#uh sir that is basically your daughter

[gluetrapsreviews]

Ok watched Splice last night and I actually really liked it up till like the last 3rd of the film so ig like notes on that and how I think they could’ve had a similar ending but you know included less of *gestures vaguely * that

Tw for mentions of rape and incest btw, this is a really weird film

Uh ok so first change: Elsa finds Dren’s drawings of all of them, Dren even drew herself but maybe sad that she looks different than them or maybe she draws her Barbie doll instead of herself? Like a human stand in for herself almost. Elsa asks about Dren’s depictions of herself which upsets her and she runs to the cat. Elsa does take the cat away but to the vet to see if she might actually have some sort of diseases, Dren partially understands this but is still upset. Clive comes to check on her. This scene stays the same but make it less sexual please i beg you, Clive realizes Elsa used her own DNA through some means other than weirdly staring at Dren’s neck. Same argument with Clive and Elsa then they get a call from the lab about the protein thing that their hours have been extended till they figure it out. Elsa gives the cat back, Dren hits the cat but doesn’t kill it or maybe she just hides in the rafters while Elsa tries to apologize. Now Elsa and Clive have barely enough time to check in on Dren. This is when she starts getting hormonal changes when it’s just her and the cat. Insert montage of Dren acting weird maybe playing with her wings while Elsa and Clive work on the protein thing. Then one day Clive is checking the cameras and Dren is sick like she was near the end of the film, he fakes being sick and goes home to check on her. He realizes how weird she looks but assumes it’s just the next stage of her life and tries to take care of her. Dren wakes up with Clive next to her trying to work from home and attacks him, insert scene parallel to the one when Dren first gets sick and Clive tried to drown her(Dren drowning Clive). Dren then breaks out of the barn and starts looking for Elsa killing all men she sees in her path, eventually she gets to the lab and is poisoned by Elsa via parallel scene to the first time Clive tried to kill her. Elsa gets in tons of trouble and the lab gets shut down. Potentially there is a scene at the end where uh oh Dren might still be alive but that’s it that’s the film.

If you really need the Clive falls in love and has sex with Dren bit, have her lay eggs instead of having the sex change and then rape Elsa. It makes way more sense for her to lay eggs in the water and then attack everyone because they’re too close to the “nest” then boom you still have your weird sex crazed killer mutant + your sequel material + no horrifying incest rape scene, a triple win

[geminibsworld]

Preachers daughter (one shot *maybe* )

⚠️: daddy!kink (a bit) innocence!kink, pinv, fingering,oral recieving and giving (m & f)

it was a summer afternoon, church was just starting. pearl, the preachers daughter, sat up front smiling proudly, while her father preached about the good lord. her mother sat next to her, pearl looked around. her eyes landing on Jessie's gang, she rolled her eyes turning around to face the front. she was trying to listen to her father when she felt eyes burning into her. she turned around, her red lips agape, as she's met with bluest eyes she's ever seen.

Billy the kid, of course. an outlaw, basically. he had a wild reputation, he'd never kill anyone but he has a reputation. a harlot reputation. every girl and mom had been with billy. pearl could never, she would never allow it.

"Amen!" voices interrupted her, as she turns around clapping and smiling with everyone else. she stood up with her family, her dress sticking to her as it was 90⁰ outside. it was 1982, and things were simple. pearl and her family lived the simple church life. she liked it that way, simple.

"pearl," her father's voice came into peer, she turned and grinned.

"wonderful speech, daddy," her country accent sweet like honey. billy loved your voice, he knew you sounded like honey so you had to taste like honey. billy cleared his throat taking off his hat as he stood behind the family.

"hello.. young man," pearls father tight lipped smile, glared at billy. he didn't care, he knew what people thought.

Billy's hat was in his hands as he was showing respect, pearl smiled to herself behind her family.

"I've heard you need help on your farm, sir," Billy's gruff Texas accent played like a melody in her ears. she gulped, as she felt chills on the hottest day she's felt in awhile.

"well, uh, I don't know-" her father began.

"sir, I'm a hardworker and I can do anything you need, pay me or don't." Billy's pleaded, his voice trying to not sound desperate. truth was he needed work, he needed to take care of his own self too. he needed to eat.

♡

pearl was outside, on the porch watching Billy front a distance as he was shoveling hay. she watched his back, his tall broad frame yet skinny waist. he was strong, his muscles flexed, and he threw his head back taking off his hat and wiping his forehead.

pearl got an idea. she'd bring him water.

pearl walked out in a small white dress, nothing underneath of course, too hot for all that. her parents were already asleep, she felt bad but was so curious at the same time. she walked feeling the soft grass between her toes under her small feet, holding a jug of water. she felt so nervous, she hadn't talked to a lot of boys before, if so they were related due to her father.

she peered into the barn seeing billy, shirtless this time, sitting on the hay wiping his forehead again.

"y'know it's rude to stare," his voice caused her eyes to bug out of her head. she gulped before saying,

"well, you need water," she stated, quietly feeling nervous now. he stood up over her, and stared down at her, he smirked at her nervousness before grabbing the jug outta her hand and drinking while making eyecontact with her. he watched her shake, he almost laughed. so innocent, he thought. he wanted to see her shake in another way.

"thank you, maam," he handed the water back to her, she gulped nodding not making eye contact. billy noticed this.

"why won't you look at me ?" his voice low, causing a feeling to arise in her in her lower belly. she'd never felt that before.

"well, my momma said if I ever so much as look at a man they'll take advantage of me," pearl said, quietly. billy nodded, taking it in.

"well, I would never take advantage of such a pretty girl," his accent thick, and low now.

pearl gulped stepping back, looking at his naked large chest then back to his eyes then anywhere else. billy liked how innocent she was, how she wouldn't look into his eyes, he craved that.

*

pearl was cleaning up after the service. billy walked by and looked in the stained windows, seeing pearl bent over, he caught a view of her panties. her whole ass was out, and she didn't even notice or so he thought. he decided to walk in when she walked away, he locked the door behind him, quietly. she walked back into the room, she jumped seeing billy.

"h-hi william," she coughed, smoothing down her dress.

"hi, honey," his accent heavy, she shivered when he said that. she shook off her thoughts before asking a question.

"why are you here?" she asked, unsure. billy smiled at her.

"to see my favorite girl of course," pearl looked away, and continued to pick up every Bible.

"I don't think she's here, try again later. normally harlots don't go to church." pearl sneered at him, flipping her long dark hair over her shoulders.

"oh but she is," he stepped towards her, too close, she thought. she gulped, looking away continuing on grabbing every Bible.

"she wears little dresses, never a bra, and always wears the most innocent looking panties. but I know she could be my harlot if I touched her in the right place. would you like that, honey?" his accent low, and rough.

her mouth fell open, she was feeling something she felt the other night. her lower stomach bubbling in heat, a wetness poured in her panties.

billy noticed her silence and her reaction, she looked so small and innocent. he stepped forward, brushing a few hair behind her ear. her bright green eyes staring back. he leaned in and pressed a small kiss to her lips.

she was surprised and pulled back. his eyes darker and his lips fuller now.

she gasped at the sight of him, he was so beautiful.

"have you ever touched yourself before?" his southern accent breaking the silence.

"um no," pearl said, quietly. her cheeks reddened by now, she was biting her lip.

"may i?" he asked her, peering into her eyes.

pearl reluctantly nodded her head, billy picked up pearl like she weighed nothing.

"wrap your legs around me, dollface," and she did. he carried her to the priests office, shutting and locking the door then laying pearl down on the desk. her body lay there, as she anxiously waited, billy threw everything on the floor turning her body so it's long ways.

"billy, I've never done this before," she sat up on her elbows, hair a mess and her strap falling off her shoulder. billy laughed as he took off his belt and vest. he had lost his hat a bit ago, his hair had grown so much.

"baby, I know what you have and haven't done. I still wanna take care of ya," he leaned down between her thighs. she was soaked, she was so embarrassed, she tried closing her legs.

"let me taste you," he mumbled into her, before taking a long wet stripe to her wet patch on her panties. she moaned out, her hands fitting her dress. he pushed up her short dress more, exposing all of her.

"that feels nice," she said, not even realizing what was going on. billy smirked, pulling her white wet panties down her thighs. once they were gone, he pushed her legs up on the desk spreading her all the way open.

billy gasped, she was dripping. literally honey, he thought. he dove right in, no warning. licking her clit, she screamed out. his tongue playing with her clit, slowly.

"oh my-" she breathed out, whimpering. billy smirked to himself before speeding up, his tongue doing soft but fast. a feeling way coming up, she felt like she had to pee. she was a moaning whimpering mess.

"my messy baby, your pussy is soaking. can't wait to feel you around me. " he grumbled into her, she cried out as he took in all her juices, not missing any.

"feel good baby?" he sat her up, she lazily sat up. her hair falling behind her.

"take your dress off baby," she obliged, tiredly. billy smirked watching her as he unbuttoned his button up, and pulled down his pants. her dress was off as she watched him, she looked down and gasped.

"big, ain't it? sometimes the ladies call me billy the man," he laughed, "too bad, I only want you to call me that," he winked at pearl.

"I bet you say that to all the girls," pearl mumbled, looking down away from his gaze. two fingers lifted her head, their eyes met.

"I wouldn't lie to you, honey," he mumbled planting a kiss on her forehead, "now lay back and let daddy do his thing,"

she laid back, his large fingers rubbed her clit in circles. she was seeing stars, she was a whimpering messy little girl and billy loved it.

"billy,-" she breathed out, eyes rolling in the back of her head.

"baby, im gonna try somethin'" suddenly two finger plunged into her, his large fingers giving her a filling feeling. his fingers curled, causing this feeling to happen. billy continued, adding another finger. he finger fucked her, hard.

"daddy," she moaned, billy had to hold back his moan.

"fuck it," he mumbled, grabbing his hardened member spitting on it while rubbing in his precum. while pearl was in her own euphoric world, he played with her small bud rubbing in circles with his thumb.

he placed himself at her entrance, before pushing in slowly. inch by inch by inch, she could feel herself expanding around his large member. the farther he got in the more she wanted more, he pulled all the way out before sliding all the way back in hard. she cried out, he wrapped his toned arms around her back pulling her up, before slamming his hips into hers multiple times.

"fuck bi-daddy," she cursed as he fucked her roughly. rough sex was Billy's favorite and most girls liked it because his big cock.

billy moaned as he fucked her, their hips meeting, he pulled her into a messy kiss. he stuck his tongue in her mouth, she could taste herself. she sucked on his tongue causing this animalistic sound to come out of billy. he pulled away, before pulling her out and flipping her over so she was bent over the desk.

"such a pretty pink pussy baby, can't wait to destroy it," he spit on his cock, jerking it a few times before sliding into her wet hole.

she moaned, billy went in so deeply he could feel her cream on his cock. he grunted, her ass jiggling against him. he reached for her long hair pulling her back so she could look at him as billy was filling her up.

"fuck," she cried out as he plunged into her, billy was turned on, she was his bad girl. he wanted that, he wanted to turn her and he did.

"preachers daughter my ass," he only went harder, she clenched around him crying out. tears staining her pretty pink cheeks.

"you my dirty whore? huh?" billy grunted, pulling her head back more.

"oh my God yes daddy, I'm your dirty whore," she cried out, Cumming again on his cock.

billy was close, he became sloppy yet hard still. he wanted to cum on her back, he wanted to see the cum on her.

"fuck, honey, I'm close," he breathed, letting go of her hair, moving to her lips.

"daddy fuck, don't stop," they moaned together before billy pulled out and finished on her back.

pearl was out of breath, and sore. extremely sore, there was a liquid pouring down her legs. she looked around for billy, he wasn't there. she began to feel used, upset.

billy came walking in, his thermals on and a rag in his hand, she felt much relief.

"lemme take care of this mess baby," he smiled at her, she nodded grinning biting her lip as he wiped her and him clean.

"I'd like to see you again, doll," he smirked, she bit her lip hiding a grin slipping on her dress. she picked her panties off the ground, handing them to billy.

"keep these", she whispered before asking, " you workin today?"

billy smirked getting dressed, before looking at her .

