was laid out on the couch, eyes droopy and a goofy smirk on his lips. His head was positioned in Swiss’s lap. Swiss lazily played with his hair while taking a drag from a blunt. The ghoulettes were piled on the floor in a giggly cuddle pile while cooing over Phantom. Rain and Mountain were seated in different arm chairs, looking absolutely blissed out.

“You guys got started before me?” Dewdrop asked.

“Phantom started first. Poor thing ate three brownies and now he’s in space,” Swiss purred, cupping the younger ghoul’s cheek and slowly rubbing his thumb along his skin. Phantom purred, grabbing his hand and nuzzling it.

“He’s so cute like this,” Aurora chimed.

“Mm...not cute,” Phantom murmured.

“You’re right. You’re adorable, Bug. You’re taking three brownies so well. Once you’re able to move in a few hours, you can take a hit of this,” Swiss said, showing him the blunt. Phantom reached for it and Swiss held it away, shaking his head with a playful smirk. The younger ghoul whined, but made no effort to move.

“Just wait a bit longer, darling,” Cumulus cooed while holding a chirping Aurora close to her chest.

“Are there any brownies left?” Dewdrop asked, his stomach rumbling. There were plenty of snack strewn about the den that made his mouth water.

“Of course. They’re in the fridge,” Mountain said.

Dewdrop nodded and went to get himself a brownie or two. After eating two brownies, he sighed and went to take his place in the cuddle pile with the ghoulettes.

“How many did you eat?” Cirrus asked after pulling him close.

“Two.”

“Perfect,” Swiss crowed.

“Yay,” Phantom cheered weakly before cuddling closer to Swiss.

#the band ghost #ghost band #nameless ghouls #phantom ghoul #swiss ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #nameless ghoulettes #cumulus ghoulette #cirrus ghoulette #aurora ghoulette #fanfiction #ghost fanfiction

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weirdmageddon · 5 months ago

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ok. let's finally talk about this thing i've been wanting to go public with for ages

so i am not a fan of needing THC to help me curb the embarrassment i have in being happy talking about my real realll special interests, because perceived rejection of my interests feels like rejection of myself since i put so much of myself (my time) into them. i anticipate rejection from others because the stuff i find myself occupied with is detached, abstract, highly technical, or niche, and i'm aware of the surrounding cultural assumptions. some of them, and the level at which i am in involved in understanding them, are really specialized or esoteric, so even opening up about them is like "fuuuck im gonna be made fun of or it’s gonna be too technical that they zone out and dont understand why this is so meaningful to me" ive even posted about that feeling before.

see if i start accumulating too much self-context made in my own mind without sharing it i start to feel more and more isolated from other people around me, that they’re not seeing the full extent of what im seeing myself. i don’t share it, because i fear rejection or superficial judgments in other people’s eyes (probably because it’s happened to me and i’ve seen it happen to others). but at the same time it has to be shared with more people around me or else i feel like i have an intestinal blockage in my mind. what happens is my mental colon explodes from all the shit accumulated over time and vou get a post like this. i’m sorry for that mental image btw. anyway back the point of this post

anything where i can systematize archetypes in real, everyday situations has always been my strong suit. so when people ask me my hobbies im like ... uhhh what am i supposed to say? i analyze stuff about the world and rotate it in my mind. when carl jung wrote there are “as many archetypes as there are typical situations in life” i know exactly what he was talking about.

i’ve been toeing the line to really talk about this thing for two years, so let me tell you about socionics. if you already know what im talking about i love you. if you don’t (or even if you do, keep reading there’s probably stuff you don’t know in here), it is part abstract cybernetic model, part jungian concepts, part philosophy of information exchange. it classifies how people communicate and exchange information. it was created in eastern europe in the late 70s, developed primarily in the 80s-90s by other authors and it’s been an endlessly fascinating, elegant, and reliable tool for me.

usually people dismiss personality typology systems because the mbti became so watered down and pop-culturally saturated that people seemed to collectively take a stance of not taking anyone that genuinely cares about it seriously, or at least that’s the impression i got.

(btw — i need to go on this brief rant — i will never forgive 16personalities for being the big five rebranded and people thinking it's mbti. 16personalities gives you your big five type. they explicitly state on their website that they don’t borrow any concepts from jung. -A and -T don’t exist in the mbti and correspond directly to low and high neuroticism respectively. i figured out myself they mapped each letter dichotomy to the other four measures on the big five: extraversion (I/E), conscientiousness (P/J), agreeableness (T/F), openness to experience (S/N). which is stupid and it’s false advertising. take 16p and a big five test see for yourself how they match up. your personal mbti type can be different from its correlated big five type. the actual mbti using jungian concepts as a base is alright though. oh, and the best neo-jungian mbti stuff is by far michael pierce’d takes on it. if you actually fw that heres a carrd i created a few years ago about the cognitive function axes.)

but i always end up going to the bottom of the iceberg in anything i get really into, and i basically integrate it into my own understanding of the world around me for a while. maybe it was because i had a bad experience genuinely talking about it a few years ago from some people who made superficial judgments about it that made me sort of quiet about my interest in typology systems. i assume it’s because myers and briggs used the tool towards racist ends; it acquired negative connotations, bullshit intuition supremacy, and left the study of psychological types tainted in the united states. even if the individual’s study of the system is neutral, unbiased, out of pure curiosity as a way to classify and relate different personality structures to each other, as was the case with me. in addition to 16personalities being an invalid “mbti” test that bought their way to the front page of google, and rampant superficial information at all levels of study, finding anyone who was into it like me was basically impossible. the reason i have a preferred interpretation of jungian + mbti concepts is because i’ve tried different ones on and sensed how well they conform to reality as a way of describing phenomenon, ditching old ones that werent as clear. michael pierce’s i’ve found are the closest to what i sense jung's intentions were. (actually quite likely this is something i would attribute to being because all three of us are types LIl (and also all infj too, how about that?) brain-to-brain communication LII (carl jung) to LII (michael pierce) to LII (me)). so i felt like michael pierce kept the things that worked in real life and ditched the things that didn’t, leaving behind his elegant integration of the concepts.

anyway, i was under the assumption that anything that could be mistaken for it—which socionics often is at a glance—would be dismissed out of hand, even though it’s entirely different. plus, there’s all the context i’d need to clarify about how “it’s different from the “fun” unserious pop-psych mbti and also absurdly more technical” and what's the point in doing that if they don't respect you enough to hear you out anyway? so it just made me closed off.

they share a common ancestor though. the concepts are still based on carl jung’s book ‘psychological types’ which is why there is some shallow overlap, but the scope, structure, and application of it is different. i feel like this system is a lot more “living” and relevant to real interactions and communication between people in our everyday lives. i am always seeing specific examples of these concepts in play in real life and in characters depicted in media. it’s also been more empirically studied and successfully implemented over in eastern europe, and has gone under constant development and contribution. while since the 50s, mbti had crystalized and become stagnant with diverging interpretations to the point where it’s become basically meaningless to try to talk about because nobody can agree on concepts or semantics; there are virtually no distinctions between “schools” or “models” to differentiate interpretations — (although i have my preference for what i think are the most meaningful and reasonable one; as i said, that goes to michael pierce.) eastern (not so much western) socionics is incredibly more well put-together than mbti or kiersey for squeezing the potential from jung’s original ideas, and goes much deeper. that said, i will ALWAYS advise self-studying typlogy concepts over taking a test. the algorithm of a test can never possibly know you and your individual biases in interpreting the meaning of the words better than the knowledge you just have about yourself. if you learn the theory underlying it you will actually learn about yourself and others and it will actually mean something to you instead of a being an empty decoration for your profile.

here is a comparison chart i translated into english so you can get some idea of where these systems actually differ.

Букалов, А. (2019). On the advantages of socionics over other post-Jungian typologies. Socionics, Mentology and Personality Psychology, (6), 5–7. Retrieved from https://publishing.socionic.info/index.php/socionics/article/view/2603

for me it’s been super insightful applied to real life. it is like a toolkit for interpreting why some people just rub me the wrong way and our communication feels disjointed. or why some people pass my vibe check to enter my personal inner circle and i feel like talking with them is easier and not an uphill battle. who i feel drawn to and want to get to know better. to deconstruct why i and other people interpret information in the world the way they do, and how that explains the kind of people i end up curating in my life. it has put into words the concepts i haven’t been able to find the words for beforehand, and thus enables me to retrospectively pinpoint exactly what unconsciously makes people feel more at ease or why communication is just easier with some and why it’s harder with others, regardless of any other factors. there are other factors of course, that are the result of unique circumstances—nurture, culture, and upbringing—and i of course account for those, it’s not as pertinent to me as the framework that provides the skeletal structure regardless of those individual variations that are simply already a given for me. that was actually the whole point of its creation.

the system gives me a common language to communicate these ideas with, at least to the few people i talk to who have learned it, but i can adapt the concepts in how they relate to specific circumstances and convey it to a lay audience. i’ve been doing just that to explain why, of the people who have been made aware of the hs rarepair john-aradia, i have seen no one object to it, and instead, everyone i saw found it intriguing the more they thought about it, even when they initally thought was “so random”. and i realized, “hey wait! i know how to explain that!”, but that's in another post i've been working on.

[i was actually originally writing this post in the middle of said aradia and john analysis but i felt like there was way too much i wanted to talk about as its own thing. i figured people are going to be reading that post for john-aradia explanation, not public updates about my mind. i just didn’t want to rewrite this to account for the context because the point i made was still relevant]:

but now i’m thinking okay… i’m talking to a bunch of homestucks. why am i prostrating myself here? why am i so defensive? they’re probably creaming their pants at the idea of another symmetrically divisible system of classification to get their hands on. homestuck itself is founded upon a bunch of ideas with symmetrical divisions and classifications (divisible products of 2). aspect dichotomies, quadrants, cards, black-white, yin/yang and literally countless other abstract systems. if there is a common word to refer to these sorts of things, please let me know.

but in socionics terms, all of this sort of stuff i’m refering to would be within the domain of extraverted/black intuition (Ne) information, and classifying or positioning someone within those frameworks would be introverted/white logic (Ti). you can read more about these “elements” here. homestuck has familiarized you with notionally irreducible aspects present in everything, dual yin/yang forces permeating everything, so if you understand all of the sorts of abstract classification systems in homestuck you’re basically already 75% the way to fundamentally grasping model A socionics. it is way more structured and stable than the typologies in homestuck though. but you will perceive there to be similarities in the need for archetypal/thematic sense skills.

if you want to learn socionics, for the love of god start here. there are many weak places out there to start out with that will set you up with a faulty and loose understanding, but school of classic socionics is the best foundation to start with. i saw it emerge from the beginning when it was founded, having been part of it since late 2022.

this is an introduction to SCS, what makes it special, and and how differs from other socionics schools. i find SCS to be the most comprehensive, and i’m active within a side discord to discuss theoretical constructs related to model A. i’ve helped find the links between some concepts in model A that weren’t fully substantiated in augusta’s original works, specifically the importance of the asking/declaring reinin dichotomy, how it fits with regard to the rest of model A’s structure, how it underpins the ring of social benefit (which was missing from her writing), and how it can be used as an information element charge just like positivist/negativist can (i.e. all process types have positive asking Ne (+Ne? and all result types have negative declaring Ne (-Ne!). i’m still working on transfering my essay on that to a document.)

i know the intricacies of this system like the back of my hand but yeah i never post much about it because it’s so niche and i dont know who would even want to hear it besides people who i already know would, like in that small specialist group, but they actually been quiet lately even though i’m still active in there sharing things i realized. and i even feel alienated in most casual socionics discussion groups, especially larger ones. i need people who can match my freak about it.

because i have nowhere else to talk about it i’m starting to feel guilty yapping my friends’ ears off about it when i deconstruct everything i come across in light of this system like i’m being annoying about it. but at the same time when im doing that i am constantly reinforcing the merit of the system in successfully finding some dynamic i see in the drama of real life in connection to some idea from the model. i can immediately lock on to the core principles that are at play in any situation, validating the patterns that have been observed by others. by what measure do these people / characters / groups relate to each other, how do we define the specific “feeling” of the energy between them together? i could do a socionical analysis for anything that captures my interest.

it’s also been incredible for self-insight. i can now accurately explain my thought process.

i can change my perspective of the scope of my thinking on different levels. depending on the urgency of a situation developing around me and my respect for other people’s time, i can expand my reasoning from splitting hairs at the smallest pedantic specifics—although i prefer not to, to the most holistic global hard binary 0/1 (no/yes) judgment.

it’s fractal-like; once i know how to classify and compare the features of something to another, everything else with overlapping logical relationships instantly rises up in the same way, which of course is what leads to me having insights that reinforce the potential inherent in the things around me, because my way of thinking is isomorphic. i also experience strong animated mental imagery accompanying my conscious thoughts about these systems, minimalist shapes or lines of the barebones motion happening. i feel like my mental activity and what i actually write down is trying to capture what im seeing in my head.

i prefer to be brief, but that requires sharing contexts with someone. once i've established similar ways of talking about the same thing with someone so that we’re on the same page, our messages basically become exchanging code words with each other. all of the potential densely packed into these efficient little terms.

the effect is that i am reducing the amount of time and energy i have to spend trying to explain things to someone. i just want to communicate easily and be understood by the people i talk to so that i can enjoy my time with them. this is why i felt like such a long, clarifying, in-depth post was necessary, which would rip the bandaid off and pull it all up at once, instead of on a private, individual-to-individual level. i had to have it engraved somewhere i could just point someone to instead of repeatedly having to explain the same thing over and over cause that’s a waste of time and energy.

in fact, that revelation i had about myself just now can be explained by model A too! my own type is LIl and this type’s id block houses the information elements +Te! → +Ni?, which aushra describes as “The quality of deeds and actions and the efficient expenditure of energy in work—only performing for what is truly necessary—leads to peace of mind in the future.”

or, for example, coming at it from another angle, here is an older post i made before i was even aware of socionics. i was already talking about my experiences, patterns of thinking and self-awareness in a way that was so on the nose for a socionics analysis.

is that not the clearest example of phase 2’s sensitivity (for me it is information about sensorics)? -Fi? → -Se! superego block, anyone? and did you see how much i gave attention to the time i spend working; +Te! -> +Ni? id block? [information element descriptions here]. you could also derive the progression of the information metabolism stages in my own psyche (phase 1: Ethics -> phase 2: Sensorics -> phase 3: Logic -> phase 4: Intuition).

