#uhh what's girl karkat's name...

[aradidnt]

mmmmmwah!

[6arely-living]

HMMMMMM

Alright, sure, I’ll play your game

What are your “special interests” may I ask?

well there is hamilton: an american musical, wich is abt the life of alexander hamilton, one of the founding fathers. He had 8 kids, two of them named philip, both the oldest and the youngest.

also there is a thing called team seraphic sins ( @bittersweetcandies ) which is not even canon but it's supposed to be like the seraphims/angels + god of hazbin hotel, it has Leo/Leilel and Azrael, which are brothers (and my two favourite akndiaka) also Michael, Galim, Cassius, Joel, God, Gabriel, and Leroy, which are like the 8 main + God, and it's like a really cool au and uhh they all fuck idk

there is also homestuck and like DIRK STRIDER and I love karkat, and terezi and everyone and idk I'm so hyper abt this dk what to say, and uhh its just so dksiskahskaanjsk2hshwkwb it has infected my brain too much the minimum reference goes like KAKBSIAKABS HOMESTUCK ATAJDIS it's so stupid it's eating me rotten

also psychocuties which I love it but it's problematic and Tamakuz (the creatof) herself is problematic bc she drew the characters in n4z1 (ik I can say it but I'm uncomfortable saying it) suits and with the clothes of the movie/series/book (?) Lolita and Mimi/Ushka is like a catgirl Dr Masakryk (a corrupt doctor lol) made out of dead bodies just to use her mentally and physically and have her as an unpated assistant and she looks no much older than 12 but when ppl started questioning it Tamakuz said she was 18 so it was legal, but Dr Masakryk is still 25. And it also has an animation called "Elevator Man" which depicts Dr Masakryk as a dude that like works (?) at the elevator and then a girl that was Ushka when she was alive enters the elevator and she is kinda used by Masakryk

team seraphic sins:

psychocuties:

[alfiely-art]

Act 5 act 1 is done ! Thank goodness. This took me a couple days so some notes may be outdated (ie: karkat birthday)

Also I finished this last night but. Yk.

Act 1 reaction here

Act 2 reaction here

Act 3 reaction here

Intermission reaction here

Act four reaction here

Notes:

NOOOOO JADE'S DREAM SELF IS DEAD FUCKKKK 

Did Jake write this

Hrrrrngggg this is so. Jade just wanted to hang out with him :( 

Man give the kid some time to cry his friend's dream self is dead!!!

I. Okay. Grieve how you need to grandpa. That makes me so uncomfortable but it's okay 

Oh Morse code. I'm not whipping out the decoder sorry I'm distraught over Jade. I'll download the Pic and translate later 

Hussie idgaf about your recap. What the fuck is happening I thought this was act 5 a few pages ago. Are we NOW At act 5???

Is this trollian

Yaaaaay alternia I've heard of this one. Looks kinda dead though

Yaaaay Karkat birthday. Apparently his bday was yesterday irl!!!!

Emooooo lmaooooo

Troll Sander. Oh Karkat. You and John can and should be besties forever. Kiss now /j

BAHAHAA IVE SEEN THIS PANEL BEFORE. I REFERENCED IT WHEN I DROPPED MY MATH BOOK AND IT MADE A DENT IN THE FLOOR. “I'm karkat-ing it up” I SAID. NO ONE UNDERSTOOD ME

“You were meant to be a bigshot” HAHA SPAMPTOB!!!! Nows ur chance to be a big shot, be a big, be a big, be a big shot 

Omg is this gamzee. Or some other purple guy 

Faygo mention!

AHA YES it's gamzee!!! I know because :o)

Oh gamzee <3 Silly guy. Sure hope he doesn't do anything horrible and violent later (i know a bit of what he does. lord english <333)

The juggalos….

NEPETA AND EQUIUS USERNAMES SPOTTED!!! oh yeah karkats doing stuff. That is what I am supposed to be focusing on

Karkat you're such a drama queen oh my godddd

Terezi you're so cute 

Wait I wanna know the password thing…

CAN WE PLEASE GET TEREZI INTO ACE ATTORNEY. THIS IS SO CUTE I LOVE HER 

That's less cute actually why are you hanging your stuffies. Oh well. Girls can have hobbies I don't mind

YAY NEPETA YAY NEPETA YAY NEPETA

Adorabloodthirsty!!!

Oooo this is Aradia right

That's Eridan methinks

No strife….

This is kinda moving fast ? I mean I don't mind but also I liked the slowness of the previous acts. Oh well. Maybe it's cuz we gotta introduce more characters rn

Sollux!!! I have been told he is not an Eridan lover. Oopsie. The fandom lied to me

HI NEPETA

Aradia what are you doing 

Hey. Is this code how Lord English us born. Isn't it

Oh hi girl! I don't know your name but I've seen you!!! 

Hi tavros! I didn't know you were in a wheelchair. Why do I never see art of you in a wheelchair. All your art is of you smooching gamzee.

HAH REFERENCE… alien reference…

Equius is just Standing There.

ALSO I DONT THINK THATS THE PROPER PROCEDURE TO GIVE SOMEONE PROSTHETIC LEGS

Is that Vriska

Aww… shitty rap offs <333

Ohh yess your name is Aradia!

BAHAH OUIJA BOARD 

Vriska it's you ! I will finally know who you are other than Nagito's daughter. Yippee hurray

Woah baby boy calm down what's in that honey that's making you blast lasers out of your eyeballs

HI SILLY CAT GIRL

OH MY GODDD. The cave in… : (

Autistic girls in caves ftw!!!!

Meowrails… nepeta bite him now 

Team scourge?!?!?! Like warrior cats?@?!?@?@ i never read warrior cats I just know scourge 

Slur count: 13

Vriska what the fuck are you doing

OH MY GOD VRISKA WHY DID YOU DO THAT

Karkat bite her. Vriska that is unhealthy for you to do you cannot control others 

HI EQUIUS what uh. What's that stuff in your horse paintings. Equius. Boy. Theyre public everyone can see them

Oh the girl!! Fish girl!!!! uhh.. f… Ferrari. No wait Guy Ferrari is in this. F something

Me too Nepeta. Me too. Idk what's happening I'm just here for jokes and references and Hal when he shows up

DUN DUN DUN!!!! 

Ribbit

Be the huge bitch

Bitch autocorrected to bitcoin. Phone you will perish in a day

Oh. You gotta feed your parent other kids… not great 

Slur count: 14

Holy shit dude I can't read this

Anyway EQUIUS TIME!!!

Lusus Milk. Ummm. Did he milk himself 

Equius never play video games you'd get so much gamer rage

Yaaaay Equius and Gamzee are chatting!!!

Gamzee why are you so cute. I know you do silly things later!!!!

Awww is he talking about Aradia. Buddy just forget the troll racism 

HAH. Yeah that's fair Equius I'd slap someone who was trying to read my mind. Although can he just. Do that any time?

Yaaaay Aradia bot!!!

Equius kill yourself now /j you're so fucking weird. Can your lusus curb your weirdness a little 

JELP EQUIUS YOU KILLED HER LUSUS

NOOOO AURTHOUR!!!!!!