"oh I'm workin' today darlin. I'll take ya home, and we can continue, if you'd like of course." billy said, smooth but sweetly.

"sure, daddy,"

she stopped calling her dad, daddy so dw no one will be confused or weirded out.

[weebsinstash]

I wanna be best buds with Lucifer. All my brain cells r now fixated on the short munchkin dressed like a haunted puppet with depression who CLEARLY needs a new passion project in his life.

Depressed Dad is clearly in need of something or someONE to kick him out of his depression funk. Y/N could be just the ESA he needs. The hell equivalent of those little marimo moss balls parents buy for kids who are too irresponsible to remember to feed fish.

What I'm saying is, the platonic yandere potential is off the charts. We go to Valentino to get hungover and fucked, but we go to Luci for a hangover cure and a comfy couch to crash on.

Honestly I was thinking of something, like

Lucifer just wants to assume everyone down there is the worst, but imagine he comes to the Hotel to see Charlie and Reader is there as a guest and, SOMETHING happens

Like I was imagining it would be really cute if Lucifer's first visit to the Hotel went significantly worse and Charlie and him are arguing and Reader is the one who tries to help them make amends. Constantly fighting the feminine urge to put musicals in these fucking fics or posts but you wind up singing a tune about how WAIT, please don't go, the two of them have to make up, and clearly he's a good person and an even better dad because CHARLIE is like rhe nicest sweetest bestest person you've ever met

and then after you're done Charlie is like BAWLING like when Angel forgave her, just grabbing you and her Dad, "this is the first time they've saaaaang, they've been too shy and they did it for US, that's so beautiful!!!" just like HARD CRYING and you're basically like Honorary Child 2 at that point

I can just. mmm, imagine if you knew Val first and then befriended the Morningstars. Valentino tries to force you to do something one day and you're just like, picking up your phone, staring Val dead in the face as you text someone. FIVE MINUTES LATER, there's a knock to the door of the set, and you rush to open it, and everyone starts losing their fucking MIIIINDS as LUCIFER HIMSELF walks in

You give Valentino a grin that would have made a demon proud as if to say "fucking try me bitch" before turning back to Lucifer, "heeeeeey short king! I'm sorry for messaging out of the blue but I missed you! Hey, i think my friend Mr Valentino was about to like, give me a job or something?"

Lucifer's just all, "oh, you mean like working the lights or, helping mop the floors cause, I don't think that suits a young lady/man/whatever like yourself!"

Like can you imagine Val was having you read some AWFUL like NAAAAASTY script before Luci came in and it's still in his hand and you point at it, "hey isn't that it right there?" And Valentino and potentially even Vox have to SCRAMBLE, "No no not at all, this is, uh, my laundromat receipt!" *shoves the entire booklet into a nearby shark demon's mouth

Lucifer is standing there being, kinda judgy like he was with Charlie's hotel but otherwise being friendly and YOURE the one being the "silent" menace. Valentino is GRINDING his teeth, "soooo, Mr Morningstar, sir, big fan, excellent work, uh, what can we do for you?" And you're just slinging an arm around THE DEVIL "oh, me and him were gonna go grab lunch and I was maybe gonna crash at his daughter's new place where Mr Lucifer here is gonna be visiting all the time. You don't mind right?" and Vox has to step in and answer "yeah, sure no problem!!!" because Valentino is about to devolve into nothing but furious squeaking

This is an idea I'm prolly gonna wind up using for a platonic Husker thing but, Reader having an abusive childhood and Lucifer becomes aware that YOUR dad was a mean piece of shit, definitely down in Hell too or previously exterminated, and Lucifer just finds you like DRUNK IN THE GUTTER, "I'm a looooooser just like my dad". Like. Yandad Luci here is probably the type where he sees you having ONE bad hangover and he's concrete convinced you're a hardcore alcoholic and need rehab STAT. Which may be true but what I'm saying is is that, he sees you at your weakest ONCE and he's suddenly like "Oh no, duckling! cmon, let, uh, let ... Daaaaaad help you? 🥺" and you find out his idea of help is like. Extremely well intentioned but horribly well executed as he's over here, "you know what helps MY depression? Inventing things in my workshop" and you look around to 4000 versions of the same rubber duck and you're like "s so.... is it working" and he just emphatically declares "No! :D but I think it's getting a little better with you here!" and your fate is fucking sealed and wait until Lilith moseys on back into town and finds the "savior" of her goofy little husband and best bud of her daughter and now you've got every Morningstar on your side in totally The Most Normal Ways Possible :)

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Please may I have a Blue exorcist scenario of when you (FEMALE reader *she is a highly skilled Paladin and Rin's childhood friend and everything and she is his girlfriend and the same age as Rin*) basically defended Rin when you made an excuse to talk to Bon alone in his home. You understood his pain considering how you lost your older sister in the blue night when you were a baby at the time but it caused a lot of pain for your family which was understandable considering that they lost a daughter. Your tone generally was serious when you remarked; "Only jerks judge books by their covers man.." Bon didn't appreciate that you called him a jerk when you said that..but you only proved your point when he basically grabbed you by the collar when he asked in a dangerous voice of what exactly you were implying. You told him that you thought that he was a good friend but obviously regarding how Rin had been treated recently..you thought wrong. You basically forced him to apologise to Rin the next day

Kinda angsty but not exactly..it's just the reader teaching someone a good lesson about not judging a book by its cover.

Hi! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I hope you like the scenario!

Fandom: Blue Exorcist

Character: Bon Suguro x gn! Reader (platonic, Reader is in a relationship with Rin)

Work Count: 1.1k (1,118 words)

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You've had enough of Bon badmouthing your boyfriend Rin so you decide to have some strong words with him.

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“Well it’s not my fault I have to share a classroom with this lazy slob.”

“Oh yeah, well it’s not my fault I have to share a classroom with this perfect grade A student who always does well in exams.”

“Uh, Rin, that’s not really an insult…”

“And as if it’s not bad enough that I have to look at your ugly face all the time, you’re the son of Satan. Literally the spawn of the one creature I hate most in this world.”

The classroom fell silent. The longer it went on, the less anyone seemed to know how to break it. Finally your teacher, Rin’s older brother, Yukio, cleared his throat.

Your relationship with Yukio was strange. On one hand, he was your boyfriend’s brother, who loved him dearly but was delighted you were there to help keep him in line. On the other, he was your teacher who you had a healthy amount of both fear and respect for.

You were grateful for his intervention now as both of these roles.

“Well, if you don’t mind, we’ll get back to the class shall we?”

Rin and Bon were still glaring at each other but at Yukio’s words Bon exhaled loudly through his nose and looked away, sitting back down.

Rin scoffed. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Although the words were muttered under his breath, you saw Bons eyes light up in anger again and he raised his hands as if to slam them down on the table.

“Mr Suguro, Mr Okumura, that is enough.” There was a sharp edge to Yukio’s voice now, “You will remain in your seats and, unless you’re answering a question, I don’t want to hear another word out of either of you. Am I understood?”

Silence.

“Am. I. Understood.” It wasn’t a question anymore.

“Yes sir.”

“Yeah.”

Yukio let out a deep breath. “Alright then, back to the topic at hand.”

~ After class had finished, everyone began filing out of the classroom. Yukio called out to Rin as he tried to sneak out and, as they turned into the hallways together, you could hear Yukio berating his brother for making such a ruckus in class.

You stood up from your desk, turning to where Bon was still packing away his supplies. Usually, he was much faster with this, but today you suspected he was trying to put some distance between himself and Rin.

You walked over to him. Shima and Konekomaru were standing next to him, discussing lunch.

“Hey, Bon?”

He looked up from his bag. “Yeah? What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you could help me out with some of the homework. There’s a bit I’m not sure I understand.”

The corner of Bon’s mouth twitched. “Not going to ask your boyfriend for help?” You could hear the jeering tone in his voice but knew it wasn’t directed at you.

“Rin’s great and all but when it comes to study, I’d rather get advice from someone who actually knows what they’re doing.”

Bon smiled. “Yeah, I guess I can’t blame you there. Sure, I’ll help.” He turned to his friends, “You guys go on ahead. I’ll catch up.”

Shima and Konekomaru waved their goodbyes as they left the room. You waited until you couldn’t hear their footsteps anymore before turning back to Bon.

“So, what homework did you need help with?”

You shook your head. “No homework sorry. That was a lie. I just needed an excuse to talk to you alone.”

A frown creased his brow. “About what?”

You took a breath. You’d been waiting for this opportunity for a while and now that it was here, you had to make sure you got what you wanted to say right. “It’s about Rin. And the way you treat him.”

Bon rolled his eyes and stood as if to leave. You stepped in front of him to block his way. Frustration glimmered in his eyes as his frown deepened.

“I know I’m his partner and you might think this is just me looking out for my boyfriend but even if we weren’t a couple, I’d still feel the same way. It’s not cool the way you treat him. Only jerks judge books by their covers man.”

Bon lunged forward, grabbing you by the collar of your uniform and pulling you close. “What exactly are you implying? You don’t know me! You don’t know what I’ve been through because of his father. I lost everything! You could never know what that’s like. And don’t call me a jerk.”

“Oh, don’t I?” Now you could feel the anger rising in your own chest, “So you’re saying I didn’t lose my older sister in the Blue Night? I didn’t have to grow up, knowing my entire life that there was someone so close to me that I would never get the chance to meet?”

You saw realisation hit Bon but you weren’t finished. “I do know Bon. I know better than anyone. And you know what? I still care about him. Because he’s not his father. Oh, and by the way?” You lifted a hand to tap at his, where they were still bunched up in the fabric of your collar, “You are a jerk. If you aren’t, why did you grab me like that just now?”

Bon released your uniform abruptly, as if he’d just realised he was still holding it. “Sorry.”

You smoothed down the fabric. “Yeah, you should be. I’m going to have to iron this now.”

“No, I mean I’m sorry about your sister. And grabbing you. I shouldn’t have said those things. You’re right, I was being a jerk.”

“You shouldn’t be apologising to me. You should be apologising to Rin. He hates Satan as much as you do. He’s not his father.” You sighed. “I thought you were a good friend to him, but I guess I was wrong. If you were really his friend, you’d know that.”

Bon let out a long, deep breath. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. He just has a way of rubbing me the wrong way, you know?”

You laughed. “Oh boy, do I. He’s been an irritation since the day I met him. But he’s a good person. And that’s all that matters.”

Bon nodded, clearly deep in thought.

You picked up your bag and swung it over your shoulder. “Come on. We should get to lunch before it’s finished.”

Bon shouldered his own bag and walked to the door with you. The tension in the room had dissipated, leaving only an understanding between you and Bon.

Before you left, you lightly punched his shoulder. “By the way, you’re apologising to Rin tomorrow okay?”

Bon smiled, chuckling. “Yeah, yeah, okay.”

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[rius-cave]

OHOHOHHHOHO YOU AND THE ANON WANT ADAM REDEEMED?! I’LL GIVE YOU!

What if you couldn’t rise if your soul was owned?

And well, Lucifer owns Adam’s.

And Lucifer also knows he is redeemed now. Heaven told him. -Yes they can tell if someone’s redeemed now, this is like 4-5 years after that major battle, they found a way. Heaven and Hazbin have a deal now also, I’ll get to it.-

But he just wants to ignore and excuse it. He knows how much Adam wants this, he knows he deserves it, but he can’t bring himself. He and Adam finally made up and are a proper couple. Even though ex-sinners can visit Hell, he knows Heaven would never let Adam if it’s him.

And he manages to dodge them for a month until…

Sera.

Sera calls him to a personal meeting and demands that he lets go of Adam’s soul. Using the contract they have -It has an article that Hazbin has to do everything in their power to make sure a redeemed soul reaches to Heaven. If they are holding a soul there in purpose, Heaven is allowed to shut the place down and re-start the exterminations- to threaten him.

You wouldn’t want to be the reason why your daughter’s dreams are destroyed and Adam to see how you kept him to yourself like an obsessive maniac would you?