(from The Characteristic of SLI)

so through socionics it’s like i can find an explanation for just about everything i observe in others and myself just because i’ve extrapolated the logical relationships from that system and can isomorphically apply them to anything.

and i don't say that lightly! i'm not saying anything in this post lightly. like i have a degree in biopsychology from an honors college (ncf; yes, the liberal arts college desantis got his soulless hands on because it was “too woke"). having taken courses in statistics, research methods in psychology, and others, i know all about proper research design (and designing them myself). and of course i ended my four years there with my undergrad thesis, examining temporoparietal synchrony in autistic individuals when working alone and together, where for months on end i was doing nothing but reading and interpreting the validity of research papers. i even deconstructed poorly designed psychological constructs commonly used in autistic research in mine.

i also took personality psychology as a course during my time there. i got a birds eye view of most of the popular paradigms and still felt like i was more knowledgeable in the discourse behind some of the topics we glossed over since the course material was more of a broad comprehensive thing than an in-depth one for anything specific. in totality, all of the models i read about in relation to each other seemed so fragmented into different cuts and perspectives in trying to understand and find the patterns in people’s mental life. and yet none of the models i read about hold as as great of an everyday explanatory power as socionics does for explaining ways of thinking, people's proneness to certain tendencies, and the energetic tension that happens between certain people.

people can say otherwise that it’s pseudoscience. even though there are numerous studies built on real-world observations, the large-scale statistical data like from victor talanov. there's school of system socionics who emphasize its practice. it would be impossible to add all the evidence i can to support my claims to this post but you can see for youself - there are still countless new articles being published from different authors. regardless of that, even if it isn't accepted within the rigors of “scientific canon” i really dont give a fuck since it absolutely does indeed have explanatory and predictive power, and that’s all i care about. i’m confident in this not only through firsthand experience, the ability to frame what i know to be true about the real world within it and have it successfully describe those things, as well as talking to other people about my observations.

additionally, i see people make conclusions about interpersonal dynamics where they unknowingly repeat information that can be derived from socionics concepts.

something i noticed a LOT and ive repeatedly thought about and come to the same conclusion multiple times is that i think i naturally might "embody" the most optimal ways of interacting with other people for myself. it gives me insight into the nature of the personal relationships that i already procure in my life, but it’s not really a self-fulfilling prophecy because i dont use socionics to prescribe who i "should" be friends with. that's silly. thats a silly thing to do because people do have idiosyncracies that don't perfectly align with a system if you rigidly adhere to it, so you're bound to be set up for failure if you try to force that and you will be disappointed. it's better to let these feelings happen naturally without pretense, because that's where the observations that fuel my insight comes from.

i have a subconscious sense for who i will be able to get along with in the long term almost instantly without the need for any kind of system, just based on their actual mannerisms and “vibes”, but that alone is not good enough for me, i want to know why. socionics just gives me tools to figure out why so that i know what im dealing with and its not just ineffable energies, but i can put a name to those energies to think and talk about it and compare and discover patterns in what ive curated in my inner circle over my life, what i feel drawn towards. and indeed i do find plentiful amounts of recurring patterns. the simplification and abstraction is not to destroy the soul and expression of individuals but to wrap my head around them and understand them deeper in relation to everything else, including myself.

i am aware it can be confusing for many people which turns them away. but if theres any questions you have or youre confused about any concepts i can answer them

but yeah um, i’ve really only scratched the surface of this cognitive cybernetic tool. if you are genuinely interested in what i have to say and want me to talk more about it please openly tell me since i’m not a mind reader! i assume disinterest by default.

anyway if you got to this point thanks for reading. i wanted to just put it out there for context about any posts i make in the future. just stating my honest thoughts and whats been occupying my mind for the past two years.

be on the lookout for the john and aradia analysis soon where i’ll use it in practice to deconstruct some things about those characters. and if you’re coming to this post from that analysis after ive posted it, i’m sorry this post is so long in the middle of an already long-ish post. i just thought the context was important.

#mine #socionics #model A

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i-literally-cant-with-this · 9 months ago

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A/N ::: I did dishes tonight and was bent over, yeah, you guessed it, filling up the Jet-Dry thingy and thought how nice would it be to have Draken come up behind me and whack me on the ass. And then it just got terribly, terribly out of hand and now we're like 2500+ words shorter on life. I'm so sorry I do this shit. But you don't have to read it. (THOUGH ILY ALL SM FOR READING IT!!!!)

C/W ::: Domestic!Draken x F.reader, fluff, some smut.

WC ::: 2,572

You're bent over the dishwasher filling up the rinse agent again. Because even though everyone that comes through your home CAN do things, doesn't mean they WILL.

You're filling it up and it hasn't spilled yet. Like, all of it has gone into the receptacle and it's perfect. You hear Draken's heavy, booted footsteps approaching you and you're so excited to tell him your stupid little feat over the dishwasher. "Ken! Ken! Guess what I just di-" he smacks your ass with a cupped hand. And so hard, too, that it almost makes you fall forward onto the open dishwasher door.

"What. The. Fuck. Have. You. Done!!" you say to him in a tone that's borderline scaring him. "Did you not see what I was doing here? I c- hoh man. Oh my god, Ken."

"W- why're you talkin' to me like that? What'd I do? Why ... why is your face so red, sweets, hm?" You stood up and turned around, the jet-dry all over your hand. And you're so much shorter than him. He doesn't understand this fear that's bubbling up in his stomach at the way you're staring at him with such ... murderous intent.

"Um, th-thank you for doing the dishes ... right? Is that what I'm supposed to say right now?" You slap his arm, making him yell in surprise. "Ow! Wha-"

"Don't interrupt me!" you yell at him. "You know damn well why I'm upset with you. Don't play dumb."

"Ohh, is this about the ass smack?"

"Yeah, it's about the ass smack! Do you realize how perfectly I was pouring that stupid dishwasher spot rinse this time? You just ... you ruined it! I'm gonna have to wait until it's run out and try again! AGAIN!"

He laughs. "Aw, baby, you're cute when you get all mad like this. It's adorable."

"Ryuuguji. This is not fucking funny to me! You can't just hit me like that while I'm trying to do something else. I was bending over for god's sake. You couldn't just, I don't know, tap me or something?"

"Uhhh, but you love it when I smack your ass, babe. Don't even try to deny it."

"That's beside the point! You can't do it every time."

"Well, maybe if you weren't so fuckin' hot when you're bent over like that, I wouldn't feel the need to!" You stare at him with your mouth agape. "I'm just sayin'!" he adds.

"Just. Shut up. And go back to your show." You turn around and start filling up the dishwasher again. He puts his hands on your waist, sliding them around to your stomach. "Ken ... I love you, but don't touch me right now."

"What if I don't wanna watch TV anymore? What if I wanna watch that pretty mouth of your wrappin' around my..." he pressed his erection against your ass. "Hm? You look so pretty."

"Are you kidding me?"

"What, you don't want my dick anymore? Is that what you're saying?"

"Yes! That's exactly what I'm saying! I don't want it right now because you're being insensitive!" He laughed.

"Why are you being so fuckin' psychotic about this? It's just the stupid spot rinse. And anyway, wasn't I helping you by getting more of it to circulate around in there? I think I deserve a thank you for being so insightful without even knowing it."

You turned around and shoved him away. "You're unbelievable. Seriously." You put the cap back on the spot rinse and walked away from him. "I don't wanna talk to you."

"Oh, come on! Baby, don't be like that! It was just a joke!" He followed you into the living room, where you were sitting on the couch with your arms crossed. "Sweetie, I'm sorry. I'll let you do your thing from now on, okay?"

"And how am I supposed to know if you're just saying that to appease me? You can't just apologize like that and expect me to believe you."

"I'll prove it to you. I'll watch your every move and make sure you’re not doing anything else before I smack your ass. See? I can be considerate too."

"Okay, well, if you can go a week without smacking my ass when it's poor timing, I'll believe you."

"A WEEK? I can't smack your ass for a whole week? Babe. Come on. You're being cra- unreasonable about this."

"I'm being what?"

"Nothing. Just. Fine. A week it is."

"Good." You smirked at him. "So, you can start by letting me finish filling up the dishwasher right now."

"No." He said. "Puttin' my foot down. And - and no. You getting all huffy about the fuckin' dishwasher has me hard as fuck and I want you to sit on my lap. Now."

"Are you kidding me? No! I'm not having sex with you after you made me spill my hard-earned dishwasher spot rinse!"

"Baby, it's just dish soap."

"AH-HA! It's not dish soap. It's a rinsing agent!" You don't know why you felt like you'd won the whole thing right then and there. But Draken just shook his head at you and walked to the bedroom and flopped down on the bed, undoing his pants.

"Fine. Just know that I'll be over here, jackin' off while you're doing your little thing. And you'll be missing out on a good time, so, you know. Your choice."

You didn't care. You went back to the kitchen and started filling up the dishwasher again. This time, you had a timer set for 5 minutes. If you couldn't fill it up in that time, you were going to give up and come back to it later.

Draken stayed on the bed with his cock in his hand, stroking slowly while he watched you from the bedroom. It was kind of hot, seeing you so determined. He knew you weren't going to let him win this one. And that turned him on. A lot.

But you couldn't do it. The timer went off and you still had a little left to do. And it pissed you off. You walked back to the bedroom and threw a pillow at him. "Happy?"

He smiled at you. "Why don't you come and find out?" You looked down at his hard cock and back up at him. You rolled your eyes and grabbed the pillow, throwing it back to its spot on the bed.

"I'm not gonna have sex with you while you're being such a brat." You started to walk away but he grabbed your arm and pulled you toward him.

"I- sor- sorry. I'M being a brat? Who the fuck do you think you are! Talk-" he pulled you so you were standing right in front of him and yanked your yoga pants and panties down in one motion. "Talking to me like that. You're the brat here, brat. And you know what," he laid you over his lap so your ass was in the perfect position to spank, "you're about to get a little lesson in respect. I'll show you who's a brat."

"K- Ken ... don't you dare!" But he was already bringing his hand down on your bare ass, making you yelp in surprise. "Ah! Ow! Don't you fucking dare!"

He smacked you again, harder this time. "Respect, bitch!" He smacked you again and again, alternating between cheeks. "Who's a brat now?"

"You, Ken! You! Oh my- oh my god, please stop!" You were laughing so hard that tears were running down your cheeks and you couldn't believe he was doing this to you. It stung but it was also turning you on.

He stopped spanking you and pulled you onto his lap, laying you on your side so your ass wasn't touching anything. "You okay, baby? Huh?" He ran his fingers over the red marks on your skin.

"I hate you so much," you said, still laughing.

"No. You don't." He kissed your cheek and ran his hands over your body. "You love me."

"Yeah, I do."

He lifted you up and positioned you so you were straddling him. "Good. Now. Let's have sex."

"Um. I don't think so." You slid off of him and looked around for your pants. They were in the garbage. "Really, Ken? The garbage can?"

"What? It's not like I meant to throw them there."

"Mm-hm. And besides, you just spanked me! Multiple times! So no. N-O spells no." You started to run away from him, still bare assed. Your ass jiggled all the way down the hallway and he couldn’t take his eyes off of it.

"Oh, no, you don't!" He ran after you and tackled you onto the couch, pinning you down with his body. "I didn't say you could go anywhere. You're staying right here with me."

"Ken, please!"

"Please, what? You want me to spank you more? Is that it? You liked getting your ass slapped, huh? You little slut." He pushed his cock against you, pressing it against your clit. "You wanna get fucked?"

"Yes! Yeh-hess, I want you to fuck me, Ken."

"Hmm. Not so fast." He pulled away from you and got down on his knees on the floor, lifting your legs up over his shoulders. He kissed the inside of your thighs, his lips ghosting over your skin. "You know how much I love these thighs of yours?"

"Mhm. Ken, please."

"Really. Now you're begging me for it? You're fuckin' unbelievable. So needy 'n shit. Got some nerve." He pressed his tongue against your clit, flicking it back and forth. "I don't know if I'm ready yet. You're gonna have to work a little harder than that to get me going. 'Sides, you had your chance. Several, actually. So really, this is your fault." He went back to licking your pussy, his tongue delving into your folds.

You brought your fingers to your mouth and licked them, rubbing them over your clit, moaning as he ate you out. He pushed your hand away and replaced it with his own. He started to rub your clit faster, making your hips buck up. "Mm. Good girl."

"Ah! Ohh, fuck!" Your orgasm hit you hard, making you moan loudly. "Ken! Ahh, fuck!" You tried to push him away, but he kept going, licking and sucking at your wetness until you couldn't take it anymore. "I can't! Fuck, I ca- hah!"