Okay I kinda like the drama Terezi and Vriska are having. they're both kinda bitchy and conniving but Terezi seems to have good intentions. And vriska. Uh. Spooder

Aradia nooo don't listen to the voices trust me

Waaaait wait wait. Is this white guy Doc Scratch. I know Hal hasn't even shown up yet but is this Doc Scratch. Is he doing time shenanigans. Please let this be doc scratch I need lord english stuff 

Vriska. Vriska what did you do to sollux. Also aw him and aradia are dating??? Sweet

FUCK YEAH I WAS RIGHT!!!! DOC SCRATCH!!!! I LOVE YOU MR SCRATCH

Mr Vanilla Milkshake

Isn't that Jade's cue ball. I knew it was related to doc scratch

“I will explode in your face’

I fucking love Doc Scratch. Yeah Vriska I don't care that your spider mom died I'm busy being a Homosexual 

BAHAHAH EQUIUS. You're such a fucking nut. I mean a fiddlesticks nut. No that doesn't hit the same way

This a hilarious dynamic actually. I love you Aradia

EQUIUS IS DOING THE MEME POSE

But anyway. Fuck yeah Aradia. Equius you freak. Aradia bite him

This makes me realize a pair of my homestuck ocs are like this but yk. Toxic and codependent. There's like four people who know they exist 

Huh

Nepeta cucked… jk I know moirails and the heart thing are different. Silly though. “This my boyfriend equius. And this is equius's girlfriend aradia. And this is aradia's boyfriend sollux.”

SHIPPING WALL WOOOOO

Yesss karkat. “you will never find love or hate” YOU TELL HER!!!! 

Also ooo jack

Yaaaay red blood. Actually I forget what red blood means its low isn't it 

OHHH wait he's got mutant blood. Dangggg

Jack is metal af. What a way to earn a kids trust

Cahoots!!!!

WOOO DOC SCRATCH!!! GIVE JER NEW PURPOSE YAAAAA

Man I sure wish I could have learned all of this in a natural way instead of jusy being told in a couple panels. Haha. Sure would be a fun experience methinks !!

Yaaaay kanaya

Glub glub glub

Slur count: 15

THATS NOT THE PROPER SURGERY PROCEDURE

Troll blood tastes bad. Got it

Yo wait she's moirails with Vriska??? Girl get outta there. Actually wait I love toxic yuri please continue 

Holy shit I didn't think eridan would be so boring to listen to. Snoreeeeee. Eridan do something funny pls poke poke

Funny that Karkat was wrong about Vriska getting bitches though. Why do you guys want her

Where did that last line come from. Eridan you emo. Real though

ROSE'S GAMEFAQ!!!!!! 

Ong troll rose lalonde… kanaya imagines her as a highblood it seems that's cute 

VRISKA YOU CANT SAY THAT actually you technically Can but VRISKA DONT BULLY TAVROS!!!!! 

Vriska girl please go to therapy. Tavros kill her

Scurry!!!!

Someone needs to have Vriska read the You're Not A Real Gamer post

Stabby hatefriend <33

Alright we are doing Peter pan now

Tavros just kill her already. She's scary 

WOAH VRISKA YOU CANT JUSG KISS HIM!!!! 

TAVROSSSSS NOOO DONT FALL FOR HER!!!!

It's kinda funny she hates his guts and he likes her. Can they please get a room

KANAYA GOT CUCKED :(

Poor Kanaya actually… she has horrible taste in women but I feel bad for her

Rose's mom and John's dad are matesprites… man this incest pile is getting crazyyyyy

Oh they are in love!!!!! Hate love!!!!

I love incest!!! the pail Has come 

The rammies… sorry I can't hear ramifications without thinking of the rammies…

Aradia and Equius's little gif matched the beat of the music I'm listening to

FAYGO also I think I completely forgot that Eridan isn't fuschia. Oopsies. Thought he was 

HI JOHN!!! I wish I was reading about your adventures currently 

Okay what's up with Eridan and the fishy girl. This is the second time we've cut to them during this explanation

Hi Eridan. WHAT DONT KILL THE WHALE

Okay hi fish

Ohhh Feferi… that's your name… okay

I don't think that was adorable but okay

Poor orphaned troll : (

Genocide complex… okay sure buddy why don't you get back to larping Harry potter. I'm canceling you babygirl

Aw :> I kinda like Feferi it's sweet she wants to change things for the better

COWBOY X WIZARD FUCK YEAH

Feferi really does have a lameass bi boyfriend

I'm just gonna call them all boyfriend and girlfriend btw. The quadrants don't sound yummy to me. Except pitch. I like that word. Sounds like bitch 

Do u not fw faygo

Just like Dave's fridge…

Can we peleeeease get back to good stuff I'm so sorry I.dont care about these guys. Maybe I will later but I wanna know what's going on with John and the other kids. Maybe focus on Karkat. Maybe on WV and the gang. I don't. Want to see them have a will-they-wont-they… 

Okay real talk. This act has been. Kinda a drag despite them going SO fast with plotpoints. People say that acts 1-3 were slow but I was so entertained by them!!! Is this a lame take. If they just slowed the fuck down I would like this a lot more. Hussie let me enjoy your fucking comic I don't want to speed through it 

Anyway. That aside.

she's in a fish bowl that's not good for her :(

HELP WAIT I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT NOT CARING ABOUT FEFERI AND ERIDAN. OH MY GOODNESS. SHES BREAKING UP WITH HIM KINDA THATS SO

FEFERI KEEPS DOING FISH PUNS WHILE BREAKING UP WITH ERIDAN OH MY

I love Feferi I think. My opinion has changed. Get Fucked Eridan

WHAT HAPPENED TO SOLLUX also why are Gamzee and Jack just. Standing There. Menacingly

SOLLUX NO EHAT COME BACK

I LIKED SOLLUX NOOOOOOOOO GAMZEE STOP HONKING

Feferi kissing Sollux's corpse would be so fucking weird if I didn't know what happens when you do that in homestuck

Sollux back <33 

Oh I forgot uh. That guy is watching. Legit can't remember his name ! Guy without an arm is watching !

THE NEVER ENDING STORY REFERENCE 

Oh hi audience insert !

Hussie. I don't care actually

I think you should be going SLOWER 

DONT THROW CAL also. I don't care!!!! 

:/ :/ :/ this makes me want to *remembers I'm not supposed to make jokes about killing myself*... cull myself 

Thank God we're back

Oh cool! Sollux gets two dream selves!!!

DEUCE?!?!?!?!?!

Terezi is so cute btw. I adore her

FUCK YEAH GO NEPETA

Theyre so cuteeeee I love meowrails

Slur count: 16

VRISKA'S FUTURE USERNAME SAYS FAG BAHAHAHAHA

I'm not including these in my Slur count these are funny

Okay hold on I thought these guys were dead… whag

Whoaj What are you up to Snowman… 

What the fuck

OHHH KICKAAS WINGS TEREZI. What the fuck was happening with the last panel though

Karkat stop calling things schizophrenic honey. I'm grounding you

I love Terezi and Karkat. My babies

Again??? I don't know the Password but I wanna look at what it is…

Is this troll sweet bro and Hella Jeff

I don't understand what really happened in that animation but YEAHHH FUCK HER UP ARADIA FUCK YEAHHHHH

Alpha timeline mention!!! I'm assuming that has to do with the alpha kids

A scratch… LIKE DOC SCRATCH!!!!!

Oh thank God that act is over. Kinda. Friend told me act 5 act 2 has more of the stuff I like. Act 5 act 1 gave me such a fucking headache I did not enjoy it very much!!!

The ending had that same sorta flair as usual homestuck but. The rest. It was like reading bullet points. Like you're doing now except I'm not telling a story I'm telling you my reactions to the story

Idk. Yeah. Not A fan Of act 5 act 1. Here's to hoping act 5 act 2 is better !!!