So uh imma skip these parts but basically Lucifer breaks Adam’s contract and Adam rises to Heaven completely clueless. -It’s another article in the contract that Hazbin also can’t do anything to erase the redeemed sinner’s progress. Sera made this don’t expect it to be in favor of Hazbin Hotel.- And he is BEYOND shocked and confused at why he woke up infront of the gates. -He died in his sleep and went there, that’s how you rise-

And once the shock is gone, he’s happy. Of course he is, why wouldn’t he be?! It’s the fucking Heaven, where he belongs.

But obviously…

He misses Hell. Especially Lucifer, obviously. But just assures himself that he can visit him, he just has to wait a little.

Except he can’t. Sera always dodges his questions and requests, until one day he’s had enough.

He confronts Sera and says it’s his right to go down there. But Sera tells him that it’s not allowed cause well he’s visiting a sin. Adam objects by saying that she never had problems with Angel and Sir Pentious talking and interacting with Lucifer, and Sera says they weren’t ‘corrupted’ and ‘brainwashed’ by him.

Oh that angers Adam of course. He yells at Sera by saying that Lucifer was there offering him his protection when he fell while Heaven was “too busy” to do so.

And Sera finally tells him that he is back here because Heaven ‘managed’ to get Lucifer to free his soul.

And… I’m not sure where I’d go from here. Another reason why I’m sending this actually hehe. I need ideas.

I want Adam to throw his halo to the ground out of anger and become a fallen angel at one point, but I’m not sure where I should put it.

How is this..?

Ooh, interesting, interesting!

I think what I like the most about this is having Lucifer having to pick between Adam and his daughter. Of course he chooses his daughter in the end, especially since it's technically what Adam wants too... doesn't he? This is for the good of everyone, it's not even really choosing between Adam and Charlie, it's about choosing between his own selfish wants and his loved one's sakes.

So yes, absolutely love Lucifer ultimately deciding to let him go, because of course he would eventually.

Also damn, the way Sera is antagonizing this is pretty harsh.

If I may, and since you're asking for more ideas, I kinda like the idea of Adam finding a way (possibly illegal) to contact Lucifer to talk about what the fuck just happened, confront him, maybe even accusing him of leaving him again (yay abandonment issues!) and then either making up or not, depends on how fast you want to take things.

He can throw away his halo if he wants, but that doesn't mean he can just leave Heaven, he has to find a way to sneak past Sera and security and whatnot, to actually leave Heaven and be considered "fallen" (like Vaggie). That, or he does something really big and really stupid that actually gets him vanished from Heaven.

Just brainstorming some ideas lol.

[romanarose]

To the Rescue

Pre-Outbreak!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: Sarah gets her period, and Joel is a bit lost.

Warnings: So much period talk. so much. Thats about it.

EDIT Gotdamn two requests for part two already and it’s been up a few hours 😂 part two it is! Maybe with smut 👀

Let’s see. Comment if you’d like to be tagged!

************

You didn’t wanna assume anything… maybe he knew what he was doing. Maybe he was just trying to find a particular kind. 

Or maybe the 30-something-year-old man was wandering lost around the feminine hygiene aisle overwhelmed because his wife, daughter, or sister sent him to buy some, and he had no idea what he was doing.

“Excuse me, sir?” You gently approach the nervous man. When he turns to you, wide-eyed and red faced, you can’t help but notice how handsome he is, soft brown curls framing a strong jaw and curved nose.

“Oh, ‘scuse me, ma’am.” He nods his head to you, and steps back, presumably to get out of your way.

You smile softly at him, trying to put him at ease. “No, no, you’re alright, I was just gonna ask if you needed any help?”

The man blushes harder at that, dodging your attempts to catch his eyes. He looks like he’s about to refuse, but reconsiders. Looking at the floor and shoving his hands in his pockets, he answers. “My daughter, she started… um… yeah. For the first time today… the nice cashier boy is an older brother of her friend so he let her in the employee bathroom, since apparently, they don’t have a public one.” The annoyance laced his voice, and it’s obvious it had taken a moment to get the poor young girl to privacy. He finally looks at you, not so much embarrassed, but more ashamed. “I should’a been prepared for this, but I thought… I thought I had more time, you know? She’s still a little girl to me, I guess I didn’t see it coming. So. Here we are.”

You nod, listening. “Are you able to contact her mom?”

Shaking his head, he looks away again. “She left when Sarah- uh, my daughter- when Sarah was two, I gave up tryna involve her in Sarah's life by Kindergarden- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be dumping all this shit-I Mean, crap- on you.”

He was a southern gentleman, it seemed, not keen on swearing around women. You felt for him, you did. A single dad in this position wasn’t ease. 

“I see, well, I’m happy to help, if that’s alright.”

An audible sigh of relief escapes him. “That would be great, thank you. I don’t wanna… well she’s already very embarrassed. The cashier was nice, but he definitely saw the blood on her shorts, and she’s pretty humiliated. You know, teenage boy she knows and all that… I don’t wanna make it worse.” He shuffles his feet. “I don’t wanna make her feel like this is something to be ashamed of, or that I’m grossed out. I’m not.” He glances at you before sighing again but keeping eye contact. “I just feel out of my depth that’s all.”

“I understand. This sort of thing can be confusing for adult women do. We learn new things all the time, what works better and what doesn’t. I don’t think anyone expects you to be an expert.”

With a shy smile, the young man extends his hand. “Joel Miller, pleasure to meet yuh, miss.”

You tell him your name, and get to work, not wanting to leave that poor girl waiting. “Any known allergies, Mr. Miller?”

“Please, you can call me Joel. And yeah, she’s allergic to latex.”

Nodding again, you move to a particular section. “Okay, good think I asked because some have latex. Here.” You give him a box of basic Kotex pads and a box of tampons. “This brand is latex free, and they are a good brand. Just make sure you check any new products if you get 'em. She probably won’t want to use tampons for a few years yet, but let’s get 'em just in case” You grab a box of larger ones. “And these are overnight pads, but the first day or two are always the heaviest each month, and if I’m being honest, I just use these the first day, even with a tampon.” Your face suddenly matches Joel’s blush. “Sorry, that’s probably TMI”

“No!” He reassures, wide-eyed. “I don’t mind, any information is helpful- uh- if you’re comfortable, of course.”

You can’t seem to stop smiling at him. “Yeah. I’m pretty open. Well, for me, my first two days are insanely heavy, and the tampons bleed through really quick, so if I’m at work it's better just to have a big pad on to prevent leaks. I think it’s safe to say she’s gonna like these while she is figuring things out.”

Joel nods, and you can tell he’s trying very hard to take in this information. He grabs another box of the over night pads, then looks at you. “Just in case”

“Okay, now, you said she bleed through her clothes right?”

Joel scrubbed his face. “Oh god, yeah, and they don’t sell clothes here, huh.” He sighs, before coming up with a plan. “That's okay” I’ll just wrap my jacket around her.”

“Here.” You toss him some baby wipes. “You go check out, I got some sweats in my car, I’ll grab them and meet you at the employee bathroom.”

His eyes go wide at that. “Oh! Oh no, miss, thank you but you don't have to-”

But you hold out a hand to quiet the handsome single dad. “I want to. And they are just shitty sweats, don’t worry for one minute.” Before he could argue, you leave him, and soon you return to the front where Joel is trying to get his daughter to open the door… but she’s refusing.

“Sarah, honey, it’s okay, it’s okay I’m just gonna hand you what you need-”

“No!” You can hear her yell from the bathroom, and you can’t imagine she’s older than 10.

You step up to the door. “Hey, Sarah? I’m a friend of your dads. I got some clean clothes for you, if you crack open the door I have a towel you can cover yourself with, and I can help you, or if they you think got it-”

The door unlocked, and Joel looked visibly relieved as you handed her the beach towel through the cracked door. 

“Is this alright? I’ll keep the door unlocked and be in and out.” You assure him, and he agrees.

“I really appreciate all your help; I can’t say thank you enough.” 

Sarah calls that you can come in, and with a towel covering her you show her the products and explain how to use them. You slip out again and lean against the wall looking at an anxious Joel.

“She okay? She good?” He asks you, the worry evident on his face.

You were quick to reassure him. “She’s alright, just embarrassed, but I managed to slip in that you were absolutely not weirded out and not nervous at all.”

“Already lying for me, huh darl’n?”  He chuckles a bit, finally seeming to relax. “You really came to my rescue.”

You could stare at his soft brown eyes all day… “It’s alright. No one really prepares you for this as a dad.”

The smile on his face falls. “But I should’ve prepared myself, you know?” his large hand goes to rub the back of his neck. “I don’t want you to think I didn’t try, really. When her mom left I really tried to… you know… learn how to do both, the mom stuff and dad stuff.” Joel chuckled a bit. “I can throw a mean tea party.”

Smiling softly, you hope your face doesn’t show one of judgment. "I bet you can."

“But then she just got older so fast… ”

“How old is she?”

“10”

“Well, in your defense, that is a little earlier than expected.” You can see his eyes widen, so you’re quick to assure him. “Not too early! Any time between 9 and 16 I think is normal and healthy. 12-13 is the average though.”

He wouldn’t stop beating himself up about it. “I should’ve been prepared, but my ma died before Sarah was born and I work with all men so I just… didn’t have anyone to ask, and then I know I could probably look it up but I didn’t even know what I’m looking for, plus it’s the internet so I wasn’t really sure what I’d see-”

“Joel!” You stop him, laughing and putting a hand on him, hoping to cool his anxious over-explaining… he relaxes into your touch. “I have been getting mine for ages, and I still find myself getting caught off guard without products. You’re a good dad, okay? You’re trying your best, and from what I’ve seen, you’ve raised a lovely, polite young lady. You’re not gonna traumatize her because you didn’t have pads.”

When he smiles at you, you can’t help but fall into those puppy-dog eyes just a little bit more.

Sarah emerges from the bathroom, looking at the floor but trying to put on a brave face. You decide to leave them be, let them go home so the poor girl could rest and Joel could calm down.

“I’m going to finish my shopping, any more questions before I go, sweetie?”

She gives a light smile. “No ma’am, thank you.”

“You’re very welcome. Joel?” You ask the girls dad, and he laughs as he shakes his head.

“Got about a thousand, but I’ll figure it out.”

“Dad” Sarah urges him to stop talking, so Joel does. 

“Thank you, miss. I appreciate it.”

You say goodbye to both, and go to retrieve your shopping cart. 

Meanwhile, Joel watches you leave, before Sarah speaks up.

“Who was that? She said she was a friend of yours, but you don’t have friends other than Uncle Tommy.”

“Hey now, little lady.” Joel looks down at her, but Sarah just gives him a look. “Fine, you got me. Just a nice lady helping a hopeless old man.”

“Well, she was nice. Can we go home? I think I deserve some of that candy you keep hidden away.”

“How do you know about that?”

“You fall asleep watching TV with your mouth full of chocolate.” Sarah then flops her head back, mouth open, imitating a loud snore. 

Joel gently bonks her head, making the pre-teen giggle. “Alright I get your point, fine. Let’s go home.” Joel put his arm around his daughter, walking her outside as he carried the back of products and her dirty shorts.

When Sarah stuffed her hands into your large sweatpants, she felt something in the pocket. “Oh I hope he doesn’t need this.”

“What is it?” Joel hoped it was important so he had an excuse to find you and talk to you again. 

Sarah handed him a business card. It had your name, and business and cellphone number printed on it, but it was the back that caught his attention. Written in blue ink, it said: “Call me, cowboy <3”

******************

First Joel with no smut XD

I was debating writing this or a dark!joel one shot, but christ, my dark joel series is *dark* so i needed to lighten myself up a bit.

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

IDK who else is reading none smutty joel so i guess im just tagging fen bc they read all my nonsense XD

[itsclydebitches]

ok ok ok but imagine trent's daughter, Phoebe and Henry, on a playdate or exploring stadium together? Like how have these kiddos not become friends??

YOU'RE SO RIGHT, ANON.

Headcanon time:

During a weekend training Henry is visiting again, Roy's sister is sick so he's justifying the Best Uncle award Phoebe gave him last year (it's very glittery), and Trent's babysitter unexpectedly bailed. So they all trail into work with kids that day and Rebecca is like, "Excuse me this is not a fucking daycare."

She says this while giving them all a kiss.

Pheobe: "That's a bad word, Ms. Welton, you owe me a pound."