He finally stopped and sat back on his heels, wiping his mouth with his hand. "There. Now. How do you feel about fucking me now?"

You laughed at him. "Fuck off."

"Aww, come on, baby. You know you wanna." He leaned forward and kissed your lips, his tongue dipping into your mouth. "Let's finish filling up the dishwasher together, hm?" He helped you up and pulled your shirt over your head, leaving you completely naked.

"I can't believe you," you said, laughing. "You really did that."

"Hey, you said no sex. I was just taking it a step further by removing all of your clothes so you couldn't even pretend you were gonna have sex with me. In this household, nudity is not frowned upon. In fact, I may tell our friends that if they come over, they have to take their clothes off. You'd like that, huh? I see the way you look at Mikey and Baji. Kazutora sometimes. And Chifuyu. And Mitsuya."

"OK! Jesus. Yeah, your friends are hot. But I'm in love with you, you caveman."

"I know. But it's okay. They don't mind that you're in love with me, either. So don't worry about it. You can fuck any of them if you want."

"I ... wh-what? I don't want to fuck them. I just like lookin' at them. Jesus. Way to give me up so fast! Wait, have they - have they said anything about wanting to fuck me? No no no. Don't answer that. Let's just do the dishes so you can fuck me."

He laughed and grabbed you by the arm, pulling you toward the kitchen. "Fine. Come on, then. Let's fill up the dishwasher and get you back into bed for round 2."

"Oh god, please don't call it that."

"What? What else would you call it? Fucking?"

"Yes, that's it."

"Oh, right. The fucking. Got it." He walked over to the dishwasher and grabbed the spot rinse. "Here. Fill it up. I'll watch." He leaned against the counter, his arms folded across his chest.

You sighed. "Fine." You picked up the bottle and filled it up, not spilling a drop. "You're ruining my fun by watching me so closely."

"Nah. You're just being a little brat again." He stepped closer to you and pressed his erection against your back. "And you know what happens to brats, right?"

"Yeah, they get punished."

"That's right, baby. That's exactly right." He spun you around and kissed you, his lips pressing against yours hungrily. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard right here on the counter, you’ll never do the dishes again without thinking about my cock."

You giggled and shook your head at him. "You're such a horny fuck, Ken. I love it." You started to push his boxers down his hips.

He pulled them down and stepped out of them, his cock hard and ready for you. "That's my girl. You ready for me?"

"Mhm." You lifted your leg up and wrapped it around his waist, pulling him closer. "Fuck me, Ken. Fuck me right here."

He thrust his cock into you, making you gasp in surprise. "There it is. That's what I love hearing from you." He fucked you hard and fast, his hips snapping against yours as he pounded into you. "Ahh, fuck. You feel so good. You feel so fucking good."

"Ohh, Ken! Ah! Fuck! Oh my god! Hah!!!" You cried out, scooting closer and closer to him off of the counter.

"Yeah? Fuckin' feels so good yeah? Fuck I love it when you're loud!" He began thrusting even harder into you.

"No! There's a fork stabbing me in the ass, get me off of here!" you yelled, trying to get away from the sharp metal object.

He laughed too hard at that and picked you up, carrying you to the bedroom. "There you go, baby."

You sighed in relief. "Thank you." He climbed onto the bed with you and pulled you on top of him. "Now I want you to ride me. Ride my cock." He held your hips and helped you move up and down on him. "Fuck, you're so hot like this. Yeah, just like that."

You moaned as you rode him, your hips rocking back and forth as you took him deeper. "Ken, you're so fucking good." You leaned forward and kissed him, your tongue sliding into his mouth. He kissed you back, his tongue rubbing against yours.

He started to thrust up into you, matching your rhythm. "That's it, baby. I love forking you." He smirked.

"What the fuck did you just say? I'm done. This was not meant to happen today." You climbed off of him and went to the bathroom to clean up.

"Babe, I'm sor-" he couldn't talk he was laughing so hard. "I'm sorry! Come here. C'mere."

"No. You know what? No. Go fork yourself, Ryuuguji. Don't speak to me for the rest of the day." You chuckled.

You don't know what you did to deserve this beautiful man in your life. But you thank the God's everyday that he loves you back.

Taglist ::: @kazutora-kurokawa @darkstarlight82 @viburnt @arlerts-angel @katkitkats @honeycloudz @lesyeuxde-amour

To the people I never tag, I only tagged you because you <3'd my silly little post. I won't tag you in anything else (unless you specifically request to be so. Thanks!)

#draken #ken ryuuguji #ken ryuguji #domestic fluff #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers fluff #draken fluff #domestic draken #draken smut #ken ryuguji fluff #ken ryuguji smut #ken ryuguji x reader #draken x reader #draken x you #draken x y/n

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velvette-creations · 6 months ago

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Everybody's Looking for Something

Hazbin Hotel: Alastor x platonic!reader

Rating: Teen

WC: 1.6 k

Prompt: Sweet Dreams for @sweetspicybingo (Hurt/Comfort Bingo Collection)

Warnings: Brief mention of past drug use, mention of a car accident, angst, Alastor having nefarious plans

Summary: Hell claims your soul and Alastor offers a helping hand

You don’t remember the pain; all you can recall is the blackness as it swallowed you up while the broken glass splattered onto the asphalt. You felt swallowed by the abyss, an endless falling as your limbs flailed in the hopeless attempt to grab onto something. Finally, you hit solid ground as the smell of burning flesh hit your nose. The acrid smell of sulfur made you gag. A deep groan rumbled through you while you slowly sat up to peer around your new surroundings. Brimstone crunched beneath you. A smoky haze clung to the air, making breathing hard, which you thought was rather silly. You were clearly dead; did you even need to breathe anymore?

“Salutations! My, my, where did you come from?”

The dulcet tones of the voice felt oddly soothing yet there was something in the tone that made the hairs stand up on your arms. It reminded you of the old black and white movies you watched with your parents as a child—Old-timey, a throwback to the past, yet a touch unearthly. You pressed up onto your palms, blinking your eyes a few times. Even in the dark, murky haze, you could make out the malicious grin, teeth spiked and dangerous in the widely stretched mouth. The figure was tall and slender, looming over your sprawled body with black antlers perched in the middle of their fluffy hair. Was this a man? No…it had to be a demon, right? This was Hell, after all.

“Uhhh…from above?” you replied, pointing your finger upward, “Can you tell me where I am?”

“Why, you’re in hell, of course! Up above, you say? I suppose that makes you a human sinner or a fallen angel then, though I would assume the former. A fresh soul.” An eerie green light flashed around the demon as they seemed to grow taller.

Your heart sank as you took in their words. You should have known, should have figured it out. Given the life you were living and how you crashed through the windshield as drugs pulsed through your system, you weren’t surprised this was your fate. How could you even be deemed worthy of heaven?

“Yeah…guess you must be right. Can I ask your name?”

“Only if you’ll give me yours in return. I’m Alastor, my dear. Now let’s get you off the filthy ground,” the creature chirped, the sharp smile still plastered on his face.

You told him your name as he extended his arm, offering you a gloved hand. “Thanks,” you murmured as you were pulled to your feet. You felt chilled to your bones even as heat blazed through this place.

“Come now, I know the perfect place for you,” Alastor stated, offering you his arm. While it probably wasn’t wise to go off with a stranger, what other choice did you have? Navigating hell by yourself seemed…stupid, or so you surmised from the screams echoing through the air. Better the devil you knew. Not that you really knew him., but he seemed the safest option.

“So are you a demon or ….” you asked, slipping your arm through his and letting him guide you away. You thought if he wished to harm you, he would have done so by now.

“Indeed I am, darling. They refer to me as the radio demon around here.”

A soft laugh fell from your lips, as Alastor tilted his head in a way that made your nerves stand on edge.

“Sorry…but that’s exactly what your voice reminds me of! I was thinking old movies, but radio dramas suit you much better,” you explained, feeling your cheeks grow hot.

His delighted chuckle chimed through the air and put you at ease. “Oh, you and I are going to be great pals, I can tell.”

Not much else was said as he helped you navigate the streets until you arrived at a hotel, blinking as you took in its sheer size and the neon sign buzzing overhead.

“I never would have guessed Hell would have a hotel,” you said in shock.

“My dear, you’ll discover we have all sorts of clever things down here. I have…friends who reside here and help to run it. Think of it as a safe haven.”

You clung tightly to his arm as you followed him inside.

“Hey Al! You’re back, and you brought a stray! What’s your name, gorgeous? I haven’t seen you around these parts before,” a spider-like creature asked, giving you a wink.

“A new arrival to our humble abode,” Alastor explained.

You nearly shrieked as a small creature with one eye scuttled under you.

“You are filthy! Dirty, dirty girl,” she cackled, her clawed fingers tugging at your clothing.

“Why don’t you draw a nice hot bath for our newest guest, Niffty dear?” Alastor suggested, and you watched in awe as the creature ran off, her tiny arms waving wildly in the air.

“A drink will help take the edge off. I’m Angel, by the way,” the fluffy pink and white spider creature said, shoving a shot glass into your hand.

“Nice to meet you, Angel. I’m lucky Alastor here found me,” you murmured before downing the liquor.

“Not sure luck has anything to do with it,” you heard a deep voice mutter, your gaze following the sound before landing on a winged cat creature. You might need another shot to process all this.

“Oh, Husker, what a jester,” Alastor sneered.

“Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!” a cheery voice chimed, and you watched a tall, horned blonde dash down the stairs before throwing their arms around you, “I’m Charlie!”

You were shocked at first before discovering you enjoyed her hug. It certainly wasn’t the type of behavior you expected in hell.

“I hope it’s ok, Alastor brought me here,” you whispered, gently patting her back.

“Of course! Our doors are always open, especially to those who want to redeem their souls!” she explained.

“Is that possible?” you asked.

“Of course! Well…at least, I think so!”

“Wow, that’s really cool. Sounds like Alastor brought me to the right place,” you smiled as Charlie beamed.

“He sure did!” she exclaimed.

“Lots of other nasty demons and overlords roaming those streets. You at least ended up with the right one,” Angel said before taking a long pull from a bottle of whisky.

Husk raised an eyebrow, his gaze lingering on you momentarily before returning to cleaning up the bar he stood behind.

“Your bath is ready, filthy, diry girl!” Niffty shouted, dangling from the banister.

“Allow me to escort you to your room,” Alastor offered, guiding you up the sprawling staircase.

The room was decent enough and clean, and the steam swirling around the air beckoned to you.

“Thank you, Alastor,” you whispered, surprised when he took hold of your hand.

“Truly my pleasure, dear. Enjoy your bath,” he hummed before leaving you.

The hot water felt soothing against your skin as you soaked in the bath.

“Hello, hello, I promise I’m not looking! I just brought you some fresh clothes. None of mine will fit you, but you seem the same size as my girlfriend, Vaggie! Ohhh, I can’t wait for you to meet her,” Charlie bristled, dumping a pile of clothes onto your bed.

“Thank you, Charlie. You’ve been super nice, everyone has…which is surprising for a bunch of…”

“Demons?” she finished for you, chuckling softly, “We’re a unique bunch.”

“I can tell, but I think I’m gonna like it here.”

“Oh, that makes me so happy I could burst! You must be special if Alastor brought you here! Ok, enjoy your bath!”

You stayed in the tub until the water grew cold and your skin was scrubbed clean; the faint odor of sulfur still lingered behind. Once you were dry, you picked out a pair of black leggings and a red top to put on, thankful this Vaggie preferred a more subdued color palette. You settled on the bed, closing your eyes for a moment until a knock came at your door.

“It’s Alastor, my dear, I’ve brought some food for you.”

“Oh, come in,” you called out and watched as he entered, pushing a food cart over to your bed,

“Something simple, dear, but you need to keep your strength,” Alastor explained as he lifted the lid off the tray, “A soothing, homemade chicken noodle soup.” The aroma made your mouth water and stomach rumble.

“Thanks, smells delicious,” you whispered, scooting to the edge of the bed before picking up the spoon and savoring the hot liquid. With each taste, the realization of everything that happened hit you like a ton of bricks. You were dead and stuck in Hell. Hot, salty tears rolled down your cheeks, splashing onto the white linen the soup bowl rested on.

“Now, now, there’s no need for tears,” Alastor tutted, sitting next to you and rubbing your back.

“S…sorry. It just all hit me at once,” you sniffled, swiping your hand under your dripping nose.

“You just need a good night’s rest. Come, let’s tuck you in.”

You allowed Alastor to move you under the sheets, tucking the blanket securely under your chin before he patted your head.

“My mother used to sing me to sleep, I found it most comforting,” he smiled, his eyes flickering and softening momentarily.

“That sounds nice,” you whispered, blushing as he began to sing to you. His voice was soothing yet haunting simultaneously.

Sweet dreams 'til sunbeams find you

Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you

But in your dreams, whatever they be

Dream a little dream of me

His voice was incredibly comforting, curling over you like a warm, fluffy blanket and bringing you peace. Closing your eyes, you slowly drifted off to dreamland, sighing softly. You were out like a light by the time Alastor finished the pleasant little ditty. One clawed hand smoothed down your hair before a tentacle wrapped around your throat.

“Sweet dreams, my dear. Soon enough, your soul will be mine.”