[fictofaggot]

do the zahhaks free pass

i need to kill you with every rock imaginable thank you

Equius Zahhak

Sexuality/Gender Headcanon: trans girl but she doesn't really know it yet. ummm. ywah

A ship I have with said character: MEOWRAILS!!!!!!!!! meowrails is the only ship ever in the whole world and i love them. ummm outside of that i like equisol.... neigh8ors... ywah :3

A BROTP I have with said character: him and tavros! ithink they match they are hoofed beasts... ummmmm... him and karkat need tp be friends idont care about youre feelin gs

A NOTP I have with said character: uhh..... equigam... araquius (theyre fascinating to me but idont like them).. idk idk

A random headcanon: horrible sensory issues that lead to intense meltdowns so frustrated all the time because she can't touch things without breaking them feels horribly guilty about it ummm.... um um um. he and nepeta are so close to eachkther he values her over any other troll in the whole world and they both realize they're trans girls together and thwy are the best. this thing has a personality disorder also

General opinion over said character: Why Are You Fucked Up. i need tk kill her with my big fists. i love him so much he is so autustically autistic tou woukd not even understand how much i feel for her

Horuss Zahhak

Sexuality/Gender Headcanon: sysfluid trans girl she/he aro ace aplatonic etc

A ship I have with said character: no. none. go away forever

A BROTP I have with said character: idk... :P :P :P the other dancestors suck in terms of potential to be with horuss

A NOTP I have with said character: literally any ship ive ever seen with her is the worst thing in the world and i fucking hate you all DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DI

A random headcanon: kintype is one of those horses with the really big fluffy legs... transspecies... haver of both species and gender dysphoria... buys cool band shirts at the store and doesn't listen to the band to see if she likes them until months later... system has 2 hosts who share the body's name and take on the same shared identity for convenience, rarely has possession-type switches and has mostly grey-out and emotional amnesia... this beast has a personality disorder and so much autism you wouldn't even believe

General opinion over said character: I. Love. Her. favorite dancestor ever she is just like me fr hussie fucking sucks at writing her and im so Glad none of the fandom remembers the systemness because dear lird. she makes me mad a bit. no one can ever understand my feelings for her

Arquiusprite

Sexuality/Gender Headcanon: this thing is a he him transfem

A ship I have with said character: ilike him anr erisolsprite but not really in a ship way i3just think they should be together

A BROTP I have with said character: i am so obsessed with every sprite² interaction

A NOTP I have with said character: i don't know man i don't wan t to know what ships with him exist

A random headcanon: thw beast is demonic in nature

General opinion over said character: combination of 2 of my favorite guys you get a coolkid pass forever...love this thing

Darkleer

Sexuality/Gender Headcanon: trans girl lesbiman but he doesn't realize it because he has never heard of a pronoun in his life

A ship I have with said character: i don't care about ancestor ships

A BROTP I have with said character: idk...

A NOTP I have with said character: i don't care about ancestor ships

A random headcanon: JUGGERNAUT ARMOR JUGGERNAUT ARMOR JUGGERNAUT ARMOR J

General opinion over said character: this fucking beast is fantastic i love this animal. i need to get to the ancestor part in my reread soon so i can remember what his whole deal is

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

what are some of mod dave's aus

uhh ok this is a fucking plethora

SO I HAVE!!

HUMANSTUCK - i just imagine this one by default,,, uhh john was definitely born in athens greece. terezis been chinese / korean this whole time idk what youre talking abou-,t-

DEMIGODSTUCK - i Know i have gone into detail about on this blog before. my favorite concepts from this one are greyro ace vitiligo aphrodite son karkat who doesnt feel like he fits in with his cabin cause they make fun of him for being “ugly” and “loveless” and then he comes around and completes a quest and becomes head counselor, and uhhh hephaestus dirk who has pyrokinesis and also loses an arm so now hes got a metal one he built himself

DONT LOOK DOWN - my greyromantic human-collegestuck 18kword banekat fic im writing which ive Also mentioned on this blog before

DEAD KIDS - this is based off a katie alender book called “the dead girls of hysteria hall” please read that book its fucking phenomenal dave is the one who inherited the asylum and all the homestuck girls are the ghosts trapped inside its made my friends cry before when i made them read it hal almost busted out his witch charm and warded me away cause of dead kids

DONT STARVE - where everyone lives in the 1920s and they get sucked into tim burton minecraft island hell and they all gotta survive there (handmaid is definitely charlie. it fucks aradia up cause she Knows. think like winona. she gets one free night without being consumed by the darkness itself cause Family Reasons)

MINECRAFT - this one is where a lot of people are like sentient humanoid half-creatures like sollux is half creeper half human and dont. uh. dont get him mad. also drowned eridan and feferi but theyre not dead or brainless they just be lookin like that. its cool !! you know !!!

MEDIEVALSTUCK - terezi is an oracle of the church except not anymore shes blasphemous and gets exiled and its her and a bunch of friends who are all like “wow the kingdom thought i was weird too lets all have an adventure together”!! examples: dave cant be a knight cause his eyes are red and that means hes the devil. sollux is a mage who specializes in death-related magic so obviously he brought upon this plague. rose is a lesbian thats not allowed also shes a WITCH. kanayas a vampire. shes just a vampire. she proposes to rose with a sword

EARTH INVASION - this is a no-sburb au where the alternian empire came and took over earth as a colony, also all the trolls exist at the same time as the revolution so like the whole vantas family gets to help out, and the humans are taken as like property cause theyre Technically Lowbloods but theyre Not having it so they all escape and join the rebellion and take down the GOVERNMENT

TROLLSTUCK - daves a mutantblood (same idea where all troll generations exist at the same time) and he finds the vantas rebellion and JADE is a LIMEBLOOD and she is NOT having a good time but shshhs shh its ok shes an olive its FINE

BLOOD / KIDSWAP - kanaya is the vantas and she thinks shes so clever cause shes posing as a bronzeblood. there IS sburb in this one. also dave egbert and john harley. love those boys. jade lalonde is a terrifying concept if she ever goes grimdark run away immediately

OPPOSITESTUCK - jade is the main character and she just wants everyone to shut the fuck up. this is also a sburb au and she hates her land its Too Loud. uhh rose is a being of chaos and exists in the void outside of spacetime itself. and john is a little bastard. tavros is now The Antichad. which is a valid ancestor name actually-

CYBERSTUCK - this one is really really specific, uhh its a post-apocalyptic dystopian cyberpunk futuristic humanstuck where the city everyone lives in once flourished with the help of several versions of androids, but as they advanced they needed more and more power which became fucking nuclear and there was a fallout. so now everythings radioactive, everyones scrounging to survive, androids from “the underground” (the main core of where most of specifically the power droids were kept) are SUPER fucking valuable cause theyre able to give you power, and the radioactivity mutated a lot of people so instead of zombies there are just mutants. and roxy is one of them but theyre still sentient so they look like fucking HEINOUSTUCK roxy but theyre still like. vibing

MAFIASTUCK - where everyone does Illegal Things but mostly not like morally illegal things. just like. yknow daves a thief and. sollux is the most wanted anonymous hacker in texas,, uh. dirk commits arson sometimes,. vriska is vriska,.. jane is in on some high key white collar crimes in the crockercorp company,, and poor john is just this normal idiot surrounded by all of this at college and hes like “god. i hate you all. please be normal”

MIRACULOUS LADYBUG - uhh john has a miraculous and its firefly themed and thats his name !! “firefly”!!! his Big Power is like “typhoon” or some shit he can make a big storm Go and serenity the firefly is his little fuckin uhhh Friend. the Miraculous Animal i forgot what it was called