Henry and Phoebe immediately race outside to play with the team but Trent's daughter, who is both younger and has never played football before, is just the shiest little bean about joining in. Trent, expert in anxious parenting, is prepared to run damage control with her favorite coloring books but Ted holds him back and within ten minutes Phoebe is showing her the ropes while Henry is Very Seriously working to tie her hair back for her.

Henry: "Excuse me, Mr. Independent sir, but can I borrow another hair-tie?"

Trent: "... how do you know my name?"

Trent, internally: Wait. Mr. Independent isn't my name??

Trent, with shorter hair than in Season 2: "Never mind that. How do you know I have hair-ties?"

Henry, answering both questions: "Daddy."

[Trent.exe has stopped working]

Rebecca, shouting across the pitch: "Give her pigtails, Henry! There you go!"

So the crimmlet learns some football and Trent, after recovering from his Omg Ted Talks About Me to His Son panic almost sorta kinda cries about it. By this point the himbos are absolutely in love with the trio and would die for them, no hesitation. (Dani actually says this, which is mildly alarming for the kids). After some super secret techniques are shared -- Phoebe: "This is how you kick the ball into someone's face. Uncle Ted loves it!" -- they all decide that they should probably get some actual training done. Besides, Henry just brought up the West Ham game he went to and... uh...

Yeah. Best to scoot them on out of there. Unconditional love doesn't trump hatred of West Ham, unfortunately.

The stadium houses a team of pro athletes and a massive staff of sleep-deprived professionals, meaning that there's plenty of food to go around for lunch. Ted (childhood personified) and Trent (a domestic mess post-divorce) are both happy to let the kids pig out on snacks. A growled "Fuck that" from Roy sends them off to the kitchen downstairs.

Do stadiums have kitchens? No idea. Probably not. This one does!

Trent, carryout aficionado: "So... does anyone know how to cook?"

Roy: "Do I fucking look like I have time to cook?"

Trent: "This was your idea."

Roy: "Shut up."

Ted: "Hmm. I'm afraid I'm more of a baking man myself."

The kids have been sitting at the counter, heads ping-ponging back and forth as they watch their three guardians fail the basic task of feeding them. Luckily for their faith in adults, it's about this moment that the crimmlet remembers that this is Ted.

Biscuit Ted.

Did you know that Trent Crimm used to be in a band? A metal band? That for six months in college he rebelled in the only way he knew how - artistically - and screamed everything he was keeping bottled up inside until he learned to purge himself through vicious prose instead?

His daughter inherited his lungs.

A six-year-old's high-pitched screaming + the reverberation of a primarily metal space = Significant Pain. Ted's, "Holy moly, Ms. Banshee!" is barely audible and Roy just nopes out of the situation without a shred of guilt. Phoebe and Henry -- immune to loud noises in the way only children can be -- exchange a A Look over the top of the crimmlet's head. Because she's screaming for the biscuits Ted gives her every week.

Henry hasn't had his Dad's cookies in six months.

Phoebe hasn't had them at all.

Now the screaming is joined by Very Indignant Yelling.

Trent: "Ted just make them some fucking biscuits."

Ted: "Right because that's healthier than the vending machines!?"

But one sugary meal is worth saving their eardrums, so.

There's an immediate change in tune when Ted asks who's gonna help him lick the bowl. Instant peace. Baking with three kids is messy, to put it mildly, and Ted isn't entirely sure how flour got into Trent's hair, but it definitely has more white streaks in it than it did this morning. Without thinking, he reaches up to smooth some of the flour away, fingers dragging gently through a lock and brushing his cheek in the process.

[Trent.exe has stopped working x2]

Crimmlet, tugging his pantleg with little flour handprints: "Daddy can the biscuit man stay forever?"

Trent, voice strangled: "... sure, honey."

Higgins pops in to find an absolute disaster of a kitchen and the normally unruffled Trent with cheeks the color of maraschino cherries (what's that about?). After getting caught up on events -- what they're willing to admit to, anyway -- he gently informs them that he could have fixed the kids a meal not made out of sugar and butter. Ah well. Too late now.

Higgins: "Also, Ted, shouldn't you be coaching the boys?"

Ted: "I'm sure Beard has it well in hand."

[Hard cut to the team seated semi-circle around Beard. He's lecturing on the drugs they can take without tanking their careers. Many are taking notes.]

The one good thing about a sugar high is that the crash comes right afterwards. Pheobe managed to get the crimmlet on her shoulders and the three of them raced off to explore the stadium, burning with short-term energy. Trent is mildly concerned about them sneaking out, but Ted reassures him that there's security at every exit. You know, to keep any... uh...

Trent: Press out?

Ted: Not all the press.

Trent: Oh, so I'm an exception am I?

Higgins, still standing there, forgotten, thinking about the book Trent is writing and how yes, he's literally an exception??

Ted: Trent Crimm you are not only an exception, you are exceptional.

[Trent.exe has stopped working x3]

Higgins, internally: OHHHHHHHHH

Later, there is a brief moment of panic when they can't find the kids -- Roy: "Don't worry. I once lost Phoebe and she turned up in my neighbor's bathtub with a new haircut." Ted: "Huh. That there's a story for another time." -- but Will ushers them quietly into the storeroom where they're piled like puppies on a bed of clean laundry, fast asleep. Ted snaps a picture and immediately sends it to the Richmond group chat. The himbos all come running to see the wholesomeness for themselves.

Will, whispering: They're so cute!! ... wait, now I need to do the laundry again :(((

Dani: No. Do not. Their beautiful, sleepy essence will help us win games.

Will: ... weird, but alright.

Henry's getting a little big for this now, but Ted manages to lift him bridle style and gently presses a kiss into his hair. Trent tenderly picks his little girl up, hand cradling her curls.

Roy slings Phoebe over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She doesn't stir.

Rebecca sternly tells them that they're never to do this again, but also if she doesn't see the trio soon they'll regret it. Here's the ten pounds I owe Phoebe. Also there had better be some biscuits left, Ted.

Henry only wakes when they're back at the apartment, Beard flipping through nature documentaries while Ted kicks his legs up into his lap. Henry squeezes between the two of them.

Ted: "You have fun today, kiddo?"

Henry: "Uh huh."

Ted: "Hey, what's Trent's daughter's name anyway?"

Henry: "Oh... I never asked."

Beard tuts. "Why you wanna know so bad?"

Ted: "I just figure I should know his kid's name before I ask him out."

[Trent, twelve miles West, suddenly and without any warning getting hit with an absolute fuckton of feelings]:

[fandomworld9728]

The Life of the Morningstars - Chapter 12:

"Dad! It's time to get up!" Knocking on the door, Charlie was starting to get worried. He hadn't answered any of her calls or texts to come join them for breakfast. She even made their favorite type of pancakes as a nice little welcome treat. "Dad? I'm coming in!" 

Taking out her master key, the princess let herself in and quickly covered her nose at the strong smell that had filled the room. The smell of overripe and sour apples along with burnt honey so strong it gagged her. Quickly closing and locking the door, Charlie went to open the window to air it out only to stop. What if the smell drew people to the hotel to try and find out who it was coming from?

No. She wasn't going to mess up again. What did she do or let happen that cause this sort of reaction from her dad? And how was she going to air this place out safely?

Sitting up in bed, Lucifer looked around the room trying to wake up and focus. "Charlie...?

"Oh, thank fuck!" Rushing over to him, she sat on the edge of the bed before pushing some hair out of his face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I think... I think I was wrong. A scent set me off. Luckily, it didn't trigger my heat. I'm sorry I made you worry. I thought for sure..." He was usually more careful than this. Now his gross and soured scent was probably leaking out of the room. This is why he preferred to live alone. So that he couldn't fuck up like this and bring trouble to his darling daughter.

"No! No, I'm sorry. I should have put my foot down and paid better attention. I-I... I'm not as good of an alpha as I thought..."

"Charlotte Annette Morningstar! Don't you ever say that about yourself again. I am so proud of the alpha you have grown into. You just haven't had a proper teacher seeing as your mother didn't want to teach you and left us... and as much as we love Beel and Ozzie, and their nontraditional view on second genders, that didn't really work in your favor for the basics of omega care."

Lucifer felt like he failed her as a parent. There weren't many omegas here in Hell. Not even among the Hellborn. Not to mention, as far as he knew, Lucifer himself had been the only omega angel in Heaven. That could have changed while he was gone but that meant he also wasn't taught about his own biological make up. The ones who would have the most information on this would be the sinners.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do. You head on down to breakfast while I air out my room. I'll come down and join you when I'm done. After, you will find a proper alpha teacher. I recommend a sinner you trust."

~

Lucifer hadn't expected this kind of reaction. After he had used his wings and a portal to air out his bedroom, he came down to join everyone for breakfast only to find everyone but Charlie looking like they were either high or drunk. When asking his darling daughter about it, she was just as surprised as he was but figured it had to do with his scent rushing out when she had opened his door earlier.

Since she grew up around it, it didn't affect her unless she was emotionally distressed. Even Alastor, the creepy bastard, was relaxed in his chair. Lucifer wasn't sure if he should be flattered or uncomfortable.

"Hey there toots~ What uh... what is that amazing smell?" Angel asked, laying boneless on the floor. "I ain't never felt this good before."

"Oh! Uh... w-well..."

"Yeah. Don't keep it a secret. I feel like I got buzzed off the best high shelf shit in all of Hell." Husk had his upper body draped over the bar, looking like he was on the verge of passing out. Unlike Vaggie who actually was passed out. At least she looked comfortable. The egg bois of Sir Pentious' were huddled around her.

Speaking of the snake. He didn't seem to be here. Though, the sounds coming from the kitchen gave away his location. Did... did Lucifer's scent make him hungry? That was a new one.

The only one who didn't seem effected by it at all was Niffty. Which made sense seeing as she was a beta. Seems like she might end up being Lucifer's saving grace when he couldn't control his scent, as much as that freaked him out. Maybe he shouldn't have brought up saving graces... every time he did, the world had to screw him over. Case in point, Alastor opening his mouth and making it so he had to go and change pants.

"Yes, Charlie. What is that smell? It is utterly delicious."

Oh. Lucifer was so screwed. Maybe he needed a vacation to the Lust or Greed Ring. Hell, he'll even visit Wrath at this point!

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[whore4mattsstubble]

THE BOYFRIEND

m.s

summary:matt meets his teenage daughters new boyfriend..

yours and matts daughter,macey ,had a boyfriend.you was happy for her but matt wasn’t a fan.

macey came running down the stairs shouting at her father,

“omg!! dadddd!”

macey rolled her eyes at the sight of her dad laying in his pjs scrolling on his phone.

“danny is on his way,you need to get dressed.”

matt stared at his daughter as he sighed and finally complied.

“fine but this ‘boy’ better be worth MY time.”

he empathised the ‘my’ as he got up to get ready.

-later on-

a knock was lightly hit onto your small, happy family’s door.

macey basically threw herself down the stairs ,fixing her hair and new dress she’d just put on,shouting to her parents

to come down. you were in the kitchen getting a glass of water for yourself, while matt was walking down the stairs smiling slyly as he saw his daughters face drop. you were confused as you watched her face droop but as soon as you peeked your head around the door frame that blocked your view of what made her smile fade,you realised..matt was wearing his t-shirt..or more like THE t-shirt,to be more specific the one that read..’i know i have a beautiful daughter but i also have a gun,a shovel and an alibi’

you burst out into a fit of giggles ,the water from the cup you just drank out of almost spilling out your mouth, but macey did NOT find that funny at all.

as you laughed she gave you a death stare which made you laugh even harder.

macey broke the awkward silence.

“dad. change. now.”

matt laughed and cut himself off with a simple but strong “no.”

your daughter stared at you for a moment until she said,

“mom please tell him to change!”

you thought for a second and stared matt down.

“hey,sweetie mabye you-“

you were cut of as matt opened the door giving you and macey a smirk.

the boy was stood outside he definitely heard the conversation that just happened. he stood outside awkwardly awaiting to be allowed in. you could tell he was a kind and polite boy but matt couldn’t care less.

“oh my god come in! sorry sweetheart.”you invited danny,the boy,in.