#fic: hazbin hotel #sweetspicyhc #alastor x reader #alastor x you #alastor x y/n #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor fanfiction #alastor imagine #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel hell #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hurt/comfort

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verdantcrimson · 21 days ago

Text

Let's Play and Learn

Writer: Yuumasu

Season: Autumn

TL: verdantcrimson

(Unproofread)

Mitsuru: We’re heeere~! It’s the amusement park, the amusement park!

Tomoya: Hold on, Mitsuru. You aren’t a little kid anymore, don’t get all worked up about it.

Mitsuru: Why not, why not? Everyone can have fun at an amusement park!

Mitsuru: I’ve been looking forward to this for looong time, so I’m gonna have as much fun as I can! YAHOO!

Tomoya: Wai- Don’t drag me by the arm, listen to me!

Souma: …… Today, Tenma seems more excitable than usual.

Hajime: Heheh. It’s been a while since all us four Ra*bits have gone on an outing like this.

Hajime: I think it’s because everyone from AKATSUKI is with us. Right, Nii-chan?

Nazuna: Yup. Hajime-chin, you can spend your time however you like too, kay? Relaxation is important.

Hajime: Okay!

Hajime: … Ah, Tomoya-kun and Mitsuru-kun are waving me over. It looks like they’re taking pictures with the mascots.

Kuro: Hey, Kanzaki. You go and take a picture too.

Souma: I as well?

Kuro: You’re the eldest amongst the students. That makes you their ‘big brother’. Keep an eye on the little ones and make sure they don’t tire themselves out.

Souma: I am their ‘big brother’, you say?

Souma: Leave it to me! ♪ I shall go forth, as an elder!

Keito: —Considering what you came here to accomplish, shouldn’t you be the one interacting with the kids, Kiryu?

Kuro: Uhhh…… That’s, well, I’ll get around to it eventually…

Nazuna: Ahaha! At that rate, you won’t make any progress at all, y’know~?

Keito: I agree. By the way, Nito was the one who came up with the plan for today, correct?

Nazuna: Ah, yeah. I happened to bump into Kuro-chin at the office last week, and he told me his thoughts on ‘Bogie Time’.

Nazuna: He also asked me: “How do you react entertainingly on shows like that?”

Nazuna: I gave him some advice on a few things, but ‘reacting’ isn’t a skill you can just get by listening to someone tell you how to do it, right?

Nazuna: We decided to train somewhere far removed enough from day to day life to put it into practice— Hence the special training at the amusement park.

Nazuna: Then we figured two guys hanging out on their own would be lonely, so we decided to invite our pals along! ♪

Keito: I can understand that much, however… Other four invitees aside, why call me? I’m not exactly the kind of person that would jump for joy at the prospect of going to an amusement park.

Kuro: With everyone else taggin’ along, wouldn’t you feel sad bein’ the only one left out?

Kuro: I didn’t want to make you feel bad, or have ya thinkin’ that I didn’t call ‘cause you’re too busy with work or somethin’.

Kuro: Havin’ ya here would make me happier too, Hasumi. Guys like us don’t tend to come to places like these often, right?

Kuro: I’m lookin’ forward to seein’ an unexpected side of ya. ♪

Keito: So, you’re expecting me to make a fool of myself? You have terrible taste.

Keito: … But well, like you said earlier. Kanzaki seems to be happy about this.

Keito: I suppose you’ll need a reliable adult around. Don’t you appreciate that, Kiryu?

Kuro: ‘Course. I’m always appreciative of ya, Hasumi danna……♪

Keito: Hmph… Now that I’m here, I’ll make certain you accomplish your goals.

Keito: According to the pamphlet, the attractions that would be best for training your reactions are…… The haunted house, log flume, rollercoaster, as well as the—

Kuro: Ugh. Could we skip the rollercoaster and other swingy stuff? You already know I’m not a rides guy.

Nazuna: Then, how about this one? It’s an attraction where you can have fun talking to the crew.

Nazuna: Since you can’t predict what people are going to say next, it’ll be perfect for upgrading your adlib power. ♪

Souma: …… One and all, how long do you intend to keep conversing for?

Souma: T’would be a shame to waste away our time for naught. I wish for our senpai to enjoy the amusement park alongside us as well.

Kuro: Whoops. Sorry Kanzaki.

Kuro: You’re right. Even if I’m avoidin’ the rides, I’m sure I’ll be able to learn somethin’ from all the other attractions.

Kuro: Alright, shall we go and have some fun together? ♪

[A few hours later]

Nazuna: … Oh, I’ve got a call from Hajime-chin.

Nazuna: Hello? Were you able to buy the churros?

Nazuna: Uhuh. Yup, yup. …… Got it, you can take your time. Seeya.

Nazuna: Turns out the line ended up being surprisingly long, so it’ll take them some time to get back.

Kuro: I see. Honestly, that’s kind of a relief. They were constantly draggin’ me all over the place.

Keito: Yes. The amount of walking around they did was quite surprising.

Nazuna: Both of you look exhausted~. Feels like you’re two dads on vacation! ♪

Nazuna: But I’m impressed, ‘cause Kuro-chin still seriously practiced his reaction expressions.

Kuro: ‘Course I’d take it seriously. Otherwise there’d be no point in comin’ here.

Keito: Even so, doesn’t embarrassment tend to win out for most? You put in so much effort to act horrified at the haunted house, that you managed to horrify the ghosts—

Keito: And when you asked the mascot character for an autograph, It was like you were threatening him. You took it so seriously that it was almost comical. In some ways, this has been a learning experience for me as well.

Kuro: Haha. Comical, huh? Can’t tell if I’m bein’ praised or degraded here.

Kuro: So now, let’s have a look what other attractions there are……

Mitsuru: —Then, how’s this?

Nazuna: Oh, you guys are back. …Hm? What’s that?

Mitsuru: A horned headband! It glows in the dark! I bought one for everyone so we could remember our amusement park trip! ☆

Kuro: You want me to wear that and walk around? Nah, I couldn’t. I mean, obviously…… It just wouldn’t suit me.

Mitsuru: Eeeh? I expected a happier reaction! You might have to wear even sillier outfits when you go on variety shows, don’tcha think?

Mitsuru: If wearing a headband makes you feel embarrassed, you’re not gonna be able to do anything!

Kuro: But…

Mitsuru: Now’s my chance!

Kuro: Yipes. Close call… I almost got a headband put on me.

Mitsuru: You dodged!? If you had stayed put for just a little longer, I would’ve had it! Bummer!

Nazuna: ……Oh. Kuro-chin, Kuro-chin, wouldn’t this also work as training your reaction skills?

Kuro: Huuh? Whaddya mean?

Nazuna: Liiike this! —Hiiyah! ☆

Kuro: Woah! Nito, not you too!

Nazuna: Darn it~! Tomoya-chin, Hajime-chin, come on! Let’s join forces and put this headband on him!

Tomoya & Hajime: Got it!

Kuro: Hey now, how’s a 4v1 even fair…?

Souma: Indeed, it seems as though Kiryu-dono is also enjoying himself whilst frolicking around in such a manner. I shall cheer for you as well…♪

Kuro: I don’t need you cheerin’, help m—

Kuro: …No. I ain’t gonna make a peep. If I start complainin’ now, I’ll lose my dignity as a man.

Kuro: Bring it, rabbits. I’ll take ya all on…!

Souma: Hehe. As one would expect of Kiryu-dono, he fights a solitary battle. ♪

Souma: ……By the by, Hasumi-dono. In this particular circumstance, what exactly would qualify Kiryu-dono as the victor?

Keito: No clue.

#Keito Hasumi #Kuro Kiryu #Souma Kanzaki #Tomoya Mashiro #Nazuna Nito #Hajime Shino #Mitsuru Tenma

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fakesimp · 2 years ago

Note

Hiya !!! i love your account so much <33 keep what your doing because you’re doing great !!

may i ask for a fluff with a bit of smut with Aster ? as far as i know you didn’t do one with him so why not ^^

Thigh highs, with Aster Arcadia

Warning !

Slight nsfw ; Fluff ; Flirty ! Clingy ! Aster ; Kissing ; Mentions of Handcuffs ; Mentions of Sex ; Established Relationship

A/n !

I have no idea what to write for him but this is, what I could think of-

Also uhhh, the title and the content utc might be a bit, off.. apologies (⁠╯⁠︵⁠╰⁠,⁠) , also thank you for the kind words !! I'll try my best anon 💜 hehe

I hope you like this anon !

➶◜◝➴

"Baabeee"

He called you, your Beloved Starlight from upstairs, loud enough that you can hear him all the way downstairs. It took you a moment before going to where he is, "What's wrong Aster?" You asked as you walk down the hallway and stopped in the middle. Waiting for his reply, "Over hereee" he replied in his streaming room.

You went over to the room and peeked inside to see him on the couch, looking at his own legs, that's, wearing..

Thigh highs.

"Hi babe~ look at the new thigh highs i bought~~" he said as his eyes sparkle, you blinked, and slowly closing the door.

Taking a deep breath before opening it again, making the male letting out a small chuckle. "Why so shy, I haven't even done anything yet.." he said making you stopped walking for a moment before you continue approaching him, "So why did you call me here?" You tried to avoid his flirtatious remarks.

"Hm~ here, take this" he didn't push further on the flirting, for now. At least, that's what you thought. And you look at what he gave you, "Wh, ...at am i suppose to do with, these again." You hesitantly asked as you stare at the thing he gave you. "Use it, what else you should do with handcuffs." He said and slowly smirks at you, you look back at him. Mouth slightly agape, you tried to reply but no words are coming out.

"Me? Using the handcuffs or you-" you stopped half way and look down on the handcuffs, He then chuckled, "You're so cute babe, asking for everything. I'm just kidding, put it on the table there, and come hereee.." he said as he gesture you to come closer.

"I want cuddles." He said as he did the doe eyes at you, you slightly bit your lower lip. And went to him and pull him up from the couch, "if you want to cuddle, let's cuddle in the bedroom.." you said as you gently hold his hand and led both you and him to your shared bedroom.

. . .

"Mm, this is nice.." he said as he snuggle up to you, him slightly pushing his head under your chin, his arms around your waist, his legs entangled itself around yours. You can feel the thigh highs material brushing against your legs, "Mhm.. are you going to sleep?" You asked as you ran a hand through his hair, it's so soft.

"Well, that was the plan, what? Did you want me to do something else instead..??"

"Nevermind go to sle-- mmh-!?"

"Hmm.. I change my mind,

... wanna do it? Hehe."

©fakesimp . 2023

A/n !

There we go ! I am sorry in advance if he's ooc, i tried my best (⁠´⁠；⁠ω⁠；⁠｀⁠) I hope this exceeds your expectations

#nijisanji en x reader #nijisanji x reader #xsoleil x reader #xsoleil #aster arcadia #aster arcadia x reader #nijisanji en #nijisanji #luxiem x reader #luxiem #➴ fakesimp writing for you #fakesimp writing

201 notes · View notes

heavyhitterheaux · 2 years ago

Text

Back To The Way They Were

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

(Pairs with Lose You to Love Me)

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, druski2funny, saweetie, mortirolo, danivalentine, cozane, and 3,459,182 others

y/ninsta: classy ratchet bitch, real trendsetter 😘💖

lilnasx: ma'am PLEASE GET YOUR FOOT OFF MY MUTHAFUCKIN NECK 😍😍😍😍

saweetie: got DAMN you ate this shit UP!

urbanwyatt: 😍😍😍

softtcurse: you looking amazing 😍

2forwoyne: softtcurse I- never mind

softtcurse: 2forwoyne ???

quiiso: not the time for that at all. moving on. First Lady looks amazing

urbanwyattsource: uhhh what is all that about?!

jackharlowsource: urbanwyattsource I wanna know too. I though her and Yasmin were cool?

urbandjack24: apparently not and someone needs to spill the tea

jackandy/naremyparents: how are we supposed to spill it if no one knows but them? and they aren’t about to say anything

jackandy/naremyparents: jackharlow look at how pretty your wife is! I'll marry her if you drop the ball and mess up

claybornharlow: jackandy/naremyparents get in line 😫

danivalentine: CLAYBORN!

claybornharlow: danivalentine yes? 😌

druski2funny: y/ninsta I thought we were going on our date?

jackharlow: druski2funny are you lost?

druski2funny: jackharlow 👀 oh um didn't realize I'd be running into you here

jackharlow: druski2funny 🤨

druski2funny: jackharlow I'll see myself out

jackharlow: druski2funny you do that and take claybornharlow and dualipa with you because I know her ass is on here lurking 🙄

dualipa: jackharlow not you calling me out when I'm trying to be discrete

jackharlow: dualipa you and discreet in the same sentence? Try again

jackharlow: y/ninsta you look gorgeous baby 😍

y/ninsta: jackharlow thank you smush, love you 💕

jackharlow: love you more ❤️

jackharlowsource: oh? did our parents make up? What's happening?

allthingsy/n: jackharlowsource she was at the GQ dinner the other night with him 👀

urbandjack24: finally because my heart cannot take this shit no more

jackandy/naremyparents: jackharlow y/ninsta I am putting in a formal request for a joint tour and a joint album in the future 👀

jackharlowsource: jackandy/naremyparents they would EAT! 😭😭😭

mortirolo: oh I see he’s not acting outta pocket like last time

danivalentine: Nicole, not now!

mortirolo: dainvalentine I didn’t even do anything!

urbandjack24: I honestly don’t think Nicole likes Jack 😭

mortirolo: urbandjack24 of course I do!

druski2funny: mortirolo God is watching, please stop lying on Beyonce’s internet

mortirolo: druski2funny I AM NOT LYING

2forwoyne: mortirolo all of PG begs to differ lmao

saweetie: mortirolo now Nicole...... lmaooooo

jackharlow: I need to start a support group for people who have been terrorized by her, Nicole’s victims anonymous

danivalentine: jackharlow PLEASEEEEEEEE 😭

quiiso: jackharlow you’re definitely the president lmao

shloob_: jackharlow can it be combined? Nicole and FL’s victims anonymous

y/ninsta: NOW WHY AM I IN IT?!

acepro: y/ninsta we all know shloob is scared of you lmao

shloob_: I WILL SAY THIS UNTIL I DIE, YALL ARE FUCKING STUPID IF YALL AREN’T

y/ninsta: I don’t even be doing anything! I rap and fuck my husband? Likeeee that’s literally it?

urbanwyatt: here yall fucking go 🙄

jackharlow: y/ninsta and you do it so well. them thighs are calling my name 😍

y/ninsta: jackharlow something else is calling your name too 👀

claybornharlow: CUT THE SHIT

jackharlow: claybornharlow no.

jackharlow: y/ninsta you do be terrorizing Urban, baby girl....

y/ninsta: jackharlow I DO NOT! urbanwyatt you better get in here and defend me

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta defend you from what exactly? I see no lies

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt oh okay wow. consider yourself evicted.