YOUTUBERSTUCK - this ones based off unus annus p much where like theyre all youtubers and thats how they all met like john and dahnte (banes oc, ive also talked about dahnte) are unus annus and dave and sollux are like. good mythical morning and roxy is an asmr channel and kanaya is a makeup tutorial channel and jade has a vlog with her dog and its called doggy vloggies and eridan does all these science experiments and jane has a baking channel and nepeta ,, she just like. does, what she does and people like her. she doesnt have a genre. shes just nepeta on youtube. and shes a fucking hit. also dirk and jake make music

then like i obviously have concept aus that are pretty much just designs, like gemstuck where theyre all . ,, steven universe gems, and then rwbystuck where theyre all at beacon academy and have their own semblances, and a one piece au where theyre all pirates and some of them ate the Big Shit Fruits, and my own flavor of demonstuck cause who doesnt have a demonstuck, and stardew valley stuck (which i call starstuck valley) where a couple of them are farmers on their own respective farms and they all come together amidst the idiot villagers and go “hey did that wizard make you drink that leaf juice soup too or like is that just me”, and a survivalstuck where the whole premise is like. “the forest” kinda game. oh shit your plane went down and youre stranded in the woods. find your friends and survive. maybe dont get near those eight-armed women with no heads. thats a good idea

long story short i have. uh. a plethora

[fluorescencefuture]

Homestuck^2: How I’d write the Omega Kids (and the Candy timeline villains)

I haven't reread Homestuck nor the epilogues in a while so correct me if I'm wrong with anything here. This was all in one go, too, so I probably missed something here or there. I'm also not a native English speaker so pardon some grammar errors.

In General

I’d give them a five-letter name scheme. Names of a group being the same length was a big deal in original HS (human first names had four letters, troll names had six, Ancestors had eight-letter titles, Cherubs had eight letters too, etc.), so it’s odd seeing this new group have names of varying length

I’d also give them all shirt symbols. It’s odd that something so iconic to Homestuck isn’t present in the new kids, either.

I'll write for both the canon post-canon with evil Jane and for my own version with different villains. Evil Jane happens because a highblood troll who hears of the old ways of Alternia attempts to kill her and take her crown, as she's technically the heiress. Jane wins, but she starts to see trolls and Alternian culture in a different light from then on. At first she was only trying to prevent the worst parts of Alternian culture from coming back, but over time grew to despise trolls, and ended up trying to force human culture onto Alternians.

The other Candy villains are a dangerous terrorist rebel group that wants to overthrow the creators and destroy them. They say the creators made the people, abandoned the people for years, then suddenly came back and decided they control the people. The group is made of humans, trolls, carapacians, and even consorts. The mysterious shadowed leader claims to be doing this for the people, but really, all they want is to have control for themselves, and they don't care if any innocents get in the way.

Harry Anderson

Has nothing to fix, he’s perfect as is

Okay but seriously, the guy is the kid with the least questionable things around him. He has no baggage from sharing the same name as an established character (ICP Harry Anderson doesn’t count), and he didn’t come from infidelity.

He also has actual color to his personality. He likes musicals and sewing. He has a good relationship with his dad. Like many kids with divorced parents, he wishes his parents were together again. What do the others have? Vrissy is just a slightly less aggressive Vriska. Tavros is just OG Tavros and Jake combined. Yiffy’s thing is being a dog girl named Yiffany Longstocking. The others could be fleshed out eventually, but with the slow pace and meandering plot we have right now, I doubt it.

If Jane's the villain, things would mostly go the same way. If Jane isn't the villain, it goes two ways: he decides to join Vrissy's guerilla anti-anti-creator group and fight because he wants to protect his parents, or he's just very anti-conflict and avoids the fight because he doesn't think he's up to it. He's frequently threatened but doesn't tell his parents about the threats. Eventually, he gets convinced to join and fight.

Vrissy

So Vrissy’s in relationships with guys who are technically her cousins. At first I was like “well, they’re not biologically related nor were they raised as family so it’s not weird”. But then Tavros called Kanaya “Aunt Kanaya” and now I’m thinking “oh god, that’s really weird”.

Now she’s just a troll girl from school. She's just close to Kanaya and Rose, but isn’t their kid. She isn’t related to anyone. Anyone except Vriska, who she was named after. Vrissy’s new nickname is just Vriss.

Alternatively, her name is something completely different. Honestly, it just seemed like a way to shoehorn in a Vriska for the story. Only for actual Vriska to come back anyway.

Uhh, Eshtha (from Jyeshtha, a Hindu nakshatra Scorpius is associated with)? Oriona (from Orion, the myth where Scorpius is mostly attributed to)? Naiaka (from Manaiakalani, as Hawaiians saw Scorpius as the demigod Maui’s fishhook)? Oh wait, I’ll have to make nicknames for those names too. Uh, Eshty, Riona, and Naiah.

Maybe have her have a personality that’s rather opposite to Vriska’s than have her as Vriska 2. She's more a perky goth, more cheerful and sweet. More "I knew you could do it!" than "So you can do something after all." A beast in battle, of course. She doesn't like to use her mind control powers, because she finds them disturbing.

If Vriska had to come back, the conflict would come from their conflicting personalities. Vriska would pretty much act the same way she did to (Vriska), but this time, Vriss doesn't take any of it and stands her ground.

Whether the villain is Jane or not, she's the one who decides to fight back, and she gets her friends and others to join her. The creators have been nothing but good to her, and she cares about them a lot, especially Rose and Kanaya. Not to mention they're also her friends' parents.

Tavros

Yeah, we’re gonna have to rename that kid. It never made sense to me why Jake and Jane named their kid after some guy they don’t know that well. I don’t remember everything from the Epilogues, but I’ll assume the reason was Gamzee or something. Also weird that Jane, who’s supposed to be racist to trolls, would just...let her kid be named after one.

Something old-ish would work. Flynn? Silas? Avery? Clyde? Niles? Louie?

He's moirails with this Vriss instead of kismeses. The Vrissy/Tavros kismesis also felt like re-hashing the kismesis that Vriska and OG Tavros kinda had.

If we went post-canon villain Jane, he'd be reluctant to join the rebellion and is more of a pacifist who would rather try to talk his mom out of it.

Alternatively, Jane and Jake are separated (but not divorced) and he lives with Jake. Because Jane was never terrible to him and Jake doesn't tell him how bad she's gotten, he disagrees with her but still tries to justify and rationalize that Jane's really doing it from a place of good intentions.

If the villain isn't Jane, then Jane and Jake have been hiding him away, and his friends can only see him when they visit him at his swanky home. You might say he's...housetrapped. He joins because his friends are in it, and doesn't quite grasp how serious things are until the rebels try to kill Jane (the rebels try to kill Jane first because you always kill the healer first).

He's in contact with a mysterious guide who's kinda spacy and a little terrifying at times. His friends think the guide might just be some creepy predator. It's revealed to be Candy Gamzee, out of the fridge and legitimately harmless, but untraceable and doing mysterious things behind the black. Again.

Come to think of it, Dirk's missing too...

Yiffany Longstocking

Yiffy is now the ectokid of Dave and Jade. She looks more like a DaveJade kid than JadeRose, really. Dave and Jade are also either happily married or coming close to an amicable divorce. Yeah, the toxic shit Jade did and the erasure of Dave's bisexuality also don't exist here. Jade, Dave, Karkat, and Terezi are backing Vrissy's anti-anti-creator group.

Her new name is something unisex. Riley? Logan? Robin? Sloan? Salem?

She spends a lot of time outside doing sports and doesn't talk much. She's not very close to the other three kids, but she's surprisingly pretty close to her Aunt Rose.