“its fine Mrs.Sturniolo,”

it was obvious the poor boy was intimidated by matt,especially his shirt.

the boy gulped as matt looked him up and down,danny put his hand out to shake your husbands hand as he looked up at him.matt firmly shook his daughters boyfriends hand.

danny finally spoke up

“p-pleasure to meet you,uhh sir? or is that to formal? h-how about Mr.Sturniolo.is that okay..?”

matt stared down at the boy.

“sirs fine,kid”

matt sat down staring at the basketball that was playing on the tv.

you spoke up.

“oh danny your poor thing,you can sit

down if you want!”

danny sighed a sigh of relief

“thank you Mrs.Stur-“

you cut him off

“ you don’t have to call me ‘Mrs.Sturniolo, y/ns fine darling!”

the boy was seemingly more comfortable with you than your husband

“oh thank you,mrs- oh i mean y/n!”

he gave you a most sincere smile youd ever seen.if you wanted your daughter to be dating anyone it would be

this boy.

you left the room with your daughter leaving matt and danny in the living room.

the awkward tension wasnt getting better so matt spoke,

“what are your intentions with macey.”

the boy was startled by this sudden approach.

“u-uhm ,sir i just want to make her feel happy and uh-comfortable.”

“ok.good..” matt mumbled

“are you having ‘it’ with macey yet.”

matt was straightforward no questions asked.

“no,matt- i mean sir. no sir.”

matt gave a sigh of relief

“phew, if you were i would’ve murdered you right hear right now!”he chuckled.

dannys face was full of fear.

“just joking ,kid, but seriously you picked the right answer.”

macey walked in,

“hey dad, hey danny! ima steal him for a bit, love you dad”she grabbed dannys arm and pulled him upstairs.

you walked into the living room after macey and danny left to go upstairs.

“hey ma “ matt breathed

“hey bernard” you giggled

“mamas.dont call me thatt.”

“fine” you rolled your eyes jokingly

“i have come here for a reasonnn thoughhhh!”you pouted.

“and whats that baby?” matt raised his eyebrow playfully.

“why do you have to be so mean to danny! he’s such a sweet,good and polite boy!”

matt mumbled,”i dont know im just trying to protect my daughter,shes are only child ,ma!”

“fine.but shes 16 now shes bound to grow up.”you reply.

“fine you’re beautiful face and voice has convinced me to give the boy a chance.but only one.”matt sighed but smiled.

you kissed matts head and got up.

“atta’ boy!”

he smirked.

-when dannys about to leave-

macey opens the door for danny and plants a kiss on his cheek and whispers

“i love you , see you soon.” and skips up to her room.

matt and y/n then walk to the door.

“awh i hope you have a great day,aslong as you look after my macey your a good boy danny.”you say smiling

“thank you for having me miss y\n,see you soon.” the boy said.

he then stared at matt a lump grew in his throat.

ah kid i tried to hate ya’ but i couldnt your in my goodbooks. matt patted him on the back

danny smiled and said

“see ya sir”

and walked off he was a

good boy.

“see wasnt that hardd was it bernard!!”you smiled

“i said dont call me that mamasss!”

“but he is a good kid”

“he is indeed,he definitely was scared of you though.”

you said.

[crossedsabers10s]

I saw something about Damon being a shapeshifter and going gender is stupid. Any more hcs or scenarios on that?

alkfdjalkfjdsf okay okay so!!! In S1 he was very much playing a role. He was the Bad Guy. Except that was to mask his real mission. He was there to save Katherine. Tormenting Stefan and causing trouble in Mystic falls are also goals, but secondary to the first, more amusements than anything. He also probably spent literal decades planning out exactly how everything was going to go. Some of his decisions were absolutely for the Drama. Like. Taking a Founding Family Daughter to a Ball in the Lockwood Manor to Retrieve the Amulet-Key??? Dramaaaa. He didn't need to do that. (I mean part of it was def Bothering Stefan, but he really could have just gotten an invitation into the house discreetly at any point prior. There was time between the comet 'charging' Emily's Amulet and the night of the party.) It really just strikes me as 'This is The Plan.' one he's spent who knows how long thinking of. So he has a Role to Play. That role is romantic hero/vengeful lover. He's very set on that, plus I imagine he wanted to present himself as similar, but not quite the same as the man Katherine has once known. Being in Mystic Falls, he's deliberately portraying a version of himself.

This being a very rambling way to say that after he realizes his entire life was based off a lie, Damon goes back to--like yeah sure I'm generally guy-shaped--(insert someone repeating 'generally?' with confusion here)--but who cares about that??? This vampire has spent decades hanging out in every dive bar imaginable and a lot of them had been drag clubs and gay bars and sex clubs and every shade of what society demanded be kept away from the rest of them. Gender isn't even like. some unimportant human concept to him, it's also one humans Made Up that doesn't apply to Other Humans and some of them just enforce the idea of it. It starts off small, in the 'when did you paint your nails?' sense, then he just starts going, yeah this IS a woman's top, but I'm rocking it and I Can Kill You, i think that's more important than how good I look in this sweater. Boots with more of a heel to them, occasional makeup, just whatever he feels like at the time. Sometimes he keeps his original body but wears a skirt, sometimes it's ambiguously androgynous in the 'excuse me, ma'am--sir? sorry, uh, here's your coffee.' And sometimes it's oh those are very much breasts, but that is a men's shirt and his face has stubble. Very nice clothes, like he had tailored shirts in canon, it's the same here. Really nice tops and skirts and shoes. Makeup On Point, expensive stuff, subtle jewelry, Caroline is lowkey annoyed he has such good taste. and also keeps wanting to look through his closet. Throw in some shapeshifting and its 'Are you a man or a woman?' 'I'm a vampire. Sometimes I'm a crow.' 'But what's in your pants?' 'fangs.' Given how very small town 2009 Mystic Falls is, this does not endear him to some people and probably sets him further apart than he was in canon. Though, I do like to imagine that the Originals don't even blink at this and just take it in stride before going back to their Murder Plots. Elijah is particularly gentlemanly, and does all those automatic 'holding out his arm' or 'holding the door, or a jacket' gestures with no reserve.

At some point Damon replaces all the (he usually goes by he because he doesn't especially equate pronouns with gender and does switch it up occasionally but sticks with he/him and his original name bc that's what he introduced himself as and bc Stefan would Make It a Thing--more about Damon throwing away every connection to his human life than him being a jackass, i think, but) but he replaces the pictures of the original Salvatore Siblings in the town archives and basically invents a sister solely for the purposes of gaslighting people into thinking he's the Original Damon Salvatore's Vampire Twin Sister Who Assumed Her Brother's Identity. Elena has to actually ask Stefan if he has a sister, which he denies, except it was a confusing conversation which left her unsure if they actually had a sister at some point or not and Damon somehow convinces her that Stefan doesn't know the actual truth and that he's his own twin. (He was very bored between the post-Tomb Opening binge drinking and depressed episodes.)

Katherine, watching this go down through binoculars: I think I'm proud? Shame he's going to try to kill me, I want to know where he gets his shoes.

i imagine if he wanted to keep up the Masquerade, but walk around town in a different form, he has an ID and backstory all set for a distant cousin on his mother's side. Her name is Desdemona, yeah they do look a lot alike, they both take after their mother's family. Stefan, stuck escorting his 'cousin' around town: please stop inventing Family Drama to talk about, you literally killed off any real family we have.

Damon, who has made a fake family tree and charts and has files on personalities complete with Thanksgiving Dinner Level Gossip: Not on your life. Don't you want to know how cousin Georgina gets back at Evil Aunt Charlotte?

Stefan: ...you need a hobby. A different hobby.

Damon: listen, it's this or murder. you pick.

Stefan: *sighs* Did Cousin Georgina elope?

Damon: She Eloped!! This, of course, enraged Evil Aunt Charlotte so much she had a heart attack and died!! Right there in the dining room!!

Stefan: we told people we were orphans with no close family, Damo--..Desdemona.

Damon, mentally plotting out how Evil Aunt Charlotte's funeral is going to have suspicious man in all black attend, who, when he turns to leave, reveals a gun under his jacket: We were estranged, problem solved. They didn't like Father. honestly, who did?

okay that took a very cracky turn but!! Vampires using their powers and immortality for Ridiculous Shit is my favorite thing

Gradually practicing until he can hold a full shift for as long as he wants and just disappears for a week to be a bird bc god knows the murders hanging around town are more fun than the people. Blood red lipstick and winged eyeliner and feathers nearly blending in with black hair. Eyes a touch too wide or irises oddly sized, dark blue nearly corner to corner. Spends a month breaking limbs oddly often bc he fucked up his bones and now theyre hollow even when he’s human-shaped. Maybe in this verse vampires are a bit wilder, a bit more connected to dark powers, and Damon especially so. Some others get stuck or can only partially adopt animal form, giving them a bestial appearance—and play their part in the myth of vampirism, the origin of some of the world’s stories.

Stefan can’t shift, doesn’t really have that talent and has none on animal blood, but when he isn’t maybe he can float a bit. Some murderous parody of Peter Pan—forever young and forever luring people away never to be seen again. (He could fly in the books, once he’s had more than animal blood. So could Damon.)

[midnightmuffingay]

Rating the pets of EAH based on what is on the EAH wiki and my limited knowledge:

Adelita - Rosabella's butterfly. I have never heard of this. Also apparently Adelita translates to 'noble'?? 3/10 I don't think it suits her and also how do you keep a butterfly as a pet.

Barber - Poppy's squirrel monkey. I guess squirrel monkeys are cute and I can see it as a pet for her but I have yet again no memory of this. 5/10

Clipper - Holly's lion cub. Apparently it is 'charmed' to stay a cub forever?? Don't know how that work or why she has a lion or why she would name it Clipper?? there are better names girl. 3/10

Carmine - Cerise's dire wolf. Okay so technically they're part of the same pack or something but it's the daughter of Littler Red Riding Hood and the big Bad Wolf. You can't go wrong with giving her a wolf friend whose name is another shade of red. 6/10

Carrolloo - Kitty's caterpillar. A sneaky little guy. From what we saw of him he compliments Kitty's personality and you know, a caterpillar with a wonderlandian? It's not like I can be mad. 6/10

Clockwork - Cedar's wooded cuckoo. Okay I do actually like this a lot. Even if we never really saw him it's a great concept for her pet to be wooden like her. Especially when you consider it would probably have to been made specifically for her. I love it 8/10

Clydesdale - Farrah's pet mouse. Don't recall and there are better mice. 2/10

Divacorn - Briar's unicorn. Absolutely slayed so hard I don't care about the name which is an astonishing feat. I mean of course Briar would have a pink unicorn it just makes sense. 8/10

Drake - Hopper's dragonfly. Drake. 2/10 Only getting extra points because it is a literal DRAGONfly. He breathes fire.

Earl Grey - Maddie's dormouse. Perfection. Best dressed of all of the pets. Is a silly little guy with a silly little hat that lives in her hat. Impeccable. 10/10

Gala - Apple's snow fox. Gala is a great name just because of the fact this it is not only a type of apple but also a fancy party. Very royal, on brand, like to curl around her neck. Iconic. 8/10

Grizz - Blondie's baby bear. Blondie. Girlie. You are a reporter. Please get original. A bear for goldilocks' daughter is fine but it's just like. I'm bored girl. You can do better. 3/10

Jelly - Ginger's gummy fish. I. Love this. A sentient gummy fish she accidentally made? So iconic I'll ignore the basic name. It's like naming your goldfish 'Goldie'. Anyway, I love the concept, love the execution. 8/10

King Benedict - Humphrey's chicken. No. 2/10 for egg related name.

Mr. Cottonhorn - Dexter's jackalope. Guys. Guys. look at him.

He's just a little guy. 10/10.

Moustro - Melody's rat. I like the idea and the pun name but I feel like I'd need to see a picture to be impressed. 5/10

Nevermore - Raven's dragon. There is no need for discussion. 10/10

P-Hawk - Daring's peacock. I think I remember him being kind of terrible so uh 1/10 because Daring I don't think that's how you say peacock honey.