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta how am I getting evicted if I’m not even living with you right now?

jackharlowsource: oh? URBAN MOVED OUT?!?!

urbanwyatt: jackharlowsource I planned on going back the week of her birthday but she’s acting outta pocket right now in front of company

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt don’t bring your ass back once you get hungry and don’t bring your ass back at all. that ramen can only hold you over for so long.

danivalentine: y/ninsta girl please. you can’t live without your husband and you can’t live without your best friend. urbanwyatt she’ll have the door unlocked for you and accept you with open arms

y/ninsta: danivalentine you ain’t have to call me out like that. I know I’m a simp for PG. 🙄

2forwoyne: yesss more food for us!

y/ninsta: 2forwoyne don’t get excited. I still remember your ass eating my entire pan of cheesecake that was FOR NICOLE!

mortirolo: 2forwoyne you on my list now. watch your back

jackharlow: 2forwoyne we’re taking new members for our group every week 😭😭😭

2forwoyne: jackharlow I think I’m going to need the premium subscription 😭

claybornharlow: y/ninsta gorgeous as always 😍

jackharlow: claybornharlow I thought I told druski2funny to exit to the left and take you with him?

claybornharlow: jackharlow I’m her baby, she’s always going to want me around 🥰

jackharlow: y/ninsta get him before I do

y/ninsta: jackharlow isn’t he YOUR brother? And you better not touch a hair on my baby’s head!

jackharlow: y/ninsta EXCUSE ME WHAT?!

y/ninsta: claybornharlow I’m sorry you had to be a witness to him acting outta pocket

jackharlow: y/ninsta the only people acting outta pocket is the two of you! and mortirolo

mortirolo: jackharlow watch it curly 😡

jackharlow: mortirolo see? that’s why I need the support group

y/ninsta: jackharlow you are so dramatic sometimes smush lmao

jackharlow: y/ninsta oh? dramatic? me? how about you the other night acting as if I was trying to kill you as if you were running away from this dick?

y/ninsta: jackharlow I plead the fifth

jackharlow: y/ninsta mm hmm. I knew that would shut your ass up

y/ninsta: jackharlow still talking smush

jackharlow: y/ninsta wait until your break from tour....

theestallion: jackharlow oh?

normani: can’t wait for the group chat about that one!

druski2funny: jackharlow I get to watch right?

dualipa: if druski2funny gets to watch, so do I

jackharlow: druski2funny dualipa consider this me uninviting you both to friendsgiving

lilnasx: lmaoooooooo more food for meeeee

druski2funny: jackharlow hold on now! I have an important role

lilnasx: druski2funny you’re bringing the drinks because we know your ass can’t cook, your job is not that important

sza: I AM SCREAMINGGGGGGG 😭

dualipa: y/ninsta if jackharlow messes up.... you know where to find me

jackharlow: dualipa nobody will be able to find you once I’m done with you. CUT THE FUCKING SHIT NEOW

dualipa: jackharlow always so violent smh

jackharlow: dualipa I still have my bb gun. don’t test me.

claybornharlow: oh! you know what I just thought of? jackharlow and y/ninsta??

jackharlow: claybornharlow whatever it is, you better not say it

y/ninsta: claybornharlow if you say it, I’m not making your birthday cake this year

claybornharlow: jackharlow y/ninsta the senior prank the two of you pulled with the rest of PG

y/ninsta: claybornharlow DO NOT FINISH THAT FUCKING SENTENCE

jackharlow: claybornharlow KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

claybornharlow: bubble wrap. elevator music, and selling a house. kbye.

saweetie: claybornharlow GET BACK HERE AND EXPLAIN!

y/ninsta: claybornharlow count your days

jackharlow: y/ninsta forget days. his ass has MINUTES

jackandy/naremyparents: so happy that these two are back to the way they were before 🥰

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

@cockslutslurper3000

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@harlowthot

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@jacksmoviestar

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@exoticr0ses

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@toocriticalharlow

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@tattered-tales

@sisiking99

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@gillybear17

@jacksdaycare

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@disaster-rose

@babyvinnie

#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow instagram au #instagram au #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow x you

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kaylinalexanderbooks · 4 months ago

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Character voice

Thanks to @the-golden-comet here, here, and here, @paeliae-occasionally here, @melpomene-grey here, and @mysticstarlightduck here!

Rules: write a given phrase in your OCs' voices!

Got long; below the cut!

“Okay, confess: WHO ate the last bite?!”

Lexi: "I'm not mad, I just want to know: who ate the last bite? I'm not accusing anyone."

Maddie: "There was one bite left. Who ate it? Cause we weren't supposed to."

Ash: "I know who did it, but I'll give you two dollars if you admit it to everyone else."

Gwen: "Um, guys, there's a bite left. I know you probably didn't know this, but that bite was actually being saved for my youngest brother. And he'll be fine, of course, but I'd like to know what happened to it."

Robbie: "Woah what happened to the last bite? I swear there was one left."

Akash: "Someone ate the last bite?? Who does that?! I'd never do that. [Pause] I mean I guess someone has to eat the last bite, but like, check first?"

Jedi: "Pardon me for asking, but did anyone take the last bite?"

Carmen: "WHO STOLE THE LAST BITE???"

“We’ve run out of gas/fuel.”

Lexi: "Oh, no! We're outta gas! This will delay us and now we're gonna be late! Oh, God, I need to text Trixie now and tell her we're behind!!"

Maddie: "Hey, uh... The gas tank light is flashing."

Ash: "Guys, I think we just ran out of gas, the car's acting weird."

Gwen: "Not to be rude or anything, but don't you think we should start looking for a gas station?"

Robbie: "Shit, where's the nearest gas station??? Siri GAS STATION WHERE???"

Akash: "I know the gas light is on, but trust me, we have enough gas to get to the next station."

Jedi: "I am aware that the gasoline in the tank of this Ceteri vehicle is merely a quarter empty, and while that may not be too drastic, we should stop at a station and refuel, just in case we don't pass by another one."

Carmen: "Ceteri vehicles are so asinine; why must we waste non-renewable resources on fueling a car?"

“Why would you call ME?”

Lexi: "Look, I love you, but I'm confused. Why'dja call me? I don't know anything about this. Maybe call [Name], they know so much about this topic. They could help!"

Maddie: "I barely know you; why didja call me?"

Ash: "I mean... I'm not sure why you called me of all people. Couldn't you call, I dunno, a closer friend?"

Gwen: "Oh. Um, I'm flattered you called me, but I don't think I can help with that. Sorry. Maybe you can call Lexi, she'll know who can help you."

Robbie: "Haha, uhhh... Look, man, I'm... Not sure why you called me?? Like, I'd love to help you, but I dunno if I can."

Akash: "...well, thanks for uh...thinking of me I guess.... Uhhhhhh maybe you could call someone who knows more about this? Who do you know that could help in this field? Oh, them! Yeah yeah, uh, go call them! Uh... Thanks. I mean you're welcome. Bye."

Jedi: "Forgive me for asking, but may I inquire as to your reasoning behind calling me? I am unsure if I am capable of helping you in your predicament. Perhaps you may call someone with greater expertise."

Carmen: "... And you called ME?!... Why should I help you with your problem?!"

“Not in my house, you don't.”

Lexi: "Please don't do that in my house. My parents wouldn't like it."

Maddie: "Why are you doing that in my house?"

Ash: "Hey, uh, this is my house. I don't want you doing that."

Gwen: "Please don't do that in my house."

Robbie: "Woahwoahwoah hold on, what are you doing??? My mom's gonna kill you!"

Akash: "Hey--Hey! This is my mom's house! What are you doing??"

Jedi: "I would rather you not do this in my house."

Carmen: "THIS IS MY HOUSE AND YOU WILL BE RESPECTFUL!"

“Where did you put my ______?”

We're only gonna see one side of the conversation.

Lexi: "Where is my blue pen??? Where is my blue pen???? I know I put it here last, and now it's not there!!! Someone had to move it... How am I supposed to write down my math assignments without blue??? You found it!!! No, that's my CYAN pen, not blue!! Aghhhh!"

Maddie: "Where'd you put my Obi-Wan Kenobi Star Fighter LEGO set? I uh.... Can't find it.... Because you're the one who organized my unopened LEGO sets! You do it weird; I don't like it. It makes more sense to be the order I got them."

Ash: "Hannah! Where is my cross ring? My cross ring! Y'know, the one I wear on my left middle finger? No, not cross like crucifix, the criss cross one! How do you not know what that looks like; I wear it every day! I'm tearing the room apart until I find it! It'll be a meeeesss."

Gwen: "Chris! Cody! Where are my drumsticks? I know one of you two did it. Get back here! Ugh. Mal, do you know where the boys hid my drumsticks? I need them for tomorrow!"

Robbie: "Shit. Goddammit. Shit. Shit shit shit. MUTTI! I can't find the permission slip you signed! Yes, I know you told me to put it in my folder immediately so I won't lose it. I forgot! Yes, in the time it took me to walk upstairs and down the hall. Mutti, please, help me; you always find it."

Akash: "Robbie. *balanced inhale* Please, please tell me you did not move the hair gel. Robbie, it's the only thing that makes my hair look good. No, I don't look like Jimmy Neutron when I put it in! Robbie, did you hide it on purpose? No, so where is it, then? You don't know. You set it down, and then forgot. *Sigh* it's okay. It's fine. I'll just go like this then."

Jedi: "Oh, dear. Er, Carmen? You have not happened to run across my tablet, have you? Yes, I know this is quite irregular. I have never misplaced it before, but it appears to have slipped my mind. No, I did not get a lot of sleep last night, but that is typical. Perhaps... I may have left it in my quarters. I shall look there."

Carmen: "Where is my throw pillow? Fine, it's not my throw pillow, but I always sit in that spot on that couch, and I lean on the throw pillow that is no longer there! Yes, I know there are other throw pillows, but I don't CARE! Jedi, that's mine. Did one of the kids take it? I bet it was Mr. Stafford. Ugh, I'll go ask him."

“(sighs, done with life) Alright, what did you do now?”

Lexi: *disappointed sigh* "Can anyone tell me what happened?"

Maddie: *irritated sigh* "Hm. What happened?"

Ash: *exhales while buzzing lips* "Okay, what's going on?"

Gwen: *deep tired sigh* "Alright. What did we do?"

Robbie: *dismayed sigh* "Oh, God, what did y'all do?"

Akash: *irritated sigh, then one to calm down* "It's okay, it's fine. What did you do?"

Jedi: *resigned sigh* "Please enlighten me as to what took place."

Carmen: *impatient sigh* "What could you have possibly done NOW?!"

This was so much fun, actually!

Tagging @sleepyowlwrites @dyrewrites @aalinaaaaaa @eccaiia @mk-writes-stuff

+ ANYONE ELSE

Your phrase is “Wow, look at that view. [Describe the view]”

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet

#the secret portal #teaspoon #tsp #oc tag game #my ocs #character voice #writers on tumblr #writing community #writers of tumblr #writing on tumblr #writeblr #writeblr community #writing tag game

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butwhatifidothis · 1 year ago

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It's funny how people once pointed out how Edelgard would say to Byleth that she didn't think that they belonged on the path that put them on her side - that Byleth wasn't meant to be here - to show off why CF was like. Not good. Because even the lord of the route is trying to tell the player that uhhh Byleth doesn't belong here, they're supposed to be on the other routes. Which checks with how the devs said that SS is the route the world-building is based on, and how within the game itself CF directly goes against SS' world-building.

It's like. It's like a pretty clear wink wink nudge nudge that the player Dun Goofed and was on the Bad Route with the Red Emperor who mows down any in her way. And which is further backed up by all the the bad implications in CF endings... and its mural... and throughout the story... and the explore dialogues... and Byleth's (and other characters') visible character regression...

But Edelstans have looked at that clear-as-day red flag through some damn fine rose-tinted glasses, and have completely turned that intent around. Nooo, we've got it all wrong, that wasn't any sort of nudge to the player that they're on the wrong path - that's Byleth defying their fate! That's them challenging what was meant for them to go down, and them forging their own path forward through the choices they made!

...Ignore how, if CF is an available route to go down, that would intrinsically make SS a choice as well. Because it is no longer the default in that scenario; one has to make the active choice to still side with the Church over Edelgard. Meaning, like. There is no fate to defy here.