While Jade and Dave are out on a mission for Karkat (this is the mission Candy Dave dies), she gets kidnapped by the opposing force (Jane/the terrorists). She gets a shock collar forced on her, then is hidden away in a Boarding School for Inconvenient Girls, enrolled under the name "Yiffany Longstocking". Jade comes home to find that her family's been taken from her. Again.

Yiffy almost escapes, but she gets knocked out and taken back to base, where they lock her in a cage and treat her like a dog. She's still defiant to the end.

If Jane's the villain, Jake is inspired by Yiffy's defiance, grows some balls, exposes Yiffy's treatment to the press, and sets her free. She beats up the guards trying to stop her. Jake gets surrounded by more guards. In response, he pulls out his pistols and a one-liner, and bam, cliffhanger.

If it's the terrorist group, Terezi picks up on Yiffy's scent when they're in a base, and she's saved by the other three kids, where she immediately turns around and beats the crap out of the guards. They become proper friends from there.

The reunion panel still happens and this time it's her reuniting with her loving mother and aunt instead of...y'know.

BONUS: Sadstuck

Harry gets his own “im not a hero” speech after trying and “failing” to be the hero that John was

Vriss is eventually forced to use her mind control powers. It’s either a “Katara using bloodbending" situation, or she forces her friends to leave her behind when they want to stick by her.

Tavros finally witnesses his mother’s true nature when Jake defeats all the guards, but is stabbed from behind by Jane and killed. In the other version, it seems Jane is finally safe and able to come home to her son. Then she’s killed right in front of him.

After the big hug with Jade and Rose, Yiffy pulls away. She smiles, looks around behind them, and asks “Where’s Dad?”

So, please tell me what you think!

[unicorn-poop]

Troll Rose and the Rule 63 Trolls (School)

(Anyone know the source? I found this on the internet. Anyways here’s what the 12 beauties look like (Only because I like this one the best). 

THE CONDESCE: YOU ALL AR--E GOING TO GO TO SCHOOL W)(--ETH--ER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!

KARKAT: BUT MOM I DON’T WANT TO GO TO A PLACE FILLED WITH ANNOYING UGLY ASS HUMANS! EW!

SOLLUX: yeah ii don’t thiink thiis school would be a very good iidea...

THE CONDESCE: W)(AL--E YOU ALL N--E--ED FRO--ENDS! 

ARADIA: i have friends! i am friends with the spirits of the dead

THE CONDESCE: Friends that are not dead...

ARADIA: awwww....

THE CONDESCE: Anyways you all will actually end up sucessful and not losers w)(o will still live wit)( mommy....Now bye!

(Kicks the trolls out)

KARKAT: FUUUUUUUUUCK!

(The trolls end up walking. They past a McDonalds on their way to school)

TAVROS: uHH KARKAT CAN WE GET SOMETHING FROM MCDONALDS, i AM STARVING

KARKAT: I DON’T FUCKING NO! WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME? ASK ARADIA! HE IS THE LEADER HERE! HIS SIGN IS AT THE BEGINING OF THE ZODIAC FOR FUCKS SAKE!

TAVROS: aRADIA...

ARADIA: no. that place is just the saddest place on earth. burger queen is much better tavros

VRISKA: No it ain’t! They suck ass! 

TEREZI: YOU 4R3 ONLY S4Y1NG TH4T B3C4US3 TH4T WHOPP3R G4V3 YOU TH3 SH1TS!

FEFERI: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

VRISKA: Shut up terezi! Not funny fish 8oy!

(The trolls make it to school)

NEPETA: :33 oh cool! there’s animals?!

KARKAT: THOSE ARE FREAKS! I THINK THEY’RE CALLED FURRIES! WHO KNEW THIS SCHOOL WOULD HAVE FUCKING FURRIES HERE!

NEPETA: :33 aww yesssss! time to make some furiends

TEREZI: 3V3RYONE SM3LLS!

STUDENT 1: Hey freaks

ERIDAN: excuse me? wwe aren’t the freaks here!

GAMZEE: hEy BrUh WhY yOu GoTta Be MeAn To My FrIeNdS?

Equius gets up at Student 1 face. the kid pisses himself

EQUIUS: D--> listen you disgrace you will leave me and my friends alone! we are not the freaks here! we got noble blood that is higher than yours. you should listen to us because we rule the school. now get lost (Cracks Knuckles). 

Student 1 runs away

EQUIUS: D--> a waste of our time

SOLLUX: thanks eq

KANAYA: Did He Just Soil Himself?

KARKAT: HA! YEAH EQUIUS SURE SCARED THE PISS OUT OF THAT DWEEB!

(Suddenly Jade harley walks past)

JADE: hi guys :)

(All of the trolls stare in aw. Yes Jade is still a girl And a human in this AU). 

ARADIA: oh wow she is so pretty. she makes me feel more  alive than i already am

TAVROS: wOW SHE IS SO PRETTY!

SOLLUX: ii thiink ii have a thiing for human female2 wiith long black haiir. 

KARKAT: HOLY FUCK! 

NEPETA: :33 she is so puritty!

KANAYA: My What Lovely Clothing She Has

TEREZI: HOLY SH1T! 

VRISKA: That ass ;:::)

EQUIUS: D--> Oh my! I need a towel

GAMZEE: sEe GuYs MiRaClEs Do ExIsT

ERIDAN: looks like this vviolet gal here is getting a human girl in her red quadrant today

FEFERI: GLUB GLUB!

The trolls then all look at eachother

KARKAT: FUCK ALL OF YOU! SHE IS MINE! OUT OF ALL OF YOU I DESERVE A GIRLFRIEND!

TAVROS: nO WAY MAN, i DESERVE HER, WE LITERALLY WOULD BE THE BEST COUPLE IN THIS SCHOOL, bESIDES YOU’RE TOO LOUD!

SOLLUX: ii am 2mart! ii thiink ii de2erve her more than the 2 of you.

EQUIUS: D--> no way. i have higher blood than the three of you. who wouldn’t like a lovely bl00 lady like me? she will be mine! understood lowbloods?

ERIDAN: i am prettier than the 4 of you so she’ll be in my red quadrant. it’s the truth i don’t make the rules!

GAMZEE: HONK!

NEPETA: :33 oh wow the girls are fighting ofur her. 

KANAYA: I Don’t Blame Them

VRISKA: Ha! Well she is mine. The rest of you can just find someone else. Look fussyfangs (Points at Dave) I think that man over there would be a gr8 man for you! You should go talk to him. 

KANAYA: No. He Seems Like A Asshole I Think You Should Date Him.

VRISKA: Nah. He’s uglyyyyyyy!

NEPETA: :33 i think he means black dating

VRISKA: Sure but right now that raven haired human girl is going in my red quadrant. 

KANAYA: No She Is Not Why Would She Want To date You?

VRISKA: Because I am a hot mother fucker!

FEFERI: )(a! Sea t)(ese muscles gentlemen. T)(e human is going to be mine

VRISKA: You’re a dick! Why would she want to 8e with you?!

FEFERI: My blood colour you ass! Also t)(e very fact that I )(ave )(igher blood t)(an all of you so )(A! 

TEREZI: SUCK 1T! NOBODY W4NTS SOMEBODY WHO SM3LLS L1K3 F1SH!

FEFERI: (pulls out Trident) T)(AT’S IT!

Kanaya pulls out his chainsaw.

KANAYA: WILL YOU ALL JUST STOP! Why Are You All fighting For A Girl We Don’t Even Know?

KARKAT: BECAUSE.....

(Suddenly dave strider passes)

DAVE: Sup grey humans. Nice candy corn horns. 