Pesky - Hunter's squirrel. I love how even though they're like enemies they have the same haircut and Pesky has a little acorn bag that Hunter definitely made for him. Lives up to his name. 7/10

Philia - Cupid's Pegasus. Apparently 'Philia' is one of the ancient greek words for love that is often translated to friendship. soooo, even though I didn't know about her she gets a 6/10 because I think that's sweet.

Pirouette - Duchess's swan. Queen. Icon. Slay. Need I say more? 10/10

Sandella - Ashlynn's phoenix. The fact that Ashlynn has a phoenix because it rises from the ashes is so hardcore and I love it. Even if her name is Sandella. 7/10

Shuffle - Lizzie's hedgehog. The bestest and cutest little croquet ball. I don't have much to say but love you dearly. 7/10

Sir Gallopad - Darling's horse. He can change colour and camouflage which is THE coolest thing. Horsegirl Darling. 8/10 Also Daring officially has the worst pet out of the Charming siblings.

Spindle - Faybelle's pomeranian. Of course an evil fairy you have such an unassuming evil little dog. And of course she named it after her evil destiny. Iconic. 8/10.

[cognacdelights]

tilly coming home with a boy and uncle b and dad are like omg😟

okay so tilly definitely dates a boy who drives a truck. and, of course, tilly knows how protective everybody is so she gave her parents a little white lie as to where she was going and who she was with.

so, after their date tilly and the boy (we'll call him hunter) pull up at her house and hunter is being a gentleman in making sure that tilly gets home and wants to walk her up to the front door. and he does, and they're hand in hand, and hunter is so smooth like he tucks tilly's hair behind her ear and cups her face with his hand and moves in for the kiss.

so tilly and hunter are having a good night kiss (and maybe he's getting a little handsy) when uh oh jj gets the ring doorbell notification... and he sees it and is like "what the fuck??" and because him and john b are playing with axel in the backyard john b's like "what?" and so he shows him. then jj's immediately on the speaker like "you've got five seconds to get your hands off my daughter before me and her uncle come out there with our bat!" and oh my god... tilly is DYING of embarrassment and hunter is scared and is like "uh, sorry, sir" and makes the quickest exit you have ever seen.

as soon as tilly's through the door she's like "mooooom! dad just threatened my maybe boyfriend with a bat!" and running off up the stairs to basically grass jj up to indie about what he said. and to avoid the police interrogation she knew she would get about hunter and where they've been and what they were doing, etc. miss girl is still dying of embarrassment

[writer1queenjaysblog]

This is for you!

Hell's uncontrolled fire

(Obsessed Rollo x my oc Angelica. Rollo becomes obsessed with her like follow did in the movie. Which not only leads to a dark place but it sends him into a world of delusions and obsession. Warning ⚠️ 18++ mention of sexual urges and desires, kidnapping, drugging, attempted m*rder, Stockholm syndrome, gaslighting.)

Angelica was a beauty to be hold and seen which everyone in Night Raven College knows she's not only the only girl she's a beautiful woman that everyone wants.

Some may say she's a man's lady or she's memorizing to look at as if she's cast a spell on you but that was what guts said about her through her journey with the now 2nd years Ace, Deuce, Epel, Jack and her fav talking fire breathing tuna loving cat Grim.

She was 5'5 with beautiful brown skin. She had the most beautiful eyes you'd ever seen and trust me when I say half the school caught feelings for this now 22 year old girl who is the adopted daughter of the head master of the school.

What she looks like

Her beautiful long black hair drapes over her shoulders and back like silk and her curves were to die for. Everyone shot their shots but no luck 😂🤞 she was teasing, playing with them just to see how far they'd think they were going to get with her.

An event was coming up soon and boy oh boy was she excited to see where she was going!

She arrived at the school that was almost like a cathedral and it was beautiful stained glass of different colors making the place look heavenly.

She walked in with the others and they saw a man with a cap and tired like eyes sniffing a cloth purple with stars on it, he then put it away and looked at her he looked shocked as if he's seen her before.

Rollo's pov

As I looked at this girl she took my breath away as if she placed a spell on me. It was as if no one else was there but me and her I looked at her she had a kind of glow around her it looked like heaven's light, a warm and loving glow that I yearn for.

"Uh Rollo are you sir?" Said one of my associates "Ahem yes I'm fine my apologies you must be from Night Raven College?" "Yes we are I'm Angelica you must be Rollo."

'Angelica~ the voice, name, and body of a angel.' "Please to meet you gentlemen show the boys to their rooms and I will show Angelica to her room."

I couldn't take my eyes off her as she smiled at me with those beautiful brown eyes that could place you in a trance.

"Here's your room dinner will be ready soon." "Thank you Rollo your so sweet and kind." I felt my heart throb then skipped a beat or two what is wrong with me?! "Thank you dear ."

I smiled closing the door and feeling my heart race as I leaned against the door "God..if this is the sign I prayed for into finding a wife please tell me.. please."

No one's pov

Grim basically was glaring at Rollo after he left he spoke "Grr I don't trust the Rollo guy he's creepy and weird you shouldn't be alone with him!"

"Grim I'm ok really and plus I think he's nice but to ease your mind I'll look out for any red flags and signs."

"good now let's come up with your masquerade ball gown!" "I haven't chosen one yet but I'll find something."

(Tune in for part 2)

[bitchapalooza]

OKAY SO I OFFICIALLY FINISHED CH SEASON 3

Spoilers obviously

Okay good, Marry WAS written to be the way I thought she was(kinda but I was right).

I’m sad that Cloney Island was only one episode. Would’ve been nice to have a 2 part season finale, especially with the abrupt way Cleo and Frida were pushed back together— realistic for teenagers, especially a dramatized version of teenagers, but still would’ve been nice to see them fight a bit more, give sad longing glances over their shoulders after turning away, and then build that up to the climax of the episode where they make up in true sappy teen drama fashion that would be very in character for them both in the first place.

Aaaaaaaand Abe and Joan triangle once again but this time with Confucius! Wow! I am still not rooting for JoanAbe lmao, I think Joan and Confucius have way more chemistry than even Joanfk did. They seemed to have a lot of fun together.

Harriet and JFK… I still can’t see them working. I’m sorry. My new impression of Harriet is she’s one of those jealous types. A home wrecker and a cheater even. She just assumed she and Confucius were back together without asking, telling me that she’s definitely a bit of a control freak or definitely very impulsive(ocd possibly? Someone with more knowledge do an analysis, my basic level knowledge isn’t enough or factually sound). I honestly used to adore Harriet’s character, her annoying personality was passable enough to grow on me. But now it’s just insufferable. I mean I still love her character, but not really in the I adore her way, just that I wanna continue to see her fuck things up and see how much drama she can cause. And how her and JFK’s relationship will be ruined because I genuinely want it to be ruined because there’s really no substance behind it, just raging teenage hormones and the threat of imminent death.

I do genuinely feel bad for Scudworth but I for the love fuck cannot remember his ex-lover’s name. But I do hope Scud gets to see her again and they can actually be together in peace. They seemed nice together! I thought it was really cute, Scud was actually getting a win this time.

Uh Topher— or should we call him Christopher now?— being proud of his Clone lineage because some guests liked him was actually amazing in that I want a list of those people to avoid them which could be easy because they most likely were some of the January 6th capital rioters, that’s the only conclusion I can come up with that summarizes my entire assumption about those, uh, “fans”. But I guess it’s good he’s accepting who he’s been cloned from? Question mark? I’m scared of the micro aggressions to come. Someone contact his therapist that may or may not be Scudworth in a wig in the first place, I’m a little scared.

If season 4 is greenlit, if not already that is, I hope Gandhi gets to come back. There were several good call backs to him, especially how Scudworth inexplicably had several of his belongings in his possession? Sir what the fuck.

AND MY GOD THE F-BOMBS WHERE SO OVER DONE BUT ABSOLUTELY NOT IN A BAD WAY. They were perfectly balanced in my opinion and combined with the delivery of each Fuck combined with each Shit and every other curse mentioned, it was perfect. Compare it to either H/zben H/tel + h/lluva b/ss or Rick and Morty and you’ve actually got a script that although littered with curses, doesn’t rely on those curses to make the show funny. The fact each profanity wasn’t always expected coupled with the delivery is what made it good AND natural, not forced. Scudworth’s FUCK in season 2 walked so everyone’s FUCK AND SHIT in season 3 could run like fr.

I’m sad Cleo’s back with her terrible foster mom. I don’t like Frida’s foster dad. Having a sweater with your daughter’s face on it is….. strange. Confucius’ are kind of as I expected, but tbh I still say they’re fostering him for the publicity and check. Skunky Poo’s return was disturbing which seemed to be on purpose. I think I saw Van Gogh with two dads in the background and I’m only saying this because tbh I think he deserves two moms instead lmao, give this boy his two moms.

Abe this season felt like an in between of season 1 and 2 but mostly still s2. But I did love his interactions with JFK and Confucius. Especially JFK. And how fucking casual JFK essentially came out as bisexual lmao. All in all, these two were fucking hilarious this season. But yeah uh Abe is a toxic asshole by the way but we all knew that and honestly that’s why I love him and if Joanabe really IS endgame, I can cope with the fact that these two are highly likely to marry after graduation and divorce several years later, they’re terrible for each other.

I think this season was a lot better, which makes sense with what seemed like was a bigger budget. The animation actually looked a little different, not bad different but good different, much smoother??? I may have to go back and rewatch season 2, but right off the bat s3 animation really felt different, it felt more alive in a way and I really loved it. I hope we get a season 4 fr. And I hope it’s the final season, I cannot see it getting a s5 UNLESS it’s a parody/joke to how most shows these days keep stacking on the seasons without any heartfelt material in it (*cough* supernatural and the simpsons and bobs burger *cough* *cough*)

[tippedarrows]

Mr. C is a clingy man! With willing to hear about ur AU! :D

I have my own strange and not so lil AU, so it's always nice to see what AU other people creates, especially when they're working not alone on it! If you're gonna ramble about it, I'm definitely reading!<3

Also here's lil question for it to be an ask: who's ur favourite character from Old and New Order? I'm curious.

- Mr. C

I'm

speechless I'm screaming I'm so happy right now what . oh my goddg3fvvvv

Okay well,, if you're interested..... Uh..... me and my fiance @mrballpit have an au where the admins have kids - well, like... Petra is Romeo's daughter, Aiden is Xara's, and Lukas is Fred's... that's the basic plot and we're currently thinking on rewriting it from the base idea we had!

Essentially, Lukas was made first because Fred wanted to watch life grow. He wanted to be a father! Romeo, however, made Petra purely to copy Fred. Petra was raised as a weapon, someone who would never betray Romeo and would be the perfect person to help in the end. In retaliation, Xara made Aiden - but Aiden was kept a complete secret from Romeo, and even Fred. Until he was 10! Romeo NEVER got to know who he really was, but we're gonna work on that

Romeo was Lukas' monster under the bed until he had to watch in real time him.. errmmm.. murder his dad brutally? Yeah, that!

Aiden's got such an intense complex it needs it's own dedicated post.

And Petra, in that fight between the admins, accidentally ropes her friends in cuz she wants to help? And .. uh.. Romeo throws Aiden off the watch tower where Fred died cuz he has no idea who the kid is, and Xara goes after him, effectively forcing her to chose her son over her best friend.

When xara is put away in the institute, Aiden thinks she's dead, and Xara thinks AIDEN is dead because she told him to just run.

Petra, though.. poor girl was forced to fight Lukas - who did actually swing at her because like YOU DIDNT TELL HIM YOUR DAD WAS ROMEO !!! THAT WAS KEPT A SECRET THIS WHOLE TIME CUZ SHE WASNT PROUD! Did I also mention that Petra was sent to spy on Lukas, but found Aiden instead, and kept Aiden a secret from her dad?

That.. forces Petra to side with her dad. She pushes Lukas off the roof after slipping a water bucket into his hands. Her dad's like woohoo! You did it, you killed him!! Come now I can give you that gift I promised you since you were like 4 my pretty little princess!

BOOM. ADMIN POWERS. Petra hates it. They bedrock and the new world starts, petra is basically the reason all the new update stuff happens. They create the old builders together (Soren being one, hes a small part in this). Then Petra makes Jack to impress her dad cuz her dad is just like . Have fun! Bye! She ends up getting attached to Jack, and made him with the intent of him being a champion. That matters.