...And ignore how this makes it sound as though this is the only choice Byleth makes about something in the game at that point. There's, well, AM and VW to consider, but even being a saint and ignoring the biggest flaw in this argument, there's still like. The Sealed Forest. You know, that moment when Byleth, not the player, chose to do something, of their own volition, and even against the wants of Rhea (the stand-in for fate, according to Edelstans)? Real funny how that never seems to ever be a factor in Edelstans' arguments about why Byleth needs Edelgard to learn how to make choices - they can do it just fine.

Just like they, Byleth, and not the player, chooses to side with Rhea and not Edelgard as the "default."

Like they NEVER seem to see that as a possibility! That Byleth CHOSE to side with Rhea! They say that's Byleth *~submitting to the whims of fate~* instead of giving Byleth any agency, because that would mean that Byleth would by default choose to defy Edelgard.

But you know what character does attribute Byleth's choosing Rhea as a result of their willful choices and agency?

I refer to an old screenshot:

The game is the one that is saying that Byleth actively and deliberately chose to go onto SS. Not only does nothing in the game support the idea that choosing Rhea/SS is something outside of Byleth's control/a result of strictly fate and nothing else, it literally says the complete opposite. But Edelstans are so hard-set on believing that Byleth can't be anything without Edelgard that they, ironically enough, force them to be by her side and deny any agency Byleth may have that takes them away from her. It's just... a sight to behold really lmao

#anti edelgard #anti-edelgard #edelgard critical #edelgard discourse #just to be safe #funnily enough they force Byleth to have exactly one path available for them to gain individuality on #which already by itself is hilarious. but the path they choose for that to happen is... the route where Byleth goes back #to being the detached expressionless swordhand they were at the start of the game #and not any of the routes where that uh. doesn't happen to them lmao #and this really does seem to stem primarily from Edelgard saying that CF isn't the path Byleth was meant to be on near the end of CF #like that's less of a red flag and more Edelgard directly turning to the audience and saying ''CF is not a good route''#but it gets turned into her being a poor lil' darling who doesn't feel she deserves Byweph uwu #meanwhile the supposed stand-in for fate straight up says that it... wasn't fate that ''made'' Byleth go on SS; it was their active choices #so that's um. awkward lmao

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kyoukris · 3 months ago

Note

i am holding this up to you and politely begging for you to infodump about Lysander if you can 🎤

MANNN idk how long this ask has been in my inbox (too long probably) but uh uhhh lemme just put down a list of things about them that i can think of rn

(I might have mentioned before but) Lysander is genderfluid! They use any pronouns but do go through periods of feeling more masculine or feminine and these periods last a long time due to how she's lived for over 500 years and so time passes differently for her.

She found out very early in life that she was genderfluid since her parent was too! Her parent Falril, a half-elf, went by any pronouns. She looked up to him so so much when they alive together.

She's also bi, poly, and asexual. She's been married twice, and has raised about 14 children between those marriages!! Even though she had acute amnesia as a vampire, her desire to have a big family, both times, was definitely something she wanted in life having been raised as the youngest of 6 children herself. This was something she couldn't exactly remember, but stayed with her regardless.

She lived as a vampire for about ~463 years, during which she had no memory of her previous life, so even having died near her home she had no idea where she was or Who she was, only remembering her first name and nothing else, which is why she wandered off trying to figure out what she was and what she was supposed to do. She was in hiding for some years before meeting her first spouse, Selene.

Her childhood friend Malvicor was the vampire that turned her, having been attacked himself while out hunting, he became very scared and lashed out when Lysander's parents (the local physicians) couldn't help him. Lysander didn't exactly help things when she kicked him out of their home and forbade him from coming back for how he treated Falril specifically, and Malvicor held contempt for Lysander until he died and turned, finding her by chance after having made plans to leave their village before anyone found out. He took out his pain on her, killed her, and left her. She eventually woke up as a vampire herself, having just barely been able to turn she woke up with zero memory of her life until that point.

To this day she has a tendency to loom over others as a parental figure, not intentionally trying to mother/father people but she just tends to care in that parental way and it just so happens all her fellow guild companions are centuries younger than herself.

She keeps in contact with all her living descendants and her 3 remaining living children, taking all her free time to visit them and their families.

She has cussed maybe 5 times in her whole life. She is not one to use language like that but I allow her to say one swear each chapter of our campaign when she gets really pissed off. The last time I allowed it last chapter was when one of her twin daughters was being pursued by vampires, having attacked one of them they retaliated and realized she was a vampire herself, commented on this, and she laughed and said "I'm going to knock your fucking head off."

HERE'S ART I DID OF THAT SESSION WHEN SHE SAVED HER BABY GIRL (she's a grown ass gnome woman)

idk maybe ill dump more info later i gotta get ready for work soon :9

#asks #my pc #mwaaaaah i love lysander sm seriously one of my fav ocs i ever made

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thebookofeibon · 9 months ago

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a sweeter alternative

Rating: T Chapters: 1/1 Words: 6868 Fandom: Ensemble Stars Ships: ReiKao Relevant "tags": blood time. uh sex mentions and allusions i don't write it though i'm not at that comfort level yet.

“You know how he uses it in place of blood?” Kaoru kept his eyes on Rei, catching Adonis’s nod in the corner on his eye. “Well the past couple of months, it hasn’t been doing the job.” “Huh? What do you mean past couple of months?” Koga eyed Rei. “He’s been drinking twice the amount he usually does, he’s been drinking different brands, and he’s still slow as if he’s low on energy.”

i'll add squidgeworld link when i post to there

for now u can read under the cut!

i suppose i can start putting my notes here in the mean time. uhhh this one's been in the works since october, just chipping away at it here and there. idr what the inspo was i think i just wanted to address the vampire thing.

his vampirism works how i want it to work bc it's a disability and i am also disabled and that's that. idc that vampirism isn't real

this is in my little series i had on ao3 where they live together in an apartment and i don't know the timeline for realsies i'm making shit up. this is actually the first one in the series to not have a pinocchioP title and it's bc. i couldn't find one. what can i say he doesn't have any vampire songs. the vocaloid vampire song also didn't fit but it was the working title of this.

i'll also make a page for this series on this blog since. gestures to no longer using ao3

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Rei-kun.”

“Mmm.”

“Don’t ‘mmm’ me, you heard exactly what I just said.”

Rei doesn’t answer, entirely pissing Kaoru off. “You have had two large containers of tomato juice this week and you’re still falling asleep in random places. It’s not working the way it used to.” Rei’s grip on his pillow grows tighter as he really pushes the limits his face can go into it. “It’s 8pm, and I’ve been trying to wake you up for almost two hours.” He walked over to the bed to take the pillow, only to find Rei’s resistance to be much stronger than it should be. “This. Has been happening. For two months!!!” He tugged at the pillow with all of his might, though he really couldn’t get anywhere with it. “You need blood!” A final tug that still resulted in nothing causes Kaoru to let go, huffing as he caught his breath. “I don’t pretend to know your condition, but I fear that staying strictly with tomato juice isn’t going to work anymore!”

Rei stayed with his head buried in the pillow, only letting out a groan in response.

“You’re acting like a child.”

Rei mumbled a response into the pillow, completely inaudible.

“I can’t hear you.” A beat. Two. “You are impossible.” He huffed, walking with a little too much force out of the room.

Only when he was sure Kaoru was out of sight did Rei lift his head to look out into the living room. He frowned, eyebrows scrunched together in…it’s not anger, it’s not disappointment, dismay?

He didn’t really want to accept that Kaoru was right. Rei has known for a few months now that something was wrong with his juice intake, but he’d hoped that it wasn’t obvious, and it hasn’t really been to the kids. But Kaoru? Of course he’d figure out, it was dumb to even entertain the idea that the man he lives with and sleeps next to wouldn’t notice something was wrong. He laid his head sideways on the pillow, still looking out into the hallway. He was still tired.

He even tried changing brands, thinking maybe his default brand was the problem, but after trying all the ones available on the market, something else that Kaoru for sure would’ve noticed, he also began to come to the same conclusion.

This vampire does need blood to survive.

He began questioning family members after the first month, especially those he knew took alternatives for blood. But he didn’t receive answers he liked.

“Yeah, it stopped being viable after I turned 25, like its good when I’m in a pinch but I don’t rely on it anymore”

“I stopped relying solely on tomato juice when puberty hit, it’s still my primary source but I do need actual blood every other month to be at top shape.”

“There’s no alternative that’ll provide you accurately with the amount of iron our bodies need. As an idol, I’m surprised you’ve made it this long before realizing the faults in your juice alternative.”

Rei’s brought out of his head by the sound of a loud “clink” on the bedside table and he looks up to spot Kaoru, placing a full glass of tomato juice on the bedside table.

“Decided to show your face after all?” Kaoru teased, ruffling Rei’s bed head.

“You just said the juice isn’t working.” Rei grumbled, eyeing the damned glass. He hates this brand, he’s learned. Too sugary for his tastes.

“Well, you have a whole thing still and you’re fighting this theory so it's the best I can do.” He shrugged and walked out again.

Rei watched him with a scowl. “Come back here.”

Kaoru turned his head back pensively. “Hmmm? Does his wicked highness finally see fit to have my offering?” He turned around with a grin and a bow.

“What’s wrong with me just wanting to have you near?” He didn’t let up on his scowl. “Senior year you would be appalled by this behavior.”

“Hmmm? Why are you so caught up with how senior year me would feel? This is nothing! What senior year me would be devastated by is the amount of time we spend making out. Or how much sex we’ve had.” Kaoru smiled as he walked back into the bedroom. “Seriously Rei-kun! My one time of being pissed off at you for biting me has been waaaaay overshadowed by how many times you have given me head in the last, what? Four years? Since that whole ordeal.”

Rei buried his face again by the end of Kaoru’s ramble, burning red ears all that’s visible of his immodesty. He was right, technically speaking. High school Kaoru is at this point a different person than his current partner, that Kaoru would faint if he even knew they lived together.

“Honestly, Rei-kun?” Kaoru was next to his ear suddenly, causing Rei to jump and look over to catch the smug grin spreading across his tan skin. “I think it’d be suuuper hot if you took my blood during sex.”

“Gross, did talking about my mouth get you horny?” Rei pushed Kaoru’s face away and reburied his own.

“Hmmm? You act like you’ve never thought about it~.” He can hear the grin he still has. Hands grasp at his shoulders and begin to rub. “Like you don’t linger when giving me hickeys, or when you can’t help yourself and still bite slightly too hard.” He pressed harder into the knot Rei had there, the vampire letting out a moan.

“You almost sound like you want me to feed on you for your pleasure more than my well being.” He grumbled into his pillow.

“I can bring up non-sexual examples too~” Another tight push against Rei’s shoulder has the vampire letting out a small whimper. “Whenever we cuddle, you always nuzzle into my neck at least once. In fact, it’s more rare that you don’t immediately bury your face into my neck. I’m always thinking, wow, I feel super vulnerable with how close his mouth is to my neck!”

Rei whined into his pillow, half in embarrassment, half in pleasure from the massage. He turned his head so he wasn’t talking into it anymore. “Really? Always?”

Kaoru laughed. “So you don’t even do it on purpose?”

“No!”

“When I wear my turtlenecks, sometimes I catch you staring at my neck when I move in a way that exposes more skin.”

“Kaoru-kun, this is embarrassing me. I’m going to cry. Do you want me to cry?” He pouted, holding back a whine when Kaoru removed his hands from him. “Why do you hate me? What did I ever do to you?”

“Not drink my blood.” The pillow Rei had been attached to this whole time quickly left his hands and collided with Kaoru’s face.

-----------------------------

It was a bad day from the minute Rei woke up, but they had an important media interview today so he really pushed himself to get out of bed and face the day.

Honestly? It’s been a bad week for the vampire. With no real reason for his energy to be completely depleted, he understood what it meant. He really didn’t want to admit it though, he really didn’t want to have to rely on blood.

“Hey, Rei-kun.” Kaoru nudged at him on the couch, gaining only a groan from the vampire. “I know you’re tired, let’s try and get some food in you before we have to go.” Rei opened his eyes at that, already concerned.

“What time is it?”

“Really? It’s only been 20 minutes since you woke up.”

“…Really?” He almost wanted to cry at that, it’s felt like an hour.

Kaoru frowned at him. “Seriously…I know it’s an off day for you but even that’s a little concerning. Come on, let’s go eat.”

They stopped at a diner nearby that Kaoru likes, ordering something small each with some coffee. Coffee doesn’t usually work on Rei unless he’s really lucky, but it’s the thought that counts here.

“Oi-hey! No falling asleep.” Kaoru tapped on Rei’s plate with his fork to make noise, startling Rei from what he supposed was dozing. “Finish eating, maybe that’ll keep you awake.”

He stared down at his half-eaten omelette with a frown, picking up his fork again. Every little bit helps.

“We’re here, wake up.” Kaoru nudges Rei awake again. The cab had come to a stop and Kaoru was in the middle of paying her. Rei seemed to be only capable of frowning today, mainly at himself. Kaoru glanced to him, offering a smile as he started to push Rei out the door.

“This is the fourth time in the last two hours he’s fallen asleep.” Kaoru sighed. “I know I shouldn’t complain, it’s out of his control, but it’s really frustrating today.” Rei blinked his eyes open, watching Kaoru and Koga talk in the waiting room outside of the recording studio.

“Maybe once he gets talking he’ll stay awake.” Adonis shrugged beside Rei on the couch. “Oh, good morning Sakuma-san.” He smiled at him, and Rei couldn’t help but return the smile.