ARADIA:.......our horns aren’t candy buddy

DAVE: Hey there beautiful (Looking at karkat)

KARKAT: (BLUSHES)

KANAYA: Jesus He Seems Like A Asshole

VRISKA: 8ut fussyfangs he’d 8e the perfect guy for you.

EQUIUS: D--> Let’s get to class

(In Fourth Period)

TEACHER: So class today we will be learning about geometry. Now turn to page 69 in your text books

(The whole class heavily sighs)

All the trolls couldn’t stop thinking about Jade. 11 of them wanted her in their red quadrant. You can guess who doesn't. He just wanted to be her morail. 

JOHN: hi. 

KANAYA: Hello Human 

JOHN: you’re really handsome. 

KANAYA: Thank You Now Could You Tell Me About This Human That Has Green Eyes And Long Black hair

JOHN: oh, that’s my sister jade harley! have you met her yet? she’s awesome isn’t she?

KANAYA: My Friends Are Obsessed With Her

JOHN: oh really? well she is really pretty and a very friendly person so it’s understandable. 

VRISKA: Hey Fussyfangs! Why are you talking to that loser?

JOHN: I am not a loser!

VRISKA: so this jade human is related you you, huh? So 8uddy can you tell me how to get her in my red quadrant? 

JOHN: red quadrant? 

VRISKA: How can I make her my girlfriend? Jegus you humans are stupiiiiid!

JOHN: join the football team! seems something you’d be good at as well as your shirtless friend. in fact why don’t you have half of your friends join the cheerleading squad and half join the football team. 

VRISKA: Thank you weirdo

JOHN: it is john, MY NAME IS JOHN! 

(Later on at Lunch)

VRISKA: Ok guys so this John human says to get the girl of our dreams is to choin football and cheerleading. 

TEREZI: WH4T 4BOUT 4RT CLUB? 

KANAYA: Terezi You Would Just Get Kicked Out For Eating All The Crayons And Chalk

TEREZI: H3H3H3H3 TH3 ONLY R34SON 1 W4NT3D TO JO1N!

TAVROS: sO WHO IS JOINING WHICH SPORT

VRISKA: You can just join cheerleading! You’d suck and get crushed in football.

TAVROS: eXCUSE ME? 

SOLLUX: ii thiink ii’ll joiin cheerleading. that 2ound2 fun. 

KARKAT: I THINK I’LL JOIN TOO! TIME TO SHOW OFF MY AWESOME SKILLS

GAMZEE: i’M wItH yOu Sis

ERIDAN: all the girls wwill be jealous of me!

EQUIUS: D--> i will join football so i can crush all the dumb peasant males on there

FEFERI: Right! Me and you Equius! Going to crush all t)(e losers on there! 

NEPETA: :33 i’ll join ch33rleading. it s33ms fun. 

ARADIA: i’m going to use my ghost powers. 

VRISKA: You ass! That’d 8e cheating! 

ARADIA: yeah and i don;t care. stay mad blue blooded scum!

VRISKA: >::::(

TEREZI: W1SH 1 COULD JO1N 4RT CLUB! 

(Johm comes up to their table)

EQUIUS: D--> no humans aloud

VRISKA: There’s my man 

KANAYA: You Are Dating? 

VRISKA: Nah, I don;t date nerds 

JOHN: so are you guys doing the cheerleading and  football? 

KANAYA: Apparently. 

JOHN: any of you also want to join LGBT+ Club?

TEREZI: WH4T 1S TH4T?

JOHN: For Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Queer, Allies and others. 

ARADIA: we wouldn’t mind joining. after all we are all bisexual since we trolls are all bisexual. 

KARKAT: PANSEXUAL!

ARADIA: whatever. 

KANAYA: I Prefer Males In My Red Quadrant. 

JOHN: cool. you’re gay and that is fine. we meet on wednesdays. oh and dave is going to be there

(John Leaves)

VRISKA: Kaaaaaaaanaaaaaaaayaaaaaaa :))))))))

KANAYA: No

(So later on the 6 try out for cheerleadong and the other 6 tryout for football. Surprisingly they all make their respective teams)

To be continued. See next time how The 11 trolls try so hard to get Jade in their quadrant. 

[spaghetti-and-ratsauce]

Homestuck shitpost

#Dave and John go shopping #Dave picks out a skirt for “Ironic purposes” Dave, holding up a skirt: What do you think of this? John: That is barely going to cover anything. Dave: I’ll buy two. John:No. Seriously, I think it’s like an entire inch too short to actually cover anything. Dave: Three, then? John: Dave, it will literally fucking show everything. Dave: Are you telling me to buy four? John: Dave dammit you ho. #Dave then buys ten while smirking #The person at the register is just “So uhh.. Got a special girl at home?” Dave, deadpan & monotone: Yes. His name is Karkat. He’s a troll. This skirt will have him fucking me tonight, while simultaneously fucking your gender roles. Also, you'd buy shit like this for you girlfriend? Kind of creepy but okay.

[settingorange]

The unsub (Karkat) was raised by homestuck parents that were like. Too into it yknow? So he got way too serious about the uhh hs relationship shit and he ends up Killing the person he thought was his "kismesis" and he puts the little spade symbol on the body bc. How else are our brilliant little behavioral analysts gonna figure this one out. His breaking point was the refusal of his perceived Auspistice to intervene and he ends up killing them both and thats why the bau is callrd in bc theyre quick in succession murders w the playing card suits Mark.

So anyway,

Garcia, upon trying to search the name Karkat Vantas is like "I'm doing my best but there's a lot of... Filth to sorry through. And I mean Lots"

Spencer Reid reveals he not only knows what homestuck is but that he's read it in its entirety

Morgan is Incredulous that there's a guy out here killing his enemy soul mate

They have to try and find his moirail before he kills him

Emily talks to karkats parents and they're like "oh kk is a sweet boy... He would never do anything like that, he knows homestuck isn't real"

They go out on a limb and have a member of the team (probably jj) pose as his moirail meaning we have to hear aj cook say "Karkat? Hey, kk it's me, Terezi. Put the gun down, that girl isn't your moirail, I am. And I'm so sorry I haven't been there for you" and hes crying and he puts the gun down and he hugs her and then they cuff him and he's like "terezi wh what's happening" and she doesn't respond she just looks pained and then idk Rossi says another quote and we fade to black.

I literally cannot stop thinking about a criminal minds episode where the unsub is named Karkat Vantas

[tashaleway]

KVAAFCRS: Chapter Five: The Murderous Wand

The day had finally come. Karkat stood in front of the brick wall between the platforms nine and ten. He drew in a deep breath and stepped through the wall, followed by his brother, babysitter and said babysitter’s two girls, Damara and Aradia, where they was greeted by a huge, red train, named “The Hogwarts Express” and a horde of wizards, witches and their younglings. “See you later, kiddoes. Have a nice year and remember to give everybody a good dose of pranking, or I’ll disown you both!” Droog said to his daughters and laughed at the end, which sounded a bit mad, while the parents closest to them gave him a disgruntled look and took a few steps away, dragging their children with them, muttering under their breaths. Damara and Aradia sighed and nudged their father with their elbows in each side of his ribs.