Then her dad's like surprise. Gauntlet. I'm going to kill his friends! Jack retires. Petra is horrified, as Jack was her last hope.

So, in retaliation, she creates Jesse. A hero. He'll take her dad down once and for all. Heavily implied Jesstra, also.

romeo will fail to reconnect with his daughter post protocol .... she hates him

as for your ask, kind sir.....

Jesse is my favorite of the new order! As of the old order, I LOVEEEE SORENNN SO MUCH!!! Yk kooky ..... Jesse my loveeeee my boyfriend!!!!

[linksthoughtbrambles]

The one that blew by.

Part 15 of Adventure Log+ (sequel to Link's Thought Brambles - much better to read in order). Warning for strong language and violence.

@newtsnaturethings beta-read this chapter! Thank you very, very much, Newt!

“It’s fire- I’m sure of it!”

“Indeed, Sir Margil, though it did not appear so earlier.”

“So much-“  “To see it this far out!”  “Goddess.”

Goddess is right.

Can’t say that.  “It’s Serenne.” 

“That- could be the whole town.”

“Beraya-“

“We won’t know until we’re a lot closer-” to her family- “but the fire’s…” massive- “in that direction.”

“Link is quite correct.”

I’m ‘Link’ again.  “Erl- or whoever he actually was- could’ve been telling the truth about fire spreading on the plain.”

“If he was, we shall likely be forced to retreat.  The season hasn’t been particularly dry, but these past few weeks have seen little rain in this area.”

.

That silence.

They’re scared.

They’re knights and warriors, but you can’t battle fire with blades.

Well.  Not effectively.

Daile’s as stony as he’s been this whole time- except at that first house.  Beraya’s smile still missing.  Margil’s wide-eye.  I don’t know Varino well at all.  That could just be his face.  Or he might already have a brick in his armor.  The others-

The others.

Thanks to those Sheikah half-masks, those two are a total mystery, but the Hylians are tired for sure.  Bad time to be tired.  Maybe the scared is good.  Alert and tired is better than asleep and dead.

No, no, you can’t be asleep if you’re dead.

.

I’m tired, too.   “Ahem.  Keep a sharp lookout, everyone.  Eyes all about.  You see open flame, you shout it out immediately.”

“Yes, sir.”  “As you say, Master Link!” “Yes, sir!” “Uh-” “Sir!” “Yessir.” “Yes, Master Link.”  “Yes, sir Link.” “Yes, general!”

Huh?

“Liff, what the #$(%?”

Yeah, what the #$(%, Liff?

“What?!”

“You’re a nitwit, that’s what!”

“But he IS one!”

“Don’t make it weird-“

“You’re the one making it weird!”

“Shh!”

Wow.

“Hmm.  Hm hmm.”

At least Zelda can still find things funny.  “Sir’s enough, thanks.”  Stop it, Link, stop grimacing.

“Kmph- eh- khh.”

“Z- Princess?”

“Khh.”

“Are you alright?  Do you smell smoke?” I don’t yet, but I expect to soon-

“Khh- ah- km.  Gm.  I am- well, thank you Link.  I do not smell smoke—yet.”

“Do you need water?”

“I have plenty, thank you.”

----

“It is-“ “Holy…” “It really IS.”  “Serenne…”  “Are you fricking seeing this?” “Hylia-“ “-to the lab-“

“Preserve us-“ “No way, couldn’t be.” “Hell.”  “Beraya?” “P-Princess-“

“Lift us from these sands…” “I’m fine.”  “Princess, we ought to turn back.”

“Beraya, your family-“ “Why is there so little smoke?”  “No.  Not unless we’re forced to.”

“I know.”  “But- your safety, Princess!”

“But what if-“ “You heard her- she said no.”

“No point guessing- we’ll find out.”  “Master Link, SURELY you must see-“

“Princess Zelda isn’t mine to command, and she’s not yours either.” She’s hers.  “…We’re hers.”

Right?

Right.

Dark looks.

“Sir Beraya.”

“Yes, Princess.”

“It sounds as though you’ve family here.”

“Yes, Princess.”

“Please be assured we shall not abandon them unless forced.”

“Sir Margil’s father lives just northwest-“

“Bera- ugh!”

“-of the town proper, as well, Princess.”

“Please, Princess, I know we cannot cater to our families.”

“I shall do everything in my power to see as many survive this as possible, Sir Margil.  That includes your father and your family, Beraya.  May I ask whom?”

.

“…My sister Miriah lives here with her dear friend Paulotta and her daughter Aeryn.”

“Where?”

“…Within the circle of trees.  Just on the edge.  South by southeast.”

Not too far off the way we’ll approach

What if the treeline’s lit?

We won’t be able to cross if it is.

We shouldn’t even consider entering if it is.  Not if we value our own lives.

Zelda’s life.

Seggin.  Seggin said Zelda and I had to survive.  Which… obviously.

He also basically said we couldn’t be coddled.

Pretty sure I don’t consider ‘not running into a blazing townfire’ to be coddling.

Pretty sure I don’t care either way.

I’m not leaving people to die in there.

.

.

Oh!

Zelda.

I have to ask.

I have to tell her, too.  Tell her I can’t.  I can’t turn away from it even if she orders me to.  Either the fire stops me or nothing does.

“Zelda.”

“Hph.  So quiet, my knight.”

Oh Goddess.  Now is NOT the time to relive the last time she called me that.  “I’m going in there unless I physically can’t.”

“As am I.”

YES! No. “You’d be safer-“

“I’d be useless.  No, Link.  No.  There is no more time to wade into shallow waters and hope in stillness.  I must move.  I must move to aid my people.”

“…I had to say it anyway.”

That smile.

“I know you did.”

So warm.

So smokey.  “I smell it, now.”

“…Yes-”

“Listen up, all!”

“-khm.”

“We’ll enter Serenne and give aid where we can!  Anyone alive, we get them out.  Monsters?  We slay them.”

“Let me make two other aspects of this clear for all of you, including Sir Link.  We are not to separate.  This group remains as one unless I say otherwise.”

Good.

“If we encounter the man we know as Erl, we attempt to capture him for questioning.”

Oh- oh woah, I don’t like that idea, we should-

.

.

Wow, Link.

Should what?  Let him go? 

.

.

I’d have no problem dragging his ass somewhere for questioning.

.

It’s because of Zelda.

I don’t want him near her.

This… is clearly my issue.  Quit being a nervous dumbass, Link.  Zelda just slaughtered dozens of monsters with you.

“Kph- khm.”

Yeah.  I smell it too for sure this time.

“Khm.”

She- water. Okay.

Flame.  “I hear it.”

Wish I knew what would happen if my pouch caught on fire.  Does everything inside it disappear forever if it burns?  Does it just reappear and dump itself all over the ground?

I have to figure this stuff out somehow.  Because clearly the war we thought was coming is already here.

.

.

We’re at war.

“RIDERS!”

?!! “Zel- where?!”

“THERE!”

Where where come on Link whereTHERE “SOUTHWEST, TEN O’CLOCK, BOKO RIDERS, NORTH OF THE HILLS- COUNT-“

“THIRTEEN MINIMUM!”

Her EYES, wow- but “PRINCESS-“

“YOU MAY SAY IT BUT I SHALL NOT AGREE!”

“-I FORMALLY REQUEST YOU TURN BACK UNTIL WE DEAL WITH THE RIDERS!”

“REQUEST DENIED!”

“ALRIGHT, THEN!  BERAYA, MARGIL, FLANK THE PRINCESS!  DAILE, VARNIRO, WITH ME ON POINT!  LIFF, COHL, BENNENT, GENENKO, FLANK US!  TERIAL, LAHS, AREE, OEREB, FLANK BERAYA AND MARGIL- PROVIDE LONG RANGE SUPPORT WITH THE PRINCESS!”

“AYE!” “YES, SIR!” “YESSIR!” “Khh.” “YES-“ “D- amn bowstring-“

“DRAW!  FLANK!  HUIRU AND REIDA, WITH US, CIRCLE WIDE!”

“BUT THE PRINCESS!”

“DO AS SIR LINK INSTRUCTS!  I AM NEITHER HELPLESS NOR UNPROTECTED!”

“Y-YES-“ “AS YOU WISH, PRINCESS!”

Glad they listened to her.  Sheikah loyalty to the royal line- I hope.  Still not leaving Zelda’s melee support in the hands of total unknowns.  Margil and Beraya’ll keep her safe.

Hope Varniro knows what the hell he’s doing up here with us.

“Reds first.”

They’re coming FAST.

“They shall end swiftly.”

Four reds?  Hard to seeWOW!

“One- khm.” “Wh?!” “AH!” “Holy HELL?!” “P- OH!” “MERCIFUL GODDESS!”

DAMN- amazing shot

“PRINcess!”  “HA! Wh?!” “COHL DID YOU SEE?!”

even for Zelda!-

“COURSE I DID, EYES FRONT!”

This is going to be so much easier-

“THEY ARE, THAT’S HOW I SAW- LOOK!”

“Two.”  “Hhh!”  “HAH!”

SO MUCH EASIER with Zelda here.

Stop grinning, Link.

“Margil-”

You probably lookWOW-

“Three.”  “MARGIL-“

Insane-

“I KNOW, BERAYA!”

Then again-

“Too far.  Blue.“

That’s a grin on Daile, too.

“Just-“  “Wow-“ “Khm.  Stubborn.  Again.”

Blue down!

“Praise the Goddess herself!” “Four.”

I’ll take it.  “SPEED, Gir-!” NOT Rionee,“GO, BOY!”

“Yes!”  “ON, GIRL!” “YES SIR!” “KYAH!” “FLAAAAANK!”  “ARCHERS AT READY!”

Good tone, carries, tell Beraya later-

“YES SIR!” “READY!”

Good horse- good boy, keep listening for me, okay?  Here they come.

Except not all of them.

“Yes-“ “Five-hhh.” “H- YES!!”  “Oh- MY-“ “Skies-”

Zelda’s crippling them.

“Not five yet.”

Just one-shotting reds on horseback and ONE

“Five.”

IN EACH EYE FOR THAT BLUE!

“SIR!”

“VARNIRO?”

“HOW?!”

NOO Link, don’t start laughing – “DON’T KNOW!” But I can’t blame him for wondering.

Five down already-

…Snag.

They’ve caught on- shields up.  Zig-zagging.  “TAKE THEIR SHIELDS!”

“YES!”  “YES SIR!” “MPH!”

“CHARGE!”  Pull ahead, ahead, pull way out!

Hope those other archers are good enough to miss US far off.

Maybe Fi.

Yes, master?

Sorry.  Was thinking to myself.

How encouraging.

“Khm- TAKE CARE, ARCHERS! FAN OUT!“

Arm straight right.  Ignore Fi’s snark.

“YES, PRINCESS!”

No snark intended, master.

“TARGET OUTLIERS ONLY!”

Uh-huh.  Concentrate.

“I SHALL TAKE CENTER!”

IT WON’T HURT YOU!  I should’ve warned Varniro.  Noted for next time.

Concentrate.  Everything into the sword.  I heard that squealARCHERS INCOMING! SHIELDS!

.

Come on, Varni- hh.  He’s slower than Daile.

“Khh.”

SHEIKAH!  GO WIDE!

They didn’t say anything but they’re doing it.  Maybe they’ll get to those far-off archers quick.  Unless Zelda snags them fir-

“Si-x… no.”

One de-horsed and concentrate here they ARE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! DE-HORSED HE’S OFF HE’S ZELDA’S OR-

-what color was that?!  Yellow?!  New!

Daile saw it, he saw too, that was a nasty NASTY- looking club-

“PRINCESS!”

Don’t turn-

“I HAVE IT!”

-let the archers finish it off, you’ll screw it up otherwise-

“Wh?!  Khh-hh.”

-and FIRE-ARROWS, BREAK!

“TERIAL, LAHS, SUPPORT!”

Wooden shields bad some of the others DAILE YES RIDER DOWN

“STILL STANDING?!”  “VEER OFF, PRINCESS!”

this one right in front, huge bone club

“I SHAN’T- ANOTHER VOLLEY!”