Kaoru sighed again, much more audibly than before. He dug into his bag and pulled out a juicebox, tossing it to Rei. “Please, this is just an hour and a half, Rei-kun.”

Rei fumbled to catch the juicebox, but he did nonetheless, and he carefully detached the straw and stuck it into the top. “I’m sorry, you know I’m not usually this bad…” He sipped slowly on the box.

“The weather’s kinda whack right now, more than usual, s’probably what’s affecting you.” Koga crossed his arms. “Plus the thing you were complainin’ about the other day with your juice.” He gestured at him with his chin.

“Yeah…” Rei deflated a bit into the couch, feeling everyone’s eyes on him.

“What’s wrong with your juice?” Adonis tilted his head.

“You know how he uses it in place of blood?” Kaoru kept his eyes on Rei, catching Adonis’s nod in the corner on his eye. “Well the past couple of months, it hasn’t been doing the job.”

“Huh? What do you mean past couple of months?” Koga eyed Rei.

“He’s been drinking twice the amount he usually does, he’s been drinking different brands, and he’s still slow as if he’s low on energy.” Rei tried to shrink down as much as he could in the couch, trying to avoid eye contact. It’s embarrassing. Kaoru tutted. “You are so annoying sometimes.”

“Then…are you saying he needs blood?” Adonis tilted his head.

“Exactly. And he’s refusing to take any.”

Koga clicked his tongue, then finally brought his eyes off Rei to look at Kaoru again. “We can’t really force him.”

Kaoru kept his eyes on his partner however. “…No, I suppose not.”

“UNDEAD?” A woman’s voice called out, breaking the tension. “We’re ready to get you guys set up.”

-----------------------------

Rare, these days, for Rei to turn down showering with Kaoru when they got home, and with how his health has been, he really should’ve taken the opportunity to share the shower with him. But he wanted time alone to think.

He’d really been trying to ignore it, not even out of pride really. He’s grown accustomed to admitting when he needs help. He has friends willing to accommodate his needs and he couldn’t be more grateful for them because of it.

It’s not pride, it’s…arrogance. That’s it. The refusal to admit that he’s wrong. It’s been several months now, at this point the tomato juice hasn’t been helping longer than it has this year. It’s at least worth a try now to take blood, no matter how little he actually wants to do it.

It partly has to do with Kaoru’s refusal that Easter, the fear of hurting him always at the back of his mind, but a lot does have to do with how he just doesn’t want to drink blood. He’s trying so hard to be human, he’s doing everything he can to be human. Drinking blood is not a human activity!

And he hates the taste of it!!! That’s why he settled with tomato juice, because it actually tastes good!!! Why should he have to do something he can’t even-

“Your turn.” Kaoru walked past Rei brooding on the couch and ruffled his hair, drawing him out of his thoughts for the moment. He looked up, lifting his head out of his hands, just when had he slouched over? He probably looked just as crazed as he felt. “Don’t think too hard in there, you might overheat.” Kaoru smiled.

Rei huffed a laugh, relaxing his shoulders a bit. “Yeah, of course.” He stood up with a few joint cracks and began to walk up the bathroom-

“I’m serious though. Try to sit while you’re in there, and leave the door unlocked, okay?” Kaoru dropped his smile. Ah, alright.

“Mm, of course.”

The shower was nice, he supposed, though it would be quicker to stand, sitting at least gave him time to think again. He really could just ask. It doesn’t need to have some special occasion. Though it’s kind of embarrassing at this point to admit defeat, after being urged to do this from family and friends for so long now. And again, sometimes just the smell of blood was enough to upset his stomach, thinking about the smell is even-

A trail of blood running down the drain with the water appears and it startles him, jumping back a bit to try and locate where the bleeding is coming from, knocking some bottles down in the process. He lifted a hand to his face and sighed as he drew it back. A nosebleed. Okay, sure, this might as well happen.

The bathroom door opened a crack. “You alright?” Right. The noise.

“Yea-” A cough, “Yeah I’m fine- Nosebleed.” He breathed in, head going light. “Could you come turn the water off, dear.” He lifted a hand to his head. A vampire who can’t even look at blood, how inane.

Kaoru opened the door further and walked in, opening the curtain on the side closer to the valve to shut it off. “Are you alright?” He asked again.

“A bit lightheaded is all, mind getting me some tissues?” He did his best to keep his head tilted downward until Kaoru pulled the curtain back, sitting on his knees, with a few tissues in hand. Instead of letting Rei take them from him, he instead reached in himself to block the nostril the blood was coming from.

“I told you not to think too hard.” Kaoru laughed, using his other hand to cradle Rei’s head. Rei leaned into his touch instinctively, doing his best to keep his head lowered. “It’s hot in here too, were you trying to instigate a nosebleed?”

Rei glowered at him, taking a deep breath in. It was a joke, he understands, and Kaoru simply chuckled at the stare. He pulled the tissue away momentarily to assess the bleed, then quickly repositioned it to a cleaner area to hold against the nostril again. Rei sighed, his health was never going to be easy, was it?

-----------------------------

Rei lie on his back on the bed, shirtless as he didn’t want to risk staining any shirts, fingers interlocked over his chest as he stared up at the ceiling, wad of tissue paper plugged up his nose to get the remaining blood taken care of. Kaoru entered the room after a few more minutes, bringing with him some tart slices that he had bought earlier that day.

“I got one for both of us~! Recovering from a shower nosebleed seems fitting time to eat it!” He smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. “Usually eating in bed is against our rules but what’s the harm in bending this once?” He set the plate down on his lap and patted the spot next to him. “Come, sit.”

“…I…” Rei squinted with tightly knit brows, not looking away from the ceiling.

“Hm?” Kaoru was already picking up his slice to eat.

Rei stayed silent a moment before finally shifting his gaze to Kaoru. It softened when he saw how content he was with the bite he’d taken, a small smile stretching across the blond’s lips that he probably didn’t even notice he had. He opened his mouth again, then closed it when nothing came out and turned back to the ceiling.

Kaoru’s head tilted. “Babe, I’m not a mind reader, and if I was, your’s would be impossible anyways.”

“…” Rei turned his head completely away, embarrassed just a little. “I need blood.” It was quiet, small, not meant to leave this one piece of furniture. He refused to look in Kaoru’s direction. He could already feel his gaze on him and he wasn’t really keen on the teasing that would follow.

But there wasn’t a verbal response, he heard some movement, likely Kaoru setting the plate down, then felt the bed move as slowly his light was obstructed. Kaoru’s hand landed next to his head and he frowned, still refusing to look up at him.

“You open yourself up to me and yet refuse to look at me? You wound me, Rei-kun.” Kaoru sighed. Using the hand on the opposite side of Rei’s face, he lifted Rei’s chin to face him upwards, smiling a little at the blush covering his cheeks, then frowned when Rei still focused his gaze on the wall. With a huff, he pulled his waist up further onto the bed and placed his legs on either side of the vampire, sitting down onto his stomach. “What’s a guy got to do to get even a glance, huh?” He scowled as he watched Rei’s gaze shift not towards him, but upwards to further avoid looking at Kaoru.

Rei’s hands fidget on his chest, unlocking themselves to tap idly without thought. Kaoru clicked his tongue watching them, evidence that Rei isn’t entirely spaced out from the moment. In one swift motion, they’re taken from their place on his chest and pinned above his head, taking Rei off guard enough to finally look back at him with wide eyes.

“There we go~ All I had to do was surprise you!” Kaoru grinned, releasing his grip on Rei’s hands to lean in and place a kiss on his lips. “I don’t like being ignored, you know~” To punctuate, he pulled the tissue out of Rei’s nose, only taking a moment to examine how fresh the blood on it was before tossing it to the floor.

Rei watched the tissue fall to the floor with a frown. “Gross.” He couldn’t help but laugh, though, when Kaoru tried to go in for another kiss. “Hold on, hold on.” He placed a hand in front of his face to catch Kaoru’s, laughing when Kaoru still tried to push through. “Down boy!” He jokingly raised his voice.

Kaoru grinned. “Down?” The glint in his eye was mischievous. Rei sighed as Kaoru took the hand placed against his face and laced his fingers with it. “Easy command~” He followed through and started to kiss down Rei’s neck, hovering when Rei’s laugh bubbled out.

“You’re going to agitate my nosebleed, then I’m going to get blood all over the bed.” He squeezed Kaoru’s hand, using his other to slide into his blond hair.

“Oh you’ll be fine.” Kaoru hummed as he trailed further down. “We have tissues in here if it comes back.” He paused at Rei’s collarbone, glancing up at him. “It doesn’t help when you’re encouraging me, either.” He smiled, free hand aimlessly wandering Rei’s chest. Rei grinned down at him, then gripped his hair and pulled back with enough force to pull him away. “Ah!” Kaoru laughed. “Hey!”

“As much as I’d like to continue,” Rei let go of his hair to dramatically drape his arm across his forehead and closed his eyes, “I am oh-so tired from losing blood-”

“Then take some of mine.” Kaoru narrowed his eyes playfully.

Rei opened his eyes to peek down to him again. “Aside from the tart, have you eaten recently?”

Kaoru blinked, then looked up in thought. “Uhh…”

Rei clicked his tongue with a smile. “No blood drinking tonight then, dear.” He lifted his arm off his head to cup Kaoru’s cheek. “Thank you for the offer, though.”

“Come on, we’re in bed, it’s not like I’m going to go on stage right after.” Kaoru pouted.

“No, you’re still wanting to fool around though, which is still quite a rigorous activity, don’t you think?” Rei’s thumb brushed against Kaoru’s lips, which only prompted the blond to open them and take the digit into his mouth. “Kaoru-kun.”

“We can always stop if it gets too much~?” Kaoru leaned down again to be just in front of Rei’s lips. “I can be the one resting?” He lowered his voice as he lowered himself to brush lips.

Rei ran over the options in his head, subconsciously wetting his lips. Their hands let go of each other, Rei’s landing on Kaoru’s thigh and Kaoru’s coming to Rei’s face to tip him far enough to close the distance.

He still wasn’t keen on the idea of drinking blood, thinking about the taste is almost enough to make him pull away from the warmth of Kaoru’s mouth in disgust. He could feasibly take only a little bit, work himself up slowly to drinking more over time. He slowly pushed himself to sit up, Kaoru taking the hint to help ease the transfer of positions. They parted from each other temporarily to allow Kaoru to lie down and Rei to climb on top of him, then came back to each other as quickly as possible. Rei shuffled his hips further down on Kaoru so he could trail down his neck with ease.

Were they not idols, in some other universe, Rei would love to mark Kaoru up as much as possible, he hesitated in one spot on his neck and debated if it was too high up to cover with a turtleneck before deciding it was. He moved lower before taking the skin in his lips. Not biting, not here. A sigh leaves Kaoru’s mouth as Rei’s hand travels up underneath his shirt. Makeup would definitely need to be used to cover this one, but it won’t be as noticeable.

“A bit high up, don’t you think?” Kaoru carded his fingers through Rei’s hair.

Rei took a moment longer before pulling away, using both hands now to pull Kaoru’s shirt up, which Kaoru obliged and lifted his arms to remove the article. “I just wanted to do that one.” Once the shirt was removed, he moved back to where he was and traveled further, pausing once again in a spot, but this time to try and gauge where to bite. “I’ll only take a little…I’m not exactly…fond of the taste.” He hovered around a general area around Kaoru’s neck and collarbone.

“Alright, fair enough.”

“Don’t be offended if I don’t like it.”

“You’re still human, I think it’s rather normal to dislike the taste of blood.”

The reassurance was nice, it was almost the push that Rei needed to dive in. He checked the pulse in one spot and took a deep breath in before pressing his lips to the spot, then lightly placed his fangs against it. It’s not like he hasn’t bitten Kaoru before, or drawn his blood from a bite either, but those were different. Those were just bites to bite, this is fairly common practice in any couple. This bite was different, this is…

Kaoru’s fingers slowly brushed through Rei’s hair and it almost made Rei laugh. Why is the guy getting blood taken from him in such a monstrous way more relaxed about this than the one taking the blood?

No, he can’t be anxious about this when he’s already poised to strike. With another deep breath taken through his nose, he bites down, incisors piercing through Kaoru’s unblemished skin. Kaoru lets out a grunt at the bite, fingers gripping somewhat tighter into Rei’s hair. It takes everything in Rei to stay biting and let the blood into his mouth.

It wasn’t as bad as he had been dreading, not necessarily good either, but he isn’t immediately repelled by the taste and texture. It tasted like blood, that’s for sure, but perhaps it’s the thought that it’s Kaoru’s blood that has Rei thinking that it has something unique to it, a sweetness that Koga and Adonis’s blood didn’t have. The indifference didn't last for much longer, however, as the texture on his tongue began to become too much for him to handle and he released Kaoru, licking the puncture wounds as he had been taught in the past.

He pulled away completely to look Kaoru in the eyes once he was sure the blood wouldn’t flow too much more. Kaoru looked at him with a smile, eyes only slightly distant. “Are you alright?” Rei broke the silence first.

“I am, I think if you had gone any longer I would’ve had a problem, though.” He chuckled. “Are you alright?”

Rei nodded, returning Kaoru’s smile. “I am…I’m sorry, I should’ve stopped sooner, I spaced out.”

“I thought you didn’t like the taste?” Kaoru clasped his hands together to rest on his chest, mirroring Rei’s earlier pose.