“Stop being such a moron, dad!” Damara ordered, while Droog chuckled at her antics. She was finally speaking English, but Karkat thought that it would only continue in classes. Outside of them…. Well… nobody would have any real chance of understanding her…. Except for Aradia perhaps… “Do I hear a fellow prankster?” a female voice asked and an older girl emerged from the crowd, looking old enough to be in one of her last years at Hogwarts. She was a bit chubby, but it suited her and she had a big, mischievous smile, firmly on her lips. Even with her completely blue-dressed style, which matched her eyes, it was obvious, this was a girl you had better stay away from, or else you could wake up one morning with rainbow-coloured hair. “A pleasure to meet you, Miss. And yes, I am indeed a pranker, but sadly; none of my children have inherited those of my genes,” Droog answered with a mock-disappointed shake of his head, while wiping an imaginary tear away. “Allow me to introduce myself; Jane Crocker to your service and humiliation!” she hold out her arms to her sides and gave a bow. Karkat recognized the name as Mr. Goof Mcfoolian English’s twin sister. He wondered why they had different last names. It was most likely due some inter-family stuff, that wouldn’t concern him, even if it crawled up his ass and puked. That is, if he ever cared enough to ask. “Diamond Droog, and these are my lovely girls, Damara and Aradia Megido. The two brats are Kankri and Karkat Vantas. Those are not mine, and I will not be held responsible for whatever they do, unless it’s pranks, of course.” Karkat and Damara shoot Droog death glares, while Kankri looked offended and Aradia just smiled softly and shook her head. It seemed like even Aradia was excited about today too, otherwise, she would normally daydream about adventures and hidden treasures, and nobody would be able to get any response out of her, yet here she was, communicating with the world around her and responding to their words and actions. Karkat was so proud. They heard a warning whistle from the train, and Droog shooed the children away, Jane Crocker disappeared into the crowd, probably trying to find her parents and give a last goodbye, while the four Hogwarts students quickly grabbed their trunks, boarded the train and headed off to find a compartment, with a last wave at the imbecilic babysitter/father. Damara found some dorm mates of hers and dragged Kankri after her, saying something about letting his poor brother find his own friends and to be more social. Whomever the last comment were meant for, only she knew and left the two first years on their own in their hunt for a place to sit. Not so long after, they found a compartment filled with first years (recognized with their still blank ties), but with only one empty seat. Not knowing, when they would find another seat, Aradia shrugged in apology, before entering. Just before he left, Karkat noted the five other children inside; one was a tall, sweating boy with far too showing muscles for an eleven year old and broken sunglasses (why anyone would wear such things would be a mystery to Karkat); a girl with long, black hair, a mischievous smirk and a young Acromantula on her shoulder, which seemed to bother everybody else in the compartment, except for herself. Beside her was a small, nervous boy with a mohawk, who was looking through his trunk and robe pockets frantically. The two last children were Jade and John from the bookstore. Karkat walked briskly past the other compartments in order to not be seen; he really didn’t want another “talk” like the one in Flourish and Blotts. He didn’t know that he had already been noticed. ~naknaknak~ Finally, almost at the end of the train, he found empty compartment, which was rather weird, when you thought about all the other full ones and all the children on the train, but perhaps the train was just magical that way? Karkat had only just stepped inside, when he tripped on something long, round and thin, and fell face first onto the floor. “Fucking piece of shit!” he raged, while pulling himself to his feet to look closer at the pencil-alike thing, he had fallen over. “Shitting, bloody, murderous wand of an unborn, immobile object!” he yelled as he picked said wand up, but when he didn’t recognize it as his own, that was still in his pocket, he placed the wand on the opposite seat. After that was done, he pulled out a book and then put his trunk away. He spend the next moments, trying to focus on the words, while fuming and throwing insults all the way. It took a few minutes, before he had calmed enough to actually read the sentences in the book, without having to read them trice. Karkat didn’t know how long, he had been buried in the book, when the door slid open, it could have been everything from five minutes to five hours. Karkat looked reluctant away from his book to see, who the newcomer was, but the minute he recognized the boy, he went back to his book about Defence Against the Dark Arts, not wanting to face the other boy. It was something better avoided, if he could, or else Karkat would probably have another rage fit within minutes. “Karkat, right?” the boy asked and shifted nervously from foot to foot. Karkat huffed in response. “I… uh… can I sit here? There is full everywhere else.” Yeah right! Because it’s not like you just had a seat! Filthy liar. “Huh, that’s funny. I thought that you had a really nice seat with your cousin, but I was apparently wrong. My eyes mustn’t have worked properly, when I passed. I really should get them fixed, because I can’t really go around and make assumptions about people, can I?” John seemed to be even more nervous, as he deflated in on himself, but in the end, he reached his hand out for Karkat. “I think we got off wrong, so let’s try again. My name is John Egbert. I’m trying to avoid Jade; she is also a first year like me, but really weird. You?” the insecure, lopsided grin he flashed was slowly, but steady getting on Karkat’s nerves. Karkat frowned, but agreed anyway, while rolling his eyes. Egbert was right. They had come off the wrong foot, or maybe it was just Jake Frigging English’s fault, so in the end he grasped the hand and shook it firmly once and let go. “Karkat Vantas. I’m a big asshat and currently, I’m hoping that my brother will not find me before the year ends, but neither of us ever get our wishes granted. That’s how life is, deal with it, you assnugget.” While greeting the other boy, Karkat had noticed the appearing of a young girl, dressed in green, one Jade Harley. How life is just full of joy and happiness. “Nice to meet you Karkat. We really didn’t have the time for a real greeting earlier, did we?” she asked cheerful and startled John in the progress. “No, we didn’t, and I don’t give a living shit about it. Now; bye!” Karkat snarled and to be honest, he just wanted to be alone. Yes, John had (in his own pathetic way) tried to apologize for his older cousin’s behaviour, and Jade seemed nice, but Karkat already knew, that the moment, Jake saw them talking together, he would either put an end to it or make John and Jade see the world from his view. Why not just end the friendship, before it started? Besides, Would Karkat even want to be friends with two pieces of sunshine that seemed to shit rainbows? Not-bloody-likely! On the other hand, Karkat was sure that John already would get a lot of friends (he was just like that), so why would he need Karkat? “Hey! How can you be such an asshole?! Come John, we’re leaving!” Jade walked angrily out, followed by a reluctant John, who frowned at Karkat’s behaviour. Bye friendship! It was nice, almost seeing you there! Once again, Karkat’s thoughts were clouded and confusing. Firstly, he really wanted a friend. John, despite his cheerfulness, seemed all right, but secondly, something told him that it would just be best, if he didn’t come any near the boy. He didn’t know how, but something told him that the friendship would be frowned upon. Not that he would care, but that didn’t stop the new thoughts. It was like… something inside him, tried to guide him, despite him wanting the complete opposite. ~naknaknak~ Once more, the door opened, but it was neither John nor Jade, but instead, the boy with the Mohawk and a really tall kid with long, dark, messy hair, a far-away expression and…. clown paint?… on his face… What? “Hey, uhh…have you seen a wand around here?” Mohawk asked, but avoided looking Karkat in the eyes. For some retarded reason or the other. “Some older guys… stole it… and the Prefects can’t summon it…” the boy continued Karkat held up The Murderous Wand (as Karkat had just named it) and waved it back and forth to get the boy’s attention. “This one?” The boy nodded nervously, but with relief and eyed Karkat a bit suspiciously, as if he expected Karkat to mock him or break the wand. As Karkat had already had his fair share with bullies, he would never do something like that (unless they deserved it, of course). Absorbed by those thoughts, Karkat got a shock, when the tall, lanky boy began to speak. “Hey, little bro, didn’t see you there! Did you also see the disappearing wall? My Da´ told me just to walk through, and I did, ‘cause my Da’s super smart! Suddenly the brick wall wasn’t there anymore, instead there were soooo many people! And this train of course! It was like a miracle!” the boy rambled, while his eyes glanced over. He was probably far away, to the train station, long lost in his own fogged mind. Karkat ignored him and rose up from his seat to hand the smaller boy the wand. “Watch out, it’s one fucked up, murderous wand.” Karkat warned, which earned him a fearful stare from the Mohawk. ~naknak~ After the nice, little meeting with Clown and Mohawk (read: shitclustery of collision by asswipes), Karkat tried to return to his book, while trying to ignore the other two first years that still stood by door to his compartment “WHAT IN THE GRUBEATING SHIT DO YOU WANT, YOU MUDSLINGERS?!!” Karkat yelled and the strange clown-faced boy took it as an invitation to waltz right into his compartment. Well, it wasn’t! The other boy with the mohawk stumbled in after his friend, trying to grab his sleeve. “I-I’m Tavros Nitram, um... by the way. And umm.. this, this is Gamzee Makara…” sigh…  If another person steps in here, I will throw them so hard out of the window that the rest of the train will feel the ricochet. Gosh he hated people. “Nice to meet you and your mentally hogtied mule. I’m Karkat Vantas, now please shut your trap, I’m trying to read this tree-corpse, as it is not yet possible to obtain information through osmosis.” Karkat tried so hard to be polite, but Mohawk’s… or Nitram’s voice was so annoying that Karkat would rather claw off his own ears than spend the rest of the train ride with Mr. Mumble. Karkat’s speech got the desired effect as Nitram shut up immediately and his friend Gamzee Makara just kept staring out of the window. Karkat let out a breath of relief and went back to his book.   At this speed, you can just volunteer yourself to Slytherin by now, because that is where you will end, if you proceed at this road. That thought made him stop, filling him with a sense of dread. Why was he thinking that? Where did the thought come from? But even if the thought’s sudden declaration scared him, he was more scared about the content of the thought. Because it was true. If he was interested in the Dark Arts, he was almost a Slytherin, because the Dark Arts was bad, right? Dark magic was evil. Everybody said so, just like Slytherins was evil. And if so many people said the same thing, it had to be true, right?