AGAIN Link, arm straight out, the energy, concentrate, yes it telegraphs but the reach-

It sees it sees it’s charging EARLYNOCHOICE AAAAH- HPH-HH! Dammit still horsed, behind me- Beraya-!

NO!

TURN AROUND TURN AROUND LINK HYAH!  HYAH!  SORRY BOY APPLES LATER HOW’S THE YELLOW NOT DOWN HOW IS IT NOT DOWN HOW HOW

DAILE GET THE OTHER, DE-HORSE, DE-HORFFFCK-

Good horse, holy s$#&, good boy, you’re damn nimble and so am I so I STILL HAVE A HEAD and WE FLY TO THAT YELLOW HEY!  HEY!  HEY YOU YOU YOU Y“OU!  HEY!” THAT’S RIGHT LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME IT HAS TO HAVE TWELVE ARROWS IN ITS CHEST BEHEAD IT BEHEAD IT- “RRR-KH!” CLUBCOMINGFACE!

“HH!” “LINK!”

That was f-ing close how is it so strong?!  It’s keyed onto me good good let’s go, around for another pass and NOTTHEHORSE“PSH!” It’s too smart too smart it’ll take the horse’s legs out if I get close again-

Can’t get close…

…on the horse.

Turn turn TURN TURN TOWARD THEN YOU CAN GO WHEREVER YOU WANT, HORSE, NOW“HAAAH!”ITSEES ITSEESITCOMING IT’LLHITME WE’LLBOTHHIT “AHH-KHHKT!”

“QQQKKUOUYYYEH!”

Shield-

MY SHIELD cracked-

In one hit?!

It’s way too strong it shouldn’t beCLUBSHEILD “AH-K-H-HH!”

“LINK- AH!”

Another arrow sunk

“QQKUIUY-YH!”

and SHUT UP the damn thing’s still raging, take it out, Link, PUT. IT. DOWN. SLASH SLASHWOAH MISSED ME STRIKESTRIKESTRIKESTRIKESTRIKESTRIKE-

“RUIO DID YOU SEE THAT?!”

STRIKE GO DOWN- GO ON-

“QQKUIU!!!  KHHH!!”

“KEEP YELLING!” AND NOT LOOKING AT THE ARCHERS NOW CIRCLING YOUNO NO NO NO NO “HEY! HEY!  HERE I AM NO- NO!” RUN RUN RUN RUN IT’S FAST, FAST TOO- NO! “THE HORSES, BREAK OFF!  BREAK OFF!”

 “THIS WAY!  HEY!!” Margil and Beraya “YEAH, ME, ME, NOT THEM!” still with Zelda “WHERE- HEY!!” RUN LINK still flanking RUNRUN a little messy “HEY!!” she’s unpredictable, independent, trying to stay near me isn’t sheSLASH!

ThatgotitsattentionBACKFLIP you’reinitnowyoujerkSLASHSWIPESLASHKNOCKKNOCKTHATSHIELD

“KWHHHHEHHH!”

YES! SWIPE MIDSECTION RIGHT ACROSSWHAAAAAT? ARE YOU F*&$ING KIDDING?!  “GO DOWN!”

“QKWKOIHHHWWW-”

ANOTHER arrow, thank-you Zelda-

“-HHHHKKEHHH!”

RIGHTBACKATYOU SWIPE SLASH cluUUB! “Rr- rrh-!” How is it this strong, it’s difficult, difficult to keep its club away from my face and it shouldn’t be like that, this one is so different, even the silvers aren’t like this FOOT“AHH-HH!” UPUPLINK DON’T STAY BOWLED OVER ROLLROLL

My goddess its club in the dirt my head was just there”RRR-!”ITSNECK

.

No more head.

.

And there it goes.

Down.

Aware, Link, aware-

Horse?

Far.  Run, Link.  Does he know whistling?  Try.

Zelda, archers, they’ll get the shieldless ones-

Daile still horsed, he’s got one but he’s far- Varniro?   On foot?  The two Sheikah- approaching Zelda-

Some of ours definitely dehorsed.

Hyup, boy!  Well-trained.  Still must be weird, a complete stranger and then all this-

Zelda- okay-

Regroup- toward others, like she is, help mop up-

“FLANK!  TAKE ANY SHOT YOU HAVE!”

“YES, PRINCESS!” “EH!” “HYU!”

“Sirs, I am WELL, TRULY, go to the others’ aid!”

“But-“ “Princess!“

“HEED ME!”

Can’t hear-

“OBEY THE PRINCESS!”

Breaking off- they’re unpredictable, too.

Zelda?

New line- circling wide.

Trust her.  Hyah!  Finish the bokos off.

Daile’s- about to go down- or is it?  Mine wouldn’t drop.

Hup! Toward Daile, boy, fast!

He sees me, pretending not to, the pounding’ll give it away though, it will- yes it’s turning, nasty spear, bone again, out-reaches me by far, but Daile is smarter.

Ride ride ride, boy, fast, that’s right look at me look at me not Daile TURN BOY NOW TURN-

Squelching.  Daile-?

Yes.  Sword through its head.  Dropping.

Everyone else?

.

Wow.

Still.

“TO ME!”

To her.  Daile- you’re real good.

.

No, I mean it.

“You good, Beraya?”

Because you’re still alive.  Did you get hit?

“Yes! You?”

Good.  Think your shield is still here?

“Just a scratch- some dinged plate.”

Yeah, maybe.

“Keep it that way, Margil.”

Keep scanning, Link, in case something decides to pop out from the grass and screw with Daile.  Hope he sees the shield.

.

He does.

Okay- let’s go.  Back together, take stock.

“Not quick enough- TO ME!”

Sorry, sorry- yes- YES PRINCESS!!

Speed speed speed sorry Daile

“More- do you see them?!”

hurry Link

“Indeed, Margil.”  “ARCHERS!  FIRE AT WILL!”

“The Sheikah!”

What the f&#$ are they doing?!

“Hold- HOLD!”

BREAK OFF!  REIDA, HUIRU!

“Princess!”  “They’ll reach us!”  “SHEIKAH, BREAK!  BREAK!  KHh.”

FOR F#$&’S SAKE!

“Hylia’s light!”  “I- khh- SHALL FIRE!”

GET OUT OF THE WAY!

“PRINCESS, RETREAT!”

“Hh!”

ONE ARROW NOT ENOUGH NOT ENOUGH, SHEIKAH- BREAKING!

“ARCHERS FIRE!”

Hit hit hit HIT HIT HIT S#$&

“RETREAT, PRINCESS!”

F$&#ING SILVERS

“INDEED NOT!”

She’s right no time she’d be prone prone open back vulnerable more arrows ONE DOWN not enough- move move MOVE

SHE’S NOT A RIDER LINK SHE’S NOT LIKE YOU SHE DOESN’T-

ZELDA CHARGE!  CHARGE!  CHARGE-

“BERAYA, GO!!”

MARGIL!

“HAHHHHH!!”

GOOD MAN

“Hh!”

GOOD BERAYA TOO

“Oh- oh!”

She’s drawing, S$#%, she’s right but I didn’t, didn’t at all want her in close combat again and definitely not like this, horsed, so different, no training no training NONE the bow the bow the bow?!

NO, LOST, GRASS?  NOISE LINK GET THEIR ATTENTION AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  HAAAAAAAAAH!  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH SWORD SWORD, THE SKY THE SKY HELP THE SKYWARD STRIKE THE SKYWARD- THE LIGHT- “HAH!” AWAY!

“QUEHWWHWY!”

DON’T CUT THEM OFF BERAYA AND MARGIL BEHIND BEHIND THEM-

“RAA- AAAGH!”  “YAAA- KTCH!”

SWITCH HANDS SWITCH LEFT SLICE “AhAAH- HH!”

“LINK!”

STAY UP STAY UP BOY GOOD G-OHFU- “aAAAHPFFCKthph-“

“KWEHYYYEH-HHH!”

GETOFF”GGGH-HH!”MYBACK-

“AH-HH!”

Wh?  “ZELDA!”  Goddess, they’ll bowl her over “TURN!  TURN BACK-” No time it’s standing again “N-NoAAH!” I’ve got you, got you by the ankles you piece of-

NO YOU DON’T

“Tass! Easy-“

Tass hit holditBACK!

“Easy- Mm- MM-HH-“

HoldonZeldaPUNCH

“Easy, Tass-”

PUNCHPUNCH

“That’s it- go!”

where- sword?!-

“KHWEHYEYWEHH!”

PUNCH “SHUT IT!” THEREITIS! Zeldariding outofrange GET IT-

YES!

“QUIEHHHEHH!”

ABOVE- “H-UGH-“ skewered  “KH-“ itsarms ITSARMS “ggh-GHH-“ CAN’T “WH?!” blood- limp- arrow!  Zelda?  Next one move on move on move on move on she circled back still moving yes keep moving Zelda keep moving Beraya Margil good good lots of arrows- our archers- ours-

The Sheikah?  Circled behind?  Behind enemy- fine out of the way fine they’ll take a few out-

The one- the one that blew by me- where is it?

Where’s its horse?

Mine-

No- not now.

She’s firing again.

Not near our people.  Too risky.

My turn.

You’re fast Link, you’re fast, you can do this, they’re all engaged all the bokos but the one that passed you, could be behind Zelda check check- nothing- keep going she’s looking too, she’s smart, she’s smart she knows, she knows too, one’s missing some of ours, some of ours missing too

Daile dear Goddess did he make it?  Can’t know can’t he was on foot slow can’t tell

Near- that’s not Margil it’s Genenko needs support, arm limp sword to the sky Link-

Hylia preserve us- lift us from these sands- NOW!

It’s down it’s down Genenko sword through its throat who else who else-

The boko’s horse- mine.

Woah- woah, woahWOAH girl, woah!  I know, I S$@% holy F%*$- SWING-

Blood-

Dammit Link watch the f-ing grass for ankle-stabbing bokos, it’s dead it’s dead now, ignore the ankle, it’s working, it’s fine for now-

No horse it bolted oh well GO legs S$*% that hurts not worse though not worse than the melee nowhere near actually but that silver’s near and he is NOT getting the jump on whoever that is who JUST FELL OFF THEIR HORSE NO NO NO JUMP LINK LEAP AAAAAAAAAH-

.

It’s dead.

.

Aree-?

.

Good- good, up, go!

.

More?

Zelda-?

G- ood.

Every direction, Link.

Eyes eyes eyes all around count count- none?  “EYES!  COUNT!”

“NONE!”  “NONE, SIR!” “NOTHING!” “NONE, LINK!”

“EYES EAST BY NORTHEAST!”

.

“NONE, SIR!” “NOOONE!”

Fled.

Must have.

Zelda- Z”ELDA!”

“LINK- kmp!”

“ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”

“I AM!”

“REPORT!  ALL, REPORT!”

“AREE, WELL!”  “MARGIL, SiR!” “BERAYA, SIR!”  “GENENKO, BAD SHEILD ARM!”  “COHL SIRRR!”  “LIFF!  WELL!”

.

Please be more “REPOOORT!”

.

“REPOOORT!”

“VARNIROOO!  I’M HEEEERE!”

Wow, couldn’t even see him in the dark and the grass.

…Daile?

.

Daile, man, come-

“DAILE!  WELL!”

YES!

“LAAAHHHS!  HURT!  LEG!”

On foot, difficult- did my horse make it?  “AREE HELP HIM OUT!”

“YESSIR!”

Oereb.  Bennent.  “REPORT!”

.

S*&$ “BENNENT!  OEREB!  REPORT!”

“SIR BENNENT!  SIR OEREB!  REPORT AT ONCE!”

Zelda…

“REPORT AT ONCE!”

It’s not a rank thing-

“REPORT, SIRS!”

Yeah, Link.  She knows that.  Look at her face.

.

Her face… “Alright.  RIDE OUT IN PAIRS!  SCOUR THE AREA!”

“AYE SIR!” “YES SIR!” “HUP-“

Pretty sure I know what they’ll find.  I should… try to find my horse.  He’s probably downed.

That- red sky.

Serenne’s next.

Whether I have a horse or not.

Serenne’s next.

Smoke.

“Khm- kh.”

----------------

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