“I…didn’t really. But it tasted different than I thought it would.” Rei huffed, averting his gaze. “I was distracted by that thought for a moment longer than I should’ve been.”

Kaoru chuckled. “Perhaps the necessity of it is what changed your thought process?”

“Perhaps.”

“Rei-kun.” He unlaced his fingers and slid his hands to Rei’s thighs, Rei’s gaze coming back to him. Kaoru’s smile widened, eyes squinting. “Ready to resume where we were?”

Rei blinked, then grinned back at him. “Wasting no time at all, are you?”

Kaoru’s hands traveled up Rei’s thighs to his hips. “What can I say? You’re like, glowing right now, and it’s kinda hot.”

Rei chuckled, then leaned back down to kiss him.

Kaoru doesn’t tell him that he still has blood on his chin, and when Rei’s nosebleed does come back a few minutes later, it covers up the prior blood when it leaks onto Kaoru’s face mid-kiss, making Kaoru laugh. They absolutely have to clean the sheets after this.

-----------------------------

It’s immediately apparent the next day at practice that Rei was feeling better. He was more energetic, more aware, more talkative. Koga and Adonis didn’t comment on it until Kaoru entered the practice room late after leaving his badly scheduled photoshoot and changed to a t-shirt, revealing just enough of his neck that the bite marks are visible.

Koga almost growled at him. “Why do you need to wear a collar that loose?”

He grinned. “It’s easier to practice choreography in loose clothing, isn’t it? Besides, don’t I usually wear shirts like this to practice?” He started his warm up stretches, eyeing Koga.

“So you let Sakuma-san take your blood?” Adonis chimed in to try to break up the tension.

“Mhm~ Though it’s more like he let himself take my blood.” He switched to a new stretch as he talked.

“That’s good.” Adonis smiled and looked over to Rei. “You seem a lot better.”

Rei returned the smile and began to start talking when Koga cut him off.

“Should Hakaze-san even be at practice today then?” He said it almost accusatory, pointing with his thumb over to him.

“He didn’t take a lot.”

“Mm, as Kaoru-kun says, I only took a small amount to ease myself into drinking blood. As you know, I don’t like the taste.” Rei nodded. “But yes, even that small amount did make me feel much better than I have in a while.”

“What made you decide to do it finally?” Adonis had shifted onto the floor to help Kaoru with his last stretches.

Rei hummed, closing his eyes in thought. “I am tired of feeling so weak. Kaoru-kun had me sit in the shower last night because he was worried I’d faint standing up and hurt myself. Then when I was in there, I got a nosebleed that usually wouldn’t be a problem, but since I’ve been this way, it nearly knocked me out.” He opened his eyes. “I need to do what is best for my body, I suppose.”

Adonis nodded. “I understand, I’m glad you feel better then, even if it requires doing something you don’t like. It’s like taking a medication with a bad taste.”

“Exactly, Adonis-kun.” Rei smiled.

Kaoru stood up with one last stretch. “And with Rei-kun feeling better, we should get on our practice, hm?”

“Agh, yeah we need to catch you up.” Koga groaned. “Alright. We’re moving on then.”

-----------------------------

As spring began rolling in, it became harder for Kaoru to cover up the bite marks on his neck, and they weren’t exactly keen on flaunting their relationship so publicly since they’re idols, so problem solving began. Because of Rei’s vampirism, he was able wean himself off of taking from Kaoru as often as he was—which was only every other week, changing it to every three weeks—and was able to play off his new fatigue as a sun problem, which wasn’t entirely a lie either. Supplementing it with tomato juice offered some extra relief, even if it wasn’t as good as blood.

Thankfully, there are other places to get the best blood flow that also weren’t dangerous for Kaoru. In a pinch, Rei could go for the inner elbow as if he was a doctor, though it’s not easy to bite there. If he’s well aware of what clothing Kaoru will be wearing for the next week and a half, Rei can go for practically any spot that’s likely to be mostly covered.

But the best area that is a catch all for privacy and decency, they found, was the thigh, which unless for some reason Kaoru wanted to wear more revealing swimwear, was completely hidden. Unfortunately, this required proper planning ahead, as it wasn’t something they could do last minute in a public place by sneaking away for a few moments.

“I suppose it was only a matter of time before we had to start planning our sex lives out.” Kaoru laughed as Rei dragged him to the bedroom.

Rei snorted in response. “It doesn’t have to end with sex every time, dear. We watched a movie after the last time.” He lightly pushed Kaoru to sit on the bed. “Besides, we’re not completely scheduling that out, this would be an outlier.” He lowered himself to his knees and scooted towards Kaoru’s legs.

“I suppose you’re right.” Kaoru grinned down as Rei unbuttons his pants. Rei looked up at him as he slid the jeans down. “You’re so pretty.”

Rei hummed, slipping his fingers into Kaoru’s waistband. “I’m beginning to think all this is just a means for you to get off instead of a means of me getting energy.” He slid his underwear down, revealing both thighs, one of which was still very bruised from the last feed. He heard Kaoru laugh above him.

With his own teasing remark and the bruised leg in sight, Rei hesitated as he really took in the severity of the situation again. He rested his hands on the inside of Kaoru’s thighs as he sat back on the balls of his feet with a frown. A minute passed and then there’s a hand on his chin, tilting his head to eye level. He looked past Kaoru, unable to meet his eyes all of a sudden.

“This is for you, babe.” Kaoru moved his head to try and catch Rei’s gaze. “I’m playing it up a bit, I’m sorry if it came out serious.” He smiled.

Rei still avoided looking him in the eye, staring at his forehead instead, then looked back down to his bruised leg. “Perhaps we should bump the frequency down to once a month…” He mumbled. “Or drop it entirely for the summer…”

Kaoru frowned. “It’s your life, if that’s what you want to do, we can. I’m just concerned about your energy levels if we were to drop this entirely, you’ve been much more active since we started doing this.”

He couldn’t fight the claim, this is the most awake he’s been since before the war, it’s kind of nice, all things considered. The bruises are turning green as they get closer to healing. “I don’t know.” It was hard for him to admit, he’s so accustomed to having to know everything.

Kaoru watched him for a moment, then sighed, sitting up. “Come here.” He held his arms open. “Let’s rest today, then. We have no other responsibilities until tomorrow afternoon.” Rei stood up, wrapped his arms around Kaoru, and immediately shifted all of his weight on him, causing them both to fall back on the bed. “Whoa!” He laughed, patting Rei’s back. “Hold on hold on my pants are still down-“

“Just kick them off.” Rei mumbled into the crook of Kaoru’s neck.

“Not when you still have pants on! The sensory problems I’ll have are chilling to think of!”

“Then take mine off.”

Kaoru laughed. “Fine!”

-----------------------------

As the weather cooled down again, Rei permitted himself to go back to two feedings a month, as Kaoru had begun to wear higher collars again. There was something about feeding from his neck that Rei didn’t have problems with like he had with the legs. Perhaps it was the cliche of it, or the intimacy, or the way it looks when he’s done.

It was frustrating to him how much he clearly needed the blood, life could never be simple for him. He pulled away from Kaoru with hesitation, watching the blood trickle down his collarbone for a moment. Kaoru’s hand in his hair ran through his curls lightly. It was the intimacy, he decided, that drew him more to the neck than anywhere else.

“Still find blood gross?” Kaoru whispered, not so much for privacy as they sat alone in the meeting room, waiting for their juniors, but more so from the lack of energy after having given it to Rei.

Rei licked at the wound, peppering light kisses around it. “A bit.” He murmured back.

“You’re not fooling me, you know. Perhaps you just like my blood~ I’m your exception now~.” With his other arm available now, he pat Rei’s back.

Rei chuckled and sat back, looking down at Kaoru’s face. “I didn’t take too much, did I?” He brushed some of Kaoru’s hair out of his face.

“I didn’t eat necessarily well today is all, no worries.” He let his arms fall to Rei’s thighs.

Rei idly fixed Kaoru’s collar to cover the bite, mainly to make sure it’s coverable. “And you let me drink from you? Bad Kaoru-kun.”

Kaoru opened his mouth to speak when the meeting room door opened, Rei quickly threw himself down next to Kaoru on the off chance it wasn't Koga and Adonis coming in. Koga paused at the door at the sound of Rei hitting the couch quite heavily.

“Should I be concerned?” He eyed them, watching Rei sigh.

“No, I was just being safe.” Rei smiled.

“You have blood on your chin, it wouldn’t have worked.” Koga sighed as he walked in, followed by Adonis, whose eyes widened at the sight. Rei bristled and lifted his sleeve to wipe at it, lightly slapping Kaoru’s arm.

“I wanted to see how far into the meeting we’d get before you noticed.” Kaoru grinned. “Thought it’d be funny.”

Adonis sat down across from them. “I fear it wouldn’t have lasted very long.”

Koga closed the door before sitting beside Adonis. “You two are disgusting.”

“You say that yet you haven’t complained about Rei not being active recently, so you have to pick~” Kaoru shot him a very cheeky grin.

“What is this, a game? I have 0 control over you freaks.” Koga scoffed. “You know, when you stopped flirting with girls I was glad because it made you less annoying, then you immediately began flirting with Sakuma-san-“ He squinted. “And you just dropped the honorific! Shameless!”

Kaoru cackled at his response, throwing his head back as his chest shook for a moment.

“Oh my, you did drop the honorific.” Rei smiled, a hand coming up to his face to try and hide his smile.

“Both of you! Disgusting!”

Adonis smiled, letting out a small chuckle before speaking. “As fun as this interaction is, we do need to discuss funding.”

Rei beamed. “Yes yes.” He clapped his hands twice. “Serious mode everyone!”

-----------------------------

Adonis and Kaoru left the booth to go to the bathroom while they waited for their food to arrive, leaving Koga and Rei sitting across from each other. Rei hummed a song he had been fine-tuning for the last week while watching the direction of the bathroom. He faded out his humming as he glanced to Koga, feeling the other’s gaze piercing through him. “What’s on your mind, Koga-kun?”

Koga bristled for a second before sighing softly. “Are you happy? With drinking blood?” He frowned. crossing his arms.

Rei blinked, turning so he could look properly at his friend. “What do you mean?”

He slanted his lips as he thought of an answer. “You hate blood. Is it worth the energy?”

Rei thought for a moment, humming softly as he did. “I wonder the same thing, sometimes.” Is what he comes up with. “It’s different, having all this energy again.”

Koga huffed. “I don’t really think that answers the question.”

Rei closed his eyes, picturing the image of blood running down Kaoru’s neck. A year ago it would’ve made him queasy to think about drinking it, but now he felt indifferent towards it. “I guess I just don’t have an answer. It’s complicated.”

Koga was quiet, glancing to the bathroom’s direction again. “If the two of you weren’t dating, would you still do it?”

That was something that hadn’t really occurred to him. Would he? He can’t even imagine another reality where he was in this situation and he wasn’t in a loving relationship with Kaoru. He thought then about the possibility of it being Keito, or Wataru, maybe even Shu or Kanata. In each scenario, he could see it happening so long as they loved each other. “Hm…” But then again, would Keito be willing? The other oddballs would be different for sure, each one of them would have a different relationship to the act of blood drinking that just aren’t the same. “No. I think I’m only okay with it because of our relationship.”

Koga hummed. “Okay.”

“Any other questions?” Rei watched him as Koga tapped his fingers against his opposite arm. “You’re still curious, I can tell.”

“…Hakaze-san is fine with it?”

Rei laughed. “He was begging me to drink his blood, actually.”

Koga’s lips twitched almost into a smile before he caught himself. “Okay. That’s all I wanted to know.”

Rei opened his mouth to respond, only to close it as Adonis sat back down next to Koga and Kaoru next to him.

“Still no food?” Kaoru sighed. “I’m sooo hungry.”

“You went to piss, there’s no way the food would’ve come out in such a short amount of time.” Koga barked, uncrossing his arms.

“A man can hope! You’re hungry too, right, Adonis-kun?” Kaoru looked to Adonis pleadingly.

Adonis blinked, then raised his hands in defiance. “I am, but he’s right, we weren’t gone long enough.”

Rei smiled, watching the three of them bicker. It was strange to think about how distant the four of them were during school, he couldn’t imagine a world where they went their separate ways after graduation. The possibility of that was so real at one point, but now he’s sure only death would separate them, both as a unit and as friends, and these days, Rei didn’t feel that impending doom as hard as he once did.

“Rei, I can feel you thinking.” Kaoru nudged him out of thoughts. “Anything of note?” He smiled.

Rei hesitated to answer, then shook his head. “Just having my regular old man musings~ Pay me no mind, Kaoru.” Even though he had practically been waiting to drop the honorific since graduation, it still felt strange coming out of his mouth.

“Hmmm, I’ll have to pick your mind later then~” Kaoru glanced at the others, grinning when Koga made a disgusted face at them. He opened his mouth to say something more before the waiter finally came with their food. “Oh sweet!”

Rei kept his eyes on Kaoru, only glancing up at the waiter to give him a smile as his food was handed over.

Yeah, there’s no one else he would ever consider relying on for this. The only reality he cares about is this one.

“Are you not hungry, Sakuma-san?” Adonis didn’t necessarily sound concerned though, he surely understood Rei’s hesitance. He looked over to Adonis, then shook his head.

“My apologies, I was still caught up in my thoughts.” He put his hands together, said his thanks, and picked up his chopsticks, catching Koga shake his head at him out of the corner of his eye.

No other reality would be better than this one.

#enstars #ensemble stars #reikao #rei sakuma #Kaoru Hakaze #jenna named this one for me

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