"Eh, sorry, we'll just go… uhh.. thanks for finding my wand…" dumb and dumber finally left Karkat alone with his brewing thoughts. He let out a little sigh. It didn't deem like he was going to be friends with the Makara kid, so Kankri could calm his shit down already.

"Is it just me, or does it feel like, this train ride have lasted an entire year??!" he groaned and placed his head in his hands.

[alfiely-art]

FINISHED ACT 3!!! Technically finished last night but I'm scheduling this for the morning

Act 1 reaction here

Act 2 reaction here

Notes I wrote while reading:

“I hope your father keeps you well fed” OH THATS WHY THERE WAS ALL THOSE BAKED GOODS OHHHH

Anyway. How thr fuck did Nanna know this. Did she hoo hoo in life as she does in death

OMG JADE

Is that an onion on ur shirt farmstink

Squeal like a piglet and fertilize some plants

OMG SHE DID IT I LOVE U JADE

Huh. Her room is. Just her friends interests. And their parents interests. Other than the furry I know that's all her. I know

Guns!!! Yayaya!!!!!! Doesn't Jake like guns too

Oh girl. Yoare so otherkin

She's really otherkin my goodness

PROBLEM SL- oh. Sooth

HEY THAT CUE BALL IS PART OF DOC SCRATCH AINT IT. THATS THE THING. THE TH HAL EQUIUS GAMZEE CALIBORN STUFF.

I do wonder what the magic 8 ball is for. If Jade has a bad feeling about it

Slur count: 4

Huh. Okay she has like… VR??

Slur count: 5 but I think Dave can reclaim this one

DAVE FURSONA YOOOO

What are you talking about tho

Omg they're fucking killing the felts…

Dave oh my god you're losing so bad. But yay bro!!! Yay cal!!! I'm so sorry Dave

john you're getting your ass whooped

Oh hello… Is ur name Sentry. Are you buddies with Vagabond

Oh. He's got mummies in his house

What is that thing

Who thr fuck is this. Who is CG

I'm assuming a troll ??? But whomst…

Slur count: 6

THE CAT

oooo what're you up to sentry…

IM GONNA PISS MYSELF I FELT SO BAD FOR DAVE AND THEN THE. I WARNED YOU BRO!!!!

HOLY SHIT JOHN IS GOING CRAZY

Aww yay he's having fun I think

Woah that place sure is purple!!!!

FUCK YEAH GET THEM DAD

???? Who is this clown watching them

Oh your name Isn't sentry. Hi peregrine medication!!!

Autocorrect that's not their name

PM I love you. I love mail

Yo wait PM you know Jade??? What

WHAT THE

IT EXPLODED

Omg rose horse… I know there's a animation of her with the horses. Like the arquiussprite one.

The fuck is in the teapot

AWWWWWWW THATS SO CUTE

Is that a picture of Jade in godtier. They Know….

HELP she napping

Oh. he's dead. Girl…

PM IS ALIVE!!!!!

Awwww baby rose….

Meow

Da fuck

Dad is… boring…? Lies

Jack's fourth wall : ( it was stolen…

IS THIS BETTY CROCKER!!!!

Put the hat on Jack. Put it on

Womp womp

FRUIT GUSHERS YAAAAAA

Awwww he looks so cute in the suit

THE HEINOUS BATTERWITCH

Boy you're so extra

BAHAHAHAH HE JIST WANTED TO DETCH THE BULLET… WHY ARE YOU DANCING W YOUR DEAD GUY…

Oop she napping

OH MY GOD SOMEONE GET ROSE OUT OF THERE

ROBOT?!?!?!?!

Dreambot…

So wait did she already Godtier…

Her room is lesbjan colors I think

Slur count: 7

Twelve… there's twelve Trolls I'm pretty sure

Gamzee Equius Nepeta Karkat Vriska Aradia. Uhh. Tavros. Eridan. Sollux. Uhh… the fish girl… uhhh….

Hi Vodka Mutini

How does John feel about Dave's bro kicking his ass btw. Very casual way of saying it

Oh John : (

VAGABOND IS BACK FUCK YEAH

Gasp… the blue box…

REALSTIC GUN!!! Hi renagade… like the dance

So John's the guy who likes clowns… not his dad…

His dad is so sweet though. he just wants to take care of his son. What has john repressed

OH PROSPIT IVE HEARD THAT!!!

This place sure is yellow

Omg WV has company :3

WV AND PM SHALL MEET!!!!

Take the shot /ref

JOHN!!!! He is also yellow !!!!

Ohhhh he's looking swaggy… Teal is a good color for him

Slur count: 8

WRINKLEFUCKER

NOOOOO DAVE… LIL CAL… THE KATANA… POOR BABY….

Giving him a forehead smooch

OH MY GODD THE JADE SILHOUETTE…

I like this like. “Fuck you timeline let's jump around” type of way thr story is being

Poor Cal….

GA… who are you

“Spread your wings” LIKE WHEN HE BECOMES A BIRD

Hi Dave I love you. I have no idea who you flirted with but you did such a good job you're such a good troll

YAYAY RENAGADE

Yo that box has Jade's dead relative on there…

PM is a girl?? the more u know

BAHAH AR'S A JUDGE… they're making a whole town… mayor, mail carrier, and judge…

INCONCEIVABLE

Butterfly : D

BABY JADE!!!

WHOP

HEY WAIT JACK DONT KILL HIM!!! I LOVE JOHN'S DAD!!!!

Oh my god I love them

That was a cool animation!!!! I have no idea what was going on. But hey I know that song…. Sburbian Jungle…

That sure is a fucked up planet WHAT HOW IS THAT THE END OF ACT 3

Okay so. Does this mean I'm. Halfway done with homestuck. This feels so short. Are the other acts longer